Advice

aquatic-dreams · 2024-11-21T08:17:57+00:00

It will be rough. Try a different type of therapy, CBT doesn't do shit for me. DBT and EDMR, are much more helpful, but I'm also AuDHD.

My brother, who it turns out always hated her and was the one with me while I was debating backing out before the wedding, she proposed, said to me when I was struggling, 'would go back to that? Seriously, you can't tell me you would go back to that.'

Talk to a lawyer, hire counsel. Pay someone to watch out for your ass.

EconomistVisible2767 · 2024-11-20T15:41:07+00:00

It'll get worse before it gets better.

For me, and my mental health isn't the best, divorce was 10x worse than marriage. But when I popped out two years later, everything got better. Two years after that, and everything is cheerful even, better than marriage ever was.

I got lucky and beat the odds. I didn't owe alimony. I think most men get a bridle and reins and a pretty length monetary penance. Half the length of the marriage is common but it depends on state. So, estimate alimony at six years. Child support until they're grown.

And divorce is something like nuclear war. It turns the landscape into an instant desert. It takes years for stuff to start growing again. It's best avoided if at all possible. But you'd need to redefine your marriage to avoid it... lotsa therapy, lots of concessions, lots of compromise.

Check with a lawyer for specifics for your state.

Title	Advice
Author	Strong-Pen-5230
Upvotes	1
Comments	2
Date	November 20, 2024 5:55 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1gvitji/advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/advice.1536340 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536340

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