~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| – | hard for me to want to be in a relationship while knowing the true nature of menYour lack of understanding doesn't mean everyone else is a moron. We are trying to convey some nuance but that seems to be beyond your grasp at the moment. Would you show me exactly where the b2b post says men are only attracted to 22 yos and are only as loyal as their options? Because I've been around RPW for a while now and I don't recall ever seeing that officially endorsed here. Maybe in some random youtube video looking for views, but not here. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/06/26 12:46 AM |
| – | hard for me to want to be in a relationship while knowing the true nature of menYou had a two week boyfriend in high school and you are here arguing with a married woman that "obviously he wouldn't tell you if he wanted to cheat lol". You're being so condescending while you can't even understand the kind of loyalty and trust she talks about. That lack of understanding is your problem, not the problem of happily married women with trustworthy husbands. If you obviously know it all, why are you even here asking for advice? | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/06/26 12:13 AM |
| 4 | Exclusive with a man, but…If this wasn't your first relationship in 4 years, would you be willing to accept this arrangement? Why is he out there dating women he knows his parents wouldn't approve of, if their parents have their final say? He's clearly telling you that he wants an American girlfriend who will give him the girlfriend experience, not an American wife. The wife will have to be an acceptable girl from back home who will presumably be expected to live with his parents and be appropriately submissive to them..… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/06/26 03:43 PM |
| 5 | one sided open relationshipIt's funny to me to read "how toxic it's become" when a few years ago we had multiple ECs with a one sided open relationship. I don't think many articipate here anymore, but it was definitely more of a thing before the current tradwife era. Of course those ECs would probably have had a more nuanced approach and not everyone would have agreed anyway. Not sure why you're taking a single comment from a random new user as the sub's official and universal stance. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/26 06:49 PM |
| 2 | How to nicely remind/talk about things not getting done that he has promised to do?Those were just examples, but I feel like things always get done just before it's too late. So... they do get done before it's too late? Is this causing you/your family actual, practical issues that then need to be solved, or is the issue that you'd simply like these things to get done sooner and can't relax until they're done? (It could be both at different times of course!) What happens if you just stop reminding him and stop monitoring what he's doing? Whenever his different timeline/prioriti… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/06/26 08:14 PM |
| 3 | I am TERRIBLE at letting my husband help me, and then I resent him for not helping meIt sounds like you're really doing your best here. Your imperfections fall under "we're all only human" too. I think sometimes it's ok to vent and get things off your chest even when it's not something you would want to say to him directly (or the phrasing you would use)... just do it with the friends who will help you work through your feelings, instead of feeding the negativity. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/26 06:01 PM |
| 4 | Things are starting to feel better after fighting a lotThanks for sharing. On your first point, assuming good faith really does wonders! | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/26 01:56 PM |
| 7 | Expected Violence?If he felt comfortable doing that in public, what's he going to do in private? | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/26 10:06 PM |
| 2 | How to avoid getting mad at husband for his childcare mistakes?u/MoreThanPurple could I give a star here? :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/26 09:56 PM |
| 3 | How to avoid getting mad at husband for his childcare mistakes?He is their parent too. You do not "delegate" parenting to him. You are not the ultimate arbiter of right and wrong, and he is not wrong just because he does not do everything exactly how you would do it, so stop judging his every move. You talk of a harmless sibling squabble as if your husband had let a child hold the other at knifepoint. I understand having one or two legitimate issues where you two disagree and need to find common ground... but it can't be every single little thing that you n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/26 03:08 PM |
| 6 | What is a realistic weight/body goal?Your husband sounds like a good man. Take his words for what he (admittedly, in a very clumsy way) meant to say and not what you heard. Men can be a bit clueless sometimes, we'll try not to hold it against them 😜 I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight between my first and second pregnancy... it took a long time and I still didn't look like I did before having a baby. Your body structure changes. It's a hard pill to swallow but there's nothing to be done about it. At some point, when you're the mo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/26 01:53 PM |
| 18 | What is a realistic weight/body goal?Get off instagram. Really. It's destructive. You talk like getting back to your pre pregnancy weight is going to "fix everything" and make you look like before you had kids... but no amount of beating yourself up and turning down cake at your kid's birthday party can give your old body back. It's been 10 years and 4 kids. You can't chase looking like you did at 25. You're not 25 anymore and you can never be. That's just reality. However, when I kept pressing him on it about a year and half ago (… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/26 12:54 PM |
| 10 | How to avoid getting mad at husband for his childcare mistakes?I literally can’t turn my back for a second or ask him to fetch anything while I’m busy with the baby, or else he messes up. I would start by reframing this in your mind. Unless you married an absolute idiot who can't be trusted to keep his own children alive, it is simply not true. A baby falling backward is just... life. Unless he let her fall backward out of a window, I would hardly say he messed up there. Messy diaper changes happen and he can just clean up when he's done. Microwaving someth… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/26 11:47 AM |
| 5 | How to avoid getting mad at husband for his childcare mistakes?She says his diaper changes are messy, not that he just intentionally leaves poop everywhere when changing the baby. This take is unnecessarily hostile against OP's husband based on very little information here, IMO. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/26 11:41 AM |
| 6 | How to avoid getting mad at husband for his childcare mistakes?What makes you think OP's husband is doing it on purpose? | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/26 10:53 AM |
| 12 | Am I just going to have to put up with my husband flirting with other women?I know he loves me and we have been through a lot. You do realize that all this... his addiction, his cheating, his debts that you skipped college to pay for, and him chasing other women while you worked 18 hour days to provide for him... it's not "being through a lot", it's him putting you through a lot as a direct consequence of his own actions. He is CHOOSING all this. And you are taking it. Why? | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/26 08:10 AM |
| 2 | When Your Husband Doesn't Initiate Sex Anymore (And You Feel Stupid For Trying): How To Find The SolutionIf a woman senses that her efforts are not reciprocated then she mirrors the husband/boyfriend. Which would mean to withdraw proportional to his effort. That sounds an awful lot like "keeping score", which is not something we generally recommend. If a woman is doing moat of the household and is working and does not get intimacy or is not returned fairly, tgen demanding house chores is becomes a fair exchange of value. Likewise, we generally don't recommend choreplay and demands. Demands don't wo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/26 06:53 PM |
| 5 | When Your Husband Doesn't Initiate Sex Anymore (And You Feel Stupid For Trying): How To Find The SolutionFWIW, the Laura Doyle strategies are definitely what helps in my case, even when I'm not sensing much attraction. Withdrawal is not really conductive to intimacy. I can see a scenario where it would help if the wife was extremely pushy and the husband was extremely tired of that, but "tone it down" would still be better than going straight to zero imo. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/26 05:42 PM |
| 2 | AITAH for having a baby my ex-bf doesn’t want…at all.Your own trauma has nothing to do with OP's decision to continue the pregnancy. You are in no position to say that it would be better for OP's baby to be aborted than to be raised by OP. That's disgusting. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/26 05:35 PM |
| 3 | When Your Husband Doesn't Initiate Sex Anymore (And You Feel Stupid For Trying): How To Find The SolutionInteresting topic. I doubt that withdrawal and demands to share chores would have helped in my marriage but maybe there's just something in the phrasing that doesn't click for me. Is this something that has worked in your own marriage to solve the issue? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/26 05:20 PM |
| 3 | RPW maintenance - how do you keep the knowledge fresh?Or pregnancy... 😂 | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/26 03:35 PM |
| 2 | Talking with a guy onlineOh I absolutely agree that creating a "friends first" rule artificially is not going to work. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/26 09:13 PM |
| 4 | Talking with a guy onlineSure, you can get to know each other while dating also, but as we both noted, being friends first is a different thing. I happen to find that specific thing a good way of vetting a man for who he really is, in a low stakes context, while organically being in the same social circle. Yes, that means the woman is making up her mind about him, and possibly about other men too. I understand some men might not like it because they'd rather not be, as you put it, cock blocked. I still think it's in the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/26 10:39 AM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 28, 2026My goodness girl, have you ever considered reading something you don't agree with and just... moving on? | /r/RedPillWives | 01/06/26 02:07 AM |
| 4 | Talking with a guy onlineThis is completely unrelated to OP's situation though. Of course you start as "friends first" with people you meet online. In other cases: no, don't try friends first with people you meet through a dating app obviously, that's not how those work. But with people you meet IRL through your social circle, being friends first is an excellent way for a woman to vet a man. Of course a man is going to head for the exit if he's looking to get somewhere else as fast as possible, but there are indeed men … | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/26 06:46 PM |
| 5 | Talking with a guy onlineIt IS completely different to date online through apps as a way of meeting local men VS "dating" someone on the other side of the world. Sweet and funny on Discord don't make up for never having a chance to meet each other. What would you want out of an online relationship with this guy? | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/26 06:39 PM |
| 11 | Men Want Us To Be Better Than Them (from “Fascinating Womanhood”)This is very interesting. I wonder how much is a desire for moral superiority vs the good aspects of being childlike/"untouched" by the world, and how the two are linked. It seems to mirror the female desire for competence and experience. Sounds fair to me :) It can be off putting to be put on a pedestral - until you find the man who makes you want to be the person he sees in you. I'm told the same happens to men. "You make me a better person". It's good when you inspire the best out of each oth… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/26 07:39 AM |
| 3 | He didn’t offer to take me home after date, I feel disappointed but don’t know if I’m being too pickyIf you don't believe the bus is safe, then plan accordingly. If you choose to get on the bus, then you believe it is safe, so why would not offering a uber mean he doesn't consider your safety? You are an adult. You choose your transportation. He should have no reason to believe you can't be trusted to get home safely at night without his help. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/26 05:20 PM |
| 6 | He didn’t offer to take me home after date, I feel disappointed but don’t know if I’m being too pickyI agree context and society change, but OP is still entitled to her own preferences and expectations. The issue here is not "men ruined it" or "women ruined", it is simply what to do when your date does something that doesn't land so well with you, because that's always going to happen. It is important to distinguish between a preference and a requirement/deal breaker. I had a preference for men who'd pick me up, offer to pick up the tab, open the door for me. While not being required, a thought… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/26 01:33 PM |
| 10 | He didn’t offer to take me home after date, I feel disappointed but don’t know if I’m being too pickyChivalry is dead and women killed it. Well, I wouldn't recommend bringing that kind of antagonistic mindset on a date when looking for a longterm partner, either. It is not a war. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/26 11:12 AM |
| 12 | He didn’t offer to take me home after date, I feel disappointed but don’t know if I’m being too pickyYes, you're being too harsh. This isn't even a minor issue, it's a non-issue. I’ve taken the bus a lot in my life, I don’t mind taking it at all and I’m not looking for a free ride. It just feels good knowing a man wants to protect you , wants to make you get home safe. I just felt abit disappointed, I wanted to feel that protection from him I guess. You say yourself that you've taken the bus a lot. Is it not safe in your experience? Was anything going to happen, realistically? He walked you to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/26 08:41 AM |
| 1 | Musings on happinessI don't miss it. We had a lot of time before kids but we were also both together when we were finishing school and that was certainly more "striving for joint goals" than happy and carefree. Kids are just the most obvious way that life gets stressful 😂 I guess there's never a perfect trajectory. I'm happy with the choices I made, I'm just aware of the trade offs... now. Not sure I was aware of them before 😂 But I do agree that your approach to sexy mommy daddy time should remain joyful and light… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/26 08:56 PM |
| 3 | How do I go about letting men know that I have certain financial standards when it comes to dating someone seriously without seeming like a gold digger or hurting feelings?This sub is actually not about finding a red pill man, nor about tradcon values or being a SAHM. It's a sub for women who want a committed male-led relationship and how to use RP strategies to get there. There is a very handy pinned thread at the top to explain all the basics to newcomers. Unfortunately, a lot of the answers they're getting are from other single women who think they know what men want but really don't or they'd be in successful, happy marriages already. I agree it's unfortunate.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/26 01:43 PM |
| 4 | How do I go about letting men know that I have certain financial standards when it comes to dating someone seriously without seeming like a gold digger or hurting feelings?I'm curious what you think this subreddit is about, since you are the expert? | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/26 12:15 PM |
| 10 | How do I go about letting men know that I have certain financial standards when it comes to dating someone seriously without seeming like a gold digger or hurting feelings?Men do not care about a woman's financial stability, career or education if they are only looking for sex, or if they come from a lower socioeconomical class themselves. Otherwise, these are important points when choosing a life partner. Doctors might marry nurses but they rarely marry uneducated cashiers. Social status has always been a thing and still is. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/26 11:37 AM |
| 9 | I date multiple suitors simultaneouslySounds like it's working perfectly well for you. Let me know how marriage is. The goal is not to get as many men as possible to be useful to you until you're no longer young and hot. It is to find one man you can love and respect for life. You are filtering for thirsty desperate men. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/05/26 10:05 AM |
| 11 | I date multiple suitors simultaneouslyDo you like your men without a spine in the first place, or do you like to watch them lose it in the process? | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/26 05:28 PM |
| – | [ Removed by moderator ]If a man can’t handle a high-pressure procurement process, he doesn't belong in my orbit. Remember when we used to call these men beta orbiters? Now we seem to consider it the optimal dating strategy. Have fun with the dwindling attraction and the rising contempt once the chase tingles wear off. The goal is not getting as many dinners paid as possible, it's finding one man you can build a happy relationship for life. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/26 11:07 AM |
| 5 | Musings on happinessI agree and disagree with this. (Bear with me, this is a "yes, and"). Maybe it's just an issue of different definitions. I know that "happy". That light, carefree bliss. Life wasn't empty or meaningless, but it certainly was more... self centered and maybe a bit selfish, in its peace. I don't think the current discourse that focuses so much on sitting back and receiving is the whole point of femininity, but there certainly was an aspect of graciously receiving to it. (Plus the pretty dresses! Ye… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/26 08:36 PM |
| 1 | Ok is this traditional or toxic ?I think you know the answer to this question. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/26 11:51 AM |
| 10 | Advice please?I am looking for any reason to stay This isn't what you should be doing. You are not married. You should be vetting. You should be looking for signs that make you think "yes, I want this man for life, as he is now" or "no, I can't live with that". Do not marry him in hope he will change. Do not walk on eggshells in hope that if you are good enough, he will stop insulting you. Chances are, he will always find some reason to say you are not good enough. If he does not want to be satisfied, he will… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/26 09:56 PM |
| 13 | Excited to be hereWelcome here. I am probably more left leaning than most here and yet THIS was the only community that really helped my relationship go from good to great. Self improvement is more empowering than the entitled "queen, you deserve better" attitude. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/26 08:28 PM |
| 2 | Make him wait for sexSerious boyfriends that spoil you rotten are not husbands though. I caution against casting judgement and giving arbitrary timeframes when that doesn't even seem to have worked. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/26 12:49 PM |
| 3 | Make him wait for sexWhen you say "for months if you have to" - what does "have to" mean? What defines the appropriate time he should wait for? Why do you recommend making him wait, how did it make your relationship better? You'll find many women here who have happy marriages after having sex much earlier than you did. There's some first date sex, second date, third date. I had sex on what wasn't even supposed to be a date - pre-first date sex? And I know I wouldn't have my husband today if I had "made him wait" for… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/26 10:15 AM |
| 3 | Help with anger in submission!For me, it helps to let him know what's going on and then just refuse to engage. Become a broken record of "please, I just need a moment to calm down" and remove myself from the argument. Go take a walk if necessary. I've had more success with this strategy after sharing with my husband - at a calm time, unrelated to any discussion - the article on flooding and explaining what was going on for me. Before, he'd interpret it as a way to shut him out or refuse to discuss an important issue that he … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/05/26 10:46 AM |
| 11 | Help with anger in submission!There's always going to be conflict to some level. Anger is normal. Emotions are normal. Dealing with them in a way that doesn't create more conflict and distance is the tricky part. Two things help me with this issue: recognizing when I need a break because I am getting too upset, and getting called out by my husband when I start snapping at him. Either I hit the pause button or he does for me. This of course requires self discipline to bite my tongue and apologize when I get called out, instea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/26 09:26 PM |
| 5 | Single and Happy? Are they?I think the novelty here is rejecting contact with men because they are men. Traditionally, celibacy would be linked to a commitment to a higher spiriturality and a rejection of one's own "lower" instincts, not directly out of contempt for the other sex. I do not trust anyone who despises half of humanity on the basis of gender - that's prejudice, not happiness. But celibacy per se, I can see how it would draw some people. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/26 09:47 PM |
| 4 | Single and Happy? Are they?Sounds like nuns to me? Joking but not so much. Throughout history you'll find people everywhere swearing that a happy and meaningful life comes from celibacy and segregation from the opposite sex/from the world. Now, this movement is obviously a cope, but go to early Christianity and you'll find even st Paul saying that celibacy is the better condition. Early asceticism, monastic orders of any religion, lay people sworn to celibacy... I don't have reason to think that for some people that is in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/26 12:13 PM |
| 14 | Spiraling and questioning my entire relationship after people online called my boyfriend controlling over clothing opinions?You do not owe the internet an explanation. It's strangers. Who cares. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/05/26 12:36 PM |
| 2 | Do you think there’s a difference between being a feminine wife and a traditional wife?I see feminine as a demeanor and way to be in relation to others. Traditional is more about what you do, the role you take on and the values you hold Neither implies living a sheltered, stress free life devoid of any responsibility. Being a feminine or traditional woman presupposes being an adult first, not a perpetual child. As for "tradwife", it is a catchy social media label that has very little to do with actual tradition or my view of femininity. It's certainly a good cover for some kinky p… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/26 04:59 PM |
| 1 | Do you think there’s a difference between being a feminine wife and a traditional wife?When they fix something around the house or do valuable work then it's easy to forgive them because they show their value. When women show frustration or anger it's less easy to forgive, because the value that a woman brings is so inextricably tied to her demeanour, not what she does physically necessarily. I agree with all your general points but I don't think this is necessarily the reason. Women generally do plenty of physical things that are a huge part of the value they bring to their famil… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/26 02:26 PM |
| 7 | He asked me out to dinner and then we split the billI personally don’t think you should have gone on a drinks only first date; I never go on them since they’re such a low effort, low financial investment from a man. Why should getting to know someone be a financial investment? I know many happily married women who went out for srinks or coffee on a first date, myself included. It worked for us. Personally, I only like to recommend strategies that have worked. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/26 03:19 PM |
| 3 | My husband's flexible job are making me lose attraction and making my life harder, what do you suggest?So he should be ok with leaving his child and traveling for work... because he should think that the father can leave while the mother can't? Why do you want to control so much how much time he wants to spend with his own child? What's your issue with him being there? You can choose to be there too. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/26 06:29 PM |
| 2 | Can The Empowered Wife help this?To answer your question then, it would be a pretty indirect way of fixing the issue but it certainly wouldn't hurt. You could give it a try. There is no easy fix that doesn't involve looking hard and directly at the sex issue though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/26 06:14 PM |
| 3 | Can The Empowered Wife help this?But I feel like when I ask anyone for anything, they don’t actually want to do it because that’s how it feels when I get asked for things. I mean this gently: your husband is right that nothing turns you on, if that is your reaction to him trying to turn you on. You are putting him in an impossible situation. I've had this feeling if "if he wanted to, he would do it without me asking" too. But my husband cannot read my mind, and I do not get to say for him if he "really" wants to do something or… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/05/26 06:29 PM |
| 6 | My husband's flexible job are making me lose attraction and making my life harder, what do you suggest?And makes some comments that indicate complete equality between mother and father. So your real issue is that he doesn't feel inferior to you as a parent? | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/05/26 04:36 PM |
| 3 | Polygamy… 💕💀I'm not clear on what Main Character energy has to do with being the Other Woman. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/04/26 03:09 PM |
| 8 | Trying to discern prudence vs fear in a post divorce leaderThis reads as either some BDSM dynamic (fine if that's your thing, but only works if both parties are healthy and stable) If it were the case, involving the children in some BDSM the-sub-kneels proposal would be sick and inappropriate. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/26 10:42 PM |
| 8 | Trying to discern prudence vs fear in a post divorce leaderThis sounds pretty extreme and fearful. Hierarchy in a relationship can exist, but he's trying to engineer a forced structure instead of "falling" into a structure that is genuine and reflects who you are to each other. But I would also keep in mind that what one says in a private journal can be the reflection of a bad day or a bad train of thought and not the full picture. The thing that seems really worrying here is his thoughts about a potential child - no bad day could justify thinking "the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/26 06:04 PM |
| 5 | Wait for a better environment to date, or try it out here?The infamous social skills of 19 yo engineering students just learning to approach girls 😂 | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/26 06:46 PM |
| 3 | Wait for a better environment to date, or try it out here?But these factors are certainly not equally important for men when evaluating a woman. Male attraction is more like 80% physical attractiveness, 10% personality, 5% intelligence, and 5% education/success. [...] The reality of the situation is a woman having high standards is unmerited if those high standards are based on her own success. If she has high standards because she is very physically attractive, so be it. Sure. That's why the average looking successful doctor usually marries a very hot… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/26 02:57 PM |
| 3 | What do you all think about very short/naked clothes?It sounds like you went from one extreme to the other. It can happen when rejecting some previous views that you no longer align with, but finding some middle ground is generally good, I agree. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/02/26 03:25 PM |
| 5 | What do you all think about very short/naked clothes?Clothes give a message. The important thing is to be aware of what message you are giving and to keep it context appropriate. There is no "everyone should be able to wear anything without judgement" - you don't show up at the office as if you're going to a wedding or to the beach. The same applies to wearing revealing clothes. Choose when and where - which is going to be cultural and context specific, and I mean no value judgement here. Know that clothes - any clothes you wear - will give an imp… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/02/26 03:05 PM |
| 1 | Did your man want an independent woman or did he want to be needed?You can talk to me directly, you know. I don't bite. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/26 01:14 AM |
| 0 | Did your man want an independent woman or did he want to be needed?The difference being this is your fiance and not someone you just met. "I want someone else to push me to take care of my responsibilities" is not a good first impression and not something that should be asked of a new boyfriend. I would not tell a woman that she should submit to her new boyfriend - I'd tell her to run from any new boyfriend that expects it. In the same way, I would not tell a man that he should take responsibility for a new girlfriend's life, I'd tell him to look for a woman wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/26 08:13 PM |
| 2 | Did your man want an independent woman or did he want to be needed?Oh I hadn't seen the edit. That was fun. I would argue that giving up power means acquiring a different set of responsibilities, but that's maybe a discussion for a different thread. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/02/26 02:06 PM |
| – | Is this against EqualityTry BDSMadvice. It's a space specifically for questions, and more aligned with your values. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/02/26 11:50 AM |
| – | Is this against EqualityFirst step to be a feminist would be respecting a women's space that has clearly defined rules for what kind of male participation is allowed. Second step would be to allow your girlfriend - presumably a free, independent woman - the ability to consent to sex however she likes it. Rough sex is not an injustice, and the only opinion that you should care about is hers. Even if you got the whole internet to tell you "the way you have sex is wrong" - so what? Does the internet's opinion take away he… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/02/26 11:10 AM |
| 3 | Did your man want an independent woman or did he want to be needed?Again all the men that have been in love with me have been eager to do anything and everything for me. And yet, in other subreddits you say you never had the kind of relationship dynamic you seek. So, you either attracted men who were seeking something different than what you wanted, or didn't select those men who were looking for the same thing. Something needs trouble shooting here. And yes, something must be in for a man to want that kind of relationship dynamic, because it's an awful lot of … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/02/26 12:59 AM |
| 4 | Did your man want an independent woman or did he want to be needed?push me to do the necessary things I am reluctant to do ... If I am in a conflict with a mechanic he would call over and settle it. This sounds more like what a parent would do for a teenage daughter. What's in it for him? What's attractive about having to push an adult to do the things she needs for her own benefit? What does he gain from taking on all these problems? "Leaning on him" almost sounds like an excuse to abdicate from adult responsibilities and have someone else deal with the hard t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/02/26 12:20 AM |
| 4 | Did your man want an independent woman or did he want to be needed?I just want a man who treats my problems as his own. That won't happen after the first date, but once feelings develop, which in my life was always fast, (and they lasted for years so fast does not mean fake as many believe) I expect to be able to lean on him. How does that look like, in real life? What does it mean for him to treat your problems as his own and for you to lean on him? I would be wary of making this the main focus of the relationship dynamic. From the man's POV, it seems he is on… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/26 11:34 PM |
| 18 | At what age do you think a woman’s “sexual market value” is highest and why?An 18 year old's fertility is higher than 23 but not her attractiveness. Debatable. Fertility (as in both chances of pregnancy and chances of a live birth) actually goes up in the early 20s and remains stable til late 20s. Miscarriage and health issues risk are actually higher in the late teens. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/26 10:45 PM |
| 6 | Did your man want an independent woman or did he want to be needed?you can rely on your partner for all kinds of support and not need to be so independent. Maybe it is, but you get there gradually. You can't need or rely on a new boyfriend that way. A partner is not a crutch. I know my husband specifically wanted a woman who could stand on her own - who chose to be with him because it made her "already good" life better, not because she needed him to live a good life. Same went for me. I would separate the "finding a man you can lean on" issue from the "finding… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/26 10:37 PM |
| 2 | Resting in femininityI do try my best, but I accept that my best is going to look different from day to day, and keeping my own needs/stress/energy levels in mind is top on the list of what that "best" means. At this point I can gauge pretty well what would be worth the extra effort and what my husband would rather have me leave aside. My most hated chore is dishes and he really dislikes coming home to dirty dishes in the sink, for example, so I know I might need to be more mindful of that. But if some day I don't g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/26 03:08 PM |
| 2 | Resting in femininityI tried for a long time to have the perfect picture when he got home. House clean and tidy, food on the table, pretty wife and kid. I was putting a lot of pressure in myself to attain something he didn't really care about. Eventually he told me he'd rather come home to a messy house and a happy wife, than to a perfect home and a frazzled wife. He doesn't really need time to decompress when he come home either, and would rather be with me. So, now I leave the house in whatever precarious state it… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/02/26 09:36 AM |
| 6 | Marriage ImprovementsSelf care helps me stop resentment from building. If I'm stressed or overwhelmed, it's up to me to find a solution and ask for what I need. My happiness is not my husband's responsibility. Letting go of some hyper controlling tendencies helps my anxiety immensely. I can better gauge when I need to shut up about some nonconsequential issue vs when to speak up about something important, and how to do so in a way that my husband can really hear. I know sometimes my "helpful" suggestions can be perc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/26 09:01 PM |
| 3 | I’m with a good man, i’m near the wall, but he wants to continue living in the state we relocated to and it’s nearly unbearable for me. To stay and be tolerably unhappy, or go and find a man who isn’t so passive?You clearly don't like being with him. You say he has plans to propose but would you even want to be his wife? It sounds like you are only staying because you already invested so long in this relationship. It is true that time is your most valuable resource. No amount of time will change this man into someone you like more, though, so before you spend more years with him you have to know - do you want him? Can you accept him as he is? Will you be here in another 10 years with the same doubts? Be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/02/26 06:40 PM |
| 9 | I’m with a good man, i’m near the wall, but he wants to continue living in the state we relocated to and it’s nearly unbearable for me. To stay and be tolerably unhappy, or go and find a man who isn’t so passive?What kept you with him for 10 years? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/02/26 04:39 PM |
| 13 | Am I asking for too much? Sweet guy but gives uncertainty.With my husband I was a damsel in distress early on and had him paying all my bills week 1. When vetting, consider also why a man would start paying all your bills from week 1, and if using/withholding intimacy to get financial support is the kind of relationship you want. I slept with my husband on date 1. I didn't need to use sex to pay my bills. Apparently it was good enough for him to keep me around and keep taking care of me? | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/26 08:49 PM |
| 8 | Wealthy man with different valuesHe’s richest man I’ve ever entertained romantically, and that’s mostly because I’ve always prioritized looks. My first husband might’ve been broke, but he looked like an underwear model. Maybe there are other things to prioritize for a happy lasting marriage, not just wealth or looks? | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/26 11:07 PM |
| 11 | Wealthy man with different valuesIt sounds like you'd drop this man if he wasn't this wealthy. So, it depends on what you are looking for in marriage and what would make a man marriage material for you. Incidentally, are you marriage material for him? Is he looking for the same things? | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/26 11:05 PM |
| 5 | Wealthy man with different valuesWhat's your long term goal here? | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/26 09:48 PM |
| 1 | I've been doing lots of reflections and noticing that some of the men (M30s) I (F25) date come on super super strong early on then they immediately pull back and I'm trying to understand what I'm doing wrong?I'm saying take the men who text you when they want to text you and meet you when they want to meet you. If they come off as desperate or if they would rather keep sending reels instead of meeting you, that's an answer already. "Only ever give back 2/3 of what she gives you" is icky for the same reason "be over eager via text and beg for her attention, you'll get it" is icky. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/26 05:54 PM |
| 0 | I've been doing lots of reflections and noticing that some of the men (M30s) I (F25) date come on super super strong early on then they immediately pull back and I'm trying to understand what I'm doing wrong?There's men who text when they want to text, while genuinely not being obsessed over some woman they just met, or genuinely wanting to move things to in-person. And there's "She texted me three times, I'll text back only twice so my value will increase in her eyes" men. That's... unimpressive. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/26 05:22 PM |
| 1 | I've been doing lots of reflections and noticing that some of the men (M30s) I (F25) date come on super super strong early on then they immediately pull back and I'm trying to understand what I'm doing wrong?5. Adhere to the golden ratio. Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. This is so fun to me. It is basically saying "your whole behavior should depend on and respond to hers". I think someone, somewhere, said something about frame... but it feels so vintage to bring it up now. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/26 04:36 PM |
| 5 | What I’ve Learned About “Self-care” in the first 3 Months of MarriageI feel like it’s definitely in our nature as women to lean toward the obsessive side of things while our husbands are just totally confused about what the hell we are thinking What, so it's everyone else too? 😂 | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/01/26 06:05 PM |
| 4 | Do you think someone can be into things like boot licking / shoe worship without being submissive?How did you meet this guy and how well do you know him? This does not seem a regular "getting to know each other" topic. Was this on a kinky platform maybe? These are obviously submissive acts. He could be a switch, or he could be a submissive man who's telling you what you want to hear about dominant acts to keep you interested. No way to know, and I wouldn't fuck around to find out. If it's a turn off, it's a turn off. And it can be a turn off to know that he likes that, even if he never engag… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/01/26 01:20 PM |
| 6 | What dating platform would ypu suggest for finding a traditional conservative man?Not Berlin for sure 😂 You just meet people and screen them to find those who share your values. (Well, maybe don't go to the local LGTB youth group to find them.) Are you religious? Going to Hochschule? Most traditional couples I know met at university or at some church group. A lot of engineer guys, for some reason, but maybe because thete's just a lot of engineer guys around. Look for the Studierendegemeinde of your university, we joked that it was a dating platform. They have tons of meetings… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/01/26 12:50 PM |
| 3 | Dealing with my husbands new panty rules and looking for adviceThis is Reddit. You write things, people read and can choose to reply. If you want a private conversation, I suggest a private chat. Crazy... I don't think you understand the nuance of kink that is, by definition, socially unacceptable. I ride a bike with my husband for fun, and sometimes I think to myself that that is crazy. I get tied up and beaten bloody for fun too. If I stop to think about it, it sounds crazy. It does not make it any less fun, or consensual. What OP is describing is a very … | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/12/25 10:13 PM |
| 5 | Dealing with my husbands new panty rules and looking for adviceOP seems to be confused, and says herself she thinks this is weird. No, OP says that she feels seen and cared for in a weird way, and that this is their little secret that no one else would understand but she's okay with. It's called subtext. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/12/25 10:35 AM |
| 8 | Dealing with my husbands new panty rules and looking for adviceYou're right that this would be controlling and abusive, if OP was forced into it. She was not. She clearly consented to it and enjoys this level of control. The issue with kink is often not that "alarm bells are ringing", but that by definition it goes against societal norms and expectations. It takes a while to learn to be ok with what you like/need, when everyone else would tell you that it's crazy. It seems that this is the dissonance OP is experiencing. Kink can look like abuse. The differe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/12/25 01:02 PM |
| 4 | Dealing with my husbands new panty rules and looking for adviceYes, sometimes they have an end result in mind but don't really know how to get there. You have relevant info to offer here :P I'd show him the options that aren't working too. Have fun. The secret can be fun too. Don't worry so much about what the world would or would not understand. It's your underwear and your fucking business. (Sent you a DM with some more thoughts :) ) | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/25 05:52 PM |
| 8 | Dealing with my husbands new panty rules and looking for adviceI also find the fact that he's dictating what kind of underwear you can/can't wear highly unusual. It's an unusual dynamic but OP and her husband can have the dynamic they want. It's clear she enjoys this level of control and that's a valid option. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/25 05:35 PM |
| 9 | Dealing with my husbands new panty rules and looking for adviceThe seamless briefs are probably your best bet. It sounds like he made a list of requirements without really thinking things through - understandable if he doesn't regularly wear women's underwear... 🙃 you can get a few different options, try them with him, give feedback on what's comfortable, and then he can make the final choice. My whole wardrobe is approved by my husband and that's how we normally do it. Showing him various options at the same time makes it go smoother. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/25 03:54 PM |
| 35 | Dealing with my husbands new panty rules and looking for adviceYes it is controlling, and you're still allowed to like that it is. But this would probably be best directed at a specifically D/s crowd or in a BDSM subs subreddit. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/25 03:20 PM |
| 21 | How do you accept no physical contact before marriage when everything else feels right?Do you two share religious beliefs? | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/25 11:32 AM |
| 11 | Am I wrong for seeing a male provider behind my partners back?You are ultimately responsible for your health. Your partner isn't. If you choose to see a male doctor, that is your choice. Your partner can feel however he feels about it... still your choice. This is factual and not a value judgement. On the medical side: Your doctor likely does not think anything of the uterine manipulator and that is why he hasn't mentioned it. It is hardly relevant to your issue of seeing a male doctor behind your partner's back. Regarding the uterine manipulator, yes, tha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/25 04:00 AM |
| 3 | F (25) another rantBased on this, what would be your advice to us people on RPW? | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/25 05:42 PM |
| 5 | F (25) another rantIf someone wanted to have a different trajectory in their professional life, and ended up in SW, and have come to accept it as their main source of income for as long as the industry will have them, then it is empowerment. Define "empowerment"? | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/25 05:36 PM |
| 5 | Boyfriend won’t cook and there’s no food in his house eitherMy technique so far has been to go grocery shopping together, buy food, and cook it together so I can teach him. This is your goal but is it his goal? You can't decide for him that he's going to learn how to cook. Not knowing how to cook is not a fault per se, it's just lacking a skill. His complete disinterest in learning to feed himself or even having food available for you... well. That's lack of will. You are not being unreasonable. You are simply expecting to date an adult. So... now what? | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/25 08:47 PM |
| 7 | Boyfriend won’t cook and there’s no food in his house eitherHe has survived 27 years without knowing how to cook. While his meals might not promote optimal health, they have worked well enough for him so far that he has no reason to learn. Since he's only been living on his own for five months and his mom is still bringing him food, it sounds like what worked was having his meals cooked for him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/25 08:40 PM |
| 1 | What to say to my feminist roommate who is misandryst to my boyfriend[ Removed by Reddit ] | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/25 07:05 PM |
| 25 | Is it insecure to dress for my boyfriend or ask him to pick out my clothing, what to buy?Yes, you are validation seeking... because that validation from him feels good. It's ok for it to feel good. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/12/25 09:20 PM |
| 11 | Field Report: Greeting My Husband At the Door After WorkMen and these younger women...! | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/11/25 04:54 PM |
| 40 | Field Report: Greeting My Husband At the Door After WorkOh, this is lovely. I used to run and leap into his arms to be picked up, but now the romance has died and he complains about his back hurting. I regularly lose against a girl who is younger, lighter, and yells "Daddy!" while she toddles towards him. Life is unfair. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/25 06:41 PM |
| 3 | Has any Bdsm-oriented ladies met their man on Feeld?I meant date in vanilla settings. Friends, social circle, online dating... you date, see if there's chemistry, get a feel if you might share inclinations, and then you talk about it. Are you dating and finding men but not men who wants the same things? Is this why you want to try Feeld? | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/11/25 07:17 AM |
| 3 | Has any Bdsm-oriented ladies met their man on Feeld?I don't think it's the right place to look for a committed monogamous relationship. Most women I know had better luck dating traditionally and screening for men interested in the same things. You bring it up after a few dates, so you've got a feel for the person and know you're interested, but no one gets hurt if you're not looking for the same things. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 12:12 PM |
| 3 | How I (M33) can best support my gf (F26) through workplace harassmentPeople only treat you as you let yourself be treated. I've dealt with harassment in the same industry. I gave a firm reaction, reported it to the appropriate people when it was necessary, and refused to be alone with a particular guy. In this day and age, no, it's not just part of the job, and reacting appropriately is unlikely to have a negative impact on her. It sounds like she needs some encouragement and reassurance that yes, it's ok to react firmly. It also sounds like you need some reassur… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 11:39 AM |
| 19 | Male “feminists”If they reject double standards and normative gender roles, then of course it follows that men shouldn't be expected to pay just because they're men. Yes, I'd be unhappy too if I went out with a woman who proclaimed to reject all that, but still expected all men to adhere to the double standards that benefit her. Women as a category are not any more or less happy for having dinner paid, and men are not automatically the bad guys for not wanting to pay, or for pointing out the hypocrisy of some p… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/25 10:54 AM |
| 4 | Husband is very deeply involved with crypto and it feels like a strain on the relationshipI was writing a whole comment about the difference between a wife and "various girlfriends", but now it would look bad to gang up on you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/11/25 02:02 PM |
| 9 | What do men mean when they want someone with passions?they generally give zero fucks about a woman’s career, but are enamored by our connection to our emotional, passionate selves, when it’s expressed in healthy ways. This is an interesting perspective. What about women who are passionate about their careers? (The field and the day-to-day job, I mean, not career in the "climbing the ladder" sense) | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/11/25 02:57 PM |
| 42 | What do men mean when they want someone with passions?They don’t care about what she wants to do with her life, if anything. They do care, if they're looking for a partner for life. Unless they're stupid. Don't choose stupid men. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/11/25 02:54 PM |
| 6 | 6 Things I've Learned in 6 Years of MarriageI have nothing smart to add but Congratulations Jen! 🥳 | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/11/25 05:14 PM |
| 3 | Man I’m talking to says he picks personality over looks for me.I'd consider "good personality" as "someone he likes to be around and talk to", and yes, that's definitely a priority (which does not negate that multiple things can be important at once, a certain level of physical attraction included). | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/11/25 10:01 AM |
| 4 | Man I’m talking to says he picks personality over looks for me.And you wouldn't say that personality is a high priority for men when looking for a long term relationship/marriage? We're talking RMV here, not SMV. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/10/25 03:55 PM |
| 39 | Man I’m talking to says he picks personality over looks for me.Play stupid games... If a man you just met on an app says you're just perfect, exactly his type, you can be sure he says that to everyone. This man might be a clumsy idiot but he sounds well meaning. His mistake was trusting that you wanted the blunt truth when you asked for the truth. We need more context. How long have you been talking? Have you met IRL yet? How were the dates so far? | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/10/25 07:14 AM |
| 8 | Man I’m talking to says he picks personality over looks for me.I'm curious. Are you married? | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/10/25 07:07 AM |
| 5 | Lonely hate my aging appearanceThey "overlooked it" to get the company of a young pretty woman. For one reason or another, that did not equal marriage for them. A man will easily find you sexually attractive, but will not as easily want a committed relationship with you. The things that make you worthy - in his eyes not yours - of a committed relationship are different than just "young pretty girl", and right now you have a lot of issues that would outright disqualify you for many men. The men who would accept your current is… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/10/25 08:50 AM |
| 40 | Lonely hate my aging appearanceI mean this kindly: Aging is not the reason you can't find a good partner. Depression, anxiety, addiction and self-hate will work against you much more than a few wrinkles and gray hairs will. If you want to form and keep good relationships, those are the issues you need to solve, or keep under control. Age comes for everyone (if they are lucky). Men view more favorably and treat you better when they love you. Become someone who can be a good partner, first. Read this. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/10/25 09:17 PM |
| 4 | Husband wants to quit his jobHowever, I can tell it’s starting to build resentment that he can’t quit his job because of me. No. He can't quit his job because he is an adult with adult responsibilities and a child on their way. Stop feeling guilty. This is not on you. It's good you want to support him but support =/= mean putting your health and your family's future on the line for a foolish dream. You're a team - you keep the goal in mind and work together. A great benefit of having someone else to rely on is that it helps… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/10/25 09:36 AM |
| 10 | Feeling an indescribable grief for never going to be a homemaker (F25 with M31 fiancé)In a way, he's guiding me down a "smarter" path, and maybe I'll thank him for it someday. But emotionally, I feel like I'm dying inside. Do not follow a man down a path that you do not want for yourself. And if you cannot follow a man, do not marry him. It means you cannot trust him - with your wellbeing, your future, your family - and without that underlying trust, everything else is bound to crumble. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/25 07:24 PM |
| 3 | AITA for wanting to leave my Bf after he said " You are just like a man"Sending you to the ER, threatening to kill you multiple times, and setting himself on fire in front of you are not "slips and mistakes". For fuck's sake. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/10/25 11:52 AM |
| 2 | What are your thoughts on Orion Taraban’s teachings?Never heard of this guy. What kind of things is your boyfriend saying? | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/10/25 08:15 PM |
| 3 | Interactions with feminist womenJust curious: What kind of things do you avoid bringing up? | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/10/25 05:06 AM |
| 8 | How to get my boyfriend to invest?My thing is, I don't know how exactly to make him more consistently feel like I'm a good woman (I think, being autistic, I inevitably do things that accidentally are icks or turn offs or Idk), how to increase trust, how to decrease overwhelm for him, and to get him to genuinely start investing in me more, whether emotionally or materially. You don't, because it's not a problem you are causing, so it's not a problem you can fix. Everyone does things that are accidentally an ick or a turn off. Eve… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/10/25 08:45 AM |
| 5 | Boyfriend had a bad day, how can I help? I’m away on vacation.This is very sweet. If he had a bad day, you know better than us what would cheer him up. When I was in a LDR we'd sometimes get coffee or ice cream delivered. You could send him flowers too for a laugh. Eat together or watch the same movie in front of Skype (well, this was some time ago when Skype was still a thing...). Don't over do it, just a small gesture from time to time to show you're thinking of him. And if knowing him, he says/hints that to feel better he just needs some time alone with… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/10/25 12:22 PM |
| 12 | Should I leave my marriage over this?I’ve told him this multiple times. That I want / need him to be less comfortable. You want, want, want, but have you stopped a second to ask him what he wants and needs? For his life, for his peace and happiness, for a shared happy future. Furthermore I’ll occasionally catch him wasting time during work hours and it triggers me immensely. You are not his mother or his boss to "catch him". Manage your own triggers. This "triggers" nothing if not your superiority complex and entitlement. You have … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/25 05:11 PM |
| 3 | Would you show up?Own your choices. You didn't "unfortunately give in". You had sex. If you want to have sex with him again, have it. There's no sense in pulling back now. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/10/25 04:24 PM |
| 3 | New To RPW - Seeking Advice, Tips and Resources on Vetting"Even when dating in a niche, good sex is not worth being miserable. And after a while the misery spoils the sex too." I noticed you didn't dispute that you are miserable. So, if I may ask you bluntly... are you? I am more used to guys who are more open to input, etc. it’s not that he’s not open to input but not to the degree I’m used to. He prefers a quieter, more submissive woman who wants to be led by her man, etc. which is tough for a creative, resourceful, over thinker like me. It's clear h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/10/25 07:22 AM |
| 3 | New To RPW - Seeking Advice, Tips and Resources on VettingI do not know what niche needs and desires you have, but "faithful" (using whatever definition you two agree on) is the bare minimum, and "sensual and romantic" is not particularly restricting either. Even when dating in a niche, good sex is not worth being miserable. And after a while the misery spoils the sex too. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/10/25 09:23 PM |
| 4 | New To RPW - Seeking Advice, Tips and Resources on Vetting15 months is a very short time for so much drama and needing to "make it work". I understand feeling relief at the thought that you are not chained to this man and can still choose to say no. I don't understand why you are considering signing up for a lifetime of this. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/10/25 06:54 PM |
| 10 | New To RPW - Seeking Advice, Tips and Resources on Vettingwhat I may have done right or wrong or missed during the initial stages of my current relationship and to learn better for if there is a next time. I'm of the (maybe harsh) opinion that you are vetting until you are married. Vetting ends when you pick up the pen and sign the marriage certificate. Until a second before that, you can still look at that man and think "You know what? No." If you're thinking "she's crazy, why would I even consider that he's not the right man after getting engaged", i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/10/25 11:26 AM |
| 2 | Boys Sowing Wild Oats vs. Girls Staying PureThank you for your reply. You have articulated the issue very well and I'm not sure I have anything intelligent to add :) Many women who remain virgins have very strong values surrounding marriage and so a lackluster sexual life, while painful, might not end the marriage. You are right. I do not think that marriage can truly be fulfilling without a fulfilling sex life, and the risk of losing attraction for each other is real. We go back to pre vs post commitment risk, and finding ways to reduce … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/25 06:15 AM |
| 2 | Boys Sowing Wild Oats vs. Girls Staying PureThe Germans always seem to have very specific words for things, in particular, it seems to me, they have a word for every kind of sadness. Stimmt :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/25 09:19 PM |
| 3 | Boys Sowing Wild Oats vs. Girls Staying PureI checked. Apparently, the difference applies to men too, even more than to women. For women, surprisingly, the "number" that correlated more with lower marital happiness was 6-10 partners, while 10+ and 20+ showed about the same happiness as lower n-counts. The other n-count factor that showed a correlation with marital happiness was a difference in n-count between partners. So if we want to pluck random statistics and fail to mention that correlation does not imply causation, we should be enco… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/25 03:50 PM |
| 2 | Boys Sowing Wild Oats vs. Girls Staying PureShe can, but there is a trend where marital happiness and bodycount are inversely proportional. I seem to recall this was valid for both men AND women? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/25 01:32 PM |
| 3 | Boys Sowing Wild Oats vs. Girls Staying PureThis is a very interesting perspective. I tend to think keeping a low n-count - not for the n-count per se but as a result of being selective - is probably the best strategy in today's world. Or at least finitely have sex with the man you intend to marry, before marriage. This of course is a disappointment to women who find themselves in this situation. Do you think there's a way to reduce this risk? Or to deal with it if it happens? | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/25 09:19 PM |
| 4 | Boys Sowing Wild Oats vs. Girls Staying PureNote that I specifically talked about "men who are with you mainly because you are "pure" " or who fall for the "why buy the cow" idea. Other men might have preferences about their partner's sexual history for other reasons, without making "purity" the holy grail of femininity, and I specifically said that men are allowed their preferences. I do not really see a non-religious, experienced man waiting around for years (because that's the common timeframe outside of hyper religious communities) wi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/25 06:35 PM |
| 8 | Boys Sowing Wild Oats vs. Girls Staying PureThis is a "Yes, and": Still barring religious reasons that would make a man independently committed to sexual purity... If you choose a man who is with you mainly because you are "pure", you choose a man who doesn't find any value in whatever else you have to offer. You are not "high value" to him. You are replaceable with the next hymen that walks by. (Of course, this requires you to have something else to offer in the first place, and it does not mean men aren't allowed their preferences) If y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/25 04:23 PM |
| 10 | Boys Sowing Wild Oats vs. Girls Staying PureIf you think of yourself as candy, you'll only get man who see you as candy. So much for "his wife and mother of his children". | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/25 04:09 PM |
| 17 | Boys Sowing Wild Oats vs. Girls Staying PureRedpill is not a lifestyle. It is a toolbox. Sexual strategies. You decide what your longterm goal is, what kind of man you want, and base your strategy on that. An "alpha", or an attractive masculine man with leadership qualities, is hardly going to wait around for sex unless he has religious reasons to do so. I'd expect a religious man to have moral objections to sleeping around himself. If he is claiming a moral objection to women having premarital sex, but is not sexually pure himself, then … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/10/25 03:49 PM |
| 2 | Nietzsche's advice for women in Thus Spoke ZarathustraThank you for the exchange then :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/25 03:42 PM |
| 1 | Nietzsche's advice for women in Thus Spoke ZarathustraIt also touches on the need for play between the sexes, which I think is underrated. I agree and disagree. Playfulness, yes. But the playfulness of discovering each other's "inner child" is mutual and active. It is the meeting of two people at their most joyful, genuine and free - which is part of the essence of true intimacy. It is fundamentally different than becoming a plaything, a toy, representing something idealized and aspirational. This: Let woman be a plaything, pure and fine like a gem… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/25 09:46 AM |
| 3 | Nietzsche's advice for women in Thus Spoke ZarathustraI think it's possible for my quoted passages to be true, and also for Nietzsche to intend for women to live full and well-rounded lives. I do not know if Nietzsche intended that. As in, really do not know, could be anything. This specific piece of writing - if we are to take it at face value - does not strike me as a particularly deep understanding of women. The "now, let's talk about women! And the whole discourse will revolve entirely about how women are tied to men, as seen through a man's ey… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/25 08:44 PM |
| 6 | Nietzsche's advice for women in Thus Spoke ZarathustraI kinda feel I was made to live my life? Maybe I'm an atypical woman. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/25 06:58 PM |
| 4 | Nietzsche's advice for women in Thus Spoke ZarathustraJust for the record, I won't take offense even if you disagree not-kindly :P we are here to discuss. I appreciate that. So, would you say this speech intends to portray Nietzsche's true view and he wanted it to be taken as advice? Or is it in "Zarathustra is a ridicolous man who doesn't know what he's talking about" territory? Are women supposed to be fixed and confined in this nature, or given the general themes, are they supposed to grow beyond it into something else? And what do we make of th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/25 06:52 PM |
| 11 | Nietzsche's advice for women in Thus Spoke ZarathustraI do not have enough philosophical knowledge to discuss how all this fits into the broader picture of Nietzsche's philosophy, what Nietzsche thought vs what Zarathustra says, if what Zarathustra says is to be taken at face value and how it evolves throughout the book. I am not going to touch any of that. I am aware of my limits. But allow me to light heartedly say that this: The happiness of man is 'I will.' The happiness of woman is 'He wills.' 'Behold, just now the world became perfect!' spoke… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/10/25 04:55 PM |
| 2 | Field report: When you don't vet well enoughSounds like a lovely match. Good luck! | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/10/25 05:41 AM |
| 15 | Field report: When you don't vet well enoughThank you for sharing. Good for you that you distanced yourself from that. I am, as I write this, in a yielding, waiting-for-his-cues place because I trust this new man to do what is right for both of us. Do I know him nearly as well as I could? Not at all. Do I want to? Yes, at a sane pace, and I believe that he understands how to do that. This gives me pause. He cannot know what is best for both of you because he does not know you well enough (yet). He cannot make decisions with the team's wel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/09/25 07:53 PM |
| 5 | Finding beauty (or, put on his love goggles for a minute)Ooof. Sometimes they are just clueless aren't they. It probably didn't even cross his mind that his comment might be hurtul for you, because your value to him wasn't diminished one bit by time and life together. It's his children you carried. That counts as invaluable in my book, and you are irreplaceable to your family. ...but also if you want to dig a grave I'll send you a shovel :P | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/25 07:42 AM |
| 3 | Finding beauty (or, put on his love goggles for a minute)It is so so foreign at first. Then you grow into it until your skin is your own skin again. Or at least it was that way for me... it did take a few 40 minutes showers and bubble baths. Enjoy your self care :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/25 07:37 AM |
| 7 | Pregnant/morning sickness - nausea + cookingUgh. My sympathies. I never really found a way around it except cooking extremely bland food that didn't smell. Plain rice with a side of plain rice. Does he want you to do anything more? Ask him what he needs from you and, if the answer is "nothing, just rest", try to accept it. Express appreciation. You might feel it isn't enough but if he thinks it's enough, well - his opinion is the one that matters. You might like this older post: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9jxs1c/first_… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/09/25 09:09 AM |
| 6 | He's missing the chivalry basicsIt sounds like you're saying he's not a real man if he doesn't open the car door for her? | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/25 05:32 PM |
| 15 | Complicated situation — was it cheating if we weren’t official, and is there any path to trust?You've had this craziness going on for more than a year and without ever getting into a relationship, he already lied to you about having sex with other people. You do not START a relationship by needing him to regain your trust. "Was it cheating?" just misses the point and the long list of issues. Can you trust him? No. That's the point. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/25 04:00 PM |
| – | What are reasonable expectations on parenting and chores with a baby?The recommendation to avoid screens under 2 is pretty universal but it also doesn't mean TV shouldn't exist in a home. It doesn't mean you can never watch TV while holding your child. It also doesn't mean it's your place to judge whether your husband is fit enough to be left alone with his own child based on his screentime habits. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/25 03:34 PM |
| 2 | What are reasonable expectations on parenting and chores with a baby?I am from Europe and you are massively, massively exaggerating. Putting an 8 mo in front of the tv for a couple of hours is NOT considered like leaving an 8 mo home alone... and even if it were, every parent is still personally responsible to filter out the idiocy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/25 02:48 PM |
| 6 | What are reasonable expectations on parenting and chores with a baby?That sounds very hard. Some quick thoughts: He tried hiring cleaners before we met, but he said they didn’t meet his standards. Is it an option now, financially? Even if they're not up to his standards. When he gets up for work at 5 a.m., he’s loud enough to wake me, too If he can't get up without waking you up can you sleep in separate rooms? If I leave him alone with our son while I run an errand, he’ll game with the baby on his lap, staring at the screen. That’s not a solution. Why not. His t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/25 03:46 AM |
| 3 | Would you move states for love?It's a stupid move than one would only ever risk for love. The cautious thing would be not to do it, and break off the relationship... but of course people fall in love and do stupid things and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The smart thing when you're doing something stupid for love is to have a plan and manage the risks. I did what you're planning to do and it paid off. I would not encourage anyone to do the same because it's something you should only ever do if you think it's best.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/25 09:42 PM |
| 2 | How can I grow up?should we close our eyes and pretend nothing is going on with our own MOTHER? This is not about you. She's 19, she is an adult, not a kid, she is capable and - hopefully willing - to at least search for a support. How is that valid for a very young adult who is JUST starting her independent life, and not for her mother? The actual adult who was supposed to protect her? I don't know how it works to call for help in the US, but I'm sure there's a place or some kind of institution that helps women … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/09/25 02:25 AM |
| 3 | What to do when the man nagsWell, I do see a positive... he's actually encouraging you to share your own needs and wants with him. So I would maybe go less submissive/agreeable on this, and speak up like he does. I do not mean "criticize like him" but "speak up for yourself when he criticizes". There is no need to justify to him that you're not looking at trash, and no need to sulk. "I need to relax right now." or "Ouch. That was unnecessary." would maybe get a different message across? Sometimes I use "That hurts. I need … | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/09/25 10:22 PM |
| 3 | What to do when the man nagsIt IS natural... and how has he responded? If this is who he is, it's unlikely to fully go away... but I'd be interest to see how he handles the issue. Did he take your view as valid, did he try to find a solution, did he actually work for the solution... | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/09/25 09:37 PM |
| 1 | What to do when the man nagsHow much have you told him of this? Not just "I am upset right now" but how much it's affecting you in general and making you hesitant for your future? And also... how much is it him actually nagging, and how much is it you feeling insecure as a "you" problem? This is a genuine question, and one that I know I am phrasing very badly but I don't know how else to put it. I mean no offense. I hope you get what I mean? | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/09/25 09:07 PM |
| 1 | If you want him to lead, then you need to follow - how?Well this might be RPW (or at least my understanding of it) in a nutshell ❤️ | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/09/25 08:30 PM |
| 5 | How can I grow up?The harsh reality is that plenty of people are getting abused everywhere, all the time. It's not a 19 yo daughter's role to save her mother. In your effort to be sensitive you are actually placing a terrible burden on the real victim who should have been protected. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/09/25 05:48 PM |
| 8 | Broke up with him twice. How do I stay with him?They way you help someone feel safe, heard and understood is to keep him safe, hear him and understand him. It requires a modicum of empathy, respect and love that you, right now, do not have for him. Don't worry about divorce, worry about dating. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/09/25 12:43 PM |
| 11 | Is it possible to ensure sexual compatibility while waiting until marriage?It's harder to vet for sexual compatibility without having sex. Especially if both are inexperienced... you can talk all you want but it's all talking about things you don't really know. A good place to start would be mutual attraction. You should want to have sex with him even if you're waiting. Waiting should be hard, not comfortable. If it's comfortable then you're not attracted to him and marrying someone you're not attracted to is a BAD idea. It will turn sex into a chore really fast. If at… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/25 08:23 PM |
| 2 | If you want him to lead, then you need to follow - how?Lovely perspective! Thank you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/25 05:56 PM |
| 3 | Should I pay for myself?dating strategy for a lasting marriage - and the kind of marriage is entirely undefined - it’s any kind of marriage just one that technically lasts ? is that right? It literally says a happy and lasting relationship. That's an extremely clear goal, but yes, it does require people to think independently about what "happy" would look like for them. There's no one-size-fits-all picture of "happy relationship" that you can expect the Internet to spoonfeed to you. That, for example, is one of the dif… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/25 02:04 PM |
| 2 | If you want him to lead, then you need to follow - how?These are such simple things and yet they set the tone so much! :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/25 01:15 PM |
| 1 | If you want him to lead, then you need to follow - how?Good point! I was just curious what the particular dance was :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/25 11:36 PM |
| 4 | If you want him to lead, then you need to follow - how?and then I don’t do it and we never talk about it again. Then I’m not beating down his idea and coming off as argumentative. Don't pick inconsequential battles. Good strategy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/25 09:02 AM |
| 3 | If you want him to lead, then you need to follow - how?Wow, thank you for this reply. The whole discussion with the other woman actually started with a dance analogy! There is a lead and a follow and both are doing something. It's the difference between being passive and being receptive. If you're too passive on one end, or not receptive enough on the other end, then there is no dance, only two people doing their own thing when they're supposed to do something harmonious together. Being a good follow is hard work! Until you hit that sweet spot where… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/25 08:39 AM |
| 11 | Roast me: Went Off Strategy Dating Younger, Ended Up Burned — What’s the Lesson?There are no "rules". There are risks, rewards, and strategies that will bring you closer to your goal... or not. So first would be deciding what your goal is. Marriage? LTR? A string of relationships with men who spoil you and make you feel good? There is no moral judgement here, I am asking. In any case it sounds like you want exclusivity and a committed (in some way) relationship. If the rule that keeps you from being just a "plate" (oh this feels so vintage) is "Do not date anyone younger th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/08/25 07:40 PM |
| 2 | Advice about my relationship!I feel we are at a pivotal stage of our relationship where we could be thinking about next steps and it’s making me spiral, too much online content and confusing advice. I suggest focusing more on your real life with him and less on the Internet. Really. I'm sorry to say this but there is no point in a relationship where you can say "I need to think our relationship over" and not cause significant damage. His trust and confidence are shaken. Trust can be rebuilt by showing that you are trustwort… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/08/25 04:59 PM |
| 2 | Advice about my relationship!Bad news: there is no such thing as perfection. This applies to him, to you, and to your relationship. Good news: there is no such thing as perfection, and people can be happy regardless.You sound very genuine and open about confronting your own imperfection. This will truly serve you well. But your imperfection will never go away, and neither will his. It sounds like he has a long list of good traits and a few flaws that make you hesitant. In the grand scheme of things, these don't seem to me h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/08/25 03:44 PM |
| 18 | Women who embrace femininity and let men lead seem way happier… coincidence?I tend to see the same BUT: I do not think women can "let" men lead. Women can lean into a supportive/following/receptive role, which is a very different concept. The women who choose a "leader type" man are ALSO the women who would want that supportive role to start with, and who will be more comfortable leaning into it. Because their men can handle the leading role. There's some self-selection here, and self-selection means we can easily mix up correlation with causation. There are also women … | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/08/25 01:53 PM |
| 27 | How to behave during longer stayLet me remind you first that he is not buying milk and you are not a cow. Your goal here is to inspire commitment, foster closeness and keep a happy relationship that progresses in the direction you want. Your job right now is making him think "yep, I want this for the rest of my life." Do you think that suddenly reducing sex will help your relationship get better? That suddenly making breakfast just for you is going to make your boyfriend happier to have you as his girlfriend? What kind of sign… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/08/25 12:24 PM |
| 3 | This sub had a lot more wives posting and the dynamic has shifted.Well, please stick around and add the type of content that you'd like to see! There are many here who feel the same and would enjoy a different kind of discussion. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/08/25 09:16 AM |
| 2 | Field Report: I haven’t been as good a wife as I thought I wasDon't beat yourself up. Consider he might be better equipped to handle that frenetic energy too :) I wouldn't want to turn it into an excuse, but, well, I find that my husband can deal with me much more easily than I could deal with myself. Evidence: he hasn't murdered me yet. You seem someone more prone to guilt and self criticism than excuses, so maybe you could benefit from easing this pressure a bit. He's a man. He can take a dose of crazy woman from time to time. :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/25 04:24 PM |
| 3 | Field Report: I haven’t been as good a wife as I thought I wasu/ArdentBandicoot could we give a star here? :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/25 03:41 PM |
| 24 | Field Report: I haven’t been as good a wife as I thought I wasThis is beautiful. Thanks for sharing. And congrats on your new baby! Sometimes OUR idea of what a "good wife/mother" should do is just another source of stress. It can feel like having to constantly catch up with this good wife who lives in your head, because a good wife would manage to do X Y and Z, and if you don't, then... that means you're a bad wife...? I too have learned that my idea of a good wife is often not my husband's idea. And if I want to be a good wife because he deserves one, be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/25 03:14 PM |
| – | I had a great first date but now it’s a bit odd in way of communicationThe second half of your last paragraph there is probably the most insightful/constructive thing you’ve said this far. Lol. Wish you well. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/08/25 01:33 PM |
| – | I had a great first date but now it’s a bit odd in way of communicationIf you are so sure, why are you asking for opinions? If you are not so sure, why are you doubling down and getting defensive when you get a differing opinion instead of confirmation? If you just need validation to do what you want to do... well, you do not need our approval. You do not need to justify or explain yourself to me. It's your life. I am not generally a fan of early expectations or "fair", and I find that coming into a relationship with the mindset of having to advocate for your needs… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/08/25 01:17 PM |
| – | I had a great first date but now it’s a bit odd in way of communication"You need to reply to my texts sooner." is not a boundary, it's a preference. A boundary would be "I will not go out with someone who does not regularly reply to my texts within X amount of time after our first date." To be frank, I don't think it would be a very smart boundary. I understand you need reassurance, but it's very early to ask for reassurance other than knowing he had a good time and wants to see you again. You don't want to come off as needy, obsessive or high maintenance. Taking h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/08/25 12:52 PM |
| 5 | Step parenting the red pill wayThe first step would be to tell your husband how this is making you feel. Not just the kids being on their ipad (how old are they?) but also him being on his phone, your need for more quiet, feeling like you don't enjoy your own home, step parenting boundaries, etc. Then see what he suggests. Have you communicated all this to him? What was the answer? Feeling like you are "abandoning" them is a "you" issue here. If you'd rather go do something else, then go do it. If you miss time together and c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/08/25 09:11 AM |
| 2 | I wish my boyfriend was more materialistic and willing to provide. Am I just being unreasonable, or are we incompatible for marriage?I am very happy to hear this, and that you had a good conversation with him about the whole financial issue. I hope you two find some common ground that will let you feel safe. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/08/25 07:58 PM |
| 4 | How did you get into a male-led relationship?Good luck then. I heard it's open season for unicorn hunting. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/25 09:30 PM |
| 4 | How did you get into a male-led relationship?You seem unwilling to consider that you might be doing something wrong here. This is all about YOUR demands and none about what a man might possibly want in a partner. But you see, just as they are auditioning for the boyfriend role, you are auditioning for the girlfriend role. It matters ZERO that you have lots of attention from men, if they are not the men YOU want. You are failing to either attract or keep the men who would meet your standards. Which is the issue - attracting, or keeping? And… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/25 08:47 PM |
| 4 | How did you get into a male-led relationship?Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Having to earn a living and all that :) I have thought a little about this post and our other conversation. Some of the things I have to say might sound harsh, but I mean all this in a "drinking tea at the kitchen table" tone, not a "Internet stranger yelling at you" tone. So: there is just no magic formula to get you what you want. No perfect strategy that will attract only the precise kind of man you want. You still have to attract men, vet them, an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/25 04:56 PM |
| 3 | I wish my boyfriend was more materialistic and willing to provide. Am I just being unreasonable, or are we incompatible for marriage?I'm just now managing to get back to you. I have read around this post a bit and it sounds like the issue goes deeper than a birthday gift. I know my initial response was very blunt. While it was definitely meant to call out certain things, it was not meant as an attack against you, as a person. I'm sure you too put a lot of effort into the relationship. A lot of people here have told you "you're right, he's wrong" or "he should do more". And maybe that's what makes you feel better. I believe th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/25 01:05 PM |
| 3 | I wish my boyfriend was more materialistic and willing to provide. Am I just being unreasonable, or are we incompatible for marriage?"Helping her out" by paying for basic living expenses, yes, that's a husband or live-in LTR role. Paying for your own car is just part of being an adult. The attitude of "it's not even that much", while expecting someone else to cover you own personal expense which you can't afford, is particulatly grating. You are asking "what is he offering her" after he fixed the car for her, just because he's not randomly giving her money? I always bristle when men complain about women only caring about thei… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/25 08:23 AM |
| 13 | Realistically, how many men will marry an obese woman?Please, know I mean this very, very gently: Your weight didn't cause your husband's porn addition and low interest in sex with you. So, losing weight won't cure it. There are reasons to leave a marriage, but "I hope to find someone better" isn't one. The decision is whether you'd rather be with your husband, or potentially be alone. We cannot make this decision for you. Just be aware that this is the decision you're making, and not whether you'd be with a different man who loves obese women. I u… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/25 07:56 PM |
| 3 | I wish my boyfriend was more materialistic and willing to provide. Am I just being unreasonable, or are we incompatible for marriage?No, but complaining that her boyfriend - not even a live-in partner, but someone with an entirely different household - wouldn't pay for her broke car because "it was only xx" is. She's not entitled to his money just because he has a lot. You can't simultaneously expect people to give you money you don't have, and say it's not even that much. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/25 04:04 PM |
| 1 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsJust to clarify, when you say you have BDSM desires - are you looking for a relationship that has a "traditional" structure, with the man being "just" the head of the household, and a BDSM bedroom part? Or a relationship where the BDSM power exchange extends beyond the bedroom, where he exerts control/has power in areas one normally wouldn't even in a traditional relationship, and that is where the "traditional" structure comes from? I don't know if I have articulated the distinction clearly, bu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/25 02:28 PM |
| 3 | How did you get into a male-led relationship?(the rest of y'all were cleaning up Europe under our orders while we were taking over international banking ...good times to be us) Can't argue with that 🤣 It's funny how now I see the 50s nostalgia painting everything in this golden light. 10 years ago I saw the 50s screeching hysteria painting all women of a certain era as poor victims who couldn't think for themselves and couldn't possibly be happy (or if they were, they just didn't know any better). I know the latter view still exists, I jus… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/25 12:10 PM |
| 4 | How did you get into a male-led relationship?The fantasy of 1950s America needs to die. Feminism would have been dead in the water if the women were all happy and taken care of and provided for. I'm not even from the US and even in my home country the fantasy of 1950s America is spreading. The real 50s in my family was the battered woman fleeing with the kids to the police when the drunk man came home, and the police telling her "Then go to your neighbor when he drinks". Or the rail thin woman with the hungry kids hiding money away so the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/25 11:46 AM |
| 1 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsWe did not explicitly look to build this precise dynamic and had no idea how deep it would get, but the seed was planted very early. We were friends for years before getting together, so we knew each other well and we could see that the masculine/feminine dynamic was there. Then we had sex on day 0 of the relationship and it spoke for itself. I have thoughts on how to grow into this. I'll reply to your post when I get a little more time! :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/25 11:21 AM |
| 0 | I wish my boyfriend was more materialistic and willing to provide. Am I just being unreasonable, or are we incompatible for marriage?1) No he doesn't. Your relationship fantasies from TikTok don't amount to universal rules. They don't even live together. What kind of nonsense is this. 2) How has this mindset worked out for you to get the marriage you want? And how is this actionable? No amount of "he needs to..." (which only means "I want him to...") will magically get you what you are demanding. 3) It's spelled "are you". | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/08/25 09:07 AM |
| 13 | Do you unmatch if a guy mentions anything sexual during the texting phase when online dating?WHAT There's only two answers to this question: A) Yes unmatch B) YES unmatch | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/08/25 05:39 PM |
| 11 | I wish my boyfriend was more materialistic and willing to provide. Am I just being unreasonable, or are we incompatible for marriage?I hint a lot about wanting jewelry (not even something nice, just $50 earrings or something) I even lost an easily replaceable earring while out with him once, so I assumed he would get me something similar. I’m fine with this, but deep down I want a man who would just insist on buying the parts for his broke girlfriend They were only about $230 You are not necessarily materialistic but you ARE entitled. And ungrateful. He does put effort into fixing things like cars and household appliances, an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/08/25 05:37 PM |
| 1 | Struggling a bit because my BF thinks I'm physically stronger than him and it might be trueOr be honest with yourself, when the outcome is unacceptable. It doesn't matter how good of a husband he'd be, if he'd be a husband you don't want to have sex with. I get that some people go for "not fireworks" for whatever reason, but there's a different between "not fireworks" and Sahara desert. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/08/25 03:22 PM |
| 5 | Struggling a bit because my BF thinks I'm physically stronger than him and it might be trueI'm going to take a guess here. Let me know if I'm too far off. He is smaller than he'd like to be, and than you'd like him to be. You are, and know you are, larger than him and don't feel any physical superiority on his part. This affects his confidence, and your attraction. You have tried to "get over it" but no amount of rationalization will cure lack of attraction. So you tried to "trick" that part of your brain that doesn't respond to rationalization... except he didn't take the challenge, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/08/25 10:00 AM |
| 0 | Having kids has no benefits to womenThank you! Yes I am. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/08/25 07:28 PM |
| 3 | Does he have a crush on me or is he just a gentleman?Girl. Two things: 1) Paragraphs. 2) Yes he likes you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/25 05:06 PM |
| 2 | How do I [30F] tell if my BF [40M] is growing and giving me his best or manipulating me?Of course he does some good things too. If he was only doing horrible things, you'd have left him already. The issue with having a "good things" column and "bad things" column is that it becomes a game of weighing "good vs bad", and you are always, always adding and re-evaluating things, so you never get a clear balance. Focus on two different columns: Needs - Things you CANNOT live without Dealbreakers - Things you CANNOT live with This is the lense through which you can evaluate a relationship… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/25 09:35 PM |
| 2 | Having kids has no benefits to women"Most men suck, so I'll just stay single." actually reads "I wanted a man but I couldn't attract/keep a good one." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/25 01:01 PM |
| 2 | Having kids has no benefits to womenI do not blame anyone. I have enough respect for women that I don't treat them (us) as poor victims with no agency. Taking accountability for one's choices is a form of self respect. If no man you ever meet seems to care about anything more than your looks, A) offer something more, B) choose better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/25 12:44 PM |
| 1 | Receiving gracefullyHowever, you're forgetting how he feels about you, your marriage and how important you are to him. Wow. Thank you :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/25 10:30 AM |
| 7 | Having kids has no benefits to womenNo. Men generally value looks way more than anything else for sexual attraction, and value sexual attraction a great deal when choosing a partner. It's different. What it means: looks get your foot in the door making an effort to stay attractive will, surprise surprise, keep your man attracted a relationship where people are attracted to each other is a happier relationship than otherwise What it doesn't mean: men only care about looks and will pick looks above anything else the only value a man… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 08:08 PM |
| 7 | 27F Dating for a year but no luckI am asking more about how you handle the conversation tbh. I understand being an introvert, but if no conversation ever goes anywhere, there might be something you can change about how you chat. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/25 04:47 PM |
| 3 | 27F Dating for a year but no luckI'd try to understand why the conversations are not going anywhere too. Are the men just too hesitant? Do you come off as not interesting, not interested? Are you maybe weeding out some men who would be interested, based on some non-essential criteria? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/25 04:17 PM |
| 5 | 27F Dating for a year but no luckMen do not talk to me IRL. Asking in a non-confrontational way: why is that? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/25 04:14 PM |
| 9 | 27F Dating for a year but no luckI’m on the dating apps and I get matches, but it’s nearly impossible to get someone’s real personality out of them. Most men I meet have the personality of plain flour. Are we talking about the same men? The men you're chatting with but don't invite you out? If so: yes, it's nearly impossible to get someone's real personality out of a chat in a dating app, and most chats are going to be horribly bland because they have nothing to work with. You won't know who will intellectually stimulate you an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/25 04:08 PM |
| 31 | Having kids has no benefits to womenTo a man the only value a women has is their looks. You will never be as valuable to a man once you have kids and then have the stretch marks, loose skin, aging face from stress, hairloss etc. Sure, if the only valuable thing you have to offer is your looks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 08:56 AM |
| 1 | A Tale of Two FairiesHeck sometimes I don't want to put up with me 🤣 | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/25 07:24 AM |
| 1 | A Tale of Two FairiesAt some point along the line, one needs to realize that for every pet peeve you have about your man, he has one about you. Yes but MY flaws are endearing, HIS flaws are annoying. Isn't that how it works? It took me an embarassingly long time to internalize that, if you want to merge your life with another's, that's just part of the game. So we play. Sometimes you have to throw away his empty bottles and sometimes you stick a cute love note to the cup you left on the kitchen table. 😇 We have a la… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/25 06:52 AM |
| 7 | Am I settling or being greedy?You are asking a man to singlehandedly provide you with a higher-end lifestyle while you both work and have no kids. Realize that no sane man - especially no sane man with options - is going to provide that without getting something substantial in return. What are you offering? | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/08/25 04:16 PM |
| – | Dating in your 20s is impossible if you want true loveI didn't say women can't define what a man is, especially in the context of what attracts them. I said it's not necessarily up to women to define it in general, because I do think men should define what "being men" means to themselves, and not just to appease women. Incidentally, that might end up being what women find attractive. "Women not knowing what they want" is the complain you hear from men when women don't want them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 03:03 PM |
| – | Dating in your 20s is impossible if you want true loveI do not think it's up to women to define what a man is, necessarily. But it IS up to women to define/recognize what attracts them. In this context, masculinity would be opposed to being a boy, not to femininity. Women are not attracted to boys because they want a partner, not a child. I don't think I have to explain why "booo-hooo I want to stay forever a teenage boy with no responsibility and no accountability, and still be attractive to women" is... not the epithome of adulthood. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 02:33 PM |
| – | Dating in your 20s is impossible if you want true loveYes, I admit I am having a bit of fun here. My apologies. I'll leave you to your debate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 02:20 PM |
| – | Dating in your 20s is impossible if you want true loveWomen also want same rights, equality ,same opportunities but they for sure don't want equality in dating And? Do you want equality in dating? Do you want a big strong man to come rescue you, let you cry on his shoulder, and fuck you afterwards? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 01:49 PM |
| – | Dating in your 20s is impossible if you want true loveYou misunderstand. Faking masculinity won't make anyone's vagina wet. You can complain that women like to fuck masculine men, or you can accept what inspires women's desire and learn to use it in your favor. Hint: it's not about big flowers and jewelry. Complaining about flowers is just a way to absolve yourself instead of putting in the work to become attractive. You miss being a teenage boy. Women want men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 01:43 PM |
| – | Dating in your 20s is impossible if you want true loveThen if you want to attract women, act masculine and lead. If you want women to find you attractive, you... need to be attractive. As much as we can rationally sympathize with the hardship, we don't consciously decide what's attractive, anymore than you consciously decide what attracts you in women. Acting masculine has nothing to do with buying big flowers though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 01:30 PM |
| 1 | Interesting Thoughts on MarriageI am a fan too. Could you tell? :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/08/25 01:03 PM |
| 9 | pregnant and want to be married.If you trust him completely, then just dump your resentment on him - he will immediately see his role in creating the resentment, and will fix the situation. Don't. It would be so nice for women if it worked like that. But men are not there in a relationship to fix your resentment. Getting resentful about lack of commitment is about the least commitment inspiring move a woman can make. OP doesn't really have much leverage here except her man's desire to make her happy and build a family together… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/08/25 10:37 PM |
| 2 | Interesting Thoughts on Marriageit’s not a safe bet No bet is safe. It's risk and rewards. Being smart about risk management is different than living in fear. You are not refusing to "put emotions over logic", you are just focusing on your emotions and dismissing all arguments for marriage as "romance" and "wanting to feel special". Don't get married if you don't want to. Don't expect women to stay in a relationship structure that's based on a fundamental lack of trust, either. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/08/25 03:43 PM |
| 3 | How do I lighten my husband’s load?It sounds like you're both under a lot of stress and he's maybe taking it out on you as a convenient scapegoat. Have you talked about it when you are both calm and relaxed? Why and how often do these blowouts happen? | /r/RedPillWives | 12/08/25 08:27 AM |
| 9 | Is it cringe or unfeminine to ask a man out, and when you do, what should your expectations be?Suggested reading: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7ad6eb/approaching_men_the_art_of_the_bad_excuse/ I would not do it. Mainly because I, like the extreme majority of women, like to be pursued. Approaching a man for a date because you get a glimpse and he's handsome would feel... almost crass, to me. Too overt. And it wouldn't make me feel good. Make strong eye contact, smile, look downward or to the side. Repeat. He'll get the hint. Eithet he's interested and he works up the cour… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/25 07:11 PM |
| 3 | Interesting Thoughts on MarriageSometimes you have to do what you have to do and that's it. I had small moments of realization along the way... the top of my dresser will never look the same as when I was single. My dinners will never be "eating cheese while I watch Glee" again. My livingroom will never again be decorated by flower pictures in pastel colored frames. There's Bresson photographs on my walls and empty wrappers on my counters and I fold t shirts in his way that doesn't make sense to me. It's all so normal and so d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/25 04:05 PM |
| 21 | Interesting Thoughts on MarriageIt bothers me when people struggling in marriage say they lost their identities and who they were. Duh. It’s like they figured they would get a party, a ring, and piece of paper and they will just go one being who they are. I see why you say that, but I also see why someone might genuinely lose themselves in marriage (though I've mostly heard it about parenthood). Especially if someone didn't have a strong, deeply rooted sense of identity. I see women who want to get married, more than they want… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/08/25 03:58 PM |
| 3 | Keeping the romance alive in marriageIt sounds like you're lacking some passion. No, not every dinner together is a date. A date is a period of time you set aside specifically for the two of you, doing something that draws you closer. What is it that brings you closer? That makes you feel attracted to each other, or laugh together, or say "remember when..."? Or maybe a common project to finish together. Find the shared meaning, and the pure enjoyment of each other. It could be going to the place where you had one of your first date… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/08/25 11:59 PM |
| 3 | Discussion: degrees of submissionThere just isn't a common ground on what *submission " means. It's very personal. True. I like the definition of "male led relationship" because it seems a bit clearer, or at least a more concrete concept. Agree. This is around the time that I stopped testing all his plans. I always followed them prior, but I made sure they were right for me first, usually through questions and disagreement and "did you consider this". I think it's wise to test and make sure the plans are good for you, singular,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/08/25 09:02 PM |
| 5 | Discussion: degrees of submissionPlenty of women submit too much or too early, to a man who is unable or unwilling to lead. Agree, AND: I also think there's a too early to lead. I see a lot of people, especially younger women, desiring to give up wayyyy too much control way too early. He can be a good man and a good leader, but you can't lead someone you don't know. Because a big part of leading in a relationship is considering how your decisions will impact the person following you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/08/25 08:28 PM |
| 5 | Discussion: degrees of submissionOoooh I love this topic. The state of total submission to your partner happens gradually through incremental reciprocation Would you say that total submission is the goal? I'd say the goal is "whatever level feels harmonious for that relationship". "Total" is going to be harmonious for a very small minority of people, I think. Or maybe I have a different definition of total. For my part I like the suggestion that you want to be an agreeable girlfriend and a submissive wife Absolutely agree. Agre… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/08/25 06:15 PM |
| 3 | Question does being red pilled actually make any women happy?Well, this has been very interesting. Thank you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/25 03:27 AM |
| 2 | Question does being red pilled actually make any women happy?Thank you for answering. Do you think he'd describe it the same? You fitting into his life and adapting to his vision of your marriage? I ask because we are somewhat similar, and I have a strong sense of having adapted to him and followed his lead for "how our life looks like", but my husband wouldn't put it that way. Probably because I see first how much I've just went along with him, and he sees first how much he's considered me. But the reality is that if we weren't together, he'd still go on… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/08/25 06:34 PM |
| 10 | Question does being red pilled actually make any women happy?As others have said, RPW don't necessarily want a RP guy. My husband actually teases my for my participation here. He has a very low opinion of TRP, to him it's half BS and half "why does a man need the internet to tell him that". RPW makes me happier because it helps me with my life goals. I wanted a happy marriage with a male-led structure and RPW offered me strategies to get that. It gave me tools to express my needs, make my relationship a soft happy place, build my man up, show respect in a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/08/25 03:19 PM |
| 3 | Question does being red pilled actually make any women happy?And then he married me and turned his marriage into his own vision for life, not mine, not a preachers. I'm interested, because my husband followed a similar trajectory. What do you mean with marriage and "his own vision for life, not yours"? If you want to share, of course. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/08/25 02:46 PM |
| 2 | Discussion: Male Led Relationshipscrying 20 times a day instead of 100 🤣 So you JUST got out of the horribly hard part and want to do that again? Brave, brave woman. /joking We'll see what life has in store. My cousin says "babies come one at a time", and she would know something since she just had her fifth! | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 08:04 PM |
| 2 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsAh, yes. I see why a certain kind of sadist might give off a sleazy vibe. Good for your partners that they trusted their guts and protected themselves. My husband's the "let's have massive amounts together and enjoy ourselves with crystal clear consent" sadist. The crystal clear consent is what makes it enjoyable, even when the fun doesn't look like fun. Sometimes, it's the girl Everyone is their own little world, especially with sexuality. Good kink is collaborative. Thumbs up. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 06:54 PM |
| 3 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsShe's two now! I went from "I want a million kids" to "I think two will be enough, thank you". Husband was never on the million kids camp but chose to bide his time and yes, having a toddler made me come around LOL. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 06:36 PM |
| 1 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsTo me, wanting someone who isn't as into it is a self protective measure (whether she understands this top of mind or not) Do you mean emotionally? That would make sense to me. Physically, I don't agree with the idea that dealing with an actual sadist for impact/pain play requires more trust than doing it with anyone else. A sadist is just someone who enjoys playing with pain, it doesn't make them any more likely to abuse their partner. Obviously a lot of trust is needed regardless, and the more… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 06:02 PM |
| 6 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsDon't worry. You cannot exclude me from this space. I am happy to discuss with you peacefully. "Male led" does not need traditional. If you go back in my post history, I have discussed the non-traditional issue extensively and got very interesting perspectives: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/15176on/nontraditional_women_of_rpw_what_brings_you_here/ Have you read the sidebar? Look up "rpw is not tradcon" (https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/mdr62i/tradcon_is_rpw_but_rpw… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 03:48 PM |
| 5 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsThanks Ark. When this crazy heathen had a baby, your post about marriage and young kids was so appreciated. We're all just living life. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 03:23 PM |
| 7 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsBecause RPW is not about traditional values, but about a way of relating to our men. RPW is for women desiring a male-led relationship, and this is MY male-led relationship. Or, as the sidebar and the very post you're replying to say, What we all share is not a lifestyle, a set of values, or a worldview, but a way of relating to men. I am happy and grateful for this community. You might find that we have much more in common than what you'd expect, in our daily lives and in our relationships - at… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 01:49 PM |
| 2 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsYep, that rings true. Tourists have zero idea the amount of responsibility that the Dom has. "You do whatever he says? What if he wanted you to [insert ridicolous, over the top idea here that would ruin my life]" He wouldn't I can still say no But really, he wouldn't. You take control of another person, you are responsible for them. And you generally want to be happy together so you won't do anything that would jeopardize that. The ironic thing is that pain girls tend to put themselves completel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 06:05 AM |
| 2 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsYes, because you can be generally dominant/assertive/take charge/whatever but still be submissive for the right man. The man is not usually unhappy about it, I've found. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 05:45 AM |
| 4 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsPart of growing up is understanding how our actions and attitude will impact others - and then of course, impact us back. What were the drawbacks? I went of the option of staying disagreeable for the world, and melting into a puddle of "yes honey, whatever you want" for the right man :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/08/25 05:43 AM |
| 3 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsHave fun integrating all of them. I'm not sure I'd call mom mode "dom lite" (edit: I mean for me, you do you) but I think I get what you mean. We were D/s from the start. If I had to pinpoint a specific beginning, probably between the sofa and the bed on our first date :) we slid into it spontaneously and then we discussed the bedroom stuff. When we started to make shared plans for the future, got engaged, lived together, then it organically seeped out of the bedroom because that was already "in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/25 07:16 AM |
| 5 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsIt's interesting that you speak of them as personas. To me, being submissive is an expression of true, deep intimacy, putting all masks down. I've tried playing a bit on the other side and it wasn't unpleasant, but it definitely felt like I was trying on a different persona. I personally couldn't imagine switching regularly in my relationship, but scenes can be a lot of fun I guess :) this is an example of how kink is so deeply personal. It can really be tailored to whatever you want. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 10:58 PM |
| 6 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsAbsolutely agree. This is what works for us. It is one dynamic among millions. It will work differently for different people... it would even work differently for me with a different man, and vice versa. It is built together. One thing I appreciate about D/s is the absolute openness. I am not only free to always speak my mind and tell him what I feel/need/want, I am required to. I want to do what he wants... and a big part of what he wants is to take care of me and make sure we're in a happy, sa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 10:51 PM |
| 2 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsThank you for sharing what you're comfortable sharing! It's very interesting. We're D/s too, but I'm so far down the right side of the slash, it's hard to imagine what switching is like :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 10:13 PM |
| 7 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsThere are women out there who would benefit from putting their food down or whatever more, I just don't consider myself one of them. Agree. I heard a woman say once "I talk of submission to headstrong women. If you're passive, you're going to need a reminder to get up and go! But if you're headstrong, you need a reminder to be softer." But growing up, I was considered very stubborn, headstrong, and quick-tempered. I have to intentionally move away from that. I think some character traits might m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 08:02 PM |
| 4 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsWe're in pretty deep even for the D/s world. Sorry for being so long winded. I find I often have to say a lot just to dispel what people imagine a BDSM relationship looks like. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 07:19 PM |
| 7 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsI do think it's healthy. It's the most harmonious, fulfilling way we could work together, and the only relationship structure I'd ever want. He isn't Dom, so submission has been your choice and not his demand. What do you meam by this? Doms in BDSM relationships do not demand submission, they look for a partner who wants to submit. While he is the dominant side on a D/s relationship, he doesn't call himself a Dom because he tends to reject labels alltogether. What makes it BDSM? BDSM is an umbre… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 05:40 PM |
| 5 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsThis is a lovely answer. A relationship structure that is collaborative, and plays into each partner's strong suits. I wholeheartedly agree on the more disagreeable, less neurotic partner making the better leader. I'm very disagreeable for a woman and I still hope my husbaand will be the one to tell people no lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 04:46 PM |
| 7 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsFair means we are a partnership with joint goals, the main one being a happy healthy family. What makes you think a male led relationship (or a female led one, or in general one where a specific partner takes the lead) doesn't have joint goals? Why do you think a leader would make decisions without considering the health and happiness of their family? Your husband is not god, he’s human who will make mistakes sometimes so blind loyalty on your part is childish, as his wife, you should challenge … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 03:26 PM |
| 5 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsI cannot answer for someone else, but what if being fair or equal wasn't the point? What if being happy together was? A feeling of balance is part of being happy together. But balance does not mean evaluating your whole relationship with a checklist and a scoreboard. Or maybe, from a different perspective: what does fair and equal mean for you? | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 01:38 PM |
| 20 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsBDSM submissive chiming in :) Our dynamic is 24/7 and the authority transfer goes pretty deep. He has final say over our lives and our family. For him, "the buck stops here". I willingly give him authority over me, to make decisions for both of us. The other side of the coin: he makes decisions with both of us in mind. I can be soft and happy, because I am safe and held. I trust him. And I can trust him because he is trustworthy. I can follow him because he knows how to lead and takes responsibi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 09:43 AM |
| 3 | Discussion: Male Led RelationshipsI'm very curious. How does the switching work with him being the ultimate authority in your marriage? Is the D/s more scene based or restricted in its scope? | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/25 08:03 AM |
| 2 | TTC and afraid of gaining weightYou've received very good advice already. I'll add: sometimes things are uncomfortable or hard, but they're still worth it. It's ok to feel uncomfortable or insecure. You just have to live with it for a while. I would not delay TTC for an aesthetic reason. If your weight is a health issue, then yes taking care of it before pregnancy is smart. Otherwise, if you're healthy and just chubbier than you'd like... life plans come before feeling slim for 2 months. Your body and your own perception are g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/08/25 09:54 AM |
| 5 | Getting my man to use sex toys on me when it went horrible the first and last time.Second reply as you edited your comment later to add this. She stated that she can only orgasm using a vibrator or when she's on top, both of which are intense stimulus on the clitoral nerves. Both of which are totally healthy ways of orgasming, and if even "just" being on top is not good enough for you because it's an intense stimulus, then you are just moving the goalpost. It's not even that she shouldn't be using a vibrator, she shouldn't be having an orgasm with an intense stimulation becaus… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/25 04:32 AM |
| 8 | Getting my man to use sex toys on me when it went horrible the first and last time.I am familiar with the anatomy. It's literally my job. A vibrator doesn't prevent engorgement. What you describe CAN happen, as an orgasmic dysfunction, but by no means happens routinely just because a woman seeks external stimulation. Orgasms will feel different at different time and can be reached in different ways and no, nerves do not routinely "get fried". There ARE women who routinely need a sex toy to orgasm and those are usually women who were having trouble orgasming before finding a fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/25 04:17 AM |
| 19 | Getting my man to use sex toys on me when it went horrible the first and last time.I feel selfish for wanting to ask. But I'm really kinky. Like really kinky and he's pretty vanilla. There's a lot in the bedroom that I want that I'm Not getting. Which I get if he's not comfortable. But I'm going to need a little something more. You need to learn about consent. It's not his fault, or a faul at all, that he's not kinky. I would be very wary of bringing up the topic if your stance is all about "I want stuff that I'm not getting" and "like most men, he fucks it up". If that's your… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/25 03:53 AM |
| 6 | Getting my man to use sex toys on me when it went horrible the first and last time.Clitoral orgasms are the fast food of orgasms God forbid women get pleasure from the part of their anatomy specifically dedicated to pleasure. There are so many complex arguments to be made about health and sex and orgasm difficulties... this ain't it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/25 03:34 AM |
| 3 | Getting my man to use sex toys on me when it went horrible the first and last time.Not how bodies work. There ARE cases of overstimulation sending into a negative cycle but you can't just diagnose any woman using a vibrator as having "fried nerves". | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/25 03:15 AM |
| 3 | How to be your partner's support?I like Doyle's The surrendered wife. It has some preeetty ovet the top sections, but if you can stomach them and aim to only take what's good/what applies to you, it's worth a read. It is helpful for anxious or controlling women who have trouble making their relationship a place of peace and trust. The biggest way you can support him is to make his day easier and lighter, and that will look different for different men, but there's some common themes. Peace, trust, acceptance. Look up "soft place… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/07/25 08:16 AM |
| 5 | My mind is telling me no but my lady parts are saying yesHas anyone actually done this and not scared the man off? Yes, before going unprotected in a committed relationship. I would not ask for protected sex but once we get to the point of going unprotected, I'd trust the man to not to make assumptions. I realize this is a different scenario than what u/IncognitoGyal7 mentioned but assuming, crudely, "only sluts get tested and I don't want to pass for a slut" is how many people end up with preventable infections. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/25 05:34 AM |
| 3 | My mind is telling me no but my lady parts are saying yesI find this take interesting. There might be too soon but there might be too late as well. To put it delicately, you don't want to be the Jane Bennet who loses Mr Bingley because her discretion is mistaken for disinterest. To put it less delicately, most men want a woman who wants to fuck them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/25 05:18 AM |
| 6 | What is considered long hair to you?I feel very feminine in a 50s bob. My request at the hairdresser was always "do a Marilyn Monroe's haircut". It fit my style and it's more about style than length itself. I've met men who genuinely found short hair attractive. My husband prefers long hair so I've been growing it out for him for years now. Mid-back starts to feel feminine, waist length and beyond is where the WOW happens. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/07/25 01:20 PM |
| 1 | How do you stick to nun mode routines?No; the issue is the making grand plans and then going back and forth, back and forth, with no direction, consistency or self awareness. Your hair or your clothes is not the issue. Your stability is. You need to find a place in your life where you feel stable and good. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/07/25 12:56 PM |
| 9 | Still can’t inspire him to fix home items/ wtd when he doesn’t take the lead on repairsMy husband is "Mr Fix It... tomorrow". He can do anything, but he also won't do anything until he actually decides to. It once took him nine months to replace a lightbulb, and that only happened after the Lightbulb Gate when I broke down crying because "you just don't care!" I don't recommend Lightbulb Gate. What works for me: If it's something I can do myself without getting unmanageable resentment, then doing it myself is better than getting mad. No point in stewing over it and seeing day afte… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/07/25 09:00 AM |
| 2 | Traditional-style money management in today's marriagesThis is seriously messed up. You can find a man who'll happily agree to his wife handling the finances, but no man with a backbone would happily agree with this mindset. You can find some spineless man to agree, but spineless men rarely make good husbands. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 08:50 PM |
| 1 | I can’t keep up with his libidoI hope you have fun saying what OP's husband should do to fix everything, instead of giving actionable advice about how a woman can actually have agency in her relationship. Just to avoid having words put in my mouth, I never even said sex should be amazing all the time, I said sex should be mutually enjoyable and recognized as an important part of a couple's connection. I brought up the kids part because YOU talked about chores and childcare. And I am not SCREAMING it, I am giving my opinion po… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 05:14 PM |
| 1 | How do you stick to nun mode routines?Then I don't think you have the willpower and discipline to be a good partner. I suggest you take a step back from this relationship thing because GIRL you are not in a good place right now. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 03:55 PM |
| 1 | I can’t keep up with his libidothe biological and structural realities that make modern career/financial life really tough on women and their femininity the deeper biological mismatch between modern life and the feminine design. Yes, because the biological norm of bare-survival hunting and gathering, or at most sustainance farming, is sooo much less stressful. Modern Western life is significantly more comfortable and less stressful than any other time and place for the vast majority of people. Working is not something men do.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 03:31 PM |
| 3 | I can’t keep up with his libidoYou treat sex as something a woman does for a man in order to appease him. I treat sex as something *mutually enjoyable couple does together in order to stay healthy and connected as a couple. If she's not finding sex enjoyable, there are technical fixes she could bring up. (and yes, 4-5 days a week is ridiculous. We can agree to disagree on that.) Yes, let's do that. If a man wants a ridiculous amount of sex, then he needs to provide his wife with a certain lifestyle. No. If someone in a marria… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 03:06 PM |
| 3 | I can’t keep up with his libidoWhat time do you leave for work in the morning? Could you switch any of those activities to be before work and not after? You can get up earlier to exercise and have time as a couple in the evening. Or maybe set aside some obligations-free evenings just for you two. Cook easier meals, get a shorter routine for getting ready for work (really how long can it reasonably take?), and make time together a priority. SOMETHING has to give. Right now, you're saying your marriage and your husband "have to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 02:44 PM |
| 2 | I can’t keep up with his libidoa woman needs peace, safety, and hormonal balance to stay soft, open, and sexual. Yes. It might come a surprise though that it doesn't mean women can't be expected to work and have sexual desires, or that men should financially provide for women as the only way to keep sexual desire alive, or that... ah... original redpill content was not about SAHWs being provided for by their husbands. OP has a schedule issue, not a financial provision issue. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 02:36 PM |
| 4 | Traditional-style money management in today's marriagesbeing in the position of knowing where every single penny goes If you don't mind me asking... why? In my marriage, we both track expenses and have access to bank statements. But I know I can get a bit too obsessed with the every single penny thihg. Is it about control for you? | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 02:11 PM |
| 2 | I can’t keep up with his libidoI never said sex means the woman is nurturing her man. I said sex should be a source of mutual enjoyment and connection. Sex is not a chore. If something is making sex feel like a chore, then that is an issue that has very little to do with "he should be paying". You keep assuming that men's financial provision and women not working are core RP tenets. Please explain how that's a basic RP principle. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 02:02 PM |
| 4 | I can’t keep up with his libido"Afford" does not mean he literally needs to give money to have sex. That's not a relationship. You're committed, your man's financial investment in you should not be the deciding factor on whether you have sex with him or not. If you're burnt out from work or need to change schedule, then find the issue and consider solutions. "He should be financially supporting me, then he would deserve more sex" is not a solution. ETA: Thinking back on it, there are lots of thing RP says about married men no… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 01:29 PM |
| 5 | I can’t keep up with his libidoFrequent sex is a privilege for a man who provides for a woman to be more in her feminine, and a big part of that is financial provision. How 'bout "sex should be a mutually enjoyable activity and we should recognize its role in nurturing the connection, love and delight in a relationship." | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 01:26 PM |
| 3 | I can’t keep up with his libidoRPW is not a lifestyle? | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 01:23 PM |
| 2 | How do you stick to nun mode routines?None of us can give you the willpower and discipline you are looking for. There is no "trick". You do it today, and tomorrow, and the day after that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 01:20 PM |
| 2 | My boyfriend lacks maturity, direction, and emotional depth — should I cut ties before I invest more?All your other points only show that you have no respect for him and no emotional investment in the relationship, and you do not seem open to hear my thoughts about that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/25 01:16 PM |
| 32 | My boyfriend lacks maturity, direction, and emotional depth — should I cut ties before I invest more?We have a couple projects to finish together, but I’m already mentally stepping back. I’m just not sure if I should officially end things now or wait until those wrap up. You have your answer. Why are you asking us? Please don't stay in the relationship just to finish your projects and get connections. You are using him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/25 03:42 PM |
| 2 | Feelings about pregnancy?I mean this extremely gently: you sound like you are in a prison of your own making. No matter what he does, he can't win. He told you he wants to have sex, just less frequently than you want to, and that sometimes he'll up the frequency for you - and you jump to "all sex is pity sex". Now he can't even initiate or accept an initiation without it being negative in your mind. So I ask you... what would make it positive in your mind? Surely you realize that it does NOT help to fantasize about your… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/05/25 04:17 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 22, 2025OYS Number: 12 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: late 20s, married, 1 child (1.5 y) Gratitude list: My baby got a follow up test due to some medical issues she had. The doctor said it was all perfect. Phew. We got more info on my husband's work transfer, he got exactly the position he was hoping for! And we might even move before the end of summer. So excited. He had to turn down a big promotion in order to get this job transfer so we are VERY happy it all worked out. We miracolously got t… | /r/RedPillWives | 23/05/25 08:40 AM |
| 3 | Vetting: *If he never changes*I think of agreeable as pleasant to be around, easy to please, generally amenable to his suggestions, graceful. Not being contentious, not harping on his (reasonable) flaws and mistakes, etc. Just make it easy for him to like you. Submission is deeper (though it should come with agreeableness, not just supplant it). It comes from a fundamental trust in the man you've chosen - trust that he's capable, dependable, has good judgement, that he's putting your family first, that he'll make mistakes bu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/25 10:35 AM |
| 9 | Vetting: *If he never changes*Agreeablness is for boyfriends. Submission is for husbands. With this uptake in interest from younger women looking for/at the beginning of a relationship, I am afraid that focus on submission is out of place. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/05/25 04:55 PM |
| 2 | I feel thriving as a homemaker, but is it best for me to return to work?More than that. You should (both) be making plans for your life together based on what benefits the two of you. Your whole post is about how staying home benefits YOU. I'd encourage you to see the issue from his perspective too. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/25 08:34 PM |
| 2 | I feel thriving as a homemaker, but is it best for me to return to work?I stayed home when I was pregnant (health reasons) and I fully admit, aside from 3d printing a whole human, I did very little compared to my hard-working husband who was outside working a physical job in the August heat. I kept the house spotless, cooked every day, baked for elderly neighbors, dealt with a move, exercised often, got some extra education, read dozens of novels... and still had time to take two naps a day. It was like middle school summer break. Truly a life of leisure. I don't th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/25 08:31 PM |
| 2 | I feel thriving as a homemaker, but is it best for me to return to work?Maybe they can make it work because they want to, but you're not marrying your brother. You should be having this discussion with the man you're marrying - he's the only man whose opinion on this counts. You can't just expect him to financially support you because you like a life of leisure. Yeah, that's nice. But maybe it's not nice for him? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/25 08:19 PM |
| 6 | I feel thriving as a homemaker, but is it best for me to return to work?I'll be blunt: it sounds like your partner isn't interested in supporting a stay at home girlfriend. You really can't just decide on your own to stay home and expect him to finance your lifestyle. Homemaking with no kids can often be... well... very little work and responsibility, compared to full financial support of yourself and a healthy, capable adult. It sounds like your partner wanted you to take a temporary break from a terrible job, not to become 100% financially dependent on him for an … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/25 07:46 PM |
| 2 | Women don't oppose patriarchy completely, only parts that harming them.Of course people faced a number of restrictions and discrimination based on race, wealth, social status, etc. My whole point was that there were restrictions and discrimination based on gender in addition to those, and a woman would generally be more restricted than a man IN THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/25 06:50 PM |
| 2 | Women don't oppose patriarchy completely, only parts that harming them.In US history at least there were at least one state where women could vote before non property owning men. I guess you mean property owning women could vote before non property owning men? As I was saying... a woman of a certain race, culture and social standing would generally have much less freedom, autonomy and political rights than a man in comparable circumstances. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/25 06:22 PM |
| 3 | Women don't oppose patriarchy completely, only parts that harming them.Is requiring somebody own property in order to vote a restriction? Obviously the claim meant "men have never had restrictions BECAUSE THEY WERE MEN", contrary to women being denied the right to vote or manage their own property because they were women, for example. Btw, I still recognize men did have some social and legal restrictions/impositions because of their gender. But the point is that a woman of a certain race, culture and social standing would generally have much less freedom, autonomy … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/25 05:36 PM |
| 2 | Laure Doyle's Empowered Wife & Helen Andelin's Fascinating WomanhoodFascinating womanhood is mostly an eyeroll for me. Laura Doyle is much better imo. Less out of touch with reality, more aligned to our current times, and has lots of practical tips and skills to try out. I still don't like a fair bit of what she writes, but it's a toolbox. Take what works, leave the rest. I would stay far far away from her relationship coaching programs and her podcast is mostly terrible imo... and yet I still have The surrendered wife in my nightstand drawer. The empowered wife… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/25 12:34 PM |
| 2 | Feelings about pregnancy?Pregnancy is a fundamentally different experience for you and for him. I realize right now you might need extra comfort and reassurance, shared excitement, and for him to understand and be as awed as you... but he's a man. He's not going to understand - not the way you want him to. It's simply not his experience. His own experience is not wrong just because it's different than yours. It's just the way it is, the only way it can be. For many men, the baby becomes "real" when she's born. It doesn'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/25 07:55 AM |
| 9 | Help fixing my broken marriageu/GlamAndGlitz I wanted to write something similar but Delia has articulated it so well already. By your own words, you didn't get married out of love, but out of circumstances and external expectations. Why did you get married? To get... a stable home, a providing husband, a father for you children, maybe? Do these reasons still hold true? And why did he get married, what did he hope to get? This is an exchange, like a business arrangement. It's not romantic, but it doesn't have to be a marriag… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/05/25 05:49 PM |
| 6 | (19f) First date update !It's all so sweet! :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/05/25 06:37 AM |
| 1 | Can a break from sex help ?He has expressed that he does not like discussing his private sex life, but I find that annoying and find myself always asking questions. You do not "find yourself" asking questions. You CHOOSE to constantly ask because you find his privacy annoying. You can be annoyed and still control your own actions. You are forcing your nosiness on him, in an extremely private and personal area. This rarely leads to openness and intimacy. It sounds like he doesn't object to get some breathing room. What did… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/05/25 04:19 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 15, 2025OYS Number: 11 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: late 20s, married, 1 child (1.5 yo) Gratitude list/Life (because I'm just really grateful for my life right now): We got AMAZING news! My husband got a job transfer and we're finally moving near his family, after a year of trying. I love them all, I love the place, I love that my daughter will grow up in a close knit community that cares for her. They are all helping us immensely with the move, housing, childcare etc. and I am SO grateful to… | /r/RedPillWives | 15/05/25 05:15 PM |
| 18 | Modern dating + 50/50 mentalityShow genuine appreciation and gratitude for what he does for you. "Expecting" this kind of things can easily come off as entitled. Always show that you understand it is a gift, not something you are owed. Reciprocate with something for him, baking like someone else suggested is simple and commonly appreciated by men. I would still offer to pay from time to time. If he refuses, let it go and thank him gracefully. If he agrees, then you are doing something to please him, treat him to something, an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/05/25 07:34 AM |
| 3 | Just wanted to share my wild story as a RPW.Thank you for sharing your story! It's always good to remember there is no "one true pathway" to the relationship we seek :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/25 02:56 PM |
| 1 | How should I view past sexual encounters that only happened because I was drunk?Curious. A woman has sex out of her own free will, and so... you think she has no right to an opinion on sexual consent? | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/25 12:13 PM |
| 5 | What do average men and women typically look like in terms of physical features and fat composition, such as body fat percentage? And what societal factors shape these standards of appearance?Well sexual harrasment survivors do face mental trauma. You being harrassed by someone you rejected is indeed traumatic not like rape survivors obviously but there's trauma. Besides, being shamed for rejecting someone is also traumatic, it will make you overthink and hyper vigilant. Look. I don't know what you experienced. But I can tell you that getting "shamed" for rejecting someone is not trauma. It's an asshole who told you some insulting things. Maybe it makes you feel bad, yes. But trauma … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/25 08:04 AM |
| 9 | How should I view past sexual encounters that only happened because I was drunk?Is it a case of "I willingly got drunk knowing that I am more promiscuous when I drink, and the lack of inhibitions led me to have sex" or "I was too passed out and someone took advantage of me when I couldn't say no"? In the second case, it was obviously not your choice to have sex. (Though getting drunk again and again knowing that people are going to rape you again and again is... a habit one should try to break away from?) In the first case, it was your choice to have sex. Of course it "coun… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/25 06:59 AM |
| 4 | How should I view past sexual encounters that only happened because I was drunk?A lot of universities consider it sexual assault if the woman is under the influence, like it or not. Mmmh. What if the man is under the influence? | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/25 06:46 AM |
| 5 | What do average men and women typically look like in terms of physical features and fat composition, such as body fat percentage? And what societal factors shape these standards of appearance?Considering this my standards are quite realistic and extremely fair. There is more than physical appearance too. Maybe you live somewhere where only very few men meet your standards, so you just have very few opportunities to meet them. Maybe these men are there, but don't meet you because you're looking for them in the wrong place - or maybe they find you physically attractive, but something else puts them off. I just reject them politely and sometimes I do have to mention I'm into lean built … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/25 06:41 AM |
| 5 | What do average men and women typically look like in terms of physical features and fat composition, such as body fat percentage? And what societal factors shape these standards of appearance?Hmmm, personally I am very visual. ... Money doesn't matter to me much. I didn't say women are turned on by money. Confidence and competence, yes. You have every right to have your standards and be attracted to whatever physical characteristics you are attracted to. A core RP idea is that you can't negotiate desire. You should not force yourself into intimacy, ever. You are attracted to... well, the most attractive men. It's not shocking. Just be aware that these are the men everyone is after, s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/25 06:11 AM |
| 17 | What do average men and women typically look like in terms of physical features and fat composition, such as body fat percentage? And what societal factors shape these standards of appearance?Curious why you are posting this on RPW when I get the sense you're not really acquainted or in agreement with the sub's ideas. I suspect this is largely due to societal pressure on women to look appealing, particularly to please men sexually. I find this quite unfair, especially because sexual and physical attraction must be mutual for obvious reasons. It's not right that only one side is expected to put in effort to be attractive to their partner. Both sides are expected to put in effort to be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/25 10:56 AM |
| 4 | Does cleaning make us more feminine?Not cleaning per se, but joy and pride in taking care of our family... that sense of accomplishment in making our home pretty and comfortable... the satisfaction of saying "I did it". Yes, I think for many women, it makes them feel feminine. It's a way to nurture and give. If you consider it your way of caring for your family, I can see why having someone else do it might take away that satisfaction. But sometimes we need to delegate and accept help :) I am like you. I LOVE taking care of my hom… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/05/25 05:08 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 08, 2025OYS Number: 10 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: late 20s, married, 1 child (1.5 yo) Life: Good week. I survived my period and suddenly I don't feel so insecure and ugly anymore. No, instead I feel all light and bright and energized and madly in love with life. Hello follicular phase. Gratitude list: I am amazed at how much my child is growing up. She is happy and healthy and I think a small part might even be because I'm getting something right. Maybe. I am grateful for my daughter's soft… | /r/RedPillWives | 08/05/25 02:13 PM |
| 2 | Receiving gracefullyI did! I always appreciate u/Deliaallmylife 's advice :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/25 02:00 PM |
| 3 | Any advice for being less reactive in my relationship?I can see why it's frustrating. Learning to take a break and don't ignite an argument are good skills but they don't solve the underlying problem of not feeling valued and considered. I often catch him doing something incorrectly and try to correct him and he brushes me off because there’s no way I, a woman, knows more than him. Mmh, if you don't mind me asking - what is it he often does incorrectly? And this stuff about him being right by default because he's the man and you knowing less becaus… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/25 10:36 AM |
| 2 | Excessive, unreasonable fear of being a disappointment: how do I train myself out of this?When you feel that fear coming - pause. Literally hold your hand up in a "stop" sign so he knows you need a moment. Breath. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Feel the contact, the weight of your whole body that unloads. Sit down if you want to. All the weight of your body goes down and is met by an equal force right there where your body meets the ground. Feel how solid it is. Breath. Breath in, breath... out. Make the exhale longer than the inhale. Count if it helps. Breath in, one two three..… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/25 08:36 AM |
| 15 | Any advice for being less reactive in my relationship?being second to a man in any sense What do you mean by this? What makes you feel "second" to him? Does it mean you always have to be first to him? I don't think having strong opinions and arguments is necessarily a bad thing. What's bad for a relationship is having the default reaction of "no, you're wrong and I'm right". It's letting the argument get out of hand, never taking a step back to listen. You shouldn't be having arguments just for the sake of being right, just to talk over him and "wi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/25 08:16 AM |
| 10 | I am 23 and my bf is 24So... you haven't seen each other for 2 months, won't see each other for another 2, and he generously offers to pay so you can double the length of your visit and stay at a more convenient place. Why would you ever pass up the opportunity to spend more time with him? Why is going 50/50 so abhorrent that you'd rather see each other for just 2 days in a whole 4 months? Is it because he tried to "take control" of the planning? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/25 09:07 PM |
| 5 | I (27f) saw texts on my bf (31) phone from exeshe explained that this is out of his control How did he handle these texts? It sounds like he didn't immediatly shut it down and block if he suggested one of these girls for a threesome. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/25 08:29 PM |
| 1 | At what point do you call it quits?You sound like a pretty smart person, but I don't waste time discussing with people who are intentionally rude. Too bad I gave you the benefit of the doubt. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 05:02 PM |
| 1 | At what point do you call it quits?He is a fence sitter when it comes to kids. When we first started dating, he said that he wasn’t sure if he wanted kids. I told him that I would like one kid if I could have one and he said that’s fine. Just last week he said he didn’t want kids again and I had to remind him of our convo to try for one child, then just the other day, he wants kids enough to be willing to leave if he can’t have them. The uncertainty is killing me. He's not a fence sitter. He's indecisive and doesn't know what he … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 04:23 PM |
| 1 | At what point do you call it quits?If they’re emotionally invested, and are both willing to move through this together, then why not at least give it a shot. Because it is not an issue one should face at 4 months in. Not the "being unable to have sex issue" (and I do think OP would benefit from therapy and a pause in her romantic/sexual life), and not the "I'm sexually frustrated so I'm going to lash out at you in the most hurtful way possible". You assume I miss the importance of sex in a relationship. Why? The issue I bring up … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 04:19 PM |
| 1 | At what point do you call it quits?There is unintentionally hurtful and there is cruel. That was cruel. A cruel, cruel attack because he's paying her bills and "can't even get sex", as if sex was something he was owed in return. They are four months in. Four months. This is what he tells in the honeymoon stage, after she's been raped, because he is sexually frustrated. What is he going to tell her if she's pregnant/postpartum, or sick, or healing, and sex is off the table months? I don't care how many "Yes" a person has, there ar… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 02:35 PM |
| 1 | At what point do you call it quits?You know what a loving man doesn't do to his woman, even when sexually frustrated? Tell her her most intimate, delicate part is broken BECAUSE SHE WAS RAPED. I would say THAT is a major relationship problem. I am not dense. I just happen to know that good men are not beasts who viciously attack their women because they don't "perform" after a horrible assault. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 01:27 PM |
| 4 | At what point do you call it quits?You know perfectly well what you should do, if you say "I'm not in a spot to break up with him because he covers all expenses". You are 4 months in. Do whatever you did 4 months ago to cover your expenses, and love yourself enough to leave a man who treats you like this. You don't deserve it. You never deserved it. You are worth so much more. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 12:52 PM |
| 1 | At what point do you call it quits?She's 30 so she should take what she can get, you know? 🙄🙄 | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 12:30 PM |
| 6 | At what point do you call it quits?If you need couples therapy with a 4 months boyfriend, you need to get out of that relationship. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 06:37 AM |
| 2 | How would having an emasculated father affect his son?No, the women in this sub want a man who leads. Who pays the bills and who smokes cigars is irrelevant. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 06:18 AM |
| 4 | Do I go to church today?I am very, very happy for you. Something I read here that really helped me was to understand that me needing more support didn't mean he was doing too little - it meant that sometimes life is just hard. "I need X - I know you're already doing a lot, I wouldn't ask you if I could ask anyone else. We're really going through a stressful time." It shifts the perspective from you vs me to us. You are entitled to put yourself first at 36 weeks pregnant! But putting yourself first does not have to be "… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/25 03:09 AM |
| 2 | I am deeply bothered as a woman by seeing women work.Oh, a fellow Muffin in the wild! Hey there! | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/25 06:18 PM |
| 55 | How to totally wow a manMake small gestures to show that you think of him, like baking cookies. Show appreciation and enthusiasm for anything he might do to please you. Invites you for a coffee? Yes! Wants to watch a movie together? Yes! Helps you reach a jar on the high shelf? Stools and ladders were never invented and he just saved you from going without peanut butter for your whole life! Be playful. Be a joy to be around. When you see him, smile like he's the one person you waited all day to see. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/25 05:30 PM |
| 17 | I am deeply bothered as a woman by seeing women work.Why do you think these women shouldn't work and whatever male figure in their life should support them financially? | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/25 04:47 PM |
| 4 | Do I go to church today?Well that's really a lot. You're both at a stressful time. I know you need a lot of support yourself now, but I'd gently encourage you to give time and space. This issue will be mostly solved by time. It sucks right now, but put it into perspective - a life together will have a few hard times here and there. You won't feel madly in love all the time and that is not the goal. Keep the long term perspective in mind. Can you trust that even if you don't feel happy and connected right now, you'll fe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/25 11:04 AM |
| 5 | Do I go to church today?That's really tough. He has a lot on his plate but I can see why you feel abandoned. Is this new schedule going to be long term or can you just grit your teeth through it for a few more weeks? If it were me, I'd probably wake him up to ask him if he wants to come. Ignore the crankiness, try to stay calm and positive, enjoy the church service as much as possible... then thank him for coming with me. Give him time to rest and recharge around lunchtime, and ask him to do something together afterwar… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/25 10:07 AM |
| 7 | Do I go to church today?If he's still awake, ask him what he wants to do. If he's already sleep, I'd briefly wake him up when you do, and then if he doesn't want to come just go by yourself. If you feel hurt about it - take a breath and give it a few hours before you discuss it. To bring it up, choose a time when you are both calm and can focus on each other. Begin with "I feel..." and not with an accusation. Do his gaming habits often get in the way of your everyday life? | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/25 09:05 AM |
| 4 | Pregnant and single. How do I fix things?You sure are comfortable on your high horse. If you have any actual actionable advice for OP, I'm sure she'd find it useful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/25 05:30 AM |
| 2 | Pregnant and single. How do I fix things?Yeah... I'm strongly, with no doubts, pro-choice. I've (legally) performed abortions on women before. I still don't treat abortions as taking out a tooth that's been bothering you. It's easy for people to make choices for strangers - they don't have to live with the choice. They share their 'wisdom' on the Internet and forget about it the next day. The woman who's actually living it... she doesn't forget. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/25 09:03 PM |
| 12 | Pregnant and single. How do I fix things?I am very sorry you are going through this. I do not mean to sound harsh in any way, but we need to be realistic here. He does not want you or the baby. And even if he did, a man who threatens you and cheats on you while you're pregnant is NOT a safe man. You don't want an unsafe man as your partner, and especially as the father of your child. (ETA: I do not mean that the father can't be involved in the child's life - well, depending on what exactly he threatened... I mean that right now you sho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/25 07:17 PM |
| 5 | Pregnant and single. How do I fix things?I don't know why the Reddit hivemind is downvoting you for your own free choice on this, OP, but please know that you do have a right to choose. And that includes keeping this baby. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/25 06:48 PM |
| 1 | How can I politely suggest he upgrades his closet?:) | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/25 10:22 AM |
| 2 | How to make good of a toxic dynamicBut yes generally our relationship is good. We are very compatible in almost all ways otherwise Except for the (mutual) verbal abuse. I do not believe for a second you feel truly safe with a man who will attack you viciously at a moment's notice. "Whirlwind romance" is no excuse to treat each other like shit. But the highs and lows of drama become addictive pretty soon. I know this is not the answer you hoped to get. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/25 09:40 AM |
| 18 | How can I politely suggest he upgrades his closet?"Oh, look at those jeans! I bet they'd look good on you." or "I'd love to see you in those, I think they'd be flattering." Once in a while (a very long while). Then shut up about it. Or (if he is asking for your opinion): "It looks good, but maybe a different style would look even better." If he's not asking, shut up about it. I assume this is a grown man with his own money, his own tastes, and his own brain, who's been dressing himself for a while without needing mommy to pick out his clothes. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/25 09:33 AM |
| 19 | If men think women are expired by the age of 30, why do men even bother to get married in the first place?Have you truly met a lot of men IN REAL LIFE who think like that, or are you taking the Internet as real life? | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/25 06:51 AM |
| 3 | How to make good of a toxic dynamicthat insults were a hard line for me Except they weren't. He asked for grace the first time, then the second time came around, then the third, the fourth... more and more vicious. And you stayed and took it. Who knows what might come next. At some point, hopefully, you'll realize that he can only insult you because you choose to stay with a man who insults you. Does it sound like a man who cherishes you and cares for you? Who makes you feel loved and safe? The world is so hard already, shouldn't… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/25 06:47 AM |
| 1 | Receiving gracefullyThank you :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/05/25 06:33 AM |
| -1 | What is/was your personal timeline for marriage?Now aren't you delightful to be around. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/25 02:38 PM |
| 0 | What is/was your personal timeline for marriage?Yes? | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/25 02:31 PM |
| 1 | What is/was your personal timeline for marriage?I'm married. Lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/25 02:30 PM |
| 4 | What is/was your personal timeline for marriage?Wait what | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/25 01:24 PM |
| 14 | What is/was your personal timeline for marriage?Because I don't moo. If you consider yourself like a cow to be bought, that's how he'll treat you. I considered myself a partner for life, the person he was choosing to walk the path with, and there is SO MUCH in that beyond sex and washing dishes. He chose me because he wanted me, not because he wanted to get his dick wet. A RPW perspective: Why buy the cow | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/25 11:43 AM |
| 2 | WEEKLY OYS - May 01, 2025OYS Number: 9 OYS Comment Preference: (3) A mix of both Demographics: Late 20s, married, one child (1.5) Gratitude list: I was putting together a list with twenty items when I realized it was all about my husband. So, that's it. My husband. He's the whole list. (Yes, it's cheating.) Things I Did for My Present: Picked flowers during my morning walk, to place on the kitchen table. Went to the playground with my kid and just sat there pushing the swing for however long she wanted. Hung clothes out… | /r/RedPillWives | 02/05/25 11:22 AM |
| 5 | Receiving gracefullyThank you, sincerely. You have given me a lot to reflect on. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/25 09:23 AM |
| 2 | Receiving gracefullyThank you so much. Your suggestions are really helpful. I do express gratitude a lot, but when I feel guilty, somehow it never occurred to me to shift the focus to gratitude. I guess that solves my issue of "If I feel guilty and insecure I end up making it all negative and all about me". I want to appreciate his efforts, not take away from them. At least for me, I feel guilty because he does so much and I appreciate it so much that I feel like I am not holding my end of the "deal". YES. The othe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/25 08:10 AM |
| 3 | Receiving gracefullyI would probably start thinking of simply bearing the guilt as a plus on my scorecard to make myself feel better lol Lol. I think I can do that! It doesn't sound that fun, and I'm sure Reasons have a lot to do with it. They do, in part. Unfortunately that's just life for now, nothing we can do about that. In part it's just my husband always placing my needs before his own and deciding that what I generally need in life is to hit Pause and relax. I am NOT good at hitting Pause and relaxing. Which… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/25 07:37 AM |
| 2 | Receiving gracefullyThank you for your answer! Yep, he IS earning a million gazillion points. I truly don't sense any covert contract on his part though. He does his best because he loves me, always assumes I'm doing my best because I love him, and that's it. I guess he measures "his best" based on himself, while I'm measuring "my best" based on him, and it is apparent to me that I'm not keeping up. But he's not asking me to keep up - has made it clear that there's nothing to "keep up with" in the first place - and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/25 07:01 AM |
| 4 | Receiving gracefullyHe absolutely dislikes drama... and I am aware that being anxious and insecure is just going to fabricate drama out of thin air. I guess that there's worse ways to quiet that insecurity than giving blowjobs lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/25 06:37 AM |
| 3 | Receiving gracefullyLol. What can I say... I do my best. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/25 06:27 AM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - April 24, 2025OYS Number: 8 OYS Comment Preference: (3) A mix of both Demographics: late 20s, married, 1 child (1.5 yo) Haven't done one of these in almost a year, though I kept up some sporadic private journalling. I'm in quite a different place than a year ago. I got back to work after almost 2 years of pregnancy/maternity leave and I changed jobs; it went incredibly well despite all my angst at the thought of leaving baby in daycare. She's thriving, I'm thriving. I got past the "I can't even stand myself" … | /r/RedPillWives | 28/04/25 01:52 PM |
| 3 | Only attracted to dominant masculine men - helpIt's a concept from this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/oA6sYdDSzM | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/25 05:20 AM |
| 4 | Only attracted to dominant masculine men - helpI do not generally use the term. If we're talking about a desirable man with good relationship potential - no, being potentially dominant over any woman is definitely not a trait I would identify. "Over a woman worthy of his dominance" wouldn't either - it's about how the relationship flows, not about who "deserves" it. The right mix of comfort traits and sexual attractiveness would be the desirable trait, which is subjective. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/25 03:49 AM |
| 24 | Only attracted to dominant masculine men - helpI said in another comment that I think you have a high dominance threshold. Basically, you need a man to be very dominant to feel attracted to him and for him to inspire your submission. It means you're looking for a specific kind of man, which might make your pool naturally smaller... but there's nothing wrong with a high threshold. BUT. It seems it's very easy for you to lose respect or even feel repulsed by very minor shows of "weakness". It's not uncommon in women with a high dominance thres… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/04/25 10:38 PM |
| 4 | Only attracted to dominant masculine men - helpThink of it this way, a high value man can make any woman submit to him, a high value woman can submit to any man. I disagree. A 'high value woman' can be submissive to the right man. Not just any man will inspire her submission or be worthy of it, nor should that be her goal. The goal is to find a man she can submit to happily and naturally. She can be do that with ONE man and still consider herself/be considered "submissive" (if we're handing out badges, that is). Otherwise it's like saying a … | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/04/25 10:24 PM |
| 1 | Question for those in LTR or married, how many of you would describe your partner as "dominant"?You can definitely find it. You are very young, if you don't mind me saying so :), and you have a lot of time to grow into the woman you want to be amd find the man you want to find. Do realize that this peace is built. A boyfriend is not a husband. He hasn't 'proven himself' nor has made that commtment. A boyfriend doesn't have the obligations, the responsiblities, the trust and care of a husband - nor would it be in any way fair to expect a boyfriend to have them, especially a very young man. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/04/25 02:38 PM |
| 1 | MarriageYou seem to imply that the “other half” have women as the sole/primary breadwinner – sorry if that’s not the case but that’s how I read it – when in fact only 16% of marriages in the US have the wife as sole (6%) or primary (10%) breadwinner. I didn't mean to imply that. I meant to imply exactly what I said, that in about half of marriages the man earnes more than the woman or is the sole earner. Of course the option "they both earn roughly the same" still exist and is one possible set up for th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/25 09:45 PM |
| 1 | My (32F) boyfriend(32M) feels that I don't respect him and we got in a huge fight. How to fix?Some stuff that came to mind... not everything will apply but maybe you'll find something useful! https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ppjvd2/back_to_basics_september_love_and_respect_for/?rdt=43929 https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/lcEc9RgRfi https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/kLQ3YQpbtW https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/AoDcdn1Xdv https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/gfDe708gLa https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/RshHIZKmLP https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/25 07:36 PM |
| 3 | My (32F) boyfriend(32M) feels that I don't respect him and we got in a huge fight. How to fix?The positive here is that you realized what specific thing hurt him. I read your example in another comment and I agree that was disrespectful - but also hurtful and unappreciative. I don't say this to make you feel bad, I say this to identify what exactly went wrong and what needs to improve. Step one: apologize. You're received good advice already. I'd only add, be careful not to make it all about you and how sorry you are as an attempt to "make him" forgive you. Say your part and then listen … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/25 05:06 PM |
| 2 | Question for those in LTR or married, how many of you would describe your partner as "dominant"?If you don't mind me interjecting, how does the topic of dominance in the bedroom come up with men you're talking to online? One thing to bear in mind - a man who's sexually dominant might not necessarily want to be the dominant partner in everyday life, and the reverse is also true, not all 'leader type' men will want to be dominant in the bedroom. It's fine to want both things of course, they just don't have to be tied together for everyone. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/25 04:47 PM |
| 2 | My (32F) boyfriend(32M) feels that I don't respect him and we got in a huge fight. How to fix?I'm sorry but it's difficult to give advice without knowing what's going on. Are we talking "you shit talked me at Christmas in front of our entire families and friends" or "you said 'thank you' in a slightly off tone" here? What has he told you exactly? | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/25 03:45 PM |
| 1 | This is a bit tabooAgree. I hope they can find a way to talk this through. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/25 07:38 PM |
| 5 | Question for those in LTR or married, how many of you would describe your partner as "dominant"?...they want their man to earn a promotion and earn more money but then also get mad when he spends more time at work and he's more tired at home... | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/25 05:45 PM |
| 1 | This is a bit tabooI thought maybe he's just really influenced by how it worked with his previous partner and doesn't understand that not all women work the same? He wouldn't be the first man not to have a clue. I don't think he's expecting anything too extreme if they're having to use lube. Maybe OP simply needs lube because she doesn't lubricate enough or because of the specific mechanics, and his previous partner didn't, and now he's really hung up on that because he thinks he's doing something wrong / she's no… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/25 05:44 PM |
| 5 | Question for those in LTR or married, how many of you would describe your partner as "dominant"?It's important for everyone in a relationship to realize that even the qualities we think we want in a partner can have their own monkey's paw twist. It's all a trade off and we each have to decide for ourselves what gains are worth what sacrifice. There are no wrong answers, but the results can be awfully final. You're so right. There's always the other side of the coin and if you want one, you need to accept the other. Right from the start when you choose to intertwine your life with someone e… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/25 04:51 PM |
| 13 | This is a bit tabooIt sounds like a disconnect from what he thinks your desire and pleasure "should" look like, and how you actually show it. The issue arises because he wants you to enjoy desire and pleasure, and he thinks you are forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do. He also seems to place great value on spontaneity and maybe expects things to just go smoothly and you to just "get it". There's probably some insecurity on his part. The sentiment is good. The expectation is unfair. Calling your sex l… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/25 04:01 PM |
| 7 | This is a bit tabooThis is... oddly specific advice that might not apply to everyone. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/25 03:06 PM |
| 8 | Question for those in LTR or married, how many of you would describe your partner as "dominant"?My husband is very dominant in some areas. Conveniently, the same areas where I'm very submissive. There where some pretty clear signals from the start of our potentially-maybe-romantic interactions that we each picked up from each other; it draw us together. The magnetism. I would NOT be happy in a relationship where I couldn't lean into my submissive side. I wouldn't feel safe and wouldn't be able to let go, give it all, give all of me. But I would not be happy with a man who expected me to be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/25 01:21 PM |
| 2 | Imagining alpha vs. beta as a two-scale system instead of oneI like your view. I think we have two areas here, sexual attractiveness and comfort. Those two are not the opposite ends of a scale, rather two entirely different scales. You need both attractiveness and comfort in the right amount. Some traits (like competence) will be shared. "Very attractive" does not automatically mean "low comfort", just as "high comfort" does not equal "unattractive". A man can give you a sense of comfort and safety without resorting to unattractive moves like groveling, e… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/25 11:47 AM |
| 2 | On my legal v spiritual marriage situation (again)The part about semen retention got me more. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/25 09:04 PM |
| 16 | How I broke the cycle of perpetual victimhood by taking the red pill and taking control of my lifeCongratulations for reaping the results of your hard work! | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/25 05:26 AM |
| 11 | On my legal v spiritual marriage situation (again)Right? He fundamentally called off the wedding two months in advance but is trying to convince OP that it's for the sake of their relationship really. But if he really really had to marry someone at gunpoint, it would be her! ...how could she possible not feel honored by such a generous sentiment. I do wonder if, before this relationship, OP's identity and self-worth was so dependent on being a virgin. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/04/25 08:06 PM |
| 2 | On my legal v spiritual marriage situation (again)Sorry, I really don't understand what you were saying then :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/04/25 07:01 PM |
| 1 | On my legal v spiritual marriage situation (again)Maybe I didn't understand what you were saying, but why does it matter that in some places you can have both a religious and a legal ceremony? Marriage is the ultimate commitment. He flat out told her he doesn't want a legal marriage because he doesn't want to commit permanently and have her to feel too safe in her position as a wife, so to me that means he... does not want to marry her for real. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/04/25 06:47 PM |
| 5 | On my legal v spiritual marriage situation (again)This is not relevant to OP, who actually wants the legal marriage and is required to have one by her Church anyway. Nor is it relevant to OP's fiancé, who doesn't want a legal marriage because he wants her to fear he might leave her at any time, leaving her with no protection and no legal relationship with him at all. Obviously he doesn't put much weight on the religious marriage either, if he doesn't consider it binding enough to give his wife a sense of safety and permanent commitment. In the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/04/25 06:36 PM |
| 27 | On my legal v spiritual marriage situation (again)The reason he claims he is against legal marriage is because he believes the more commitment/power a woman has in a relationship, subconsciously she becomes less submissive and feminine. He wants to have a wedding, say our vows in front of God, family, friends, and be husband and wife in every way besides signing the government paper. So... he want to get married, except for the "get married" part? He asked you to marry him, and two months before the wedding he says he actually doesn't want to..… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/04/25 11:01 AM |
| 1 | Secret to the balanced life of a Working Woman and Traditional Wife?Trying to gather some context here. Reading your comments: you were engaged a few years ago but then split you got back together after a short time he wanted the ring back you don't currently have plans to get married after being back together for years, but are living together you don't agree on how to make decisions in the relationship financial contribution is tied to how much say each of you has in the relationship finances are separate and you each contribute equally in a financial sense, b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/25 10:26 AM |
| 2 | MarriageThat said, your personal circumstances are not typical. About 50% of marriages in the US have the husband as the sole or primary breadwinner. That leaves out the other half. It also includes marriages with young kids where the woman might be prioritizing family over work, which I'm sure you see is equally a risk for her and a pretty big contribution. Most women will view money she earns as "hers" and money he earns as "ours," absent a specific agreement to the contrary That's your opinion. Opini… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/25 10:02 AM |
| 1 | Secret to the balanced life of a Working Woman and Traditional Wife?When we talk about our future, he says he wants a wife who doesn’t work outside of the house - but perhaps has a job at home so she can also take care of the house, him, and the kids. So do twice the work - bring home money like a working wife, but handle 100% of domestic labor like she was a SAHM? | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/25 08:53 AM |
| 7 | MarriageTwo people who are both independently opposed to marriage for their own personal reasons will have "the highest commitment" in a lifelong relationship. I think it can work quite well if they have a clear intention. It's different when one or both want, or are at least open to, marriage as the highest commitment. Then anything else becomes something less than. It's not "basically the same". You (general "you") have kids, you own a house, you do all the things of a married couple... you're already… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/25 08:35 AM |
| 3 | Marriageit's easy for you to say these things because you aren't the person bearing the risk. I could say the same things and yet I was the higher earner when I got married and the one who came into the marriage with substantially more savings. I was the one who bore the financial risk, and I still got married without accusing my husband of wanting my stuff. I was also the one to bear the short term and long term risks of carrying children (which is one of the reason marriage is a protection for women w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/25 08:12 AM |
| 7 | Need wisdom regarding legal marriage/spiritual marriageAnd the moment you sign a lease or buy a house or sign a birth certificate or need to make medical decisions for one another or (happens to anyone, sooner or later) one of you dies, ta-daaaa, the government is involved again. And it's messier because you two are legally just roommates. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/25 07:36 AM |
| 2 | Need wisdom regarding legal marriage/spiritual marriageOh, I'm loving the discussion. I'm a little bit of an argumentative nerd (sure no one noticed, right? Right?). You can absolutely make your own post on the issue too! My guess is that you won't find many women here who are opposed to the legal commitment, stability and protection of official marriage, because most RPWs are here exactly because they value commitment, stability and protection. But I know for sure that there's some people here who are not interested in marriage or would forgo it if… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/25 08:53 PM |
| 3 | Need wisdom regarding legal marriage/spiritual marriageWell, my original point was that the Catholic church requirement of a legal marriage is actually nothing new or contrary to past tradition. I don't want to debate whether wanting a non-legally binding marriage is good or not, because OP seems to have made her decision already, and it's a very personal matter. I personally have a strong opinion on the issue, but it doesn't have to be a universal one. I'm not sure I have the correct legal vocabulary in English to have this discussion, and I certai… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/25 06:57 PM |
| 6 | Need wisdom regarding legal marriage/spiritual marriageThe goverment is not a "third party" nor a "surrogate husband" in a civil marriage, so I'm not really clear what you're saying. Sorry, the public notary thing was just an example of what a civil marriage ceremony would entail. I was still thinking about 1200s Italy when the Council of the Lateran decided about the religious marriage ceremony. That's how a civil marriage would have happened then, but in other places and times it would of course have been different. Anyway, what a public notary co… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/25 01:57 PM |
| 3 | Fully dependent on partner/husbandFeeling vulnerable is understandable - you are in a vulnerable position, especially with small kids to provide for. Even as a dual income family, we still set up: Life insurance for both parents. Disability insurance for both parents. 3 or 6 months worth of expenses as an emergency fund. First priority for saving. Paying off your home if you have a mortgage and no other place to stay. Second priority. If you can swing it, set aside some money specifically for the kids, but that's a lower priorit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/25 12:02 PM |
| 6 | Need wisdom regarding legal marriage/spiritual marriageI'm afraid if you are Catholic, you don't have many options. Marry him according to the Catholic church requirements, which in most places (not all) include a valid civil marriage as part of your public commitment. Ask for a dispensation from this specific requirement. This may or may not be easy to obtain, depending on where you live. Talk to your local parish priest, and get directed to the local bishop if needed. If point 1 is not an option and point 2 fails, don't marry him and still follow … | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/25 11:43 AM |
| 9 | Need wisdom regarding legal marriage/spiritual marriageDoes the modern Catholic church hold the government to be the highest authority, and the essential witness to the marriage, rather than God? Rather, the Catholic church holds that marriage needs to be a public commitment that has both religious and civil effects, and - from my limited understanding - maybe finds it sketchy when people want to get married but skirt the civil responsibilities attached. It's not a new decision either. Somethig to do with clandestine marriages in the Middle Ages, no… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/25 11:17 AM |
| 2 | Husband struggling with weight loss, I'm struggling with attractionThe articles you cite say that people who don't keep up healthy, sustainable weight-loss habits regain weight - which is obvious, because their former habits is how they became obese in the first place - and therefore they should receive long term support to keep up healthy diet and exercise. They're not saying that meds and surgery are the only or even the best option. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/03/25 03:28 PM |
| 5 | Would you let your spouse cheat on you if they treated you well and providedSTDs are definitely a hill people die on, though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/03/25 07:32 PM |
| 2 | Appealing to traditionally masculine menOh, I usually like to read your perspective. I wrote ny first comment before reading yours so it wasn't directed at you. I don't think you'd DM OP, but I could see someone in OP's shoes DMing you (edit: thanks for clarifying, though: I genuinely appreciate). I know there's men who lurk this sub like it's hunting grounds (them, and people wanting to write an article) because I get DMs when I bring up D/s here. I have nothing against OP's preferences, but I also won't pretend not to notice that he… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/03/25 12:02 PM |
| 2 | Appealing to traditionally masculine menMh, is this how women find you on Reddit then? Hints to naive girls? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/03/25 10:58 AM |
| 15 | Appealing to traditionally masculine menYou're probably going to get DMs from weirdos who want to be your daddy. Be smart and be careful. As "yes, and..." to other comments, I'm going to take a different angle. You sound like someone who's looking for a kinky relationship without wanting to say it out loud. Realize you need to put yourself out there so you can actually meet men - not just the men who live in your fantasies -, signal interest, get to know people. But you also need to have actual conversations about what you want in a r… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/03/25 10:44 AM |
| 5 | I’m A Real Life Beth MarchI still think based on your descriptions that you might be coming off a bit too maternal and reserved? Maternal is the opposite of sexy for... well, most healthy men, I'd say. But maybe you just need to get out there and meet more men (men that you'd want to date, I mean). | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/03/25 07:29 PM |
| 4 | I’m A Real Life Beth MarchIt sounds like you have a wide social circle, that could be a great help! Ok, putting aside the "I want to deflower a virgin" weirdos, do you get any interest from the kind of man you'd want? Do you get first dates, what happens then? You can do everything "right" and it's still going to take time. Don't get discouraged! | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/03/25 07:11 PM |
| 7 | I’m A Real Life Beth MarchI feel like Beth March... shy and devoting. The difference between me and Beth is I didn't catch scarlet fever... where do I go wrong? Well, to catch scarlet fever, you'd have to research the most recent outbreak and fly there. ...sorry. You list a lot of very positive traits that I'm sure would make you a lovely partner. You definitely sound like "relationship material". But it's not really clear what you're doing to catch a good man's attention and to make yourself desirable as a sexual, as we… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/03/25 06:46 PM |
| 8 | Weight loss fixed my marriage… don’t know how to feel?My angry read is… he’s a shallow asshole and only likes me for my body/will leave or stop putting in the effort if I’m not physically pleasing to him. If I get old, he’s out for whatever younger model he can afford, and husband goggles are not a thing for this man. Let's start here: You were so obese you were liat double your healthy weight and literally risking your life. Obviously - and no offense meant - he wasn't staying with you for your dazzling phyisical attractiveness at that point. And … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/03/25 12:34 PM |
| 3 | Weight loss fixed my marriage… don’t know how to feel?Meh, some women have this fantasy of a strong man who never wavers and takes on all the burderns that they don't want to bother with. But it's just that, a fantasy. In a partnership, there will be so many times when you have to hold each other up, cover each other's mistakes, keep rowing when the other can't. You'll get so many strong opinions here on what you as a man SHOULD do... which is ironic, considering what RPW is fundamentally about. FWIW, I think you're being wise looking for a partner… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/03/25 12:28 PM |
| 1 | Weight loss fixed my marriage… don’t know how to feel?I know women who treat their men better when they have more money. Usually they're professionals. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/03/25 08:36 AM |
| 3 | Are pets a dealbreaker if you're not a pet personYou need to be able to have uncomfortable conversations in a couple. Even more, you absolutely need to be able to communicate your own needs and prioritize them, or resentment wil eat your relationship alive sooner or later. Don't pretend to be ok with something that you can't be ok with... it's either ok, or it isn't. You can't pretend for years and years. I'd maybe try a softer approach like "I get really stressed by X, what do you think we could do" rather than "keep your dog off me", but sta… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/03/25 10:27 PM |
| 4 | Sharing a man?And when you're no longer young and moldable, will this man still want you around? | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/03/25 07:20 AM |
| 5 | Are pets a dealbreaker if you're not a pet personSo you are currently facing two options: A) don't complain and potentially be stressed 24/7 in your own home B) let go of a great man because of his dog Could you try option C) Convey to him how much the dog issue is stressing you out and how serious it is, ask his help to find a solution, and think together how it could work long term? Realize that this is not only about the dog, but also about your own ability to stand up for yourself, communicate your needs, and navigate issues as a couple. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/03/25 07:14 AM |
| 15 | Patriarchy HannahTradwives are a trend right now. It's social media consumption. People are living a fantasy life like they're playing the sims. Some are making money out of it. They aren't showing you their real life. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/03/25 03:11 PM |
| 11 | Would it be appropriate of me to ask my SO to pay for my travel tickets?Some info is missing here: How old are you two / how long have you been together / what are the longterm plans / can you actually afford these expenses. Without knowing anything more, I lean towards option 1. If you can afford it, expecting him to cover the cost isn't great imo. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/25 07:01 PM |
| 6 | Discussion: Master's of Love - How Small Interactions Shape Long-Term Marital Success: Gottman’s Insights - Part (2 of 3)Couples who were still together after six years turned toward each other’s bids 87% of the time (9 out of 10 times they respond with love and respect); that means they responded with attention, care, and engagement. Meanwhile, couples who later divorced only turned toward bids 33% of the time (7 out of 10 interactions were met with disrespect, hostility, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling), meaning they ignored or rejected many opportunities for emotional connection. I wonder what … | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/02/25 08:20 AM |
| 2 | Married RPW, how do you manage your finances?We considered our finances fully combined from the day we got married. We still have two individual accounts because we had better terms on these older accounts, compared to what we'd get by closing them and opening a single joint account. By law it all counts as joint anyway, and we treat it all as "ours". It doesn't matter where we deposit the money or what account pays the bills, it's all family money. Then we each get a set amount of "fun money" transfered to separate accounts every month. W… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/25 04:19 PM |
| 2 | Masters of love - I read PDFs so you don't have to - An Intro to John GottmanI love Gottman's books. Looking forward to these posts! | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/25 12:34 PM |
| 3 | Husband's New Petname?Oooh I'd love that. Instead I am Mrs Turniphead. Sigh. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/12/24 09:27 PM |
| 28 | How Far to Submit?The case should be made for the man who has vowed to love and take care of you, and no one else. You don't need to be submissive to anyone just because you're a woman or a wife. Just as anyone else doesn't have any obligation to love you, support you, guide you - why would you even follow someone who's not there to take care of you in the complementary way? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/24 11:43 AM |
| 2 | Explaining our finances to DHWould sharing a budgeting app be enough? We track all our spending on an app and it comes with all sorts of graphs to show where money is going | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/24 07:21 AM |
| 25 | How Far to Submit?Why do you submit to him? Would the same reasons and the same trust apply to anyone else just because they're men? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/24 07:14 AM |
| 2 | How to deal when you are right in a situation and your man doesn't believe you/thinks differently?he trusts the judgement of a strange worker more than he trusts mine. You need to separate business from your personal relationship. It is not a judgement of you or a distrust of you as a partner. It's a business choice, and his business choice cannot be based on not hurting your feelings. If you frame this as you vs a strange worker, you are adding a layer of personal conflict that is obviously not there for him (nor should it be). Why turn a simple business matter into a relationship conflict? | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/11/24 11:37 AM |
| 2 | How to deal when you are right in a situation and your man doesn't believe you/thinks differently?This is quite literally his own business. He knows what you think. Now let go. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/24 10:35 PM |
| 7 | Where to go for guidance?Whatever else you do - please get tested for STDs, get him tested as well, and stop having sex with him at least while you are pregnant. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/10/24 11:58 AM |
| 2 | I'm done wearing the pants, but I need some clarification on some RPW teachings...From a subthread: I have NO family left and he knows how hard that has been for me, so I think he knows he should make my birthday a HUGE deal. Here's the catch: he's not in your mind. You need to communicate what would make you happy and what hurts you, and do so in a way that pulls you closer, that "makes him" want to make you happy. If you nag, criticize, tear him down, push him into defensiveness, he's not going to feel very close to you. That urge to make each other happy comes from closene… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/24 06:12 AM |
| 2 | I'm done wearing the pants, but I need some clarification on some RPW teachings...You may do everything that’s recommended here and he may not become a leader. But even if he doesn't... I don't think the point right now is to "get him to lead", and it may never be for OP. (Yes, we're a sub focusing on male led relationships, but not everyone who comes here is looking for that) I think what's missing here is wanting to make each other happy and delighting in each other's happiness. Whether or not he can and wants to lead is inconsequential to this issue. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/10/24 06:01 AM |
| 2 | What is a reasonable expectation about the delivery of bad news? What is the optimal response?So you're both working more than full time, giving up 10-30% of your income to his family, keep getting emergencies and can't move foreward with your life becsuse of it. One thing I want to note... if it happens so regularly, it's not an emergency, it's the normal state of things. And I understand why this state of things would make you anxious. I agree with others that your negative reactions are going to make your Fiancé more hesitant to talk to you about these issues, and that him needing a d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/10/24 08:11 PM |
| 5 | What is a reasonable expectation about the delivery of bad news? What is the optimal response?I also sort of expect that this community won't love that we live together unmarried, that I work outside the house a ton, etc., Obligatory RPW isn't tradcon here. As a quite-not-tradcon working woman, I am always happy to see other women bringing different ways of life to the discussion! I also see zero issues with a woman managing the finances / both partners working together to manage them. Anything is ok as long as it works for you. I'm not really convinced the root issue here is about who c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/10/24 08:34 AM |
| 6 | Wives, how do you respond when someone asks you about your career, finances, or other things that aren’t areas you manage in your household?Well, answering questions at a dinner with friends certainly wouldn't be an issue anymore, would it? | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/24 09:41 PM |
| 9 | Wives, how do you respond when someone asks you about your career, finances, or other things that aren’t areas you manage in your household?I would focus less on giving a smart impressive answer and more on feeling confident in your own skin. It's your life. It's your choice. No need to be apologetic about it or care what other people think. They're pretty innocent questions. Just because people lead a different life doesn't mean they have different values, tie all of their identity and morals to it, or judge you for living differently. Maybe you need to detach in your own mind these personal choices from such a strong sense of iden… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/24 07:50 PM |
| 4 | I think I (16F) might be a RP?Welcome here! It's great you're exploring and experimenting in safe ways. Hookup culture is incredibly damaging and you're smart to stay away from that. You might face pressure or feel a bit left out in a few years - don't cave. But also don't panic if you have sex with a boyfriend and don't end up marrying him... or maybe that was just me? :) RPW is heavily focused on self improvement, and learning new skills is the best way to start when you're young. Anything that helps you grow into a self-s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/10/24 08:27 PM |
| 3 | We’re my expectations reasonable?I read your examples and it's really reasonable not to accept unsolicited advice on one's health from a new LDR girlfriend, to be honest - regardless of her qualifications, but especially if her only qualification is having relatives in the health industry. While I'm sure you mean well, it's a bit early for that. Besides, you'll find most men are pretty resistant to this kind of meddling. I'm a nurse and it took me two years to get my husband to see a dentist... I'll let you know when I get him … | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/09/24 08:14 AM |
| 1 | Back to Basics September: Anatomy Of A Darn Good Personal AdB2B is a series of reposts of old content to discuss a certain theme. That's why such a relic has been dragged out :) the original is linked at the top of this thread. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/09/24 06:06 AM |
| 1 | Back to Basics September: Anatomy Of A Darn Good Personal AdThe fact that this post hasn’t actually garnered her the hot nerd suggests it isn’t actually that successful. How do you know? | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/09/24 09:01 PM |
| 5 | That Stepford Gal: Through Pregnancy, Postpartum and Profound ThingsCongratulations on your baby girl! When you're pregnant you feel like you're the centre of the world and then you give birth and puff! it's like no one even glances at you when the baby's here... and you're going through the hardest time of your life. The father has such a crucial support role in this phase, all while needing support himself. It's so unbelievably joyful and hard at the same time, isn't it? | /r/RedPillWives | 29/09/24 10:46 AM |
| 3 | Followed RPW advice a lot, but no dating success :( 21FI did, he was like a foot taller than me. Other than being a bit awkward physically (there's no spontaneous kissing, only "please bend down so I can reach" lol), it showed me that the point of height isn't really height. At least for me. It's just a convenient shortcut to get that 'physical dominance' and 'strong confident man' feel... but it does nothing if the man isn't really dominant or confident. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/09/24 07:50 AM |
| 1 | Women who are against and mad at paternity test. Just....why?Sure. I already bet my family life, happiness, financial security, sexual health and my kid's childhood on it, and I feel no need to check and monitor. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/09/24 07:00 PM |
| 1 | Women who are against and mad at paternity test. Just....why?JFYI, not all STIs are only sexually transmitted. But yes, if you're both virgins it shouldn't be necessary to test for some specific STIs. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/09/24 01:51 PM |
| 1 | Women who are against and mad at paternity test. Just....why?But do get tested before you start having unprotected sex with anyone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/09/24 07:08 AM |
| 1 | Women who are against and mad at paternity test. Just....why?Yeah, a google search asking "should I get tested" does not amount to a recommendation. I base my sources on guidelines - which do not recommend routine regular STI testing of people in a heterosexual monogamous relationship, only for people at an increased risk (ie younger, new partner, multiple partner, men having sex with men, pregnancy for some). Some STI tests are a good idea to take regularly even in a committed relationship (and remember not all STIs are only sexually transmitted - I get … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/09/24 07:07 AM |
| 3 | Back to Basics September: Anatomy Of A Darn Good Personal AdAlso, it's just a fun punchy ad. It gets your attention and makes you think, "Is this chick for real?" but in a way that makes you want to see if she is. It has the...bounce... of a children's book. It's good copywriting. I think the rewrites suggested here are just less fun to read...and there's too much to read, too. YES. It's an ad, not an essay. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/24 10:34 PM |
| 6 | Back to Basics September: Anatomy Of A Darn Good Personal AdI see where you're coming from, but to me, this feels more like "quirky nerdy girl looking for decent nerdy guy". The quirkiness will rub the 'wrong audience' the wrong way but I could see this working on some friends of mine. (And here's how to spot the socially inept nerd, I guess.) | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/24 10:32 PM |
| 3 | Back to Basics September: Anatomy Of A Darn Good Personal AdFunny thing, I read "stability" and didn't at any point think "wants money". I read it as emotional and social support, "so what are we doing this Wednesday" stability, signs of responsibility and readiness to "settle down" with some long-ish term plans. Yes, a stable job would be part of that stability, but not in a "financially take care of me as a new bf" way. I love how you put the "you in a relationship" concept btw. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/24 10:22 PM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: Anatomy Of A Darn Good Personal Addidn’t mention degree or job, which is something men don’t care about when choosing a partner. A degree won't change a man's sexual attraction to you, but it definitely impacts your RMV in most circles. mention thigs you like Honestly a degree is going to give much more info and showcase RMV than the classic "I love traveling, music and hanging out with friends". ANY girl on dating apps apparently loves traveling and music. It's a copy paste at this point. why specify being white if there are pi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/24 10:19 PM |
| 0 | Women who are against and mad at paternity test. Just....why?Come on, it's clear it's not a quote from someone but putting into words the direct implication of fearing your wife is pregnant from cheating and the child isn't yours. Neutral as in "not implicitly suspecting your wife of cheating". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/24 06:56 PM |
| 2 | Women who are against and mad at paternity test. Just....why?Up to >20% of married men cheat (meaning sex) on their wives, but I'm still not going to ask my husband for yearly STD tests and to let me check his location, phone and social media at all times. Don't be in a relationship if you can't trust people enough not to subject them to unwarranted suspicion and accusations. ETA: Oh, and around 1 in 4 women experience severe physical violence at the hands of their partner. How about we start asking for regular police check ups on any married/partnered ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/24 04:21 PM |
| 5 | Back to Basics September: Anatomy Of A Darn Good Personal Adany white man willing to take care financially of you. Honestly? It would take quite the socially challenged man to read this ad and reach that conclusion. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/24 02:06 PM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: Anatomy Of A Darn Good Personal AdObviously the woman who posted this ad never claimed she'd do it just for anyone... it's an ad to meet someone and go on a date to know each other. It's not a proposal to spend her life with the first man who replies 😅 I get what you say about the transactional aspect, but to me, it was tongue-in-cheek enough to be funny and genuine. It's not a transaction, it's an exchange. Understanding that exchange and what you offer vs what you want is the basis of RMV. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/24 02:00 PM |
| 1 | Women who are against and mad at paternity test. Just....why?OP is a woman, strangely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/24 01:30 PM |
| 8 | Back to Basics September: Anatomy Of A Darn Good Personal Adalso most men would rather take care of a woman they think is willing to do all those things just for them, not for anyone willing to step up. I do all those things for my husband and even he wouldn't be so delusional as to expect I wouldn't to them for another man I was in a relationship with. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/24 01:28 PM |
| 0 | Women who are against and mad at paternity test. Just....why?One thing can be irrational while still not implying complete distrust and negative judgement of your partner's caracter, integrity, and loyalty. THAT's what I meant with 'neutral' fear. Neutral in relation to the relationship's foundation of trust and fidelity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/24 01:21 PM |
| 10 | Women who are against and mad at paternity test. Just....why?It's sad how many people here seem completely unable to trust someone and enjoy true emotional intimacy. But then, I bet most of them aren't really in a relationship, so no harm done. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/24 12:18 PM |
| 5 | Women who are against and mad at paternity test. Just....why?The act of doing the test should be to assuage all fears he may have, to be a partnership even when fears seem irrational to one person, just as you would expect from him even if he didn’t understand something you feared. Yeah... because "I fear you cheated on me and are willing to lie to me, our families and our child for our entire lives hiding a secret that would break my heart. Oh you could also have given me AND the child an STD, and hiding the child's true medical history could potentially… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/24 12:15 PM |
| 15 | Women who are against and mad at paternity test. Just....why?I don't really believe people in the first place. Which is an extremely valid reason not to have a relationship, instead of subjecting your lifelong partner to constant unwarranted suspicion and distrust. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/24 12:00 PM |
| 16 | Back to Basics September: Anatomy Of A Darn Good Personal AdI love this ad, though I don't entirely love the commentary. It is refreshing. I don't think the issue with online dating for women is usually that they don't get any attention. In my experience, with online dating a woman will often get too much attention, just from the 'wrong men'. And this leads to setting up a profile that goes something like this: "I WANT... (insert long list of traits that amount to 'male unicorn' and reads like you're shopping for a new vaccum cleaner with very specific f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/24 09:43 AM |
| 2 | How to forgive my husband for cheating for like 5/6 thI feel it's so hard to give advice when the post paunts a picture and then the comments give crucial info that change everything... but wait! there's more comments explaining that the crucial info actually meant a wildly different thing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/09/24 08:49 AM |
| 7 | What do you do when you’re right in a disagreement?It sounds like your man is reacting with defensiveness when he feels you're telling him "you're wrong", and exacerbating the conflict when he gets emotionally flooded. Getting defensive yourself and 'playing this game' only feeds the negative cycle. The only effective way to stop the cycle is to step out of it. Hit the Pause button. "This discussion is not leading us anywhere good right now. Can we drop it/talk about it later?" Then talk about something else entirely or take 15-20 minutes to you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/24 07:01 PM |
| 1 | Married couples should share all social security contributionsThat is exactly how it works in certain countries. Voluntary personal pensions accounts are one thing. Taxes are another. Broadly speaking, your taxes don't go into an account titled "griii2's future benefits". They are a contribution you make to society now hoping that there will be enough money to get it back later, when you're no longer able to contribute and other people will contribute to cover for you. That money you're contributing now is already spent. There's no "accumulation of wealth"… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/09/24 08:28 AM |
| 13 | Back to Basics September: Learning the Girl Game from Lucifer's Daughters - Implementing the Game (Part 2)A lot of my male friends were going for unattractive and fat girls so I asked why This made me chuckle. A friend of my husband actually says "if she's uglish, she'll be better in bed because she can't get it as much". Basically, fuck him like he's some guy who's SMV is 10 points above yours even if it's the same. This is something that's often missing when women want to feel pursued or (opposite end) when they begrudge sex and never initiate/never do something enthusiastically. Yeah, masculine m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/24 07:22 AM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: Learning the Girl Game from Lucifer's Daughters - Description of the Game (Part 1)If you are genuine with your game, you'll attract men who want to stay with you. Yessss. Fake it til you make it is a good strategy if you can actually make it. Fake it so he'll like you - and keep faking... and keep faking... - will only get you a man that won't like you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/24 07:10 AM |
| 3 | q4w: what logical reasons can you, as a (voluntarily) never-married woman, put forth to justify a random man risking his life to save yours?Yet, if you idn't vet and gave away the pussy for free You are so crass it's revolting. Marriage isn't "payment" for sex. Transactions for sex is sex work. In all your sexist nonsense, you ended up equating wives and whores: congratulations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/24 11:24 PM |
| 2 | Paternity test is not fidelity testNot just North America, EU countries as well. I admit I was referring to high resources settings when saying "virtually always happens". But there are much better ways to ensure proper newborn identification than DNA tests, and lower resources settings have bigger issues (and less resources to waste on such useless policy). Preventing swaps is incredibly easy, you just need proper procedures and avoid mother-baby immediate separation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/24 10:55 PM |
| 12 | If there was a test that could confirm cheating, would you make your man take it?No, not "just in case". Just as I would never ask him to share his location with me, check his phone, read his bank statements... All real-world ways to identify cheating. I trust him. If I didn't, our relationship would have issues that should have been solved waaaaay before they got to that point. Maybe I would if I had very solid reasons to suspect cheating. But I'm not sure how our relationship would recover from such a breach of trust, even if I found no proof of cheating. I would have stab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/24 10:51 PM |
| 5 | Paternity test is not fidelity testIBGE data is public Please post the source, or at least reference it in a way that people can actually identify the specific source of your claims. Just saying "IGBE says..." is not enough. All I found were some news articles citing 1 case in 6000 births in Brazil but no actual source for the estimate. There have been cases in which this has happened. Yes, I'm sure we can find a couple of newspaper articles or a Netflix documentary on the literally one-in-millions people that find their biologic… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/24 09:13 PM |
| 4 | Paternity test is not fidelity testI work as a women/neonatal nurse in a maternity unit and I can guarantee, we have the parents double check identifying bracelets and apply them in front of the parents before leaving the delivery room. We even apply identifying bracelets to newborns who need to be brought out of the room for advanced resuscitation or as we're transferring them to the NICU. I don't know if/why they don't follow best neonatal identification practices in Brazil, and I can't comment on your stats as I never read the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/24 08:28 PM |
| 3 | Paternity test is not fidelity testTo ask for a DNA test for themselves - yes. And an incidental finding of false paternity in these cases could have some (rare) different explanations than unfaithfulness, as OP pointed out. A DNA ancestry test for yourself is quite different than asking for a paternity test on your children or for mandatory paternity testing at birth. And these are the cases we normally consider when talking about paternity testing in a committed relationship. Surely we can see the difference? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/24 08:18 PM |
| – | Modern women want conservative masculine men but who are politically liberal, to go along with their other long list of demands.Some women like traditional gender roles and aesthetics for themselves, but don't think they should be required of all people. Some men do as well. Some people get a gym card and still don't think abortion should be banned, LGBT people should be discriminated against, and immigrants should be kicked out. Shocking. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/24 07:50 PM |
| 9 | Paternity test is not fidelity testYour objections all make sense. Now take the most common case of married/committed monogamous couples, which is what people usually consider when talking about paternity tests. Not all the weird rare cases you can conceive of, just the standard one in a committed relationship. No swingers, no threesomes, no agreed non-monogamy on the woman's part. No shady hospital practice where the newborn doesn't get an identifying bracelet in front of the parents before leaving the delivery room (as is stand… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/24 07:42 PM |
| 3 | Married couples should share all social security contributionsone person does more paid work while the other does more unpaid work First: taxes for social security do not literally go into an account with your name and they're no "accumulation of wealth". It's not how it works. Second: why do you assume this? Hours worked do not result in a fixed financial contribution. Hours worked and financial contribution do not detract from domestic labor at a fixed rate. So does it depend on how many hours you work or how much money you make? Should the person making… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/24 12:05 PM |
| 13 | q4w: what logical reasons can you, as a (voluntarily) never-married woman, put forth to justify a random man risking his life to save yours?No, apparently unmarried women's lives are just worthless. No one cares about them so there's no reason they'd want or deserve to be saved. I'm so happy we've got a man enlightening us with his logic, as us silly women only judge the world with our feelings, as we all know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/09/24 07:48 PM |
| 7 | q4w: what logical reasons can you, as a (voluntarily) never-married woman, put forth to justify a random man risking his life to save yours?First off, lets acknowledge the fact that you were NOT able to provide any logical reasons on why any random man should risk his life to save your life. The same reasons any random people should risk their life to save some stranger's life. I do not believe anyone is somehow obligated to risk their life to save a stranger in random circumstances, let alone based on their marital status. No one has to be a hero. I find it a brave and idealistic choice, but not a morally obligated one. We'd have t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/09/24 07:30 PM |
| 15 | q4w: what logical reasons can you, as a (voluntarily) never-married woman, put forth to justify a random man risking his life to save yours?Why should he risk his life to save yours? You chose not to be with one man for the rest of your life, which is 100% fine. Why do you think the woman being married to another man would make any difference? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/09/24 06:40 PM |
| 7 | Is he a narcissist or am I overreactingIs he a narcissist? What did he want from me? Whyyyy did he do all of this. And why doesn’t a single soul SEE what he did to me? I’m so angry. And so upset that nobody did anything. Nobody said sorry ever. Nobody yelled in his face. Nothing You life is not about him. It's about you. Obsessing over him won't make you heal. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/24 01:54 PM |
| 2 | I did it! Pt. 2 and green flags to look forCongratulations. The best part of this field report is seeing the work you put in. If it's worth it, it requires work! | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/09/24 11:00 AM |
| 2 | I did it! Pt. 2 and green flags to look forYou put in quite a bit of work to find them and it seems your SMV balanced them out. I don't see that as a norm, here. I agree. OP put in the work to find a man who met her standard and!!! be a woman who'd meet the standard of such a man. I think it's a much better strategy than lowering one's standard to a "barely acceptable" level to make it easier. It won't actually be easier in the long run. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/09/24 10:59 AM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: The Male Dual Mating Strategy: Calibrating a Self-Improvement Strategy for Women [Part 2]edit note: There's likely a "The Essential Duties of The Virtuous Whore" and the part 2 "The Essential Duties of the Sex Madonna" that goes into depth and breadth similar to essential duties of first mate and "Calibrating a Self-Improvement Strategy to Your Man's Life Stage" that ties into the roles/hats we play and wear throughout our life's arc and how that changes from: I don't have much to add, just picture me nodding along the entire time. I love it. Now if someone could write those... :) O… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/09/24 06:39 AM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: The Male Dual Mating Strategy: Calibrating a Self-Improvement Strategy for Women [Part 2]Right? I'm going round and round and not quite grasping it, but it feels there, somewhere. Rather than a madonna/whore dycothomy, I think of it more like three roles the woman plays - wife (comfort, commitment, security), lover (passion, escape) and companion (connection, growth, intimacy). These are all in the private sphere. A need for status would fall under a more public sphere, along with a need for... contribution? involvement? community?. I don't know if those are also roles a person play… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/24 09:30 PM |
| 3 | Ovulation makes me look good?Am I spotting an INTP in the wild? :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/24 08:58 PM |
| 5 | Ovulation makes me look good?There's actually research showing that ovulation slightly changes our looks and behaviors, to the extent that men can (subconscously) pick it up and find an ovulating woman more attractive. Something about skin, flushed face, and eyes, I recollect. An ovulating woman feels more attractive and confident, and even makes her own partner feel more attractive. I don't have references on hand but I can post them if anyone's interested. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/24 08:57 PM |
| 3 | Back to Basics September: The Male Dual Mating Strategy: Calibrating a Self-Improvement Strategy for Women [Part 2]Thinking back on the cultural aspect a second - the fixation with N-count seems to be largely a US concept. I'm from Europe and we don't even have that as a concept, I don't think anyone would even really count... not meaning that there's countless sexual partners, rather than - whether they're many or a few - they're not thought of as notches on a belt. I'd maybe think of it as "zero, one, more than one but still 'normal', and exceptionally high". But the focus between one, two, three, six... i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/24 03:39 PM |
| 3 | Back to Basics September: The Male Dual Mating Strategy: Calibrating a Self-Improvement Strategy for Women [Part 2]This reminds me of the triangular theory of love - the whore embodies passion, the madonna embodies commitment. Intimacy I think would come from genuinely embodying both, being true to one's self while sharing life with the person you're with. And also reminds me of Ark's great post on security, status, escape. It fits perfectly with this one. The biggest takeaway here is that you can not only be one or the other. It's a balance. Loyalty, commitment, security, passion, escape... so many women lo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/24 01:05 PM |
| 2 | Do you let men help you?Agree. I think there's a very specific demographic that ends up here asking these questions, and also gets sucked in by specific contents in the search for an identity and a "right way". Just to be clear, this is not a judgement on OP, rather a general observation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/24 09:40 PM |
| 1 | Do you let men help you?I don't know. I wasn't raised by a wholesome trad mom, none of my friends were, and still none of us pulled this stuff. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/24 08:03 PM |
| 8 | Do you let men help you?Yessss. I'd much rather not bring out the masculinity of any man I meet, thankyouverymuch. Masculine vs feminine has a sexual connotation that makes me pretty uneasy with strangers, especially with people whose identity seems to completely revolve around it. And playing the helpless girl, letting a strange man carry my bags for me "so he feels masculine" when I have a partner? NOPE. It's a game. It's just coquettish. Just as I wouldn't want my husband to go around helping attractive young women … | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/24 01:16 PM |
| 4 | Reading: My ex texted me after 5 months of no contact. What does he want?By learning not to allow people to use you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/24 12:04 PM |
| 26 | Do you let men help you?I would not give so much thought to the implications of a short exchange with a stranger. Accept help graciously if you need it, decline politely if you don't. Be aware that for some men offering help and it being accepted can be signs of interest, so use your common sense and read the situation. When in doubt, I err on the side of caution, and no, I don't let strangers help me when I don't really need it. The point is not that you have to be all soft and feminine and "not emasculating" with str… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/24 08:03 AM |
| 3 | How to help my husband be masculineSomething in your wording strikes me as very... directive. Or pushy. This, and the other comment where you said you'd go yourself (accompany him?) to encourage him. Sounds a bit like "here, mommy took you to the playground, let me show you how to go down the slide. No, like this!". I might be wrong of course, no judgement, this is just the vibe it gives off to me. It is really not your place to judge whether, where and how he should go to the gym, lift weights etc. This sounds like you are tryin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/24 07:39 AM |
| 1 | Back to Basics September: The Male Dual Mating Strategy: Understanding the Theory [Part 1]I'd be very hesitant to talk about r/K in humans as we are purely a K species, but I get what you're saying. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/24 06:55 AM |
| 5 | How to help my husband be masculineI'm curious about helping his confidence with a gym membership. Did you encourage/suggest/push him to get a gym membership? Did you set it up for him? This does not sound like the way a sensitive nerd would instinctively choose to gain confidence. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/24 06:08 PM |
| 9 | Childrearing is not just "work" and if you think that way, then you shouldn't have kids!I say this with my chest, housework is cake with modern appliances and conveniences. While it's undoubtedly true that domestic labor is made lighter by modern conveniences, I find it delightful that the "running a household is no hard work" argument is always made by people who do not in fact run a household, let alone run a household while raising young children and possibly also working a paid job. Dude, your experience of "childcare and homemaking" amounts to taking your brother to an amuseme… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/24 04:03 PM |
| 1 | Short version: Men are not slobs. Husbands are not slobs.You cannot just assume that this same division of labor would apply specifically to couples who then divorce. They are a specific subgroup, not couples just randomly selected from the general population that supplied these datapoints. You're saying "statistically couples don't divorce because of the division of labor, because in the general population division of labor is generally sort of equal", but there are OBVIOUS reasons to think that couples who divorce are different than the general popu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/24 03:22 PM |
| 1 | “A woman cannot date backwards..”Really? I didn't know, I thought you were here the longest! I remember the previous username but maybe there was another before that? I'm losing track here. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/24 02:12 PM |
| 10 | Childrearing is not just "work" and if you think that way, then you shouldn't have kids!Ah yes, the famous child who is born as a 15 yo who takes care of himself indepedently. No time and effort required from the parents to bring him up to that point. Have 3 kids spaced by 2-3 years, and you have a good 10 years of caring for a totally dependent child 24/7. You also don't seem to graps that "doing something else" and "just being home with them" entails running a household, not just leisurely going on rides at an amusement park with no other responsability. And for the majority of m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/24 02:11 PM |
| 8 | Childrearing is not just "work" and if you think that way, then you shouldn't have kids!First of all: most mothers hold paid jobs too. And most fathers would consider childcare "work". Shocking, I know. Childrearing is not a job, but it IS work. It requires labor, effort, mental energy, constant responsibility and 24/7 commitment with no breaks. You seem to think that things are either 100% horrible labor or 100% effortless bliss. And you are equating no paid job = no work. The whole point when people point out that childcare is hard work is that IT IS WORK, even if it is not paid.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/24 12:07 PM |
| 3 | Back to Basics September: The Male Dual Mating Strategy: Understanding the Theory [Part 1]I agree with Jenn, I think part 2 will get more interest as it's more practical. People seem less ready to engage in a purely theoretical discussion but I'm sure it'll be easier with the "ok, how does it apply to my relationship" part! | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/24 08:08 AM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: The Male Dual Mating Strategy: Understanding the Theory [Part 1]Thanks for such an articulated response! I thought the Coolidge effect was mentioned by the link I posted, but maybe it was somewhere else. I don't think we're really disagreeing here. (Warning: more research coming!) It is true that there is support for the Coolidge effect in humans too, though any conclusion will be severely limited by study methodology as it's pretty hard to study human mate selection in a naturalistic context :) and we have strong evidence of sex differences in mating strate… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/24 07:54 AM |
| 2 | “A woman cannot date backwards..”The funny thing with people telling the subreddit The Truth about RPW is looking at the username and thinking... "who are you again?" You know nothing, Delia! | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/24 09:06 PM |
| 1 | Dating as a fat girlPlease get off Reddit and start therapy. I say this with compassion, not contempt. You are not well. Take care. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/24 09:03 PM |
| 3 | Dating as a fat girlYou tried for EIGHT days. What kind of results did yoh expect to see in eight days? It took you years to gain that weight. It's not that you "can't". You are not exempt from the laws of physics. You just don't want to. You lack self awareness and self discipline. This kind of unaware, helpless victim mentality could maybe (maybe) be excusable in a 15 yo. You are 27. Grow up. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/24 07:46 PM |
| 2 | “A woman cannot date backwards..”My, people are really sure you're wrong about RPW, aren't they. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/24 06:40 PM |
| 3 | Book Club: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Ch. 1: The *Im*proper Care and Feeding of HusbandsNo, you need therapy BEFORE you start dating. It's the whole point. You had a super elaborate, high-investment plan for nun mode that suddenly got thrown out the window... why? It's a cycle of over-committing yourself and giving up. The only way to get out of this cycle is to STOP. Hit that pause button. Don't you see that's exactly why you need nun mode? | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/24 05:07 PM |
| 14 | Back to Basics September: The Male Dual Mating Strategy: Understanding the Theory [Part 1]I like the second footnote. It's a very valuable lesson to learn that "it's not wrong, it just IS". There's nothing bad in a man who instinctively looks for signs of fidelity in a potential partner. Women do the same, and have actually evolved just as many strategies to ensure monoginy in their men. (Nerdy link below) However, unlike his sperm, his time, effort, and care were finite, valuable resources, and thus he only gave such privileges to the women he regarded the highest, whether that was … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/24 03:31 PM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?Who also doesn't stop me from doing anything I need to do to be happy in life. Yes! That's what makes such a dynamic work. Leadership is not selfish, it's the most generous role. It's good to know we can do it all if we need to, but then it's good to know we don't need to do it all. Thanks for contributing! | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/24 06:36 AM |
| 2 | What does submission look like to you and would you do it for your future partner?Your line of thought would be valid if submissive women forever gave someone else absolute power over them and lost all ability of revoking consent. They don't. I never said women "should" be submissive, I said that you can't simultaneously invoke autonomy and deny the validity of an automonous choice just because you don't agree with it. Learn to read. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/09/24 09:12 PM |
| 1 | What does submission look like to you and would you do it for your future partner?Sure, it's not autonomous by virtue of you thinking that free adult women aren't capable of deciding for themselves. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/09/24 08:42 PM |
| 2 | What does submission look like to you and would you do it for your future partner?I love when people criticize the lack of autonomy by de-legimitizing an autonomous choice made by an adult woman. Women should be free to choose for themselves, but may only choose what I approve of. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/09/24 08:27 PM |
| 10 | Career vs WifeNo boss, no matter how good, is going to hold your hand through chemo. ^ Yes. You should have a job if that is what's best for you or your family. But always keep in mind that you are not married to your job. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/24 08:22 PM |
| 5 | Do you think it’s better to be perceived as sexy or adorable?If you're talking about first impressions, I'd never want to perceived as sexy by strangers. It makes me uncomfortable. With man it brings the wrong kind of attention, and with women it brings distrust or jealousy. I do tend to accentuate the hourglass but that to me feels more 'traditionally feminine' than purely sexy (depending on the kind of clothing and paired with the right kind of accessories, make up and demeanor). I don't necessarily want to be perceived as adorable, rather as soft and f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/24 08:20 PM |
| 11 | Do you think it’s better to be perceived as sexy or adorable?I like to be cute and adorable. Then, when they’re least expecting it, you say something filthy. Immediately revert back to the adorable self and it completely hooks them. I feel like you've just given us the cheat code for the final boss of the game. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/24 08:12 PM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?So let me get this straight: if I smack you on the ass and if you call me, daddy, you’ll do whatever I say and have sex with me anytime I want? Yes, please.” Lol. No fool here. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/24 04:02 PM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?I think all your points are valid! The last one is a very realistic explanations of different scenarios. From the outside, you can't really see the difference between agreeing because you already agreed/he's convinced you, and agreeing because it's him. Most of the time it should be both reasons at the same time anyway. It might come from the different "functional roles" too and what goes on in the couple's heads. If he always approaches decisions by considering her first and valuing her opinion… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/24 06:48 AM |
| 3 | On the nature of givingThat was so sweet! You have quite the weapon in your arsenal :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/24 06:13 AM |
| 4 | On the nature of givingUhhhh no, I'm pretty sure it's not that. She couldn't care less about how we do laundry, and I'd be surprised if my husband ever mentioned anything (he read this post and he says he didn't even care himself about the socks and shirts, he didn't give it a thought, let alone mention it to someone else). She always just did it for him that way when he visited, still does for all of us. The warmest feeling was, recently, watching her fold and smooth my daughter's tiny onesies and socks. It's just ho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 08:25 PM |
| 7 | On the nature of givingNothing. The love of a child, sure, but she wasn’t scorekeeping. She was simply enjoying the act of giving. It was not nothing :) but it was valuable because it wasn't a score to keep. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 06:13 PM |
| 8 | On the nature of givingThanks. I think it might be especially difficult to see it this way when there's stress, distance, bitterness or resentment. But someone has got to make the first step to close the distance, and just waiting around hoping he'll do it is not really empowering for women. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 06:09 PM |
| 4 | On the nature of givingchanged my mindset from "I have to" but instead "I get to" I love it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 03:56 PM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?he is basically a representative of both of your wants and needs I really like this view. Thanks for contributing! | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 02:26 PM |
| 1 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?He is puzzled when I say I should listen to him more and then struggles to see the follow through. Ah, if it were that easy! :) I find submission a very active role that requires much effort. The effort can sometimes be lost when looking at it from the outside. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 12:33 PM |
| 3 | Book Club: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Ch. 1: The *Im*proper Care and Feeding of HusbandsI agree with u/Scared-Tea-8911 that summaries and opinions from a single woman would be very appreciated!, just about different books. The surrendered single might be an interesting read and spark some discussion relevant to your experience. Something from Jordan Peterson might also be an enjoyable read and give valuable perspective on how to pull your life together - I'm not a fan personally, but I think it might resonate with you. I just came across this field report on nun mode from a much ap… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 08:34 AM |
| 3 | Back to Basics September: Learning about the male protective instinct from my brotherA woman can slap a man in public and people will smirk and laugh, believing he probably deserved it. If a man slaps a woman in public he can find himself surrounded by other men ready to punish him. Things are not equal. I don't think a woman slapping a man should just be condoned, but I also think things are - on an instinctual level - not equal because there is a very obvious disparity. If a woman hits a man, she could hurt him, but if a man hits a woman, he could kill her. Women need to be pr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 08:24 AM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: Learning about the male protective instinct from my brotherAh, I'm sorry to have missed this repost, because this line The way it is consciously expressed, though, is "you are cute". (Incidentally, this is why men hate being called cute.) might be one of the most enlightening of the sub. I always liked to be cute. I'm afraid it just came off as awkward as a teenager with floral skirts and huge bows in her hair when skinny jeans and leggins were the trend, but it was certainly a special flavor of awkwardness! At times it did feel like I was betraying the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 08:00 AM |
| 2 | Nun Mode Field ReportOhhh I had missed this post. It is so wholesome. I'm happy you got yourself out of that space and built a better life. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 07:34 AM |
| 4 | The Riddle of the Stinson, with an RPW EyeYou know, when I dabbled into the male RP spaces and I read about handling shit test, it started off as "amused mastery? What's this ridiculous stuff?" and ended as "oh shit... so that's what he does". I had half a mind to send some stuff to my staunchly anti-redpill husband just for fun, then I thought it wiser not to give him more ammunition lol. I felt that little smile in the first scene too 😅 | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 07:25 AM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?Nice to hear from a man himself! If I’m among friends, and the girl is wearing a collar, things are pretty clear already. Aren't they indeed. My relationships are never egalitarian - That’s the whole point. Women who like me want to turn off their “anxiety brains” and turn on their “girlfriend brains” so both responsibility and authority flow to me, and they can be relaxed. That's a big allure of the lifestyle for sure. I sense we're talking more about D/s relationships in a BDSM sense? That's a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 07:13 AM |
| 3 | The Riddle of the Stinson, with an RPW EyeI love this post! Thank you for sharing! Scene 1: I just want the room painted! When she looks up from her accounts and sighs... I felt it. THAT sigh. We all know what's going through her mind lol. Whatever he puts his effort into is what matters to him. Yes! Give him support how he needs and appreciates support! Not how you think it 'makes sense' or how you'd want to be supported. His own priorities are an unfailing guide on what matters to him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 04:07 AM |
| 1 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?I don't like the word polygamy for this exact reason. That's why I talk about one sided ethical non monogamy. There's also many one sided open relationships that are not ethical or healthy in my opinion, but are still far from coercive polygamy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 04:00 AM |
| 1 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?Why would you think we're talking about coercion? Obviously we're talking about choices here, unless you're going by some wild assumptions. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 03:58 AM |
| 5 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?Thanks everyone so much for their contribution! I am loving the discussion. I notice in the comments there's some "my relationship is male led but in practice that often looks egalitarian" and some "my relationship is egalitarian but in practice that often looks male led"... it is very interesting. I think it's just arriving to the same point by two different routes. I find it interesting because it's the two different routes my husband and I take. I would define our relationship as male led bec… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 03:50 AM |
| 1 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?I disagree. One-sided open relationships exist and they can be ethically non monogamous. It gets trickier, but it happens. I think the 'ethical non monogamy' version is mostly exclusive of the BDSM world when heavy power exchange is involved (as in, the submissive partner is monogamois, the dominant partner isn't) but could happen outside too. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 03:21 AM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?It's worth noting that RPW doesn't advocate for looking for a RP man, quite the opposite usually. The discussion on poliamory and jealousy is pretty interesting, thanks for contributing! I'm very curious on what brought you here? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 03:19 AM |
| 1 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?Thanks for your view! The "separate spheres" is a very practical concept and I believe that's how it often ends up looking regardless of the egalitarian or male led dynamic. Being equally valued and respected is an important foundation... though I wonder if the point is that it has to be "equally", or rather "fully". Of course, the aim is always to be 100% respected and cherished, but I find that an interesting distinction - one focuses on comparing the two or reciprocating, the other focuses on… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 03:13 AM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?I agree. It's not as following or supporting makes anyone weak, and it's not a competition of who's stronger anyway. But many women stifle that longing they have and it leads to power struggles because they are first and foremost struggling with themselves. Or they get turned off from the whole concept by a single jerk / domineering man and then have issues with it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 03:07 AM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?There's some "my relationship in male led but in practice that often looks egalitarian" in the comments, and there's some "my relationship is egalitarian but in practice that often looks male led"... it is very interesting. I think it's just arriving to the same point by two different routes. I think a male led dynamic works best if the man is a leader at heart, and sees it as a way to take care of his family, have responsibility towards them, and shoulder the burden. I know some men like this, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 03:04 AM |
| 1 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?Thanks! So he would use the word submission, but not dominance. That draws an interesting distinction. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 02:58 AM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?Thanks so much for your view. I love it. Your husband sounds wonderful. There's some "my relationship in male led but in practice that often looks egalitarian" in the comments, and there's some "my relationship is egalitarian but in practice that often looks male led"... it is very interesting. I think it's just arriving to the same point by two different routes. The common ground is that it stems from a place of valuing and caring for each other. I think where a lot of women get turned off from… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 02:57 AM |
| 3 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?Thank you for your comment! You're so right that leadership really shines in times of crisis. There's room to 'do each your own thing' when times are easy, but when it gets hard, someone needs to take that steering wheel and shoulder the responsibility. I see it as... we can go back and forth about what to have for dinner or what to do on Sunday, but if there's a fire, I'm going to look at him and ask "what do we do now?". | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 02:50 AM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?Absolutely! Thanks for clarifying. It sounds very peaceful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 02:44 AM |
| 4 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?I love his views! They sound very similar to my husband's but you articulated it way better than I could. If you asked him if I'm submissive to him, he'd say I can be feisty. In my defence the feistyness is very toned down... I feel like I STFU, isn't that what counts??? :P Lol! I'm on your side on this one. STFU is hard to notice because on the outside, you only see a supportive and agreeable woman, so it feels like she's not really doing anything. You don't see what's going on within her head … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 02:43 AM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?I wholeheartedly agree with you that it's a huge responsibility, and a constant "putting others before yourself". I see the privilege as being relieved of it while he shoulders the burden. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/24 02:38 AM |
| 3 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?I think he likes my submission and obedience more than he likes being overtly dominant. This is an interesting concept, but I'm not grasping it fully. Could you elaborate? Most of our relationship looks egalitarian, but he knows I want his leadership and guidance and he wants to know my preferences to help him make decisions. I see what you mean! Often it's not what things look like, but the reason behind them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 08:23 PM |
| 2 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?Is it submission in his mind or more like "support"? Paradoxically, I've found many dominant men are actually reluctant call it dominance or submission, though I guess it t could be different with an RP inclined man. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 08:20 PM |
| 16 | What does your partner think of RPW, submission, and male-led relationships?I am of the opinion that many women would be happy in a male led relationship, but not as many men have what it takes to be a leader. Considering his partner's opinions and needs is such a fundamental part of being the main decision maker. Many conflate being dominant with being domineering. Congrats, you dodged a bullet. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 08:18 PM |
| 3 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The Glory Hole Experience'Right. Hopefully if the stars align, the baby naps and the dishes are done, I'll get started on it soon! I have another post in mind too that I've been trying to write down since Wednesday but life hasn't cooperated yet. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 04:33 PM |
| 7 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The Glory Hole Experience'Speaking of which - I've found more acceptance here than in 'theoretically accepting' spaces, despite not fitting in at all with the tradcon crowd. I came here for the WTF factor and stayed for the community. It's nice to be able to disagree vocally about some things and still share others / exchange views. I mean, it's not about me, but thanks for providing this space. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 04:08 PM |
| 11 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The Glory Hole Experience'I was recently wondering if there would interest from the community for a post on how to speak openly about one's desires, bring up sexual fantasies and helping men "get it right" with pleasure. I guess I'll see how people react to this post and I'll have my answer :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 03:57 PM |
| 13 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The Glory Hole Experience'Jenn wanted to choose something un-controversial after the GFE post, eh? 🙃 I'd rather not think about what men do at porn videostores. Though I guess it's not a concern anymore. The talk about DVDs is as vintage as the pin up pics. While I personally find the concept of a glory hole revolting, I appreciate the spirit. Go out of your comfort zone, indulge in fantasies with the liberating knowledge that they're just that - fantasies. They're not real. They're not necessarily something you'd really… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 03:14 PM |
| 3 | Book Club: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Ch. 1: The *Im*proper Care and Feeding of HusbandsOh, I saw that, I just don't think it makes it any better. If you have to bait with extremely bad concepts to get your message across, then it's an extremely bad message already. This stuff is despicable. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 12:34 PM |
| 11 | Book Club: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Ch. 1: The *Im*proper Care and Feeding of HusbandsYou need therapy. I don't say this as a negative thing - I've been to therapy as well and it has helped me immensely. No amount of self help books or make up classes or Reddit posts can solve your issues. But you can. The issue here is not that you are 26 and single. It's time you stop worrying about finding a man "in time" and reading books about miserable marriages, and start taking care about the person YOU are NOW. There's an obvious step that needs to be taken here. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 12:31 PM |
| 3 | Book Club: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Ch. 1: The *Im*proper Care and Feeding of HusbandsI've only read some excerpts from the book but I am afraid there's no much context missed. I thought maybe some of this stuff (as reported in OP's summaries) was just bad phrasing summarizing a more complex concept, but no, it's literal quotes. I'm not going to waste any more time in finding out if mayyybe it's not so bad if I squint my eyes and look at it sideways under the moonlight on a cloudless night on November 13th. It's bad. Really bad. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 11:27 AM |
| 25 | Book Club: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Ch. 1: The *Im*proper Care and Feeding of HusbandsOP, respectfully, from your post history I think you might benefit from a different book than one that tells you "without your husband, you'd be a sorry excuse for a human being". You are not a selfish wife. You are a person who needs to come into herself first. It seems you have a tendency to dive in a little too deep at first, given the many identity crises you've talked about here. You went from being trans to being trad to being Muslim to leaving Islam to coming back to leaving again... You … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/24 01:56 AM |
| 4 | Book Club: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Author’s Note and IntroductionYou're right that the tone/wording of the summary plays a role, but I do find "very simple creature" patronizing, and the whole 'keep his stomach full and his balls empty' message never captures the true nature of intimacy and relationships. The "cook dinner and care for the children without complaint" (aka... do it alone and don't ask for help?) part also gets a massive eyeroll from me, even with being the main homemaker at the moment. I find there might be some good messages in there, but ther… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/24 05:32 PM |
| 10 | Book Club: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Author’s Note and IntroductionNice summary! What did you think of the book? For me, this is like chewing tin foil. I'm not a sorry excuse for a person without my husband. Actually... if anyone would be a sorry excuse for a person without a partner, then that is exactly the person who should NOT be in a relationship. Be your own person first, then you can be part of an "us". Otherwise it's just codependency. The book describes how men are simple creatures, how as long as you meet their needs they will be like “putty” in your … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/24 01:46 PM |
| 2 | Thoughts on telling a man about other men approaching you?Do RPM like when men are attracted to their girlfriends or do they not? Some do, some don't. The only way of knowing is to ask that particular man. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/24 01:40 PM |
| 7 | Finding the RPW Woman: What My Harley Rides Taught Me About RelationshipsOooh I LOVE IT! So happy you wrote this! Nice bike :) For me, riding (passenger) was very far out of my comfort zone, but the first time I got on my husband-then-boyfriend bike I didn't want to get down. It was wonderful. There's such a thrill in feeling the danger and knowing he'll handle it, keep me safe. Plus that confidence and competente are an instanct trigger for attraction. On "holding on": it's hard to get a balance. My husband told me I'm the best passenger he had because I trust him -… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/24 02:56 AM |
| 4 | Finding the RPW Woman: What My Harley Rides Taught Me About RelationshipsI think it's a bit of an oversimplification. The goal is not to be 100% typically feminine and 0% typically masculine. Said as someone who is absolutely thrilled by riding. (Our honeymoon was a brutal, demanding, intense 5000+ miles roadtrip and I loved it, misery in the cold rain and all) | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/24 02:36 AM |
| 3 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The GFE'Great. Then it doesn't apply to you. The whole point of RPW tools is to use what works for you and leave the rest. You still keep conflating the "treat him once in a while" with "your pleasure should never be the focus", which is patently not the point of the post. You asked "If you are rarely, if ever, orgasming with your partner, why would you be incentivized to engage in the GFE?" and I tried to answer as to why it's not a score or a zero sum game. I really don't know what more I can say to d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 08:48 PM |
| 5 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The GFE'You're right, there are reasons. Like being uncomfortable, not attracted, or wanting something "back" - as I mentioned in my first comment 😅 I would not consider those "I don't want to have sex with you / I don't want to please you because you won't please me back" relationships as "happy relationships" though. On a sexual level at least... but if resentment is so strong that a woman won't even give a bj because she won't "get" anything "back", the bedroom is not the only issue. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 08:40 PM |
| 6 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The GFE'Talking about it with my husband, he as well thinks that many women are sexually dissatisfied or inhibited, and it might cause a negative reaction to the GFE idea. However, his perspective was more on the line of "if you are not sexually satisfied, do something about it", which I find much more empowering than just... crossing your arms and waiting for your man to get it? How is this woman's sex life going to get any better if she resorts to reluctant starfish sex because "better experiences" mu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 06:54 PM |
| 1 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The GFE'Oh wow great! Thanks! | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 06:47 PM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: Submissive Behaviour as StrategyI think Delia has pointed you to some resources that are very good. My take on submission would be a summary of these old posts of mine: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/xjtaj3/i_first_learned_submission_on_the_back_of_a_bike/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/xb8ijk/my_submission_is_his_gift_to_me/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/x9bp9g/on_earning_vs_building_trust/ The first in particular would be relevant to the "submission is not passivity" issue. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 06:38 PM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The GFE'Anyway, I'm still waiting on your post about this old post of mine as you had replied "I actually wanted to do a post on what the opposite looks like"... I've got a long memory :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 06:36 PM |
| 6 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The GFE'I appreciate your perspective. First of all, if I were talking to a man whose partner is unsatisfied and unfulfilled, my advice would not be "expect a GFE, it all has to be about you". I hope that's clear. However, if I was talking to a woman who feels unsatisfied, unfulfilled and disconnected, I might maybe recommend trying to give a GFE, among other things. Open communication, honesty, vulnerability, expressing her needs and learning to take her pleasure would be on the list, of course. Litera… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 06:27 PM |
| 5 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The GFE'Honestly I didn't think this post would get pushback. I would have nominated it if you hadn't done it :) I can see why some people might not like it but I don't think it's people in happy relationships. Is "Do something sexual just for his pleasure" that controversial? | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 03:16 PM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The GFE'I generally try to ;) | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 03:12 PM |
| 9 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The GFE'My guess is that some women might feel uncomfortable doing this, which is legitimate even though uncomfortable doesn't equal wrong. And then some might feel that it is somehow demeaning to do it or that their man doesn't "deserve" it. Either lack of attraction or a transactional view of sex. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 02:24 PM |
| 27 | Back to Basics September: 'Girl Game: The GFE'Fourth, you can't talk about yourself. At all. No talk about work, kids, school, friends, family, symptoms, your problems, your hectic schedule, your impossible workload -- once you commit to a GFE, it's all about how much you think of him. I only mentioned our baby three or four times on our last date, surely the first four times don't count! 🥲 Jokes aside. I absolutely love this post. It's probably my favorite wiki post of all times. Pure generosity and care, just the unselfish desire to make … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/24 01:50 PM |
| 1 | In What Ways Did Your Relationship Prepare You for Motherhood?Oh yes! My time is so much more precious now, and my focus is at home. A few years ago I wouldn't have imagined myself caring so little about other stuff, but the priorities are very clear right now. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/09/24 06:40 PM |
| 10 | In What Ways Did Your Relationship Prepare You for Motherhood?Not anything in particular yet, but overall, my husband has helped me become less anxious, more confident and strong, more... conscious of my self-worth. I feel good in my own skin, I feel a good person - a better person because of him. I take care of myself because I'm worth it, I don't let people walk all over me anymore, I can take accountability for myself because I'm strong enough. I can think back at some horrible things in my past and hear him say "I admire you, you are the strongest pers… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/09/24 08:00 PM |
| 1 | Back to Basics September: A Good Relationship Is Built In The BedroomThank you. I've been on both sides and always found it easier to be the one who is accepting "for him" rather than the one who is being rejected or not pursued. I'm always at a loss when that second case happens. Saying yes comes very easy for me, accepting a no is harder. Or even just lack of interest. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/09/24 10:56 AM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: A Good Relationship Is Built In The BedroomI appreciate that the point of the post was not all the stuff I mentioned. One would need to write a book :) it was just what came to mind reading it. Oh yes I don't like "duty sex". Sex is not a duty you owe. It's a gift, and it's nourishment for the relationship. It should come out of generosity and a desire to be with him or make him happy, even if the physical drive is not there. "Duty sex" with no real intimacy can get the woman to feel used or even disgusted, it divides and creates distanc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/09/24 09:16 AM |
| 3 | Back to Basics September: A Good Relationship Is Built In The BedroomAnd when that happened, my sex drive shot way up! I just wanted to fuck! It would have been difficult to go back to a steady sex life had I rejected my husband for 7 years. You know how they say breastfeeding isn't a form of contraception? It was for me. The only 100% effective form lol. Yes one cannot just expect to reject their partner for years and at the same time nurture the relationship. You're already checked out at that point. My biggest frustration right now is that we're both exhausted… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/09/24 02:52 AM |
| 2 | our timelines don't seem to match, when is negotiating timelines worth it? and how to do it?Maybe he'll be ready to marry in 10 years. Maybe if you had met him at a different time, like you wish had happened. The right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person. I'm sorry. I think you already know. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/09/24 09:53 PM |
| 5 | Back to Basics September: A Good Relationship Is Built In The BedroomThis post is a "Yes, and..." for me. I'll clarify. I'm not pushing back, just expanding on the topic. This is a good perspective on the woman who has a lower sex drive than her her partner or has mostly responsive desire. Then there are also women who have a higher sex drive or are getting turned down a lot, or who are stuck in a sexual rut with a partner who also isn't pursuing sex. As a woman who's been on all sides of this issue, it's easy to get recognition on the first scenario (though mayb… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/09/24 09:40 PM |
| 1 | Ladies, please help a gal out…The smell you describe could very well result from an infection, even if the discharge looks normal. You can self-swab for the vaginal swab if it would make you more comfortable. You can't self swab for a cervical swab but you can self insert the speculum. In case it helps. Tampons might be contributing to the issue. Sex toys, underwear and your partner as well if there's an infection going on. It sucks. Good luck! | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/09/24 06:22 PM |
| 2 | Ladies, please help a gal out…It would be the first thing to check if you are having abnormal discharge or smell. Even gentle ACV could be too harsh. You might need a 3.5-5 pH or a 6.5-7 pH dependig on what the issue is. Sometimes it's an issue of overly aggressive detergent. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/09/24 07:01 AM |
| 4 | Field Report: Two weeks after being vulnerable about jealousyThank you for writing this. It's so clear and... real. You've given me some insights in my own relationship. How old is the baby? I had created an environment where it felt impossible to please me. Although he didn’t say it, I feel that it made our relationship another source of pressure to perform for him, and he began checking out. So much is in our own hands, isn't it. I'm happy you could get out of that place. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/24 08:59 PM |
| 4 | Back to Basics September: Submissive Behaviour as StrategySome people come here already convinced to disagree with everything. It gets tiring to discuss with people who are in bad faith and have already decided to misinterpret and misrepresent anything we say. But I also think we don't do ourselves a favor if we just say things at the most extreme. I disagree with a lot of RP, I stick around for the things I agree with or that are still worth discussing - and the absolutism is one of the things I dislike the most. The concept of submission really gets … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/24 05:07 PM |
| 3 | Back to Basics September: Submissive Behaviour as StrategySubmission is not passivity and does not mean "tell your man he's always right even when he's blatantly wrong". Women who want a dominant man aren't idiots who want a tyrant. Dominant men don't want doormats or pretty, passive, silent playthings. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/24 04:03 PM |
| 5 | Just got my black card removed"Leave him!" Uhhh that might be a slight overreaction to the father of your children leaving his socks on the floor. But it's just my opinion. What do I know. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/24 03:50 PM |
| 3 | Back to Basics September: Submissive Behaviour as StrategyI like your approach. I'm afraid when we miss the nuance, we push people away with the extreme wording / shock value. What we do with 'submission' is much more subtle and delicate that "women obey me biggest dick in cave arr arr". | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/24 08:25 AM |
| 6 | Ladies, please help a gal out…Have you got a vaginal and cervical swab? How recently? | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/24 06:03 AM |
| 14 | Just got my black card removedhave 21 year olds in situationships advise you to leave your husband over a problem that could be worked on Lol, I felt this to my core. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/24 05:57 AM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: Submissive Behaviour as StrategyThat was exactly the post I was thinking about when writing this! | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/24 05:53 AM |
| 10 | Back to Basics September: Submissive Behaviour as StrategyI think the "submission" word doesn't really do us a favor here. I am a submissive woman. It's deeply ingrained in me. But I'm not going to tell other women that they should be submissive or that all women have this drive. Saying "women instinctively obey men" is just going to cause a lot of eye rolls. My eyes are rolling. A more palatable way to put it would be... maybe to call it agreeableness, support, and willingness to be vulnerable. "Submission" might apply to some women and not apply to o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/24 08:33 PM |
| 4 | Hypergamy as an InstinctThat would be more of a byproduct of the woman having enough financial stability to divorce and live on her own imo. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/24 08:12 PM |
| 11 | Hypergamy as an InstinctInteresting post! The sections on "recognizing hypergamy" are especially helpful and spot-on imo. You have a new reader for your blog :) If you don't mind a suggestion - maybe splitting such long posts in a 2 or 3 parts serie might help people read them in their entirety and keep the ideas organized. They're so dense with concepts, I got a bit lost reading from top to bottom. Hypergamy is the tendency for women to marry up. Just as a man might try to marry the prettiest partner who will have him… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/24 07:02 PM |
| 3 | Hypergamy as an InstinctWhen a woman "marries up" in terms of social or financial levels, she usually has something else to offer that her partner wants. This has actually been found true, especially now that women generally outperform men in education. Highly educated women tend to marry less educated men who come from a more privileged background / have more resources or higher social status. It's a balance. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/24 06:54 PM |
| 6 | Hypergamy as an InstinctJust wanted to add that we actually have plenty of research showing that men in general place more importance on attractiveness compared to other attributes like social status, education, career, physical prowess, etc while for women it's the reverse. It's pretty clear what women find generally important in a partner, and it's higher social status, resources, and signs of healthy levels of testosterone. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/24 06:52 PM |
| 1 | Back to Basics September: Hypergamy is MonogamyThat's a very good choice then. I've been reading your comments around here lately - may I ask what's your interest in the sub? | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/24 05:40 PM |
| 2 | Back To Basics September: Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingI agree mostly, you bring up good points. I do not think that girls looking for an occasional threesome are representative of women in general, but yes, these women do exist. Hookup culture isn't really doing a favor to anyone. I remember feeling that I "should" not have anything against occasional sex even if deep down I was repulsed by the idea. But most women I know still don't engage in occasional sex. Those who do, in my experience, are obviously... looking for something in the wrong place.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/24 05:37 PM |
| 2 | Back To Basics September: Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingWell the general red pill line is to disparage women for following their tingles. Unfiltered opinion: disparaging women for going after attractive men is what I'd expect from an unattractive man. Physical attraction is so so important long term. I do not mean he needs to be handsome, there are plenty of men who are attractive despite being 'ugly', short, overweight or whatever. But he does need to be able to awaken that desire. Being repeatedly approached - and at some point, repeatedly rejectin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/24 07:05 AM |
| 1 | Back To Basics September: Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingWhy do you think it's hard to push? Sometimes I find it hard to tell if a woman is genuinely not into this man or if no one will ever be good enough for her. But why is it hard because of sexual attraction in particular, I mean? | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/24 08:38 PM |
| 2 | Back to Basics September: Hypergamy is MonogamyI think there's going to be some individual variation. We're talking broad generalizations here. As always, take what's helpful, leave what's unhelpful. Could it be because you've only ever been in a relationship with men you genuinely felt were "the best"? Or even if you didn't, your focus when leaving was "to do better alone", not "to find someone better"? I think leaving a relationship because you ("general" you) would rather be single is much better than leaving because you're constantly cha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/24 08:33 PM |
| 5 | Back to Basics September: Hypergamy is MonogamyAttraction happens to anyone. What you choose to do with that attraction matters. You cannot control out-of-the-blue thoughts or normal, healthy physical reactions, but you can control your actions. I do think it happens to women too. Noticing someone just happens, be it physically or emotionally. "Yeah, he looks great" and file it away among the myriad of inconsequential random thoughts - ok. Starting to fantasize about him - not ok. A lot also comes down to "don't ask questions you don't want … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/24 07:08 PM |
| 1 | Back to Basics September: Hypergamy is MonogamyI was originally going to write that one shouldn't be blindly loyal to two weeks boyfriend... honest and faithful, yes - but "I'm on your side no matter what, because it's you" loyalty, just like submission, is for LTR/husbands. But to be honest? I was 100% loyal to my now husband after two weeks. Heck, after two days. For all I cared about others, he was the only man on Earth. But the experience with leaving the boyfriend did make me very aware of hypergamy and I've been very vigilant ever sinc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/24 06:58 PM |
| 3 | This subreddit might change my lifePlease do! | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/24 06:52 PM |
| 3 | Back To Basics September: Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingI like this post. It's important to be aware of the hypergamy urge... because you want to find a man that curbs it. That doesn't leave you wanting to look for someone better. Hypergamy is a great aid in vetting. If you want someone better, you don't want this man. And wanting this man to be just like he is except more romantic, or more dominant, or whatever... at some point, it just becomes "I don't want this man". Because he is who he is. In a committed relationship, I do think that constantly … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/24 04:26 PM |
| 2 | Back To Basics September: Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingThe big key though is that you need to be sure that you aren't simply jumping to what you think is better. If hypergamy is tickling your brain (or your bits) and you realize you are better without this guy period then it's probably true that you are better without him. If you are only willing to leave because there is someone else, seemingly available, then that's a questionable decision. So yea, exactly what you are saying here. I don't have anything to add except I agree! | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/24 04:06 PM |
| 7 | Back to Basics September: Hypergamy is MonogamyYes, it's hypergamy. That was the point of saying "hypergamy can be a vetting tool, if you notice that this man doesn't compare then you're not into him, move on". And the example followed. No, I did not cheat. I already knew my husband and saw him with other friends for a celebration. I broke up with the new boyfriend the day after. I was already regretting the relationship and thinking how I could get out without being a bitch - realizing that I was very much attracted to Old Friend only highl… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/24 03:16 PM |
| 4 | This subreddit might change my lifeYou'll do great. It's ok for priorities to change, it's ok to realize personal relationships are the center of your life. It's ok to be vulnerable and depend on someone. We are not an island, we're all interdependent. You don't have to be any less capable, smart, or accomplished to be a good partner. But if you're feeling like you're managing both of your lives and overriding your man, or like you have to control everything or else it will all come crashing down the moment you lose your grip, th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/24 10:25 AM |
| 6 | This subreddit might change my lifeJFYI, there are many women here who actually work and provide a substantial financial contribution to their household, or who even have supported their partners through unemployment. The dynamic issues OP mentions do not depend on how much money she makes or whether her man is financially the main provider. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/24 08:40 AM |
| 22 | Back to Basics September: Hypergamy is MonogamyA woman won't just get angry at a cheater. She'll get hurt and insecure. Congratulations! You have just shattered whatever sense of emotional safety and protection you could ever provide your woman. I hope she gets out before she catches syphilis. That aside. I think being aware of our own hypergamy i very good, as we risk ruining our relationship from the inside. Oh, it's a good vetting tool in the early stages. If you're constantly comparing a man you're vetting to your exes or your friends' m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/24 07:02 AM |
| 3 | [Discussion] Red Stop SignsPeople who are always the victim and never take responsibility for their own shortcomings. There's one common denominator, and it's not "everyone else". | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/09/24 01:50 PM |
| 1 | Fiancé made me quit my favourite hobby and resentment is buildingAbsolutely agree! | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/09/24 07:45 AM |
| 1 | Fiancé made me quit my favourite hobby and resentment is buildingThe question is not if bellydancing is a hobby, it's if it has a sexual connotation or not. Splitting hairs about how watching it is different than being watched is a pretty clear answer for me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/09/24 07:44 AM |
| 1 | Fiancé made me quit my favourite hobby and resentment is buildingOh, I kind of expected to get downvoted. Which is funny given the sub we're in, but not surprising. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/09/24 07:11 AM |
| 5 | Fiancé made me quit my favourite hobby and resentment is buildingI think the "but it's not sexual" issue would be turned around very quickly if the issue was, say, an engaged/married man whose hobby is to go out at a restaurant and watch other (usually almost naked) women bellydance. Or specifically pay other women to belly dance for him. See if most women wouldn't find that sexual. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/09/24 10:09 AM |
| 4 | Fiancé made me quit my favourite hobby and resentment is buildingRespect goes both ways. Men don't just automatically get more respect because they are men. A man automatically gets your respect if you are in a relationship with him. There is no real relationship without respect. It's assumed you gained your respect prior to the engagement, otherwise WHY would you get engaged to a man you don't find worthy of respect? Of course, this does not mean the woman is not equally worthy of respect. But it's not a tit-for-tat, it's a prerequisite. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/09/24 09:56 AM |
| 12 | Fiancé made me quit my favourite hobby and resentment is buildingThe moment you consider leaving and only stay because "leaving would be logistically hard"... you have your answer. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/09/24 09:53 AM |
| 4 | Fiancé made me quit my favourite hobby and resentment is buildingSince OP is not dancing in all-female spaces to ritually celebrate fertility, but in a Western context with a Western mixed audience that is going to pick up the sexual not-so-sub-text, I think it's pretty accurate in these circumstances. Wiggling your scantily clad boobs, waist and butt in front of a male audience can hardly be conceptualized as non-sexual. This is not a value judgement, just a realistic take. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/09/24 09:51 AM |
| 2 | [Discussion] RPW: a balance between traditional and modernityOh no, my baby is an angel, I burned the loaf while I was staring at it 🤣 | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/24 08:30 PM |
| 5 | [Discussion] RPW: a balance between traditional and modernityI think tradcon is mostly bad cosplay. And the good cosplays are just people leaving a normal life. I find it funny that "trad" means "what some people's grandparents of a specific race, with a specific socioeconomic status, did specifically 70 years ago in a specific place". Any time I hear that the calling of every woman is to stay home my eyes roll to the back of my head. I work. I love my job, I worked hard for it, I am deeply passionate about it. I earn well and we like the dual income, but… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/24 08:10 PM |
| 2 | [Discussion] RPW: a balance between traditional and modernityThere's people with 4 under 4 painting the whole house on their own and then there's me, one child, proud of myself because I managed to bake two loaves of bread and only burn one. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/24 07:53 PM |
| 3 | Why is this sub not similar to actual Red Pill at all?"We" need new mods? I'm trying really hard to find any contribution you've made to this subreddit. I can't find any. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/07/24 11:58 PM |
| 6 | What do you do to have your husbands willing to have sex during peak days?It sometimes happen that way when TTC, as the mental switch from "having fun" to "gotta do this to have a baby" can put a performative spin to it... and sex as a performance is hard. Twice a week is absolutely enough to conceive without issues (meaning, conceive within 12 cycles for couples with no infertility issue). You don't need to do it 4 days in a row or every other day during your fertile window. If you have sex about every 3 days, you either hit ovulation day or the couple of days prior,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/07/24 11:40 AM |
| 15 | What do you do to have your husbands willing to have sex during peak days?Is there a reason you have to time intercourse? How's your sex life otherwise? If there's no fertility issue, and you are having sex regularly (~twice a week), you really don't need to schedule intercourse. Having sex when the mood struck is how our entire species has survived for, oh, a few hundred thousand years or so. Since our desire is heavily influeced by ovulation, things should work themselves out. It can be incredibly off putting to feel your partner doesn't desire you genuinely, and on… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/07/24 11:59 AM |
| 1 | Advice for how to manage in a situation with a potentially great man who isn’t currently in a place to commit?My husband calls them the Siddharta type. Men who run into new-age circles with a deep spiritual look in their eyes because they know it will get them laid. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/07/24 12:48 PM |
| 10 | Advice for how to manage in a situation with a potentially great man who isn’t currently in a place to commit?The right person at the wrong time is simply not the right person. Why would you keep having sex and get attached to him? | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/07/24 04:39 PM |
| 1 | To B or to DD: Where do you draw a line for your partner’s preference regarding your appearance?If he cares about it more than I do, then I follow his preference. I feel short hair is more practical but I don't really hate long hair, while my husband absolutely loves it. Of course, he says it's entirely my choice if I cut it or not and that he's find be beautiful regardless... but I know he loves it long, so I accept the inconvenience of a longer hair routine just to please him. He also likes it when I wear my hair down, but I hate the feeling of loose hair around my face, so I reserve tha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/06/24 09:35 AM |
| 3 | Partner doesn’t compliment my appearance?I think it could work for playful, over-the-top compliment fishing. Like "ah! Sister told me my hair is beautiful today! Have YOU got anything to tell me?" with silly smug face and an exxagerated hair flip. I'd go extra obvious rather than setting up covert expectations. But that depends heavily on the couple dynamic. Some men find this stuff endearing, others might hate it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/24 10:17 PM |
| 2 | Partner doesn’t compliment my appearance?He always tells me of course he thinks I’m attractive and that he thinks I’m beautiful but never really has given me an answer as to why he doesn’t vocalize it? Because he doesn't speak womanese. It sounds like a simple translation issue. Compliments come naturally to you and are a deep desire of yours. Men in general don't derive nearly as much enjoyment as women from compliments on their appearance, and don't place as much weight on them. You can try to have a deep conversation about it, but y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/24 09:55 PM |
| 2 | Partner doesn’t compliment my appearance?I think genuinely sharing a positive interaction can be good. Anecdotally, my husband always reacts positively when someone else notices me non-sexually. I don't think it makes him any more prone to verbalize compliments, but it feels good. But that is genuine. Engineering opportunities for your man to overhear compliments directed at you, faking catcalls and sexual attention, posting photos on social media to show him how much attention you get... no. That's just fake. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/24 09:42 PM |
| 5 | Should I be ok with getting married only in a church, without getting a marriage license?It depends entirely on the laws of your country - what protections does marriage offer, how is divorce handled, etc. People who reject a legal marriage are always thinking about divorce. I think more of living actual married life. Healthcare benefits, joint assets, can you make decisions for him, what happens if one of you is incapacitated or dies, retirement funds... if he's legally a stranger, how does it work? | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/24 04:05 PM |
| 9 | Partner doesn’t compliment my appearance?Another sneaky thing that might work but is slightly manipulative is casually mentioning to him how you’ve been getting so many cat calls lately and people have been telling you you’re just glowing. Even get dressed up and have friends or family tell you you are so beautiful while he is in earshot. This would work well if you post photos on social media as well. It might peak his attention a bit. Don't. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/24 08:05 AM |
| 22 | Partner doesn’t compliment my appearance?I have brought up before that I feel a little sad sometimes because he never says anything nice about how I look "I love when you say X, it makes me feel so beautiful" Different angle. No criticism. Easier for him to win. I know you don't mean it as criticism, and he probably didn't take it as such, but "you never do X and it makes me sad" might not be the best way to word it. If you want something from him, the easiest way is to make it easy and enjoyable for him. Some people simply do not verb… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/24 07:54 AM |
| 13 | Was I wrong? Husband had 1 hour sports massage (I bought him for Father’s Day); I got nails done. Both had 1 hour free time, rest spent with our child together. He wanted an extra hour for playing a game on his phone and said the massage didn’t count as free time because it was a gift.Also note; for the last two Mother’s Day (my first two), he hasn’t done anything at all for me, no gift or flowers even. I found the whole thing strange. I mean this very, very gently: you didn't find it strange. You found it hurtful and disappointing. Have you ever expressed it to your husband? | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/06/24 08:17 AM |
| 2 | Budgeting 101: How To Live Simply As A Domestic, Traditional WomanWow, aren't you miserable. | /r/RedPillWives | 22/06/24 05:19 PM |
| 3 | Postpartum woesYes, it was very hard to speak up, but you're right, parents make the rules. When you're new to this, it seems everyone but the parents knows what to do, doesn't it? It takes time to get confident. I guess I didn't want to be the "crazy new mom" and I could tell I was getting irrationally reactive over anything that I saw as a possible threat to the baby, even very minor things. I had a very hard time letting anyone but me hold her, especially when she was crying. Of course it was all normal and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/24 07:32 PM |
| 3 | Postpartum woesEdit:I very much appreciate the disagreement :) Sorry, I had missed your edit and my super long initial reply probably doesn't answer your questions 😅 I'll try to be more concise. ("You" is always general here) Give up stuff that doesn't matter, sure. But how do you still do the bare minimum of keeping a household going, which can be a lot in itself with a newborn? I have discovered the bare minimum is much less than what I thought. My initial reply is all about it. Once you are fed and clothed … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/24 04:50 PM |
| 3 | Postpartum woesOh, this is going to make me sound crazy, but for context, we live in the country and have pets... so we get an inordinate amount of dirt, pet hair and litter everywhere. I could spend all day cleaning and things would still get dirty five minutes later (well, not horribly dirty, just not perfectly clean). I want things to STAY clean, but the only way would be to keep cleaning them, over and over. It was manageable pre-baby, but it was very hard to find the time and energy with a horrible sleep … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/06/24 04:17 PM |
| 3 | Postpartum woesHave a lot of grace for each other (and for yourself). It's one of the most challenging times you'll go through as a couple... which means it's the time grace is most needed, and most difficult to give. I'm sure you're both doing your best. Regarding your other comment about 12 hours alone with the baby: take a breath. It's so hard, and it's not your fault. My midwife told me "we are not meant to be all alone all day with a baby", and it's so true. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/24 06:44 PM |
| 2 | Postpartum woesA mother of six that I totally adore said not to compare my season of motherhood to another mother's season of motherhood. Adding - yes. This is so true. "You make it look so easy, I feel I can't do anything right waaaaaah T.T" "This is the fourth time I'm doing it. You should have seen me with my first." was an actual conversation. It sounds obvious but it was eye-opening. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/24 01:42 PM |
| 3 | Postpartum woesOh my God yes. Also wanting a break from the baby so I could sleep, but not being able to sleep if the baby wasn't right beside me. Tell me I wasn't the only one 😅 | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/24 01:37 PM |
| 4 | Postpartum woesThe most detrimental thing to my postpartum experience was social media and the whiplash on my algorithm between the parenthood is terrible hot mess moms and the sacrifice yourself for motherhood tradwives. YES. I got off social media because it's such a mess. On one hand you have the "if you're finding it hard you're doing something wrong" holier-than-thou attitude. On the other hand you have "anything is a giant issue poor me" victim mentality that only reinforces itself in an iper-neurotic ne… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/24 01:34 PM |
| 3 | Postpartum woesThank you for sharing. Rest and recovery are absolutely a priority, but it can be so hard when you don't have a support network. I spent the first few weeks in bed or on the sofa, nursing non-stop, and sometimes I was DYING to just get up and do something. But then sometimes I had so much to do that I got overwhelmed and resentful. Honestly it took me at least 3 months to find a balance. Finding it hard does not mean you love your baby any less. Breastfeeding is (personally) so rewarding but abs… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/24 01:07 PM |
| 1 | Postpartum woesThanks! | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/24 12:51 PM |
| 6 | Postpartum woesThank you for sharing. Yeah... I get some of these things you talk about. I knew to expect some intrusive tuoughts, they're surprisingly common. Absolutely terrifying, still. The middle of the night rage surprised me though. I wasn't in denial exactly. I knew all about PPD, and I didn't think I'd be somehow immune. I had all the resources to understand what was happening. It still happened. I still couldn't do what I needed to do. Knowing it and doing it were worlds apart, in that fog. To get PP… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/06/24 08:24 AM |
| 5 | Dealing with a sweet partner who is an annoying passengerAre you able to have a conversation and drive at the same time? Talk about something else. Ignore his comments on your driving. If not, "I need some quiet so I can focus, thank you." And then ignore him. Or just ask him to drive every time. Who cares if it's in your city, he can manage. (Unless you're not comfortable letting him drive your car) | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/06/24 08:40 PM |
| 3 | Who do you deal with your partner's high pressure jobs?Be his soft place to land. Getting home should be the time when he can finally let a breath out. What does he need when he gets home? I'd ask him. Maybe he needs to get a drink and have a few minutes to himself. Maybe he finds a tidy, comfortable place relaxing, or maybe he couldn't care less if the house is a mess as long as he can sit down and relax. Maybe he wants your company or to chat over a hot meal. For my husband, I know getting home to a smile is what he needs, so I always stop what I'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/06/24 11:08 AM |
| 2 | What Working with Executive Men Has Taught Me About Submissiveness as a StrategyI think in your story, it was a bit different because you said "I'll think about it" and then actually thought about it. I took u/Jenneapolis example as saying "I'll think about it" while actually meaning just no. Maybe I misinterpreted? One thing I missed in my first reply - I'm totally in favor of taking time to think and revisiting an issue later if it's going nowhere / needs some reflection. I'm more of a "Yes!" type, so if the "No"s are becoming an issue, my solution would be to say Yes mor… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/24 09:16 PM |
| 2 | What Working with Executive Men Has Taught Me About Submissiveness as a StrategyIf I'm right, women perceive a delayed no as hesitating to lead. Men perceive a delayed no as respect. Let's find out if I'm right I think it's too personal and, as Ark pointed out, cultural to make a gender generalization. I also see women and very agreeable people (so... women) actually being more sensitive to a direct approach and so employing/appreciating an indirect No more. In my husband's case, he does the indirect/delayed no thing (especially with others, less with me) because he doesn't… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/24 07:46 AM |
| 3 | What Working with Executive Men Has Taught Me About Submissiveness as a StrategyYou're absolutely right. I come from a more blunt/"cold" culture. I also have issues reading subtext so I might be a bit oblivious to a soft no, and having to constantly navigate indirect communication would mean social death for me :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/24 07:34 AM |
| 7 | What Working with Executive Men Has Taught Me About Submissiveness as a StrategyEasing the tension, reminding the Captain that it can and will get better, or distracting with boobies! are all good, valuable practices. Lol. I randomly flash my husband during disagreements/hard times, "just to make it better". Good to know it's an endorsed strategy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/24 07:29 AM |
| 4 | What Working with Executive Men Has Taught Me About Submissiveness as a StrategyDo you think this approach might be different coming from a woman to a man vs a man to a woman? No, I don't think so. It's more of an agreeable vs disagreeable difference. If anything, I'd expect men to like more of a direct approach, being in general more disagreeable. In my specific case, my husband does the indirect no thing, but he still gets frustratred when I do it and it later becomes clear I mean no. I don't see a difference here. However, I can see how it would become an issue if one wa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/24 07:24 AM |
| 2 | What Working with Executive Men Has Taught Me About Submissiveness as a StrategyI was more so referring to large conflicts, something like should we have a second kid or not, I want to buy a new car, let’s move. In this case I think it's even more important to be transparent and upfront. "I'm not convinced, give me a few days to think about it." or "I don't think it's a good idea, because..." are better than implying "maybe" when you really mean No. "We'll see" leaves no room for discussion. When my husband says it, I know it will be a no, but I don't really know what he's … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/24 11:24 PM |
| 3 | What Working with Executive Men Has Taught Me About Submissiveness as a StrategyThis was great to read! 1. They want problems solved. I love how you break it down in three steps. Very useful. They don’t want to be told what to do and language matters. Yes, but also... if you're naturally blunt, then find someone who can handle bluntness. If my husband asks me for advice, he gets my advice plain and simple. He doesn't need to "save face" as you put it, because there is nothing shameful about asking for advice or about doing what someone else says. Getting defensive over advi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/06/24 11:02 PM |
| 5 | Agreeable Women, What Tactics Have Worked for You in Dating/Marriage?Interesting question. Talking about Big5 results: I'm somewhat disagreeable in general (so, very disagreeable for woman) while my husband is quite agreeable. However, Reddit flames aside :), I am hesitant to show I am disagreeable in social situations, while my husband is not. So I often appear agreeable just because I'm insecure. Two things help: Do not say "Ok" if something is not ok. It creates false premises, grows distance and causes more conflict down the line. This goes for both of us. Sh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/24 07:02 PM |
| 2 | Boyfriend hesitant to propose due to his past - how to navigate next steps?You could tell yourself that your role is just to listen and hear what he says. I love this approach! | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/24 10:32 AM |
| 3 | Advice re houseworkUgh, I had typed out a 60-minutes reply and the browser crashed. A few points: Housework needs to fit around your shifts. You won't have a regular schedule and you won't have as much time as before. Find ways to work smarter - meal prep, smaller trash bins, put things away (not down!) after you're done with them, etc. Get as much rest as possible and find a good sleep rhythm that goes with your shifts. Self care. Don't overwork yourself just to get resentful of your family. Better a peaceful hom… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/24 06:28 AM |
| 2 | Boyfriend hesitant to propose due to his past - how to navigate next steps?If you don't want to buy a house before engagement, and you're talking about buying a house, then you need to bring it up. Don't move in a direction you don't like. "I'd love to, but I can't." Especially - as I read in your replies -if the idea to buy a house together came up because he can't afford a nice place on his own, and not because you've been making concrete family plans. (Bluntly put - talking about making plans someday is not making plans.) Same with the contraception issue. These are… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/06/24 09:15 PM |
| 2 | Blogpost: Advice for prospective young SAHMSYou bring up good points, I think this post simply had a different angle. It's not "how to choose a man" or "what to do immediately in case of an emergency", it's more "what you can do now in your life as a single young woman". On point 1: yup, the "learn a trade" advice should involve a field that can be easily re-entered. It doesn't have to be complicated, even cleaning or waitressing will give you skills you can fall back to in case of need. If it's a field that requires some standard to stay… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/24 10:50 AM |
| 7 | Blogpost: Advice for prospective young SAHMSAbsolutely. Especially when there are children involved, life insurance is a must. We're dual-income and we both carry life and disability insurance. My husband also invested some money in our child's name - the money will be hers when she turns 18, and no one else will be able to access it should something happen to us. Ideally it's her college fund, but should she find herself in a bad home without us, it will be enough for her to move out. It breaks my heart to think about the possibility, bu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/06/24 05:53 PM |
| 7 | Fear about going all inGreat! Once you have met and gauged how it is in-person, you can start making decisions. You can decide to close the distance in a LDR when you actually are in a relationship. Your fear about going all-in is telling you something - you're rushing your plans. Listen to it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/24 07:04 AM |
| 1 | Do you guys have any workout advice?Thank you for such indepth advice! | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/24 06:55 PM |
| 14 | Fear about going all inYes, end things with Guy 1. After 5 dates, if it's this lukewarm, it's not a good match. Things with Guy 2 sound much warmer and promising but slow down! Don't upend your life for someone you haven't met. Are you planning on meeting him? When? | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/24 06:47 PM |
| 2 | Job suggestions?I think your best option would be something with quick and inexpensive qualifications - healtchare assistant maybe? It doesn't make much sense to spend years and a ton of money on a career that would only last a few years, especially if you want to save up some money in a short time. If there's any decent job in the field you graduated from, I'd consider looking for one even temporarily, just for the money - it doesn't have to be your dream job. But I don't know if fashion actually offers any en… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/06/24 07:04 AM |
| 9 | Job suggestions?This question has been asked here many many times, a search for "job" or "career" will give you some ideas. Jobs like nannying or teaching get usually recommended but I think there's many other options. Taking care of elderly people might be an option since you already have some experience. If you only have 3 days a week available, you might not find a stable job - just a few days here or there to give the main caregiver some time off, odd hours, nights... it's usually decent pay and doesn't req… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/24 12:35 PM |
| 1 | Are you honest about dating other men?Can you move the date with Man B? Is he someone you text throughout the day as well or it would require less explanation? Or say your throat hurts and reschedule with both on different days. You don't want to lie about it and you don't want to give the explanation that you're on a date. I don't think hinting at another date would go well either. I'd just change the dates entirely and get out of it. (However, if you text with Man A everyday about what you're doing, what happens when you do go on … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/06/24 07:52 AM |
| 1 | 36 too old for dating apps?I see OP deleted the post. I'm not surprised. Ironically, I'm usually the one to argue that RP theory places too much weight on age and that the so-called wall is not an expiration date... but we can't kid ourselves that the opposite extreme is true either. Blaming men for liking what they like is not going to help. If we try to openly understand what men like, we can use it to our advantage. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/24 09:19 PM |
| 3 | 36 too old for dating apps?What I gather from your post here: You're almost 37, overweight, an addict in recovery (congrats on 13 months!), with declining looks, a history of breaking off multiple engagements, a desire to stsrt a family (realistically) around 40, and very high standards for a man. Is it true? Does it sound good or bad? I mean no offense here. I'm describing what I read. Would you get offended if a man described you as I just did? You have high standards for men, and those will be men with options. So, you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/24 08:15 PM |
| 10 | In a healthy relationship, would someone withhold information? Read for contextLet's say we all agree with you that this type of communication is immature. Let's even call it an unhealthy relationship. What then? Lack of intimacy can make a woman resentful. But do you think a petty reaction is going to help with that? | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/24 08:35 PM |
| 3 | My boyfriend is great on all aspects, except he’s incredibly messy…But how things are now feels a bit unfair considering I am also helping him pay for half the bills, rent and food. Oh, it's a completely different situation then, and I can see why it feels unbalanced. You're putting in the work of a stay at home partner while putting in the money of a roommate. So, you're navigating this kind of conflict on unclear premises - do you approach it as a girlfriend or as a roommate? It gets tricky. My suggestion in your situation would be to seek a new arrangement w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/06/24 02:32 AM |
| 4 | My boyfriend is great on all aspects, except he’s incredibly messy…I even do all the laundry by myself. He’s never done the laundry, and even when he lived at home his sister would do it for him. This one might be my biggest issue as I feel like it’s the bare minimum a person should be able to do for themselves as an adult. It’s embarrassing that your sister did the laundry for you, because why? I would never accept this. I struggle to understand this. How can someone be so comfortable with someone else doing everything for you? I would start by letting go of t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/06/24 06:19 PM |
| 3 | WEEKLY OYS - May 30th 2024OYS Number: 7 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: late 20s, married, 1 child (7 mo) Gratitude list: 1. The weather was nice this week. Sunny days put me in such a good mood. 2. I got semi-decent sleep most nights! 3. Husband cooked dinner every night. I got half an hour completely to myself while he did. 4. Baby has been super fun to be with all week. 5. We had a wonderful mini-roadtrip on Sunday. 6. Husband built a changing table to fit our wonky space. Super toughtful, he's always making m… | /r/RedPillWives | 01/06/24 03:43 PM |
| 22 | I’m not sure if I’m being overly controlling around my husband’s bad moods or if there’s a problem.I remember your previous posts. I'm going to preface this by saying your husband seems to have serious anger issues. Have you talked about it with anyone in real life since you last posted here? You can't sweet talk anyone out of anger issues. Sure, you can try not to anger them, but for what I've seen with yellers - the more you walk on eggshells around them, the more they feel justified in lashing out when you slip. The issue with yellers is that maybe you are doing something that can legitima… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/06/24 09:34 AM |
| 22 | How Do You Know if You Have Found a Man with "Matching Luggage?"I hope you're at least having fun trolling us. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/24 05:57 PM |
| 3 | No proposal after yearsPoint blank saying ultimatums are bad is just naive about the way human beings operate. Most people don’t make certain decisions until they’re quite literally forced to for good or bad So... do most men never commit until they are forced? Do most women? Do most couples operate on ultimatums? I disagree. And even if it were the majority of cases, -which I don't think it is - it wouldn't make it a good thing. Assuming there’s something wrong with the relationship because a proposal should come mag… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 09:27 PM |
| -2 | Well.. this is easier said than done! Whew.Absolutely. This is why vetting is important. That level of messiness and uncleanliness can be seen without living together though. I am mostly against cohabitating before engagement or marriage (if marriage is the desired outcome), because it carries long-term consequences without the security of long-term commitment. You don't need to live together to see how that person handles housechores. To specificy, for the couples I was talking about, the husbands' messiness is still in the realm of "sa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 12:27 PM |
| 5 | Well.. this is easier said than done! Whew.I know closely many women who say "We should have lived together before marriage, I wouldn't have married him if I had known". The funny thing is - their husband's messiness is rarely the real issue. How these women choose to handle the messiness has a much bigger impact on the marriage. And then they wonder why these hen-pecked husbands turn distant. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 08:49 AM |
| 2 | Well.. this is easier said than done! Whew.I also think you might benefit from reading the replies to this older thread. I'll dig up more relevant threads if they come to mind. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 08:25 AM |
| 2 | Well.. this is easier said than done! Whew.Sometimes there’s days where it all lays on me and it overwhelms me so much Disclaimer: I run into the same recurrent issue so I might be assuming some things. If the assumptions are wrong, please correct me! Self care. That would include doing things that make you happy / make you feel good / are positive for you, AND stop doing things that are too much for you. Don't run yourself ragged for someone else's benefit, only to grow resentful and then throw in their face "all you do for them". Learn… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 08:23 AM |
| 3 | Meeting my man’s sexual needs and my own emotional needsHe usually tells me that what I think isn’t happening or isn’t possible which I think he truly believes so not manipulation. Could you make a few examples? | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 12:49 AM |
| 14 | No proposal after yearsI am appalled at the number of replies suggesting OP should negotiate commitment with an ultimatum, or point blank leave him. You don't negotiate commitment. OP, it doesn't mean you should wait around passively, or throw the whole relationship away. But don't give an ultimatum to extort what should be given freely, enthusiastically. The bad aftertaste would never leave your mouth. (Edit: it doesn mean that you can't talk about it either. But an ultimatum puts it into an adversarial tone. Talking… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 12:24 AM |
| 6 | No proposal after yearsYeah, because if her boyfriend doesn't want to marry her, becoming a single mother in her late 30s is going to massively improve OP's chances in the dating market... | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 12:08 AM |
| 1 | Ways to prepare/work on myself before dating and marriage?However, what if she is smart to the point that every time he mentions something like an interesting fact or something, she intellectually retorts against his point and turns it into a science debate, even over small nuance instead of just enjoying the topic? That's not being smart, it's wanting to sound smart while actually being insufferable. I don't disagree with your points. It's a balance, as in everything. Some things need to be complementary and others needs to be similar, but the particu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/24 12:02 AM |
| 1 | Ways to prepare/work on myself before dating and marriage?You're doing great. I'm sorry for your loss... let grief work itself out while you live your life. (Does the phrasing make sense?) I've found grief handles itself if you manage to breath through it, live through it - it becomes part of your story, but not the most important part. You have SO MUCH ahead of you. Take care! | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 09:32 PM |
| 11 | How can I find a guy who would want a housewife?I've been in a DnD group where everyone had pronouns that were probably different from last year. LOL | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 05:49 PM |
| 2 | Ways to prepare/work on myself before dating and marriage?It's entirely valid to have wishes for your future, while also acknowledging that you're not ready to directly pursue them right now. You're wise to take time after your loss. I think you've been given good advice. I'm going to take a slightly different perspective on the issue. I don't know if you're at risk of doing this, but I'd caution you against making that desired future the whole focus of your life, to the point you don't place any weight on what you're doing now and derive no satisfacti… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 04:51 PM |
| 2 | Ways to prepare/work on myself before dating and marriage?I find this perspective really interesting but I think it's overlooking a very important thing: You need to be complementary where it matters and similar where it matters. "Where it matters" gets defined by your individual preferences and personalities, but a general "be feminine where he's masculine" works well for complementarity, as your comment articulates. Similarity... well, a man who's looking for a wife is looking for so much more than sex. You don't need a wife to have sex, or even chil… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 10:22 AM |
| 4 | Boyfriend just confessed to being an alcoholic - not sure where to go from hereAdding to the questions - do you have any idea what addictions recovery looks like, how long it takes, how life with an addict or recovered addict is? I ask this because you wanted him to "snap into reality", and nothing magically snaps with addiction. I'm sorry. I'm being blunt here, but I don't mean to be harsh. Addiction has horrific consequences for everyone involved, and I don't think you fully realize it... especially after having such a drunk, middle-of-the-night, emotional conversation. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/05/24 09:18 AM |
| 7 | Boyfriend just confessed to being an alcoholic - not sure where to go from hereHe is actually the most put together guy I have ever been with. Except, you know, that tiny addiction issue. has said he values responsibility and accountability). Classic addict talk. He started apologizing and saying that he was sorry and that he cares about me so much and that I mean the world to him. Classic addict talk. Then he got worried that I was trying to break up with him and he said he didn't want me to break up with him this way. Classic addict talk. He said he wanted to move more i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/05/24 08:51 AM |
| – | Should I withhold sex till marriage?I am truly surprised at what you and u/ArkNemesis00 are telling me! My fault for thinking I know it all :P I'm from Europe so I know there are some differences but I thought since canon law and sacraments are the same everywhere, requirements for marriage wouldn't vary so much. Having to move is exactly one of the reasons a couple here might ask the priest to move up the wedding. I can't fathom the priest saying no because he doesn't want to change the marriage prep schedule 😅 maybe it's the fac… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/05/24 06:16 AM |
| 1 | Should I withhold sex till marriage?Oops, maybe I should have mentioned I'm in Europe... gotta learn German for the Vegas wedding 🤣 | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/05/24 05:31 AM |
| 1 | Should I withhold sex till marriage?Six MONTHS? I am shocked. It's usually a weekend seminar where I live. Six weeks max if you're meeting once a week for 1-2 hours. The couple can also request individual preparation with a priest or deacon if there's a reason. I know a few couples who decided/had to get married sooner than intended, and they all had no issues. I think there mignt some cultural/administrative - rather than religious - differences at play here. I didn't know there were such huge differences on the matter... six mon… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 09:51 PM |
| 1 | Should I withhold sex till marriage?Oh, got it, I misinterpreted! | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 08:25 PM |
| 7 | Should I withhold sex till marriage?convalidation is a fairly simple process for confirmed Catholics. Except the part where you live in mortal sin for however long it takes to sit down and convalidate the marriage....? A good priest will ABSOLUTELY bump up a wedding if the couple wants to get married sooner, especially if they explain they're living in mortal sin and wish to remedy the situation. The only wait required is that of the "background check" (proof that you're confirmed, not previous married, etc.). A wedding can take p… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 08:17 PM |
| 7 | Should I withhold sex till marriage?I love him and want to be w him and our relationship isn’t perfect but I have hope that w time things will get better Please pause for a bit here. You're getting married hoping that the relationship will improve in the future? You don't sound convinced about this marriage... at all. You get married to choose something for life. Please don't get married when you're already dissatisfied. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 07:10 PM |
| 20 | Should I withhold sex till marriage?You literally wrote And also to actually have something to look forward to besides the wedding when we do get married so you need to decide which is it. Are you committed for life already? Do you still need to decide? Does nothing truly change after you HAVE committed for life, and is it nothing to look forward to? Why do you feel you need to "figure out without any clouding whether you truly are right for each other"? What's clouding it? Are you not sure now? Why did you get engaged if you're n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 05:42 PM |
| 19 | Should I withhold sex till marriage?This I am excited for the wedding but it really just feels like we are already married. We are committed, we have plans for the future, we live together, we have sex. So what would marriage change other than a fun wedding? So that made me feel sad. and this To figure out without any clouding whether we truly are right for each other don't add up. Either you are basically "already married", which is a commitment for life, or you still need to figure out whether you are right for each other. So wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 05:29 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 23rd 2024OYS Number: 6 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: late 20s, married, 1 child (6 mo) Gratitude list: I am genuinely happy to see my husband walk through the door everyday. Husband has been incredibly generous with giving me support and time to myself. He's also been tackling some home repairs, cooking dinner most evening, and helping me clean. I've told me I don't expect any of this, but he's adamant I shouldn't be doing it all on my own. I dropped my favorite cup and it broke. Husband went t… | /r/RedPillWives | 24/05/24 08:11 AM |
| 10 | I have no ambitionsIt's not a good time for...? Children? Getting married? Getting engaged? Would you mind giving us a bit more details on your circumstances? I think you missed the most important questions here. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 07:00 AM |
| 12 | Husband lost interest because I gained winter weightI'd like to ask you some clarifying questions first: You mention in your comments that you were anorexic as a young teen. Does he know about it? Does he know anything about handling these issues with a recovered adult? You also mention erectile dysfunction as a possible concern. When did it start? If 'the first month was great', does it mean the issue started after one month? How long has it been going on? Is there any way you can reduce your workload right now? That might include lowering your … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 05:10 AM |
| 6 | Husband lost interest because I gained winter weightWhat makes you think "doormat" of all the advice you received? It's all stuff YOU can actively do, on your own, to try improve your situation - rather than waiting around for your husband to "get it" and make it better. No one is suggesting you mother your husband, quite the opposite. Stop neglecting yourself, start taking care of yourself, honor and express your needs, focus on what YOU can do to improve your life... how's that a doormat? | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/24 04:57 AM |
| 4 | Managing households togetherYou can't choose your circumstances, but how you react is up to you. Stop using your period as a justification for poor behavior. It's an excuse. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/24 07:30 PM |
| 3 | Managing households togetherWhat would you ladies do in this situation? Stop raising my voice Stop using my period as an excuse Ask myself who made the schedule and who decided "we" (aka he) should follow it. Whatever need the schedule is fulfilling - express that need, and be open to alternative solutions that actually work for both of us. You mentioned you put it all on a schedule. So it's really your schedule, isn't it? You can't put your husband on a schedule as if he were a preschooler. What's his perspective on the i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/24 07:00 PM |
| 5 | Managing households togetherIt's difficult to give advice when you purposefully avoid mentioning the full picture ("in a really good place" 2 months after you filed for divorce?) and refuse to give any detail relevant to the specific issue. What kind of advice are you hoping to get from the community? | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/05/24 06:55 PM |
| 3 | Financial imbalance in relationship causing insecuritiesFinancial literacy is definitely a skill one needs to learn! I think OP's idea of reading something together would be useful. It's a shame so many people don't get taught, and it's not their fault if they get to adulthood without this skill. However, once you reach adulthood, it becomes your responsibility to fix it. Like one might say "I can't cook because my parents never taught me"... ok, but now you're 30, you've been living on your own for 10 years, what have you done these last 10 years to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/05/24 09:26 PM |
| 23 | Financial imbalance in relationship causing insecuritieswants to protect and provide for his woman. I would ask what his plan is to be able to do it. A direction, and concrete steps. What does he expect of himself, of you, how it will look like, how it will realistically work out. drinks pretty heavily, which is something he would like to change. What's his plan? my total savings are an estimated 5 1/2 times more than his What does "estimated" mean? Are you guessing or do you you know the details of his finances? Does he? My fiance has expressed a lo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/05/24 05:56 PM |
| 2 | Financial protections for SAHWsYou had a great idea for the email address! I used a silly nickname based on his last name, it was supposed to be a private address to keep our honeymoon tickets and reservations. Of course, now we use it for everything. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/24 08:58 PM |
| 2 | WEEKLY OYS - May 16th 2024Relationship Lowlights: ... It's challenging when one partner's way to recharge is draining for the other. How would you handle it differently? | /r/RedPillWives | 19/05/24 08:03 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 16th 2024I realize this is a small thing but it’s a huge improvement for me from where I was several months ago. It's not a small thing! It's very thoughtful and he appreciates it for sure. In your previous OYS you mentioned an issue with his insecurities around the wedding budget - how's it going? | /r/RedPillWives | 19/05/24 07:49 PM |
| 16 | Did any of you get to a good place in life only for others to begin dumping their problems on you?Learn to say no. You don't have to explain why. No is a complete sentence. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/24 06:46 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 16th 2024I was looking forward to your OYS! It's really good you've been taking care of yourself and finding a support network. And you've been doing a wonderful job of caring for your family and your boyfriend too. Shortly thereafter, he told me my comment was disrespectful. I agreed and apologized, and we had a good talk. I really wish I hadn’t made the comment in the first place - it was totally unnecessary, and he’s honestly done so much for me and I know he finds me desirable. It’s just the worst wa… | /r/RedPillWives | 19/05/24 05:58 PM |
| 10 | Financial protections for SAHWsLife insurance for both (!) spouses if the couple has children. Life insurance on the working spouse is self-explanatory, but don't underestimate the financial contribution of a SAHM to her family. Emergency fund in her name only (+ possibly one in her husband's name only). I don't know where you live, but here, some banks freeze joint accounts completely when one spouse dies. It's an issue. Have some kind of marketable skill and keep it up to date / keep your professional license. Even if you d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/24 05:27 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 16th 2024Oh sorry, I thought you mentioned CIO somewhere in your comment! I think I read "controversial" and my mind filled in CIO. My mistake :) I get what you say. I moved the baby from the sidecar crib because most of the time she'd wake me when she wasn't even awake, ugh | /r/RedPillWives | 17/05/24 07:26 AM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 16th 2024I'm not looking to start a debate but let's just say the evidence on cry-it-out at this age is thin and what we have doesn't show any medium/long term benefit. Maybe some small short-term differences but of limited clinical relevance (like a zero-point-somethung reduction in number of wake ups per night). Everyone has some anecdote but as best as we know, differences into toddlerhood are mostly due to chance and luck. We don't plan on ever doing cry-it-out, and I'm pretty confident we'll stay fi… | /r/RedPillWives | 17/05/24 02:18 AM |
| 6 | WEEKLY OYS - May 16th 2024OYS Number: 5 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: late 20s, married, 1 child (6 mo) Gratitude list: Husband helps me a lot when I feel overwhelmed. It's been a week of very bad sleep and I simply can't function sometimes. Husband wrote me a love letter to go with a beautiful gift :) We celebrated Mother's day with his family and everyone got me flowers or a small gift. I felt SO appreciated and loved. We are financially secure. We have all we need, live a comfortable life, and are covered fo… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/05/24 05:24 PM |
| 15 | My (28F) boyfriend (28M) isnt masculine enough for me. Give him time or break up?Living on your own and paying your own bills doesn't make you masculine, it makes you an adult. You say that because of this, "They don't feel needed anywhere"... do you think that showing total incompetence would make a man more attracted to you? That a masculine man is looking for an aldult woman who needs her brand-new-boyfriend to get her a place and pay her bills? This is not how you make men feel needed, it's how you make them run away. Rent and bills is not the kind of stuff a new boyfrie… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/24 09:57 AM |
| 1 | Do you have a redpill community around you irl?and won’t allow her husband to fully support her yet even though he is responsible and financially stable. I wouldn't say that is necessarily part of RPW/RPWi. | /r/RedPillWives | 14/05/24 10:18 AM |
| 2 | RantYup. Some very young people, usually girls... and some others who got out of bad relationships/divorced, are quick to point out all the reasons why one should leave, and sometimes need to point out how they are so much better now that they left. Yeah. I only take relationship advice from people in relationships I admire. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/05/24 12:02 AM |
| 38 | RantI sympathize. I think many people don't know how to get what they want in a relationship besides "I want this and I DESERVE this and you SHOULD be providing it for me if you love me. What, me? No I'm not perfect, but everyone's human! Here's my list of justifications that exempt me from holding myself to the same high standard." They don't know so much, or are so much opposed to doing the work, that they can't fathom an alternative to leaving the relationship when they're unsatisfied. Oh, also f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 04:56 PM |
| 8 | Unsatisfied with fiancé, should I break up?Think about it then. You are always in control of how you act, there's no self-sabotaging suddenly taking control of your life against your will. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 04:52 PM |
| 2 | Unsatisfied with fiancé, should I break up?I must have missed the checklist entirely lol | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 04:51 PM |
| 7 | Unsatisfied with fiancé, should I break up?You are talking about self-sabotaging as if you can't possibly have any awareness or control of it. Why? | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 04:26 PM |
| 11 | Unsatisfied with fiancé, should I break up?Alas, reading and understanding are not the same. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 04:23 PM |
| 14 | Unsatisfied with fiancé, should I break up?I just don’t wanna feel like I’m always available anymore. Makes me feel taken for granted. Still a What? I read your update. You wrote this post and in barely a couple of hours decided to latch onto the ONLY comment who suggested taking a step back from the relationship, telling your Fiancé that you want to move out... I think you came here looking for an excuse/validation for your desire to step back. These are not the actions of someone who is trying to improve her relationship. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 04:23 PM |
| 18 | Unsatisfied with fiancé, should I break up?But for me, I’ve come to realize that it’s probably my love language. Lately I’ve just been rejecting him which I’ve never done before and which isn’t good for us, but I just don’t wanna feel like I’m always available anymore. Makes me feel taken for granted. So... you want more sex and you want him to initiate more, but when he initiates you reject him because.... because? Because you don't want him to think he can have sex with you whenever, after telling him you'd like to have sex whenever? W… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/05/24 04:16 PM |
| 1 | How to behave as a couple?Why does it matter? What are you trying to accomplish with these changes? | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/05/24 01:06 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 9th 2024Hormone fluctuations are an environmental factor and how I respond is still in my control You have a truly inspiring attitude. I'm sure being aware of the issue will help you manage it. I love reading your comments because you always have a refreshing focus on self-improvement and accountability. If you don't mind me asking, what's the plan for the next few weeks regarding the household management, until you hopefully get more sleep? | /r/RedPillWives | 11/05/24 01:56 PM |
| 2 | WEEKLY OYS - May 9th 2024Right now I'm not a good example for anything... except maybe an example of a giant "work in progress, let's hope we make something out of it". Yes, those two are very much at odds. I fret over everything, while he's much more laidback on most things, and only focuses on what really matters to him. My first instinct is to say "ok, I'm giving up power, so now YOU handle all this stuff that I care about". Make my priorities his priorities. He won't accept it. At my worst, I have a tendency to turn… | /r/RedPillWives | 11/05/24 08:26 AM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 9th 2024I absolutely remember what you wrote! A handful of us had their babies pretty close together and simply reading what you wrote gave me a sense of community. "Oh ok, I'm not the only one going through this, we're all on the same boat!" Thank you so much for sharing. Yes, trust the process. Your body (including your brain!) is still physically recovering, hormones will still be all over the place, and you went through something SO hard. But you did it. | /r/RedPillWives | 11/05/24 07:19 AM |
| 6 | Husband wants a one sided open relationship what do I do?However, I don't agree with the commenters who think he's automatically irredeemable from what you've said about him so far: if he showed you his worst ever moment only after being called a "horrible person," then you can likely inspire his best moments l His worst ever moment amounted to choking her. That's... beyond needing to inspire him to be his best. He showed her he's capable of hurting her. The solution is not "don't make him want to choke you". | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/24 10:12 AM |
| 39 | Husband wants a one sided open relationship what do I do?A year ago you wrote "I am seriously considering leaving my partner". 10 months ago you wrote "I know I should be done". 8 months ago you wanted to check his phone and he chocked you. You described him as an extreme narcissist and told him multiple times "I need you to leave and move out- I need space- I am not happy or in love with you- I want to move on, you need to go". 4 months ago you wrote "I'm in the process of leaving my spouse". He threw stuff at you, punched a hole in your wall, and yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/05/24 05:03 AM |
| 4 | WEEKLY OYS - May 9th 2024OYS Number: 4 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: late 20s, married, 1 child (6 mo) Gratitude list: My husband's hard work for our family. He got promoted twice in a short time, I am SO proud. On top of working fulltime, he's taking such good care of me and our baby. My baby got her monthly check up and she's growing more than expected! We went out to dinner with friends. Spent a quiet Sunday together as a family. Things I Did for My Present/Future: Get up early. Put down my phone before goi… | /r/RedPillWives | 09/05/24 07:07 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 9th 2024I remember your post from a couple of months ago! The coffee and quiet in the morning was something he asked for, right? It's a great way of showing your boyfriend love and care, you listened to what was important to him. I also felt very appreciated and listened to, because just the week prior I had made an offhand comment about how I’d love to have a picnic some time. And he's been listening as well, it seems :) PTSD is horrible. I remember you mentioned meds... are you in therapy too? How's y… | /r/RedPillWives | 09/05/24 06:49 PM |
| 2 | “I love you”I'd be insecure too if he never said I love you. But after 4 years, if you truly believe he wants to marry you and you want to marry him, it's probably not going to change. Sorry. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/24 05:50 PM |
| 3 | “I love you”What else would you say is “showing” love for another? Whatever makes you feel loved / whatever he intenda as a show of love. But I think concrete longterm plans would fall into that category at this point. Is it possible you're feeling insecure and you'd take "I love you" as a token of his commitment, sedating your anxiety? After 4 years, in your mid/late 20s, is there a reason you have no concrete longterm plans? Can you elaborate? Since he knows you find those words important, it might not be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/24 02:56 PM |
| 4 | “I love you”You don't say old you are and where the relationship is headed. Would you mind to expand on your circumstances a bit? Does he show love for you? > I asked him if he would be okay if I never told him the phrase from now on and he said “I guess not”. So I don’t understand why he doesn’t see where I’m coming from. Maybe because he knows that it's important for YOU to say those words, and it would be a strong signal if you stopped? It could almost sound like retaliation in a weird power struggle. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/24 01:44 PM |
| 4 | Desperately Need AdviceOhhh I know that hesitation. But don't let it get in the way of a happier and more harmonious life. I think that by offering to hire help, your husband is trying to make your life easier and show how much he values your contribution, even if he can't help you himself. Or maybe he could, but at the expense of time with you/the kids/friends/himself, and he'd rather outsource those tasks to prioritize his free time. Time is the most important resource we have. | /r/RedPillWives | 08/05/24 01:37 PM |
| 1 | Is it too much to expect my boyfriend of 6 months to say "I love you"?I didn't come up with that concept, don't remember where I heard it. It has a connotation of love is a battlefield and the one who falls in love, loses. I don't see things that way, but I try to speak to the way things tend to be in the seduction/relationship arena. Ah, I disagree with this take. It speaks of insecurity. I've never thought of my husband as weak or needy for saying "I love you". I can always feel his devotion behind it, and he says it often - and of course he is the pinnacle of m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/24 11:56 AM |
| 5 | Desperately Need AdviceI mean this in a kind tone: he isn't washing his hands of the entire process. He's working weekends and evenings to support you as a SAHM and provides money for regular housecleaning, babysitting, and assorted hired help whenever you ask. If you need more help, ask more. I am absolutely not saying your contribution as a SAHM has no value... but his contribution has value too, even if it's not 100% what you want him to do. He can't fix a door, so he tells you yes, hire someone - problem fixed! Ye… | /r/RedPillWives | 08/05/24 10:11 AM |
| 2 | Is it too much to expect my boyfriend of 6 months to say "I love you"?I get the theory. (And I'm surprised at the downvotes. The RP in RPW doesn't stand for Reformed Presbyterian.) But... you are conflating lots of comfort with less dominance (leadership, attractiveness, whatever less-charged word we want to substitute for dominance). I don't think comfort and attraction are two opposite ends of a single scale. They're two different scales. It's true a woman might have a high need for dominance and a low need for comfort. But she might have a low need for dominanc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/24 09:52 AM |
| 6 | Desperately Need AdviceOh no, I had constructed a great argument on how questioning your man's masculinity (man up) is a bad idea. I'll keep it for next time. | /r/RedPillWives | 07/05/24 07:19 PM |
| 2 | Desperately Need AdviceIt sounds like you are both working very hard. He's working (from what I read in your comments) 6+ days a week. You are "on call" everyday. You both need some downtime. It can be hard a SAHM not to feel you're working 24/7. My first suggestion would be to schedule in some time for youself. Do something that makes you feel good and happy. Can you get half an hour a day completely for youself? (Heck, even fifteen minutes are enough to change my day sometimes) Can your husband take the kids for an … | /r/RedPillWives | 07/05/24 07:02 PM |
| 2 | Desperately Need AdviceAnd this helps OP... how? | /r/RedPillWives | 07/05/24 06:45 PM |
| 3 | How to find a traditional manThanks for letting me know! https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/12zypak/vetting_holding_and_moving_boundaries_to_find_the/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4yrsdz/vetting_a_man_part_1_seeker_vet_thyself_first/ | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/24 07:13 PM |
| 4 | How to find a traditional manNothing original, just some collective wisdom. To give credtis, I've blatantly stolen the handkerchief video from u/SunshineSundress | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/24 04:22 PM |
| 36 | How to find a traditional manYou don't find a man, you attract one. Think about the man you want to attract. Where would he spend his time? In what social circles would you find him in? What kind of woman would he be interested in? My guess would be that you need to project femininity and grace, to attract a man who values traditional masculinity. You are young, college is a giant social circle, and these two points are on your side. You need to be attractive enough (SMV = sexual market value - what gets your foot through t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/24 08:48 AM |
| 2 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTII'll have to go back and give him a thumbs down to contribute to his RLHF (real learning human feedback) algorithm. Nooo poor chatGPT, he tried his best :( There isn't a definite answer to all this because no one agrees on anything. I simply LOVE it. (Such an ENTP thing to say lol) | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/24 10:50 PM |
| 4 | Discussion - dead vs active bedroom - what really is the normComing back to add (sorry, editing comments is a nightmare on my browser): From a RPW theory standpoint, we need to make a distinction between a dead bedroom where the woman is being rejected vs where the woman is turning sex down. • First case: For the woman who's being rejected, RPW can offer many strategies. Physical attractiveness, seduction, learning how to please her man in bed, stopping the crazy cycle, being more agreeable and supportive, understanding where her man is coming from... • S… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/24 10:28 PM |
| 3 | Discussion - dead vs active bedroom - what really is the normIn all surveys and longitudinal studies, on average sexual frequency and sexual satisfaction invariably decrease with time. Sad but true. Barring some people who get married/get into a LTR ignoring the obvious sexual comparibility issues, most couples can expect periods of "sleeping bedroom". Age, health, pregnancy/breastfeeding/young kids, family issues, hormonal birth control etc. all play into this. It's just life. Some people don't want to put in the effort to reawaken the bedroom. Others ge… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/24 05:24 PM |
| 5 | Deciding on number of children while also considering your husband’s needsAnd I want to make sure my husband has time to do some things that he would maybe sometimes secretly resent if he didn’t end up getting time to do them. We as women have to anticipate everyone’s needs for a healthy household. Mmh. I don't think a woman's role is to anticipate a need in the sense of "assuming that my husband would secretely be resentful". I think for a healthy household both partners should be able to openly discuss this issues, especially when making a lifelong, life-changing de… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/24 11:49 AM |
| 6 | Deciding on number of children while also considering your husband’s needsLong story short, after IVF twin girls in 2021, the baby boy we were told we couldn't conceive naturally in 2022, and my final FET baby boy two weeks ago Wow, congratulations! | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/24 11:42 AM |
| 1 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTIThat said (and sorry for the multiple replies but I'm on Chrome and editing comments is a nightmare) we can set aside the cognitive functions stack and P/J issue if you want :) it's something not even real psychologists can agree on. I find it an interesting topic exactly because no one can agree on anything lol Coming back to the love language issue: I'm still not convinced that love expression depends on the judging function (or rational function if we're using jungian terminology, and yes Fee… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/24 09:33 AM |
| 1 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTIYour reasoning is all based on cognitive functions. I know I've said it already, but cognitive functions are NOT part of official MBTI theory Adding - I meant the stacks of four cognitive functions as they relate to the four-letter types. MBTI does talk about functions, being an elaboration of Jung's work. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/24 09:21 AM |
| 1 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTIThese auxiliary/tertiary helper functions reflected the same opposites from Jung's Dominant and Inferior functions. [Myers's functions stack here] This is wrong. Myers believed, from Jung's writings, that all non-dominant functions had the attitude opposite to that of the dominant function. So not Ti-Ne-Fi-Se, but Ti-Ne-Fe-Se. This interpretation of Jung's writing is not universal though. Some believe Jung meant the auxiliary function to be of the same attitude as the dominant, so Ti-Ni-Fe-Se. O… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/24 09:06 AM |
| 1 | Fashionwhy the heck does no one bat an eye when women wear pajama pants and slippers to pick up their kids from school What. They do? Sooo, I read you live in a very small, rural town and you're having trouble fitting in. Honestly, being massively overdressed compared to all other women is not going to help. You've got two options: Don't care. You like the way you dress. End of story. Tone it down a bit while still mantaining the feminine style you like. Don't underestimate how much accessories like sh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/24 04:35 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - May 2nd 2024Don't worry about it right now. Focus on being kind to yourself and to your husband. | /r/RedPillWives | 03/05/24 12:40 PM |
| 5 | Do you have any conditions set for porn usage?However, when I go to visit family for the week, he will watch it. How do you know? And if you're asking - why do you ask, knowing the answer will make you uncomfortable? My husband told me early on (I asked) that he didn't watch porn. I have no idea if he never does it or if he generally doesn't. I have no idea if he did when we were long distance. I don't care as long as it doesn't take away from our relationship and doesn't harm our sex life. I wouldn't call porn a red flag. It depends on fre… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/24 10:09 PM |
| 3 | WEEKLY OYS - May 2nd 2024Am I reading correctly that you are only 1 month postpartum? Gonna be honest. 1 month postpartum, my goals would have been "get out of pjs", "maybe the baby will let us eat dinner together", and "hope I only cry once or twice today". I still remember the first time my husband and I truly embraced each other and took a breath together. We were in the kitchen and the baby was miraculously sleeping in her bassinet. She was 2 weeks old. I started to feel somewhat myself after 6 weeks. I was still em… | /r/RedPillWives | 02/05/24 09:45 PM |
| 6 | WEEKLY OYS - May 2nd 2024OYS Number: 3 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: late 20s, married, 1 child (6 mo) Playing around with the format to focus more on self improvement and reflection. Hope you don't mind! Gratitude list: - My squishy, sweet-smelling baby. Ahhhh. - Falling asleep in my husband's arms. - My husband spontaneously cleaned and rearranged some stuff in the kitchen. It looks beautiful now. - He took me out to dinner at my favourite place. We even got to eat with both hands before the devil baby start… | /r/RedPillWives | 02/05/24 06:32 PM |
| 1 | I have found a truly great man but struggle with intimacyI try to put in effort to moan and say sexy things but I don’t really ever enjoy sex. So... you are faking it. Here's the issue - as long as you fake pleasure, no man will ever be able to find out what is really pleasurable for you. It never gets better until you are honest. (In addition to what other users have said here) | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/24 11:57 AM |
| 9 | Advice for conversational topicsYou commit for life to a person when you are in such a good place together that you say "yes, this is the life I want - with you". You don't commit for life at 20 in an effort to keep your boyfriend of 2 years who treats you like shit and cheats on you. That's trauma bonding, not commitment, and HE's causing the trauma. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/24 09:20 AM |
| 4 | Advice for conversational topicsGirl... | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/24 09:06 AM |
| 7 | Advice for conversational topicshonestly I’m not looking to vet at all. Why not? You don't vet only before a relationship - you vet throughout a relationship to determine whether a boyfriend is right for you in a longterm relationship/marriage/kids/whatever vision you have for your future. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/24 09:39 PM |
| 3 | Advice for conversational topicsForgot to add for point 3 - what did you talk about when you first got to know each other? What made you interested into each other? What made you fall in love? What did you have in common? | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/24 09:17 AM |
| 7 | Advice for conversational topicsOk so if you're going to try fix your relationship's issues, I think you'd do well to Remember you are still vetting (relevant reading: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4yrsdz/vetting_a_man_part_1_seeker_vet_thyself_first/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/12zypak/vetting_holding_and_moving_boundaries_to_find_the/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/16a4o5c/back_to_basics_september_a_comprehensive_guide_to/ ) Start recognizing bids for connections - his and … | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/24 09:11 AM |
| 1 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTIAnd I believe there’s correlational studies or statistics about sociopaths and anti social personality being regularly measured traits in a large number of the top 500. retreats slowly Do you think it's typical of xNTJ to "mask/pass as" sensors and feelers in their social life? | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/24 07:59 AM |
| 14 | Advice for conversational topicsYou seem very eager to mold yourself to fit his preferences. Is he reciprocating with respect, care, appreciation and and interest for who you are as a person? And I don't mean giving you positive reinforcement when you do something he approves of. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/24 03:31 PM |
| 10 | Advice for conversational topicsIs this man interested in anything you have to say/you find important? | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/24 02:17 PM |
| 1 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTIBut I don't know if these are the ways that I'd determine that I am loved. Agree. A lot of the F types points seem like normal human needs (trust? Support? Connection? Appreciation? Who DOESN'T care about this stuff in a relationship?) and a lot of the T types points seem like "robotic mastermind" stereotype. My husband definitely appreciates that he can rely on me to handle things, but I don't think that's part of his "lovemeter". Loyalty and protecting, yes - but that's pretty much universal h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/24 09:49 AM |
| 3 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTII empathyze with the space alien feeling. I think you're onto something when you point out gender differences within the same type and societal expectations shaping how we express our traits. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/24 09:29 AM |
| 2 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTII won't go into details on the P/J switch because u/_pumpkin_muffin has been grilling me on this and I've been telling her I'm not a personality scientist, I just use it to get results ;) No no please don't mind me! I'm really curious about what you have to say about it! Myself as an example, without any deeper interaction or seeing my Reddit account - I could come across as a sensor feeler if you only see my social side where I’m into a lot of physical sports when I’m hanging out with friends a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/24 08:05 AM |
| 2 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTI...this is going to turn into a week-long, 60-replies discussion, isn't it? | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/24 06:26 PM |
| 1 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTIIn my (limited) experience, N types tend to find "their people" among other N types. INxx types in particular. I've always found the deepest connection (not necessarily romantic) with INFP, INTP and INTJ types. My husband is an outlier because he's (gasp!) an extrovert... That's how far from my comfort zone I've ventured lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/24 06:24 PM |
| 2 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTIA lot of MBTI was genuinely horoscopes that made a lot money. Yes, making money from the "tell me who I really am!" obsession and telling people what they want to hear. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/24 05:36 PM |
| 2 | WEEKLY OYS - April 25th 2024at home. Also when my mom was over recently, he went out into the yard and picked her some wildflowers to bring home since she commented on the ones we had on our table. This is absolutely beautiful. He sounds very toughtful. He’s very stressed about the wedding costs and saving up for a house. He’s worried about our future and not earning enough to provide. Do you think you're doing something to contribute to this insecurity of his? > He says it’s just the way he is, but I also hate feeling lik… | /r/RedPillWives | 29/04/24 03:59 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - April 25th 2024It sounds like you had some lovely time with your husband:) Carving some kids-free time to focus on each other and really reconnect is definitely a need! You're doing great. Regarding the fight: it's ok to take a break from a disagreement when it's getting too emotional and out of hand. In fact, it's healthy and it helps solve the issue later. When we're flooded by negative emotions (https://www.gottman.com/blog/making-sure-emotional-flooding-doesnt-capsize-your-relationship/), we need to diseng… | /r/RedPillWives | 29/04/24 03:42 PM |
| 3 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTIComing back. A few random points on your model: I can see what you say about Fi-types applying to xNFP. Those types are usually big on the self-expression front and often report feeling out of place and misunderstood (like most iNtuitives, actually). So it follows that xNFPs would probably place weight on this stuff in a romantic relationship too. But I can see it applying to all NFs since they all tend to fall into the artistic/self-expression/need-deep-personal-connection type. INFx in particu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/24 03:14 PM |
| 6 | Decoding Your Man's Love Language Through His MBTIMmmh. For me this is a "mayyyybe, but probably not". You are grouping the 16 types based on their judging function, which is a possible classification but IMO not the most useful one. Decision-making process and romantic behaviors are not so directly linked. There are many different (and more accurate) ways we can group MBTI types *and* find that they probably-somewhat-correlate to how we express love and feel loved. Your reasoning is all based on cognitive functions. I know I've said it already… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/24 12:18 PM |
| 4 | Be better in bed?You don't say whether you're in a relationship or not. It sounds like you're having casual/semicasual hook ups, where you can get the man interested in sex but then you don't know how to proceed. If that's the case... I'm going to be honest with you. "Getting the invite" as you put it is NOT difficult as a woman. Most (not all, but most) guys will be down for casual sex if you're reasonably attractive and pleasant. Some will be even if you're unattractive and unpleasant. Experience is always the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/24 08:55 AM |
| 10 | Why do husbands have to beg their wife to have sex with them?They think I’m still good looking, why isn’t she attracted to me not realizing for many women that’s not the problem. Attraction is the problem - because they don't realize how a woman's attraction works. Maybe they're physically attractive, but they turn to behaviours that make a woman as dry as the Sahara. Begging like toddlers complaining, acting entitled, making sex another chore on her to-do list... she wants to be your woman, not your mommy FFS. The classical "Be attractive, don't be unatt… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/04/24 11:09 AM |
| 3 | WEEKLY OYS - April 25th 2024Relationship Highlights: We are planning a weekend away! Kiddos are going with the grandparents, we are doing some fun touristy activities around town… should be a great “staycation”. I just vaguely mentioned earlier in the week that I was feeling a bit cooped up, and he just sprung into action to make something happen. Love this! | /r/RedPillWives | 26/04/24 10:28 AM |
| 2 | WEEKLY OYS - April 18th 2024You're right, knowing something intellectually is different than living it. I'm in a similar situation and I think there's a balance between "needing to implement this" and "ok, but also recognize and make peace with the fact that we're different people with different temperaments, and things won't always work the same for us". How hard to push in one direction or the other depends, imo, on how prone one is to beat herself up too much vs to relax too much and not make an effort towards self-impr… | /r/RedPillWives | 26/04/24 08:08 AM |
| 1 | he's been joking that I'm too perfect and he's afraid he'll get bored of me, I feel repulsed, what do I do?Massively over thinking, if we're talking about some simple jokes. BUT. Beware of this new me vs old me thinking. A relationship is not meant to cure you of your issues. Men are not therapy. + This is giving me "the ick" vibes. Are you feeling repulsed at the joke, or at him? | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/04/24 07:33 AM |
| 6 | Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingBut there are also the women who really need to listen to themselves when they have wandering eyes or are questioning the relationships. Settling for infatuation or money (the two main ones I see here) over all other things is also not the ideal life strategy. I think hypergamy has its place. I don't attach a moral judgement to it, and as a strategy, it must have some merit if it's a biological drive. Obviously a relationship works on so much more than instincts though. I agree for some women, t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/04/24 07:05 AM |
| 2 | Deal Makers and Deal BreakersBut in theory, they're sticking together in the relationship because that's what loyalty means despite the major conflicts in values, despite the missing aspects of respect/love, despite the dysfunctional coping mechanisms and lack of self-reflection and making hard choices or buckling up and radically owning and improving every aspect of their relationship to make it work. Good point. I guess I had in mind a deeper concept of loyalty, but I was also thinking of how that would work in my relatio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/04/24 06:24 AM |
| 6 | WEEKLY OYS - April 25th 2024OYS Number: 2 OYS Comment Preference: 3 Demographics: late 20s, married, 1 child (6 mo) Gratitude list: My baby. I can't get enough of her. Waking up with her smiling at me in the morning sun. Her small, warm body curling against me. Her looking up at me when she's nursing, smiling and reaching up to touch my face. Folding laundry half-naked because the baby just spit up all over me, while the baby laughs at her feet and my husband laughs with me. He's singing and playing music. The room is gett… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/04/24 06:57 PM |
| 6 | Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingIt's always nice to discuss this stuff with you! | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/24 05:51 PM |
| 9 | Marrying a man who's not taller than youYou beat me to it! You don't see a lot of women saying "he makes me feel so safe/protected/small/feminine (insert whatever code word for masculine/feminine polarity and dominance/submission desire) but he's not taller than me". | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/24 04:16 PM |
| 18 | Hypergamy, Wandering Eyes and Monkey BranchingSome men will have a long list of pros but still a short list of cons. Are the pros the qualities I need and want in a man Are the cons flaws that I can live with without ever hoping they'll change If something is missing... is it an essential or a nice to have? Don't leave behind essentials because something sparlky caught your eye. We see women say "if only he did X, said X, were more X, it would all be perfect" and they let this vein of dissatisfaction run so deep that it poisons the relation… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/24 03:56 PM |
| 1 | Disagreement about school routineThat could be a great compromise to help make their mornings together less stressful. You mention asking your son, but I'd run the idea with your husband first and see what he thinks. The real issue is not really the lunch or the water bottle imo, it's your husband feeling that you are undermining his parenting. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/24 07:25 AM |
| 1 | For better or for worseI'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I think seeing the """weak side""" of a strong man can be difficult for his partner... not because he doesn't have a right to be fragile, but because you know how hard things must be to bring him to his limit. I hope it's something that can be solved soon. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/24 10:39 PM |
| 1 | For better or for worseM U R D E R | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/24 10:32 PM |
| 4 | Disagreement about school routineYour husband's comment about being the only one with brains is telling. As with horses, 'the more you use the reins, the less they'll use their brains'. He has to trust enough to let go of controlling things both as a husband and a parent. Management is the discipline of sustaining acceptable standards. Leadership is about change, adaptation and growth. While both bring value, your husband might be better off focusing more on leadership rather than management. That's an interesting distinction. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/24 10:30 PM |
| 7 | Disagreement about school routineAnd then depriving him of his perspective and feelings because you have deemed them not important or normal enough. There's some really important perspective here, OP. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/24 10:25 PM |
| 1 | 7 Tips to Retain a Loving Relationship with Small ChildrenYeah it turned into a journal entry, sorry 😅 | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/04/24 11:02 AM |
| 1 | For better or for worseThank you. We are very happy to have each other. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/24 05:02 PM |
| 4 | Men commit only when they're ready. Doesn't matter how great you are.Thanks, I agree but couldn't find a way to phrase it! | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/24 07:11 AM |
| 3 | For better or for worseI am not running religion, so your belief is not required. ;) True, I'm a middle-aged guy, but I'm still worried about your arteries. (Sorry I couldn't resist the joke.) | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/24 06:51 AM |
| 1 | For better or for worseAh... not sure I believe that 100%. For the simple fact that you too must be human, and everyone hurts at some point. But if it works for you, well, I'm not debating coping mechanisms. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/24 06:07 AM |
| 1 | Husband sending flirty comments on IG storiesHe talked about what types of affection he received in last relationships as examples of what I don’t do (caressing his hair while laying in lap, bringing him snacks and coffee, sitting and watching TV with him, touching him, calling his name (this one seemed weird to me, I just talk to him if I need to without calling his name first?)) and said he wasn’t comparing me to them, but yeah…idk what else you could call that. You could call it "telling you what he needs". Stop judging whether it makes… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/24 06:01 AM |
| 11 | For better or for worseYes. I read somewhere that marriage is being there when the other gets a phonecall in the middle of the night. I wish we never had to get those phonecalls, but... you grip each other and somehow that holds you up. And then when something good happens to the other, you are happier and prouder than you'd be for yourself. Life is so full this way. Yesterday he called me again when he was at work - which he normally doesn't do, so I was worried - because he had really good news. It's so good to have… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/24 05:10 AM |
| 6 | Men commit only when they're ready. Doesn't matter how great you are.Thanks for answering. I've been thinking about it because The high value guy drifts along enjoying low commitment encounters until he comes across an exceptional woman that he can see having a serious relationship with. I've seen this happen a lot, but I'm always hesitant to recommend going after a man like this and showing him that you're "relationship material". I think it's riskier for the woman. So she eithers needs it go in with her eyes open and hope it works, or... do it because she's not… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/24 04:59 AM |
| 2 | WEEKLY OYS - April 18th 2024It sounds so sweet, I'd heart react if I could :) you're really making home his peaceful place! | /r/RedPillWives | 23/04/24 04:40 AM |
| 3 | For better or for worseWow. I wonder what that is even like? That doesn't sound healthy. Everyone needs a support system. If not for emotional health then at least for one's arteries' sake. The key phrase to listen for is, "I'll figure something out." Yeah, I'm pretty good at sensing when he's BSing me, but usually I don't let him know. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/24 07:49 PM |
| 2 | 7 Tips to Retain a Loving Relationship with Small ChildrenI was thinking back about this post and I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated it in my first few months as a mom. I read it while pregnant and so much stayed with me and helped me navigate postpartum, which is both a deliriously happy time and a horribly hard time. I could sorta vaguely omagine the extent of this happiness but GIRL nothing could have prepared me for the hard part. However, it's important to remember that there's a substantial difference between saying you need more, an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/24 04:54 PM |
| 1 | Men commit only when they're ready. Doesn't matter how great you are.The ones who play around until they find a keeper. What makes a keeper? | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/24 04:21 PM |
| 5 | Men commit only when they're ready. Doesn't matter how great you are.I agree. But would it be a good strategy to pursue a man who clearly doesn't plan to commit, hoping he'll break his rules? (I'm not saying no, it's a genuine question) | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/24 04:18 PM |
| 1 | For better or for worseI'm sure you helped him. Losing a beloved pet is a blow. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/24 04:07 PM |
| 10 | For better or for worseSo much of our stress is self-inflicted. Everything becomes so peaceful when we let it go. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/24 04:06 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - April 18th 2024Relationship Lowlights: If the baby does the same napping strike thing she did yesterday, I'll be lucky to even have the house straightened and be showered and ready for him this afternoon. This sort of thing is a source of constant frustration to me. I'm pretty much on the same boat. Do you think your frustration with it can add to his stress / make his time at home less enjoyable? I know I was guilty of this in the first 3-4 months postpartum. I'd look out for this potential issue (or maybe yo… | /r/RedPillWives | 22/04/24 01:27 PM |
| 2 | WEEKLY OYS - April 18th 2024When he came home sick a couple of days ago around midday I felt so guilty because the house wasn’t of its usual standard, and I thought it may be hard for him to feel relaxed. I should complete tasks as I notice them and not put them off in case there are any unexpected schedule changes. (Of course he didn’t mind at ALL, but I hold myself to high standards out of affection and gratitude for him.) You seem very nurturing and it sounds like your fancé appreciates your efforts. Don't beat yourself… | /r/RedPillWives | 22/04/24 01:18 PM |
| 2 | WEEKLY OYS - April 18th 2024I think you did wonderfully in your circumstances. You couldn't handle it calmly enough, so you did what you needed to do to collect yourself. Recognizing when we need to "check out of a situation" for a bit is a great skill. | /r/RedPillWives | 22/04/24 01:03 PM |
| 1 | WEEKLY OYS - April 18th 2024OYS Number: 1 OYS Comment Preference: 2/3? I'm fine with anything Demographics: late 20s, married, 1 child (6 mo) Gratitude list: spent a wonderful day at the seaside with my family. The sky was so blue. I dressed up one day and found myself beautiful. Saw my grandma, and saw her playing with my baby. My husband asked his mother to watch the baby a couple of days so I'll get some time to myself. Dragged my husband to a medieval reenactment fair and he didn't even complain :) Things I Did for My … | /r/RedPillWives | 22/04/24 11:01 AM |
| 8 | How to stay married?You are only 3 months postpartum… you have lots of leeway to feel any which way right now! Your hormones are still recovering, and you have a newfound protectiveness of your daughter which can make the in-laws “annoying but tolerable” pushy behavior turn into “despicable, marriage-ending behavior that I cannot cope with”. ^ This. 100%. I am 6 months postpartum and I'm just now starting to realize how absolutely irrational I was. It's normal to be really protective when you feel at your most vuln… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/24 08:53 AM |
| 2 | Deal Makers and Deal BreakersI asked or read? the same question when I read about this principle from the original TRP member who shared it. Adding extra D's would make it a bit unwieldy and so they kept it simpler and it rolls off the tongue smoother when it's a 3D rule you're sharing with a potential partner rather than a 4D rule lol. Second, like you mentioned, dishonesty can easily fall under Disloyalty OR Disruption umbrella. For me it's big enough that it deserves its own separate category. It's the foundation of ever… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/04/24 08:16 AM |
| 2 | Deal Makers and Deal BreakersOoooh I had missed this. I hope you don't mind if I chime in a bit late! Disloyalty: this is THE main factor in relationship harmony imo. You need to feel (and make him feel) like you're on the same team. It's never you vs me. It needs to be us vs whatever issue we're facing - otherwise even small things can drive a wedge over time. No "you're the cause of my problem, no talking behind his back, no taking others' sides in public in emotionally charged situations (and even in private, be careful … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/04/24 08:22 PM |
| 2 | MBTI: The sixth love language?Thanks, I'll read about this research! | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/04/24 03:04 PM |
| 2 | MBTI: The sixth love language?Saving this. Anyway now I'm going down the MBTI rabbit hole again, thankyouverymuch. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/04/24 07:47 AM |
| 2 | MBTI: The sixth love language?I'm familiar with the theory, but is there evidence to support the cognitive function stacks as proposed? MBTI tests for P/J as a single trait, witu many people falling near the middle, but then the P/J difference changes the whole cognitive stack. (This particular was absent in Jung's work, not sure if it was theorized by Myers or lather) Meh. It might make sense on paper, but I'd like to see some evidence. Regarding T/F, it's the one dimension that has low test-retest reliability, and I don't … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/04/24 07:36 AM |
| 3 | MBTI: The sixth love language?ROTFL. I thought the biggest "mbti compatibility" struggle with my husband was the E vs I thing, but I asked him what he thinks it is... "You can't decide shit. Well at least you decided to marry me." So I guess I chose option 3. 😅 | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/04/24 10:56 PM |
| 2 | MBTI: The sixth love language?That ended up with a rabbit hole conversation on how you could mitigate the weaknesses inherent to intp's indecisiveness through 5 different ways (flipping a coin, 10/10/10 (how would this path play out in 10 seconds, 10 days, 10 years), and other neat decision heuristics. I need the other 3 ways please .D | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/04/24 10:26 PM |
| 1 | MBTI: The sixth love language?We solved this conflict in communication and values difference by using a custom GPT that has a love meter Lol! This must be the most INTJ thing I've ever read. Feeler types (extroverted feelers) have a tendency towards telling white lies in order to keep the peace or try to protect their loved ones from an uncomfortable truth. My husband is very much like this, so I wonder if he's actually an ENFJ, but I'm not sure. He tries to preserve harmony and definitely tells white lies (which is definite… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/04/24 08:15 PM |
| 2 | MBTI: The sixth love language?From our brief conversations we've had in the past on rpw, I've always read INFP from you. It's surprising and amusing that I'm off on that by a mile. Uh, what made you think that? I've been typed as an ENTP (though a pretty introverted one for an E) but never INFP. I've always found it tough to spend regular amounts of time around extroverts. Finding a good process for getting the right types of energy recharging for both partners is one of the uniques things I like about the E vs I dichotomy i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/04/24 10:21 AM |
| 3 | MBTI: The sixth love language?I don't put so much faith in it but I like the test for fun and I've inflicted it to my husband more than once lol. INTP (me) and probably ENTJ (him). It doesn't capture us entirely because we've both very empathetic and driven by our personal values - we just go very rationally and "these are the hard facts" at it. I'm a neonatal/maternity nurse and lactation consultant, which isn't a common profession for an INTP and yet is a very good fit for me, and I am honestly pretty good at it. "Studies … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/24 07:54 AM |
| – | OYS is Starting Over at RPWives!Great idea. Looking forward to it! | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/24 07:07 AM |
| – | Reflections After Four Months PostpartumGreat post. Thank you. One thing struck me reading it - sometimes, our self-imposed expectantions on what a good wife/mother should be get in the way of... being one. Once we let go of the "I should...", we can simply live our life. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/04/24 02:07 PM |
| 4 | What is the female equivalent of "full stomach, empty balls"?Safety and reliability. I need to feel safe with him and that I can depend on him. It's impossible to make a relationship work if these two things are missing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/03/24 01:28 PM |
| 2 | Ladies I need supportI'm saying "stop pulling and walk away from this particular tug of war". At some point, you can only get into an argoment if you allow it to be an argument. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/03/24 03:44 AM |
| 2 | Ladies I need supportOP has been handling nights on her own for the child's whole life, asked her husband to step in during night wakings and he said no. I don't think the issue can be solved by saying "we'll do what you say", if she is the one actually doing this stuff. I'm not implying any malice on the husband's part - still, I don't see how it can be her job but his decision. Since mom is the one handling the issue and bearing the consequences, and the husband's preference is obviously not working for her, I thi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/24 08:04 PM |
| 2 | Ladies I need supportIf you give him power: tell him he can make the final decision on this. Offer to help with finding articles on toddler weaning, offer to set up a virtual appointment with your pediatrician. If he decides against you, try not to argue with his reasoning, but ask him to explain. "Okay. If the kiddo is still walking at night a month from now, would we be willing to try something different?" "How do you think we can encourage him to self soothe?" IMO this would only work if the husband had some actu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/03/24 11:14 AM |
| 13 | How can I convince a guy to stop talking to me?Honestly, who cares if he thinks you're an AH. This guy has no sense of personal boundaries and no respect for you. Maybe he'll figure out why you blocked him and accepts that he obviously overstepped. Maybe he'll whine that women don't like nice guys yada yada yada. Either way, not your problem. You already spelled it out for him, he just chose to ignore it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/24 08:35 PM |
| 99 | How can I convince a guy to stop talking to me?...stop answering him? Who cares if he insists on you two being friends (while obviously aiming at more-than-friends...). He's a rando on the internet. You don't owe him anything. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/24 06:18 PM |
| 13 | Vetting Questions to Ask Yourself - DiscussionDo I want to be with someone else? You know the typical "Oh Soandso is so (romantic / ambitious / sweet / thin / rich / whatever), if only my man was like him". You don't even need to make a comparison with someone else. He is what he is. There's no "more romantic / ambitous / etc. version of him", it's either him or someone else. You can't want him and at the same time want him to be different. If you want someone else, it's ok. Other side of the coin: Is this a reasonable expectation? Set your… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/03/24 09:07 PM |
| 47 | Guy breaks up with me after 3 months because he “can’t do monogamy”He is a christian man and checks all the boxes I would look for in a husband He doesn't. Unless your want sister wives. Cut ALL contact with him and don't look back. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/03/24 08:51 AM |
| 2 | How to become a better homemaker?Girl. Reality check. At 4 and 2 your kids don't need a homeschooling routine. Take the pressure off yourself and simply parent your kids. I'm sure your homeschool co-op if full of little Einsteins, but toddlers don't need flashcards. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/03/24 01:02 PM |
| 47 | should I pick the guy I love or the guy that loves me?Don't marry a man just because you want to get married and he happens to be available. And don't get back with an ex just because his sister reaches out to you (I mean - his sister? Really?). Also, don't get back with an ex, really. He's an ex for a reason, and you already gave up once on the relationship. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/12/23 03:13 PM |
| 57 | He isn't masculine and it's getting me downHow old are you? Are you two married? Why do you feel you're stuck with him? Contempt is really hard to recover from, and you need to guard your relationship from it, if you want a relationship with THIS man. There ARE ways to encourage a man to be more masculine, or at least not drag him down... what you told him did just the opposite of encouraging and building him up. But what you're actually asking is "how do I change him into a man I like?", and the answer is - you don't. You either want HI… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/23 03:37 PM |
| 7 | Do you ever feel bad about using red pill tactics?I cringe every time I read "provider man". Is he even a HVM if he won't pay for everything?? Right?? eye roll | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/10/23 05:55 PM |
| 35 | Do you ever feel bad about using red pill tactics?I offered to get my ticket. He accepted. This was after he watched me pay for a wheel lock to be taken off my car in the parking lot… So... what was he supposed to do? The car was your issue, not his. If you make an offer, mean it - don't set it up as a trap. Maybe read up a bit on covert contracts. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/10/23 12:21 PM |
| 7 | Giving boyfriend your card under the table so it looks like he’s the one payingWhy give him the card under the table? I'm pretty shy and so my husband is the one who usually interacts more with waiters, people at the counter etc. Besides, he likes to let me sit for a bit longer while he gets up to pay. If I want to treat him with my personal spending money, I can just give him my card and he pays... no need to hide it?? | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/10/23 06:35 PM |
| 1 | Stressed out stay at home mom needing marriage adviceIt’s easy to be in this kind of setup and want to do everything yourself. But she doesn't want to do everything herself. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 05:42 PM |
| 3 | Stressed out stay at home mom needing marriage adviceIt's not only about the work you do, but the breaks you can take... and the ability to take those breaks at will because the same parent is always "on duty". | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 04:10 PM |
| 1 | Stressed out stay at home mom needing marriage adviceThat's even worse imo. If someone who has no idea can at least empathize and understand that OP is struggling, the kids' father must be really blind... (willfully blind?) | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 01:37 PM |
| 3 | Stressed out stay at home mom needing marriage adviceThe husband makes my blood boil. OP needs a man, not one more toddler to cater to. Ugggghhh. I'd like to assume that the husband is a good man who just has no clue... but can anyone be SO clueless? He's shutting his eyes and ears and singing "LALALALA I can't hear you". I think he's very comfortable with the current setup, so it's up to OP to change it and take what she needs. But it's sad really. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 12:10 PM |
| 4 | Stressed out stay at home mom needing marriage adviceI think there's a lot that your husband would benefit to hear. For starters, that begging for sex and throwing tantrums like a toddler being denied a cookie does not turn women on. But obviously you don't need us to tell you that, so I'll keep all his obvious failings out of this and try to focus on what could help you. You need to take care of yourself. Not because that will make you a better wife and help you do even more for other people... you need to take care of yourself because YOU matter… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 11:50 AM |
| 13 | Stressed out stay at home mom needing marriage adviceI honestly don’t blame him for saving himself. I would have effed off to the golf course too if I could have. The "if I could have" gives me pause. Everyone needs a break. It's not mom's responsibility to - quite literally - carry the family weight on her back while dad abandons the ship. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/10/23 06:28 AM |
| 6 | Discussion: Sex & Feeling SexyI wish I had something to contribute but I'm one month into a ~3 months period of abstinence for medical reasons and thinking about it is more than I can take lol. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/23 06:46 PM |
| 3 | Birthdays: should wives/girlfriends plan the celebration for themselves?You pose a general question first but what you're actually asking is "I want my husband to organize a celebration for my birthday. I expect this of him. He says he doesn't want to do it. How do I 'help him" do what I want?" Short answer: you don't. You phrase it as you "helping him", but in short, you have an expectation he's not meeting and you want to change what he's doing. I'd start by asking yourself why you have this expectation. Do you see his refusal as a lack of love or interest on his … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/23 06:35 PM |
| 8 | Birthdays: should wives/girlfriends plan the celebration for themselves?Tell him a girlie from his "culture" told him to man up. Yeah, emasculating your man and pointing out his failures (via public criticism and strangers' opinions!) is the way to go. That's how you get him to lead and make an effort for your happiness | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/23 05:56 PM |
| 7 | I spoke to him about us and if he can promise me future together after 2 months together. He was vagueHe left the decision to you because it's your decision. Not two weeks ago ago you were not even sure if you were a committed couple. Obviously he doesn't see it as the time to make long term life changing decisions together. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/10/23 02:05 PM |
| 8 | Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'tsOk but I still think he should kill all spiders. /s Silent expectations are just a way of setting up our partners to fail and let resentment creep in. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 06:05 PM |
| 18 | told friends I never say no to sexSexual desire it's not just Absolutely yes/Absolutely no. It's a spectrum, with "Yes I want it right now and I am initiating" on one end and "No I absolutely don't want it and the thought makes my skin crawl". There's space in the middle for "If you initiate I'll easily get in the mood", "took some time to get in the mood but oh wow I'm really enjoying it now", "I don't need it right now but I'm happy to make you happy", "I don't feel physical desire right now but I want to feel connected", "May… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/10/23 09:22 AM |
| 4 | Sell my small company to create less stress in our family?All my friends IRL keep going on about not having a resume gap and that “I can do what I want but they’d never let a guy have input about their work.” Lol. They'd neverrrr accept input on a life-altering decisions from their life partner, but they're sure generous with their advice on other families' life altering decisions. This is a family issue, so do what works best for your family. I'd only make sure you have very solid plans in case your husband temporarily/permanently can't provide for yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/23 07:35 AM |
| 5 | Sell my small company to create less stress in our family?The resume gap comment from my friends rubs me the wrong way because the only reason that would be a concern is if my husband left me. They might be thinking of illness, loss or disability, not knowing whether you have plans in place for those cases. Most people could have insurance and savings as a safety net, but probably not enough to provide for the whole family indefinitely. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/23 07:25 AM |
| 5 | Moving in before marriage … Is it worth the risk for women??!Couples who don't cohabitate before marriage are more likely to be religious, so more likely to seek marriage and less likely to divorce. People who cohabitate might place less importance on getting married and might have less qualms about divorce. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/09/23 07:16 PM |
| 1 | Have you changed anything in your appearance to better your relationship?I take great pleasure in pleasing my husband. If I ask for his opinion on something like hairstyle or clothes, he always tells me I'm beautiful... but when he comments on something unprompted, I know he really likes it. So I make an effort to often wear the clothes he really likes, wear hairstyles he finds cute, dress up when we go out, etc. It's easy because we have similar tastes anyway. I wouldn't completely alter my style for him, but why not choose something I know he likes? | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/09/23 08:19 PM |
| 2 | Ongoing issue with my boyfriend being sharing private info with his parents, he wants to tell them private information I confided in him about my parentsAt 26, he's unlikely to grow out of it. It's partly cultural too. Don't expect him to change... ask yourself if you would be ok with him, as he is, long term - this issue included. Is he going to respect your request regarding your parents? When you tell him something, are you telling HIM or him&his mother? Whar about couple issues and disagreements, private details of your life, pregnancy, parenting? What if you disagree with his mother's opinion? What if you disagree on how much to share with … | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/08/23 12:05 AM |
| 6 | Husband hurt my feelings and I can't let it goCopy pasting: 10 lbs does not even make a huge impact on size. I've gone up or down 15 lbs without changing size. Some clothes might fit better at -10 lbs but not to the extent of requiring a whole new wardrobe, unless you were already wearing ill-fitting or barely-fitting clothes. This reads more as a "I need clothes that fit my body structure and actually suit me" issue. And after 4 babies it might well be that OP's body structure changed - breasts, stomach and hips are simply different after … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/23 06:09 PM |
| 8 | Husband hurt my feelings and I can't let it goFYI, you can use pumping as a literal deficit generator when breastfeeding. Sure, just not an efficient one. Breastfeeding burns calories. Breastfeeding also makes your body want to cling to all those energy stores. A breaatfeeding mother has higher levels of prolactin, and that's not an imbalance, but it's still enough to significantly impact fat metabolism. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/23 06:05 PM |
| 11 | Husband hurt my feelings and I can't let it goMy wife and I got into many arguments over this. Eventually, she just lost the weight and is happily getting rid of thousands of dollars of clothes she didn't want to buy in the first place - because she thought that the clothes would make her like her body more. They didn't. And I think you are headed for the same destination. I think you're projecting. Losing 10 lbs does not require thousands of dollars of new clothes. 10 lbs does not even make a huge impact on size. I've gone up or down 15 lb… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/23 05:53 PM |
| 2 | Advice for engagement?Regarding snapping: it's a fact of life that the people close to us will sometimes annoy us. If annoyance results in infrequent snapping, no big deal. It's not the end of the world. Apologize and move on. If you find yourself constantly annoyed and snapping at your partner, that's a different issue, but once in a while? Eh. Do your best to be respectful and pleasant, but don't make it into a huge deal if your best isn't perfect. It won't be. His best won't be perfect either. It's just life. Real… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/23 12:39 PM |
| 4 | Advice for engagement?Big fights are often what occur when releasing tension during difficult conversations. Of course, nobody wants fights. But after fights there should be a period of self-reflection, resolution, forgiveness and then a much deeper understanding of one another. This is why so many people like drama. It feels good to release it all during a fight and then bask in the closeness afterwards. It's partially hormone related. I disagree that this is somewhat better than NOT having big fights. Communication… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/23 12:26 PM |
| 14 | Is it possible to convince/talk a man into becoming a provider?But I truly feel discouraged in thinking I have literally to explain why he should provide. Why "should"? That's your preference and you can want whatever family structure you wish, but that's not an absolute rule. You need to approach it as an "are we compatible?" issue, not a "he's wrong to envision a double income household and I need to make him understand it" issue. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/23 07:20 PM |
| 15 | Has this sub become more feminist over time?If the feminism OP is referring to is "women have a right to vote", "we shouldn't restrict people's political and social rights based on gender" and "men don't have the right to insult and beat their wives" (looking at OP's post history), I'm sure happy the sub is more feminist. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/23 12:44 PM |
| 23 | Has this sub become more feminist over time?No, my point is - you can want a male-led relationship, but your relationship dynamic and your (let alone all women's) political rights are not the same. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/23 10:43 AM |
| 33 | Has this sub become more feminist over time?I'm so deep in the demographic of a feminist that I get Kamala Harris emails but yet, here are my thoughts. I'm actively seeking a relationship where I'm not in charge. There is a difference between a romantic relationship dynamic and political rights. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/23 09:00 AM |
| 7 | Discussion: "Wife Privileges"I don't believe much in "true love" to be honest. I definitely don't believe in "soulmates". Love, yes. But that is just one ingredient to make a relationship work. You need it to start. But when a committed relationship fails, I think it's rarely just a lack of love - love often diminishes as a consequence of something else. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/23 04:11 PM |
| 18 | Discussion: "Wife Privileges"I don't think I ever purposefully withheld anything because it was a "wife privilige". Why buy the cow? Because I haven't mooed in a while. I'm not a cow, I'm a woman. He's not buying a cow, he's choosing a partner for life. I gave him everything that I was comfortable giving and that made me happy. I cooked. Cleaned. Had sex. Mended his shirts. Moved across a continent. Changed jobs. Met his whole family. Spent tons of money on plane tickets and gifts. Listened to him and supported him. And he … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/23 01:30 PM |
| 3 | Dealing with single friends who have negative views about men and relationshipsDon't hang out with people who disrespected your life, your husband and your marriage. Especially a 30 year old child who enjoys being judgemental. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/07/23 07:47 AM |
| 7 | Books like the surrendered wife but for men?I know this is not what you're asking, but suggesting self-improvement books to someone else can easily backfire. Especially suggesting a book on "how to become a better man/husband" to your man. If my husband suggested I read The surrendered wife or another book on how to improve as a wife, I would be... unimpressed. What's your goal in reading these together? A book that might be nice to share with him is "Seven principles of making marriage work" by Gottman. It has several sections specifical… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/23 12:02 AM |
| 1 | Well-off boomer women give bad romantic advice!Well, the median age was actually higher for the previous generations (21-21.5 and even 22 in the decades before). It got down to 20 in the 50s-60s and 70s. So no, these women were not getting married any later than the previous generations... earlier than ever, actually. My bad, we graduate highschool at 19 in my country so 20 would be straight out of highschool for me. It's still very young, and even younger than it used to be. If some of these women regret this choice, well, they regret it - … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/07/23 09:16 PM |
| 1 | Well-off boomer women give bad romantic advice!And to the @ 75 she got married out of high school. Nah. That was the generation before the Boomers and they aren't the ones saying "we did it wrong". In the 60s the median age at first marriage for women was 20 years. It increased to a shocking 20.8 in 1970. So... | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/07/23 07:23 PM |
| 3 | Well-off boomer women give bad romantic advice!And can we have support for the girlies who have jobs/careers and travel and even cohabitate? Those are not necessarily bad things. If you're worried women will miss out on a crucial time window - having a career and traveling don't preclude marriage and kids at the """right""" age if that's what these women want. I'm not saying go out to clubs til you're 40 and realize you want kids at 41. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/07/23 02:47 PM |
| 3 | Well-off boomer women give bad romantic advice!No, but this woman obviously felt that she got married too young, so...? People might also mature with different experiences, but "being able to survive and take care of yourself as an adult" is the bare minimum. How that looks and how you get there mght vary; what I'm saying is, don't make the most important decision of your life if mommy is still taking you to buy new underwear. Do you HAVE to be a competent adult before you get married and have kids? No you don't have to, nothing is stopping … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/07/23 02:06 PM |
| 4 | Well-off boomer women give bad romantic advice!their 30s! One had her first kid at 38 in 1982! There is a big gap between a 75 year old who got married after early adulthood saying she lost her career to motherhood Well, some women who sacrified their career in favor of their family might very well think later in life that it was the wrong choice. Why is it an issue? They made their choices and had their experience. Move on. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/07/23 10:16 AM |
| 17 | Well-off boomer women give bad romantic advice!There is a wide spectrum between "get married and become a SAHW/SAHM at 18 with no life experience and no means to support yourself" and "only focus on your career until you're 40, then realize you want a husband and kids". Yes, people are always changing, but the changes that happen at age 18-23 are NOT the same changes that happen at age 25-30, although it's the same timespan. Before you join your life with someone else you need to be able to stand on your own feet. Get out of your parents' ho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/07/23 07:27 AM |
| 11 | Well-off boomer women give bad romantic advice!What's wrong with what she's saying? The "do everything that comes to mind" is a bit too much, but I interpret her stance as "develop as a person before you get married and have children, because those are big responsibilities and once you're in, you're in". At 75, she probably got married straight out of highschool - I would not recommend that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/07/23 05:24 AM |
| 1 | Looking for positive and realistic portrayals of marriage!If you'd like older fiction too, Hannah Fowler is a nice book. I found the marriage it portrays very inspiring. Fair warning, it was written in the 50s so the racism is \waves hands/ racist, but if you can look past that, the story is enjoyable. I've also read good reviews about Forty Acres And No Mule, by the same author. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/23 08:03 PM |
| 2 | Is it okay for a guy you're dating to tell you not to go out?It'd say too much in any case. His wife should not LEAVE THE HOUSE if he tells her not too? They could be married and it would still be wrong. That's just being a controlling jerk, not a leader. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/23 06:45 PM |
| 12 | How can I be supportive to my husband without falling into the mothering territory?You both are under so much pressure. Moving abroad, getting married, living together, looking for jobs and graduating are all huge changes... multiplied x10 when you're dealing with it all at the same time. It's a fruitful time, but also challenging and stressful. If he has never lived on his own, filed taxes, looked for jobs etc., then you must expect a few hiccups along the way. You can't expect him to be 100% indipendent because he is not, and has never been. I think that leaving your parents… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/23 01:51 PM |
| 1 | Food for though: What will you teach your childrenNow we want your answer too! :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/23 01:18 PM |
| 1 | Food for though: What will you teach your childrenThat's awful. I'm so sorry. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/23 01:17 PM |
| 18 | Is it okay for a guy you're dating to tell you not to go out?Read your post history. This guy "forbids you" to get out without his permission is trying to isolate you from your social circle calls you ugly and stupid messages other girls to "punish you" if you don't comply to his requests pressures you for nudes ( DO NOT SEND THEM ) when you break up with him (and you did that not a week ago), spams you with non stop calls and messages apologizes, guilt trips you and says things will get better, until you finally forgive him proposed after less than 2 mon… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/23 10:21 AM |
| 8 | Food for though: What will you teach your childrenThe bonding part is not actually proven. Yes, a high number of sexual partners correlates in some observational studies with divorce or infidelity rates. Correlation does not imply causation. The people who are prone to sleep around might be the same people who are more prone to consider divorce. People who don't have casual sex for religious reasons might also be opposed to divorce for example (whether they have happy marriages or simply stay more frequently in unhappy marriages is debatable). … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/07/23 09:17 PM |
| 8 | Food for though: What will you teach your childrenand don't tell me "their happiness" because that goes without saying and evades the thought game That goes without saying... but that's also the "why" behind any answer, isn't it? :) I hope to show them what harmony and peace look like in a family. I hope to pass on self-respect, respect for others, accountability, how to make smart choices for their future. And I want them to be free to make their own choices. I don't think my path has to be their path (besides, I came here as a BDSM sub and I … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/07/23 08:04 PM |
| 1 | Did anyone hear about Arab women affected by western lifestyle overseas. Families are collapsing?I keep my stance, me, and most passport bros are not deficient, they are just good products on a shit market, and later in life, most women realize they should have been with these types of men, but now we have the pleasure of saying no. Men with options don't need to fly to Asia to find a woman. I highly doubt most passport bros have the pleasure of saying no to oh all these women who are throwing themselves at their feet. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/23 01:16 PM |
| 1 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?Have you tried online or IRL? Reddit can be an awful place to meet people, everyone seems so fixated on how things SHOULD work and "if you want to introduce him to BDSM he needs to read x and x book" and "here's a checklist to work through" and ughhhh. If I wanted to assign homework I'd be a teacher. I've had much better luck meeting people in vanilla settings and looking for a certain... vibe? In both my D/s relationships, I could tell from the start that the man enjoyed a submissive attitude a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/23 04:03 AM |
| 1 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?I get it. You're a special and unique snowflake. At no other point in history has anyone led life the way you are now. Not what I wrote at all. Enjoy your strawman. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/23 03:41 AM |
| 2 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?Thank you for sharing! I guess it sounds easier after you've done it, but it takes work to promote harmony that way. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/23 03:40 AM |
| 1 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?To all of the women who consider themselves "non-traditional", but are happily adhering to (and enjoying the benefits of!) an RPW relationship, I have some news for you: You are traditional. You simply misunderstand what "traditional" means, or more likely, have been miseducated on what it means. Well, this queer woman begs to differ. You seem to have an idea of what we think "traditional" means and why we disagree with the definition... but you don't have the full picture. Not everyone here is … | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 09:55 PM |
| 2 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?Yeah. There is no way for him to know. And you get frustrated that he can't and he feels left out that he can't. Biology is a jerk. Yup. It actually suprised me when he told me that he wished he could experience pregnancy. He tries to be as active a participant as possible, but at some point, I'm the mom and he's the dad and good or bad, that's just it. It's been amazing seeing how he's changing too! Crossing my fingers for you that you aren't one of those people that has morning sickness throug… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 09:10 PM |
| 2 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?Yeah, this was a big realization for me, and noticing that there are so many women who won't let themselves be made happy, like they will always find some problem or something to critisize, and then it's obvious why there's a problem in the relationship. ^ This. I have this tendency sometimes. I can be gleefully negative. I'm aware of it and I keep myself in check because I've seen first hand where it leads, and I don't like those places. I've seen very good, hard working men close to me be brog… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 08:27 PM |
| 2 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?We didn't even call it BDSM for a long time; even now, I use that label to communicate with people, but my husband doesn't find it necessary. It was simply how our relationship worked. We still made sure everyone was safe, got safewords etc., but it was just... how we clicked together, you know? We explored and grew and found a deeper meaning in what we were doing, what we were building. But in this, I never felt like I was following him. We put together our Lego blocks and built something that'… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 08:21 PM |
| 3 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?Ugh you are still in that phase. They told me it would pass in the second trimester. They lied to me. LIED. LIIIIIIED. "Honey how can you be so tired already? We woke up 2 hours ago." "YOU carry the next one and then you tell me. anf anf getting mad at you is exhausting, I need to lie down." (I joke. He's wonderful. But he also has no clue sometimes, you know?) But my mom was the disciplinarian and the nurturer and my dad was sort of there. I guess the key is really being there, both parents. Ho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 02:42 PM |
| 3 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?Forget about the wild, I barely survived alone in the suburbs. Reading this from the couch, half fainting, half throwing up. I get it. Kids require the "dominant parent / submissive parent" structure even more than relationships do IMO. I'm not sure about that. Being nurturing and giving boundaries are not mutually exclusive and I wouldn't split them up so clearly. Isn't there a way to blend the roles and doing it together, rather than doing it all alone? I find there's a difference there. Many … | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 01:21 PM |
| 9 | Ladies (including men), have you ever see the double standards of Passport 304s (lonely, horny and desperate white women/girls) are heading to overseas with their golden vagina privileges and superiority complex, but gets angry & attack against asian and other ethnic minorities of women/girls?I came here for flame but I couldn't actually understand a word you wrote. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 09:39 AM |
| 5 | Women who love to wear dresses - what do you wear in the winter?Base layer of thermal underwear (optional) Fleece or wool tights ...gym shorts over the tights so they stay up :) Thicker long-sleeved dress (jersey, wool, various knit-style fabrics) Depending on the dress: cardigan, belt, lighter scarf and coordinated hair accessories... Thicker scarf + long coat (as long as/longer than the dress) What works best for my figure: knee length or midi, full skirt, tight waist, V neck. Wrap dresses are great too. In alternative to the dress: midi skirt, belt, nice … | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 09:06 AM |
| 5 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?Great! Have you found anything you agree with/find personally useful here? The first time I got here, I did it for the WTF factor. I was morbidly fascinated by all this stuff that seemed so crazy. But then some of it didn't seem so crazy... and some of it made actually sense in my life... | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 07:52 AM |
| 2 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?Do you support women regardless of their lifestyle choices, or do you support women in choosing whatever lifestyle they want? I find that there's a distinction there. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 07:48 AM |
| 4 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?I am in love with both of these men right now. Two men on two completely different sides of the spectrum… whatever the fucking spectrum is Uh, that sounds tricky. There's some past post on RPW about dominance thresholds and relationship dynamics, they were on the last back to basics serie. And also about finding the right mix of alpha&beta traits instead of going "full alpha/full beta" - the community has pretty much left that terminology behind, but those discussions are still super relevant. M… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 07:45 AM |
| 1 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?My partner slowly introduced me to RP probably about 4 or 5 years ago. So you're both "RP aware"... I'm curious, how do you think he applies RP to your relationship? And what was most useful in saving the relationship? If you don't mind sharing with us :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 07:42 AM |
| 3 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?This post took me out of lurker status and motivated me to finally make an account! Great! :) I don’t subscribe to every belief associated with RPW, and there are many elements to what I’ve read that don’t always resonate with me. However, I also know that in my specific relationship, trying parts of the RPW approach has led to greater intimacy and harmony than we had experienced before. I decided to take what works for me, leave the rest, and simply focus on the results! Yup. Take what works, l… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 07:40 AM |
| 3 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?While he says he doesn’t want a traditional relationship where he’s the formal acknowledged head of the household, I know it’s what he grew up with and my loud city ethnic fighting career woman ass is emotionally hard for him to adjust to. I’ve been lurking here for 5+ years to pick up tips for making it easier for us to live together in subtle ways because while I believe him when he says he doesn’t want soft little Suzie Homemaker and he picked me for a reason, I also am not stupid Well this i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 07:35 AM |
| 3 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?Thank you, I really enjoyed reading your response. I think many of us here were initially hesitant, but then had a lightbulb moment and bam! It worked. It worked! I'd tell that part of your feminist brain to shut up - you're free to choose how to live your life and you're not forcing anyone else to conform to your relationship dynamic. That's the whole point of autonomy and freedom. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 07:27 AM |
| 3 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?It was honestly a shock to me when I read that that men wanted their women to be happy, they wanted very much to be able to make their woman happy and live peacefully together. Oh yes this is a big point. I was not brought up in such an extreme cultural context, and I still was surprised when I had this realization. I somehow formed a very vague assumption that men tended to be egoistical, lazy and not think about their women's happiness... I realize now where that assumption came from when I wa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 07:21 AM |
| 3 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?believe expressing traditional gender dynamics in a relationship works best to get and keep the types of men I want. Furthermore, the types of men I want do not want a tradcon girl. You articulated the two sides of the coin perfectly. What do you find that applies to you most of the RPW tools/mindset? | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 07:12 AM |
| 3 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?I guess kids will do that to you. I think they do. Raising children can be done in different ways, but even across times and cultures, some points stay mostly the same. The biology is there, strongly conserved in mammals. Children work the same way as they always have, and mothers too. I have to say, pregnancy has really driven home HARD just how vulnerable I can get as a woman. I thought more than once "I wouldn't have survived it alone in the wild". Not that my non-pregnant self or anyone I kn… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/23 07:09 AM |
| 9 | Non-traditional women of RPW, what brings you here?Thanks everyone for sharing! I didn't expect so many responses. I'll add my voice: in my marriage we're both secular, liberal and progressive politically... and both old-fashioned personally. We don't take gender norms as a prescription, but for the most part, they're a wonderful description of how we work best as a couple. We take the good of gender norms and leave what doesn't work for us - we both have jobs and don't care at all who earns more, he fixes cars and cooks dinner, I knit and read … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/23 10:22 PM |
| 5 | Boyfriend won’t give me a timeframe for marriage"Play house" is such a contemptous and dismissive way to describe people living together. If sex and housework are the only thing that will make your man marry you, I say don't marry him because those are not good reasons. I'm not a cow he's buying, I'm the person he's choosing to live life with. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/23 03:11 PM |
| 3 | Boyfriend won’t give me a timeframe for marriageYou have 2 years left in school, no stable long term job. He's 22, unenmployed, looking for a job and maybe even a place to stay. WHY would it make sense to get married? You've been with him 16 months, begged for a promise ring and are already asking for an engagement ring. 16 months, and you're worrying about him stringing you along for 16 YEARS. You're 21. Slow down. You say you want a long engagement as engagement will make you feel more secure. Look. Engagement doesn't change anything unless… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/23 11:19 AM |
| 15 | Update: plover incident.I'm happy to see that it got solved so quickly. Sometimes actions speak louder than words and he was obviously trying to show you something... nothing says "sorry I was a jerk" like cleaning the kitchen and ordering your favorite lunch :) and it seems you were able to show him your side without dragging the argument too. I think sometimes silence and space actually give people the opportunity to get closer. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/23 11:06 AM |
| 14 | How do you know if its abuse or if its traditional?It won't. Giving an abusive man more control only gives him more power to abuse you. Where do you live (country)? We can help you find resources to get out. I'm going with the assumption that this is a legit call for help, just in case. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/23 12:46 AM |
| 6 | Boyfriend won’t give me a timeframe for marriageIf he's getting sex, housework, and affection, what's left? What's special? The promise to do it forever. Plenty of people have sex and cohabitate before marriage, and still get married. Even in the good ol' days people did have premarital sex... | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/23 12:15 AM |
| 4 | Using Red Pill Tactics to be a 6 Fix Sugar BabyWell this is interesting! What RPW strategies in particular have you used to transition from sugar baby to girlfriend? | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/23 12:05 AM |
| 10 | Using Red Pill Tactics to be a 6 Fix Sugar BabyIt's hilarious how people who've been here for a few weeks insist to endorsed contributors that OP doesn't belong to the community. I'd love to read something other than "how to get the tradcon dream before the legal drinking age", for once. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 11:59 PM |
| 1 | Do you still fit in your wedding dress?Mmmh I don't really see myself in the analogy. He's adapted to me just as much, maybe more, than how I've adapted to him. I was actually the one to introduce him to our current relationship dynamic. Whatever structure we have, I feel we created it together and we're adjusting it as we go. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 10:45 PM |
| 1 | Do you still fit in your wedding dress?Getting married was such a big change for us. Our day to day didn't change that much... we were already living together most of the week, making big life changes for each other, making plans with the long term in mind etc. And yet it was such a huge shift in our mindset, which we honestly didn't expect. The sudden WE - not just "he and I" - surprised me. I guess it "helped" that we had family emergencies and health issues right from our honeymoon... it really solidified that we're in this togeth… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 10:32 PM |
| 2 | Girly vs Feminine: A discussionsometimes I worry that younger women don't understand how powerful femininity can be in getting what you want. Seduction... aka the power of inspiring him to want what you want. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 08:57 PM |
| 2 | Do you still fit in your wedding dress?I'm referencing in part the old post and in part this: Did you adapt to the path he set you both on, or do you fight to retain independence? We're walking the same path but it's our path... and we chose it because we DIDN'T want to be indipendent. I'm the same as you, I gather info and gather and gather and keep second guessing any decision I manage to make. In our life, I often trust him to make decisions... but he won't generally make a decision without my input/getting my opinion and approval… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 08:47 PM |
| 2 | Do you still fit in your wedding dress?I see changing and adapting as an active role the woman (or anyone, for that matter) plays. Being guided and shaped is passive. I have adapted to my husband in many ways but not because he was shaping me. He just... was. And in being with him, I changed. We're choosing to walk the same path. My wedding vow to him was that where he'd be, there I'd be too (ubi tu Gaius, ibi ego Gaia - you know the Latin phrase?). But that "same" path is ours, not his. He married me becaue he didn't want it to be j… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 07:56 PM |
| 8 | Boyfriend won’t give me a timeframe for marriageThis is why sex before marriage is a bad idea. It ensures that men aren't in a hurry to get married. Debatable. I say that it's a bad sign if getting sex is the only reason a man can find to marry you. I'm happy my husband didn't marry me just because he was horny. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 07:24 PM |
| 2 | Do you still fit in your wedding dress?I'm uneasy with this talk of the man shaping his woman, raising her up to walk his path etc. I don't think he's shaping me any more than I'm shaping him... and "shaping" might not be the right word. My grandmother told me that we should be like two trees growing together, intertwined, each adapting to the other, each supporting one another. We grow together into something more. But he's not shaping me into the woman he wants, and he's not setting the course on his own. I walked down the aisle be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 06:57 PM |
| 7 | Was I disrespectful?How is "did you move the eggs? Now they're all dead because of what you did" (or something along these lines) a way to "gently let him know her concerns"? It's an accusation, and it's obviously contemptous of what he did. There was nothing he could do to solve OP's concerns at that point, and she was not concerned anyway... she was upset and accusing him of doing damage (which he did; but that's not really the point of their issue). All I read is he should... he should... a man should... but wha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 06:43 PM |
| 5 | Girly vs Feminine: A discussionGirly things are more "immature" in my opinion - I don't mean it with a negative connotation, I just don't know a better word for it. Youthful maybe? They have levity, not depth. Femininity is mature and more related to sexuality in some ways. Think receptivity, softness, seduction. Receiving, giving back, nurturing, are all tied to female sexuality in my mind. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 06:29 PM |
| 5 | Was I disrespectful?Criticism is rarely conductive to anything positive. It mostly lead to defensiveness. Maybe he feels defeated and put down when he's trying his best? If that's the case, avoiding all criticism (insert all common sense caveats here) might be the way to go for a while. He might need space to make decisions without fear of a negative reaction, without feeling questioned or put down. Once he feels secure and confident again, there will be more space for discussion and constructive criticism. Right n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 06:10 PM |
| 3 | Was I disrespectful?In an ideal world we would all be open to criticism, everyone would know how to voice criticism respectfully and appropriately, and no one would get defensive. But something went wrong here. I get the impression that it went wrong enough times that the negative interaction is now automatic - any criticism elicits the most negative response, and maybe even small things elicit criticism, too. Obviously he was wrong to get so defensive. And yet, does saying "you are wrong and I am right" ever solve… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 05:57 PM |
| 3 | When "conventionally attractive" guys seem to regularly pursue "less" "conventionally attractive" women is there a reason behind it or is it just their type?You have issues you need to solve. The internet is not a substitute for therapy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 02:15 PM |
| 8 | Was I disrespectful?Disclaimer: I'm younger than you, have been married for less than you have, and I might not be the best person to give you advice. I'm afraid this will be a common problem unless some of the more experienced ECs want to chime in. I get why you were upset. Your husband's reaction seems definitely disproportionate... but I also see why he might have felt attacked. Already knowing that he had in fact moved the eggs, saying "did you move the eggs? They're all going to die now" is not a genuine quest… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/07/23 10:29 AM |
| 7 | When "conventionally attractive" guys seem to regularly pursue "less" "conventionally attractive" women is there a reason behind it or is it just their type?Then you're either A) looking for a reason to be upset B) hoping that the Internet will solve a bunch deeply rooted insecurities You don't need A, and B doesn' work. Are you happy and secure in this relationship? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/23 02:09 PM |
| 6 | When "conventionally attractive" guys seem to regularly pursue "less" "conventionally attractive" women is there a reason behind it or is it just their type?Like that he thinks these types are easier to control or "easier" in general? Is this something else your friends have said or that you're worried about in your current relationship? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/23 11:54 AM |
| 5 | Confused on who to “aim” for in LTRsAhhhh this must have been going on since the first woman walked on earth. Skinny girls want curves, curvy girls want to be flat, curly girls want straight hair, straight haired girls want curls, etc. You are YOU. You cannot become someone else and you shouldn't anyway. You can only be the best possible version of yourself. This is your body, you can only learn to love it. Learn to dress in a way that compliments you, enhance what you like and dissimulate what you don't like. There's no point in … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/23 02:34 PM |
| 1 | Age difference in relationshipsI think you're looking at it from the wrong angle. A 22-26 age gap is not problematic per se, but the dynamic could be unhealthy regardless. In your last thread you've got great suggestions on what's actually problematic and how to address the issues. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/23 12:53 AM |
| 1 | What career do you have/ are pursuing?I don't disagree with what you're saying, we're probably just looking at it from different angles. And picturing different degrees of "bad teeth" lol. I know dozens of male doctors and their wives aren't often that gorgeous-even-in-rags attractive. Put together and well dressed, yes. But I'd say average looks enhanced with money. I disagree with this: Realistically... Who would work as a cleaner when she can work hospitality? Who would work hospitality when she can work retail (no tipping in my … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/23 12:50 AM |
| 1 | Age difference in relationshipsDo you ask because you think something might be wrong with your current age gap? | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/07/23 12:16 AM |
| 1 | What career do you have/ are pursuing?Flip side: lower class people (and I was poor for a long time, so there's no judgment here) don't have as much money to take care of their appearance. I chose whatever shampoo that was on sale at 0.89 instead of 0.99. I wore ill-fitting clothes with the wrong style for my bodyshape, just because they were on sale or because someone had graciously gifted them to me. My hair looks way better now that I can afford the right shampoo, conditioner, hair mask and styling products and I can get professi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 10:59 PM |
| 3 | FR: I left a bad relationship at 23 and my life didn't end.I don't know your specific circumstances, but boredom is not usually a good reason to stay with someone. You should want him, not just... not want the alternative, you know? If you don't have the same long term goals, staying together long term might not be the best solution. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 10:10 PM |
| 1 | What career do you have/ are pursuing?It can, but it's not usual. People usually marry in their social circle. Across and slightly up (women) or slightly down (men), but not very far up or down. Doctor + doctor, doctor + nurse, doctor + hospital admin clerk, doctor + lab worker, but usually not doctor + hospital cleaning staff. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 10:04 PM |
| 3 | FR: I left a bad relationship at 23 and my life didn't end.Yup. I did things for my husband that made sense at 24, but would have been crazy a few years earlier. We talked marriage and kids from the very beginning, changed jobs and moved hundreds of km to be together after a few months, spent ungodly amounts of money on plane tickets... from first date to marriage it was about 2 years (we did know each other as friends long before getting together, to be fair) and it did not feel rushed at all. Move it to first date at 20 and married at 22, it would hav… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 09:52 PM |
| 4 | FR: I left a bad relationship at 23 and my life didn't end.Attraction and respect are vital! I think one thing we don't realize when we're younger, is that relationships can develop at a faster pace when you're older. A reasonable timeline at 30 would not necessarily be reasonable at 20, and vice versa. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 03:06 PM |
| 4 | FR: I left a bad relationship at 23 and my life didn't end.Exactly! Wasting time on a bad relationship won't get you a happy marriage. In our case, we stayed together out of habit... I wasn't even comfortable anymore. I felt so lonely, abandoned. But wth your first love you can kinda get convinced that you'll NEVER find anything like that again, you know? I desperately wanted to make it work because we'd been together for so long. I'm glad I left, and I heard he's doing better now. We probably needed space to grow on our own. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 02:52 PM |
| 0 | How to be more softI remember being 17 and trapped with crazy yelling, screaming people who would play the victim and guilt-trip me into thinking that I was the problem. I was not. Since you mentioned your father's outbursts more than once, I'm guessing you might be in a similar situation. Or maybe you're just dealing the usual annoyances a teenage girl must deal with, with the impulse control and emotional regulation of a teenage girl. I still lean towards the first scenario. Nothing is wrong with you. Nothing. Y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 11:20 AM |
| 2 | What career do you have/ are pursuing?Men don’t care about the “prestige” or money of your career, they just like a woman who is into what they do and is interesting. Well to be fair some do care. It's not relevant for sexual attraction - I think we all agree a man won't get hard for our degree - but in a LTR/marriage money and social status might be considered. We don't see many doctors married to cashiers, even if the wife might eventually become a SAHM. I don't say this against OP's preferred career - the right guy could find it … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/23 09:59 AM |
| – | What is consent between two people that are datingYou are addicted to drama. I wanted to elaborate a bit more but I've got nothing to add to u/youllknowwhenitstime 's comments. She said it all, and much better than I would have. Please get therapy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/23 08:16 PM |
| 6 | What career do you have/ are pursuing?I'm a nurse. Balacing life with 24/7 shifts, on-call nights and very few free holydays/weekends is... not easy. But I work in a field I'm passionate about and we make it work. I was lucky to find a man who is very understanding of the issue and who was willing to tweak his work hours when our family needed it. I wouldn't discourage you from going into the animation industry. A feminine woman who wants a masculine partner isn't really a set "type" - it's not like you'd only expect to find her tea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/23 12:38 PM |
| 2 | Thoughts on p*rn in relationshipsNot sharp enough I would say... | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/23 06:09 AM |
| 6 | Thoughts on p*rn in relationshipshe basically just used them to get off and then disposed of them I would not respect a man who used women as disposable aids to masturbation. You can have mutually casual sex while keeping respect for the people you're choosing as sexual partners. You can also notice an attractive woman without blurting out "her tits are hot" to your girlfriend - you don't have to speak aloud every little thing your brain farts. Why is he talking so much about his past sexual partners to his girlfriend, anyway? … | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/07/23 11:47 PM |
| 8 | Thoughts on p*rn in relationshipsThis is a bit of an uncomfortable reality, when a man loves a woman, he no longer likes her usually. ...??? | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/07/23 11:36 PM |
| 25 | Do you offer to pay the bill?This topic comes up really often. A search in the subreddit could be a good place to start. My 2 cents: don't feel obligated to have sex just because the man paid. If you sense the man expects sex in exchange for the dinner (not just misinterprets your signals, but expects it), split the bill and don't see him again. Sex is no payback. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/07/23 09:52 PM |
| 41 | I’m not his ideal woman, still should I give it a try?but now I’m just like feeling like a placeholder or I don’t know, a distraction until his find what he truly wants. You had ONE date. You are just now getting to know each other. Instead of worrying about wasting time on him in case he wants a different woman you should be deciding if YOU want HIM. He said he wants to pass on his culture to his children. Why are you spinning it into this worst case scenario where he strings you along until he finds this phantomatical ideal Ukrain woman of his dr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/07/23 02:46 PM |
| 5 | About modesty and famous trad women.Your idea of modesty is not everyone's idea of modesty. Your value of modesty is not everyone's value - no, not even every trad person's. And not everyone's trad here. Why are you so horrified? What do you think is in someone's heart when she wears tight fitting pants or a short skirt? | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/07/23 12:34 PM |
| 20 | I snappedYou need to differentiate what's a boundary vs what's a preference. Boundaries define what you find acceptable. If something goes against your values, threatens your wellbeing or similar, then draw the boundary. You don't have to be all soft and sweet when you do it. If it's a line you won't move, than that's it: you won't move it. Be firm about it. However, from your post I suspect that you might be mistaking "people crossing your boundaries" with "people doing something you don't like". You ca… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/07/23 08:02 AM |
| 6 | Do you offer to pay your half on the first date?If I wanted to see the man again/stay out with him longer, I'd offer o pay for the next date or for coffee/drinks/movie tickets or something afterwards. If not, I'd offer to split the bill. If the man offered to pay but would clearly take it as a signal of my... sexual availability?, then I would insist to split the bill. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/07/23 07:32 AM |
| 1 | Single at 31 - how do I not freak out?What you find most physically attractive vs what you look for in a life partner are two different things. A 40 year old man might find a 20 year old woman very attractive and still not want a 20 year old wife. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/07/23 01:15 PM |
| 6 | Empowering Myself with Natural Contraception: The Untapped Potential of Temperature and Hormone Trackingit's way too much work for most women to regulate their own hormones to the extent that they would be incapable of conception, What so you mean with this? Fertility-awareness based methods are way to track your cycle, not regulate it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/07/23 12:39 PM |
| 2 | My (35F) ex husband (33M) left me for an engineer (26F) from his work, will he want me back some day?In another comment she says she also requested the separation "but took it back". Telling someone you want a divorce is one of those things that cannot be taken back. It leaves a mark. But he's at fault for leaving at her request?? | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/07/23 06:10 PM |
| 1 | My (35F) ex husband (33M) left me for an engineer (26F) from his work, will he want me back some day?It sounds like she wants him back as her ticket for the lifestyle she used to have with him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/07/23 06:05 PM |
| 1 | My (35F) ex husband (33M) left me for an engineer (26F) from his work, will he want me back some day?You make it sound like an engineering degree falls in your lap if you're really lucky. People work hard, get their education and get a job usually... | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/07/23 05:55 PM |
| 4 | Is therapy good enough of a reason to go into nun mode?However, I'm scared of wasting time now that I'm at my "peak"; even though it wouldn't possibly be well-used. You're 22. You don't have an expiry date stamped on your forehead. Please take the time you need and take care of yourself. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/07/23 09:43 AM |
| 3 | I freaking love Laura Doyle!My thoughts exactly. That phrase was useful at the beginning to show trust in his decision making maybe. And of course I still say that if I truly don't have a preference. But now... we have a clear, well defined power dynamic in place (probably on the more extreme side of RPW? We like it this way). I know he has the last say and he knows he has the last say. If he asks for my opinion, or if I offer it, it's just that: my opinion. If he wants to delegate something to me, I'll suck it up and make… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/23 03:14 PM |
| 10 | I freaking love Laura Doyle!Personally, I really like some of her writing, and really dislike some. Like... yes I AM telling my husband that he missed the highway exit? His masculinity is not going to crumble under the weight of a "Uh, I think that was our exit - or are you taking a different route?" - he's going to thank me and keep driving and our marriage won't be doomed. And no I am not staying with a man who's verbally abusive and no I am not causing the verbal abuse by disrespecting him??? | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/23 01:06 PM |
| 16 | Happily married women, did you JUST KNOW he was the one early on? Or did you marry out of convenience and it turned out great?What do you mean with convenience? "I am at an age at which I should probably get married, I happen to be with this guy who doesn't have anything really wrong (but not really right either), and I worry that I'm running out of time"? I chose my husband because I wanted to marry HIM, not because I wanted to get married. I wanted him as my husband, I didn't want a husband. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/23 12:39 AM |
| 1 | RPW and pregnancyOh I'll read it ASAP! Believe me I tried anything and everything. The nausea was so debilitating that I was basically bedridden for weeks in my first trimester. "Morning" sickness is a lie. A LIE! Ugh. Now it's much much better but I'm still on anti nausea meds. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/07/23 09:12 PM |
| 2 | Adding value through hard skillsUgh, the app crashed on me just as I was finishing a well thought response (aka a two volumes novel). I'll synthesize. Everyone needs basic life skills to function as an adult. Finances, cooking, cleaning and a very very little amount of sewing are the bare minimum - you don't need to be excellent, but you need to do a passable job with this stuff. I would add some basic home maintenance to the list, but that would be hypocritical - I could always find a tall friend to change lightbulbs for me :… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/07/23 10:29 PM |
| 2 | RPW and pregnancyI was always available for sexual stuff (what depended on the phase of pregnancy and postpartum). I thought I would be too... we never had issues on that front. First trimester hit me hard (and sex is not happening when one is walking around with a puke bowl lol), and then everything just... started to take so.much.effort, you know? I think I underestimated how physically challenging pregnancy would be - I had this picture in mind of me gracefully sailing through pregnancy... LOL. Working on thi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/07/23 05:01 AM |
| 1 | RPW and pregnancyCongrats! How's your nausea now? For me, end of month 4 was when I went from "ughhh this one stays an only child" to "ok, it's doable" :D | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/07/23 04:20 AM |
| 3 | RPW and pregnancyUpdate: after processing it a bit, I opened up to him. It turns out my husband is actually not opposed to his wife wanting a more active sex life LOL. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/23 10:07 PM |
| 3 | RPW and pregnancyThank you, you're really kind. Wishing you the same! | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/23 08:35 PM |
| 1 | RPW and pregnancyYou're right to be honest. Thanks for helping me process it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/23 07:05 PM |
| 3 | RPW and pregnancyI haven't managed a nap in the last few weeks because we've been so busy. I just took one and the gloom is gone... I guess being so tired doesn't help my mood (hello newborn days to come!). Overall it's been a happy and positive experience, I might just need to adjust expectations about myself. Even a text to communicate that you see how much slack your husband has picked up while you’re out of commission would probably make him smile if you don’t do this already. Yes!! I've been doing my best t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/23 01:35 PM |
| 3 | RPW and pregnancyThank you. A heat-wave and pelvic pain have recently stopped most exercise for me, but I know I should get back to it. Getting out of bed doesn't count as a workout even if it feels like it lol. I should probably make more of an effort to be intimate with my husband, even in non sexual way... I'm just so tired, and there's so much going on, I feel like I can barely keep up some days. He's doing so much too. I wish I could just give ourselves some grace but I see other pregnant women do everrrrrr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/23 06:43 AM |
| 1 | RPW and pregnancyI'd like to prioritize it too. But when I ask him to slow down a bit and get some time for ourselves, he... has a different definition of "slowing down"? I can't keep up and he ends up doing insane amounts of work. I think he's feeling a lot of pressure to take care of us. Between his job, (absolutely necessary) home projects, family issues etc. he's overextended. I miss intimacy, but bringing this up or initiating almost feels like I'm demanding even more of his time and energy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/23 06:28 AM |
| 1 | RPW and pregnancyIs it him or you that's preventing sexual activity right now? Getting some of those feel good hormones may actually bring some comfort in the weirdness of pregnancy. At the beginning it was my constant sickness. Now it's mostly life getting in the way... either he's exhausted or I'm genuinely too tired and in pain. We have a lot of extra stuff on our plate right now, especially him as he needs to do more for me. When we finally get time to be together, we're both exhausted. I hesitate to tell hi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/23 05:40 AM |
| 2 | The "What do YOU want to eat?" cycle and how to break itI'm not putting blame on anyone. Obviously dinner can be just dinner; but I don't come to RPW to swap recipes or to REALLY ask what I should make for dinner. In this case I went from the small stuff to the big stuff, using the dinner issue as an "excuse" to get to the core of RPW. What does a male-led relationship mean? What if I feel that he's not taking charge of some stuff the way I want/need/like? I'm talking to the woman who finds herself in a certain situation, a situation she might not li… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/07/23 03:23 PM |
| 1 | The "What do YOU want to eat?" cycle and how to break itWhy are we trying to put blame on someone? What do you mean? | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/07/23 02:38 PM |
| 1 | Shift in husband’s behaviorAaand I'm back. Posting this as a separate comment because it's a bit (coff) long. I'll start by recommendig something to read: 1) From RPW: The whole For women only recap, in particular Ch 2 (Respect and love) and Ch 3 (Insecurity and affirmation). The Soft place to land post and the Bids for connection post. 2) The seven principles to making marriage work, by Gottman. I think online you can find good condensed versions of the content (there's a website, reviews, videos and podcasts) if you don… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/07/23 11:57 AM |
| 2 | The "What do YOU want to eat?" cycle and how to break itThank you! We're over the moon. I'm definitely more pathetic when pregnant LOL! My husband has been nothing but wonderful and supportive. I've been working on accepting that for the current moment, this is how life is, and it's ok to slow down and rely on him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 07:44 PM |
| 2 | The "What do YOU want to eat?" cycle and how to break itThese days it's more like Me: "I don't want to cook" Him:"ok I'll go get BBQ" Lol I sympathize. At the moment we're VERY pregnant, sick, working over time, so we'll just look at each other and read each other's mind: "So... I guess it's pizza tonight." Usually it's prettt smooth for us, esp. now that we've gotten over the initial "I need a detailed plan of 7 lunches + 7 dinners + 2 potential back ups" vs "I don't know what I want to eat tomorrow, let alone next week" friction. Sometimes I plan, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 05:57 PM |
| 1 | The "What do YOU want to eat?" cycle and how to break itCongrats on your new baby! Newborn survival mode is a different level for sure. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 05:46 PM |
| 2 | The "What do YOU want to eat?" cycle and how to break itI like the three options idea. How would you make it happen as the woman? "Give me three options and I'll choose" sounds a bit too bossy for my taste. Personally I like the reverse: I think of the options and submit them to him. I love meal planning, my husband doesn't. We compromised by a) me respecting that he does NOT want to plan a whole week meals in advance and b) him agreeing to a flexible list of some meals to pick from. I fear in some cases it might only move the "what do YOU want" issu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 03:56 PM |
| 40 | Shift in husband’s behaviorSo on your plate you have infertility, major work and school stress for him, possibly work stress for you too (reading your comment history), see each other very little because of conflicting schedules, and finances are not great? That's a lot. It really is. No wonder you feel like something is off. This struck me: I kept waiting for things to change, for him to become tired of me. Is it possible that you were insecure about it and now your insecurities are speaking for you? You feel that he's p… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 01:15 PM |
| 15 | Shift in husband’s behaviorLogic says there’s a reason for everything things don’t happen for no reason and behaviour changes for a reason. There is a long, long list of reasons to examine before assuming infidelity. Jumping straight to the worst possible conclusion about your husband is not a smart way to stay happily married. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 12:38 PM |
| 15 | Shift in husband’s behaviorthink if anything has changed about myself and if not I would assume there’s another woman in the picture. That's a BIG jump to make imo. It would a lot more than a slight decrease in chemistry/attention to assume infidelity from a loving, devoted husband. In the husband's place I would be appalled and frankly furious. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 11:26 AM |
| 2 | The "What do YOU want to eat?" cycle and how to break itI don't think you need to worry. You're just having a conversation and it doesn's sound like it's an issue for the two of you! | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 08:51 AM |
| 1 | The "What do YOU want to eat?" cycle and how to break itWomen can't expect a man to read a woman's mind, and, a lot of men experience the whole "I don't want anything, I'm not hungry" stance or later (sometimes months later) bring up the fact that we never ask you what you want, or eat some of our food anyways after repeatedly encouraging you to order something. Making it clear to us what you want gives us the opportunity to provide it for you; which is what men you want, want to do for you. Yes! It makes it easier for both. I understand you disagree… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/23 03:35 AM |
| 3 | How can I gently help my boyfriend see that he doesn’t actually want what he says his dreams are?From a comment of yours: I genuinely really do this he is a very talented man and I want him to do something valuable that he enjoys. My dad always taught me to look for a good fit between the gifts god gave you, what you’re interested, and what the world needs. His unique personality just fits sooo well with “plant biology” and geez Louise we need some “plant biologists” in this world. Even the parts of AI that he’s interested in seem to have a way of circling back to this other interest. This … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/06/23 03:05 PM |
| – | Submission or Leadership - which should come first?I'd lke to add... being the submissive partner doesn't even mean we don't ever take initiative or make decisions or that we expect our men to have no weaknesses and no need for help. Obviously we do take the lead sometimes too. "I like my man to be a leader" really reads "I like my man to be a leader", not "I don't want to make a single decision ever". And "I'm the leader" doesn't read "I don't want my woman's input and I don't recognize what she brings to the table ever". I'm a highly skilled n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/06/23 02:42 PM |
| 1 | Submission or Leadership - which should come first?But then again, what should the woman do to make him understand what he is doing wrong? If he is making mistakes she should be able to correct. Start by not assuming that it is your place to correct another adult and make him understand what he's doing wrong. You (generic) are not his mother, his boss, or the ultimate judge of right vs wrong. Leading vs following... it's a dance, really. You signal that you're open to dance, he asks you, and hopefully he'll lead the dance well enough. But if you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/23 10:56 PM |
| 16 | Boyfriend traveling with a female friend without telling me. Is this wrong or I'm just being over?I'm as hippy as they come and "I'm traveling with a friend... actually that friend we talked about... actually just the two of us..." still sounds fishy. I'm not saying he's cheating, but he definitely knew OP would not he happy about it. If it was all in perfectly good faith, then he's an idiot, not a hippy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/23 09:07 AM |
| 11 | Boyfriend traveling with a female friend without telling me. Is this wrong or I'm just being over?Well, she asked what he was doing and he kept it as vague as possible until OP specifically asked if he was with the friend in question and if they were alone. That's... peculiar. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/23 07:23 AM |
| 49 | Boyfriend traveling with a female friend without telling me. Is this wrong or I'm just being over?During the updates I asked if he was alone he said he’s with friend (he did tell me that he will be traveling with friends but didnt specify which friend and how many of them are traveling together) so I asked if it’s the wedding partner friend he said yes and when asked if just the two of them he said yes. [...] It might be a miscommunication, but I just don’t get why he doesn’t tell me about it until I asked. I think you know why. His wedding culture can be whatever he says, but if he's with y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/23 07:07 AM |
| 19 | Boyfriend traveling with a female friend without telling me. Is this wrong or I'm just being over?Getting upset at it now is not really reasonable; they've already made plans. I think THAT is exactly why OP has every right to be upset. He planned a week long vacation with this female friend without telling OP, and after OP told him that she's uncomfortable with the friend being there with him for the wedding. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/23 06:51 AM |
| 1 | Submitting to sexI feel like it would be very hurtful to be completely honest with him You can be naked with him and still not be intimate. Unless you are honest with him, you won't really be able to let go and just... be. Be there together. I don't think the issue here is that you don't orgasm. Plenty of people don't orgasm and are still able to have a fulfilling sex life. I think what's missing here is intimacy. There's so much distance. Sex sounds more like a dreadful chore that has to be planned, rather than… | /r/RedPillWives | 27/06/23 08:35 PM |
| 1 | Do you share location w ur bfNo. If he wants to know where I am, he can ask. We're married and spend most of our free time together - if I'm alone, I want to be ALONE. I didn't feel the need when he was traveling or when I was living abroad, and I don't feel the need now. I'd consider it if my husband wanted to share locations for safety purposes. I wouldn't consider it for a boyfriend. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/06/23 04:57 PM |
| 4 | I’d really love some RPW advice and help staying groundedI hope I didn't sound insensitive or unkind. I get why you might feel hurt and insecurity about this. It's a shitty situation to be in and the timing is horrible. I'm in a rush now but I'll try to find time later to teply. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/23 09:46 PM |
| 17 | I’d really love some RPW advice and help staying groundedHow bad would it be to have the conversation over FaceTime? Very bad imo. After 3 months of no contact, in a presumably very stressful situation for him, with no idea that this has been troubling you... it would be an ambush. You don't ambush your partner when they most need you. It sounds like you finding out about his porn use has made you reflect on your sex life. It's ok to realize that something needs to be adjusted, that maybe your needs were not being fully met, that you'd like to try som… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/06/23 08:36 PM |
| 3 | Is it cheap to stop having premarital sex as a high body count woman?All hail the Messiah, he who has cometh to save us. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/23 05:00 PM |
| 13 | Media's Portrayal of Tradwives1 in 3 mothers is a SAHM. No one is bashing SAHMs. "Tradwives" are a movement only relevant on the internet, where idealizing the good ol' days is on trend right now. Not really relevant on the actual lives of actual stay-at-home wives and mothers. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/05/23 08:21 AM |
| 1 | CMV: traditional marriage vows are too strictI think you're focusing on the letter of the vows and not the spirit. You vow to face adversities, sickness etc. together as a couple. There's no "together as a couple" in abuse, and "til death do us part" doesn't mean "til you beat me to death". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/05/23 03:19 AM |
| 2 | CMV: traditional marriage vows are too strictLet's then take away all expectations of faithfulness (however the couple decides to define "faithfulness") because it's hard and it's often betrayed? Yeah, this stuff takes effort. I don't see your point. Having "irreconcilable differences" with your spouse and being abused are VASTLY different positions. And why are we placing the onus on the abused spouse not to divorce, vs expecting people not to abuse their family? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/05/23 12:15 AM |
| 2 | CMV: traditional marriage vows are too strict"For worse" means "I won't leave you just because we are in a tough spot". It does not mean "when you put us a in a tough spot by beating me black and blue". Life has adversities that we can't control and that we face together. Abuse is not an adversity, it's a choice. It's also not "the second you're no longer happy", as some comments here suggest. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/23 10:07 PM |
| 3 | This sub: "If you're a man, you should focus on TRP." Also this sub: "A man with RP knowledge is a red flag."Walled garden WTF. This sub is not a harem. It's a space for women who want to discuss femininity and their (present or desired) male-led relationship. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/23 08:57 PM |
| 71 | Would you marry a man who divorced 10 years ago because of infidelity?Why. Why would anyone think this is a good idea. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/23 01:39 PM |
| 6 | Do you think it’s possible to be a mainly stay at home wife, only working part-time and have my man be the main breadwinner if I don’t want kids?The way you worded it, it sounds like you want to find your soulmate AS your ticket to financial support. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/23 01:19 PM |
| 28 | Do you think it’s possible to be a mainly stay at home wife, only working part-time and have my man be the main breadwinner if I don’t want kids?I think some men might agree to this, if your part time job served to contribuite to the family finances while allowing you to take care of the home. Getting his money as "our" money, while keeping all your money to yourself? Mmmh. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/05/23 11:19 AM |
| 9 | Boyfriend treatment vs husband treatment? Do you draw a line somewhere?My line was "do not make long term changes for someone who won't be there in the long term". You can be caring AND smart. Yes, cook your boyfriend cookies everyday you want. No, don't drop out of school because your boyfriend of two months says he wants a stay-at-home wife in the future. I made HUGE changes for my then-boyfriend, after a few months. Moved hundreds of miles (twice!), changed job (twice!), took on a 2-hour commute almost everyday, lived with him for a few weeks in-between moving, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/23 08:06 PM |
| 10 | Dating tips for female medical students and doctorsThis is definitely something that happened to me and I'd like to know what you think about it or how best to embody that feminine emotional maturity. Not OP and not a doctor. I'll add my 2 cents too as a medical professional (I'd be considered a high-level nurse in the US I think? Not sure what the specific word is). For a time, professionally I had to deal with a lot of very sick babies, dying babies, dead babies. It was brutal. Emotional maturity for me meant that I could accept it when it suc… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/23 10:37 AM |
| 1 | Am I ignoring red flags?It's fine, enjoy your kinks. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/04/23 08:07 AM |
| 7 | Do men actually care if a woman is smart/professionally successful or not?Ok so can you explain then what the mindset of like guys in college who are premed (who like have really good stats and are set for like Ivy League med schools) are dating like plastic Barbie doll types who aren't really pursuing any academic field, but are like extremely pretty? College guys are usually not looking for marriage yet. Premed college students and successful high-earning professionals are worlds apart. (Besides, some of those "Barbie dolls" could actually have... a personality.) | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/23 09:11 PM |
| 7 | Do men actually care if a woman is smart/professionally successful or not?I am. I'm a nurse and many of my coworkers are also married to men who hold lower degrees or no degree at all. Many are the higher earner in the couple. I always laugh when I hear that (female) nurses marry doctors. On the other hand, about half of the surgeons I work with are married to other surgeons/doctors. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/23 09:07 PM |
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