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EconomistVisible2767 Archive

View 2 posts and 44 comments by EconomistVisible2767 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

EconomistVisible2767/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 02:59 PM
2

EconomistVisible2767/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 04:20 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

I bought out. The entire monthly payment thing would have driven me insane. I wouldn't be able to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 09:18 PM
1

The first $250,000 is a freebie. The remaining is subject to capital gains tax. Or you have two years to roll it into the purchase of a new home. In which case, there are no taxes.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 06:57 PM
2

In CA, all assets and debts accrued during marriage are 50/50. So you both start with a 50% claim on the house and 50% claim on the savings (minus anything either contributed single). CA allows pretty creative settlements. The starting point is to add up everything and divide by 2. You can get there in all sorts of ways. She can get the house, you get the savings. Whatever. Realize that there won't be any early withdrawal fees or taxes should you split the savings. It goes through a process call…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 05:45 PM
1

So here's my situation. It's similar. My ex-wife and I hit rocky times 10 years into our marriage. Fighting became normalized for the next 13 years. I hated being married. But I stayed in the marriage until my kids were mostly grown. My youngest was 16 and chose to live with me when we separated. My older was already an adult in college. Neither of us cheated. Sex was decent. She never said no. But it was a consolation prize. I stuck it out because I wanted to be as hands on as possible with my …
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 05:16 PM
5

Guitar. Music is an endless rabbit hole. And it's fun to get lost in it. This is my go to. It's great when alone. I've also done the sampler for outdoor stuff. Mountain biking, surfing, rock climbing, stand up paddle boarding, frisbee golf, soccer golf, etc. Mountain biking and surfing stuck. I found it easier to find activity based friends than it is to jump into social situations. Some people are the type to connect to strangers. I am not. So activities offer a bridge.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 10:33 PM
1

Check with your lawyer, but I think if you're leaving them intact, there shouldn't be a need for a QDRO.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 11:41 PM
4

My decree was pretty simple. It read something like "House hold items are to be split 50/50." If we couldn't come up with an agreement, we'd go back to court and pay $3000 in fees to litigate a sofa. So, in this way, cooperation just kind of worked out. Deferred comp plans (401k/Roth/403b/etc) get split by QDRO. That's another $500-$2500 process. The assumption is 50/50 in my state. QDRO may be inescapable. I think it's one of the few (only?) ways to avoid tax penalties and withdrawal fees. Defi…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 10:16 PM
1

I was paranoid my ex would play these games. I let a lot of stuff slide during the divorce because it was too expensive to litigate. She sold her car and kept the money (community asset). She also canceled my car insurance. She also cleaned out our bank account. We didn't really get the chance to discuss all of this during the divorce, but I figure it cold be used for ammo during a later conference should she ever play these games. So, talk to a lawyer, make sure it's an okay idea, then make a l…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 05:38 PM
2

Small wins pack a punch. Anything. I had a rat's nest of cords next to my bed. I sorted that out, got rid of the dust bunnies, felt great. A clean house has always been a missed goal for me. Neither my ex nor I cleaned at all. Since divorce, every time I leave or enter a room, I look for something out of place and fix it. Two months of this and my place self-organized. It literally takes 15 minutes here and there to maintain it. But really, just fix something small that chronically nags at you. …
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 05:27 PM
1

There was Her Cost. Then there was Her Cost + The Cost of a Divorce. Then there was the price I was willing to pay. Then there was a "Oh, and the car is banged up." Know the cost of divorce, that's all I can say. It was worth it for me. But there are a wide range of outcomes.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 01:21 AM
1

I put half on cards, half on a signature loan. I had plenty of stock but it was frozen. I had three cards all zero balances. My score went from 820-ish down to low 600s. I got a signature loan right around 750 with a 4.8% loan (2% prime at the time). That helped. The rest went on cards. I was also (barely) funding my kid's college at the time. Never had a late payment. FICO dropped the score so dramatically only because of a running balance spike. I guess going from $0 to $30k is too much for th…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 03:51 PM
3

Similar situation. My ex moved out. She left our son and me in the home alone. I paid the mortgage myself. She initiated the divorce. I wanted her to pay half the mortgage note, or, failing that, all the equity built up during separation. My lawyer said it would be a fight and might actually anger the judge. My lawyer put it this way: You cannot rent much of anything in this city for $2200 (our mortgage payment). She's paying her own separate rent and probably paying more than the mortgage note.…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 04:47 PM
4

Dunno about other states. But CA has "don't change anything" restraining orders that kick into place once a petition is filed with the court. The phone isn't covered explicitly. But car insurance is. Enforcement is weak tho. My ex did cancel my health insurance. It never came up. I totally get the money concerns. I went through the same thing. My lawyer billed me for disputing a previous bill. I got a consistent $2000 bill each month for two years regardless of what actually happened. Some month…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 04:31 PM
1

I lost a lot of weight throughout my divorce. All my suits were ridiculously oversized. All assets were frozen in theory. So money was difficult. I bought a reserved gray blazer (no one will count buttons), cheap fitted button down, and dockers. I had shoes, socks, and ties. Total price $150 to $200. I think some type of jacket is the way to go.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 04:21 PM
4

If she makes 4x more than you, she's much much more at risk with temp orders than you. Have you asked your lawyer what to expect from a hearing? Talk to your lawyer about requesting she pay your legal fees, temporary spousal support, temporary child support, and a much more reasonable custody order. Pacifism didn't work for me. I tried. I think I looked like a gazelle in all honesty.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 06:45 AM
2

My ex cleaned out our checking account. And she played other games with insurance and 401ks. Technically it was all illegal. But it cost too much to litigate and the conferences were on rails. Guys should make a divorce handbook and hand it out at bachelor parties. Seriously. I bet you could compile a lot of the stuff on this sub and sell it as a survival guide / warnings.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 03:15 PM
3

The less cooperative spouse drives. The only recourse is to tell the cranky judge whose time you are wasting by definition to get mad at the holdout instead (tilt your head towards the wife, make googly eyes, and give a knowing insider shrug.) And that usually ends up not working well. You are to be fleeced with no comments sir. I went through two years of the same stuff. My ex isn't financially savvy. She was in the driver's seat. And all the lawyers loved her for it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 11:43 PM
8

This is crystal ball territory. Present value is already a tricky calculation. It's dependent on the economy, early retirement, late retirement, premature death, her getting married again, etc. But throwing a pension into the mix makes a buyout calculation damn well impossible. I would have kept the pension off the table myself. Hopefully they slapped some upfront estimated amount onto the pension. Because if they didn't he's potentially on the hook for every COLA or similar. That would suck. I …
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 04:45 PM
2

Mentally, she is an uncontrollable teenager. She has all the rights of an adult. But she is missing emotional maturity. Here's an example. Cars. I mentioned one totaled after we separated. That was community property that she destroyed. She never gave me half of the check tho hahah. She was a really bad driver. She caused a car accident on average once a year. Some of these were attributed to other drivers. But there's a good argument she caused most or all of them. She totaled three cars in tot…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 11:16 PM
16

My ex wife has a traumatic brain injury from her teens. It's subtle. She was a survivor with a survivor's story so she is something of a darling to everyone she meets. Lots of rah rah cheering. Doctors gave her a 5% chance of living. She graduated college on time which is amazing. She is a high quality person on paper. But live with her for five years, OMG. The trouble really started after we had our first kid. Then we had a second unplanned child (I love him through and through, but I didn't wa…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 04:20 PM
2

It'll get worse before it gets better. For me, and my mental health isn't the best, divorce was 10x worse than marriage. But when I popped out two years later, everything got better. Two years after that, and everything is cheerful even, better than marriage ever was. I got lucky and beat the odds. I didn't owe alimony. I think most men get a bridle and reins and a pretty length monetary penance. Half the length of the marriage is common but it depends on state. So, estimate alimony at six years…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 03:41 PM
1

No two divorces are alike. I'm a motorcycle commuter (vroom vroom) with a family car for groceries and rainy days. She kept the family car. I bought a new car with a $700 note. I purposefully aimed for $40k and financing so I'd have a monthly payment I could call an expense. Since I didn't have a car, needed one, a car was a justified purchase according to my lawyer. And it made me a bit poorer which was also a goal. I did three or four weekend trips during my two year separation. Most had airfa…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 03:26 PM
1

Make sure you didn't overlook it. CA places injunctions/orders in the Summons (FL-110).
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 09:26 PM
4

The less cooperative spouse really drives the price. Cost is proportional to piss and vinegar. And kids complicate things a lot (more billable hours, bigger range of dollars). Per hour on a open ended divorce is pretty much meaningless. With that said, I paid $350/hr ($25,000 total). I had a good outcome but it was a huge gamble. Luck played a huge role.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 09:22 PM
7

That's one way to get a sock.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 08:57 PM
1

I didn't find anything worthwhile. I talked to a few friends, family, and a handful of financial people. My dad was a CPA in his day and we talk a lot. But he's been out of circulation for a while. Credit unions offer free resources including access to financial advisers. I tried two different CUs financial guy. I talked to Edward Jones and another local big management firm. And I tapped into my work resources which were actually the best of the bunch. So, first, both my ex and I have pensions. …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 05:17 PM
2

Summed up in a sentence: Validate the feelings but don't take action on them. This is easier said than done but worth practicing. It's a good skill to learn and applicable to just about every aspect of life. Divorce levels up patience like crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 07:40 PM
4

I can share what happened with my divorce if it helps. Tick miss miss miss miss Tick miss miss miss miss miss Tick (lawyer change) miss miss miss Tick miss miss miss miss (lawyer change) miss miss etc etc etc etc etc etc. Ticks are small conferences that were attended. Misses are small conferences that were delayed, canceled, or affected by her four lawyer changes. The divorce was all on rails as far as court was concerned. I never got a chance to complain about the emptied bank account, the com…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 05:28 PM
2

It's a game of chicken. If she has competent representation, her lawyer is LIKELY (?) coaching her how to slam on the brakes at the last minute to max out her deal. Or she's just a fucking moron who will drive off the cliff. It happens.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 04:19 PM
2

I'm very sorry for your loss. The pain and confusion must be off the charts. I hope you find forgiveness. It'll help healing. Divorce can overwhelm anyone. I did actually think that way for a while. And it's not an easy place to be.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 04:13 PM
3

Maybe it's people influencing her? Lawyers will try to fatten their check. Results vary. But the price tag tends upward. Your stbxw will probably charter a new branch of The Feminist "Divorced Happily Ever" After Drinking Club. They will cackle while vicariously draining the community pot with god awful bad advice. Meanwhile, she'll dance in circles beaming in attention as the others drop rose petals to the ground to celebrate the newest Rage Ritual Queen. It's a shitfest dude. Welcome to the wo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 04:08 PM
3

It takes years to sort this stuff out. Just ignore it for now. Feelings will probably bounce all over the place as the years move on and as expectations of "happily divorced ever after" vanish. I won't rule out friendship with my ex. I just give it 5% odds. It's been two years since the decree and she is worse than ever. She'll run out of runway without ever taking flight. She's basically burning through home equity cash on stupid stuff like a $70k car that gets 12mpg. She will absolutely need h…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 03:54 PM
3

Bingo. That bagel from last week is still hanging around too.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 10:26 PM
7

My suggestion? Not worth it. I bought a nice Les Paul and a tube amp that can shake paint of walls. I keep it on 2 out of 11. This gives meaning to my life. Once I got swept up in the beauty of it all, I became obsessed. I'd rather play the guitar than manage the ups and downs of a relationship. And money is easier now. I'm adding years to my pension. I am maxing out deferred comp savings. I don't think I could do the latter while dating. Plus women have put together a shaming system called AWDT…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 07:07 PM
1

Definitely consult a lawyer. deed was in the name of the trust Unless they made a mistake, your wife's net worth is probably $0.00 and communal property is limited to small stuff like cars. The remodel/home improvements/maintenance almost sounds like a contractor's lien. But, it's likely a false start that won't go anywhere unless you actually have a contract. Were you rent-free while living on the properties? Might be a wash. I'd expect 50/50 on the kid short of DV or child abuse reports or dis…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 04:54 PM
2

Eeeech. Kids get so much power in these situations. But I totally get it. It sounds like she places pettiness above coparenting.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 05:03 PM
4

My lawyer told me after 20 years of practice, she had seen a handful of successful challenges. But absolutely zero after two years. I think "kids" is usually the most successful path. So you're likely safe there as well as time since it was inked. I passed the two year mark last month. I bought a cupcake and a candle to celebrate. It's a shame that she's going to litigate.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 04:50 PM
2

Unfortunately, no, secretive doesn't work. Here's the exact text: For the purposes of determining the date of separation, 'date of separation' means the date that a complete and final break in the marital relationship has occurred, as evidenced by both of the following: (a) One spouse has expressed to the other spouse their intent to end the marriage. (b) The conduct of the spouse is consistent with their intent to end the marriage. https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/codes_displaySection.x…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 04:17 PM
2

You should talk to a lawyer. But here's my understanding for what it's worth (not much, I am not a lawyer). So, first thing, you need to figure out who will have jurisdiction in the divorce, CA or TN. I think there's a six month residency requirement for CA. I'm not sure if you can file during this time or not. It may be important because "Date of Separation" is key in CA divorces. CA is a community property state. All assets and debts accrued in marriage are 50/50. Community property rules end …
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 03:42 PM
1

No offense taken. It's not a random telling him to go buy drugs at Walgreens. It's a random saying go see a doctor. Psychiatrists go through an MD program before actually starting the DO program.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 12:48 AM
3

Depression is normal and can last for years. It's a gloomy and debilitating lens. And it spirals. You know this already. Exercise. Always the goto. It's a legit cure all. It solves anything from heart issues to depression. Cardio is best. Consider home equipment if you can afford it. Let depression guide you to the equipment. Physical exhaustion is better than mental exhaustion. Solid equipment helps. Lifecycle. Peloton. Therapy. Seek out CBT to stop the negativity. Consider schema therapy, an o…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 09:21 PM
3

CA here. Everything you accrued before marriage is yours (you'll need statements from around this time). Everything you accrued after date of separation is yours (again, you'll need statements from around this time). Everything between those dates is community property which is split according to the decree. For my divorce, we agreed on 50/50. But it can be negotiated and often is for buyouts. QDRO is the formal process that management companies generally require before splitting deferred comp p…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 02:56 PM
3

No reflection on you, but that's a bunch of bullshit legalese. Pharma gives a great example. Ozempic has 4000 words of printed warning on a 60 second commercial. It's in a font too small to read on a HD television. This meets some minimum requirement in a unrealistic way. Only lawyers and lobbyists think this is good consumer protection, and then only because they're paid to believe. As far as I know, CA never warns of alimony. It defines it in FC. Volume 1 is 720 pages. Couples aren't going to …
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 04:00 PM
19

Me: "Are you ever going to vacuum?" Her: "The vacuum is broken." Me: "I vacuumed and it worked." I heard a series of loud bangs. Went to investigate. Vacuum is at the bottom of the stairs. Her: "The vacuum is broken." It was the last straw for both of us. It took us 23 years to get here. My perspective? She was taking advantage. Her perspective? And what of it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 04:37 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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