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CryptographerKey3781 Archive

View 2 posts and 34 comments by CryptographerKey3781 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
36

Dealing with the Ex / STBXCryptographerKey3781/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 02:28 PM
2

CryptographerKey3781/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 01:49 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

You dont have to be bitter. You can still cordial, but let the resentment help you stop trying to get your worth from her, it will help you realize who she truly was. Resentment can help u keep things “strictly business” and even help motivate you to better yourself to take care of yourself. You dont have to use it to be better or to completely hate her etc, just like u dont have to use sadness or pain to fall apart, you can channel it to something actually productive…and the best part would be …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 12:03 AM
1

Hey man, it was the same here..told me she fell out of love…then i find out that there was actually somebody else for a whole month and a half before she asked me for a divorce. I know u are devastated, i cant tell u that it doesnt or wont hurt..but man as corny as it sounds…the only way out is through…take all of the emotions u feel and just tackle them head on..talk to your most trusted friends…talk to the therapist u were initially going to try to do couples counseling so just do solo counsel…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 04:04 PM
1

I would simply ask her point blank what her magic number is, then see if u can take that out of the equity in your home, give her the cash..and goodbye forever to her…look at it as paying her for your future peace.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 10:45 PM
2

Why would a judge go through 2000 pages of texts??? Simple exerts of the specific texts that prove her “sob story” contradictory with the time stamp is all that would be filed for him to look at. Why on earth would i give him/her our entire relationship worth of texts lmao
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 12:03 AM
2

Okay so by your logic somehow me showing contradicting evidence of her narrative is my sob story? But her claiming i financially crippled her is not a sob story by her?
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 05:39 PM
-2

Texts absolutely matter…not because this is Perry Mason, but because credibility, timeline, and voluntary choices matter in any equitable‑distribution state. Pay stubs and tax returns show income. …pay stubs/tax returns show WHAT she earned….Texts show WHY she earned only that. They do not show who voluntarily reduced their hours, who refused full‑time work, who asked for financial help, who relied on the other spouse, who made lifestyle choices that contradict their claims, who contributed or d…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 03:28 PM
3

It will prove that she CHOSE to not earn money, and as a result caused herself to be so financially “crippled”. It proves that she is employable, can work, has worked full time before..but decided on her own not to….It was never as a result of something i ever did or requested her to do…such as sacrifice her career etc. Also proves she didnt contribute anything to the household financially or otherwise. My lawyer told me i was married to a free loader essentially after reading most of the texts……
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 02:43 PM
1

My name is on the mortgage and deed…there is nothing with both our names except she is on my health insurance thats it. No joint debts. My annual income is six figures and her is five figures.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 12:04 AM
3

I am so sorry you are going through this. My advice is try your best to remember whatever has happened is in the past…nothing you can do to change it. Nothing u do will change the ending as far as getting your wife back etc. Try your best to just focus on things that are within your control like your future. If money allows, i highly suggest therapy for yourself…not with the intention of just getting better but with the intention of just venting and getting these feelings off your chest. Dont hi…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 02:14 PM
1

Because i paid for nearly 99.999999% of everything during our marriage and time leading up to that marriage, i refused to let her betrayal make me feel like a stranger in MY own home…the minute i found out she cheated…”our” home became MY home in my head….i immediately took down all pictures etc..and on weekends repainted walls , rearranged furniture in all the rooms except the spare bedroom that she stayed/stays in. She didnt and doesnt dare say anything because she knows that i paid for nearly…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 07:23 AM
5

Nothing like a court appointed guardian who never spent a second with your kids gets to decide what parent is best for them..it’s such a joke.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 05:03 AM
8

I mean yeah it is kinda a dickish move to stay with somebody who u can barely look in the face, you should have honestly left a long time ago once u realized you werent physically attracted to her. It’s also not fair to her…then again idk your whole story so i am not being judgy. Nevertheless, you are here now….u say 2025 was an emotional hell, well bud make 2026 an emotional heaven then….shoot your shot because you already went through an emotional hell so at this point what have u got to lose …
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 03:18 AM
5

Damn bro i am so sorry to see that u went through that man! Hope you are recovering well!
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 03:49 PM
10

Try not to look at it that way. Try to think from a logical standpoint of like “why would she keep it?”, as much as it hurts to hear…her new partner would definitely not appreciate her having a ring on that another man got her…if she wears it as an accessories, it might prevent her from fully moving on. It just doesnt make sense for her to keep it from any perspective. Like others said, take it, smile, Be happy it happened, sell it, treat yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 01:29 PM
5

Honestly, i know everyone is here like oh dive into a hobby or burry yourself in work, exercise etc., but remember, the only way out is through. That means you have to go through it, to get to the other side. If you just bury yourself in work and never face all of the emotions that comes with this divorce, then all you are doing is masking and distracting…you are not really getting over anything, and it will creep up on you when u least expect it. Instead, yes do cardio, yes focus on your work, …
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 03:22 PM
6

Wow she filed paperwork on your ten year anniversary, how petty is she…look just start getting your stuff in order and literally only talk to her on a as needed basis. Go to therapy to vent and or vent here. Dont worry about putting on a facade for your kids. Kids are not dumb, they will see through everything eventually. A good example for your kids is actually showing them that they dont have to “settle” or “put up” with somebody who makes them unhappy or did them wrong / hurt them. Sure u wan…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 07:24 PM
3

Please share
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 02:03 PM
2

Shit, i am In ct and i bought the house under my name, six months after we got married…she didnt put a dime into the house..she literally only paid her car note..i paid everything else. We have no kids and only been married less than five years…she voluntarily stayed home…didnt work..cheated while i was at work. Getting ready for first mediation. I swear if they reward her for her cheating by giving her anything 😒
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 08:56 PM
2

I am sorry you are going through this, I can’t even begin to fathom. You need to know that this will suck no matter what you choose to do. If you choose to stay, well then u will constantly have to deal with her unpredictable mood swings, if you leave you only give her (and whoever else she talks to) more ammunition to use against as the A-hole that left when “things got hard”. And you can try all u want to explain to people that you deserve peace and stability as much as anyone else. The fact t…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 08:30 PM
2

U never asked me to not cheat on you either 😂😂 The line is tied for the top spot of my favorite lines with “i love you, im just not IN love with you” 😂😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 03:20 PM
18

Im still baffled that these women get or are entitled to anything when they cheated…it’s like thanks for cheating on me here is the paid off home and a nice car as a reward!! Like f that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 10:17 PM
3

Sorry to hear this man. Basically in the same boat…almost married for 5 years…when she hit me with the “i want to be independent, work on myself” line…and just like you i fell for it…for a whole damn week…she told me point blank to my face that “there is nobody else, i dont even see myself dating or being with anyone for a while”….i was tossing and turning, not sleeping..thinking where..where did i go wrong?….but long and behold…i check the doggy cams and then her ipad to find out she has been p…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 04:46 PM
3

First, love the username!! And yes she lived a cozy lifestyle…u want to know the kicker…the ex from 12 years ago..he is on his second marriage expecting a second child..so he literally will have a child from both marriages and my soon to be ex is happy playing the side chick role because she thinks they are “soulmates” lmao…i heard that on the camera feed i almost bursted out laughing.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 02:22 AM
7

Yeah same here…except i made 99% of the total income. We dont even have a kid together but she stayed home 5 days out of 7. And when she worked it was half days. She too was not a social person, until February. When she randomly started going out every Friday with her old friends…long and behold it was her EX from 12 years ago whom she just on a random day home alone reached out to and contacted. Then they spent HOURS on face time while i was busting my ass at work..from the moment i left the ho…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 03:20 PM
12

Yup like everyone is pretty much saying on here..she fell out of love…cause she met somebody else…and it probably was going on for a while. You really need to investigate, gather your evidence, get into therapy for yourself, and prepare to move on..the woman u thought you knew is gone.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 12:39 PM
2

I am sorry to hear that man. I recommend therapy for yourself just so u can continuously vent man..u have to let it all out in a healthy and judge free environment. But also what helped me is this whole “start taking it back a little bit of at a time” thing. The premise is this, say your living room’s walls were always blue when u were married…pick one wall, paint it a different color of your choice..then each day paint another wall..and u will physically see the house being taken back by YOU…re…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 11:48 PM
13

So glad to hear that u didnt pay any alimony…drives me insane when they get to cheat and then the court gives them essentially a reward for cheating by giving them some of your money
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 10:22 PM
6

Important to let it out bro, take those waves head on man…dont run dont hide from them…it will prove to u that u can withstand them…just think 8 months ago u would have done anything to be in the mental space u are now..keep going man!
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 04:33 PM
3

It honestly made the resentment easier for me…even though in my case mine was cheating on me..emotionally initially…little did she know the same cameras we installed all over the house to keep an eye on our dogs..are the same cameras that caught her facetiming him every day the moment i walked out the house for work…facetime while she was changing, while she was in the shower..then she played the whole good wife part when i would come home…did this for over a month..then asked me for a divorce o…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 04:31 PM
2

Sounds about right. We didnt have kids just two dogs, but she was hit with depression hard when her brother was killed in a horrific car accident over 10 years ago. So i started progressing in my career and started making a great amount of money i told her that if she wanted to she can reduce her hours and work on her mental health. She started reducing her hours to about 6 hours a week, and all she had to do was make dinner about 4 days a week. The dogs still went to day care every day. In fact…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 01:27 PM
14

The quote that helped me was “imagine you were bit by a venomous snake, and instead of turning around and going to the hospital to get the antidote, you chase the snake and keep chasing all while asking why, why did u bite me, tell me why did u bite me….the longer u chase the snake the longer the venom inside you spreads, the sicker u get”. So the snake for me was my ex wife. I decided to stop chasing her to find out why she bit me, cause it wont change the fact that i was bit nonetheless…and th…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 02:37 PM
7

Well i coped with it by finding out that there was somebody else that she was talking to/seeing a whole month before she asked for her “i want to be independent” divorce….so all my grief and sadness turned into anger/resentment…as much as it sucked..it made it that much easier to move forward at a faster rate. Any time a slither of grief comes into my mind, i simply remind myself that this woman watched me suffer for two weeks trying to figure out why she fell out of love with me..while the whol…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 03:24 PM
1

I still cant grasp the concept that they fucking get to lie, manipulate, cheat and then get a payout as some sort of fucking reward!! Like wtf. Like fucking rewarding the criminal for the crime… literally paying her for cheating… sorry just venting
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 07:42 PM
3

Did u ever get it through it? If so how? I mean like the silence and stuff man..cause like i am dreading that
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 10:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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