~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 73 | On Bad Habits - Why Texting That Old LVM Is A Form Of Self Harm, & YOU AREN’T A SPORT! Why He Doesn’t Qualify For A ‘Second Shot’ - Don’t Let Your Vulnerability Be His Advantage.This is such a great message! I like calling it self harm, it truly is. It is not going to actually be good in the long run, it's just a quick hit to avoid some temporary difficult emotions. So much better to face the emotions, let them pass, and keep growing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/22 03:00 AM |
| 2 | Why are men often so short sighted they sabotage themselves?Thank you! I am working on that mind shift. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 05:13 AM |
| 9 | Why are men often so short sighted they sabotage themselves?You are exactly right. Thanks for giving it to me straight. I have just started dating again recently so running into applying the principles in real life. I have a lot to learn. I definitely can see I need to catch it earlier and not fall back to old ways of thinking. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 05:47 PM |
| 7 | Why are men often so short sighted they sabotage themselves?Yes true. Texting to build connection just makes it even easier for them huh. I've read the handbook and been following the sub, but just started dating again so it's been a learning process applying the principles in real life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 05:41 PM |
| 72 | Why are men often so short sighted they sabotage themselves?Oh interesting, that makes so much sense! Ugh, it's so counter to what most women want. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 08:38 AM |
| 40 | Why are men often so short sighted they sabotage themselves?That's great advice. Looking back I think he was mirroring. It's weird reading your comment and how accurate it is for him. Like he has a play book. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 08:36 AM |
| 113 | Why are men often so short sighted they sabotage themselves?That's definitely true! I guess I wish it wasn't their true colors, but I can't change that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 08:31 AM |
| 4 | men's silence after setting boundaries is a vetting strategy and a very big tellThis is gold! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 12:43 AM |
| 260 | Why are men often so short sighted they sabotage themselves?That's a good point with porn. They expect real women to be as on demand. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 12:33 AM |
| 13 | Even tho you know they’re LVM and don’t want to be with them…I love this so much, thank you! I have definitely felt the blaming myself for having feelings. Like what is that?! So many men can't handle emotions and make the woman's emotions the problem instead of what they did to cause those emotions. I'm still working on overcoming bad beliefs and behaviors, and your suggestion to picture what an hvm would do seems like it will be so helpful! I've been wondering lately if I know a single man who has ever truly cared for my feelings. I'm not sure most men … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/22 02:59 PM |
| 25 | FDS: From minimizing dating disappointment to averting life-derailing disaster - Or the power of sticking the hell up for yourself.I re-read that part several times too. Hit like a ton of bricks. That was me. It is definitely worse than crying over the few short term guys I've seen since. I've tried to remind myself that if I could leave after many years of marriage, 2 kids, and his family rejecting me, then I can leave some dude who I dated and had feelings for of only 6 months. I used to dream of the chance of a good relationship. That dream is still better than being in a bad one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 06:35 AM |
| 12 | Introspection- when you aren't sure ask yourself would you do the same to him?This is really helpful, thanks! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/22 09:53 PM |
| 29 | Let’s hear your clever responses to “How are you still single?!”I really like this one! I think I used to see the question as a "what's wrong with the guys, why aren't they all over you, you're amazing" kind of thing. It's still awkward though, and maybe that's not how they mean it. So making them reflect seems good to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 09:51 PM |
| 50 | "I just fell asleep" Men that won't say goodnight or just dip from convosI used to excuse this, but you're right, it is a full on red flag. I do have friends that don't necessarily say good night or explain when they're not going to respond and we are all ok with it, but they aren't pursuing me to date. I want more from a partner and how they try to set that expectation in the beginning is important. Related, I also get the "I didn't know what to say" if I press him the next day after a sudden drop off from a conversation that was uncomfortable but important. They're… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/22 04:27 PM |
| 14 | Roe will likely be overturned.Yes, I married at barely 20 because of waiting for sex til marriage. Having grown up in a traditional conservative religion, there's reasons society has gone away from this. If we could create a balanced way of women still having empowerment to understand and own their sexuality while men wait for sex, maybe could be good. But purity culture has always historically gone along with sexual abstinence. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/21 07:16 PM |
| 56 | Stories and examples of sensitive/emotional men being abusive or manipulative?I've not heard it described quite this way before! Really helpful, putting the words to the feeling. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/21 04:21 AM |
| 13 | I’m doing horribly bad and I see myself backsliding I need help, encouragement and reassurance, please.First off, it's not your fault your brain won't let the guy go and is afraid to be alone. It's trying to protect you, and hormones aren't helping by reinforcing these fears. (Look up trauma bonding). There's research to suggest we can become addicted to certain emotions, and then seek situations to feel them again, even unpleasant ones. I'd suggest looking into mindfulness, it's a way to train your brain to stop getting stuck on certain thoughts or emotions. Mindful.org is a good place to start.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 12:33 PM |
| 37 | So sorry her period is annoying to you! 😡 And how proud he seems of his complete ignorance of female bodies. Notice she's already used her amazing body to create his children.🤣 exactly! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 05:50 PM |
| 33 | So sorry her period is annoying to you! 😡 And how proud he seems of his complete ignorance of female bodies. Notice she's already used her amazing body to create his children.Love this suggestion! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 04:55 PM |
| 1 | A mantra that might be helpful for when we fall back into old ways of thinking...Glad it resonated! I like that idea of programing too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/21 12:04 AM |
| 1 | A mantra that might be helpful for when we fall back into old ways of thinking...Aw, what a compliment! 💜 Glad it was helpful! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/21 12:02 AM |
| 2 | A mantra that might be helpful for when we fall back into old ways of thinking...Lol, I love the image of slipping through their grasp! Hiking isn't performative, no need to wear anything other than what you want. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/21 12:01 AM |
| 7 | A mantra that might be helpful for when we fall back into old ways of thinking...How fun! There's something so healing being out in nature! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/21 11:59 PM |
| 3 | Slow FadeI'm sorry that happened to you! Completely agree how awful love bombing is. I've been learning more about narcissists recently and how they truly don't mean any of the love bombing, they really are incapable of feeling genuine love so its all manipulation. Sometimes we hang on to a bad relationship because we believe they really meant that early stuff and if we hang on we can get it back, but in reality it was never real in the first place. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/21 12:27 AM |
| 8 | Need adviceIt's the prevalent culture that conditions women to get into these situations. Now that you see it you can move forward. Most of us here went through similar situations. Read the handbook to help you work through this relationship and prepare you to avoid LVMs in the future. | /r/askFDS | 28/01/21 03:15 PM |
| 22 | Need advicehe doesn't care about what I say anyway There were red flags in your post but this says it all. It's not a good relationship if he doesn't respect you. It will only get worse. | /r/askFDS | 28/01/21 02:47 PM |
| 1 | Needing AdviceI was just thinking of my favorite FDS mantra when I clicked on your post. "If he wanted to he would." It's definitely a red flag. He could be testing you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/21 03:02 AM |
| 36 | Rejecting your natural form screams “pick me, pick me!”Thank you for saying this so clearly, I love it! Beauty is just one trait of many. Its societal definition changes and is superficial. Each woman can find beauty in herself on her own terms, as well as cultivate and value herself for the many other traits she possesses. Power also comes through self acceptance and an inner confidence in the unique combination of traits she has. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/21 08:22 AM |
| 15 | Why do we seem to take rejection more personally than men?I think men are less likely to let themselves go there or acknowledge they feel shame too, so they deflect and turn it to blame and anger. | /r/askFDS | 21/01/21 03:28 PM |
| 12 | Someone's post on Monday about gaming ads demeaning women reminded me of this old version of "Battleship" I found at a church sale almost twenty years ago. Do you see the problem with it? 👀My grandparents had this exact box, and that's what I always thought too. Why even add the women to the picture?! Like they had to be clear only males could play it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 03:51 AM |
| 1 | Truth and men think we leave them for other reasons than our own well being 😆I love this! Such a simple way to state it. Truth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/21 03:47 AM |
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