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Derfelkardan Archive

View 1 posts and 145 comments by Derfelkardan on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Question For MenDerfelkardan/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 03:45 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

I’m interested in dating because I’m in an open marriage and I want to have some fuuuuun with handsome young men and hopefully be somehow special to the start of their sexual journeys ✨
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 09:13 PM
2

Tbf I think the other two reasons are also creepy or disgusting… I think 1- is because he wants a hole to regularly put his peen inside and 3 - he wants to use a woman’s presence by his side to be seen as less creepy or dangerous 🤨
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 08:46 PM
1

What’s the dark triad?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:32 PM
–

If a woman would want just a dick to ride without caring whom it’s attached to, she’d have to pick one from an endless sea, so she’ll need some selection criteria of some form
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 06:11 PM
–

Jesus… I feel like an alien… I’ve given a few guys some dating advices and I offer to do stuff like: take better pictures of them (many men don’t know how to take good pictures), choose amongst the pictures they already have for the best ones to put on a dating app, some funny prompts, quotes or word play to make their bio funny in a very personalised way according to their interests I never say anything about buying flowers or the shit listed on OP’s post or about money or trying to become rich…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 05:27 PM
–

“Have sex with my body not my brain”??? What does that mean? How does one have sex with a brain?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 05:10 PM
1

So you meant his mistress “might very well take him to the cleaners in a messy divorce”?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 11:35 AM
2

You didn’t understand my question… in wolf’s comment he said that he thinks his wife knows in a “don’t ask don’t tell” way, so that wasn’t what I asked What I asked was if his mistress knows that he has an official wife and other kids in another state… In my country there was a soap opera telling the story of a guy that had 2 families and both families had no idea about the other, and I do think that is possible to do, but if the mistress knows about the official wife, then things become easier …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 06:03 PM
3

The mistress knows that the wife and the other kids exists, right? Interesting take, I personally would be deeply hurt if my husband would be having a whole family on the side… that said, we have an open marriage and I’m perfectly fine with him having sex with whomever he wants, as long as he doesn’t get STIs or impregnates someone… Before we officially opened, my husband knew that I had started an emotional affair and when I asked him if I could travel to Amsterdam to meet him in person, my hus…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 10:30 AM
1

I regret approaching, because I don’t look that great in my routine (unless I’m all dolled up with a lot of makeup and hairdo and nice dress and etc) and though very young, the guy looks amazing even in his routine work… he was polite to me, gave me a phone number (probably fake) and then never replied my text… he probably was weirded out by being approached by a significantly older immigrant woman :/
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 08:15 AM
1

I have cold approached a stranger at my local supermarket this year and I regret it… but yeah, I agree it’s unusual… but if the guy is really hot, handsome or famous, I believe he’ll get some cold approaches….
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 05:50 PM
2

Do you know all women in the world? I’m a woman and I approach guys
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 05:08 PM
1

Yes, I’ve cold approached some guys… one I approached this year and regretted :/
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 05:00 PM
4

I think I’m glad my mother didn’t teach me how to date, we’re already very similar physically, our voices sound the same and I don’t think I’d be happy with her traditional life…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 04:58 PM
11

I’m a woman and I’m the opposite from you, I’m always the one to approach the guys… do you think that if no men would ever approach you, send any messages or anything, you’d just stay in your corner single forever?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 04:48 PM
2

More men than women? I think you’re thinking of engineering or IT Healthcare for sure is female dominated, I think humanities as well
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 04:45 PM
1

Thank you!!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:07 PM
1

I’m not Gen X, I’m a millennial (I’m 36yo)… if you were thinking I was older you should have been surprised that I met my lover on discord, that is mostly used by Gen Z
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 01:54 PM
3

I think it’s really difficult to not have gender roles, especially after we have kids… whole society is watching and judging us if we’re good moms or bad moms… in my real life I have several obligations (people need to work and when we have kids the obligations are literally 24/7), then while reading some smut I can scape reality for a while and relax, not having to think about the gender roles and the pressures and responsibilities
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 03:50 AM
1

I would love to get the link to this video essay, sounds super interesting and I agree
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 03:44 AM
5

I’ve started a relationship with a lover that I fell in love with when he was crying in a discord voice chat about a broken heart… I consoled him for months and got closer and closer to him until he started trusting me and started liking me and then our affair became physical… we enjoyed it for a while and then after a few months he got himself an official girlfriend and I had to move on Women aren’t all the same and I’m sorry that you’ve been hurt to the point that you don’t trust women anymore…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 03:34 AM
4

To my sadness, Reddit is full of posts of men telling other men that they can’t be vulnerable to women :/
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 03:26 AM
7

Yeah!!! That’s right, I wouldn’t appreciate reading romances with a submissive/helpless girl… the comments on this post are quite enlightening!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 08:12 PM
9

Oh yeah!! Thanks for reminding me of yet another reason why we like BL!!! Why are men that are uninterested in me soooo much more attractive than men that are attracted to me? There is definitely a psychological aspect there that maybe I should discuss with a psychologist about
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 08:06 PM
11

Well, you’re not alone, sis The only erotic books in my house are mine and they are both about ice hockey players falling in love and sexing each other up And I completely agree with your reasons: because of the “forbidden love” of two NHL players, them being surprisingly sensitive or emotional or romantic… and I hadn’t thought about the lack of gender roles before, but you are probably completely right! While watching “All her fault” made me anxious and guilty relating so much with the moms of …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 08:03 PM
4

If I was still single and searching for a primary partner to form a family with: I wouldn’t date any trans person, I really wanted to have kids and I have a very big family that is traditional and religious Now that I already have a cis husband and 2 kids and our marriage is secretly open (our friends, families, neighbours and coworkers don’t know it’s open), I would be willing to date a trans person that I find attractive, but I would understand if a trans person wouldn’t want to be someone’s “…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 05:11 AM
1

😮😮😮😮😮 this whole time I’ve been using this term wrong then!!! Someone has told me that black pill was quitting on dating altogether
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:28 AM
1

I’m not sure if I understand the “blackpilled” term, but how can you be slut shamed and be black pilled at the same time?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 06:52 PM
3

I’m the type of woman that wants to chat as much as possible before dates and between dates, but I usually set dates early after matching and if the guy is not replying I just wait… I only get angry/upset if the lack of messaging leads to not defining the logistics of the date, cancelling the date last minute or if the delay in replying me is taking almost a week or more than a week
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 06:15 PM
4

Yes, they were in those places only because of money, directly (getting money from their influencer “boyfriends”) or indirectly (they were advertising themselves and their OFs - to get more followers and therefore more money)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 08:24 PM
2

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 08:18 PM
7

In 2025 my husband slept with 4 different women, while I only slept with one guy besides my husband… If I’d want any penis, then you’d be correct that it would be much easier for me to find, but I don’t want a big dick for me to sit on, I want a sweet interesting young man that will treat me well, what is not that easy to find… I don’t want any other “body combination” (whatever that means), I have a very specific type that I prefer… and I don’t want a lover with a penis even bigger than my husb…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 06:20 PM
2

I don’t humiliate my husband, everything I do to him and with other guys I have discussed beforehand with my husband and I have his approval and his excited consent… we have our kinks and I consider myself super lucky to be married to an open minded man that dislikes monogamy just like me… we both don’t tell friends, family, neighbours or coworkers about our marriage being open, but he goes out on dates and has sex with other women, I want him to be happy and satisfied
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 06:05 PM
6

The women that don’t like bi men make you bitter and the women that like bi men anger you to the point that you just want to insult like you were trying to shame me for being in an open marriage… why don’t you just chill, instead of generalising “all women are like xyz”?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 05:59 PM
3

Do you think you’d stay strong while almost everybody would be slut-shaming you?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 05:24 PM
13

I have several times asked if my husband is interested in sleeping with a man (we’re in an open marriage)… so far he has answered that he doesn’t want that… I wouldn’t have any problem at all with him being penetrated by another man, or to be pegged by me or at least receive one or a couple of my fingers up his butt… but he’s just not interested 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 05:17 PM
1

It’s true about the being attractive works and not being attractive doesn’t work, but I’ll add that sometimes there can be women in specific situations such as mine: I’m in an open marriage and I’d like that to be a secret to friends, family, coworkers, etc… so answering OP’s question: I make faceless profiles on dating apps and get men there
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 06:31 AM
1

Ahhh ok, if you’re in a committed relationship, thinking of a future together then I agree it should be a joint decision, and preferably before getting pregnant… My husband and I actually tried for a long time to conceive naturally, but apparently we have mysterious fertility issues and we needed fertility treatment… since the treatment worked and now we have healthy daughters, I don’t have problems to talk about all this openly
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:47 PM
5

Oh… I was thinking of upvoting your comment while I was reading your first and second paragraphs, but if I ever get accidentally pregnant from one of my lovers, I’m not going to have any conversations with any of them, I’ll go straight to the healthcare station and say I want to terminate the pregnancy (what is completely legal just from the woman’s wishes here in the country where I live)… there is no way that I’m going to carry a baby that is not my husband’s in my belly, I already have 2 kids…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 06:52 PM
–

I think he meant “during his early 20’s”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 08:48 PM
–

Men in this subreddit are going to complain that you have your preference and that I have mine (that are the opposite, I like inexperienced guys, I like the idea of teaching/showing something to someone for the first time), probably will say that “women have to make up their minds” and that we’re inconsistent But I think that it’s a good thing that we have different preferences, then we can give a broader range of men sexual experiences - men here also complain that women only date “the top 10%”…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 08:46 PM
1

🤗🐆
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 07:39 AM
1

Aahhh now I think I’m understanding what you meant: you’re comparing the taste on a woman and the taste of semen… If I give a man oral, then I swallow his cum - not because it’s tasty, but because of all the psychological aspects, I like pleasing… I only tried to give a woman oral once and maybe it was the situation (being drunk and too tired at the wee hours of the morning, in a strange place), but I wasn’t into it much :/ and after I graduated I think I won’t have any opportunities to have sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 05:52 PM
1

I think punctuation is missing… the first few words of your answer: “if you don’t” - is it about the question “do men go down on you?”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:46 AM
3

I’m a woman, but I don’t have a flair yet, so I’ll comment here: For sure less than 50% of men I’ve been with offered or showed any kind of interest to give me oral… very rare for a man to want to go down on me Probably because nowadays I’m into young and inexperienced guys, so they don’t know much what they are doing, probably are too much in their own heads worrying if they’ll keep the erection or if they’ll be able to cum or some other nervousness problems like that But even before I started …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 07:10 PM
1

What?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 07:02 PM
7

Exactly, I don’t remember if a guy that I was going to have sex with or that I was interested to be with romantically ever asked me my body count, maybe just the guy that took my virginity, indirectly, because I think it’s good for the people that are going to take someone’s virginity to know that they will be the first… There have been some random guys on the internet that asked me my body count and I answered very honestly (because, of course, I didn’t have any reason to lie, since I wasn’t in…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 05:23 PM
1

Can you give me an example of how ‘pickme’s put down other women? By being a tradwife and making other women feel bad if they’re not so great at cooking, taking care of the house, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 08:29 AM
2

There are more breakups between lesbian couples because it’s 2 women having mood swings monthly, sometimes they even sync up and then you’ll have 2 hormonally irritable people trying to solve everyday’s problems - that probably causes more fights… What I said was: the hormonal cycles cause mood swings that cause relationship instability that can cause breakups… I have no idea why you’re trying to say I’m saying something else about tolerance when I’m saying things as plainly as I can Something e…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:11 PM
2

No, I didn’t say anything about women’s tolerance or lack thereof… some women are more tolerant, some not really… What I said is that women have hormonal fluctuations every month, what causes mood swings, sometimes we’re sad (can manifest with some insecurity, but if the insecurity is all the time and it’s a lot, then it’s personality), sometimes we’re irritable because of the hormonal shifts - this irritability probably causes more fights The mood swings can cause more instability in the relati…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 12:59 PM
3

Yes, I’m always glad that different people have different tastes! So that more people are capable of pairing up like that… but yeah, unfortunately the extremely unattractive ones are not gonna enjoy the set up in any case
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 09:20 AM
–

Do you have any intention of marrying or “being around women” later in your life? I don’t understand this about red pills: if you dislike being around women so much, don’t you want to date men instead?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 08:43 AM
4

I don’t understand why this is so shocking to people here in this subreddit… I think nobody here has any idea about anything related to endocrinology. I’ve been scrolling down and down through the comments here and nobody is mentioning the hormone fluctuations caused by menstrual cycles that women must endure. Ask any scientist if hormonal fluctuations cause mood swings. Men have hormonal shifts for example during puberty and that’s the less stable part of their lives… ask any trans woman that h…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 08:20 AM
1

In my opinion, some (very few) dicks can be quite valuable because of being attached to a great man So, if you’ll let me edit your comment to improve it: “Dick isn’t a scarce commodity. Thank God I’m bisexual” PS- I’m also bisexual, but I’m not fully understanding how is that helping the situation
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 07:43 AM
0

The first incel group was started by a woman? That’s very interesting… is there a documentary or something about all of this incel movement history, I’m curious and I should probably see more of that before commenting further in this subreddit
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 09:12 AM
6

Wtf? Yeah, nobody has ever heard of women having to take care of kids, do household chores and work full time, we don’t need to do any of that, we just sit back and relax while men do all of that for us… have you ever seen a woman working a full time job? I haven’t… in healthcare, in education, all only male workers… thankfully we women also never get raped or suffer any kind of violence, that would make life harder… and it’s good that we don’t need to deal with menstrual cycles, pregnancies and…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 12:54 PM
3

Since I like younger men, when I go out with them I most often pay for my part. I would be willing to pay for them if we’re going to a cheap place (I’m a cheapskate myself and I’m ok with the guy being like that as well, as long as he’s not abusing the situation or trying to leach off me for a long time)… I am not doing well financially, and when I go out with older men that I know have a good salary, then I let them pay for my part of the dinner as well
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 03:16 AM
2

Yeah, and nowadays many poor women end up scammed or trafficked because they fall in love with a foreigner’s profile online enough to travel abroad :/ The subject got really heavy 😬 I was just trying to joke around a bit, asking about the female version of “passport bros” because I am from a 3rd world country and I married a 1st world man and immigrated to his country in 2016 and now we have two kids
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 10:17 PM
2

Is there a name for a woman from a third world country that desperately searches for first world men to marry then to immigrate?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 06:09 PM
1

I think there’s a whole conversation about prostitution that you’re bringing up here… What’s passport bros?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 03:06 PM
–

Yeah… and you don’t think of moving to another area of the US? You’re against dating apps right? But some dating apps allow you to browse for compatible people far away as well, if I were you, I’d be using them… I am in an open marriage and my husband knows about my comings and goings and I know about his dates with other women as well… we both don’t want friends, family, neighbours and coworkers to find out our marriage is open…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 03:31 PM
–

It would hurt my ego and in this subreddit I think people will downvote me for being an “attention seeking” *****… but it’s the truth and one that I actually live in, because in my real life I do get ignored by a bunch of guys and also ghosted when I message them… I can’t speak for other women and possibly I’m in the minority, maybe many wouldn’t mind the silent presence and not be butthurt about it
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 01:51 PM
–

Not all women would do that! When I am the woman that is following the guy, trying to approach him and he just ignores me, I get hurt ego and sad, but I would never say homophobic things about him… There’s a worker at my local supermarket that I tried to cold approach 😬 I asked him his age, if he was single and I asked him for his number… he wrote on a small paper a name and a number, I thanked him, went home and sent the number a message - never received a reply. I think he gave me a wrong numb…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 01:44 PM
–

I see… about me: I can’t go cold approaching young men irl because 1- I’m an older woman, married with kids and many guys might not be into all that, some might find my behaviour sexually predatory 2- I’d like to keep things down low, and if I’m going around approaching men that I don’t even know that are single or straight or into me, one day someone will be creeped out enough to expose me… I want to create a new profile on hinge to reset my ELO score, I’m just waiting to transfer one match I h…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 11:07 AM
1

Wait… what is the black pill? I might have been wrong and talking about it for a while already
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 04:27 AM
1

For sure XP so you and all other Redditors that have seen my shit are already vaccinated against me: therefore I must find guys elsewhere willing to go on dates with me
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:03 PM
1

But you wouldn’t call a woman that had some traumas with a man and considered that an “awakening” for her to start hating men as “red pilled”, would you?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 09:16 PM
10

Did the woman try to give the man an orgasm? If she didn’t even try, then it’s her fault. If she tried (for example being active in bed, riding, giving him a bj, asking him what he likes and what he wants in bed, etc) but still didn’t succeed, then it’s his fault and he could probably try to solve the issue by himself (going to a doctor because of ED or seeking therapy because of sexual trauma that is keeping him from orgasming, trying techniques other men recommend here on Reddit) Did the man t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 08:42 AM
2

Yeah… rejections are painful, but I think it would at least be better to know why exactly they don’t want to meet me, to know if there’s anything I can change or do differently so not to end up in the same situation again… 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 08:04 AM
1

Guys are not sexually picky I think there’s a cultural difference between where you live (US?) and where I live… I don’t think I “made that guy’s year” at all… when I told my husband what I did at the supermarket my husband told me that it would be weird for me to go to the supermarket for a while and see him after the rejection… and I think it was indeed a bit awkward later when he saw me shopping there, but I just endured it and I think now, over a month later, he already moved to work at anot…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 07:59 AM
1

In the past I’ve had a few successful matches and dates, I might be just unlucky these last couple weeks, maybe Valentine’s Day and the skiing vacations could have had some effect on dating apps… but in any case I’m thinking I could try to reset my ELO score, maybe try a different app
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 04:30 AM
1

I’m a married woman with two kids, I can’t constantly ditch my kids to go to bars to try cold approaches (something that I used to do over 15 years ago, when I was in my 20’s and that usually didn’t lead to anything either - bars and nightclubs can be incredibly frustrating) Also, my husband and I are trying to keep our extramarital activities down low - we don’t want our friends, family, neighbours and possible coworkers to find out our marriage is open And last but not least: in the beginning …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 04:03 AM
1

Do you get a lot of likes? I follow different strategies on different apps: On Feeld (where I have the faceless profile with an obviously fake name and my profile is linked to my husband’s) I get too many likes to be counted, from a lot of older dominant men or unattractive to me - because of this mismatch between my tastes and criteria and the men that like me there, in the last few months I don’t even spend much time there, I just sometimes check if I had a new match or a new ping - last time …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 03:20 AM
1

Wow, a lot of wrong assumptions here, I don’t know if you read my post at all… In my post I say that on Hinge I’m constantly recommended the profiles of muscular men with handsome faces and I believe they don’t pay for the app because of fit bodies + handsome faces… But I am not really into muscular men and also I believe these guys already get too many women, so I don’t swipe right on these guys so I don’t match with them Now I’ll describe the guys that I do match with on Hinge: men that liked …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 02:49 AM
1

Hmmm… being able to message whomever sounds interesting, and to be able to freely search for people sounds great to me, I’ll add this app for me to research more about and maybe create a profile on the next few days Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:45 PM
1

Thanks for replying… what do you think Plenty of Fish has that makes it different from other dating apps? I suspect it might have more people in the US and maybe not many people here in my area know this dating app exists
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:34 PM
1

If you’re insinuating that I’m the one that has a huge list of suitors, I should put you to discuss with the other guy here in these comments that is complaining that my selection criteria is too narrow… If you’re insinuating that who has a huge list of potential partners are the muscular guys from the profiles recommended to me by Hinge’s algorithm, then yes: that’s what I’m complaining about in my post
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:31 PM
1

What’s POF?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:25 PM
1

I don’t think I’m asking apps for “high quality consistent matches”… what I’d like would be for me to be able to see all the possible profiles that can fit my selection, with high or low ELO scores I disagree that the type of guys I like are more flaky than the muscular chads that keep being recommended to me by ELO algorithms… I think these muscular chads have more options and therefore are more flaky, I suspect the type of guys I like might be more flexible and settle because they’re not swimm…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:17 PM
1

What’s A/B testing? With whom this test is done? A friend?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 07:42 PM
1

What’s your age? If your friend already had time to be married and then divorce, then he’s probably over 30, that’s way above the age range I search for (early 20’s)… I would be interested in knowing the percentage of men in their early 20’s how many would be interested in being a fwb to a married woman… Also, I’d be interested in knowing which sub population would be more willing to be fwb with a married woman: muscular extroverted men or skinny shy men, because I suspect the first group has mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 07:33 PM
1

So, if I understood you right, there’s no solution for my situation… I’m not gonna lower my standards even further to include men that I’m not physically attracted to, since that wouldn’t make any sense, I’m not gonna increase the distance in radius because I don’t want the guy to be travelling to meet me (also, I can’t host) and I for sure can’t be travelling to meet him, I don’t have this kind of time and money… So, who do you think has bigger chances of liking ENM women? Muscular men or skinn…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 06:20 PM
1

The vast majority of Redditors are in the US and then after that, most other users are in countries that have English as an official language… in my area Reddit is not used much… Reddit is not a dating app and is full of anonymous profiles, so it’s easier to be scammed by bots, be catfished and etc… also, this profile I’m using now has too many harsh truths about me that will scare 99,9% of decent men
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 05:51 PM
1

But then I need to convince these guys to move the conversation to another app that has the video chat option and I get ghosted before that stage, so I don’t think that’s the solution either
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 05:05 PM
1

Wow, with all of that elaborate stuff I might end up liking to match with a bot or another… if they could send a good android to go on a date with me, I’d be signing up
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:58 PM
1

Hinge doesn’t have much space for writing what kind of relationship I’m looking for, when we do that, it shows with a really tiny font and like you said: most people skim through the texts and don’t read them attentively… Since 2024 I’ve had a couple of very good matches both on hinge and on Feeld, and I don’t think I should risk my reputation coming out as an ENM cougar by posting my face on a profile that does get a lot of likes and pings (like I said in my original post: I think the issue is …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:32 PM
1

If you read my other comments you can see that I’m trying to chat with the guys that 1-liked me first before I see their profiles, maybe they answered one of my prompts on hinge 2- don’t have shirtless pictures showing how muscular they are, because I’m not into muscular men 3- are younger and less experienced or state in their profiles that they are students (aka broke), etc… do you have other recommendations of what I should do to have better matches? A few weeks ago I could be more upset with…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:16 PM
1

Looking for guys IRL is difficult for me because 1- I’m in an open marriage and my husband and I want to keep our extramarital activities down low (we don’t want friends, neighbours, family or possible coworkers to know) and 2- I’m looking for significantly younger guys that have a completely different life than mine (I have kids, they usually don’t, etc) then it’s difficult to find a hobby in common for us and maybe it would be weird for me to have such hobbies? Also, making the time for me to …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:00 PM
1

Thanks for the recommendations! I’ll check them out, if there’s anyone in them here in my area (I checked “coffee meets bagel” and there was nobody in my country, just one guy in the neighbouring country, saying he would travel for me, but I don’t want anyone travelling for me)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:54 PM
1

Maybe I could like one specific desperate loser and try to make him happy for a while 🤞
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:50 PM
1

Cries in desperate loser with infinite free time
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:46 PM
1

In my hinge profile it’s stated in “non monogamous” and I have a very narrow age restriction that I’ve selected to be a “dealbreaker” - meaning I don’t even see/get seen by people outside of this age restriction, but I still don’t state everything (all my kinks and preferences, all about my situation with my life partner, etc) because I’m afraid of being recognised by friends/family and possible coworkers… My Feeld profile is the one that doesn’t show my face, my profile there is linked to my hu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:44 PM
1

Dating apps that show me only the “top” profiles are the problem and I’m pretty sure that 8 seconds looking at a guy’s profile is much longer than the 1-2 seconds that guys spend looking into women’s profiles… Idk if you’re going to say that I’m just a “pick me girl” or that I have “main character syndrome”, but I think I’m not the only woman that doesn’t want a muscular, rich, super extroverted, super tall, highly educated, etc etc for a casual relationship like fwbs… I think different women ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:30 PM
1

Yeah, Feeld is more niche and I feel like I’ve already seen all the options there that fit my criteria but also have one or another dealbreakers for me… and I feel that on Feeld a lot of the guys are too crazy/kinky for my taste…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 01:59 PM
0

Yes, just searching for something like a fwb, that can be for long term (like a couple years for example), but not committed, and also down low…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 01:54 PM
1

So you don’t recommend any solution like for me to try cold approach?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 01:51 PM
1

Ah yes, understood!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 01:47 PM
1

Very interesting point of view!! Thanks for replying, I’ll reflect on all of that
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 01:26 PM
1

What kind of behaviour did you understand that I’m looking for? (Just checking if I’m being clear and understood, not trying to be aggressive here)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 11:25 AM
0

I didn’t say “superior”, I said “my personal experience is more relevant to my personal problems” - do you deny that’s a fact?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 10:47 AM
1

Yeah, it baffles me 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 10:43 AM
1

So I should be swiping more to get guys with lower ELO scores? Because I’m doing that right now (compared to months ago when I wasn’t swiping much and lucked out on a match or two)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 10:41 AM
-1

Well, I made a post about my personal problems, so my anecdotes and experiences are more relevant to my personal problems, you chose to reply here, your didn’t necessarily need to comment on this post 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 10:39 AM
2

I feel a lot of empathy for men’s struggles on dating apps: a couple years ago I was helping a friend that is a guy on dating apps (helped him select photos, write bios, keep him motivated to keep on swiping and giving some ideas of what to write to the few matches he got so to be interesting) and many women’s behaviours were so frustrating that I was almost taking the red pill myself… but alas he got a gf after a while I don’t want a serious committed relationship, I’m searching for something m…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 10:32 AM
1

I’d like to just quickly add about these 2 guys that had trouble keeping erections: it was my second date with them because I have a rule that first date must be at a public place… but yes, I do understand nervousness and I’m really nice and forgiving with lack of erection One of these two guys was rude to me afterwards and abandoned me at a hotel room in a very bad way, so I’m not gonna send him messages anymore… the other one was nice to me all the time, I wanted him to relax and listen to mus…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 10:00 AM
1

Yeah, I see anonymous profiles (no real name, no descriptions and only completely black images) on Feeld, but then I just swipe them left and move on with my life, that’s not the problem… what I don’t understand is why so many guys are ghosting me
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 09:50 AM
2

If this is true, then why are men not answering to my messages? I’m definitely not having any fun: not during the swiping process, not while getting constantly ghosted
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 09:45 AM
-1

If dating apps are horrible for men just like we constantly read about here on PPD and they are good for women, then why would it be so unbalanced to have mostly men like that? I still think the ratios are different in different places like Northern Europe or in some other areas of the world with very traditional people and strong gender roles…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 09:42 AM
0

Well, I do agree that getting the actual data numbers nowadays that there are bots and OF advertising profiles amongst the real women is basically impossible… but I still think that Northern Europe (where I am) has better proportions than India or some other places of the world where people are more traditional and have stronger pressures to fit gender roles… that’s why I wanted to counter-argument that it’s 80/20… you also can’t prove to me that my dating apps where I am are 80/20, if it was, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 09:38 AM
1

I want to date outside my social bubble because my husband and I don’t want friends, family and possible employers/coworkers to find out our marriage is open
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 09:31 AM
1

If people wouldn’t get rewarded for having attractive profiles, wouldn’t that be good for a new dating app that could help not conventually attractive people to be able to match as well? Even if they’d need to pay… but if nowadays I basically only see muscular men, so where are the skinny shy guys? Hidden deep down these apps or completely opted out of the apps?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 09:29 AM
1

I’m not sure if you’re thinking that I’m a man and you’re saying I’m not extroverted and that I don’t have social/visual appeal 😭😭😭
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 09:21 AM
0

My profile on Feeld is attached to my husband’s profile, so I’m not an unicorn 🦄 😉 Your comment makes me think of two things: 1- wasn’t there a dating app just for women? “Her”? Maybe I should try that after I’m burned out of men 2- you said you never seen a man complain that he’s receiving attention from too many women… one of the 15 guys that are not replying to me right now is good looking and probably has a fit body because of the job he told me he has (he doesn’t have a shirtless picture li…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:59 AM
3

Okay, I understand your argument… if I am not investing on the muscular guys that look like they don’t need to pay, then I’m probably searching for one of the guys that look average and are paying a subscription, but then they are probably interested in just hooking up one or twice and not be 1-2 years meeting me regularly…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:35 AM
0

I’m ok with awkward, I’ve gone on a few awkward dates and then sent messages to the guys asking for more dates… if I include the guys that have gone on dates with me and know I’m a real woman and have my contact, then it’s 19 guys ghosting me instead of 15 The thing is: of these 4 guys that I’ve met, 2 are in relationships now and 2 other were having trouble keeping an erection when with me, so I understand they are ashamed to contact me again
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:23 AM
-1

I never dismiss a guy because he would be “average” (that’s exactly what I’m searching for) or “boring” (I put a lot of effort and try to make things interesting)… but you’re assuming that I want “quality” matches as if I’d be searching for a life partner (I’m not, I already have my life partner) Some guys write on their profiles that they are students to try to signal they don’t have much money and that’s a reason for me to swipe them right - I swipe left on guys flaunting wealth
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 08:11 AM
1

This is you explaining to me why I’m not finding anyone, right? You’re not recommending for me to watch porn or play videogames, if I understood you correctly
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 07:58 AM
1

Okay 😕 I’ve been thinking of another strategy then… to create a profile on “jodel” and then publicly asking folks in my area if anyone is interested in going on a date with me (and give a brief description of myself - no pictures), then I list the criteria I want in my suitors… I worry about my safety with this strategy and how many suitors I’d get (if they’d be high double digits it would be a lot of work to make the selection process)… This would be like when women posted on classified ads in …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 07:56 AM
0

I’ve been thinking of adding a video prompt in which I tie a knot on a spaghetti (an unusual skill I recently discovered I have), but I’d need my husband’s help to record this video, later I can ask for his help… Do you think having a video prompt in my hinge profile would help signal that I’m not a bot?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 07:43 AM
1

At least my profile doesn’t have Instagram handles (I don’t even use my Instagram much) or images of landscapes or cartoons… it does have a picture of a fancy plate I got at a fancy restaurant years ago
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 07:40 AM
1

“Not serious” - meaning someone that won’t really go on a date?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 07:37 AM
1

Ahh ok then…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:41 AM
1

You think I should try again, then? Cold approach a stranger - a young guy at a mall or something like that, when we’re all sober?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:39 AM
1

Well, tbh that time I tried approaching irl I meant “after having kids” instead of “once”, when I was young and thinner and more attractive I was approaching much more… but now I’m afraid that I’ll just creep the young guys out… I didn’t understand “I would have stopped 20 years ago”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:33 AM
-1

“Swiped on” I guess you mean “swiped right”… I think someone should create a dating app without ELO, I would be interested in it
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:28 AM
4

Thanks for replying, sorry for asking questions
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:25 AM
3

I’m not looking for an official relationship, I’m looking for something more like a fwb… The guys I’ve exchanged messages with didn’t even chat for long enough to masturbate physically, just a couple messages from both sides and then ghosting, then I feel that I didn’t even give them a reason to ghost me, it’s just that they really don’t care about checking the app and mostly forget that they even have it downloaded on their phones?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:22 AM
2

I would like to see these too skinny, skinflint, introverted and maybe even some of the short ones… you think they are not on dating apps at all? I tried to approach a guy that was working at my local supermarket and it went horribly for me, he either gave me a fake number or simply never replied to my text, so I’ve been feeling I shouldn’t try approaching irl again
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:17 AM
0

You think all dating apps have ELO? (Is that an acronym? What does it mean?) I think Feeld doesn’t have that, I think I can see all the profiles available that fit my search criteria
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:10 AM
-6

This info is outdated and also this data is specific to regions and countries. Where I am the imbalance is not that big…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:08 AM
–

Maybe could just say “being very negative or pessimistic”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:59 AM
–

What’s this hyperbolic thinking like? Generalising? Or exaggerating while telling stories?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:39 AM
2

Life just happened… I was travelling alone in 2012, I was staying at a hostel and then a group of Northern Europeans checked into the same room where I was, I started hanging out with them, I noticed that the guy with the big nose was into me (borderline ‘drooling while staring at me’ kind of stuff) Then we took a picture together, posted on Facebook, I linked the photo to my best friend and asked her “which one should I kiss? The young one or the one with the big nose?” She replied “the one wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 07:35 PM
2

I hope you’re right, because I do like some younger men ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 12:57 PM
3

There’s also some old stigmas at play, for example women being made fun of by saying that their intimate areas smell like fish and also body shaming for not being skinny or not being hairless like most women in porn… all these things make some women so self-conscious that they don’t let their partners give them oral :/ Yes, most men don’t even offer, some don’t offer and expect blowjobs :( but there are some that offer and unfortunately I’m the kind that is too worried and self-conscious that do…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 11:36 AM
1

I’ve had sex with quite a few guys and they had different personalities, different styles (some more active, some not at all, etc), different shapes and sizes. After all these experiences, plus the experiences alone playing with a sex toy, I’m now sure that I really don’t have a G-spot - the only way for me to have an orgasm is rubbing my clit… All that said, I think having sex can be quite pleasurable and stimulating, mostly because of the psychological aspects (that can have additional things …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 10:00 AM
7

The orgasm gap is real, unfortunately… some women are like me and don’t have a G-spot, anatomically speaking… also, dyspareunia is more common in women, especially if you don’t take into consideration the cases of dyspareunia caused by active STDs… also there are medical diagnosis for conditions such as “vaginismus”, that is mostly iatrogenic
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 09:19 AM
8

You talk as if people only watch the things being released this year, I think AI assisted stuff hasn’t been established enough to make a change in perception yet, it’s too recent… right now I have a 17yo aupair here in my house and I chat about movies and other entertainment media with her, she has watched things from before she was born, why wouldn’t she? Nobody is forbidding anyone to watch the more traditional stuff from say the early 2000’s (most of my favourite movies are from around 2005) …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 01:08 AM
2

It does occur to me that there must be some guys out there making efforts for some skinny pretty young girl, maybe it’s always one sided 🤷🏻‍♀️ And I do feel exhausted, but at the same time I don’t think I’ll ever take the black pill and stop pursuing, I’ll keep trying to find someone that will value me
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 06:28 PM
3

I constantly worry if the fact that I’m always the one to initiate and that I’m usually the one more invested, the one making proposals and decisions (for example: where to meet for the first time) in the beginning makes the men I go on dates with not value and not respect me :/ I definitely feel that I’m not valued
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 10:42 AM
1

I don’t think married men are their primary target, I think it’s lonely single men that are barely interacting with any women. Married men either have sex with their wives or many that are in sexless marriages cheat or go to prostitutes. Some single inexperienced men find real prostitution embarrassing and then they end up being targeted by OF ads
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 05:19 AM
1

This is the best answer I’ve read in this post :) I’m a woman that originally came from a third world country and then I married a Northern European man and now we live here. I agree with both lists of countries and I think men can have an easier time finding attractive and chill women from those countries like Colombia, etc because the women there are in these foreign men an opportunity to improve their lives… and that in the countries where women have gotten more equality things aren’t as equa…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 03:26 AM
3

In r/nonmonogamy they even use the abbreviation OPP for “one penis policy” when a man wants to be the only male partner but also wants to sleep around with women… I’ve never seen OVP for “one vagina policy”…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 06:41 PM
2

I couldn’t agree more 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I’m a woman in an open marriage and I’ve asked my husband if he’d like to try being with a man, he told me he’s not interested, but he wasn’t offended with my question, if he’d be the kind to be offended with the idea of being with a man, I wouldn’t be with him. This post is annoying me so much because so many people here are assuming that women in my position don’t want their husbands to actually sleep with other women… I try to help my husband as much as I can (for…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 06:38 PM
4

Feet? You like women’s feet?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 01:12 PM
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