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DicksOut4Edamame Archive

View 2 posts and 287 comments by DicksOut4Edamame on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

My ex wife moved she and my daughter in with her affair partner boyfriend, and didn’t tell me for three months (actually had to hear it from my kiddo), and they still reside with him some 4 years later. I’ve never met the dude. The only thing I need to know is that he isn’t harming my daughter, and the baby girl will tell me if he was. You likely will just have to become ok with it, until the ex decides you can meet him
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 09:24 PM
1

This was mine til I stopped caring
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 11:31 PM
1

Keep grinding man. You’ll get there
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 09:10 PM
17

Nah. Kinda wanna hug him. You’ll get there too. I’m so grateful for what he did. I was miserable in my first marriage. She was awful, her family was awful, and my life was awful as a result. The only redeeming part of that portion of my life was and is my beautiful daughter. The AP is still with my horrid ex wife. And I am now married to the woman I always wanted. She is so loving and caring it’s stupid. She goes out of her way to do for me each and every day that we have been together. She love…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 08:59 PM
7

Yay for generalizations!!!
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 06:02 PM
5

Come on OP, just break the law - yeah the law that’s already skewed against you. That will work!
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 06:41 PM
5

Sounds like you have a good woman, and you want us to give you excuses to fuck it up even more than you already have by cheating on her. The AP, if she knew you were married, isn’t a good woman. My advice: fix your shit, both yourself and your marriage. Take full accountability for stepping out on your wife and bust your ass to earn forgiveness. Rekindle what made you marry her in the first place and find out what’s making you make bad decisions. Did you lose attraction because she let herself g…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 07:22 PM
0

I’m shocked by the number of men who are staunchly in support of a side that largely looks at them as predators, while loathing Trump so vehemently, they can’t even parse out value in something he said. Something that men like myself have already taken out of their failed marriages/divorces.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 08:40 PM
4

Except he wasn’t offering advice on marriage or even his wife. Just explaining why he doesn’t have animosity for a woman who tried to bury him - he’s chosen to view it through the lens of the experience making him stronger
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 07:07 PM
3

Honestly man, if your gf can’t weather this storm, then she isn’t for you. Life fires all kinds of shit at us and our partners and us as a couple. The partner in your life should weather the storms with you. If she can’t, let her go
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 02:42 AM
15

Stop being a pussy! And when you get clear of all this shit and start dating again, make sure you don’t let other dudes fuck your woman. It isn’t healthy, it never works, and it reeks of a man who can’t keep his woman happy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 08:45 PM
33

I’m just blown away by the number of women stating they also wouldn’t have had their children. I fucking loathe my ex wife. She was awful to me and largely remains so. But that little girl I got from her is the absolute coolest, sweetest, funniest, most beautiful creature I’ve ever known. I’d go through endless marriages with my soul-sucking ex wife if it meant I get that little girl
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 02:01 PM
3

I’d get the fuck out and then in just a few months time come to realize that I was so silly to be scared, because being alone is far better than being with someone I don’t like or doesn’t make me more happy than not. I’d also buy something I always wanted. Something really nice (motorcycle, boat, nice bicycle, etc) and get good at that thing. I’d invest money and start some new hobbies so I could figure out what I really wanted for my future. Your best world is literally waiting for you beyond t…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 03:23 AM
2

Why did you guys divorce? And as far as connection goes, if yall divorced, clearly the connection you once had is no longer existent, so you have to find a new connection (if that’s what you want) anyway. I was still struggling two years after my divorce, and that marriage was only 4 years old and produced one child. Give yourself a break man. I can’t imagine 2 decades and 4x the amount of child attachments. The fact that you’re still with us, is a win itself and one you should be patting yourse…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 10:53 PM
1

My advice is to learn to love yourself. I mean, truly love yourself. The destruction my ex caused in my life/brain/heart legitimately nearly killed me - I wanted to die. But I stuck through it and learned to be kind to myself, appreciate what made me me. I forgave myself for things I’d done wrong in the marriage and vowed to get better at them. I overanalyzed every relationship that had ever failed to see where I had gone astray and abandoned myself. I learned to accept the things I hated about …
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 01:39 AM
11

Divorced at 34, married to a much better person, wife, etc, etc at 37. My wife is a partner; she cares about my well being, happiness, desires, goals, and everything in between. She’s truly the love I always hoped for and my ex wife never was and never could be. Grateful every day that my ex wife cheated on me and nearly destroyed me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:02 PM
3

Wait the 2 months, man. I pushed my divorce out 6 months to align with my ex getting a fancy new promotion. No CS since she was close income wise and I technically am custodial
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 01:03 AM
10

Tell her to get bent. She probably expected him (like my ex does with me) to drop everything he has going on to help her out, if she has something come up, regardless the little amount of time she gave him to rearrange things on his end. I’m the custodial parent, the better parent, and the parent my daughter relies on for comfort and everything else.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 09:58 PM
1

Coach is the shit
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 12:23 AM
7

Most of us in this sub have been right where you are. I was cheated on too and it all happened and came to light in a similar manner to the one you just described. Your marriage is over. File and get it over with. Get 50/50, Be there for your son and rediscover who you are when you don’t have him. You’re going to be ok. I promise And if you need anyone to vent, bitch, plain talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m serious. God bless, man
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 11:58 AM
11

I’m gonna be a bit more harsh and to the point than others have been. First, the marriage failing isn’t completely on you, bro. It takes two to make it work and it takes two to make it fail. And despite her failures, did you cheat? No. She did. Fuck that and fuck her Second, if you still want to get her back (you shouldn’t because she’s a fucking cheater), being her pen pal is just about the worst thing you could do to achieve that. She cheated on you because she sees you as a little bitch and b…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 03:20 PM
3

I kid you not, my ex’s dad said that to me verbatim, after I told him about his daughter having an affair. He’s as big a piece of shit as she is
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 02:42 PM
14

The gaslighting is always the worst part. They literally mindfuck you into doubting every single minute detail about your personality, choices, etc That was the hardest thing to get over. Not the affair, betrayal, abandonment. It was the gaslighting me into hating myself
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 04:12 PM
5

This is so fucking juvenile, I’m sorry. My wife and I were both single parents with 5 year old kids when we started dating. If I hadn’t given her a chance (because she’s in the same exact position I was) I would have missed out on the best partner I’ve ever had. She’s caring, kind, thoughtful and fun as hell. She loves me and tries every single day to show me that she does. Our kids are best friends and considered each other siblings before we’d even tied the knot. Now my wife and I are expectin…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 12:43 AM
1

Agreeableness and if she’s able to have fun. That’s it. That’s the list
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 12:17 AM
17

My ex wife is “fat fat” and it didn’t deter her from having an affair lmao
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 09:06 AM
5

OP, this ain’t it. We’re not talking a little weekend trip with her sisters. She’s traveling around the globe and either has a dude already in mind, or planning on seeing what’s out there with her gal pals, while you sit at home wondering. Ditch her
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 04:09 AM
8

Bro, divorce her. She’s going to meet some dude. I’m sorry, but married people don’t travel halfway around the globe without their spouses. You e already admitted she does what she wants, whether you like it or not. There’s no respect for you or your boundaries. If a woman doesn’t respect you, they do not love you
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 04:07 AM
5

Is it cbd or is it cannabis? How the fuck are you spending 1000 a month on cbd?
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 01:28 PM
10

Bro, I know it hurts like hell now, and you can’t possibly picture your life beyond her or think about her without being jealous. I’ve been there too. Now? Couldn’t be happier she did what she did all those years back. Not only do I see her for what she truly is, and feel sorry for the dude she’s with (affair partner), but I’m remarried to the coolest chick. My wife is supportive, fun, caring and loving. All things the ex wife couldn’t ever be for me. You’ll get there too. Not necessarily remarr…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 07:38 PM
1

Username semi checks out but needs stalking notation. 10 phones, my guy?! Stop. Immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 03:49 PM
14

Yes. Women are known for their reasoning and logical decision making.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 10:31 PM
6

Lmao you don’t get to decide what she does with him on her time, just like she doesn’t get a say in what yall do when you’re with him. Give up the need to have control, mate. It will serve you well for the next 16 plus years while your son grows
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 08:15 PM
19

Leave her. Kid is more important than getting your dick wet. Fucks sake, lads, your children are your priority
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 09:19 PM
14

3 months is nothing, man. Took me over two years to finally get clear. It was absolute hell before that, especially the first year. Be the bison: run through the storm, embrace the awful shit that life has given you in this moment and trudge through. Don’t run from it, run at it. Every time you ache, pick up some heavy shit and don’t stop until you’re too exhausted to do anything else. Start a hobby. Pray. Eat healthy. Etc. etc. Cry and scream and hurt all that you need to hurt. But always be mo…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 10:01 AM
16

I hate to say it, but I’d wager there’s someone else, mate. Stop everything you’re doing NOW. You cannot act like her husband, friend, anything. Go to the courts and file for divorce. This woman is done with you and is setting her playbook up. Don’t fall for her bullshit. Don’t believe anything she says. Don’t be her fucking backup plan.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 02:53 PM
5

She needs to move or it needs to be over. And if it does end, next time try not to marry anyone who doesn’t live where your kids do. Holy shit
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 06:54 PM
12

Saving the diamond in it for my daughter when she gets a bit older. I’ll have a jeweler put it into a necklace. It makes sense anyway, since the only good thing that came from my marriage was my baby girl.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 06:21 PM
2

Dope idea
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 06:19 PM
7

Yeah don’t listen to him mate. These aren’t biblical times where you could just go whoop some ass and call it a day lmao. You’ll get an assault charge, and like you said, your girls need their dad. Look at it like I do now (my ex’s AP is still with my ex wife and lives with my kiddo): he did me a favor. My ex wife is a miserable cunt who did nothing but drag me down. She wasn’t affectionate, she let herself go, etc, etc. Would I love to punch a hole through his skull? Absolutely. Can I do so wit…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 03:07 PM
7

You’re not coming back together. We all thought our wives would come back “once they figure out they’re going to blow everything up.” They aren’t going to figure it out. They’ve already blown it up. Time for you to pick yourself up, brush the debris and damage off, get your ass divorced, get to fixing yourself, get fit, stack cash and go be the you you’ve always wanted to be. You’ll get through this shit bro, and we’ll always be here if you need us. We’ve all been there and we all came out not j…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 06:19 PM
22

Sometimes I wonder how men came to be portrayed in arts as mega stupid, and then I come across posts like this and realize men ARE that stupid
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 04:48 AM
7

Jesus Christ, man. You sound like a ton of the women who divorced the men in this sub, because of their little feelings Love the one you’re with. Love isn’t the fuzzies, you 13 year old teenage girl. Love is the effort you put in every single day to be the partner your partner deserves. Grow up, OP
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 05:02 AM
1

She thinks feminism is stupid. You’re the one who called her one. Not me. If she is one, she’s the first iteration, but understands she already has the same rights as men and doesn’t need to proclaim her feminism. You’re being purposely obtuse. Enjoy boning your uppity, “I’m just as strong as a man” feminists that you like. Couldn’t give two shits about it, nor do I care to continue this bullshit conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 12:22 AM
-1

She’s a true feminist, not the third wave bitch feminist that exists today. I make all of the important decisions and when we disagree on something, I am the one who makes the final say on whatever it is. She knows if she ever challenges that, I walk.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 12:16 AM
0

My wife wants sex more than I do, so I get plenty and then some. She also loves giving me head and she’s quite good at that as well. She also thinks feminism is stupid and she loves being a mom, both to her son and my daughter. She works too, but she much prefers taking care of us versus earning money for her asshole boss
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 12:10 AM
4

Modern feminism is fucking cancer
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 03:11 PM
2

This ain’t it OP
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 03:15 PM
2

51/49 since I’m the custodial, but we split time 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 11:14 PM
10

OP, don’t know what else to tell you but you don’t belong in this sub…. Everyday, I read countless posts and comments from fellow dads who are desperately trying to fight for their children, and as much time with them as they can get. They are forking over tens - if not hundreds - of thousands of dollars on lawyer fees to insure their babies know how much their daddy loves them. Numerous men on here have typed on tear-soaked devices begging for answers and support because they are thinking about…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 04:24 PM
4

You didn’t lose any of that mate. Your soul mate wouldn’t leave you. That’s the literal definition of a soul mate
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 09:19 PM
8

Black widows feast on the dudes after sex. Females across the entire animal kingdom are vicious lmao
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 04:58 PM
10

Your boy needs YOU more than he needs money. Don’t leave him. Just don’t.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 12:19 AM
15

For me it wasn’t the ex that kept me in it, it was my daughter. I wanted to keep her family together, even after finding out about the affair. Luckily, my ex wife didn’t have that same mindset, because I didn’t realize how much better life would get after the divorce. My ex wife bled me of all that makes me, me
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 06:32 PM
7

This is the only answer.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 12:29 AM
1

Well good news is that you won’t find many women who outweigh your ex, so your dating pool is almost as massive as she is.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 09:16 PM
3

6’1” 300 isn’t “curvy.” She’s a planet.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 07:33 PM
1

OP, the real question is if your wife has stopped pegging you over the election results?? If not, I suppose the threat about not accompanying you for your eventual parents’ funerals is just a threat
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 04:55 PM
11

I’m so glad someone said this. OP’s sentiment has reached critical mass. Good grief, turn off the cable news
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 09:48 AM
14

Honestly, bro? Good! Good that she’s given you all the info you require to move on from this fucking awful train wreck of a human being and start building the life you want right away. You are valuable and worthy of love and effort. Find someone who treats you like that and better yet, start treating yourself like that
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 11:03 PM
2

Get out. Stay fucking single lmao
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 09:26 AM
5

It was mainly her fucking another dude that did us in
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 07:39 PM
6

I wouldn’t call mine healthy, but we’re at 50/50 and I’m technically the primary parent on court docs, so fuck the healthy part. Couldn’t care less about that bitch, I just wanted my little girl
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 03:18 PM
11

My ex wife’s physical affair started off as an emotional one. Once you let that wedge in, it only grows stronger and widens the gap between you and your spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 04:42 PM
5

Hey mine too!
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 06:51 PM
1

Count me in
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 05:07 AM
4

You don’t know. She’s having an affair, fellow Utah bro. File in West Jordan 3rd district court, and file for 50/50 custody. You’ll likely get it as most of the judges in that court are default 50/50 supporters. Feel free to DM me with any questions. Let that cheating bitch go and keep being a kick ass dad. Good luck, god bless, and much love bro
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 01:27 AM
8

💯 It gave me my daughter and she is the coolest kid in the universe. I’d wager there’s many of us in here with the same feeling. It’s almost like kids are great and women suck lmao
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 09:42 PM
13

Bro, it DOES get better. I was on an eerily similar timeline as you with regard to my own separation and divorce and still felt like shit some days, as far as 2 years and 3 months after “I think we should separate.” On those shit days, I tried to remind myself how far I’d come - even the shitty days weren’t as bad as the shit days early on. It’s all a process, man. I started practicing radical acceptance of everything that had transpired and giving myself grace and understanding when I felt awfu…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 11:02 PM
10

A soul mate wouldn’t leave you
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 02:47 PM
1

So much this lol.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 06:06 PM
7

This is really all the advice you need OP. Please heed it with haste. Every second you wait is detrimental to you
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 06:04 PM
3

Guys, he’s also subbed to r/muslimmarriage so he’s probably right, but only because they basically own their wives
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:03 AM
25

She was fucking her current bf while we were married, so counting backwards….. -6 months lol
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 11:28 PM
8

Nothing happens to anyone that he is not fitted by nature to bear
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 10:30 PM
1

🙏🏽💪🏽🍻
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 05:05 PM
3

Fuck forgiving her. But you do need to move past her and the shit she did. Become the man you want to be every single day and the shit she said/did won’t matter. You’ll come to find her bailing on you as a blessing. And don’t you fucking dare ever again think someone else’s opinion of you is more valuable than your life! Got it?! God bless, OP. Onward and upward
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 03:01 PM
21

Sounds like a good dude, and you’re being a little bitch
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 10:25 PM
5

Nah. I don’t wish strangers a happy birthday
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 02:05 PM
3

Coach Greg FTW
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 05:54 PM
1

Father’s Day has gotten infinitely more special for me since separation and divorce. That woman robbed me of any joy I could muster up, especially on days that were supposed to be about me. My weekend was filled with love, appreciation and special gifts from my loved ones. My girlfriend treated me to an entire weekend of fun and had my daughter and her son hand-make gifts for me. I’m so grateful my ex wife did what she did to me all those years ago. I’ll never be able to repay her for giving me …
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 04:40 PM
3

Not to be rude, but you can’t possibly be THAT picky with women, if you’re still unable to completely cut the cord with the should be ex wife, whether due to moral reasons or not.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 06:44 PM
1

Actually met the old fashioned way and clicked almost immediately just chatting with one another about life
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 10:01 PM
4

Nah it is. It’s why when you kill a pregnant woman you get charged with two counts of murder
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 12:18 AM
3

Still disagree
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 12:17 AM
2

Disagree
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:59 PM
4

My man! I am also far on the other side and used to be exactly where you were, as well - considered ending it many times during the separation and divorce proceedings. I hung strong, with help from loved ones, friends, a men’s group I joined, this group, and a ton of persistence on my part. My reward for the almost 6 years with that awful woman, is my beautiful baby girl who adores me, a new career and increased income along with, and a gorgeous, thoughtful, communicative and understanding woman…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 01:36 AM
5

Amen. Hopefully the affair partner relationship blows up spectacularly
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:47 PM
6

Mine was always a bitch. Gonna keep holding on to that lmao
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 06:34 AM
3

Hahaha glad to provide you with a laugh and some advice all in one. Stay the course, mate. You’ll get to a point someday where you look back and laugh about all of it and be grateful for what transpired. I’d hate for you to fall back into the trap and have to go through this shit all over again, which I truly feel like she’d do to you. You deserve better, bro
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 06:16 PM
18

Move on. Never look back. Don’t be stupid. We all want our families back, but we all came to realize that those families - and the dynamics that made them families - no longer exist. You can’t put back together what she broke. Don’t be stupid
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 02:17 PM
14

We’re all saying the same thing to OP, cuz we’ve all fucking been in the same shoes. It’s truly haunting. There’s ALWAYS another fucking dude. They don’t do this otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 09:07 AM
11

Oh also, you’re going to be ok. You’re going to make it. You’re going to come out stronger. You’re worth more than she’s treating you like you are right now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 01:16 AM
19

I want to prepare you for what is likely to come. I’d wager there’s a male orbiter that has come into the picture (not necessarily an affair yet). Old friend, coworker, etc. Your best course of action is to turn the other direction and never look back. Especially if it is your goal to get her to change her mind. She won’t reconsider unless you’re moving on. Stop begging, stop calling/texting, stop “communicating.” Go radio silent. Sounds counter intuitive, but that’s how women work. If you do fi…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 01:13 AM
8

Yes. And my sister. They both started to see through her complete awfulness as a human and she had to start causing issues between my family so they couldn’t get through to me
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 01:37 AM
3

When I found out about the “other guy” hahaha
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 10:31 PM
21

This will sound hyperbolic, but this sub was paramount to me literally choosing to stay alive during some days of my separation and ultimate divorce. Support, camaraderie, people to vent to. Truly a god send for me and likely so many others. It’s one of the best places on all the internet, imho and I’m grateful for the advice and guidance I got and get to pay forward occasionally. Onward and up, gentlemen
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 08:21 PM
4

r/iamverybadass
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 04:27 PM
3

The post and every response you’ve made in the thread reads so much like you still care. I have no desire to “stick it” to my ex wife. I couldn’t care less about what she’s doing, trying to plot some scheme, or otherwise and the fact you are is pretty sad. “MWAHAHAHAHA!”
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 04:25 PM
7

I wouldn't. She wants space from you? OK, you can have your space from me, but then you don't get the perks either.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 09:27 PM
10

Women hate being talked to like men get talked to...
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 08:19 PM
4

Sorry to touch a nerve there. I also bought a motorcycle, something the kiddo loves riding on with me. I got into excellent shape - ex was always chunky and still is. What I’m saying is you can find new and exciting things for JUST YOU too. Continue doing all that other shit as well, cuz fuck her. She doesn’t own those activities
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 05:42 PM
2

We’ve all been where he is. Life is so good once you clear the mountain
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 05:04 PM
2

Brings up another perk….walk around butt ass naked whenever and for however long you want.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 05:00 PM
8

Living alone is absolutely wonderful. Feel like playing a new video game til 2 am? Done. Slice of cheesecake for dinner? Yep. New collectibles you want to display? Throw em up wherever you want. It’s heaven
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 04:57 PM
5

Best decision I ever made was divorcing that piece of shit
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 08:42 PM
3

I don’t think she did. I think she tried to, but she was never the type of partner I wanted, but I lied to myself. My ex wife was never going to be the wife I want. I’m so grateful that she cheated on me. I’d have never left her and become a shell of who I am out of frustration and being starved of all things spousal connection
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 10:43 PM
4

Currently in my next real relationship and I can honestly say it is better in every way - better communication, more fun, more trying on her part than the ex wife ever tried, and the best sex I’ve ever had. She genuinely cares about me and my well-being. It isn’t all about her in our relationship and she is nurturing and affectionate. It’s the complete opposite that my ex wife was
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 10:10 PM
1

Block
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 01:07 PM
8

This isn’t the place for you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 12:41 AM
2

I got a high capacity digital recorder pretty cheaply and just plugged it into the computer each week to download all the recordings. I had to charge it each day to ensure it was good to go whenever I needed it. It may be a pain, bro, but trust me, it is worth it
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 04:04 PM
2

Record everything. Hopefully you live in a state that doesn’t require consent to record conversation? My state doesn’t and I started recording every interaction with my ex during the separation and then divorce
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 03:38 PM
3

If you truly feel it is better for your babies to be with you majority of the time, you fight for that. Your job is to provide your children the best lives possible. And removing them from emotionally abusive settings aims to do just that God bless bro. And good luck
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 03:11 PM
5

I picked up a few new hobbies. Blew some cash on fun stuff - motorcycle, moto parts, drone, etc. It all allowed me to tinker away on stuff with my hands, which allowed me to escape the awful place that was my head, for a few moments. Now, I still have the hobbies and have picked up even more and I couldn’t care less about the cheating ex wife. You, too, will be ok. Chin up and soldier on, mate!
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 04:09 PM
11

I take any extra time with my daughter than I can get. Couldn’t care less if it helps my bitch ex wife out - that’s not what it’s about. It’s about any second of additional time I can get with that little beauty queen
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 09:25 PM
7

My ex moved her and our kiddo in with her affair partner and I didn’t find out about that for a couple months, when the kiddo told me about “mommy’s friend” living with them. The relationship continues, almost a year and a half later. There’s nothing you can do about it. Just like there was nothing I could do about it. Enjoy the time you have with your kiddo - hopefully you have 50/50 like I do?? God bless, man
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 09:46 PM
4

Do not do holidays together, if you don’t want that. You’re NOT a family anymore, and that was her choice. To answer your question about grieving, it is difficult, but once you accept that you tried your best and she made the choice to blow it up, you can move to a point of being grateful for the time you do have with your kids and that you get to decide what happens with that time 100%. It’s nice not having to accommodate an awful parent (my ex) who wants to dictate how everything goes with the…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 04:31 PM
6

Realizing that motivation is irrelevant. Set a goal and follow through on it. Be disciplined — for yourself and your children
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 03:55 PM
2

Legit had me laughing
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 04:27 PM
7

Normally, I'd agree with this sentiment, but not when there are children involved. Do what's best for your children, and that means not moving away from them, OP
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 09:22 PM
5

My advice is even more relevant then - grey rock HER
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 05:44 PM
2

Truth be told, I just hid my ex wife in the photo app and it just hid all the pictures it could pull with her face in them. I didn't want to delete them, because, like you said, my baby girl is in many of them and some day it wouldn't hurt to look at them. Fast forward to now, and it doesn't hurt anymore, and I'm glad I didn't delete any that included my daughter. I did ultimately get rid of the ones of just my ex wife, because those all seem like a delusion (she cheated). I suggest you find a w…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:40 PM
8

On a serious note though, let's all just grey rock OP and stop replying to him. He seems as narcissistic as many of the wives I've heard about in this sub
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:33 PM
6

OP, after reading all your replies, it's clear you're superior to all of us subbed here. Congratulations! Everyone, say it with me: ALL HAIL u/True-Storm-5959
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:31 PM
3

Absolutely nothing. I was staying because I didn’t want to miss out on my daughter. My ex wife was a selfish taker. She provided nothing until she cheated and gave me a divorce. Ironic that the only thing she ever gave me of value was the exit from a marriage to her Still miss my kiddo when I don’t have her, but she and I are two peas in a pod
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 05:46 PM
6

Sounds like heaven
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 02:03 AM
6

Kevin, I hope she lets you smash
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 10:48 AM
2

Unfortunately no. The ex wife is a moron who wants to be the best friend instead of a decent parent
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:03 AM
2

And if it isn't physical, I'd bet substantial money that it's emotional cheating
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 04:48 PM
1

She wanted ti "give it another go" so she'd have someone to provide her the things OP provides. That's it -- period. What OP should do with this vital time where he is primary caregiver, is to file and go for more custody than 50/50. The marriage has been over for months, and she's getting her ducks in a row before she can comfortably eject when she's ready.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 04:46 PM
6

lol I love this sub
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 04:42 AM
2

Just wanna say God Bless you and good luck with all of this shit. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. It’s not fair and I’m so sorry. For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you and how you’re handling this. I know that sounds cheesy, but I’m sure no one has said that to you in a long while. Keep your head up and realize none of this is your fault. It’s your human garbage of an (ex)wife. You’re a good man
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 08:38 PM
7

I’m there myself, mate, and have a girlfriend currently. We’ve been dating for about 7 months now and I always go to her place. She’s aware of the situation and having gone through the same herself, she’s been understanding. Have a conversation with this girl, if you guys are to that point and if shes not understanding of your predicament, honestly, she probably isn’t a good fit. But don’t be ashamed of rebuilding your life by any means necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 07:46 PM
17

You both sound like train wrecks and the only one I feel badly for is your child. Good grief
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 04:26 PM
12

I just want to reply to the “young enough it won’t have a serious impact” thing It’s complete and utter horseshit. OP, I’m not telling you what to do one way or the other, but to try to say you being absent from her life after almost 5 years in it won’t have an impact is absolutely irresponsible. Holy shit. My dad (real biological dad) and my mom separated when I was 2 and I saw him two times in between that day and when they decided to divorce 3 years later. He’s been gone ever since. It has ha…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 04:44 PM
4

Ok so yeah, your wife is a non-empathetic drama queen, got it
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 05:07 PM
6

Don't mean to sound like an asshole, but you're right, you ARE a CHUMP! This broad cheated on you and your kids with some random dude, tossed your family life totally out the window so she could feel another man inside her, denied and lied about it, gaslighted the fuck out of you to make you out to be crazy and irrational, etc, etc, etc. Then when she finally did break down and tell you, felt ZERO REMORSE. And what happens the second she goes through a difficult time? You play savior and come in…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 05:43 PM
3

You got divorced a year ago, and are already getting remarried?! You sir, are a moron
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 05:02 PM
9

How could you think this would pass as anything but a troll post? Get out of here
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:02 PM
14

Nah go ahead and vent, mate. That wasn’t my intent to make you feel like that. I just mean, we’ve all felt these pains and unfortunately there will be more of them. Embrace what the pain shows about yourself and allow it to mold you. You WILL heal
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 12:03 AM
14

Sorry you’re in pain. At least you don’t have to listen to your child talk about the things she does with the man who your ex cheated on you with Onward and up, brother
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 11:17 PM
6

2 hour old account to boot
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 06:49 PM
9

OP, you’ve got to do this. Do not sign that birth cert before you know it’s yours
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 03:02 PM
3

Good grief, you’re serious aren’t you? Lol
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 03:28 PM
7

That's all fine and good, but Goggins isn't offering advice about relationships in the linked video. The advice is about what to think and do when your wife wants out, and his answer is absolutely spot on accurate...."Fuck her!" He goes on to add that there's plenty of women who would be appreciative of the man that she is leaving, and he's also accurate there
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 11:31 PM
8

The other part is that she has interest in another man, who she sees as better than you. I’m not saying she’s slept with him or started dating him already - just that she’s identified another man as a target. Women don’t leave men without having another in the wings, at the very least
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 05:40 PM
3

Likely not. She’s more likely bringing him into the house lol
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 07:24 PM
35

I have good news, amigo....the pain DOES go away. Some day, she'll be nothing more than some person you used to know. How do I know? Because I loved my ex wife more than anything else in the entire world. Now? She's just some stranger who I happen to share a child with. Couldn't care less what happens to the ex wife, so long as it doesn't affect my beautiful daughter Hang in there buddy. Feel everything you need to, work on yourself, and just keep going.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 06:27 PM
40

This will sound mega sexist, but I don't care. We tell men to wait - to work on themselves - because most men value self improvement and becoming the best versions of themselves. Our sex is constantly seeking ways to get stronger, make more money, and become better than we were the day before. We fix, repair, build, etc. Women are not like this By taking that year to focus on themselves, men are becoming their best selves. They are learning to live for them. It sets them up to become the bad ass…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 04:07 PM
23

It is hard, but it's the truth. Time to stop worrying about someone who clearly isn't worried about you. You and your kids are your priority. Your stbx wife is now your arch nemesis - and from the sounds of it - will absolutely try to take your children away from you. It's war time, man. God bless
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 03:32 PM
4

I say this with care: If you still care this much about your ex-wife, you have zero business getting married to someone else. Holy fuck, man! It's been 6 years! The only thoughts of my ex-wife revolve around our daughter and the fact that she never wants to go to her mom's house, because she's now draining my 5-year-old baby instead of me Move the fuck on, mate. Who gives a fuck what she did or why she did it, outside of determining if your child is actually YOUR CHILD
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 04:11 PM
8

Because man bad, woman good
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 08:49 PM
3

I did the motorcycle thing as well. Fuckin awesome! My first bike ever and I’ll never go back to a life without riding
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 08:42 PM
36

And will remain so until she finds another Plan A
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 08:31 PM
13

OP, fuck everything above and divorce her. There’s no such thing as “just sex” especially with women. Chances are your should be stbx wife had contact with this dude long before you separated and once she had a hint that she could hop aboard the cock express, she asked for separation so she could keep you on the back burner while she tested out the long term viability with Mr Cock Express. He got the locomotive all oiled up and dipped afterwards, leaving her to look immediately back to ol reliab…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 08:28 PM
20

This is it. She banged the dude, he got what he wanted out of her and then bounced, now she’s back for the loyal backup.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 08:07 PM
4

Anyone else wondering why the fuck so many women are posting on the sub recently? Like wtf is going on?
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 03:29 AM
9

Brother, I totally get it, and I’ll tell you…once you get through the darkness - and it gets fucking dark - your life becomes so much better. My daughter was 2 when my wife blew it all up with the affair. She’s now 5. I got 50/50 and and am custodial parent. I put my all into my kiddo and our relationship. Due to all the work I put in, my kiddo adores me. I am her absolute favorite. She never wants to go with mommy and her mom just doesn’t have a clue. And even when I hear about the funny stuff …
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 12:57 PM
105

I say this with love, and as someone who also had a wife who cheated and is still with affair partner - you have no other choice than to move on. THIS is happening and it is your life now. She has made her choice and whether she regrets it in the future or not (50/50 shot anyway) there's no way you could or should trust this woman again. The only thing you have left is to get to the best possible you that you can - improve in every single way and bust your ass to get there. You'll be better off …
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 09:48 PM
3

Yep my daughter tells me about the funny stuff Cameron says. I just have to get excited for her that she’s happy with him, even though he’s the affair partner
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 06:10 PM
8

This made me chuckle and I realize just how good I am now, after my ex wife did the same. It was quite the journey, but I’m thankful she cheated. I was stuck in an awful marriage to someone who really never did love me
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 02:11 PM
5

Best way to get her to change her mind, is to just move forward with the divorce and go 180 method in her. It's truly the best shot you have is to make it reality for her and then live like it, til she either changes her mind or you are in fact living a separate life
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 08:34 PM
2

Thank you, man! My life is so happy now. I can’t imagine being married to her still. I was so miserable and I just didn’t know it. I recently looked back through some photos and realized you could see the pain behind my eyes in all the pictures from the latter half of my marriage. She had depleted me. I was surviving and nothing else. My brightness and lightness are back. My smile - even my teeth - look happier somehow. It’s crazy I hope you’re doing well with wherever you are in your journey. B…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 01:56 PM
2

Congrats, my friend! You are human. There’s nothing wrong with you. Matter of fact, your emotions show just how normal and healthy you are. You felt and loved and lost and are now experiencing the emotional fallout from losing all of that. I have good and bad news… Good news is some day you are going to feel better. You’re going to look back and see how much better off you are. You’re going to be happy again Bad news? To get to all that above stuff, first you have to suffer through what you’re g…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 01:45 PM
24

She cheated bro, I’m sorry. Most of us in this sub have been there and we also lied to ourselves about it - me included. And it wasn’t a series of unfortunate events. That’s life! Life is filled with a series of unfortunate events and the point of having a partner is having someone to face them with and grow through them with. That wasn’t your ex wife. She was always going to do this to you, because unfortunate events were always going to happen to you - if it wasn’t Covid and weight gain, it wa…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 05:59 PM
18

Holy fuck this!!! Hahaha
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 05:26 PM
9

So absolutely shitty and even shittier that this isn’t atypical
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 03:04 PM
3

Optimize? Just be yourself and be confident in who you are. You are a catch and just because your ex didn’t see it, doesn’t mean others won’t. My ex wife cheated on me and is still with her affair partner. It fucked me up. For the first time ever, I felt ugly and undesirable. My sister is the one who finally broke through to me, reminding me how easy I’d always had it with girls. Once I shook the rust off and had sex for the first time, I realized I still had it. This girl was sexy as hell and k…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 10:47 PM
8

How attractive? To my ex wife - a 3 lol. To other women, many of whom are much better looking and in better shape than my ex - anywhere from a 7-8. I've always had tan skin and an athletic build, but I'm on the short side, 5'8". I got into really good shape during the separation and divorce because I work out whenever I miss my daughter (which is all the time lol). I meet em all over. Coffee shop, grocery stores, my daughter's dance studio (I asked out one of the dance teachers there). Honestly …
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 10:16 PM
11

I'm 36 and a single father. Yes, we are absolutely wanted. By women of all ages and parental statuses. Hell, I had a girl give me her phone number at the grocery store after watching my daughter and I chase each other around. Chicks eat good dads up
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 09:22 PM
2

Wait, what are you doing here? You have your own space
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 02:34 AM
18

I hope that orca fucking wrecks the bitch. So sorry mate. You’ll get through this
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 01:47 AM
9

Mine did though. She’s still with the dude. I’m not sure what he sees in her. She’s kind of a walking train wreck, but he’s paying half her bills, they are going on trips with my kiddo when they have her, etc. I used to hope she’d crash and burn out there after she cheated on me with this dude, but he apparently actually cares for her. I don’t really care anymore, but still makes me wonder sometimes what’s up with him
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 05:59 PM
10

Doesn’t seem to be, but why else would he go for an overweight single mom who’s in debt?
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 04:50 PM
12

My ex wife found another guy, even though we have a kid. She actually found him while we were still married lol. He has zero baggage and seems to care for her. It is what it is. Everything else you said rings true for me though. She loathes my existence and would not only drive past me, like you mentioned, but she’d likely back up so she could run me over
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 04:46 PM
5

Mine is so fucking cool, I had to keep it. But I don’t look at it so I don’t know that my decision makes sense lol. But it’s a black tungsten carbide ring with Darth vaders helmet etched into it!
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 07:33 PM
2

Nah I doubt it. But it’s ok. Not my problem anymore
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 04:10 AM
3

Oh definitely this too. He’s not supporting her through school, while being a killer father - essentially a single father at that since she was always busy with school that last year of marriage. He doesn’t have to juggle holidays with her, since his family doesn’t live here and she isnt really seeing hers that much anymore. He isn’t dealing with a miscarriage (or two like I painfully endured during our marriage), since she’s decided to be done having children. She’s also not looking up his fath…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 03:27 AM
11

Their relationship seems to be flourishing, but he’s got it on easy mode and so does she. She doesn’t have to be a full time mom, so she puts him first when I’ve got our kiddo. I’d like to think it will collapse, but it isn’t looking likely at this point in time. Ah well, she treated me like shit, so at least I’m free of her tyranny
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 01:25 AM
10

My ex is doing all the things for her current boyfriend - the man she cheated on me with
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 01:11 AM
4

I’m sorry bro. My family loathes my ex wife. My sister has said awful shit to her face when she was handling child exchanges for me, since the bitch ex wouldn’t stop lying to me about moving her affair partner in with our kiddo and she. I’m fairly certain if I asked or even hinted that I wanted the ex wife dead, my sister would probably do it lol. We’re the ride or die kinda family though
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 03:41 AM
1

Might be too much info, but the woman I’m dating and I were getting “physical” and she says this to me, “what can I do to make YOU feel good?” Almost lost it there. Ex wife never gave two shits about my needs, wants, goals, successes, etc, etc, etc. it was all about how I could change and do for her
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 01:49 PM
4

Me too. It’s over OP. Get moving on
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 11:11 PM
1

Preach!
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 08:48 PM
3

I do let the ladies touch it though hahaha
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 08:48 PM
2

Hahaha thank you, kind sir
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 08:47 PM
73

They don't even want you back when you bounce back, because I have bounced back monumentally...I'm down to 15% body fat at age 36, my abs show when I'm just sitting there, I got a ridiculous new job making 6 figures (40k above what I made when with her) that treats me like a king and allows me to come and go as I please, I'm an even better father than the incredible dad I was when with her, and I'm fucking cooler too with a motorcycle and new truck. I'm improved in every way, including how I tre…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 06:22 PM
2

Mine still has my last name too. I was a terrible abusive husband and she cheated on me, but let's keep the last name. It doesn't matter anymore - she can do what she wants
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 09:56 PM
23

Facts. The dude is baggage free as far as I know and willingly financially supporting an overweight, debt ridden single mom who cheated on her husband with him. Simp City out there y’all
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 07:40 PM
36

Nah. She’s still with her monkey branch, who seems to be a decent dude with a good head on his shoulders. My kid loves him too. Karma isn’t real and cheating doesn’t always come around. You can cheat and come out ok or even great. Ah well, my life has improved in every way but romantically, so it isn’t all bad
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 03:41 PM
2

I already have a child with her and don’t pay CS. Also wouldn’t mind paying CS if it meant I had a second child
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 01:13 PM
2

I disagree. Kindly fuck off
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 01:10 PM
4

Thanks. The real kicker is I don’t know if it was mine or the affair partners. It’s a shit sandwich every which way
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 12:51 AM
7

Fuck. That. I can’t answer your question, as my ex wife murdered the baby that she was pregnant with during our separation. Still roughs me up when I think about it
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 08:46 PM
5

Female partners suck don’t they?
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 07:00 PM
6

My opinion, terrible person, but you do you. Most of us have been the guy she walked away from and to know I was the “other dude” would make me feel awful about myself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 07:26 PM
2

If you pass through SLC, let’s ride and grab some grub
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 06:19 AM
19

Especially them
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 10:50 PM
2

Oh yeah my ex despised/despises my mom too. Treated her like absolute garbage almost the entirety of our marriage. And my mom is not like most MIL. She was the only one to support my ex when we had the uh oh pregnancy three months prior to the wedding, buying her a care package and comforting her when all her family did was shame her for how it would make them look to the ward members and neighbors that their daughter got pregnant out of wedlock. She always offered care and support when my ex wa…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 01:22 PM
5

Does your ex also blame her parents and siblings for the issues in those relationships? My ex has a strained relationship with her folks especially and every time she explained it, it was their fault. They didn’t care for her, they didn’t love her enough, etc, etc. Zero accountability in any facet of her life.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 01:15 PM
6

Holy fuck this hits too close…. Able to own her mistakes? No. Everybody else to blame? Check. Civil discussions? Nope she stonewalled Real friends? Nada. We did have compatible sex drives, but trust me OP, it doesn’t compensate. You need the other stuff more than the sex.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 11:46 AM
1

I think you're where I'm at, OP...You don't miss her, you miss the life you'd created and mapped out with her in mind. You can still have that, it will just look a bit different and be with a different (read better, healthier, more loving) wife. ​ God bless, and reach out if you need to chat
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 10:14 PM
3

This is how I feel. It’s just something we tell ourselves to make us feel better. My kiddo isn’t fond of “going round and round” (how she describes going back and forth between mommy and daddy’s houses). She gets sad every time she has to part ways with me, like this morning when mom came to get her. No one will ever be able to tell me that this outcome is what’s best for her. It was best for mom, and that’s why mom stepped out and cheated and blew the marriage up. Mom cares about mom. Kid is su…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 05:14 PM
8

Don’t bet on that lol
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 06:15 PM
-4

Not necessarily on that final point you made. My ex cheated on me and moved him into the apartment with her and my kiddo and it’s going really well for them. Kiddo loves the dude, he seems to be pretty good to her, and the relationship is going well for the ex and he. We gotta stop planting these ideas that things will for sure end. It’s false hope
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 09:19 PM
3

Op, the answer is simple: What do you want? Go for that. Oh also: you should want 50/50 because you’re as important to those kids as she is
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 02:12 PM
7

OP, this is all good advice minus the sentence “eventually she will come crawling back to you…” Don’t for a second think this is true. She won’t come back. I was told this line or variations so many times and it caused me to have hope that she’d see my value and return. She’s moved completely on with her affair partner and I’m still mired in emotional shit. They rarely come back and I doubt yours is any different. Move on and be blessed, OP
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 11:14 AM
8

Great question. You don’t know. I thought my ex wife was all of those things and more. She changed continually for the worse over the 4 years we were married into a completely unrecognizable person than when we were first married. Don’t do it, OP
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 09:30 PM
1

Mine wasn’t awarded success on her own but her affair partner is paying half her bills. I don’t really get what he sees in her honestly. Slightly overweight single mom with a ton of emotional baggage.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 02:39 PM
2

Please do this to the letter if you want your wife to realize her mistake. Don’t veer from this path either unless she gives you a concrete answer either way. I’d love it if you kept me updated - either for motivation to keep going or just to let me know your progress. You’re a king! Time to start living like it
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:53 PM
11

What I wish I'd done in retrospect...You have a calm, firm discussion with your wife and you tell her you take responsibility for what you've done wrong in your marriage, that you think it can be rebuilt or repaired, and that you are 100% committed to doing just that. But that it isn't a one man job - it takes two. Tell her that you aren't unsure about her or you as a partnership, but that since she is, you're going to give her the time and space she requires. Tell her you won't stay stagnant wa…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:05 PM
4

That’s how it started for mine too. Affair didn’t take place immediately. During the separation, she was busy with school and studies and our daughter when she had her, but as soon as school was up, the separation continued and a new man showed up, swooped in and scooped her up while she was still trying to “figure it out.” If you leave the door open even a crack, I’m telling you some dude is gonna kick the door wide open before you know it
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 08:49 PM
26

"She is in school full time for the last year and part time the previous year during covid. (As a side note, when she graduates she'll easily be able to make as much as me or more in 2024.)" Color me surprised....my ex wife asked for separation 2/3 of the way through her master's degree, and I found out about the affair one month after her graduation. This is what women do. Use you up while you help them build their life raft for when they bail on the ship you were building for what you thought …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 08:27 PM
2

Parallel parenting. I currently run all communication through my mom and sister, because my ex is a manipulative, lying fuck who I was trying to give it an honest attempt at coparenting with, until she hid that she’d moved her affair partner into her apartment with my kiddo and I didn’t find out about it for two months, when said kiddo told me about living with mommy’s friend lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 04:27 PM
7

Honestly I think this might be the best response I’ve seen written on this sub regarding what we’ve all experienced and why. Bravo!
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 11:41 AM
7

Wild. Dude seems to have a decent amount of stuff going for him too. No baggage himself, good career, decently good looking, etc, etc. With an in debt, overweight single mom who has emotional and behavioral health issues
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 09:26 PM
5

My exes affair partner is paying for half of her bills...I don't understand what he sees in her, it's absolutely mind boggling. The sex was mediocre at best and she is 5'7" and never weighed below 170 - and the weight isn't in the places we'd like it to be Someone make it make sense
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 09:00 PM
3

My mom said exactly this: “honey, brides are supposed to be euphoric the night of their weddings. She sat there on the bed with a look of what is this? She was never happy and that started from the very first night.” In hindsight, I think I noticed it too. Just tried to be better each day and then she’d fall in love with me. Scary shit what we’ll put ourselves through
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 06:32 PM
12

Yes it did. And most of us in here are suffering from the same thing, OP. I do feel a bit lucky, myself, as I am custodial parent with 51/49 custody, no CS or alimony since ex wife was in limerence with affair partner when I finally had to push through the unwanted divorce without her, and thus she felt too guilty to realize how expensive things would be without me. The affair partner is funding half of her life now, so that's his issue. What sucks is the damage that it has and will do for my ba…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 06:02 PM
12

Literally the night we got back from the reception. My mom is the one who said it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 09:46 AM
1

I'd say it depends...I was able to utilize older W2s when submitting financials, that indicated a far lower salary than I was making at the time of the start of divorce proceedings, and no one was the wiser. I still get nervous to this day (now a year later) because I make even more now and she is struggling with making ends meet. Her new live in bf (affair partner) is paying half her bills though, so hoping she doesn't rock the CS boat.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 08:24 PM
15

Mine moved her affair partner into the apartment where my daughter lives half her life. I found out from my 4 year old after they’d been living together for nearly two months. Shits fucked, but women gonna women
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 02:34 AM
4

Thanks mate. Good thoughts, especially the last sentence. I have to stop looking over at her road and focus on the one I'm on
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 04:36 PM
1

Thanks mate. As far as documenting this stuff, I don't even know how that would be recorded. Text message exchanges I suppose where I asked about everything and she finally had to be honest about it??
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 04:36 PM
3

The woman of your dreams wouldn’t do this to you. Time to start telling yourself this every time that thought pops into your head
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 04:30 PM
2

Oh no doubt but it’s great when space is limited. Does so many exercises and weight simulation is up to 440 lbs
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 01:16 AM
3

Can confirm both of these points. Best purchase I made during the separation and it’s continued to pay dividends through divorce and ex wife moving our daughter in with her affair partner. Just get on and cruise and forget the world for a bit
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 10:06 PM
1

I gotta Vitruvian. It’s fucking awesome
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 10:04 PM
2

Ok which wall do you want me to run through for you sir?! Fuckin A this was beautiful
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 05:28 PM
1

I really appreciate this reply and you’re absolutely right. I am making the decision to suffer. Honestly, it’s just been hard to watch her give this guy everything I’d always asked for in our marriage. It’s made me feel like something is wrong with me. It’s painful and I do turn that pain into suffering. How can I best stop doing that?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 10:31 AM
2

Sounds like paradise
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 05:17 PM
1

If you don’t mind me asking: what discovery did you make? Why were you seeking her approval and how did you break the cycle?
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 10:25 AM
22

Gents, THIS is why we have to keep posting our stories and engaging with one another….if we can save just one man from going down the marriage road….
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 09:12 AM
2

I am yeah. Why do you ask? Cuz our women are shit? Hahaha
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 09:11 PM
2

I hope you’re right but my gut tells me she’s going to marry this dude
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 09:08 PM
4

I was so hoping for this opportunity, and mad props to you, brother. I make more money, have a more muscular body, likely a bigger penis (factoring in statistics and where I'm at size wise hahaha) than her boyfriend (affair partner) and yet she is head over heels in love with him
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 08:53 PM
18

I am in your exact shoes at the moment, man - my ex wife moved herself and my daughter in with the man that she cheated on me with. It's been devastating. My daughter now talks about playing with the man that her mom had sex with while married to me. It's been like poison in my bloodstream...I lie awake at night stewing on it, it consumes my thoughts during all hours of the day. It's borderline suffocating - mentally, emotionally and physically. I try to avoid the thoughts during my work day and…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 08:50 PM
2

I appreciate the reply. Backsliding is not an option, as far as the physical, work, learning accomplishments are concerned, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like emotionally I feel right back at square one. It's agonizing
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 07:49 PM
3

Gosh I’m jealous of you, OP. My ex wife bailed on the marriage over two years ago and is still with the dude she got with during the separation. They just moved in together and she’s doing well. Sounds petty, but I would almost kill for the experience of her regretting her decisions and telling me she made a mistake, but everything is roses for her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 10:10 AM
2

Wish someone would say this exact thing to my ex wife. She blamed me for her unhappiness, ended up cheating and is still kinda unhappy and blaming me for everything wrong in her life, even though I have nothing to do with her outside exchanging our daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 09:56 PM
4

I'll offer some advice, as I was faced with the exact scenario....separated while ex wife finished master's degree, and I was offered a new job that would take me from 30 per hour to 90k salaried. I kept asking her what her plans were for our marriage (laughable looking back now, but we're all dumb during this shit I think), and I kept getting "I'm not sure." I did take the job, to get the title on the resume and hoped she'd get a decent chance at getting close to what I was now making. She got …
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 08:23 PM
2

Glad you came out on top, man. I feel the same about my little girl. She’s priorities 1-5 til the day she gets sick of her old man hahaha. God bless you, king!
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 06:08 PM
4

🍻Cheers, mate!🍻 To you and all the killer dads in this sub who aren’t pieces of shit, like OP. Hate to sound harsh, but good grief this post is the epitome of not reading the room. There’s so many dudes in here who would murder for more time with their children, and then you have this guy so nonchalant about his children just because he’s getting his dick wet
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 05:57 PM
11

I’ll be brutally honest: I can’t offer any advice because it seems as though you and I are essentially completely different species - I have 51/49, am custodial parent, and I still ache for more time with my beautiful little girl. I have arranged and re-arranged work schedules to accommodate needing to work hybrid for my daughter, as well as make dance recitals, doctor appts, etc. My ex wife hates me because nearly every time she’s come to pick the kiddo up from my place over the last two years,…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 09:37 AM
2

What reason could there possibly be for you to get involved in someone else’s divorce? Good grief
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 02:26 PM
2

How fortunate you have hit rock bottom, for you can only go up from here. Rise!
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 05:44 PM
18

This has been my experience as well. There's so many good dudes out there, and unfortunately far too many who have experienced our pain. Onward and up, brothers!
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 05:54 PM
11

They all call us abusive, mate. Means nothing. They’re NPCs
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 03:29 AM
8

It’s normal, man. She’s the mother of your child/children and there’s just something about that for a man I think. Watching em grow our humans changes us. But like myself, I’m sure you are better off without her and a better dad now that you’re not being dragged down by her shit energy
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 08:25 PM
1

I don't need to repeat the good advice that's already been shared, but I didn't see this one yet - and I know on this sub it should go without saying - DON'T GET MARRIED AGAIN, MATE! According to you, this is the third time a serious relationship had ended with you being cheated on. Cut your losses and figure out what is going on that is attracting these types of women to you. That isn't to say that it's your fault they cheated, but these women are magnetized to you, and you need to stop putting…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 05:01 PM
41

Y'all who don't share children with your exes be so grateful. I'll be seeing my ex wife's stupid face regularly til the day one of us dies
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 04:42 PM
1

It doesn’t seem like it now, but the universe is laying the ground work for your rebirth. Get going on becoming the man you were destined to. But also take care of yourself in the moments you really need it. God bless, man. You can do this
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 10:03 PM
10

The being nice is probably a cope for the guilt she feels for cheating on you. My ex wife cheated on me as well, and tried to seem like a big sweetheart each time we interacted, and ask me why I was so rude for not being receptive of her nice gestures. It's a coping mechanism, because deep down in their subconsciouses, they know what they did was fucked up. Go grey rock on her until the divorce is done and work on yourself and building the life you want for your future
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 10:36 PM
21

Honestly, and I say this with love: you ARE the problem. But guess what? So was she. It takes two to make a relationship work and it takes two to make it fail. Difference is, you wanted to improve it before giving up. She was scoping out other prospects while still “committed” to you. Take pride in that, mate. We’re all human and we all deal with issues. You had issues. She had issues. You loved her through hers, she fucked some other dude. You’re better off. Get healthy, get fit and love yourse…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 07:14 PM
3

They’re all the same person. Or they all have the same playbook. It’s baffling. Did yours accuse you of being emotionally abusive? That was her reason for cheating. Dudes in my men’s group all have the almost same exact experiences of everyone I hear about in this sub, myself included. Wife is unhappy, man tries everything to make her happy, wife cheats, man is blamed because he was an abusive spouse who didn’t provide happiness and/or enough money, woman moves on within days, man heartbroken bu…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 07:09 PM
1

This is confusing for this sub and honestly reads as a dude who is interested in a divorced mom with two kids and is looking for suggestions from us on ways to woo her???
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 10:19 AM
14

Mine did the same. Everyone but my family believed her bullshit
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 07:45 AM
12

It's Cali, so the dude will probably still be on the hook for alimony
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:33 PM
1

Sounds like your heart is telling you to take option 1 and have a great relationship with your daughter, but your brain thinks it’s smart and is telling you to take the higher paying job with option 2. Go with your heart, man. You only have so much time before your daughter is grown and has a life of her own
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 11:00 AM
8

This will sound hyperbolic, but mine changed the night of the wedding. The sweet, kind, adorably cute girl had transitioned into an entitled, stuck up, unaffectionate hag. She literally changed into her mom the night of the wedding and it only got worse from there. The more I tried to find ways to reconnect to that sweet woman I fell for, the more who she had become buried her. It makes me so sad. Truth be told, she likely wasn’t ever that sweetheart. It was a front for who she truly is. I just …
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 07:30 PM
4

Shitpost
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 08:21 AM
3

Hey fellow divorced Utah dude! Be smart. You’re almost through this
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 12:05 AM
2

Hahaha thanks
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 10:14 AM
7

The best game is a dude who knows who he is, loves himself, and is on his grind doing what he loves
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 05:09 PM
9

Turn em and burn em. Hit it and quit it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 04:38 PM
65

Because one aims at keeping men on the plantation and the other is men walking off of it
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 03:18 PM
3

I’d be more interested to see the amount of time in the marriage when the affair started
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 08:24 PM
2

I was in the same boat and filed during her limbo bullshit. She just didn’t want to be seen as the “bad guy.” She cares so much about her image. Somehow convinced her friends/family that she didn’t bang some other dude while we were married too. Edit: I’ll add - it’s totally normal to be scared and hurt and whatever else you’re feeling. We all were. But you’re going to be ok, mate and not only will you be ok, you’re going to come out of the fire a new and improved version of yourself. Iron forge…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 06:26 PM
2

Lol “fake trying to work it out” The accuracy with which that describes the “effort” my ex wife put into working on the marriage at any point of its duration. Not sure if she includes the affair as a part of her efforts hahaha
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 06:23 PM
12

He's not even the one that made the mistake either - she cheated on him and he got mad about it. That's a pretty basic reaction to finding out you've been cheated on by your spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 04:02 PM
16

You've got the dreaded oneitis, mate. She's one of a million, not one-in-a-million. There's no such thing as soul mates - you MAKE your soul mate by choosing that person over and over again through thick and thin - something your ex wife didn't do. Were there some things you didn't do correctly in the marriage? Absolutely. Were there also things your ex didn't do very well(being faithful), that you are now conveniently excusing or outright forgetting? Absolutely. Kings don't stop building their …
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 03:58 PM
13

Mine never wanted to have sex after the birth of our kiddo. Sex drive took a complete nose dive and plummeted into the ground. But when she actually did want it, if I wasn’t feeling it I was a piece of shit who wasn’t attracted to her anymore
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 10:13 PM
18

Yet that god awful “happy wife, happy life” phrase remains. The least they could have done was added “….but she’ll never be happy lol”
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 08:40 PM
18

Holy fuck! This one hits so close to home. I’d sit in the driveway for sometimes 30 minutes doing absolutely nothing, just so I didn’t have to go into the house and be bombarded with “this needs to get done,” “that thing you did yesterday isn’t good enough” or some combo of the two.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 08:39 PM
3

Is that Rebuilding by Bruce Fisher?
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 10:16 PM
9

I agree. Husband sounds like a total selfish piece of shit. I would have killed for a wife who worked at being more accommodating of me and my wants and needs versus blaming me for everything that didn’t work in our marriage, like this woman seemingly has. OP, I don’t want to sound too harsh, but you are married to a cheater and you have given him the green light to be just that. You need to leave him. You deserve to have your basic needs met too, and monogamy is a pretty small ask honestly. God…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 10:39 AM
18

Short answer: kids more important than anything Long answer: do not fucking allow her to move two states away with your kids. She is playing nice to get you to put your defenses down. Don’t play into that shit. Fight for what you want and what you should want is to keep her from moving your kids away. Trust all of us in this thread telling you the exact same thing. Prepare for a fight and then fight like hell if it comes to that, but priority one is not letting her jet off with your kids to set …
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 11:32 PM
10

Mine’s “space” was a nerdy dude who I honestly thought was gay the first time I saw him. To each their own I suppose
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 12:58 AM
22

I joined a mens group. A lot of us were divorced or going through a divorce/separation, but it wasn't devoted to "winning back your wife." It was about winning back yourself
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 02:35 PM
14

My ex wife is still miserable and unhappy, yet probably still blames me even though we never interact, talk about anything other than what our daughter needs, etc. She cheated because I made her unhappy. Now, with everything in her life almost 100% different in every single way, she is still unhappy. I don’t think she’ll ever piece together that the unhappiness is due to personal choice versus external stimuli
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 07:58 AM
36

Of course it matters. The best indicator of someone’s future behavior is their past behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 10:20 PM
6

Soul Sucker
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 06:37 PM
18

To be fair, feminists are batshit crazy so you can see why there would be some confusion
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 08:45 PM
3

I too was the only one shouldering the load of bettering and keeping the marriage going. A cart being pulled on one side will only ever go in circles and eventually dig a trench that the cart can’t climb out of. Your leach has gifted you the opportunity to unhitch yourself from this circling cart and get onto a new path that will take you to so many cool places you never could have seen otherwise. I’m not saying it won’t hurt, because it hurts like hell. But it’s so beautiful when you finally cl…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 08:37 PM
37

Don’t be sorry for the post, mate. That’s why we’re here - we’ve all been in your shoes. Your stbx wife sounds like a leach and you’re lucky to be getting out. Don’t try to fix it, don’t beg for her back, DO NOT BE A SIMP. Start working out, lifting heavy shit, investing in new or old hobbies, and file for divorce. Become the best fucking dad you can be to your 2 children and take any time away from them to recenter and focus completely on who you are and where you’d like to be once this hell is…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 07:08 PM
5

Hell I have 50/50 and am custodial and I’d kill for my ex bitch to give up more of her time to me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 07:19 PM
3

My ex wife kept repeating the “you’ve changed” phrases when I finally put an end to the simping bullshit as well. “What happened to you?” She asked as I finally stopped being a fucking doormat lol
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 06:43 AM
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