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Dwerg1 Archive

View 0 posts and 452 comments by Dwerg1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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-1

Of course it's great to just open up and be intimate on all levels, but there's problems with that. I think it's a very common misunderstanding that game is to "get the girl", but I disagree with that. It's to protect yourself, the reason it looks like it's to get the girl for many is because women like it, they like men who aren't gullible. This shift in my perspective came from learning it the hard way. Give yourself away freely, get used by some woman, get hurt, then realize the game was all …
/r/seduction28/01/26 05:56 PM
3

I'm pretty good at talking to anyone, that used to be far from the case and I have been where you are now. What changed? I stopped trying to think of what to say, that is still the case today. I don't know any more than you do about what to say when approaching someone, I just go in there saying something, whatever comes to mind when I'm there. Something will come to mind, particularly when I've already put myself in a situation where it would be more awkward to not say anything, when anything i…
/r/seduction26/01/26 01:40 AM
3

The more you chase, the less you'll be chosen. The more you as a man start being picky, the more they'll start chasing. It's strange, but you can set your own value in a way. Hell, I can relate to what you're saying, it used to be true. It is not true anymore, I know far too much about women to blindly chase any. I'm not giving them the time of day if they're not at least pleasant right off the bat, then they'll have to earn my trust because I ain't trusting anyone I don't know no matter how pre…
/r/seduction24/01/26 12:06 AM
1

Exactly my point. It should take no more than a couple of seconds to recognize that it came out all kinds of wrong, but it was posted anyways, indicating a lack of quality control. If that little effort was put into it I'm having a hard time trusting the quality of the rest of it.
/r/seduction23/01/26 08:42 PM
2

Did you even look at the image you AI generated before slapping it on the article?
/r/seduction23/01/26 06:15 PM
1

If you believe you cannot change then it's true, until you believe you can. You're going to have a very rough time with insecurity and paranoia in a relationship. Relationship don't really work without trust and you can't have trust when you're insecure. Insecurity will bleed out in various ways that will be destructive to relationships. You might match with someone of roughly equal insecurity and even be able to keep her around for a while, but I doubt it's going to be very enjoyable. I wish yo…
/r/seduction19/01/26 07:43 AM
4

The thing about that type of thinking is that it's ultimately just reactive. If anything is beta it's to let everything about how you act be influenced by what women might think of you. PUA is just a more complicated way of the same, shaping oneself into whatever they think women want rather than standing proud as who they are and what they stand for. I don't even want to generally attract women, I want to attract my type of women. There's only one way I can do so and that's to unapologetically …
/r/seduction12/01/26 07:29 PM
15

Yeah, guys get hung up on this tiny detail as if that's what's going to make or break it. It's probably not and if she's so hung up over such a tiny detail then who knows what other bullshit she's going to be nitpicky about. I usually respond at my earliest convenience. Sometimes that's right away, sometimes it can be up to a few hours because I'm just busy. I'm not glued to my phone all day and I don't feel the compulsion to check my phone or respond to every notification immediately.
/r/seduction12/01/26 07:07 PM
1

Yup, that last example has worked some magic on multiple occasions for me. When it just pops into mind and I simply let that thought out in the moment. I don't really give any compliments unless they arise like this. Most of the times I pay it so little mind that I don't even realize the effect it's having, I didn't say it to get something from her so I'm not looking for something. It's only later when she seems to be really into me and I start wondering why that it leads my thoughts back to ran…
/r/seduction21/09/25 02:42 AM
5

I've seen some definitely good enough looking guys who couldn't get women at all, mostly because of a very pessimistic attitude. I have also seen guys you would never believe could pull women based on their looks, but do because of their lively and positive personality. Looks is a factor, there's no denying that, but I don't think it's as important as being an enjoyable person to be around.
/r/seduction19/09/25 10:29 PM
1

Loosen up, don't think a lot about what you're going to say or do, trust that it will be ok and don't judge yourself, at least not harshly. That about sums up my experience going from someone being treated as invisible to someone charismatic, without tipping over into becoming narcissistic. The fear in this is for inappropriate communication to slip out. Mistakes will be made, you will not intend for this, but it might still happen. Your character isn't judged by these mistakes anywhere near as …
/r/seduction09/06/25 07:36 PM
0

These behaviors and all the problems associated with them comes from putting pressure on oneself to succeed and not tolerating "failure". It took me a little while to understand this myself. I didn't trust it right away, but gave it a try by almost intentionally trying to fail. I'd just say whatever came to mind first in the moment, even if I internally thought it was stupid. To my surprise it usually went better than expected and better than before. Nowadays I've settled on just not giving a da…
/r/seduction07/06/25 09:08 PM
1

"I didn't know you could read minds"
/r/seduction05/06/25 10:54 AM
1

The point of communicating clearly on this is to give her the choice and transfer responsibility to her. If she chooses to proceed while knowing exactly where you stand then she's making the choice of accepting that you don't like her in that way. Can she still end up hurt? Of course, but it's totally her own fault for choosing to proceed in a situation where she was made fully aware of your intentions. She can refuse to believe what you say, but again that's her own fault for not taking your wo…
/r/seduction05/06/25 10:46 AM
2

More like doing whatever you can to make the interaction as positive as possible for both of you whenever you are interacting.
/r/seduction03/06/25 11:44 PM
1

Whole lot of focus on progression goals (physical escalation), no mention of connecting on an emotional level, shared experience and mutual understanding. I'd say you're missing the entire point, to have a good time doing things together. Maybe I'm wrong, but it might be worth thinking about.
/r/seduction03/06/25 10:20 PM
3

What even are those reasons? Those aren't reasons, they're excuses. Do you have bad intentions when approaching? No? Then there's nothing wrong with approaching. If she doesn't appreciate your presence then just leave, up until that point you're doing nothing wrong by simply walking over to talk. It just starts to get wrong if you overstay your welcome, as in not walking away when she finds you being there uncomfortable. What you're doing now is shooting yourself down before even trying, you don…
/r/seduction03/06/25 06:55 PM
8

What even are those reasons? Those aren't reasons, they're excuses. Do you have bad intentions when approaching? No? Then there's nothing wrong with approaching. If she doesn't appreciate your presence then just leave, up until that point you're doing nothing wrong by simply walking over to talk. It just starts to get wrong if you overstay your welcome, as in not walking away when she finds you being there uncomfortable. What you're doing now is shooting yourself down before even trying, you don…
/r/seduction03/06/25 06:55 PM
2

Lines and techniques are like the tools and techniques of a painter, you can have the best tools and know all the techniques to perfection, but your art may still be shit. Then there's the guy who creates great art without any fancy tools and barely any knowledge about technique, that's your friend. Many guys who try to learn game is starting in the wrong end, thinking better lines and techniques will be the solution, but they're not really understanding the art. I started down the same path mys…
/r/seduction03/06/25 04:42 PM
2

5-10 minutes does not amount to much, that's just enough to start hooking her. Skipping straight to closing won't work before escalating first. If you know how to decently read the vibe as you say then you have a decent starting point to learn escalation. This is where you amplify her vibe, make her feel increasingly more. Trying to close cuts it all short, what you did that made her smile is no more as you took a sharp turn. Think about a movie starting to build up the plot and the tension, the…
/r/seduction02/06/25 11:24 PM
0

The main thing is really just to make her feel something. A polite and safe conversation barely makes anyone feel anything. Pissing her off somewhat at least makes her feel something about you. That still pales in comparison to doing something that makes her genuinely feel good and connecting that to you. Being "bad" is better than being boring, but it's not the peak of creating emotion and attraction. I get why so many guys think "being bad" is a viable strategy, they just found this one way th…
/r/seduction29/05/25 05:23 AM
4

You can ALWAYS find something to be insecure about and insecurity is probably the most unattractive trait out there. It's worse than whatever the insecurity is about. Despite this, guys focus on what they're insecure about as the main problem. There definitely are fat guys who succeed with women, insecurity exists nowhere within these guys. There are also great looking dudes who can't attract women even if their life depended on it, at least not when they start talking. Why? Because those guys a…
/r/seduction29/05/25 03:59 AM
1

I wouldn't say you can really overcome her preferences with something that doesn't hit on at least some of her preferences. I would say you can capitalize on some of her preferences to the degree that she'll accept you not meeting some of her other preferences. Simple example, you might not be her type in terms of looks, but she highly prefers your personality or the other way around. If nothing about you appeals to any of her preferences then you're shit out of luck.
/r/seduction27/05/25 10:07 PM
12

You kinda said it, this is a thing because there's plenty of men who will accept it. These women have double standards because they can get away with it and there's plenty of men who will let them. The problem is twofold. Women who lack kindness and men who lack boundaries. There's only one solution for me as a man, to not accept it and reject women with bad traits. If I'm lucky she REALLY wanted me, but losing me because of her very much fixable flaws might make her think twice about how she's …
/r/seduction27/05/25 05:35 AM
4

Some of the things that perhaps helped me the most was introspection and trying to see myself from the outside. Not outside as in how I think others see me, more like how I would see me as if I was someone else I'm observing. It helped create the necessary psychological distance to process things and find new perspectives. I have my own trauma (pretty severe as well) and it was certainly to blame for my struggles with women. What happened, happened, that doesn't change, but what I make of it is …
/r/seduction27/05/25 01:33 AM
2

I didn't become pussy whipped, I got other priorities. Not because my wife demands it, I'm just done with the single lifestyle and feel like I get more in return for spending a bit more energy nurturing the relationship and raising my kids. That said, I haven't sacrificed everything. I do enjoy a good party still and the things I used to do, but not quite as often as before both because it loses its fun if I go party all the time and I have to prioritize the long term a bit more. I have had frie…
/r/seduction25/05/25 01:03 PM
1

Yeah, the information is freely available from many sources, it just took some effort to filter it to gain an understanding for what and how it works. Then it took effort to implement it and actually go do something. I learned seduction long before learning proper exercise and diet to achieve the physique I desire, but the process was about the same. Gain knowledge and start doing just something to start gaining experience, then reflect on said knowledge and experience to progressively improve. …
/r/seduction23/05/25 04:45 PM
118

Imagine being 45 and not having done anything about it in the past 10 years, looking back to when you're 35 and considered improving, but stupidly chose not to. If you keep thinking it's too late then it's too late, if you start taking action today who knows how far you'll go and how quickly you'll get there. I know what I'd pick and it's not to willingly give up
/r/seduction21/05/25 02:10 PM
29

There's certainly a lot of overlap there. The fundamental problem is being disingenuous, particularly emotionally disingenuous. Being nice primarily for the sake of serving selfish interests rather than genuine niceness which is to do something for the benefit of the other. Feeling selfishly motivated and pretending to be motivated by the well being of the other. Avoiding conflict by pretending it's ok is a different flavor of the same thing. Feeling one way and pretending the opposite. Ultimate…
/r/seduction21/05/25 09:22 AM
4

In that case your masculinity needs to be at least at a similar level to her femininity. If you are or can get on that level then there's hope. In my experience and observations people don't match so much on looks as they do on psychology. This is why you'll see disparity in looks in couples, because the better looking one my might be psychologically weaker or the worse looking one might be psychologically stronger. Then there's somewhat of an overlap that certain psychological configurations le…
/r/seduction17/05/25 10:13 PM
1

It's weird or sad if you make it weird or sad, or feel that way about it. If your vibe is that the fact you're there alone is a non-issue then in the vast majority of cases it will be seen as a non-issue, even if they know the fact.
/r/seduction16/05/25 05:15 PM
5

My first immediate thought as well, gotta do kind of a reset. Resisting the bad mood just reinforces it. Giving attention to the negative thoughts and digging into it just reinforces it. I've rolled up to parties before just not feeling it at all, but instead of continuing to feed the thoughts about how bad it is I have just focused on clearing my mind of everything. Some of those nights have been the best I can remember. Starting out bad, getting myself back to center and then get going in a re…
/r/seduction16/05/25 03:41 PM
4

Unless OP was the target instead of her and he had the "brilliant" idea to sabotage between them to increase his odds with OP. I don't consider this likely, but I guess if the gay dude is stupid enough then it's a possibility.
/r/seduction13/05/25 09:30 PM
9

Be about as clear about it as she is. If she's not clearly and directly asking then don't clearly and directly volunteer your intention. It's only a lie if she asks and you say something other than the truth. I'd also argue it's unethical if it's obvious she wants something other than you and you keep leading her on, but you probably won't know her intentions that early anyways
/r/seduction13/05/25 06:56 PM
1

"What should I do if I find what I'm doing exhausting, draining and not enjoyable?" You take a break and go do whatever might make you feel better for a while, then you can get back to it from a better place mentally. What you don't do is keep on pushing until you crash and burn completely to the point you hate it and feel like quitting permanently. At least if you want to be strategic in your self care.
/r/seduction10/05/25 12:19 PM
101

It's your mind, it's fucked in some way and it's bleeding out into your words and actions without you realizing it. You're not seeing about yourself what others are seeing about you. You can have everything else under the sun, but you're cooked if your mind is off. I can't diagnose your problem in any more detail because I lack the detail about you to do so, but the problem is always about not seeing reality right. At least you know where to put your focus now, it's not on the external.
/r/seduction08/05/25 12:01 AM
2

12 years ago I thought I wanted what was behind door #1 starting from a place of cluelessness. After a couple of years of working on myself and fucking multiple women along the way I learned that it's simply not enough for me, I want more, I want deeper, I want real. I went through door #2, dropping every bit of performance as a first step and it felt like dropping a massive weight off my shoulders. I felt light and unburdened, not a single worry on my mind, I felt free. I wasn't trying to game …
/r/seduction06/05/25 11:14 PM
1

You're taking a step in somewhat of a right direction, but there's more to go. Unless your growth just halts you will move past this phase eventually, when you realize that the lifestyle you're imagining going towards now is just as hollow. I have been there. I agree that doing relationship just for someone to touch and fuck, as a status symbol or to fulfill societal expectations are all bad reasons to go for relationship. It's also a pretty bad idea to go for relationship to feel fulfilled, if …
/r/seduction06/05/25 08:22 PM
1

How so? He can either lie or express the truth. The hard option in my opinion is to lie, telling the truth is pretty straight forward.
/r/seduction05/05/25 09:08 PM
4

This is where you decide what kind of man you want to be. The one who does the right thing even if you don't want to or the one who selfishly takes advantage of others. I can't tell you who you want to be, but you probably have some idea about it.
/r/seduction04/05/25 08:55 PM
5

Been in similar situations a few times. I'll stay polite, but not give the other guy any more than a minimum of my attention. So, short answers, limited intonation and such before directing my attention back to her to continue OUR conversation. Making him seem rude for interrupting, which is what he's actually doing in the first place, without lowering myself. An important factor is also to pay attention to her and who she seems more interested in. Does she find the other guy to be a nuisance as…
/r/seduction04/05/25 07:20 PM
0

I agree in part, but I'll make a case for return of investment. Going back 12 years, to my early 20's, I had serious confidence issues and my body was nothing special. At that time I decided to do something about it and I chose to put all my effort into fixing my mind first. The return on that investment was massive and it came pretty quickly, getting women was essentially a solved problem just from that. I didn't start working out and controlling my diet until a year ago for entirely different …
/r/seduction03/05/25 10:47 PM
1

If your insecurity remains and your self-esteem is unchanged then you'll still be a 2/10, just with a better shaped body. Almost everyone underestimates how huge of an impact it makes to be comfortable in their own skin and have bit of fire within them. I'm not saying you shouldn't get in better shape, it does contribute a bit and there's plenty other good reasons to do it, but it's not what's going to do the heavy lifting in terms of attractiveness. There are dudes out there blessed with good g…
/r/seduction03/05/25 10:12 PM
1

Hey man, I still don't know how to approach. I just go in anyways and what happens happens. Better to just refrain from thinking altogether, walk up and say whatever comes to mind first when you're there. Generally, the less I think, the better it seems to go. It sure was a leap of faith the first few times I did this, but it never really turns out as bad as I would have imagined if I allowed myself to imagine it before acting on my impulses. Usually the worst that happens is I pick up on the fa…
/r/seduction03/05/25 09:40 PM
1

Lol, no.
/r/seduction03/05/25 02:26 PM
6

I don't think this is inherently masculine, more like this presence allows masculinity to emerge. I think it works the same way for women, allowing their feminity to emerge. I can definitely tell if a woman is all there or not, just like women can tell that about me, unless they're not all there themselves. Anyways, with time and practice I have learned how to switch mode pretty much instantly. I can be deep in thought one moment and then just flick it off in an instant if I'm about to talk to s…
/r/seduction03/05/25 03:31 AM
95

I know exactly what you're talking about and it took me quite a while to understand it. About 12 years ago I was not in a good place in life, I had been turned down for the Nth time and I was hurting pretty badly. Had someone told me the experience you're describing here I simply wouldn't believe it. Anyways, around that time I had a faint idea that something was wrong with me, started my quest to figure out what and how to fix it. I worked on myself INTENSELY every day, nothing was more importa…
/r/seduction02/05/25 11:49 PM
2

If you fear competition then you're pretty much fucked with most women, regardless of everything else. If they want to cheat it's not at all hard for them to find options. The problem is a lack of integrity and a heart, not availability of options. I have options and they're certainly very attractive options (superficially speaking), but I'm not gonna go explore those options behind my wife's back under any circumstances. I can cheat any time I want, but I'm not a shit human being who would inte…
/r/seduction01/05/25 11:56 PM
1

It basically boils down to mental state for me. If I'm thinking and analyzing then I'm somewhat worried/anxious. If I'm free of any worry I will flow freely without much thought about anything. How I perform socially is very different between those modes. Most of what makes up my game is to just relax enough to flow, not worry and have fun regardless of the outcomes. The hard part is that I can't put effort into trying to get into this mode because the very nature of it is to let go of control, …
/r/seduction23/04/25 05:54 AM
4

I find that it works to act completely oblivious to the fact that she looks really attractive and instead pay attention to her character/personality. Getting to know her, what she's about, what she likes and all that stuff is what I pay a lot of attention to. Don't be easy, as in make her qualify herself, she has to work a bit for you as well. "Most other men" fold way too soon and let her have whatever she wants without earning it. Only after building a solid rapport after seeing her several ti…
/r/seduction22/04/25 09:43 PM
7

As long as your dick isn't abnormally large or small it's not going to be as important as your skill. The normal range covers the vast majority of penises and you're likely well within that range. Being too large is in fact also problematic. My dick is around average, there's undoubtedly some significant percentage of guys who are bigger than me, but far from all of those guys can compete against my skill. Dicksize doesn't matter if the end result for her is amazing sex, dicksize is far from all…
/r/seduction10/04/25 12:28 PM
13

Oh no, what a horrible crime, we should never speak to anyone ever again because we might disturb them... Seriously though, there's a pretty easy fix for this. Pay attention to her and if she seems disturbed or otherwise uncomfortable with your presence then simply just leave her alone. What they're probably imagining when mentioning cold approaching women, is the creepy dude who doesn't even have the most basic level of empathy to understand when someone feels uncomfortable. He just keeps going…
/r/seduction07/04/25 10:39 PM
40

Replace "cold approaching women" with "walking up to someone to hit up a conversation", see if people think that's wrong. It's literally the same thing.
/r/seduction07/04/25 09:38 PM
3

Is it luck or is it skill? The answer is yes. Without some luck to get opportunities your skills won't matter and without skills you'll waste all your opportunities. Aside from being at the time and place where opportunities exist there's not much else you can do for luck. The rest is skill, so if the opportunities are there and you're not getting anywhere with them, then you need to assess how you can improve your skill. I hate dumbing it down to "just a numbers game" because it will give some …
/r/seduction07/04/25 12:38 AM
21

I have a pretty similar experience. I am in fact good looking, although I realized that a while after changing my mindset. Basically I stopped giving a shit about my looks and just be confident anyways. Despite looking good my insecurity was absolutely destroying any opportunities that came my way, so regardless of physical looks you're pretty much fucked if you have the wrong mindset. I also redefined approaching. It used to have all this pressure behind it to get somewhere with it, it was some…
/r/seduction03/04/25 04:48 PM
6

The trick to making yourself comfortable is to lower your expectations for yourself, take off the pressure that only you in fact are putting on yourself. Right there in your reply you're already overthinking "how to behave alone at a bar", as if there even is a right way to behave. You don't have to do anything alone at a bar. Sitting down, chilling, enjoying a beer or cocktail while doing nothing is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, prove me wrong, lol. You can look at the barman, you can loo…
/r/seduction31/03/25 04:39 PM
11

Your group of friends in that case is a safety net. You don't need a safety net, it just reduces your anxiety a bit to have it. Some guys like myself don't need to rely on a group of friends to have fun, find something to do or feel chill. I thought I was a "social anxiety type" as well, but I developed a hate for my limiting beliefs. "I need a group of friends with me to feel good", why? Fucking why? Says who? I don't, I just believed I needed that and would practically keep myself from feeling…
/r/seduction31/03/25 02:38 PM
2

Yup, it's hard for the guys who haven't experienced this to understand it though. I simply could not see it before I tried to learn, but once I realized how it works I can't unsee it. I became curious to see how far I can go with situational awareness, turns out it's pretty fucking far. If you get it right you can get away with doing some pretty crazy stuff that sounds insane or unbelievable on paper. Not only get away with it, but in fact gain positive attention.
/r/seduction30/03/25 05:33 PM
2

Feeling good precedes getting the girl, trying to get the girl in order to feel better is always a losing game.
/r/seduction28/03/25 05:04 AM
13

They're everywhere, they're just not indiscriminate and desperate, so you'll need a bit more to offer than just being very sexual.
/r/seduction10/03/25 08:00 PM
4

It does exist and she might actually be interested, but it is a stupid strategy. If a woman who is into me is playing hard to get I will take her actions at face value, interpret it as lack of interest and move on. Even if I figure out she's just playing, I won't be pursuing her, in fact that shit turns me off. Her not getting me is her punishment for this stupidity.
/r/seduction10/03/25 06:27 AM
3

Probably wouldn't have made a difference either way.
/r/seduction10/03/25 05:32 AM
55

Doesn't mean she likes you in the way you'd want her to like you.
/r/seduction05/03/25 07:54 AM
2

You're not gonna like it, but what I did was to go against the feeling of anxiety. It was my enemy, if I felt it I knew I wanted to approach and I knew I'd feel it a lot stronger if I did, but it's just a feeling and it can't hurt me so I did it anyways. I also mentally separated feelings and actions. I can't really control how I happen to feel by will, but I can control the movement of my body. So I did not engage with the emotion of anxiety, just put it aside and took direct control of my body…
/r/seduction04/03/25 07:55 AM
7

Sometimes the most signal you'll get is her just letting you continue to escalate. If you do want to get better at picking up signals in those who are a little bit more proactive, then general awareness in the moment is what you need. Your attention being outside of your own mind for the most part, taking in what's going on around you and in front of you. At least in my case I've missed out the most when I've been stuck in my head with my attention drifting off in thoughts. I trained it by pract…
/r/seduction04/03/25 07:38 AM
1

What do you want to do? What possibilities around you seem interesting to you? Go explore. Not much more to it. Think like a kid, you go outside and just find some shit to do to entertain yourself. Except now you have more possibilities than a kid has.
/r/seduction02/03/25 04:41 PM
1

Unless it's clear that it's something about me I will assume it's something about her. If it's something about me then the best I can do is improve for the future and let go of her because I respect her feelings and understand I can't change them. Basically be mature.
/r/seduction28/02/25 11:55 AM
3

I killed my ego. I saw through the illusion that being rejected by someone who doesn't even fucking know me says anything at all about me, it doesn't. So what is there to feel bad about when you stop thinking you're so damn important? Nothing really, unless you've got negative self-talk, but quitting won't get rid of that anyways.
/r/seduction28/02/25 04:08 AM
2

I'd add competence.
/r/seduction26/02/25 05:18 PM
3

It really isn't more complicated than building suspense and baiting her into investing more to get the answers to her burning questions. Think of a TV show or a movie, it's building suspense (making you wonder about things) and you have to keep watching (invest time) to see the conclusion (get answers). How good does instant gratification really feel? It passes almost instantly as well and certainly doesn't make you invest, you just move on to the next thing. It's pretty much the same psychology…
/r/seduction25/02/25 06:03 AM
1

Don't say you just want to sleep with them, it's better to say you just want to have fun and you're not looking for anything serious. Saying you just want to sleep with her sounds kinda bad. There's definitely women out there who want the same, not wanting something serious but still wants to remain sexually active. Such women can be anywhere, you have to figure out where they stand on it through flirting/conversation.
/r/seduction25/02/25 12:59 AM
2

I think I've had most unethical manipulation tactics used against me, perks of having an abusive parent. I know how it works and there's nobody who will get me to do something I do not really want to do through the use of such tactics, not anymore. The best persuasion is ethical, where not only you win, but also the other person in some form. So there's my "secret" to persuasion, finding the way where both wins, which isn't always easy and is why it's not an amateur way of doing it. Still, there…
/r/seduction24/02/25 10:41 PM
3

You've said more than enough for us to get the picture. Personally I don't want a course in how to be a narcissist.
/r/seduction24/02/25 06:55 PM
1

Sure, but that doesn't answer what I asked.
/r/seduction24/02/25 06:52 PM
18

I'm in fact married in a healthy relationship that's getting close to 10 years total. I'm in this subreddit, not because I need help, but to provide a perspective that guys who haven't yet ended up in my position can't really offer. If this place was only guys who can't get or keep women then it stands to reason there's really nobody here who can really offer advice to get to that point. You are correct that your way does work, but it's not healthy or sustainable and I doubt most guys would even…
/r/seduction24/02/25 05:39 PM
2

Fully agree with this statement, the real answers are usually somewhere in the middle. That said, assholes do get further than nice guys and simps, but it's not healthy.
/r/seduction24/02/25 02:51 PM
3

I agree with most of this, except that confidence can be faked. Even if someone is a good actor it takes confidence to believably pull off acting confident. Unless you're just talking about guys who can keep of a facade for a little while before inevitably being exposed because they can't suppress their insecurities forever. I also have a whole bit about being nice and not. Be nice if she's nice, go ahead and be mean if she's mean. Reward good behavior, punish bad behavior. This is the very impo…
/r/seduction24/02/25 01:39 PM
19

They're in the moment and in moment that behavior is a lot more emotionally exciting than "where do you work?". So many guys think it's the fact that the other guys are assholes that does the trick, but it's not really about that. It's the fact that they're in the moment, unfiltered and feeling confident. Some of them just also happen to be assholes. You can get just as far and arguably even further by being in the moment, unfiltered and confident without being an asshole. Asshole behavior will …
/r/seduction24/02/25 05:03 AM
1

One time I went out to a bar on second day of Christmas in a full reindeer costume while most others there wore a suits, dresses or nicer attire. I owned it. I was not lacking any social validation that night, it was fun. I can totally see how it went as it went for you.
/r/seduction24/02/25 12:18 AM
1

"You're cute." She gives "I know." You take they often tell me to "get over myself" What do you have to give? match my energy when I play hard to get and themselves play hard to get until it's a game of who folds first, but none of us does. They gave and are waiting for you to give back, but you don't because you can't get over yourself and you keep waiting for her to give you more in return for nothing. If she made a positive gesture and this dynamic follows it then you're the one who should fo…
/r/seduction23/02/25 02:42 PM
1

I want to add that having core confidence makes situational confidence much easier to gain, so working on core confidence should be a priority. Core confidence seems less common to me. Many guys will do great within their comfort zone, including many situations where they're talking to women, but if something about the situation changes they lose all momentum and the woman. Core confidence is to be comfortable with the unknown.
/r/seduction22/02/25 11:57 AM
20

She doesn't like texting. I'm the same way, just use it for logistics and don't try to have meaningful conversations on text outside of that, save it for face to face. She sounds like my dream girl, fuck I hate texting just for the sake of it.
/r/seduction20/02/25 07:34 PM
0

Then you and I desire very different things.
/r/seduction19/02/25 03:53 AM
15

Don't mess with married women, no matter how many "signals" she gives you.
/r/seduction19/02/25 03:50 AM
11

Easy, don't pursue relationship. The moment it feels bad, you're out. If it never feels bad, it's a relationship.
/r/seduction18/02/25 09:52 PM
1

There's always hope. I used to have really bad social anxiety, but now it doesn't exist in me. I might even be a bit too comfortable sometimes... I got started by exposing myself to what I found uncomfortable. It helped in the short term, but it also brought up deeper stuff I had to deal with before really getting comfortable in my own skin in a more lasting sense. It was hard to go through, but I really really wanted to become the guy I have become, I couldn't stand living in fear anymore.
/r/seduction17/02/25 07:02 AM
1

Something that has been misunderstood and inappropriately applied ever since negging became a topic among those who want to pick up women. Most guys just apply it pretty much at random for its own sake, instead of understanding how and why it could work and when it doesn't work. What ends up happening is that the guy negs the woman, but he did so inappropriately and just ends up insulting her. The appropriate use is as a response to her being a bit mean, essentially to show you're not just gonna…
/r/seduction14/02/25 10:11 AM
1

What's happening is that she isn't really over him, she hasn't healed from the break up whether she did it or he did and she still feels some sort of attachment to him. It's not really so much about traits, it's about failure to let go and let the past be the past. Thing is that they have a history, they have shared experience and she has already sunk quite a bit of time and emotional investment into him. If she doesn't let that go it will pull on her emotionally. I understand this as a married …
/r/seduction13/02/25 11:13 PM
1

None of the things you mentioned are critical for attraction. Lots of guys have their shit together without having the ability to give women the tingles. You mention in another comment that you might be coming off as an asshole and that would definitely be something that matters. I'd start by looking into that. For the most part women want a guy they feel good about in some way, if you're too much of an asshole it's obviously gonna be hard for them to feel good about you. How can that be? We all…
/r/seduction12/02/25 11:11 PM
5

This one takes social calibration and reading the situation, like sensing that she's attracted to you and preferably just waiting for something to happen kinda. It also has to be playful in a way. You can use an authoritative tone, but you have to be pretty sure that when viewed in context she'll interpret it playfully in that she understands that you're not seriously taking that tone. So you see, this move is a little bit complex and takes a fair bit of understanding about social play to use ap…
/r/seduction12/02/25 06:23 PM
1

Another part of it is when I'm being playful with someone I sometimes say stuff about them I find funny that might offend them if they're the type of person who takes themselves too seriously. Teasing and poking fun at them in a lighthearted way. Someone fishing for approval likely won't be taking that risk.
/r/seduction11/02/25 03:24 PM
1

Think about how if you're attracted to someone you'd want her to touch you, the same is true in reverse. Assume she's attracted to you and want you to touch her. If she is she'll at the very least not stop you, but she might start touching you back too which would very clearly communicate that she likes it. You might be wrong and she doesn't want you to touch her or to not touch you more intimately yet. If that's the case you'll know and just have to take a step back, it's not a big deal as long…
/r/seduction11/02/25 03:03 PM
2

As with every PUA strategy it's emulating behaviors on a surface level without explaining where these behaviors come from on a deeper level in order to apply it appropriately. Letting her win you over is for her to qualify herself to you, what we need to do here is ask why that is? Well, it's a reality that some women do not have good intentions. Considering this it's wise for a guy to be somewhat skeptical about a woman until her intentions are made more clear. If you do not hold back to let a …
/r/seduction09/02/25 06:56 AM
2

Can't always tell, I'm not a mind reader, so I just ask her.
/r/seduction05/02/25 06:16 AM
2

I have no idea, but I'll guess they're generally pretty comfortable with all the physical stuff. The emotional side is probably as varied as it is with anyone else. From that I'd guess hooking up won't be that hard, but they're not necessarily better at relationships.
/r/seduction03/02/25 10:44 PM
1

Apparently it is. Plenty of guys would rather suffer forever than to face discomfort up front for a short moment.
/r/seduction03/02/25 09:08 AM
1

Expect it, move on when that happens without spending mental energy on it. Focus on finding ways to enjoy the process regardless of outcome. If you're having fun with it even if you're not getting any action then it's not really hard at all to endure. If you need results you're gonna have a bad time and decrease the chance of getting results.
/r/seduction02/02/25 06:36 PM
1

This is why I went about it all backwards, I solved my fears first. I wasn't rich, I wasn't athletic, I had a relatively average job and I didn't have anything in particular that would impress anyone just by the fact of me having it. I lived in a shitty little apartment I rented for cheap. None of that proved to be any obstacle to getting women, the biggest obstacle was always myself and my fears. I didn't do shit about any of the other stuff, all I did was dedicate my time and energy on conquer…
/r/seduction01/02/25 03:46 PM
2

You might get over it if you can refrain from doing something stupid for a while until the relationship you have grows deeper. I can relate to missing the thrill, sometimes I still do and that's ok, the feeling passes as I remind myself of what I have. I've now been with the same woman for over 9 years, we're married and the relationship is very healthy. I would be a fool to throw her away just for the thrill, because the incredible intimacy we have cannot be replaced by any woman out there, not…
/r/seduction31/01/25 09:38 PM
0

Supposed to? It's not about what you're "supposed to" do, it's about what you actually want and failing to act on it knowing you'll later regret that decision. If you suffer no regret from not taking action then there is no issue. This is not the case for many though, else they wouldn't be here asking about how to do what they really want to do. Yes, it's a small part, look at it as just an example. The concept applies to any situation where you fail to do what you desire to do because of anxiet…
/r/seduction31/01/25 06:52 PM
5

Oh yeah, it's supposed to. If you don't feel it then there won't really be any change, the stronger the feeling, the more likely it is to cause a change in behavior. In a way this is inflicting trauma on yourself, but to cause a positive change instead of a negative one, emotional programming if you want to call it that. First time I came across this perspective I cried hard grieving all the opportunities I had already missed, the pain was overwhelming and to imagine decades more of that was unb…
/r/seduction31/01/25 01:22 PM
6

You might be shocked to learn that I got out of depression by imagining and accepting a lifetime of suffering from it. I tried that positivity bullshit and it just made everything worse, refusing to accept current reality, as it is, never did me any favors. Thinking/dreaming about positive outcomes is just setting yourself up for a whole lot of disappointment. If you really want to feel good you expect the worst, accept it, do it anyways and feel happy when the outcome is a lot better than antic…
/r/seduction31/01/25 12:34 PM
119

Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back at your life feeling the crushing regret of thousands upon thousands of missed opportunities that could have put your entire life on a far better trajectory, but now it's too late to change it, you leave this life having not really lived it to its fullest. How many more times can you pick inaction before you just can't take the ever increasing feeling of regret? How much regret does it take to outweigh your fears? I don't know about you, but the ide…
/r/seduction31/01/25 12:50 AM
10

Your first point is highly individual. There is no "correct" amount of time that's universally applicable. I'd urge anyone to really learn to read context and actually understand when it's time instead of basically blindly going by some arbitrary time limit. In our case that time came about a month and a half into dating. Context being that everyone around us constantly kept asking about it, we were already practically acting like it, the label itself didn't matter a whole lot to either of us an…
/r/seduction29/01/25 06:57 PM
5

No, I got lucky really quickly after I got to that point. As in lucky to have found her, a woman who is naturally low drama and enjoyable to spend time with. I was also already past the fucking around stage, didn't need rock solid frame for that, but it meant I couldn't keep them around though, I was just good enough at hooking them at first.
/r/seduction29/01/25 02:14 PM
8

I'm married and there has been no bullshit for the 9 years we've been together in total, otherwise I wouldn't have been with her. She challenged me a bit at the start, but quickly found out I'm serious and have low tolerance for bullshit. It extends beyond just dating too, it's a general social skill. Most people in general seem to respect me more.
/r/seduction29/01/25 02:08 PM
54

Holding frame is really easy if the frame is something you fully believe in and is unwilling to compromise on under any circumstances. I don't put on a strong frame to make someone like me, in fact, some people really dislike my frame some times. I have a strong frame because it's about something I truly stand for, it's meaningful to me and has value to me. It's easy to me because I'd rather lose the woman than lose myself. I am who I am, if they don't like it they're free to leave. So either th…
/r/seduction29/01/25 01:46 PM
1

I wouldn't. Making demands already before even seeing her is just plain ridiculous, no self-respecting man will go along with that. I'd tell her I'm not the doormat she's looking for.
/r/seduction28/01/25 03:52 PM
2

I stopped expecting things to go my way all the time. It is what it is and instead of wasting any further energy on feeling bad about it I'd rather spend it on the next thing. I either can or can't do something about a situation, if there is something I can do I just do what I can do. If I can't do anything about it then there is no better option than to accept it, let it go and move on. Things won't always go my way, that is just a fact of life, one that all people gets exposed to their entire …
/r/seduction28/01/25 01:32 AM
2

Thanks! The gist of it is that at some point you simply just have to decide that some woman is good enough and switch to growth within the relationship with that particular woman. You'll have to commit some and give it a fair chance to develop. Just to mix in some empathy. Your current pattern from their perspective looks like the guy who can't commit, you're keeping one foot out the door. Imagine you do find the woman who's better than all the others and want to finally commit, but she's the on…
/r/seduction27/01/25 10:45 PM
3

Ah, yes, the grass is always greener on the other side syndrome. Here's what I think on this subject. You'll encounter this same trap with self-improvement in general, always wanting more and better, it's never enough, it's never good enough. There's something inherently negative about this because it implies a constant state of lack in the moment. Your mind living more in a hypothetical future than enjoying what's right in front of you this moment. So yes, this is hurting you, because nothing w…
/r/seduction27/01/25 08:05 PM
4

Don't worry too much about compensating with personality, you'll just end up looking like you're overcompensating with personality. The most important change you can make is to not be insecure about your height, being affected by it will hurt your chances. Some women will not be interested because of your height, that's a reality, the best you can do is move on to someone else. These women aren't for you, simple as, go find someone who is. Regardless of what you've got going for you, some women …
/r/seduction27/01/25 02:32 PM
2

I feel really good about it and judge her positively if the compliments are genuine. I won't feel much of anything and judge her negatively if the compliments are intended to manipulate me. Now the hard part. To determine which one it is I won't do anything she asks of me shortly after, if anything. I also won't give her anything I suspect she could potentially be after as a response following the compliment. If she doesn't ask anything of me and her demeanor towards me stays the same despite no…
/r/seduction26/01/25 10:49 PM
2

wouldn’t a woman who isn’t that interested just move on and talk to another guy? I would like to point out that if she's not that interested she'll do this regardless, talking to her more won't change that. If she is interested however, leaving her some time and room to wonder and fantasize about you can be very effective. Please note that this doesn't really create interest, it can only serve to amplify interest that's already there. By overcommunicating you can ruin interest that's already the…
/r/seduction25/01/25 09:07 AM
1

Read the various replies I've made already for others asking the same thing.
/r/seduction25/01/25 03:48 AM
5

Some women take issue with that, sure. Some think they care, but don't if you have other redeeming qualities. Some don't care at all. Do you know what pretty much no women like? A guy with low self-esteem. Your chances as a shorter guy with high self-esteem is significantly better than a tall guy with low self-esteem, because low self-esteem is vastly more unattractive than just being short. Some things you can't change, but to not bother with the things you can improve because of that is just f…
/r/seduction24/01/25 02:32 PM
2

I hate writing, so no journaling, but I've heard many find it useful. It was mostly just meditation, trying to uncover as much about what was going on in there as possible. Particularly the more uncomfortable things I avoided facing for far too long. I reminded myself that no matter how terrible it feels, it's just feelings and it can't actually hurt me. I was mainly looking for memories, past experiences in my life. You'd think you'd easily remember most of it, but I found a lot of memories I h…
/r/seduction24/01/25 02:02 PM
5

I was determined to figure out the root causes of why the fuck I believed I was unworthy. At some point I started believing that and before that point as a child I was basically as confident as one can be. I started digging through my memories basically to understand myself and get back to my natural state.
/r/seduction24/01/25 01:38 PM
6

Figure out why you think so little of yourself or who or what made you believe you're not good enough, realize that before this point in your life you just assumed you were worthy or at least didn't believe you were unworthy.
/r/seduction24/01/25 01:31 PM
2

I just did introspection, sitting with it, digging through the chaos of my own mind until it became reasonably clear what the issues were. It's probably not a quick and easy process chipping away at all that crap.
/r/seduction24/01/25 11:37 AM
37

The reward of focusing on fixing the root of the self-esteem issue is much greater than the reward of dating while essentially being emotionally crippled. I started out dating back when my self-esteem was fucked, but it wasn't going well so I put that on hold and worked on myself instead. Then I came back to dating and it was going a lot better. If your self-esteem is in the gutter you're just wasting your time banging your head against dating. Best case you just keep getting rejected, worst cas…
/r/seduction24/01/25 08:24 AM
1

As any other. If you let the facts about her circumstances make you insecure it will probably ruin it, just like with any other.
/r/seduction19/01/25 05:35 PM
3

I think there is no other way, you can't succeed without approaching and you can't approach without risking rejection. So it's not really a strategy, it's a mandatory prerequisite to seducing women. You can't seduce women if you don't even walk up to talk to them, obviously.
/r/seduction19/01/25 03:12 PM
40

Not only does it make you needy, it also makes you bland and boring. Holding back on "risky" impulses because of fear of fucking it up by upsetting her or something. Thing is that potentially upsetting her by your way of being makes things more interesting, makes you more interesting. Not being outcome dependent goes hand in hand with fully being oneself and being authentic. Saying and doing things that some women might in fact not like, but doing it anyways because that's just how you are, no f…
/r/seduction19/01/25 02:14 PM
20

Better to risk her rejecting you than guaranteeing it by rejecting yourself before even trying.
/r/seduction19/01/25 11:27 AM
2

Oh well, if you're content with being stringed along then I'll leave you to it.
/r/seduction18/01/25 06:56 PM
1

You must have said that in a comment or something, which I haven't read. I don't see that mentioned anywhere in your post. Anyways, if she has been like this for 6 month it's very unlikely she'll just somehow change. She's acting more like a friend. If the roles were reversed you'd be friendzoned waaaaaaaaaay before 6 months for lack of basically a sexuality.
/r/seduction18/01/25 06:45 PM
2

6 months? Fuck, I'd just straight up lose interest within the first couple of weeks, tops. What is this? Your only option in the last 5 years or something?
/r/seduction18/01/25 02:10 PM
3

I see, you already know the answer. She always comes back for the attention, but it's not actually going anywhere. It's words, not much actions. Actions speak louder than words, these are words of wisdom. My advice to you: Stop wasting your time on something you know isn't going anywhere. Virgin or not, any woman actually interested in going anywhere with you would actually go somewhere with you, this one isn't.
/r/seduction18/01/25 12:17 AM
4

My wife was a virgin, never been with anyone and all that. The only thing I really had to be patient about was sex (a bit over a month for anyone wondering). She never made it hard for me to see her, saw each other 1-2 times a week at first and it was pretty much just about matching our schedules. If I were you I'd back off a little bit and stop putting in the effort to ask her out. Sounds like you've done that plenty already. So either she puts in the effort because she doesn't want to fuck thi…
/r/seduction18/01/25 12:08 AM
1

Is it vital to attract pretenders, these "cool" people? No, the answer is no. Might be fun right away, but there's no fucking sustainability to it. It's not going to last like that, so what's the point when it's pretty much guaranteed to end in heartbreak? They're not gonna stay that hot for life anyways, getting old is a thing.
/r/seduction13/01/25 04:56 PM
4

It's enough that she's not interested in you for whatever reason, you don't have to put yourself down as well. You spinning a fantasy in your mind about how shitty you are does NOT help.
/r/seduction09/01/25 03:44 PM
4

The exaggerated "sure" was probably more of a sarcastic "sure", meaning "not really". You weren't really welcome right from the start.
/r/seduction08/01/25 06:22 PM
15

I think this is great advice. Negative assumptions will absolutely destroy the vibe, even if everything is otherwise good and it could have worked out. I've had enough of similar experiences to just solidify this in my mind.
/r/seduction08/01/25 06:38 AM
91

Yes, but I'm not even trying. This new girl at work is very good looking and the workplace is overwhelmingly male dominated, so naturally half the guys there turned into simps over her, it's so obvious it's not even funny. She's not interested. I just wanted to get to know her like a normal person, not get with her at all because I'm married and my wife is amazing. Anyways, that made me stand out enough in a positive way that she's clearly interested in me on some level. Not seen so much at work…
/r/seduction06/01/25 05:53 PM
1

When the focus is on giving myself a good time rather than trying to make an impression they like me a lot more. Some women won't like whatever the fuck I do, but do I really want to impress those types of women? They're no fun when it's gonna be like that. It's easy in seduction to get hung up on "getting women", not even fucking enjoying it, I got tired of that and said fuck it. Started just messing with them for my own amusement instead, that's fun.
/r/seduction06/01/25 04:40 PM
9

Back when I was going out a lot, trying to learn the art, I always fumbled the most when I tried to "do it right". That is until out of sheer curiosity I tried stuff I thought surely wouldn't work, fully expecting it to fail. To my surprise I had more success with that than when I tried to do anything "properly". So what's really a fumble? That's a bit of a fuzzy concept to me, because it appears trying to make it work leads to fumbling and trying to fumble it just kinda works somehow. The times…
/r/seduction06/01/25 06:45 AM
2

The best way to answer that question is to go out to explore several different local areas, gather experience and from that make out which areas work better for you.
/r/seduction05/01/25 06:28 AM
4

Think of selfishness and selflessness as one spectrum. Fear of rejection is on the selfish end of the spectrum, where you fear for yourself. You are at the other end of the spectrum, fearing for the other. Fear is the problem in both cases. Both sides requires compromise to be able to handle. In the case of fearing rejection there's accepting that it's going to happen, no matter how good you get. In the case of fearing to scare women there's accepting that some women will be scared, no matter ho…
/r/seduction31/12/24 10:14 PM
2

Go search his name on YouTube, he has a ton of free videos. Search Julien Blanc.
/r/seduction31/12/24 09:49 AM
3

Most of the old RSD stuff is no longer available on YouTube, but I do find the new content from particularly Julien to be pretty much the same wisdom wrapped in a more generalized packaging. Still highly relevant for anyone struggling with anxiety, also in situations where you're interacting with women. It's just no longer specifically aimed at guys trying to seduce women, but what he teaches are still the same underlying principles as he did 10 years ago. I'd say it's perhaps even better define…
/r/seduction30/12/24 06:32 PM
4

It's pretty clear you don't know anything about this type of problem and it would be better if you didn't participate at all in this discussion. You have contributed nothing other than being a shit to OP and then trying to rationalize your unacceptable behavior.
/r/seduction28/12/24 09:51 PM
3

Is there really no point in your life that you can remember where you either believed you were good enough or was naturally confident because you didn't even think in such terms? Early childhood? Any memory at all where you were 100% yourself without a care in the world? We are all born not giving a fuck, having absolute confidence in our expression, then somewhere along the way someone projects their negativity onto us and we adapt by silencing our own voice. It's a coping mechanism, one that m…
/r/seduction28/12/24 09:46 PM
5

This guy needs just as much help as anyone else struggling with their self-esteem and insecurity, the main thing holding most men back from success with women whether they look amazing or not. Fuck, I've gotten the occasional attention from women myself throughout most of my life, but my confidence was down the drain and I was suffering until I actively worked to resolve the issue at age 22. It's a real fucking problem that can affect any man regardless of their external attractiveness and it ca…
/r/seduction28/12/24 09:29 PM
1

Get comfortable with silence then, if you truly don't have anything to say then don't try to force it, just stay silent. You're right that it's about energy, emotions and such. This applies to yourself in your own mind as well. Worrying or being uncomfortable absolutely kills the flow of thoughts. It seems running out of things to say induces this feeling in you and then the feeling keeps you stuck, resisting this feeling only amplifies it, still keeping you stuck with a blank mind. You can try …
/r/seduction28/12/24 01:53 PM
2

True lasting confidence comes from within and is based around something intrinsic to you that nobody can take away, something that can last your entire life. Confidence can be temporarily had based on external circumstances, but most things external are impermanent. Lose the thing you centered your confidence around and you will lose your confidence along with it. Examples of such external things are your looks, a girlfriend, a job, your friends, social status, wealth or anything else you have n…
/r/seduction27/12/24 11:42 PM
1

Find someone to talk to, tell them whatever is on your mind and ask them about themselves. Either they do their half of the conversation or they don't. If not then leave them alone and find someone interested in conversing with you instead, some people just don't like it or it makes them uncomfortable, just respect that. Other people do like it though.
/r/seduction27/12/24 01:34 PM
4

Thing is that with enough time you don't need to actively test in any sort of artificial way. There's no need to force it. With enough time you'll have lived through situations that naturally arise where trust is essential and by paying attention you'll see how she handles it. Making shit up just for the sake of putting her through tests is insecure, douchy and unnecessary.
/r/seduction26/12/24 03:38 PM
12

The one huge advantage of anxious people is their ability to rapidly make up endless excuses that they'll buy right into. The problem is using this highly effective ability to avoid doing things, making up a bunch of excuses on the spot to NOT do something. This makes it seem impossible to do things. If this ability is flipped around and used to make up endless excuses to do something, it becomes a very powerful motivator. Instead of making up shit about how bad oneself is, the same ability can …
/r/seduction26/12/24 03:33 PM
7

The best test is giving it enough time, always paying attention to her and seeing if she remains consistent. Actively trying to test her is doomed to make you come off like an insecure douchebag. Give it at least a couple of years of living together every day. I refuse to believe anyone who says there were no signs if they waited that long, married and then everything changed. I can believe they didn't pay enough attention or were in denial about it, but if she's a bad choice there is no way any…
/r/seduction26/12/24 03:19 PM
4

Go outside, observe where women are generally present. The best places are always where they're expecting to be approached, you know where that is, nightlife places... If you're going by day then pretty much anywhere is about the same. Thinking "this place is not on the list of best places, so I won't bother trying" is just a silly excuse, might as well try because the place is not much better or worse than other places during day.
/r/seduction23/12/24 09:49 PM
9

Isn't that the definition of a cold approach? I've always thought if there's IOIs then it's a warm approach...
/r/seduction23/12/24 04:47 PM
1

I don't remember exactly, it's 11 years since I did this. It was just a wide variety of psychology, philosophy and self help resources I looked up online. Free stuff because I was never dumb enough to believe what anyone sold couldn't be found for free with enough Googling.
/r/seduction23/12/24 04:37 PM
2

What? I say "thank you" for every little thing someone does for me and I mean it. That's not a problem. Being too nice is about doing too much for others, especially when they don't really deserve it or you don't genuinely feel like doing it. That's when you come off as weak. Especially when it comes to women you will need to hit the brakes on being too nice and instead focus on whether the interaction is fair and balanced. If at any time you've given more than you've received, slam the brakes a…
/r/seduction23/12/24 01:46 PM
2

Be curious and ask questions about them, pay attention to what they tell you about themselves, what they do and what they like. Ask follow up questions about something they tell you. This shows that you're interested in them and the questions being related to something they've told you shows that you're actually listening. Most people love talking about themselves, all you need to do is nudge them with questions.
/r/seduction23/12/24 09:31 AM
-2

Game is what you run before you understand love.
/r/seduction22/12/24 10:05 PM
3

Didn't do therapy, probably should have though. My issues were way more severe than I realized at the time, but by the time I realized that I was basically already through it. I did a lot of reading about it, exposing myself to triggering situations and digging into those feelings to get to the root cause of them so I could resolve it.
/r/seduction22/12/24 06:10 AM
20

Been there, done that. Came from low self-esteem, subconsciously thinking I'm not good enough and as such assuming my presence would bother them rather than be enjoyed. Maybe some of them would feel bothered if you approached them, but guess what? You can just walk away again if that's the case. If you don't approach them you also take away any chance of giving her a good time as well. If you think about it you have to be pretty arrogant to just assume they'll be bothered by you walking over the…
/r/seduction21/12/24 12:25 PM
6

Express how you felt the night went.
/r/seduction21/12/24 04:06 AM
17

Shrug, walk away.
/r/seduction20/12/24 02:09 PM
3

I value honesty and care about being ethical, so if I know in advance that anything serious is out of the question I would communicate it in some way. However, if I'm open to something more and still honestly undecided on the matter I would just see where things go. If I do make up my mind at a later time that I'm not into anything serious then I will let it be known. If you already know you're not interested in relationship then the situation isn't really vague is it? If you fail to communicate…
/r/seduction20/12/24 08:02 AM
1

Basically insecurities, what someone believes they're not good at or good enough at.
/r/seduction20/12/24 06:44 AM
8

Don't avoid sexual topics. Most women want a good fuck, step one is showing in some way you want to fuck at all. Sex isn't inappropriate, there's just some situations where bringing it up might be. What's inappropriate most of the time is being vulgar, being sexually suggestive here and there is acceptable. I do that occasionally even if I have no intention or desire of having sex with anyone present, because it's fun. You're going to have to dip your toes into the sexual space if you want to fl…
/r/seduction19/12/24 05:17 PM
19

Just the perspective of "getting sucked into a relationship" rubs me the wrong way. You're responsible for going along with something you don't want, so there is no getting sucked into it, only the choice of going along with it. If you want one thing and she wants another then there is only one way, to communicate what you want and go your separate ways if an agreement can't be reached about it.
/r/seduction19/12/24 10:02 AM
2

Blocking is for when someone keeps bothering you and telling them to stop doesn't make them stop. Blocking someone as a "power move" when they're not harassing you is without a doubt reactive behavior. It's going out of your way to send a message that you don't care, for which the act itself is evidence that you do care too much. If you truly don't care then you just disengage and move on. Only blocking if they keep spamming you with annoying crap.
/r/seduction15/12/24 05:55 PM
1

The obvious solution to unenjoyable people is to stop being with them. Walk away, go find someone better.
/r/seduction15/12/24 05:25 PM
3

Tell them you're just looking for some fun or not looking for anything serious when things start getting a bit hot.
/r/seduction15/12/24 12:07 PM
1

Nobody is entitled to anybody. Women aren't entitled to me and I'm not entitled to women. In fact, feelings of entitlement is pretty much universally frowned upon. Viewing any human being as a prize is fucked up, including oneself as that's just elevating oneself above others and looking down on them. Looking down on anyone is also frowned upon by anyone with even just a hint of moral understanding. Above, below, it's all meaningless to me. I didn't care about that shit when I was a kid and my v…
/r/seduction14/12/24 10:08 PM
1

Lust doesn't turn them off, expressing it in the wrong way does. I think the mistake is when lust is centered around fulfilling it for oneself instead of focused on unleashing it onto them to give them a good time. It's not a good thing when it's purely selfish. I'm often close enough to observe how other guys interact with women and it's quite obvious to me when their need is bigger than their willingness to give. Many women will happily let you fuck their brains out if they believe you actuall…
/r/seduction14/12/24 01:11 AM
1

Nobody knows how anything will play out with someone they barely know, that's the nature of it
/r/seduction13/12/24 11:57 PM
1

There is a way to see this that has some merit, but it is exceptionally poor advice for the less morally and emotionally developed if followed literally. That's the part that's lacking about "mode 1" and that brings guys into imagining they'll approach someone doing things that will OBVIOUSLY make women afraid of them. The way I see it I'm already doing "mode 1", but I'm always going in with the intention of creating a good time for everyone involved. I could be inappropriate, but I don't want t…
/r/seduction13/12/24 11:03 PM
3

I want to add that I don't disagree with your attitude on this, I think it's silly to have it viewed that way, but I understand that some women view it as desperation because they've probably experienced it before where that was in fact the case. To OP I'm inclined to suggest just being honest like "my plans got cancelled, are you still free for today?", but I realistically think he has slightly better odds just delaying until the next opening. Neither option is wrong and if she takes the first …
/r/seduction13/12/24 10:46 PM
3

Some women might see it that way, but there's definitely many women who get turned off by it. Done this myself a few times and the coldness from them was VERY noticable, at least in hindsight. This goes for the very early, low investment stages though. When she's more emotionally invested it becomes much more flattering. Bad for attraction, good when she's already in deep enough.
/r/seduction13/12/24 10:29 PM
5

The reason to start a conversation with them is that you simply want to talk to them and see where that goes. That's all the reason you need. You don't think that reason is good enough, but it is. Don't make this any harder than it needs to be. Stop talking yourself out of it and start talking yourself into it instead.
/r/seduction12/12/24 06:52 PM
6

This is very far from a healthy dynamic and at this point you're both in too deep for this to end without facing some pretty hard feelings. If I were put in your shoes with the knowledge I currently possess I'd break this off completely. You're essentially pretending not to care while continuing to act and think as if you do. If I had to guess, because keeping her attention feeds your ego.
/r/seduction11/12/24 03:36 AM
2

I've seen you around this sub a lot and I can tell you know what you're talking about. I'm curious about your book and would like a copy, I'd also be happy to provide feedback when done.
/r/seduction11/12/24 12:24 AM
1

The "technical stuff" is really just a description of the external behaviors that result from inner game being on point. It has been a mistake all along trying to teach guys techniques and not teaching guys how said techniques came to be. Teach a man to fish...
/r/seduction11/12/24 12:13 AM
3

I generally find it cumbersome to think in terms of frames. There's only what I want and what the other person wants, then it's a matter of whether it aligns or not. If not then it's a matter of whether either or both are willing to align or not. I'm willing to adapt a little bit to others, but I do expect the same of others as well. If my boss comes up to me and is wrong I will tell my boss he's wrong. A good leader will at least listen to feedback, a bad one won't. A good leader has a flexible…
/r/seduction09/12/24 04:17 AM
4

I'd call her a 2. Single mother, fat, face ugly as hell. Her blowjob game was really really good though, I'll give her that, just a shame I was way too drunk to cum. Ended up just telling her to stop at some point because it wasn't happening, she seemed like she could do that forever and I just wanted to sleep. This pretty much happened out of sheer desperation, had been a while, I was pretty inexperienced and had a hard time finding opportunities at all. Despite all of that I immediately regret…
/r/seduction06/12/24 01:44 AM
2

Here are your options and possible outcomes: You try and something happens. You try, but nothing happens. You don't try and nothing happens. As can clearly been seen something might happen if you try, but nothing will definitely happen if you don't try.
/r/seduction05/12/24 09:35 PM
23

My advice would be pretty similar. I'd also throw in the very sobering fact that being alone is a lot better than picking a bad woman. Something that's impossible to properly judge if your mind is stuck trying to seek approval. I'm trying harder to figure out if someone is actually good. I'm more worried about them playing me than I am about trying to play them. Women also play stupid games and guys playing stupid games on women no doubt looks just as pathetic as women I see trying the same on g…
/r/seduction02/12/24 04:48 PM
5

Remember even younger self, forget the stupid crap learned since then and be that kid.
/r/seduction02/12/24 02:20 PM
2

I wish you good luck on your journey. The hardest part for me was facing the pain, but my suffering did not cease until I did that. It's hard to face pain because it seems like your life is getting worse, at first it does, but once you're through it your life will be better than it was before. It's a choice between temporary pain and a lifetime of suffering, one is much more intense, but finite. The other can taint your joy for a lifetime or at least until you can't take it anymore and are faced…
/r/seduction01/12/24 04:20 PM
1

A bit into improving myself I was at the point I had enough confidence to do whatever, but not enough wisdom to stop myself from doing truly stupid things. It was at this point I sent some very sexually forward messages to my ex (first girlfriend, didn't last long at all, it was 6 years earlier at that point with no communication in between). She was remarkably polite given what I was throwing at her, but she declined of course. There's not much I cringe about regarding my past mistakes, but thi…
/r/seduction01/12/24 07:23 AM
6

The problem with lying is that it's pretty much universally disliked and if it ever gets serious with a woman you might blow the entire thing when she inevitably finds out. That's gonna suck if you really like her. You don't have to volunteer this information, at least not early on. If asked you don't have to go in depth or start divulging your entire life story. Be honest, but don't give more detail than just enough to answer her question. It's not dishonest to not reveal everything about yours…
/r/seduction01/12/24 05:59 AM
11

Her feelings may very well be hurt, but her feelings will be hurt more by basically all of the other options. Being honest is the kindest option because it's the least hurtful option. If you slowly distance yourself she could hurt more because she's left wondering what went wrong, she might assume she did something wrong or there's something wrong about her. If you're just honest it will be clear to her that it's you, not her. Easier for her to move on from. If you really care about hurting her …
/r/seduction30/11/24 03:15 AM
3

You don't know how you come off before you go do it, only your own assumption of how you might come off. When approaching anyone there's always the risk of being perceived negatively and you can always turn that into an excuse to not go find out. Personally I prefer taking the risk, there's rarely any rewards in life without some risk. If she doesn't like it you can just respect her wishes and leave her alone, it's not hard, unless you have a vulnerable ego of course.
/r/seduction30/11/24 12:58 AM
3

Don't beat yourself. Feel it, remember what you've learn and hope it triggers the next time an opportunity arises so you'll choose differently.
/r/seduction30/11/24 12:45 AM
13

Approach. If you do there's a non-zero chance of something interesting happening. If you don't there's a 100% of nothing happening. If she expresses that she doesn't like your presence you can just leave her to it and walk away.
/r/seduction30/11/24 12:28 AM
3

That's going to be a very long post and I don't have time to type all of that out, but you can probably pick up a lot of it in my relatively recent comment history.
/r/seduction29/11/24 06:27 PM
2

I’d bet kindness is more of a thing for attraction for women looking for partners. Definitely It’s just that if you’re kind and physically not attractive it won’t matter I agree. Kindness isn't exactly a big attraction factor, but having that on top of major attraction factors would make you even more desirable.
/r/seduction29/11/24 04:15 PM
10

I believed this until recently. I've been confident in the way I look for the past 10 years, before then I was a mess in all sorts of ways. Sure, that made a huge difference and I thought that was it. Earlier this year I started working out, I now look better and as much as I hate to say it I can no longer deny that looks matters. I can agree that confidence goes a long way, making up for a less good look in many cases, but to say looks don't matter much is just plain wrong.
/r/seduction29/11/24 04:05 AM
1

Yeah, might be the style or a difference in how I view kindness.
/r/seduction29/11/24 03:13 AM
11

I disagree on the amount of kindness, has to be a bit higher than that for maintaining a healthy relationship. I'd say 10% is about right for attraction though, the other stuff matters a lot more early on.
/r/seduction29/11/24 03:04 AM
24

The one thing I actually didn't do was hit the gym. I wasn't fat, I wasn't too skinny either. I have always been in a somewhat decent shape, although never muscular enough for anyone to point that out as a feature. So, pretty average, nothing special in a positive or negative direction. I put the majority of my effort into working on my mind and a little bit of effort into things like clothing, hairstyle and posture. Through working on my mind I realized among many other things that how I feel h…
/r/seduction29/11/24 02:10 AM
19

I've experienced this. For years I felt pretty much invisible, then I started improving myself and the amount of compliments I got was insane by comparison. Not just from people I know, but from complete strangers as well.
/r/seduction29/11/24 12:22 AM
2

If she's not interested in you it won't work. If she's interested in you it might work if her self-respect is low enough, but if she has high self-respect she'll be repulsed by it. If she's interested in you she'd make herself more available without you needing to resort to manipulative games. She's not that interested. Making a bunch of excuses and then not responding is a pretty clear sign.
/r/seduction29/11/24 12:08 AM
4

Whether to set a clear date or put the ball in her court is a choice. What matters is being aware of and accepting the potential consequences of each choice and picking the right one for how they feel about the situation. If I'm more interested I'm gonna push to make it happen or at least figure out if she's actually interested so I can stop wasting my time if she isn't. If I'm genuinely indifferent about it, but open to it if she really does want to make it happen, I'll let it be up to her. The…
/r/seduction28/11/24 01:12 PM
72

She's unreliable, you don't like that, move on, simple as that. You just need to determine whether having a good time together one time is enough to compromise your boundaries. Question is how many times she needs to flake before enough is enough for you, where is your boundary? Pretty vital to knowing whether to give her another chance or not. I'd say your boundary is already reached because you feel bad about her actions.
/r/seduction28/11/24 12:32 PM
1

Yup. I think mindfulness is the single most valuable thing I've ever learned.
/r/seduction27/11/24 06:59 AM
4

Yup, it's in there. Question everything, come up with your own answers to it, question the answers, repeat. Eventually you'll get to the bottom of it, you will just know when you do, it will be clear to you that "this is it" through feeling.
/r/seduction26/11/24 07:50 PM
18

I've worked hard and these days I'm fairly attractive physically, disciplined, hardworking, dress well, doing better financially than most etc etc... But I still don't feel any better mentally than when I was ugly, broke and fat. Because everything you've worked on is external. No amount of external things can make up for an internal lack, the void is infinite until addressed directly. You can be the best looking, richest, best dressed and hardest working person around, but still feel like absol…
/r/seduction26/11/24 07:07 PM
2

They're both gonna scoff at you for the sheer disrespect and walk away. If you think anything else is gonna happen you're delusional.
/r/seduction26/11/24 05:07 PM
1

Remember that whatever you have going on between you is more important than what to call it. Last time I "made it official" we were at a point where we practically already acted like we were in a relationship and people we knew kept asking about it. I didn't care much about what to call it, I only knew I enjoyed our time together and that's all that mattered to me. I basically had the talk just because it started becoming a bit annoying when everyone else kept asking about us, but I had to give …
/r/seduction26/11/24 04:41 PM
7

Oh wow, I see entitlement and a lack of self-awareness. I too would drop her for that, very unattractive. She's gonna have a hard time getting a guy worth a damn if she keeps that up. And yeah, no point being angry at someone punishing themselves like that.
/r/seduction26/11/24 04:27 PM
25

She's probably seriously considering you as a boyfriend, she likes what she has seen of you so far, but needs time to see if you're real or not. She's waiting to see if you remain consistent in your behavior as in that you're authentic, being the type of man you've presented as so far. This is to weed out men who put up a front, given time almost all of them slip up sooner rather than later because it's very very hard to consistently pretend to be someone you're not. It's also to weed out guys w…
/r/seduction26/11/24 12:36 PM
2

Careful with that need, you just amplified it. Throughout my entire experience, personally, seeing relationships my friends have gone through and through countless stories online through the years, need has always been involved in poor decision making. Do you know what's worse than living your entire life without creating a family? It's picking the wrong woman because your need went above reason. If you make a bad decision here and get all the way to having a bunch of kids you could either get s…
/r/seduction26/11/24 11:56 AM
3

There's nothing really crazy or extraordinarily interesting about me or my life as it currently is. I don't even try to be interesting, I don't try to be anything, I just am who I am. Yet people show me interest and women in particular, sometimes to the point it drives them nuts. I could ask them why they find me so interesting, but I know most of them can't really answer the question beyond it just being a feeling they have. The reason they find me interesting is very simple, I take an interest…
/r/seduction26/11/24 09:49 AM
3

You're welcome. Letting go of the need doesn't mean you have to avoid it if the opportunity presents itself, it just means you don't force yourself to go get it to the point you feel bad. While you're waiting for the opportunities you should be doing whatever else you think might genuinely make you feel better, in the short term and the long term. You can have the feeling right now, only you is standing in the way of it by clinging to something that is unattainable in this moment. Yes, it is a n…
/r/seduction25/11/24 10:41 PM
3

Its a weird double edged sword because im down and jaded because i cant get women attracted to me, but i cant get women attracted to me because im down and jaded from this breakup. This is a very accurate description. even though I'm doing everything i can, improving at work, doing hobbies i love, socializing a lot more, chasing my dreams, but nothing fills that void of being loved, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. This is also accurate. None of those things will fill that void and anot…
/r/seduction25/11/24 10:23 PM
7

You can't start enjoying it until you stop needing it. If you don't enjoy interacting with women on multiple levels you'll come off as not enjoying her company, basically you'll look like you don't like her or don't like being with her and don't like spending time with her. Obviously they're not going to stick around for that. If you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be funny, playful and pretend like you're having a good time when you're not it's the same thing. You'll look like a pre…
/r/seduction25/11/24 09:46 PM
42

You don't need to, but again, if you remain passive on it you have no control and can only hope he does it. It may very well happen, but you're going to have fewer options than if you take a more active part in facilitating continued contact by asking for it yourself.
/r/seduction25/11/24 08:59 PM
67

That's the problem with being passive and waiting for the other to take action. All you can do is be as approachable as possible and wait until someone does. If you want more to happen and have some control over it you'll have to initiate.
/r/seduction25/11/24 07:54 PM
2

She's not interested in relationship and you're too invested, evident by the fact that you're frustrated. Just pull back and don't be a salty bitch about it. She might turn around later, but never if you burn that bridge out of frustration now. Don't try to make anything happen with her, don't ask her to meet, don't be enthusiastic when she calls you, be indifferent. Match her interest level, which currently ain't much. She might have sensed that you were a bit too into her for the type of inter…
/r/seduction25/11/24 02:14 PM
3

She might actually have a boyfriend and isn't interested in cheating, but still found you attractive.
/r/seduction25/11/24 08:34 AM
1

How you feel about yourself is of course a big part of filtering out poor choices, but there is a skill component to this as well. In order to identify and understand what's bad you'll have to know about it in some way, either through experience or at least knowledge. Pretty hard to avoid what you don't even know about. Plenty of guys who have no issue with valuing themselves make poor decisions in women, because they didn't know about certain red flags and how they're red flags. This is unlike …
/r/seduction24/11/24 06:16 PM
47

The most important thing to know when approaching anyone is to notice when your presence is unwanted and leave them alone. You're not doing it to make people uncomfortable. They might feel uncomfortable, but that's on them, not you. You're not doing anything wrong by innocently starting a conversation. If they don't like it you just leave, there is no further consequence.
/r/seduction24/11/24 03:33 PM
4

Ah yes, the old attraction is based on material wealth argument. Plenty of men who have nothing impressive to show off financially are perfectly capable of attracting women. It's a positive to have enough to at least support yourself, but that's not really what attracts a woman, it's just a necessity for things to function. The harsh reality here is that you still don't understand what most women are actually looking for in a man. There are certainly the type of women out there who are "attracte…
/r/seduction24/11/24 11:33 AM
1

The thing about astrology, of which my mother is a firm believer and deeply involved in (yes, she's batshit crazy), is that it's so incredibly ambiguous that you can always cherry pick to spin whatever perspective you want, positive or negative. There's a reason people read about "themselves" in astrology and go "yeah, sounds like me". Because regardless of what you read there's going to be a lot of elements that basically anyone can relate to, despite two people obviously being very different f…
/r/seduction24/11/24 10:15 AM
1

I'd emphasize how irrational I think it is to scare them away instead. Belief in such things is to me indicative of a serious lack of personal responsibility, I don't want to play with that fire, not even just for a lay. Complete turn off for me.
/r/seduction24/11/24 10:05 AM
1

The turmoil comes from setting clear rules and expectations, when they try to push the boundaries and you don't let them. When it comes to this, consistency is key, because without it there aren't really any rules. Most guys underestimate just how incredibly important boundaries are. Creating turmoil through drama and inconsistency is just a cheap party trick trying to emulate the real thing, make her feel the same way without anything of substance behind it. Works for a little while, but if rel…
/r/seduction23/11/24 11:48 PM
25

Hard to say without getting to know you in person. The problem with asking for advice through describing yourself is that a lot of the time the problems are blindspots, the things you don't see about yourself, but others might see. The hardest part about trying to improve oneself is always seeing what you're not already seeing. To become aware of what you're unaware of. I say this because there's no clear problem in what you describe about yourself, aside from the childhood trauma, but nothing c…
/r/seduction23/11/24 06:17 PM
9

You sure it's not because she literally said she has childhood trauma she's still working through?
/r/seduction23/11/24 06:10 PM
5

Reframe it. If you give up you can talk to people however you like and just not give a fuck about outcome, because you've given up trying to achieve anything doing it, so might as well do it purely to entertain yourself.
/r/seduction23/11/24 10:47 AM
3

In my case? Try hard, burn out, give up.
/r/seduction23/11/24 10:43 AM
9

single people are never being themselves around the person they like. they either "Act" flirty or "act" platonic. theres no mental capacity for charismatic experession because ones subconciouss dedicates all energy into "making a good impression" True, until it isn't. I wouldn't say "never". The way out of it is to get so sick and tired of pretending that you no longer give a fuck what others think. Pretending is very draining, fortunate are those who realize before getting all the way down to t…
/r/seduction23/11/24 09:39 AM
1

If you're self-conscious about mirroring her moves, it will be bad. If you're self-conscious about standing in a particular posture, it will be bad. If you're self-conscious, it will be bad. I don't think which one to go for will be the problem.
/r/seduction22/11/24 08:50 PM
1

If you're getting drained you're not filling your own cup first. Do it for yourself first, only yourself. Not until you FEEL great should it even be a thought to extend that to others. If you're exhausted it means you overextended, you tried to give more than you have and to people who gave nothing in return. If you're miserable and exhausted you don't really have anything good to give. You're probably pushing yourself too hard, as long as you keep trying you'll continue to feel like a zombie go…
/r/seduction21/11/24 09:26 PM
1

Most of them want to also fuck and for the guy to take the lead on that. A guy being nice without being sexual is just a friend. If they're on a date they're looking for more than just a friend. So if this truly is just how you are then you just gotta keep dating until you run into a low libido/borderline asexual woman who matches that energy. Just beware that if it turns into a relationship and you want to ramp up sexual activity down the line then you're essentially fucked (not in the good way…
/r/seduction21/11/24 06:21 PM
18

Throw aside the idea that there are leagues. Someone being out of your league is not them actually being above you, it's you putting yourself below them, basically rejecting yourself before they even have a chance to. She's either worthy of you or she isn't. Worry way more about whether you actually like her than whether she likes you or not. You're probably not going to do this even if you try, but I'm saying it anyways. If it doesn't go the way you hoped then try to learn from it while the mem…
/r/seduction21/11/24 05:42 PM
19

If you get complacent when single, your life gradually turns bad, until you get a hold of yourself because you don't even have the option of leaving. If you get complacent in a relationship/marriage, both your lives gradually turns bad, until you either get a hold of yourself or she leaves to find someone who hasn't forgotten how to live. If you get complacent in a relationship/marriage with kids, life turns bad for everyone, until you get a hold of yourself or she leaves taking the kids with he…
/r/seduction21/11/24 01:30 PM
124

Absolutely spot on correct! I'm really grateful for all the women who rejected me and dumped me after a short time before I learned this lesson. I was lucky enough to not waste years in a relationship to understand this. When this realization hit me with full force 9 years ago I became the happiest I'd ever been, while still being single. Just 3 weeks after making this realization and fully embracing it I met a woman. For the first time I was more afraid of losing myself to her than I was losing…
/r/seduction21/11/24 10:03 AM
1

Initially, yes. The reason mysterious works so well however is the fact that she has to work to figure you out, learning a little bit more about you over time is the reward. If you stay perpetually mysterious there's no reward and she'll lose interest because she isn't getting anything out of you. Revealing everything about yourself right away is bad because you're essentially freely giving her the reward without her working for it. Anything free by definition has no value, again leading to loss…
/r/seduction21/11/24 08:45 AM
27

It's much easier to determine that a guy has himself figured out if he consistently is the same guy. Being very dynamic as you call it might make you come off as a people pleaser or social chameleon, your identity changes depending on who you're with, so who even are you? It's not desirable as it might seem you don't have the confidence to just be someone. Simply put you're likely adapting yourself too much to the girl you're with and it probably doesn't come off as authentic as these guys who s…
/r/seduction21/11/24 07:45 AM
44

The question is what you ultimately want and why you're really doing what you're doing now? What you're doing is a common form of escapism. Might look into whether you're running from something uncomfortable in your life. I don't navigate it because I stopped to face the shit that was pulling my strings so I could get control over myself.
/r/seduction18/11/24 11:17 AM
1

If you were me, what would you do if this girl texted 2 weeks later as if nothing happened and wants a date? I don't know, depends how I feel about it 2 weeks later. How I feel drives my actions. If I have a negative feeling about it I'll just decline. If I feel like I'm still open to giving it a chance I'll try to set up a date. What I will not do is put a lot of meaning and emotions into it, particularly given past experience. If a date is set up I'll be prepared for nothing to come of it and …
/r/seduction17/11/24 09:38 AM
1

Whether she's actually busy or using it as an excuse is ultimately irrelevant, either way she's too unavailable for you. Do you know what many women do in this situation that you should do too? Disengage because of low interest. If you want to keep it open for the future DO NOT send a negative message describing how you consider it bad behavior and how hurt you feel. You've only had a first date, you're not in a relationship where this type of communication may work. Besides, it's a bad way to f…
/r/seduction17/11/24 08:54 AM
1

I'm not even going to be interested if the very first thing they're trying to do is to get something out of me. So I'd do pretty much what you did, just tell her no.
/r/seduction16/11/24 04:18 PM
24

What makes the difference here would be intent. If you intend from the start for it to go that way then I'd consider it bad because it's dishonest, leading her on, risking hurting her on purpose. If you feel one way at first and then just feel differently about it after then it's fair enough, we don't always know where we want something to lead with someone without learning more about them. Feelings often just are what they are, you can't really force being interested in someone when you just ar…
/r/seduction13/11/24 04:16 AM
2

That there is the problem, fear is always the problem. You don't know shit about how you come across until you start making moves. Your anxiety is telling you lies, walking up to anyone just to talk is perfectly socially acceptable behavior, it's how you handle negative feedback that will determine whether you're a creep or not. If you really are attractive looking and you drop your fears to start acting like it too then most of the time your approaches will be welcomed. If she doesn't seem to l…
/r/seduction12/11/24 06:42 PM
17

You might have missed something you did that might have turned her off or this might have nothing to do with you at all. Whatever the case may be, if she's not making it easy for you to see her again then she's not interested, that much is certain.
/r/seduction12/11/24 06:04 AM
2

What worked for me was just basic meditation. Set a timer for 10-20-30 mins so you don't have to worry about time, turn off all distractions, close your eyes and see what comes up inside you. In my case some sessions were unfruitful while other sessions brought about some huge realizations about myself. You can't really control it and that's ok. If you have a will to face your issues it will come to the surface eventually and when it does you will just know that's it, you'll feel it. What's impo…
/r/seduction11/11/24 05:19 AM
2

Your confidence is already there, this is a matter of what's blocking it. It's not that alcohol gives you confidence, it doesn't, alcohol just temporarily makes you forget whatever it is that's choking your confidence. You do not need to gain confidence, you need to resolve your insecurities. You should not look for confidence, you should look for what's holding you back from it. Ask yourself what it is you fear and dig into it to understand it and let it go. You're probably going to experience …
/r/seduction11/11/24 04:12 AM
29

Apps can be a supplement, but real life should be the main way to meet women. Apps only have a limited selection of women and there are some types of women who are very rare or you'll never see on any app. This is not the case with reality, besides, reality allows for showing off a lot more of yourself right off the bat than just a few photos and a short bio. Women can get a feel for you a lot easier than a dating profile ever could accomplish, which might catch their interest in ways you would …
/r/seduction10/11/24 03:26 PM
1

You gave her attention, she liked the attention. Doesn't mean anything beyond that. I do the exact same thing, but I'm happily married and there's no chance I'll be crossing any lines. I still appreciate the positive attention though and will smile back to express it.
/r/seduction10/11/24 01:16 PM
-4

I'd start looking around on myself for a literal red flag pretending to be confused about where it is.
/r/seduction09/11/24 06:18 PM
2

Been there, done that, let it go and never regretted it. If you reach the point where trying to seduce drains you then you're really off the path. You can't seduce anyone when you feel drained because you're the most seductive when you feel great. I learned this as I hit a wall 9 years ago. I was just exhausted after spending 2 years of maximum effort trying to figure it out. I was getting laid fine enough, had a very short relationship and didn't do so bad if looking at just the numbers. Howeve…
/r/seduction08/11/24 10:56 PM
2

you notice a girl for the first time and she is just your type. Let me stop you right there. How do you know she's your type before even talking to her? I can only know she looks good and perhaps a tiny bit about how she interact with others before talking to her, certainly not enough to know whether she's actually my type or not. Prior to talking to her she can never be more than a little bit interesting at best. My approach, if I'm slightly interested initially, is to go talk to her to determi…
/r/seduction08/11/24 10:34 PM
4

You can talk about damn near anything if your vibe is good enough. I just focus more on feeling good than about what to talk about, which most of the time is just whatever random thing crosses my mind at the moment. Staying in the moment is pretty much the opposite of being stuck in your mind thinking about what to say.
/r/seduction08/11/24 04:16 AM
16

Talking about the stuff you genuinely care about is fine, it's not so much the content you're talking about that's the issue, it's the vibe when you're talking about it. The problem when talking about stuff you really care about is fear of judgement, so it comes off kinda insecure because you'll start behaving in approval seeking ways, hoping she approves of your interests and destroying your confidence if she doesn't. Vulnerability is to expose something about yourself or that matters to you an…
/r/seduction07/11/24 11:41 PM
3

I used to dislike this feeling, until I embraced all feelings as part of the human experience. It's a feeling, we all experience this feeling and it's pretty common to experience it in this context. After I started embracing this feeling it has taken on a different interpretation. It's still the same physical feeling in the body, but mentally it's very different. It's not nervousness or any sort of insecurity anymore, it's more excitement and anticipation about what could be. The common theme in…
/r/seduction06/11/24 01:08 AM
7

Alright, I'll do some interpretation here. So I let her talk a lot but some girls told me that I don't talk about myself too much. But like how?? All she does is yap and never ask questions to me.. You have to relate to form a connection, there is no relation going on if she's the only one sharing. The solution here is to insert some of your own experiences that relates to what she's talking about when something you can relate to comes up. The point of actively listening here is to relate, to pi…
/r/seduction06/11/24 12:09 AM
2

When I was a beginner I lowered the bar. You're not going to get all the way at first anyways, particularly if you're forcing yourself into action. Your starting out goal is to walk up to a woman and say anything at all to her, if you do that you have already won. When I started out I had this weird idea based on my observations of myself. Whenever I got the impulse of wanting to approach a woman I would of course freeze and somehow in an instant automatically make up every excuse under the sun …
/r/seduction05/11/24 11:22 PM
1

I'm 33. I'm hearing a lot of what you want from others, but what do you have to offer?
/r/seduction05/11/24 01:08 PM
2

I stopped thinking of things in terms of approach, I stopped putting any pressure on myself. I stopped worrying, I stopped thinking and started just being. Sometimes I get an impulse, I just go with it. I operate on open curiosity without any thinking about outcome, whatever happens one way or another I want to see where it goes rather than trying to make it go one way in particular. If anyone seems just slightly interested in talking to me and I feel slightly interested in talking to them I jus…
/r/seduction05/11/24 12:29 PM
5

In my case I realized I was chasing women to feel good, then I realized I can achieve that without them, then I got women because I felt so good and when I didn't get any I felt good anyways because my satisfaction in life was no longer coupled to it. Giving up and finding happiness independently of women might be what you need. Giving up doesn't mean you have to avoid them.
/r/seduction05/11/24 12:04 PM
3

Yeah, I didn't go as far as you have and didn't get to that high of a body count before I let go of it, because I realized it's not really giving me what I wanted.
/r/seduction05/11/24 09:34 AM
9

If you no longer enjoy doing something then just stop pushing to do it and go figure out what you do enjoy doing.
/r/seduction05/11/24 09:29 AM
6

Been there, done that. I ended up decoupling my confidence from external circumstances because I didn't want my sense of self to be attached to anything that isn't fully within my own control. I was tired of having my feelings thrown around by things beyond my control. I also figured out that I can make myself feel good without the need for someone else to do it for me and I spent quite a bit of effort figuring out how to do that. I raised my baseline. The only thing that could make me feel wors…
/r/seduction05/11/24 06:38 AM
9

To me it's simply about having a good time and giving her a good time. It's about feeling, how to feel good myself and how to make her feel good. This is how she might feel good about me and this is a big part of attraction. How to practically do that quickly grows into a rather complex subject however.
/r/seduction04/11/24 12:27 PM
1

Think about it and not do it a bunch more times until the thought of the inevitable regret is more unbearable than whatever would happen if you just did it.
/r/seduction03/11/24 02:49 PM
4

It's going to happen no matter what level you're at. The only solution is to stop viewing it as rejection in the sense that you're bad or something, stop taking it personally. Just because some women aren't into you it doesn't mean they all aren't. What matters is exploring the possibilities. Focus on the process, not the outcome. Be proud of yourself for trying, not for what you get for it.
/r/seduction03/11/24 09:03 AM
1

That's stupid, don't be stupid.
/r/seduction03/11/24 08:07 AM
1

Most people are pussies, just like you. I mean this in the best possible way. They are extremely unlikely to intervene when it actually comes down to it. In the same way it's unlikely you'll actually take any action to improve yourself. Think about that for a while.
/r/seduction02/11/24 11:39 PM
1

Nobody who cheats is a 10/10, regardless of why.
/r/seduction02/11/24 05:35 PM
2

Why do you believe you would have been able to make this shift without the awkward/unsuccessful approaches you did beforehand? How do you know it was not an integral part of the learning process? Ok, it did play a part, but I didn't have to do a lot of it. I didn't do it to desensitize myself or to practice, I did it basically to trigger my anxiety so I could bring it into awareness and process it. Get to the bottom of why I felt that way to begin with. The process to me was more about unlearnin…
/r/seduction02/11/24 09:40 AM
2

I guess I took your comment too seriously, it was so short and hard to read how you meant it. Putting "lol" at the end can be still be interpreted in multiple ways, I didn't pick the best case scenario, but I'm happy that's how you meant it. I appreciate your clarification.
/r/seduction01/11/24 10:32 PM
4

If you're the type of guy to make a woman feel good you don't need to have a lot of money. Money is just a path to feeling good, if the goal of feeling good is already reached then why does she need the money? Not sure what you mean by genes, do you refer to looks? Again, if you can make her feel good through other means then she won't give a fuck about your looks. Feeling good is worth more than almost anything to people, feeling good is the entire fucking reason people are motivated to do what…
/r/seduction01/11/24 09:59 PM
1

My framework is based on "fuck the framework". It's not magic. My experience is pretty different from yours, but it's applied in the field and with great success too. My change happened rather quickly when I let it all go and kinda just went crazy, handling anything in the moment with zero planning ahead. I went from getting rejected to somehow pulling them back to my place to fuck the same day. It's now several years later and I'm deep into this path, my pull on women is absolutely insane. They…
/r/seduction01/11/24 08:58 PM
1

"I can't let go until I've done lots of approaches". That's literally adding yet another obstacle, put there by oneself, leading a guy further from the goal rather than closer. Getting to the point of turning off the filter, dropping the facade, requires clearing away the obstacles, not adding more of them. Anyone can get there right now, the question is which conditions they're imposing upon themselves to allow themselves to get to that point. Drop the conditions and you'll already be there.
/r/seduction01/11/24 06:15 PM
1

Because they're not good approaches. Being complimented on looks for the billionth time isn't gonna do much for them and everyone knows you don't really care about the answers to generic questions. Literally anything other than being like 99% of other guys out there is better. Often whatever you think has the least chance of doing anything has the most chance of doing something, just because it's different which makes it far more interesting. Trying to think of something is the problem, the tryi…
/r/seduction01/11/24 04:12 PM
3

If you're curious enough there's a billion ways to start a conversation. Anything can be used, no matter how small. When you have "nothing" to go on, you actually do, it's just that you've rejected every idea your mind came up with because you don't believe it's "good enough". Lower the bar.
/r/seduction01/11/24 02:24 PM
1

The problem with A is that trying to get a woman is the wrong mindset altogether and stifles what would have the most potential for attracting her, being authentic. By trying to get you'll already become inauthentic, because the actions are no longer an expression of who you are but an expression of need. The problem with B is if you're not really happy with the level you're at, you won't really be happy with the options available. The solution is to improve oneself until reaching the level wher…
/r/seduction01/11/24 12:56 PM
44

This is not only a better path to me, it's the only path. Society isn't living my life, I am living my life. The pressure to focus on relationships is poison, a relationship isn't fun and enjoyable if you need it to be successful to satisfy the pressure put on you. You don't even need a purpose at all times, because you will be dependent on having a purpose to feel good about yourself if you make that a condition to feel good. So when I have achieved something I set out to do and don't yet know …
/r/seduction01/11/24 07:54 AM
3

The best thing I ever did in my entire life was to let go of trying to get women and focus purely on having a good time in life, whether alone or with others. I wish I knew this earlier instead of being at my wits end before reaching that point. I had been trying so hard to figure it out and all I ended up with was feeling totally miserable after yet another failure, so I gave up, all I ever wanted was to feel good and this pursuit of women only made me feel worse and worse. It did not take long…
/r/seduction31/10/24 11:37 PM
2

It's a really bad idea, especially if you throw sexual/romantic emotions into the mix. I recommend staying away, particularly if you have any sexual or romantic intentions whatsoever.
/r/seduction31/10/24 12:06 AM
11

So, you left her on read and went silent for a couple of days and now you're freaking out because she's doing the same for a couple hours at this point? You sure she's not just matching your texting pattern? Your last message isn't one that needs a response, you confirmed Friday is fine, what is she supposed to say? It's all good, Friday it is, right? Do not double text now, assume it's all good for Friday and only text her when it's getting close to sort out the necessary details if she doesn't…
/r/seduction30/10/24 09:11 PM
3

Yes, IF they have an unhealthy attachment style. These types of relationships never last though and if they do last a while it's typically toxic and unhealthy. Love is definitely the wrong word here because this type of attachment is based in fear, like fear of abandonment as an example. There is no love in it, just the mistaken idea that it's love when it's really just a fear of loss, the complete opposite. In short, you do not really want to go down this path because it will fuck you up as wel…
/r/seduction30/10/24 03:41 PM
1

Yeah, probably a bad idea, OP doesn't know how to take it from there.
/r/seduction29/10/24 06:56 PM
1

Ask yourself why you think it's cringey to talk about. Feelings are feelings, your feelings matter to you do they not? They are what they are, are they not? Her feelings matters to her, do they not? If you cringe talking about it you're really just sending the message that these feelings are not ok. You wouldn't tell a child their feelings are invalid? So you shouldn't tell yourself or anyone else that some feeling is invalid, it's very real to the person experiencing them. Maybe someone else cr…
/r/seduction29/10/24 01:29 PM
0

"I'm sorry I came on too strong, I was just very excited to be with you. Take care." Radio silence forever or until she signals she's interested in giving it another go. If you do get another shot then slow the pace a bit and stay real. If this level of maturity, awareness and honesty doesn't turn it around then nothing will.
/r/seduction29/10/24 12:01 PM
4

Yes, yes and yes.
/r/seduction29/10/24 11:18 AM
26

Build an emotional connection with yourself. If you can't feel, she won't be able to feel you and you won't really be able to feel her. It's a lot easier to understand others feelings if you have a really good understanding of your own feelings. The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.
/r/seduction29/10/24 09:31 AM
67

You're being used and she's making irresponsible choices. So not only is she not interested in you like that, you would be wise not to pick a woman who shows such poor judgement. If you were to get your way it would eventually end and how long it would take for it to end would determine how ugly it's gonna be. Stop being her babysitter, stop being her emotional tampon and start realizing you're dodging a bullet. It might be a bit sad about the kid, that's understandable, but the kid is not your …
/r/seduction29/10/24 08:55 AM
1

Attraction is one of those things that aren't entirely about what you do, but isn't entirely something that arises out of nothing. It's somewhere in between. There are no absolutes, there's only probability. Certain behaviors have a higher likelihood of being attractive or unattractive. You can definitely increase your odds, but you can never guarantee it.
/r/seduction27/10/24 04:26 PM
6

You can approach in all of these "forbidden" places. The reasons it's advised against is because it's more difficult and the consequences may be worse if it doesn't work out. There's ways to work around this, it's not unsolvable problems, but it's a bad idea for the inexperienced. A girl you met at a party is much easier to walk away from if things go sideways. If they're at your gym, your college or your workplace there's no easy escape and it may bring about other social complications. Persona…
/r/seduction26/10/24 07:43 PM
2

It's quite ironic that you're doing exactly what I talked about, defining what you mean by alpha, because the term is so broad and unclear. I don't view Mystery as an authority figure, honestly I think he's a bit of a clown.
/r/seduction26/10/24 09:04 AM
2

This happens because of a lack of knowledge Oh, I see, your idea of alpha is the correct one. You seem to be missing my point entirely. Who's the authority that defines what alpha means and why should I consider them an authority above everyone else who claims the same? There's fucking millions of guys just like you out there who claims to know what it means just as strongly as you do, but they have a slightly different idea of what it means. Why should I believe you over them? Why should I take…
/r/seduction26/10/24 08:43 AM
3

I would argue that "alpha male" is a very high level abstraction, making it more unclear what it is because there's a lack of consensus about what specifically it means and it has come to mean too many things. Out of all the abstract concepts about men, alpha, beta and the like is perhaps the most abstract concepts of all. To the point it's not really useful at all and very far from actionable. Every time it's brought up it always requires extensive defining because everyone has a different idea…
/r/seduction26/10/24 08:09 AM
1

Want to know how I solved this problem? Fuck the excuses and do it anyways. You'll make her feel uncomfortable? Go up there anyways, if she looks uncomfortable then you can always just say "sorry for bothering you, have a good day/night". You don't know what to say? Even easier, lock yourself into the situation where you HAVE to say something because not saying something would be far more uncomfortable. I've walked up to women many times without knowing what to say other than "hi". In the beginn…
/r/seduction26/10/24 12:25 AM
3

I can’t really think of anything I’ve got going in my favor to not just say “fuck it” Say "fuck it" then, let go of trying and finally actually be yourself. You don't need women, do whatever the fuck you feel like in their presence, do whatever the fuck makes YOU feel good. You might find that the irony of life hits hard, maybe they suddenly become intrigued by this, but either way YOU are going to have a blast with all that weight off your shoulders. Even go in trying to turn them away if that …
/r/seduction25/10/24 10:34 PM
1

Being too quick and easy to trust is a weakness, they do not trust that quickly and you trusting them more brings imbalance to the interaction. They're doing you a favor by not staying, they'll keep leaving until you learn this or you run into a narcissistic woman who decides to abuse it. That's another point here, if you're quick to get attached and commit you're really putting yourself at risk of becoming victim to the mind games of crazy women. Also, if you're that naive, how can she be sure …
/r/seduction25/10/24 06:04 AM
1

It's a bad concept to begin with, it relies on something external for confidence when confidence should come from within, independent of external factors. You only need to get yourself to a place where you feel you're genuinely deserving of women's attention. It's the same as actually having women's attention, but you do not need it to get it or get more of it. Way back when I got started on the whole figuring out women I thought it would solve itself once I got the attention, especially if I go…
/r/seduction24/10/24 07:01 PM
0

Thank you! Since you're into practicing eye contact here's what I make of it, maybe you know it already, if not I hope you find it useful. It's natural when talking to let your eyes wander a bit, they're part of the expression. Looking away for a few seconds in thought while still speaking and then back into their eyes can be used to emphasize parts of what you're saying, particularly if your eye contact is strongest at the emotional high points of what you're telling her. For a shy guy that's e…
/r/seduction24/10/24 12:19 PM
14

You're really close dude, but you're not quite there yet. You're not quite at the point where you can get "the one". You see, the only way to get it is to let go of it. Not as in you letting this one in particular go, but letting go of the idea of ever finding the one. I'm talking about reaching the point where you fully accept that you might never get it in your entire life and that you may very well remain single until the end of your days, but still be happy about it. I found my one shortly a…
/r/seduction23/10/24 09:46 PM
0

You laugh, but I just find it tragic. They can get all these things, but I know for a damn fact that it will not solve their bottomless need for approval. The root of the problem is internal and no amount of surgery can fix that. They'll feel better right away, but it's temporary and they will just find another external thing to blame for their misery in life. I can't laugh at it, I know this suffering and I know the way out of it is anything but easy. Simple, but not easy.
/r/seduction23/10/24 12:18 PM
7

I am actually 6'2 and good looking, but several years ago my confidence used to be all the way down at rock bottom. I didn't even realize what a good baseline I had, I thought I was ugly or at least below average. What this guy says is true, I have experienced it first hand. I mainly worked on my confidence, but also paying some mind to how I carry myself. I looked shorter than 6'2 because of bad posture, I remember when I made myself aware of it and started getting into the habit of straighteni…
/r/seduction23/10/24 11:05 AM
3

opportunities like those comes so rare. Opportunities like those are created, not randomly granted to you way past your control.
/r/seduction22/10/24 06:01 PM
2

Stop giving a fuck, stop trying to impress anyone, stop trying to be cool, stop thinking about what they might be thinking, stop thinking of what might happen. Say what you think is funny. Say what you think is flirty. Tease her about whatever you want to tease her about. No filter, let it flow. If you think something is great, guess what, you're going to light up when you speak about it and when you do they'll probably light up about it too. Even if it's listing up facts about the lifecycle of …
/r/seduction22/10/24 05:32 PM
1

If you can separate out what's externally coming in through your senses you can be objective enough. What you see is what you see, like what your eyes are recording, purely visually. What you hear is what you hear, the audio itself recorded to memory. And so on. Those things don't change, you saw what you saw and heard what you heard. Now, what you think of it is entirely subjective. Whether you like it or not, what you think it means and whatever context you create out of it. The reason this se…
/r/seduction21/10/24 10:26 PM
10

There is no doubt the guy could pull chicks and he knew what he was talking about. I don't know in what way he's a fraud, but he knows his shit at least.
/r/seduction21/10/24 05:28 PM
0

If they clearly don't know the girl and the girl is receptive to me I will just tell them to go away and proceed to ignore them. I will not engage with whatever they're saying. I might ask the girl if she wants to move somewhere else or just take her somewhere else depending on which one is appropriate if he stays to bother you. Just need to cockblock the fuck out of these guys by gracefully dominating the situation. If you manage to establish enough rapport before one of these chumps swoop in y…
/r/seduction21/10/24 04:46 PM
2

Ah, yes. I would start by separating the objective and the subjective, what I physically observed and what I thought and felt about it. The objective does not change, what I saw is what I saw. The work is done on what I think and feel about it. Memories are from your eyes, your perspective. One tool I used A LOT was to put aside the subjective part of the memory, take a step outside of myself and view the situation as if it wasn't myself in the situation. I'd try to view the situation from the o…
/r/seduction21/10/24 07:46 AM
6

Not at all too personal, I hide no part about my past anymore. I had been reading anything from psychology, philosophy, self improvement material and watching videos related to the same things. Seeking my solutions out there in the world. At some point I got a strong sense that all of my answers would already be inside of me. So I developed a meditation habit. Once every day I would sit down in the quiet of my home, set a timer for 30 minutes, close my eyes and just see whatever came up in my mi…
/r/seduction20/10/24 11:34 PM
12

This type of problem isn't solvable simply through going out there and practicing, I know because I have been that guy. That's anxiety, a boatload of it. To the point his mind blanks and he's internally panicking. Granted, I did start by doing the same thing, going out there and trying. I did so alone though, I had nobody to look at for guidance like this guy had in you. Nobody to push me out into it. So when I did eventually push myself into it with nobody to turn to for help, I only had 2 opti…
/r/seduction20/10/24 09:29 PM
2

I look at it more like being open to it or not right away, not necessarily attracted because that usually requires knowing the person at least a little bit. If someone has something I visually don't like or have something like bad hygiene or anything immediately turning me off I'm not going to be open to it, right off the bat. Could also have nothing to do with the other person, like I'm not in the mood for it and choose to close myself off. If someone doesn't turn me off right away and I myself…
/r/seduction20/10/24 04:44 PM
8

What he's getting at isn't that they're not getting approached, but they very rarely or have never been approached by a man who really knows what he's doing. I personally know several attractive women and obviously they have a lot of options, their problem is that their options are 99% guys who are just thirsty for her because she looks really good. What they want is a guy who can look past her beauty and appreciate what's behind it to truly connect with her, most guys get stuck on her good look…
/r/seduction20/10/24 08:44 AM
2

I've had my best nights out and my best success with women by just not giving a fuck about trying and instead focus on doing whatever in the moment I feel would give me good time. Every damn time I've tried there has been disappointment at the end of it. Every damn time I didn't give a fuck has had me in an afterglow for days, even if I happened to end up doing nothing regarding women. More often than not there has been some action involving women when I've picked the latter option. You challeng…
/r/seduction19/10/24 10:25 PM
1

Yeah, if they're not broken and emotionally closed off. There's a difference between that and intentionally putting up a wall just to test a man.
/r/seduction19/10/24 05:08 PM
2

Amen! No text, no matter how good can even come close to a fraction of what can be done in each other's presence. Spending all the good stuff on text will just make the date run out of steam, assuming the date isn't fumbled by all the silly texting.
/r/seduction19/10/24 02:13 PM
3

I think you'll get there, but there's work to be done. I found meditation to be really helpful in unpacking my mind and digging into how I became conditioned to end up like I did. That's what you should look at, your barriers and why they exist in the first place. The state of mind that is free to express is your true self, there's something standing in the way and you need to figure out what it is within you to break it down. Good luck.
/r/seduction18/10/24 10:20 PM
2

Go to a bar, take in everything around you, open up and be receptive. At worst you chilled at a bar, perhaps with a nice drink and people watched which can be a nice way to wind down by itself. Perhaps an opportunity for someone to engage with presents itself, perhaps someone engages with you. It can happen. Fuck thinking someone might think of you as a weird loner, if anyone does just let them, but the truth is that most people there don't give enough of a shit about you to think anything of yo…
/r/seduction18/10/24 04:39 PM
1

I did both. The theory doesn't even really make sense without experience and the experience might be harder to make sense of without the theory. Do both and everything will fall into place faster.
/r/seduction18/10/24 12:13 PM
2

Maybe, I'm just speaking from my subjective experience of it and letting it all go is what I did. Perhaps it was the final step to fully internalize it or perhaps there's more to it, or perhaps it's both. I do distinctly remember going to that party thinking I'm not going to spend any effort whatsoever trying to get a girl, I was just DONE. I only wanted to have a good time for once and not care one bit what anyone thinks of me. I was just taking in and feeling the moment, letting myself be drag…
/r/seduction18/10/24 08:15 AM
2

Did you guys start a family? We did. Been together 9 years now, married for 5 years, we have a son who is 4 and a daughter who is 2. Relationship is still going really strong, lots of respect, love and sex. We don't even fight, but in the good way, we just communicate well enough for it to never go that far. I was definitely flowing when I met her. From my perspective it was effortless, I was just having fun. I would never say it's all luck. It's luck that I met her in particular, but I had work…
/r/seduction18/10/24 05:33 AM
6

Inner unwavering peace, focused attention and being attuned to my own emotions.
/r/seduction17/10/24 06:31 PM
1

Sounds exhausting. If it's exhausting then what's the point? You should cut down to a number you can manage and actually enjoy without spending too much effort keeping things straight. It's not a competition to have the most women simultaneously. I'm assuming since you managed to get 8 into your rotation at the same time you're pretty attractive and can easily get more. So if you keep 3 and one drops off it shouldn't be hard to find another to replace her if you want to continue to have 3 in you…
/r/seduction17/10/24 08:25 AM
1

The feeling of such connection makes me feel like getting closer, to be even more connected. Ultimately being inside, as close as I can get, connected in both mind and body. I cannot see how sex would cheapen the experience, quite the opposite in fact. So the fact that you get ghosted might have to do with only going halfway in connecting, you connecting only through mind but they wanting the full connection. What comes to mind is that you either have some unresolved issues surrounding sex or yo…
/r/seduction16/10/24 02:13 PM
1

This is not true and there's scientific studies to confirm it. Reason being that growing muscle mass requires not only protein, but also energy. If your energy intake is in the negative your body will not prioritize as much energy to muscle growth. It can still happen, but not as fast as it could have with a higher energy intake.
/r/seduction15/10/24 04:00 PM
0

I wouldn't have pushed asking about what's going on between them, it's none of your business. What I'd change here is that when she said it had only been one date I would have said "I hope that works out for you, if not I'll be around here", smiled and left it at that. I'd proceed to not give her any more attention and just get on with your business when you're at the gym. Shows interest, shows you're not dependent on that outcome, shows that you're not the jealous type. Shows all around good qu…
/r/seduction15/10/24 03:05 PM
3

Thanks, that's great to hear. This is the impact I want to make.
/r/seduction15/10/24 02:26 PM
1

Yeah, I am aware. It does equal less gains when in a deficit though. I was progressing, but not as quickly as when I started eating more again.
/r/seduction15/10/24 07:48 AM
6

Yeah, if I ever get out on the market again and I doubt I ever will, then I will for sure lead with "I just want to have a good time". It's the damn truth for me at least. I entered into a relationship basically because the surrounding social pressure was starting to become annoying with everyone asking about it all the time. So I had the talk, saying we might as well just call it that to get people to shut up about it, emphasizing the fact that I care about the good thing we have got going on a…
/r/seduction14/10/24 11:57 PM
26

Here was my end game or rather eternal game... I went from not really being able to hold onto anyone because of my fumbling to suddenly just nailing it in a very short time, but there was a rather big shift in me that occurred for this to happen. You see, I was trying to do it right, to not mess up anything, but the truth about me was inevitably revealed. I was not a whole man, I was missing the last piece. So here's the story of my shift in perspective. By chance I ran into a girl that I made o…
/r/seduction14/10/24 11:04 PM
1

I did something like that and it felt better because some girls will lead to regret if you do go for them... Yeah, I fucked a couple of regrets.
/r/seduction14/10/24 08:04 PM
5

What you're looking for and want is what matters here. She's just telling you where she stands, you should tell her where you stand in relation to that. If you don't like it because you're looking for a relationship then you tell her that and move on. If you're genuinely not looking for a relationship and the casual thing you've got going is fine, then tell her you're not looking for it either and you're fine with it being the way it is. If you know you'll eventually want a relationship, but don…
/r/seduction14/10/24 03:36 PM
3

Not in a short form that's likely to sink in. It's still a complex topic with many aspects to it if you're unfamiliar with it. One of the many books on it do a better job of covering the basics than I can do in a Reddit comment.
/r/seduction14/10/24 10:12 AM
33

So, I started reading about seduction back in 2013, looking at material older than that, the new material of the time and seeing a bit of the newer stuff through the years. What fundamentally works doesn't change, it's all just the same message in a different wrapping.
/r/seduction14/10/24 07:27 AM
12

No, you're signalling interest, the first few things you say tells her how much interest ranging from a bit curious to find out who she is to being willing to bend over backwards right away if she asked for it. The mild curiosity is fine.
/r/seduction13/10/24 10:22 PM
43

Well, to get a woman interested you have to make her work to get to know you and to get you. To get a 9-10 interested you have to make her work harder to get to know you and to get you, she will have to prove her worth to you in some way beyond just looking good. You kinda have to completely ignore that she looks extremely attractive and judge her on her personality and behavior like any other woman. Like, sure she's hot, but is she a good/fun/pleasant/exciting person to be with? Does she treat …
/r/seduction13/10/24 08:50 PM
6

Well, first of all a confident person wouldn't really worry about being perceived as a performer. A confident person are who they are, understand that people may have different perceptions about what that is and don't modify their behavior just because some people might perceive them as a performer. Particularly when the confident person knows and is confident that they're not merely performing, as in playing a role rather than acting according to internal beliefs and values. So a confident pers…
/r/seduction13/10/24 06:35 PM
52

I don't like the frame of trying to get the girl, at all. Which is part of what you're getting at here. I come from a frame of value, one where I have something to offer and I want to make sure she deserves to have it before I'll be willing to give it. This does not imply a role reversal, one where she necessarily have to come from the frame of trying to get me. She should come at it from the same frame as me and this is the frame you'll see in higher value women, she has something to offer me a…
/r/seduction13/10/24 02:24 PM
4

That's a great opportunity to show your interest and escalate. Don't shuffle your ass over there then, ask her why she's sitting all the way over there and say "I want you over here" while smiling invitingly. This would be EXACTLY what she's looking for by sitting herself down so far away, she wants you to express your desire for her, it's EXACTLY what she said was missing the first time around. She'll come over and you proceed with the advice above. She wants to get closer to you, but she wants…
/r/seduction13/10/24 08:13 AM
0

You probably have changed from reading it and just haven't noticed. A change in the mind will in some way reflect a change in behavior.
/r/seduction13/10/24 03:19 AM
1

Apparently I wasn't much at 91kg, average looking I'd say. Now, 6 months later in the gym and dieting down to 82kg I'm apparently really attractive. I'm getting attention from very attractive women all of a sudden. So 20lbs less fat made a huge difference in my case. I'm probably less muscular than you since I've only worked out 6 months and a decent portion of that in a calorie deficit. I think it's more about just being lean than it's about packing the biggest muscles, like beyond a certain am…
/r/seduction12/10/24 05:22 AM
16

Might be the eyes, they slightly squint a bit when tired or very relaxed and it looks more confident than eyes being wide open.
/r/seduction11/10/24 05:58 AM
1

So, when you've spent every meaningful topic for discussion over something as cold and boring as text, what are you going to talk about when you meet in person? I cannot understand why people want to have lengthy conversation over such an emotionally amputated communication medium as text. Having the same in person would have at least 10 times the potential to make a meaningful impact. Ask her out and stop fucking around with texts.
/r/seduction10/10/24 08:22 PM
36

Nice guys are all comfort, but no attraction. They're too giving, to the point of being unable to stand up for themselves (or their woman for that matter). Bad guys are all attraction, but no comfort. They're too selfish, but at least they have a spine, which makes them far more masculine than the nice guy. Find the balance and you become a highly desirable man. To be kind, without letting anyone take advantage. Enforcing balance, not giving more than is given back, making sure to give back what…
/r/seduction10/10/24 04:43 PM
3

Paying for the meal is an opportunity for both to test each other, but it must happen over at least 2 dates. The frame here is that she has to win you over just as much as you have to win her over. My policy is to pay first date without batting an eye, I will do this regardless. However, if she offers to pay she will be scoring bonus points with me, but I will still insist on paying. This is a way for me to test her, to see if she offers to pay at all. If she's trying to refuse letting me pay I …
/r/seduction10/10/24 01:34 AM
1

If they go out of their way to make sure they give back in some way that's a very good sign, both of interest and of their morality. I might be forgiving if I clearly recognize a seemingly bad act as part of the woman shit testing me (to determine whether I have a spine or not), but when in doubt I will default to not taking my chance on her. I will of course call it out, playfully and she better be making up for it to even it out at that point, I won't ask twice. Men should absolutely be qualif…
/r/seduction10/10/24 01:11 AM
3

I could not have explained this better myself. Absolutely spot on.
/r/seduction09/10/24 10:04 PM
1

I have a way to frame it that to me completely removes the negative impact of being rejected. I just want to have a good time. When I'm talking to a woman I also want her to have a good time with me. I do not want to ruin a good time, so if my presence there for any or no reason ruins her good time I will happily remove myself. A woman not having a good time is not good company anyways and trying to stay in that will only bring myself down, I will have a better time finding someone who does want…
/r/seduction09/10/24 09:35 PM
30

I remember this one time I got friendzoned after fucking her. This was a chick I met on OLD and told her she could come to my place as a first date. I wasn't really expecting that to work, I just didn't care to do it "properly" that time around. For some reason she went along with it and didn't flake. Problem was that at this point I was very much inexperienced and hadn't practiced any physical escalation, so it was kinda the first time for that. I went waaay too slow and I definitely felt very …
/r/seduction09/10/24 05:29 PM
2

I got tired of feeling inferior, I got tired of being treated like I was inferior, then I got angry at everything and myself for allowing it. I then asserted myself, stopped taking shit and told off anyone who would disrespect me. Then I stopped caring because I realized I was literally wasting my time by being angry, I can just move along to something better, I learned to let go. Finally I realized I am a good person, I only wish to have a good time and I realized this is what everyone ultimate…
/r/seduction09/10/24 04:51 PM
2

I don't think of it that way because I find it rather unproductive. I don't look at a woman and think she's above my league, she's either on my level or of lesser interest. I don't care what league they think they are or what league others may think they are. That's not to say I'm unaware of others perception, I totally am, I just don't play by those rules. I will NEVER consider myself of less worth than anyone else, never again will I go back to that misery.
/r/seduction09/10/24 03:59 PM
1

Sure. I did say at most a second message and I meant no sooner than the next day for the second message.
/r/seduction09/10/24 01:23 PM
12

Well, I don't let them take, take, take. I'll happily give, but they damn well should give back or I'm slamming the brakes on it. I want a companion, not a leech. What women do with my kindness is my shit test. This behavioral pattern shows them two things about me, I'm kind if they're kind and I don't let myself be taken advantage of. I capitalize on not being what women expect me to be, as in giving them a very hard time figuring out what "type" I am. What they expect is me playing some sort o…
/r/seduction09/10/24 04:08 AM
1

Sorry, that's not how it works. If you haven't already made a good impression it will only get harder to change that by continuing to pursue, most likely you'll just be worsening her impression of you.
/r/seduction08/10/24 08:59 PM
1

The reason there's a lot of contradictory things is because you don't have experiences to hang the theory onto. There is no contradiction, most of it is correct, it's just a matter of seeing which contexts it applies to. There is no complete sequence set in stone, there's a billion ways to go about it by applying various general principles appropriately to the situation. Reading can only get you so far. At some point you're just hitting a wall because theory can't teach you further. Theory is re…
/r/seduction08/10/24 04:59 PM
1

Yup, if I were to give dating advice to women I'd say reciprocation is incredibly attractive.
/r/seduction08/10/24 04:16 PM
2

I would not send more than 2 messages and the second message wouldn't be until the next day wondering if she forgot to respond or something. After that I'd just consider the ball in her court and go silent, possibly forever, I don't care. Problem with spamming is that if as a result she thinks you're a bit needy, and the chance of this is significant, there is no way back. If you just play it cool and relaxed with all the time in the world it's not going to ruin some chances because you come off…
/r/seduction08/10/24 04:13 PM
3

I agree. Trustworthiness and honesty isn't claimed, unless there's a reason to try to prove it because you're not. Maybe if directly pressured on it, but even then I'd probably just go "I guess time will tell". This is something that is shown by consistently being those things and trust is gained over time anyways by simply not wronging her and staying true. It's mine and many others experience that the worst people say the best things about themselves. If a woman just told me she's honest and c…
/r/seduction08/10/24 02:51 PM
6

It shouldn't be exhausting, she should contribute to it, if not I advise you to drop the dead weight. Sometimes they realize they have to fucking work for it, sometimes they just move on to find someone else to leech on, important part is that they're not holding you back from a good time anymore.
/r/seduction07/10/24 08:40 PM
2

30% isn't bad though.
/r/seduction07/10/24 04:00 PM
1

Ok, how often do you succeed by doing that?
/r/seduction07/10/24 03:30 PM
1

Sounds like low interest. If she just ain't that interested it won't matter much what you do.
/r/seduction07/10/24 03:09 PM
7

Don't just nod along, show that you're actually listening and giving her your undivided attention. You do so by responding to what she says, ask her about stuff related to what she says, sometimes sharing a story of your own related to what she's talking about. If you have nothing to add and she keeps on talking, just let her until you do have something to add to it coming from your curiosity about what she's sharing. If you just sit there nodding, are you really listening? Maybe, but it's reall…
/r/seduction07/10/24 01:52 PM
25

Stay positive and kind, pay attention to her, listen. Look for any opportunity to make the moment more enjoyable. Think about what positive you can contribute. The setting is not important, it's what you always bring with you. It's very hard to give a concrete example of how to be a pleasant and likeable person, but you can start with asking yourself how you'd like to be treated and what you'd appreciate in someone else. Work on being that person. You can also pay close attention to what people …
/r/seduction07/10/24 12:49 PM
88

It took me way too long to realize what value really means in a social context. This is so ridiculously simple that I felt stupid when I realized it. I had been working on increasing my value, as perceived by others, but didn't quite get a breakthrough until I stopped to think what value really is. To gain perceived value you need to give value, do something that others will appreciate. Now this does not mean spamming drinks at chicks or something, it's deeper than that. I give them a good time,…
/r/seduction07/10/24 02:44 AM
3

There's the obvious things like taking care of themselves, it does matter that women try to appear presentable, making the best of what they have to work with of course. This goes as physical attraction and includes fitness, clothes, posture, make-up and all that first meets the eye. As far as I'm concerned the looks only gets the foot in the door, what happens once the woman opens her mouth determines whether the door will open up or shut in her face. Kindness is a BIG deal. If she's genuinely …
/r/seduction07/10/24 01:57 AM
7

Do not plan, go in, put yourself on the spot and improvise. If you get her talking then listen attentively, do not get lost in your mind thinking what to do next, if it seems she's really interesting in whatever she's talking about then dig into it further. Find any excuse in the interaction to move in closer and look for natural point to touch her, lightly at first of course. Stay in control of yourself at all times, if she at any point doesn't look interested in continuing the interaction or l…
/r/seduction06/10/24 10:16 PM
0

Keep it tidy, beyond that it doesn't matter. If you get her to your apartment in the first place it should be pretty hard not to smash unless you're an idiot.
/r/seduction06/10/24 12:46 AM
1

I would never allow a relationship to get to that point in the first place, but if I were in your shoes I'd break up with her. Whatever her issues may be, you shouldn't put up with this. Maybe you can find 20 good things about her, but it doesn't matter if all of it is absolutely fucking eclipsed by this one massive problem.
/r/seduction05/10/24 12:51 AM
34

Couldn't have said it better myself. At one point I drew parallels between a well structured video game and dealing with women, where I am the video game. It's a balance between challenge and reward. If there's no challenge it's boring. If there's too much challenge there's frustration and she might quit. If you give end game rewards in the early game it reduces the challenge, if you don't reward enough there's again frustration. So there needs to be challenge, on a level that she thinks she can…
/r/seduction04/10/24 11:19 PM
2

Think of it like haggling for something you want to buy. Clearly you're interested, shown by just bothering to try to get it, but not at whatever price they tell you. Might not be a perfect analogy, but I think it's pretty close. With women you do show your interest, clearly you want her, BUT you're holding back a bit because you want to figure out if she's worth it. I want to be clear that you shouldn't resist much if she's the one pushing it, at that point you'd be playing stupid games as it's…
/r/seduction04/10/24 08:44 PM
1

I don't think empty chit chat is going to make you more or less compelling to go out with, you're either compelling enough already or you're not. Ask her out at least within the first 10 messages back and forth, if you absolutely feel like saying something else before getting to the point. Personally I'd include "I'm not really a fan of talking over text, but I'd be happy to talk face to face" in there if I'd feel she expects a long text chain. There's far more opportunity to fuck it up with ext…
/r/seduction04/10/24 07:00 PM
9

Saying you'd love to see her again means she has already got you, it's too much investment, you're too easy. You might be regarded as cheap and perhaps even with low standards if you're at that point after just one date. Not saying it might make her wonder if she made enough of an impression on you. She might see it as a challenge and in turn she starts investing her emotions into you, given that she's attracted to begin with of course. The fact that you don't give yourself to her easily may be …
/r/seduction04/10/24 06:49 PM
2

shes afraid to leave him and to be alone. This in itself is generally a red flag indicative of a woman who makes unwise choices and has some insecurity that may likely be destructive in a relationship. I wouldn't commit to that. Besides, who's to say she won't branch swing on you down the line if she'd be willing to do it for you now? Can you trust that? If not, then what's the point?
/r/seduction04/10/24 05:57 PM
3

I don't, I hate aimlessly chatting on text and I'll just say this up front so they know what's up with that. I'll use text to make plans and such, at most a quick status update if it has been a couple days. Any more interesting conversation I save for face to face. Nothing worse than getting to a date and having little to talk about because you wasted all the juicy topics on texts, where you can't really connect as deeply. So I guess my answer is to not even try to be interesting on text, just s…
/r/seduction04/10/24 05:39 PM
5

You desire to win, so you do not really expect rejection. Expecting failure is supposed to take the pressure off, but clearly you still feel the pressure to perform, to achieve, to get a particular outcome. Not only do you need to expect rejection, you need to accept it and be cool with it. You have not yet accepted that rejection is an unavoidable part of the process, until you do your problem will persist. The winning part has nothing to do with outcome, you should not be giving a fuck about o…
/r/seduction04/10/24 04:59 PM
25

"I thought so too, but then I got other ideas" Risky of course, but at least makes it very clear where you stand.
/r/seduction02/10/24 04:37 PM
4

Women are emotional creatures, but I disagree with the rest. Given that they are emotional you'll need to appeal to their emotions, you do not do so intellectually. To appeal to emotion you'll have to operate on an emotional level. It's through emotion that humans bond, on both sides. Humans are not magnets and opposites attract is not a universal rule that applies to everything.
/r/seduction01/10/24 06:35 AM
4

Would definitely be situational, similar to how you describe it. False pretense would require more interest than I'm revealing, if I'm that interested I might as well just be more direct.
/r/seduction30/09/24 11:32 AM
5

indirect one where you obfuscate your intentions. This is not exactly how I view indirect. To me it's less obfuscating my intentions and more about exploring whether I'll develop any intentions. So there is a little bit of interest, hence why I started the conversation, but not enough to the point I want to sell it as "I am definitely interested", because I'm not definitely interested and that's the truth. I don't like the idea that indirect is always assumed to be holding back interest and not …
/r/seduction30/09/24 10:55 AM
3

My best tips for trying not to think about what to say is to instead actively listen to the conversation, let the conversation inspire me and then speak whatever is on my mind. The listening kinda fills the mental void with external input rather than an internal monologue. At least half of any conversation is actually listening to and understanding what's said, kinda hard to do when the attention is at one's own thoughts all the time. This is the way I insert myself into almost any conversation.…
/r/seduction30/09/24 07:51 AM
-1

No
/r/seduction28/09/24 07:30 PM
33

If you're attractive enough it happens all the time.
/r/seduction26/09/24 07:12 PM
1

Why would you pay money to have someone tell you information that is available for free? I never paid for any such thing. I researched what I could find for free on the internet and pieced it together myself. When it reached the point where the truths stood out from repetition from a plethora of sources I went out to practice, and reflect on my experiences in relation to the knowledge I had consumed. That's how I found my way and I doubt anyone could have held my hand through it for money any be…
/r/seduction14/06/24 11:04 PM
1

You would be right. I did a lot of meditation when I realized that, helped a ton. I don't anymore because it had diminishing returns. The more I did it the more it bled into everyday life until I'm in a meditative state most of the time, so sitting down for a session didn't really alter anything anymore. I can solve things in the moment because my mind remains clear even under circumstances that would stress out most people.
/r/seduction25/10/23 08:38 PM
1

It's not really a paradox at all, but I get where you're coming from, I thought it to be a paradox as well. The solution is understanding time. Both cannot exist at the exact same time, that's when it becomes a paradox. It's just another limitation in thinking, nobody says I have to pick one or the other for all time, I just have to pick which it is now. I can't do nothing for all time and thrive any more than I can push myself further for all time and thrive. Nobody can sit on their ass all day…
/r/seduction25/10/23 08:01 PM
2

I should have made that clearer, sorry about that. Not deep down as in forever, I assume that's what you're imagining. During that time of my life though that is what I felt most deeply about doing. I didn't give up sooner because I didn't believe my depression would pass unless I tried doing something about, I believed I had to just keep fighting it. I did what I thought I was supposed to do instead of really listening to what my emotions told me to do, simply just nothing. I didn't know this u…
/r/seduction25/10/23 07:44 PM
2

Looking it up now I see that's fairly accurate. Haven't really cared what philosophical direction I went, I just did what worked for me.
/r/seduction25/10/23 04:14 PM
3

The only hard part about it is letting go and accepting your life as it is. You literally have to do nothing. Just keep asking yourself if what you're about to do REALLY is a step in a good direction, is it REALLY what you want to do. I was also stuck thinking I was supposed to do this or that and fooling myself into thinking I actually wanted to do that. All along though there was a signal inside me telling me that isn't the way, but I wasn't listening. It's really the same thing that happened …
/r/seduction25/10/23 03:30 PM
10

I have no simple answer to that and I'm not sure I can even fully put words to it, but I'll try. As I said, I realized making my well being highly dependent on external factors was a bad idea. This came from understanding what I can and cannot control. I can exert control over myself, at best I have limited influence over the external and at worst I can't control the external. So logically it follows that being dependent on something external to achieve internal well being is unreliable. My next…
/r/seduction25/10/23 05:02 AM
35

This is the same problem as some people who grow up poor, but work their asses off to become rich. It's just never enough even if they're wildly successful, they're still running away from their past and chasing the future, being mostly miserable in the present. This strong dissatisfaction is the main motivation for such massive action and they don't stop because they strongly fear reverting back to how things were. It's the same problem, the difference is lack of success with women instead of w…
/r/seduction24/10/23 10:56 PM
2

He probably couldn't be a coach. I understand how he operates, I know it's one thing to be this way and another to convey it in a meaningful way to someone who doesn't understand it from the inside. I don't think I could coach this either, but I could do it in practice all day long. I don't know how to put words to it and express in a way that would make others understand.
/r/seduction28/03/22 02:27 AM
0

A newbie telling a girl she's cute for a lack of other ways of initiating a conversation tells her exactly that, you're yet another uninteresting newbie. It's not the fact that you're giving a compliment that's really the issue, it's that every other uninteresting guy before you did exactly the same. It's just boring and lets her know right off the bat that the following interaction will most likely be awkward or uncomfortable.
/r/seduction25/01/22 12:14 PM
19

I can't imagine ever putting in effort to keep a woman interested. I am who I am and either she is or isn't. A constant chase to keep someone around isn't sustainable and not a desirable relationship. A woman will have to put in the same effort I do, otherwise I'm simply not interested. Don't care about the competition, if she's that high maintenance then they can have her, lol.
/r/seduction29/10/21 10:30 PM
1

Which is exactly the conversation many men already have about women who does this. Besides, who fucking cares what a person and you'll probably never see again says to their friends who you don't care what think of you?
/r/seduction26/07/21 08:21 AM
-1

Username checks out
/r/seduction26/07/21 08:16 AM
13

Just grow a thicker skin Easier said than done for many women. I would prefer women being honest about it too, but I totally get why they aren't. Blame the assholes, not the women.
/r/seduction25/07/21 08:51 PM
38

It doesn't matter how politely it's done, too many losers out there don't take no for an answer and even become aggressive. That's how the "nice guys" react. Her: I'm sorry, but I'm not interested (politely). Niceguy: Fucking bitch, hope you get hit by a bus. That shit happens often enough that women don't want to take the chance on a guy they met 5 minutes ago.
/r/seduction25/07/21 08:16 PM
2

I can respect that though.
/r/seduction24/07/21 05:38 PM
1

How do you really determine who you are? You are who you are, the need to put words to it to label and define it in detail isn't strictly necessary. Which is more yourself, the unconscious adaptation or the conscious adaptations you choose for yourself? Yes.
/r/seduction24/07/21 07:37 AM
3

That's not even close to what I said. You are who you are when you stop pretending to be something. As far as I'm concerned fake people and pretenders can fuck right off, they are indeed assholes, but not the kind anyone wants to be around.
/r/seduction23/07/21 09:12 PM
4

Being oneself is to just be without thinking about what to be. I find that many people who think they're being themselves are still just portraying an image of how they believe they are, people usually suck at judging themselves accurately.
/r/seduction23/07/21 04:45 PM
21

True, but I prefer not playing others emotions and giving them false hope. I'd rather be honest about what type of deal I'm looking for, there are plenty of like-minded women out there willing to play.
/r/seduction23/07/21 01:35 PM
64

Yeah, I have also noticed through my experience that no matter how hard you try, your true feelings (or lack thereof) will bleed through one way or another. To them it will feel like something is off, but they might not be able to point out exactly what it is. Chemistry might be faked, but I think you'll need to be a high functioning sociopath to make it believable.
/r/seduction23/07/21 09:51 AM
4

I can tell you don't frequently visit clubs. If the people there actually noticed me going around talking to everyone I'm probably interesting enough to not have to do that in the first place. Unless you REALLY go out of your way to stand out you'll be nearly invisible, almost nobdy will pay attention to you long enough to notice how many you've actually talked to.
/r/seduction25/03/21 04:13 PM
29

Trying to impress isn't the only way to flirt, I'd even say it's one of the worst ways to flirt. The point of flirting is to signal your interest in her, not to make her interested in you. She either just is or isn't interested, if she isn't then flirting won't change that and if she is then she will flirt back. Connecting with someone doesn't mean you only stick to typically platonic topics. You can be more intimate and flirty without going full retard trying to impress and win over.
/r/seduction10/03/21 10:45 AM
1

Literally speak your mind. Scary? Yes. Fun? Yes. Interesting? Yes. Successful? More times than you'd think, but not always. Taking 10 passes before talking. Scary? No. Fun? No. Interesting? No. Successful? Almost never. Personally I experimented because I could never get everyone else's unique approaches to fit me. I wasn't successful for a couple of years actually, but for every time I went out there excited to try out the new crazy ideas my mind had spawned I got closer to understanding. I had…
/r/seduction22/02/21 11:57 PM
1

The ridiculousness of fearing our fellow human beings is part of what I'm getting at. Reframing it is an important stepping stone to reach the level of emotional maturity and confidence I'm talking about. You are absolutely correct, but many have trouble getting to that point and that's what I'm hoping to help with my advice.
/r/seduction22/02/21 06:00 PM
1

Yup, fear of rejection comes from dependence on outcome. Remove your dependence on outcome and you remove your fear of rejection.
/r/seduction22/02/21 08:24 AM
1

Dare to be sexual.
/r/seduction22/02/21 08:21 AM
2

Exactly! Btw, I used to have severe social anxiety some years ago. Realizing that it's not weird to talk to people and that it's even welcomed a lot of times helped a lot. Someone has to start talking, right?
/r/seduction21/02/21 08:41 PM
2

Don't find something to say because you walked up to them, walk up to them because you have something you want to say. You experience this paralysis exactly because you put too much pressure on yourself to impress or get a desired outcome or whatever. Feel for what you want to say and then find someone to share it with.
/r/seduction21/02/21 07:20 PM
7

Ah, I see. Anxiety is indeed a very well known emotional phenomenon. I personally reframe anxiety as excitement, same feeling, different interpretation. I like it, I think people should embrace it rather than trying to fight it.
/r/seduction21/02/21 12:13 PM
1

Not entirely sure what you even mean here, but I'm not opposing your advice, just adding some. In case that's what you mean, you're being vague.
/r/seduction21/02/21 11:45 AM
2

Great list of points! I approve of this. Explore, experiment, fuck around and have fun, there's nothing greater in life. For all the PUA heads out there, this boils down to outcome independence.
/r/seduction21/02/21 11:41 AM
22

Yeah, approaching has a goal oriented vibe to it. Walking up to someone to talk is just curious open exploration of the world around us, it's a much more chill way to frame it. Anxiety is all about perspective. I have only ever "approached" once and it was nerve-wracking, I absolutely get why so many hate it. Looking from the outside I have done the same countless times since, but internally I was looking at it vastly differently and had a much better time with it. I'm just a chill and laid back…
/r/seduction21/02/21 11:28 AM
232

How to kill approach anxiety? Easy, don't "approach". Approaching has become charged with a ton of expectations and pressures, approaching will almost always feel bad if the outcome isn't the desired, which is most of the time. Instead just walk over and strike up a conversation, practically it's the exact same, but mentally it's not. If it's all for a harmless casual conversation it doesn't matter if it goes one way or another, or any way at all. It's just a conversation. "Approaching" never wa…
/r/seduction21/02/21 10:33 AM
2

Yup, I took it too seriously for a while and it was just frustrating all around. After being burnt out I focused on just having fun, with or without results. It lasted a whole 3 weeks before I found my now wife, never stopped having fun though.
/r/seduction16/02/21 06:49 PM
4

I never paid for anything, I watched a lot of free content from RSD and pieced it together by myself. Not sure how much of that is still available on YouTube, I think they took down a ton of their free videos. Other than that I just went out and tried having fun with trying out ideas, that built experience which I could refine and eventually get a good grasp of what it's all about. I don't know how the dating coach market is today, haven't needed any of it again, but I suspect it's pathetic. Eve…
/r/seduction16/02/21 12:04 AM
3

Wish I could give great advice on this, but honestly I can't. I learned the hard way. A woman I dated for a couple of weeks turned out to be full of lies and was probably just keeping me around to be her personal taxi driver. Something changed after that, I distrusted women more and it's kinda hard to emotionally invest if you don't trust them to begin with. I had to see a woman be worthy of trust before I started caring about her.
/r/seduction20/08/20 11:48 PM
4

Nice = Good "Nice" = Bad
/r/seduction20/08/20 03:02 PM
8

Hot = Appeals sexually. Cute = Appeals emotionally. Both = Success.
/r/seduction20/08/20 07:40 AM
6

To allow yourself to suck you need to not give a fuck, then you might have some luck and get the fuck.
/r/seduction20/08/20 07:33 AM
40

Your advice is good if the guy receiving it can moderate his emotional investment. Most guys with very few options can't and will obsess about it until that week has passed. Their emotional investment grows uncontrollably over that time and filled with hope they fire off the long awaited text, only to be even more disappointed when it doesn't yield the desired outcome. Sure, it could yield more results in the big picture to make a second attempt, but the consequences of failure is magnified. For…
/r/seduction20/08/20 07:17 AM
4

Two things come to mind, pacing and relevancy. Pacing: Don't tell everything at once or on one date. Most of it will be disclosed eventually, but you're not in a hurry. Let it drip out here and there, preserve some suspense. Like good TV series, leave them hoping to find out more in the next episode (next date). This should happen naturally from my other point. Relevancy: Not everything is that interesting right now or it isn't that related to the current context. It may pop into your mind, but …
/r/seduction20/08/20 06:28 AM
1

Depends what you're after really. It's excellent as a natural filter for finding someone more likely to be compatible for something long term. It's a setback if you want a larger volume of women for more short term purposes.
/r/seduction20/08/20 06:03 AM
0

You have a great deal of control over the probabilities of various outcomes. It's not like a lottery where you have zero control over the outcome and the chance is a completely random 1/X. Generally speaking, any chance less than 1/1 will be unsatisfying to think about and we all know it definitely isn't 1/1. So better not to think about it, don't stress finding a meaningful relationship and focus on how to best enjoy the activity with all its highs and lows until an opportunity arises, however …
/r/seduction20/08/20 05:52 AM
2

It's not so much about what you objectively do as it is about what your life feels like to you. But yeah, I can also picture a lot of guys missing the point and gravitating towards the stereotypes.
/r/seduction12/08/20 04:02 PM
2

I did read a lot, but I never went for ripped and rich. Reading was a supplement to going out there and trying. I would be uncomfortable with my money or muscles attracting women, especially money. At least now I know she's not into me primarily for those things. Getting ripped or rich isn't even seduction, it's a way to avoid having to know seduction. Honestly, it wasn't that hard to learn or do, the hardest part was unlearning my old beliefs about it all.
/r/seduction07/08/20 04:01 PM
4

Men string women along in these situations purely out of scarcity and fear of loss, she's the only one he has and he lacks confidence in his ability to find another woman in the near future. I think pathetic describes it better than disgusting.
/r/seduction05/08/20 02:29 AM
9

Not all fear is unhealthy or negative.
/r/seduction25/07/20 04:41 AM
186

Replace fear of rejection with fear of regret for not taking action.
/r/seduction25/07/20 03:28 AM
34

I agree. There is something to this though, but "making yourself scarce" is too far. It's just as simple as not being a lot more interested than the other person, it's not about going out of the way to be a lot less interested. If the other person clearly isn't as interested as yourself then it's better to tone down your interest and move on, with the expectation that it will just fizzle out rather than be a strategy that increases interest. Basically, being scarce doesn't work at all on people …
/r/seduction23/07/20 07:36 AM
2

Yeah.
/r/seduction22/07/20 02:41 PM
2

Ah, I see. Sucks to be the guy to tell everyone to leave too.
/r/seduction21/07/20 07:42 PM
2

Yeah, I don't think you can make absolutely sure other than hosting several times and exclude the people who can't behave themselves.
/r/seduction21/07/20 06:48 PM
2

I agree, actively seeking isn't wrong if having fun has higher priority than getting the girl. Commonly it's the other way around and that doesn't really work.
/r/seduction21/07/20 04:29 PM
3

Not necessarily, you can host the party...
/r/seduction21/07/20 04:25 PM
7

Thank you! Distraction implies that subconsciously nothing changes, it's just put on hold. I didn't distract myself, the two years of failing with women made me genuinely tired of it, no attempt at distraction needed. There was nothing I wanted more than to give myself love. You gotta do better than just hope you'll get to a point of self love. You have to practice it, starting right now and begin asking yourself what it is that makes you deem yourself not good enough right now? Don't answer tha…
/r/seduction21/07/20 04:23 PM
215

Some years ago I was constantly thinking about girls, where to meet some, how to get them and all that. I burned myself out over it, at that point I was so sick and tired of it all, I felt like shit. At that time my priorities changed, all I cared about was making myself happy. I then realized that's what I wanted all along, but I had been seeking it through women when that was not necessary at all. That lasted about 3 weeks, talked to a girl at a party, not for the sake of getting anything in p…
/r/seduction21/07/20 06:53 AM
1

Empathy, the ability to read and understand emotions. I think that's what makes people feel there is a connection, that the other person can relate to experiences. I've invested a lot of effort into trying to understand people from all walks of life, to put myself into their shoes (mentally). Everyone seek connection, if you can provide it then you'll be highly valued.
/r/seduction19/07/20 12:12 AM
10

Because it addresses a very common issue related to seduction. Having our self-esteem depend on external factors, not all of which we can control leads to suboptimal performance in seduction. Being focused on a personal mission and purpose makes your self-esteem more internal in a way as you evaluate yourself and your own performance towards your own goals. It's a different frame that IMO is absolutely necessary to have any success in seduction to begin with.
/r/seduction17/07/20 08:24 AM
1

I'm happy this was still in my feed even though it's taken down now. That's funny!
/r/seduction24/06/20 05:52 PM
1

You see, that's your block right there, you think it's such a big let down to women that you live with your parents. Why really? You're young enough for it to be a fairly normal thing, had you been in your 30's then sure it would be a different story. Maybe some of them are let down by that, but this is a rather trivial thing and if something that trivial matters that much to a woman then perhaps she's not really that good of a woman for you? Besides, you won't get any idea of the success rate w…
/r/seduction11/06/20 06:53 AM
1

The point of getting numbers is to contact them to see them again, if you're not using the numbers you get then you obviously won't progress further. If you can figure out the logistics it's as simple as sending a text presenting yourself (unless you also gave her your number), saying you had a good time and suggesting a time and place to meet up again. Your mental block is probably the fact that you're living with your parents, it's not the ideal situation, but it's not a good enough reason to …
/r/seduction11/06/20 05:12 AM
3

I'll try. I have been the class clown in my youth, like you I became aware of how uncool it was and became very self-conscious and uptight for a good while. It was hard to loosen up again, but when I started working on it I set out to find out why being the clown was so uncool. I figured it out. Being the clown is about drawing attention to yourself, it's really a selfish act. Being fun is about giving joy to others, it's not just purely about yourself. Reflect on that fundamental difference and…
/r/seduction11/06/20 03:51 AM
2

You don't need to have the same interest as her. The fact that you don't have a huge interest in something she does, doesn't mean you have anything against it. If you pretend you have interest in something it will only be embarrassing when she discovers your lack of knowledge about it doesn't match your apparent interest level. It's actually a good thing of she has other interests than you, may be you just haven't thought about it. You can take an interest in it, ask questions and learn about it…
/r/seduction04/06/20 07:54 PM
1

Yeah, I forget that the concepts of frame aren't as common as I assume.
/r/seduction03/06/20 05:52 PM
2

As I originally said, environment/setting. This includes picking up on whether the other person is receptive to it at all.
/r/seduction03/06/20 05:38 PM
7

I guess it's less creepy in person than on this sub then, or people on this sub are nothing like anyone I've met.
/r/seduction03/06/20 04:29 PM
4

You sure about that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
/r/seduction03/06/20 04:24 PM
9

I overcame that problem when my fear of missing out and living an incomplete life grew larger than my fear of rejection. For the transition both fears co-existed, making me a nervous wreck, but it helped push myself out there. I was prepared to have to endure this hell for at least a couple of years, but it took me about a month to get desensitized. As far as I know I have one life, I can't handle the thought of one day being close to death and be filled with regrets, I just can't.
/r/seduction03/06/20 04:24 PM
2

Depends. It's not so much what is said that makes a difference, it is very much about how it's presented and in which environment/setting. I make non creepy sexual innuendos all the time (by habit really), most people find it funny, myself included. I sure can see several wrong ways to say that though, it usually becomes creepy if you put too much pressure on it.
/r/seduction03/06/20 04:12 PM
2

This is extremely accurate! I didn't have the luxury of having it condensed in a nice post like this and some of it I figured out purely from experimentation. I went through this process and I can definitely confirm its effectiveness, almost scary how spot on this is to what I did. I went all in and this confidence has become my normal state of being. The chaotic thinking I once had doesn't have a chance to come back, it has become a habit to stop it before it gets out of hand.
/r/seduction29/09/19 12:31 AM
2

Give her some distance.
/r/seduction05/03/17 05:31 PM
2

No, as I said, pretend it didn't happen.
/r/seduction05/03/17 11:19 AM
3

This is a tough one. I can vividly remember doing exactly this once, it was just that one time because I realized instantly how it seemed. I'm not sure how you could correct for this one, I didn't manage to do it without seeming even more desperate. If I were to handle that mess up again I'd pretend it didn't happen and continue where I left off before that. The last thing you should do is to let this bother you. I went a bit further suggesting taking a day off work, I can do so easily and have …
/r/seduction05/03/17 03:14 AM
1

Until the day you know for sure she can't be trusted assume she can be, that's how trust works. About feeling fulfilled, don't always expect more of yourself. Think about how far you've come, not how much further you feel you need to go.
/r/seduction13/11/16 05:30 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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