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Either_Evidence_1986 Archive

View 3 posts and 112 comments by Either_Evidence_1986 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Stay strong kings
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 12:14 PM
3

My son is mildly autistic. About 6 months post divorce at this point. I was able to keep the house. I haven’t changed much to not affect my son’s already changing world. As you know autistic children are very routine oriented. I keep the same routines with him for bath time and bed time. He is doing remarkably well. Be the best dad you can be and it will not have much effect. At least in my scenario that’s what I’ve tried to do. I was very worried about him at the start of this process, but I am…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 11:11 AM
5

Lmfao
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 01:16 PM
5

Yep. And the selfish bitch wants to sit in mediation and say to me its all about the money to you? Well its a big part of it seeing as I'm the only one paying it and on the receiving end of none of it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 11:18 AM
1

Thanks man. I mix in some Kirkland canned chicken sandwiches half the week as well shouldve mentioned that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 03:01 PM
2

I hear ya man. They turn into the most insane people you will ever meet. My ex is currently trying to hold me to something in the memorandum of understanding that the mediator put in there without my consent. My ex is saying its a divorce decree. She is beyond fucking dumb. They all are.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 01:27 PM
1

It really is laughable. Annoying af and infuriating. But laughable.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 01:19 PM
1

Lmfao preach my guy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 12:55 PM
2

Took me a couple weeks. I used to make tuna sandwiches every day for lunch. It was the only thing I'd eat. I'd make sure to put extra mayo in the sandwiches to make sure I was getting enough calories. Eventually graduated to the tuna sandwich for lunch and 3 eggs and 2 pieces of toast for dinner.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 12:18 PM
4

Finishing up mediation now. Still some issues that should be resolved but I think we won't go over our $3500 retainer at $450 an hour. It all depends on what changes. I'll tell you right now I thought we had everything sorted out going in but now I'm arguing over stupid shit my ex wants to piss about. Stay strong and move quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 12:16 PM
2

File the protective order and get a lawyer. I understand financial times may be tough, but this is the most important thing in your life right now to not fuck up. Good luck and stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 03:45 PM
2

Lmao I'm past what makes me feel good. I just want this shit show over with. I know it sounds dumb to say but I dont give a fuck about the money. I dont care if I go in debt. I want what's right for me and my children. And whatever that price is I will get my peace and my day will come. Godspeed brother. Find your peace.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 09:54 PM
1

I dont even know how she got a law degree. Shes a fucking idiot.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 05:13 PM
1

I have laughed more times than I thought I would in mediation. My ex is running scared because she has no place to go. And my plan currently is sign this shit or were going to court where I will expose her for her shitty behavior, lies, and her being an absent mom. I have built up so much evidence of this over the last 2 months. She spends 2 to 3 hours on the phone with her boyfriend every day while I'm at work and she's "watching" the children on top of 2 to 4 hours a day screen time on tiktok …
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 03:18 PM
2

The rationale is that my ex doesn't think 60 days post finalization of the divorce is enough time to find a place and move out. My ex said she will not sign the agreement with that in there. I found this fucking ridiculous with the amount of money and a paid off car she was walking away with. I said 60 days is absolutely reasonable since finalization is prob 30 days out. So 90 days away and its already been 2 months since separation. My ex can't find a single family member to cosign on an apartm…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 03:06 PM
2

Fuck no. I felt like I was taking crazy pills in there. Stood my ground on absolutely not. Talked to my lawyer and she was like wtf absolutely not for the exact reasons I was saying. Too much risk and not moving on and separating financially. This pos mediator was trying to tell me it was low risk. I was seeing red in there.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 02:50 PM
2

Agreed. I'm past caring about this idiot. I'm not gonna get pushed over. We have almost everything ironed out except her not having a place to live because she was a sahm for 3 years. My ex has done barely anything to find a job or place to live over the past 2 months. I have kept a log and she has only been home for kids bedtime 35 percent of the time over the last 2 months. I have been home for 100 percent of bed times. I'm building my case in case mediation falls through. Last mediation ended…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 01:41 PM
2

Bro I couldve wrote this myself. Dealing with the exact same thing. It feels like I'm negotiating against my ex and the mediator. I want nothing more or less than 50/50 of everything yet its getting pushed and altered with the mediator favoring my ex. My mediator has not negotiated with my ex in regards to one thing I want. Which is true 50 50. Its infuriating. I also am paying for an attorney on my own dime. We've gone through 3 rounds of mediation and blown through half of the retainer. I'm ho…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 01:30 PM
4

I wake up every morning at 5 or 6 am depending how early I gotta leave for work. I drink my pre-workout. Shit my brains out then work out HARD for an hour or so. Its gotten to the point where I look forward to waking up every morning. Makes me more productive in the morning as well and gets me through the day. Otherwise I'd prob be punching holes in walls.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 01:14 AM
2

Well the crazy part is that considering my ex seemingly had no fucking plan when saying she wanted to get divorced its tough to say where my ex will end up. I know she has to be within 25 miles. I know she's looking but she's already crying about not being able to afford anything nearby. So I have no idea where she'll end up and truthfully I don't give a shit where. I just want her out of my god damn house. Yeah looking at everything im not the one who wanted this yet I'm the one whose paying fo…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 01:50 PM
5

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's so fucking hard and makes no sense. I'm in a similiar boat as you. I'm buying my ex out of the house because she can't afford to. We have kids in school and want to keep them in the district. So now because she wanted to quit the marriage for her new boyfriend I'm on the hook for giving her 90k in her half of equity in the home and half of savings. Plus child support monthly. So now I'm left paying for the same home I was paying for anyways since she was…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 11:19 AM
2

I hear ya man. Stay strong. Shes unhappy. Don't let her see your unhappiness and fuel her fire. Gray rock and focus on the kids. I come home from work and immediately turn my attention to the kids. They're a great distraction and deserve your attention. She does not. My soon to be ex said I'm being rude because I've been gray rocking her. I asked her how. She says you don't talk to me. I said I dont see how thats rude. She didn't know what to say. Just ignore her and it'll eat her up alive. This…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 06:50 PM
2

Yep. I'm going through a very similiar situation. I dont talk to her unless it involves the kids. Otherwise I just pretend like she doesn't exist while cohabitation. I know one day soon I will be buying her out of the house and she will be gone. I will then have my peace. Dont give her what she wants. Stay strong and ignore her as hard as it is.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 06:12 PM
5

This person sounds like a psychopath. Best course of action which seems like you're doing is to just ignore her. She is trying to provoke a response out of you. She wants you to lash out at her so she can say you're abusive. Find your zen. Be a good dad to your daughter like you are. Do not give this psychopath what she wants. Stay strong brother.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 05:55 PM
1

End. Her. Career. She's just getting started with her abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 12:37 PM
14

Personally I dont see the point of understanding why she cheated or had an affair. The short answer is because she's trash. Understanding why she had an affair isn't going to help you at all. Thats my opinion at least but do what makes you feel better. My marriage is ending for similiar reasons and I couldn't care less why she cheated. She did and thats all that matters
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 01:36 AM
13

Man I feel that. I'm trying to be fair in this process and all she ever does is propose bullshit that only benefits her. Its fucking nuts. But I know ill end up in a better place than her post divorce. Stay strong dude. You will too
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 01:53 AM
2

Thats what hurts the most is the thoughtlessness of the kids. The ability to have a stable family. The ability to work through our difficulties. But it doesn't matter because she had an affair. She thinks she found the true love of her life. I keep seeing this fog everyone talks about and its the perfect term to explain why she can't see clearly. Caught up in the emotional high of a new relationship that will fade just like any. Its so sick that this is the person that I wanted to spend the rest…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 01:29 PM
2

Thanks man. I appreciate the advice. Everyone here is so helpful and supportive. Its sad that so many of us are going through or have gone through similiar divorces. My soon to be ex hasn't even spoke to her family. She told me she won't tell them until everything is finalized. So she isn't getting advice from anyone that truly cares about her. I know the day will come when she realizes she destroyed the kids lives and opportunity of a stable family and her own life of having the privelage to se…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 01:11 PM
2

Thats great. Im glad it worked out for you easily there. Neither of us want a drawn out divorce burying us in lawyer costs. My emotions are telling me to file but my brain is telling me to put in the work and get it done as cheaply and quickly as possible. If I were to hire a lawyer then she would to and I fear it would go down the road of a long battle. I am the breadwinner and she is a stay at home mom that works for cash on the weekends. I know I will be fine when this is all said and done an…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 12:59 PM
2

Thanks. Thats exactly what I'm doing. I've already started dividing up kids expenses and custody as well as marital assets. I'm going to finish everything up this weekend and hire a mediator Monday. Based on the advice of this thread if I dont do the work nothing will get done so thats what I'm doing. Otherwise I'd be sitting around for a year giving her a free ride. Not gonna happen.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 12:47 PM
1

Thanks man. Thats the saddest part to me is that I enjoyed being married. I believe in marriage. And unfortunately I will never marry again. The odds just aren't in anyone favor for second marriages and I'm not sure I could ever trust again. I do know I like myself better and the person I've become. I've become a better dad and better person. The kids are my life now and the thought of not seeing them everyday is soul crushing. I'm trying as little contact as possible with her but we are still l…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 08:29 PM
2

Thanks. I have already considered this because the few people I have confided in cannot make any fucking sense or logic out of what she is thinking. Additionally, she has told me she has no intentions to tell her family until the divorce is finalized so she is not seeking advice from anyone that actually cares about her. I believe it is most likely because she knows what she is doing is wrong. I am aware that one day, who knows when, she's going to wake up and realize she's made a giant mistake.…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 01:20 PM
2

Thanks I am in a no fault state. I didnt think the affair would matter in states with no fault. I have already started to compile some evidence anyways. I started hammering out divorce settlement splits last night and she saw me and actually participated. She didn't disagree with anything I had written down which is a good start. I put down that there will be a full disclosure of credit cards because I have a feeling she has been spending money on her affair partner that is my money. She has a c…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 11:12 AM
2

Exactly. I'm not hear for you to shop around. I'm plan A not plan B. I was plan A when I said I do as was she to me. If you want to shop around go ahead, but I won't be here waiting and never will be again. She has sealed her fate with an affair. I know her dad and stepmother separated for a couple of years then got back together and are still married now. Thats not how I operate though and thats not the family values I came from. I believed in marriage and the struggles you endure. Because it's…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 01:16 AM
2

Its so wild to me that this is normal. I dont get it and probably never will. Just need to get this over with.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 09:33 PM
2

Thanks man. I've been keeping a daily journal on my phone of everything I've done for the kids and myself as well as every degenerate thing she's doing. Like tonight she is going out to play poker with her affair partner im sure.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 09:00 PM
3

Thank you for confirming. I feel like I'm losing my mind because she's acting so illogical. Its reassuring and honestly a bit concerning that so many of us have dealt with the same issue. I will take this by the reigns so what needs to be done will get done. I want my life back. I didnt choose divorce but im not gonna sit around waiting on her terms for it to happen while she gets a free ride. Thank you for your guidance in these trying times.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 07:50 PM
2

Thanks man. Thats what I've been trying to do. I have been working out 5 days a week since April. I try to spend as much time with the kids as possible and be a great dad. I honestly don't even give a shit what she does anymore because I am so repulsed by her. I just want her out of the house and get this over with. I know it'll take longer than I'd like but I need to focus on taking the steps to get it done because she currently isn't doing shit to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 06:01 PM
3

Thank you. No booze or drugs here for me since February. Been working out 5 days a week since April. I'm so sorry that happened to you, but appreciate the advice so that doesn't happen to me. If you ever need to reach out please do. This is the most amazingly supportive community I have ever seen.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 03:16 PM
1

Thank you for this. I feel as though I'm thinking logically but second guess myself because the person that wanted this isn't doing shit. You're right. I'm the work mule of the marriage and divorce. I need to take this by the reigns. I have only been buying groceries for the kids. We used to make dinner every night. We haven't done that in 2 weeks. I make myself food. I presume she is as well but not sure. Everyone here has confirmed my thoughts which is reassuring. Now I just need to do it. Tha…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 02:01 PM
2

Well thats the thing. I know she is having an affair with someone 15 years older than her. I know that she has told no one in her family. She said she isn't telling anyone in her family until its all finalized. I can confirm this because they are still all acting normally. As far as I can tell she isn't taking advice from anyone other than possibly the affair partner. Even then though you would think she's thought any of this through, but its not appearing that way. My assumption is that she nev…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 12:38 PM
3

Thanks. Yeah im going to do it myself. Honestly the anxiety has already passed. Its mostly stress now. I know ill be happier once its over. Getting to the over part will be the difficult part as ill have to get it done alone.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 12:07 PM
2

Yeah id prefer to be the one running the show, but god damn. She wanted the divorce yet has done no research or put no effort into making the reality she wanted happen. Oh well. I'll do what I gotta do to get my life back as soon as possible
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:29 AM
3

So fucked
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:27 AM
3

Yeah I expect delays, but I understand now if I dont prepare everything myself the delays will be even longer. So ill take the time this weekend to iron everything out that I wrote down from my consultation with a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:23 AM
5

Thanks for confirming my suspicions as what you're going through seems exactly what I suspect is happening to me. I'm disgusted at the thought that she is not only having an affair, but also wants to leach off of everything I have provided. I didnt ask for much in this marriage. I was appreciative. Made good money so she could stay home. And then she goes and has an affair and calls it quits and won't do a god damn thing to make her reality happen. She wants her cake and to eat it to.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:21 AM
5

She brought it up in February of this year. Let me know she checked out of the marriage then. Said the only reason she hadn't left yet was because of the kids. From February until two weeks ago I changed everything about myself that she said made her "fall out of love with me". I changed everything about me and im not even mad because I liked the person I became and how the marriage seemed to be improving. It all came full stop 2 weeks ago when I discovered the affair. Confronted her calmly abou…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:17 AM
7

Spot on. She is having an affair. I dont think she thought once I found out about it id be moving as quickly as I am to get thus over with. I have provided financial security for her to be a stay at home mom. I think the reality of her having to go back to work and not see the kids everyday is setting in but thats not my problem. She made her bed and now she has to sleep in it. I'll move forward with getting everything ironed out so I can have my peace back.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:12 AM
3

Thanks. Thats what I'm going to have to do. I want my peace back.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:10 AM
2

Neither of us have filed. My understanding when I consulted a lawyer is if one of us files we must go through court and wait 3 months before getting a court appointed mediator. At that point we can't hire our own mediator. If we hire an independent mediator then we get everything ironed out then brought to a judge to sign off on the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:09 AM
4

Thats my worry. Not sure how she would plan on doing that is my only reason why I don't think she is. I think she's stalling as long as possible because I will be buying her out of the house, she has no place to live yet, and doesn't have a job yet. Even though she brought up divorce in February and it all culminated in moving forward with divorce 2 weeks ago after I discovered the affair. She apparently has made no attempts at making the divorce a reality. Even though she stated she grieved the…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:08 AM
5

Thanks. Thats what I'll have to do then. It sucks but I guess it is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 11:05 AM
5

Thats what I expected to hear. Just gotta nut up and do the work myself. It'll suck but its the only way to get it done quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 02:33 AM
10

Is she on tiktok? I think social media is playing a big role in this. At least in my opinion and situation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 07:36 PM
1

Wow. 30 years and just gets up and leaves. Its so nuts how they keep their mouths shut the whole time instead of communicating. I dont get it. Never will. The first time my ex communicated with me was divorce. I changed everything she wanted to the point she says I'm not doing anything wrong. Still she can't find a way to be in love with me in her words. Oh also she has "fallen in love" with someone else. Had they just properly communicated, change would have happened. But nope. Straight to divo…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 10:41 PM
1

Its ok. I'm 2 weeks out from learning the truth and it gets better. The days are long but every day I heal. You will too. Its ok to be scared. Its ok to cry. Just know everyday will get a little bit better
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 01:42 AM
3

Thanks man. I've already started doing that and I can see its already getting to her 2 weeks in. I'm gray rocking unless it involves the kids as we are still living together. Its wild to think that she's the one that wanted this but im already the one that is moving forward easier. She knows she's screwed and will never have the life she had with me. She's even said so. Truly mind boggling behavior to throw it all away.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 10:19 PM
1

Lmao thanks man. I just had to laugh because our situations seem so similiar. I am obviously just starting this journey but I can see the light. I have real friends and real family. I have told very few people and every single one of them has done something for me to help. Not one person has refused the call. Thats priceless and has given me a whole new perspective on life. These people truly love me. Not that I have ever doubted it, but its really a sight to be seen when shit like this happens.…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 10:06 PM
1

Yeah I feel like we're alot alike. I have been reading alot about everything. The divorce process, infidelity, etc. I dont know if your ex was a stay at home mom but mine was. Home 5 days a week with the kids and worked a cash job on the weekends to get out of the house. This is where she met her affair partner that she's "fallen in love with" I'm not going to pretend I was perfect because I wasn't. But when divorce was brought up on her end in February I changed for the better and like the pers…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 09:49 PM
6

I've been wondering the same thing. My soon to be ex comes from a family where divorce is prevalent. I thought this would be a person that valued family. I have a hugely supportive family that welcomed my ex in with open arms. They loved her and treated her as their own. I thought she loved this and even admitted she did. Unfortunately, past trauma has come out and just because we were having difficulties she wants to cut it off before it gets as bad as she's seen in her family. No matter how mu…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 09:31 PM
3

Godspeed soldier
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 09:23 PM
3

Clown world we live in
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 08:48 PM
8

May god be with you all on this mission. It is not easy. It isn't fair. But life isn't easy or fair. We are stronger and braver than the quitters.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 08:47 PM
2

Agreed. Just a rant post. I just find it to be crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 07:58 PM
1

Oh for sure I have no plans on telling her family. I have a hugely supportive family and I let them all know and not one single family member that I've told has said refused to help in any way. Different families I guess and I just find it insane that you wouldn't confide in the people you trust most But then again I'm not the one destroying the family for an affair partner so I'm not the one looking like an idiot. Just venting is all. I understand that ill never have all the answers to this bec…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 02:21 AM
2

Oh for sure. I'm not going to tell them but I just find this insane. Just a rant. I'm more focused than I ever have in my life and know I'm not going to tell them. Thats her business. I just find it insane is all
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 11:10 PM
4

Did she care what kind of mental state she left you in when she left? I know the answer and so do you. Unfortunately as sick as it is you care about this person. But she is not your responsibility. We all choose how to live our lives. Move on and make peace with how she has chosen to live hers. Go get custody of your kids. They need you. I'm not going through exactly what you are but close enough. Stay strong my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 10:20 PM
1

Going through this now with a 4 and 2 year old. We are in the very beggining stages of this separation that I do not want. Its devastating to me thinking about the children. So far we are being amicable with the kids being at the forefront. I only hope it can continue that way. Your situation sounds like its going to be tough if your dealing someone mentally unstable. The way I am currently looking at it is there are no winners in divorce when kids are involved.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 04:17 PM
4

This hits home so hard. Its sick and sad that so many of us seem to be in identical situations. I've thought to myself over and over after reading stories similiar to mine how could this be? How could everyone be in such similiar situations. Theres no possible way all of us could be the pieces of shit our ex spouses make us out to be. It almost feels like an epidemic of sorts. And the only thing I think I can tie it to is social media. The appearance that everyone's life is happy therefore if my…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 07:52 PM
1

Thank you. Other women aren't even on my mind right now. Thankfully I have very supporting family and friends to lean on right now. My focus for now is my kids and career.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 04:35 PM
2

Its so short sighted and selfish. I understand marriage has difficulties that need to be worked through. No one is perfect. Some people apparently would rather jump ship at signs of trouble
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 01:42 PM
6

This is my biggest fear is the boredom. Being left alone with my thoughts. Not seeing my kids everyday. I'm very sorry your going through this. You are not alone
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 11:31 AM
2

Thanks. I have a base salary and I make commission so not sure how that would work as well considering my pay will be different yearly. I'll just wait to see what the lawyers say.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 11:21 AM
1

Its soul crushing. Modern day marriage is apparently a temporary solution instead of working through difficulties. I changed for the better but it was only a one way street.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 11:20 AM
2

I dont hate her. I wish I did hate her. It would make everything Im going through so much easier. I should hate her for the pain she's causing but I dont. Its fucked up. I think most people here are in a similiar situation. Blindsided by their ex. Tried their best. Didnt work. There is alot of resentment
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 06:53 PM
4

Thank you for the advice and encouragement. The sad part is I enjoyed being a provider. I got satisfaction out of putting my family before me. It brought me pride that I could do that. It makes me sad that it wasn't enough. I know what must be done. It just hurts like hell
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 04:06 PM
2

Thanks. I went to my parents first thing this morning before everyone woke up before the truth came out last night after the kids were put to bed. 5hey have been hugely supportive. I bottled every issue we were having since February because of embarrassment and the thought that I could fix this. I know what needs to be done now and need to lean on the people that care. I'm sorry you went through that. I hope you are in a better place now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 03:02 PM
1

Sad but true. I dont know what it means to be in love. I love my wife still. Do I know if I was in love? I have no clue. I know I provided the best I could. I wasn't perfect all the time. There were bad times and good. I did everything because I loved her and my family. But on the flip side when the going gets tough apparently its time to leave. I dont know. Its not logical. I've only realized that I need to do whats best for me and my children now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 03:00 PM
4

Amazing friend you have. A true ride or die. I'm happy you have someone that cares about you. Hopefully everything gets better
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 02:38 PM
3

Thank you. Working out lawyer details now. As much as it hurt to hear her say that it was enough for me to realize this is over
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 02:32 PM
2

Lmao. Thanks. Needed to hear this. The embarrassment is part of it. Thankfully I have a hugely supportive family while she does not. I feel like a failure but at least I can look on the mirror and say I gave it my best
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 02:30 PM
2

Thanm you. Its very sad but I need to be strong for myself and kids. I made effort. I get told now I'm doing nothing wrong but "she's just not IN love" with me anymore. Whatever that means. Tale as old as time. No choice but to do whats best for me and the kids regardless of how painful.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 02:28 PM
2

Thank you. I need to know it gets better. I'm happy to hear it did for you
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 02:27 PM
2

Sadly its most likely true. No evidence but isn't needed. Cheating is cheating. Apparently attention from other men is more important than marriage and a family. I guess those things just get boring.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 02:26 PM
4

Thank you. I have already cut drinking and hitting the gym for a couple months at the advice of this sub. Was stupidly hopeful things would change if I tried harder even though I read countless stories of the same. I realize now its over and doing what I can to move towards the most difficult part of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:59 PM
1

Youre absolutely right and need to accept that fact and move on. Trying to do that now. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:57 PM
1

Spot on. Gave everything I could. I wasn't perfect. Nor was she. Marriage isn't perfect. I'm apparently the only one that realizes this in my marriage though. Everything is my fault why we got to where we are in her mind. No accountability on hers.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:57 PM
1

Thank you for the encouragement. I hope to be in your shoes asap.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:55 PM
3

Angry. Sad. Hurt. No time for emotions though. Trying to focus on whats best for me and the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:54 PM
1

Spot on and realizing this now no matter how much it hurts. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:53 PM
2

Thank you for the advice. Very sorry to hear that happened to you as well. I valued my marriage and believed in it. Now everything I believed in is destroyed. It will be hard but it needs to be done.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:43 PM
2

Agreed. As difficult as it is to hear, I know its what need to be done. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 12:19 PM
1

Thank you. Needed to hear this. This community has been extremely helpful regardless of how shitty I feel.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 12:18 PM
1

Thank you. This is very valuable advice.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 12:17 PM
3

Thanks. Been lurking here for months. I was delusional thinking my marriage was "different". But deep down I knew it wasn't just wasn't ready to let go. I still don't know that I am but there is no other choice. I have to be strong enough to move on now. Hopefully can get responses from lawyers today as I sent several emails last night.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 11:27 AM
3

Thank you and you right. Tough pill to swallow and all. Needed to hear this and focus on moving on and my children.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 11:03 AM
3

Thank you. Needed to hear this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 11:02 AM
5

Thanks for the advice. I have already been hitting the gym 5 days a week for the last 2 months. I started updating my wardrobe. It makes me fycking sick that someone can walk away from their family for some new dick. It all started when she got this new "job" and is primarily surrounded by men. I can only assume she craves the attention and butterflies like a high school kid. This is going to be very tough on me and the children. Everything sounds so simple to walk away from someone who has hurt…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 09:55 AM
3

Thank you. Aside from being worried for the children's sake of a broken home the financial aspect has me completely fucked in the head right now. I dont know how I will be able to survive with throwing support money down a fucking drain. Hopefully the lawyers can ease my pain and won't be as bad as i think it will be? I doubt it but gotta have hope I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 09:50 AM
3

Thank you for the advice. It all sounds so easy for someone that has hurt me like this but also more difficult than I can process right now. I hope I can be strong enough to do whats best for me and the children. Scared of being alone. Scared of how I feel. Scares of being financially destroyed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 09:48 AM
5

Gray rock is the approach I plan on taking. I only hope I'm strong enough to follow through and not slip up. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 09:44 AM
9

Its sick that its already been happening. Was i perfect? No. Is anyone perfect? No. Is she perfect? No. Has this ever stopped me from being a caring father or husband? No. But apparently vows don't mean shit. For better or for worse means nothing. The only thing that matters is her happiness apparently and jump ship at the first sign of trouble and place blame elsewhere. I feel like I'm rambling. Its impossible to process this all. Sorry for what your going through. This advise in here is what I…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 09:43 AM
4

Thank you for the words of encouragement that I need. Very sorry to hear about your situation. I hope everyone in similiar situations can get through this soul crushing experience.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 09:40 AM
3

It would've been 6 years this December. I'm not sure if I was doing to child support calculator correct because there is no way I could survive on what was left per month based on what I was typing in. Hopefully a lawyer can clarify this today. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 09:37 AM
5

Thank you. Its my biggest fear right now is what's best for them. I know a stable home is what is best for them but thats clearly not possible anymore. If they weren't here this would be much easier.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 05:16 AM
4

Thank you. It sounds so much easier than it will probably be but its what has to be done. I cant allow myself to feel the way I have for the last several months.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 05:04 AM
3

Thank you. This is currently the plan as it seems whats best. Scared shitless as this is not what I want but feel that I need to protect myself. I'd give anything to have the marriage I committed to but the writing is on the wall. Emailed attorneys tonight for consultations. Hopefully can get this started tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 04:52 AM
7

Thank you. It makes me sick to my stomach. After I went upstairs to set up my new living situation in the spare bedroom I could hear her crying. It makes me sick. This person who I vowed my life to and is the one that would rather be fucking other people is now crying over the end of a marriage that she is causing. And to think that I could face a protection order from this same person is so fucked. I will search for this stuff now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 04:31 AM
6

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 04:26 AM
11

Thank you. Nearly all of this applies to me. This is easily the most painful thing I have gone through in my life. I have been lurking here for months preparing for this day. Stupidly read story after story thinking my marriage was different and we could turn it around even though everything was the same as everyone else here. Tonight was the final straw when she felt the need to say she wants to fuck other people. Absolutely disgusted me. This is the end however painful it may be. I know what n…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 04:14 AM
3

Thank you. I'm scared shitless. Mainly for my children. I love them more than anything and don't know what to do.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 04:06 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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