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CowBoyDanIndie Archive

View 1 post and 72 comments by CowBoyDanIndie on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

CowBoyDanIndie/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 02:55 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Thats not what happened at all, the account was only the liquid portion. It was moved and documented until it could be split, in part because she was draining the asset, she had already transferred several thousand out of the accounts in small transactions and cash withdrawals. There is nearly a million in non liquid marital assets to he divided. There is also a 6 figure difference in income, I was going to be pay APL either way. The “court” didn’t make a judgement, the law has a formula for how…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 11:06 AM
0

There hasn’t even been a judge involved yet dude. I have talked to other lawyers, this is all pretty standard in my state with the assets and income difference involved, stop pretending you actually know what the fuck you are talking about.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 12:15 AM
1

I did as my lawyer told me. My wife had refused to discuss or negotiate any terms, she was spending every night at her boyfriend’s apartment and was taking money out of the shared accounts. She came back to the house to scream at me and wash clothes. Btw the garnishment is standard in my state regardless of circumstances. Everything was documented, there was no funny business. And go fuck yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 07:40 PM
2

It’s ok to seek out solitude. There are some good books on the value of solitude.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 10:58 AM
5

Stop trying to make sense of it, stop trying to understand her, there is nothing to understand that will help you. Focus your energy on the future. What are you doing today? What are you doing this weekend and next week? What are your plans and goals for the next year? Where do you want to be in 5 years? What changes can you make today to stabilize and move towards the path that gets you where you want to be? Focus on a stable routine first, then work towards the future you want.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 10:55 AM
1

I can see the life, and in most ways it’s objectively better even after the financial hit. (Still fighting and in process.). I still miss a lot of things though, even though I know going back wouldn’t be good for me. We tried reconciliation, and while it was nice to see each other again and start acting like a couple, a lot of other things weren’t so good. I think it’s just habit. We were married 11 years when we separated. I spend less, eat healthier, sleep better etc alone, and while at first …
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 09:34 PM
2

My lawyer had me do cut her off before divorce was filed, she just filed a divorce complaint the day she noticed and got half the liquid funds and APL payments within a month, stolen right from my paycheck.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 10:55 AM
2

If you are married without a prenup it doesn’t matter whose name is on the account, it doesn’t matter whose name is on the deed, the title, or the debt. If it was incurred or earned during the marriage it is considered a marital asset. That said, she cannot just access it and take money, but the court can order you to give her money, and potentially throw you in jail if you do not comply. They can garnish your wages (even if you are cooperating!) and put leans on property or garnish tax refunds.…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 10:32 AM
4

Im sorry, you are gonna be paying her half your salary for a decade (alimony and child support) and shes taking half of everything. Your best bet to reduce your support payment is argueing she can go back to work, they can subtract her potential income from support. But everything you both earned will be split. If it’s “equitable distribution” she might actually get more than half.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 04:35 PM
1

Check your state laws, some like Texas aren’t as bad. Mine isn’t the worst though. It’s called Alimony Pendent Lite or APL. It basically rewards the lower income spouse for dragging out the divorce and making it as miserable as possible. It doesn’t even fucking matter that she moved her boyfriend into the god damn house I paid for the moment I moved out. Thank god we don’t have any children.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 12:54 AM
1

It’s literally a calculation in my states law, 33% of my net minus 40% of her net, they take it right from my paycheck before it even touched my account, and i have to keep her on my health insurance and pay 64% of her medical bills, she even got 1/3 of my bonus last year, I had to wait an entire year before I could push forward with a contested divorce, which my lawyer is doing now. Even though she filed the divorce complaint in the first place, she wont agree to terms.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 12:50 AM
1

Play nice if she’s not going after support. Legally she can force you to pay support and potentially her legal fees if she isn’t working and you are until the divorce is settled. My wife wasn’t working either but she wanted to fight, it’s been 15 months, $10k in my legal fees and $50k or so in support so far. If I am lucky I might get to a court hearing in another 3 months, but probably 6.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 12:37 AM
1

42, separated LAST January, no kids, but otherwise feeling similar. I could date, but I just don’t want to, had some action last year now I just don’t want to put in the effort. I always give better than I get and I am just done with it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 08:55 PM
5

If shes staying with you just for the benefits she will fight tooth and nail to extract as much from her human atm (you) as possible. Women open to amicable divorce usually initiate the divorce conversation before we men even know whats going on.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 11:13 AM
3

I don’t understand the balls the dude has… dude you aren’t winning by having my ex wife, you are taking my sloppy seconds and acting proud about it, like do you want my old underwear too.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 02:18 PM
3

1) I wanted the divorce, but she caused it by wanting attention and validation, (she wanted to open marriage, I did too because dead bedroom, she got attention from a young man while I found some women my own age who just wanted sex, but she got even less attention from me then so got upset) 2) didn’t work at all except for 3 short lived part time jobs, mostly retail at stores she liked to shop, meanwhile she has 3 degrees. No children to take care of 3) I made her aware of finances, she didn’t …
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 01:07 PM
1

Im stuck with state calculations on support until I actually get a hearing/trial. She set her anchor at an unreasonable demand and wont budge, so to court we go
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 09:33 PM
4

If they both agree, regardless of terms it can be over pretty easy. But keep in mind just giving up 100% of assets doesn’t remove child support or alimony unless you got a lot of assets. I offered my wife an extra $100k of my retirement on top of the ~120k equity and ~275k retirement money she is already going to get from me and she refused because she wants $120k in alimony over 4 years. Separated 15 months and have to go to masters.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 12:59 PM
2

I think thats the general advice of this subreddit
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 10:58 PM
5

My separation court order said I had to reimburse her 64% of whatever medical bills she paid, she had to provide documentation. I had until the next year to pay. Talk to a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 09:16 PM
6

I am 42 and this is the only time in my adult life I was really alone (for more than a few months). Moved in with a woman when I was 19, she died when I was 28, met my wife the dame year, been separated 15 months. I have had some romantic entanglements in that time but continue to live alone. I like not having to deal with another person. I would probably feel differently if I had spent part of the past 20 some odd years alone, but I haven’t. Sure I would love to have a woman in my bed at night,…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 12:38 PM
5

Ours was a divorced woman herself and the poor woman tried to explain to my wife that divorcing wasn’t going to be the payday she thought it was. “Well it doesn’t actually work that way…”
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 01:40 AM
13

It’s fun when your wife wants to go to couples therapy and then when the therapist doesn’t take her side she doesn’t wanna go anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 09:42 PM
4

Avoid apps, people use apps when they are bored or want attention/validation.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 05:41 PM
4

Why are you asking? You don’t need their consent to divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 08:49 PM
3

Where are you looking? Try hanging out places where fit people go. Avoid the apps
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 06:03 PM
2

Asap, alimony is longer the longer you stay married.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 08:55 PM
2

No sex and no desire for intimacy is the focal point. If you were just unhappy that might be on you, but you don’t have a wife you have a co parent room mate.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 02:12 PM
1

Awesome
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 01:26 PM
1

Are you actually separated and has it been filed? Does she make more than you? You might want to get that all legally started and chat with a lawyer before changing your income. You dont want her coming after you for alimony
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 12:50 PM
8

Your first mistake was telling your ex. The sooner you stop making her privy to the details of your life the happier you will be.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 12:08 AM
4

My divorce started when you got married… I wonder which one of us will be divorced first
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 06:12 PM
1

Doesn’t matter
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 06:11 PM
2

Mediation isn’t binding, you don’t have to sign or agree to anything.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 10:43 AM
1

I tried to get a separation agreement to move out, she refused, ended up with a court order instead. She moved her boyfriend in 3 weeks later, it didn’t last long but hoping it reduces alimony when it gets to a judge, high conflict no kids.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 01:37 PM
-2

Too soon bro. But congrats on an amicable divorce, I am at 14 months since filing and no resolution in sight, probably going to trial. 11 years married at filing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 01:17 PM
1

Ralph laughs… Im in danger…“high conflict” My wife (no kids) is fighting for 4 years of alimony on top of her half of the 3/4 mil marital assets shes going to get. I have no doubt she’s going to take it to trial despite her moving her boyfriend into the house for 3 months right after I moved out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 11:19 PM
2

You left your children for 3 months?
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 10:46 AM
1

Just under 400 but there are paralegals doing work too.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 10:55 PM
1

About 10k so far. Its been just over a year since filing, opposing council has been delaying and refusing to negotiate, motions had to be filed to compel them to conciliation conference, if that fails its going to trial. Shes receiving apl, so has ever reason to delay and collect more $
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 07:01 PM
12

She probably realized she needed to land a man fast before she got even older.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 05:04 PM
2

My lawyer is so busy with other cases she barely ever responds to my emails.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 12:24 PM
2

Na, time for you to work on you, stop giving her attention and effort. Better to get divorced now and minimize the damage, damage increases with marriage duration.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 10:15 PM
6

Unless you have a prenup, any money saved during the marriage is a marital asset…. Make sure you document anything in case she tries to hide it
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 01:06 AM
4

Came here to say the same, I thought was beautiful, she realized she was a selfish person and set that man free rather than slowly destroy him over the next 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 04:11 PM
1

Is texting legally provable as adultery?
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 04:31 PM
4

Tell her if she wants to stay married she needs to start working asap, file divorce anyway. You don’t want to end up with transitional alimony because she has 0 income.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 11:32 AM
0

If she barely had any income she wouldn’t have got shit if she claimed the kids. Tax returns aren’t magic money, they are returning what you overpaid in taxes. If she did OF and only worked 2 months she probably didn’t even owe federal taxes, she would have to have earned at least $15k individually to even pay federal income tax in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:37 AM
1

Not GA but I already hit $10k, no kids just assets and it hasn’t even gone to court yet.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 05:16 PM
1

Wall art
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 01:06 PM
1

How is she not on board? Have you told her want to have some time to yourself to work on things? Kinda vague here
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 11:29 AM
1

I think you need a better lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 10:14 PM
3

Do YOU have a court order saying that? When I separated I had a court order taking money from me for spousal support, also to move out. I canceled car insurance at the direction of my lawyer as I cannot keep someone on my policy who lives at a different address. I court order specified who was financially responsible for paying the mortgage and house expenses as well as health care costs. Money in bank accounts was split as an advance for equitable distribution. It was all temporary until the di…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 08:06 PM
1

Parts of it (poly) were good, the big problems were that when I started seeing someone she got really insecure and tried to control everything. I was being told what time I had to be home, if I spent the night it could only be one night a week and she couldn’t be alone at home. At first we both had our partners spend the night, but very quickly my partner wasn’t allowed to spend the night but hers was because he didn’t want to host even though he was single. We disagreed about the strictness of …
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 12:12 PM
1

The things I am doing now are genuinely for myself. I was very depressed for a long time, wasn’t working on myself, wasn’t taking care of myself. I can afford to just eat out or get takeout for every meal, but I like cooking when I can, I even started baking, and then gave most of it away cause I don’t wanna eat all those calories lol. The things I wouldn’t be doing just for myself would be planning dates. But I am gonna need to do that even if I go out with someone else. Because I was depressed…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 07:02 PM
2

If you haven't done any legal steps yet, you are likely entitled to a portion of that money, but it depends on your local laws. You could potentially get your hands on a portion of her money with a quick court order. Edit: talk to a lawyer first of course, I am just telling you that such things exist.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 05:50 PM
2

You need to get a legally enforceable separation in place. That will depend on your local laws. In some/many states just separating your accounts doesn't change martial assets and debts.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 05:36 PM
1

My relationship with my girlfriend wasn't an affair. My wife and her were friends, or at least acted that way. They went out a few times and got mani pedi's and stuff when her and I were not even talking. She told my wife that she would never get between us, and made sure my wife was ok with us seeing each other. One of the very sure ways she put a wedge between us was when my wife wanted a a weekend together without our phones so that we could reconnect, my wife's boyfriend was totally cool wit…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 04:52 PM
1

The railing part was kinda the other way around. My wife was very satisfied with our sex life, she wanted more non sexual intimacy and quality time. The guy she is with has an even lower sex drive than her. I enjoyed when they were dating early on because she wanted sex with me constantly, it was only once I started seeing someone and she started having (edit, jealous/insecure) feelings that it slowed down. That's not to say they weren't having sex. The women I found were for sex and a little fr…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 04:01 PM
3

Maybe they mean non adult children that need taken care of
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 12:02 PM
1

PA.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 03:31 AM
2

1/3 of my hypothetical net, real bitch when I am gonna have to rebuild my retirement cause she is gonna take at least half, they don’t factor that in. Also have to pay 2/3 of whatever health insurance doesn’t cover.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 04:13 PM
6

The problem is people change. When I met her my wife was a woman living in a bad neighborhood, ate dinner at her mother’s cause she was broke, did have internet or cable at her apartment. She insisted on paying a couple dates, she was fun and adventurous while dating. Got married and she turned into a prude. Now fast forward… wanted a house… wasn’t big enough so spent $100k making it bigger… needed a new car cause I had one… had to go on a couple vacations a year, sometimes $10k a trip just for …
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 02:49 PM
1

It could, did those relocations set back your career? Did you put your career on hold? I guess what I am asking is why do you think you personally earned or deserve some of the money she makes? My wife didn’t do anything to support my career, she cleaned the house and we split other chores, now she is getting $3600 a month in spousal support and she will get roughly half the house and half my retirement, which she contributed almost nothing to, her total earnings over 11 years are probably aroun…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 05:39 AM
1

Living there is your bargaining chip, as long as she is willing to negotiate in good faith I would. As someone paying spousal support though I gotta say this bugs me. Did you make any sacrifices so that she could be the higher earner or are you just seeking it because you can?
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 08:09 PM
2

I forgave my wife for things over and over. She wanted an opened relationship… she started dating a man 16 years younger than us…. So I started seeing someone. Suddenly she wanted to stop, except we had tried this before and stopped and it apparently didn’t work cause she wanted to try again (oh and she started by joining feeld behind my back, which I forgave her for) so I told her I wasn’t going back. Went to couples therapy because she was running me through an emotional manipulation roller co…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 12:59 PM
6

I think misuse of marital assets can be used, depending on the amount of money, worth mentioning to their lawyer at least.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 12:32 PM
2

Ya they also made a big fuss about the cost of homeowners insurance, she is staying in the house for a little longer and I am out, but the insurance is paid through Aug and we plan to sell the house long before then. She has to pay the mortgage and utilities out of the money they are taking from me but I apparently still have to pay the homeowners insurance. My understanding is all of that conference is just until the divorce moves forward so they just wasted a bunch of our time talking about it…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 05:19 PM
2

In my recent support conference the lawyers fought over what percentage of my bonus my wife will get... the bonus that won't happen until December 2025.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 05:04 PM
2

Not enough information, house assets breadwinner children? Good chance she will make you miserable and broke anyway... talk to a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 04:57 PM
3

What was your circle before her and what happened to it?
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 02:23 PM
14

My stbxw wasn’t even a mother and she constantly bugged me to do more chores. I did about half the cooking and laundry, and she made basically nothing. Then she complained I wasn’t putting an effort into the relationship, specifically planning dates. I didn’t know it then, but now I know that nothing I ever did would have made her happy. Nothing was good enough. She wanted a house she got a house, a car, then another car, every vacation and jewelry she wanted, nails, hair, clothes, all the while…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 04:14 AM
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