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DivorcedRedditUser Archive

View 3 posts and 69 comments by DivorcedRedditUser on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Tell your lawyer to start acting on YOUR priorities, or you will find another lawyer. They want to focus on financials because that is usually where their paycheck comes from… That lawyer works for you. Do you have to move out, per court order? Might be beneficial to drag your feet on moving out…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 08:03 PM
3

It shouldn’t matter, as you are dealing with pretty concrete numbers. The funds aren’t going to change value based on who is asking for the value… My lawyer made the QDRO arrangements, as the accounts were in my name. Was a hassle dealing with the ex constantly asking when she was getting the money, but that was the real hassle… I did manage to make an agreement that the ex would give up any claim to my work retirement fund, in exchange for the cash out/QDRO. She could still make an attempt to c…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 05:20 PM
-1

Wow, my ex was particularly nasty, and continues to be 6yrs later…. I’ve never even considered erasing her from anything. She makes up 50% of my kids. Hating her, deleting her would be the same as hating my own children. Get your emotions under control.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 05:15 PM
3

Refuse her nonsense. She is trying to assume power, and by considering this proposal, you are granting her that power. From the first discussion, insist on 50/50. Get to court as fast as you can.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 05:12 PM
1

Could be an important detail to share with your lawyer. Jurisdictions may have different ways of navigating your particular situation, especially if there is a nuance like that…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:41 PM
4

If the business was built during the marriage, then both the debt and assets of the business would very likely be consider joint marital property, and would both be split between the parties.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:40 PM
1

From what you are describing, the only things that might help, would be arrest records, NEW CPS investigations, and any documented danger presented to the kids. Your lawyer is right… there isn’t much you can do to prove that something did not happen. It is very difficult. Start carrying an audio recorder any time you are around the ex. Might keep you out of jail if she tries claiming DV. CPS will ignore your reports now, since you are a disgruntled ex. It needs to come from a mandatory reporter,…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:08 PM
6

If the business has ANY value, you are entitled to half that value, just as you are obligated to half the debt… The lawyers will figure out what that value is. You can offer to decline the future business value, if she carries all the debt. Might not be accepted, and might not be financially wise, but who knows. Get a lawyer before mediation. Don’t sign anything in mediation. All you do there is agree on a proposal…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 03:28 PM
1

Be realistic, you aren’t going to do ANYTHING THAT WILL MATTER, with the text messages you described. Court won’t care, and even if you submit hundreds of pages, you think a judge is actually going to read all that nonsense? Stop engaging in her harassment. This is 100% on you. Are they asleep? Don’t respond. You are an adult, capable of caring for your own children, right? Why would you give her the authority to check in on whether you are doing a good job? Knock it off. Have they eaten? Seriou…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 02:58 PM
1

Those aren’t the only positive interactions I’ve had with parents of other children. In fact I can’t think of any negative interactions... So, the stories we read here about men being treated by society as creepers, could be a couple things... Society is prejudice against men being around children. Some men look creepy and/or do creepy things around kids. The concern is just in the insecure minds of men who are unable to read body language and other societal cues. For example, just because a wom…
/r/MensRights21/04/21 09:42 AM
1

You are believing the arguments that you want to believe. Nothing I say will change that, because you’ve already made up your mind, you are just looking for validation now. Here are 2 examples Just yesterday, in line at a hardware store, I had a little girl about 2 noticed and waved at me. I waved back. The little girl then through the moms purse on the ground, lmao. Had a couple lines of pleasant exchange with the mom, and the kiddo waved to me again as they left. My favorite was in a grocery s…
/r/MensRights20/04/21 04:38 AM
1

Ya, don’t buy into that crap... concerned/loving fathers are very highly respected in society! More so than loving mothers. Take care of your kid. The rest will fall into place!!! Just enjoy every moment with your child, and maintain that focus!
/r/MensRights18/04/21 01:24 AM
1

That is a problem with a church, not with a society... do you still take your child to that church?
/r/MensRights18/04/21 12:13 AM
1

If you feel guilty as a man after watching the news, that points to something inside you being out of whack. I recommend counseling.
/r/MensRights25/08/20 03:00 PM
1

It isn’t really an American thing either! It is a paranoia thing! Lmao, this post is bs, looking for sympathy for something that didn’t actually happen. Women were literally checking this single dad out! And he is so insecure that he feels accused!!!
/r/MensRights25/08/20 05:52 AM
7

Digging for a fight, even though there is none to be found. Not everything is sexist based, lmao...
/r/MensRights25/08/20 05:41 AM
3

So, a girl took advantage of you? Or you took advantage of your authority (keys) to get some? Been there, done that... most definitely been taken advantage of, lol. It sucks... We all get played at some point, just part of learning and growing up. Same for women, they play or get played, and learn from it. Not ideal, but normal learning...
/r/MensRights25/08/20 05:26 AM
-17

You perceive them as valid, but that does not make them valid. Seriously, find a counselor. This has been the single greatest thing I have done for my well being since getting divorced. I was not in a healthy marriage. It has taken me years to finally come to grips with that, and the counselor has greatly expedited that process!!! Any separation is tough. You need to understand that women do not look at single fathers as pedophiles. You are absolutely the sexiest man on the planet to women. Your…
/r/MensRights24/08/20 05:25 AM
1

I’ll choose to completely ignore the additional personal attacks, lmao... So what was the point of this thread? You don’t want access to women’s DV shelters? Why is this thread here? Honestly, I guess I missed the point??? What exactly is the complaint in this thread?
/r/MensRights24/08/20 05:13 AM
-29

OP, you need to seek a counselor. This is paranoia, straight up. Women looking at a single dad... dude, they were checking you out. If nothing else, eyeing you up for one of their friends... As a single dad, I have nothing but respect for other dads that are getting it done. It just isn’t socially acceptable for dads to straight hi-5 each other for doing right by their kids. Don’t buy into the bs in this sub. The world is not out to get you. The world is in fact rooting for you. Find a counselor…
/r/MensRights24/08/20 05:03 AM
0

Blah, blah, blah, another personal insult... name calling. What data, studies, etc do you have to justify that men need entrance into women’s DV shelters? Is it for the betterment of men? Betterment of women? I’ve been asking the question: why would a man want to enter a women’s DV shelter? The answer should be plain as a brick hitting you in the head! There is no legitimate reason. AND, the reason NO men are not allowed in, is due simply to the fact that an abusive man entering that space, woul…
/r/MensRights24/08/20 04:52 AM
0

I’m sorry, what research do you think would change my mind? You are the expert here, right? Teach me, instead of a bunch of rhetorical questions... You must have lost your patience, you have stooped to personal insults, regarding my marriage, lmao. Why would a man want to enter a women’s DV shelter?
/r/MensRights24/08/20 02:43 AM
-1

Says you, and still that is One data point. Have you ever sat down and talked to a woman who was the victim of true domestic violence? They are terrified of any man. After being married for about 5yrs to an abusive man, a friend of mine from HS actually flinched when I moved too quickly at the dinner table. Putting men in those shelters is absolutely a horrible idea. One more time with this question... Why would a man want to enter a women’s DV shelter? There is a reason I’m asking this question…
/r/MensRights24/08/20 02:29 AM
0

How many men’s shelters have you helped setup? Have you even sent financial support to a men’s shelter? Would you be willing to take in a 12 yr old boy, whose mother is trying to escape potentially homicidal abuse? Probably not... because you guys seem to enjoy hiding behind a keyboard, in a closed room with zero outside opinions. What actions are any of YOU taking to correct these issues? If just as many men were victims of DV, then you might have a point. There are good reasons there aren’t as…
/r/MensRights24/08/20 02:16 AM
2

I did! Which of the pointless analogies are you referring to? The saying blacks can’t enter a building is the same as saying men can’t enter a safe place for battered women? Was there another ‘point’ made during that ramble that I missed? I will say again. Why would a man want to enter a shelter for female victims of DV? (Here’s a hint, there isn’t a legitimate reason for it)
/r/MensRights23/08/20 07:43 PM
2

There is no logic in here, lol. Which is odd, because men are typically credited as thinking more logically than emotionally... Maybe the posters in this section are actually women, posing as men? That kinda makes sense actually, lol
/r/MensRights23/08/20 05:49 PM
1

Arguing your point this way, will not gain you any new followers. You guys can beat your chest like this here with a closed audience, but no reasonable person is going to enter a chat like this and change their perspective.
/r/MensRights23/08/20 05:45 PM
-1

Good fucking god. You are telling me that this board is here to discredit/dismiss violence against women, because ‘most violence is against men’. So a woman makes an insane claim that taking off her ear buds is sexual harassment, and the response from men here, is to discredit ALL accusations of harassment perpetrated by men? This kind of crap is most definitely part of the problem, not part of the solution. The goal should not be to further polarize opposing opinions, but rather to find common …
/r/MensRights23/08/20 04:54 PM
1

So he was making that comment out of sarcasm? If so, I completely missed the sarcasm part, lol
/r/MensRights23/08/20 04:38 PM
-4

Oh, so sometimes gay men are abused, so. We should open the only safe place for an abused woman to go, on the off chance that a gay man might want to come in for shelter? Your same argument is currently being used to deny the BLM movement any legitimacy. By insisting that ALL lives matter, you ignore the issue of ‘black lives matter’. Basically, this argument is that ‘I’m so not racist/sexist, that I refuse to acknowledge the struggle of anyone but myself’ There isn’t enough NEED for a shelter f…
/r/MensRights23/08/20 03:47 PM
-4

Dude, men are getting soft, and this proves it. Or maybe it isn’t so much that the men here were hurt or offended by ‘cat calling’, but rather they are just pissed that they can’t engage in this kid of behavior toward women any more? That is probably more like it... Bitching about have to remove your headphones in public is lame. Cat called at age 8-9, by a 40 yr old HAG? Dude, sexism is running through that comment, and it is pretty gross. You boys keep doing you. I’ll just continue doing my ma…
/r/MensRights23/08/20 03:19 PM
1

Why would a man WANT to enter a woman’s shelter?
/r/MensRights23/08/20 03:12 PM
2

I’m not whining about a woman asking me what time it is... “I was sexually harassed by a woman because I had to take my headphones off to tell her what time it was” That is some whiney ass bitching!
/r/MensRights23/08/20 03:10 PM
-2

So if you walk up to a women’s DV shelter, you expect to be let in the front door? Why would you want to enter that building? What purpose would that serve if men were free to walk in? What is the purpose for women’s DV shelters to prohibit men from entering? Men don’t die from being assaulted by women nearly as often as women die from being assaulted by men. Thus the skewed need for shelters. Is this really where ‘men’s rights’ have gone? You want to demand entrance to a place where women go in…
/r/MensRights23/08/20 03:06 PM
-1

Lmao! Really? Women are literally being killed by abusive spouses, and you think YOU walking into a women’s shelter will make the world a better place? Question: why do you want to visit a women’s shelter?
/r/MensRights23/08/20 02:47 PM
-5

God damn right men should t be allowed in a place where women go to HIDE FROM ABUSIVE MEN! This page is totally effed... what is wrong with you boys? (can’t say men, because a man would understand why this thread is absolutely retarded).
/r/MensRights23/08/20 02:15 PM
-5

Is this serious? Damn it, men really are turning into pussies. Complaining because a woman asked you what time it was? Stop being a whiny bitch, lmao. That is not an abusive behavior, and most certainly wasn’t harassment. And being cat called at age 8-9, are you serious? Harassment is one thing, but nothing in this thread compares to harassment, or what women experience on a regular basis. Seriously guys, stop making us look like whiney bitches.
/r/MensRights23/08/20 02:09 PM
16

I doubt a family law lawyer would ever be charged in connection with false claims... how many times have false DV claims been made, but I’ve never heard of a lawyer seeing ANY consequences for representing those claims. Be realistic here... Get a lawyer. Force a guardian ad litem into the case as quickly as you can. No contact with your ex. Use an audio recorder anytime you are in her presence. The longer you wait, the worse the damage of this abuse will be.
/r/MensRights14/06/20 05:04 PM
1

The courts have always stated that, as the court can’t follow and police each parent. But if you think your actions won’t be reflected upon with scrutiny by the court, then someone is blowing sunshine up your skirt. There will be repercussions. Might not be something you even see coming... Agreed, nothing sucks like not being able to see your kids... and that is exactly what you are considering doing to your ex. A woman, especially a mother, can be pretty vindictive. My ex is even if she ‘wins’,…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/20 07:20 PM
2

In the states, she isn’t breaking any government guidelines. In fact most state governors have specifically stated that court orders are considered ‘essential activity’, and should continue during the stay home orders. My ex withheld out of fear, so now I am having to fight her for makeup time... Being afraid that someone ‘might’ get sick is never grounds for withholding. I doubt any court, us or uk will see it that way. Has your government specifically stated that custody exchanges are to stop?…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/20 02:31 PM
0

Don’t be an idiot. You are exposed to covid every day! You give it to your kids, they transmit it to your parents, and in 20 days a grandparent dies.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/20 06:32 AM
1

How long were you together?
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/20 03:54 PM
2

If you haven’t said anything to your wife, DONT! I’m in WA, so that is my experience... however, the lawyers will take the path of least resistance, over what is best for YOU. be cautious with lawyers... You will likely have child support and spousal support, but those values vary by state, especially spousal support. Are you the sole source of income, while wife is the stay at home mom? Is she working now? Can you cut her off, and force her to become gainfully employed? Key question: Do you hav…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/20 06:30 AM
0

Her cheating has little to do with you, and more to do with her... hoes gonna ho... Take care of your kid. In 20yrs, that is the only relationship that will have survived the test of time. Take custody, make her pay CS, whatever it takes... focus on your boy!!!
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/20 04:26 AM
3

How do you mean?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/20 04:17 AM
1

Fault state is HUGE! wish wa was a fault state... Get a lawyer and don’t say shit to her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/20 02:22 AM
0

She has no right to tell you where you take your child during your time. That is a non-issue, and indicates that your ex is overly controlling.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/20 09:23 PM
0

That is some shit wording. I don’t see anyway you could execute that without inviting massive conflict. Was that written by a woman? By your ex? Parent time should be defined in the parent plan, not just laid out as ‘when we agree on it’. Of course your ex doesn’t agree... Is there a schedule attached to the parent plan, where parent time is specified?
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/20 09:22 PM
1

My ex cheated on me, pretty similar to this story. I decided to stay for my kids, as the thought of losing them broke my heart. That was fucking stupid of me. As OP described, my ex just became more aggressive about the cheating. She doesn’t love you, and cheats on you publicly. Is that the example you want for your children to grow up with. Would you like your daughter to treat her future husband this way? The minute I found out my ex was cheating, I should have gotten a lawyer. The game has sh…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/20 09:17 PM
1

A digital recorder is absolutely needed, any time the opposing party is accusing domestic violence. Get one, and use it. If you don’t, expect to spend time in jail, and have a years worth of visits with you kids supervised by a state official...
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 07:55 AM
3

Throwra, is a pos and ignore that shit. As of right now, get a lawyer!!! Again, get a fucking lawyer!!!!!!!! There is a line, and as soon as you think the word ‘divorce’, you crossed it. Stop talking to your soon to be ex, stbx. Anything you tell her WILL be used against you, whether it’s true or not!!! Do NOT move out of the house, don’t stay in a hotel. Every time you do that crap you endorse to the court that you think mom is a better parent than you. This is not trivial!!! Start thinking abo…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 07:51 AM
0

She isn’t a bank robber. She is entitled to half the assets. Quit bitching, get a lawyer and pay to be done with a shitty situation. Be thankful there won’t likely be alimony (because of the short duration of the marriage), and you won’t have child support for the next 15-20yrs. This is one of the easiest divorces I’ve seen on the boards lately, get a lawyer and get it done.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/20 01:13 AM
1

To get full custody, you will have to resort to shitty tactics. Allegations of your ex’s abuse, not only at the kids but at you. Get proof ready... Don’t move out of the house. Big advantage to you, if your ex is willing to move out, leaving you and kiddo in the house. But women feel staying in the house is their ‘right’, so good luck pulling that off... Don’t tell your ex any thing! Don’t mention you are getting a lawyer. She can find out when she signs the final agreement. Think back over all …
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 06:32 PM
3

Don’t try to re-assert yourself to the ex, standing up for yourself, or yelling back at this point. This will lead to escalations that will land YOU in jail, and your ex getting custody. Assert yourself by getting a lawyer, keeping your yap shut! And knowing that every action you take is what is best for your daughter in the long run. Don’t tip your hand, that is the greatest advantage you have right now.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/19 07:55 PM
3

Don’t discuss divorce with the stbx until you serve her with divorce papers!
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/19 07:49 PM
2

Huhbz, you missed an important aspect of whistles post. GET A LAWYER. My biggest regret was moving out, and trying to find ‘reasonable’ solutions with my abusive ex. I went through many of the same scenarios you described.... Muster up your balls, get a lawyer, prepare your finances, stay in the marital home, while saying NOTHING to your stbx. Your goal is full custody, because your daughter deserves to be raised by her non-abusive parent. Don’t move out, force your ex to move out, by filing for…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/19 07:49 PM
1

No she can’t change your child’s name without your consent. More importantly, she isn’t doing it to piss you off. A woman wants to move on after divorce, and not be constantly reminded of her ex. Her kids having her ex’s last name ruins that fantasy... She want you out, so that she can live the dream life in her newer, more perfect life. This is simple human, or rather woman nature... nothing evil in it, just what women want after divorce. The point is, don’t take it personal.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/19 04:59 AM
1

Her reason is that she is reading the parent plan wrong (I hope it is an honest mistake), but she is doing other things to mess with my awareness of what is going on with my daughter at school, block me from extra curricular activities, etc. I will look for an enforcement petition form to file. So, police will help enforce the parent plan on behalf of the primary/custodial, but not for the other parent? I never expected so much discrimination in my treatment.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/18 09:02 PM
2

Go for full custody, and make sure you don't move out of the house (away from the kids). If she is doing this stuff in front of the kids now, her behavior will only escalate after you separate. Don't leave your kids alone in her care,
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/18 08:02 PM
1

The last big fight I had with my ex was because she didn't think her gifts were good enough for christmas... hell no, I won't be buying her anything. Letting the kids get something for mom is nice. I did this for the first mothers day after separation, but the effort was not returned by the ex. so I won't be doing that again... ​
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/18 07:44 PM
3

In my state, a spouse cheating has no bearing on the outcome terms of the divorce. It is a 'no fault' state. Find out if your state in this way! If it is no fault, then it doesn't matter how many guys she had on the side (like mine did, lol). Get your own car. Crappy answer, and I get that the funds probably aren't there, but you need to handle a lot of stuff in life right now... getting places shouldn't be something you struggle with right now. She is doing that to punish you, and to cause furt…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/18 06:36 PM
2

I just came off on anti-depressants about 3 months ago. I came to realize that while the drugs did help with the physical chemical imbalance that was keeping me from being motivated and enjoying life, they were also dulling my senses to the point where there was no true joy. I realized that I had not been angry in months, I no longer cried for any reason, and still was not motivated to do anything (what I did was out of obligation, not pride in ownership, and certainly not pride in control of my…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/18 06:24 PM
1

I may be willing... I've done mod work before on other sites. I would like to suggest however, creation of a sticky at the top of this page... Lessons Learned / Common Suggestions / What to do and not to do There are some things I would definitely do differently, and a place to share that would be nice.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/18 06:06 PM
1

My biggest frustration right now is the division of visitation time. Specifically, my kids dentist is not open during my visitations. The ex won't call and make/change appointments, so I make them and plan on taking the kids myself, regardless whether it is my visitation day or not. Next week, the school/daycare that I would pick my kids up early from in order to get to the dentist, informed me they would call the police if I tried to pick up. I would be abducting (a felony, correct?) my own chi…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/18 05:47 PM
2

Any resource even similar to this, I would be all over it!!!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/18 05:38 PM
1

For me, in my situation, time with my kids is the absolute most valuable thing in the world. Being part of their school, extra curricular activities, and helping them socialize with their friends as they grow... all things you can't do while living far away. If there was any chance of me getting 50/50 custody, I would work toward that goal... even if it meant changing jobs, moving, etc. ​ Unless she makes more than you do, you will probably still have some child support due to her (even with 50/…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/18 04:28 PM
2

And I hate my divorce lawyer. My ex didn't even have a lawyer, and I am still stuck as a subordinate to the ex! The lawyer did not have my interest in mind, just wanted to close the court date as quick as possible and move on to the next retainer fee...
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/18 08:56 PM
2

I keep hearing to document everything. How should that be done in order to present it in court? are screenshots of text messages and social media posts, saved into a Word file going to be accepted by the court? ​
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/18 08:38 PM
2

There is NO way to prevent her from scamming you. She can figure out a way to do it. I reimburse when I get a photo of the check paid for childcare, sitting next to the receipt from the daycare center. It is an established business in the area, and I go there often. Only option I was even close to being comfortable with... Hope you find a good solution. At least you only pay 50% of childcare, mine was based on income proportions, so I pay 70% of childcare, on top of child support...
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/18 08:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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