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DWiens3 Archive

View 3 posts and 34 comments by DWiens3 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

The first child is really difficult. There’s a big life change for both of you, but also a physical one for her. I agree that you should be prepared (keep a journal, get legal advice, keep an extra eye on finances), but also that this is a challenging transition in your lives so a marriage can take a beating. I’m not trying to give you hope. I’m saying you two need to communicate and understand if there’s a solution, and possibly counselling, and actively pursue it if that’s what you’d both like…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 04:55 PM
3

It’s like you know me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/22 03:00 AM
2

Mine replied with a request for an extension on the very last day. Don’t get ahead of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 10:43 PM
1

My stbxw ordered the #4. She had a union education position for our entire marriage, now she can’t seem to hold a job. I’m not having fun.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 01:27 AM
6

It’s a highly emotional time. Mine stbxw thought I had a secret girlfriend after the guy she had an affair with replaced her with a new girlfriend. She threatened to charge me with rape unless I promised that our kids wouldn’t meet the girlfriend who she had imagined for me. Luckily she told the babysitter the entire story like it was a funny joke so someone knew she wasn’t telling the truth. Recordings are good. You can get phone call recorders too. I have recordings of her repeatedly saying sh…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:11 AM
3

You’re getting screwed because you don’t have a lawyer. You need to get a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 02:37 AM
7

Yep. Mine still goes for hair and nail appointments on a regular basis but can’t afford to put gas in her car. I got pretty tired of the leeching
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 07:51 PM
8

You are not the asshole. Mine did the same thing. She eventually refused to move out, refused to move forward on the divorce, and is unemployed. She wanted the separation too, to find herself, or be her true self or something and decided to become a social media celebrity. I’m completely supporting her and the kids financially. I served divorce papers. I don’t feel bad.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 07:45 PM
9

Record, hire a lawyer, and get out. Protect yourself first. My ex did this. She told our babysitter she did it as a joke and how funny she thought it was. Eventually one of my stbx friends called the cops for her as a mental health check, but the x told me they were there for me. On the day I moved out she woke me up at 4am, asked me a bunch of confusing questions, then began kicking me when I couldn’t answer them. I locked her out of the bedroom and she pretended to call in a fake assault repor…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 04:35 PM
9

You’ve only been married 2 years and she’s thrown around the idea of divorce “for awhile now”? You don’t need to have your relationship regularly threatened. You seem to have had this car hobby the entire time you’ve been together and now she’s asking you to give it up? You don’t need to change who you are to be with someone I don’t know what you two called each other during the fight or how balanced that fight was. My stbx talked about divorce constantly through our 7 years and it was exhaustin…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 10:46 AM
2

This is definitely right. She has the same right to be there that you do until she leaves. If she’s listed as a tenant on the deed she has no obligation to leave, and even if she does she can come back. Your best bet is to hire a lawyer and go through the system (unless of course there’s DV).
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 11:17 PM
3

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 10:30 PM
2

Yep. This is how my divorce worked. I retained a lawyer back in July. My stbx was telling people we were amicable and going through mediation, but with me she was difficult and argumentative. She wanted everything her way and refused to do any paperwork. By the time mediation fell apart in November I was already mostly prepared to serve.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 09:47 AM
10

You can have a lawyer through your mediation for advice. Then if mediation doesn’t work out you’ve got a lawyer familiar with the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 02:58 AM
1

She opened the conversations with “so when I walked out I wasn’t mentally stable…” which didn’t seem to go well for 2 lawyers. One demanded a specific type of mediation proceeding which my lawyer advised against, and then her lawyer bailed. The last one just seemed to disappear. I think she didn’t pay the retainer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 04:10 PM
10

Depends on your situation. Find some healthy ways to spend your time. I did the typical “join the gym” thing and honestly really enjoy it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 08:22 PM
2

My stbx wife cooperated until things weren’t going the way she wanted and then texted she didn’t want a divorce anymore. I filed. You should, too. At least get a separation agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 11:48 PM
7

Yeah, she sent me a message saying she refused as if that was the way this worked. It really gave me the motivation to get her served when there was no possibility of mediation though. Thanks for the heads up on being cautious the first year. I’d expect she’s going to respond, but this process feels like it takes a long time so an end would be great
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 06:51 PM
2

I really appreciate this advice. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/21 10:47 PM
4

I didn’t respond. Just screen shot it and sent it over to my lawyer. Responding always makes things worse
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 04:41 PM
1

Already in the process of filing. We had agreed on mediation before this text, but she wasn’t really making any progress on that front
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 04:41 PM
1

I’m in Ontario. I believe the rule is that at least 1 person involved in the conversation must be aware that the conversation is being recorded. Not sure about video, but I think that’s further than I want to go
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 04:39 PM
2

Her friends and family are all aware and to be honest her life has become pretty sad as most of them cut her out of their lives, and she’s been let go from most of her jobs. At the time she moved out we had talked about it being a separation, and she told everyone she was staying with a friend, but didn’t tell anyone the full story until a few months later. Turned it she’d been sleeping with the guy, and he’d been pretty violent with her until she finally moved out and charged him with assault a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 01:56 PM
2

That’s not happening. The divorce is definitely happening
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 01:00 PM
13

Hard to pass up, right?
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 03:01 AM
10

I left a lot of details out because it’s a long story. I hired a lawyer a few months back and the ex has been playing games to delay any movement.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 03:01 AM
4

Same. We bought the house from my grandparents. I don’t think either of us can afford to keep it, nor buy something else right now. Fun stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/21 05:27 PM
2

To be honest I really liked being married, but my ex wife had an undiagnosed mental illness, we got married young, and grew to have very different values and priorities. I would get married again. I love being in a fair relationship, but I’m also alright being single. Our kids are absolutely awesome. I really enjoy all that stuff. It sounds like you don’t like your gf, but you also don’t want to be single. I don’t think your issue is with marriage, I think either you don’t know, or you’re not ge…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/21 02:00 PM
1

This is great! Thanks so much. The app and the BIFF strategy are great ideas.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 04:14 PM
1

Oh, totally. I don’t think she’s in a logical state of mind to understand that. I’ve tried to explain to her the reality of the separation, but it doesn’t ever seem to set in. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 04:13 PM
1

We tried that in a counselling session. She lasted less than a day. It’s a great suggestion, but didn’t work at all. Thanks though!
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 04:12 PM
2

I get what you’re saying, and really agree with you on boundaries. Thanks for your input
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 04:12 PM
1

Ohhh, no, she’d love that. I think she still has the delusion that we might be best friends or get back together. Thanks for you input thiugh
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 04:11 PM
3

Yep. My stbx wife left on an impulse one night, and in with the first guy who let her. Hers was a mental health issue, but that didn’t make me feel any better about it. She lasted 4 months before it fell apart, too. I’ve been in your position. It’s super shitty and a lot to process. Don’t go drinking. Get counselling, get healthy, get fit. This is about you and your kids now. Keep being a great dad.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 07:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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