| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 47 | The idea of dating again disgusts me… 2 yrs post/divorce | EmotionSix | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/24 02:05 PM | |
| 17 | Post-parenting-time Depression | EmotionSix | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/22 11:57 PM | |
| 10 | 2 years in litigation | EmotionSix | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/24 03:04 AM | |
| 9 | “A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied,” said Larry David. Is this how your settlement (or trial) played out? | EmotionSix | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 02:31 AM | |
| 6 | How do you control your anger? | EmotionSix | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/22 10:40 PM | |
| 5 | “We are doomed” | EmotionSix | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/24 01:51 PM | |
| 4 | Today, I overheard my kid asking Alexa, “Why do families live apart?” | EmotionSix | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/23 12:16 AM | |
| 4 | We are hugging a lot in advance of divorce and it feels so strange— | EmotionSix | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/22 02:41 PM | |
| 1 | Has anyone’s ‘bad conduct’ during a divorce resulted in having to pay opposing attorney fees? | EmotionSix | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/22 12:50 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | How long did your divorce take?This! So much this. Get to trial asap or the attys will only see us as a blank check. In fact they know EXACTLY how much $ they can make off us because they see our bank statements and house appraisal. Push for trial now and stop the bleeding. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 08:21 PM |
| 1 | Can’t stop the tearsThat’s great to hear. 5mg of Lexapro worked great for me. It was a really low dose but I’m pretty sensitive to medications | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/26 03:42 PM |
| 5 | Can’t stop the tearsI took a low dose of Lexapro to stop the daily crying. I’m glad it worked. I took it for a few months and then stopped (under the care of my doctor.) don’t be afraid to get help | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/26 01:14 PM |
| 3 | What are positive aspects of being divorced?Independence | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/26 11:30 PM |
| 9 | How to you get over her?This worked for me: I decided to hate her. This canceled out the leftover love I had for her. I know that doesn’t sound healthy, but it’s just what worked for me because I was love sick after she left. I needed that feeling to end. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 12:51 PM |
| 2 | Phony new Girlfriend?This is so true | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/26 01:20 PM |
| 1 | How do you cope with ruining your marriageYou do it for your kid. They need a good dad | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 05:31 PM |
| 3 | 20 Years, 5 Kids, Jewish Orthodox . At What Point Is Divorce Actually the Right Call?Do you know any religious mentors like a rabbi who offer marriage/couples counseling? | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 01:54 PM |
| 2 | Don't know how to word thisBetrayal | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/04/26 12:29 PM |
| 12 | Question for men who are divorced, Why are hookups so common instead of having another relationship?Sex good. Marriage bad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 12:30 PM |
| 10 | Ex wants to introduce bf to kidsOur agreement says we have a 6 month waiting period to meet new boyfriends. Once the relationship is considered serious, then the clock can start ticking on 6 months. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/26 12:06 PM |
| 5 | One thing divorce taught me about being a fatherYou nailed this. Consistency is one thing kids need most. Sometimes this comes at a cost to the parent but it’s the sacrifice we like to make for them | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/26 12:42 PM |
| 1 | Should I get a divorceStop wasting your life and do it. Sounds like you have little to lose. You will be sad about it at first, so I suggest some counseling for a few sessions to handle the grief and loss. After that, you’ll be a free bird | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/26 08:39 PM |
| 1 | Push to move through process quickly.In my county, an attempt at mediation was required before litigation in court. Of course it ended up being a waste of time because it was too early in the process and discovery wasn’t even done yet. So my advice is to do mediation after discovery. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/26 05:30 PM |
| 1 | Going to file soon and have lots of questions...Also what is the child’s age and are they enrolled in a local school? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 12:39 PM |
| 0 | Going to file soon and have lots of questions...You only need to prove that she was abusing the kids or not. No other distinction will matter in a custody battle. It’s not as complex as you think it is. It’s black and white. There is no gray area. You’re not getting full custody. Turn your attention and energy toward what kind of weekly schedule you want with the kids. In my experience, the schedule becomes a heated topic. Week on/week off? 2-2-3 or some other weekly pattern? Start researching that now and dump the app. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 12:37 PM |
| 4 | Going to file soon and have lots of questions...You’re wasting your time. Parents have equal rights to 50/50 custody. The glorified babysitter argument will never fly. Im glad you asked about it here so you don’t embarrass yourself in a more formal legal setting. Is 200+ miles out of state? She cannot live out of state and expect custody. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 12:31 PM |
| 3 | Going to file soon and have lots of questions...The only things that matter now are 1) if someone abused someone or the kids, 2) money/property, 3) custody. Anything else on your app is meaningless and useless. Don’t even waste your time talking to your lawyer about past fights you had with the wife. It won’t matter at all in court. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 12:26 PM |
| 1 | I have a questionFirst of all, why does it matter that it’s your anniversary? Anyway, offer to give him something in return for doing that. What’s worth to you? A gift card? | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/03/26 10:02 PM |
| 1 | What credit card(s) did you get post divorce?My ex was trying to get me to pay their legal fees. I didn’t have any debt so I created some using credit cards. In the end, we settled out of court so it didn’t matter. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 06:55 PM |
| 2 | What credit card(s) did you get post divorce?During divorce I opened a bunch of new credit cards with 0% interest to rack up debt. It was a strategy my lawyer suggested. Now post divorce, I kept my Chase Freedom because it has a points system and every month I can get an Amazon gift card to spend based on my points. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 04:01 PM |
| 1 | Seeking Advice: Best way to ask for an extra night with the kids?Offer to trade a day in the future. Be specific about which day, and be open to a negotiation | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 01:09 PM |
| 6 | Need help to stop this urge to find women for sex.Being naked with another adult is, I believe, a basic human need. It’s our nature. Plus it feels good in more ways than one. So go get some and set boundaries for yourself so it doesn’t turn into addictive or self-destructive behavior. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 03:26 AM |
| 5 | Need help to stop this urge to find women for sex.Agree! Sex is more satisfying when there’s a connection (romantic or emotional). | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 03:24 AM |
| 2 | Soon-to-be-ex car repossessed:What is your reason for not consulting an attorney? | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 06:47 PM |
| 2 | Any head drugs you got prescribed to help?Lexapro helped me stop crying uncontrollably everyday. I took it for a couple years and then stopped and now I’m fine, yay. The other thing that helped me was having sex with hot people. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/26 11:46 AM |
| 3 | Joy of a divorced manThank you for writing this | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 04:39 AM |
| 1 | To divorce or notHmm maybe a better search term is “parenting coach” | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/01/25 10:11 PM |
| 3 | To divorce or notSounds like different parenting styles. Are you open to seeing a parenting coordinator instead of a therapist? | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/01/25 08:10 PM |
| 7 | Seriously thinking about leaving--need to read success stories.Sounds like you both need a parenting coach not divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/24 01:17 PM |
| 2 | gym alternativeGroup fitness classes like yoga or crossfit | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/24 09:27 PM |
| -2 | Leaving my pregnant wifeHe made the choice to impregnate her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/24 01:55 PM |
| 1 | Leaving my pregnant wifeDoesn’t change the fact there is a baby who needs it parents. If you’re a parent you’ll understand. If you don’t get it, you’re probably a teenager. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/24 01:36 PM |
| 1 | Leaving my pregnant wifeHe put his penis inside her and made the baby. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/24 01:01 PM |
| 1 | Leaving my pregnant wifePay for her to get a good lawyer, the child deserves it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/24 12:55 PM |
| 0 | DivorceGreedy. Just leave and move on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/24 11:21 AM |
| 1 | In the divorce processFailure is the first step to learning. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/11/24 05:51 PM |
| 1 | In the divorce processFirst thing is to get yourself into therapy twice a week if possible to deal with how you perceive yourself and how your own childhood experience is coloring the present moment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/11/24 04:41 PM |
| -1 | Did parenting differences lead to divorce for you?Quite a dated view you have on family structure that will certainly lead to divorce. Try getting on the floor with your kid and playing with them. Be loud together. Are you open to reading some parenting books? | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/24 12:40 AM |
| 4 | Been 2 years….Yes. Join us at r/SingleAndHappy | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/24 10:48 PM |
| 7 | Does anyone get divorced because of the little things?Marriage counseling first. Give her a chance to hear your complaints with the therapist as mediator. Also most attorney consults are free and they can explain the financial scenario quickly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/24 01:35 PM |
| 5 | No More Mr. Nice GuyThank you. So many self-help books to read, I’ll add this one to my list! | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 01:25 PM |
| 7 | No More Mr. Nice GuyWhy? What did you learn? | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 01:10 PM |
| 5 | Ex crashing birthday partiesYou write, “I told her not to show up.” My advice is do not talk to her or communicate your plans at all, even if to say something you think is essential like “do not come.” Just pretend she does not exist, so you cannot text her. That’s all I got to offer. Sorry you’re going thru that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 07:08 PM |
| 2 | Ex crashing birthday partiesHow recent is your separation? In my experience, the crazy stuff chills out after awhile. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 06:36 PM |
| 5 | Dealing with novel length messages“Thanks for letting me know.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 10:07 AM |
| 3 | Anniversary acknowledgement?Fffffffffffffffuck no! | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 02:16 PM |
| 7 | SuicidalDon’t let her win. She wants you dead. Don’t give her the satisfaction! | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/09/24 07:22 PM |
| 4 | Alchoholic WifeAl-anon. Have you tried it? A popular support group for family of alcoholics. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/09/24 10:28 AM |
| 0 | Post separation solo vacation recommendationsQuebec City | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 10:03 PM |
| 4 | My advice to those starting down this path...Well my ex did it and now they’re fucked! Ha | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/24 07:26 PM |
| -1 | My advice to those starting down this path...No. Do not record anyone and do not empty your bank accounts or retirement. This is kind of illegal advice. Ask a lawyer before you do any of that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/24 07:20 PM |
| 6 | Letting goSome say the grief hits like death. I believe that is true. Daily I mourn the loss of my family and the future we believed in. Daily I am grateful for the love I share with my daughter even if I don’t see her that day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 01:02 PM |
| 2 | Gay Dad DivorceI’m gay, my ex is a man, we’re in the middle of divorce, with a child and property. So far, I have found the judge to be fair in his rulings. I have a hearing coming up next month so we’ll see how it shakes out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/24 03:52 PM |
| 3 | STBXW expects me to happy and act like divorce is nothing?Yes! Don’t tell her where you’re going when you go out. It kills them. Ha! | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/24 05:06 PM |
| 7 | STBXW expects me to happy and act like divorce is nothing?She already feels the high of freedom that divorce can bring. I think the term for this is “pink cloud.” Take yourself out for a movie, a long walk, go sit at a coffee shop, anything to get out of her way. Sorry you’re dealing with this psycho. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/24 04:56 PM |
| 9 | The idea of dating again disgusts me… 2 yrs post/divorceThanks. It makes me a little sad my kid will not be able to observe what a healthy adult relationship looks like. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/24 03:52 PM |
| 1 | 65 and seriously contemplating divorce, looking for men similar in age doing the sameYou have adult children but don’t assume a divorce won’t be hard on them. Split holidays, emotional trauma, etc. just bc they’re not children doesn’t mean they can handle it easily, so just a word to still treat them like kids in this situation. Maybe browse a subreddit on adult children of divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/24 07:38 PM |
| 5 | Sleeping at nightAmbien or Ativan. Get them from a doctor. CBD gummies if available in your state. The store can advise on best quality for sleep. Don’t drink alcohol. It disrupts sleep. Vigorous exercise for 1 hour. Will make you exhausted. Take naps during the day if you’re not sleeping well at night. 30 minutes maximum for a nap. Jerking off before bed or at night will make you sleepy again. A doctor even once told me this! | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/24 02:32 PM |
| 6 | Male sex toysI also find that getting a full body massage satisfies my need for physical touch. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/05/24 01:55 PM |
| 3 | When do you actually let go?Methods I use: pretend she is dead; feel sorry for her sad new life; read about forgiveness; write her a nasty letter but never send it; be patient. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/24 11:03 AM |
| 2 | What is "normal" amount of time dads have their kidsThe sacrifices we make. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/24 03:41 PM |
| 2 | Did anyone see any warning signs from in-laws that were ignored?I guess you described like everybody in the world. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/01/24 03:08 PM |
| 3 | Hard day brothers...Strangely, it does get better. It never seemed like it would. I was so sad and depressed. Two years later, and I’m in a better place. The time passes. It’s hard to imagine but it really does get better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/23 04:47 AM |
| 2 | The world is so big now.Freedom! Happy for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/23 07:51 AM |
| 2 | How did you all cope with the beginning of a divorceLexapro | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/23 12:55 AM |
| 10 | How did you manage your relationship with kids post divorce.?By getting it legally mandated. Get a lawyer yesterday. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/12/23 08:21 PM |
| 2 | Should I wear a "Lock Her Up" shirt to my ex's DUI hearingSome courts have a dress code and shirts with messages may not be allowed. Maybe call and ask in advance. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/23 08:50 PM |
| 1 | Name one of the best things that has come from your divorce.My ex smelled bad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/23 03:53 AM |
| 3 | Does anyone miss being loved?This is why I get regular massages and have a dog. I do not miss waking up next to someone who never loved me and their stinky morning breath. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/23 01:21 PM |
| 2 | Inheritance used as down payment on the house. Can I get it back?California may allow this actually. Especially if there is a strong paper trail. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/23 02:41 PM |
| 2 | “A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied,” said Larry David. Is this how your settlement (or trial) played out?I’m finding this to be true. So sad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 07:06 PM |
| 2 | ED since divorceDoctors should give dosages not Redditors. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/10/23 11:21 AM |
| 19 | Tell me the good things about getting divorcedHaving so much more sex now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/23 03:20 PM |
| 2 | Time away from kidI make sure to have a FaceTime call with my kid almost daily just for 5 minutes to say hi and tell a joke together. another idea is to do something for the kiddo on days they are not around. Can be as simple as doing their laundry, tidying up the toys, plan your next outing, or even making some mail for them to receive at the coparents home. Sometimes I just lay down, close my eyes, and think about a really fun day we had together. I might hug a pillow and get emotional but honestly it’s better … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/09/23 12:14 PM |
| 3 | Gentlemen! How is Your Freedom After Divorce?I get my dick sucked regularly now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/23 12:52 AM |
| 1 | FWB questionsDid you watch that movie about Candy Montgomery called Love & Death? She creates a whole list of rules like this. Don’t be like her. Seriously, don’t. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/23 10:53 AM |
| 2 | Wife says she wants nothing.Get it in writing | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/23 11:23 AM |
| 2 | Trying to take kids awayThat’s the strategy I’m taking now. Hoping it works. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/23 10:27 AM |
| 3 | How long did you marriage last and how long did it take to heal completely?Married/together 17 years. Divorced 1.5 years. Not even dating gorgeous sexy people has made me want to commit again. It’s like a death. There was no way to prepare for these feelings. I’m in a gloomy state. Lexapro has been a real help getting over the hump. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/23 01:31 PM |
| 3 | 42 about to file, having 2nd thoughts.Fear of the unknown… it’s human nature to stay in a shitty situation because we can adapt to it. Humans don’t like change because familiarity is comfortable. Change is scary. But if you want change, you have to step out if your comfort zone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/23 12:33 PM |
| 3 | Possible divorce comingJust get a lawyer now, and stop talking to her about anything except the kids. Uncontested divorces are impossible with a child, sorry. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/23 12:56 PM |
| -23 | Well, it finally happened, r/Divorce banI’m a single father, and I think your comment is trash. You enjoy exaggeration, fear-baiting, and misogyny. Nobody wants to read that kind of negativity, especially since it’s not grounded in any truth. Just curious, what are the titles of these books you mention? | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/23 11:48 AM |
| 0 | Need help with partner DMsTry therapy first. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/23 11:32 AM |
| 2 | Post-divorce trip ideas.Santa Barbara and nearby central coast attractions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/23 11:14 AM |
| 1 | Date or notDate. It feels so fucking good. The first few may suck or not result in a second date, but it’s all about re-learning how to have an intimate relationship. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/23 11:42 PM |
| 6 | In Bondage Until I am 71? Help, Advice, Sympathy?Many lawyers offer a free consultation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/23 11:47 AM |
| 3 | Wife harassment threatsIf you feel you may actually be an emotionally abusive person to her, consider reading this book available free as a PDF: Why Does He Do That? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men. Take responsibility for your actions and emotions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/23 10:11 AM |
| 7 | equity settlementCommingled, definitely. Also, make use of mediation to discuss things you agree on. The mediator will table disagreed topics for the lawyers. Don’t get hot headed in mediation. Most guys can’t follow this advice. Once again, mediation is all about how to agree on things. Hopefully you came up with a list of wants. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/23 02:29 AM |
| 1 | Judgement coming todayWhat was the judge’s reason for this? | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/23 10:27 PM |
| 5 | It’s basically OverWhich judge? | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/23 10:25 PM |
| 15 | I’m depressed over my wife. I ruined our marriage but I miss her so much. I’m the bad husband and this sucksThe past is not a life sentence. Onward. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/23 05:20 PM |
| 1 | Home sale/equity buyoutMediation is all about areas you can agree on things with each other. So if the mediator senses there is a huge disagreement they will move you into breakout rooms with your attorneys. A successful mediation results in compromises. (Get everything in writing!) If there is no agreement on a topic, the mediator will likely let a judge decide that part. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/23 10:59 PM |
| 1 | Chance of marriage ending in divorce 50/50. With odds like these why play the game?It's a long-standing, depressing myth that 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. At that point, why even try, right? Wrong. In fact, the divorce rate in the United States is going down. It hit a peak of about 41% for people who married 35 years ago and it's been falling ever since. source | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/23 03:35 AM |
| 5 | Cooking for 1Anything that fits onto a tortilla is a wrap. Leftovers are great for this. Sprinkle hot sauce or ranch dressing to make it palatable. Sometimes I just eat like 6 different green veggies for dinner. Yeah it’s a lot of chopping but everything can be steamed or baked at once. I’ve been doing this for a few weeks and it feels incredibly healthy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/23 02:51 AM |
| 1 | Just want to get laid...Not sure. I’m gay so I use Grindr. It’s very effective. What app do horny women use? | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/23 01:07 PM |
| 1 | Just want to get laid...Use a hook-up app. It’s easy to get laid every weekend if you want. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/23 10:52 AM |
| 2 | SeperationGet every agreement in writing. No spoken agreements anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/23 02:08 PM |
| 6 | Book recommendationYeah this is some “alpha” male bullshit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/23 02:19 PM |
| 1 | Hiding BitcoinAssets is different than income. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/23 03:20 PM |
| 1 | What are the RED FLAGS in dating a divorced man?Emotional abuse red flags are very well explained in the book “Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” by Lundy Bancroft. You can find a free pdf online pretty easily. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/23 01:02 PM |
| 3 | I'm looking at required mediation in the next month, any advice?Be friendly to the mediator and they will eventually side with you. Mediator is your friend. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/23 11:05 PM |
| 1 | Any positive stories here?8 months separated/in process of mediation and divorce. We did no-contact for the first 6 months, and more recently we have been doing family dinners together with our kid. It’s been difficult emotionally but the dinners have been positive especially for the kid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/23 12:20 PM |
| -3 | Driving stonedKids don’t need to be shown that a mother smokes pot. Sounds like you are coming from a place of hurt, which is normal for divorce and this sub. The kids should be protected from this nonsense. Adults can process it, kids really can’t. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/22 03:13 AM |
| -5 | Driving stonedPlease consider what your children will witness: their mother getting handcuffed and taken away. It’s pretty traumatic for them. I’m not saying she shouldn’t be stopped, but the kids are always collateral damage in these things. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/22 02:08 AM |
| 6 | Ex wife calls kids everydayBe busy with the kids. Too busy to pick up the phone. (But actually busy, not hiding.) Maybe every other night at most. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/22 07:18 PM |
| 11 | Found condoms when getting my stuff.And a professional massage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/22 05:23 PM |
| 3 | Struggles with getting in the moment and getting a boner with a new women?It really does make you feel like you have a new superhero dick! | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/22 12:46 AM |
| 3 | Struggles with getting in the moment and getting a boner with a new women?Viagra is a gift. It’s very inexpensive and works wonders. No shame in taking it. Many people do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/22 10:23 PM |
| 7 | My ex would say things like “the way you’re talking to me is very Alpha male and coming across negative” when does doing things for my son become negative?Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Get the book or find his lectures on YouTube and you will become a pro at learning to speak so others listen without negativity. It’s magic. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/22 04:25 PM |
| 8 | Today my wife finally admitted that she doesn’t want to work on the relationship anymore. Started planning a divorce. I’m heartbroken.It sounds like she has made up her mind and there is no rationalizing her back into the marriage. She sounds like a nut so you are going to have to take the high road. That means no rage, no threats, no playing in to her games because the lawyers will use all that to blame you. We use the term “gray rock” for reacting to women like this. You now have the reactive expressions of a rock that is gray. Nothing can phase you. Ultimately, think about the divorce through the eyes if your children. It w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/22 12:07 PM |
| 1 | Covering basesCredit card debts? Retirement savings? | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/11/22 12:57 PM |
| 2 | Post-parenting-time DepressionThe missing limb analogy is right. It’s a small death each week. I’m a man who was married to a man so I thank you for your perspective :) | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/22 12:57 PM |
| 3 | MediationGet a lawyer and a mediator. It’s worth it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/22 03:01 PM |
| 2 | Better man coaching/learningWeekly therapy | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/22 02:35 PM |
| 4 | In for a fight, does it sound like I have a chance?Going to trial is a good threat, it gets things done, but no one really wants their divorce to get that far and have their fates decided by a judge. In divorce, we negotiate. It’s one giant negotiation that results in an Agreement. Negotiate so you control the compromises, sacrifices, and settlement. Get a mediator even though it’s expensive it can keep the negotiation more civil (and efficient). Lawyers like to argue and push buttons because it raises their billable hours. Just keep pushing tha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/22 12:27 AM |
| 5 | I’m (33M) an scared to actually fill out the papers, and my wife (33F) and I have been separated for going on 6 months…I hear you on that last sentence. Brutal. I tend to be that pessimistic too. Now, 4 months after moving out, I’m starting to realize I am coming out of this a new person. It’s a hard fucking lesson but I’m a new man and maybe this was all meant to happen so I can be the person I am today, a little bruised but also wiser and more clear about my future relationship choices. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/22 04:14 AM |
| 3 | how did you go about finding an attorney to work with?I googled divorce attorney and she was the first one to come up. I did a free consult on the phone and she has 25 years experience and was able to answer my questions so I hired her. I figure if I don’t like her I can fire her and find another. So far it’s working out. Probably not the best method but I’m so lazy and depressed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/22 11:34 AM |
| 3 | Advice on how to be ok with the lonely quiet times?That’s considered a loss. The death of your planned future, or how you thought it would turn out. There are some good books out there to help move you through grief stages. I’m reading the Grief Recovery Handbook which my doctor actually gave to me! | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/22 03:17 AM |
| 3 | Advice on how to be ok with the lonely quiet times?It sounds like you are holding some grief jnside. Grief can lead us to find comfort in isolation, which isn’t always healthy. Consider talking to a therapist or friend. Just a different perspective on it, not sure if it applies to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/22 12:44 AM |
| 3 | greive. take the time to greiveSomeone gave me The Grief Recovery Handbook. Im reading it now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/22 12:03 PM |
| 2 | I hate the feeling of having an enemy living in my house with meWhen I was in this situation I got myself a therapist to help me deal with my emotions. Since you won’t be able to change your wife, you can only change how you react and how she makes you feel. Try to see the therapist once a week. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/22 12:16 PM |
| 7 | Emotional peaks and valleysI’m a gay man and have been dating men for months since my divorce. Let me tell you, they are all just as mentally fucked up as the women I read about in this sub. They are good for casual sex, but I never want to be intimate with another person’s neurosis ever again, male or female. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/22 12:06 PM |
| 6 | In need of adviceHow do you expect therapy to work if you’re not being honest with her? You’re wasting time or delaying the inevitable. I know it’s painful to confront these feelings. I was in a similar position as you. You will feel real freedom when you leave her and the dust settles a bit. I’d suggest 50/50 custody of your child because being a dad is awesome. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/22 11:55 AM |
| 12 | Fixing your marriage, what did you try to do?Resentment is a relationship killer. Can both of you move forward without feeling contempt for past wrongs? Do you both want to repair your relationship? Counseling works only if everybody is willing to make changes. A method I liked was Terry Real’s “Fierce Intimacy.” It’s only available as an audiobook but it’s free for first-time users of Audible. I really, truly love this counselor’s approach to healing a marriage, but it only works if everyone is committed to change. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/22 10:52 AM |
| 2 | How do you deal with the loneliness??And a horse | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/22 08:54 PM |
| 2 | How do you deal with the loneliness??Get a dog | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/22 02:57 PM |
| 6 | I just didn’t think it would happen to meIt’s surreal and sad. Nobody went into marriage thinking it would end this way. The goal is acceptance, but it can be a winding path. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/22 02:23 AM |
| 1 | does it ever get better?This happened to me also. I started seeing a therapist to deal with my feelings about it. I also started taking Lexapro because I would break down crying all the time. It’s really helped so far get my life back on track and not be such a wreck. Good luck man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/22 09:39 AM |
| 7 | We are hugging a lot in advance of divorce and it feels so strange—You are some kind of guru. Thank you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/22 02:57 PM |
| 0 | I’m (29M) considering divorcing my wife (28F) due to her failure to contribute anything to our marriage financially. Yes, I can support her and I make a pretty good living. My problem is that I should not need to support her at the level that I am, due to the context of our marriage currently.Get therapy for yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/22 01:07 PM |
| 27 | So I’m probably screwedA judge would not look kindly on someone who threatens to kidnap. It only hurts her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/22 02:58 PM |
| 1 | She made no senseDid you take care of her needs? Did you help her feel wanted and loved? | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/21 01:51 AM |
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