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Currentlycurious1 Archive

View 1 post and 581 comments by Currentlycurious1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Money will attract women, but they won't be attracted to YOU, they'll be there for their own ego, the social status, and lifestyle (well mostly, they may become attracted with enough time). I still think the best way to go is social skills, effort, and self love... If you're blessed facially or personality-wise you may be good, but that's not most of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 06:01 AM
–

Women should be honest about what they're attracted to. Men will often try and authentic-max, kindness-max, money-max, or do other stupid strategies in order to be attractive. If women were more honest (or self aware) men might become legit more attractive and also not get embittered when their dumb ass starts don't work.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:16 AM
2

I have tons of life goals, and career and money aren't on the list
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 10:53 PM
1

I think one of the biggest problems with the world is that there isn't enough sluts. 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 01:07 AM
3

Because when men ask for advice, they are told to be more authentic and be a good person. It's only recently people have said dress better, get in shape get a nice haircut, etc...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:28 AM
1

How is 71k good? There are so many easy jobs like coding or finance that pay bank! You need to incentivize talent to want to teach
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 12:48 AM
3

Yeah, no. I got in pretty good shape and it did nothing for me. Meanwhile my friends who slay are generally just charming confident guys, and not in great shape at all
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:50 PM
1

That's mostly true, but men are more honest about what they want. Women will say things like 'I just want a guy who listens' when they want a lot more to y
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:29 PM
11

Men date up because pretty, young women are high status. Everyone wants higher status, men and women just measure it differently. Yes I read point 9, and yes you miss this
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:40 AM
3

Of course. I'm in my mid 30s, I can't be too young for all those women in their 40s The point is, women don't lose much dating value when they're older. If they stay in shape and take care of themselves, they still will have sky high dating value. The person I responded to said the change is "drastic" and I've never seen anything close to that
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 08:25 AM
5

It doesn't drastically reduce shit. I send out so many likes to women in their 40s and it's crickets. They have options too
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 06:43 AM
2

Okay, we've all read our Buddha and Schopenhaur. I hope you use this same monk energy for every other pleasure in life. Go to the leftists subs and tell them the blessing of asceticism for being poor. Go to the painting subreddit and explain the futility in wanting actualization self expression will just lead to an unfulfilled desire.... Its insane
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 08:41 PM
2

What is the point of this comment?!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 08:25 PM
2

"Just don't chase the things in life you want the most!" Like, how wild is that advice? That's the issue. You don't give the same advice when it comes to eating candy, playing games, reading a book, etc...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 08:08 PM
2

So telling someone not to chase their desires is super super tough. Whats left, the monk lifestyle for everyone?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 07:31 PM
3

So what should the guy who wants sex and validation from women do? Like sure, it'd be better if everyone was more moral, but how do you convince guys to be incentivized to be more moral? Like if his main focus to to win the validation of beautiful women and have sex with them... Where do we go?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 07:22 PM
–

Im fairly well travelled 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 06:45 PM
1

Neither am I though. Ime those things are not sufficient for dating success.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:39 AM
2

I'm social, play sports competitively, life weights, etc... this does not just happen. 🧢 🧢 🧢 I really, really wish this stuff were true, but gymcels are a real thing guys 😐
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 03:08 AM
1

Here am I, just living life having fun for the last 5 years, and never been chased at all
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 11:21 PM
1

I don't know why people focus on niceness when it's charm and charisma. Teasing someone you just met isn't nice at all, but can be super charming. Its majority social skills guys, you just need to go out and watch guys go to work
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 11:17 PM
1

I want a soft harem, where are they all?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 10:55 PM
4

Why all the strawmanning? I'm not far left, and I don't think the family is a bad source of meaning. What I think happens is it gets fetishized when our other sources of meaning are waning. Local communities are dying, 3rd places gone, the church less and less relevant... For traditionalists, that leads them to elevating the few things they have left. I don't think people who choose not to have kids are inferior in any way, and neither are those that want to have kids. We're just talking about m…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 06:46 AM
0

🤷‍♂️ I've never been to Croatia, but I've been elsewhere in eastern Europe. I don't know how that disqualifies my experience. I've been to Colombia, Mexico, Costa Rica, Thailand, Vietnam, Korea, Japan, the UK, Spain, Greece, Turkey, Poland, and Ukraine. I:d love to travel to Croatia too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 02:05 AM
1

Umm, yeah, I'd say so.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 01:51 AM
4

You can't drive ought from is. Evopsych prescriptionism is social darwinism with window dressing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 01:50 AM
5

It's a very clever argument to use evopsych as both an explanatory framework for understanding why we have certain traditional cultural norms and also as a justification for certain prescriptive claims. To make this a bit shorter, I find principles like I mentioned, self-determination, freedom, education, etc... to matter a lot more to me than preserving archaic teleologies. To bring it back to the point of this thread, I'd rather find a women who I think is exercising these values of self actua…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 01:36 AM
0

I see it all the time. Women tend to be less assertive, less opinionated, and less educated in non-western countries. I'm not talking about Islamic ones either, I'm thinking latin America, eastern Europe, and east/southeast Asia.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 01:23 AM
9

Its the fetishization of the family that gets redpillers like you associated with far right movements. Like self actualization, building relationships, self expression, seeking novel experiences, etc.. aren't all fine ends into themselves equal to the whole 1950s traditional nuclear family thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 01:20 AM
10

Non western women work, vote, drive and all that stuff, just with more pleasant attitudes and a greater regard for the men around them This shit is wild. Like is the only difference that western women have worse attitudes and nag more? And yes I have travelled around, and I know how "non-westerm" women tend to be, and that's far more shackled to patriarchy than their western counterparts. I love women to have agency, be self expressive, curious, educated, and opinionated.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 01:15 AM
21

I don't want a "non-westerm" women. Half the shit I talk about or joke about are references to bits of western culture, that's a HUGE gap in relativity and communication. There's no way I could respect a woman who thinks that's she's only good for childbearing and housework, and doesn't believe in political or educational representation for women. That's just absolutely insane to me I'd rather be single than debase myself by turning against my deeply held humanistic beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 01:03 AM
–

Is about about being interesting or boring, I don't get what you're saying?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 05:51 PM
5

More like effortmaxxing. I'm tall, in shape, dress well, but I simply don't hit on enough women. I see lots of uglies guys slay. Shits pretty simple
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 05:49 PM
–

Okay. There's this idea out there that if you're a guy who's: in shape, finances are okay, have hobbies, and have a healthy social life... That you'll be swimming in women. And that's just so not the case
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 02:53 AM
–

Have you heard of imposter syndrome? People can be highly competent and still insecure. And people can be highly confident and achieved nothing. The correlation is mostly myth
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 02:38 AM
–

competent adult male with interests, hobbies, friends, and financial ability to provide for himself is far more attractive than some insecure dude who is obsessed with his own made up obstacles and his bullshit theories about women. A guy can be both of those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 02:27 AM
–

Lol, someone is sheltered AF.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 01:54 AM
–

Why are you acting like older means in their 60s+? Men in their 30s and 40s aren't all paunchy and wrinkly.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 01:48 AM
–

You're going to ignore the older man confidence? Also, guys in their 30s and 40s can still look plenty attractive enough for women, it's just the extra bit of gifting that gets them past their competition sometimes
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 01:04 AM
–

Younger women haven't experienced things like love-bombing as much and are going to be impressed more with gifts and fancy dinners. Ime, older women are capable of buying a fancy dinner themselves, and so can their friends, whereas it's a treat for the fresh out of college girl eating ramen all the time
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 01:02 AM
–

Generally because older men have more money to burn and have higher status. Age gap stuff tends to be more overtly transactional. Older men can also be more confident than their younger counterparts which can be attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 12:59 AM
–

Maybe there's a multiplicity of reasons? I mean, younger women are more easy to manipulate. But yeah, they're usually hotter too. They usually aren't as jaded. They're more likely to want to get inebriated. They don't want to go to bed before 9 pm. Their backs and feet don't give out on the dance floor. They can't do hours of sex Like I love older women, and I don't mind the emotional baggage because I have mine too. But frankly, older women can't keep up with me. If they could, I'd prefer it, o…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 12:37 AM
–

Being broke isn't a priori incompatible with being attractive though. Being desirable isn't some objective trait but dependent on the others relation to you. One can, theoretically, change nothing about yourself and become extremely desirable because the preferences and desires of those around you change. Some men, after all, get lucky and find a woman with odd preferences and don't have to deal with feeling this way
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 11:02 PM
–

That we're desirable and wanted. Men want to feel desired in the same way they desire women, and vice versa. Why suggest sex workers? What do you think underlies this behavior?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 10:43 PM
–

It's not the sex, it's the validation. Most men would rather have a beautiful woman pining for them rather than have amazing sex with a mid woman. Sex workers can't give validation because we know they're getting paid to act.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 10:07 PM
–

No, men chase hot women, and then cry when the externalities bite them in the ass. Men are at least aware of what their attracted to, just unaware of the consequences. Women know how to be hot for men: be thin, effeminate, show cleavage, etc... Men have much less of a clue about how to be attractive to women, and we see that time and time again. Guys go to the gym for years, update their wardrobe, drive expensive cars, chase their own authenticity, and everything else and after all that, bear no…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 09:18 PM
–

The big, big problem is that women either completely lie or are completely unaware about what they're attracted to. Men who listen will become incredibly bitter when their advice does not pan out.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 09:06 PM
–

How is it a contradiction? The hatred is because they never get their approval.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 09:05 PM
–

That's true. I just think that there is an idea that being in great shape will automatically make someone like a 7 or 8.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 08:05 PM
–

I'm sure there are some women like you. But there are tons of men, not just me, that will testify they got in good shape and it didn't do shit for their dating or sex lives. So many, that they'll tell men NOT to get in shape if it's their motivation
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 07:09 PM
1

Eh, I think usually socioeconomic status correlates with other traits, like ambition and respect for social hierarchies, which are also attractive. I think women love those things too, the starving artist is hot if they actually are dedicated
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 07:48 AM
–

Most of the guys who slay that I know are not in that great of shape. They're handsome or smooth talkers
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:27 AM
–

Mid 30s. I'm not that weird or creepy 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:27 AM
–

Sure. It's excellent in that environment. People just universalize it to the rest of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:21 AM
–

6'1". It might be my bio, or my pics. I've seen some guys succeed with some atrocious bios though, so I don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 12:46 AM
–

That's about it. I think women can be extremely picky on these apps, and if you don't particularly excel at something, you're SOL. Lots of people think that being tall, white, and in-shape gives me free reign over the apps, but man, not the case at all
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 12:45 AM
21

Women obviously don't care about a gym body. There's enough gymcels out there to prove that to be the case. A handsome face and some sort of visual proof of a relatively high socioeconomic status is usually what does it. I'm tall, in shape, educated, etc... and can't get shit for matches. Women don't care about a lot of the things we think they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 11:59 PM
2

I've never met someone who is fully deontologist, people expect some good outcomes if they consistently are morally good. Even Kant has a kingdom of ends at the end of his intent based normativity. It doesn't matter though, no one outside of phil nerds cares about consistency with these normative ethical theories anyhow. The problem, imo, is that stated and revealed preferences diverge so heavily in the dating world
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 10:07 PM
3

I don't think that's so much the issue, as that many people lie or virtue signal about what they're attracted to. Many women say they're attracted to kind men, when in reality, that's not a top trait. And even if it is, it's not a highly visible one, so they don't select on it often. Men who hear "I like kind men" become embittered when hot women choose hot men who often aren't kind
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 08:56 PM
–

There is so much virtue signaling in here on this one. Actually insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 02:08 PM
–

I've given head when it didn't sound appetizing. Did I do a bad thing? Was that consent? If I started enjoying it does that change things?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 07:01 AM
–

Sure. Sometimes your partner is sleepy in the morning, or teases you about a chore that need to get done, or empathizes with your horniness be cause you return the favor. It's not so black and white as being enthusiastic being okay and nonenthusiastic being a red light. Even if you guys always have amazing sex and communicate perfectly, it won't always be so clean.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 05:16 AM
–

Have you been in a relationship? Not every yes is enthusiastic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 05:09 AM
–

I'm 6'1" and prefer a-cups. You'd think the world is my oyster but it's not
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 09:47 PM
–

In man speak? Lol. I look like somewhere between Chris Martin and Jude law. I'm not ugly 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 07:34 PM
10

I wish I knew. I'm a pretty good conversationalist, and I'm at least okay looking. Tall. I make friends very easily. Just never been good at attracting women 🤷‍♂️. The gender ratio sucks where I'm at, but that seems like an excuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 03:21 AM
19

I think I'm fairly interesting. I competed in the pan-american games, I'm pretty damned well read, well travelled, continue to play sports and stay in great shape, and do creative pursuits like writing. Women don't thirst after me. Interesting doesn't matter
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 01:33 AM
16

I'm always complimenting my male coworkers, friends, and acquaintances.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 01:30 AM
3

Yup. It's def a pretty big thing
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 04:36 AM
8

Absolutely. I have everything I want in life (amazing friends, great competitive physical outlets, creative endeavors, etc...) except women lusting after me
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 11:29 PM
4

I don't understand why guys here keep aspiring to be the guy that a woman only wants to sleep with and not commit to Because we want to be wanted in the same way we want women. Guys will melt for a women for a pretty face and body. So, we want to be wanted that same way and will go to the gym and get expensive hair cuts and try and dress fashionably hoping that a women will see us and lust after us the same way we list after them The authenticity pill. We want to be wanted for who we are and for…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 11:08 PM
10

The resentment towards those who aren't addicted to climbing the socioeconomic ladder is so intense 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 03:44 AM
3

That's kinda true. I make 50k a year in a HCOL city, every women around me considers that 'broke'.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 03:14 AM
4

Life isn't hard being broke. I live very comfortably making little money. I think women often don't admit that they like extravagant lifestyles
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 02:05 AM
1

Yeah, but it still ain't easy mode.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 09:42 PM
3

I'm late 30s and in excellent shape. I play sports and run circles around guys in their 20s. Ladies don't line up for me. Don't expect your pick if you get in shape. Women don't care if you're in shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 08:48 PM
-2

Imo, it's 90% charm and effort. I've seen many guys with a handsome face struggle, and uggos do well. But that's a tangent.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 04:36 AM
0

As a tall, fit man... Not really 😐
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 03:36 AM
1

Women often encourage men to be ambitious, chase their dreams, be authentic... But when pressed with the fact that many men desire nothing more than to fuck lots of attractive women, want to take back that rhetoric.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 03:13 AM
3

"chase what you want in life!". "No, not that!"
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 02:33 AM
2

Absolutely. We could quibble over the percentages, but I'd say a sizeable amount of men don't. What advice for them? The authenticity advice seems to only breed contempt and resentment from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 04:31 AM
4

Try what? Climb the socioeconomic ladder to win validation from women who are pretending to validate something other than that fact? No thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:32 AM
1

women always talk about how they are independent, successful in their career, take care of their own shit and know what they want out of life? And then women say they want authenticity. Umm, i'd like to work as little as possible, don't have goals in life, and love the attention if women. Women shouldn't say they want authenticity, they want a man to climb the socioeconomic ladder for them
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 12:20 AM
2

The thing is, there's two types of self improvement imo. There's the self actualization that men actually want to do. And there's the self improvement that makes men more attractive. There often is very little overlap, if any at all. If my idea of self improvement is ranking up in chess elo and in overwatch, it's not going to get me any tail. If I chase more money and social status, that might work, but I wouldn't do it at all if women didn't want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 10:21 PM
1

It's honestly probably social skills. Work on those over and over and over. Practice flirting and making women feel good in those interactions. Good luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 11:19 PM
2

I started putting myself out there, socializing a bunch and flirting with women all the time. I also got into better shape and starting dressing well all the time. The key was really just being social and finding the social groups I thrived in. And feigning confidence for so long I actually started to feel confident. But yeah, take chances, even if it's scary, which for me it was very scary for years.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 07:53 PM
3

Same, didn't lose my virginity till freaking 25 and now I have an amazing sex life. Don't get doonerpilled too early in life guys
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 09:29 PM
1

Even still, I switchh positions a few times. Cowgirl to missionary to doggy and back to missionary. Maybe stand up sex if she isn't too heavy. Didn't know this wasn't the norm
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 10:50 PM
1

Wait, are we not supposed to be switching positions?!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 04:10 AM
7

As a tall white guy, I really need to do better
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 04:04 AM
-2

Well, there's some ironies. Many women lean left and are very critical of capitalism, so them putting income on a pedestal is something else
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 10:24 PM
1

A 5/10 millionaire will absolutely pull hotties. And unfortunately, I think one every couple of weeks is median, a huge amount of men don't get any matches at all. I'm 6'1" and in great shape too, it could be much worse for me. Anyways, I don't know how to cross the bridge with you, clearly we have much different experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 04:03 AM
1

It went from like 1 every couple weeks to like 20 that week. That's pretty significant. More matches means more opportunity, even if most won't be attracted or vibe. I know these apps don't release data, but I'd be very surprised if people of higher socioeconomic status didn't get more dates and action than others in their local areas.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 03:47 AM
1

I've changed my OLD profile to say doctor instead of server, and my matches went up over 100x. No other changes at all. It's def a huge factor imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 03:05 AM
2

There's no way. I make somewhere close to the average income, and women aren't NEAR as interested than if I made significantly more. And combining incomes is almost always a good thing, they absolutely should be interested if they were motivated by "survival", it's 💯 better than paying bills single. But most people survive just fine, poverty is at very low levels in the West.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 02:46 AM
1

It's not about "money being necessary". It's about women being attracted to the personality types of the go-getter, social savant, and ladder climber. Women don't throw themselves at the Lebowskis of the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 02:12 AM
2

I do, but the proportion of women who seek ambitious men who want to climb up the socioeconomic ladder is quite high. I think women have a tendency to be hardwired for it. Going for the others puts me in quite the competition
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 01:25 AM
5

The problem is that chasing status and money can go completely against our own values. I love to live in the moment, read, hang out with friends, and do as a little work as possible. You're asking me to change who I fundamentally am to attract women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 12:53 AM
2

I know, I have a fuck buddy, I'd just love variety.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 12:01 AM
2

I very much care about getting women to cum, but that doesn't get me a variety of women. I can't speak to other men, but for me it's a huge ego boost, I absolutely love it. I'd rather them cum than me, but how does that help me pull?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 10:27 PM
19

I didn't chase until my late 20s and never got any action. Men have to chase, full stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 04:56 AM
–

I think it's often a zero sum game, men and women want different things. Like, as a guy, I think everyone should be having way more casual sex, I think women should be approaching me, I think women should be dressing sluttier. Lots of women want the exact opposite. Finding the middle ground is tough
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 07:53 PM
4

Sure, mostly. But reducing it to attraction is not true. Again, fairly attractive men still struggle.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 11:25 PM
7

Other reasons: They don't go out enough Social group is small or male dominated They aren't a great flirt, nervous, or awkward They don't approach and ask out enough women Lots of people have known a decently attractive guy who struggles with women. And lots of otherwise average guys do. And lots of unattractive men slay.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 10:57 PM
6

Plenty of guys who aren't fucking at that age are plenty attractive enough, they aren't getting laid for other reasons. Guys will get gaslit into believing it's their attractiveness because other men get sex easily and these men struggle on apps if they get on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 10:41 PM
3

Being assertive will FEEL pushy to some men. Best for them to get used to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 10:38 PM
3

Not true. Imo, you have to be pushy. I think some guys are nowhere close to assertive enough, making a case for themselves. It WILL feel pushy to them, and they have to learn to be okay with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 10:23 PM
8

When did I say they're entitled? Someone asked why being a virgin is bad? I said because they probably really want to fuck. It's pretty simple
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 10:16 PM
7

It's not black and white. We cover up our eccentricities, intrusive thoughts, atypical desires, insecurities, etc... all the time. Everyone does it. We even realize the people who have "no filter" can be unattractive because of it. RBF is unattractive, even if it's authentic.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 10:15 PM
3

I don't think so. People call me charming and charismatic, and I almost never feel at ease in my own skin, very aware of what others are thinking of me. Charm is just a skill, and I don't think it's related to being self-assured, I've known plenty of people with the latter and not the former.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 10:03 PM
6

I wish. If you're passive at all, it doesn't really matter if you're fun and chill. You have to flirt and make moves and approach, even if. It's the most inauthentic and painful thing for you to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 09:47 PM
11

Game is just charm and charisma. Nobody really wants uncharming, uncharismatic people
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 09:40 PM
23

Most guys, ESPECIALLY ones in their teens and twenties, really want to fuck. When NONE of the women you want to fuck want to fuck you, it's incredibly demoralizing and makes you feel unattractive and unworthy if physical attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 09:37 PM
7

Kinda depends. If you stay in good shape and take care of yourself, you can probably remain attractive well into your 50s. But, you're only 22. This is your hyperactive mind catastrophizing. You should relax and just get out there more often.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 05:31 AM
1

Yeah, there's two main possibilities Some women over 40 are still conventionally attractive. There's quite a few celebrities that fit this bill. Women over 40 that the man has been in love with. It's pretty common for men to still find the woman attractive that he fell in love with when he was younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 05:24 AM
4

It's sooooo much easier to lift heavy things and restrict your diet than it is to talk to pretty women. There is no correlation in "persistence".
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 10:30 PM
5

This is the weird thing that men don't get. Women love men who are good at picking up other women. You can have everything else going for you, but if you're not good at picking up women, you'll be disqualified from 90% of those ladies.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 10:29 PM
3

I don't disagree. The different hungers is maybe the biggest issue causing everything
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 04:28 PM
3

Nobody wants to change their preferences, they want to satisfy them. You can't tell a man who wants a steak to want less, he wants what he wants. Maybe he'll settle for a burger, but he's hungry.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 06:21 AM
0

Slut shaming is largely done by women who want to keep the value of sex priced high. Any man who slut shames is generally just envious of women's easy access to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 10:34 PM
4

Louder for the tall reductionists in the back....
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 06:46 AM
6

Just outside a big West Coast city.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 04:52 AM
8

I'm mid 30s, 6'1", and 180, and I don't get shit on the apps. Do you have a handsome face?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 03:39 AM
3

Men should prioritize their own desires rather than blindly following women's instructions, as this self-assurance is inherently attractive. Can you provide examples. Like my issue is that men desire the affection of women, and also desire other things. Often it's one or the other. A guy can either climb league of legends to diamond, or he can date around. A guy can either chill all day, or chase a career and social status for women's approval.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 02:42 AM
1

On me being tall? Lol, do you want a me to send you a picture of me next to some tape measure? Look, broke guys who struggle thing rich guys slay, shy guys who struggle thing extroverts slay, skinny guys and fat guys who struggle thing fit guys slay, and short guys who struggle thing tall guys slay. Everyone points to what they don't have. I guarantee I'm not the only moderately tall fuck who doesn't get laid
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 06:05 AM
3

And if I don't enjoy the hunt? If getting rejected, making women uncomfortable, having awkward small talk, all outweigh the positives of a pull, what then?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 12:16 AM
-1

That makes victory that much sweeter. If she only goes out with me because I was one of three guys at the bar that night, that's lame. If she chose me from among 50 swipes that day, that's much more awesome.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 10:53 PM
2

That guy who slays has more good qualities than being tall. Source: I'm tall
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 10:48 PM
1

No way. If they're both saving pre-children it's easier, but there are ways for even the brokest of people to live very decently while raising kids. You can't tell me that the lady quitting a six figure job can't figure out a way to make ends meet for four years or so? Like seriously, this "used to a certain lifestyle" is some posh-ass bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 09:01 AM
–

I bet you both like confidence.... 🫤
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 05:14 AM
2

Eh, probably not. Dating and attraction studies usually aren't so niche, and usually try to modify existing frameworks like evo-psych. Also, you'd have to exclude the opportunity costs of dating while in college which is a huge boost, and come up with a way to objectively tier the status of careers.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 05:40 AM
5

Absolutely. Do you see how experience can be informative. I'd be curious to see how education predicts dating success when adjusting for job status.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 04:21 AM
-1

I have a BA but wait tables. Women dont care about the education.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 03:58 AM
1

I know, tell the alleged egalitarian, not me
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 02:30 AM
3

Not when it comes to giving advice...
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 11:44 PM
2

I literally don't understand you
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 10:55 PM
2

Giving up isn't a solution. Most would rather be Sysaphus.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 10:41 PM
7

What's the alternative to getting women's attention?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 10:08 PM
–

And they can properly consent on dating apps. Just because a woman is in public, doesn't mean she's consenting to being hit on.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 06:04 AM
1

the lack of success after hard work is more wounding to the ego generally. Spoken to the right person 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 01:18 AM
3

I disagree. I don't think there's too many men with irredeemable faces. Studies have shown that women have a higher variance of facial preferences, even the worst faces are attractive to some women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 12:59 AM
6

That's kinda true. If women actually were desperate though, I'm pretty sure even I could succeed in that scenario. The dating market is a market, if it's truly unbalanced heavily, values on the other side will skyrocket. I haven't seen that happen
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 12:58 AM
1

There's really not many fit thin girls who aren't also pretty. Some faces are really fucked, but they're rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 09:31 PM
61

I wish. I'm in my 30s and am in incredible shape for my age, dress well, educated, etc... women don't line up for me. There's no power flip in our 30s, women always have the power in the dating market
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 06:33 PM
40

You can go to r/datingoverthirty or r/datingoverforty and see that men don't have it any easier later in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 09:49 PM
9

The math doesn't add up. Skinny women are both in higher demand and are more rare
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 09:43 PM
–

What does a guy with an unattractive personality do then? Change it and be inauthentic?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 09:34 PM
14

If only. You can't just be a skinny guy and get a skinny girl who wants you. There's no real symmetry.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 09:33 PM
–

Just because looks has a harder low threshold doesn't make it "more important" in my eyes. Like it's incredibly important to get above like a 3 or 4/10, but after that it's probably best to focus on other stuff. I said charm, not humor. I don't think being a jester works very well. I think Henry Cavill's nerdy disposition turns a lot of women off. Adam Driver is not classically handsome, but women swoon for him. You don't have to be funny, but you'll go very far if you're smooth. It's incredibly…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 04:40 AM
–

Those newer studies contradict older studies, it's a wash at best If you're butt ugly, you won't have a chance to make your case, but that threshold is a lot lower than people around here think. The guys who get the most tail are charming and outgoing as fuck. Full stop. Even high status guys who are awkward will fail to bag girls, there's more than enough stories of YouTube celebs like Hasan falling to chat up girls. Or awkward hookup stories from handsome fucks like Christiano Ronaldo. It make…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 04:04 AM
–

Did you read the first half? You said they're the two biggest factors. The "concession" that many guys can still do okay is a nonstarter. The point is, an average guy who is charming can fuck a ton of women, not just do okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 03:35 AM
–

Touch grass. Average guys with charm and game absolutely slay. I've seen it time, and time, and time again. An awkward and shy guy can go to a party with numbers in his favor and go home with no one.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 03:31 AM
–

Looks is a broad category. There are people who say height/face/muscles are the most important. There's a lot of "disagreement" there What is the point when most arguments and debate between the genders is just everyone agreeing? I doubt even a majority of women would say looks are the most important thing. I don't think most men would say women care about it the most either. There are tons of arguments about this shit all over. Cherry picking a dozen examples of women preferring physical looks …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 03:28 AM
–

There is so much disagreement on this sub, I don't even know where to start... Authenticity: some people here absolutely swear by it, some people say it'll be the most misleading guide ever. Black pill stuff: the importance of height is heavily debated. The importance of looks: heavily debated. Some people say that models slay with no effort, others point out the high variance in female facial preference The gym and muscles: some guys say it changed the way women look at them, others say it made…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 03:11 AM
0

That's the cleverest answer ever in a debate sub. Good job 🫤
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 11:20 PM
1

What do you make of the pope himself having a wild past?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 10:21 PM
1

Take the money away and see how much she enjoys it. How the fuck does that contradict what I said? If money itself turns women on, of course taking it away can dry them up... That doesn't mean she wasn't legitimately turned on....
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 04:01 AM
2

"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac" ~ Henry Kissinger Sometimes the money itself just turns women on. Sure sometimes women pretend to be attracted to rich guys so they can get the money, but sometimes it really does grease the wheels.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 03:34 AM
4

Because biological determinism is not explicitly empowering, and feminist ideology generally throws any facts in its way.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 03:08 AM
3

When I got in much better shape, I got 1000x more attention from gay men. Women didn't seem to care that much. They often thirst for skinny ass Timothy Chalamet and K-pop idols more than they do Hemsworth. Look, I don't dispute it's better to be in shape than not, and if you're obese you're really fucking yourself over. But I think if you're in average shape, there's probably better ways to invest your time and effort if you're primarily interested in attracting women. Nothing you said is really…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 06:25 AM
3

Women love money and symbols of money. Never said otherwise. I'm just saying the gym seems to do far less than the consensus here
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 05:28 AM
4

You are 💯 certifiably insane if you think women select for physical attractiveness anywhere close to the levels men do
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 12:06 AM
2

Because men highly select for beauty. There's competitive pressure. They are competing with other women, so there is pressure to use any strategy possible to make themselves prettier.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 11:00 PM
7

The same reason bodybuilders and powerlifters do steroids. Better is not good enough, and there's competitive pressure.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 10:50 PM
3

It's a meme on gymtok for so many guys to be motivated to get in shape for women, and then they still get no attention at all when they do get in shape. I'm sure it works for some guys, but I can't imagine many. I'm in excellent shape in and it hasn't helped me out at all
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 09:14 PM
0

That's kinda true, and is a bit of a problem with what I said. Women, though, are just more attractive, naturally and they put in more effort. I still believe though, 90% of the time a guy is struggling, it's not his looks holding him back the most.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 08:47 PM
-7

Do you guys go outside?. There are lots of mid guys dating beautiful women. And there's good looking guys like Eliot Rogers who can't pull at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 07:36 PM
1

Lol, I'm definitely not a programmer. I think the job is horrible for mental and physical health, I'd never do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 09:20 PM
5

For some people, looking into any cross-cultural threads is immensely fun, but yeah, you could call it work.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 09:13 PM
4

I disagree. We can still talk about money and economics, despite the overwhelming complexities of markets and human behavior. Similarly I think we can tease out common threads of social status across different societies.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 09:07 PM
3

I mostly agree. I think that people on here are obsessed with what I call "threshold breakers". At certain thresholds, things like status, money, a handsome face, gregarious personality, etc... are by themselves enough to have women throw themselves at you, which is many guys fantasy. Yes, high status guys absolutely slay, but you generally won't reach the threshold where it will matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 09:03 PM
6

We absolutely can. There is sooooo much there. Like sooooooo much.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 09:00 PM
7

Different communities will care about different traits and jobs, though. That's absolutely true, but doesn't mean it's not real, just that it's relative to it's social and cultural context. Shamans not being a high status job anymore does not take.away from the fact that it once was.a.high status job. We aren't going to be able to ground status on anything other than the social context from which it springs.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 08:56 PM
6

Just because words like status are hard to define, doesn't mean that it's meaningless. Biologists struggle to define "life", gamers can't define a "game", and ethicists have struggled to define the word "good" for 2000 years. We can see common threads in different usages of status, and that's enough for us to investigate the concept and talk about it meaningfully. Edit: virgin-platonists in the thread downvoting the chad-wittgenstein take 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 08:53 PM
12

Hard to define, but people in the community generally holding you in higher regard. A college professor may make less than a garbage worker, but he has more status. Men with higher status are probably more likely to fraternize with those who make more than themselves, and men with low status fraternize with those who make less. It's tough to sperate the two, because the sexiness/masculinity of the job muddies it more. A good programming job is higher status and higher paying than being a firefig…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 08:34 PM
–

For me, it's the opposite of blackpill. Certain personality types are going to be the largest predictors of sexual, dating, and romantic success.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 07:35 PM
–

Oh, you're doing what the kids call "meme posting" huh? Alright, carry on I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 07:31 PM
–

Whitepill accounts for these guys fyi. I'd bet money all have fairly outgoing, risk taking, masculine personalities
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 07:30 PM
–

Just replace the words girl and boy in this post. This is unhinged illogical bs.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 07:26 PM
8

Absolutely, I've earned my cynicism with decades of experience, they shouldn't be here at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 07:22 PM
3

Marilyn Monroe would absolutely not be considered ugly today. That's insane
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 07:57 PM
12

His age? Women always go for swagger, confidence, and social dominance.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 09:50 PM
4

It's still courage. Being afraid of a soft no or a loud obnoxious one, is still just fear
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 11:55 PM
5

Aristotle says that a virtue lies between two vices, courageousness between brashness and cowardice. He doesn't advocate for extremities in behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 11:15 PM
-1

Aristotelian virtue analysis in PPD! I mostly agree with you. Many men push back against narratives of confidence by saying how scary it is approaching women, and they must not have the requisite confidence. But exercising courage can only be done in the face of fear, so the experience of the latter is no excuse, just an opportunity for greater courage. That said, some of us may be envious of the men who slay without ever having to be courageous, but I suppose that's another complaint altogether
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 11:05 PM
–

There's no novel advice anymore. Work out, groom, dress well, socialize more, do more hobbies, be yourself, be confident, be tall, be white.... 🙄🙄🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 08:35 PM
–

Yeah, probably. But I'm here giving a pro-awalt take, not to hear the same advice I've tried a hundred times over.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 08:09 PM
–

Well, it's a a lot smaller sample size, but they have similar tastes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 07:53 PM
–

Women like to push back on the AWALT stuff, but have they considered that all women swipe left on me? They're really not different at all
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 07:49 PM
1

You should go find a sub that's isn't centered around debate if people with counter experiences is so triggering to you. Edit: he calls me triggered then blocks me 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 06:27 PM
0

I gained more personal confidence through self defense and martial arts; specifically boxing and Brazilian jiu jitsu. You said this, connecting your own personal experience to red pill dogma, alleging you can sus some truth out of the latter. My personal experience says otherwise. 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 06:21 PM
1

I'm a very accomplished martial artist, and it has done absolutely nothing to help my confidence around women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 06:17 PM
2

I used to try quite a bit of red pill advice, and it frankly didn't work at all. Working out is the biggest example. Red pill says that getting big and strong will directly attract women and help your self esteem and confidence. Getting in much better shape did neither for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 06:16 PM
3

What advice would they give that's actionable though? Dressing better to attract women seems like weird advice to get from a woman. Same with I proving your career or trying to be funnier. Seems to me, women don't have any advice for guys who are struggling
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 06:12 PM
6

DC is also good demographically for men. You're choosing winners. Us in Seattle or San Francisco are playing a diff game
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 08:03 PM
-1

Yep. I know hot single moms and they still slay. Men are shallow enough that hot is more important than anything
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 04:06 AM
8

It's ridiculous, but I think it's true. Like men are better at intellectualizing the world, but I think women are better at experiencing it. I think sunsets, puppies, and the sound of rain are just deeper experiences for them
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 10:40 PM
8

I feel like I'm the only incel around who actually likes women. Their emotional eq is generally higher, they can point out all sorts of facets of personalities based off a half second of vibes, they're generally more empathetic, they can be easier to talk to about frivolous things. I think, this will sound weird, their souls have a lot more depth than men's... there's a lot more going on underneath the surface.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 08:30 PM
3

Yup. Just set your age limit higher on apps and see how many older women are easier to match with.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 11:02 PM
0

Redpillers seem not to know too. That's why you and everyone else is speaking in vague analogies and metaphors.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 05:32 PM
35

Tbf, nobody really wants to. Men would love to sit back and be wined and dined, but the norms are what they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 05:30 PM
–

Sorry, but I don't believe you. You have a doppelganger you can reference who is slim with gorgeous skin but not attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 01:44 AM
–

She absolutely implied that. She said she used to be ugly and the only way out is plastic surgery.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 12:56 AM
–

Can I ask what plastic surgery you got that made a difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 12:18 AM
–

No, it wasn't really by choice. I would have loved to have been dating regularly the past few years, even if unsuccessfully. So while I may sound okay "on paper", it isn't the case. It's why I think one of the few talking points that's rpers are right about is the large gap between stated and revealed preferences (they're not right about WHAT those are though) And that's nice to hear that flirting skills aren't attractive to you, but I'd expect that to be a fairly rare preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 12:17 AM
–

Sure, I had a four year relationship before, and sporadic dates in the past. I haven't had a date in over 3 years now. For me, I'm educated, I'm in excellent shape, tall, have hobbies, am financially secure, fairly social... I just lack the flirting skills that women seem to think is the most important thing. Hence my "white pill" flair. Plus, I'm in my mid 30s now, and it's sooo much harder to play the numbers game now.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 11:54 PM
–

Eh, I think it's both. More women are fuckable, but also dateable. I understand why women are pickier, it's just a bummer for those of us who don't get picked
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 11:32 PM
–

But men find a lot of stranger women attractive. We are preoccupied with strangers, women are just far, far, far pickier.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 10:58 PM
–

Ugly women can get a banging body and wear some make-up. They do just fine. If they're unable to lose weight, they might be toast though
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 10:56 PM
–

You must be charming 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 04:14 AM
-1

In my experience it's not the handsome, tall, in-shape guy who gets the girls; it's the most confident, outgoing, risk taking, charming one. And frankly, it's not even close
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 01:14 AM
1

I work in restaurants. I interact with a lot of couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 07:36 PM
0

I've seen many short, ugly, broke guys kill it because they have confidence, do fun stuff, and make women laugh. It's not uncommon. I know guys who are tall, have money, and are in great shape and struggle. It's absolutely personality first imo
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 07:24 PM
2

I can comprehend, I just disagree. Women are far, far more attracted to personalities than to a well shaped body. Full stop
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 05:14 PM
0

There are tons of men who can lift and hold a conversation. Women don't drop panties for just "muscles and conversation"
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 03:30 PM
1

And so if you are in the 13 percent and can’t close then bruh, It doesn't really help. There's all sorts of testimony from gym bros who find out first hand that women don't really care that much
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 04:42 AM
1

Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 12:08 AM
14

Exactly. Women are attracted to personality traits that generally come with age, so most guys in their 20s will not be what they're looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 02:19 AM
–

You pushed back that most men can be desired strongly by women because it's not the classic Chad that gets action. But changing the criteria to charm and charisma doesn't make it more men who get desire, it's still a minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 04:58 AM
–

I already agree with you that personality and charm are the number one way to attract women, I said as much. And the problem isn't that we all aren't Chad, it's that many men aren't attracting any women. I'm fine that most women don't want to fuck me, it's a huge bummer that practically none do. Yes, genuine human connection is good, I agree. But it's not sufficient, I have lots of close friends with meaningful relationships, that doesn't mean that women suddenly want to suck my dick
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:38 AM
–

and not just hot I'm pretty sure the thread we're in has "carnal desire" in the title. I think it's very reasonable that a man could meet and find 100 women "carnally desirable" and have zero of them feel the same about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:05 AM
–

I don't think that answer really works with large sample sizes. Sure, if 5 or 6 girls don't want to jump his bones, there might be compatibility issues. But if 100 don't, I think there might be another issue, especially if they make friends easily. For me, the issue is a good personality for friendship ≠ a sexually attractive personality
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 11:30 PM
–

And what's the difference between someone who has no problems making friends of both sexes, but women don't want to jump his bones?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 11:23 PM
3

Yeah, I just have a different experience from you. Being in love is like seeing the galaxy or a solar eclipse but more beautiful, it makes the news more sad, it makes pain more endurable, food taste better, and death itself seem like not a big deal. I've never been lost in a friend's eyes and felt like our souls were touching. I've never felt like I could make a friend happy, or they could make me happy. There's just so much distance between these types of relationships for me. But maybe it's ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 10:07 PM
2

Sure, that's my bias. I have a loving family and like 8ish friends that I have incredibly deep and fulfilling relationships with, and even more acquaintance/friends. I still have a deep hole in my heart, am still touch starved, and still feel unworthy of romantic/sexual love. Platonic and familial love is incredibly important, but man, it doesn't come close to filling one's soul. Maybe men just need romance much more than women?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 09:33 PM
4

Sure, but sociable guys with deep friendships are less likely to be incels than insulated isolative introverted guys with no friendships or shallow friendship. Rationally, I agree, but that's me so I have some mad bias. Otherwise, all agreed. That's rare here for me, thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 09:15 PM
6

I think it's both. I think people in general, but especially men, struggle to get and maintain deep, meaningful relationships of all sorts. But solving just the platonic side will leave men in a very bad spot. And, importantly, I think that this forum specifically should be focused on solving modern men's romantic failures. Lonewolf men can slay Social men with deep friendships can be incels Most men missing both platonic and romantic love, pressed to choose one, would choose that latter
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 09:08 PM
4

The fact that men have desire for many more women than desire him will always be worse than being desired by many that you don't desire back. I'm not sure what the solution is going forward, but it's a much bigger bummer for men
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 08:55 PM
13

I don't know if that question is relevant here. There's a few things. Falling in love can be sufficient to solve general loneliness. There are lots of couples who need no one but themselves to feel they have enough company. Some men have close friends and still have immense romantic loneliness. Focusing on the problem of general loneliness ignores these men, and threatens to send more men from generally lonely to romantically lonely. I'm in the second category. I have some incredible friends, of…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 08:46 PM
–

Okay, women's sexuality hasn't been suppressed...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:31 PM
–

Different experience than me. I always heard: sweet, kind, sensitive, thoughtful, smart, etc...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:25 PM
–

Because it's generally harder to be short than tall.... obviously it sucks to be shorter than taller. But I see short guys with baddies on dates frequently, they just have to have a charming personality
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:22 PM
–

I never said otherwise. One is much, much more important than the other for attracting women though
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:18 PM
–

In my experience they take the confident goblin
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:17 PM
–

That's not always it. Women have been socially conditioned to be ashamed of their sexuality and give pc answers. I don't think they're intentionally lying, but are pressured into this horrible way of talking
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 10:12 PM
–

Confidence is attractive, but man is it a double edged sword "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." ~ Bertrand Russell Also, it's very difficult to work on. I've spent the better part of the last decade working on my confidence, including a lot of tough introspective therapy and going to the world championships in my sport of choice.... and it did zilch for my confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 09:42 PM
–

Women historically haven't listed things like charm, confidence, and masculinity as the things they're attracted to. I can have great, enthralling conversations with people, that doesn't mean I can charm and seduce them. I'm a great conversationalist, but still struggle with women. There's a particular type of conversing that is seductive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 09:13 PM
–

But surely you could see that just by observing who was successful with women and who wasn't? My mistake was taking women at their word.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 09:01 PM
–

I wouldn't be bitter if women didn't gaslight me so much growing up. Women saying that you should be yourself, be kind, do the things you love, be in shape, etc... and everything would work out were absolutely lying. Women are attracted to charm and confidence millions of times more than kindness, and authenticity only works for a select few. So, yes, it's cool to be masculine, it works, and women by-and-large like it... but they've lied about it for so long. We need honesty in these spaces, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 08:14 PM
1

So, I've heard of something in evo-pysch that is well verified called "sexual over-perception", where males over-perceive their sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. It follows then, for me, since I perceive no women being attracted to me, that the number must be in the negatives....
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 06:52 PM
1

men's ego is not in decline Eh... I think it's less acceptable to be openly driven by it nowadays. Otherwise, your right. Divorced women aren't richer, and men should do more chores. I hope you're more right and rich women start chasing me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 01:33 AM
1

i mean are there a plethora of women of any kind for you to date? this is a weird way to reason. i have no idea how easy or difficult dating is for you so its hard to argue with this. It's difficult, so I'm skeptical of forces that would otherwise make it easy. But we'll skip the anecdotes yes i used strong/intelligent as a proxy for career I'd push back against that. I graduated from a great school, crushed entrance exams, and am in great shape. I'd say I'm intelligent and strong in the most li…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 10:24 PM
1

We were originally talking about women being accomplished and self sufficient, not strong or intelligent. I agree that men generally have problems with women being stronger, and to an extent more intelligent. I don't think that issue transfers to career success, except in the reverse. Women don't like men who are less successful than than, but I don't think most men mind women being more successful. If that were true, again, there'd be a plethora of successful women for me to date, and that does…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 08:07 PM
0

Sure I do. That's obvious. But if this specific type of socialization was widespread, I think we'd see an excess of accomplished women in the dating market. We don't see that, so (modus tollens), I don't think this type of gendered socialization is widespread.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 07:15 PM
1

I don't think it is widespread, otherwise there'd be a surplus of great women who are self sufficient and accomplished in the dating market. Sure, some men might be too insecure for these women, but if it was anything more, I should be able to find a beautiful woman who is also rich quite easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 12:14 AM
–

You must have a handsome face. I'm in great shape and tall and don't get matches.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 08:03 PM
12

It's crazy to hear this. I know that most women won't swipe on me, but if I heard that a woman saw my profile and immediately felt hopeless and uninstalled, that's even more demoralizing!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 08:02 PM
6

I'm 6'1" with good posture and it doesn't make a difference 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 08:01 PM
2

While doing those things therapy sessions, he pretended like it wasn't a real therapy session because doctor patient relationships have clear ethical guidelines he wanted to escape. Andrew Tate is ready worse, sure, but I funny find Dr. K that helpful in these spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 12:33 AM
7

Dr. K has some huge blind spots, advocating for ayurvedic medicine and other alternative medicines. He engaged in 'therapy' live online with individuals, which is extremely unethical imo. His trained 'coaches' seem to be a poor replacement for proper therapists. I think Dr. K is right to recognize some of the problems in online gamer spaces, but his solutions are not three right stuff, and I'm concerned about his business model being predatory and people buying into a cult of personality around …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 11:38 PM
1

Because many of these women are on the left. They'll decry consumerism and classism in one breath, and then use those as the most important factor in choosing a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 09:25 PM
–

Red pill is in poor shape if Pearl is the poster-girl for redpill. She has had horrible performances on big shows, her Twitter is a mess of horrible takes, and she treats her staff poorly. She comes across as a grifter to anyone with a scent for it. Pearl's inability to find a man surely should be surprising to no one, she is not nearly pretty enough to shake off all those red flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 12:18 AM
14

In my 30s and still waiting 🫤
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 05:11 AM
52

Yeah, in order to enjoy the chase, you need some level of success. Even highly competitive people don't enjoy losing every game.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 01:52 AM
5

The thing is, I take it as a priori that she's not interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 11:16 PM
4

This, this, and this. The more you consider the morality of your actions (will I make her uncomfortable? Am I setting a bad precedent? Will she be less likely to go out fearing unwanted flirting), the less attractive you are. Women say they want to be made to feel beautiful, but no one experiences a woman's beauty more than the man who is blinded and melted by it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 04:07 AM
4

They have, without good results, but they try for me. 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 11:22 PM
2

Eh, my face is mid but I'm in very good shape, tall, and have hair. 😅. And the city itself skews heavily male, not just the apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 11:19 PM
7

Maybe it does sound like that, but these guys are naturals and would never be able to categorize things like push-pull.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 09:04 PM
2

For me, rough. I'm a bit shy irl, and the dating apps are skewed very heavily male in my city
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 08:56 PM
36

I have phenomenal guy friends. I'm not lonely, but rarely get laid or get dates. They give me the advice I probably need: go out and meet more women, flirt more, get confident, etc... They'll give me their own escalation tips and all that. Back in the day, when I had worse friends, I'd never open up, but it's a lot less shameful to be incelly when your friends are super cool
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 08:44 PM
7

Ummm, yes. I'm mid 30s, money to spare, hair on head, in good shape, tall, etc... Women, even in their 20s, are very particular with the personalities they're attracted to. If you're confident, non-inhibited, ambitious, etc.. you should be fine. Otherwise, even if you're in the top percentile of everything, you're fucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 08:00 PM
2

I know it's anecdote after anecdote. I just got tired of the exchange....
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 06:58 PM
0

That's why I'm on the ubi train, but this is the wrong sub for that. 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 01:05 AM
2

Selecting just plumbers to compare against all TBH's is strange. TBH's out earn high school graduates by up to 40 % in most states, not if you want to spend 50 hours a week crouching under sinks, go ahead.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 12:13 AM
11

That's true. I don't see women's job preferences changing, engineering of all sorts will probably continue to be mostly held by men and is probably men's best bet for financial security and success.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 11:59 PM
16

"According to the CDC, blue-collar workers have the highest number of injuries while at work, with 7.4 million workers injured. Blue-collar workers are also 63% more likely to be injured on the job than white-collar workers. In addition, blue-collar jobs have more fatal injuries than white-collar jobs." There's a reason why blue collar workers crush fast food and beers after work. It's more physically demanding and there is less time and energy to cook proper meals. If you keep up a ppl split at…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 11:57 PM
15

More by percent or number? And living at home can be for a number of reasons, the housing market continues to be fucked. Most blue collar laborers I know have knee and back problems decades before their white collar counterparts, and that's in addition to getting paid less on average. But sure, elevate yourself above the few underemployed college graduates you can anecdotally name.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 11:45 PM
5

Non-employed in the field of study is a dumb distinction. Many people get a job just because they have any BA, not a specific one, and the ROI should reflect that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 11:41 PM
7

You might not want a condo, but condo prices affect house prices.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 11:28 PM
1

Sure, history majors working at hedge funds and philosophy majors at law firms count.... why shouldn't they?!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 11:17 PM
8

Men are still out earning women, but there's caveats. Men work more hours, work more physically demanding jobs, and don't take off as much time to be a parent. And despite these addendums, women are massively closing the gap. Closing the gap is all that needs to happen for hypergamous preferences to skew the dating market massively. Whereas in the past, 80% of women might be out earned by the average man, now it's closer to 55 or 60% and that leads to big supply and demand issues. And the trends…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 11:09 PM
10

https://red.msudenver.edu/2019/oh-the-humanities-whats-the-roi/#:~:text=Dorfman%20estimated%20a%20lifetime%20return,beyond%20high%20school%20diploma%20earners. This says between 300-700% average roi. But there are tons and tons more sources than that one. It's pretty well studied and my Google page was littered with results. While the anecdote of a gender studies degree working at Starbucks draws clicks, it's not back up by studies.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 11:06 PM
58

You're underplaying educational achievement of women. Even the 'bad' humanities degrees lead to higher pay. And the educational gap is worsening. College education continues to be one of the best ways to increase your income and wealth, even taking into account student debt and lost time not working. Now this is fine in a vacuum, but it seems that women prefer that men have higher paying or higher status jobs than they do. That preference combined with these trends is worrying.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 10:59 PM
2

If you want to get philosophical, the objection is Kantian. People wanted to be treated not as a means to an end, but just an an end itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 04:07 AM
3

Lol, I'm not a zoomer.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 12:48 AM
1

To which part?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 11:34 PM
9

Men don't really slut shame. It's usually women who slut shame because it reduces the value of sex socially. I love sluts, I think most men do, and our biggest complaint is that there aren't enough of them, and the ones out their aren't as slutty as they could be.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 11:07 PM
2

When did I say they're interchangeable? I've been in love and know what a women being special to me feels like. Guess what? Those relationships didn't become marriage. Most of them because she didn't want them to become marriage. It is what it is, but it's not analogous to "any guy as roommate for life". There's a lot of vetting and choosiness before I fall in love
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 04:17 AM
3

Attractiveness, like most things these days, is on a spectrum
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 10:16 PM
6

They're with women they like. In my experience, men have dozens of women they find marriage material, and it's the women who allow that to happen or not. Men do the chasing, women do the selecting.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 10:14 PM
18

Most of the guy I know who've paired up either stumbled into it, or she selected him. A guy being able to attract the women he wants is a rarity in my experience
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 10:07 PM
0

Marx couldn't get Hegel, sure, but resuscitating reason in today's age is a difficult one. Philosophy has taken some big turns, the analytic turn, Nietzschean power analysis, and the dreaded postmodern analysis.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 06:18 PM
4

This is the biggest issue. Many religions preach that you can simply choose to believe in something, but we are compelled to believe that which makes sense, which we have little control over
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 06:11 PM
2

I wish that all the hot women over 40 were chasing my dick. It simply doesn't happen, there's no over 40 market value change for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 05:16 PM
–

I don't think that would work. I think men desire being wanted by women more than actually having sex. Maybe it's just my experience, but I enjoy a smile and flirt from a beautiful woman more than having sex with someone I scarcely attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 10:21 PM
–

As a man who's bitter about not getting laid.... my political opinions lie among center-left neoliberal lines. To have my emotions cloud my ability to reason rationally about political issues would be an astronomical defeat to my ego. While it's unfortunate that supporting women's rights and causes does not get them wet, and even worse, women often reward misogyny with sex, that CANNOT inform my ethical views.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 09:52 PM
6

The evo-psych stuff is cringe, sure. But I think that aggressive men are more likely to pursue women, to do dangerous activities, to emotionally excite women, to try and assert dominance over other men, etc... It's really just never been my experience that aggressive men don't get tons of tail
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 06:13 AM
1

None of them? Are there no other examples you can think of where powerful ideas or ways of socializing can override biological tendencies?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 06:00 AM
2

Eh, we temper quite a bit of our inbuilt evo-psych programing when it's beneficial to ourselves or society. We aren't slaves to our biology, abstinent priests show the primacy of the meme over the gene.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 05:24 AM
3

Goalposts are already moving...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 05:09 AM
1

Quite a few. Many women prefer guys like Adam Driver over more classically handsome men
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 04:51 AM
-1

Or he's blaming women for not being open about what makes them attractive and engaging honestly with themselves and others
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 04:50 AM
11

If women wanted less masculine aggression, they should stop rewarding it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 04:41 AM
6

Absolutely. Doesn't matter if you're educated, caring, athletic, handsome, etc... if you're shy you might as well be a inanimate object
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 03:48 AM
6

Not even. I'm very fit and get lapped by the confident guys out there. You can also go to r/noplatesnodates and see the gymcels who struggle.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 03:01 AM
2

He's very self conscious and insecure. If I can sense that, I guarantee women can.... and they absolutely dry up like the Sahara at the first scent of insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 12:51 AM
4

He's not hilarious, but he's definitely funnier than average. I don't watch him really, or like him at all, so please don't make me say anything nice about him again.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 12:08 AM
3

I think he's too self-conscious to be a true himbo. Himbos barely care, much less acknowledge, what others think about them... Hasan seems obsessed about what others say about him and how popular he currently is.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 10:59 PM
6

Lol, so true. Though he's got the money, social status, handsome face, and sense of humor to overcome that. But I'm positive his personality makes it waaaaay more difficult for himself than it should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 10:42 PM
29

Some men just don't have attractive personalities. I interact with women all the time: I'm on multiple co-ed sports teams, I go to gym, go to bars, I wait tables, have multiple friend groups. I haven't had a date in years. In my experience women like himbo personalities: guys who aren't too introspective, don't consider others when interacting with them, overly confident, narcissism, don't harbour doubts or reservations...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 10:04 PM
–

It can be tough. There's that famous okcupid graph showing how men rate women and vice versa. But more academically, there's tons of research into these things. I listen to Chris Williamson's podcast too often, and have heard many psychologists and anthropologists comment on these things. And then, there's strong anecdotal experience. I've seen many women say that guys like Jason Mamoa and Brad Pitt aren't attractive while there's no men saying Margot Robbie and Charlize Theron aren't attractive…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 11:06 PM
5

How can you compare men and women's standards without attempting to quantify it? Of course men don't want to date unattractive women, just as women don't want to date unattractive men. But the amount of women that men find attractive is orders of magnitude higher than the amount of men that women find attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 10:55 PM
–

Eh, I go out a decent amount, and have irl friends, and that's not my experience at all. Good for you tho 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 05:59 AM
15

If your self-esteem is rock-bottom, the best way to boost it is by getting good at things, People say this but I've never found it to be the case. I have very low self esteem despite being very good at some things. I went to the world championships for a martial arts, academically excelled, and have always been very proficient at visual arts. I've always suffered from low self esteem, and I don't think another skill would help
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 05:25 AM
1

It absolutely is a boast. I'm older than you and never had women asking me for hookups.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 05:21 AM
1

Umm, no? I seem to be doing great with everything else i'd like in life without too much of those. And I wouldn't turn down a woman I had personal and physical chemistry if she lacked these
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/24 03:29 PM
1

Sure, but tall isn't the cheat code some guys around here pretend. Imo, it's guys who aren't tall and struggle and want to blame it on the one thing they can't change.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 06:47 PM
1

As a tall guy.... I wish
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 05:40 PM
8

Absolutely not. Never seen anything so wrong here. The bar is super high for men's personalities: confident ambitious charismatic high self esteem They're asking for the moon honestly
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 04:19 AM
2

Oh, you're pulling one of those. "If you want to having dating success, I'll point out some patterns of attraction in women that will allegedly help you out, but I'm not saying you should actually do these things." 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 02:50 AM
1

Doesn't red pill say women are attracted to status, power, money, and an alpha/leader like confidence? As a description, that's super lame and incomplete, but as a prescription, it gives a lot, as most of these things can be worked on and seems to help a few people, no? Did I miss something big?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 02:43 AM
2

I find red pill more prescriptive than descriptive, and the more complicated a theory of attraction, the harder it is to give actionable advice to those who aren't attracting anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 02:04 AM
4

Nope, not at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:16 AM
35

I haven't seen the wall be a real thing. The percentage of attractive women above 36 plummets, but the ones who are that old who are still attractive still retain most of their power in sexual and dating markets.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:13 AM
–

The data says they mostly are.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 02:24 AM
3

Empirically, that's probably true. I push against the authenticity thing for a few reasons I don't the authentic self is a real thing The idea of the authentic self can stop people from trying things they don't think they'll like The authentic self idea may keep us identifying with ideas, emotions, or memories that we need to move on from I think there is so much potential in most humans: awesome ways for us to grow, love, self express, and be in the world. I think telling the guys who are strug…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 09:39 PM
3

And what steps should he take from where he is now to attracting a mate? I don't think being a pseudo alpha gym rat who practices third rate stoicism works. That's dumb as fuck. But telling this guy "if only you were more authentic you'd be drowning in pussy" is absolutely crazy. In my opinion this guy needs to do things that he doesn't want to do and are inauthentic. He needs to go to dancing/cooking/improv classes and pretend to be interested in them. He probably has to dress better, take an i…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 09:21 PM
3

Because he also wants love, sex, companionship, romance, and a life partner. The suggestion I'm responding to is that the path to finding that someone is by leaning into your inner truth, best self, and authentic self-expression. I maintain that we often do things we really would rather not do in order to meet other higher orders desires. Just that someone might workout even though they don't like working out, someone else might be doing tons of things they wouldn't otherwise like to attract a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 09:07 PM
5

I think engaging in a community can feel meaningful. If he's posting his fanfiction, debating different theories in forums, and doing whatever else... that can create a feeling of meaningfulness, no? It's not going to have the same amount of irl interactions as community service in a church, but it's probably just as productive. The only difference is the latter gets more social status, allows you to build connections with people in your area, and directly allows you to interact with women. I th…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 08:15 PM
8

The "best possible version of yourself" sounds so weird to me. Like, who's to say if the Naruto fan would be happier if he spent time writing fanfiction and rubbing it out to rule34 of his show rather than hit the gym and cosplay? I think we need to tell people its okay to go against yourself, be a little inauthentic, do things you don't want to, etc... to be more attractive. Like, being totally inauthentic is bad, but lots of guys are living their best lives, and its not attractive at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 08:01 PM
21

Yes, and I absolutely saw short term success. Pretending to have a high opinion of yourself, not caring about offending people, and hastily sexualizing women has gotten me women's attention and gotten me laid. It's not something I think I could have the energy to keep up long term, but it's okay if you really want one night stands. It's exhausting for me, but it kinda works
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:34 AM
3

I've always been fit, and am now very fit and I don't get dates or get laid. Mental health, confidence, social skills, and self esteem seem way more important imo
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 03:50 AM
–

It's involuntary singledom that'd the problem
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 03:02 AM
3

Absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 06:56 PM
6

Just because women have shitty double standards, it doesn't excuse it when men have shitty double standards as well If a man isn't insecure about his lack of experience or entranced in gender roles from centuries ago, he should be fine with an experienced woman, full stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 06:33 PM
4

I mean.... a lot. Look at the degeneracy of those who are very rich and famous. People just want to get fucked up and have fun
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:07 AM
1

Then amend the "live the life you want" maxim. Lots of people will recommend living a masculine and attractive life, but often that looks incredibly different than the life we truly want.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 10:43 PM
3

'singles wards' sounds ridiculous, but okay, its an answer
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 09:35 PM
2

The life most men want to live isn't very attractive. The bachelor who lives in his mom's basement, plays videogames, and smokes weed all day is living his best life, but he's not getting any tail.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 09:07 PM
6

What would you advise those who "touch grass" and still struggle do? Of course being perpetually online is bad for dating, but it's not a necessary condition for sucking at dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 09:02 PM
5

I think the problem is that women (and men) are excluding people they're attracted to. "He's cute but I don't want to be seen in public with him.". "I find him charming, but my parents wouldn't approve" Society has set up partners as social markers and people will judge others for having a poor/fat/whatever partner. It's not until we get rid of these stigmas that more people will be able to date who they're really attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 10:19 PM
–

Getting laid, dates, or just fostering attraction. I think the study looked at sexual success, but I can't recall it exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 11:00 PM
–

Its probably mostly self esteem and anxiety. I'm tall, in-shape, educated, have hobbies, good social skills, etc...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 10:58 PM
–

resentment when saying misogynistic men do better IS misogyny I don't think so. I think people can feel resentment without hating the other side. I don't think the gap between women's stated and revealed preferences is sinister, it's just a bummer for those who take women at their word. I think the world would be a better place with women in more positions in power. I read Simone de Beauvoir and Hannah Arendt. I'm clearly not a misogynist, but that fact doesn't get women wet, full stop. Similarl…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 10:46 PM
–

I don't think this is the case. I'll reply with anecdote to your anecdote I have multiple women friends. I'm still friends with ex girlfriends. I work with a lot of women coworkers and have great relationships with them. I voted for Hilary. I love women. However, I don't get dates and don't get laid. There's just no connection. Moreover, studies point to misogynistic men doing better with women than more egalitarian and feminist men
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 10:30 PM
3

I don't think so. I think attraction is a bit too ineffable. There are guys who are out of shape, reclusive, and illiterate who slay. We're told to try harder, to self improve, but ironically trying harder is often very unattractive. I think some of us just need to accept the inevitability of very steep odds
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 11:40 PM
7

I lift, do cardio, enjoy some poetry, I write, enjoy nature, go on adventures. Some of us are just unattractive 🫤
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 11:08 PM
1

You know the t levels of a high number of friends?!?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 07:06 AM
-1

Lol, now you're calling me and others deplorable? Okay 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 05:04 AM
1

I doubt it. Tons of men would date these OF girls. Otherwise it'd be an easy market for me to clean up
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 04:43 AM
–

It's basic game theory. Women are incentivized to slut shame because sluts lower the value of sex on the open market. Men slut shaming isn't rational, it's generally based on envy because most men would be sluts if they could
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:34 PM
1

I don't think it's the most important thing. As long as a man reaches a looks 'threshold' I think that other things become much, much more important. Ladies would much rather date a 6 with a lot of confidence than a 9 without much confidence, and I don't think it's even close.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:20 PM
3

Of course there are. But stuff like blackpill will say that physical attraction is far and away the most important thing, and the amount of uggos I've seen out there doing well is not commensurate with that line of thinking. Of course there is "some" truth in all the pills, even blackpill is predictive at the extremes. But there is so little predictive power among the vast majority of cases that it's easy enough to discard.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:10 PM
1

No, explain.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:03 PM
4

Personally. I wait tables so I see lots of dates and lots of couples. Can't help but size them all up. There are guys who are like 4'8" and meek as hell but have a baddie. I'm still trying to learn all the why's and how's, but it's a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 08:02 PM
9

My opinion could change if I started seeing that evidence out in the world. If I saw less ugly men coupled up, I'd be more blackpilled. If I saw less "beta" men with women, I'd be more redpilled. If lifting weights got me attention from women, I'd be more redpilled. The evidence all speaks for itself imo
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 07:50 PM
2

If redpillers were as alpha as they say, they wouldn't feel the need to strawman bluepillers all the time. Seriously, Mark Manson and Dr. Robert Glover put out some phenomenal bluepill material and y'all pretend like it's just grandmas advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 08:17 PM
–

idk. helps to be hot. Of course people will disregard after you say this. 🫤. There are a lot of men here who put a lot effort into getting laid and come up empty handed.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 08:15 PM
8

People will say doing ANYTHING solely to get pussy is cringe, but that doesn't leave much room for those who don't get it
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 12:18 AM
3

The red pill doesn't say just have hobbies, it says do hobbies that will make you more marketable (read as useful skill or masculine) or allow one to meet more women. Blue pill will say do the ones that you're most authentically drawn to and that will allow you to feel more conrident whenever you do interact with women
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 11:57 PM
–

Yes! We need to create environments that don't make us feel shameful for either giving or receiving sexual/romantic escalation in ways that deviate from established moral norms. 💯. There are so many people who feel ashamed of their own sexuality, and it starts with childhood rearing In almost all areas some kids need to have their freedom reeled in, and others need to be encouraged to be more free.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 09:40 PM
–

Children. Not adults. We give those lesson stories to CHILDREN. Every analysis of literature and narratives knows that we do not outgrow stories when we get older and many of the lessons we learn from stories in our youth carry forward to adulthood And it's absolutely the responsibility of parents to raise children that will reproduce. That should be obvious if you have ANY understanding of evolution
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 09:23 PM
–

First of all, you’re not nice if you expect a reward for it, There is always an implicit award for being nice/good. It's why Plato pondered about what men would do with a ring of invisibility. It's why the question "would you rather beat up a baby or have everyone think you beat up a baby?" is such a tough question. Why wouldn't men believe what the stories in media, we believe them when they tell us other lessons? What wouldn't we believe our mothers, they want grandchildren? Why wouldn't we be…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 09:08 PM
2

Men almost always notice though. If a moderately attractive woman is driving next to him on the freeway or is five spots ahead of him at chipotle, a guy will notice. And men will almost always be open to an interaction with a pretty lady. I mean, it's projection sure, but we all want to be wanted the way we feel want.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 06:40 AM
7

I don't disagree that hacks won't win women over by themselves. But red pill understands that marketing yourself is super key, their strategies are all about social signaling. It's all about signaling ambition, power, discipline, confidence, etc... in a competitive market place, if you're not over-marketing yourself, you're playing from behind. Many guys do have a social sphere and don't succeed. This sub over represents the terminally online, but people I know don't do well with women and have …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 09:46 PM
13

A lot of them do and have needed the cheat codes. There are tons of behaviors, social rules, and ways of expressing and marketing ourselves that are never explicitly stated. The fake it till you make it maxim is an example. Many guys learn on adolescence that feigning confidence really helps with women and goes against many of the other social norms they've learned. Feigning confidence is horrible in certain situations and amazing in others. Many guys would have gotten nowhere if they didn't lea…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 09:19 PM
–

My point is that they're not. OP stated that it's entitled to have standards that you yourself don't meet. My point is that standards and preferences differ quite a bit between the genders, so his whole framing of entitlement is way off.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 11:06 PM
7

Two main things What women talk about what they're attracted to What men say is effective in attracting women Women are really attracted to things like confidence and ambition men are more attracted to physical beauty. The mismatching in attractive-styles means you cannot look for your "equal" because they're attracted to different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 09:09 PM
5

You could if you wanted. You can leverage assets for cash in multiple ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 08:51 PM
10

Are you able to consistently meet ALL the standards that you seek in a partner right now? This is the big problem. Men and women have different standards. If a average looking but thin man is looking only for a average looking but thin woman, he has to be offering a lot more. There's no equality on both sides of this equation.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 08:50 PM
33

If you're worrying about your "large inheritance", you've probably got enough money to avoid dating single moms.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 08:42 PM
–

Absolutely. Normal guys do get into relationships without too much difficulty. Too much anxiety, depression, introversion, neuroticism, neurodivergence, lack of interaction with women, etc... can all make it incredibly difficult. I get this a lot. I'm tall, white, in shape, educated, social, etc... so people get very confused why I struggle so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 08:00 PM
–

It matters because it affects smv's of the genders and the marketplace
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 05:45 AM
–

Being 6'2" doesn't mean shit. Better to be a confident 5'6" guy than a meek 6'2" one. That said, I think you're predestined to be confident or not, so it doesn't really matter
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 11:27 PM
–

Very liberal city. Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 08:50 PM
19

Men can have a lot of friends and bourgeoning social life and still not attract women. Source: that's me
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 03:33 AM
1

Bars, co-ed sports, and expanding my social circle through women friends/coworkers. I know all interaction isn't equal to sex, but I can tell from tone and body language what's going on. In my experience, height/race/fitness and pretty low down on the list of what women respond to.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 11:00 PM
1

I mean, 2 is patently false. I go after older women all the time 3 is tough to prove, but I don't think it's true. I see guys interact with women, they often do it a lot more easily than me. And it's not the chiseled jaw, 6'4", wide-ass shoulder guys who do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 10:47 PM
1

I strongly disagree. I'm tall, white, in pretty decent shape... It's not easy. I've got friends who are ethnic and/or in much worse shape, and they slay compared to me
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 10:19 PM
–

For me, the "very basics" is our motivations for creating good habits. I don't know what could be more basic than that. If men need to self improve more and stop playing videogames all day, they need a reason to do that. Most people don't go to the gym at all, it's hyperbole to call that "catastrophic problems with basic motivations". If a guy isn't interested in leaning a musical instrument for its own sake, dangle the idea of beautiful women in front of him. Maybe he'll learn to love it later,…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 12:07 AM
–

Who exactly is saying this kind of thig? It really flies in the face of human nature and history. I hear it from men and women all the time. They say if you're going out, you should primarily be interested in whatever event it is, not just out to meet women. I think they say this because of the men who have no social skills and are obviously just hitting on women and not even pretending to be interested in anything else. What I don't think they understand is that without this primary motivation,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 11:51 PM
–

How many men do you all know, of all adult ages, whose lives revolve around watching sports, playing videogames, and inhaling shitty food? When a good deal of the prevailing advice is "be authentic", "do the things you love", "don't change who you are for women"... Of course men do that. Alternatively when they go out to meet women, they're told "you shouldn't be out here for women, but because you want to for its own sake". When they go to the gym "do it for yourself, not to be attractive to wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 11:14 PM
–

Blackpillers disagree with redpill and they're not blue
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 09:41 PM
–

I think blue pillers are usually also focused on authenticity, therapy, and social/communicative skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 09:31 PM
1

Lol, just know that us emphatic Biden supporters do exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 12:54 AM
0

Lol, I consider Biden the best president since Eisenhower so we're just gonna have to disagree bud.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 12:39 AM
10

Terrible? I mean, he got a peace deal between Egypt and Israel. He created the dept of energy and dept of education. He didn't get us into any new wars. I'd say he was better than Reagan, W, and Trump in the last half century.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 12:31 AM
–

It is paramount, but building self worth can be incredibly hard. Personally, I've been working on it for years and still have incredibly low self esteem, and that's in spite of being very good at some things. And while guys shouldn't value getting dates above all else, I think for a large portion of men, women are by far the biggest motivation.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 07:00 AM
–

Your main point I agree with. Don't be desperate, or atleast don't act desperate. Otherwise, I don't really like the hobby advice. It purports to do some stuff but doesn't in my opinion. Make one less desperate for physical and romantic affection Give confidence. I find that confidence is skill specific. It can lead to more socialization, give you other skills, make you money, and make you more masculine... But only if you pick the right one. Authenticity isn't the right guide when it comes to c…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:52 AM
–

"present yourself in a way others find palatable" I think this is my issue. You have to market yourself. And marketing yourself is far and away the most important thing. Men aren't told that in adolescence and I think they get bitter about that fact later.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:32 AM
–

Kinda, your purplepilled so maybe you'll agree. But advice like find hobbies you enjoy should be, "find masculine hobbies you enjoy". Express your emotions should be "express them in socially acceptable ways for men". Be yourself is "be a masculine version of yourself". Unfortunately, I think that women are so attracted to masculinity and are the buyers in the market, that men are game theoried into the masculine
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:29 AM
–

I didn't study and I did very well in school... 🤷‍♂️ And it's not about doing nothing or something. Doing the things you want and becoming your best self won't get you shit unless you get very lucky finding a woman with niche tastes, or your authentic tendencies are hyper masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:18 AM
–

The biggest complaint that men have is they've been gaslit their whole life and have spent significant time, emotional energy, and resources barking up the wrong tree. The: be yourself, be emotionally open, do what you like most... And everything will work out romantically... is straight hogwash.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 05:43 AM
–

Why strawman the other side? So boring...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 10:48 AM
–

I mean, it kinda is easier. Blue pill says you need to work on your deepest traumas and insecurities to be your best authentic self. Red pill says that working out and feigning confidence will result in enough signaled masculinity that you don't need to address your deepest problems
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 02:54 AM
–

Online dating is rough for all guys. I'm tall, white, in decent shape, and don't get shit for matches. If you're a guy you need a really handsome face, some social signalling, and good photos. Racial bias is there, but it's not much.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 06:36 AM
1

https://www.stlouisfed.org/on-the-economy/2022/may/single-mothers-slim-financial-cushions
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 08:11 PM
–

Yup. A little neuroticism will dry up women quickly. I've seen poor, short, bald, and even fat guys do well. But neurotic personalities will ruin things
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 07:23 AM
–

The solution is a cultural transformation. If people, both men and women, stopped selecting for the things that don't actually make them happy like high social status or being pretty, we'd be much better off. The stats are in, having a rich or hot partner won't make you happier, but we can't seem to change our selective preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:50 PM
–

This is very true. I have quite a few female friends and coworkers. If my cat is missing, my car is having problems, or just having a bad day, there is no shortage of empathy. If I tell them I'm having problems getting dates, it's nothing but apathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 08:10 AM
2

Sure, I thought of the Tesla counterexample literally as I was typing my earlier comment. I agree with a lot of what you say, but I don't think those are arguments against what I'm saying, just against a man being too self aware about it or letting women know his true motivations.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 05:22 PM
1

Personal experiences, some sociological data, and a bit of armchair psychologizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 03:35 PM
6

Single men just don't take care of themselves as much. I know that single men are usually much less likely to do annual check ups at the doctor or go to get lingering issues checked out.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 01:39 AM
7

"Women who stay single and don’t have kids, on the other hand, have more wealth than all other never-married groups." I wish I had time to look up more sources, but there's a taste from Time
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 09:56 PM
10

I specifically was talking about middle and late aged men and women, those who are more resigned to singledom (I don't have the stats on me 😔). Men seems to need the dangling carrot of a woman or family to fuel their ambitions and careers, while women will do it more for its own sake. Look, I'm fine with men doing nothing productive and just chilling after they've written off women. I just think they would be happier and more productive if they had them around. Hence they need them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 09:53 PM
9

I definitely think they do Middle and late aged single men are significantly outearned by their female counterparts. Single men die significantly earlier than married men and than their single woman counterparts. If there isn't a woman around, men just don't have as much purpose. Like Chappelle said "if a guy could get laid living in a cardboard box, he'd never buy a house"
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 09:26 PM
–

I disagree. If someone loves the 90% authentic version of me, that's pretty cool. I'd rather deal with that 10% gap in our souls truly meeting instead of going the rest of my life without cuddles
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 07:22 AM
–

Most lonely people would sacrifice a portion of their authenticity for love... Or even just attraction, company, and sex. Sure, we shouldn't go entirely against our nature, but what if there is a big payoff for only going slightly against our nature?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 05:09 AM
–

Growers instead of showers
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:36 AM
–

It's terrible because you don't see the similarities? How is not being able to play a game of soccer because it's hard to find people to play with not a similar frustration to not finding someone to bang? The ego is more involved in the latter, but it's not a fundamentally different frustration. The percentage of people who are "repulsive" is miniscule compared to the large segment not having sex. And again, why would they give it up? People are nihilistic and don't have a ton of desires these d…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 06:02 AM
–

Why would anyone want to get rid of the desires that get them the most joy? Sex is awesome, even if it comes once every few years Analogy: I play sports, but often can't play because it's hard to organize games, am dealing with injuries, or lack the free time. I wouldn't want to get rid of my desire to compete just because it's frustrating when it doesn't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 04:15 AM
–

Based on myself: Shyness Lack of ambition Passivity Lack of stoicism Indecisiveness
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 03:10 AM
–

I have... but what's your implication? Sure, some guys here who lament about dating/sex/romantic woes are elevating the lacking to represent the deeper lacking they have in their lives. But there are also people who have lived adventurous lives, are well educated, who take care of themselves spiritually, emotionally, and physically... And they still are having issues in this new dating world. Sure easy access to sex and romance isn't the panacea that many guys think it is but they should experie…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 01:25 AM
–

A while, but I like it here. I've got a strong set of friends and family that I'm very close to. Moving to have more dating success really rubs me the wrong; if others can do alright here, I should be able to as well
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 01:14 AM
–

Seattle area.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 01:06 AM
–

Well, you did say way easier. It has been way harder for me. I can't really get hinge to work for me and I haven't benefited from women having higher standards. To me it feels like they'd rather go it alone instead of choose the best from the rest. I'm in way better shape than most guys in their 30s, tall, take care of myself, live to do fun stuff, financially stable.... I guess we just live in different worlds 🫤
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 11:49 PM
–

Ummm, no. Atleast in my experience it's the opposite It's way easier to meet single women in your 20s. People party more, have more free time, everyone is in school. It's just way way easier to meet people than in your 30s. Women have much higher standards in their 30s. They've had many unsuccessful dates and relationships and will filter out a lot more men than they would in their 20s. Moreover, this is a very toxic bit of advice for two reasons Men in their 20s will feel like they can wait and…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 11:11 PM
–

I'm frugal too, so I get it. But yeah, wearing well fitted clothes and outfits that work together. Regular trips to the barber. Nice boots/shoes. The grass is always greener. I'm in good shape and 6'1", and the apps don't treat me well. I tend to think they would with more money or a better face, but you never really know. Good luck out there man 🤞
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 08:44 PM
–

That's irrelevant, of course women are going to choose who they want. All I'm asking is that women are honest about what they're attracted to so that men aren't lead astray and become embittered. "Be a better person" is garbage dating advice, full stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 08:27 PM
–

If I were you I'd flex my wealth more. Better to get a gold digger whose company you like rather than be alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 08:22 PM
–

This line of thinking needs to go away. "Better" people aren't the most desirable. It's the ones with the most social status, best faces, most confident, etc... If I'm giving 30% of my income to charity, that isn't going to matter at all for getting laid, full stop
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 07:54 PM
–

There's two things I think: 1. Virtue signaling. It's a wholesome thing to say 2. They like it when someone they are already attracted to displays intelligence. If Chris Hemsworth got passionate about C++, they would genuinely be attracted by it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 07:51 PM
–

What's your explanation for rising barometers of people living romantically and sexually unfilling lives, especially men? Also, when men want to vent about difficulties in their dating lives, do you think your response here is the proper one?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 05:56 AM
–

The problem is that good personalities and attractive ones don't overlap as much as we'd like. The overly confident man who doesn't care about making women uncomfortable will outperform an empathetic man who doesn't want to disturb others.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/23 11:58 PM
–

I don't disagree with that claim. But I have a great social life and close friends that I see regularly and I have a shit romantic life
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:51 PM
–

There are tons of men who have blossoming social lives and no romantic life...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:36 PM
–

That's all.true. but at a certain point, businesses should be looking for undermarketed employees and I think women should be too. There are buyers and sellers in the market
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 02:34 AM
–

Self marketing has moral implications, though, no? Even just in job interviews, there are soooo many layers of bullshit, it has tons of detrimental effects on the economy, our mental health, the job market, etc... The best jobs are taken by people who have the patience and aptitude for job hunting and interviews, and not the people who are best suited for the jobs themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 10:13 PM
2

No. I'm in much better shape and have no kids. My hairline crept back a little bit, but it's still much better than most guys my age
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 09:10 PM
39

Dating was 100 times easier for me in my 20s. A larger percentage of people are single. It's easier to meet people and socialize because everyone is still partying and don't have responsibilities or careers. A much larger percentage of the women are attractive. It was so, so much easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 08:21 AM
5

I don't disagree with your red pill characterization if poor mental health. But working out and having proper hormones doesn't do much for many people. I'm in incredible shape and struggle with my mental health every day. And it's not "inferior genetics", that's some bs from those who are afraid of being inferior themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 05:57 AM
7

Different therapies have different success rates. Something like CBT is sometimes very effective. Some therapists are really good at their job, some aren't... Red pill isn't going to give incremental steps to help the socially anxious except "fake it till you make it", which imo just creates another mask
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 05:09 AM
15

Atleast the blue pill tells men to work on their mental health and social skills. Red pill says just stuff it.all down, be stoic, and fake it till you make it. No amount of classic "working on yourself", gym, dressing better, haircuts, skincare, etc...will overcome shyness, social anxiety, depression, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 03:31 AM
1

I don't understand your questioning... I think ambition and confidence are as attractive as looks, intrinsically. AI hasn't affected us heavily enough yet to be a concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 04:23 AM
3

Those people generally are more ambitious and hardworking than intelligent. And that is a super attractive trait. Artists who aren't famous in their era usually aren't slaying. Theoretical physicists aren't getting tail like rock bands.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 03:12 AM
8

Intelligence is not magnetic. The smartest people on the planet aren't the ones swimming in the opposite sex
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 01:21 AM
–

What do you make of the fact that most men who succeed, don't do that you advise? The Chads out there aren't journaling their trauma and most of them drink.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 12:21 AM
11

It's an Olympic sport, I've won a real fight with it, and done some amateur kickboxing. Stfu
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 02:59 AM
3

Yeah, it was pretty cool. Tae Kwon Do. And yeah, I competed in some big tournaments with mixed success.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 11:16 PM
14

This is bullshit. I was a top level competitor in the world in a martial art, and I didn't and still don't have confidence with women. I still recommend it, I still train and teach... but it's not going to necessarily help you out with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 10:17 PM
-1

I do think mandated government civil service would be super good for us. Yes. For me personally though, there's an interesting gap between platonic loneliness and romantic loneliness. I can make friends of both genders super easily, but finding women who want me is incredibly difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 12:47 AM
24

A man cheating is worse on several levels: the woman is more likely to be financially reliant on the man, making a split a more daunting decision the woman haa more likely invested a larger percentage of her child bearing years in the relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 07:39 PM
15

That's not desperate then
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:01 AM
4

Many guys would prefer putting on an act if they get laid and enjoy the company of beautiful women
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:16 PM
10

I like how your organized your post, very easy to follow along. That said, there's one big issue that I have with your understanding meme. In epistemology, there's a difference between "know-that" and "know-how". A big issue in dating is that EQ will give you the former, but not that latter. A guy can know that a woman is feeling comfortable, or curious, or tired, or whatever else. But he doesn't have the "know-how" knowledge: how to make her feel comfortable, how to make her feel horny, etc... …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 09:57 PM
1

Does that sound appealing? Does anyone want to buy something that the other person is basically giving away desperately? The thing is, if the situation was reversed, most men would love a woman who seemed desperately into him
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 05:18 PM
1

Tenchi Muyo
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 05:13 PM
2

Red pillers are huge personality believers too. Maintaining frame is a huge personality thing. The fetishization of stoicism is a personality thing
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 07:25 PM
–

If everyone was poly and it was consensual, that would be cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:49 PM
–

Isn't the idea of trying to impress women kinda RP? Like the blue pill idea should just be like "be yourself and she'll want you".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:31 PM
–

So is "go to the gym"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 10:54 PM
3

I guess I'm just advocating for changing the interview process 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 08:25 PM
4

Job hunting sucks though. The interview process is horrible and filters for good interviewers, not good workers.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:53 PM
6

The blue pill has some very specific advice, like advising therapy to most struggling men. That's not nebulous at all
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:46 PM
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The problem is the prevalence of the golden rule. Men not giving a fuck about what there woman does for work excuses them for not wanting to be seen as what they themselves do for work. Them wanting eye candy is a projection of them wanting to be her eye candy
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 10:26 PM
6

Says who?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:54 PM
9

Oh. So if I have hobbies, a friend group, and a clean shower... then I'm allowed to complain?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 06:24 PM
3

Redpillers advice can be similarly unhelpful. Time in the gym is often time wasted if the only purpose is to be more attractive. Lots of guys who are in shape don't do well dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 04:20 PM
0

How do you know it doesn't infantilize you? Stating it's a preference doesn't mean it's best for you or that the standard it sets is best. Let's do a traditional relationship spectrum. Man pays for most dates, but especially the first date Man is expected to being home most of the money and is the provider Man makes the financial decisions and the woman can make household decisions, she focuses her ambitions to be a good housewife The man also makes all the political decisions. The woman is focu…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:48 AM
2

Wait, so it's not possible for it to be immoral? If it was demonstrated that this norm infantilized women and reduced the number of women entrepreneurs, politicians, and artists... Would you still think it's okay?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:13 AM
2

I wouldn't say you can be wrong about the way you feel, but you can be wrong about statements of morality. It's possible to declare immoral preferences: pro-slavery for example. I got the impression that even if it were.demonstrated that you were in the moral wrong, you still would not care.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:00 AM
3

I will expect him to pay. Is it right or wrong? I do not know and frankly do not care. 😳. You don't actually care if you're wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 08:39 AM
9

Neither do I. I'm decent looking, tall, in shape, and I've had maybe two women approach me in the last 15 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 10:22 PM
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"be the partner you would want to be with" "Why would I be with someone who has no ambitions, smokes weed, and plays videogames all day" Well duh, that's our perfect partner....
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 12:38 AM
3

No, I don't really ever get dates. I have sex once in a while. I work in restaurants and coworkers sometimes get drunk and fuck 🤷‍♂️ The point is that I don't have easy access to casual sex by being willing to lay older women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 09:44 PM
6

6'1" Absolutely, I've been inclusive of older ladies for a while. I shoot my shot in classes sometimes, sure. But older women aren't the easy target you think they are, any of them who aren't overweight seem to have no dearth of options
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 09:33 PM
8

I'm tall, in-shape, white, well groomed. I don't have cougars "initiating sex" with me. It doesn't happen, full stop. You're selling guys false hope, saying they just need to raise their age ceiling.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 09:09 PM
9

I go by the strict definition, involuntarily celebrate. No, I don't think the average man is an incel, but some incels can look like average men. Specifically here though, we're talking about the class of men who are in the dating/sexual market and are not getting any hits. Your suggestion that looking for older women can make it significantly easier to get casual sex seems patently absurd. If guys are struggling to get attention from women at all, targeting women with slightly lower smv is not …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 08:53 PM
18

I haven't found this to be the case at all. Guys, go ahead and set your age filters up to 50 on the apps. Tell me how many matches it gets you. Do you really think that all the incels have to do is say yes to cougars?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 08:36 PM
3

A lot of men would be happier living with themselves if they didn't "improve themselves". That's the problem, either do things you don't want to do and make yourself more dateable, or do the things you want to and be less dateable
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:18 AM
1

That's true that men have a lot less to lose having sex. Sure. I have two issues with the "men approach" rule. It seems to excuse what I could call excessive behavior on the part of men. The more approaching becomes a masculine thing,.the more that repeated and obnoxious approaching becomes normalized. It robs women of agency and infantilizes them. The risk/reward calculus doesn't really seem to effect my concerns
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:40 PM
2

Sure, from a game theory perspective it makes sense. From evo psych it makes sense. From a moral position, it doesn't make sense and you haven't even made an argument. You can make evo psych arguments for slavery or against women's suffrage or for a lot of crazy stuff
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:30 PM
1

It can be. You certainly didn't justify it by saying women are attracted to masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:26 PM
2

There's something called the is-ought gap. Until you can bridge that one, the evo-psych explanations won't put the burden to approach on men anymore than it will rob women of suffrage.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:17 PM
5

It's a masculine trait to die in war or to rape. That doesn't make those things good or desirable. Women encouraging toxic masculinity should be checked.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:07 PM
3

I mean, lots of things reduce that way. Maybe I only care if I win a game because it saves my ego... but I still do care. Caring "for the right reasons" is something else entirely
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 08:04 PM
6

Well, I posed the question, why would women fake orgasms if men didn't care about her pleasure?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 07:27 PM
15

As far as I understand, men super care if women enjoy it. For men, sex is often about ego. First, the ego boost from being able to get laid. And secondly, the ego boost for being able to give a woman a good time. Why would women fake orgasms if men didn't care if they pleased them?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 07:17 PM
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I absolutely have asked them, even my female friends. They allegedly find it puzzling as well and urge me to just keep trying and that my person is out there. Now I think there is more I could be doing: getting into more female-centric paces and hitting on more women. But the point is I am fairly social, and I do hit the tall and in-shape benchmarks... Shit, when I play sports, I'm the most dominant athlete on the field 90% of the time. I'm very well educated as well. The point is, that so many …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 11:06 PM
2

That is my body type, though I'm only 6'1". I do try to dress well. I haven't had a date in years. Maybe it's my face, or my game... But the "just be tall and in moderately good shape" crowd is dead wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:38 PM
1

That's fair. But a lot of redpillers act like just doing some only fans content will make her undatable for life
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:28 PM
4

Yup. Short guys really think we just swim in women 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 05:57 PM
2

There might be same of that. There's lots of people witb trauma and addiction issues in porn. There's lots of women who grew up in lower economic classes. But if you adjust for that, I think they're probably on par The impression I get from the RP, is that sex work is such a degrading job, that necessarily most men will strongly avoid a relationship with a sw. I don't think that's the case at all. If it were, I'd expect I could pull a baddie off OF very easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:42 AM
2

Do you really think pornstars struggle in the dating market? I mean really?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:33 AM
5

What's with the RP obsession with divorce rates? Lowest divorce rates are uneducated women who are financially tied to their man and can't support themselves. Also the argument was about sex workers becoming drastically less desirable in the dating market. Sure, divorce rates may be higher, but that's completey something else.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:11 AM
4

He's a professional freerunner who makes good money, he's no bum. Tito Ortiz was married to Jenna Jameson if you want another example. You can look up more examples of who successful sex workers end up with, usually it's very rich businessesmen.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 04:45 AM
5

Okay. Imo redpillers are living in fantasy land if they think beautiful women with great personalities and money are being turned down because they make money showing off their kitty online. It's just insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 04:41 AM
4

Sure, Pasha Petkuns married Riley Reid.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 04:33 AM
8

That's why pro athletes and celebs end up with porn stars so often 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 04:16 AM
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The "blue side" does advocate for things to improve ones prospects. Two things really Improve social circle: join clubs, sports teams, take classes, etc... Improve social skills: learning to flirt better, be more open with your opinions, express emotions, don't seek external validation, etc...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 08:41 PM
1

Thanks for the thorough response. Few points. The women aren't a monolith thing. While that's true, I think that women have certain tendencies and it would be best for men to be slightly inauthentic in order to greatly increase their odds. The fake confidence thing I think is a confession from blue pillers that a little faking does wonders sometimes. It's okay to put on a show, because everyone is. I'm more critical of blue pill because I believe in it more and I've tried the blue pill advice a …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:20 AM
16

Dating apps suck, but your prescriptions aren't novel at all. Church isn't an option for most of us because no one can believe in any of that stuff these days. The passport bro thing seems both unethical and anti-egalitarian.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 10:05 PM
6

It's way harder to do those things than just become thin.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 06:54 PM
9

Plenty of introverted nerd guys have strong friend groups but still so poorly with women. I have some great friends, we go out get into all sorts of trouble regularly. I'm just a heavy introvert so I need recharge time with a book, podcast, game of chess, etc... i have hobbies, play sports, have offbeat opinions, can discuss all sorts of stuff at depth... I don't do well with women at all. There def is something to women not preferring the more quiet introvert. There are some extrovert who would…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 06:25 PM
1

There's a few reasons I think it doesn't work that well. Dating is a numbers game. Doing hobbies and social groups that are most authentic won't often put you in reach of enough women to be successful. I think women are attracted to a certain kind of self improvement, not necessarily the authentic type. I also think women are attracted to certain types of personalities. Putting on a front is often necessary to get early attraction. If a guy is interested in lots of casual sex with lots of women,…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:13 PM
3

Some version of authentic self-actualization. If you'renworking on becoming the best version of yourself that you can be proud of, you'll attract the women that are right for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 11:33 PM
7

I work at a restaurant and see short kings out with baddies ALL the time. All the time. Constantly. There's more. Tall guys can struggle with women. Rich guys can struggle. Poor guys slay. Loners can do well and socialites can do poorly. Obese guys can have their jabba the hurt harem and guys who are shredded have only themselves for eye candy. The point is that the pills absolutely suck at analyzing why some guys do well and others do poorly. And that's why people are here.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 11:19 PM
17

I think people here are bitter against the pills. Women are allowed to like who they want to, that's fine. But the blue and red pill give prescriptions for how to win women's favor... and they both consistently don't work for many, many people. So people are here to sus out what the good and bad parts of the red and blue pills are and what a good prescription would even look like. You've already pointed out that the height thing is mostly bs, and yet it still makes the rounds around here
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 10:36 PM
1

Just keep yourself open to the possibility that those things will happen. MDMA can have transformative effects on people, and is, imo, much more powerful than a lot of the talk therapy you've tried before. Just bracket your cynicism for a whole weekend.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 07:08 PM
1

Bro, Bass Canyon is going to be so much fun! That's awesome, I'm a bit envious. And the Molly should be good for you, it can do a lot of cool stuff: teach you self love, bring you out of your shell, allow to dance all day and all night. You're going to have a great time! As for the bartending, the labor market is such that you could maybe get a part time gig even if you are ugly and awkward. Restaurant industry is hurting for peeps right now. Anyways, you should let me know how Bass Canyon goes.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 06:53 PM
1

Have you tried heavy social immersion? Like becoming a bartender part time? And do you flaunt your wealth ever? Do you party? Have a boat? I'm probably a little on the spectrum, but have been waiting tables for a long time and it's put me on situations that have forced me to grow some social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 06:15 PM
1

Fascists aren't attractive, I won't die on that hill 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 04:42 AM
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I agree. When women talk about the men that they "want", they're generally talking about desired traits, but they often talk about those traits as if they cause initial attraction. This is what annoys men, because they generally want to be able to cause more initial attractions. This is where you get the issue of men who are constantly trying to improve the things women say they want in a man, but they never get any better at attracting women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 08:01 PM
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Morals they agree with? Really? I see lots of progressive women who are attracted to conservative men with very different moral outlooks. I don't think women actually want the goody goody guy, but that's generally what women say they are looking for. I hear variations of it all the time. The misunderstanding of their attraction is on their side.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 06:18 PM
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Women don't have to be the moral arbiter. The issue is women often say that they're attracted to moral guys, but their attraction is amoral at best and often immoral.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:23 PM
1

I don't need the pedantism of "all", no. And you're right that my anecdote doesn't outweigh yours. But I still don't see a general trend, and I do go on the older dating subs far too often. If anything I see standards raise with age. I live right outside.a major city, I can talk to women, and my face is average-ish. I can't just set my app profiles to look for 35-49 and start getting matches. Women are still picky as all hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 03:29 AM
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This is such bs. Women don't become desperate after they hit 30. Such weird red pill cope. I'm in my 30s, tall, in shape, make okay money, etc and women don't line up for me, even the over 30s and over 40s.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 11:51 PM
5

I would never want to be a guy who could only get women because he was rich. It's better than none at all, but I think most guys here who struggle with women want to be able to pull them without a handicap
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 05:38 AM
3

I'm 6'1" and must be ugly, cause I don't get ANYTHING on dating apps
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 06:05 PM
3

It's 0.3%
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 12:24 AM
3

Yeah, I'm 6'1" and same experience. Maybe it's not quite tall enough? 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 03:09 AM
8

So the fresh and fit guys aren't rp content creators? No true scottsman, huh? I never said therapy is the ONLY solution, just that it is one and it's blue pilled af
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 01:08 AM
4

99% of atheists are fruitballs?! What?! And it absolutely is the majority. Look at the big rp creators and none of them seem to advocate going to therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 12:32 AM
5

RP def has some double edged to it. RPers usually call therapy effeminate and ineffectual, and it's probably one of the best tools to get HFA men functioning in social situations
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 11:59 PM
7

Mostly it was women very obviously checking me out. But also: Women coming up and chatting me up when she went to the bathroom or slipping me their phone number. That doesn't happen at all anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 07:24 PM
10

I got so much attention from women when I was with my girlfriend in public. I get none now, and I'm on better shape, better dressed, and better groomed. This is definitely a thing
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 06:59 PM
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What makes him not a redpiller? He's constantly referencing the "matrix" which seems explicitly rp
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 06:58 PM
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I don't doubt it happens to some of y'all. For me, I haven't had a chick approach me since I was a teenager. I'd love it it happened more, but it just doesn't. I'm tall, white, in shape... But some of us just done have the face 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 06:05 AM
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Waiting at a bar for a woman to chase me. Will keep you updated 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 05:50 AM
6

Me at 6'1" just missing the threshold 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 06:54 PM
–

Confidence without any demonstration is delusion. I'm all for a healthy inner world, but it must be grounded in reality. If you're confident about something you've never externally down competence in, again, you're deluded. And yes, there is competition rooted in everything. Best to break it into bite size pieces rather than pretend it's not there.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 06:31 AM
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The demonstration of competence is an external event, not internal. You're contradicting yourself and doing it impressively in very few words.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 06:15 AM
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Ummm, all science (hard and soft sciences) is based on recognizing patterns. "Merely" is a bit dismissive....
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 10:06 PM
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I'm not watching a YouTube link 🙄🙄🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 06:36 PM
–

Then why don't men who cry easily slay?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 06:15 PM
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Sure. Economic concepts like supply and demand, and scarcity are clearly applicable in the dating market. In the OPs example, he increased his "buying power" in the marketplace and therefore had more access to goods and services. You acknowledge his confidence changed, which imo, is an increase in buying power. Confident men have much more selective power in the dating market because women are attracted to confidence. Also, your implication that you need physical stalls and sample is also indica…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 08:06 PM
–

Tell me you don't understand economics without saying you don't understand economics
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 08:00 PM
2

I guess we just disagree. I think way more men would prefer boring hot women than women would prefer boring hot men. And more often it seems like women are the ones in a couple insisting on going out, while men are fine staying in. This is just anecdotal though 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 06:56 AM
3

Most men aren't attracted to "exciting" and so they don't get this. You laid it out very well. Though, I don't know if it's the fact that they're highly emotional or passionate: autistic guys can be highly emotional and passionate, but not in the "right" ways
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 05:36 AM
3

Okay... I think, golden rule and all, men would just like women to give them that same courtesy. And I might be the rare exception, it's my personality, not my face, that dooms me 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 06:37 AM
12

I can also see women being more negative about the idea of someone being simply asocial and introverted, but that's because there's a flip side to that. These asocial guys often block the girl from living out her own social and family life and isolate her, which is why some girls become especially sensitive to it. I don't think that's always the reason. I think women in general are more attracted to social competency than men are. I don't think that shy, awkward women face anything CLOSE to the …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 06:36 AM
63

Absurdity escalates: Women can be borderline autistic, even mentally and socially retarded and they will still be able to get guys. This seems very true to me, the ease at which women can get dates over men is one the few few large discrepancies this sub is completely right about.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 02:17 AM
25

If all women aren't the same, why are they all in agreement about rejecting me?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 09:08 PM
–

That's fairly accusatory. I would say absolutely I do... But it's an obviously leading question. What about my comment(s) would make you think I don't?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 03:51 AM
3

I get a 9 on photofeeler and can't get a date. Personality >>>> looks
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 10:50 PM
0

I'm not arguing for dependency. I'm responding to OP who made the claim that being happy and fulfilled is sufficient for dating success.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 07:38 PM
2

I've been through heartbreak, but as the saying goes: "it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 07:25 PM
1

I've never met a guy who is happy and proud of his life who hasn't been able to get a girlfriend Nice to meet you 🤝
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 06:38 PM
3

When did I say relationships are promised? It's not wrong to want love and romance. I never said anything about reliance.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 06:37 PM
33

There two huge problems with this in mind What happens when you have fulfilled yourself in other ways and are just missing the romance and love? It's possible to like your job, have a good social life and friend group, have fulfilling hobbies... And still not have romantic success. The bigger problem is that romance CAN make you happy. Being in love is like the coolest thing ever. Pretending this isn't the case to avoid seeming needy is self delusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 04:27 PM
4

That's true, but I think it's just more concise to say unattractive rather than bad. Also, blue pillers tend to support the view that women are attracted to morally good personalities, I'd rather not get sloppy with language and make that seem the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 12:45 AM
9

Omg, is it really that hard for you to separate good and attractive? Fine, I'll be concrete: Women will talk about being attracted to traits like intelligence, altruism, and emotional sensitivity. They also claim they aren't attracted to the dark triad cluster, and they definitely have that tendency.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 12:37 AM
11

I don't have a bad personality, I just have an unattractive one. Don't conflate the two, it's the worst blue pilled take. And yes, people can complain online when people are lying about what they're attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 12:29 AM
10

Lol, what? I'm average looking, so I get that it's my personality that is preventing me from getting dates. But I happen to like my personality... I'm not going to change myself to get attention from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 12:02 AM
3

We know this, we just also happen to like our personalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 11:26 PM
–

Not my experience. I'm probably at around 15% and have been in great shape for a couple years, and it hasn't made any difference to me. I've got chubby friends who slay. 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 06:00 PM
2

It's very rare for dating to get better in your 30s. In my 20s I could meet women way easier, women weren't looking to settle down right away, women were more forgiving... And if a guy waited until his 30s to date he'll be missing the excited experience and skills he'll need to successfully date later. There's not good reason to wait.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 04:52 PM
–

To be fair, I don't think we should be chasing job interviews like we do. The labour market should be a buyer's market in a just world, and that's why I generally advocate for things like UBI to give laborers more power in getting jobs. I think the same should exist in the dating world. The preference of the dating market towards thosev who are naturally predisposed to overly market themselves is similarly unjust. So not disagreeing with your descriptive claims, but your prescriptions are ass.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 07:40 AM
1

I don't have insurance, so I need to find therapists who operate on a sliding scale. Also most therapists around me aren't taking clients right now. Whhen I have found therapists, it just hasn't worked out for multiple reasons, even after investing a good amount of time. And then I have to start the process from the beginning... And it's exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 08:38 PM
1

Alright, well I sure would and have friends who told me the same 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 08:20 PM
1

You don't think a good percentage of men would take advantage of increased access to therapy? I mean, sure, self-pity, avoidant behavior, depression, anxiety,etc... will keep a lot of them away. But increased access will remove atleast one big barrier.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 08:10 PM
5

https://youtu.be/SZ4gURWrlk4 Plenty of evidence there if you really care.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 07:58 PM
1

Universal healthcare would get therapy to lonely men, for one.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 07:40 PM
8

He used to have something on his website and a video detailing his version of the "lover boy method". Basically, he coerced women to come to Romania on the false pretenses that he wanted to wife them up. I should probably have exact sources if I'm going to make these claims. There's a few articles that do a poor job of breaking it down, but I don't have the energy to find anything better right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 07:32 PM
13

Andrew Tate bragged about sex trafficking. That's on him
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 07:05 PM
1

I would recommend self improvement for yourself, because there's no guarantee that it will change anything else at all. I already said that people aren't interested in guarantees, just upping their odds; I don't know why you're bringing up guarantees again. If improving social skills ups their odds, as you imply it does, and they want dating success, it seems reasonable for you to recommend it just for that reason alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 09:22 PM
1

Okay, to clarify, so you would recommend self improvement to help dating and not just for its own sake then? Per your social skills example. Also, that's a clever distinction between creating attraction and removing obstacles to attraction. I'll push back a little bit. Would you classify the classic PUA techniques like push-pull and negging as simply removing obstacles or are they examples of creating attraction? What about something like feigning confidence?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 09:06 PM
1

You can't create attraction or feelings if nothing is there for you Figure out why they're single, and try to change it Choose one. Either you can create the conditions for attraction, or you can't
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 08:37 PM
1

There's nothing you can do or change that is going to guarantee attracting someone that wants you Nobody is asking for guarantees. But guys want attention from women, and they want to improve their odds. If they're happy enough with their mental health, physical health, social skills, and have hobbies.... and they're not getting any attention from women, what would you recommend they do?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 08:20 PM
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I'm not saying it doesn't matter. I've seen some study summaries, and some of them are fairly damning against our short kings. I'm not debating that. The flip side of that, that I push back against, is that being tall is "easy mode". Or that it's hopeless for guys under 6'. I'm not denying that my 5'2" brothers are fucked or that I'm squandering an asset. But you've fallen squarely on one side of the hyperbole hill.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 05:26 AM
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Maybe my face is just a 2/10..? Either way, I don't think height is as powerful as you think.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 04:56 AM
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I'm not obese 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 04:35 AM
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Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 04:34 AM
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I guess I disagree. I don't think my SOCIAL skills are that bad. In addition to having a good friend group: I bartend, wait tables, qb a rec team, and teach martial arts.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 04:34 AM
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Average being 5/10, I think 3.5 is only slightly worse. I might be overrating or underrating the face, I dunno.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 04:31 AM
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Sure, the easiest cope to not getting attention from the other gender is to blame it on traits they can't change. Height is an easy one for the short kings out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 03:41 AM
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significantly lacking in all other attractive traits Lol, nope. I make average money, am in good shape, maybe 3.5/10 face, well educated, and slightly worse than average social skills. Def not "significantly worse in all other attractive traits"
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 03:35 AM
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All you height reductionists. I'm 6'1", where are all the women chasing me?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 03:21 AM
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Thanks for agreeing. I don't know why this is such a hard pill to swallow. Also: teach me your ways 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 02:24 AM
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I'd say that confidence and communication skills are part of charisma. Sense of propose is something else. Understanding women is maybe more about being able to empathize, but being able to push the right buttons is definitely charisma. These weird blanket terms aren't precise, but those seem right to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 02:15 AM
2

I do observe the real world, and my work experience includes bars as well. I go out with friends. I went to college. I've seen how things work. You're the one citing a very poorly designed personal experiment. You've got no more objective footing than I do. And the dating podcasts suck, unless you can recommend a good one. All these fresh and fit wanna-be podcasts are cringe af
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 11:04 PM
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That's all true. But my expectation would be id do much better as be a charismatic short guy. And my very real experience as a tall guy who sucks at dating needs to be shouted out on this sub more. The amount of "just be tall and in shape" in here is just insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 10:36 PM
3

Sure, a hot guy with charisma will outperform an uggo with charisma. But in my experience, ugly guys with game will far outperform handsome guys with no game. I'm not sure how to move this beyond our own anecdotal experience though.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 10:34 PM
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I work in restaurants and have had the opportunity to observe the dating market for a very long time. I strongly disagree with you. I see ugly to average guys with cute girls all the time. I've seen average guys approach cute girls successfully. Most men seem to agree with you. I've been told quite a few times by guys that I "must slay", or "if I looked like you, I'd be killing it". That's not the case, at all. The "ugly charismatic guy is a creep" is just a cope from men who want to blame their…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 10:04 PM
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I'm tall and in shape. It's no magic pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 09:57 PM
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I'd disagree with you, in general. I think the largest predictor of inceldom is social incompetency. Lots of fat uggos who slay in college, trust me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 09:52 PM
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That's all true. There's a few things I'd add This sub skews younger and values hookups Men generally wouldn't want to date a woman who's not attracted to him in a casual sort of way I think woman still highly select for long term on charisma. Lots of awkward guys in their 30s who still struggle to get dates when they check off everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 09:49 PM
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There are chad-ish incels for sure. E**** R***** had a handsome face and is the poster incel.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 09:30 PM
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I'm not arguing against self improvement. But I'm in good shape, tall, white and with an average face. Its not the secret that all the short kings and overweight guys here think it is
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 09:28 PM
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Sure, all the variables increase your luck dating. What I'm pushing back against are the narratives that these other variables are overall more important than charisma. There's a lot of cynicism that height is the end all be all, or that money is. And I really, really don't think they're even close to as important.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 09:22 PM
2

Okay, so if you're accepting my testing criteria... You think a guy with 20 percentile finances and 60th percentile everything else will outperform a 20th percentile charisma and 60th percentile everything else? We're in the category of anecdote but I've seen many guys who are even top 10% earners struggle handily with women. And I know there's a selection bias problem, but I've seen posts in dating subreddits like this one where there are rich tech bros who are struggling hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 09:18 PM
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This is the most terminally online take I've seen. I know plenty of short guys who slay and tall guys (including myself) that struggle. If you're charming it won't matter unless you're incredibly short. 10/10 times a lady will prefer a charming short guy over a shy and awkward tall guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 12:18 AM
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Lol. I'm 6'1" and get nothing. Height is a small percentage
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 07:24 AM
1

I'm not anti-self improvement. That's all cool stuff, I read Marcus Aurelius and Nietzsche and all that, I get it. What I don't like is pretending that self improvement is the key for men getting laid. If I look at two groups of men: one that gets laid all the time, and the other that rarely does... Do you really think the key difference is going to be how invested in self improvement they are? I really fucking doubt it. In my experience, it barely matters at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 01:02 AM
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I would think someone who fetishized self improvement to such a high degree would learn to organize his thoughts. I'll still try and respond. Get off of your ass, go on a walk, and think really fucking deeply about your place in this universe, in the span of infinite time. Maybe youll find some shred of humbleness when you realize that your life has 0 inherent value and you will be forgotten as if you were never here in 100 years. Wake the fuck up because nobody is going to save you except for y…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 12:52 AM
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What would be your advice for a highly neurotic guy to get laid?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/23 11:39 PM
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He said he the percentage of men who commit those crimes. Obviously the percentage of victims is way to high, but are 10% of men the perpetrators, or .0001%?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 08:08 AM
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Yeah, id obviously take tall. But this thread is about comparing the importance of these traits right? Just passing forward my experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 08:06 AM
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If I could trade it for fluid sociability, yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 07:09 AM
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As a tall, handsome, awkward guy. No it isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 04:43 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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