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CranberrySoftServe Archive

View 1 post and 246 comments by CranberrySoftServe on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
16

CranberrySoftServe/r/RedPillWomen03/05/23 04:36 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
15

Why are you even telling men how many people you’ve slept with? Please tell me you aren’t volunteering this information, starting this conversation yourself, asking his number, or talking about it unprompted? How long have you been in therapy? What kind of therapy, and is your therapist actually giving you homework? Are you noticing improvement? Be careful not to fall into “subscription model” therapy where the therapist just lets you sit and talk at them for an hour every appointment, and then …
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 10:31 PM
3

“He then tried to escalate things to sex and I politely told him I’d like to wait. He then quickly said he’s going to Miami in December and asked me if I’d like to join.” Lmfao that he asked right after you rejected his advances! He couldn’t have made it more obvious that he’s inviting you to make you feel indebted to him so he can guilt you into having sex with him. Nope nope nope You’re not being picky. They both sound (I’ll take another commenters apt description) like poor options
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 10:15 PM
1

" I will continue to date around, " ....why would you do this? You already said *you* don't like *him* doing it... so you're just going to do it back to him? It sounds like you're subconsciously looking for a contingency plan if he doesn't "work out".
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/25 09:26 PM
4

"He said it’s important for us to be aligned on our faith. " (...) "I told him I had done a lot of research on the subject and I am pretty firm in my decision along with expressing how I did not like feeling as though my decision determines the future of our relationship" He states he feels misalignment on this determines the future of your relationship You state you are steadfast in your beliefs and won't be changing, and that you feel that shouldn't affect the relationship Unfortunately, reali…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/25 11:28 PM
2

Great points. Forgive me if you have already answered this: I saw that he had worked with you previously, but then pivoted to a job with benefits as you were growing the business at the time. Assuming you have benefits now, if you would need to hire labour to delegate, would he be willing to re-join the company in-lieu of having to hire externally? That way, the “lost” profit going out from hiring on another employee is at least coming back to your household (minus taxes etc). For this. It large…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/25 08:57 PM
2

On the topic of outsourcing: How much of your work are you able to delegate- not the mom work, but the business. If you’re the owner, delegation should be your middle name. Many company founders struggle to hand off responsibilities due to a feeling of duty or worry that things could go wrong if they don’t do it themselves. Delegation may offer you more time to primarily be Mom instead of Company Owner.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/25 08:36 PM
4

He did: “I stopped hanging out with male friends alone, as I knew that was a red flag for him.” (…) “This morning he erupted. He didn't sleep, doesn't want to go to work and leave me with him.” So despite her being told he didn’t want her hanging out with male friends alone, and her accepting that and saying she made changes, she still invited this male friend to stay in her home
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/25 03:13 AM
3

When you think about it remember to also think of the fact that he will want to raise your children that way as well.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/25 03:53 AM
4

If you’re at all Bible-type religious (or open to listen to a sermon), Charles Stanley has some great sermons on temptation and satanic attacks which might help!
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/25 09:56 PM
10

In terms of social media: unfollow anyone who posts about doing these things you are craving! The cravings will become fewer once they’re not in your face constantly
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/25 08:02 PM
19

It sounds like you’re bored and need more to engage you. The coworker is a huge, huge, huge red flag. The majority of affairs begin in workplaces. Combine that with you feeling like you want to let your “wild” out and the smart option here would be to immediately erect rebar-enforced boundaries with this coworker, scale back to only being just coworkers, not friends, and to greyrock him (stonewalling isn’t very appropriate in a work setting) to prevent any further escalation. What actions do you…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/25 07:57 PM
2

This is going to sound brutal but what is your base motivation to talk about this? Is it simply to apologize for your disrespect and do better, or is it an apology with a covert expectation for him to react to your apology in a way that makes you feel less hurt after you hurt him? The first could be addressed by writing a short apology letter/message, the second is a covert expectation which tends to just lead to resentment on all sides involved
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/25 08:51 PM
0

If you haven’t read it yet read Allison A. Armstrong’s Queen’s Code. Helped me immensely with this, I had a huge paradigm shift while reading it!
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/25 08:42 PM
15

BF, on the other hand, CANNOT stay with just one. He comes from a family of functional alcoholics, and when he drinks he binge drinks. His only solution is to not keep it in the house, although he occasionally indulges last minute. Maybe a few times a month. When we decide to get alcohol, it’s all gone within a day. Regardless of what kind it is or the quantity. It’s basically on me to drink what I can get, while I can get it. (...) I wouldn’t consider him an alcoholic at this stage. You just de…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/25 04:40 AM
1

Well, unfortunately you kind of screwed the pooch on that one considering your high body count. At this point, when you say no to a man you're hoping will commit to you, because you didn't do so in the past to other men, some men will think "wait, you were willing to give the men before me who didn't even commit to you this, but you still want me to do more than them and commit to you while you offer me less than what they were given?"
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/25 09:48 PM
26

LORD this is a buried lede!!! I reiterate the question of why you broke up before. Did it involve attention from outside the relationship? How long were you single between your relationship with your ex and your now-husband?
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/25 03:00 AM
3

Okay i'm gonna hit you with a bunch of questions to try and get some more details for better answers. "I’m scared this is just the first step toward controlling me." If you're thinking this, there is a reason you are thinking it. Maybe sit with yourself and think deeply about why you are in a marriage where your first thought when your husband who earns more than enough to support both of you I personally avoided applying for jobs where I would be interacting with many men regularly out of respe…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/25 02:58 AM
0

Most of the Bible, when speaking of feminine submission, speaks of it in context of a wife submitting to her husband. But there is also this, in 1 Timothy: 1 Timothy 2:11-15 ESV Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they …
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/24 12:56 AM
–

“Years of solo traveling, independence, etc has made me tough, on guard, and efficient. I’ve been biting my tongue when I feel the urge to criticize his lead of direction, food recommendations, etc.” Few questions to get some clarification/context: Has he done something to make you feel unsafe under his leadership for the trip? What was the disagreement about? Why did you not want to leave the cafe when he did? Just with the context you’ve included with this, it doesn’t really seem like there wa…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/24 06:26 PM
2

I have a feeling that actions led by beliefs like that are more common in the relationship than what is being communicated here.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 01:48 PM
8

Invisible to who?
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/24 04:51 AM
3

How you define being unfaithful and how he defines being unfaithful is likely different. If my boyfriend was “playfully texting with” someone he used to be involved with it I would probably consider it right on the line of being unfaithful. You didn’t answer how he found out. We’re you up front with him or did he discover you were talking with this person without you admitting it first? And yes, cheating in the past will definitely affect your credibility.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 09:31 PM
0

Lol @ McDonalds being an example of this? The managers here can make a six figure salary 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 10:32 PM
3

One of the worst things you can do you a man in a relationship is pressure him into giving you a "shut up" ring. Marrying after 1.5 years of dating is SOON. Like, way too soon. Honeymoon period isn't over for ~18 months, so that barely even gives you time to get to actually know each other. Average time it takes to get engaged is around 2 years, and then usually another 12 months of planning before the actual wedding. tl;dr adjust your expectations if you want to date outside your culture. If yo…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 01:20 AM
3

Do you mind if I ask how you got into the virtual assistant job? I've been in retail for 10 years, have always been told my customer service is great. But my man is starting full time blue collar work, and while I still want to help with bills, I'd like to be at home more to support our home by always having dinner ready and a tidy home. Virtual assistant sounds great, but I don't know how to get my foot in the door or what qualifications I should be gaining to put on my resume.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/24 05:04 PM
62

"and I’m DONE working tbh." It's even more work than a 9-5 to be a SAHM, for what it's worth. You will NEVER be done with work If you want to talk about it, I imagine you can ask what the number for the income threshold he has in mind is. Lastly, this should be something you both enthusiastically want to do, otherwise it will lead to resentment. So try your best not to badger about it.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/24 01:56 AM
2

Im surprised nobody has mentioned it, but The Queens Code by Allison Armstrong is an excellent read
/r/RedPillWives02/08/24 03:09 AM
3

I picked it up recently and home comforts is SUCH A GOOD READ. Every young woman should be gifted this. It’s got pretty much everything you need for running a home neatly in it.
/r/RedPillWives02/08/24 03:08 AM
5

If you have been seeing the same professionals for a while, and you aren't noticing significant progress, it's time to find some new professionals. Unfortunately, there's some out there that aren't incentivized to actually help with permanent improvement, that just want to have a patient keep coming in for regular appointments so that they keep paying. Are they giving you homework where you are actually actively working on things, or is it just talk therapy? If it's more like the latter, that's …
/r/RedPillWives31/07/24 03:08 AM
31

"he tells me is because she is fun and I’m not." The reality of this is she is NOVEL and you are the comfortable ol reliable. Many men struggle with feelings of "ooh, shiny new thing" when they are bored and in LTRs. She is a dopamine hit for him. One you are probably not able to provide, no matter what you do, because after 7-9 months of a relationship, some men can start struggling to get that dopamine from a partner since they are not a new shiny thing anymore. Many resist this temptation, an…
/r/RedPillWives30/07/24 08:28 PM
9

I personally think that some men want to be chased so badly. Men have been taught in the past couple decades that pursuing women is "creep" behavior. Society has created this, and men wanting to be pursued is the outcome. and court her properly. You've already thrown all potential of being courted "properly" out the window by using dating apps. That is not going to happen there.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 05:54 PM
2

Are there any local cooking classes you could take/is that within your budget?
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/24 09:18 PM
9

Assuming you had an episiotomy, are you seeing a doctor for the fact that the stitches are taking so long to heal? Also, there are sexual acts other than penetration that you could partake in. Have you completely abstained from any sexual contact with him since the birth?
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/24 09:16 PM
7

I think people would be well-informed to go back to looking at relationships in a transactional way. There is no such thing as unconditional love between adults. It's a nice fantasy to dream about, but it's just that, a fantasy. It isn't a real possibility. There is such thing as partnership where negotiation is used in order to come to a happy agreement, and things change over the years, so it must be regularly negotiated and takes often uncomfortable work. However, it takes two mature people, …
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 05:23 PM
6

My impression of "whatever you want" is that when you say this, you have to respect his decision. After a month I brought up euthanasia to prevent a worse outcome but said he would have to be the one to make the decision. Every two months or so I would bring it up again because I knew he wasn’t thinking about it at all. 8 months after the bite I say we NEED to make a decision since it’s getting warm out and people will be out more. To me, this sounds like you had a predetermined choice you wante…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/24 11:09 PM
5

Honestly it's still disrespectful to her relationship to even be talking with this guy as a friend. He obviously like her, they almost hooked up in the past. He clearly wanted sex. Put the "friendship" out to pasture
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/24 01:16 AM
17

I’m personally okay with a dynamic like that, because I trust that he will make good decisions for us. I actually like the calmness that comes with the dynamic, because I do not have to stress about making decisions, over worrying, or fixing issues constantly. Have you read Alison Armstrong’s The Queen’s Code? I would recommend reading and digesting that before booking therapy, since he may view you booking therapy as you respecting the therapist’s opinions more than his, and it might add to his…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/24 12:51 PM
2

It feels like he doesn’t want to call me as much, You just spent an entire weekend together in person for the first time. Maybe he's tired and just needs time to relax after travelling? A least you've noticed you're being clingy. Noticing is the first step. Next step is to addressing that. What individual hobbies do you have, OP? Take some time and invest yourself in those the next few days. Give him breathing space. Your behavior is going to push him away otherwise My immediate reaction to this…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/24 06:15 PM
3

A few questions: Are you married to this man? Why are you travelling with your two other children, but leaving him and your baby at home? It seems to imply that there are two separate family units, instead of one integrated family. Something to note: Threatening the relationship is a huge way to break trust. Even just one time causes a massive breach in trust. The more you do it, the more the end of the relationship becomes inevitable. If you are willing to admit that some of your behaviour may …
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/24 03:53 PM
0

I would argue that she is disrespecting him by continuing to spend *any* time around these men after they have made such remarks.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/24 05:12 PM
0

Why are you continuing to spend time around these men when they are so disrespectful towards both you and your relationship? You have the power and responsibility to stop this. Stop being around them at all if you want these interactions to stop.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/24 05:06 PM
12

Why not just let him be the one to drive when you are driving somewhere together? Avoids the problem completely and you get to relax and be the passenger.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/24 03:44 PM
20

"He just wants L and I to get along." But he won't let you go to his girl best friend's 2 night sleepover birthday party? Like Teammeli said, girl... come on. It's been 3 months. You're still in the vetting stage. The fact that he is unwilling to take your feelings into account regarding him doing something that is very reasonable to feel uncomfortable about is... not good. He is showing you that your reasonable feelings will likely not be taken into account regarding decisions for your future h…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/24 03:53 PM
2

Just be there for her as a friend as you always have, don't micromanage or offer advice where it is not asked for, but if she comes to you for advice, help her with what she asks about. I'm a bit confused. It sounds like she is coming out of the "independent woman" fog that many of us have been fed over the past few decades, that she is actually improving, and moving towards having ideals closer to yours. Maybe she's been inspired by you over the years, and now that she's finally found a more tr…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 05:48 PM
3

Good to hear you’re working and going to the gym, that will take up a good amount of time, keep doing that, but also, hobbies! What hobbies do you have that you participate in without him? I agree with liminaljerk— learning how to be grounded and explore your inner self and learn your needs is imperitive. Meditation is excellent. Here is a video from an excellent channel that helped me learn how to meditate: https://youtu.be/5GSeWdjyr1c?si=ng0RPkWLg8b_IjbP When you feel that anxiety feeling of u…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/24 04:28 PM
5

You’re getting downvoted but if these types of reactions are a regular thing, it absolutely could negatively affect her relationship over time. She should be told that, in case she doesn’t realize the ramifications, so that she has a chance to fix it before resentment sets in on her bf’s end
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 12:57 PM
4

I was gonna bring this up- my boyfriend has mentioned my wet hair when I shower right before bed and then try to cuddle with him. OP has your boyfriend verbatim told you he doesn’t like the wet hair because of the colour change?
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 12:51 PM
2

What is he adding to your life? He treats you badly, he cheats on you, he breaks up with you over and over. He has shown he is unwilling to do more for you. What would you tell a friend if she came to you asking for advice about a bf who was treating her Ike this. And what is it that you are going back to get? Maybe figuring that out that need will help you pinpoint what to work on with yourself, and help you avoid finding yourself with a similar man in the future.
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/24 10:45 PM
3

OP how much reading have you done on drawing boundaries and saying no? People who can't accept hearing "no" when your plate is already full (or nearing full) are not friends. They are users. If you grew up seeing your Mom doing this, you likely don't know what healthy boundaries look like. Read about "people pleasing". You need to take care of yourself first before you can share from your abundance. That abundance is not limitness, so you need to learn how to keep some in reserve for yourself. T…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/24 06:30 PM
28

It’s “would you still love me if I was a worm” territory lmfao
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 03:29 PM
6

Agree 33m sounds like a MUCH better match. Also a few red flags for 30m: incompatibility regarding children incompatibility regarding your culture and values “he values independence while I value partnership” this is a massive incompatibility that will likely leave you hurting and lonely down the road his refusal to stop porn use is a concern. Is it a thing because of long distance? As in, is he willing to stop once you two are physically together? Also “suck it up”??? HUH? Massive sign of disre…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 03:20 PM
1

Okay. Just a bit confusing because you titled the thread “my brother doesn’t like my boyfriend”
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/24 01:44 PM
2

Okay, good to rule that out! Hopefully someone who has more experience with not med-related weight gain and subsequent loss can chime in
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 11:44 PM
1

Does your brother not like your boyfriend, or your boyfriend not like your brother?
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 11:35 PM
5

Are you in any medications? A medication is what made me gain the majority of weight when I weighed more. It didn’t go away until I was off the medication.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/24 11:33 PM
15

It feels like many men are just different about this. My guy and I have been together for just over a year and I very rarely hear it. He does however demonstrate it in many ways, often. Very true that pushing it just makes things backfire. Why do you think it’s so important to you, OP? I’ve been in relationships before where I’d hear it from the guy I was dating daily, only to turn around and have them cheat on me or scream and throw things at me. I’ve come to realise that words don’t mean a per…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/24 08:11 PM
19

It’s not. It speaks to your character and morals. You say in your post you were raised with a Christian upbringing, but you’re okay with being a mistress? Why mention your Christian upbringing if your current actions and beliefs do not align with that?
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/24 04:24 PM
12

Oh yeah. Interactive is definitely bordering on cheating for me. Would not like that one bit
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/24 11:13 PM
8

I don’t think occasional use would be a full dealbreaker for me, it just makes me uncomfortable, especially when the use of it isn’t discussed straight up and it just goes on in the background. It reminds me of sneaking around. Leaves me feeling like I missed an opportunity for connection and bonding that may have happened if the porn wasn’t used as a substitute for sexual release.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/24 11:11 PM
15

The event that happened surrounding this is sad, but you found a way to focus on gratitude and feeling blessed. I admire that! I’ve been learning more how to be my boyfriend’s soft landing place during times of stress, how to show him he can be like that with me when needed, that I won’t turn on him if he needs support or needs to be vulnerable. Been trying to bring more light and happiness into the home, how to worry less (because inevitably, my worries show and affect him). Life has become muc…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/24 02:06 PM
21

Omg talk about a buried lede. The base issue is not the sex life. It’s the hiding going to strip clubs. How did you find that out, did he tell you?
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/24 09:24 PM
17

"I have handled every feeding session and night waking ( many times every night ) his whole life." Is it possible you can pump (and store in fridge) and have him do some of the nightly feedings instead of it all falling on you? As a way of "finding a way to be nicer"? It doesn't handle the weaning issue but maybe it would help assuage some of the resentment you are feeling?
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/24 07:32 PM
7

Men will shit on women for monkeybranching and then do the exact same shit and defend it 🙄 If you're going to cheat, fucking leave first instead
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/24 12:01 AM
2

I'm personally not a fan of couples therapy because most of the time, if the man wants to do the work to restore trust, he's gonna do it without having to have a third party tell him to do it. I find many traditional men have the same reaction to the idea of therapy (both individual and couples) as your man did. Also, regardless of gender, like Jenneapolis said, if a person does not actively want to do therapy and is forced or coerced into it, it doesn't help. It often just leads to resentment.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 05:54 PM
8

I apologize if this seems callous, but you come across as ungrateful in this post. Your boyfriend is thoughtful enough that he's getting you flowers for your birthday, anniversary, valentines, and he is buying you jewelry. I can understand maybe complaining about a jewelry gift if you're allergic to a metal he buys- that's a valid reason to ask for something different. Complaining about a gift of jewelry because you didn't like the shape of it? That's more likely to push him away and start think…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 07:36 PM
2

Was he able to orgasm from sex before?
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 06:48 PM
–

Few questions: You didn't answer the other person asking, does he continue to hit you/get aggressively physical? nvm I see you edited your above response with an answer to this You say "I said it causes me to want to seek emotional fulfillment from other people." Are you actively working on addressing this so that you are seeking less emotional fulfillment from others and instead able to fulfill yourself? If so, what are you doing? What are you doing during the daily anxiety/panic attacks- are y…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 03:00 PM
1

Personally I feel that just because one person is lying doesn’t mean you should muddy your own self/integrity by lying in turn.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 04:59 PM
0

1) It implies to the person that you don’t trust them to the point where you feel the need to be manipulative to “get the truth” from them 2) Because it’s game-playing instead of being up front and direct
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 04:55 PM
7

OP do you live with your mother? If so, move out, even if you need to find a roommate. Either way, stop sharing these opinions with her completely. In what manner are you expressing these beliefs? Are you speaking calmly when you speak about them?
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 09:15 PM
-1

It feels like the chance to be direct and honest has passed, since she basically shit-tested him by asking him if he did anything (when she already knew and should have been direct about it).
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 08:02 PM
3

I can see why you are so frustrated. I would be tearing my hair out. No further constructive advice to give because I'd consider myself to be living the dream if I made even a third of that.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 02:50 AM
10

I'm shocked nobody has mentioned this: Top 5% of earners is $335,891/yr. Many people would consider that "winning the lottery" levels of money. What exactly is his line for "financially stable"?
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 02:40 AM
8

Let me rephrase then. A test that one partner runs on another partner is manipulation. A trusting partner does not treat their significant other like a lab rat.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 11:41 PM
12

A "test" is manipulation.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 10:46 PM
1

Well, what did he lie to you about? He said he "doesn't really" watch it, not "never". Did he say that while he was deployed? Maybe he hated using it, but was feeling sexual frustration because he was deployed and not nearby you? I can understand someone who is faithful needing a sexual outlet when they are deployed, even if they aren't very happy about the outlet.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 09:34 PM
3

I’m with you on mass dating, I despise both women and men who do so and feel it contributes to “looseness” in society. If I like someone enough to be going on dates with them, I feel they’re the only person I should be going on dates with. I agree that it feels like cheating. How old are you? I feel like I’d understand more if someone young is doing this due to inexperience and emotional immaturity. If this man is 25+ it’s a bigger red flag. I’d ask to meet in person. If he doesn’t want to, I’d …
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 07:34 PM
1

I feel like there’s so much left unsaid, and so many questions I still have. What questions?
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 07:17 PM
7

Should I just leave? Leave what?
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 07:00 PM
1

I’m similar in that I love the decor and gifts that come out around this time of year. I work at a gift-oriented store, so I get exposed to all of it and get tempted, but so much of it is out of my price range, even with a discount. Also, my bf isn’t really a fan of Valentine’s Day/the expectations often levied by women during it (I agree that women can often have too high expectations around the day, it should be about the couple, not only half of the couple IMO). I floated the idea of going so…
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/24 04:06 AM
2

I have a tiny post-it note stuck to my computer monitor to remind myself to STFU and not complain, I find it helps a lot and helps me catch myself! I lived with my Mom growing up and felt like her main form of communication was complaining/griping, even when she was addressing an issue (very "I never get any breaks in life"), so I'm finding it a very difficult habit to break. Waking up to this has also made me realise that it's where I get my propensity to focus on the negative from, which has m…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/24 09:38 PM
5

With regards to journaling, I find that journaling in general doesn't really help me with this, and I usually just end up complaining to the journal (maybe a continuation of my childhood journaling habits, lol). Have you tried gratitude journaling though? I find that's very helpful. If you force yourself to sit down and write at least 5 things (even try 10!) you are grateful for when you find yourself with the urge to complain, it can help to alleviate some of the worry and help with feeling hap…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/24 09:33 PM
14

I think you're creating a problem for yourself here. Were they hurt that you chose them over dating Brad Pitt, even though you wouldn't have been able to "get" him? I'm sure there's more of a "dreamgirl" for my boyfriend out there, which makes me even happier that every day, he chooses instead to stay with me instead of seeking that out. There's always going to be a bigger fish than you. It will hurt you to continue focusing on that instead of the present and being happy with what you have.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/24 05:36 PM
5

eventually had to choose me because they couldn't get their dreamgirl/higher value woman. Reframing helps. They still chose you over those women. That's the part that matters.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/24 05:27 PM
4

"but then he said it may be a little odd to hang out together as they don’t hang out after work." Uh, what makes them friends then, instead of just colleagues that get along?
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/24 03:14 PM
1

Have you considered looking for a different therapist? 4 years is a long time to be making slow progress.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 08:28 PM
3

Looking for hard truth Normally I would agree, but she directly asked for this sort of advice.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 08:27 PM
3

“Basically I do not take responsibility for my life whatsoever and chose instead to blame everyone else for my problems, which makes them 10x worse.” You are no longer a child, you are well past that. It’s time to start taking responsibility if you want anything to improve. Are you seeing a therapist?
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/24 07:13 PM
10

I think you already know the hard truth. You outlined the things you need to improve on: Cooking, cleaning, self care, fixing mental health issues, you've identified that certain behaviours are bad, you've identified that you are not taking responsibility for your life and are blaming others. What are you actively doing to address any of this? Are you in therapy? I don't think you need suggestions from us, it sounds more like you're seeking validation. You've already identified the issues and ca…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/24 09:37 PM
1

This is exactly why I mention that. I game a fair amount and I've had that same experience. I prefer to just not use voice chat and don't correct people in games anymore if they call me sir. Had too many people try to start long conversations and get too personal
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 02:01 AM
1

I'm a woman. 🤦‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/24 01:59 AM
-3

I am fully om board with (...) not posting on social media OP says they're fully on board with this, so if she is, why is that a concern? Social media is brainrot, it's a net positive to move away from it.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 10:07 PM
0

Fair, I simply felt jumping right to religious extremist was a bit much.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 10:05 PM
-3

I quite frankly don’t enjoy micro managing my life to avoid being attractive? Who are you trying to be attractive to? If it's people other than your bf, I can see why he might feel insecure.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 10:01 PM
-4

It could be less about the hair and more about it being a sign that OP is a woman/"target" for other men.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 10:00 PM
1

Have you always had the weight, is it potentially a med side effect? I was on a medication once that caused me to gain 40lbs over my natural weight, it's gone now that i'm off the med. I see your post about having issues counting calories and going over, are you also counting your output? The other comment about intermittent fasting is a good point. It has shown great results for many people. Makeup doesn't matter to all men, some men truly prefer the "natural" look, or at most, a bit of mascara…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/24 01:34 AM
8

Responding to your points: Have you directly told him that you find it offputting, in those words? What does he say in response? Does he take it in stride and listen or say you’re being mean again Why are you jokingly insulting him? This isn’t a very feminine thing to do. Is this a sign of resentment maybe? When you use words like “hate” to describe something a partner does, it’s already well past the point of developing resentment, you’re already resenting. If you’re not being hyperbolic and yo…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 02:13 PM
25

Resentment has already built by the way she has written this post.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 02:07 PM
1

If your therapy was actually effective you wouldn’t be considering taking him back because you would have self respect. You say you want to be happily married and have a family. Imagine him treating your children in similar ways. That would be your future with this man. You have to stop responding completely. It’s good he stopped reaching out but don’t count on that lasting. Block his number, his email, EVERYTHING. Give him NO way to reach you. And if he finds a way, do not engage with him in AN…
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/23 03:13 PM
1

“He has agreed to take on all household bills if he does move in and to add me to his car/health insurance.” If you talked about this and he agreed, why doesn’t this count as showing a desire to provide for you?
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/23 05:14 AM
1

We both take antidepressants and ever since I started taking them (1,5 years ago), my libido is basically non-existent. Before that, my libido was extremely high and I was very interested in sex. Okay, so you've identified the cause. What can I do to get more in the mood? I'm not a doctor, but if you've identified the med as the cause, then probably address what is causing you to feel depressed so you are no longer depressed and can go off the medication that is nuking your libido. You're right …
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 02:44 AM
25

"Now men don’t have to assume that position, especially since women are stepping up to the plate. " Do we have a choice? Look at the cost of living. The entire system is fucking with the ability to embrace traditional roles, even if we desperately want to embrace them.
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/23 06:49 PM
9

"Our men are becoming effeminate. Stumbled onto a men's sub where men were complaining there's a growing trend of masculine women. Excuse me, but how can a woman be soft and feminine if she has to constantly rely on herself financially? She can't. She has to put on her big girl pants, go to work and pay her bills while Mr. FAKE ALPHA wants to take her out for a coffee date." I love how RP men's forums want to talk about how body count hurts women long term, but don't seem to want to acknowledge …
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/23 06:48 PM
13

But have you asked him if you'd be able to get time off together and travel together instead? Not just generally stating "I want to travel together", but saying "hey, i'd like to plan a trip together, when would be a good few days where you would be able to take a few days off"?
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/23 04:59 PM
40

"take myself to a nice restaurant alone and maybe also explore the city alone and journal." What is stopping you from doing this in the place you currently are in, and on a time that isn't Valentine's day? Why did you not ask him to travel with you in this instance, or if you did, what did he say?
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/23 03:10 PM
139

You want to travel alone during valentine’s day and you’re wondering why he has an issue with that? 🤔
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/23 12:06 PM
70

Well, first off, what do you feel you bring to the table that might convince a man to pay for everything? What is he getting out of the deal? Secondly, your post history seems to show a history of complaining. Many men will not want to provide for a woman who frequently complains, as it drags them down. They want a woman who will offer peace, not make things more difficult for them. So practicing gratitude will help with this. Do you keep a daily gratitude journal? You will also struggle finding…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 06:25 PM
1

She's looking for a female role model because she's a female, what's so bad about that? Why try and force the role model to be your husband?
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 06:13 PM
3

Look at the edit/update, seems you were right on the money
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 10:52 PM
33

You're literally on the internet talking to a bunch of strangers about your relationship, but angry about not knowing who your bf is talking to about your relationship? 🤦‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 10:23 PM
5

If you aren't seeing progress it's time to look for a new therapist. Don't feel bad about that. Some aren't as well-equipped as others, and you shouldn't keep paying someone who isn't helping you and hoping that one day it will help.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 05:05 PM
3

Taquitos!! Nachoes, 3 layer dip, have ice-cold beers cold and on hand (if you can figure out what they enjoy drinking that's a plus). Definitely allow them their space (even if y'all are friend, it's a dudes night so try not to intrude too much), but be in reach if they need anything.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 04:38 PM
47

Oh god, the post history is a buried lede with all the answers. OP, a word of advice: spite is one of the ugliest, most repulsive traits a woman can show, and your past actions have shown it (for example: suggesting in a comment that you would stop shaving just because your bf shaved his beard and you didn't like it, telling your affair partner's wife about the affair because he left you after you got pregnant). Men, especially HVM, want peace. You do not seem like a person who offers peace.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/23 03:56 PM
4

Do you work/are you able to afford your own things if you want to buy them? Are you worried that, should he be in control of the money (as is traditional), you won't be able to buy things if he doesn't approve?
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/23 06:02 PM
9

Are you wanting him to be more generous? What do you consider to be generosity?
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/23 06:00 PM
9

Ah. Well, that is entirely outside my wheelhouse and I can’t personally offer any meaningful advice from that sort of perspective, sorry. Best of luck
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 08:44 PM
10

How active is your sex life? Is it possible that he’s not getting as much as he wants, and is trying to tell you he has other women who desire him, in an (albeit shitty) effort to try and get you to have more sex?
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 04:21 PM
5

If this was the case, wouldn’t they be offering to refill the glass then, not expecting him to get it?
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 10:08 PM
4

What is the point of this post 🤔 It reads like satire, but a lot of those are actual stressors for dudes (that they often take on so we don’t have to think about them), and it’s true that we shouldn’t add to the list, we should give them a soft place to land instead.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/23 06:00 PM
4

Okay. Couple things. 1) not only is he not providing in all the ways you mention here, but I see you’ve been posting in deadbedrooms- so this guy isn’t even providing sexually? 2) I noticed in a comment you left there that you said you separated earlier this year and you gave him another chance, but you didn’t mention that here. That would have been relevant. With all that in mind, and things other commenters have mentioned, I think it’s time to call it quits completely.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 05:00 PM
3

The brutal reality of life is that it's easy to make excuses and end up sad, isolated, and in the same life you've been living for years. It's hard and takes effort to make changes and put the constant work in towards bettering your life. I can relate to public transit sucking. Scrounge all the time you can for practicing for your license, make a game plan and a schedule for practicing and stick to it, it's so worth it for the freedom of having a license. You can do this!
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 02:14 PM
2

“ He also does know not that I have been fooling around with other men this past summer & fall (though technically he never did ask me out or say we were exclusive but he is under the impression that I talk only to him).” Jesus Christ. First step is admitting you’ve been cheating on him. If you can even admit that to yourself. Right now you’re just using him 😒
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/23 03:27 PM
2

Do you not have a public transit system where you live that you could use to get to events or a place to volunteer?
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/23 03:22 PM
3

So you have a really desireable boyfriend who turned a lot of people down and ended up choosing YOU. Focus on that last part.
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/23 03:14 PM
7

I wonder if he is indirectly communicating that he is beginning to lose attraction in some way, and trying to rekindle that by asking you to change your style to something he would like more. Also, I say this with kindness, if your username is relevant to how you look, you might want to consider that in this equation as well.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/23 01:18 PM
1

The only actually concerning thing i'm seeing here with his behaviour is that he's not taking a rest day. He won't see as much gains-wise if he isn't allowing his body to recuperate with at least one rest day (read this link for more info on recovery/rest). His behaviour here isn't unhealthy, it's anything but, and please don't cry about your current cooking not fitting his requirements, just take it as guidance and adjust your cooking to help him reach his goals! It will likely also be healthie…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 04:42 PM
5

What are you doing to address it, and how is the progress?
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 12:15 PM
16

“ I just stress about literally everything.” This will sound harsh but is important. This anxiety about everything is going to be incredibly detrimental to your future child unless you fix it. Both during fetal development and then while raising the child. It likely will end up with your child having lifelong anxiety that they will then have to fix. You really should address it fully first.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 02:26 AM
16

“I refuse to waste my energy and time on that.” Why? You said in this very post that you “don't see marriage as a goal in itself but if I meet the right person then I'd love to get married”. Are you sure that’s actually how you feel deep down, if you are made uncomfortable by the idea of the person you’re with eventually marrying someone else?
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 05:44 PM
3

Hey, this is a great start. Just noticing a bias is always the first step to correcting it. When you find yourself thinking biased thoughts, first, congratulate yourself for catching it. Then, challenge that belief! Ask yourself where that thought may have come from, explore it deeper. Try and think of an opposite example of the bias you are recognizing. Somatic experiencing helps. When you start to feel unsafe because of trauma, ground yourself. Ask "am I in immediate danger, or am I having a b…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 06:10 PM
3

My mom is similar. Very “I don’t need a man in my life” and she raised me that way. I feel it definitely put me at a disadvantage for trad relationships, as I’ve had to do a lot of learning on how not to constantly try and control. My parents were married for less than 5 years and I can see why. Look I the book “will I ever be good enough” by karyl mcbride. Also look into somatic therapy if you have the funds, it helped me way more than traditional therapy ever did.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 04:17 AM
5

Wait. OP, is this the same guy you posted about “just meeting” in February? You’re already married?
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 04:07 AM
6

Sure, but you don't need a masters that will cost tens of thousands of dollars in order to get a better career and move out.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/23 06:52 PM
9

To be fair, many men also don't care about the career you have, either, since it will lead to competition between career and the family.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/23 06:42 PM
12

>They just want sex but none want to commitment due to my lack of schooling or attractiveness. Are you SURE that it's because of a lack of schooling or attractiveness? Could it not be the fact that you're living at home? Or that having gone to post secondary usually implies to many men that you rode the carousel while you were there? If you're already in your early 30s and choose to take the time to go back to school, you'll be nearly 40 once you're back on the dating market. Do you want to have…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/23 06:40 PM
42

“We spent the afternoon together. We came home, relaxed on the couch. He put something on the TV and was on his phone for two hours, not making conversation. I stayed there just to be near him. Finally I got tired of waiting for him to engage with me so I got up and left to another room. He tried making conversation at that point but I was over it.” This sounds like a covert contract. It’s not like he was sitting there ignoring you all day- you spent an afternoon together. Maybe he was socially …
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 10:57 AM
6

Something I think a lot of my fellow women don’t realise is many muscular men only look “toned” when they’re posing (or during a cut which is very effort intensive). This short shows exactly what I mean: https://youtube.com/shorts/kEUXFriWHs0?si=MkG9xsL9TylUyNwj
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/23 01:33 PM
2

There's lots of things that can affect the cycle. I've gone 5 months without a period before, while completely abstinent. Things like stress, vaccination, heavy exercise, and low weight can also affect the cycle. If you haven't had sexual activity in a long time, you don't have to be worried about being pregnant. How old are you?
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 04:27 PM
1

If you’re presenting yourself that conservatively, you’re right, it’s probably not him worrying about that. That’s moreso about women who get totally done up every single day. I get ready for work in about 25 minutes (shower the night before), so I can maybe relate with him thinking about the inefficiency. If I had to style my hair every morning it would be a different story and I would probably take closer to what you do.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/23 01:18 AM
-2

An hour seems like a long time to get ready, even with distractions. May I ask if your husband wants you to look the same way, but take less time, or is it just about the time spent? I wonder if maybe this is a way of indirectly saying that he wants you to be less “done up” every day. Many men don’t want their wives to wear a lot of makeup, for example, and it can sometimes concern men when their wives “dress up” for work, since it can come off as peacocking/trying to impress people at work with…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 08:14 PM
5

we don’t need to give them a ring to promise to marry them, they are aware that’s what we want. Furthermore... that's usually called an engagement ring 😅
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/23 04:57 PM
16

She says above there was no prenup 😳
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 11:05 AM
14

“I usually wait for him to be calm.” Ehhh I wonder about this. Could it be that you’re taking the only “peaceful” and calm time he has and vaporizing it by making it “discuss serious thing” time?
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 11:55 PM
-20

Well I’d start off by not calling your husband’s actions stupid, for one 🤦‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 11:52 PM
1

"use his money to pay for a maid." Definitely make sure to ask his permission before doing this, it is still his own space
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 06:53 PM
1

I say this in the kindest way possible, I think you need to consider adjusting your expectations. A six figure income is not the norm, and definitely not middle class (middle class in America for a single income is $30,000 - $90,000/yr in the USA). Also, if he doesn't want to go into tech and refuses to touch it, I would respect that by writing it off completely and never bringing it up again. Money is not worth daily awful dread going into work, which may be what going into tech would cause him…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 09:45 PM
0

OP is already married, so that is irrelevant in this thread.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 09:34 PM
0

This is the “for better, for worse” part of marriage vows though. One must work through it to stay true to the marriage. If you can’t come back from that, don’t make those vows 🤷‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 06:38 PM
1

The quiet “ouch” works wonders. It immediately says you are not looking to fight or “debate” (read: that’s still fighting/trying to domineer him), and points out that he has hurt you without having to use a ton of words and essentially shove his nose in what he has done. One important thing I’ve found is to not expect men to respond to proselytizing (usually it will cause men to get angrier), or to expect an apology. They apologize through their actions and through not repeating the ones that hu…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 06:35 PM
1

IMO men are NOT looking for you to try and defend yourself when they are lashing out and it is detrimental more often than not. They do not think and act like we do. When the man brain is angry, it is not ready to reason. You have to let him cool off first, and make sure you add nothing to the fire.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 06:31 PM
3

Being the breadwinner as a traditional woman is a difficult situation. I think a question breadwinner women who are in serious relationships should ask themselves is if they are truly fully surrendered to their men. Many women would say initially say yes, but would those same women say yes to having him take the paycheque and make decisions on what is done with it? If the answer isn’t an immediate yes, are you still truly a traditional woman, and not just trying to assume his role because he isn…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 06:29 PM
1

What do you consider “aiming low” in terms of salary?
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 06:25 PM
5

I don’t have children but I’m so happy this exists! I miss how media was when I was growing up. It felt neutral in a way that it doesn’t now. A lot of stuff is being shoved down throats now and it’s good to have things that kids can watch that are not sexualized or drowning in ideology.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 06:22 PM
1

You absolutely should not keep it to yourself, it would devastate the trust of the person you might end up with that you would keep something this major a secret. The truth will always come out.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 04:49 PM
7

Not the person who experienced that, but how exactly is he supposed to be the captain of a relationship if he isn’t even the captain of his own life?
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 10:49 PM
5

27 days ago you said your boyfriend broke up with you a week ago, now you are saying you’ve been dating this man for two months. Is this the same dude and you got back together with him? Did you monkeybranch with the old guy? Wth? You need to work on your self esteem, best to learn how to internally validate yourself and stop asking for help online constantly
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 07:38 PM
7

Keeping his word, integrity (though what that means can vary from person to person).
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 06:21 PM
1

Gemstones are nice too! Gorgeous option is white sapphire
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 10:14 PM
1

Right, regarding what your ex may try and say, that’s why I’m bringing it up (I thought that was why you were posting in the first place). Everything in western family law is on the side of the mother, so barring any buried ledes, you should be fine, it will just take time and money. He will likely try to goad you into reacting negatively, which will not put you in a good light in family courts, so, as hard as the situation is, try and keep a level head about it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/23 09:43 PM
1

Well, if you want a possible reason, the way you’re writing about this is quite emotionally charged, so I do wonder if sometimes you might have a tendency to catastrophize things instead of just dealing with things as they come along and not allowing yourself to be swept up. I hope you’re not passing that along to your child, and I wonder if you have any issues with enmeshment and hope you are maintaining healthy adult/child boundaries between your daughter and yourself. I also hope you have ret…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/23 04:26 PM
29

Why are you accepting being together for 10 years, engaged for two (have you even begun planning a wedding?), and he is repeatedly asking to sleep with other people? What makes this man a high value man?
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 05:15 PM
18

OP would be smart to not talk about ongoing legal proceedings on an online public forum, and it’s not like we can really give relevant advice without knowing that information, we can only grasp at straws.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 02:11 PM
1

Do HVM actually prefer permanent makeup though? It’s basically a tattoo, and typically HVM prefer un-tattooed women.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/23 05:02 PM
9

Social media use, I’ve mostly cut down on it but alas here I am for the last little bit. I complain a lot and need to learn to STFU better. I’ve improved a lot but there is still room to improve. I have a small post it near my computer to remind me and it helps. Working too hard and thinking I’m not doing enough (while in reality the people around me tell me i’m doing more than enough and to take it easier on myself). This is an issue from my childhood and how I was raised and one I find myself …
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/23 04:24 PM
48

Your entire post describes a woman who does not deserve to “win” this guy back. You adknowledge that you have been “going out” for two months, and have even taken a trip together, so there is obviously some sort of relationship happening. You didn’t like the answer you got so you shit tested him by being cold, ignoring him, and essentially emotionally cheating by going to other men on Bumble for attention. Your hamster is running overtime in this post trying to justify your behaviour even though…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/23 04:58 PM
3

Well it’s not easy to stop hating men if you continuously have disappointing experiences. That’s something you can’t control though. Maybe I'm misinterpreting what you're saying here, but if you're saying women have no control over if an experience with a man will be disappointing, this is just wrong. It's definitely something you can have control over, implying otherwise removes too much personal accountability. After a while you have to realise that if the men you keep picking always end up di…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 11:27 PM
26

I think you might want to reevaluate bringing your trauma up so early. Even if it does colour your interactions with others, that’s your trauma to deal with and address, not theirs. I would imagine coming to him with that and asking him to change his ways at all, after only a few dates, probably made you seem needy and was likely a big factor in him deciding the relationship wouldn’t work. I say this as someone with heavy trauma from both childhood and adult experiences. I have made the mistake …
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 01:17 PM
0

Nooooooo no no god no 🤣 Instead, tell her to read up on Laura Doyle, couples therapy is awful advice
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 12:13 PM
3

“ I was wondering how I could handle such situations with a gentle solution if something similar happens in my next relationship?” He wasn’t being fair making you get the water like that, but I don’t think the solution wouldn’t only be 50/50 carrying. At the risk of being snarky, why did you never just use a utility cart to move the water? Regarding the snarky remark, that sounds like a hallmark of resentment bubbling up
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 07:15 PM
5

Most guys will consider lip filler to be “plastic surgery”, for what it’s worth. Hell, I’d hazard to say most people who don’t get cosmetic enhancement would consider it plastic surgery. It will definitely add to this “standoffish” look if you’ve had the standard lip filler look done
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/23 01:10 PM
6

How often do your female friends “take you to restaurants”, after asking you “jokingly” to mix your faces to make a fake baby, and then joke about telling your friends you had a baby together? I’m gonna hazard a guess of zero
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 09:26 PM
2

“How do you let your partner know that you know they cheated” Beyond packing your bags? If you’re actually willing to stay after that, sitting down and talking about it, getting it out in the open would probably be the best course of action, unless you’re willing to not talk about it at all and then eventually he may end up cheating again. Without talking about it with brutal honesty on both sides, how is progress and change (so it doesn’t happen again) supposed to happen?
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 03:16 PM
1

maaan that security is the true dream 🥰
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 06:53 PM
4

Flirting with someone else when you are in a monogamous relationship is 110% cheating UNLESS your partner has previously given you the okay. It's directing sexual energy outside the relationship and incredibly disrespectful to your partner
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 06:45 PM
2

I think it’s healthy that you’re looking at it through his perspective as well and then vying to meet in the middle with understanding. Some good growth happens when both people are willing to do that
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/23 05:32 PM
1

Having come from a similar environment growing up, where I would be nagged constantly for everything I forgot, it can feel intimidating being around somehow who does not hold spiteful feelings for people when they forget something like that. That's because if I forgot to do something as a kid, my mom would come home and *rage* clean it. Not clean it normally and remind me later, but slam cupboards, stomp around, huff and puff, and then be angry/resentful for a while afterwards. So I have deep me…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/23 01:30 PM
-1

It feels like there are some Feminist delusions that leak into the comments here that just coddle posters. Sometimes just because a reality is harsh doesn’t change the fact that it’s reality.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/23 12:20 PM
3

a Female Delusion Calculator, but for Christians. I'm not sure why I found the concept of this so hilarious, but it laid me out. So many women who do that calculation are humbled by how low their chances are, and it's only 4 factors- imagine throwing RELIGION in there too? 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/23 05:17 PM
2

There's someone of a similar age but a man standing right next to her- that's really doing me in. She's talking about how she has regrets and feels she settled down "too early"; i'm just sitting here hoping that's not the poor guy she settled down with all those years ago standing to her left having to listen to her saying those things 😥
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/23 04:59 PM
5

Well, you can't erase the past, but the biggest thing you can probably do is stop sleeping around in the present. For some of your other questions, Check out this post, if you haven't already: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/13famda/we_found_where_we_stashed_the_checklist_getting/ and these threads, there will be more in them than I can summarize:https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/search/?q=pair%20bonding&restrict_sr=1 You can't shame yourself too heavily for your past, or you'…
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/23 05:06 PM
9

Ideally a lot of lessons about relationships will be modelled to them by default, and the best you can do for your kids is to raise them in a healthy and functioning family unit. After all, you can theoretically teach kids lots of things, but if it's coming down to "do as I say, not as I do"... they're usually just going to actually end up doing what you do, not what you say.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/23 04:59 PM
0

Many high value men will hard pass on you (sometimes without you even knowing that's the reason, they might not share) because of sleeping around. It also hurts your ability to bond with future partners, and means you come with baggage that a woman who didn't choose to do that is less likely to have. There's lots of good posts about this in the sub.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/23 04:56 PM
2

So far he has been saying some promising things like letting me know he wants me to meet his daughter, asking if can sublet my apartment (I have a two year lease) and where in the city would I want to live, along with my thought on a house he plans to buy to be closer to his daughter when she starts school. Sorry, wait, what? He's saying all this after TWO WEEKS? Pump the brakes and check in with yourself to make sure there's not other examples of potential love-bombing going on here. I understa…
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/23 06:31 PM
1

These days it roughly means no living together (or coming over twice a week to do his laundry) prior to a wedding date being set. This is starting to feel very difficult in this day and age with the cost of living 😖 Also, some people can put on one heckuva show on and for those people, that show often doesn't let up until you're around them a *lot*/the honeymoon period is over. I'd be hesitant to even agree to plan to anchor my boat to anyone who I haven't lived with for a while because of that.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/23 06:25 PM
1

I never understood this because if you don't do "wife actions" before marriage, how is he supposed to know what he has to look forward to? Isn't it basically a "preview" of what he would have in the future? Like, are dudes just partnering up, getting engaged to women who aren't doing these things, and then hoping the women will completely change once a ring is on their finger? Huh?
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/23 06:21 PM
10

LMFAO this was my exact thoughts reading this post. I was like "wtf...? He asked for your input... why would you play games instead"
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/23 05:43 PM
1

it actually freaked me out how certain my gut feeling was. I'd try to convince myself there was a lot that could go wrong, and that I needed to take this time of discernment very seriously. Haaaa, experiencing kinda similar feelings recently. We just moved in together and though on paper, it sounds fast, the circumstances were right and everything just kept pointing to it being the right move, even when I sat down and weighed both the logical and emotional pros & cons. It’s nice 🥰
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/23 12:20 PM
2

You’re a dual income household. If you do not already have a housekeeper to come for biweekly/monthly deep cleans, I recommend you do so. You cannot be expected to keep a house working full-time and you should not feel like a failure for struggling to do so. I think a lot of people don't realise that keeping a household running seamlessly IS a full-time job, if not more than 40 hours per week (at least until it's very well set up & maintained & a routine is established). So if OP is already work…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/23 07:48 PM
1

Higher/more intensity in workouts doesn't necessarily equal stronger results btw. You may just be hurting yourself for no good reason instead when you could be doing something at a lower intensity
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/23 07:46 PM
1

Mid overall, but everyone has their specific tastes 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/23 02:25 PM
3

Look up somatic experiencing therapy. It helped me tremendously beyond other therapy types to get back in touch with the person I was before abuse.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/23 02:22 PM
4

I feel like this is exactly what I’m currently experiencing for the first time the past few months. It’s the most wonderful feeling and makes me feel like I’m at home when I’m with him. It’s been (and still is) a learning process to let go of the reins though.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/23 12:55 AM
15

“ I think about breaking up with him and I don't want to because he's so genuine with me. Maybe I won't and maybe I'll be with him forever.” I find this so sad 😔 Please don’t move in with this man until you’ve stopped thinking about breaking up with him and are actually mentally committed to him. It sounds like he really adores you and likely does not realise you are having these thoughts considering what you mention in your second paragraph.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/23 02:01 AM
1

The edits on that video are killing me 🤣 Why are there so many progressives that want to remain progressive but have a traditional partner? Do they not realise the disconnect there? The lifetime of relational friction they’d be signing up for? Why would a traditional person want a progressive partner? No matter who you are, you want someone who shares your values on the most important aspects, and that would be a massive disconnect.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/23 01:37 AM
4

For what it’s worth, not wearing makeup isn’t really “masculine”, and there’s a lot of more traditional men out there who actively prefer women who don’t wear it. Food for thought! For women’s clothing with different lengths check out eshakti, you can usually customize the lengths of the sleeves/pants/dresses/skirts for the pieces they sell on their site!
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/23 08:42 PM
3

I feel similarly! If he’d like to share them (equally, not just mine but also his), then I don’t mind him knowing where I’m at, I have nothing to hide 🤷‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/23 08:39 PM
14

“ This left me going the airport alone in a taxi/cab feeling, alone, hurt and LONELY.” How did you think your boyfriend of 4.5 years felt when you applied for a job abroad without his input and then accepted it? Did you expect him to be happy about it? Have you heard the employment concept of “constructive dismissal”? That’s basically what you did to the relationship with that move. Anyway, even beside that, it sounds like the relationship wasn’t ever that good and you were both forcing it. So b…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/23 12:22 PM
14

“ (for example, I’m liberal and am drawn towards very conservative men for some reason)” This isn’t related to nun mode, and may not be to our experience but thought I would share. I experienced this in a way as well. Then I stopped consuming social media and most news and began to realise that a lot of my past liberal leanings were only present in my brain because I had originally held conservative beliefs, but after expressing them had been so shamed by so many sources that I tried to mask the…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/23 11:57 AM
2

I think you have to look into why you aren’t finding men that you desire at first. A couple guys, the issue could be in them. But if it’s something you’ve encountered with every dynamic and only found people desirable after a year+, you should look inward for those answers.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/23 03:02 PM
1

I could write a more specific reply here but I think it’s best summarized by saying you have a lot of uncommunicated/silent expectations as well as poor boundaries and you need to do a lot of work on both of those issues.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/23 02:58 PM
18

Wait so you don’t even have kids with this ex but you’re still taking care of him??? Why??? You realise any sane man looking to date you would see this situation and immediately cut and run, right?
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/23 02:44 PM
4

Ding ding, bring your captain your problem, not your solution :D
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/23 10:40 PM
35

Girl you have to move on. Block on all platforms, stop checking his socials COMPLETELY, stop doing attention-seeking behaviours (like posting a story hoping he’ll reply). Do things to distract yourself. He does not want you, and why should you want to be with someone who didn’t enthusiastically choose you? You won’t find the man you’re talking about in that last line until you have completely moved on because no respectable man would put up with his love interest pining after an ex.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/23 12:24 PM
–

This is harsh but the actual truth is, you aren’t “pure” anymore according to the standards of those who want actual virginity, and you never will be again. The only way to be comfortable with that is to acknowledge and work within it.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/23 04:09 AM
1

It’s tough sometimes because if you intend to have kids, you have to be cool with the fact that those genetics are going to pass on to your kids, and this is something I acknowledge as someone with glasses. Kinda similar to if you had a partner who had a nose job. The nose job doesn’t pass onto the kids, the original nose does
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/23 01:51 AM
1

It’s awful for health long term
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/23 01:47 AM
5

Oddly appropriate that this comment comes from a user with “Arod” in their username 😅
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 06:03 PM
3

Ironically wouldn’t wearing a hat actually contribute to hair loss due to the friction caused by one?
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 06:01 PM
8

Oh, that’s not what I’m grying to say, I didn’t word my thought very well. It’s less that they don’t have insecurities at all, but moreso they are honest about them and try to address them, or figure out how to sit with them without reacting at others when feeing insecure.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 06:00 PM
3

There are absolutely people out there who are secure in themselves, it takes work though.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 04:13 PM
14

wonder how we can address these situations gracefully while also respecting ourselves and our time. We can’t wait forever. Maybe when men mention wanting marriage, asking what their timeframe looks like? I feel that If someone is dating with the goal of finding a marriage-worthy partner, they usually have that at least sort of thought out if they are interested enough in the person.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 04:12 PM
-5

He says it's because i dont take responsibility (which i do, i say it's my anxiety, sorry for ruining, tell how im working on it, shut up). We are in our 30s and he knows that I hormonal disorder that may makes things difficult. He’s kind of right… This isn’t “taking responsibility”, it’s passing the buck and blaming your issues on your anxiety and hormonal disorder. If you’ve been using this excuse for years, I can see why he would be frustrated. What are you doing to fix your anxiety response …
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 04:06 PM
63

I feel like with men, the catfish situation is less physical, more emotional catfish. For example, plate spinning while telling a woman that she is the only woman he is involved with. Edited to add: great post topic and conversation starter!
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 03:44 PM
18

There’s SO much to unpack here… In the most respectful way possible, what on earth is wrong with you? Why are you still in this situation? Why were you looking at his texts? Please grow a backbone, show some respect for both of the people in this situation, and leave. Why did this get escalated to him living with you if you don’t see anything long term??? Get a roommate instead of leading someone on. This reads so much like a RP stereotype of a “modern woman” that I can’t even tell if it’s a ser…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/23 12:22 PM
9

LMAO
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/23 09:45 PM
7

“Credit to my man, he does want me and her to be good friends and for everyone to get along and he does encourage us to spend time together, but she's quite passive aggressive towards me and always excludes me. If we are in a group setting, soon after I arrive (within 15 mins) she will make an excuse and leave - and if she hosts a dinner party or event, everyone and their son is invited except me "because there's not enough space/it's a small house" or "I just don't feel like being social, it's …
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/23 02:25 PM
3

Love to see good vetting pay off 😌
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/23 02:18 PM
2

I’d love it please!!
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/23 02:00 PM
1

“First of all, men are so simple. They love it when anything is being made for them. Anything warm and yummy will make them happy, it doesn’t have to be a lot of effort either. So don’t put so much pressure on yourself! Yeah I cooked for the guy I fancy recently while visiting. It was last minute in an Airbnb with tools and a kitchen I am NOT used to, with barely any planning and he still seemed happy about it and ate everything. I can’t wait until I can show him my real cooking chops, when I ha…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/23 06:11 PM
1

“ my dad won't let me work in kitchen with my mom to learn anything.” Lol. And yet you say “with my mom” sooo I wonder who cooks for him and how he thinks that’s gonna work out for you 🤨
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/23 06:07 PM
2

Maybe I wrote this wrong! To be clear I knew him casually in passing for a while but only started speaking with him seriously for about a month before we met up. I meant the waiting a year as an example, to say I didn’t want to waste my time.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/23 12:22 PM
5

Thank you. This is comforting. I guess I’m afraid that if I let him go and move on, that he won’t end up being there in the future for a chance to even potentially happen. I was raised in an abusive household, and went through some bad relationships before I started to think for myself, so I don’t think of myself as a perfect mate, I’m fairly flawed but continually working on myself. In that same respect, I don’t think I can expect a man to be perfect either. Just to be aware of himself and cont…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/23 06:34 PM
-3

Marry Him: the Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough Maybe I’m just getting the wrong impression from the description of the book and the article she wrote for The Atlantic… but the idea of “settling” in that manner puts a very uncomfortable feeling of dread into my stomach. I can’t imagine doing that to someone. I want a partner who enthusiastically chooses me, and would want to choose a partner I was enthusiastic about in a similar way.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/23 06:31 PM
3

Fair, he never said that he wanted a virgin, to be clear. It’s moreso internal and just me being more concerned about the amount of men I’ve slept with combined with the fact that I haven’t settled down.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/23 05:40 PM
-34

Does it make any difference that he has been highly resistant to any money I spent on him? I practically had to force things on him because he didn’t feel right allowing a woman to pay. He never came off as someone who would allow that long term. Sure, I’m not dead, but my age is growing, the amount of men I have been with is approaching 10, and I’ve just had a glimpse into a life with a man who, if COVID hadn’t fucked over his work, might have been completely different. And that’s fleeting. Mon…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/23 05:38 PM
5

Ah, that clarifies things, thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/23 05:30 PM
8

I’m not, I’m just new to the community within the past few months and looking for advice. What about it is troll-like?
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/23 05:09 PM
1

I’ve been talking with a guy recently who has spurred me to legitimately question all my “platonic” male friendships. The amount I’ve had where the dudes have flirted or asked me out and then tried to still be friends after a rejection is… high. I’ve started distancing myself from them now because the friendships don’t feel real now that I’ve thought about it more.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 01:50 PM
16

I put up with this for far too long in my last relationship. It’s understandable to have a few weeks of shit feelings and depression occasionally. It’s an entirely other thing to just not take care of it and allow your shitty behaviour to rub off on others.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/23 01:28 PM
1

Feminism be like: “women should have free will to do what they want! Wait, no, not like that!”
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 05:11 PM
1

From the beginning, we talked about religion being something that could complicate things and agreed that as long as we dont force the others beliefs it will be fine. Glaring issue: I’m assuming you will want to raise your children with religion in their life, which would conflict with your above agreement of not “forcing the others beliefs”. I would not continue. You will both be wasting time. This is a massive compatibility issue and will hurt you both. You’ve been dating for SIX MONTHS. Move …
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 05:06 PM
3

Had a relationship last year fall apart because my ex refused to take responsibility for his physical and mental health. Would go to doctor’s appointments and not advocate for himself, then complain to me for an hour about the doctor doing the wrong things. Occasionally, complaining like this is fine. If you DO SOMETHING about it after. The complaints and not doing anything to change the situation got to me and eroded my confidence, trust, and attraction to him. I let it continue for far too lon…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 05:01 PM
8

Christ. Some women are really out there allowing the bar to be THAT low 😖
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 04:54 PM
4

Not great but I keep in contact. She is very emotionally unhealthy and I’ve had to keep a lot of walls and boundaries strong in order to maintain my own mental health and stability. She has a lot of anger issues. I have done a LOT of therapy to unlearn those issues, because she raised me with them and they were ingrained into me for decades. She also attempts to guilt trip as her go-to communication mechanism. My parents split when I was young and my relationship with my father is fantastic. I’m…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 04:52 PM
16

“ He told me the reason he kept me waiting was because he has depression and he was going through a lot in his life. I recall that he was anxious about world news, economics, as well as his dog’s declining health. It got bad enough that he started seeing a therapist again. He claimed he was afraid to tell me all of this because I might see him as less, and that he didn’t want to hurt me because dating someone with depression is different and frustrating. ” No, that didn’t happen because he was d…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 02:10 AM
15

I wonder if dudes also deal with this. Like, it’s very possible for a woman to have sex and have it fulfill absolutely zero of her carnal needs because it was incredibly lacklustre dick. I wonder if men can have boring unfulfilling sex in the same way
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 06:08 AM
6

“We're on the same page 💀 I've honestly seen enough of this dynamic. Just projecting their own insecurities on other men and "expecting" them to be assholes. That's what they're familiar and comfortable with, that's what they can navigate and think they deserve, and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.” I’ve seen this with sooo many “men are garbage” brand women. No idea how to vet for quality constantly walking face-first into low quality situations without a second thought, then turning around and…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 06:03 AM
1

why would it be silly for him to want to see you all done up and looking extra pretty around him?
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/23 05:13 PM
1

What do you say to him when you’re FaceTiming and he’s playing games?
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/23 05:10 PM
1

Certainly! Just speaking from my own personal experience. It’s happened twice to me 🤪
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/23 05:04 PM
2

As others has said the shirt is doing you a disservice. In terms of weight, not fat, but yes it looks like you have some extra pounds and that you could potentially end up there without some lifestyle modification (don’t have any context of your current lifestyle so don’t want to assume if you work out or not)
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/23 05:03 PM
3

I’ve always felt it to be a red flag. In my personal experience, it has meant one of two things, with the caveat that of course, not everyone’s experience is the same. In my case it turned out they were either: 1) trans and just hadn’t come out yet 2) cheating (physically or emotionally) In your case, the info about his promiscuity plus the age gap is icking me out. There is potentially a bad reason he can’t find someone closer to his age, especially if he talks about being worried about ending …
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/23 04:57 PM
0

Just reading these 3 paragraphs gave me anxiety. Holy moly, please take 5 deep breaths and accept there will sometimes be unknowns that appear in life, no matter how hard we try to control things, and that’s okay. How long have you been together?
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/23 03:14 PM
1

How long are you talking for? Is this an online dating thing? Is it realistic to meet up to have an in-person date? Some dudes I know will block/remove/ghost women from apps after a certain amount of days if she isn’t willing to meet IRL.
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/23 06:10 PM
6

It’s been my experience in dating as well that a man who is fine with going Dutch constantly isn’t going to treat you exceptionally in other ways, for one reason or another. Last man I dated had a good regular job, a nice place, his own good car, but constant money issues and never wanted to splurge to visit me (long distance, he drove but I ended up paying for plane tickets to visit him most of the time) or take me out to dinner. Always complained about being broke but he didn’t seem to have ne…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/23 06:07 PM
9

Maybe I’m reading this incorrectly but I didn’t get the gist that OP doesn’t want to raise children. The post reads to me that OP would like to raise children, but not be their biomom/ have her body go through what is required to gestate and birth the child.
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/23 05:56 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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