Construction00023 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Wife moved out a month ago and now is trying to get a no contact order on me so I have no where to live. Respect. Thank you. I see that it summarizes a lot of the collective wisdom of this community. It is solid advice.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/07/26 11:19 PM
1	Wife moved out a month ago and now is trying to get a no contact order on me so I have no where to live. Everytime this is posted I can't tell if if it's an automated response (rinse & repeat) or what the tone is (empathy and encouragement or sarcasm) 🤨	/r/Divorce_Men	23/07/26 10:13 PM
1	Not doing ok anymore https://youtu.be/1JifoYbnrDM?is=H2FWyP4Gyt8wyoza	/r/Divorce_Men	17/07/26 12:27 AM
1	Not doing ok anymore There are telehealth providers that are pay what you can and your health insurance probably has in network providers. Some of that big telehealth names include Betterhelp, Talkspace, Growtherapy, Telehealth. If you have insurance you could pay 20/session. I haven't discovered or fixed anything, but I always feel more peaceful after talking to my therapist.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/07/26 12:05 AM
4	Divorce is finalized The reiteration to remain calm and just seeing that other people are going through the same things have helped me cope. This is a clear, to the point summary of how to conduct yourself when dealing with this scenario.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/26 04:53 PM
3	The "I checked out a long time ago" excuse The only thing I disagree with is pushing back, why rationalize with someone who thinks your role is to give them something only they can provide themselves. Trying to talk sense and reason with someone who talks this baloney about being checked out is like trying to convince Harley Quinn to be rational. If someones that far gone, they're gone. I also disagree with this idea of the man necessarily leaving, why the f am I supposed to upend my life because the person who I've been sacrificing for …	/r/Divorce_Men	16/06/26 10:00 PM
2	Hit me like a punch to the gut Likewise the enemy wins twice if we allow another person's actions that change our trajectory and purpose. They already won by breaking the family until but they will not win the war if we remain firmly grounded. 👊	/r/Divorce_Men	16/06/26 03:37 AM
2	Hit me like a punch to the gut 🙏 trying to keep a level head and keep fighting the good fight and take everything ok ne day at a time, but it's hard. I find if I neglect sleep, don't exercise or stop taking my antidepressant meds even for a few days, the anger come in hard. But I'm hoping I will never forget that they're watching and what I do in the next 12-24 months will shape their futures and image of me into adulthood.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/06/26 02:51 AM
1	Hit me like a punch to the gut No but they realize the guy she was talking the on the phone for hours a day for four months was oddly close for comfort. And they often asked why she was talking to this guy so much. They don't understand cheating/sexual stuff yet.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/06/26 02:37 AM
1	Hit me like a punch to the gut Yep two young preteens. 😞	/r/Divorce_Men	16/06/26 02:30 AM
2	Hit me like a punch to the gut She cut me off long before the discovery so no concern in terms of contracting anything. But I'd been waiting and debating whether to hire legal and the discovery was like a kick in the as to prepare for battle. I retained counsel the next day. I'd been patiently and naiely waiting thinking this was menopausal midlife thing that would blow over eventually. It was my pearl harbor moment that my enemy was right in front of me. I didn't even confront her about it or mention that I was aware of this…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/06/26 02:30 AM
1	Hit me like a punch to the gut You're right but I think about it this way, truly genuine people not just women but men too are like diamonds in the sand. Women like the ones who raised us are extremely rare so the likelihood you have a real person who wants to be vulnerable and share a life with you is very fleeting. They same way we actually need a strong military, we need a ready defense because the adversaries may attack at a moments notice. In the same way the unseen enemy is always looking for a way in to ruin your life …	/r/Divorce_Men	15/06/26 06:00 PM
3	Hit me like a punch to the gut May I always have my guard up going forward so that I will never again accept red flags under the guise of character flaws and the notion that "nobody is perfect". It it feels like you're always doing the heavy lifting and adjusting to the other person then it's a sign something is off. And I know now this is not something that will improve over time. Damn shame it took a 15 year relationship for my slow azz to understand that concept.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/06/26 04:50 PM
2	Hit me like a punch to the gut Brutal bro I feel you though my stbx still wears the band and I imagine will continue to want to possess both the engagement ring and band due to the vale of the diamonds and the gold. My stomach dropped and I realized the depth of her insanity and heartlessness when I opened a bag that was lying around in the basement that was essentially her h03 go bag with a toothbrush kit, lube, condoms, and lingerie. It all came together instantly how she would sit on the couch like the weed girl from the 9…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/06/26 04:46 PM
0	She pulled the pin today 100% agree she should be a wife 1st	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/26 06:59 PM
1	She pulled the pin today Again there are no universal truths and I'm not speaking of all single moms who walk away from a marriage without having a cause such as domestic violence, I'm only referring to this situation based on the few details provided. There are a certainly women who use the man as a means to conceive which is what appear to have happened here.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/26 06:57 PM
2	She pulled the pin today Not talking about all scenarios but the OPs scenario where the woman married him m gets her child and suddenly asks for separation/divorce. Like others mentioned there's nothing sudden here and without knowing details it seems like it was either part of her thinking from the foundation or she didn't really love him to begin with but wanted to be a mother (not a wife).	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/26 06:51 PM
5	She pulled the pin today "why have this beautiful child with me and then pull this shit" Go back and watch The Switch staring Jennifer Aniston. In a society that's evolved historically from women having value defined by their reproductive ability, we still have status and self worth defined from the ability to produce and successfully raise children. She now has the kid which is basically like a Hermes bag in the eyes of other women she seeks validation from. And the fact she got the child from a co partner who actually…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/26 03:06 PM
2	Total payout during divorce You seem like you have a healthy perspective. It's just money and your ability to let it and her go is directly correlated with your peace. Besides fight for what is is not fair only benefits the lawyers. System is designed to penalize the primary income earner under pretext of them being helpless or unable to maintain their life. Inspiring 👏	/r/Divorce_Men	06/06/26 06:23 PM
2	How do I deal with this rage Reread this and realized you don't have kids maybe that's a good thing because when it's all over you can start clean after your get over the grief of losing the relationship. You don't have to to interact or coparent with her.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/06/26 03:08 AM
2	How do I deal with this rage It's part of the enemy's plan to get you to do something that further jeprodizes your future. Don't take the bait. Go hiking, golfing take the kid's go carting, go watch a live baseball game. Get out of the house more often and keep yourself busy so when you're home you're tired and in bed or dissociating in a book or show. I had that same anger that someone who I entrusted my life with and tied my identity to could betray me like that. To cope you could go to a break room place where they let y…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/06/26 03:05 AM
5	M[37] “blindsided” with divorce from F[39] This is one of the best summarizations of this fd up phenomenon. Asks for divorce, tells you that you were deficienct and suffocating, convinces you you're the problem and you need to fund their exit parachute. Hollyfukwad almost had me digging my own grave after spending the last two years being the provider, primary childcare, housekeeper, etc. Finally woke up and realized that I'm not responsible for another adult's choices. Not leaving the home I established and funded cuz you're not satisfi…	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/26 01:33 AM
2	It’s been about a month since I found out my wife is a cheater and the shock still feels fresh at times I feel for you I believe with her furnishing the house and carrying on as much as if nothings changed. I truly believe this is a tactic learned from other toxic/damaged people. Won't be intimate, treats you like you're the problem, "checked out" all of this is designed to get in your head and force you from your home. It almost worked for me then one morning I woke up and said why am I going to hand my psychological abuser the keys to a home I have but sweat and equity into for years. Same with …	/r/Divorce_Men	26/05/26 04:00 PM
2	It’s been about a month since I found out my wife is a cheater and the shock still feels fresh at times And ironically if the situation was reversed her and her whole family would have no issue picking up stones to murder you and portray you as a psychopath. But somehow you made her do all this and she's too overwhelmed and stressed out, so her emotions therefore justify not being accountable or even acknowledging the impact of her choices.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/05/26 03:04 PM
3	What do I want from dating? Maybe sex, but I think positive reinforcement more. Whenever I hear Olivia Dean's hit song on the radio I zone out a little thinking of how men in healthy relationships receive validation and appreciation and unfortunately I can't not contrast that with my situation of being taken for granted and held in contempt. My stbx will come in the room like Gordon Ramsay give a complaint or criticism and then announce several times she's going to do ...... Anything that separates her from me and the kids so she can "get a fkg break". The four hours watchi…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/26 07:18 AM
2	I Hope This Helps One Of Y’all Because That’s What We’re Here For 💪 Thank you 👍 my therapist asked me if I thought I was healing from the initial disappointment and bitterness of having my entire life invalidated this morning. I told her now it stings less but it's still very sore and I imagine it will be for a long time. Then we discussed what gratitude and day by day milestones could potentially be. But thanks for reminding me that instead of escaping the pain, maybe I just acknowledge it's presence and choose to fight the good fight by getting up every day. 💪	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/26 07:13 PM
15	I Hate that She Put me Here: Dating in 2026 is Horrendous There it is again (GLP1). In 50 years they'll uncover that it turns women into the theranos lady. 🫩	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/26 04:07 AM
4	Well boys I gave it my all in the divorce subreddit today 😂 "oh I'm soo free and happy now spreading my cheeks for randoms who don't give two fks about me I'm living my Carrie Bradshaw experience" smh lol	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/26 01:09 AM
1	Karma Okay boss	/r/Divorce_Men	10/05/26 02:52 AM
9	Karma Right their with you it feels like part of your heart is dying like what I imagine surviving a stroke feels like. when someone who you thought you were sharing a life with is willing to turn their back on you and the family you thought you had for an emotional affair. My wife went all in with her business partner and the would talk on the phone for hours at a time with this guy at first in the bedroom away from us or in the car. Seemed weird but you dismiss because you're thinking I've been with…	/r/Divorce_Men	09/05/26 06:22 AM
1	What to do... Good stuff simplicity is best. My stb turned off her location sharing months ago but this is the simplest hack.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/26 01:58 PM
1	What to do... GPS trackers show up on nearby phones by the way saying "a gps device appears to be moving with your location" https://www.reddit.com/r/AskTechnology/s/NddTe0dFmV	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/26 01:54 PM
3	What to do... Minimally an emotional affair and at worse, has actually taken it to another dimension. Is she suddenly buying new clothes beyond what she might typically but, getting new hairstyle or beauty treatments? Check your cell phone carriers phone usage logs download and run through Gemini asking it for a count of the most frequently called numbers in the past six months, if any of those numbers for her line are not relatives or friends, that's your answer. Verbatim this bomb was dropped on me 3 months…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/26 11:36 AM
3	Wife moved on fast Recently learned that child sxoffenders on ften target single moms as a way to access children too. Shows her character and lack of judgement that she that quickly is bringing someone around the kid. 😒	/r/Divorce_Men	26/04/26 05:07 PM
2	Need advice This is almost mirror of my life right now. Wholly parallel universe. Fight the good fight and remember the Alamo.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/26 12:17 AM
1	From rock bottom in October to feeling like myself again (and more) — for anyone at the start of separation Thanks another testimony to the fact you can get through it. I appreciate your mentoring the notion that nothing should feel forced. If you are right it wouldn't require a miracle to change the other person and the second point about letting things come naturally versus forcing or chasing for external validation. Happy for you. 👏	/r/Divorce_Men	19/04/26 06:47 PM
2	STBX sleeping with someone else Appreciate the empathy thank you.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/04/26 06:05 AM
5	STBX sleeping with someone else Everything you're recounting is exactly my experience. When she is in the house, she's laughing hysterically at random stuff on her phone or zoned out on the couch. She admitted when she first told me one morning in January that she was struggling to tell me, and it felt freeing to finally tell me (that she "wanted a separation and ultimately a divorce"). Much respect for fighting for your life and peace.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/04/26 04:27 AM
3	STBX sleeping with someone else Thank you	/r/Divorce_Men	05/04/26 03:53 AM
7	STBX sleeping with someone else That's what snaps me out of the spiral: remembering the faith my parents raised me in and how my father would always tells us that Christ suffered beyond what we can imagine, I know how disappointed they'd be if I wasted my life after how much they invested in me. Furthermore what a blow to my kids to take such a selfish stance and the permanent pain I would transfer to them. Lastly, I think of how stbx and AP would enjoy my life's savings. This tends to bring me back, but something I mes it's s…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/04/26 03:39 AM
5	STBX sleeping with someone else Any recommendations on YouTube or reading you can recommend for the sitting through it? When I ruminate on iti get very low and often think of self-harm ( I'm on antidepressants). Her and the AP are barely hiding it and my kids now him by name because she spends 2-3 hours a day talking to him on the phone.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/04/26 03:03 AM
1	Divorce Finalized Last Week: Burning all photos in a 55 Gal Drum I think in an era that no longer exists, those "rules" and "values" meant something. Not sure when the void that we have today took over. 😣	/r/Divorce_Men	02/04/26 03:21 AM
3	Divorce Finalized Last Week: Burning all photos in a 55 Gal Drum Spot on, thank you!	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/26 01:10 PM
5	Divorce Finalized Last Week: Burning all photos in a 55 Gal Drum Thank you it's amazing it's this shallow and superficial I would think the biological primitive needs for stability ( thinking of a woman who has children with 1 man) would outweigh any fleeting desire for some fake prince charming. But your right as soon as something with the physical appearance or earnings changes whereby she feels she has leverage all of a sudden she's running from the vows to honor for better or worse, for richer or poorer. #makeitmakesense	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/26 01:07 PM
2	Divorce Finalized Last Week: Burning all photos in a 55 Gal Drum Interesting so an intrinsic lack of commitment. I thought us men were stereotypically non-comittal. 🤦🏾‍♂️	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/26 12:59 PM
4	Divorce Finalized Last Week: Burning all photos in a 55 Gal Drum Right. She saw a classmate from 20 years prior posted a pic with a top male celebrity, and her reaction was bursting into tears. She always had insecurities, but this drug seems to have magnified the edgyness.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/26 12:05 AM
5	Divorce Finalized Last Week: Burning all photos in a 55 Gal Drum Soo bizarre. Still cannot figure out how does external validation cause anyone to abandon their closest connections. This drug is definitely messing with brain chemistry.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/26 11:44 PM
7	Divorce Finalized Last Week: Burning all photos in a 55 Gal Drum Thanks for pointing this out. I'm going to read that. Describes my wife to a yee, she went from mostly positive and pleasant to a Cruela Deville.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/26 10:22 PM
4	Divorce Finalized Last Week: Burning all photos in a 55 Gal Drum We're gonna look back on this Ozempic/magicpill srap in 20 years with an entirely different perspective 🎯	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/26 10:19 PM
7	Divorce Finalized Last Week: Burning all photos in a 55 Gal Drum I feel like I'm from another planet then. I grew up believing in love conquering all. I am dumbfounded that people would want to go straight to divorce and not even want to try working through problems.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/26 06:33 PM
15	Divorce Finalized Last Week: Burning all photos in a 55 Gal Drum What's up with this glp stuff turning women into soulless wolves? This is the 3rd instance in a month someone's mentioned that. Sadly, my wife of 13 years started flirting with men and told me she wants to separate and ultimately divorce. This all came to a head maybe two months into taking this stuff. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/wYHcQerkPl	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/26 06:23 PM
3	Let’s get to the point - did she leave us because of money, sex or boredom 🎯 thing is this unrealistic expectation is often buried and only manifests years into the relationship. could've saved us both a lot of effort by laying it out in the beginning.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/03/26 09:53 PM
6	Let’s get to the point - did she leave us because of money, sex or boredom I feel like the glp-1 has a yet unknown effect on the psychological state and possibly the level of dopamine in the system. Too many pre/near menopausal women are taking it, and then wanting to abandon their stable relationships within 12 months of using it. I hope a big law firm does a glp-1 class action for all the damage that it's doing.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/03/26 09:36 PM
0	Should I get a divorce My way or no way narcissist, almost textbook	/r/Divorce_Men	25/03/26 08:26 PM
1	Realizing I’m no longer chosen Yep, amazing. Never cared so much about vanity and appearance in the 15 years we've been together now she's buying serums, vitamins that restore moisture down there, all kinds of grooming stuff, unfing real. But I believe there is a God whose fair and just amd he will right wrongs. So im trying to keep it together for the sake of my freedom and my kid's future. 🫩😞	/r/Divorce_Men	25/03/26 11:18 AM
6	Realizing I’m no longer chosen When you said she didn't seem to care, that's the understatement of the year. She has no regard for you except for your ability to conveniently cover responsibility of childcare while she whores it up. I've seen elsewhere on FB for example, that the telltale sign of cheating is when they immediately go to shower upon getting "home" especially when that wasn't common prior. Tucking tucks man, I found a bag with expensive lingerie and a box of condoms in my house. This is 8 weeks after being told …	/r/Divorce_Men	25/03/26 03:24 AM
10	Being single after divorce has made...question The raw clarity of this reality is underappreciated, and sadly, many will take years or decades to accept this truth. I'm hoping I can get this into my conscience quickly and learn to adapt and overcome the desire for external companionship and desire.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/03/26 02:29 PM
3	How do you pop the question? Controlling and pushing away the other spouse's family is classic play in the depressed narcissist handbook. If they come around in a positive light or want to be involved in normal family interaction, it is somehow threatening and perhaps even painful for the narcissist. I honestly don't even know whether the rejection is a conscious choice on the narcissist's part. It sounds all too familiar and of course, you cannot get (and from their perspective, they feel they don't owe you) any decent exp…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/03/26 01:46 PM
1	The Damage and Destruction of Divorce https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2025/08/14/divorce-women-perimenopause-menopause/85622804007/ Perimenopause and divorce covariance is documented in the literature and there's also this negative peer energy from divorced/estranged/single females that for some is attractive like a flame to a moth for some women even in stable relationships.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/02/26 12:41 PM
1	Survived a High-Conflict Divorce with Kids - Lessons From the Trenches Solid advice thanks for breaking it down. I was confused about why a psychiatrist would recommend talk therapy to another specialist, but I can see the distinction based on this.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/02/26 02:32 PM
2	Survived a High-Conflict Divorce with Kids - Lessons From the Trenches For point #5 what's the general distinction between a therapist and a psychiatrist? Wouldn't both do take therapy and maybe if you're fortunate help talk out strategies for coping and managing the conflict?	/r/Divorce_Men	14/02/26 04:42 PM
2	Is there a union for divorced men? Was your reason for quitting based on the organizational politics or just not vibing with the local lodgeyou were a member of?	/r/Divorce_Men	14/02/26 04:28 PM
5	Questions for divorced people Spot on. There's something about Stanley's voice and consistency that is so soothing, I've been returning to him for 30 years. So glad InTouch has so much content readily available.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/02/26 04:42 PM
1	I am so sad ✊️	/r/Divorce_Men	09/02/26 01:36 AM
3	I am so sad The enemy who ripped your family apart wins twice if you commit suicide. Because you kid will have a permanent irreparable hole if you are completely absent from their life. I was having thoughts when my significant other woke me up and invalidated the last 13 years of my life efforts. But I am greater than the pain she wishes to project onto me, I am the dream of my parents and my ancestors and as my parents fought the good fight so will I. I'm starting therapy tomorrow and will be the best dam…	/r/Divorce_Men	09/02/26 01:16 AM
1	Just got served with divorce papers…. Is audio or body cam admissible? Now she's stopped calling me by phone but instead has the kids call me via what's app clearly puppeting whatever she's attempting to discuss via proxy. Figured this out on the third instance I think I'm taking to an 11-year-old and the call suddenly dropped when I gave a non-preferred response to the kid's question	/r/Divorce_Men	08/02/26 06:28 AM
3	Most guys don’t lose themselves in divorce because of the legal process... This is the executive summary that saved me hours of therapy. It didn't dawn on me until this post that your "why" and identity is tied to your "role" as a man, provider, father, husband and when that's taken from you your brain history reset which is not easy after years and decades. Like you mentioned the cliche advice is valid but that alone won't save you from freefall. Thank you for putting this so succinctly.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/02/26 09:02 PM
3	Crushed I feel ya, she reminded me of the red queen in Alice in Wonderland, irritable all the time. I recently in the last few years of our 15 year relationship (12 married) have been able to not allow the anger or complaining to affect me much. I would try to coach her thru her feelings too saying stuff like don't allow that negative energy to root in you. I bet she hated that in retrospect.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/02/26 04:00 AM
4	Crushed The fact that the marriage is so disposable is what is shocking to me. My wife woke me up last Sunday and said she wanted a divorce we have sex 1-2 a month including this month before the bomb, we rarely fight mainly because im conflict avoiding and just agree to everything, I stay the f outta her way when she's raging which is frequently (about her work, or some random bs). It just floors a decent, relatively sane person that someone could throw away a life especially when there's kids involved…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/02/26 03:21 AM