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Elesia Archive

View 1 post and 260 comments by Elesia on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

Elesia/r/MensRights22/11/10 12:31 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Clearly, the blog did something that no family court judge can allow - it clearly showed that over a period of many years, the children's mother was abusing alcohol, her children, and the system, and was congratulated for it, while the father was only used as an ATM. We can't have people running around telling the truth! Of course jail is the only answer! /sarcasm off
/r/MensRights24/06/11 11:38 AM
1

Look, I'm sorry, but it is what it is. If you went to buy a used car and some dealer quoted you those numbers, would you be in here complaining? Probably not. If you want your son, you have to sign. Again, I'm sorry, but you are getting HALF OF YOUR SON'S LIFE. Ask around this subreddit. Some of these guys would give their left nut just to see their kid, let alone to have them half-time.
/r/MensRights03/01/11 08:11 PM
0

There are downvote bots on Reddit. There's no reason to believe that this particular subreddit is immune.
/r/MensRights02/01/11 10:17 PM
1

Protest isn't going to change this, only action on the part of men, walking into court and demanding their childrens' civil rights be respected, is going to change this. Frankly, with your opinion regarding women in general, I'm surprised you'd WANT them to help you.
/r/MensRights28/12/10 01:24 PM
1

As the leader of the Men's Rights group I belong to says... which, ironically enough, is more than half women... "Men need to realize that they can support and lead each other. Look around - half the time it's women who are stepping up and doing the research for their men. They lose a lawyer, who do you think is writing their next brief and filing their next claim? Their girlfriends, every time."
/r/MensRights28/12/10 01:10 PM
2

For anyone who has been or is a ongoing victim of this, there is an EXCELLENT book out there called Divorce Poison by Richard Warshak. It describes many of the scenarios in detail and has counterprogramming techniques for most of them. I highly recommend it and we use it with my stepdaughter.
/r/MensRights28/12/10 12:16 PM
1

Yes, that's understood. There is an element of superhumanism required here, and it sucks completely, but until men recognize that a) The system just plain isn't fair, b) Complaining won't change that, and c) Your kids still need you regardless of your poverty/fear/frustration/exhaustion, nothing is going to progress. This is THE civil rights movement of the new millennium. I'm not exaggerating. The changes are not going to be made legislatively, because what most people don't realize is that the…
/r/MensRights28/12/10 12:02 PM
2

I misspoke. Not emergency custody. Emergency visitation. They order the visitation to occur in public places, and being involved with the Men's Rights movement for as long as I have, I know SEVERAL people who have visitation orders demanding children be dropped either at a police station, a homeless shelter, or a hospital waiting room for visitation purposes. Furthermore, my SO has EVERY FUCKING RIGHT to be judgmental. After slogging through the trenches for five years, working two and sometimes…
/r/MensRights28/12/10 11:50 AM
3

I remember your story and you absolutely have the credentials to post what you've said. I understand where you're coming from and I agree that later on in the process, he needs to collect every scrap of evidence in existence of every possible issue with his ex having custody. I just worry for the new guys, stuck on day 2 or 3 of the process, who believe so fervently that their ex's insane acts will somehow MATTER to the court. Sure, they're a part of the issues that the court will consider, but …
/r/MensRights27/12/10 07:07 PM
4

SO and I were reading that together last night. (Kids exchanged with exes, and it was just the two of us.) I was sad. He was PISSED! It's the first time in a while I've seen him ranting and raging around the house. Once I got him calmed down... his point? Yes, the system sucks, but it's never going to stop steamrolling men unless they start standing up and demanding their rights! From the second his daughter came into the world, my SO has been on point, making sure that NOBODY gets in the way of…
/r/MensRights27/12/10 12:49 PM
4

The advice I give most often here is to sit down right now and make up a battle plan, because when it comes to a father trying to preserve his right to parent his children after a split, it really can be a war. He needs to marshal every resource - personal, financial, time-wise. Most family-law lawyers will do a short free consultation; the more he sees, the fewer will be free to represent his ex, and the more free advice he gets. If he asks every single one two or three different questions, he …
/r/MensRights27/12/10 11:30 AM
2

I like this. My father worked away when I was young, and while those short phone calls were good, it would have been nice if he could have read to me the way he did when he was at home. I love that this article respects the dedication of the men, taking time to work on their voices to make the recording perfect for their kids.
/r/MensRights27/12/10 11:16 AM
4

Hehehe - well, I'm a woman, actually, but I've done time with my SO fighting his crazy ex in the family court system, and the one thing I do know is that men who don't push hard get screwed badly. It was my understanding, and should be his argument to his lawyer and to the court, that he was only helping HER move, and that the children were visiting their mother in her new home but that they were always meant to be returned to the family home. He should not agree to return them in writing or it'…
/r/MensRights27/12/10 11:10 AM
6

This is actually the simplest situation we've ever seen on this subreddit, if he's got the balls to do it. Seen simply, she kidnapped the children and abandoned the marital home. If they're still legally together, with no separation documents, then what he needs to do is physically get the kids into his custody and NOT LET THEM GO BACK. Period. If no custody has been determined, then there is no agreement to breach. All he has done is re-secure the rightful custody of his own kids from their kid…
/r/MensRights27/12/10 10:16 AM
1

I have personal experience with this. France does not ban DNA testing, it's just that because the system recognizes that the courts will only receive tests that have been ordered by a judge, labs within the country really can't be paid to process a test privately. Those have to be sent to England. England absolutely DOES do private testing, but again, the court doesn't recognize testing that it has not ordered on its own. What is different in the European system from the American system is that …
/r/MensRights26/12/10 11:31 PM
2

As long as it's being applied equally to both men and women who owe arrearages, I don't see a problem with it.
/r/MensRights24/12/10 05:03 PM
1

Divorces are granted according to the schedule of the court. He had no control over the date of issuance of the papers. Smarten up.
/r/MensRights23/12/10 03:52 PM
2

Nobody should ever have to pay permanent spousal support to anyone, fullstop.
/r/MensRights23/12/10 03:51 PM
1

Having read the article, I'm extremely confused as to how this is specifically a Men's Rights issue.
/r/MensRights23/12/10 03:50 PM
15

He should go for full custody, but he won't get it. Every father should always file for full, because it's the only way to have enough negotiating room to have a fighting chance for 50/50. He needs to immediately amend his custody filing to demand that exchanges take place at the police station. He needs to carry out all contact with the child's mother by email so that her attempts at custodial interference and threats of violence can be documented by the court. As for the boyfriend, he needs to…
/r/MensRights23/12/10 03:27 PM
2

A repost of my comment from that thread: "You can't trust her. Anyone who "tests" your relationship is DEEPLY narcissistic and you will ALWAYS be playing by her rules for the rest of HER marriage. Get the ring back, tell her she failed the test, and thank the heavens that you dodged a bullet."
/r/MensRights23/12/10 02:59 PM
1

CS is based on income, not assets.
/r/MensRights23/12/10 04:48 AM
2

You'll still be liable for child support. Don't bother.
/r/MensRights22/12/10 04:08 PM
2

NO NO NO NO NO FUCKING NO WAY NO HOW NO. Listen to me! You deserve to see your boy, and he deserves his Daddy this Christmas! You sit up and take a deep breath. Take the rest of the day off, go down to your local courthouse, and petition the court for EMERGENCY CUSTODY ORDERS. Right now, mister. AS MUCH CUSTODY AS YOU CAN HANDLE. Go big or go home. She has NO right to do this to you and I don't fucking CARE how hard it is for her. That child has a right to his father. It's not about you and it's…
/r/MensRights22/12/10 04:05 PM
1

It's cool that you came in to post this. Both my ex and my SO are awesome dads, and I love to see guys getting congrats for it. :)
/r/MensRights22/12/10 03:59 PM
1

This is a good article. Sex plus mind-altering substances = trouble, regardless of plumbing arrangement.
/r/MensRights22/12/10 03:51 PM
0

No we don't.
/r/MensRights22/12/10 03:50 PM
2

I've asked people in my abused men's support group who have been falsely accused of rape and/or DV what they'd like to get in the form of reparations, and strangely, they didn't want a PUBLIC apology. They wanted a court-stamped and notarized letter of apology, that they could show to employers, Child Protective Services, and the police; a video apology, taken at court, that they could show to family, friends, and co-workers; and for the person in question to serve 60 days on a locked psychiatri…
/r/MensRights22/12/10 03:43 PM
1

kloo2yoo, there's something about the way this guy talks that reminds me of a debate I had yesterday with a guy called ErisianTestDummy. He got downvoted to shit and I got so frustrated with his circular reasoning I called him a "concern troll" at the end: http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/enw90/women_declare_victory_over_men/c19ji15
/r/MensRights20/12/10 01:22 PM
4

That's the polite term for men and women who choose not to have children, in my opinion. To call them "childless" implies that they're lesser people and have "lost" something they never wanted in the first place.
/r/MensRights20/12/10 12:54 PM
3

In Canada, of the year of parental leave, only a few weeks are meant to allow a woman to physically recuperate, the rest is available to either parent. My ex took most of the leave, I went back to work much earlier.
/r/MensRights20/12/10 12:51 PM
1

A classmate of one of my cousins just presented a research paper stating that for workers in the financial and economic sectors in Canada, the only pay gap for ANY employee was caused by taking significant time out of one's career, for sabbaticals, returning to school, or raising children, and that this pay gap happened to both males and females. I don't see anything wrong with the article, it makes perfect sense to me. What we need to do, as a society, is make a scale, for men and for women: Wo…
/r/MensRights20/12/10 12:49 PM
1

Not irrational at all. My SO went through this in real life. An expanded checklist would be most useful. If you have more to add, you should really make a post. There are a LOT of guys out there who are too alone and ashamed to self-identify. My SO suffered for almost 15 years.
/r/MensRights19/12/10 02:49 AM
3

I can see what you're going for, but we both have the Net at our disposal and can both throw stats like Ninja stars. You post here a lot. I post here a lot. We know the deal with regards to how the transfer of governmental power with regards to feminist influence has affected the employment of women, etc. Fine. Full stop. Where do we GO with that? It's one thing to lament what has passed, but I still have an SO being affected every day by this bullshit legislation, and I still have a son I don't…
/r/MensRights19/12/10 12:40 AM
1

Point one - yes, co-dependency is a very, very dangerous modern phenomenon! Agreed, 100%. Point two - your feminist translator seems to be working at full capacity.
/r/MensRights19/12/10 12:33 AM
3

I can definitely understand what you're saying. For her to build her stupid ideology on the corpse of the decimated economy that your area depended on is definitely cruel and something you would take differently than I do.
/r/MensRights19/12/10 12:31 AM
5

You're right, it isn't about me. But then you come into r/MensRights bitching about a woman who is just STEAMING about awful, awful men, and suddenly it's about YOU? Well, is it about US as people, or NOT about us as people? Are we individually representative of our gender or not?
/r/MensRights19/12/10 12:00 AM
4

This woman is a dangerous psychopath. By picking at the small threads of her argument, I'm afraid that you miss the larger weave. I don't disagree that dismissing the labor of the actual worker is important. My own family is from the country - farm folk, laborers, my uncle was called "king boss" when he got promoted to garbage man. I know what you're saying and I agree with that particular point. It's just that... she's so much MORE fucked up than on JUST that one point.
/r/MensRights18/12/10 11:53 PM
-1

Yes, that's true, I don't disagree. Both my SO and I agree that our bed is our sanctuary from the world. But it remains that a healthy person should find a way to ASK for those needs to be met from their partner in a healthy and reciprocal way, and not drain them dry like a praying mantis on a humping spree.
/r/MensRights18/12/10 11:50 PM
7

Ahem. I work. I raised my son with my ex, then alone, and now with my SO, but I've always been the breadwinner in every situation, and that's fine with me... check my posting history in here for more details. It's most certainly NOT a government job, lol, I'd never survive the tedium. My best friend is a farmer, who runs a very successful farm. Her husband is disabled, but he helps with the housework where he can. If YOU would like to live without police and fire services, you're welcome to it, …
/r/MensRights18/12/10 11:03 PM
0

I just WROTE that! If you go into a relationship with a partner who NEEDS you for something, be they male or female, you've just strolled straight past your first red flag.
/r/MensRights18/12/10 10:58 PM
0

You are missing a bit of a point, I'm afraid. A woman should not NEED a man, and a man should not NEED a woman. Every person should be a whole being unto themselves. If you're going into a relationship with another person who NEEDS you for something, you've already walked right past your first red flag.
/r/MensRights18/12/10 10:57 PM
10

Oh no, not an archaeology buff at all, just enough to be able to name the Sardinians, the North American Haida and Hopi Indians, the Basques, the French Celts, and the Canadian Metis as recent matriarchal societies off the top of my head. You don't even need to dip that FAR back into the last six thousand years. I could do this all day, but I won't. Purposely missing the point to be a concern troll may be a great use of your time, but knocking down your straw men has become a loathesome use of m…
/r/MensRights18/12/10 05:19 PM
11

Because any time you elevate one subgroup and demonize another, you've set the conditions for genocide. I take it you're not much of a history buff.
/r/MensRights18/12/10 03:59 PM
52

So nice of you, Hannah Rosin, to assume that my father, my son, my husband, are somehow inferior to you, because nature granted them outdoor plumbing. Likewise, how kind of you to imply that my daughter and I are naturally superior. While the evil genius inside of me is rubbing its hands together in delight, the rational side of my brain is rightly pulling on the reins, and HARD. How excellent of you to show your bigotry to the world so that we don't have to wonder where you are! One of the most…
/r/MensRights18/12/10 01:42 PM
3

I did some research on this one this morning, since I'm putting off a project that's on deadline, and here's what I've turned up. In North America, I couldn't find any court cases of men suing for breach of contract to marry. In many US states, the statute is specifically written to protect the woman's interests in the case of the man's broken promise. On wedding blogs and industry websites, men who have been "left" are reported to simply take back whatever deposits they can and forfeit the rest…
/r/MensRights18/12/10 01:30 PM
2

It sounds as though you have experience in the area - perhaps if you wanted to expand it out a bit, kloo2yoo would pin it on the side.
/r/MensRights18/12/10 01:15 PM
2

That was excellent.
/r/MensRights18/12/10 01:14 PM
2

That was excellent. May I print it out and circulate it at the nearby university student center?
/r/MensRights18/12/10 01:10 PM
1

Well, no, not really. But thanks for not fact-checking.
/r/MensRights14/12/10 01:22 AM
1

My SO was badly abused by his ex. He has PTSD, he's in counseling. He's been fighting in Family Court for years to maintain his rights over his daughter. Sometimes my SO hears some things I say the wrong way and reacts from his conditioning and abuse. It's not pretty. Do I deserve a medal for hearing wrong words directed at me? No. Do I deserve a medal for being here. No. Do I deserve anything at all for coming here to post about his struggle so that others can gain from what we've learned? No, …
/r/MensRights14/12/10 01:20 AM
25

There have always been whores, and there have always been johns. Quit looking all shocked.
/r/MensRights09/12/10 04:49 PM
1

I'm so sorry. By those rules, my SO would never have gotten shared custody, despite the fact that his ex had been reported for domestic violence before.
/r/MensRights07/12/10 11:07 PM
1

It's really hard to know what to say. They're both losers. I'd love to support the father's rights but if he spends all day cruising past his ex's place giving her the finger instead of going to work or parenting his kids, then I have to wonder if he's not a part of the drama too.
/r/MensRights07/12/10 10:55 PM
1

To which I say, WRONG. Owning interior plumbing and successfully expelling my parasite has never granted me a Nobel prize, and I'm damn sure it's never done it for anyone else, either. :) (Don't get me wrong - my kid kicks ass, but that's because HE is awesome and not just because of me! He's intensity in ten cities and is probably the only thing the ex and I can consistently agree on!) It's about brain power, not anything that Kegel exercises can influence. I loathe people, both male and female…
/r/MensRights07/12/10 10:19 PM
18

That woman should smack herself in the face with a brick. "I'm just as racist/sexist/awful as the people I hate, but it's okay because it's MEEEEEEEE." Hypocrite. For what it's worth, my son's daycare had two male teachers and they were absolutely incredible. That's why my exH and I chose that daycare and I'd recommend the same again in a heartbeat - a strong ratio of male and female influence for children to experience while developing.
/r/MensRights07/12/10 02:51 AM
2

What a ridiculous guard. I can think of several reasons a father may be shopping for his childrens' needs in the middle of the day - lunch break, night shifts, he's a student, a stay-at home dad, works weekends, has a day/afternoon off, etc. Just like a mother might. It's called parenting.
/r/MensRights06/12/10 01:37 PM
1

Reading comprehension fail.
/r/MensRights06/12/10 01:31 PM
2

I think more of shrink4men's posts should be spread around. Reasoned, rational, professional, helpful, and solidly on the side of the man needing help. If only my SO had access to that advice. Kudos for bringing it up, crazyex.
/r/MensRights03/12/10 11:29 PM
1

Heh, sounds like an ex-acquaintance of mine. He'd say anything to find the most damaged and vulnerable women, and then suck them in to his web of increasingly self-aggrandizing behavior while the girls thanked god that "Well, he did forget my birthday, but at least he didn't hit them." Men who take aim at other men without reasonable discussion are usually doing it to cull the weakest pussy from the herd, in my experience.
/r/MensRights03/12/10 11:26 PM
0

Sorry, I should have done more research before I posted. Protective orders are done differently here, are more advantageous, and appear to have a lower burden of proof.
/r/MensRights30/11/10 08:37 PM
1

I can say with certainty that knowing my SO's ex, if he'd tried to go to the police, he'd be doing ten years right now. Not because I'm superwoman. I'm not. It's because I saw my father charged with assault for trying to help a woman being hit by her boyfriend when I was a kid and I realized that it doesn't matter what people SAY, it matters what you can PROVE. Sometimes, you can't prove anything if they're not willing to look, so the best thing you can do is go to ground and try again with more…
/r/MensRights30/11/10 01:40 AM
1

He's being hit hard over there for even posting and not going right to the cops. Depending on where he lives, it could be good advice or his worst possible move. Since it seems he's posting from work, I threw him a primer from someone on the ground that won't do him wrong. Someone else over there has linked him through to the resource list, I think.
/r/MensRights30/11/10 12:55 AM
3

That's such a laugh out loud statement it borders on clinical retardation. Every organized system of food preparation has considered women as inferior for the entire establishment of professional eatery. That's not prejudice, that's fact. It dates back to Biblical times, when women were considered unfit to touch uncooked food during their cycles. She can hate thase facts all she wants, it's true. Even today, a small percentage of elite professional chefs are female. There's such a difference bet…
/r/MensRights29/11/10 11:50 PM
1

That's... just plain horrible. All... 2-3-4 of us, depending on custody, cook together. Food is important for health, but it's also great for bonding. My son proudly wields his chopping knife with MUCH more dexterity than my stepdaughter, despite being younger. Take that, "Kitchen Bitch." And oh wow, don't we love sitting around and eating the results!
/r/MensRights29/11/10 11:38 PM
14

Okay, now what the fucking fuck was THAT piece of shit?!? My former husband cheerfully shared kitchen activities with me and makes some of the best peanut butter cookies I've ever had. My SO comes from a long line of cooks and chefs and was not only fully able to bake and decorate our wedding cake, he can knock out most of the repertoire of a French chef without breaking a sweat. My stuff tends to be faster and more world-cuisine oriented, although I still haven't figured out a fast way to make …
/r/MensRights29/11/10 11:28 PM
2

Yes, and I do understand that. Make no mistake, I think women who do that are much, much worse than pond scum. I just hate the vibe I get in here sometimes that lying is okay. It's not okay. The current situation is horrible and unjust, nobody understands that better than I do as I watch my SO pacing RIGHT NOW for yet ANOTHER court date being held only a few days from now... with my SD being babysat by MY MOTHER... with a lawyer being paid for from MY PAYCHECK. But you don't fix injustice by lyi…
/r/MensRights29/11/10 11:08 PM
2

Yes, I agree with you there. From what I've read, women make attempts as a cry for help, and use overdoses and cutting because they're reversible. Men make attempts because you have to try to succeed, and use methods like hanging and gunshots because they work. Either way, the OP needs to steer clear of anyone using their life as a message.
/r/MensRights29/11/10 06:19 PM
1

Then get the word out to men in the state of Washington - When you divorce, be the first to file, file for sole possession of the matrimonial home, file for full custody, and file an ex parte TRO with evidence. That'll get the law fixed pretty quick. Use their errors against them and watch them fold like Superman on laundry day.
/r/MensRights29/11/10 05:38 PM
7

You are getting pulled in, I can see it from here. God, it's like a horror movie where the guy is going down the stairs in the dark.
/r/MensRights29/11/10 05:34 PM
10

Please don't. I know that you would like to know that she's okay, but you are putting yourself at grave risk of being called a rapist, or worse, getting drawn into the world of a drug dependent and possibly mentally ill woman with a very, very angry and vindictive mother. Protect yourself.
/r/MensRights29/11/10 05:32 PM
2

Women make more suicide attempts, men are more frequently successful because they choose more lethal methods. If you need stats, I can look them up later, I'm on my lunch break right now.
/r/MensRights29/11/10 05:30 PM
2

No financial award is enough to make restitution for what he's lost - his businesses, his reputation, his liberty, and his daughter. Aside from the civil suit, there should be criminal charges laid as well for everyone who perjured themselves in front of the court.
/r/MensRights29/11/10 04:12 PM
1

HIV, yes, but there's no clinically reliable test for HPV in males.
/r/MensRights29/11/10 01:54 PM
7

You did NOTHING wrong. You didn't know she was in a bad mental place. It's not like she walked around with a sign on her neck advertising her depression. You're obviously feeling a normal sense of compassion for someone you like who is in a bad place, but you didn't cause her problems and you cannot fix them, either. She is in the hands of medical professionals now, so please take care of yourself. If you can talk to a counselor... you sound like you may be school-aged, possibly... that would be…
/r/MensRights29/11/10 12:29 PM
6

Hey. :) And I do know female MRAs IRL, since I belong to a support group for male victims of DV on behalf of my SO, who's still a little too traumatized to attend for himself.
/r/MensRights29/11/10 12:21 PM
3

See my freaked-out post up top. It still applies. Fucking liars are fucking liars. I'd still back up the guy for going home, packing his shit, and leaving that night. When a marriage partner shows that they're willing to lie about something as fundamental as having surgery in order to deceive you, it shows that they're willing to lie about anything, large or small. They've showed that they have no honor and that you are NEVER going to be able to trust them about anything, ever. Male, female, or …
/r/MensRights29/11/10 12:17 PM
6

Again, I point upthread... Why is it that it's okay for the guys in here to fly off the handle when women lie about birth control, but I do it when a man is lying about birth control and suddenly I am the one who's the outlier? Dishonor is dishonor. I feel very strongly that I couldn't remain in a marriage where I knew I was attached to a proven liar.
/r/MensRights29/11/10 12:08 PM
2

What's the point of staying married to a person proven to be a liar? Can you ever have a fundamental sense of trust?
/r/MensRights29/11/10 12:06 PM
3

Why is it that it's okay for the guys in here to fly off the handle when women lie about birth control, but I do it when a man is lying about birth control and suddenly I am the one who's the outlier?
/r/MensRights29/11/10 12:05 PM
5

That was one reason my ex and I divorced, actually. He came to realize he DID want more, and I was firmly behind having one. We parted amicably and have a fine coparenting relationship. He went on to have more kids with his second wife. I gained a stepdaughter through my marriage, but didn't repeat the very harrowing birth experience, so it worked out perfectly for both of us. We just sat down and talked honestly. Yeah, we didn't stay together, but we didn't really work anyway. That was just one…
/r/MensRights29/11/10 12:03 PM
4

You're entitled to your opinion. I think women who deceive men about contraception are also fucking liars who aren't worth the oxygen they steal from the rest of us.
/r/MensRights29/11/10 11:37 AM
-2

As a fair and rational person , I would be INFURIATED that my spouse was a fucking liar. Frankly, I'd divorce any loser that did this to me, he could take his 50% custody and enjoy his loss of companionship, sex, and my substantial income. I'd be out the door that night. He could keep the house and the contents, I can come back for the stuff that I have receipts for... oh, look, that's most of it, this isn't my first time at the rodeo. He could worry about arranging and setting up daycare during…
/r/MensRights29/11/10 01:11 AM
11

I actually fought my ex NOT to cut my son. I admit to going psycho bitch on that one, but I couldn't stomach the idea of doing cosmetic surgery without anaesthetic on an uninformed party without a medically approved reason. (That's the norm in my area.) Just because my son was a minor, that didn't mean he didn't have the right to decide on his own life. Thankfully, I held out and our son was born normal, uncut, with completely regular foreskin. My ex is STILL not used to it and after our divorce…
/r/MensRights29/11/10 12:55 AM
2

I wholeheartedly don't agree with the idea that you don't need an attorney. For a simple divorce with a sane woman, sure, but probably not when custody is involved. When it comes to a personality disordered ex-spouse, if a man walks into court with no attorney, he's going to get sliced, diced, and julienned by the system. The article makes a very good point, though - if you don't understand the system, you run the risk of picking a lawyer who doesn't do a goddamned thing except cash progressivel…
/r/MensRights28/11/10 06:04 PM
1

You don't have to apologize for caring for your daughter. People are reluctant to believe that a mother really CAN be a train wreck. If you think the minor opposition you saw in here is bad, wait until you get to court. You're going to hear that disbelief, explicitly and implicitly, a hundred times, a thousand times, a million times over, and from people who hold your daughter's life in their hands. You HAVE to let it roll off your back. Think of this as a training ground. Learn to meet oppositi…
/r/MensRights28/11/10 04:12 PM
1

Not going to argue that one bit. The child-support racket is a HUGE cash cow for the states. Texas alone pulls in over a billion dollars a year.
/r/MensRights28/11/10 03:57 PM
3

Because my SO and I live a story ten times worse than this guy's. Because he's not asking for his wife to be locked up for twenty years. Because he's not asking for his wife to be shamed, humiliated, or in any way publicly acknowledged. Because he's trying to AVOID using the system. That's why I know it's the truth.
/r/MensRights28/11/10 01:07 PM
1

It's normal and natural to be scared. Keep posting here, we'll walk with you. Just don't let it stop you from doing what needs to be done, because your daughter needs her daddy to be her hero right now!
/r/MensRights28/11/10 12:30 PM
1

I don't disagree with you. I just think that if the government is being stolen from, and then non-custodial dads are being stolen from, the government will work damn hard to get their money back and then stop making an effort... because that's their precedent.
/r/MensRights28/11/10 12:17 PM
4

This is nothing new. Back in the day, say,1985 or so, my Dad's foster sister was a lady of the night, and she knew how to make a credit card imprint with the back of a spoon. The one thing you can depend on is that the salacious trades know how to take advantage of the unfortunates of the world. This isn't a Men's Rights issue. This is an Economics of Underdeveloped Societal Complements issue. tl;dr The lowest of the low always know how to scam the system.
/r/MensRights27/11/10 10:39 PM
8

You need a lawyer. You're dealing with so many issues here, I can't even begin to sort them out, and I've been on the high-conflict psycho-ex-wife roller coaster for at least half a decade. You're dealing with possibly two states having jurisdiction; the potential for medical abuse; possible sexual abuse; financial irregularities, and a potential critical illness in the custodial parent. I'm sorry, I know how hard it is to find a retainer. My SO and I work double time to pay his court fees and k…
/r/MensRights27/11/10 10:21 PM
2

I don't think it harms MRAs at all to lend their voices to the cause. These children->teens->people are being horribly abused, and need advocacy as much as anyone. I am not a man, but I speak here because my concern is human rights. MRAs, while you advocate for your brothers, spare a moment to say a word or two for these girls, because they deserve the energy of your advocacy. I promise you no feminist is out there sheltering these free thinkers who were trying to escape the status quo.
/r/MensRights27/11/10 07:25 PM
1

Ahem... payment for what, exactly?
/r/MensRights27/11/10 07:20 PM
4

Something you said in your post resonated very strongly with me. People who make false accusations DO expect the police, and the system, to be their personal cheerleaders. I definitely see that every time SO's ex takes us back to court. Every time, she comes with a new negative advocate. It's a new one every time, because she burns through them quickly with her lies. But there's really no end to the number of people who will fall for a "poor, defenseless single mother at risk of having custody t…
/r/MensRights27/11/10 03:41 PM
1

I am very glad that the case will proceed despite the plaintiff's death. Hopefully, not only the estate and those poor children will benefit, but case law can be established for use in future cases. How terrible that this poor man never lived to see himself vindicated.
/r/MensRights27/11/10 01:08 PM
2

What she did was totally out of line and incredibly rude. He had every right to beg off for any reason. Nobody should be expected to perform on command except a paid professional. If you want decent sex advice, go read Dan Savage.
/r/MensRights27/11/10 01:05 PM
12

When I read this, I see a very different story. As most of you know, my SO was badly abused by his ex-wife for the duration of their marriage. She abused their daughter as well. He stayed because he knew he could not get custody as a single man. It was not until I came along that he was able to make an escape plan for himself and his daughter that was foolproof... well, if you call a shitload of alimony and 50/50 custody foolproof. But it got him out legally protected, anyway. That didn't stop h…
/r/MensRights27/11/10 01:02 PM
2

I read that story, and read it, and read it again. 10,000 women abducted. 6,000 children. That's a shitload of people being moved around without regard for their dignity. That's not a men's rights issue, that's a human rights issue. This man deserves to find the family from whom he was forcibly removed. His sorrow bleeds from the page. I really hope that one day he finds the family he's looking for.
/r/MensRights27/11/10 12:38 AM
2

Are you asking this seriously? I am a woman who posts very regularly in this subreddit. I like it here. I care deeply about Men's Rights, since I have a minor son and an SO who has been abused, and frankly, I feel like I can take care of myself. Would I have dated a Men's Rights Activist before I was married? Absolutely! Men's Rights are human rights! Nobody should be shackled to another person. Every individual should be responsible for themselves emotionally, legally, and especially financiall…
/r/MensRights27/11/10 12:09 AM
2

If I had that much money, I'd gladly pay it make SO's ex have to stop making false accusations against SO. That would be sweet.
/r/MensRights23/11/10 11:08 PM
8

Definitely crosspost this to r/atheism. They'll be just as infuriated as we are.
/r/MensRights23/11/10 12:32 PM
2

Yep. It's a good thing we're together and that I work or there would be no way he'd be able to have joint custody of his daughter. Alone, he wouldn't be able to put a roof over his own head, let alone hers.
/r/MensRights23/11/10 11:20 AM
5

Oh. OH!!!!!!!!! I SEE WHAT HE DID THERE!!!!! HE JUST PAID FOR THE WOMAN TO SHUT HER MOUTH FOREVER! GENIUS!!! If she's been a constant thorn in his side and pain in his ass for the last ten years, as SO many high-conflict personalities are, then he just won something WAY better than money. He's just stopped her from filing slews of frivolous claims, from slandering him to family and friends, from bitching to the press... he did the thing that SO many of us in these situations dream of doing. HE D…
/r/MensRights23/11/10 11:18 AM
10

Probably not a troll post. My SO's ex still complains bitterly that she's expected to use the child support and alimony that my SO pays (two thirds of his before tax income, by the way) and hits up food banks, toy drives, and every charity under the sun. If they knew that they were giving their support to a woman making more than a paramedic, I hope to hell they'd change their mind. But she's so freaking sure she deserves the world to kiss her ass that nobody has ever even asked for a bank state…
/r/MensRights22/11/10 09:25 PM
58

The British family court system is EVEN WORSE than the American one. The men in the support group that SO and I belong to have shared horror stories of absolutely epic proportions. This man has the resources to appeal this court decision, and he should. There's absolutely no way that this should stand, because it is completely unsupportable by logic. The payout is clearly not in the interest of the child, and clearly does not meet the definition of alimony. It's nothing more than extortion and t…
/r/MensRights22/11/10 04:16 PM
3

This case is AWFUL. Columnists all over southern Ontario are calling for this judge to be officially censured. For reference, the ENTIRE public thinks this judge is a freak. The Toronto Star is Canada's largest newspaper and is a VERY liberal, left-leaning publication. The reporter who covered the story is a woman, Rosie DiManno. She wrote not one but TWO front-page articles on November 17th SLAMMING both the judge and the child protection system that focused on an innocent man and ignored the w…
/r/MensRights22/11/10 12:19 PM
2

Thank you. :) The wait-list for counseling dealing with PTSD in men who have been abused by their partners in our area is really, really long. We're both hoping that the resources can help him address some behaviors he's not happy about in the meantime.
/r/MensRights22/11/10 12:03 PM
5

1) The resource list is there, but that link has NEVER been mentioned in the whole time I've been on Reddit, and DV against males is frequently mentioned. If men are in need of help, and at one time, my SO desperately needed this kind of resource, I feel it's my duty to repost in case they don't notice it's on the side. I sure as heck didn't. If someone was bleeding to death, you wouldn't say, "Oh, hell, they wrote 911 on the wall over there, just call them already!" 2) Understood. 3) Corrected.…
/r/MensRights22/11/10 01:21 AM
3

Sorry, I misinterpreted a link I was sent this morning. The fine has not been decided yet. And for the love of pete, using Fox News as a reliable source is just as questionable as ANYTHING I might have made up off the top of my head!
/r/MensRights22/11/10 01:12 AM
6

Why the fucking fuck would you keep a "FRIEND" like that? Come on, guys, use your heads!
/r/MensRights22/11/10 12:36 AM
9

I only comment as an outsider, but my horror is COMPLETELY unbiased! The cancer survivor left to soak in urine in Detroit was male. Totally, totally inappropriate. The young boy strip-searched in public... male child. Totally inappropriate. Michael Yon, a veteran war reporter who was detained, interrogated, and handcuffed at Seattle's airport for refusing to answer the TSA's questions about his income... not female. And of course, we all know that John Tyner just refused to allow a TSA agent to …
/r/MensRights22/11/10 12:22 AM
1

It's the only way my stepdaughter can get a reliable report to child protective services about her mother. If her father or I try to do it, they log it as a "custodial dispute."
/r/MensRights21/11/10 12:52 AM
9

I'm not American, and I'm not entirely familiar with the players, so I'd appreciate some background on their stands to evaluate her comments. Nancy Pelosi is accusing him of breaking him into tears during working hours instead of engaging in debates as a distracting mechanism. Does he actually do that? If a woman did that, she'd quickly be accused of being histrionic and unsuitable for the task. As an outsider, this is a terrible way of doing business for someone of any gender, so I have a hard …
/r/MensRights21/11/10 12:34 AM
2

It makes me happy to hear it. There need to be more sentences and more large fines to deter women from thinking this is EVER an appropriate idea. This poor man should pursue a civil claim for damages as well. With a criminal conviction, he can prove her guilt beyond the standards of the requirements of the U.K.'s system.
/r/MensRights21/11/10 12:29 AM
3

We don't celebrate International Men's Day or International Women's Day in our household, but since we have children the appropriate parent is spoiled absolutely ROTTEN on Mother's/Father's day, and we hold our own anniversary sacred and spend it without children and do something mutually agreed upon that we both enjoy.
/r/MensRights21/11/10 12:25 AM
8

Amber's public behavior - denying the felonious assaults on tape, ignoring her custodial time, dating a sex offender - point to mental illness. The fact that she denies mental illness suggest that she's untreatable at this time and is a danger to her ex-fiance and her child. Lock her up for the full sentence and give her treatment while she is securely incarcerated. If she's in any way redeemable, we'll know after she's paid her debt to society.
/r/MensRights20/11/10 12:06 AM
3

Because she feels the right to do it. Do you think she really went any further than that?
/r/MensRights19/11/10 11:28 PM
2

She hasn't GOTTEN OFF until she's paid her ten thousand dollar fine, she is banned from visiting her child unless it's by video uplink, and she's sitting in jail doing 5-15. Don't be celebrating just yet. It's just a charge, it can be dropped and nobody will even blink!
/r/MensRights19/11/10 11:13 PM
1

Very low functioning borderline.
/r/MensRights19/11/10 05:33 PM
1

You can expect her to be responsible all you want, but she's a freaking lunatic and your expectations won't make you anything but more frustrated. Only reasonable and rational people can be held to account for their actions. Pointing out to the general public that she's doing this is a good strategy; it might make people think. Asking HER for an apology is chasing your tail. Crazy people never think THEY are wrong, they think the rest of the world is wrong. I would say the same thing if it was a…
/r/MensRights19/11/10 01:37 PM
1

I hesitate to chalk that up to her own personal skills - I would assume that she has publicity people giving her tips on how to spin her various mental illnesses to the best financial gain.
/r/MensRights19/11/10 11:16 AM
3

You missed something in the message - Aerik is male, and says so in a followup post.
/r/MensRights19/11/10 03:04 AM
2

The aristocrats!
/r/MensRights19/11/10 02:48 AM
1

I don't watch, but a friend who does told me to TiVo it. She looks like my SO's ex-wife with the fast fists and crazy eyes, so I'd lay 100 to 1 odds that she's got BPD. It's a nearly untreatable psych disorder, so for that man's sake and the baby's, she should be jailed and they should pick up and move to an undisclosed location. He should never be in her presence unsupervised again, and the child should NEVER have unsupervised contact. That's what visitation centers are for. I hope against hope…
/r/MensRights18/11/10 10:15 PM
1

Pardon me? When my husband continues to be falsely accused of domestic violence by his ex, years after their divorce, and we continue to pay through the nose because the woman doesn't want to work, and his daughter is STILL uninvited to sleepovers because he's got an undeserved rep as a child abuser because of the ex's lies, and I sit for hours and hours in Family Court, spending his and my good money to fight her back over and over again only to have the judge overlook it all... and wonder if m…
/r/MensRights18/11/10 10:01 PM
1

I sit here in horror, next door, and watch you guys having your essential rights stripped away. There's not another country in the world where you're forced to be touched that way to get on a plane! I've flown through some of the world's busiest, most secure airports, and have been patted down several times, and have never felt violated or disrespected. Earlier this year, I flew through Europe with the kids and was randomly selected for extra screening. It was quick, and so calm and professional…
/r/MensRights18/11/10 03:33 PM
4

Raising Hope is a fantastic new show, with not one but TWO great examples of men who don't have a lot of education or money but they work their asses off to do everything they can to provide and be the best dads they can be. There's some situational humor - Jimmy is young and his parents are letting him sink or swim - but he is very resourceful and always comes through for his daughter. Nathan Fillion on Castle is an EXCELLENT Dad, and he has a very loving and respectful relationship with his te…
/r/MensRights18/11/10 03:07 PM
4

Very nice. I just wish he wouldn't assume that I'm a Feminist because I own a vagina.
/r/MensRights18/11/10 02:53 PM
1

I'm not defending her at all, she's been a fruit loop for years. I just think it's kind of weird to be offended by a woman who's a freaking basket case. It's like getting upset at a schizophrenic street preacher for standing on the northwest corner instead of the southeast.
/r/MensRights18/11/10 01:58 PM
0

That's a good point. I really never thought about it that way. Thank you for pointing out something I've been overlooking. I'll try and soften the message in the future.
/r/MensRights18/11/10 11:28 AM
1

Statistically, perhaps. Experientially, it's worlds apart.
/r/MensRights18/11/10 02:18 AM
1

Disclaimer: I'm so far from being a lawyer it's going to become obvious. Ok. Then go in when your dad is there, with the stated purpose of retrieving childhood photographs. SAY you used YOUR KEY. This trick will ONLY work once. You MUST bring your dad with you, or it's over. Remember, belongings are made of carbon and can always be replaced, people are spirits and they're what you need. If SHE says you broke in... LIE YOUR FUCKING ASS OFF. Tell the cops you have a key, this is your childhood hom…
/r/MensRights18/11/10 02:16 AM
15

Well, duh, she's making the rounds OPENLY STATING that she has massive psychological trauma. Then... SURPRISE!... she manifests massive psychological trauma? Come on, people, catch a clue. This isn't a gender issue, or a sexuality issue. That woman is barely hanging on to life, and has been trying to murder herself by degrees for many years. She hasn't got issues, she's got a subscription. I don't know why men feel so upset and offended. She hasn't even loved HERSELF enough to give herself nutri…
/r/MensRights18/11/10 01:48 AM
1

Yay! Downvoted for nothing but asking for grammar! Woot!
/r/MensRights18/11/10 01:43 AM
1

But you're forgetting that Canada is VERY different from the United States, which is again, VERY different from the Netherlands. (And this is from a Canadian woman... love you guys to bits, but I'd rather be shot than move there!)
/r/MensRights18/11/10 01:25 AM
1

Okay, excellent. Next question - do you have an old key that YOU reasonably believe might still work, and do you know how to break in? (Remember... we're not trying to do things the ETHICAL way. We're doing things the MOSTLY LEGAL and PSYCHO PROOF way.)
/r/MensRights18/11/10 01:19 AM
1

I'm going to make a more general reply than my specific one. Abusers don't play by the rules. You can only outplay them by ignoring the rules of society and skirting the very tippy-toes of the law, obeying the letter but not the spirit. My SO was abused by his wife for a decade and a half, and with the help of some support groups, my family, my friends, and his own ingenuity, we all managed to lift him out together in a way that let him bring my stepdaughter safely with him. It took us MONTHS, a…
/r/MensRights17/11/10 11:52 PM
1

Abusers get away with shit because they're not afraid to play the system. You just have to outplay them. This is how the mentally ill and the psychos stay under the radar for so fucking long. I've been watching the psycho ex do this for years, I've got her playbook down. I get from your replies that you live in the area. Do you still have belongings in the house? Anything from your childhood?
/r/MensRights17/11/10 11:47 PM
2

I read this earlier today, and this just plain does not add. Period. I got together with a therapist friend (also a mandated reporter) from the U.S. and we worked through this blog and the conclusion we came to - ex-wife with a restraining order, husband who should have put his guns in storage in another state, mother with a mental illness causing drama, one father being denied visitation and custody due to false allegations and games, and another adult father NOT HELPING HIS SON. When do people…
/r/MensRights17/11/10 11:27 PM
4

I've looked over the comments, and I think my thoughts and feelings have been adequately covered, and I smacked down the trolls, so I have one more thought to add. I've been downvoted in here for saying this before, but PLEASE! IT'S PRIVILEGE, GUYS! People will not take you seriously until your arguments are smart, solid, sound, and are completely solid in BOTH SPELLING AND GRAMMAR! Downvote me if you want, I'm starting to get used to it, but please, guys, you have valid points that I'd like to …
/r/MensRights17/11/10 11:20 PM
0

And people wonder why r/MensRights is considered to be full of blowhard freaks and losers!
/r/MensRights17/11/10 11:15 PM
3

I'm pretty sure that if the guy looks down and sees a penis, that's not just an opinion.
/r/MensRights17/11/10 11:14 PM
2

This is NOT misandrist! It's at worst, misguidedly bigoted, but it says nothing about gender at ALL. Reading comprehension. GET SOME.
/r/MensRights17/11/10 11:11 PM
2

To do that, you have to have people willing to come without rhetoric.
/r/MensRights17/11/10 05:27 PM
1

The balance of work between Canadian and American women is pretty significant. Please check your sources before posting.
/r/MensRights17/11/10 04:27 PM
5

Meh. I'm a woman who posts here with my own agenda. Men's Rights are close to my heart. My father did not have sons, so he "raised me like a boy." I am divorced from a man who was not a good fit, so, not wanting to harm our son and not being fuckheads, we separated quickly and quietly, without either of us making use of alimony, child support, or child benefits. That son is proudly unaltered, of course, and his learning issues are being supported outside the school system by male AND female teac…
/r/MensRights17/11/10 04:21 PM
2

And TALK ABOUT IT. My SO is still embarrassed to admit he spent so long in an abusive relationship, but he's given me free rein to talk on his behalf and I do. I talk about it whenever it's appropriate to the conversation, how it came to be, how he had bad self-esteem going in, how he felt trapped, why he stayed for his daughter, how he thought she would kill him if he tried to leave, how he managed to eventually get away, and that he has post-traumatic stress disorder today. Everything.
/r/MensRights17/11/10 04:12 PM
10

I'm sad that the funding was lacking in the past, but that video showed me something to sing about! There are units in the UK for men (and men and children) fleeing domestic violence! That is a HUGE achievement! We still have work to do in North America, people. Speak to your representatives, stay on the volunteers you see at social groups. Where is the funding? Where are OUR units for men, and men and children fleeing violence? If it can be done there, it can be done here too!
/r/MensRights17/11/10 04:08 PM
1

You have to.
/r/MensRights17/11/10 04:00 PM
2

YOU WERE A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. PERIOD. Your girl most likely has borderline personality disorder. RUN FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP, YOU WILL END UP IN PRISON. She tried to get you in there before, she will keep trying until you are locked behind bars and she has all your money. I cannot say this enough. Run away, run away, run away, run away. I don't know why you bailed out a woman who beat you and tried to get the cops to take the victim to jail. I think you need therapy to understand that. …
/r/MensRights17/11/10 03:58 PM
2

I think I've posted so much about my first marriage in here that most people are sick of hearing about it. I'm pretty sure that you yourself have been the recipient of several posts about it, if you've retained any of that information. But, to repeat myself and for reference, my first marriage WAS for love and was certainly NOT for money. I am and have always been a career person, as is my ex. We did not join finances during that time, so when we parted, we simply left with what we'd accrued. We…
/r/MensRights17/11/10 12:28 PM
0

I am VERY well aware of that case, and have probably been following it far before it became an issue here. I find it intriguing and somewhat odd on its own merits. That does NOT excuse the author from using proper form and being able to create a case using rational thinking and proper technique. If you never attribute a quote, it's meaningless. He might as well be screaming at the demons in his head. And that's sad, because, while he makes very valid points, without the proper attributation, he …
/r/MensRights17/11/10 01:33 AM
-3

Hi, have you met me? I'm a woman on Men's Rights who actually believes IN men having the exact same rights as women... and vice versa. Your post, however, is... somewhat inscrutable to me. The grammar is lacking and it leads me in several directions. If you could post a followup, I'd be happy to continue.
/r/MensRights17/11/10 01:25 AM
2

What a fantastic article! Again, I don't see this about Men's Rights so much as about human rights. I think more people would be successful in divorce if they stepped back from the emotion and looked at the whole thing as a business. If you enter a contract in the business world and it doesn't work for both parties, one party doesn't get to follow the other for the next twenty years badmouthing it to its divisions and causing harm to the business. Yet, when that contract is a marriage, that's co…
/r/MensRights16/11/10 11:13 PM
2

That's an abominable thought, for sure. Consent, once given, is hallowed. It's the foundation of law. I would like to see a link to the quote, though, to be sure that I'm not being given the same shaded interpretation that feminists are so often accused of delivering.
/r/MensRights16/11/10 11:00 PM
1

Well, logic would dictate that if you don't own one yourself, then you'd devote your mental resources to finding a reasonable female who'd lend hers out at regular intervals... or get a fleshlight. Myself, I revel in the fact that I like mine where it is, in my pants, and not substituting for my brain.
/r/MensRights16/11/10 10:57 PM
4

I apologize. You are correct, I absolutely did miss your point. I agree with you, to an extent. There is a lot of grant money to be found in insisting that women need to be "helped". There is a HUGE industry in "helping" these "weak women". Look at the child support industry. Every state in the U.S. takes a cut off the top of a non-custodial parent's payment. In Texas alone, it brings in A BILLION DOLLARS. I'm sorry, I find it hard to believe that Texan women need THAT much help sorting out thei…
/r/MensRights16/11/10 03:40 PM
3

I was nodding along with the article until I got to the paragraph where he castigates women who don't report as being "too stupid to know what to do on their own." Siiiiigh. My appreciation of his reasoned, balanced, informed, and thoughtful argument just flew out the window. He's not wrong. I just no longer respect him for feeling so desperate that he needs to make a cheap shot. For what it's worth, many women who have REALLY been raped are not stupid, they're just frightened and need to be rem…
/r/MensRights16/11/10 03:27 PM
2

I'm sorry that the boys must have tissue removed to stay alive. Denys-Drash syndrome is a rare and devastating disease. Denys-Drash syndrome involves a triad of symptoms - pseudohermaphrodism, where the testes remain in the body and become tumors, renal sclerosis, where the kidneys calcify, and in its last stage, aggresive renal failure. These symptoms result from gene mutations in the WT1 gene on the Y chromosome and the syndrome is not diagnosed by observations but by genetic testing. In Denys…
/r/MensRights16/11/10 03:16 PM
1

You know, I'm in a post-grad course, and there's a group of us who have been in the workforce and returned to school after having worked for a while. We mostly work collaboratively. We get together regularly to bounce ideas off each other, discuss our classes, and talk about how we feel about what we're learning, just like we would have done if we were in the workplace. We treat each other as colleagues, not students, and this is a normal, "team" atmosphere for us. You may see it as "charity" or…
/r/MensRights15/11/10 11:59 PM
2

:) Understood. How so?
/r/MensRights15/11/10 07:40 PM
8

I'm looking at your post and you have some grammar and spelling issues. Ask at least TWO trusted adults to read your paper over and catch your mistakes for you to avoid losing marks, ok? When is your due date? I'm a woman, and a tech writer, and I have a humanities degree. I WILL NOT WRITE THIS FOR YOU but I can help you put your ideas together in a way that won't get you a failing mark.
/r/MensRights15/11/10 06:04 PM
7

As a woman, I agree that women ARE the obstacle, but I don't agree that it's being done for CRUEL reasons. Society places a HUGE expectation on a woman to "be a good mom" by doing everything. If you share the work, they look at you badly. It's tough to stand up and say, "No, my husband/the baby's Dad has the right to do this too," because people DO talk behind your back. I am proud to share custody of my son. I tell people this, and they say, "What's wrong? Did you do something wrong to lose cus…
/r/MensRights15/11/10 05:59 PM
1

Ahem... really? Protip from an owner of a vagina: Avoid one-night stands. Actually converse with people in daylight. The crazy eyes tend to give it away. Edited to add: Gay men also have a high morbidity rate of Cluster B personality disorders, like BPD, NPD, and histrionic personality disorder, which tends to also lead to false accusations. So if you're sneaking off to the bathhouse or trolling Craigslist for cheap M2M blowjobs, I'd think twice about racking up false accusations THAT way, too!
/r/MensRights15/11/10 05:47 PM
2

What I wouldn't give to lend an editing hand to that dear boy's work. He's passionate, but it's hard to take him seriously without punctuation.
/r/MensRights15/11/10 05:46 PM
5

The article doesn't have enough details for me to safely judge if the penalties were sufficient. I don't think EITHER of them got enough time.
/r/MensRights15/11/10 05:29 PM
6

Without removal of the testes AND KIDNEYS, these children will not see the age of ten. I am very anti-alteration, and my own son isn't circumsized, but these children won't SURVIVE if they don't see immediate and severe surgery for a rare and extreme genetic disorder.
/r/MensRights15/11/10 01:07 AM
1

Not being American, or even familiar with the rules of evidence of other countries, I really couldn't speak with authority for anywhere else but here, but thank you for chiming in. I knew something didn't sound right about that statement!
/r/MensRights14/11/10 12:03 PM
1

Walking away and staying away is ALWAYS the better option on a personal level, and I agree with you 100%. I was speaking from a police/judicial perspective, and how things need to change to offer people in a situation the chance to get help and learn to mend their ways. I was in NO means telling anyone to give someone who gets physical a second chance, you are ABSOLUTELY correct in what you said about that.
/r/MensRights14/11/10 12:02 PM
2

I just think that people are people and everybody deserves the same amount of fairness, love, and freedom. Spending the last half decade at my SO's side while he fights to save his daughter in family court has taught me that it's not always that simple. Too many women believe that it's their birthright to suck on the WALLET of the man they're with, not the cock. Please, PLEASE sort it all out first before you sign so much as a lease, because that's when California's clock starts ticking. Everyth…
/r/MensRights14/11/10 12:56 AM
2

Hm, maybe that's the difference between you and I. I'm a one-shot... every dog gets ONE bite. I've known plenty of people who have cracked under extreme emotional duress. Mother Teresa took a bribe, after all, and was still canonized a saint. I'm more concerned that a person is grabbed at first opportunity and told in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that their first touch is their last and the next physical contact will result in jail time... be they male, female, or undecided.
/r/MensRights13/11/10 09:10 PM
1

Again, see my other reply. I worry that when it gets to the point of seeming repetitious and overwrought, that people might turn off their conscious minds to the possibility. And I KNOW false accusations are true - SO was falsely accused of DV even though his ex had been convicted herself, and later defrauded a DV shelter. My SO has been through this. Four years later, there are parents who won't let their little girl sleep over with SO's daughter. We KNOW. But this is a fast paced world and peo…
/r/MensRights13/11/10 08:57 PM
2

This is the heart of why false accusation posts NEED to be put on /r/MensRights, and I agree with it completely, but I'm concerned that the repetitious nature of the threads may desensitize people to the seriousness of the matter. How should we combat the possibility? The feminist side may say that this subReddit has a one-track mind, but there have been days when even I have gone, "Sheesh, it's overboard today," and I've sat in courtrooms long enough to know for a FACT how bad the false accusat…
/r/MensRights13/11/10 08:52 PM
2

I'm sorry that happened to you. It's a huge kick in the ass when she cheats and you still end up paying the bill. I really, honestly think that when there is adultery involved, then questions of alimony should be moot. If you want to go and troll for strange, that's your business, but don't expect your ex to pay for your dates!
/r/MensRights13/11/10 08:40 PM
2

If you take your time with that counselling... NOT a weekend, like they do in churches doing premarital counselling, but a good six months of weekly sessions, then you're BOUND to find any issues. I discussed this with my SO (whose ex has Borderline Personality Disorder and has him on the hook for over half his pay in alimony alone) and he agreed that if he'd been willing to do that therapy, he would definitely have realized that the BPDho was using him as a meal ticket all along.
/r/MensRights13/11/10 08:38 PM
3

UGH! YES! CREEPY! Strangers do not get to steal your attention beyond, "Do you have the time?" or, "Is that the escalator?" or somesuch.
/r/MensRights13/11/10 08:36 PM
1

I'm sorry. Please don't ever feel responsible for saving her from her consequences again. A person who loves you won't hurt you.
/r/MensRights13/11/10 08:34 PM
4

Upvote for that one!
/r/MensRights13/11/10 04:10 PM
3

Sue? That's why you do it anonymously. UPS sends LOADS of these kinds of packages, trust me. :) If I was this ticked off, I'd probably consider it a personal challenge to sleuth this one out, but not everybody can find that kind of time. You really have my condolences. Some people really are whackaloons, it's stunning when you run across them. Anyone willing to sleep his or her way to the top is going to be completely amoral, I'm really not surprised this is happening at all. I also envy your st…
/r/MensRights13/11/10 02:11 PM
1

Oh, I think she's going to love chatting with meeeeee......
/r/MensRights13/11/10 02:08 PM
3

Before you move in together, do a long course of pre-marital counselling. It needs to cover ALL issues - sex, relationships, religion, children, money and finances, gender roles, family of origin issues, friendship issues, career plans, educational plans, travel, plans for housing, where you see yourselves in 5, 10, 15 years... it needs to be FUCKING THOROUGH. You need to know the person you're getting with inside and out. NO SURPRISES. The very most important thing - NEVER marry someone who wan…
/r/MensRights13/11/10 02:00 PM
6

Is there anything you can do? Professionally, no. Privately... of course there is. Anonymously collect evidence of the multi-year-long sexual affair and blow up her marriage. Send it to her husband by UPS, signature required, at his workplace. Live by the sword, die by the sword. If she wants to cheat her way through life, perhaps she should feel some consequences for that.
/r/MensRights13/11/10 01:52 PM
9

In every type of crime imaginable, evidence of a past conviction, is not admissible, against the alleged perpetrator; this includes murder, torture, robbery, etc. It is in my jurisdiction.
/r/MensRights13/11/10 01:47 PM
5

I don't personally think it's misogynist to post/upvote stories about false rape accusations, I think it's an aspect of sex (and especially "hooking up") that men should always be aware of. But sometimes, I come into this subreddit and it's flooded with very repetitive posts, and I wonder if this is the best use of the energy of /r/MensRights. Just like I don't think it's the best use of /r/women to whine all the time, I don't think it's the best use of /r/MensRights to focus on the negatives, s…
/r/MensRights13/11/10 01:46 PM
0

I think this is pretty fake. I've known a couple of golddiggers and they don't really talk like this.
/r/MensRights13/11/10 01:42 PM
2

These women SHOULD be arrested and put through a batterer program. As should men, on their first charge. Nobody should carry a record on their first arrest in my opinion. I think education could go a long way in our culture to cut the horrible tendency people have to not control their tempers and lash out with their hands. It has been my personal observation that most relationship violence is mutual... nobody really knows who started it or how, things just seem to spin out of control. If we can …
/r/MensRights13/11/10 01:40 PM
2

There are a LOT of things a man can do to see his kids, many more options than most people could possibly imagine. Even without money, there are possibilities. The variable is in every individual's endurance... sometimes, the fight goes on so hard for so long that there are just no more PERSONAL resources left to fight with. We've been in it for many years, in a battle to maintain a 50% custody share for my SO's daughter against his ex-wife with mental illness who LOVES her false accusations and…
/r/MensRights13/11/10 01:36 PM
2

Excellent article. I wish every single judge in North America would spend a year following children through the social services system, seeing how truly, truly messed up the domestic violence situation really is. To this day, I NEVER say I support "stopping violence against women," because frankly, I don't. I support ending violence against EVERYONE - men, women, and children alike. Anyone who thinks that a woman can't be the perpetrator needs a serious reality check, and that article is a FINE …
/r/MensRights13/11/10 01:20 PM
5

I like to think of myself as reasonable, but I had a "creepy" experience last week. I was walking home from work at twilight and a much older, intoxicated man (probably in his 60's) on a scooter followed me the entire way, calling out to me, telling me to come home with him, making comments about my breasts (which he couldn't see, in my winter coat) and telling me what he was going to do to me when he got me home. This really rarely happens to me, I'm pretty tall and not a petite woman, I'm not …
/r/MensRights13/11/10 01:11 PM
2

Thanks. :) We take all the well wishes we can get in the hopes that one day, our girl just has the right to decide when/if she goes to visit her Mom, (i.e., that she can leave if there's no food in the house) and that she can come home when she's not comfortable anymore (i.e., when her mother has been passed out for 36 hours straight). I am passionate. I know the system sucks for women who aren't getting their support, I do, my own mom never saw a dime from my Dad, his substance abuse problems w…
/r/MensRights10/11/10 03:14 PM
1

We've retained a high-conflict lawyer and are trying to work through the process again, but even though we've had final orders for many years, the court has just recently returned us to mediation for the fifth time. We're actually not trying to reduce support at all, because we fear that his ex will die with less cash in hand then she is used to spending. We're willing to continue all alimony and (privately) wouldn't even bitch about CS, because frankly, it's only money and I can always go out a…
/r/MensRights09/11/10 07:12 PM
1

And they DO file. And the judge chastises them for knowingly changing their circumstances, attempting to cheat the system, and throws it out of the courtroom. There are rules and guidelines the judges are supposed to follow in these situations. I've sat in family court way too often over the last half decade and it's my observation that if it brings less money to the court system, those guidelines are generally ignored.
/r/MensRights09/11/10 11:04 AM
1

While that in particular is a real problem, it is commonplace for men who lose their jobs or become ill or disabled to be denied reductions in child support. The party line is that "children still need to eat" but if your old job paid $75,000 and your new job pays $35,000, your old child support was probably more than $35,000 and you are now going to be homeless.
/r/MensRights09/11/10 01:00 AM
5

I must assume that you've only been through the family court system as a female, or the advocate of a female. Try it as the partner/advocate of an abused male. It's like night and day. Suddenly, the fact that there are police reports about HER abusing HIM don't matter in the custody battle, that's "adult behavior" and not "parenting behavior". The fact that she claimed false domestic abuse (which the women's shelter caught on to WHEN SHE DEFRAUDED THEM OF FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS) or that she claim…
/r/MensRights08/11/10 11:29 PM
1

I'm not sure. I certainly didn't judge. I thought the "home" thing might be because of our son, but the crying thing was what made me wonder. Edited to add - Just spoke to his second wife. She reports that he's done the same thing with his subsequent children, so... I don't know if that influences it one way or the other, just another data point.
/r/MensRights08/11/10 11:16 PM
1

In normal situations, when a man is working, yes, he should pay child support for minor children. He should also get ample visitation to support the emotional and spiritual growth of those children and not just sign over his paycheck. I did get torqued off and probably went a bit overboard there... I just don't see how rushing a dying man to his deathbed to pay arrears to a woman when their mutual children are already adults is really all that helpful.
/r/MensRights08/11/10 11:11 PM
1

Didn't say that. I just don't think that someone with liver failure can reasonably be expected to pay child support at the same level that he could while he was working. Or someone who has suffered a year-long job loss. Or someone whose industry has disappeared forever and the only job he can get is in a call center. But the court won't adjust those numbers, come hell or high water, and it's time to start asking why. That's how these killer arrearages start building up, after all.
/r/MensRights08/11/10 09:26 PM
3

I just don't see the point of one government agency (CS enforcement) robbing the guy, forcing him to go to another agency (healthcare relief)... degrading his actual life and health in the process... shouldn't there be a coordination amongst the agencies when it's medically proven that the guy is on his deathbed and the bureaucracy is doing nothing except speed up the time frame in which the taxpayers will have to take responsibility since it's clear the MOTHER can't take care of her own childre…
/r/MensRights08/11/10 06:03 PM
10

I hear that a LOT. I'm sorry.
/r/MensRights08/11/10 06:00 PM
9

Here's my issue - if you have a child, and the other parent disappears (and I mean this for both genders) are you prepared to raise that child? My mother was raised by my grandfather when my grandmother died young. My ex-husband and I agreed to parent 50/50 and just spend our money on our own parenting time and call it even. If either of us, god forbid, died, no white knight will swoop in and magically give us cash, it will all be our responsibilities. I have a cousin whose husband dropped dead …
/r/MensRights08/11/10 05:27 PM
11

You know, as a single mom who just got off her ass and GOT A FUCKING JOB and didn't rely on my ex to give me money to support my son, I look around at this cottage industry of women asking the court to suck the cocks of their ex-husbands and find it gross. Deciding to be a stay at home anything was STUPID. Sure, the child is half someone else's responsibility, but in the end, it's YOUR kid and YOUR life and if YOU choose to live in poverty, then suck it up princess, THAT WAS YOUR CHOICE. There a…
/r/MensRights08/11/10 05:18 PM
23

They NEVER issue consequences against women. In the U.S., 94% of women who are issued CS payments are in arrears. But you don't hear about THAT on Oprah, oh hell no.
/r/MensRights08/11/10 05:13 PM
3

Tell him to get a damn job then! Sheesh!
/r/MensRights08/11/10 05:07 PM
3

I understand you're in a frustrating situation, but this article specifically references American law, which is much more messed up than the laws of the E.U.
/r/MensRights08/11/10 05:06 PM
25

The odds of you getting child support from your ex-WIFE are just about nil. They won't put arrears on women.
/r/MensRights08/11/10 05:05 PM
11

So, riddle me this, Batman, when he doesn't get healthcare and dies, who's paying for the kids to eat THEN?
/r/MensRights08/11/10 05:04 PM
6

Not a direct corollary, but, women who are in domestic violence situations with men often leave the relationship with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. My husband (a healthy male brought up in a normal family) was verbally, emotionally, and physically abused by his ex-wife, who had borderline personality disorder, and he also has been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder subsequent to his divorce. (Yes, he is receiving help, if you're curious. :) Nobody deserves abuse, and owning a penis …
/r/MensRights08/11/10 04:29 PM
2

Sadly, that was a VERY long email that pretty much negated my life experience: my ex and I had an inkling through our marriage that we'd coupled too soon and our marriage would not last. We studied. We took different jobs. We traveled. We even (GASP!) OPENED OUR MARRIAGE TO OTHER PARTNERS. It didn't matter. Fundamentally, we had coupled too soon and no further adjustments could remedy the fact that two good, loving, caring, honorable people, who made an awesome kid out of it who they loved a lot…
/r/MensRights08/11/10 12:50 AM
6

DAMN STRAIGHT! I don't care where your plumbing is, if you can get your kids for any amount of time, spend time making memories!
/r/MensRights08/11/10 12:43 AM
2

We really had no trouble finding products we liked. Our carseat was tan and khaki. The diaper bag we both carried for years was a sueded gym bag of sand, khaki and brown with a plastic liner with a very small classic Winnie the Pooh applique, it looked like a high-end gym bag. (Baby gift from my grandmother.) If my ex wanted something, there were stores in town he favored, and even then, there was the Net if he didn't like the local selection. Personally, I didn't care as long as the kid was cov…
/r/MensRights08/11/10 12:13 AM
3

Huh? I still don't care what he makes. It's been years, that would be bizarre. He has a new wife, more kids, and a house in another county, getting all up in his stuff after all this time would be really weird. I have my own job, my own husband, the son that we share, and another child that's shared with another parent. No money has ever changed hands between my ex and I except for the first year we were separated and we had to divide our joint tax return, and last year when when I sponsored his…
/r/MensRights07/11/10 11:53 PM
1

Not true. The only difference is that if your'e married, you're assumed to be the father automatically, by statute. If unmarried, it waits until she files for child support, but quite frankly, she will have arranged the paperwork before she went into labor and will only have to notify the court of the birth once the leaves the hospital. Either way, the man in question needs to question paternity instantly the moment they discover the possibility of another father, even if it's just a rumor or if…
/r/MensRights07/11/10 11:47 PM
3

We never joined our finances. As long as he covered his half of the bills, whatever money he made was his business.
/r/MensRights07/11/10 05:51 PM
1

His insurance cards were due to be renewed, and school registration needed to be done by the last day of March. Until the agreement was filed and processed, neither of us could go and fill out the rest of his paperwork.
/r/MensRights07/11/10 04:58 PM
2

We got together when we were way too young, still in high school. He grew to a person who likes to feel like the head of the household with his partner taking care of the domestics. I grew up to be more egalitarian and independent. I don't want to be a stay at home Mom, I have always worked and usually outearned him. I wanted someone to be more of a partner; I like getting dirty doing outside chores like cleaning the gutter but darn straight I want help with the laundry too. Oh, and I only wante…
/r/MensRights07/11/10 04:45 PM
2

Yeah, that's why we split the assets and the debt equally, we share custody, and nobody gives anyone any child or spousal support. Because I'm so damn selfish and conniving. So glad the article cleared that up for me. I should call my ex and warn him before he brings our son over for lunch.
/r/MensRights07/11/10 04:35 PM
2

No, he worked downtown, near the courthouse, and I worked in a neighboring suburb an hour away at the time. We'd already sat down and put together all the financials and made up our custody schedule, and signed the papers. I just needed him to take it in on his lunch hour.
/r/MensRights07/11/10 04:33 PM
7

I can only speak to my own experience. My ex-husband is a good father, but we were a poor fit. He moved out in early January, and I asked him to file for divorce. By March, nothing had been done, and it jeopardized our son's heath care status and custody. While we agreed on those things and still agree, they DO have to be entered with the court, and you kinda have to SHOW UP to do that, so I went to the court and paid the filing fee. So... bang, according to the stats, our mutual decision is now…
/r/MensRights06/11/10 10:51 PM
2

If it's a good report, and gives people a voice, then no, her motivation doesn't matter at all. I'm just concerned that she'll invite men onto the panel, and ambush them with a more feminist and blaming group of questioners, like Dr. Phil frequently does to his male guests who have been victimized by female-biased institutions. (His last show on Parental Alienation Syndrome was a travesty that should never have been aired.)
/r/MensRights06/11/10 03:00 PM
1

I've observed this myself in men who are nightwaking with their infants, holding them close, bathing them, inhaling their smell. Their hormones DO seem to change. My ex did half of the work with my son, and he did go through a postpartum shift. He didn't say it was depression, but it was a change. He wanted to be home more, and that was NOT like him at all. He cried, and that was also not like him. I'd seen him sleep deprived before (especially coming off very long work projects) and they didn't…
/r/MensRights06/11/10 01:15 PM
1

That's a good one too... nice and safe for work, because there's nothing inherently sexual about a spine. I like it a lot.
/r/MensRights05/11/10 10:35 PM
0

I like that, it's got a lot of weight and it's well insulting. Nice one.
/r/MensRights05/11/10 10:35 PM
14

Reading these comments, I find it interesting that the article resonates strongly with people who grew up inside that experience, and everyone else seems to be discrediting it.
/r/MensRights05/11/10 10:33 PM
9

Oprah is probably only doing this now because her ratings are in the toilet and she doesn't care if she loses market share. She's been abusing and neglecting this part of society for long enough, it costs her nothing to toss an entire half of humanity a little bone at this point. hates Oprah and her pandering to the masses
/r/MensRights05/11/10 10:00 PM
3

Sorry to double post, but I don't think there's a double standard, politics has always been about saying the shittiest thing you can come up with about your opponent, and if it's unwarranted, indefensible, and below the belt, that just makes it a better insult. I don't think that's right at all, but nobody seems interested in changing the status quo.
/r/MensRights05/11/10 09:58 PM
-3

Interesting side question. And please assume you're talking to me or another rational woman, and not a weepy PMSing chick or hardcore feminist. When you're trying to reverse the insult, "Man up!", do you just reply, "No, you man up!" or do you say, "No, you woman up!" The second one sounds so awkward, it just doesn't have the same bite, but it's not correct grammarwise.
/r/MensRights05/11/10 09:47 PM
4

Hasn't everybody been hearing it's 5 years away for their entire reproductive lives? My MOTHER told me she heard that when she was younger, for pete's sakes.
/r/MensRights05/11/10 09:41 PM
2

I posted on that thread, but it was well over 200 posts with excellent advice by then, so it's probably well lost. I'll say it again over here. My advice would be the same to any man, woman, or 12+ year old child. Nobody deserves to be abused. Absolutely nobody. If you are being hit, hurt, yelled at, and tormented, you need to spend every day making your plan to leave. He's damn lucky she didn't rat him out to the cops the FIRST time he hit her and at this point, if she turns on him after his hi…
/r/MensRights05/11/10 09:37 PM
1

Before I answer: 1) Do you have children? How old? 2) Have you ever been in a committed relationship? How long?
/r/MensRights05/11/10 06:37 PM
3

I think it's oversimplifying it to say it's ONLY about child support. There are an awful lot of men who have been trapped into the role of biological father without any consultation whatsoever. Women have a lot of options: there's abortion, there's adoption, both before birth, shortly after birth, and even later, and then, if she's a real bitch, she can abandon the child with family and just fuck off to Buffalo, like a lot of skanky women do. Women who give babies up for adoption get to be "birt…
/r/MensRights05/11/10 02:51 PM
2

Wow, what a publicity whore.
/r/MensRights05/11/10 02:45 PM
2

I am all for freedom of speech. I enjoy a good debate, and will generally defend a person's right to hold and express opinions as long as they can be educated, eloquent, and respectful in their expression... ...but it really irritates me when I get to the end of an article and find out that there was NO CONTENT except WAAAAAHHHHH. Some clear description of the events or articles that led to the deletion would have been appropriate IMO.
/r/MensRights05/11/10 02:40 PM
3

Family courts think having a penis is a capital crime. Even with a lawyer AND an accountant, he could still walk out of there having NO assets, ALL the debt, shortselling the house, and having to pay MUCH more than $200 a month in spousal for MUCH longer than he anticipated. If it funnels more money into the court system, that's how the judgment will fall. I didn't intend to get so longwinded, and I DID advise him to get both a lawyer and an accountant's advice if things get rough, but if he and…
/r/MensRights05/11/10 11:54 AM
1

I know lawyers are scary expensive, but there's another kind of professional that could help you out for a much smaller cost. Check the yellow pages in your area for a "forensic accountant". It may be five or six hundred dollars but you'll get a MUCH clearer picture of your financial situation and he or she will probably be able to work up scenarios based on your local laws that I haven't been able to think of.
/r/MensRights05/11/10 11:32 AM
3

I think that's incredibly unfair. You don't see that in any other kind of contract law, but the family court plays by its own rules and they never seem to follow the laws of rationality or reason.
/r/MensRights05/11/10 11:29 AM
1

Only in the world of the multiple-choice test. If I went to my best friends and told them what happened and they gave me hugs and asked no questions... I'd be horrified because I would know they thought I was lying. This is also a question that is context and culturally sensitive.
/r/MensRights05/11/10 02:43 AM
1

1) Write it into your agreement that if she cohabitates with another man, then her spousal support will cease. Period. Don't flex on this one, and take it to court if necessary. This is your right and even the cost of paying a lawyer now will be returned to you in not having to pay out spousal to a woman with a boyfriend making twice as much cash in the future. 2) She's not entitled to any future earnings. She can believe what she wants, but that's not legally supported. Generally Accepted Accou…
/r/MensRights05/11/10 02:32 AM
2

Okay, and I'm sorry I tweaked you with the pronoun thing. I've seen a lot of stuff go down in my life, and very little of it on Reddit. My SO has been fighting custody for years, so I understand how courts and penises don't always mix. Don't use tax assessments. The money the government wants to take from you and the money that the MARKET will bear have no relation to each other. You need to work with your real debt and real market values to avoid getting screwed. I'm concerned about this whole …
/r/MensRights05/11/10 12:15 AM
1

I am working hard to bridge the gap in explanation here, not as a woman, but as a person who neither comes from the very anti-socialist American position or the very pro-socialist Swedish position. Here, we are balanced about halfway between. When it comes to services we consider important, we don't complain about the taxes required to pay for them or the effort it takes to work to make the money to pay for those taxes. How many rational people in your country are complaining about how much they…
/r/MensRights04/11/10 11:53 PM
6

I understand that, I'm not saying to call your friends liars, I just don't understand why the natural inclination to get more information from a friend in trouble HAS TO equal rape denier?
/r/MensRights04/11/10 10:24 PM
9

It's a really hard question, you seem to have to answer it one way or not at all. I would have interpreted it the same way as the OP, and I'm not only a sex-positive woman and a mother, I've also been raped. I really don't think the guy did anything out of the ordinary by wanting to know more about the situation.
/r/MensRights04/11/10 10:18 PM
8

Well, I've actually been raped, myself, when I was young. The friend who found me bleeding on my front porch DID ask me questions, and I'm grateful she did! I felt guilty and ashamed. I thought I made the guy attack me. I thought that I must have been a really bad fuck to make him cut me like that. If she hadn't pressed me to REALLY tell her what was going on, I wouldn't have gotten medical treatment at all, because I felt so stupid for taking a ride home from a guy that I really thought it was …
/r/MensRights04/11/10 10:15 PM
3

Re: the pronoun game - I see what you did there. Not exactly honest. Maybe other posters won't notice, but YOU know what you did. Regardless, I think that splitting in a marriage should be fair to both sides, so, onwards and upwards. Total Liabilites of Marriage - 27,000 + 10,000 + 20,000 = 57,000; Total Assets of Marriage = 16,000 Notice I added in the ten grand, because yes, any cost that is required to make the home sellable MUST be capitalized (added in) to its cost, and therefore, your debt…
/r/MensRights04/11/10 10:00 PM
2

See my post above. There's asking questions and there's interrogation.
/r/MensRights04/11/10 09:44 PM
14

But there are things I need to know! Like... was it just now, do I need to take you to the hospital? Was it by your sister when you were a child, do you need a friend to help you find an "incest survival and recovery" group? Do you think you're pregnant and need counselling from Planned Parenthood? And... what if the story unravels altogether, and she's lying? I've known people who have done that, too, and it's sickening. I'm a good friend and a warm ear and I make a mean cup of soup, but I'm no…
/r/MensRights04/11/10 09:42 PM
50

Unquestioning belief is never the right answer, and it doesn't even matter what the question was.
/r/MensRights04/11/10 09:24 PM
12

I got busted down in another thread for suggesting prenups for residents of Quebec, so I now know they're not legal there. My suggestion would be, then, to ask for a full police and credit check before you move in with anyone, male or female, and repeat those checks every 6 months. Do not move in with someone unemployed, do not date/live with/marry someone whose earning power will not equal your own, and do not join finances. Never consent to a voluntary job loss, remark frequently and loudly to…
/r/MensRights04/11/10 09:20 PM
1

Serious question - If they've decided as a culture that it's more important to give both parents equal time to raise their young children than to amass global influence, is that wrong?
/r/MensRights04/11/10 09:14 PM
0

I agree, I wasn't being totally clear. From a Microeconomics standpoint, you're right, there's a forced loss of efficiency. It increases the opportunity cost of production by increasing the resources (the labor) that the owner has to put in to the company. I can completely understand why The Economist has a problem with the policy. I just thought the headline seemed uncharacteristically sociological as opposed to economical.
/r/MensRights04/11/10 06:39 PM
6

That's an excellent program. My ex-husband took his full share of paternity leave when our son was born, (I actually went back to work before he did) and while it didn't set him back careerwise, it was difficult financially. The Swedish policy seems much more flexible and financially balanced. I find it strange that The Economist called it "forced fatherhood," since nobody is being forced to take the time, it's just a lost opportunity if it isn't used. Perhaps someone else sees an angle that I d…
/r/MensRights04/11/10 04:38 PM
1

I had to look around for a minute. Am I really in the Men's Rights forum? Automatically assuming that another man is a molester is not right. It's normal to be all Papa Bear about your kids, but you can RUIN a man forever with a little fear and false information. I know his username is crazyex, but if he does that and he's wrong, who's the crazy ex THEN?
/r/MensRights04/11/10 02:19 PM
2

So do I. Some days it feels like all I can do is teach my daughter to mow the lawn and my son to wash the dishes.
/r/MensRights04/11/10 02:09 PM
1

The thing that really fucks up this debate for me is the issue of the biological necessity of actually gestating and delivering the child. I was one of the unlucky ones who had physical problems (that I'll politely keep to myself, since this is a Men's forum after all) that were life-threatening; far beyond the norm of an "average" pregnancy. And then there's the fact that technically, abortion negates a human (not a murder exactly, it's still a parasite at that stage, but it's hard to define). …
/r/MensRights04/11/10 01:30 PM
4

Ugh, I hate that. We were supposed to be fighting for a chance to be equal, not a chance to turn into the oppressors. It's disgusting. On the bright side, now I just hate everybody, it saves me a lot in postage.
/r/MensRights04/11/10 01:23 PM
3

I understand your concern and frustration, and you've got a lot of issues running around in your head. Panic will not help your children or your situation, so let's try to sort this out. When your children told you, how did THEY seem about it? Nonchalant, scared, worried? Has your four year old changed in behavior in any way, bedwetting, nightmares, hygiene or food problems? Other kids bopping along like usual? Grades still good, still social? Don't pump them for information, that's very unfair …
/r/MensRights04/11/10 01:17 PM
3

WHAT? HOW DID THIS END UP IN A CORNER OF MEN'S RIGHTS??? Everybody should be shouting about this, because it's screwing up the sex life of everyone it covers! This researcher goes into great detail about how boys are prepared to receive sex with enthusiasm and joy, and girls are prepared to receive sex with worry and dread. And then, surprise! Their subsequent experiences show that men enjoy sex much more than women do, based on the stupidly unnecessary training they received as young teens. It'…
/r/MensRights03/11/10 08:59 PM
1

If you've met my husband's ex-wife, you'd want to die too.
/r/MensRights03/11/10 08:48 PM
1

Borderline Personality Disorder for the lose.
/r/MensRights03/11/10 08:47 PM
8

This is FANTASTIC news. Even though this bell can never be unrung, hopefully the public nature of his vindication will go a long way in convincing the public of his innocence. As a rape survivor, I VEHEMENTLY HATE women who lie about rape, and as the wife of a man and the mother of a son, not to mention a true believer in real equality, I spit on any bitch miserable enough to cry rape when she's just whore who regrets having to do the walk of shame.
/r/MensRights02/11/10 09:59 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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