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EmpressOfDankness Archive

View 1 posts and 74 comments by EmpressOfDankness on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1315

FDS MEMESEmpressOfDankness/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 02:31 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

I went from dumping a deadbeat LVM boyfriend to building a rotation of several wealthy, generous men with HV traits. I narrowed it down to one man that treats me like an absolute queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 07:43 AM
3

Love you, mods ❤️ You ladies are amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 11:51 PM
14

The utter degeneracy. This is revolting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 08:17 PM
121

And a McChicken sandwich 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:28 PM
4

This is such a lovely analogy, thanks for posting! I'm a very visual person and this was a great way to visualize the concept of leveling up. Saved!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 07:32 PM
1

Hey I'm childfree too, sis. Makes dating even more challenging!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:27 AM
3

Omg I am SO glad to see someone share my view on things like this!! It's an unpopular and even callous opinion to some for sure, but if that had been me, I would have aborted immediately. I'm neither going to choose to doom both my and my child's life to a NVM's bullshit forever, nor give him the satisfaction of "spreading his seed" with surely no parental duties or financial compensation on his part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 06:41 AM
14

I have no empathy or sympathy for men (and women tbh) like this that blame their present actions on their past. We didn't all have fantastic childhoods, in fact, I'd wager more people than not actually have experienced some type of trauma that damaged them early on. But what you DON'T get to do is use that as a get-out-of-jail-free card for the rest of your life. Go to therapy, get on meds, join support groups... Hell, buy workbooks, print free therapy worksheets or watch online psychology video…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 06:39 PM
2

I'm not the OP but I wanted to thank you for your comment, it has really helped me reframe my thoughts. I'm in a similar scenario and have had a lot of mixed feelings about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 05:05 AM
80

This meme is too damn loud
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 03:05 AM
2

Truer words were never spoken. Absolutely repulsive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:55 AM
11

Omg 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 11:34 PM
14

It's beautiful! Wear it in good health, and I hope you are reminded of your strength and worth when you look at it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:48 AM
17

Heads up ladies, the B&BW semiannual sale is going on right now! I know because I went yesterday and stocked up on candles, and proceeded to do exactly as this meme said 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 02:54 AM
16

Preach, sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 07:49 PM
81

Oooof too true! I feel so bad about the women that carry and birth a man's children yet aren't good enough to be a wife in his eyes. I watched a tik tok the other day of a woman in this circumstance who begin counting her "days not engaged" on a bulletin board, updating it daily. Her boyfriend saw it every day but still did nothing about it. It was so sad. NEVER have a man's children without a ring!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:39 PM
16

This will probably get downvoted, but IMO there is nothing wrong with what you're expecting. FDS preaches financial independence so that you don't become dependent on a man, which is very important. That being said, there is certainly nothing wrong with desiring a financially generous man that enhances your life. It seems that you and your current boyfriend have a mismatch in values, as you prefer a more luxurious lifestyle while he doesn't. I would consider whether this is a dealbreaker for you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 10:57 PM
21

Reminds me of that saying: Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it. NEVER lower yourself to their level. If you're still getting baited and triggered into responding to abusive DMs or comments, it's a sign you need to level up mentally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 07:56 PM
2

Love isn't the only factor that is necessary for a relationship to prosper and survive long term, though. I've had several past relationships where there was certainly no lack of love from my partner, but I wasn't happy and I felt like it sounds like you do now. From my perspective, and it seems from all others commenting here as well, your doubts and your reasons for them are valid. I'm curious, are you in therapy for your C-PTSD? That could very well be playing a part in this, especially if yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:47 PM
2

"Ugh women are such EVIL GOLD DIGGERS!!!! Thankfully hero me came along and saved my poor naive brother from that venemous she-devil, upvotes to the left pls" 👈👈👈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:34 PM
3

I read your prior post, and I know you're very concerned about this, but I want to stress that childfree, pornfree, loyal, thoughtful, feminist men DO exist outside of your boyfriend. Trust me - I am dating one! Don't feel trapped within an unfulfilling relationship just because you feel like that's impossible to find, because it's definitely not. You may have to be single for an extended period of time before you find the right man, but wouldn't it be worth it to be in a relationship without th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 09:55 PM
9

This is great advice, and something I had to do for myself not too long ago. One of my biggest pickme friends has a total NVM bf (felon, active addict, cheater, the works really) and I found myself getting bled dry trying to offer constant advice and emotional support to her. It felt like I was on-call for her. It was exhausting. In the end, she never ended up changing anything within their relationship and is still with him today. People will make their own choices, but I had to choose to dista…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 09:30 PM
11

Omg sis I am hollering 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 09:17 PM
12

"Too little too late"... Queen mentality 👑 Go enjoy yourself ma'am!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 03:24 AM
1

Well done and good riddance!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 03:16 AM
11

Sis, trust me when I say I also used to spend a lot of time overthinking questions like this lol. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but at this point, you shouldn't be looking for what will hurt him most, but rather what will protect you the best: blocking him. He sounds toxic. Blocking him kills two birds with one stone: it essentially leaves him on read (as you wanted), but most importantly it doesn't give him the opportunity to mess with your feelings anymore. Because as long as he isn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 03:11 AM
38

Actually me lmao. Women with a spine are 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 05:25 PM
11

Echoing what everyone else said, definitely drop this dude. He's not putting in enough effort and he's breadcrumbing you with attention. And wow, randomly getting on COD while you were still there? How fucking rude! But for future men, I would encourage you to view that level of poor communication as a dealbreaker. He never texted first? That's unacceptable IMO. The man should be the one pursuing the woman, not the other way around, especially in the early stages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 05:50 AM
12

If I've read this correctly, this man: Abandoned you when you reached out for comfort while you were in distress Prioritized a woman he barely knows over you, his girlfriend Silenced you when you attempted to express rightful hurt over this Emotionally abused you by namecalling This is beyond a lack of respect. This is a lack of empathy overall, and just plain cruelty. You deserve better sis. I would absolutely end a relationship over this. You are not overreacting in the slightest. I have been …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 05:15 AM
8

Perfectly said. As the saying goes, we teach people how to treat us. So don't get caught up in the scarcity mindset and end up letting a HVM get too comfortable and start slacking, or even worse, let a LVM pretender slip through the cracks and get the best of you. Always expect to be treated like a queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 07:44 AM
21

Oh, for sure. Or him playing HIS video games for hours on end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 07:28 AM
3

Once again, men giving their unsolicited opinions on a woman's attractiveness 🙄 It's getting old. She looks beautiful both ways. Whatever makes her happy is all that matters, not what these irrelevant nobodies think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 02:27 AM
62

Thank you, OP. It has to be said. So many posts and comments recently clearly show the poster hasn't read the handbook (or maybe they have, but they think they're a special exception?) Either way, why are they here??? There are plenty of other dating subs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 01:20 AM
2

I know it's hard. I just want to encourage you that it's not selfish to look out for yourself. It's your life and you will always be your own best advocate in this world, and there is no shame in looking out for your best interests. Hugs ❤️ I'm rooting for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 05:57 AM
10

I am so sorry to hear that sis. My heart hurts for you because I can truly empathize; I hear so much of what I went through in what you're saying. While on one hand that's great that your partner is so willing to put in effort (my ex never even entertained going to therapy) eventually there's only so much therapy can achieve. Individual therapy would be best, as I mentioned, done while single and without the stressors of a relationship. That's where you're in the optimum space to both heal. From…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 10:35 PM
13

Personally, most of my level up was achieved through therapy as well as fervently researching attachment theory. I know the book Attached is highly recommended, but I haven't read it personally. Most of my research was done through my graduate school studies. Do you know your own attachment style yet? That's crucial, IMO. Because if you have anxious features and your partner is avoidant, you will likely continue to suffer unless you both seek therapy to work on forming healthier, more secure att…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 08:10 PM
12

Echoing everyone else, OLD is garbage. It's not a reflection of you. Ugly men will always think they have a chance with/deserve a woman way out of their league for some reason. I tried OLD briefly but dipped quickly when I realized how grossly men were misrepresenting themselves on there. Lying about their height, their age, their jobs, their marital status... I only went on two dates before I quit it altogether lol. I know it's harder but try to put yourself out there to meet men organically. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 07:04 PM
9

Omfg I'm a member of a dating group on fb (I don't participate, solely there to lurk for the cringe because these women are total pickmes) and the amount of these lame, old ass copy pasta bios or openers that they screenshot and post.. Just kill me now. Laugh reacting and saying "I'd swipe right for that!" "He's hilarious!" 🤢🤢 My God, the bar is in the earth's core at this point for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 06:43 PM
7

I could swear I saw a reddit post about a guy doing this on TwoX a couple months ago or something 🤔 And of course I think it reached r all and had thousands of upvotes from libfems being like oMg Bf gOaLs!! Does anyone else remember this too??? He probably got the idea from there. Anyway, I agree with the rest of the ladies, I think it's fake woke shit and virtue signalling, especially if he brought it up himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 06:34 PM
10

I agree as well, I would say 2 years MAX. But there need to be serious discussions being had about marriage and a timeline. If not, I'm out. No one is wasting my time again. I've been burned before by staying with an LVM for 3.5 years who kept telling me he would propose but then when I finally put my foot down and was like WTF is the holdup he said "he didn't believe in marriage" but didn't tell me because he knew I'd leave him. I packed my shit and moved out within the week. Never. Again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 04:54 PM
6

Ahh what a nice compliment ❤️ Thanks sis :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 03:32 PM
39

I'm not against self deprecating jokes, hell I make them often, but this hit a different sort of way. Pocket pussy??? Girl... Men already degrade us in so many ways, sexually especially. Don't willfully degrade yourself like this too. C'mon. This isn't funny or sexy or edgy. It's just sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 05:34 AM
15

I agree. For me it would be more accurate if it said "Love yourself as much as you used to love toxic men with good dick." Because I'm a reformed libfem pickmeisha and DAMN have I change dramatically since getting therapy, leaving my toxic ex and finding this community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 05:26 AM
51

Yes girl!! What a catch! I got me a handyman too. He knows carpentry, electrical, plumbing.. Unfortunately none of that talent went into cooking 😂 So we normally go out to eat. But he told me his goal is to make me a fully homecooked dinner from scratch one day. I think that is just precious. He's been looking up recipes and trying :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 05:15 AM
191

What was missing? Short answer: my lack of self worth and being ignorant to my dysfunctional relationship patterns. I had no ability to self soothe, and I sought validation externally. What I really needed was time for deep self reflection to realize my anxious attachment style and thus why I sought out avoidant men that only affirmed and amplified my anxious fears. Now that I know myself better, I can self validate and seek out more securely attached men and not repeat the same destructive cycl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 05:01 AM
41

Lmao his poor fee fees 😂 Reading this gave me a good laugh. What level of mental gymnastics was this man doing to convince himself that you were a gold digger??? HE was probably the one trying to be a damn gold digger smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 08:50 PM
169

I prefer HV blue collar men for this exact reason. The ones I have found were humble, hardworking, respectful, generous, and had good values.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 07:42 PM
26

Same. I would go as far as to say that excessive social media use is a dealbreaker for me at this point. To me it signals a level of self absorption and desire for external validation that is worrisome. (I don't use much SM either so I hold myself to this same standard) In my experience, men with limited social media tend to be more humble, honorable, and better partners in general. YMMV of course ladies, but it seems that a lot of fuckboys seem to be addicted to social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 04:29 AM
62

Control issues, negging, narcissism... Wow. What a shock that she's lost some of her "perkiness" cohabitating with him 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 04:13 AM
16

Keep your guard up with all of them. My current man seems HV, but every day I remind myself not to get too comfortable and attached. You never really know who you're with unfortunately. I've heard of men completely changing their character after marriage, becoming fathers, or major life events happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 01:07 AM
56

Yes! This, 100%! Someone posted in another comment somewhere (I can't remember who it was, please chime in if you recognize this was you sis!) about how abusers like to keep you trapped in cycles of explaining yourself over and over. You are under the illusion that they don't understand and it's your fault and things could be better if you could simply communicate better. Nah sis. These men understand us perfectly clearly. They use our empathy and willingness to give a million second chances to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 12:33 AM
2

Well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 12:25 AM
5

So true about pickme friends having a crabs in a bucket mentality. Just had to cut off two of my closest friends because they started negging me but disguising it as "jokes". They wouldn't support my level up and tried to shame me for it. People either rise up to meet you at your level or try to sabotage you. I wish I had more high value female friends but I literally only have one, the rest are hardcore libfem pickmeishas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 11:07 PM
8

Thank you :) I wasn't even looking for him, he truly came out of nowhere! I met him after starting a new job not too long after I left my horribly abusive NVM ex. I was solely dedicating myself to going to therapy/working on myself so I didn't even give him the time of day for a while lol!! But I'm so thankful I did! If you haven't found yours yet, you will, sis! Keep being your best version of yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 05:06 AM
3

I am like that too, so I imagine I would struggle in your situation as well, which is why I was curious. It could definitely be that you're killing time cause of quarantine boredom. I've seen a lot of advice on here to cease dating during the quarantine and focus on leveling up personally, which I think is a great idea. I also have to add my two cents -- my most toxic relationships were the ones where I felt the most "spark". When I met my current HVM I felt kind of lukewarm about him too. I had…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 04:40 AM
2

I would say to keep vetting him while you date other men. As someone else said, it's actually a good thing he is more into you than you're into him. That's how it should be. The man should love you more than you love him! Do you think the quarantine is the reason why you don't have romantic feelings? (i.e. are you the type of person who needs to see someone in person to develop attraction?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 02:07 AM
26

Omg if this isn't the truth. We're making them work hard for it now. Any transgression and boy bye. You would think this would turn them off but my inbox is still full of them finding other ways to reach out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 12:53 AM
213

Another man would easily just cheat on her or leave her. These are the type of men we need to be dating and marrying ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 12:37 AM
28

Your partner reminds me a lot of my boyfriend :) Two things along with what you have mentioned that I think my HVM bf and I align on are VALUES and SEX LIFE. In terms of values, we both have similar religious and political beliefs, as well as we both are anti-porn and both have very limited social media. He is kind of an "old soul", for lack of a better term, and I love that about him. As far as our sex life, because we don't watch porn, we save our sexual energy for one another exclusively. Bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 12:05 AM
2

Exactly! I wouldn't mind a man my height either if he's honest about it. Hell, I've even dated shorter in the past. But in my experience, most men aren't honest on OLD. Don't tell me you're my height, set that expectation, and then show up and I have to look down to make eye contact with you. And for the male lurkers reading this, please take note of this and be more honest if you're doing this. I know you're there, cause I've already gotten a PM from one of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 11:42 PM
121

If I've learned anything from the stories of women on r relationships, it's this: Don't date men "in the middle of getting divorced". They're not. They're cheaters that are still married and have no intention of getting divorced. Don't date men who won't tell you where they live or won't let you into their homes. Don't date men that are vastly older than you. Don't date men that are shady with their phones, ghost you for the same block of time repetitively, or just straight up disappear for days…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 11:22 PM
6

I like to reframe my past failed relationships as crucial learning experiences. Yes, they were painful. Yes, they were years of my time that could have been better spent doing other things. But the lessons learned were invaluable. I think the hardest lessons in life have to be learned personally, not by proxy. Being with an abusive man taught me how to spot abusive behaviors early. Being with an avoidant man taught me how to spot avoidant behaviors early. Being with a narcissistic man taught me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 10:57 PM
15

Men are so predictable and pathetic. I think I've had about 5 or 6 now too. It's so satisfying leaving them on read. Just remember that any attention is validation for them so keep ignoring and blocking. I'm sorry you're feeling sad about it. If it's any consolation, I wouldn't automatically jump to saying that they don't take you seriously. Men are men and they're gonna try to shoot their shot because they're lonely and horny right now. They're trying to see if you're an easy pickmeisha and you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 02:38 AM
12

Omg Timmy tellin it like it is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 02:29 AM
14

I actually made a list on my phone after my last break up because I promised myself I wasn't going to to make any compromises anymore. To me a HVM is: Responsible Providing Assertive Marriage-Minded Romantic Generous Loyal Funny Kind Thoughtful Smart Easygoing High EQ
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 11:58 PM
92

As a 5'10.5" woman, this is the bane of my existence. Luckily I met my current boyfriend at my last job, and he is truly 6'3" as he claims. Other men I've met online who were claiming to be 6 feet were really 5'9" when we met in person. Such a disappointment. I always say to take whatever height a man claims online and subtract at least two inches, and that's his true height. Why can't they just be honest?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 11:25 PM
22

Or go the r / relationships route... hAvE yOu tRiEd cOmMuNiCaTiNg WiTh HiM??? 🤡 Yeah let's give him a chance to gaslight you about it..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 08:46 PM
7

Yes, you can absolutely be a HVW with mental illness! The first step is to block your low value ex. There is nothing positive he can do for you anymore, and this will help you resist the temptation to speak to him because he will try to rope you back in. Get rid of social media if you tend to act like a pickme on there. Stop dating for a while and focus on yourself. This may be difficult if you're not used to being alone. Get into therapy, specifically DBT - the gold standard therapy for BPD - i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 07:52 PM
47

Excellent post. Stay far away from anyone that doesn't respect your sexual boundaries from the get go. Block them immediately. Don't try to bargain or give second chances. Graypists CAN and WILL gaslight you. Any attempt to have a conversation about it will lead to them minimizing the situation and making you feel as if you're overreacting. You aren't. A HVM will never make you feel coerced or unsafe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 10:32 AM
67

Sausage is abundant and of low value 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:36 AM
11

Living for this uplifting energy ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:04 AM
1

I refuse to believe that she never once questioned his behavior or found it suspicious... And repeatedly waiting out in the literal freezing cold for HOURS for a man???? I could never. Reading this was infuriating. I hope this story isn't real, but if it is, my God I hope she wisens up and gets the hell away from this lying manipulator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:55 AM
4

Preach. Being with an LVM always causes headache and heartache, having a FWB leads to messy feelings, and casual sex is never sexually fulfilling. I explored all of these in my pickmeisha days and they are all deeply unsatisfying in their own ways. Better to be single and celibate and spend time carefully vetting and finding a quality HVM than mess around with this other bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 05:24 AM
17

They sure do love passing all the emotional labor off to us, don't they? It's time to start refusing, ladies. I'm not going to be a pseudo-mother to a manchild that can't even take ten seconds to put a reminder in his phone calendar. It's not hard. They're just lazy. They count on us to pick up their slack, or be susceptible to their guilt trips if we don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 02:30 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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