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Emergency-Feed8216 Archive

View 4 posts and 2,125 comments by Emergency-Feed8216 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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166

You don't want them totally hairless either because waxing/shaving pubes too close to the ass risks deadly MRSA infection (antibiotic resistant staph). https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19931620/bikini-waxing-dangers/ Some are silent carriers. The CDC declared MRSA sexually transmissible. Scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 04:36 AM
14

Hmm. The Take= Screenprism= Matt Minhoff: https://nl.marketscreener.com/business-leaders/Matt-Minoff-07NK87-E/biografie/ I checked the production team because there was something a little off about the presentation, a bit like chiding the French Resistance not to use the term "Collaborateur" by pretending the stakes were just bitchy political name-calling and not disenfranchisement, death and treason. Case in point, is the real problem with Fifty Shades the conceit of the protagonist's specialne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 05:35 PM
7

The new film Spencer centers on that "recycling" theme over a span of six centuries as emblematic of ab.use. Don't watch the trailer, it doesn't do the film justice and is a spoiler. Just watch the film.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 04:19 PM
21

I may borrow that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 03:59 PM
6

So true. It did have the effect of shaking up beauty standards which were incredibly rigid for a long time even if the motivation was shady. Now they heavily scout African models because they bypass BMI rules or the skinny ban. Meaning they can still get incredibly skinny models but because people of African heritage tend to have much better bone density than white, the girls won't technically be underweight. This also has the upside of shaking up rigid beauty standards but, again, the girls on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 06:42 AM
3

Yikes, I'm the typo queen. Can you believe I worked as an editor? Obviously not a copy editor. 🤓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 04:59 PM
1

I understand your point. I think the comments questioning objectification should have been at most chiding rather than scandalized and preachy. But I also understand why eye for an eye stuff isn't optimal either politically or personally. I'm not going to pillory disabled men for being not conventionally attractive. Unless the guy in question objectifies or, say, advocates rape, then he's cruising for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 04:56 PM
13

Child molestation is bad enough today. Imagine how bad it was in feudal times with no real laws to restrain it and when women and children were voiceless property?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 04:47 PM
29

It means the girls aren't even spared rape by the men in their own families. The proverb was a chapter header in radfem Susan Brownmiller's seminal book Against Our Will: Men, Women andd Rape published in the 70s. The proverb can obviously be true for any girl regardless of whether she's considered conventionally "beautiful." All children are pretty anyway. The proverb is basically saying that what is socially viewed as a blessing can easily be a curse. This fits my experience. I used to model i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 04:32 PM
18

An old Norse proverb goes something like, The fjord has no bottom/The river has no end/The mountain has no summit/And pretty girls have no kinsmen Perks, sure. At a huge price. I know some of Gerald Marie's victims-- not the women in the Sixty Minutes profile but others who are considering coming forward. https://youtu.be/yl_FXbNrq9o
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 06:18 AM
27

It can happen to anyone. DV expert Lenore Walker even found that dv victims were prone to have higher than average pre-abuse self esteem. More than average had careers. So bear in mind many ab.users prefer tiger skin rugs to bunny foot keychains as trophies. The vetting can never stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 06:06 AM
25

Watch The Sopranos again. That's the entire arc. Personality disordered mobster goes to therapy and gets Prozac. The Prozac helps him feel less anxious about serial mu.rder. Then he plays back the psychobabble he gleans from the therapist at his own victims and cries over duckies and horsies. He develops a treatment for addiction that involves drowning the addict in his own blood. The end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 05:46 AM
1

I understand if it's just based on looks and the guy's a saint. I actually was being mean because I thought he was part of that Guerilla Skeptics editing front for the chemical industry (among other industries) whose affiliated groups exploded with major rape and harassment scandals several years ago. Before that the group was engaging in some pretty horrifying Islamaphobic rhetoric so I'm suspecting oil industry ties as well, maybe arms, definitely big biotech and probably anyone who pays. Anyw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 05:36 AM
0

That's the issue I have with Wikimedians (editiors)-- edits are dominated by corporate front groups. No one makes money directly but many get paid by third parties to guard articles and promote commercial propaganda over inconvenient fact. I learned this as an editor for an environmental health publication for twelve years. Many illustrious science groups have tried to add peer reviewed risk data to, say, articles on blockbuster pesticides, etc., only to have those edits disappear within hours i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 04:00 AM
1

Nope as a verb... love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 03:39 AM
-1

I'm at minus 8 lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 03:37 AM
14

Yep, this sounds precisely like the kind of thing married/committed cheaters say to side dishes to garner pity and get a proxy to triangulate against a partner, as in "I'm trapped and can't leave her because she'll never let me see the kids again!" It probably worked so well on side pieces he thought he'd keep it up long after his ex kicked him to the curb. Ask them what they did to lose custody since that bar is scarily high. Not even dv convictions get custody removed. Men have to be rampaging…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 07:23 AM
40

Still waters run dupe. I dated a few of those. I'm forty-something so I can report what happened to them years later. Boyfriend A: Used to jet set but now works as an obscure commercial photographer-- apparently not obscure enough for his tastes so he changed his name. He was once drop-dead beautiful but has lost all his hair. He never talked about his childhood but I know the story because his brother-- who was bipolar, talked a lot and committed suicide a few years ago-- dated a close friend o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 07:04 AM
43

Yeah, don't talk to the cheaters again... but forward all texts to their partners. Edit: tYpOs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 04:41 AM
-12

This guy looks like Tom Hardy in a fat suit and latex bald cap making an SNL appearance in a skit about negging OLD douches. Come to think of it, I'd love to see a skit like that (with Kate McKinnen in a fat suit and fake neck beard playing the perv's brother).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 04:37 AM
1

Masked dependency is a common trait in the most lethal ab.users so it's not always easy to just leave. It's not commonly recognized that victims of cheating frequently suffer from Stockholm syndrome and terror paralysis but it makes sense the closer you look at the dynamics. According to dv researcher Donald Dutton, who spent decades studying ba.tterers like bugs in prison settings, identified some common if not entirely universal traits in ab.users such as "masked dependency." When I first read…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 07:51 PM
7

I get the hypocrisy of viewers. SATC always featured a lot of gross-out sexual themes so the fact that viewers found a rather chaste lesbian sex scene "vulgar" is hilarious. But I thought the entire series was just a delivery system for choicy-choice libfem Pickme-ism anyway. For instance, like Shonda Rimes, Darren Starr seems bent on advocating and normalizing cheating. It's some kind of fixation. Because I was an advocate for dv survivors and virtually all ba.tterers cheat to disempower and tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 05:43 PM
30

You can always tell when the guy's wife dresses him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 05:17 PM
4

I think you'rre right that many ab.users can seem intense while in the honeymoon stage. I would still warn thar these guys can seem very sincere and that appearance of sincerity can come in different intensities depending at how good the predator is at mirroring. I recommend reading Dutton's clinical profiles of ab.usive men. I think I remember Dutton as the source of the descrption of ba.tterers as having quasi-split personalities where they know what they do but, at the same time, have deeply …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 07:04 AM
5

I think I once checked the source on the "deluge" quote but the fact my mother once attributed it to Napoleon got glued in my head. My mum was pre-Google. Many people with clinical personaliry disorders cheat...and defend cheating (found this study interesting: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S019188691730404X). Speaking of which, Esther Perel is sort of the current premier cheater apologist. She'd make a great emissary of Ashley Madison. She caught the attention of the dv …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 04:44 AM
48

How should a straight guy in a relationship with a woman act around female coworkers? Exactly like he would with gay male coworkers: Carefully and with an eye to sexual politics and individual dynamics. First do no harm, second maintain boundaries. Members of marginalized groups who are serious about their careers and have healthy boundaries themselves will appreciate it. No sexual banter or non-PC quips even if the coworker "goes there." No discussing personal details of sex and relationships s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 05:54 AM
3

I knew one guy who initiated divorce against a serial cheater. He found out from the wife of one of his ex's married school parking lot hookups. But other than that one case, nope. I've also never known a monkey branching guy who didn't go bug-eyed and implode when his ex dupe quckly moved on and was fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 05:32 AM
102

As a former advocate for dv survivors, I can bet the same men swearing they "never loved" or hate their partners now were the same ones clinging from ledges crying out their undying love at the beginning... and meaning it with all their souls. These same men displaying utter disregard for current or recent ex partners might still stalk or harm those partners if these women attempt to move on. So I would warn that only time, observation and careful vetting can weed out the dangerous elements. It …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 05:39 PM
10

I might suggest dating 7-8 years younger since this is the average gap in life expectancy between men and women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:06 AM
26

My sons were taught this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 04:34 AM
10

His Royal Scrotery, if you please. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 04:33 AM
26

Never date your employers or your teachers, COs, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 04:03 PM
219

He's 58 and doesn't know he's the asshole?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 04:00 PM
8

It is a relief. It's what's good about college towns. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. None of the people who leapt on the character-trashing bandwagon ever left.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 03:56 PM
2

tYpO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 03:37 PM
30

I lived with a much older guy my first year of college. He was in the physics program and had a very covert way of humble bragging about his prodigious genius but was funny and looked like a young Tom Hanks so I overlooked a lot. The relationship was generally peaceful and supportive but there was this unspoken sense that I was "lucky" to be with such a prize. He'd grown up rich and in powerful circles, went to the best schools, etc., which he, in his sort of alt-rock-blasé way, pretended meant …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 07:32 AM
10

Dried up old fuck, looked like an undead Martin Short.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 06:14 AM
28

They're all Johns. I heard a similar story except the guy kept a vault of GBH-fueled graphic sex tapes to blackmail women with. The women probably could only imagine what might be on the tapes since they'd blacked out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 06:08 AM
74

Many creeps with pregnancy fetishes out there as I recall from being pregnant but met a few haters, including my demonic former boss who was later credibly accused of raping children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 02:10 AM
191

And those moments when married men ask you for advice on what to get their wives as an approach to hit on you. Vomit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:54 PM
37

Bleah, Pandora-- where we got my temporary stand-in wedding ring. The cz popped out in three days so it wasn't even good as a dress-up toy for the kids. But it was only while our real rings were being upgraded for our anniversary by a legendary 5th generation goldsmith who also makes sculptural installations to protest wars of aggression and the dictatorship. The original rings were as nice as my husband could get when we were young and starting out, but we wanted heirloom quality so the kids wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:48 PM
11

"Really, really great relationship"... She needs therapy and he belongs in jail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:58 PM
10

And were syphilitic, then went nuts from the requisite mercury salve treatment. Good times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:56 PM
11

Oops, I wrote something similar before seeing your comment. Except the global average is that women live 7-8 years longer. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:54 PM
28

Hmmm, except I think women should choose men 7-8 years younger since men's average lifespans are 7-8 years shorter. Imagining any woman marries for love, who wants to spend 10,15, 20 yrs widowed? I worked with three fabulous women who were dating/engaged to/married to men exactly 7 years younger. They were sheepish about the gap at first because of all the cracks and jibes they got from coworkers until I mentioned the life expectancy gap, then the couples happily bragged about planning to die th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:48 PM
8

🤣😂😶
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:27 PM
18

You mean "Divorced"(😉😉🤫🤫) forty year old. (we-sleep-in-separate-bedrooms-till-the-youngest--graduates-we're-separated-but-still-living-together-for-the-kids-just-for-the-kids-problems-with-filing-loveless-marriage-she-doesn't-understand-me-I-married-too-young(33)-she-baby-trapped-me...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:26 PM
8

Don't forget "blasé." 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:15 PM
2

Thank God for brazen women. 😉 I don't even like having my real name called out for a Starbucks order.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:54 AM
3

Higher loyalty is one of the elements of neutralization. Changing the identity of the victim to cast the victim as deserving of punishment is sort of next level and the really chilling factor in ab.use, rape and mu.rder. someone (😉) recently sent me this as an example of mu.rderous neutralization: https://youtu.be/ThUc_Xjc0Ss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:49 AM
1

She was clearly upset by something creepy and wanted to share on the assumption she's not the only one who's experienced this. It's consensus building which is political, not petty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 02:31 AM
21

I think she was brave. I've always been too private to go public with things like this so I appreciate the balls-out types who warn others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 09:11 PM
35

I worked in fashion, media and design where work parties are like drunken bacchanals even in BFE (maybe especially in secondary markets because everyone's trying too hard to pretend it's NY, etc.). I've seen people wearing everything-- spangled bustiers, you name it. The guy was just grooming her for the future when he'd expect her to stay home in sweats while he hit the town and bonked his coworkers. I know so many women who got this pressure early in dating their eventual husbands. All these m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 09:09 PM
48

I think it's a lot sicker than that-- it's Madonna-whore shit. If she'd stayed with him, she would have eventually caught him covered in cum at his laptop with a credit card in his hand watching degrading cam porn or with his dick up the arses of coworkers or Craigslist hookers spackled in pancake makeup and wearing fingerless lace gloves, bondage bustiers from Fredericks of Hollywood and CFM pumps. This type wants a partner to play the role of dull-colored female nest mate to his peacock so he'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 08:59 PM
22

Shame is not so much an emotion as a fear/helplessness/grief response when one receives a message that one has departed from societal rules/norms and is in danger of being cast out of the "tribe." The grief is anticipation of being cast out because back in prehistoric times, being pushed from the social fold meant sure death. It's a hardwired, lizard brain reaction. Shame is important for preventing crimes and offenses against the innocent. Shame makes the events memorable so they're not repeate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 07:48 PM
2

Pigs have nearly human eyes. I can't say that about many of the men I had the misfortune of working with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 06:11 PM
3

I can't match her delivery in text. Just desserts for a cheater to be married to a comic genius knowing she has all her friends and random bystanders doubled over on the floor laughing at him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 06:09 PM
10

True. Cheaters are liars who lie out of their lying lie holes and then lie some more. I worked in a field filled with them. One friend undergoing an interminable divorce from a serial cheater (and embezzler) asked him why he didn't just pull down his pants and fart in morse code since she'd be more likely to believe that than anything that came out of his mouth. Also, most of the time when men report "dead marital bedroom," this would likely be news to the wife. If there really is a separation h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 06:05 AM
46

Big, pointy headed fap-zombie-eyed ick-boy. Are those his real eyes or horror FX?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 05:34 AM
3

Ted Bundy's prison groupies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 04:22 AM
2

Attraction to not just ki.llers or violent perps but also liars, cheats, thieves, general ne'er do wells.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 04:21 AM
47

Can't help but wonder about the pathology of women who'd knowingly go for a married douche for any reason beyond being strapped for cash. Is it like hybristophilia?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 07:15 AM
90

Frat house of filthy pigs situation ... the visuals! 😂🤣😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 07:08 AM
17

Thus began the traditional Fleming evocation. The rite repeats each full moon cycle or upon viewing the words "ethical non-monogamy" or "poly." Then we all contort against walls in the tortured "mating in captivity" dance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 07:00 AM
4

De Beauvior and Sartre passed teenage girls back and forth as fuck dolls, then mocked the girls brutally in their letters to each other. When I read Second Sex in high school, I missed the fact that it dripped with contempt and victim-blaming misogyny. And no wonder. She was the quasi Ghislaine Maxwell of her time. I recently spoke to a former model I know about her near-rape experience with the infamous head of Elite in France. She was in the midst of thinking about and processing how female bo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 05:15 AM
31

Go with the ick. Let the ick be your guide. If you put lipstick on a pig, it's still ick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:41 AM
5

If the studies are done by male researchers, they'll report that adulterers/cheaters are devastatingly handsome with dashing debonaire flair and big dongs. In reality, you'd hardly be able to visualize most of them having sex and wiuldn't want to. It always surprised me to find out who the adulterous douches at work were. Like rapists, most of them seem asexual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:39 AM
32

In case I miss one of these poly posts, would someone please post the Chris Fleming Polyamorous song in my stead? https://youtu.be/DTsdKycVZZ4
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:31 AM
21

He's not physically ab.usive because he drinks. He drinks so he can be physically ab.usive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:26 AM
8

I'll devour the article when published.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:20 AM
18

He looks a bit like the pedo ki.ller character in Lovely Bones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:16 AM
3

Yes, dick causes the doldrums. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 02:46 AM
1

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c9/2e/db/c92edb01618236425fc55972485d959a.png
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 02:45 AM
3

To quote a scrote who would know all about scrotery, "Everything is permitted the hero." --Jean-Paul Sartre. That's why the worst pedos are so often found in helping/salvational roles in society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 07:24 AM
8

Behaviorism 101: people only really hate another person/group after they've already done something terrible to them. So in my estimation, wife-haters are typically ba.tterers or would-be ba.tterers. 50% of men will at some point become physically violent towards an intimate partner, but there are all sorts of sub-violent behaviors that qualify as ba.ttering, such as financial ab.use (a form of violence), infidelity (it's never "just cheating" and typically involves robbing partners of consent, e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 07:19 AM
7

Yeah, the expression "rule of thumb" has a terrible history.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 07:05 AM
38

Please do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 07:01 AM
18

I just can't get over the name. Never mind that I always thought the book was an allegory about Cuba.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 07:01 AM
5

"Yes, Nigel..." 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 06:54 AM
11

I agree. I react really strongly to spaces that rise above artifice. Also functional spaces where there's love in the details such as in Amish architecture (never mind their marriages) and mid- century industrial furniture and mechanical devices. I love artist-created spaces like Frida Kahlo's studio and Alexander Calder's house where every little thing was made by a member of the family. https://improvisedlife.com/2019/09/26/visit-alexander-calders-alive-colorful-homes-via-pedro-guerrero/ https…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 06:47 AM
15

I half understand these guys from a socialist perspective and then the other half of me thinks they're neanderthals howling incoherently out of their confused masculine identies and inability to think. It's almost a perfect expression of the apex between frustration with materialism in a world going to hell from consumerism, fast fashion, slave labor, etc. and idiotic toxic masculinity. "Mongo no like fancy pads. Mongo jealous. Mongo afraid economy getting worse. Mongo vaguely anxious about envi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 05:27 AM
22

I couldn't wait to get rid if "it." I thought the whole virginity thing was comical and stupid. Just another "meat market value" and demeaning. The funny thing is that everyone assumed I was a virgin long past the time I wasn't. It's probably because I wasn't attracted to that many people and focused on work and school, which was somehow read as "afraid" of sex instead of just not into the men around me. I would say, "No, Virgo, not virgin." I got a few shocked remarks that seemed to convey that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 03:06 AM
6

Why am I sensing this guy and his mommy are semi obese and look kind of like big bulky babies (and that he he hides his chins under a beard)? Just had this image pop into my head. There's too much to unpack here. Emotional incest between mum and manbaby, rage at seeing an infant nurtured in a way not customary in dad's family of origin which is taken as an accusation that they did it wrong (paranoia). Also manbaby's masked jealousy that his son is getting boob time and classically feigning that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 07:36 PM
4

In my estimation, saying someone has a personality disorder is not a bid for clemency or sympathy. It's a dire warning. Personality disorder is not the same as mental illness. A mentally ill person doesn't have the wherewithall to be covert, elaborately cover up their ill deeds, or spin blame reversals on their victims. Mentally ill people who are violent (most are not) will attack strangers in public, their boss or an armed cop, not just victims who are relatively powerless and they don't do it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 06:26 PM
65

Great points. As a former advocate for dv survivors, I'd add there are instances where even western women have choices limited by circumstances beyond their control or such enormous risks from being seen to take control that they're playing possum to survive another day. I have no problem with criticisms of Pickmes who take down other women in service to men despite not having a gun to their head forcing them to, or who police other women for not Pickme dancing hard enough. But unless I'm willin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 08:37 AM
13

So, quelle suprise, the people pleasing was not optional, it was required to be in the relationship with those specific people. And I probably knew this on some level all along. You boiled it down beautifully. I should have written "Enforce without regrets...from the comfort of your fallout shelter."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 02:42 PM
50

Good point.Too bad rape isn't repugnant to human males in an evolutionary sense, but human war likely evolved from our ape ancestors' avoidance of inbreeding. Regular chimps, our closest ape cousins, are known to go on periiodic lethal raids of other troupes to steal fertile females. Triibal human societies did the same. It's an ugly way to ensure females leave their family groups and breed elsewhere. All war evolved from rape in other words. War is rape according to primatologist Richard Wrangh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 08:07 AM
50

Totally traumatizing because I think we can sense on a gut level that someone so removed from intimacy and empathy could, given certain conditions, very easily be capable of violence. Proximity to people like this is the razor's edge between ho-hum normal life and atrocity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 07:47 AM
16

Okay, holiday memory. As a little kid, I had a crush on the boy soloist of the children's chorus I sang with. I had a hopelessly tiny voice and he was a pro by age ten, so I was intimidated. But we became friends and started a caroling group one Christmas. Since the children's chorus sang seasonally with the city symphony, we had a good collection of songs and figured we could hit the rich part of town to make a few bucks and get some cookies. I'll never forget the experience. It wasn't just rin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 07:32 AM
14

Bet his family doesn't have any happy holiday memories, not when he was around anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 06:48 AM
36

I wonder if you really feel "bad" for rejecting this creep or are just rightfully terrified of fallout. Over time when you see first hand how disastrously things work out when you don't enforce boundaries, that terror ultimately over-rides the fear of enforcing. And the fear of consequences for enforcing isn't unfounded. Hell hath no fury like men with personality disorders hearing the word "no." It's like all women are ba.ttered women in this society who escape only when the risk of staying exc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 06:37 AM
2

I just made a similar comment before reading yours. What you said. Amen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 05:56 AM
22

They mean mostly white women. WOC always worked and were "working mothers."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 05:54 AM
11

Tons of unredeemed ba.tterers in AA. There's no Assaholelics Anonymous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 05:45 AM
9

POWs who engage in gallows humor have a better survival rate. It's a war out there. 😶
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 05:42 AM
11

Many ba.ttered women are driven to substance ab.use despite not having previous substance issues or family of origin issues that would predict addiction. It's in the clinical literature. So what's he saying? He was a ba.ttered man? Did she give him syphilis and HPV from all the Craigslist manwhores she bonked on the kids' toy chest, then tell their closest contacts it was from his past whoring? Was there systematic psychological ab.use and gaslighting? Did she reenact conditions of the Iraq inva…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 05:40 AM
30

Become the reckoning. Profound. Decades ago, there was an attempt to publish a book that included testimonies of female Hol.ocaust victims reporting rape at the hands of other dea.th camp prisoners. Auschwitz survivor and historian Primo Levi took enough flak simply reporting first hand experience of prisoners snitching on and ab.using other prisoners without mentioning rape. In The Drowned and the Saved, he makes many memorable points, one of which is that turning victims on each other was part…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 03:46 AM
102

Thousand fap stare, guffaw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 03:01 AM
60

They're as inconspicuous as pole-vaulting pigs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 03:00 AM
152

It looks like she's saying "Jesus, puke in the bag, Ben, not on the leather seats."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 06:12 AM
230

He's making the noises every unrecovered alcoholic makes before their next DUI. Very Mel Gibsony.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 06:09 AM
3

That's exactly why we shun gaslighters. They decalibrate our circuitry, aka, gut sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 06:05 AM
49

Wikipedia is controlled by corporations. I worked briefly with a group of whistleblowers-- all of them rather illustrious MDs, psychiatrists and psychopharmaceuticologists (and not one Scientologist)-- who described trying to simply add the FDA Black Box Warning info to the Wiki article on the antipsychotic Risperdal which was still on-patent at the time and a blockbuster. They joked (in a haha-groan sort of way) how those new, well cited edits would disappear in under five minutes. Johnson & Jo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 03:01 AM
4

But having worked in activism for ages, I've watched feminists and liberals file down their edges for the sake of left/right coalitions for various environmental causes only to get pushed off the roster when the cause reaches a certain pitch. My editor for 12 years, a veteran classic lefty newsman, an ally and one of the forerunners of AIDS activism, commited suicide over this a few years ago. Beware.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 02:40 AM
36

Long before porn there was rape. Now there's porn and rape. Some of these guys are only concerned they might have to take Viagra to prepare for rape. Ruins the sponaneity, daaw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 02:32 AM
45

Not one word about jacking off to underage trafficking and torture victims, many of who were already dead by the time the images streamed. Try harder, Spanky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 02:28 AM
145

Thank God she's turning herself around. It was touch and go for awhile. For any moderately sensitive young woman in that industry, that libfem kinkmeisha shit is a one way ticket to Chateau Marmont and overdose by 27. For basic idiots it's the managerial fast track or an op-ed byline for Vice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 02:24 AM
5

You completely rock. 🎊🎊🎉🎉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 10:01 PM
7

In other words, it would be fine to actually want the money. There's no "good victim" Olympics and if there was, the winner would get a kick in the kidneys and false stalking charges as you've seen yourself. You can do or not do whatever you want. You're allowed schadenfreude, ire, charitable impulses, philosophical musings on the nature of evil or a spa vacation for two months. You've been through enough where no one gets to judge how you react or process. I remember the constant policing from …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 09:53 PM
9

The judge in the civil case said to my attorneys, "It's not about the money for her, it's about getting the truth out, isn't it?" True. The jury seemed to feel the.same, probably why they awarded me the symbolic amount of a whopping quarter million clams. "Symbolic" because this loser obviously couldn't pay it on his own then. But if he ever inherited from Dr. Daddy.... I've got kids now and wouldn't mind the award money at this point. It's acrued, too. I'd have zero reservations with collecting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 09:30 PM
5

Hugs and blessings for your new life. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 09:21 PM
4

I know what you mean but the problem in apportioning culpability is partly semantic and partly lack of public understanding that infidelity is typically a form of intimate partner violence, not like being stood up at the prom. As a former advocate for dv survivors, I can attest that all ba.tterers cheat and that cheating is never "just cheating." It invariably comes with financial ab.use (embezzling joint assets to pay for affairs or to pay sex workers, a type of violence), verbal and psychologi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 07:27 PM
19

Anger is just a jet pack to fuel one out of paralysis. It's neither good nor bad on its own but it all depends on what you do with it. You did good with it, used it to gain needed justice and propel yourself to freedom, therefore your jet fuel is beautiful, non-polluting and environmentally sustainable. 🤟❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 04:48 PM
20

Kudos to you! Because even criminal convictions can be expunged or sort of concealed (not sure how that works) for first time offenders, I recommend finding a badass civil attorney and filing the injury lawsuit now. If the jury rules for malice in civil trial, he can never claim bankruptsy to avoid paying the court award. You will own him forever and anyone can dig up the case. I was stalked and assaulted years ago by a rich boy coworker whose doctor daddy paid legal bills to get charges knocked…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 04:40 PM
6

I'm a fan of Brecht's concept of "social gestics." I've used it for political art many times. It never fails to shake things up. "The pomp of the Fascists, taken at its face value, has a hollow gest, the gest of mere pomp, a featureless phenomenon: men strutting instead of walking, a certain stiffness, a lot of colour, self-conscious sticking out of chests, etc. All this could be the gest of some popular festivity, quite harmless, purely factual and therefore to be accepted. Only when the strutt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 06:16 AM
2

Exactly. Idealization of one group of people axiomatically depends on demonization of another. It's manichean and basically the root assumption behind gen.ocide. To accept that every group has an equal share of assholes and good eggs as any other is genuine equality. There is no transcendent caste, not by ethnicity, geography or even level of education. But the latter view spoils any chance of tyrants and cult leaders, etc., to grab power (and if you read Becker, get more pussy) by appealing to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 06:01 AM
5

My MIL always hated me because the first time I went to one of the swank ashrams of the yoga sect she follows (just to placate her), I took one look at the giant photo of the late founding guru adorning the entrance and all I could think about was child rapists. I was never molested as a kid but just couldn't stop thinking about it and never went back. Then I found the New Yorker exposé on this guru who was, you guessed it, a serial pedophile rapist. In the end, we went NC with my MIL because sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 08:21 AM
7

Arguably radfem-aligned evolutionary scientist Richard Wrangham calls the Western view that tribal cultures are any less warring or rapey than modern societies "patronizing." He's not spinning rationales to divest tribes of the bloodlands and destroy their cultures but just taking issue with Western utopian fantasies about human nature. He demonstrates how Margaret Mead's famous study was flawed along these lines and also politicized since she was sent to the Marquesas islands expressly to fulfi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 07:51 AM
8

Maybe it's a Brechtian device of drawing in the sex pozzy idiots who think the show romanticizes their choicy choices only to crack them upside the head with their own delusions? If so, yay, I'll try to watch it again. I also thought it was a CoOl giRl vehicle from the first episode and tuned out. I remember a few men who quit watching Madmen in frustration right when the fluorescent lights went on and everything got ugly. Good old Brecht.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 07:12 AM
11

Ugh, my inlaws loved doing the "tsk, chill out" crap while I struggled to wrangle raging toddlers. So glad we're NC with those jerks. French Lacanians who believed mothers are overprotective and suffocate children because of... penis envy. Or something. Blow me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 07:02 AM
32

The original Swedish film Force Majeure is all about the theme of woman as protector while being expected to pretend her husband isn't a useless manbaby. https://youtu.be/fjjzVbTBF8o The remake is cute but loses a lot of the political undertones and impact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 06:54 AM
10

Google "Murdoch + porn investment" and "sponsored content + controversy."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 04:39 AM
2

Hugs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 04:33 AM
7

If you hate cheating, you're a dried up Jesus freak who hasn't had it in years, zooms around Texas Walmarts in your Jazzy scooter because you're so fat you can't walk, drives a big environmentally irresponsible truck, didn't finish high school and thinks the Gay Men''s Chorus causes earthquakes, yup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 04:32 AM
111

The old, "He got married too young" claptrap. They rely on that rationale whether they married at 19, 22, 26 or 35.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 04:22 AM
2

By extreme mental compartmentalization, some predators can alter their vibe on a nearly cellular level. For instance, the coworker who stalked me always had a way with animals and children. In fact, as he waited in the dark under my neighbor's hedge for my husband and I to get home (he was wearing his father's medical fatigues, presumably for the blood he intended to shed) he was petting the neighbor's cat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 05:00 PM
6

YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING. The guy's a perv. You could report the entire conversation to the hospital board without editorializing, simply saying it made you uncomfortable. Then always request a female ultrasound tech in future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 04:52 PM
15

It's all bs. What NYers in that era had exclusively white friends other than Upper East Side preppies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 04:46 PM
106

Is the attention real or wag-the-dog stuff? I edited a publication for an embattled environmental cause for 12 years and can attest that 90% of the flak and backlash we got was canned. It all came from paid trolls and shills whose "popularity" was entirely conjured and fabricated. It's a standard spin model. B/vloggers and influencers commonly hire click mills or their sponsors do. There's a lot of stealth commercial sponsorship of the Pickme kinkmeisha sex-work-is-work message right now, probab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 04:36 PM
7

Does not compute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 05:27 PM
13

Total ba.tterer move. Cheaters are statistically more likely to eventually be violent to partners. Plus this creep bordered on stalking . You might have dodged a much bigger bullet than you consciously know, even aside from the deadly risk of STDs. I'll bet more than half the reason you didn't escape sooner was paralysis from unconscious terror. The risk management part of your brain only knows that men who lack empathy to that degree are dangerous but can't immediately factor how dangerous, so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 05:26 PM
35

Every surface of the booth teaming with STDs-- retch. But a photo of period underwear is "gross."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 03:35 PM
288

There's no statute of limitations. This guy needs to be charged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 03:20 PM
129

Attempted murder. Press charges.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 03:20 PM
7

The only thing coming out of their mouths about your appearance should be along the lines of "nice hat." If not, move on. It doesn't get better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 03:17 PM
27

Women had few options then. She seems to have gotten herself in the history books and lived a long life so it appears she squeezed what she could out of that mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:36 AM
45

I think the classic stuff like changes in clothes, workout routine, drinking and the way he smells are probably already covered along with increased secrecy, phone-guarding, increased verbal ab.use, callousness, the old "I love you but I'm not in love with you" bs, etc. So here are a few weird early warnings: --Calls you by all sorts of nicknames but never your real name. It's so he doesn't slip and accidentally call another woman by your name or vice-versa. --Textbook: casts a "covetous eye" at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:00 AM
19

Anyone who wants to help ab.use victims should read the works of Dr. Donald Dutton, break down the theories and then provide cliff notes for survors in crisis, with the ultimate goal of urging women to read source materials themselves. Dutton is a Canadian criminologist who studied ba.tterers like bugs in prison settings for decades, so his work tops the list of reading material. First, providing these psych profiles tends to really grab the attention of women who may be in full-blown dazed "pos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 05:17 PM
2

Kale is the bomb. As a toddler, my son couldn't sleep if he didn't eat stewed, stir-fried or steamed kale at least once a day. I still have no idea why but the micronutrients in it might be biome friendly in some way or critical neurochemical building blocks. Not sure. I just know that nonverbal toddlers generally aren't that prone to placebo effect and there's nothing "psychosomatic" about whether anyone in the house sleeps or not. Guantanamo-style sleep deprivation will put the fear of God (i.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 04:49 PM
2

For those who don't know, Dr. Terry Wahls used diet to cure herself of (or put into remission as some would say) MS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 04:40 PM
4

Oh and kale. A doctor shared with me the nutritional profile of organic kale and it has over 40 unique micronutrients aside from whopping levels of mag, calcium and vitamin C. In theory, it can help to combine it with fermented foods to lower the risk of oxalate crystal buildup in the kidneys-- a risk with any dark green vegetable. But in my experience, kale seems less prone to cause this. We freeze it in "blocks"and crumble it up like parsley in every savory recipe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 03:52 PM
4

People who use Terry Wahls' version of keto for autoimmunity use a lot of organic bone broth because the minerals drawn out of (again, organic) bones are in particularly bioavailable form, especially magnesium. The PTSD diet is similar to Wahls' protocol for MS recovery. I would recommend integrative allergy and nutrient testing to tweak supplements and diet. Deficiencies can be very individual and since most autoimminity starts with "leaky gut" (breakdown of gut-blood barrier and then blood-bra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 03:42 PM
3

Well, if you're really diving deep into abnormal psych, there's the concept of "masked dependency" and attachment disorder. But trying to "fix" that would be like trying to bandage a booboo on a rampaging great white shark since these syndromes are commonly observed in ba.tterers and serial ki.llers. Read criminologist Donald Dutton's The Ba.tterer for a description and note how the author-- who studied ab.users in prison settings for decades-- concludes that only jail time affects recidivism bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 03:29 PM
3

Response to Baconsquared: I learned about it through my son's environmental injury (municipal pesticide spraying and a neighbor's illegal lead paint abatement, grrrrr). It affected microbiome and digestion. When he dramatically recovered from treating the gut and using targeted nutrition, we saw the light. This was years before microbiome became all the rage in mainstream medicine. We caught flak left and right from bystanders, grease monkey doctors and schools for his "weird" diet. But proof's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 03:14 PM
2

Non-creepy hugs to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 03:07 PM
3

That's part of it for sure. It uses and depletes progesterone as a building block and dipping progesterine causes false hunger (a reason for teen girls' yoyo weight gain which tends to settle down when hormones stabilize). So appetite increase is arguably due to both malabsorption and "requisitioning" of neurochemicals and nutrients, the route by which chronic high cortisol starts making your body eat your spine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 02:41 PM
108

They complain about other women to "train" you and groom you to eat shit. It's also a hubris trap to make you pickme-dance and compete with those hussies from his past. I loved Natalie Portman's list of steps to support women from her speech at the Women's Awards on behalf of Time's Up. Step 4 was to "Stop the rhetoric that a woman is crazy or difficult. If a man says to you that a woman is crazy or difficult, ask him, ‘What bad thing did you do to her?’” Edit: posted too soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 02:27 PM
38

Hah. Some guy I dated tried to "train" me by complaining about "unfeminine" things other women did. He described how a music industry coworker would show up in army boots, braids and a backwards baseball cap when she was having a bad day. That's exactly what I wore when I dumped him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 02:22 PM
34

You probably dodged a bullet by escaping. I would guess someone who image-manages and compartmentalizes to this degree is probably violent. A description of ba.tterer psychology is that they have quasi-split personalities. Not split enough to be considered genuine dissociative personality disorder, but more like their personae are separated by four foot office partitions. They know what they do but it is as if each persona has its own politics, tastes, etc. The central, organizing, evil persona …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 02:03 PM
64

I have the same response every time. He's not "pulling away" for deep, mysterious, philosophical reasons. He's either sinking deeper into porn or trying to bonk the new hire at work. The end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 05:40 AM
69

Stress and trauma cause nutrient malabsorption, so the stress eating isn't just for psychological comfort, it's to ward off serious illness and physical collapse. It's like the body is trying to make up for depletion by going for quantity. It should be more normal to prescribe nutritional supplements and special high nutrient diets following trauma (and insurance should pay for it).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 05:35 AM
59

My husband is the same weight he was when we got engaged, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. I was thin then but thinner now, probably because we moved the family to a walking city. Another contributing factor might be that we buy farm shares and eat 99% organic. When we go out, it's really for the ambience, to get some adult time away from kidlets, to avoid doing dishes and maybe sleuth out a new recipe, but honestly we usually prefer what we cook at home. I read somewhere that, regardless o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 05:18 AM
26

Mmmm, side of shit with that shit platter?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 04:42 AM
93

Um, he's cheating. Or worse. Cheaters-- like ba.tterers-- cobble together false effigies of their spouses over time for the purpose of burning them. Most ab.users then draft enablers, proxy-abusers and flying monkeys to nod along with these false descriptions until the ab.user's is convinced of his own bs and the depiction of his spouse gets farther and farther from reality and defies all logic. In psych-speak, it's part of something called "neutralization"-- an elaborate system of rationalizati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 03:19 AM
100

You hear that ALL the time after giving birth and not only from older women. (Oozily cooing) "But how is the new dad doing? Is he managing the stress alright?" My husband would say his episiotomy stitches were healing fine but his nipples were killing him. 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 05:27 PM
4

A friend found that book ages ago, then orgnized a Caribbean beach getaway together with her frequent flier miles and a borrowed vacation condo to comb over the fine points. We returned very tan and rested and broke up with our boyfriends simultaneously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 05:00 PM
8

Wow, I thought Norwood's book was a buried relic of the sneakily-misogynist 80s. I'd sooner recommend some of the authors that buried it (and buy the authors a drink if they're still around). For instance, the book Men Who Can't Love was written by two psychologists as a deliberate antidote to Norwood and the codependency theory. Also, in her 90's book, Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women, Pulitzer winning feminist journalist Susan Faludi devotes an entire chapter to critiquing N…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 06:13 AM
5

She was probably told you knew he was married and pursued him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 05:48 AM
71

Ugh. So many cheating married dads on OLD and cruising interns in the corporate arena. I was just talking with a friend in the middle of a contentious divorce from a serial cheater and she mentioned other friends in the same boat whom we've known forever. All smart, independent, gorgeous women. It's shocking. I can only conclude that all cheaters operate by the same playbook as garden variety ab.users. Give or take broken bones and bruises, all cheaters fit the ba.tterer profile, including psych…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:11 PM
2

Ooh, you're going to be an amazing mental health advocate. But I condemn to hell the creep who provided you with the "real life experience." Wishing you a safe and smooth escape..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 08:00 PM
6

According to dv expert Lenore Walker, ba.tterers often seek out women with higher than average pre-abuse self esteem. No one has really speculated why this is but I can think of different scenarios. One is that they're drawn to "big game" for the challenge and image management: a tiger skin trophy has more bragging rights than a bunny foot keychain. But I tend to think this has more to do with "reenactment"-- the way some continue to replay past FOO traumas and dramas seeking better outcomes. Al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 07:50 PM
7

In the modern psych lexicon, ba.ttering encompasses a pretty wide range of behavior, some of "subviolent" like financial control, etc., but all of it is part of the cycle of ab.use and frequently prefaces violence. 50% of men will, at some point or other, assault an intimate partner. Likely candidates are the ones "prefacing." If you really want to do a deep dive into the sugar-free realm, criminologist Donald Dutton studied ba.terers in prison settings for decades. He authored a lot of clinical…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 07:04 AM
56

I sometimes lean towards the old-timey words "ab.user" or "ba.tterer" (which reddit won't allow without a disguise) over the trendier "narc," especially when discussing the cycle of ab.use (another word Reddit won't allow). That's because the latter-- despite not really being a new term-- has gained new meaning, part of which is to absorb older definitions while simultaneously "lightening" them. In other words, "narc" generally leads only to more current pop-science descriptions that often ignor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 05:39 PM
5

I worked with a couple of millennials who wasted a good chunk of their twenties because they'd grown up watching Gray's Anatomy. Married creeps have no problem letting Pickmes play out their parasocial Dr. McDouchey fantasies. Of course it never works out like on TV, but they were still watching GA when I left that job, like throwing good money after bad. I finally watched some episodes of GA and Scandal as part of a media project and felt genuine horror that this shit had been so influential fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 07:53 AM
17

Gray's Anatomy. Ugh. https://youtu.be/O9Swo1anaCE I don't worry so much about brazen, in-your-face misogyny as I do the stealth libfem variety that oozes into the psyches of supposedly "independent" girls and women. The stealth forms couched in "woke" drivel are more insidious. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Meredith is a doctor and blah blah blah, random feminist themes develop. But like just about everything Shonda Rimes creates, the plot first centers and develops from a character who's a side dish pining…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 07:29 PM
6

The capitol riots spilled over from that dumpster fire. Failed joke of a coup compared to other coups d'état but people died. Definitely terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 01:12 PM
8

Great points and glad to hear the UK tradition of classically trained actors being rad is still going (except Gary Oldman. Fuck Gary Oldman). Anyone reading this article should bear in mind that Cumberbatch might have said much more but he was speaking to Sky News, owned by the ultra-right wing neolib totalitarian Murdoch family who are presently doing a thing the radical right wing has done since Plato-- playing "entryist" or Trojan horse into liberal media. For example, Murdoch pere et fil now…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 01:08 PM
60

I see a bit of self pity in his mopey expression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 08:27 PM
17

I agree with others about "shoulds." One of my favorite film scenes is Mira Sorvino's long suffering wife character in the Spike Lee film Summer of Sam going Vesuvian on the cheating husband character. Very cathartic. And I would know, lol. I went to private schools and tend to come off very "demure," but in reality, I'm originally from NYC and have a mouth that could melt granite. Plus I'm funny when I'm pissed. I've made grown men weep, which came in handy in my former career in a high stakes,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 08:22 PM
2

The Mamatron2000 has added features like a kevlar uterus and you can swipe credit cards on her vagina.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 04:43 AM
2

Watch The Sopranos again. Many creeps take antidepressants to snuff any last vestiges of empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 03:56 AM
2

Great points. Fashion modeling is borderline in this sense, though technically being groped isn't part of the job description (unless credibly alleged serial rapists Gérald Marie or John Casablancas was your agent). Edit: added "alleged" in hopes trials find these monsters guilty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 03:52 AM
28

Hmmm, funny how when grown women transition they look like teenage boys. BuT mEn AgE bEtTEr tHaN wOMeN?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 03:38 AM
77

As a woman you probably should. According to the global average, women live 7-8 years longer than men. Imagining most women hope to marry for love, who wants to be a widow for 10, 15, 20 years?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 03:31 AM
2

Books on human darkness that strangely gave me peace of mind. Hey, I didn't know about cake day, thanks. 🎂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 06:01 PM
2

Too many people are weak, unreflective monkeys who automatically grovel for amnesty and cuddle up to the loudest, most dangerous ape in the room. Then the same people will blame ba.ttererd women for not magically levitating out of dangerous relationships, even as the bystander happily surrounds themselves with bullies and goons. Humans. Earnest Becker writes about this tendency in Escape From Evil. In his memoir, the composer Dmitri Shostakovich writes about the fauning lackeys surrounding monst…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 05:40 AM
4

More than anything else, good services need people with empathy and real grit. Everything else is a matter of training which many will provide. That said, there are many bad service organizations because state institutions prefer to fund orgs that operate within typical victim-blaming, takes-two-to-tango philosphies. Men like those views more and men and Pickme bureaucrats often hold the coffer strings. The reading can help you ask questions before signing up so you can weed out the duds. Like i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 08:02 PM
3

I'm no expert but I follow the work of experts and spit it back out as cliff notes. That's mostly what we did in this advocacy service aside from offering practical resources. In the hopes of encouraging surviviors to do their own research, to be experts on their own situations and to gain immunity to lousy pop-psych and clinical theories, we'd summarize the literature that contradicted all the victim-blaming psychobabble most survivors were blasted with, first from their ab.users, then from neg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 04:46 AM
3

So glad you were able to download that book. Sometimes it seems like the most politically relevant stuff isn't that accessible. As long as you're hunting specialized clinical research, the other top mindblowing read on my list on the subject is the chapter on dv in Frank M Ochberg's research compilation, Post-traumatic Stress Therapy and the Victims of Vio.lence. Husband-Wife authors Anne Flitcraft and Evan Stark critique and pull apart all the victim-blaming bs in typical clinical literature. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 08:45 PM
7

Actually dv expert Lenore Walker found that if there was any common denominator among dv victims at all, it's that ba.tterers seem most attracted to independent women with higher than average pre-abuse self esteem. Otherwise victims come from all walks. The idea that victims are more empathic than average (most women are pretty empathic to start with) probably comes from what it takes to survive within dv. "Captor bonding"-- or so deeply faking empathy for the ab.user that the victim convinces h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 07:58 PM
8

Lewinsky was 22 at the time. But you know who was really young at the time of the affair? Chelsea, who would have been 14-15 when it started. Here's a measure of the ramifications of this regarding Lewinsky taking the "youth" excuse: if a 22 year old molested a 14 year old, they'd go to jail. Lewinsky obviously didn't molest Chelsea but Lewinsky's creepy participation in creepery did taint the life of a young child. Lewinsky was old enough to realize that the power figure she was bonking had a y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 06:15 PM
6

I didn't suggest Lewinsky should have faced legal consequences other than the subpoena. The point was that Bill Clinton did face legal consequences (and his wife and daughter also took the brunt as families of disgraced douches usually do), so I'm not sure why there's this argument floating around the media that only poor Lewinsky faced shaming/consequences. The only reason anyone's even talked about Lewinsky in the past 18 years is because she keeps grubbing for media attention much like the ce…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 05:32 PM
24

Taoist expression to live by: "Never rob anyone of their consequences." I don't support corporal or capital punishment, but it's funny how rape culture defenders think even social consequences (being cancelled) are "cruel and unusual." One ethically slippery discussion of Pickme shaming in the media recently is Monica Lewinsky who executive produced some made-for-tv docudrama about the Clinton sex and impeachment scandal. As a story consultant, she apparently has herself depicted as the only tru…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 03:15 PM
20

Dutton is still kind of the last word on cutting edge research of ba.tterers and dv dynamics. The Batterer is a short and easy read, almost like a companian book to Why Does He Do That. You'll walk away from reading it with a million revelations. I don't know if ba.tterers are consciously shit-testing like RPs or just hoping for an impossible ideal to manifest: a needless, perfect, omnicient, protective mommy figure who doesn't incite rage but, if perchance she does, doesn't break when subjected…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 01:28 AM
3

It all more or less sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 05:22 PM
12

That unborn son has a dick and that dick is inside their "property," so yes. Also the most de.aths and worst injuries to children within dv situations is to male children. It fits with the stats that men k.ill men at 8 times the rate they k.ill women and most often k.ill men they know. As women, we're really just caught in the crossfire of men's competition with and loathing and fear of other men. The most insulting part of it is that we don't exist as real beings within that dynamic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 05:19 PM
170

I don't know if toxic horror show perpetrators will ever make sense to someone who isn't a toxic horror show, but maybe there are a few driving principles to be on guard for. Disordered white men do the same to white women but base the triangulation on a range of qualities, shifting the supposed ideal to whatever their current partner is not. If their partner is a career woman, they hanker for a passive geisha. If she's blonde, they lust for dark. If she's highly sexual, they daydream about "pur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 05:05 PM
2

It was a friend, a WOC, who supported me in prosecuting one of the perps. As the daughter of DC judge, she was very talented at managing police egos, knew just what attitude to take and what to say to make them do their jobs. But would that have worked so well had she had to do it on her own behalf or another woman of color? This fucking world. The former Monsanta kept an army of trolls for a long time. https://www.ecowatch.com/monsanto-hires-internet-trolls-2401703407.html I kept blocking them …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 04:09 AM
243

30-40 years ago a 35 year old guy, maybe especially one with trad patriachal values, might see a teen girl as daughter-aged and be glad she had prohibitively high standards. I'm not even saying this was a great thing since trad dads saw daughters as property and didn't want any man coming near them. But it's better than today's elderly bachelors critiquing teen girl behavior through the lens of dating material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 06:29 PM
106

"Failed marriage"-- what a euphemism. He's been credibly accused of domestic vio.lence. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/elections/abuse-allegations-against-sean-parnell-threaten-upend-gop-senate-primary-n1283763
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 06:22 PM
8

I don't think anyone with a brain assumes.a woman calling the cops on someone following and menacing her is equivalent to calling the cops on a black man innocently posting his mail. But as someone who called police on and criminally prosecuted two (white) workplace harasser/stalkers (and sued one and won), I think you have a point that bystanders can be incredibly stupid and criticism of false racist reports can too easily be turned into "pressure" to never call cops on any man. I'm all for ret…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 06:12 PM
7

My dream man. Please tell me he's pigeon-chested with a swollen liver and has waddles and dewlaps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 05:17 PM
102

Britney finally got free of her father's conservatorship in a saga that began with a terrible marriage. Less than 5% of celeb marriages last more than a decade and often end in scandal. Look at Alice Evans. There's a lot to be cautious about here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 05:13 PM
10

For each gift idea you have for him, buy yourself something instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 05:00 PM
30

'Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.' --Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 04:58 PM
34

I was an advocate for dv survivors 20 years ago and this was a well known fact back then. Furthermore, it was known that the risk of being assaulted by a partner when pregnant is even higher when the sex of the fetus is known to be male. The latter is a factoid that demonstrates that dv likely relates to pathological competition between males and has nothing to do with the victim. In other words, it doesn't take "two to tango." Women are merely footballs in sexual violence which is internally ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 04:54 PM
7

Envy, jealousy and chronic comparison are a disease. I went NC with my own sister 8 years ago because of it. She and the people she hangs out with do that shit constantly. She'll always find the one sniping troll in every setting and bond with them over nasty asides, then she simpers and plays faux innocent and "child-like" to people's faces. Now when I hear women talk in simpering baby voices, I cringe and wonder what toxic personality quirks they must be overcompensating for. I don't know wher…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 04:33 PM
19

Beware of pseudo-positive racism and white male racial fetishization. Latin and African women get stereotyped as "hot to trot" and Asian women get pigeonholed as passive and child-like. It's very limiting and doesn't come from a good place. On the theory that war is protracted rape, the most "rape-able" female prototype at any given time will always shifts to the women from the targeted culture in wars of aggression. Throughout history, the victors would tradiitionally kidnap women from the targ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 09:25 PM
3

He belongs in jail where he can spend even more time on his knees finding out how funny his joke is on the (cough) receiving end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 09:03 PM
85

She does a great impersonation of a bratty little kid. Karen has one legit application: racist white women (or men-- even better) who call the cops on people bird-watching-while-black, etc. Using the term for any other purpose is cultural appropriation as far as I'm concerned, about as charming and politically sophisticated as a lily-white guy wearing cornrows or Lakota jewelry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 08:04 PM
81

I thought he looked half dead in Night Crawler and found it not credible that a gorgeous woman nearly twice his age (Rene Russo) would bone such a sallow, sunken-eyed little creep even under coercion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 07:56 PM
31

My Korean friend and colleague in LA said she never dated white men who'd previously dated Asian women. An article on the "new Asian trophy date trend" came out in the LA Times and she started crying tears of rage. Usually she was funny about that stuff but it was pretty dark gallows humor. I never laughed so hard as when I was with her. She taught me how to say "fuck off" in Korean. She used to do this whispery, simpering geisha voice with guys who'd approach our friend group in clubs but then …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 07:04 PM
13

"Men that expect to be pursued are usually feminized." Or married. They seem to hope women will be the pursuers so they can deny responsibility for betraying their families. I worked in a top-down, male dominated, harassment-riddled industry and started noticing that some men played "low key" to scavenge the Pickme leftovers. I can understand how their passivity would look almost appealing in contrast to the general rapey scrotery going on. Not appealing to me but some women were game. My guess …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:46 PM
45

Yeeees. Married douches typically make come-ons that sound like legal disclaimers. That thinking arises naturally in peope planning to break a legal contract (marriage) and risking legal consequences to fuck around. The side dish risks being subpoenaed too if caught. Not so "fun." Neither are traumatized children or STDs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 04:33 PM
6

The prefix "demi" means "half" or "partly." So if you don't like being choked, slapped, bound, kicked or anally raped with kitchen implements, you're missing half of your God-given human sexuality? Terminology as PR and propaganda. It's like kink is a corporate venture-- which it is considering porn profits. But to its users, it's a cult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 04:24 PM
21

If you're 20, keep a sharp eye out for thinning hair (not in the case of Jake. That guy is the missing link and probably has to shave his eyeballs) and those crepey little wrinkles around the neck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 06:14 PM
118

"I'm doing something wrong if this scrote thought he could assault me without consequences..." The only thing you're getting wrong is thinking his compulsion to commit violence had anything to do with you. That shit is internally generated. Disorded people live in their own demented private Idahos. Most rapists actually think their victims like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 04:40 PM
74

The stakes in dating for women are all too frequently life and death. So never, ever feel bad about refusing to hand some virtual stranger the loaded gun of your past traumas so they can hold it to your head and retraumatize you to control you. A high value non-douche guy would totally understand and respect your playing things close to the chest, even if you lied to him for a year to keep your guard up. Only a creep or an idiot would get angry about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 03:10 AM
17

Leveling up can be lonely at first, not just because of weeding out shitty men but also weeding out weak and hypocritical or traitorous women. It takes a while to fill your tank with dolphins, but the first step has to be kicking out the sharks to prove that you, too, are a dolphin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 05:32 PM
10

There is a chlamydia antibody test he could potentially be forced to take to prove he wasn't the carrier in a lawsuit. What do you want to bet he'd turn up positive on the test?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 05:03 PM
31

I dumped a male "friend" who'd literally known me since birth (son of family friends) because he put down a female friend of mine at her birthday party. Apparently he was intimidated by her awesomeness and was secretly bitter that she dated younger men (instead of older ones like him, hah). So he snarked behind her back to anyone who would listen. I wasn't there because I had to travel for work but was especially offended by it because he only knew my friend through me. I had to dump him as a co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 04:47 PM
58

Liars and con artists abound. I can pretty much guarantee that behind the scenes with his old crew, that guy is not that "nice."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 04:23 PM
4

Well, it's wise to figure out who your mortal enemies are right off the bat. It's harder to figure out which guise the enemy will come in. Murdoch and spawn are busy gobbling up lefty-seeming publications the better to fracture human rights, anti-corporate and climate activism from the inside (aka, "entryism"). Watch Succession-- it's a particular Murdoch party trick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 07:48 AM
88

The cut-off age for applying to be a US Navy Seal is 28. Navy Seals are 93% male and arguably sum up the ideal of male virility and strength. That's pretty close to an official "wall." Now take a moment to enjoy a video of Italian ballerina Alessandra Ferri dancing at age 52. https://youtu.be/GO09V7p-gLE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 04:49 AM
95

Another way of putting it is that this is love. All those complicating, intimidating, mundane, inane things amount to love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 04:42 AM
6

He probably rolls in his grave over the biopic with Angela Bassett. https://youtu.be/4YMzT2Uelts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 08:11 PM
47

Sounds like an NLOG with covert Pickme MO who furthermore is openly trying to appeal to pedos (pigtails). My generation had the same kinds of NLOG Pickmes that only differed in negligible ways from Z NLOGS. Point being, wherever you go, there you bloody are. Equality, like democracy, is a living revolution, a Sisyphean feat that must be maintained and tended at all times becsuse the rock will invariably roll back down the mountain if we let go of it. There will never be a generation of women tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 07:49 PM
13

Actually yes. The OP mentioned Vice Magazine which, though it pretends to be a liberal publication, is controlled by the radical right wing Murdoch empire, owners of Fox News. I fully believe the Murdochs are porn investors for strategic reasons. Lefty porn addicts are politically maleable and inert. I don't think the goal is simply to get women back in the pantry but the man-on-top/woman-on-bottom is the shape that totalitarian societies invariably take and that is the Murdoch aim-- a dociety i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 03:53 PM
10

Brain dead libs definitely read Vice but Vice is not actually a lefty rag. The king of right wing media, Fox News owner and notorious war-mongering fascist (snd porn investor) Rupert Murdoch and his creepy son James control Vice. It's understandable since, from the start, Vice was only ever a faux left Trojan horse publication meant to draw in shallow mainsteam liberals on a few lefty banner issues and then start selling piecemeal and thinly veiled fascist policies, usually in the name of "scien…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 04:15 AM
2

Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 03:58 AM
44

"The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink." George Orwell, Politics and the English Language
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 03:41 AM
24

I think most women in affairs with married/attached men know it, but there are cagey douches out there pretending to be single, so great tip about him keeping your number listed under "Snap-On Tools" or "United Pool Cleaners."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 09:32 PM
9

Vichy women-- ugh. There's a reason people (and entire countries) hate and reserve worse punishments for traitors than they do for captured enemy combatants. Not to say these turncoat women or anyone else should ever be subjected to vio.lence even as they ignore and minimize the vio.lence done to others. But I don't trust them, won't leave my kids with them, won't befriend them, won't hire them, let them.handle my money or represent me legally. I cancel them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 08:20 PM
10

It happens in H'wood-- 40/50-something women sexualizing teen boys. It's pretty gross. There are older women in the film industry who do this, usually former Pickmes who aged out of bangmaid target status as they humped themselves into middling industry careers. They're far from feminists, more like men with boobs who've internalized the most ab.usive male values. The same women will never protect other women from sexual harassment or assault. In fact, the same women tend to act as pimps and cov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 06:58 PM
17

And booze and porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 06:46 PM
2

I was thinking of that scene exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 06:45 PM
4

That's what they do. It's do gross. Star "posses" or retinues are basically pimps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 06:43 PM
15

I have quite a list of much older famous douches I turned down before getting married (a long time ago). Back in the day (when dinosaurs roamed and Nicholas Cage would stand at the exit to clubs drunkenly propositioning every barely legal chick who walked by) my attitude wasn't considered "cool" but I didn't care. I owe my FDS-ish group of friends in NY for helping me form rock solid boundaries against being used that way because they passed on the lore and stories of how women would get consume…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 06:41 PM
3

Truth is funny. I think that old bullshit about women not being funny was because FDS style thinking/humor were so universally verbotten that women couldn't even think the thoughts much less say the words even as recently as a decade or 15 years ago. Now it seems like that genie is never going back in the bottle. It's almost mainstream.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 06:22 PM
31

He doesn't understand what entitled means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 06:12 PM
4

I don't care how prohibitively expensive and gentrified NYC gets, curb-side condoms on a sweltering summer day are still the marker of urban life. Maybe the sperm has a bigger investment portfolio and the hookers cost more than they used to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 05:29 PM
4

I saw that as a kid and felt violated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 04:08 AM
11

Woody Allan films always revolted me. At least Polanski is personality disordered enough that nearly every film is a kind of confession about how predators operate. But Allan's only "confessional" or honest film is probably Zelig.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 06:26 AM
1

Why we don't need bullets. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 04:09 AM
121

I had such a hard time not gagging when a coworker shared the creepy, crappy hiakus some older asshole texted her. She thought they were romantic which depressed me. They were about as romantic as stepping on a used condom on a 100 degree day. It ended exactly as I foresaw-- his wife found out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 04:08 AM
3

Thanks for the kitty eye bleach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 03:56 AM
5

You dodged about a dozen bullets. But all's well that ends well or at least not as horribly as it started. It will take years to heal but you're taking steps. I think in this world, every woman is recovering from something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 04:49 PM
12

I was an advocate for dv survivors and never encountered a ba.ttered woman who had any leftover emotional resources to monkey branch and really get free. Sometimes victims would end up with another ab.user playing rescuer in the course of having a dalliance here and there to make their virtual imprisonment less unbearable or give themselves the illusion of free choice. The latter was more likely to occur in a situation of emotional ab.use and financial control, but I never saw this happen when t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 04:04 PM
21

I edit an environmental publication. We report on toxic dumping, cancer and epilepsy spikes, cellular efects of heavy metals, etc. Since I can't just write six paragraphs of all-caps curse words, I'll break it up by quoting the occasional Restoration poet or Greek mythology. 🤟
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 02:38 AM
37

Long before I got married, I had been cast as wife material. But like the Procrustean bed, when it turns out I don't really fit the trope, they would try to cut off the parts of me that didn't fit. Basically, hell hath no fury like douche with no imagination whose stereotypes are disappointed. I put two men in jail. How's that for "wife material"? 😈 Edit: misspelled Procrustean. 🤓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 12:05 AM
3

🎆🎉🎊🎃🎄🎈🎁🏅🏆🎯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 11:58 PM
21

I hope this guy is the real deal but read the James Ellroy book or see the film version of LA Confidential for a tutorial on why men hating/fearing men doesn't mean the same guy is necessarily safe around women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 11:57 PM
5

https://youtu.be/yl_FXbNrq9o Here's a link for the 60 Min episode that works internationally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 05:58 PM
45

Give models too much money and power and they won't, say, fuck gross old dudes and end up biting the hand that feeds them (industrial power). For example, Gisele Bündchen-- arguably the last real supermodel-- marrying a sports star close to her own age and going on the record to diss GMO food. It doesn't matter that she never did a junk food campaign. Fashion and advertising giants and media behemoths all sit on the same industrial think tanks and corporate bill mills as big food and petrol comp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:00 AM
96

I was a fashion model in NY in the 90s. Editorial, runway and fashion/beauty models didn't do more than shave the sides for bathing suit modeling because only porn models waxed. Pubic hair was a bit like the entitled Sneetches with stars on thars because fashon models had a horror of being mistaken for porn or Snap-on Tools models. But that was back when even run of the mill catalogue models made $2000+ an hour. Now a lot of models make little more than porn performers, the industry avoids creat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 06:10 PM
9

Because waxing is dangerous and risks deadly staph (which is sexually transmissible according to the CDC), I wish women would go back to the full 70s bush and stop normalizing "bare infant crotch" for young girls to emulate in order to appease pedo porn zombies.https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19931620/bikini-waxing-dangers/ There have been women who got genital MRSA (antibiotic resistant staph) from shaving or waxing who had to have parts of their labias removed. Actually pubic hair exis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 05:02 PM
2

I think this is why people figure she just aged really badly. I imagine he's, say, 73. They met when she was a 24 yr old intern and he was 46, just got a promotion and was still married to wife #1 with a pack of minor kids. Wife dumps him when she finds out about the secret porn and parking lot bonking and he loses his shirt in the divorce. He moves into Pickmeisha's 600 sf condo to save money. At first she's victorious that she won the Pickme standoff. She doubles down on the "true love" alibi.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 04:07 PM
1

Richard Wrangham, primatologist and author of the arguably radfem Demonic Males: Apes and the Evolution of Human Violence, authored a theory that early humans made the leap to language because gossip was a way to keep tabs on mates. In other words, humans evolved as more or less monogamous. That also addresses your point that humans are something different than apes-- yes, it seems we went in our own direction in many ways. Not enough though. One key difference between regular chimps and bonobos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 06:14 AM
92

And apparently they will marry women they are meh about for this or that reason (status, their parents’ desires, wanting kids) and later treat them poorly and/or discard them. I think it's more about narcissistic limerance being temporary. Also, cheaters tend to backfill their entire relationships once they start cheating just as ba.tterers do. They will swear they "always'" had doubts and "never" really loved their partners,forgetting those times they clung from her window ledge screaming "Stel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 04:27 PM
4

The rapist's crimes weren't all over the headlines baci then but there were many people in that company who knew the buzz and knew what the founder waa about. Those people ended up covered in shit once the accusers went public and those of us who'd left in a hail of ugly gossip and criticism were exonerated. That part was pretty satisfying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 05:16 AM
8

Pickmes: Keeping scrotes occupied and off the market since time immemorial. There should be a national Pickme Day and special Pickme bouquets (wilted, crumbling Valentine's Day roses) available through United Florists to thank the local Pickme population for services rendered. Does that sound mean? Probably. Did I mention the scrote the Pickme in the earlier vingette was bonking turned out t be married with minor kids? Or that she and her Pickme office squad castigated other women who quit the c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 07:36 PM
2

"...they might lose their marriages, children, are end up scrote-ing around in their 60s and 70s..." 😆🤣😆🤣😆 That's so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 07:15 PM
6

I can't agree. Read Wrangham and Peterson. The carbon dating is off by 5m years. Wrangham makes the point that even without the concrete evidence, you can pretty much tell by human history that we hail from the rapey ape. I suspect the porn industry, poly folks and pop primatologists (Frans de Waal, bleah) are popularizing the idea that we're closer cousins with the nicer chimps. Many people find it comforting and the sex industry likes it because, if humans are dyed in the wool, solidly, geneti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 06:54 PM
71

In the same way cheating is just a less athletic, less legally risky form of dv, destroying your sentimental belongings is a way of covertly exercising control and dominance. It's psychopathic. The key factor is that the ab.user sees themselves as taking back control and dominance that they paranoically (and deludedly) believe their victim has deviously hijacked from them in order to "unman" them. It fits with the "masked dependency" theory of dv: ab.users, with their demented attachment disorde…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 03:39 PM
18

You cannot beat them at their game while on their playing field because you'll have to eat shit to keep playing. Eating shit changes you. I've seen women try this. It never pays off. It's hard to give up hope on a relationship. But to quote a Taoist expression, "If you want the universe to fill your rice bowl, clean it out." Another way to look at it is if you want to attract "dolphins" (better quality, loyal, amazing people) get the sharks out of your tank pronto.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 02:59 PM
22

That brings up painful memories of a coworker back when I was pregnant. I recall how she victoriously described getting an older scrote to confess love: "So I said to him, 'Do you have feelings for me or are you just using me?'" What was he going to say? He let her do some more Cirque de Soleil back flips off the headboard, launder his socks and clean his pee ring from around her toilet for a few more months before dumping her. She had a lot of competitive hubris about methods of "keeping a man,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 02:50 PM
5

The NGO example pretty much settles it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 02:11 PM
24

Not always true. Humans are most closely related to the regular rapey chimp. Some poly fanatics and pop scientists try to claim that we're more closely related to the kinder-gentler feminist bonobo chimp but carbon dating, biology (and one glance at human history) argue against this. While it seems discouraging at first to admit that humans literally evolved as vio.lent, warring, ba.ttering, infanticidal rapists, the only way to improve things is to start with an accurate model of human behavior…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 01:49 PM
17

Clay Pigeons is another scarily apt non-sexual bromance with a twist. The twist is that the target of the predator's "buddy" affection originally attracted the predator by showing a little "predatory-ness" himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 01:24 PM
13

No post on poly is complete without the Chris Flemming video. https://youtu.be/DTsdKycVZZ4 For real, the photo illustration for the article shows some idealized couple fucking instead of what are probably the musty-haired maggots in the real story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 04:31 AM
22

To the OP: You're depressed because you had an encounter with a sleazy creep pretending to be an okay, honest guy, that's all. Depression is just the gap you fall into when your gut instincts are being scuttled and contradicted by bs. Sure a lot of men are like this but not all. He's not representative, just dirt common. Rule 1) Any married guy engaging in pillow talk/discussing his love/sex life with female coworkers is a cheater. The OP wrote, "He feels he's missing out and he said his biggest…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 02:59 PM
28

Unfortunately it's difficult to distinguish chivalry from rivalry, aka "mate poacher" behavior, where the real point is to triangulate and outdo a rival: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550615623843?journalCode=sppa#:~:text=Mate%20poaching%20tactics%20are%20varied,initiate%20sex%20with%20the%20target%20(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 02:45 PM
70

Women can do that for other women come to think of it. See another woman on a date and ask where she gets her hair done, then add, "But you'd make any style look amazing. You're gorgeous." Then watch how the guy reacts: 1.) Nodding and saying to her, "See, I told you you look amazing"; 2) Suddenly realizing she has value because he couldn't see it himself; 3) Getting pissed when his red pilll game gets foiled and calling his date and you lesbos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 02:36 PM
2

There were many toxic bystanders in the case of Laundrie's ab.use, so I'm guessing the Petito family is in for a rough and complicated aftermath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 03:33 AM
2

If the perp is dead and there were no toxic bystanders enabling or allowing, the rage portion of grief has nowhere to go and fades faster. The dead perp can't take on mythic properties like a live perp can so hate softens and you sort of humanize the perp and even feel sorry for whatever fucked up childhood led them on that path, which is nauseating and character defining at the same time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 03:31 AM
14

I'm so glad they fired him. Justice is the best PTSD treatment. But I'm guessing DCF must have been reluctant to rid themselves of such a useful hypocrite which may be an added (aside from the usual institutional misogyny) reason you and your mother could not get justice for so long. DCF has been in the process of privatizing for years, making agencies in many states into trafficking arms for private adoption and foster care corporations, some of which are subsidiaries of private prison corporat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 06:02 PM
87

3-6: all cheating behaviors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 04:04 AM
40

My brain automatically filled that in as "ass holier than thou." 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 04:52 PM
29

The best PTSD treatment is justice. I wish you the best and that you'll be surrounded by understanding supporters and prevail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 02:42 PM
2

I once gave the "benefit of the doubt" to a guy I worked with who got divorced. But he slipped later and gave away the real reason-- or better said, his backfilled, bullshit, DARVO excuse for having cheated on his ex. I thought it was funny when I learned his ex quickly remarried and went on to have several kids with a very famous, enormously wealthy guy. She heads charity commissions now. Gotta do something with all that loot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 12:48 PM
5

It happened in my extended family years ago. I think there's a tortureome rage/injustice portion of grief that might get cut short if the perp doesn't outlive the victim because even from prison the perp can't, say, taste ice cream anymore or feel a warm spring breeze or hear the birds sing, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 12:40 PM
13

Applause. Aptly stated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 04:57 AM
8

Well I kind of assume that, like what'd he get up to that she kicked him out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 07:10 AM
5

That's so descriptive. It's like I'm there smelling them. Ew, lol..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 05:40 AM
10

Standard faux redemption. Sickening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 05:39 AM
10

Of course. It's hard to say how the Petito family would respond to Laundrie being dissed-- appeased/rectified or saddened? I've seen so many different kinds of grief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 05:37 AM
50

Not typically a fan of country but Dirty Laundrie by Carrie Underwood is an apt response to misogynist trolls. Yeah, I'ma have to hang you out to dry, dry, dry Clothespin all your secrets to the line, line, line Leave 'em blowing in the wind, just say goodbye to you All those midnights sneaking in I'm late again, oh, I'm so sorry All the Ajax in the world ain't gonna clean your dirty laundry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 03:20 PM
55

I'm laughing but not sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 03:13 PM
41

I think the parent who found the bag surrepticiously tried to destroy the notebook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 03:11 PM
69

I agree. Think of Ted Bundy in prison and don't expect any real closure from perps. Had he not killed himself, Laundrie would have just played to the misogyist peanut gallery by fabricating flaws in Gabby's character and fomented a little douche brigade to desacrate Gabby's name even further. Laundrie might even have attracted a few hybristophilic prison groupies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 03:10 PM
40

He's not worthy of love. He's a petty monster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 05:21 AM
48

Age gap matters. It signals to ab.users that a victim may be more easily controlled or may indicate abusers' pedo tendencies and pedos are statistically violence prone. But otherwise a victim's relative youth and attractiveness don't have much bearing on whether she'll be a victim of dv or not. The average age of women mu.rdered by intimates in the UK over the past few years was about 50-- around the age when many women increase efforts to escape because they reach a breaking point with marital …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 04:13 PM
25

And the actor's a creep who tries to hook up even in the most inappropriate situations then sulks when it's not happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 01:43 PM
11

Cheaters, like ba.tterers, can't "move on" unless the primary partner is dead or otherwise inactivated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:46 AM
17

I heard too many stories about ba.tterers who were "violent for the first time" when betrayed partners discovered the truth and tried to leave. That's why I started thinking of cheating as the less athletic, less legally risky form of ba.ttering. The fists come out eventually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:43 AM
50

You mentioned that cheating can be a red flag for viol.ence down the line. True. I was an advocate for dv survivors and recognize a lot of overlaps between cheating and ba.ttering. All ba.tterers cheat because most operate on a "beat-by-need" basis, meaning they'll only resort to vio.lence when less legally risky, less athletic methods fail to produce desired results. The desired results of cheating are generally for the ab.user to dilute their own infantile dependency on a partner and weaken th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:02 PM
10

Urm, yeah, several "amazing husbands" I worked with who did the whole "involved dad" act hit on me. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 01:41 PM
0

You mean some guy coopted something women had been doing all along, spun it to male advantage by making it oppressively rigid and then took credit for it? When has that ever happened before?? From one disability mom to another, my support of the practice was not meant as a personal attack on you anymore than the fact I wore my kids to work is an attack on mothers with spina bifida.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:26 AM
18

Or breeding with a LVM and tied to them forever even after divorce. The horror.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 05:52 AM
50

You're 20 and I've been married longer than that, yet we agree this doesn't bode well for the long term. I would love to tell the would-be groomsman's wife what her "amazing" husband did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 05:42 AM
93

"There were men in the store but they stood back and did nothing." Note to self: when filming public harassment of or assaults on women, catch a few views of men standing around doing nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 05:34 AM
47

That should be a warning sign posted in all parks: a strike-through silhouette of a couple walking with paper cups. https://images.app.goo.gl/5rnBWsoMMWi3YwsQ6
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 04:09 PM
25

Yikes, the fry porno baby voice. She'll sound like the demon in The Exorcist in less than 20 years. So hard on the vocal cords.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 06:04 AM
2

I wish someone would. I'm sure there's an interesting progression, like the history of how the moneyed classes began using crack.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 03:57 AM
3

Um, you're opinion. I understand the practical risks involved with that level of parenting but, regardless, it's another thing entirely to argie that it's never good for kids. I'm second gen radfem but co-slept with all three kids and breastfed all three past 2 yrs old. I figured parenting is an "invest now or pay later" arrangement. It worked out and I have zero regrets, particularly when I see other parents going into major crises when their kids hit their teens and we have it relatively easy.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 08:03 PM
6

Wall St. frat douches in the late 90s used it on models and laughed about it in drunken circle jerks. Har har she thought she was all that but I showed her... The idea was that models think too much of themselves so the only way to fuck them was to bring them down a notch. Except everyone did this so models were really the most dumped-on group of women. You have to wonder if the pimp tact spread from some trader who got busted with coke on a plane and learned a few pimps-up/hos-down tricks while…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:33 AM
44

DO NOT SHIT WHEREST THOU EAT. AMEN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 02:01 PM
15

I think the takeaway is that personality disordered men never love the one they're currently with the most but only once they're gone. The second any woman agrees to marry them, she ceases to be "the one."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 01:49 PM
170

When I was modeling in NY in my late teens, it was definitely a thing but no one really recognized it as a thing. A few of us compared notes after being subjected to it on dates but there were no stand up comics or self help gurus naming the behavior or spreading the word. Parents were no help because they'd never heard of such a thing (my dad was a NY native and combat vet). Then I asked a male friend, a brilliant, street smart jazz musician from the Bronx, what this was. He cocked his head and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 12:51 PM
2

I never dealt with blood and gore directly and I doubt whether I would make a good first responder. But as far as interfacing with people emerging from trauma and hearing the blow-by-blow stories, I was able to handle it pretty quickly. We didn't provide psych services, just practical support and resources, but knowing the story of each individual is critical either way so we weren't spared any details. I tend to be very emotional but I understood what my role was and stuck to it in that circums…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 05:54 AM
43

I know several people who did fine having kids after 40... all women married to younger men. But I don't know any old dads who rocked the role. One local guy married a Honduran woman 20 years younger than him. They got pregnant by ivf. He demanded the baby's room be on a different floor so he wouldn't lose his old gramps beauty sleep. When his daughter could toddle, he stuck an intimidating gate and lock across the adult bedroom door (minus "keep out" sign with skull and crossbones) to keep the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 03:21 AM
10

I was thinking the same thing. DV between men gets extremely violent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 03:56 PM
29

Former dv advocate here. That's a watered down statistic and includes any minor booboo the perp may incur, including, say, barking his shin on a toy chest while chasing his victim. But in terms of serious injuries, 98.5% are to women in hetero dv situations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 03:54 PM
1

You're so lucky you didn't get sucked in. Gray's Anatomy first aired in 2005 and tween girls your age were watching it religiously. I worked with someone maybe a year older than you who developed some kind of parasocial relationahip with Dr McDouchy (Patrick Dempsey) from age 12. It wásn't hard to figure out that she kept trying to act out the plot in her personal life by fucking older married superiors at work. That didn't end well. She was also an alcoholic like the main protagonist. Pretty to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 10:47 AM
28

I found it helped to get involved in efforts to stop the offenses. I went sort of functionally numb as an advocate for dv survivors. I knew I wasn't callous but just numb enough not to be paralyzed and struck dumb from too much exposure to horror. It can shut a victim right down if the person who's supposed to be helping them makes it all about their own (the helper's) emotion and reactions. You have to feel but not so much that you're rendered useless. The curious thing was how inspired I ended…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 05:50 AM
1

It's definitely from Gray's Anatomy. Barf. https://youtu.be/O9Swo1anaCE The shelter should not have harked upon Pickme bs that turned a few generations of tweens and teens into today's groveling, ba.ttered kinkmeishas as a promo. It would be like quoting "Fifty Shades." Not cute, bad juju.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 04:54 AM
5

Most of Dutton's work is clinical since he spent decades studying wife ab.users and partner ki.llers in prison settings. But a few of his works like *The Bat.terer" are more accessibly written. Still not drugstore rack bestsellers though so no e-book or audio-book versions yet. I figure these more accessible works may have been attempts to reach out the public directly as a means to affect official policies towards dv. Not sure but there's a sense these books are sort of corrective myth busting,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 04:45 AM
30

Also no "ab.use reading list" is complete without criminologist Donald Dutton's The Bat.terer. It's like Lundy Bancroft with peer reviewed research citations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/21 10:31 PM
76

I'm skeptical of the term too. Remember when organic food was just "food"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/21 07:20 AM
5

I think generational warfare between women is just a wider, canned media version of this. Boomer this, millennial that, though I've noticed it's mostly younger trashing/blaming older. It may have begun on twitter but commercial media decides which flash in the pan trends "go viral" or often wags the dog entirely, fabricating fake trends that then become real. And dividing and conquering women along any line available- race, economics, age, etc.-- is a favorite dog-wagging trick of commercial med…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/21 04:14 PM
32

Durrdurr....😆🤣😆🤣😆🤣😆 Spot on, love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/21 05:21 AM
5

It's never "old news." A couple of literary quotes to frame my perspective: "If a way to the better there be, it exacts a full look at the worst." Thomas Hardy. And for all his personal iffyness, I like this quote from Camus: "I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain! One always finds one’s burden again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 04:12 PM
70

I'm not sure in all cases of course, but I'm guessing it's mostly defensive. For instance, I didn't fill out the bio section of my page on an international group that organizes activities for travelers and expats. Then I learned many men on the site were using this as a dating/hookup app, so I filled out the bio emphasizing stuff about just me first, then mentioning at the bottom the fact I'm a married mom. Still got hit up. Then I put wife and mother first. What I learned is there's a whole uni…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 12:05 PM
52

The first thing any renter I knew would do in NYC when starting a new lease is change the locks and/ or install some new ones. I have no idea if this was legal but no landlord ever said boo about it. In older units, doors typically had a bunch of locks, some of which didn't have keys anymore, so you'd call the locksmith and have them all replaced. If you held the lease, roommates and guests never got all the keys to all the working locks. I never gave the landlord copies of new keys and no landl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 11:50 AM
3

There's apparently quite a depressing number of porn videos in circulation in streaming services where the performers are already dead-- from od, suicide, violence, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 04:12 AM
3

The commenter gave the "rather be hung for a sheep than a lamb" rationale. The idea is that there's an equal risk of being hung either way, but statistics don't show that. Sex work is generally more dangerous and scarring than, say, being a pharmacist, lawyer, account manager, politician, shoe designer, etc. Not that any woman lives without risk but it's a matter of degree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 04:15 PM
10

The way he writes gives the impression he probably smells like old farts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 04:06 PM
12

Hathaway admitted to being in recovery from serious alcoholism. Betting she.started drinking around the time she made Bride Wars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:44 AM
11

Testosterone increases risk of oxidative stress and related brain damage from pollution and pesticides. And it makes them more aggressive. Fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 04:33 AM
53

That's so weird. Women with personality disorders do the same thing-- keep brazenly circling back to the friendships and work relationships they wrecked as if hijacking civility from the people they betray will polish their image as "not a psycho." Maybe it's just turf grabbing to keep making an ego meal of a past target. Meanwhile, normal people typically don't want to revisit things that end in disaster. I'm going to venture a guess that personality disorders are just more common among men sin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 05:52 PM
13

I'm almost 5'9" and long married. But I can remember gradually becoming aware of men's height insecurity to the point that I wouldn't even consider anyone shorter than me. Too much hassle. Fashion industry hubs like NY, LA, London, etc., attract a lot of model toinkers. Some short dudes wanted the status perk of dating someone "supermodel height" but don't like how this exposes them as shorter than the height listed on their driver's licenses. That type would argue with me about my actual height…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 05:35 PM
13

Jezebel is just a faux alt cockroach marketing platform. For enough money, they'll get some hipster she-shill to spray eau-de-libfem over some crappy product or other, dangerous industrial practice, pseudo-ideological marketing Svengali or political policy that women might otherwise reject or be critical of. It's a tool for corporate power to herd shallow liberals. Prozac for newborns. Yay. Formaldehyde in tampons. Weee. Being choked out and ass-fucked by porn-addled randos. GroOoOoVy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 07:01 AM
5

I'm a little wary of using Twelve Step language from Alcoholics Anonymous in application to ab.used women. I think perhaps breaking free from a dominant paradigm in general involves personal evolution-- seeing the downside or dark side of the system. I don't disagree if it's stated in a general political sense (consumers breaking free from chronic consumption, men giving up white male privileges, etc). But I just don't agree with using the AA term "hitting bottom" specifically for ab.use victims…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 07:29 PM
14

I think people actually have to "train" for anal sex unless one party has a particularly naturally loose (?) sphincter and the other a particularly tiny dick. Otherwise nothing bigger or harder than a suppository is going to fit without forcing or severe pain. Because of this, it makes sense that a sadist prefers somone not already "trained" and "dilated" or whatever the expression is. As someone mentioned, the "adjustment" process seems more understandable in gay relationships since men have pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 06:39 PM
79

Every time I read something this brilliantly funny, my hope for humanity and the future of the planet increase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 04:14 PM
21

He gets his own shoes and apron.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 04:12 PM
7

It's really trippy stuff. Males are apparently bad "methylators". I suspect this is the reason certain modern congenital neuro disorders typically affect male children 4 or 5:1. A few chemicals used in fracking brine are more toxic to females.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 08:04 AM
4

Completely gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 06:36 AM
8

I guess trolls don't like tall countries-- I got downvoted, boo. 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 06:35 AM
1

Hard to bid on Ebay without knowing international sizes. I still don't understand Argentine vs. Euro though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 06:34 AM
11

Lol, I've been married forever. I'm not traveling anywhere for men unless they're doing something interesting like Butoh dance in Japan or singing fado in Portugal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 06:31 AM
13

Also, in the chemical shitstorm era, the longer dad's been on the planet, the more time his body has to soak up mutagenic toxins and pass that damaged DNA to offspring. Testosterone is actually synergistic with all heavy metals and most industrial chemicals-- meaning testosterone increases the toxicity. Meanwhile, estrogen is mostly protective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 04:41 AM
13

Great points.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 04:34 AM
9

Bulgaria, Estonia and Rwanda just gained a few points. 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 04:33 AM
73

Travel to the Netherlands or Rwanda. North Americans are getting shorter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 07:16 PM
11

Average size for women in the US: 5'3", 170 LBs, size 16-18 dress (UK 18-20), size 8 shoe (UK size 6), 37.5 inch waist. The average for British women is 5'3", 155 lbs and slightly smaller feet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 07:08 PM
26

Subtract 2 from Brit size to convert to US size-- UK16= US14. He's either seeking an apple body (like his own-- fair play!) or has a pregnancy fetish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:56 PM
956

Tubby toddler body, pushing forty and gnarly beard to cover the double chins. Hot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:51 PM
388

115 LBs and size 12-16 waist? He wants an malnourished pregnant woman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:48 PM
54

I'd rather eat fried eggs cooked by a master chef than moules marinières prepared by the Burger King fry boy. Intimacy can make the simplist things transportive. Lack of it can make Cirque de Soleil antics boring or laughable which is why hookups so often depend on booze, drugs and danger to spice things up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:09 PM
146

People on psychotropic meds with tons of risky side effects always want everyone else (or their kids) to take them. People in creepy cults always want others to join. Getting others to do the same iffy things allays niggling, intuitive doubts about the thing being done-- that maybe it's not so healthy, not so safe. The more who join, the more the thing is normalized and the more those doubts can be quelled. It's not only wonderful things that people feel compelled to "share."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 05:52 PM
4

I'm curious as well but won't watch porn even to investigate it (those empty, frightened eyes, shudder, wail). I imagine there's some amount of "hoisting" and flipping and weak men who pathetically want to feel "powerful" target tiny women. Anyone been to the dark side and lived to tell?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 05:35 PM
4

It only hurts when I laugh. 😯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:47 AM
4

P.s.-- I hate that credo that "you attract what you put out." Bullshit. What about child rape victims? People in wheelchairs being treated marginally? Racism? Is the Genius Grant anthropologist who dresses in frumpy sweaters and old trainers treated poorly by the stupid Starbucks barrista because the anthropologist doesn't respect herself or because she respects herself on a higher scale? At worst the attitude that we attract what we put out is just victim blaming. At the very least, the view pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 08:34 PM
4

Nothing to do with attracting men, just as an anti-street harassment strategy: baggy clothes as a street defense never worked for me or anyone I know. The catcalling and crude comments only stopped when I took the advice of my mother and a friend who worked in fashion. My mother (brilliant, started her career in NYC) explained that the most insulting, dehumanizing part of street harassment is that it's not really aimed at us but at our supposed male "owners"-- our dads, boyfriends, husbands. It …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 08:07 PM
73

It means the guy is physically weak. Not that a HV type would do any porny, unconsented spinning but it wouldn't be a question of capacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 06:19 PM
24

It sounds as if you're talking about school or work more than men. If someone steals your college thesis, you bust them to authorities. If someone is angling to take your coveted job in unfair ways, you're allowed to fight back- covertly if need be. In those arenas, fighting for what's rightfully yours is completely acceptable. If you need reasons why this doesn't apply to intimate relationships, google "mate poaching + dark triad." If a serious partner can be poached, the actually clinical verd…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 06:04 PM
1

I'm laughing in mystical feminine unity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 05:01 AM
0

Are you being serious? There are quite a few notable male authors. Fiction, nonfiction, poetry. It seems one nifty trick to be enduring and keep selling books hundreds of years after death is (gasp) to depict women as human. Too bad more modern male authors don't catch on. Khaled Hosseini did. He's doing very well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 04:59 AM
11

From what I've seen, except for the cliched busted cheater who blames it all on the "harlot" side chick for leading him "astray," it's mostly bystander men defending "other women" on principle. I wonder if they're afraid the bad press might thin the pool of potential side dishes? But women do it too. I think most bystanders don't understand the dynamics of adultery-- that cheating is often just a less athletic form of dv-- so they respond in all sorts of chaotic ways. Many think they're helping.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 09:23 PM
10

Even if he cobbled a few sentences at the start, I wouldn't call that writing. I could barely get through excerpts in a paper on misogynist violence in fiction. I just had to see why this guy makes $90m a year. I'm flummoxed. “This is a fantasy game,” he explained. “It’s all just a game, darling. I play with three other men — in England, Jamaica and Thailand. Their names are Famine, War, and Conqueror. My name is Death. You’re a very lucky girl — I’m the best player of all" (then the serial kill…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 06:00 PM
1

I never read Pet Cemetary. Are we to guess he's terrible in bed? You'd never know it to look at him (lol).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 05:45 PM
35

Modern crime fiction writers in in general are competing for who can write the most graphically gory, pornographic rape and femicide scenes. Sadly, many of these authors are women and more than half the readers of this format are women. Patterson is the worst offender and the most prolific (uses a sausage factory of bad ghost writers). Stieg Larsen couched it in feminist plots. https://thefword.org.uk/2009/09/larrson_review/ It's gotten so out of control that a woman reviewer refused to review a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 12:52 PM
11

Guilty of it. Then he wrote Rose Madden. Mixed bag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 12:31 PM
49

-side, definitely. Women live an average of seven years longer than men. Imagining someone actually marries for love, who wants to be widowed for decades?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 07:53 AM
46

James Patterson, David Baldacci or any of the misogynist rapey-gruesome-snuff-porn crime fiction hacks. Keep your guard up with anyone who reads this poorly written sick shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 07:41 AM
9

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 04:16 AM
8

Corporate types too. Huge turnoff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 04:13 AM
8

Sometimes the little prank oportunity doesn't arise but the badass friends are a must. We kind of free ourselves from our own mushy, deadly limerance traps by being humorous about shit relationships. Finding the badass allies involves taking risks a lot like dating. You might make a humorous remark to the wrong person to test the water but keep throwing the net wide and you'll find them. The key thing is that they must be nicer to women. Some supposedly "funny" women are just Pickme misogynists.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 10:40 PM
31

I dated a lot of men before getting married. I can attest that it never works out with the ones who ask lists of job interview-type questions. At the very least they lack intuition about others and a sense of humor and are setting themselves up for women to spout whatever the guy wants to hear. These types of men can be disastrously naive. If they're in business, they get ripped off and choose bad partners a lot. There are less crude and more efffective and organic ways to get to know people tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 09:44 PM
23

What a worthless POS. The new toy is going to eventually need combat pay. The reason the OP feels so "old" is likely from the toxic effects of living with a characterless douche. People with character don't monkey branch like that. If there had been genuine incompatibility all along, someone with character would talk about it and there wouldn't be the sudden violent transformation and surprise. The fact that his personality changed so radically sounds the same as the porn zombie shift which sugg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 09:13 PM
38

Just to qualify what I'm going to say because it's a bit controversial: I was raised agnostic so my attitude towards things like forgiveness, the purpose of anger and revenge don't tend to reflect typical Christian or other religious ethos though I've had interesting conversations with theologians about it. Otherwise I respect faith as a faculty. I believe in morality if not scripture. I don't think science has all the answers though it can be useful if not corrupted by typical human expediency …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 08:31 PM
4

The dv resource service I worked with referred to the works of Richard Gelles, Donald Dutton and Lenore Walker a lot, especially Dutton. For the study by Sykes and Matza, Google Denying the Darkness: Exploring the Discourse of Neutralization of Bundy, Gacy and Dahmer. The study on rape myth acceptance and infidelity tolerance here: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S019188691730404X#:~:text=Infidelity%20tolerance%20and%20rape%20myth%20acceptance%20are%20attitudes%20related%20…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 05:02 AM
12

Infidelity apologism has become a kind of cottage industry these days with all sorts of Ted Talks and editorial media spin devoted to casting cheating as "not ab.use" on whatever grounds (evo-psych, poly, etc). But as a former dv survivors' advocate, I see it as part and parcel with dv, including the existance of a market for apologias because guilt is ugly and perps perpetually seek relief from it. To the extent that cheating is merely a less athletic, less legally risky form of ba.ttering, che…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 08:23 PM
22

That was a Murdoch publication.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 05:48 AM
17

I can understand a very young woman falling for the artsy douche act at first. But who in their right mind would go for oldster Mike?? Bleah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 05:33 AM
37

This is so true. Extended family members also frequently bail on special needs kids even if dad doesn't. Moms quite often end up carrying the weight alone unless they can build a network within the special needs parent community. But even in the latter case, the network will be among other beleaguered, overstressed parents who are usually living under tombstones of medical debt and with typical caretaker injuries and caretaker health syndromes themselves, so it's a bit like drowning people holdi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 06:03 PM
6

I was just watching the doc Ted Bundy: Falling For a Killer and realized what bothers me so much about these hate-filled generational comparisons that have become so popular-- boomer this, millennial that, etc. It's like women believe any generation can be summed up by A) the few relatively few women any woman personally gets to know; or B ) what male media overlords allow to be said in the media. The view is rather dick-filtered. I'm still struggling to put this little insight into words. The t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 05:28 PM
2

🙊 we don't speak no monkey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 09:43 PM
27

In the US, the boomer gen were raised during Jim Crow by emotionally destroyed WWII and Korean war veterans and women who couldn't serve on juries, buy condoms or wear pants at work. Severe corporal punishment of children was the norm and then the earlier boomers were drafted in the Vietnam war. Boomers and Xers are generally children of war-- Cold War and actual war.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 03:56 PM
10

1929 to 33. There was a recession in the late 30s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 03:43 PM
18

The baby boomer gen spanned from 46 to 64 so the tail end generally didn't have depression era parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 03:41 PM
2

To write her book, Margaret Mead spent three weeks living with white people on the T'au island and failed to ask the teenage tribal girls she interviewed a few hours a day between lunch and tea time about ritual rape ("nightcrawling," when teenage boys snuck into huts at night and raped girls), the punishment for suspected female adultery (bat.tering or death) and the tradition of lethally raiding other tribes to steal women (why such a huge percentage of men died in battle). Even if some uncont…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 03:15 PM
2

A few years ago, I suffered through Simon Baron-Cohen's (the unfunny cousin of Sacha) The Science of Evil in which he cites grossly racist junk science to argue the (patently fascist) case for genetic criminality while gooily dripping with liberal sentiments (in case the reader identifies the gist as... fascist). As I was reading, I kept thinking that as long as he's off being wrong about evolution, genetics, basic human history, etc., when's he going to start waxing wrong about women? He didn't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 07:32 AM
2

Amen. One thing women definitely have on men is that, left to our druthers, we don't compartmentalize as much and tend to generally view things holistically, of a piece and interrelatedly. When women are silenced and marginalized, so is the more holistic perspective and the foresight that comes with it. For instance, women are more apt to notice that the explosion of violent porn isn't happening in a vacuum, that it reflects a certain societal trajectory and is causing a shift at the same time t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 06:56 AM
3

Wow, things are getting so bad these days. The demented freaks are fomenting. It's like the Capitol riot was a latter day Beer Hall Putsch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 06:32 AM
19

You are to scrotes what Erin Brockovich is to toxic water corporations. I'm sure this ties into neoliberalism in more than just an analogous way if we look at how regulatory capture by corporations (aka, "public-private partnerships" with regulatory agencies as cover for legal graft) is used to shape societal attitudes in sweeping ways. For example, toxic corporations largely co-fund government junk psychiatry (Dr. Peter and Ginger Breggin''s Toxic Psychiatry), junk anthropology (David Price's W…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 10:53 PM
55

Your Honor, I don't feel I should be prosecuted for human trafficking and enslavement of the plaintiff. Why did he go to the gym for years and build all those muscles if he didn't want to do hard labor lifting boulders on a chain gang in a remote stone quarry?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 07:47 PM
56

Who's to say she didn't just tire of his pasty pablum mug and dad bod? No matter how many times I see that guy's picture in the press, I can't remember his face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 05:10 AM
19

Yuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:38 PM
17

In his eye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:34 PM
29

And then they had children and the children robbed him for school supplies, food and college funds!.He got dad scammed! And here I thought he'd be alone on his deathbed like I will be instead of living a decade longer than me and surrounded at the end by loving family and a bunch of grand children and great grand children. Fool!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:32 PM
1

And when the spine compresses, the hips spread-- future hip fractures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:17 PM
6

I know. What was the dad of the kids doing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:15 PM
2

Ah, dad. He died in 2008 but had a curiously FDS-ish view of relationship rules. He wasn't perfect. He never fully recovered from PTSD and would occasionally talk to walls. I would ask him who he was talking to and he would joke, "Private conversation." He didn't have much luck with psychotherapists who, in those days, blamed everything on mothers while my dad blamed everything on men. So he managed his lingering trauma through art and by reading stacks of books on sociology, feminism, ecology a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:12 PM
6

Jury consultants often advise the prosecution to keep certain types of women off the jury in rape trials because the more the potential jurist fears she could be victimized in the same way, the more she might distance herself from the victim, mentally fabricating arbitrary reasons why the victim got herself raped and why she, the potential jurist, wouldn't. It's sometimes called the "safe world effect"-- belief in the fallacy that bad things only happen to bad people, particularly when the bysta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 09:38 AM
32

I wouldn't have been able to eat anything that creep touched. Btw, what the hell was her husband doing while she defends herself and child welfare?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 09:29 AM
5

Yep. It's based on ballet. Turns you gay overnight. Better a compressed spine, displaced organs, risk of fracture and loss of height by 50 than gay, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 09:21 AM
108

My dad was a partly disabled combat veteran who survived one of the worst battles of the 20th century. He was also a radical feminist supporter who gave presentations on behalf of a national feminist organization on misogyny in secondary school text books. He was 6'2" with a booming voice and didn't need a mic to be heard in the back row of an ampitheater. The organizers adored him. There was never any trouble from protesters when he was around. He picked up his own shorts. He also cooked, did l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:51 AM
60

I may steal that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:03 AM
3

But it's somehow never an upgrade. One friend who was on the cover of a Latin American Vogue at 17 and is one of.the funniest, most insightful people I know got betrayed for this dumb squawky mushroom with cystic acne, a beer belly and chemo-thin hair. When my friend showed me the video she'd scooped off her husband's phone at the request of divorce lawyers, I laughed for five minutes straight. By then ny friend was detached enough to be amused. The chick was a fan of James Patterson novels and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 06:08 AM
5

The actress described that scene as drawn from life-- the time she caught her first husband, Sir Kenneth "pudding face" Branagh (aka, "Who?") having an affair with her Howard's End costar Helena Bonham Carter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:49 AM
3

You can tell by my vocabilary that I have divorced friends who've been cheated on. 🤨 "Dissipation": The action or process of dissipating : the state of being dissipated: a : dispersion, diffusion the dissipation of the smoke the dissipation of enemy forces. b archaic : dissolution, disintegration. c : wasteful expenditure the dissipation of the family's fortune.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:45 AM
43

It's not permanent. I traveled all over Europe and the US and never got lost because of my stellar inner GPS. But the second I had kids, I could get lost in a grocery aisle. The "keep kids alive" function of my brain requisitioned every spare dram of metabolic brain fuel and other faculties suffered. That corrected itself all of a sudden when the kids became more independent. I'd already seen something similar in dv survivors when I was an advocate. They'd first appear to us wild haired, wild ey…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 05:41 PM
41

I was annoyed by the obstetrics nurses who kept basting my husband with praise for changing diapers and, you know, parenting while I recovered in the hospital from a c-section. He said they were treating him like a talking cat, some kind of phenom. Something about lying there trussed up in stitches after being cut open sapped my sense of humor. By then I was sick of particularly older women who seemed to compulsively "demo" how to lavish praise on a husband/new dad for doing what-the-fuck-ever b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 05:13 PM
8

Big red flag for cheating: gushes at pets, glowers at partner. Even if they're typically shitty fathers, cheaters will also front as "world's best dad" while cheating so the gushing can also be aimed at kids. If you live long enough, you come to recognize these "tells" from collective anecdotes and seeing how things work out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 04:47 PM
28

Fashy haircut= fascy brain. Over-forty guys need Pilates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 04:40 PM
29

You really are the Pickmeisha exorcist lol. Expose those meishas. 🤘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 03:52 AM
39

Wow to the missing stair coinage. Encompasses so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 03:17 AM
2

Jung was all over the place. Lots of bathwater with a bit of a baby in it. Chomsky is virtually all baby. The way he handles this frat boy who tried to extract a plug for porn is hilarious. https://youtu.be/1Fu7gDyooHw I was glad to see that Chris Hedges is continuing Chomsky's anti-porn position on the far left. https://www.truthdig.com/articles/pornography-is-what-the-end-of-the-world-looks-like/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 10:24 PM
3

I think you're probably right that male therapists, if they happen to like women to behave like little girls, aren't going to label raised pitch in women as pathology. But if it was naturally occurring in women, then coloraturas like Maria Callas would speak like Minnie Mouse. But Callas spoke resonantly in a full voice. She used her whole range which is healthy (she was a badass. Watch her humorously suffering the blathering men who are supposedly interviewing her: https://youtu.be/m0AoJ7ldIcs …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 07:19 AM
19

You walk the walk. It's something a friend always said regarding any manner of selling oneself for the entertainment of men. Cleaning toilets is an act of self respect when we all know the jaws of exploitation are snapping away under every woman's feet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 06:27 AM
26

I'd rather clean toilets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 03:41 AM
5

Once upon a time, a guy asked me on a walk in Central Park as a first date. I went but was bored and thirsty. It's a very short story because there was no second date. The end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 03:29 AM
4

I've lived long enough to trust that I eventually do let things go but not until the lizard part of my brain-- sort of the the brain region responsible for risk management-- is reassured that I'm no longer as vulnerable to the same kind of offense or attack that caused a trauma reaction. If you can't let something go, think of it as your brain's helpful way of telling you you need to polish up your self defense faculties. If it was a physical offense, take a self defense course. If it was emotio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 03:11 AM
1

I hate Woody Allen but his film Zelig kind of nails the presto-chango mutable character disorder thing. https://youtu.be/NCqjCQdYgRk Probably relevant that Allen, who seems to understand his subject a little too well, is a child molester.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 02:51 AM
3

It's this really weird thing I've heard about and observed in ab.usive straight men. The rest of this thread has more comments on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 02:36 AM
5

Puberphonia, or speaking in a high pitched voice way past childhood, is not natural and usually has psychiatric origins. I'll go out on a limb and say that, in men, it might signal violent personality disorders unless it's a gay culture thing. A lot more women do this than men. I'm not sure if it's associated with criminality but the behavior is definitely associated with childhood trauma, usually sexual abuse. Since chronically raising pitch and breathy voice wreck the vocal chords, I'm not a f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:23 AM
7

I was an advocate for bat.tered women but not a psych professional so I'm reporting anecdotes from dv survivors, not clinical research. I don't even know if this has been studied but heard it frequently enough that I think it probably should be. Not sure but I think that part of the lisping, "fey" vocal thing in the speech of some gay men is actually an attempt to sound childlike. If you have a deep voice, how else do you vocally signal to other men that you're the femme looking for a more butch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:07 AM
15

A genuinely HVM will act like any good female friend in regards to your shitty relatives-- with support and good feedback. I would take it slow introducing any guy to family and wouldn't give away any FOO problems until you've both vetted each other very well. On learning too soon that you had FOO issues, a healthy guy might be concerned at first you'll reenact those issues just like women watch for red flag family issues in men. But a really healthy guy, upon learning that you don't carry this …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 08:11 AM
104

Getting angry if his risky driving makes you flinch. Gawking at other women. Gay mannerisms in a genuinely straight guy (very, very dangerous sign, like stalker/bat.terer/serial killer shit. It's not actually "gay" behavior but sort of pathological age-regression. Run). Emulating celebrities but not in a joking way. Too many moments of being checked out, dissociated or "spacey." Turning mean when they have you in a bind (for example, you're starting a trip together with nonrefundable tickets, et…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 07:24 AM
56

I have a friend who overlooked this this for the sake of the long haul. 15 years later she catches him fucking their kids' skanky nanny. No fault state and he's hiding assets and she may be left with nothing. Our conversations revolve around divorce legislation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 05:29 AM
8

You went "poof". Love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 05:24 AM
19

Good for you. Vaguely Taoist saying: "If you want the universe to fill your rice bowl, clean it out." I've hung onto that adage as an antidote to the usual "forgiveness" drivel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 05:22 AM
9

And every word is true. 😏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 04:37 AM
84

"If you won't do painful, performative, Cirque de Soleil sex acts for him that never gave any woman an orgasm in the history of sex or orgasms and furthermore fake your orgasms like Minnie Mouse being stabbed with a clam shucker, someone else will." Well thank goodness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 05:30 PM
27

"That which I would gladly give I would not have taken from me." My mother wasn't even a little bit religious but had a stockpile of scriptural interpretations for every occasion. I thought this one suited the badass church posse meme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 05:22 PM
31

I was thinking the same thing. Looking good for God. 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 05:13 PM
22

🤢😪🤮🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 04:23 AM
1

Yes, absolutely. I'm the radfem hand that rocks the cradle and I rock it hard. 😁🤘 But my daughter is as tender hearted as she's intellectually ferocious. I worry that she will be lonely at times. It's simply sad that she may not have solid family intellectual support in the next generation of women. My sons are also social justice warriors, anti-porn, etc., but I remember how crucial female allies were to me as an adolescent and post adolescent. I wish the women in our extended family were less …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 09:54 PM
6

Very, very ant-porn. https://youtu.be/SNlRoaFTHuE Jung was a misogynist but had a great theory that true intellect is androgenous. I think Chomsky embodies the androgenous intellectual ideal. He'd be fascinating as either male or female.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 09:46 PM
3

I read your comment at a moment when this song came on the radio. https://youtu.be/1tGO1Y4FGpI The whole thing blended in my brain and I almost started sobbing because of a terrible revelation I had about my husband's supposedly highly educated, supposedly lefty but grossly libfem sex posi niece after she went into a whole kinkmeisha rant. It's hard to explain but I suddenly envisioned a monster world where all liberal women are like this-- blind to how conceding to rapey values in just one aren…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 07:59 PM
12

I once wrote him to verify a quote and he wrote back after midnight on Sunday. I'm sure he gets that all the time since he's presently the most quoted living human and the 8th most quoted in history after Jesus and Shakespeare. But he responded within 8 hours all the same. Margaret Atwood joked that wanting to know a writer because you like their work is like wanting to know a duck because you like paté. But in his case, the public humanism seems to actually carry over. Very rare. He vetted my p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 05:30 PM
22

Predators of all stripes know what they are and they know there are many who won't approve and will try to stop them. Apparently, because of the risk of being found out and hindered, ab.users channel far more psychic energy into image management and manipulating others' perceptions than average people. I assume they also channel more energy into sussing out others' characters than average. If we're the types to cause them trouble, they see us coming even before we've guessed there's trouble to b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 02:41 AM
6

Short, sweet and written in plain language. You'll be seeing monkeys everywhere for months. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 02:32 AM
135

I fired a 29 year old tutor/nanny for saying the SOR for pedos was "inhumane." That was the last straw after her posy, libfemy rant against monogamy (because she was, at that moment, crushing on some married man-bun creep) and her admission that her dad, whom she depended on to bail her out of everything, used to beat her up as a kid. Hello, deeply internalized ab.user value system and personality disorder. Goodbye. It was interesting to read studies later reporting that "infidelity tolerence" a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 08:00 PM
149

Quasi famous ex boss who excelled in generating a negative work environment and choosing Pickme flying monkeys to enforce his sick, weird, triangulating politics, was later credibly accused of raping around 16 women over the course of 20 years, many of whom had been minors at the time. Of course that's tragic for the victims but, since I'd caused a stir and got a lot of Pickme blowback by quitting that job, the news was exonerating too. I didn't get sprayed with shit when the shit hit the fan li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 07:44 PM
17

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 06:18 PM
55

Yes, I would add never face him alone and always bring an ally if you're forced to attend family events together. Then if he baits with misogynistic crap, you and your ally can look at each other and shrug, say, "Not a bit of it" and wander away discussing the issue intelligently like adults and leaving him out like the disruptive little manbaby he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 06:17 PM
50

Harvard Primatologist and author of the arguably radfem Demonic Males: Apes and the Origins of Human Violence Richard Wrangham theorizes that, aside from rape being the underlying motive for all wars, potential proof that humans evolved as far more monogamous than our ape ancestors is evidence that language may have originally formed in order to check up on the activities of mates when one or the other was out hunting or gathering. Basically, language developed from the impulse to gossip, snoop …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 06:09 PM
6

I think streaming porn has increased the tendency. When I was a teen prior to the explosion in web porn, there were definitely men who didn't see teen girls as "material." I was a total schmuck magnet living in major metropolises as a kid so could detect literally every perv for miles. It was pretty bad but, reassuringly, there were obviously men who vastly preferred grown-ass women. I remember thinking as a kid, "I want one like that when I grow up." Now that I'm the mother of teens, I'm seeing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 05:39 PM
42

I've definitely seen use-use scenarios: the married old office douche and the undeclared sugar baby underling with a mountain of student loan debt bonking in hotels or parking lots after he forks out for bistro grub and booze. And if she doesn't follow through with at least a hand job? Hussy!! But I never see actually innocent men being used in this way. It's always guys slumming around trying to cheat or otherwise trying to bat way, way out of their age range. More a biblical irony than biblica…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 05:20 PM
9

You mean like General Jack D. Ripper from Dr. Strangelove describing "loss of essence"? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 https://youtu.be/X4XhhTF7vRM I love that scene though I actually think fluoride is pretty crappy (metabolic effects, weight gain, occasional bone spurs and gray teeth) and does fuck-all for your teeth if you drink it. Still, I doubt it was a plot to sap men's precious bodily fluids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 04:13 PM
7

Did the funk knock you to your knees? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 04:31 AM
21

Who cares if men think you led any guy on? Maybe you didn"t, maybe you did and then changed your mind. It's your prerogative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 04:27 AM
23

When they "show interest" with no follow through, it's because they want the woman to be aggressive and make the decisive move for two reasons: 1) The guy is married or otherwise committted; and/or B) so when he screws you over later, he can remind you that you were the one who foisted yourself on innocent him like a slutty ogre and he never promised you anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 04:24 AM
23

"DARVO" coiner Prof. Jennifer Freyd rocks. In the process of very helpfully deconstructing universal mindfucking tactic of all sorts of ab.users (from interpersonal to industial to political), she exposed her own parents and ultimately brought down the False Memory Syndrome Foundation, her parents' corrupt, powerful, toxic international hub of expert witnesses (https://news.isst-d.org/the-rise-and-fall-of-the-false-memory-syndrome-foundation/). Before the org crashed two years ago, FMSF speciali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:56 PM
32

Porn zombies will sexually reject or fail to get it up for partners 20 years younger because she doesn't have a shiny screen or transform into forty-six different Czech sex workers and a medley of underaged trafficking victims getting gangbanged and anally raped dozens of times in the space of 5 minutes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 04:44 PM
4

I'm just extrapolating from research that's already been done. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32281.Demonic_Males
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 04:28 PM
5

Lol, there's so much solid proof we didn't evolve from bonobos, but the argument isn't even necessary as a poly rationale since our actual closest ape cousins, the regular rapey chimps, have group sex, too. And if the females refuse, they die so they generally don't refuse. The species also eat each other and slaughter infants so kinkmeisters can say pedo cannibal kink is natural.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 04:12 PM
4

Wow, perfect example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 07:42 AM
11

Nature smature. By ignoring carbon dating and basically all of human history and pretending humans evolved from the nicer ape, some can pretend that "returning to nature" is progress. But what if our specie's nature kind of sucks? It's like Rousseau's "noble savage" theory that formed the basis of the Jacobin movement in revolutionary France. The problem with the latter should be pretty obvious: when humans just refuse to conform to a movement's false, idealized model of kinder-gentler human nat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 07:40 AM
13

You wrote, "We've clearly made a huge mistake by letting overly aggressive men breed in a vain attempt to use that male to protect ourselves" Hmm, I don't think it was an issue of "allowing", at least not historically speaking. Whenever women get too uppity, authoritarian reigns of terror have a way of rearing their ugly heads and resetting ape hierarchies. This got really blatant in 20th century totalitarian movements which explicitly sought to block the "feminization" of cultures and to "remas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 07:11 AM
9

Hah, it's not "devolving" since I really doubt we ever evolved away from the tendency. But we have free will, language and enough intelligence to opt for something else and veer away from hell, right? I think it might be interesting if adolescent girls were told that, rather than being ashamed if their sexual and romantic fantasies and proclivities start to lean towards masochism at any point, to view it with humor and pragmatism as some ancient, outdated echo or "call of the wild" that should b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 06:51 AM
21

If that's a serious question, yes and no. Humans obviously differ from apes in many respects but are arguably not really morally better if that's what you meant. Modern humans are smart enough to develop social contracts and engineer societal structures to suppress our worst ape traits and at least try to optimize our better natures, that is, if we don't blow up the planet in the mean time. If we rely on what is purely "natural"-- meaning our inner ape selves-- we're doomed because one thing tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 06:30 AM
174

My response to the evo-psych rationale for BDSM as somehow both "natural" and "progressive" is that it can't be both, not specifically in the context of sexuality. Even if the woman thinks she likes being a sub, and even if she doesn't believe that her taste for pain and humiliation wasn't artificially culturally implanted and simply reflects a kind of natural personal preference that evolved from our poly ape ancestors or blah-blah-whatever and is an act of resistance against sexual repression,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 06:40 PM
17

Where are the visibly disabled contestants? Where are the unshaven pits and legs? EmPoWeriNg my ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 06:12 PM
8

Clicked on it accidentally. What a crock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:43 AM
5

It's kind of like The Cat in the Hat"and the pink spot that spreads and spreads. Polypharmacy," or expensively treating the side effects of the expensive treatment that came before and on and on and on is obviously a deliberate profit model.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:39 AM
9

After editing an environmental health publication for 12 years (never mind my typos-- I was never a copy editor or grammar cop) and reading so many studies and anecdotes and hearing from integrative doctors, I suspect most of the health problems that drive women to take the pill-- from PCOS to depression to cystic acne to period pain-- could often be more safely treated through changes in diet, reduction of toxic exposure and professional detox. I met only one GYN who was open to the idea that t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 06:49 PM
6

Interesting studies on "low affect" and blank facial expression in women on the pill. It sounds a lot like male "cara de culo"-- that flat, emotionless ass-face thing that a lot of men have. I wasn't sure if the studies were speaking to neurological or masculinizing effects of bc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 06:28 PM
7

Have you considered bioidentical hormone treatment rather than the synthetic bc version? Pharma typically floods science publications with canned arguments that biodentical is not safer than synth but genuinely independent sources and studies say natural is much less risky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 06:22 PM
8

There's no blood/antibody test for men for the cancerous strains of HPV and the vaccines don't cover all the deadly strains. Even if condoms don't protect 100%, barriers are still a better strategy for reducing certain risks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 06:17 PM
14

The narcy, disordered parents of two childhood friends were poly. I saw both situations blow up horribly. The two friends turned out differently as adults. The daughter of the swinger, pot-smoking Unitarian minister and his wife (whom I never met when at their house because the self-absorbed twats made their kids raise themselves) ended up falsly dxed as bipolar at 18 and heavily medicated. I knew her, the dx did not fit. She developed mania as a side effect of Prozac and was given even more dru…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 09:34 PM
43

Read Harvard primatologist Richard Wrangham's book on his two decades of ape field studies, Demonic Males: Apes and the Evolution of Human Violence. He males essentially the same argument-- that the only thing that will save the species and the planet is human females rejecting ancestral ape behavioral patterns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 01:44 AM
75

Where is infidelity on the wheel? Virtually all ba.tterers cheat and cheating is intrinsic to the cycle of ab.use. As a former advocate for survivors of dv, I learned that most ba.tterers operate on a "beat-by-need" basis, only becoming overtly vio.lent if the victim is threatening to take back control. Cheating is a less athletic, less legally risky way to produce the same despair and emotional paralysis in victims as a thrashing so it's the preferred opening tactic. Most importantly, cheating …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 05:10 PM
52

Up to age 23, women are as prone to miscarriage as women over forty. Healthy births then increase with age, economic stability and education of the mother. So if it was purely about biology, men would be craziest for women between 28 and 36 with grad school educations or higher and good economic prospects because, ease of conception aside, that's the demographic with the best pregnancy outcomes and their children's long term outcomes. Long term outcomes for children born to women over forty tend…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 04:47 PM
110

Or an image of his daughter?? 😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 04:17 PM
23

All the women in their forties you know are saying their best years are... behind them? 😯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 10:45 AM
1

Is that a possible reason taller women live longer-- because medications and safety features, etc., are all geared to men or at least moderately taller people? https://www.insider.com/taller-women-may-live-longer-but-not-men-study-2019-1
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 04:48 AM
5

Holy shit things have changed since I was single, I just can't believe how radically. I guess Gisele Bündchen really is the last supermodel if the main male fetish has shifted from 5'9" and up to "tiny." I spent my entire adult life trying to seem self deprecating about my height (5'9") so shorter women wouldn't think I was lording it over them. My tall friends also warned each other about model toinkers-- men who collect models and statuesque women. I always lived and worked in major metropolis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 03:58 AM
3

I see what you mean exactly and agree. Ab.users study their prey. I've actually offered false decoy "vulnerabilities" just to see if a guy would try to exploit it to gain control. The effect is like waving a paper hand on a stick in front of a cobra and watching it strike. Gotcha, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 09:19 PM
19

You too? reminds me of "Et tu, Brute?" from the ass.assination of Caesar. Great idea. Mind you, women are merely footballs in this equation. The most dehumanizing part of the whole thing is that it's generated by this deadly, twisted competition between men, particularly between men and their shitty father figures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 09:04 PM
31

I don't get it. Most porn stars look like inbred melted-Barbie versions of movie stars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 07:19 PM
37

COMmuniCaTiNg with porn zombies is like spraying yourself in the face with kerosene and lighting your head on fire. Spare yourself the added injury. If anything, criminals only recognize consequences and, though porn use is not technically criminal, there's an element of criminality in compulsive porn consumption. Not kidding. Serial rapists/ki.llers, porn zombies, serial adulterers and domestic ba.tterers share a particular guilt reduction tactic I learned about as an advocate for dv survivors.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 06:19 PM
7

Y'all Qaeda and the Y'alliban having mantrums.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 05:14 PM
2

It's mostly male-to-male transmission but infections are spread from bodily contact and waxing and shaving are risk factors. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19931620/bikini-waxing-dangers/ Some people are silent carriers who shed but don't succumb to infection so it's yet another under-tested stealth STI to be aware of. https://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=1526776
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 05:04 AM
47

I was struck by the fratboy bros profile pic. Is that him in the middle making a heart sign at dick level?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 04:56 AM
21

When daddy's dick is the most important member of a family... I always thought of this when married dads would hit on me. So gross. There should be family announcement portraits where pop's peen is swaddled like a newborn because some men think their dicks deserve that level of attention. I think it's the whole basis of the misogynist Lacanian psychoanalytic theory that women gush over their newborns because the baby represents the dick they wish they had. Yeah right. It's more likely the male t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 05:21 PM
33

There have been studies on men overestimating their own sex appeal: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/social-instincts/201507/when-men-arent-good-looking-they-think https://www.iradio.ie/men-think-theyre-better-looking-than-they-are/ Researchers speculate that the delusional trait evolved in men to perpetuate the species, since if men folded up from frequent rejection, they'd probably never mate. A man overestimating a woman's sexual interest in them relates to capacity to commit sexual …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 04:58 PM
17

HR personnel are often former office doorknobs who aged out of the Pickme races.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 06:33 AM
13

True.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 06:30 AM
6

Just another word of encouragement for going full 70's bush: MRSA can be triggered by waxing or shaving too close to the ass and it's also sexually transmissible. If your SO cheats with a waxed crotch type, he could quite literally ki.ll you. Or you could end up having to get parts of your genitals removed to prevent the infection from ki.lling you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 02:58 AM
12

It's the "white diet" of carbs, sugar, dairy and processed meats. Pesticides and chemical additives further destroy oral flora that contributes to tooth decay and gum disease. Eating just a few servings of vegetables could counteract it somewhat but corn and catsup count as vegetables to these tools.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 04:49 PM
2

Non-creepy 😘😘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 07:22 PM
9

I'm not religious but I find occasional poetic wisdom in scripture. Your mother's analogy reminds me of this passage: It must needs be that evil come but woe be unto him by whom the evil cometh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 06:34 PM
9

And Jewish and Catholic and evangelical or even just members of the .01% who covertly arrange marriages (through heavy pressure, nudging and coercion) for political ties and to preserve economic advantage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 08:09 PM
12

Freaks don't love, they just form dependencies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 08:05 PM
16

It also happens in families that perceive themselves to be class elites. I knew the son of movie stars and he actually felt pressured to be with a movie star or at least a super model. He married an actress and, when that fell apart, married a model. I thought it was funny, as if fame were a religion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 08:04 PM
13

Sick men can stalk innocent targets because the perp is falsely projecting on the victim. But when they pine for mommy-flavored targets, I think it's really more about perceived personality disorder overlaps rather than appearance because mom was a narc, addict or borderline. Think about it.Typically the target reminds him of something unresolved from childhood and, of course, it's never something healthy and functional or there wouldn't be any sexual compulsion mixed in. Compulsive reenactments…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 07:58 PM
46

Also worth mentioning are white women who fetishize MOC based on pseudo-positive racist assumptions ("Swarthy Latin men are hot/romantic!" "AA men can go all night!" "Asian men are meek and loyal"). Or to get the attention of/rebel from their racist daddies who wouldn't let them taste the dick rainbow. Or because they assume men from an "inferior" race would worship their whiteness and wouldn't dare mistreat or disobey them. There's also the "magical minority" trope of assuming POC are morally s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 05:13 PM
117

Brilliant observation: "The only people who think FDS is too harsh are the same people who would either stay in the environment my dad left or would’ve been the administrators fostering that environment."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 03:31 PM
40

90% of the time they're married or in a ltr. The rest are often members of a cultural, religious or class community that demands dating and marrying within that community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 03:17 PM
48

Definitely cheating or heavily investing in an infatuation, the object of which would probably shock you with their utter banality but, if you held up photos side by side and compared personality quirks, likely resembles his mom. That's what cheaters are forever "exploring" and working out-- reenacting some childhood drama that usually has something to do with a mommy-scented vagina.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 04:03 AM
13

"Neither lesbians nor straight women tend to do this..." I think it happens but is certainly less common. All the same, a lot of lesbians internalize patriarchal a.buse the same as straight women. I worked with three open, plaid-shirt-and-work-boot-wearing faux-woke lesbian libfems who acted as "work-wives," pimps and political coverup crew members for ab.usive gross old pervs. These women contributed to dangerous work environments. For better or worse, I used to feel more betrayed by shitty wom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 08:45 PM
1

I wish she'd use a little more chest voice and breath support. The breathy little girl style contradicts her message and, worse, can cause permanent damage. It sounds like her pipes are worth preserving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 08:05 PM
5

His wife looks older than she should considering their wealth and resources. She has the cocktail skin, puffy eyes and apple-shaped body of an unhappy person who doesn't prioritize health. I think it's a sign he might be a big manbaby stressball to live with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 07:53 PM
51

Wilde deceived and cheated on his wife with teenage boys. Gaslighting was as ab.usive then as it is today. All the same, he seems to have liked women a little better than his straight contemporaries. I appreciate what he wrote about schoolmasters, which applies well to redpillerians and scrotes in general: that they were "men among boys and boys among men."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 07:32 PM
90

I feel sorry for Jackie too because she was such a victim and there was little to no recourse for women to combat ab.use in that era. But it's true she's the eternal Pickme patron saint. Jackie was the icon of my MIL. My husband pointed out that Jackie Kennedy was trained from birth to be a geisha for old pervs, starting with her father who would incestuously confide his adulterous sexual exploits to his young daughter. My MIL wouldn't hear of it and told her Pickme friends and anyone who would …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 06:47 PM
72

Anarcho-socialist political analyst Noam Chomsky thinks JFK was "just some guy"-- not very interesting as a person and equivalently guilty of hegemonic war crimes as other US presidents. https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/dismantle-all-of-this-stuff-a-conversation-with-noam-chomsky/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 06:43 PM
18

Sociopaths lead with self pity and pity ploys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 06:25 PM
27

CPS is increasingly privatized so fraud and trafficking are predictable. The bar for what constitutes child ab.use and neglect has lowered, making it easier to snatch and "market" children from ostensibly loving but poor families (the kinds of kids who are in demand while adoptive families are wary of children with RAD). Also private prison corporations are investing in juvenile gulags, private foster care and private adoption companies. The latter have rooted in the US since being booted out of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 03:49 PM
39

"I generally say the wrong thing often... " Yes, the prerogative of a CHILD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 12:07 PM
3

Adams has some weird views but the health info is pretty good. I just prefer to stay away from sources with evangelical agendas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 06:18 AM
2

Synth hormones definitely can trigger roid rage. The Norwegian mass shooter Anders Breivik deliberately doped to crank up roid rage and lower empathy before his terrorist attacks. Mike Adams is crunchy so I'm sure he recommends bioidentical hormones for men at risk of heart issues from low t. Not entirely sure but I don't think bioidentical hormones carry the same risk of violent behavior as synth steroids. I'm not a fan of Adams because of his ties to white supremacy groups but, at least regard…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 06:11 AM
10

Tribe. 🤜🤛 I have three kids with chemical sensitivities. Since I like sleep and hate ER visits, the house is toxin free, everything is stored in glass or stainless and we eat 99% organic. The kids' allergies (that curiously don't run in the family) are less scary and intense than they were in infancy but I think that's due to clean environment and I'm not dropping my guard at this point. The kids are into it anyway-- they read labels and are starting to cook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 05:59 AM
12

Maybe in part but there's no denying the decline in testosterone, sperm count and sperm motility and the ramifications this may have for other traits of masculinity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 05:46 AM
11

The biggest polluters and toxic industries own the media and sponsor research institutions and teaching hospitals. Ever read Cat's Cradle? Hormone disruptors are "Ice Nine."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 05:43 AM
65

Unfortunately, this is how helping professionals typically interpret ba.ttered women's shock and paralysis. In this case the mom may truly be psychopathic but headlines often play on the same clichés regardless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 03:51 AM
11

People in creepy, dangerous cults try to silence their screaming intuitions by endlessly rhapsodizing about their creepy gurus and proselytizing their weird beliefs. It's as if indoctrinating others is a means to turn a blind eye to red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 06:51 PM
63

Actually true. I posted links above. Jaw shape is strongly influenced by testosterone and t levels are dropping. https://www.forbes.com/sites/neilhowe/2017/10/02/youre-not-the-man-your-father-was/?sh=77443c308b7f
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 06:43 PM
62

A strong jaw is also a sign of high t and t levels are dropping in industrialized countries. https://www.livescience.com/18484-finger-length-masculine-faces.html https://www.urologytimes.com/view/testosterone-levels-show-steady-decrease-among-young-us-men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 06:38 PM
97

I'm not alone in thinking men are being rapidly emasculated by increased prevalence in hormone disruptors in pesticides, household chemicals and industrial pollutants, not to mention synth hormones in plastics and commercial meat, milk, eggs and dairy and the "metalo-estrogens" in ubiquitous ambient heavy metals like mercury and aluminum. Unfortunately falling t levels don't make men less aggressive (pedophiles tend to have lower than average testosterone for instance). Because excess estrogen h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 06:31 PM
101

I demand
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 06:17 PM
2

OMG, I can't unsee the resemblance! 🤣😱🤣😱🤣😱🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 06:05 PM
62

Even the 23 yr old looks 32 (moobs, scarred face, bags under his eyes). The 40-whatever guy looks 60-whatever. Either they're all lying or johns tend to be especially unhealthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 07:58 AM
36

An extended family member who self-identifies as an indigenous lesbian feminist (but who grew up ostensibly white and privileged) returned from the Zapatista Women Warrior summit in Chiapas before lockdown complaining bitterly that Zapatista women had disallowed sex workers from taking the dais and, I guess, trying to grub woke feminist creds by association. I started laughing at her outrage. Jesus. The reason sex workers amassed in Chiapas is to serve the military installations placed there by …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 05:35 AM
20

Capitalism on crack-- amen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 05:11 AM
2

Dutton's book, The Batt.erer has references to the idea but I think his published clinical research goes into greater depth. Dutton doesn't write about cheating that much, but as a former dv survivors' advocate, I see absolutely no difference between the MOs, tactics and psychology of a certain grade of ba.tterer and cheaters, give or take a few broken bones and gunshot wounds. As I've pointed out before (a lot. I repeat myself), virtually all ba.tterers cheat and I see cheating simply as a less…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 08:12 PM
31

My mom won't mind. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 06:15 PM
9

There's no test for men for any strain of HPV and online tests are notoriously faulty. It's still crucial to demand testing but don't forego condoms even so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 06:13 PM
179

The partners are also being robbed. Married buyers are generally buying with joint marital assets which, if done without partner's agreement, would be embezzling under any other legal contract. Furthermore, any sex worker who knows a john is married, if she even has reason to suspect the wife doesn't know how the money is being spent, would be criminally liable for accepting stolen assets in association with any other legal contract, in which "should have known" is sufficient to prosecute. Time …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 06:08 PM
108

My mother used to always say "When you're old you get the face you deserve."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 06:02 PM
71

The more power Bolsonaro has, the more he expresses his onner and outer ugliness and the more repulsive he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 05:11 PM
386

Why do all these guys look 10-20 years older than their stated ages? Are they all dissolute drinkers who survive off soda, processed meat and chips? They vibe of sour sweat and infantile rage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 05:06 PM
6

The radfem hands that rock the cradle. 🤘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 05:54 AM
39

Creepy office affairs destabilize. Blowing the whistle corrects the balance. These people are like toddlers peeing in the pool. They really think bystanders can't see the yellow plume in the water around them. At the very least, creepy affairs burden bystanders with dirty secrets and bad consciences (especially if kids are involved). At worst it creates a permissive environment where every other perv thinks it's a free for all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:11 AM
24

Email from a dummy account and pretend to be an anonymous secret admirer who just can't bear to think of this amazing woman being used and betrayed by her douche husband/partner. Provide dates and locations for any cheating activity you know about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:03 AM
46

This initially got down-voted. Troll down-votes seem to be an aproximate measure of how close to he bone an idea may be. Hey, I think even Redpillians suspect the mutagenic aspect of demented male rage. When capitol rioter Jake Angeli, aka "QAnon Shaman" or Yeti-chested horned guy, demanded organic food while in prison, I wondered if this wasn't a case of biological intuition. On some level, guys like this may know they're damaged, but like everything else, they turn that tiny kernal of intuitio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 05:43 PM
83

One thing to consider is that a certain percentage of men under 35 are chemical Frankensteins. Throughout history, men have always been more violent and environmentally destructive. So is it a good idea to chemically engineer them to be worse? At least in the US, 1 in 6 have been on scrip meds with mutagenic and brain structure-altering effects like Ritalin and Prozac since very young. Circa 1987 was roughly the start of the psychoactive med cocktail guinea pig generation and those "long term re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 04:38 PM
4

You see? US feminists are wimps. No sticks, no air canons, no coordinated drum corps. This beats pink hats. https://images.app.goo.gl/bDCH9kBtkaXfZFZb8
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 10:56 AM
2

Dual citizenship. We never learn about these things in the US education system. I never knew that much about Central American political history, but it seems Guatemala's history isn't all that different than Chile, etc., as far as US meddling (except 6 x as many people died). https://chomsky.info/the-us-remains-guilty-in-guatemala/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 10:54 AM
8

At least in Argentina, I kind of think it's leftist Peronism that formed the rebel model for feminism. European and US influences haven't been very constructive and fueled the dictatorships in both countries, so I'm not sure how much credit can be given to the gringos (lol). The US funded the military coups in first Chile, then Argentina in the 70s. The torture and execution tactics used in both countries were borrowed from the French model. Both countries even hired French "state terror" adviso…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 03:37 AM
40

The level of Pickmeism depends on where you are in Latin America. Some of my favorite feminists are South Asian and South American because there's nothing like the technicolor shock and awe of women in blatantly repressive cultures who've finally had enough. Meanwhile US feminists can be less committed because, even if misogyny is fully operational, it can be more covert and fragmented. Plus the tradition of positive social justice mobilization (as opposed to terrorist hillbilly mobs) in the US-…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:33 PM
2

One of my teen daughter's friends from Latin America misused the term and I explained that, in the US, it's cultural appropriation to use the "Karen" epithet outside its original purpose of calling out racist white women (or men). It's not much different than a white person using the "n" word--nope, you can't get away with it. Nope, don't even try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 02:53 PM
20

Using his granny's floral quilt as a futon/couch cover...lol When his sulky, manbaby resentment and entitlement (and short stature, low pay grade or being way too old for his targets) turn women off, he invents biblical punishments and dire fates for them. Yeah, attractive. Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 02:32 PM
79

Let me share with you the magic "fake study" killer comeback. Whatever douchey thing they say, you respond with, "Oh, funny, I just read a study reporting that men who say/claim/believe/do such and such a thing have a statistical tendency to be (fill in blank with something unmasculine, unattractive or generally gross). Do you think that's true?" When they get really pissed and call the study bs, you just shrug helplessly. After all, you didn't write it (but chances are someone did).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 01:42 PM
2

Dv researcher Donald Dutton calls it "masked dependency." Due to whatever twisted horrors ba.tterers endured in childhood, they tend to feel overwhelming shame at their own pathological dependence on partners. Though the dependency and dualing fears of abandonment or "engulfment" are entirely self generated, they may more or less blame the partner for "unmanning" them. Cheating is a typical tactic of ba.tterers to sort of dilute their dependence on and vulnerability towards a partner. When destr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:01 AM
3

Someone who accepts pain, betrayal and shame as the price of relationships will dish out the same and expect others to accept it. It's kind of like how alcoholics/addicts will subject you to precisely the kind of pain that drove them to drink/use to begin with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 11:56 PM
36

Pitt got work done around the time he did Allied. Definitely fillers, maybe a little nip and tuck, so he looked a bit smoother than his heavy drinking would have otherwise allowed. But you can always tell when they drink-- the puffy, bloaty, blousey eye/jowl thing that looks a bit evil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 05:23 PM
25

You ready to leave your wife of thirty years till you wake up and your body is surrounded by rose quartz and moon water... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 02:53 AM
93

At $12 per fluid ounce, pure vanilla is far better than most dudes deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 05:49 PM
71

As a former advocate for dv survivors, I think you did a good deed and it likely did make a difference. Next time maybe do it anonymously and then move on, knowing you did your bit. It can help to understand that cheating is never the only form of ab.use happening and most betrayed women have been boiled like frogs and paralyzed similarly to bat.tered women through systematic mindfucking, gaslighting, overt and covert attacks on social status, threats against child custody, not to mention the ef…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 05:39 PM
46

Whistleblower trick: You pretend to be an anonymous coworker or old friend who felt compelled to warn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 04:47 PM
29

Translation: I didn't consciously intend to harm you by doing things that are universally known to cause harm because I'm so practiced in doing harm that it no longer takes conscious effort or thought. Cheaters always mean harm. It may be subconscious and destroying you may have only been an "unfortunate" side effect of the larger goal of destroying their own shameful, pathologically infantile dependence on intimate partners (clinical profile of abu.sers). But harm was intended all the same. Ab.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 04:39 PM
96

Women can be creeps too, though typically they act as proxy creeps (aka, Pickme) for male agendas and certain defineably twisted beliefs are necessary to play that role. For example, "Rape myth acceptance" is clinically associated with "dark tetrad" personality traits (narcissism, Machiavellianiam, psychopathy and sadism): https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/The-Dark-Tetrad-and-Rape-Myth-Acceptance-Boland/e8f48e3e75da64b8eb28c11a69625e0cf42d4b16 Rape myth acceptance is also associated with inf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 04:28 PM
49

Women always have more options but statistically cheat less. So it's a character and integrity issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 04:18 AM
1

Lol, what troll downvoted this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 02:06 AM
10

When I worked for advocacy attorneys researching and preparing presentations on issues of disabled students' medical, civil and educational rights, I learned that every few years there's yet another crap "science" paper or junk study attempting to tie ASD to dictators or terrorists or serial ki.llers or mass murderers/school shooters, etc. See if you can read any of this shit without throwing your phone against a wall: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/05/21/study-finds-sig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 08:29 PM
69

OMG, fuck this asshole for equivicating narcissism to developmental neurological disorders through that "neurotypical" reference. There's absolutely zero evidence of brain structural or biochemical differences in people with personality disorders and tons of evidence that it's learned behavior, acquired via internalized ab.use patterns and that consequences are the only "cure." Furthermore, mentally disabled people would never have the presence of mind to triangulate and manipulate others to the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 08:59 AM
5

I went NC with my older sister, most of my cousins and MIL, SIL and BIL. The latter was my husband's choice. For me it was like an exorcism. I don't miss any of them and we've since begun to build our own extended family. It's easier to build a new life when you're not vibing abject misery, grinding your teeth to nubs and writhing in sleepless angst over the last bout of family horror. The final straw all around was how extended family treated my children because of my middle child's severe heal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 08:31 AM
3

The thing that might fracture support is that any policy like this would go both ways (so-called sugar mamas who pilfered marital assets to buy gifts for cabaña boys, etc) and would apply to LGBT. Personally that wouldn't bother me because A) straight white men would still be the primary offenders; and B )the people with the one and only legit excuse by which cheating is justifiable-- being a victim of vio.lence and/or severe coercion-- never cheat in my experience. I was an advocate for dv surv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:41 PM
202

Married men are paying for outside sex with joint assets. It's embezzling. In the real world, accepting assets or property that one either knows is stolen or should have known was stolen is a crime and, at the very least, could result in asset seizure. A sex worker might claim she didn't know a john was married but once she knows, the should have known rule should apply to marital assets the same as with other stolen property. Out of consideration for how vulnerable sex workers are in general, I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 06:13 PM
7

Seriously write that "cease and desist" and start a legal paper trail. I don't think it's so farfetched to believe racists are more likely to be vio.lent ab.users. "Splitting" (or externalizing all human evil to a particular target or extreme idealization of others) is the main trait of personality disorders like borderline, narcissism and antisocial. What is racism other than "splitting" applied to whole groups? Danger, danger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 05:56 PM
49

Or "2 day itch" or "1 year itch" or "just had a baby itch" or "wife just got cancer diagnosis itch." Basically the itch is a symptom of personality disorder. The same events that would trigger more care, loyalty or concern in a normal person towards an intimate partner will predictably trigger ab.use and betrayal in malignant narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 05:42 PM
7

Screenshot and send it all to his wife, including a copy of your "cease and desist" notice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 05:37 PM
16

I'd be really wary of MRSA infections from shaving or waxing near the ass. It's not uncommon and can be sexually transmissible. Some are silent carriers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 05:32 PM
2

Now if only his breath matches his farts...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 02:09 PM
96

The side chicks are rarely more interesting but are usually encouraged to be more gymnastic while wives are trapped in a pergatory of disconnected blandness. Neither role looks appealing. I know a woman who literally checks every box-- brains, beauty, genius sense of humor, creative, successful, great friend, great mom, etc-- but her recovering evangelical lawyer wasband still screwed the brainless nanny and went to rub and tug parlors. He couldn't integrate "Madonna" and "Whore" concepts. To lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 02:07 PM
3

PhD-- pickme-horror-dishing? Unfortunately, I got a lot of field research experience in my former industry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 04:53 AM
45

How clever he is to make his teeth match his hair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 04:40 AM
47

Cheaters always reverse blame. If you're ever with someone who starts accusing you of weird shit and making statements like "you never" and "you always," get a full STD panel and get your ducks in a row.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 02:52 AM
64

She could take out a huge life insurance claim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 02:46 AM
29

Good point about banging vs. lovemaking. I had to bite my tongue a lot around Pickme coworkers who nattered on about situationships that they recast as relationships. I think there are borderline situationships that can be really confusing for women, especially women who didn't grow up seeing functional adult relationships and who came of age in the streaming porn era that normalizes performative sex so that a major red flag is ignored. Anyway, the dead giveaway was a Pickme leading with a confe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 05:29 PM
2

I can't believe anyone married or bred with Richardson. Disgusting, pervy worm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 03:15 PM
4

I don't even know who he is lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 01:39 AM
7

Relative to the fact I was 18 at the time. From that perspective, a two-faced 27 year old who fucks married near-50 dads and puts on simpering Betty Boop behavior to appear younger as away to grovel for scrote amnesty seems a bit crusty and corrupt. Pickmeism is terribly aging. But the friend who, at 27, rose to second violist for a major symphony orchestra seemed like a baby. It's all relative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 01:38 AM
23

She-devils. 😈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 01:27 AM
121

The sorrow and the suffering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 06:48 PM
82

Sigh, and she's even exagerating the age gap with the virginal sundress, Anne of Green Gables bonnet and "no makeup makeup." She knows what's expected of her and she fears being replaced by an even younger contender. I knew a model like this years ago who'd gotten involved with a loser photographer-- a married, paunchy dad in his forties. At first I thought she was my age because she worked the dewy, wide-eyed youth factor so hard. It turned out she was 27, had been waiting for this douche to co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:50 AM
73

I knew a woman who wore a massive string of natural pearls on dates that she said her dad got for her. I'm not sure who got her the pearls, but she obviously wasn't sharing the part of the story where her dad had, several years earlier, drank himself into a heart attack and wrecked his marriage. Why would she share such a thing with someone she barely knew? Why wouldn't she send a message that she was accostomed to being treated well and expected nothing less. And btw, don't even bother barking …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 02:42 AM
106

I got the old "You'll never work in this town again" bit so many times from coercive creeps. Eventually I think my brain identified and neutralized the thing that was making the retaliation so injurious: my passion for my work. Without it, no one could hold anything over my head anymore when I refused to fuck them. What made a lot of this worse was that most harassers had so-called "good intentions." Lucky me. When someone who typically treats women like shit decides you're "the one," hell hath …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 01:54 PM
310

The Madonna/Whore dichotomy is pretty boring for the "wife material" woman as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 01:29 PM
14

I love her quips.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 05:45 AM
23

Even atheism starts to take that shape when it goes top down and male directed. Dawkins and his "bin bag" remarks about Muslim women, the rape scandal at Skeptic Magazine, Sam Harris and the strappado and pro-droning comments. The common denominators are men and cults, whether secular or non.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 05:40 AM
29

Getting a job at the husband's company? Feigning fancy-free no-strings poly is a typical bait and switch tactic of so-called mate poachers, sort of like Nichol Kessinger having googled Shanann Watts and Chris Watts a long time before she even reportedly got involved with the latter, then searching double penetration and anal sex "training" methods while secretly searching wedding dresses. Not to reduce the culpability of cheats, but to make the point that poachers have their own creepy behaviora…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 07:44 PM
32

Telling a woman they just met to change/alter/adjust anything about herself is the behavior of a john, not a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 03:05 PM
8

I could have saved myself time and trouble in my career if I'd viewed side dishing as a red flag right out of the gate. When I was starting out, I think I was affected by the MChoicey-choice view that judging sexuality was ungroovy. Now I know it's not even necessary to have moral repudiation of adultery/cheating, just the pragmatic, self-protective understanding that betrayers are betrayers are betrayers, the end. Frankly, I do feel more revulsion towards cheaters after seeing how the fallout h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 11:48 PM
30

Women weren't the only victims.Did he ask if three year old toddlers had "learned a lesson"? Or middle-aged dads?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 06:10 PM
6

Like I always say, track marks and overdose are caused by heroin withdrawal, casualties of war are caused by truces and unwanted pregnancy is caused by refusing sex. It's really the shooter's abstinence-generated shame over use of vio.lent porn that caused his viol.ence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 12:37 PM
35

Author and shrink on Psychology Today making a very strange argument that it's anti-porn groups that are radicalizing and violentizing young men (and inciting misogyny and antisemitism) because, several.years ago, the British mass shooter spent 20 days on no-fap before resuming porn use. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/202108/was-uk-mass-murderer-radicalized-in-anti-porn-groups?amp
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 07:52 AM
1

I don't imagine anything more extreme than gray-rocking potential stoolies. Solzhenitsyn's account of Ukrainian prisoners' method of cleaning up the camps at least gives a clear thumbs up to disliking traitors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 05:14 AM
1

Some interesting reading on the concept of traitors. https://www.truthdig.com/articles/a-nation-of-snitches/ I've been put in serious danger by poaching Pickmes (why particularly the Pickme side dish types? Don't know-- guilt is ugly?) so I tend to preemptively avoid and eject them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 09:50 PM
3

What a stupid myth... sadists, serial kil.lers and terrorists just need love from a pure vessel!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:50 PM
149

I think engaging in performative, porny sex that, even if it isn't particularly extreme, merely isn't pleasurable for women is "Pickme" in itself, never mind the really dangerous stuff. So many women were raised with the normalization of brutal porn and will readily engage in potentially painful Cirque de Soleil shit that technically cannot produce a female orgasm yet (80%) will fake orgasms to keep men engaged. Some find ways to acheive unlikely orgasms in awkward positions through grinding and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 04:38 PM
57

I think it's absolutely typical for Pickmeishas. Aggression is ultimately required to act in service to aggressors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 04:20 PM
78

I fired a hipster nanny for arguing that the sex offender registry for child sexual abusers is unjust and they might as well just shoot them. I shrugged like, "yeah, well, then shoot them" and this woman teared up as if she were a war orphan arguing the case of war orphans. That was the last straw. I had originally thought her unshaved pits and feminist anti-rape rally attendence meant "radfem" status. I soon learned better means of distinguishing libfem from radfem. Radfems don't constantly ask…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 04:13 PM
34

No good deed goes unpunished if you try to rescue witting side dishes. Working in a very top-down, male-dominated field after college, there were a lot of Pickmes around and lot of chronic side dishing. Since this didn't seem to significantly benefit the careers of the participants, it seemed more psychopathic than pragmatic. Douchey old cheating overlords have a nose for hiring this type, though many of us weren't game (when douches fall in "wuv", it's with the ones who can't stand them) and we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 03:24 PM
19

Like how Cindy-Lou Who makes the Grinch grow a conscience, the Nobel Prize winning stunt for Pickmeism seems to be "inspiring" an ab.user to suspend his sadism. But unlike Cindy-Lou Who, Pickmes don't seem to want the ab.user love bombing the whole village, just them because being "picked" and "selected" for better treatment compared to others is the point. It smacks of classic reenactment-- Pickmes replaying the relationship with abu.ser-cheater-bat.terer-absentee- or-whatever daddy and hoping …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 02:51 PM
21

All the Shonda Rimes' mate poachers, sing out: pick-me-choose-me-pick-me-choose-me-pick-me...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 07:33 AM
1

Sick misuse of su.icide prevention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 03:53 AM
4

Great insights but terrifying at the same time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 03:50 AM
8

What's interesting about this case is that this ki.ller's view (borrowed from Q-anon, therefore a political theory) that his wife had passed on evil lizard genes is an exact parallel of the Francoist view that Spain was imperiled by "feminine evil" because, according to Franco's chief psychiatrist, Republican women were passing on the politically psychopathic "red gene" to children. Talk about a red flag for potential vio.lence. As a result of Franco's demented, toxic melange of eugenics, Freudi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 08:45 PM
21

I'm glad there was an either/or option regarding the agendas behind predatory behavior because bat.terers vary widely in their taste in prey. According to dv expert Lenore Walker, bat.terers statistically skew towards targeting "big game"-- independent women with careers and higher than average pre-ab.use self-esteem. I don't know why the latter is the case and haven't seen any really compelling explanations for it. Do bat.terers like a "challenge" for the fun of breaking down an otherwise fab w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 07:23 PM
8

It's such a ki.ller thumbtrap of comeback. Of course they're mad. 🤘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:07 PM
8

Unfortunately because of the student loan disaster coupled with plummeting health in younger women (stress, increasingly toxic environment) and increasing cultural mindfucking of women via OLD and exposure to pornsick peers and men since childhood, this kind of oldster loser is more likely to find a depressed, anxious capitulating Pickme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 04:08 PM
9

This is sort of like the studies that show poor long term relationship outcomes for both mate-poachers and poachees. I worked with dv survivors and never encountered even one who had the energy and nervous system reserves to "monkey-branch" in order to escape. But even imagining that the woman in the post was severely ab.used in her marriage, it still wasn't a good move to monkey branch because anyone who knowingly has sex with married people-- regardless of the circumstances-- is absolutely gua…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 03:28 PM
43

I'm sure when covid ends I'm going to be given opportunities to borrow that line in RL. 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 11:53 AM
30

Omg, scrotey logic. How is BDSM somehow exempt from being interpreted as aggressive? Like if you add black leather chaps and a crop to rap.e porn, suddenly it no longer represents ra.pe? WTH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 08:17 PM
12

So do physicists, so it's not just a brute strength/speed issue. https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748703444804575071573334216604
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 07:33 PM
15

A family of champion jockeys or circus performers who've gotten blown out of canons for generations might prefer short stature lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 07:31 PM
16

Reddit won't let me post since trolls did one of those "Reddit Cares" attacks on me, but go ahead and write it up. I think it's hilarious how much of a projection the whole "wall" concept is when only men face a genuinely official wall regarding traditionally perceived "masculine" attributes (there are women Seals but very few).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 07:29 PM
308

Speaking of walls... age 28 is the cutoff to enlist as a US Navy Seal, a status that's arguably a universal benchmark for the ultimate in male vigor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 04:51 AM
7

If any subset of women polish pickup tactics, it's the Pickmes waving pompoms for RP hate screeds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 04:38 AM
4

Hey thanks. The books are stellar, btw. I left out the most important thing: the unprofitable, expensive social programs that get precluded by casting vio.lent criminals as "born psychopaths" might otherwise address social factors and conditions that actually create criminals, including domestic vio.lence prevention. Maybe because judges, lawyers, psychiatri professionals and police are among the professions with the highest rates of bat.terers, the US justice system would rather do anything tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 12:53 PM
13

Compartmentalize= personality disorder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 06:32 AM
25

It shows its work to prove its claims or else it gets the hose again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 02:07 AM
76

She's also doing a bait and switch routine, whether consciously or not. She accepts the cool girl role on the surface, yet lobbies for the picket fence. It seems she's chosen a noncommittal partner because she herself isn't sure what she wants, which is pretty normal for 22. My guess is that he's the one who gets abrubtly dumped in the end when her indecision drives her in yet another direction and she waltzes away to explore other options. Then he might claim he was "blindsided" and be so rattl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 02:01 AM
1

To answer questions at the end: Have any of y’all experienced this? Yep. The dry spells are like a test of faith, like, say, Jesus in the wilderness with Satan-- except without all the magicy religious stuff. You will suffer doubt, dark nights of the soul, etc. The transition from insecure, conformist friends to independent, groundbreaking, out-of-the-box, joyful rebel friends can be really hard, but when you start finding them, it's like a reunion with your long lost tribe. You'll talk so fast …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 01:48 AM
33

It's an interesting idea, but, for the time being, I think I'll stick to old fashioned vetting to figure out if someone's psycho. I'm wary of Minority Report-style pre-crime detection research claims in general. ​For one, genetic assumptions in the head movement study are somewhat implied by the use of the Hare psychopath questionnaire because Hare's original theory proposes genetic origins of psychopathology. But the problem is, there's no legitimate evidence genes code for increased violence o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 08:35 PM
142

Fun= childlike fuckbuddy for situationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 04:48 PM
57

He's cheating. Men planning to cheat-- meaning they have the candidate lined up in their minds, an active obsession or emotional affair-- or actively cheating do this. I've seen cheaters who don't give away the game like this, but I've never seen a non-cheater do this. Shifting into seeing the partner through a negative filter happens as the would-be cheater searches for flaws that, in their demented minds, "justify" the cheating ("if only she would/wouldn't do x or y, then I wouldn't stray...")…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 03:27 PM
2

Glad you've figured out a good attitude recipe to stay safer. Stick with FDS and I think you'll pass through the valley of the shadow of perviness and mind games in the corporate world or wherever with fewer scrapes than a lot of us did. 🤘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 06:42 AM
1

Frame Wars sounds like a spinoff of Duck Dynasty or Storage Wars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 06:25 AM
5

If they lie about drinking soda, imagine the whoppers you would have heard to explain how they couldn't possibly have given you that HPV infection. The small lies are practice for the deadly ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 06:13 AM
8

🤘😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 05:34 AM
38

Sorry, I couldn't help it. https://youtu.be/DTsdKycVZZ4
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 03:41 AM
24

I have a daughter only a few years younger. No court would convict me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 03:35 AM
16

She's 45 and changing seeping bandages from his diabetic wounds while he sleeps off his carb coma in a Barcalounger when she catches a glimpse of his of teen porn stash. Because a self-indulgent pedomanbaby at 48 is a self-indulgent pedomanbaby at 70.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 03:32 AM
30

I would add staying away from Pickmes at work who professionally crossbreed (or breed-breed) with LVM coworkers. Pickmes will pass around warped versions of anything you confide as currency to keep scrotes engaged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 09:03 PM
28

Media and ad people mine reddit for ideas. I assume this was part of the reason it got backing and launched to begin with-- so commercial interests could put their thumbs on the public's pulse. Nothing new about that (erm, Google and the NSA https://qz.com/1145669/googles-true-origin-partly-lies-in-cia-and-nsa-research-grants-for-mass-surveillance/). Anyway, FDS has gotten quite a bit of mainstream press so I wouldn't be surprised if it's being mined for commercial fodder like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 06:28 AM
15

Men fall so hard for those pseudo-intellectual gurus spouting wordy, high-fallutin' rubbish. Then the cool girls follow the guys. But it's all about the monkey dick-size challenge: "If u wuz smart like I iz u wuld nod along with whut I'z sayin' and be better than those stoopid peoples..." So many insecure young, would-be liberal men pretend they understand wtf Milton Friedman or Richard Dawkins are babbling on about. But it's really all about a sense of belonging, competition and assuaging consc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 11:18 PM
16

Yeah, er, I have to confess that half of what I read now is to detox from my "education." You wrote, "It’s classic propaganda- they cloak everything in innocent, empowering liberating language that would appeal to the left..." Something else I was detox-reading is Karl Popper's The Open Society and its Enemies: The Spell of Plato to look up a similar argument. It's pretty much Popper's description of Plato's tact in Republic. You probably know this, but all those kinder-gentler Plato-isms that p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 10:38 PM
5

Yes, pretty sad statement on the species that anyone being nice but without being perceived as having power can be automatically dismissed as a suckup or someone who wants something. That's why in organizational psych it's considered risky to be too openly flattering towards superiors. On the one hand, some overlords with pea-sized egos demand ass-kissing. On the other, some will quickly designate the admirer as a scapegoat. The one thing that always mystified me is how the most vile climbers se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 09:42 PM
8

The only things in the article that made me go "hmm" was the psych authority saying that setting rules is a way to create a sense (illusion? Hmmm) of control, plus the passage at the end where the woman describes throwing away the rules upon meeting her now-husband based on gut instincts. Not to say the latter woman doesn't have particularly sharp instincts, especially after what she's experienced and lived through. But does that apply to less experienced women whose supposedly God-given instinc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 07:58 PM
3

Thank you. It took years to shake off that experience-- shudder. 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 07:14 PM
33

Shows you how critical radical feminism is to the progress of anti-neoliberal movements. Women's equality mobilization is historically one of the first social elements to be targeted in authoritarian takeovers. I think this is partly because gender and racial equality are equally the backbone of humanism, partly because authoritarians are intrinsically rapey, and partly because men in general of any broad political pursuasion can so easily be led by the nose by being promised sexual power over w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 07:02 PM
11

Wow, I had no idea. I thought the Murdochs took over a publication that was orginally intended as a mainstream "groovy/lefty" platform. But now it seems possible it was originally intended as Platonic "entryism" to steer shallow mainstream liberals into supporting piecemeal fascy policies. Classic. It sounds like McInnes was booted just for being too overt. Even James Murdoch, who's every bit as neoliberal and fascistic as daddy and who recently joined Vice's board, is out there libby-virtue-sig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 06:11 PM
10

You're far more generous than I would be to call this boss merely "blocked" and "underevolved." To me, what you're describing is a classic ab.user who leads with self-effacing charm and no doubt self-pity when it serves him. Ab.users ab.use because it's pragmatic-- it works for them in controlling others. Personality disorders like narcissism involve too much manipulation and Machiavellianism to be considered "mental illness" per se. Genuinely mentally disabled people would never have the presen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 05:37 PM
4

I never get too specific on reddit because trolls.🤫
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 04:43 PM
7

The founder director of the company was pretty old by the time the story hit the papers. He died of cancer after claims surfaced. He'd been well known in his field and there were still a few sickeningly coddling obits despite his fall from grace. Several years after I left, after #MeToo was launched, and in cases going back 20 years or more, about a dozen women came forward credibly claiming ra.pe, some of whom had been children at the time. He'd allegedly ra.ped his own son's teenage friend, co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 03:59 PM
134

Vice is controlled by the radical right wing, porn-invested Murdoch family, owners of Fox News and the model for the series Succession. Absorbing, buying up and taking control of supposedly lefty media like Vice is a form of "entryism" that goes back to Plato. Plato argued that getting control of the left or "humanitarian" element of society is the most effective means of paving the way for authoritarian rule (despite the hippie-sounding Plato memes circulating on the web, Plato is the ideologic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 12:56 PM
15

In theory it was a looming lawsuit but, in reality, there was no chance that would happen. Even trying to record conversation's without all parties' consent was illegal in that region and not admissible in court. So without cooperating witnesses, there was no corroboration. No chance of a coaltion forming to do the right thing. The libfem work wife was on the professional association's sexual assault/harassment task force (fox-enabler guarding the hen-house).The HR rep was obviously a former pic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 04:53 AM
91

Even if he has zero interest in sleeping with this friend, the dynamic creates an automatic competion with the wife of which woman provides better ego wankage for him, which one's more cool-girl, and which woman receives his confidences/complaints about the other. It's disgusting. This would be true even if the female "friend" had zero sexual attraction to men as well as him having zero atraction to her. There's no "lesbian pal loophole" for neglecting a wife/partner and no loophole for any hv w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 04:38 PM
7

"10 or 15 minute" speed fucks? Nein, danke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 03:26 AM
13

An author whose name I can't remember called it "sunny, macabre realism." I thought that was a keeper.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 03:18 AM
196

The insecurity is likely a reflection of her gut instincts about the guy being a disloyal, pervy POS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 03:08 AM
28

"How do I make him consider me?" This is every other 20-something I worked with. I'm really scared for my teenage kids. That's precisely why I'm on FDS. What are parents doing wrong that so many young women think eating shit (including accepting dad-aged clowns) is the path to relationship bliss? I feel like things are going backwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 09:34 PM
13

He asked her to move in and still calls it "his" kitchen? That certainly wasn't the first time he'd gone apeshit on her over "his" house rules.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 09:22 PM
35

I'd never grin in the face of another woman who's suffering, but humor is actually a specific tactic in Gene Sharp's "bible" of non-violent resistance and was employed by OTPOR to bring down Milosovic's dictatorship. There's also evidence that POWs who exhibited gallows humor were more likely to survive while in captivity. In any event, I've been at this a long time and personally think it's necessary to lower stress in order to live to fight another day. It's possible to cheerfully kick ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 08:00 PM
2

Could it be that he's starting to remind her of her old gramps? Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 05:39 AM
2

Great points. Food is medicine. Unfortunately, my kids and I are allergic to almost every vegan form of protein, so getting all protein from plants isn't an option. But we also don't eat dairy, and eat 99% organic, mostly plants and very low carb (Terry Wahl's protocol for autoimmunity). Our labs are so good that I've wondered if many of the caveats about meat are based on hormone- and antibiotic-boosted, conventional, factory-farm fare. I'd still prefer veganism if I had the option, but we stru…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 05:26 AM
2

I never read her books. I can't imagine what kind of wisdom she'd have to impart. How to date terrifying, married entertainment lawyers twice your age who dose you with GBH, film you having sex wirhout consent and then drop the video in a vault along with countless other videos of unconsenting women to blackmail you? Actually, that would have been a useful warning, but she never wrote about anything that real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 05:10 AM
3

I had an ex friend like this too. It was before I really grasped the principle that Pickmes suck as friends, but it made me sick when she confided flirting with a mutual friend's husband. She definitely had that "duper's delight" glow when describing the flirtation. Ugh, warped. When she started pimping friends to attend parties with really scary rich old coots, we "lost touch" (bye). Surprise-- she married a rich grandpa and became a bestselling self-help author, kind of a pickme guru.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 08:19 AM
2

I used to be afraid to judge people's sexuality and sexual choices. I'm still accepting except for "ab.uso-sexuals"-- people who get off on pain and betrayal. Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 08:09 AM
2

I'll try it! ;) Though I do like the sound of "tilingo" for tackily-dressed, status-conscious man-ho. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 08:03 AM
2

That's why I sometimes wish I'd been raised religious-- the jokes. If you go to Italy, humor gets progressively raunchier as you near the Vatican. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 07:59 AM
2

ME! ME! PICK ME!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 07:55 AM
8

Country Life is a great budget option-- reliably allergen-free and better than a lot of expensive boutique brands. Megafoods and Jarrow are excellent. Avoid "natural" brands taken over by White Wave junk food empire-- the quality goes down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 07:53 AM
10

I would think twice before working in a place with mean girl vibes. In my experience, it's invariably a toxic trickle down from rapey overlords.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 05:16 AM
19

And then the state takes the kids away. Since foster care and adoption began privatizing, the bar for what constitutes ab.use/neglect went way down, so messy house = grounds for removal. Cleaning isn't a genetic attribute of women. Women do this under the gun for various reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 05:02 AM
9

Do work relationships count? From my work experience, women who sleep with married or attached men are walking red flags. The men who use them are far worse, but I've noticed over time that chronic side dishes are never really friends to other women when push comes to shove. Career-wise, they'll invariably throw other women under the bus. Several I encountered had seriously split personalities and could be surprisingly violent, particularly when drinking. A few were kleptos, two plagiarized my w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:48 AM
65

Every one of the young women pictured is on the heavy side. Stress can severely lower immunity and eating may be for more than comfort but to protect the body from stress-related biochemical injury that can lead to serious infection, poor recovery and chronic disease, including cancer. If anyone finds themselves eating in response to trauma, view it as a serious health warning and go for the big guns, nutritionally speaking. It's a necessary adjunct to emotional recovery. Get good quality vitami…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:12 AM
25

I think the people who diss vanilla must eat at gas stations and need to work on riviving their burned-out palates. Organic, alcohol-free vanilla extract is about $6 to $12 per ounce and tastes nothing like the synthetic vanillin in commercial junk food.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 02:47 AM
8

I call rotten men bitches and rotten women assholes. It's harder in Spanish because the really vile insults are all feminized. So I just stick "o" on the end. There. Fixed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 07:49 AM
31

I feel left out. No one invites me to plot mayhem anymore. Where's my decoder ring?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 07:21 AM
3

Like "Sometimes I imagine hitting you in the head with a blunt object and fantasize about sex with underaged circus animals."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 04:42 AM
3

I've discussed it with mods and apparently I'm not the only one getting a higher level of "filtering." When it first started happening, no one knew what was going on but then enough reports came in to make it clear it was a thing. I still can't use the words ab.use or bat.terer. Mods can't fix it since it's coming from reddit. Truly weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 04:38 AM
65

I got one of those after posting some dv statistics from the perspective of a former advocate. My comments were in no way threatening self harm or even indicating personal crisis, just sort of sociological. Since then, my comments are singled out for censure by automod, as if automod has various settings and I've been placed on "high alert." Other commenters can use the terms, just not me. And I can't publish posts. In any case, I have to disguise words like "ab.use," "bat.tering/bat.terer" or "…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 04:52 PM
10

"Sometimes I wonder if housing continues to get more and more expensive in order to insure that men have some leverage over women." Perhaps it's not conscious, but the idea of men having a "collective-subconsciousness" or unconscious hive mind makes sense in that-- quite mysteriously-- so many broad economic policies somehow work out to make women more desperate and dependent. Another thng that mysteriously serves pervy interests: up to 15% of college students in some institutions being driven t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 04:38 PM
3

Withholding = dude's got creepy dark secrets, most likely sexual or criminal or both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 02:59 AM
7

I agree.point taken, exceot Schwartzenegger is pretty abu.sive to women. Ceasing the worship of rapey icons would probably go a long way towards encouraging women to have "agency" (starting with the right to say no to sexual aggression).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 02:52 AM
4

The clock stops entirely if you get an STD from some filthy creep that permanently screws up your fertility or if assholes stress you to the point of failing health. Conversely, people who manage to live a balanced life can have a biological age decades younger than their actual age. There's an actual study of how those who who protect themselves from "aging anxiety" and think of themselves as "still young" are clinically and biologically markedly younger than their peers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 02:07 AM
3

Objectification saps your soul. Ani DiFranco-- I want you to pay me for my beauty I think it's only right 'cause I have been paying for it All of my life https://youtu.be/cfB_7igQlnQ
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 01:56 AM
6

Watched Love Actually again, a nearly 20 yr old British romcom, and realized all but two of the relationships depicted were majorly age-gappy. One that wasn't involved the husband's adultery with-- you guessed it-- the much younger asistant. The other doesn't pan out. Toxic crap, waste of time. Edit-- correction. Emma Thompson is 13 years younger than the late Allan Rickman. So only one non-age gap relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 07:40 AM
10

It definitely sounds as if this so-called friend knew what happened. "Ab.uso-sexuals" exist who'll ra.pe anything that breathes regardless of the rap.ist's "regular" preferences. Cops call them "try-sexuals" because they'll "try" anything. I had to use the one self-defense maneuver I'd learned against a 6'2", 180 LB gay guy who tried to strangle me with a belt after I brushed off a pass, thinking it was a joke. We knew and worked with people in common and everyone knew he was gay, so I thought n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 08:51 AM
71

It was so common to have to bat down attempts by men to neg my friends that I developed a literal schtick in response. It's so obvious that it's a way men test you to see if you can be carved from the herd and isolated, precisely because women with close female allies are much harder to "bring to heel" and control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:36 AM
25

There was a study posted a while back about how men may have evolved to view themselves as way hotter than they are because, if they were easily discouraged by constant rejection, most would give up and never procreate. Whatever. Our ape ancestors regularly committed cannibalism and infanticide. Those things are rather frowned upon in modern humans, so there's no need to give evolutionary alibis to old coots trying to bang young women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:21 AM
2

"Creative" but with a corporate soul, male-dominated, high stakes, sort of neofeudal and undemocratic with enormous power concentrated at the top and legions of desperate serfs scrambling over each other below.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:11 AM
66

Women pimping other women, playing "beard" for illicit workplace affairs or otherwise making themselves useful to pervy creeps are a thing in my former profession. It's kind of a way to climb the ladder by delegating or outsourcing bangmaid services. It's frequently done by women who either aren't in demand for that purpose themselves or don't sleep with men. I was put in dangerous situations by women like this from the time I finished school. There seems to be something a bit psychopathic drivi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 04:53 PM
6

I thought Betty Draper was way too tragic and gray to be exactly a beacon of badassery. She clinically dissociates in Season 1 rather than face Don's adultery. She doesn't dump Don for physically ab.using her or rampantly cheating, but because his origins were checkered. She has no boundaries with the obsessive neighborhood boy, is so immature and unhinged that she nearly drives her son to ulcers, then marries another control freak who basically mol.ests her in a limo out of jealousy. Then she d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 07:46 AM
4

"She half-joked that sex positivity now feels like a cross between a male conspiracy and a cynical marketing ploy. 'I really think it’s overlord men, somehow,' Katie laughed. 'There’s always a Don Draper behind it.'" Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 07:22 AM
16

That's what art is for-- to say all the things you'd get sent to social Siberia for if you said them at a cocktail party.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 05:30 AM
3

Ha-- heard that one. So glad someone "corrected" that Pickme-poacher/NLOG anthem if that's the case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 05:26 AM
52

Scrotian translator: "In the process of divorcing" = cheating. "Separated but living together"-- cheating. "Staying for the kids"= cheating. "Dead bedroom" = 1) Dead because he's cheating; 2) she won't reenact painful porn positions; 3) Not dead at all and gave his wife silent HPV infection via Craigslist hooker that will become cancerous in ten years. Then he'll use widowed status as pity-ploy to get laid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 05:57 PM
22

Other research has found dv victims were more likely than average to have careers. And DV expert Lenore Walker noted that bat.tered women tend to have had higher than average pre-ab.use self-esteem. Post-ab.use self-esteem obviously might not reflect this, which is why clinicians frequently commit the error of "misapplication of contingency"-- assuming the post-abuse messed-up state of the victim is "proof" she came into the relationship in a "psychologically deficient" state. Worse, clinicians …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 11:46 AM
43

Not that getting money she's owed needs to be justified, but, politically, she has a responsibility to hold the line and make an example of the company or else every other actress will continue to be ripped off in the same way, regardless of whether they can afford it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 11:03 AM
17

That thought consumed me when I was pregnant with my daughter-- that she could be prey to pervs. It's not something I thought about much before even though I'd studied experimental women's lit in college which circles around the theme of child sexual ab.use a lot. But that moment was the time for my brain to run the "fight training simulation" and "potential disaster head-film" programs. Glad I had those brain apps. It's possible to protect daughters and raise them to protect themselves, but no …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 02:54 AM
13

In social science (I think under a general heading of typical bystander "cognitive distortion"), it's sometimes referred to as the "safe world effect" among other names. It goes something like this: "God is in his heaven, the world is safe and only good things happen to good people like me. So if something bad happens to you, I must search for flaws in you or something 'bad' you did that 'explain' why you brought it on yourself in order to convince myself that the same misfortune will not befall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 11:10 PM
12

The last time I saw her was at a wedding years ago because we live so far apart at this point. But I remember she could walk on her hands and draw anything. Also that, though she was something like 32DD and fit and got pressure from men she dated to wear revealing clothes they could show her off in, she never changed her style (just the men, lol). She had access to top designers but dressed classically and comfortably most of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 12:10 PM
15

I'm not one to defend men out of hand, but more testosterone = furnace when they sleep. My husband showers up to three times a day. But like another commenter noted, sweat has urea in it. He sweats when he sleeps. It's nice to sleep next to a furnace on really cold nights, but what makes me forgive him is a) he's kind of sheepish about it; b) did laundry until we could afford to hire someone else to do it. My teen sons are kind of turning into testosterone-monsters-- the deep voices, etc. But th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 11:46 PM
177

She wasn't easy to warm to and was only really close with childhood friends. I thought she was like some ancient nature goddess who could make your crops grow or drown your village in a flood according to whim. She always intimidated me a bit. I'm embarrassed to admit that, at first, I didn't understand why men were so head-over-heels over such a flinty personality. She could be almost duplicitous, putting on a sweet act in certain company (why show your hand to the enemy?), but also had a death…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 10:36 PM
450

I love this subject. Yes, memories of attending the massive cathedral wedding of the "meanest" chick in our group of friends after college make me smile. She was so impenatrable even I was a bit reserved around her at first. She would barely make eye contact if she didn't know you well. But it was eventually clear that, because she set the standard of setting standards for the group, a lot of Pickme bystanders attacked her for "playing games with men" and men negged her because they couldn't get…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 08:45 PM
1

I agree about Mr. Mason, but would argue he and his son are actually the only hvm characters on the show. Maybe Dr. Clarkson waves some green flags I also agree about Bates, plus the heat he puts on Anna when finding Mary's condom was creepy. Molesley, like Bates, is way, way too old for Anna when he briefly starts breathing on her. They had to make the maid Branson screwed cartoonishly wicked to absolve him of fucking the peasants. Lord Grantham soul-kisses another maid (because he's in crisis …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 09:05 AM
3

I sense caffeine or psychostimulant ab.use. Maybe it's just a "comic" persona she created, but I couldn't really listen to the words, just found the behavior and tics concerning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 08:06 AM
40

Kind of like Benjamin Button? He seems to be growing the extra chins, wrist-rolls and baby belly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 07:41 AM
5

I love your alias btw. I agree that ab.users come in every stripe. Whether they're masters of the universe types or working class, women still have to vet, vet, vet. As a former advocate for dv survivors, I have often wondered if some women choose "career losers" simply because rich and powerful ab.users can be so much more dangerous in key ways and are so much harder to escape. It all depends on what any particular woman is more terrified of: eventual poverty or being controlled like a puppet b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 08:48 PM
4

I used to be nice! But now that I have three beautiful teens who face a future in a porn zombie-ridden realm that would devour or corrupt them in a heartbeat if they weren't prepared to fight back, I've gone full Shiva. Aside from educating them about social justice from early on, one of the survival tools we've raised the kids with is gallows humor about human iniquity. Now they're all sweet kids but wickedly funny about this stuff. I'm the hand that rocked the cradle and I rocked it hard. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 07:46 PM
3

It's a worthwhile journey. A few things I forgot... Regarding Prozac snd SSRIs, I saw this very elegant, simple study presented by the authors in 2007: https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.0020392 The takeaway is that there's zero clinical evidence antidepressants are anything like "insulin for diabetes" as industry likes to sell them. If anything, they're just "emotional painki.llers" (with all the attendant risks and downsides). At the same conference, I saw a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 07:17 PM
3

If you hadn't read much on the subject before, you certainly have sharp instincts. For what it's worth, here are some books and authors (not Scientologists) and links (not Amazon, lol): Congressional whistleblower Dr. Peter and Ginger Breggin's The War Against Children of Color (or Med Madness or Talking Back to Prozac or Toxic Psychiatry or anything else they've written, plus his website). https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/948823.The_War_Against_Children_of_Color Journalist Robert Whitaker…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 06:36 PM
7

This is a really complicated subject. Were all the people who went nuts on meds already evil? I don't know. Some obviously were. Ter.ro.rists, like bat.terers, sometimes drink and/or take drugs deliberately to amp up their own aggression like the Norwegian mass ki.ller did. But some were just following doctor's orders. In the case of minors who went postal on meds, they often had no say on what meds they took. I do know one thing: men as a poplation have always been dicey and vio.lent throughout…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:15 PM
36

Thanks for saying it. I can't stand the writing or the broader messages. I see the show through the lens of parenting three teens. I never bothered with it when it originally aired. The dialogue always seemed stilted and dumb and the medical situations were absurd. Through the parent lens, at root, the Meredith character seems like nothing but a co-creep and does ghastly things, but it's all glossed over with this "twin fwame" drivel. Dangerous. That's the worst part of the series: selling this …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 06:47 AM
2

"I immediately got the ick." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I just love that expression. "Ick" such a safe instinct to have-- swerve your snow sled left well before it slams into the brick wall of dead-end emotional investment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:17 AM
8

You're waay more generous than I am to feel sad for someone whose exploitative entitlement and privilege had consequences for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 02:50 AM
15

I agree with you. About 1 in 6 or 7 boys and young adult men are now on psychoactive medication cocktails according to Pharmageddon author Dr. David Healy. Old report, so current rates may be even higher. Healy (who I should point out is not a Scientologist) also warns that, while some don't experience side effects, these drugs can increase or even induce aggression, vio.lence and suicide as per black box warnings, particularly in young men (according to his mother, Elliot Rodger had been in psy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 02:26 PM
6

Yikes. NEVER go to couple's counseling with an ab.user. --Cheating is just a less athletic form of domestic vio.lence. It arises from the same MO, psychology and personality disorders as dv. As if unconsented exposure to ST.Ds isn't endangering enough, cheaters, if not already physically ab.usive, are statistically more likely to eventually become so. --No ethical therapist will agree to work with or reconcile a couple where ab.use is taking place. They could lose their license. -- Because of th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 07:37 AM
10

Read evolutionary scientist and primatologist Richard Wrangham's Demonic Males: Apes and the Evolution of Human Violence for interesting research on the question of whether true matriarchies ever existed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 06:50 AM
19

Where's he buried?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 06:23 AM
146

I can't think of a bigger incentive for men to question porn use than losing the use of their dicks by 21. Too bad more aren't motivated by basic humanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 06:18 AM
6

You know, come to think of it, I have heard of this but in past generations before the modern "entitled slacker scrote trend." Like the vio.lent, controlling bat.terer father of a guy I prosecuted for workplace stalking. According to stalker-douche's sad tales of woe (to fish for sympathy prior to going psycho), his rich "pillar-of-community" father had worked his way from abject poverty through medical school before marriage or having kids. Obviously this doctor dad wasn't really doing it for t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 09:41 PM
12

Good to know. I have a friend like this-- raised her own half-sibs when parents died. No surprise she's also an ACLU award-winning activist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 08:38 PM
10

Hard to say what triggers can contribute to or "cause" schizophrenia. The one thing that's clear is that schizophrenia has been rising in rate for more than a century as the researcher quoted in the article alluded to. One late director of schiziphrenia studies at the NIMH (Loren Mosher, probably the last independent researcher ever employed at the agency who wasn't on the pharma or genetics industry payroll) concluded the same thing: it can't be purely genetic or rates wouldn't rise. Mosher rej…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 07:49 PM
6

"we all know that immediately after that phase comes the lonely creepy bitter old depressed man phase"... lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 02:11 PM
93

I've never heard of a single and/or childless guy working two jobs. It need not be mentioned that married men are often "trained" by marriage as far as manners (at the expense if wives' emotional labor) and are also likely getting laid regularly. In other words, they're better equipped than singles to play at being "gallant" and "patient" while actually being the definition of douchey, dangerous, corrupt creep. But the OP's point still stands. Clearly men being considerate and courtly is in the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 12:52 PM
11

"Male feminists" emoting over sex worker pride reminds me of Lewis Carroll's The Walrus and the Carpenter. I weep for you,' the Walrus said: I deeply sympathize.' With sobs and tears he sorted out Those of the largest size, Holding his pocket-handkerchief Before his streaming eyes. O Oysters,' said the Carpenter, You've had a pleasant run! Shall we be trotting home again?' But answer came there none — And this was scarcely odd, because They'd eaten every one."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 12:06 AM
6

Oh, and that Hoover-coined "conspiracy theory" to paint even the most sober institutional analysis as woo. Meanwhile, oops, turns out organized crime wasn't a myth as Hoover claimed. It's interesting because, reading between the lines of Sunstein's paper and some of the Snowden-leak documents, I had the impression that inventing weirdo woo conspiracies (like "flat earth," Pizzagate, etc.) serves the dual purpose of 1) providing a dead-end pressure valve for plebes to express their unprocessed, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 11:59 PM
7

Yay, like minds! But it's all really unsettling. Thank you for Bezmenov link. Have you been following Succession, the thinly veiled series on the Murdoch empire? Murdoch is completely capable of covertly backing and optimizing a psycho fas.cist astroturf movement of vio.lent misogyny. It would bolster up Murdoch media's base audience, feed eyeballs and souls to Murdoch's porn investments; bleed interest away from environmental and consumer safety mobilization that's the bane of Murdoch's petrole…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 10:57 PM
36

I've always suspected the latter day rise of the manosphere was an astroturf operation, basically invented in a boardroom, spread to the plebes through social media and the flames fanned with anonymous donations. With her book Backlash, Susan Faludi documented in the 90s how organized feminism threatens corporate profits, but also threatens the entire top down corporate structure and mentality even beyond profits. In any case, IMHO, the manosphere always had a canned feel. If anyone remembers po…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 07:09 PM
17

It can cause breakouts on the face if someone's prone, but once you're out of the breakout stage and you don't mind smelling a little like suntan lotion, you can use it for nearly everything. Face, hair, body moisturizer, makeup removal, lip balm, stir frying, baking or... sex lube/candida-prevention. My teen daughter has 3b hair and I have 3a and coconut oil is excellent dressing in winter or dry weather, though it's not super protective for heated styling. I just keep the heat down because I p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 08:34 AM
30

The guy is mental and could be dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 07:09 AM
37

Odor is also the sign of a cheater. Staph bacteria, including the dreaded MRSA, can be sexually transmitted. According to infectious disease specialists, MRSA smells like cheese. Double ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 06:58 AM
17

Search online for organic DIY recipes as a transition away from chemical products that destroy the balance of positive bacteria. I say "transition" because products for internal use shouldn't be necessary at all. Unless you're having sex twice a day, not even water should be necessary. The only thing I might recommend that does no harm in daily use (for those not allergic) is virgin coconut oil, which is naturally antifungal and can double as lube. A good all-around health tip is finding a highl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 06:55 AM
2

Tonight, my husband and I went out to a swank restaurant and noticed that, in a ring around our table, there were six couples all mismatched in the same exact way. One couple was older, one couple had 3 kids with them, the other four had no rings but didn't look like they were on first dates. They looked like they were forever-dating. In all cases, the women were nice and intelligent looking, well dressed, and reasonably fit, not too much makeup, natural healthy hair (aka, "wife material") and a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 04:05 AM
1

Sounds like you were lucky in a sense. I remember someone I grew up with getting hooked on Harlequin romance novels as a teen, which are basically softcore rape porn. All her adult relationships were a complete disaster. To this day, she radically switches into this absurd, sort of age-regressed, "passive" act around men she finds attractive. It's like cringy southern belle except she's not southern and doesn't typically act that way. Something about early exposure to objectifying, hateful and a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:27 AM
3

She's awful. I do feel sad about whatever horrors and traumas might make people so monstrous. But my sympathy doesn't extend to taking shit off them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:13 AM
12

Slight chance his eye shape is ancestral but he looks like an underdeveloped babyman for his age and has that super thin, dry hair, flat face and flat, thin upper lip, so it smacks of FASD and neglect. I'm not religious but I was impressed that a Seventh Day Adventist, homeschooling family that ran an organic vegetable stall at the local hippie market had essentially "cured" two sisters with FASD that they'd adopted from Russia using dense nutrition and integrated environmental medical approache…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 07:56 PM
4

My dad, a combat vet and rad feminist, hated these shows. He'd unplug the TV and tell me to "Go cure cancer or something." He'd mimic cheesy "doormat format" pop ballads in a wailing voice. He drove me into every kind of extracurricular activity to keep me away from the "idiot box." That's why I can type 120 words a minute, shoot a crossbow (used to be able to anyway), swim long distances, passably speak French, sew historical costumes, dance salsa, recite Shakespeare, sing madrigals and build s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 07:15 PM
3

A generation of tweens and teens grew up on shows like Gray's Anatomy and you can see the effects of the libfem training. So glad to hear you escaped the media cult. Some don't. After I worked on the media research project for victim advocacy, I witnessed an icky real life demonstration of the principles of it. At one place I worked, a 20-something office assistant (later unqualified manager) at work who was a fanatical GA follower, decided she'd found her own McDreamy-- a married dad twice her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 06:14 PM
37

Grabbing the hair? Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:29 PM
54

It's all fun and games being Barb the Builder until your Frankenscrote creation plots to sla.ughter 3000 people because he can't get laid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:26 PM
28

Terribly depressing. The ab.use and permanent stigma is not worth $1m a year, much less the measly pocket change most make. The mental health issues and trauma even top earners will accrue from their brief stints suggest the money will most likely disappear from compulsive spending to balm their injured souls before they hit middle age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 05:43 AM
134

Fetal alcohol syndrome, terrible diet and vio.lent porn. Modern manhood at its finest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 05:19 AM
5

🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 05:03 AM
17

Groan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 04:58 AM
16

I'm "too thin" according to my doctor. I had to show her some multi-generational photos of my family and assure her I eat enough calories to get her off my back. She was worried I'd lose more weight when I decided to go ketogenic to manage a chronic sports injury, so I sent her links on how some use the diet to lose weight or gain weight among many other more important health applications (seizures, diabetes, etc.). But despite what my doctor said and random comments from the peanut gallery, I'm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 02:53 AM
3

"Wasn't even divorced" as in "still married" and gaslighting his wife? Sorry to hyperfocus on phrasing. I think working in dv survivor advocacy has left me permanently triggery about use of language, so bear with me. I never watched the show for entertainment but as part of a project to study "dv myth acceptance" in media. When cheating and gaslighting and all the other horrors that typically go with infidelity (dissipation of marital assets, verbal and psychological degradation of the betrayed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 07:05 PM
26

Been there. Among many other jibes my Pickme MIL, whom we've been NC with for years now, aimed at me from the time we got engaged, she repeatedly implied that I had an eating disorder because I was "always eating but so (made gesture for toothpick with fake-worried expression)." Naturally she was overjoyed that I put on a ton of weight during each of my pregnancies. More of me to neg! Though my Genius Grant winning OB from Finland insisted I eat, felt that the weight gain was no concern and pred…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 04:54 PM
4

Amen. A Taoist expression one of my allies shared with me at the time: "Never rob anyone of their consequences." Yet everyone coddles men and cushions their falls from grace. Not us. 😈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 04:01 PM
7

I was kidding about questioning her firing of the actor for preying on an underling. Of course that had to be done. But I stand by what I wrote that she spins justifications for cheating. Being market savvy about cheating themes being engrossing to the public doesn't take away from the fact that she's been largely "siding" with cheaters and proxy cheaters in her depictions.. As a former advocate for dv survivors, I recognize cheating as one of the weapons of ab.use. It makes me wince that, like …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 01:31 PM
13

My fellow prosecutorial, wired-for-sound rebel... I did the same thing many years ago and never regretted it. I had no choice either. Even though the state was ostensibly an "all party consent" state and I had recorded a workplace perp by stealth, the criminal court judge hung the recordings over the head of the perp to get him to plead no contest to charges of terrorist threat and assault. Then the female civil court judge ruled the recorded evidence admissible in trial under an odd loophole th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 07:26 AM
44

I don't eat lunch so just keep your hands away from my face at dinner or you'll lose them. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:57 AM
58

Translation: MARRIED.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:52 AM
26

Like the Pickmelia coworker who confessed bursting into tears in the middle of sex and saying to the guy, "Do you have feelings for me or are you just using me??" She was so chuffed he said "I luh luh luh love you" as a condition of resuming sex. I winced but said nothing. Anyway, that situationship was dead in the water a short while later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:45 AM
27

Derek's character was killed off when the married actor fucked an intern on the show and was dumped by his wife. I thought it was funny how the writer-producer basically created justifications for the married character to cheat with an underling and then is outraged that the actor playing him actually mimicked the story line. Every show Shonda Rimes has writen spins justifications for adultry, typically at the expense of the betrayed characters. You'd think she'd accept cheating actors as a sort…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:35 AM
9

Plus Derek McDouchy is married, a slightly irritating obstacle to which Meredith-- before an audience of millions of impressionable tween girls-- responds with the infamous "PickMe" speech: https://youtu.be/ax4Hu1zuGkI
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 06:24 AM
1

Something about Dutton's book really gets through to a lot of people. It was a favorite in the online library for a dv survivors' advocacy network I worked with years ago. Triggers a lot of "Aha" and "Holy shit" revelations. One thing the author said about ba.tterers is that they channel far more energy into image management than normal people. It's basically one big con from start to finish. There's no "there" there-- they're onions. They're not traditionally split personalities, but there are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 04:23 AM
4

From the many survivor narratives I've heard and weirdos I've personally encountered (shriek), what you describe is familiar-- the needy creeps "working towards" indifference to an intimate partner as a goal that they never quite achieve but they get better and better at cruelly feigning contempt and even convincing themselves of it intermittantly. Meanwhile, the victim has no clue that there's a war being waged for who can reject the other first, for who can achieve contempt first or why anyone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 11:45 PM
2

Consider sending cashiers checks to the wife in installments for every penny spent on you during the affair. Though it would be better to warn her she's married to a manwhore because gaslighting and STDs can k.ill, do it anonymously if you're afraid of the guy. Either way, you'll be better off if you repair your "karma." Financial ab.use of joint assets is at least one part of cheating that can be technically amended. I don't really believe in karma except in the sense that normal people tend to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 08:23 AM
2

That might work if you also do a Robin Hood and send your share of the tabs back to the wives as a means of redistributing douches' embezzled cheater-slush funds back to their families. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 08:10 AM
6

What do people like this get out of it? Google "mate poaching + dark triad." There were a rash of studies on it a few years back. I found the studies interesting because, when I started out working in a male dominated, harassment-laden industry, I didn't know quite what to make of the chronic side-dishes I encountered. The industry seemed to be loaded with them-- naturally the hiring choices of shitty old douches at the helm. These women seemed to single me out to confide, as if getting a naive,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 07:57 AM
3

She was married to a dangerously dissociated pseudo-bumbler and likely incrementally got moved and nudged into the role of managing his manbaby incompetence. I'm sure her intangible sense of anxiety at being in daily proximity to a future mur.derer/baby ki.ller made her restless and exhausted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 07:30 AM
3

And it goes back to our ape ancestors. If that sounds like an "evolutionaty excuse" and bid for clemency for ab.users, infanticide and cannibalism also go back to ape ancestors and no one's about to normalize or greenlight those acts. Btw, there's evidence humans evolved as monogamous. One theory by leading evolutionary scientist Richard Wrangham, author of Demonic Males: Apes and the Evolution of Human Violence, is that language development got a boost in early humans because gossip was a means…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 06:50 AM
3

Why load a dishwasher when they can just emit intimidating micro-cues that get women to do it for them? An effective bat.terer doesn't often have to use fists to instill chronic anxiety in women. Bat.terers operate on a beat-by- need basis and most of it is just maintenance-coercion and gesture warfare to induce scurrying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 06:46 AM
6

I they don't randomly beat up their boss, attack armed security at the mall, or eat old pizza crusts out of the trash, yet claim "mental problems" made them ba.tter their partner with a golf club, that's a criminal disorder. People with intermittant psychosis don't have the mental clarity to choose targets, manipulate witnesses, conceal their crimes and frame their victims like typical bat.terers do. But they are disordered all the same. Bat.terers can get carried away while attacking a partner …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 06:24 AM
3

Perfect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 12:28 PM
75

It was always tough for reseachers to figure out MO in domestic mu.rder because perps lie about motivation or blank it out, just like they lie about or "disremember" ab.use from their own childhoods. DV researcher Donald Dutton, who studied bat.terers and partner ki.llers in prison settings for decades, wrote about how extraordinary it was that ab.users could remember so little about their own actions or what they thought or felt while committing them, whereas victims would have total recall bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 05:53 AM
7

See comment below. I was just thinking the same thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 05:47 AM
126

It's just a less athletic form of dv. All bat.terers cheat. It's usually the first tact they take to decrease and dilute their own pathological dependency on partners, something to do with internally-generated, randomly-shifting, dueling irrational fears of being either abandoned or "engulfed." The most dangerous ab.users tend to conceal their own dependency on partners, even from themselves. The latter is more likely to eventually commit lethal vio.lence than an openly jealous or territorial ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 03:50 AM
1

Uncreepy hugs in return. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 09:26 PM
6

You could always say, "Bless your heart, but I'm a 63 year old grandmother. If I dropped my professionalism, I'd be calling everyone 'dear' and asking them if they ate their vegetables." If and when he finds out you're not 63, what's he going to say? That you were "unprofessional" for pulling his leg?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 07:40 AM
7

Trying to suck in his gut in the first pic while narcing at the camera-- lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 07:19 AM
10

The mind of a stage four alcoholic/porn zombie in print. Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 06:52 AM
2

✌I always thought that was an old-timey classic that everyone recognizes, but turns out it was coined by a self help author I've never heard of. https://images.app.goo.gl/1Xiz2Q7eDV36DSUC7
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 05:27 AM
5

Thanks. I'm sure borderline personality disorder tops the list of infamously misapplied labels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 05:18 AM
3

But if we're vegan, bulls won't gore us, right? ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 01:58 PM
11

It's shocking. I once met the screenwriter of Casualties of War, an 80's film about a Vietnam soldier who reported other squad members for ra.pe and murder. I told the writer that I thought the film was excellent and that my mother had watched it about six times when it was released. For some reason, it spoke to her, probably because she worked in a male dominated industry. I was really surprised at how moved the writer was that anyone liked the film. He said it was personal to him because he'd …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:16 AM
8

I was only able to get rid of these creeps because I had allies. They were like magical elves and I was incredibly lucky. But I'd been in many work situations where I had no allies. In circumstances where harassment and ab.use of power are going on (basically, everywhere I worked), it can drive you half mad to face it alone. If I could go back, I wouldn't walk into these situations blind like I did when I left school. Even if I won certain battles, it was all so gory and stressful. I think if I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 03:55 AM
33

Another group of culprits in Plath's case as in Spears' were the shrinks and the misogynist tradition of organized psychiatry to ignore the role of gender inequality and ab.use in women's suffering. Spears had been prescribed a slew of antidepressants and prescription meds that more than likely contributed to her earlier breakdown and kept her at a disadvantage. No surprise her dad enforced taking meds and would report her if she tried to withdraw. According to psychiatric expert Dr. Peter Bregg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 06:46 PM
124

God, I hope all the commenters were male, but chances are there was a "cool girl" or two piping in. It's probably lucky she was the only female in that class so she could be spared the doubly bitter betrayal of watching the other girl side with the rapey dudes. It was always interesting that, in the same exact settings, in the same institution or workplace, sometimes even dealing with the same exact men, women would report vastly different experiences. The scene from Promising Young Woman when M…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 05:25 PM
6

Wow, if only I could mind-control men and make them do uncharacteristic things merely by withdrawing sex, there would be no more wars!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 05:02 PM
2

The slow, unblinking psychopath smile worked pretty well on the NYC subway. All bullies believe in witches and demons. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:24 PM
2

No one cries more than bat.terers. As an advocate, I heard survivors describe the crybaby antics (over sad movies, lost puppies in the pound, landmine victims in Myanmar, in imitation remorse, etc.) and saw them blubber in courtrooms as they purjured themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:17 PM
7

Porn site owner Paulita Pappel is so "concerned" that requiring viewer age verification will marginalize queer porn performers and performers of color. "My heart bleeds," said the cat with canary feathers poking out of its mouth. Never mind a certain percentage of those performers are dead of vio.lence, sui.cide or od by the time anyone watches the videos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:06 PM
17

They do this because punching you could land them in jail. Cheating is increasingly viewed as a form of intimate partner violence because the MO, psychology and effects on victims are so similar. Virtually all bat.terers cheat. Bat.terers operate on a beat-by-need basis. If they can achieve the same sense of control and, most importantly, dilute their weird, secret, shamefully infantile dependence on partners through subvio.lent forms of abuse, most will take that route first before escalating t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 06:11 AM
29

Women are responsible for what men do because... women's bodies assembled all male fetuses? Or because we have telepathic superpowers and can make perfectly good men do very bad things WITH OUR MINDS?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:46 AM
6

Wow, pefect summary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 08:14 PM
113

Actually... makes more sense than the pill, etc., considering side effects.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 08:13 PM
2

It would be great if there was an FDS-approved sister sub that dealt entirely with ab.usive relationships and was moderated by experienced advocates. I agree that advocates' proxy trauma and burnout are serious hazards when dealing with harrowing territory like dv. It's where angels fear to tread. People die from taking the wrong advice which is why it's best left to pros. Not all professionals are equally helpful though. There are so many dueling approaches, not all of them female centered, emp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 07:47 AM
2

I think I saw the patterns for years before learning these were actual patterns. I know what you mean about people in helping professions often being warped. They generally try to conceal it beneath layers of conceit and authority. But "first hand experience" had a different expression in the organization I worked with, which was created by reform psychologists as an answer to how genuinely terrible the typical and mostly unsuccessful victim-blaming clinical response was to survivors of dv, rape…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 07:04 AM
1

Eek. Ever see the vintage film Sybil?https://youtu.be/VITwmPOt8UA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 04:16 AM
14

You know it. "Unlove" is a toxic, caustic, flesh-eating substance. Better to be alone with few devoted friends and a pet than be exposed to poison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 04:00 AM
2

You said it more surgically than I did: sucked in by the idolization phase of splitting behaviors. Yes, the hair-twirling, lip-biting, boneless-neck-and-wrists, me-so-vulnerable-and-worshipful behavior that ego-fluffs even so-called "nice" guys isn't often naturally occurring beyond age 8 in typically socialized girls, or maybe 16 in time-traveling orphan wards from the Victorian era or LDS cult girls raised in a padlocked shed. In modern women, the girly sparkletw.at routine is mostly a red fla…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:53 AM
3

We have to seek out those healthier models. They exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 02:49 AM
1

S
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 02:49 AM
2

Thanks for song for the anti-doormat collection.✌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 02:47 AM
11

Oh, we've all been there. It would be great if there was a whole genre of pop aimed at the lovelorn but that took it in a different, less doormat direction. There are already a lot of rebel ballads, but I'm thinking more of dissident rhapsodies that begin as pining lament to draw the attention of the romantically soggy and lovesick, but then end with a big "FU."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:48 AM
19

I'm sure it's been mentioned by various feminists, but I wish I knew of a book or research dedicated solely to that particular topic. Because the music and film industries have such clout and major cross-investment with other powerful industries and the whole shitshow is run by pervs, I'm wondering how researchers would get any funding to study "The deleterious effects of sappy flix and 'doormat format' ballads on post adolescent female autonomy and self investment."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:38 AM
25

Why was the post deleted? I'll respond anyway... Let's face it, there's a 99% chance that, if some woman went so far as to breed with a guy, it was the guy who fucked up his marriage. I have met a few decent-ish men who've been hustled and betrayed by women with clinical personality disorders. But, even then, there's an element of biblical irony in it more than biblical tragedy because these guys really wanted to believe these women's over-the-top suckuppy, simpering PickMe behavior was just aut…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 08:11 PM
116

"And for the love of God, stop day dreaming and projecting your wants on these men. It’s a trap." Amen. My radfem experimental women's lit professor, a published author and recognized scholar, used to warn about the psychologically damaging effects of romantic pop songs and films on women's autonomy. So I would add that if someone finds themselves drifting away into pining, projecting fantasy, don't add a soundtrack or cinematic treacle to pining and projecting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 07:28 PM
2

"So women - to keep husbands present, keep them docile, get them to plug in and contribute to the household again - shrink themselves and infantilize their presentation to emphasize how strong and “how much better” a man is at all these jobs she’s been doing in his absence." We should co-author the research paper to present and test various theories. Of course we won't get any funding from the old scrotes who run everything. They get the rare, unassisted hardon when office assisants lisp, coo an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 12:47 AM
1

I've probably been targeted over everything but height. Whatev is right. Ugh. Pea sized egos abound. But I try not to forget how this crap can alter girls' fates and that first impact can be devastating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 12:40 AM
1

I agree with every word you wrote. A(wo)men. It's funny that Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian have recently given up the twee Bambi voice thing. Probably because it eventually causes nodes (more on that below). I have a theory which is my theory which is mine...🙃 When I did a little ed detour (among several) to study theatrical costuming and fashion, I wrote a thesis about the noticable historic trend among many western cultures during or in periods following major wars to dress women up like bab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 08:22 PM
2

Tall daughters and/or daughters with black belts in karate-- that would ease mothers' worried hearts, right? The passive aggressive attacks from women-- very sad when people live by comparison, but it generates cruelty so I quickly shut those types out, even family. I'm a size 2 with 5 inch wrists so no one calls me "big" (though I happily called myself that when pregnant). But I sometimes get not-so-subtle and not-so-constructively-intended hints that I must have an eating disorder from random …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 07:32 PM
1

I've never even heard short men neg tall women. If anything, they might sulk, skulk and glare knowing they're never going to plant a flag on those inaccessible peaks (lol). Again, I'm afraid something must be shifting if women are now hearing these kinds of attacks in some places.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 06:30 AM
3

Yes, so true. There are no more high fashion "supermodels." These days, high fashion models are 14, 6'3", nameless, underpaid and don't get the distinction of mag covers. There are a few Insta influencers who cross over to the catwalk at times for cross marketing purposes and are allowed a bit of celebrity, but share no opinions and have nothing to say. So toxic industries no longer worry about megamillionaire models with massive press platforms shooting off their mouths about GMOs and climate c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 06:09 AM
9

It might be many factors. Now I'm really curious because I've seen so many comments on FDS about tall being somehow "bad." It's news to me. NY is still very international so people come in every size. But it's true that height is more likely to be viewed as an asset in major metropolises, probably both because of the fashion industry and because travelers from "tall" countries that generally have better economies and health profiles (why populations grow taller) aren't rare. I thought it was int…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:48 PM
1

I guess it depended on whether she liked him or not but, if she did, that must have been really hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:15 PM
7

It's scary to think that the advent of streaming porn and OnlyFans, etc., is changing the culture in such an extreme way that suddenly tallness in women has become "bad." Even as Vogue and runway models are taller than ever (6'3" isn't rare), maybe the quotidien cultural ideal has shifted to porn performers who are sought for shortness because they can play children. That would be really disturbing. Not that the eras that worshipped tallness weren't also restrictive and objectifying, but at leas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:11 PM
3

I agree with others who view this as an exercise for young women to understand they don't need to fear that poor health and elderly status are just around the corner. I also agree that, in showing that 63 doesn't have to be old, we also don't want to reinforce objectification, male-gaze-itis or solely conventional beauty standards. But I think that, when I was 21, I would have been reassured by the existance of fab, vital 60+ women of every shape, size and color. If anything, it counters a fear …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 06:04 AM
34

Scratching my head. 5'9" is on the short end for, say, Victoria's Secret models and downright midgety for runway. Height was always an asset in NY where I grew up. Is the whole world gradually shrinking?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:36 AM
30

I'm 5'9", studied dance since age 5 and stand ramrod straight. Never once have I been negged about my height by any man. I always liked being tall. When did being tall become a bad thing for women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 05:32 AM
10

Men's lifespans are 7-8 years shorter than women's on average. Imagining you actually like the guy you marry, who wants to spend 10, 15, 20 years as a widow? Basic math suggests it's best for women to marry men 7-8 years younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:33 AM
9

My guess is Columbian actor-models who still do occasional regional beer commercials. Definitely mid-60s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:27 AM
6

Thank you for saying it. They've both lopped off more than a decade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:24 AM
9

They'd "look good" for 67 or 71.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:19 AM
6

Smirky convertible gramps and "old man and the sea" can't be early 50s, can they? 😯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:18 AM
3

Of course. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:17 AM
2

I've probably just seen too much. Another thought regarding the optics-- unless a situation lands in court, there's no rule requiring a woman to tell anyone, much less her ex shithead partner, that she hired a sleuth for self protection or as preemptive defense against typical stalkery ab.users' attempts to destroy the lives, work, reps and families of women who escape. One can always say, "Gee, look at the full color photos of ex smoking crack with hookers that some caring anonymous whistleblow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 07:19 PM
13

"It’s like when a guy knows too much bog-standard pop-psychology lingo. Red flag." Yep! And if they know beyond bog-standard lingo, it might be a nuclear level red flag. Or a unicorn married to someone like you who broke it down for them. But mostly nuclear, sad to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:37 PM
3

Of course. That's the ideal. But I know a woman who successfully sued an ex for slander using recorded evidence of his ab.usive behavior after this ex tried to damage her career prospects. Then a few years ago I saw one of my earliest "clients" (from the time I did dv advocacy) on Nancy Grace describing how she, as a teen, used stealth recordings to not only escape her vio.lent father but get her bat.tered mother to safety, get the mother a great settlement, and get the dad booted out of public …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 06:22 PM
3

Divorce lawyers serving female clients in contentious divorces from ab.users think hiring PIs is a "great look" and smart. Maybe sometimes anxiety alone is an obstacle to escape, but quite often the anxiety is there for a reason, based on social context, political reality and the victim's intangible sense of genuine danger and risk. It's worth unraveling all those factors in keeping oneself safe and in trying to help anyone who finds themselves entrapped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 04:21 PM
9

Of course if you're single and childless and have your own income and social support, in theory it's better to bail. But in reality, women might need help from the legal apparatus or social context and gaining proof can help. There are many women who find their own friends or even their own families or children believe the ab.users' accounts, increasing thevrisk of seriius fallout from leaving and proof can bring allies to the victims' side or at least wed out wheat from chaff.Or she may need th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 04:15 PM
24

I've never met an openly neoliberal woke guy, only proudly knuckle-dragging righties who worship the "free market" religion. But I have met men who pretend to be both woke and left-leaning who, if you really boil them down to brass tacks and secret MOs, are beyond mildly tradcon and verge into culty, radical right neoliberal misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:04 PM
3

I actually would advocate recording calls where legal and in situations where things are getting weird or scary. I'd have zero qualms. It's typical for women to get intimidated and entrapped and to hesitate to take action because male aggression evolved to reach past our rational responses into the lizard parts of our brains that recognizes the simple fact that "angry man= potential death= play possum." So while in that wheel-spinning state of nearly autonomic survival paralysis, there's somethi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 02:39 PM
22

See my other response on the book The Bat.terer by Donald Dutton. That discussion is in one of his books and I'm pretty sure it was this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 02:35 PM
30

Criminologist Donald Dutton's The Bat.terer was kind of the bible of bat.terer psychology when I did advocacy for dv survivors. The author studied bat.terers and partner-ki.llers in prison settings for decades. The Batterer seemed to be Dutton's effort to summarize his clinical work in accessible form and "take it to the people" because, I suspect, the institutional and clinical arenas were too slow to shed the dinosaur view that bat.terers are just "poor sausages driven witless by the demon whi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 02:21 PM
104

Hero boy sounds too good to be true. I hope he is for real but the risk is that he's not. Clinical research of bat.terers shows that many have an attraction or alacrity for the "female perspective," including critiques and insights on misogynist male behavior towards women and the female victim experience. They study these things and seem to understand them better than average men. This is both pragmatic and an artifact of childhood ab.use. On the one hand, you catch more flies with honey-- attr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 01:29 PM
44

I seriously think women should set aside a fund and hire a PI if things get serious in a relationship or if they have children with someone whose behavior is becoming strange. The financial, health and mental health risks to women and children from ab.use and betrayal are enormous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 01:15 PM
47

Check the legality of it in your area. In some places you can record without consent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 01:05 PM
3

🌺☠🌺🤣🌺☠🌺
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 06:25 AM
2

OMFG. Pure genius.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 06:22 AM
2

Love it. At first I thought it was a 1940's advice column-- except for that ending.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 06:20 AM
39

There was a recent article on this by an international competitive swimming champion from NZ who'd been forced to practice in public pools and had been repeatedly attacked by men for out-swimming them. https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/swimming-abuse-women-catcalling-b1875324.html
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 06:16 AM
13

"Hydraulic" or "catharsis" theories of rage and aggression have been scientifically debunked over and over again (see below). I think that was one of the first things I read about in my behaviorism course. The idea that prostitution reduces rape is, at the very least, dumb and, at worst, simultaneously hands a blanket alibi to rapists and accepts that sexuality and aggression are necessarily intrinsically tied together. I would add a note that, considering how vulnerable most women are to aggres…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 05:38 AM
42

No bueno indeed. I keep saying this but it's worth repeating. I think men invented a "wall" for women because if the peak of manhood and virility had an official yardstick, it would be the cutoff age for enlisting as a US Marine or Navy Seal: 28. You couldn't even call it a peak, just the last year of viability. So hey, we get two extra years to invest in growth stock and multiply returns. Invest them well by making women's 20s about education, economic foundations and personal growth and put of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 05:22 AM
3

Brilliant post, gave me a huge revelation about why, as I've long suspected, corporate power and its media handmaidens astroturfed the "men's rights" movement into existance-- literally invented, funded and fanned the flames of it until it "caught on." OP wrote: "I don't see how this is sustainable long term, and with how online media is radicalizing young men to blame the victims in the situation instead of the handful of wealthy men taking all the resources..." We're all aware of various examp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 04:45 PM
4

I like your alias. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 07:49 AM
70

Cheating is ab.use. Ab.users have personality disorders. Personality disorders are nearly impossible to treat even with new clinical approaches like dialectical behavioral therapy. Even if they don't just use therapy to polish up their to.rture tactics, they'd have to show up in the first place and most won't. So, no, you don't have Voodoo superpowers to turn perfectly good, honest, decent, upstanding men into lying, sneaking, remorseless, gaslighting, ab.users who callously put the health, ment…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 06:45 PM
22

Unfortunately, this is my older sister with her sons, who had the best of everything for years. The younger one is an adult now and his life is spiraling out. He wants us to bail him out of problems caused by being a rage monkey. But we can remember this kid as a teen not wanting my middle child around his exclusive school at the time my son was chronically ill, disabled and craving attention from his older cousins. My son was too "embarassing" apparently, so all my kids were cut off. For the fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 03:51 PM
67

And hear the neighbors chewing corn flakes through those walls. I hate living in modern construction and avoid it. I like sleep. My family lives part of the year in a South American capital now-- definitely no fist-scars in the 110 year old cement neoclassical walls. You can sleep through Carnavale if you feel like it. But every original bathroom door looks like several generations of wives tried to hide in bathrooms while several generations of husbands tried to kick the doors in. The many crac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 02:43 PM
4

They often graduate from complaing to the female friend to complaining about the friend, particularly if the friend gives common sense feedback. I've got the bite scars up and down my back to prove it lol. I'm not so quick to rescue interpersonanally at this point. Advocacy is different because people are seeking specific support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 08:07 AM
11

WTF-- part viking? So now eugenics is making a comeback? Attributing "darkness," aggression and criminality to ethnicity is the heart of totalitarianism. In order to have a god-like, transcendant, genetically "superior" castes (Na.zis, etc.), one must invent and designate a lower, less moral, more criminal caste. Plus, designating entire groups of people as genetically immoral is very important to wars of aggression to justify kil.ling children, because the public otherwise generally frowns on s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 05:57 PM
5

Seeking to be energized doesn't sound that terrible and could be mutual. I know from the context my friend was discussing-- male putdowns, devaluing, cheating, coercion, aggression, comparing partners to other women and other destablizing and objectifying behavior-- the risk is being pitted against other women, seeing others as rivals and threats and scapegoating other women. The latter is also isolating, as it's intended to be. A woman with close relationships with other women is much harder to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 05:18 PM
6

I won't hide my sources. ;) https://youtu.be/EuwmWnphqII I haven't yet found a publication that gets all of it right 100% of the time. Democracy Now and The Intercept have shown some grit reporting on war, torture, racism, corporate corruption and govt. malfeasance. In general, I find the mainstream left (not left enough for me) defends big pharma too much (because science) and the right defends big oil and gas (big trucks and fighter jets). It makes sense if you see where the ad revenue comes f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 04:46 AM
30

To which she responded, "Thanks, Dad!" 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 07:00 PM
37

I remember a friend saying that one reason she never took shit off men was because every woman she knew who did would end up being a bitch to other women. I think it's true. If someone overdraws their "primary relationship devotion account" to the point of having a negative self-worth balance, they end up pilfering from the self esteem accounts of others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 06:58 PM
19

Yep. It's like handing a stranger a loaded gun and hoping for the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 07:11 AM
2

Read this book. https://www.amazon.com/Batterer-Psychological-Profile-Donald-Dutton/dp/0465033881 Short and to the point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:49 AM
1

Mollify-- what a word. So perfectly descriptive of what every woman has to do for countless men "or else." Case in point, this article that I read today. https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/swimming-abuse-women-catcalling-b1875324.html I relate to what you wrote here: "FDS is yet another armor plating in my psyche to protect myself against this sort of thing." Resisting the coercion to "mollify."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:44 AM
12

I was an advocate for dv survivors so I know how it goes. It's like watching someone undergo demon possession. Very often the victim is trying to protect bystanders from harm by withdrawing. Sometimes the victim fears being shamed by friends in a moment when the ab.user is overdosing her with shame since shaming is a major tactic of ab.use. I suppose the only thing to do is to say something cryptic like, "I know we're all really busy these days, but just wanted you to know I'll still be here and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 04:01 PM
1

It takes years to recover from that kind of ab.use. i hate the choicey-choice media's tendency to minimize the effects on betrayed spouses in this heavily monetized trend to normalize poly by way of promoting porn, sex work and cheater dating websites. I'm glad that, at least in the UK, infidelity and objectification in ltr is increasingly viewed as a form of intimate partner vio.lence. I was an advocate for dv survivors and all bat.terers cheat. Since then I tend to see it as bat.tering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:51 PM
27

Thanks, I miss things when I'm seeing red. 🤬 Makes sense. I suspect it's not just the fact the younger partner is expected to slow down to old coot pace but also that age-gapping men likely have darker personalities and are more toxic. I'm sure the male researchers didn't investigate that particular angle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:42 PM
22

Driving beyond your risk tolerance (speeding, tailgating, sudden lane changes) and getting pissy if you ask him to adjust. If you find your brake foot reflexively pumping while in the pasenger seat, think twice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 07:33 AM
77

Serial ab.users know the targets' friends will eventually align against the ab.user, so ab.users campaign to either win over the friends so they'll align with him or divide the friendships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 07:26 AM
104

No mention of the lifespan of younger wives forced to live oldster lifestyle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 07:12 AM
7

He's tucking his kids in, so... he's still married? If so, I think I understand the tendency to hyper-romanticize and rhapsodize with violins over the awful situationship. Because if it's not really and truly "twu wuv," then she's just a poacher and proxy ab.user of other women and children, and he's a creepy, ab.usive, mindfucking cheater, shitty dad and manwhore. So slap that twu wuv whitewash on the dogshit affair and hope it seals in the smell. She needs therapy and an STD panel. He needs to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 07:08 AM
1

Gaah, these guys are too clownish to be categorized as fiends. I like "cot case" lol. I hope his ex is much happier without him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 06:47 AM
7

The butterfly tattoo detail- lol. It's so obvious this guy is whining about a specific person. He wants to turn his experience into a general principle in the hopes of warning all men to stay away from her to fulfill the last thing he howled as she walked out the door:"You'll die alone with a bunch of cats!" The wail of a man who thought he had the perfect PickMe but she preferred to be "picked" by someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 10:38 PM
11

Lyrics by Depravity, tune by Simon and Garfunkle: Hello Bundy my old friend Whom I've internalized again Because Pornhub's my BDSM-training It left its seeds while I was scrolling And the vision that's installed in my brain Still remains I am possessed by Bundy In a trance I wank a lot To anal rape and trafficked tots Researcher long knew viewing this content Related to Ted Bundy's Vio.lence Bundy even said he got compulsions to make women bleed From imagery Now I'm possessed by Bundy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 10:24 PM
4

It does. https://images.app.goo.gl/JVB6uhcyjmEKyLro6 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 09:45 PM
3

Yikes, never mind old Ivans. On the other side of the family there's the same scenario you describe. I like the ethnic blending frankly (those overbred WASPS were going to expire of whitey-whiteness), but the people involved are very toxic so we went NC years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 06:51 PM
45

Glamour is run by Condé Nast that's a subsidiary of Advanced Publications which is owned by old men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 06:43 PM
39

I don't believe in midlife crisis as a real disorder but men do seem to defer the realization that they're going to age and die like everyone else. Lifelong serial cheaters tend to have meltdowns in their forties when they notice that the really primo younger women aren't smiling back. The naive, pretty girls they might once have gaslighted into deadend affairs when these guys were younger start making the "ew" face. To paraphrase the one quote from Milan Kundera that's worth paraphrasing, when …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 11:26 PM
14

I think the history of Iran is more complicated. The US and other hegemonic powers (really Shell Oil et al) drove a coup d'etat against secular Prime Minister Mosaddegh in 1953 when Mosaddegh atempted to nationalize the country's oil (like President Allende in Chile who attempted to nationalize copper and was taken out by US-backed coup in 1971). https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1953_Iranian_coup_d%27%C3%A9tat Iran's democratically elected leader was replaced in a sense by giving full power back …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 10:45 PM
49

My Euro MIL. 😱 We've been NC for nearly six years. It was like an exorcism. It's baffling when a MIL doesn't overtly behave like she's sexually possessive of her sons, but in treating DILs like usurpers, acts sort of like a street corner whore defending turf. There's still a hint of icky emotional incest in it. That woman had started tearing my face off from two weeks before the wedding. She couldn't even bear to hear her son's friends praise their wives and girlfriends. I thought she was pathet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 05:37 PM
4

That's why violent video games are training for drone operators to wipe out wedding parties in oil rich countries half a world away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 01:19 PM
14

Great analogy. My teen son calls porn "The McDonald's of sex."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 01:16 PM
40

Erm, trying to figure out how to deal with looming extended family celebration that will involve someone with that name and his third massively age-gapped wife. Without a lot of distractions (someone please hire a magician or accidentally set a house fire), my squeamishness for the situation is going to leak out. Even if I hide it, if she's a lurky damaged PickMe, then the post-party age-gap-couple ritual will be trash talking attendees (because when gramps is banging someone young enough to be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 01:07 PM
21

OMG, brilliant. 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 12:35 PM
1

Either way-- shriek.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 12:32 PM
2

😱🤢😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 05:22 AM
1

Charcoal is abrasive and it might sop up minor surface stains but not deep stains. The brand we use is still better than other non-toxic brands by far but not as effective as chemical brands just in terms of whitening. If the kids ever start obsessing about having perfectly paper-white teeth, there's always laser. Nah, the kids' toothpaste has no fluoride. Jury's still out on the toxicity of it. https://www.ewg.org/tapwater/contaminant.php?contamcode=1025# It's not in the water where we live and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 05:16 AM
11

A safe space for the kinds of men who take dates to Wendy's in other words. Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 11:36 AM
9

The argument is hilarious because there are many disordered men for whom the very viability of commitment with certain women (their "wife material" traits) or her relative high value and her high self esteem can trigger destructive impulses. Furthermore, a HVM doesn't troll for sex from anyone, doesn't divide women into "madonna" or "whore" categories, doesn't arrange dates only to give one "category" the shit end of the stick. That's the definition of a POS. Even if you happen to see his better…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 11:33 AM
1

What's even grosser are things like MRSA that can be set off by full waxing and are sexually transmissible according to the CDC. Full wax + "shitty" partner= the horror.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 06:49 AM
1

Well, usually one-- if not the-- perk of war is that women and girls in the invaded population will be reduced to selling themselves to survive. So basically, a war against FDS will be a war without spoils.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 03:16 AM
5

I had many dates in my single days but never actually ate one, even the ones who expected me to split the check... 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:55 AM
3

Amen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:46 AM
3

What constitutes manly behavior seems to differ from culture to culture. Apparently, the US measures manhood by the degree of accumulated filth and bacteria on men's arseholes and teeth. I had no idea my husband was gay, but apparently he is by that measure. My sons, too. They all take two showers a day, brush and floss x 2 or 3 and the bidets get traffic. The size of your water bill and needing a bigger water heater: the ultimate gaydar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:43 AM
13

I thought taking a shower before hand was normalized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 02:21 AM
11

Doesn't compute. How do these women not puke?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 02:17 AM
32

Olafactory assault isn't a crime but it feels like one. I can understand the difficulty of bathing for the homeless but remember traders smelling like sour milk, expensive bad cologne, dry cleaning, eggs benedict and greed. Maybe that was the odor of their karma and doesn't wash off? Maybe all the college coke dulled their sense of smell? Mysteries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 03:32 PM
56

You're on the front lines of the funk! You should get combat pay!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 02:35 PM
26

I don't understand how people have sex wihout bidets unless it's a quicky after showering. But if people are into elaborate sessions and someone has to take a bathroom run (advisable for women especially to avoid uti), do they take showers all over again??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 02:27 PM
43

After living in South America a third of their lives, my teen sons and daughter think it's uncivilized not to have one. It seems the quarantine toilet paper shortage sparked more interest in bidets in the US but maybe not enough to overcome the cowboy aversion. Bathrooms aren't typically designed to fit them but there are sink top versions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 02:23 PM
7

Cali White Activated Charcoal & Organic Coconut Oil toothpaste. ✌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 02:13 PM
42

Interesting about men policing each other's hygiene. Sounds about right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 02:10 PM
49

We're further south. 😁 I haven't been to Peru but multiple showers and repeat tooth brushing sounds like the continental norm. It has to be more than just frequent showering and dental care though. Our kids' tutor bikes a half hour every day in lockdown to get here but he's still fresh as morning dew. I suspect that people tend to have healthier gut flora.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 02:09 PM
60

We have this brilliant dentist with a thick NY accent who, in her forties, married this very suave British investment type. They just redesigned an entire brownstone and travel the world together. Your "class" is your brains, your passion, your bravery, the way you carry yourself and your humanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 07:37 AM
38

I'm a coffee fanatic, even wear mocha perfume. If you drink coffee black, a swig of selzer will wash it away. The real problem is milk in coffee or, God forbid, sugar. While milk neutralizes tannins in coffee and tea and prevents staining, the natural sugar in milk messes up oral flora, can rot teeth and cause bad breath. If you can't get used to coconut milk powder in coffee, at least opt for heavy cream (not half and half) which also has 0 carbs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 07:04 AM
13

Some natural toothpaste brands clean but don't whiten. My kids are allergic to a lot of chemical ingredients in commercial products so it took a while to find a natural brand that whitened too (charcoal based). But I doubt toothpaste allergies are the cause of so many men's stained teeth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:43 AM
336

First thing I noticed when we started spending half the year in a capital city in a South American country was how no one stank, not even on a packed subway on a sweltering day. Not even the street guys stink. At first I thought I was losing my sense of smell, but nope. Everyone's scrubbed. Every bathroom has a bidet. I'm originally from NYC where the funk in any crowded place could knock you to your knees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:33 AM
25

Going NC with toxic people is great for the complexion. 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 08:43 PM
55

Omg, I heard something I can't unhear about that. PickMe neighbor decided to try a poly club and met an old guy twice her age. She said she spent 70% of the time on top. Even with Viagra he'd lose his erection if she wasn't performative and (lol) "Cirque de Soleil" enough. It was apparently too tiring for her because of her thyroid and weight issues. She speaks a language I'm trying to master so I used to invite her up for tea. But I admit I was a bit relieved when she moved. I'm somewhat sympat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 08:40 PM
4

This sounds exactly like what happened where I worked several years ago. Except, in that case, the "older guy" that dumped the ingenue was married with kids so I didn't try to advise because, despite her innocent-seeming "ingenue" behavior, I figured she was a pretty dark personality herself. I'd had a previous experience that made me wary. Sure enough, when the board president's adult daughter tried to make a project of rescuing this ingenue, the ingenue viciously turned on the rescuer out of t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 06:28 PM
5

This kind of COINTELPROP/AGITPROP happened in South America to undermine the massive shock and awe feminist marches against femicide and rape a few years ago. Men's movement trolls would scrawl "K.ill your father, your brother and your sons" along with symbols from various feminist groups on walls in major cities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 06:02 PM
11

Paul Thomas Anderson's film Magnolia really predicted the trend, yikes. https://youtu.be/bbanWHx5AFQ
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 05:54 PM
122

No woman on earth can completely avoid stress. Models are often the most dumped on and preyed on group. But FDS defense strategies, social support, an organic diet and nontoxic cosmetics can compensate for a lot of bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 05:49 PM
164

Here's a "wall" for those who believe in walls: the cut-off age to enlist as a US Marine or Navy Seal is 28. Though this applies to both genders, only 8% or 9% of Marines and Seals are female, so it's pretty much the official measure of manhood in terms of cultural expectations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 05:44 PM
1

🥂🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 05:32 PM
1

Thanks for the CosDNA resource. I love these databases and use them for literally everything. There's one for prescription drugs called RxRisk created by rebel pharmaceuticologists and industry whistleblowers. The Environmental Working Group has a great, very detailed section on sunscreen effectiveness and toxicity of ingredients that's frequently updated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 05:31 PM
7

Agree completely. And if one or more children develop chronic illnes (as so many do in the polluted shitstorm we're all swimming in 8n industrialized societies), the burden falls even more on moms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 06:36 AM
24

I think the more realistic concern is that they'll treat the next one even worse. Ab.users only escalate in theur ab.use. I think it's common following a messy breakup of a relationship where the ab.user knows they exposed their callous monster face for the ab.user to go into a manic display of "twu wuv" performance art with the next unfortunate target. When that mask slips again it will fall with a crash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 05:57 AM
7

This has been happening to dv survivors for ages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 05:47 AM
1

Sharing my brain bleach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 02:48 PM
31

If they go on testosterone supplements, their balls shrink. My doctor told me this. She was trying not to crack up. She gestured demurely how they can get so tiny they retract. I didn't ask her if the skin shrinks too but I imagine (brain bleach, please) not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 06:41 AM
90

And men talk about "the wall." Probably because they're running smack into walls in terms of the official measure of manhood. The cut-off age to enlist as a US Marine or Navy Seal is 28.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 01:55 AM
2

"They’re exposing you to endless potential STIs and men who cheat often have little regard for who they cheat with." As.sault with a side of terr.orist threat. 🥺 it's dv.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 01:37 AM
2

Wow, vital hybrids rule! I'll bet you look like sisters. Such a bad badass and the most loyal friend. She was always a top student, didnt smoke, didn't drink, ran 4k every day. By age 17, she was touring professionally as a guitarist with a pretty famous alt punk band. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 01:32 AM
12

On a nature theme, Wild Berries by Yevgeni Yevtushenko is one of my favorites. Not spicy exactly but with some wisdom about love vs. exploitation and a strong anti-scrote undercurrent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 06:50 AM
40

My best friend in high school dealt with this a lot. Flaming red hair, freckles and little elfin face from her Swedish mom, ambiguous last name from her Jewish dad. Racists would actually try to confide in her, thinking she had to be a WASP. She could have tried to "pass" because her family wasn't religious but she always took a stand. I love rugged individualists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 06:38 AM
28

It's a myth that ab.used women necessarily have "low self esteem." Statistically, the majority had higher than average pre-ab.use self esteem. But self esteem won't stop your bones from breaking, make you an equal physical match with someone 60 LBs heavier, prevent bystanders from believing an ab.user's lies in ways that could cost you your job, important relationships or custody of your children. As a former dv survivors advocate, I found a lot of victims had low esteem for the ab.user-- as in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 03:14 AM
86

True. You walk into the office wild haired or soaking wet and say "It's windy outside" or "It's raining buckets," not "I got blown" or "I got rained."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:56 AM
3

Only proxy cheaters, other cheaters and lousy CSAT therapists whose incomes depend on coddling sex ab.users invest in the "dead bedroom" excuse for cheating. It might even occasionally be true by the time the cheater is blame-reversing and triangulating to an audience against the victim. But no cheater is ever honest about the circumstances that may have led to it, such as their own systematic ab.use of the victim or, say, that she's recovering from childbirth, etc. Triangulators never lead with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 10:02 PM
1

Along the same lines, there's my fave tact of responding cheerfully as if to entirely different texts. Example: Troll: "You're such a twat you'll die alone and unloved and they'll find your corpse half eaten by cats" You: "Just a sec, on bike using text-to-speech. My phone is glitchy." Me: "Yes, would love to but can we drive up this time? The helipad messes up my hair lol." Troll: "Crazy bitch, what tf are you on about?" You: "I really don't mind. It's a beautiful route." Troll: "The FUCK?" You…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 08:21 PM
4

The privatization scheme to hijack public resources and services (public water, schools, mail service, prisons, even Child Protective Services, foster care and hospice care, etc.) and let private corporations turn them into profit mills goes like this: Defund, defame and privatize. The deadly Flint, Michigan water fiasco is a perfect example. First politicians taking unlimited campaign donations (thanks to Citizens United SC ruling) from corporations seeking to control and profit from publicly o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 03:10 AM
7

I know a few ride or die disability dads too but only one who does all the heavy lifting. Two others I knew who did the main caretaking died suddenly and relatively young. But caretakers are otherwise always moms. The moms are dropping like flies too. Disability can strike any family and doesn't only select heroic ones. One of the most common ab.uses is drugging the shit out of kids, though the pressure to do so also comes from authorities. Statistically, the disabled are most at risk in schools…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 03:39 PM
6

Thanks. This is complicated. I'd need to get into some old files and dig up citations and start searching out other relevant material. I'm afraid it's pretty new territory to look for relationships between the epidemic of porn compulsion, sexual aggression, mental illness and toxic environment, so any attempt to form arguments or a perspective would have to be solidly backed up. I'm not a scientist but consult with them and mine quotes for reports. I frankly don't know of anyone working on somet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 09:20 AM
13

Porn is the apocalypse. It doesn't help anything, but it can't explain why one First Nations tribe sandwiched between a Dupont plant and tar sands operations that was studied in Canada hadn't had a live born male child in over five years. https://www.jstor.org/stable/24889683
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:32 AM
17

Maybe men act like entitled snowflakes because they sense how fragile they really are. Of course the problem is that they blame women for it instead of deregulation policies imposed by the powers that be (i.e., mostly men). Since you're seeing the disaster unfolding in your practice, I probably don't have to argue why environmental health is a feminist issue. Most of the parents coming in with those sick kids are moms, right? Because when disability strikes, dads often disappear. Not always but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:11 AM
7

I'm always happy to cut into chemical industry profits. 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 05:38 AM
53

My son recovered from environmental injuries (municipal pesticide spraying, neighbor power sanding lead house paint) and we've adopted a control-what-you-can lifestyle. It looks hard and complicated at first but eventually the investment pays for itself and becomes second nature. --Keep up with reports from the Environmental Working Group. They test everything from drugs to toys to dishware to sunscreen. --Store in glass and stainless steel. Ditch all plastic storage, sippy cups and sports bottl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 09:34 PM
83

Not to make poor-sad-sausage excuses for LV male behavior, but from working for an environmental health publication (Erin Brockovich-type stuff) for 10+ years, I suspect that men born after 1980 in industialized countries are often chemical mutants. --The fact that young men in industrialized countries have, on average, half the sperm counts and more mutant, less motile sperm compared to their fathers can't be explained away by the increase in porn use-- except to the extent that porn zombies ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 07:52 PM
45

So they're saying women harbor enough magical Voodoo mind power to turn perfectly good, moral, upstanding men into rapey beasts? Then bow down before us mere mortals, or we shall smite you with falling trees, space junk and sink holes. Then we'll clean out your crypto wallets with telepathy. FEAR US.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 04:48 AM
2

In my experience, maintaining the perfect stubble starts getting too precious and studied to be a green flag unless the guy's an actor or model grooming for a job. In which case there is still the dreaded poo factor. 😱https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/poo-beard-faecal-bacteria-how-14959212
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 04:38 AM
38

Then they get fired and sued for harassment, their kids don't speak to them, and they die with only their feces infested beards to keep them company in a geriatric facility. The End. Someone else probably said it but men with strong jaws look lousy in beards-- adds uneeded volume and creates this weird jut-jaw, triangle-head effect. If you need a beard to be good looking, you're not good looking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 04:58 PM
6

He's pushy, love bombs past her resistance, quickly charms the crap out of people so he becomes everyone's favorite guy and she's surrounded by his fans (making him harder to escape when the time comes). Pfeiffer's Frankie character is a formerly bat.tered woman, so statistically she has a 50% chance of being battered again. In rl, this is largely because normal "nice guys" would say stupid victim-blamey shit to her, paving the way for the Johnnys who know just what to say and what it's like to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 02:03 PM
4

Absolutely. Frozen Jack Nicholson-sicle, please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 01:31 PM
11

I fantasize that I'm Shelly Duval in the "Here's Johnny" scene. The sound of splintering wood and ghoulish grunts are my love language. Not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 07:28 AM
18

Just rewatched the old film Frankie and Johnny with Michelle Pfeiffer. It struck me again how "Johnny's" romantic approach is classic bat.terer. I was a dv survivors advocate and have also had near misses with "suitors" who later ended up on the six o'clock news. Yikes. The Johnny character reeks of ab.user, right down to his "rescuer/ally" pose, but is propped up as the good-guy-diamond-in-the-rough. From when I worked in a media related job, I have a story about working with some protegé and "…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 07:19 AM
1

And no one talked about how scary or viol.ent his father was? Typical. Those who internalize viol.ent male role models will forever after protect and keep the secrets of the vio.lent male role models. It's a clinical thing. A study of domestic bat.terers in prison settings found that convicted wife ab.users/mur.derers would frequently "disremember" or lie about ab.use committed by their fathers, even after their fathers died. The captor bonding with their dads went beyond the grave. It's much ea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 02:43 AM
4

As a former dv survivors advocate, I've noticed that when MIL treats you like a rival, sonny will eventually treat you like his mom-- as in dressing him up for his secret dates with other women, unknowingly paying for his affairs out of your joint assets, cleaning up after his mantrums, etc. Usually it boils down to serious dad issues going back generations where husbands are traditionally raging, dangerous, cheating babies so their wives emotionally depend on sons as proxy mates. This may exten…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 12:26 PM
14

Is it time to go back to old timey courtship-- dating several at once, sleeping with none of them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 06:07 AM
2

Captioned with, "Hey there, mister, where's your wife?" https://images.app.goo.gl/9Xvaw4hWqCUkdXny7
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 01:59 AM
1

In Demonic Males: Apes and the Origins of Human Viol.ence, primatologist Richard Wrangham writes about PickMe chimps in the wild as a parallel to explain cool girl behavior-- why women who rise to some degree of power within patriarchal structures often manically serve the status quo and do little to nothing for other women (Margaret Thatcher, etc.). Chimps periodically go on lethal raids against neighboring chimp troop to abduct fertile females and kill off as many of the opposing males-- inclu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:58 AM
16

Wouldn't it be great if that woman and her stroller baby were avenging demons who always show up suddenly when a married old perv is about to slime on a single younger woman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:31 AM
34

A former friend tried out the rich older guy thing. I was already having reservations about the friendship when she lured me to a party populated by old bald guys with ponytails and Bentleys. Then literally the last time I saw her she was curled up on the floor sobbing over one of these old ghouls. She started out thinking she had the upper hand. At 27, she was worried about the so-called "wall" so he gushed about her youth and beauty. Rather than process and exorcise her own internalized misogy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 05:29 AM
3

Lol-- read the Chump Lady blog's archived posts on Savage. Hilarious. Cuts right through the double talk. https://www.chumplady.com/category/dan-savage/ Someone sent me the link when I first scratched my head over the popularity of this guy among libfems. As a lifelong lefty, nothing bugs me more than media sources that grub progressive credence out of one side of their mouths and give "blowjobs to the patriachy" with the other. It's like how whole countries hate traitors even more than enemy co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 07:11 PM
2

So much for "the wall," right? 🤣People of the various virgin outbacks or rural tundras of the world would have childten until they couldn't anymore. That's how landed and farm families of yore would get 7, 10, 12, 20 kids. I'm sure a lot of women from the old cultures wished there actually was a "wall." My 90LB, 4'10" great grandmother had 7 with my 6'5" great grandfather. Ouch. But apparently she ran the roost. She couldn't stand my mother's PickMe American mother who talked in a fake baby voic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:47 PM
6

Most ugly, smelly, poorly groomed men feel entitled to date surgically altered Candace Swanepoels. Tell your family that down deep you yearn for ugly, dumb and smelly and so, alas, you are settling for the only kinds of men who won't expect you to wear four inch heels and bustiers, bleach everything and perform painful porn gymnastics: men with normal self esteem and without personality disorders. They just typically tend to be better looking and better educated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 07:54 AM
10

In parts of my grandfather's culture, it's considered really bad juju to ask someone's age. It's like you're measuring someone for a coffin. To tell brings bad fortune/To ask is far worse/ Burn sugar at midnight/ To banish the curse The "old country" reportedly had a lot of strapping centenarians who weren't really sure of their ages. I suppose it must have happened a few times that someone asked the age of some ancient person or other and they died the next day, so lore was born and it became b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 07:38 AM
5

Infantilizing is an ironic word for a groomer to use against those warning against groomers. Ask any young woman who got colonized by an old goat what the old goat encouraged and rewarded (camped up porn baby behavior, dependence, sucking up/flattery) or discouraged and punished (independent thought, strong opinions, growth, etc.).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 06:52 AM
28

Dan Savage, Dan Savage, coiner of "monogamish," saving humanity from the shackles of monogamy by providing handy rationales for cheaters near and far. It's just like Savage to create guidelines for every other form of sexploitation and to compare human beings to campsites. The oldster douche can take.a dump on you... as long as he buries it! He can spread trash on you... as long as it's compostable! No orange peels! He can drive tent stakes into you...as long as he fills in the holes so the next…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 06:30 AM
25

I don't suppose the regular middle management old douches would welcome the news that the old celebs really don't have their pick of the 20-something ranks either and have to settle for slightly scuffed?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 03:58 AM
6

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 03:45 AM
2

Beyonce's speaking voice is absolutely ideal and perfect. Melodious, natural, expressive, resonant, full. That's why both her speaking and singing voices will still sound exactly the same at age 92. One veteran Broadway singer/coach explained why white women in the US, especially middle class, tend to have weaker, thinner voices than WOC or non-WASPs. It's not so much any genetic, structural difference. It's because of the cultural speaking norms for women in the white, Christian middle class: u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 10:41 PM
3

Well, he's white and middle class, for one, or he'd know WOC and most working class women always had to work. He's talking about a tiny blip in history when a lower middle class white family could maybe buy a home and eat on one salary, only due to the struggles of the definably socialist labor movement which was all quickly overturned. I think we should skip explaining the back history when responding to these guys and and just enthusiastically support their Marxist leanings since the social or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 10:13 PM
1

Sure thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 09:57 PM
13

Why, as a lefty, I really hate pseudo progressive news sources like the LA Times. It's the same reason entire countries hate traitors more even than enemy combatants. The "teeny weenie" emoji was a reaction to rabid anti-feminism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 09:03 PM
38

It's a tough job but someone's got to do it. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 05:01 AM
15

These guys are talking about a radical "Y'all Qaeda" or LDS cult format for female comportment, not salt of the earth traditional. They're not even talking about traditional Puritans because Puritan men were expected to be entirely submissive as well. Read Susan Faludi's The Terror Dream for a fascinating description of how early settlers went from consciously passive and forebearing to geno.cidal cowboys in a few generations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 05:40 PM
26

Old Hollywood performers were so well trained in voice, dance, etc., that they tended to avoid misusung their instruments-- why Tony Bennett could still sing as an old geezer. Old school blondes like Judy Holiday and Marilyn might do their infantile clown schtick on screen but again, apparently knew better than to maintain the act in real life. When women habitually speak in that voice past puberty, it's an actual disorder known as puberphonia, sometimes reportedly caused by lesions but mostly b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 04:48 PM
61

Try to imagine a Thunderdome match between your church-going traditional great grandmas who had 7 to 11 children and these RP fools. I don't know about anyone else but my great grannies would be the last standing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:32 PM
9

Good thing apparently. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jul/23/why-sex-is-better-in-a-long-term-relationship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:02 PM
15

Wow. 😱 Very close call and quick thinking!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 08:17 AM
115

The late Juilliard stage voice teacher and author Kristen Linklater's biggest gripe was men who over-masculinize and women who over-feminize or sexy-baby their speaking voices. The practice apparently calcifies vocal folds permanently. People who do this sound like croaking toads or hissing lizards by 60. Even Marilyn Monroe knew enough to drop the breathy, lispy baby voice offscreen. She'd go in and out of it a bit in publicity interviews, but candid moments show her natural resonant voice. htt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 07:57 AM
38

Married guys know married sex hits the stratosphere around the 15 year mark (so sayeth the research). This may be why, when some decide to fuck around, they often heavily dangle the possibility of commitment over the infidelity buddy. She'll think she's renting to own and the sex will be better. Even if less than 3% of those contracts are ever actually fulfilled, maximum value is extracted and the cow gets milked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 06:59 AM
9

Kale has more calcium than dairy but eat it along side or with something fermented to reduce potential oxalate buildup in the kidneys (true for spinach, too). We lab tested six top natural brands of calcium after two of our kids tested borderline high in lead and their toddler multi (and my prenatal)turned out to have unacceptable levels. Here's the really scary part: our organic boutique supps were as high in metals as cheap drugstore pharma brands. The irony of lead in calcium is that calcium …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 05:39 AM
24

Welcome to mass media. Tons of capitulating men with breasts. I think that has to be in your resume before you can even get your first b girl interview at a production office.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:04 PM
12

I was curious and tried to research the issue. Divorce was technically possible in that era in Germany but was viewed very harshly by society and was restricted by the courts. If one party objected to divorce, you'd have to file on the grounds of serious "hardship"-- like someone injecting drugs in front of children or making death threats. Infidelity and spawning illegitimate kids outside marriage are viewed as "non-hardships," equivalent to sloppy housekeeping. Sort of obvious that men authore…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 10:58 PM
11

The old age-gapper in recovery theme gave me a flashback. Years ago, I ran into a guy in LA whom I'd met in NY through friends. He asked me out. I was 18 and assumed he was about 24- 25, which was still a stretch. I agreed to the date mostly because I didn't know that many people in LA. During dinner, I noticed a few little things like a stray gray chest hair or two and the skin over his temples and the bridge of his nose seemed slightly thin. Also he had this "furtive" vibe, like he was waiting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 04:28 PM
75

She "wisely forgave her husband..." = she pried control of assets and holdings out of his irresponsible, cheating, embezzling manbaby control and kept him on as a species of pet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:12 PM
4

I'm on the cusp of gen X and millennial so it's taken awhile to adjust to how normalized sex work has become in libfem circles, so much so that women might talk about their participation quite frankly in risky settings, even academic or work setting. But I never get used to it. Over ten years ago, overhearing a childless 26 year old at a work-related event talk about her "arrangement" with a married 50 yo dad who originally worked above her, I went all anthropologist and started asking pretty br…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 06:12 PM
8

Not really. Murdoch-controlled news sources like Vice typically hypocritically point to how retrograde and abu.sive "dark little countries" to the east are and how ungroovy their religious practices are, particularly if those countries happen to have oil, gas or minerals. It doesn't matter if the west engages in the same retrograde abu.ses or that Murdoch is invested in porn. It's about the only time you'll see Murdoch media bark up the feminism tree. My guess is that the oil companies and their…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 02:21 PM
3

If Justin Beiber expressed anxiety (he wouldn't, but if he did), the pix would get spread more. I conclude that any innocent woman is treated like a guy who peed in a maid's bucket, barfed on stage and spit at fans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:37 PM
18

At least he's realistic about sugaring finances. A quarter for attention. Do the math on what girls commonly earn in "gifts" per month, divide it by expected sex acts, and it often works out to be San Antonio street hooker rates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 08:32 AM
12

FMG by any other name...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:53 PM
29

Her behavior was right out of the hero handbook. Harrowing story but beautiful ending. Blessings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:41 AM
21

The impulse I always had when seeing a young thing with an old coot was to zip her up in hazmat gear, find her a therapist and give her a rabies shot. Is that the new meaning of "bitter"? Can't keep up with the scrote lexicon. We need a translator app for Scrotarian.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:38 AM
14

Wow. Blessings. You realize how particularly well equipped you're going to be to save young women from that life before they even reach that fork in the road.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:15 AM
3

I think I saw blinding, otherworldly light the first time I read Flitcraft's research. Too bad we're not taught some of these things in 7th grade, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:00 AM
2

😱😨😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:43 PM
3

If you think about it, there's a pall of mu.rder hovering around the act of exposing an unconsenting partner to sometimes life-shortening diseases. Profiteering pop-psych cheater-apologists (who seem to breed like cockroaches) always act like vio.lence, coercive control and terror tactics are rare in cheating circumstances. But when victims finally break out and start really processing, it seems more the rule than the exception.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:10 PM
2

Certainly. ✌ This was required reading for the radfem advocacy org I worked with and also favorites in the copy/pdf library we kept for dv survivors. The Ba.tterer by Canadian criminologist Donald Dutton (and all of his other works). Dutton spent decades studying domestic ab.users and wife-ki.llers in prison systems. He includes some cases of sub-vio.lent emotional ab.use to show how ab.use cycles, MO and effects are similar to vio.lent ab.use. Despite the fact that Dutton doesn't dwell much on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 09:47 PM
3

Well, two of the celebscrotes I heard terrible stories about from reliable first-hand witnesses were about one beloved funnyman and a multiple Oscar winner-- both mob connected. Consequently, they never get bad press for this stuff. If you're not already famous yourself, and even if you are, "telling" on any ra.pist/harasser in any industry any number of years later can get you blacklisted from an unrelated industry. The backlash is also interpersonal. An alarmingly large percentage of ostensibl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 06:03 PM
5

I'm talking about 20-23 years ago. For little catalogue shoots using non-supermodels,, some big agencies charged around $1200- $1800 an hour. Obscure, garden variety fashion models made more than most surgeons. Since then things have radically changed. The industry has learned it was a big mistake to create supermodels who commanded massive rates, and then would use their fame platforms to make uppity political and health/ environmental commentaries or would get powerful enough to report on the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 04:18 PM
3

Smoking doesn't cause cancer...because Keith Richards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 03:50 PM
28

Thanks for responding. For some reason reddit won't let me post, only comment, and if I don't disguise all the key words related to dv, my comments are immediately removed. It's not mods doing it but reddit following a troll incident. As soon as it gets sorted, I'll try to post.✌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 04:26 AM
15

Thank you. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 02:10 AM
21

I don't have much to tell other than lame attempts because I was so cagey about fame and power. Word of mouth is powerful. Unfortunately, I lowered my guard for more obscure douches though. At least I put two in jail for workplace stalking and kicked another six feet across the floor with the one self defense move I knew. Word to the wise-- learn self defense! I wish the girl who was raped by the action hero went public. She was suicidal after that, gained 40 LBs and disappeared. But women did c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 02:08 AM
9

I didn't enjoy my youth that much because of old scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 01:57 AM
23

Most models aren't public figures, just do work-a-day ugly catalogue stuff lol. Very blue collar but with FU money. I found a lot more radfem models than you'd expect because of that FU money-- probably why the powers that be don't want to close the gender pay gap, equalize employment and leadership, or make college free. Where would all the old, gross men find their sugar babies and desperate, underpaid interns if all women had FU money?!!🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 01:55 AM
16

I hate it when known and notorious abu.sers are cast as heroes or cuddly, misunderstood but just slightly edgy guys. It trains the public and especially women that that "vibe" the actor emits-- the "perp vibe"-- is really a "good-guy vibe." So I'm all for cancel culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 01:48 AM
167

I agree with others that it's time to be defensive. The book Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life by Tracy Schorn, aka Chump Lady (there's a blog), is supposed to be a primo resource for practical stategy. Personally, I think sex addiction is bs and dangerous to victims. I started hearing the theories when I was an advocate for dv survivors because virtually all bat.terers cheat. In fact, I believe that cheating is just a less athletic form of bat.tering. Bat.terers tend to operate on a "beat by need" b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:49 PM
103

I modeled in NY to pay for school when major modeling agencies would actually send the big roster of models on request to celebrities or the super rich. You'd get a note from your booker that such-and-such famous perv had called and wanted to meet. These are household names, major stars, Oscar-winners. You could never accuse the agency of pimping and expect to keep working, but that's exactly what it was. In return, I assume the agencies could catch glow from celebs, get more bookings for girls …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:28 PM
36

The borderline personality credo: The truth is not the truth, what you can get others to believe is the truth is the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:24 PM
2

I don't remember who wrote about appeasing ab.user-ghosts. Some dv researcher or other specializing in dissecting bat.terers, like criminologist Donald Dutton or Dr. Richard Gelles. It's spooky but makes sense. Apparently many vi.olent perps don't admit their own past victimization, either because they dissociatively blot it out or are straight up lying to protect their own ab.users. This selective amnesia extends to committing ab.use as adults. Bat.terers are notoriously fuzzy on details of the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 10:18 PM
1

Tragically, that's kind of the way it goes. Every woman I know who did the N-LOG Pickme mating dance or got angry at me for my supposedly "man-hating" brand of feminism--as if they feared men might punish them by association if they didn't vigorously condemn my radicalism-- ended up badly used. The outcomes are usually too sad to take a smug "Told ya so/showed ya" attitude towards them. I wouldn't wish it on a dog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:17 PM
3

"Something else these people don't realize is that you can totally delude & deceive yourself to go along with something and trick yourself into thinking that this is just the way you are or whatever. " There's a study that found correlations between "infidelity tolerance" and "ra.pe myth acceptance." From personal experience, I've found victim-blamer and rape-myth-accept-ers (encountered tons of them while working in advocacy) tend to have come from horrifying backgrounds and to have internalize…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 07:46 PM
2

What counts as limited? Edit: I finally read through your whole comment. I find that people who get personal in their arguments usually do so because they took something personally. Nothing I wrote initially was intended to question your experience on generational differences where you live and work. I did a year of college in Wisconsin, have cousins there and my mother was involved in an FBI investigation of violent white supremacy groups for several years. I found the state to be sort of a cru…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 01:13 PM
2

Lol, I don't know if I'm just out of the loop or the book is such a loser that I never heard of it. Reminds me of that Belgian TED Talk shill Esther Perel who spins evolutionary rationalizations for the grooviness of adultery. Hey, nothing is more empowering than having your newborn separated from you in the neonatal ward and having a giant red "Contagion" sign stuck on the baby's bassinet because your mate rawdogged a Craigslist hooker while you were pregnant and gave you HPV! And nothing bring…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 07:03 AM
6

Thanks. I'm a bit mystified why some people get term-censored but not others-- like an auto filter that gets aimed selectively? Frankly, I'd be proud to get up reddit's craw with my anti-scrotist content, but maybe it has to do with that fake "self harm risk" report some troll made against me to reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 06:34 AM
2

It depends. The worst libfem Pickmes I've dealt with have sometimes been xennial or millennial or X'er lawyers, jounalists, media directors and high end design pros, etc.-- ambitious women in grossly male dominated fields who've internalized the male model of competence and scrotey views on "the wall" and "femina.zis." If you, say, brought up anything brushing on vio.lence against women, they'd look over their shoulders to make sure your man-hating sacrilege wasn't overheard. And if you went and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 05:54 AM
7

I've seen many people use certain words without issue but if I use the same words without disguising them, the comment is immediately removed. I've had dozens taken down so far, though never once have I had friction with moderators over what I write. In fact I've had positive interactions. If it's happening to others, I have to assume some of us are being singled out by reddit without the knowledge or consent of mods. I write a lot about dv because I used to work in that arena. It's pretty hard …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 05:26 AM
3

Hedges is interesting. His icon is political analyst and historian Noam Chomsky, who also despises porn. https://youtu.be/1Fu7gDyooHw https://youtu.be/SNlRoaFTHuE You said something about a book on sex mentioning bonobos but I couldn't make out the title. A lot of people crassly use the bonobo model to justify kink and defend cheating. But 1) according to plain old carbon dating, we descended from a common ancestor with the regular rapey, infanticidal, cannibalistic chimp, not the peacenik femin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 03:57 AM
29

Hope she gets picked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 01:15 AM
81

At 17 I was stalked for 15 blocks and nearly assaulted in the burbs while visiting relatives. Guess what's not so special about the burbs? No one comes out of their houses when you scream (except my nerdy math geek friend who had no idea it was me). Definitely carry all that gear and, furthermore, scream "fire," not "help." Better to risk jail for a false fire alert than be raped and murdered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 01:13 AM
9

Brilliant. I never thought of it this way but yes, I've experienced this from other women I worked with or even in my extended family. And I can chalk several social explosions up to my "failure" to make the right noises in return. Stupid, straightforward me didn't realize I was being tested and didn't predict the retaliatory rage of people who pretend their cages are palaces towards those who like to rattle those cages. One note I want to add is a point I've made before in FDS about terminology…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:03 AM
24

I dealt with trolls for another cause (environmental health, Erin Brockovich-type stuff) for more than ten years, but the trolls were rarely as vio.lent and creepy as the trolls seen here. I saw a lot of activists get stress related illnesses over the years, largely due to flak. But I'll bet living by FDS principles can reduce at least one major source of sickening stress for women advocates-- shitty, draining, ab.usive intimate relationships. Cheers to your enduring health, mods.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:37 PM
3

Hah, I'm the queen of rambly.😁 I shall now demonstrate... On the issue of how to deal with negative bystanders--tough one. I'm 41 and have been a card carrying feminist/civil rights fanatic since age ten when I was interviewed on the news for the NOW org about how there should be a woman president in the US. I was so utopian and optimistic as a litle kid. Now I'm a flaming cynic, but at least a constructive one. I've learned most bystanders are cowards and as easily swayed by PR and fear tactics…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 09:22 PM
8

Hoping their wives recoup embezzled marital assets spent on rando-fucking in their divorce settlements-- including Tinder subscription fees-- and report the full value of his sidepiece wining and dining as undeclared "gifts" to the IRS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:03 AM
3

The dude he pretended to be in the beginning lies with the ghosts of Elvis and Jimmy Hoffa in the sunken hull of the lost fleet of the Spanish Armada.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:57 AM
1

😮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:54 AM
35

Nothing says "I'm sorry, sis" like divorcing the creep who humiliated and ab.used her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:53 AM
2

I was just watching LOTR again and thinking the same thing (Liv Tyler is even 20 years younger than Viggo). Oh, and it occurred to me that streaming porn is basically the Eye of Sauron turning elves into Orcs and humans into Ringwraiths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:20 AM
3

I typically gag at FX monsters too but appreciate the accuracy and expressiveness of the monsters in LotR, and the backstory resonates-- once normal beings are bent and warped into biddable shitheads. I don't buy theories purporting the genetic cause of criminality other than the fact that testosterone can slightly predispose. Otherwise, crime gene theories have fascist origins and junk science foundations (read Dr. Peter Breggin's The War Against Children of Color-- shocking). That just leaves …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:10 AM
2

Just watching Lord of the Rings again (recent renewed lockdowns-- bored) and kept thinking of porn zombies and their apologists as Ringwraiths and Orcs. All true volition gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:16 AM
3

I would recommend going on the Environmental Working Group website and reading the scientific reviews of various sunscreen brands. https://www.ewg.org/sunscreen/ Some brands are so toxic they can wreck your skin and some don't actually work to block damaging rays, but there are good recommendations on the site. Other tips: do get some sun at high noon when beneficial rays are highest and damaging rays are lowest in order to boost immunity and fight depression. A few minute w/o sunscteen on arms,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:03 PM
5

Damn, it's "Aunt Lydia" from Handmaid's Tale. https://youtu.be/eDM2nbSVdSU
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 05:56 PM
8

It always reminds me of the Frank TJ Mackey character from Paul Thomas Anderson's Magnolia. https://youtu.be/8I8_fxj5ZTA I wouldn't have been able to foresee in 1999 how this shit would spread.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 05:49 PM
62

Son of Sam.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 05:42 PM
12

Why the new parenting apps to minimize contact after separation with a creep and then going full-on NC the second the youngest child is adult are good survival strategies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 05:36 PM
2

"I sometimes wonder if women behave that way so that men won't hurt or attack them somehow." I definitely think it starts that way. The following is just my experience. Every woman I know who chronically speaks in a baby voice, including a brilliant, funny, very self-aware fellow advocate for dv survivors, was a survivor of childhood sexual ab.use. The fellow advocate had done every kind of therapy to change it, but her vocal folds had calcified and she said the "age" of her voice (about 4 or 5,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:32 PM
3

I worked with three women in New England who were all with men exactly seven years younger. The couples joked that they'd done the math and figured they'd all die on the same day as their partners. As it happened, we were working for a piece of shit who was married to a woman about 27 years younger. He croaked and she faces a very long widowhood, but I'm not sure she'll mind. Before he died, he was all over the headlines after being credibly accused of r.ape and harassment by a dozen or so women…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 04:58 AM
5

The Pickme's I've known are all proxy abusers and even proxy sexual abusers, at least to the extent their attacks against other women are almost invarariably sexualized, involving commentary on sexual traits of the target
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:33 AM
6

Pretty women need to know they're pretty, otherwise how are they to interpret all the mayhem and hostility in their wakes? Assume it's God's punishment for wickedness? Fuck that. Paraphrasing an ancient Scandinavian rhyme that was in the introduction to Susan Brownmiller's book on rape: The fjord has no bottom The river has no end The mountain has no summit A pretty girl has no kinsmen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:29 AM
80

"They just wanna get comfortable with their oppression." Is that why many of the genuinely, scarily beautiful women I've known tend to be radfem? I think there's really no way to reason with being repeatedly followed onto elevators, physically yanked into doorways on the street and repeatedly criminally stalked so that it gets "more comfortable," right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:19 AM
30

Good idea. Women live 7 years longer than men on average, so a woman age gapping down by 7 years makes sense but not up. Imagining she marries for love, why would she want to spend decades as a widow?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:08 AM
75

With free college and equal employment and pay, I suspect most teens/20-somethings wouldn't barf in the direction of 40+ coots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:24 AM
6

Gross. That beard won't protect him from MRSA-- a big risk of waxing/shaving anywhere near the rectum, even at home. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19931620/bikini-waxing-dangers/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:19 AM
4

Other "gesture warfare" tactics that I've gently ponted out to (mockingly flung at) men: --"Distractomatic": Any attempt to redirect attention away from VERY IMPORTANT CONVERSATION, like a sudden obsession with swatting imaginary mosquitoes, prolonged and focused scratching of scalp, sudden rapt interest in the cat, sudden need to do chores, etc. --"Victim/martyr posing" to induce unconsciously anxious, pleaser-y scurrying in females and a sense of indebtedness, plus bonus non-verbal messaging t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:41 PM
57

As my cheerfully badass friend would say, blood may be thicker than water but so is used motor oil. Edit--sp
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:11 AM
12

WOW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:09 AM
9

I got $277,000 USD if you include "medical researcher." I do a ton of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 06:59 AM
28

"Stonewalling" and "shark eyes"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 06:54 AM
21

"Micro-shrugs" or "thumb-shrugs" (or any mobile body part). Because-- shrug-- what you-- shrug-- think or feel-- shrug-- doesn't rate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 06:52 AM
1

Abused cats can go nuts. Good vetting tip: check him for claw marks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 05:18 AM
4

If they're on porn sites, they're collecting malware that specifically targets cryto investors. So many a perv may wake one day to find their crypto wallets and not-actually-insured-as-securely-as-they-believe accounts cleaned out. The wailing will be audible from space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 05:11 AM
8

🤫🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:55 AM
5

Deliberately go to outdoor children's events-- without children, mind you-- and with their toddler-face-height hunting dogs off the leash, just to make parents cringe so they can bellow, "Leashes aren't required here!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 09:23 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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