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Eosei Archive

View 9 posts and 211 comments by Eosei on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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65

Yeah, play stupid games, win stupid prizes, congratulations you both won. Now all the options are kinda bad.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 05:24 AM
8

Well, if these are his values, you know also what kind of expectations he most likely has for your possible future children. Of cpurse it's possible he too will soften with age, but maybe he doesn't. He is not going to be very present as a father and he expects perfection. He'd be disappointed in them not making it to Oxford and for not being successful in continuing his path given how much he has sacrificed for them. Is this also how you see success and how you want to raise children?
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 05:37 PM
1

Hey, if putting on sexy lingerie and heels and such feels awkward to you, surely that is not the only way to be sexual. Maybe think of sensual instead. Lights low, flickering candles and massage oil and long strokes. Breathing and staying focused on sensations and not forcing anything or planning ahead. You want to be feeling like you are in your body, in your own skin, instead of putting on a character and escaping even further into your head through humour (I mean, sure, role playing works for…
/r/RedPillWives28/10/20 08:29 PM
1

Hi, thanks for commenting! How would you advice women to behave instead, in order to be more engaging? For example if you read the comment by a deleted user here, would you say her approach is engaging or not? As an educated and animated female... I struggle with this! I love lively engaged conversation, and I am a passionate and opinionated speaker. I have worked on this a lot though. I always stop and ask them questions in conversation, and allow them to dig into their points fully without cut…
/r/RedPillWives28/10/20 08:13 PM
1

I read your comments and maybe don't let him be in charge of the finances any more than he already is. But perhaps your considerably bigger income has allowed him to be so neglectful and cutting back your hours might push him to be more responsible. Is it possible for you to stop working?
/r/RedPillWives14/10/20 02:21 PM
11

I'm wondering if the way you've divided your tasks between the two of you is that efficient after all. If you get up at 3 am and are home at 11 pm you won't be doing any household tasks that day, you will be prioritizing rest to get through the next day. If you have a lot of days like these, then you can't have tasks that are time-sensitive and to be done that day, or that take big chunks of time to finish. There might be a way to divide tasks differently in a way that works with your changing s…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/20 01:12 PM
2

We actually just had a discussion about how he would feel more like he has a goal of caring for me by splitting the work if he understood my workload. Maybe the key is that I am trying not to add my stress on his shoulders and that is coming off as if I have nothing to do when I’m really studying every free second I get. ☝
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/20 12:52 PM
1

Hey I'm really happy to hear that! Make sure you read Fascinating Womanhood and/or Surrendered wife and/or Empowered Wife and you're really clear with yourself that you're in touch with and expressing your authentic truth, not a script. You may have to find ways to deal with your feelings of disappointment and resentment (such as accepting responsibility or seeing his side of things) before you can really approach him. Best of luck :)
/r/RedPillWives14/10/20 07:43 AM
3

if we ever had an argument he would say "well you don't need me anyways" That's quite tragic isn't it 😟. You also said: "And I feel he definitely looks down on me when I suggest it because we would be giving up a lot of money. I'm fine with living on less but he has said it seems like a "waste" for me to give up that income. I'm terrified of displeasing him or him thinking I am lazy or incapable." I obviously don't know if this is the case or your fears coloring your perception, but if he does l…
/r/RedPillWives12/10/20 04:16 PM
1

Hey, I know how that is, I can relate. But one thing you could do is just tell the help that certain rooms are off limits for now and close the doors.
/r/RedPillWives12/10/20 02:25 PM
2

Thanks, I didn't know it was possible to still reply to removed posts. Live and learn. Have a great day, sir!
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/20 11:51 AM
3

This might get taken down but the way to change the world is to start with yourself. Families (with or without kids) are more important than we think and women are the heart of families.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/20 08:13 AM
2

This might be a very far-ferched inkling but I sense something off behind the income issue. Could it be painful or embarrassing for him that you're managing so well that you'd be willing to let go of a chunk that is bigger or equivalent to what he brings in total? And might his avoidant, dismissive, uninterested response to you suggesting you start working part time partially be related to how he sees his own position in your relationship/family? As if instead of a romantic relationship where he…
/r/RedPillWives12/10/20 08:09 AM
1

I didn't read your post history but have you acknowledged what has happened, have you guys talked or have you shared your feelings? I see a lot of things you've mentioned are quite emotional and not in a destructive way but in a tender way. Have you shared it with him or are you trying to hide and manage? You mentioned you have poor poker face, I wouldn't think you need to hide behind a poker face if you have a way to genuinely express your feelings.
/r/RedPillWives12/10/20 07:54 AM
4

It's been two years, you've broken up twice and since the last time it's apparently been pretty down. When where the ups? It doesn't sound like this man will marry you either. You'll be almost 40 by the time he starts thinking about marriage. It's a great idea to start all over again.
/r/RedPillWives11/10/20 09:50 AM
15

So why are you together?
/r/RedPillWives11/10/20 02:45 AM
13

Haha, I like how eyebrows deserve 3% attention while hair and skin quality combined is 1% 😁.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/20 02:08 AM
1

Where I live grey has not been a trend in interior walls, but has very much been a trend in exterior walls for the past 15 or so years. I picked a light grey paint for our house too some 10 years ago, I don't know if the exact shade has some brand name, but I do still 🧡 it. Together with white trims and terracotta tiling it's the best thing about our house imo. Would 100% do again. It looks near white in bright sunshine, at other times it takes on pinkish tones, depending on the light. Our doors…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/20 02:01 AM
2

Wow. I bet not a lot of attorney-counselors (?!) ever give a "friendly-reminder-RP-style" call to the shitty spouse. That's amazing. Have you noticed a lot of similar techniques between RP and FW/Doyle? All of them have the extreme responsibility going on, STFU, own your shit. And don't get dragged into the emotional conflict when your partner is unhappy and tries to take it out on you, instead distract and diffuse with humour.
/r/RedPillWives10/10/20 05:49 PM
3

Thanks for your comment! I'm sure you'll like FW even if it is written in a slightly different tone in a different time. The aesthetics are somewhat different between Surrendered Wife and FW, I'd say. Principles are the same and both have a lot of anecdotes and inspiring success stories.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/20 09:46 AM
1

Sorry I edited the text a while after posting. I guess comparing them is necessary or else there wouldn't be a committed interactive relationship. (Did I just respond to an apples to oranges bot ? 😂)
/r/RedPillWives10/10/20 08:34 AM
1

u/BluepillProfessor What kind of work you do with women? Have you read Fascinating Womanhood? How I've understood hamstering is something like this: People have to deal with reality opposing our will, and on the other hand our own actions to an extent influencing the reality. The problem is our intrinsic, complex and often conflicting drives do not always align with the complex and often conflicting feedback we're getting from our environment. There's all kinds of emotions related to how well ou…
/r/RedPillWives10/10/20 07:58 AM
1

Yes, but there are differences too. Some of the differences have to do with terminology, which could be just that they are products of different time, but not entirely just that. RP mimicking sciences is heavy on terms and acronyms and overall conceptualization, categorization, analysis. FW draws from religion and arts. There are some key concepts and bullet points, but not nearly as rigid or totalizing of a system as RP. I think RP should strive to explain FW away and usurp the useful informati…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/20 06:12 AM
2

That's sound logic. One partner leaving the marriage is a good reason to divorce, agreed. Now put " " around the leaving the marriage, which makes it completely open for interpretation, it could be anything. If he doesn't agree with what she wants (and we know she only wants what is best for the relationship), then clearly he is not wanting what is best for the relationship and he seems to be "leaving the marriage" which means she should leave him. Why are you even in RWP?
/r/RedPillWives09/10/20 05:44 AM
3

I'll take part over the weekend, have to hurry to work now :)
/r/RedPillWives09/10/20 05:38 AM
1

It was by u/BluePillProfessor many years back, I hope he hasn't changed his views since: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3sk7y7/book_review_first_kill_all_the_marriage/
/r/RedPillWives09/10/20 05:37 AM
2

It's mostly the FW people talking to him about their views (Dixie's husband takes part too). Not the MGTOW guy so much. If you're interested in learning more about FW, then maybe listen. I posted this question to the other RPW and after that I tried some new searches into reddit. I found a MRP mod had written about Laura Doyle's books before and he had noted some of the things I had too! A lot of the thought patterns FW and Doyle show women would fall under "hamstering" in RP. It is deciding you…
/r/RedPillWives09/10/20 05:33 AM
2

In Fascinating Womanhood there's a big chunk of the book dedicated to what faults in men women try to change. I'll be posting mostly the titles here, some quotes, because now there's more of these comments about therapy. You said he doesn't believe in therapy, so even if he did need it, we don't know, it wouldn't work. You can't force him to want to seek it out, it's not your project. When we are unhappy, we tend to see him as the thing we need to fix. My life would be perfect if only he wasn't …
/r/RedPillWives09/10/20 05:23 AM
2

So far the best comparison I've found is in r/marriedredpill by u/BluePillProfessor, he's written about Laura Doyle's book four years ago. Most of his comments would fit FW as well. He found points that were the same as what they tell men in MRP, points that were the opposite of masculine advice (to bring about the polarity) and some points that we're just different. And some points that utilized RP ideas of how women work but used in favor of the relationship, not against: " She does some menta…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/20 03:43 PM
5

Oh yes you're right, it's really important to keep the bigger picture and future goals in mind.
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/20 03:32 PM
19

If the plan is that in a few years you will graduate and get a day job and he will start his own business (especially if there is plans to have kids too), this is probably good practice for that time, as it most likely won't be stress-free. You could ask him, if there's anything you could do for him. Other than that I don't know what to tell you if you are already doing all the things and he doesn't have any wishes, except maybe make a point to appreciate the money he brings in. And, perhaps sta…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/20 03:19 PM
9

Please, please, downvoters, do comment what is the matter with this thread. Why are you downvoting?
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/20 11:55 AM
2

Also, have you found FW touches upon shit tests and hamster, just using different terms, or are they oblivious to women behaving like this?
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/20 10:47 AM
3

u/anothergoodbook So what kind of advice you get specifically from RPW that you wouldn't get from a FW group?
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/20 10:44 AM
1

That's a great question! If RP perspective is just that men and women are different, then I suppose... but since FW was created some 60 years ago, how could it be a RP perspective? RP is a (post-post-)modern internet movement that puts a lot of emphasis on (speculative) evolutionary psychology and biology. FW is generations old by now, much earlier work, that stands on its own and relies on a much more spiritual understanding of the world and of human. They didn't arrive at their conclusions by …
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/20 09:55 AM
2

Thanks, I think it'd be interesting to either compare techniques, or interpret what FW is saying through the RP lens. The two systems have similarities but the fundamental worldview couldn't be more different between FW and RP. I'm asking around because I thought something like this must've been done before. We're heavily endorsing FW (and Laura Doyle's work and such), but still this isn't r/FascinatingWomanhoodWomen. Why/why not? What's the reading of FW that is in line with rule #4: Strategies…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/20 06:43 AM
1

It's an excellent introduction but it doesn't seem to get into specifically comparing FW system to RP.
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/20 06:30 AM
4

You could've read the other posts. I'm sure your experience was terrible, and good for you for moving on quickly and not sticking around, but this is a married woman whose husband hasn't always been like this. He has in fact turned like this during their marriage. A lot of people have lived with men who have been wonderful at first and then something has happened and the man wasn't so wonderful anymore and a lot of people have had kids and all that. A lot of people have also tried to get the man…
/r/RedPillWives08/10/20 05:47 AM
5

There are other comments in this thread. I haven't been around this sub for very long and I'm surprised so many so quickly jumped on the "get him and yourself in therapy" train.
/r/RedPillWives08/10/20 05:16 AM
5

Here I found a brief video on how according to the Fascinatng Womanhood stuff you can begin to inspire him https://youtu.be/nmV7623EE9E About the things that need to get done, you could just tell him when you have a problem. You don't need to intervene in his plans until there is a problem. (But you might need to go over the responsibilities, who takes care of what, if it has become unclear. Just so that you know what are his responsibilities, stay away from those.) Then tell him the problem, li…
/r/RedPillWives07/10/20 04:23 PM
7

Err... I think you guys are being totally hyperbolic. Is this r/relationship_advice? Nothing unusual seems to be going on in the OP's case. He has gotten lazy, probably lost sight of what he could be striving for in life, and she is picking up the slack. This is every relationship issue ever. "I feel like I'm his mom, like he's one more kid I have to take care of." This is typical. Her suggesting he get therapy isn't going to help.
/r/RedPillWives07/10/20 04:02 PM
3

Yes, that is definitely true. You reap what you sow, seeking to engage people in a combative way most likely leads to more division all around.
/r/RedPillWives06/10/20 06:33 PM
2

One thing that is easy to do is to not notice trajectories of people and the contexts, when we go looking for more and more outrageous material. I don't think Roosh's comment on rape is anywhere near as bad as the getting rid of men ideas. You may not agree with Roosh or think much of him or his motivations to say something like that, but his reasoning was that women need to watch out for themselves. Camille Paglia has said the same thing and she's a feminist by some standards; don't go to a par…
/r/RedPillWives06/10/20 04:59 PM
5

I don't know why your comment is downvoted but I'd recommend this and Fascinating Womanhood as well. Nothing so far suggests says this case is any different from the typical "my husband doesn't do anything around the house, he avoids conversations and drinks too much and I have to do everything" cases.
/r/RedPillWives06/10/20 02:56 PM
8

Has nothing else changed? How's your relationship apart from the household things?
/r/RedPillWives06/10/20 11:43 AM
1

Also I honestly recommend treading carefully in this area, it is dark and you can almost feel the tentacles coming for your soul as soon as you get into it, no matter what your approach is, even if you're just trying to investigate. I don't just mean the feminist material and opinions per se, I mean the whole thing, commentary upon commentary. Be careful of what you invest your time in.
/r/RedPillWives05/10/20 03:05 PM
1

I don't recommend reading SCUM Manifesto by Valerie Solanas at all (seriously don't), but a lot of people commented on it after 1968. You might be able to find some examples from that bunch. The Wikipedia article on SCUM is a good place to begin for names.
/r/RedPillWives05/10/20 02:58 PM
1

Why creepy?
/r/RedPillWives05/10/20 05:29 AM
1

I find the MGTOW's reaction to FW really touching. 😔
/r/RedPillWives04/10/20 04:16 PM
1

Thanks, I saw it and while it was pretty well done introduction into FW, I didn't notice any direct comparisons or actually teasing the underlying principles apart. It seems like it's assumed RP goes smoothly with FW.
/r/RedPillWives04/10/20 03:38 PM
1

Hey I found this: https://youtu.be/erA3ZANNjOI any others than the second part to this?
/r/RedPillWives04/10/20 02:35 PM
2

Hooray, thanks u/pm_me_milk_caramels :)
/r/RedPillWives04/10/20 02:35 PM
6

None? 😕 Surely no one thinks FW is Red Pill before there was Red Pill, it clearly has its own foundations and comes to its own conclusions that are not the same as RP.
/r/RedPillWives04/10/20 11:11 AM
2

Of course you can know, he would be on the spot more if she stated what she wants (without the notice of eviction part), waited a bit if it causes any action, and then cried her eyes out and left. If she instead approaches him neutrally as if negotiating a contract, there is no way he could respond with "okay fine, let's get married" and it to actually turn out a good marriage. No way.
/r/RedPillWives03/10/20 04:47 AM
7

Well, there's no good outcomes from having a "let me know by next month" talk. Might as well pack her bags right now.
/r/RedPillWives02/10/20 06:11 PM
3

Well said (I meant u/Hammocknapping, I tried to reply to her :) ). When you have just begun dating, there is nothing at stake, really. Consider the dynamic of a married couple with kids and house and shared finances and work and everything. Imagine all the ways the husband in that scenario is pulling his weight, how much he is investing. Now consider the wife is a submissive, nurturing wife. That is the kind of balanced dynamic you're probably seeking. You seem to be delivering the wifey side of…
/r/RedPillWives02/10/20 10:47 AM
20

I'd just stop at the "I want to be a wife. I want to be a mother." delivered in the most authentic, sincere way possible. Maybe "your wife", instead of "a" wife. "Your children" instead wanting to be a generic mother. Any additional contract type information is not necessary and saying "this is not an ultimatum" means nothing when it is in fact an ultimatum. How he responds to the sincere plea within a reasonable time is enough. Then watch if he takes it seriously, if not, then you have to leave…
/r/RedPillWives02/10/20 10:28 AM
1

It'd be great if people downvoting would comment if they are downvoting because they think Laura Doyle's advice is bad, if my linking it with solipsism is bad, or for some other reason.
/r/RedPillWives30/09/20 12:58 PM
1

I went to look for better definitions of female solipsism. There was a pretty good video on YouTube by a guy called Niko Choski who used the MGTOW acronym but said he's not really going his way at all. I don't know who he is, but I liked his take on things in this video and others I saw. He (NC) explained solipsism with three concepts visualized as three interjecting circles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xb3K_eJwhEo One circle in his diagram is social norms, religion, upbringing etc. She will…
/r/RedPillWives30/09/20 11:01 AM
3

Whaaaat, such blasphemy on a RP subreddit! 😂
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 09:30 PM
2

I might 😊. I'm not a native speaker of this "energy" language, though. It is quite far removed from the typical RP language.
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 09:27 PM
2

Yes, you're absolutely right. But she does keep saying "you can focus on how you feel". By being quiet she is subverting her ego or conscious mind, right, because the mind is not busy trying to predict the conversation and find the right words and so on, and she is gaining better contact with her feelings, getting better grounded in her own body and desires, and on the other hand she is directly engaged in the interaction with him through those same feelings. She is not distracted by her own tho…
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 09:22 PM
1

Yeah, they base their decisions on "larger, rational, more empirical meta-observations" which means they would be thinking back to what they read on TRP about picking a date 😁 This is all hypothetical to me too, I'm in the same boat with you.
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 08:59 PM
2

Great! I'm not saying it's a bad way to go. It seems like a good way to go, imo. I was just wondering if it might be another side of solipsism. If women are solipsistic in their core, surely there is a beneficial, fruitful way to tap into it.
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 08:53 PM
1

Right, I agree with the last part about stock standard. About the definition of solipsism, I get they mostly use it to describe a process of rejecting or accepting arguments on subconscious basis and post-hoc rationalizations of that process and such. However, the biological reasoning they use for female solipsism is that women through out history have had to be focused on their own survival and own well-being. What is bad for woman (or her reproductive strategy) is bad, what is good for woman i…
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 08:45 PM
1

Right, but I wasn't claiming it is solipsistic to engage in a conversation. I was asking about the opposite, about not speaking much, in order to be better in touch with your feelings in that moment. Can that be considered solipsistic? That's my question. I'm lacking a proper definition of solipsism, but one from Tomassi would go like this: "By order of degrees, women have a natural tendency for solipsism – any dynamic is interpreted in terms of how it applies to themselves first, and then the g…
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 08:01 PM
2

That's interesting (I didn't remember Roissy :D). A way to understand femininity is to oppose it with masculinity. Femininity is receptive, masculinity is active. Speaking and carrying a conversation is active. A lot of the counsel on femininity, being more feminine, more in touch with your femininity, feminine symbolism etc. do bring up silence, for multiple reasons. Silence is more than the negative "shutting up". Silence can be mysterious, indeed. Silence is stillness, calmness and creation o…
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 07:56 PM
1

I'll try and paint a better picture of what she's suggesting, about not talking so much and whether it is weird, just to not misrepresent the point of the author. Some more quotes: "Normally, I would have commented on something banal; the weather, what I knew about where we were going, how excited I was to see the "Philadelphia Story" on stage. Instead, I let him tell me about himself and ask questions about me. --- If I had been my unadulterated, chatty self, I don't know that my mellow, slight…
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 05:13 PM
1

On the term solipsism specifically, would you call it solipsistic then to "focus on how you feel"?
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 04:57 PM
1

On the term solipsism specifically, would you call it solipsistic then to "focus on how you feel"?
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 04:57 PM
1

"I was communicating that I knew a lot, was so funny that I deserved extra air-time, and had a lung full of stories" part sounds like her "being in her masculine", unwittingly competing with the man and controlling the conversation, doesn't it? And "being in her feminine" would be the listening, responding, taking in what he has to say? Another quote: "--your powers of attraction will serve you better than an aggressive campaign to get noticed, and your ability to receive, listen and stay ground…
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 03:10 PM
1

You mean solipsism, when it's such that you will take up all space and only talk about yourself and your own life, could be curbed by shutting up? It's possible much of the talk she had produced in the past was solipsistic in nature. Another quote from this chapter (how she was before getting the advice to shut up): "I was sending those men the unappealing signal that I was in control: I was communicating that I knew a lot, was so funny that I deserved extra air-time, and had a lung full of stor…
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 03:02 PM
3

Is it because of how your family treats him or thinks of him, that he cancels plans? If you're very close to your family, does it mean the time when you "were a team" was also really early in your relationship? If you don't want to lose him, you do have to make it clear you're on his side. It's not just a matter of slowly learning new ways to respond to triggering things, you do have to clearly make up for having turned against him, if that is in fact what you have done.
/r/RedPillWives26/09/20 07:57 PM
3

You've seen the letter but he hasn't handed it to you? What is this?
/r/RedPillWives26/09/20 07:54 AM
2

I'm sorry to hear that too. You're not in bad standing with your family I'm sure, they will understand when you do eventually explain what has happened. You are in shock and in grief, all kinds of emotions are okay. You do have to eventually face the reality and start looking for a sense of self in you again. Even though you're suffering and scared now, this may end up being a relief, it sounds like you've been holding up appearances desperately.
/r/RedPillWives26/09/20 07:53 AM
17

I'd think it's not possible for you to continue lying to cover up and keep missing important events without growing resentful. You can tell him you'd love for him to come, but if he chooses not to, you could go without him and if someone asks, simply say he couldn't make it, without making a big deal out of it. What would he do if you did that, what do you mean by getting in good standing and not upsetting him? What kind of fights you have, how do they start and how does it come up that he decid…
/r/RedPillWives25/09/20 03:13 PM
5

Dante's Divina Comedia. I have to read it out loud and backtrack at times to stay involved, but I'm really liking it.
/r/RedPillWives23/09/20 08:57 AM
0

I'm pretty sure only mods or ECs are to suggest it after careful contemplation.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/20 03:38 AM
1

I said it before in this thread. Yes but you also said women can help, nurture and inspire. Usually those three are lumped together and mean something other than break, more like support, serve, love, anything but "be more difficult". So if by help you mean make him suffer so that he has incentive to do something, is nurture and inspire similarly essentially breaking, so that he can grow? If this were a group for women already in a relationship with a HV RP man, would they be comparing notes on …
/r/RedPillWives19/09/20 03:29 AM
1

I mean, the general idea in these groups is that, women do have agency in their own lives and they can get in touch with their feminine side, transforming their lives, which in turn will inspire their husband to be more masculine and give him room to lead, which will make him more attractive to her, and eventually this increased polarity will lead to mutual attraction, happiness, connection, love in the relationship. What seems to vary between the movements is how degenerate of a man can be brou…
/r/RedPillWives18/09/20 02:33 PM
1

Sadly, that is my suspicion, but that would mean all these RPW communities, all these FW and SW communities, are a lie.
/r/RedPillWives18/09/20 02:18 PM
-2

You are saying she is a complete monster who only cares about money. Convincing women to keep buying her product - which is not even that costly - and continue to get destroyed, that's much worse than most anything I've ever heard of. I find it unlikely that she's such a despicable thing. Here's her post on this: https://lauradoyle.org/blog/how-to-know-when-to-divorce/ I totally agree with many that young girls should not be thinking they have the responsibility to stick with some guy they've be…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 02:16 PM
3

Well, I would have to say that in order to hold onto the allure it seems necessary to accept that TRP does not know what it does not know.
/r/RedPillWives18/09/20 11:46 AM
2

Laura Doyle has taken a step back even from that position, saying she has seen (or heard of, I suppose) incredible transformations in situations where she previously would've advised the woman to leave.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 11:39 AM
2

But then, the solemn part has to do with all the work, distancing, rationalization and even self-denial that seems to go with holding a frame, playing the game. It seems like whatever intimate moment is had, it's not really intimate, mutually felt connection between man and woman, but it's that one is being handled by the other. Is it never possible to move past that, to pull the veil back and relate directly, not just man to woman, but human to human, soul to soul? I do desperately want to be h…
/r/RedPillWives18/09/20 07:34 AM
1

u/Kellianny So you might say it's counterproductive to try to hush out the intimate details? TRP does a good job eradicating any mystery by making everything explicit, so I guess I'm despairing over that at times.
/r/RedPillWives18/09/20 07:19 AM
1

Thanks, I doubt "make and break" was actually said anywhere in those books, so I was overstepping a bit there. I'll have to find specific quotes because this I feel is a real issue both personally as well as in terms of RPW. There's thousands of success stories from FW and SW as well, and in those cases the change didn't come from the men. I suppose a caveat would be that by changing themselves the women unlock true masculinity in their men, but that doesn't change the fact that it was the woman…
/r/RedPillWives18/09/20 04:05 AM
1

u/HornsOfApathy I read your post https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/c2l5dt/your_woman_is_one_of_your_greatest_creations/ This in particular is the absolute opposite of what the Surrendered Wives, Fascinating Womanhood teaches. What they might say is the man is rather helpless to change the desperate situation, the most a man can do is stick around and numb himself, maybe be aggressive or distant in order to protect himself, at worst have an affair and leave, and that the emotional …
/r/RedPillWives17/09/20 10:15 AM
1

"We need to have purpose, even though it doesn't exist." "In the end it all meant nothing, and accomplished nothing. We are nothing and have never or will do nothing, because it's tiny and futile, purpose and points of meaning are a lie". Wasted 5 minutes listening to this.
/r/RedPillWives17/09/20 09:56 AM
2

" --- At that point they come full circle and understand that the conceptual love they’d hoped they could return to (or could be) with their mother doesn’t exist in the woman he’s ‘in love’ with, and ultimately, never really existed between he and his mother from his infancy to adulthood. There is no rest, there is no respite or reprieve from performing, but so strong is the desire for that unconditional love assurance that men thought it prudent to write it into “traditional” marriage vows – ‘f…
/r/RedPillWives17/09/20 07:53 AM
2

Efficient work, here's more from the third post related to these that I foolishly left out: https://therationalmale.com/2012/09/11/of-love-and-war/ " In outlining (not defining) a male perspective of love in contrast to a female perspective it’s necessary to understand how a man’s understanding of love shifts as he matures. A lot of commenters wanted to find the base root of that concept in their relationship with their mothers. As Freudian as that rings I wouldn’t say it’s a bad start. Men do i…
/r/RedPillWives17/09/20 07:49 AM
2

Are you a man u/camon313? Who is the 'you' with a side that she's never on? And further, is this more than "we all die alone" thing, is it possible that some people will be on your side, just not ever the woman you're in a relationship with (or women in general)?
/r/RedPillWives17/09/20 07:28 AM
3

Here: https://therationalmale.com/2011/12/27/women-in-love/ https://therationalmale.com/2012/09/10/men-in-love/ Why is it pure cringe :)?
/r/RedPillWives17/09/20 07:14 AM
2

Tomassi wrote 'even our mothers are incapable of this love', they may not ever get even as infants. Still he seems to not think it is a longing intrinsic to man, he says it is from conditioning to romantic love, but such conditioning doesn't touch women (Why not women? I think he is overplaying the role of social conditioning here). From Men in Love (2012): "Women’s solipsism prevents them from realizing that men would even have a differing concept of love than how a woman perceives love." One s…
/r/RedPillWives17/09/20 06:17 AM
3

The Surrendered Wife and the Fascinating Womanhood sees love and relationships rather differently than TRP. Some principles and practices may be the same, but The SW & FW believes in men and women complementing each other and in mutual adoration, trust and growth, that is fulfilling to both. It believes men deeply need women in order to be fully men (and vice versa), while TRP is more antagonist pitting the sexual strategies of men and women against one another in a zero sum game. (sorry had to …
/r/RedPillWives17/09/20 05:40 AM
2

Of course, I didn't take it as judgement. The recommendation was standard procedure, it was an university hospital that put a lot of effort into supporting both skin contact and breastfeeding. They had some kind of international certificate, I'm afraid I don't remember what exactly. Skin contact helps the newborns to adjust to life outside the womb and basically to stay alive, they're more alert, calm and their vitals are better, it helps with early bonding with either parent. It can also be the…
/r/RedPillWives17/09/20 05:34 AM
2

But surely The Rational Male is part of the RP corpus?
/r/RedPillWives16/09/20 07:13 PM
3

Thank you so much. I didn't start very philosophically I'm afraid but I did post something now :).
/r/RedPillWives16/09/20 05:17 PM
7

I've browsed the r/marriedredpill lately. I sometimes read their field reports, to try and reflect on how such and such situation would make me feel, were I in that position. Just today I read about some guy passing his wife's shit test (a rather harmless one, imo), getting her from annoyed to smiling and willing, and he seemed so happy about his overall success. The interaction, as simple as it was, was just the kind of playful courtship I think there should be in a romantic relationship. Readi…
/r/RedPillWives16/09/20 05:15 PM
1

There are excellent reasons to have the child sleep in its own crib, but there are also good reasons to have the baby sleep in the same bed with parents (and possibly older siblings), even if it may seem alien and frightening to some. Accidental suffocation could happen, sure, but it is highly unlikely as long as the parents are aware of the child being there, sober and everyone is healthy (no medications). I'm saying this from having had three kids, all of whom slept in our bed from their birth…
/r/RedPillWives16/09/20 09:28 AM
2

Not at 13 months they don't.
/r/RedPillWives16/09/20 07:04 AM
3

Specifically to the issue with media, you don't need to consume media content that doesn't suit you. Be selective. If you want to find characters that have more depth, go for classics, start reading older books. Pick up a book that is from between the beginning of time to 1970 or so. If you want feminine characters in movies works from Studio Ghibli is a lovely place to start from, I'm sure there's others. Building up a feel for quality helps you to not pay any mind to trash.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/20 03:49 AM
7

If you've been friends for two years, she's probably not just "those people". Grace and love might be the best way forward, it might allow you a sense of closure and in best case scenario it might leave a ringing in her heart, that there is a different way to interact. At the moment she seems consumed by what she perceives as the most important cause, but it may be temporary. If you gain contact with her again, you might tell her wholeheartedly what you've said here, that you really valued your …
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/20 12:16 PM
2

I'm sure most everyone feels that way to some extent. I'm not sure how this works with your anxiety disorder(s), but it might be helpful to focus on breathing exercises and grounding yourself in your body. Do this everyday, don't wait for when you are feeling anxious. Once you get a hang of breathing/mental exercises of your choice, you can try and think of something mildly exciting, and practice bringing yourself back down to calmness. And then again and again. You can learn to faster return to…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/20 08:50 AM
1

In light of all history it is ridiculous to claim that adhering to religion is anathema to masculine man. Modern practices and churches may be deteriorating, and others have pointed this out by sharing their personal experiences. The problem is not in religious belief or submission to authority of the church, that is a poor, poor diagnosis of the situation we're collectively in. OP knew what she wanted, men who are committed to their spiritual life, and she had a very precise problem. u/blizzyb …
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/20 08:25 AM
1

My point is the sigh "Jesus" or "OMG" is usually a mundane expression that calls upon God in a superficial way only = in vain. It's not a prayer in the Spirit, it's not a prayer of the Heart. It is just a route expression of frustration, horror, solidarity etc. like any other we could use. {sorry to be dragging this tangent on :) }
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/20 08:23 AM
5

Yeah, seconding what everyone else is saying, he is not good news. Don't contact him or respond to him if he calls you anymore. If you meet him by accident, leave, because you're vulnerable. You're only considering the initial infatuation when saying "tell him how I feel about him", you're not considering what he has done and hasn't done since. You don't know what he's been up to, when he didn't call or answer you has probably been with other women. You don't need him in the slightest. I'm sorry…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/20 06:44 AM
1

Prayer is worship, prayer is spiritual communication. Prayer is focusing your heart and mind on something, humbling yourself and asking God for help. Something like that. An euphemism to the effect of "Can you believe these f*cking people" is not exactly it :D.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/20 06:14 AM
1

So what you're saying is... OP should linger outside a seminary more.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/20 09:34 PM
1

I suppose, if it truly were a simple prayer, it would be fine and not "in vain", but in reality you could replace it with any profane word you like and the meaning of the utterance would not change. Prayer is (should) be something different.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/20 09:24 PM
1

You cannot be dominant in relationship dynamics unless you have leverage over both sex and commitment. This is where Married Red Pill fails against the core TRP sidebar, it posits "It's Just Your Turn" to "It's Your Turn...As Long As You Want It To Be" MRPers have already surrendered commitment, since women naturally have power of consensual legal sex, all MRPers are submissive by default. Functionally the only way the boyfriend can be dominant sexually, since commitment is implied, is some modi…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/20 12:04 PM
13

Well, everyone is different of course, but one thing about pregnancy and child birth is that the pains and discomfort happen over time. It doesn't all hit you at once, your tolerance may increase with minor aches and one thing the uncomfortableness does is it makes you look forward to giving birth :). No one is ready to give birth just like that, it's a process. Coming to terms with not being in control and stepping into the unknown is part of that process. You can't predict how your pregnancy o…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/20 11:55 AM
1

The value is not just objective benefits though, like gaining things. If there is such an instinct, it must be a two way street, it must also be that women are tuned to live in that relationship and feel a bit out of place in the world without it. We can deny that need of course and brace ourselves, just like the men can deny they need a woman to be the center of their efforts, but it's at the cost of I'd say our soul.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/20 07:17 PM
1

Depends what you mean by personality. People can experience major shifts in their perception which inevitably leads to different relationship with themselves and their environment.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/20 07:11 PM
1

How do you get the kids to sleep at 18:30?
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/20 07:01 PM
1

Could you not just have the talk, act normal and don't be flirty. If he suggests something you don't want to do then say no. If he doesn't bring anything unusual up, you don't have to say no. You also don't need to explain yourself after having said no. If you know B is encouraging him, maybe tell B to stop it.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/20 06:58 PM
2

There's been great books suggested already. You use certain words, like not enough, getting rid of things, losing him. I get the impression you're in a place of lacking and scarcity, and in order to not fail you think most of you needs to be culled and restricted and restrained for you to be able to play the part of a feminine and suitable partner for him. You may feel you are not enough but if you just hold on tightly, keep hacking at yourself and keep your issues from him, then maybe eventuall…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/20 06:51 PM
1

I think you should express to him you're feeling the pressure to make more money and it's becoming a bit too much for you. It is okay to say that you can't do something. Just say you can't because it's true, you can't. Whether it's worrying about the finances or trying to cram more into a day than is humanly possible. It is okay to ask him to carry burdens that you can't and it is okay to be vulnerable. You don't need to be cushioning him from realities that so affect his family. It's especially…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/20 06:48 PM
3

And I think, at the time when Suffragettes became a thing, even the early Feminism, the world was really in a turmoil. It's entirely plausible to me, that women were alarmed and worried over what will happen, and sought to improve things and save herself and children by idealizing the active, capable, independent woman, who is not dependent on the failing husband and father. Or maybe a new balance between the genders really was required. But in general if the men are failing and there's still in…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/18 01:23 PM
2

I thought that suggestion was interesting too. I think the rage is there always, because who else would be watching men, if not women. If women didn't have the visceral understanding of what properly manifested masculinity is, we as a species wouldn't be here. Or vice versa, this feeling has evolved, women aren't always simply judging men based on their subjective contemporary whim (we can be), but it's the experiences of generations of men and women in the past who have formed our animus, the s…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/18 12:51 PM
1

Also, sorry, I did not read the sidebar. Sorry. Someone, a MGTOW I presume, just linked to this over at the Finnish baby forum which targets lazy mothers, so I just haphazardly replied.
/r/MGTOW22/09/17 11:28 AM
2

Idunno, I'm from Finland, have children, am studying STEM at Uni, many of the female students I've seen at lectures have had babies before graduation. I agree there is a problem but I don't think men being even more MGTOW and just signing out will help. Personally I think there's a natural limit to wealth, it's something like three generations. Very few Finns had anything resembling prosperity 100 years ago. We've now had that three generations of welth, collectively, in Finland. People have for…
/r/MGTOW22/09/17 11:23 AM
4

It's bad news that having kids is such a dramatic shift in lifestyle. It's bad news that life without kids and life with kids have drifted so far apart. I think it's the fault of both sides going along with a lifestyle that is not really sustainable and is alienated from reality.
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/17 08:19 AM
2

I think this is a key question and it comes down to something like this: Deciding what is good life, what you want out of life, and seeing reality for what it is. Then adjusting to reality; accepting what you can't change, changing what you can, to live the best possible life. And I agree hypergamy is not bad, without hypergamous tendencies there wouldn't be humans. On the other hand there's nothing behind that drive other than infinite need to keep moving, it works by inducing certain emotions …
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/17 10:24 AM
1

Awww...
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/17 09:47 AM
1

That's good then, I thought it was a more common occurrence.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/17 08:09 PM
1

You can make changes, you're not stuck in "this time". It sounds like you're in a pretty extreme environment especially if you're still in close relations with your family members. But you're not in a pit, you could change your environment and you could be surprised at how much easier it would be to deal with what is pulling you down with relatively small changes, whether they're related to where you live, or just where you work, or who you interact with or like you said just clothes... Maybe th…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/17 07:50 PM
1

Here's what I'm thinking (didn't read the other responses). If he's that serious about providing and you staying home, he should also deal with the bills, have a budget that you can follow (him giving you a certain amount of money that you can spend on what you need to buy for you guys) and you should not have to think about creditors or his work or anything finances related. He would personally be responsible for any debt. That could work, but of course it'd be a huge responsibility on him and …
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/17 07:15 PM
1

Sounds like fluff but great if it can predict future behavior. I highly doubt that though. I wonder how does he define evil. Also I wonder what you think could possible reveal "internal workings of the mind" if not... observations of external traits. The only one who can know about internal workings of anyone's mind is the person themselves (deities excluded). Narcissism or any -pathy are terms that are used to describe sets of traits that other people find bothersome. The terms have some predic…
/r/TheRedPill03/03/17 01:34 AM
1

Eeh, no. Narcissistic refers to a particular set of traits, if they're judged as excessive then the person can be said to be narcissist. Someone can of course misjudge another person's level of narcissism and claim they're a narcissist on account of whatever, but that has nothing to do with anything. Thanks for the book tip!
/r/TheRedPill03/03/17 12:45 AM
1

I understand it is misused, but you were saying in your first reply: A woman is by default narcissistic, therefore AWALT. Narcissistic is not the same as narcissist. I asked you to clarify what you mean and this I guess is your attempt of doing that. The lesbian thing is interesting. Do you have any links to studies? I believe there is a correlation but I personally find it hard to believe the butch lesbians are the only subset of women who would use the "same reasoning as a man", and I'm thinki…
/r/TheRedPill03/03/17 12:08 AM
1

You're inconsistent with your use of terms narcissist and narcissistic. That's what I was asking you to clarify. Also... saying that butch lesbians are NAWALT kind of makes the claim AWALT more like ASASLWALT (all straight and some lesbian women are like that), which I was thinking of too when saying I'd be hard AWALT... but didn't write. I would imagine there's some interesting things happening in terms of sexual strategies of gays.
/r/TheRedPill02/03/17 11:42 PM
3

But, wait... it's a non-statement to say that a woman is by default narcissistic. The general idea is that everybody is narcissistic to an extent. To show that a man is not narcissistic by default would be something.
/r/TheRedPill02/03/17 11:00 PM
1

Hey, thanks, this was a good read and clarified some things for me. Reading that I first thought "well I'd be a hard AWALT then", but I do not quite agree with this definition of hypergamy. For instance, hypergamy is a mechanism by which women seek to obtain maximal outcomes from their sexuality, in some historical contexts this was securing the husband with the best alpha genetics and resources, at present this means securing alpha male genetics, and a beta male to provide for her and the child…
/r/TheRedPill02/03/17 07:14 PM
2

I have not had anything diagnosed, but I'm sure I've at times had bouts of depression, especially when life feels confining. I think the most obvious effect is that it is very easy to blame my partner for what is actually wrong in my life and in my control (or at least is not in his control, not dependent on who I'm with), and that's the philosophy that has lead me to RPW. The issue, what ever it is, has to do with me and not my partner, even if it's really easy to let my thoughts go to what has…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 12:06 PM
1

Yeah, that's what I'd imagine too, but he's wrong to think that, isn't he. Plus, even Jessica Alba would still want her bf to treat her with respect, I'd think, I mean him looking at something is different from ogling and expressing his judgement.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 11:28 AM
3

Also /u/secretcutiepie I like the probably unintentional pun in the thread title: "Getting him to seriously take me" :) Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 10:06 AM
1

I think that's a brilliant idea.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 10:03 AM
2

I'd like to hear what others have to say to this. I think his behavior is not ok, he is overestimating your toughness and underestimating his impact on you. His idea of your durability is wrong. I remember on an entirely different conversation someone very not RPW (haha, very not RPW) saying that their problem is that by being very easy going and being at ease with, not hiding their flaws, they give the impression that they're unmovable by anyone's criticism and actually - end up on a pedestal i…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 09:37 AM
1

Is it then something that you're picking up from the way he talks about or reacts to other women? How is he being judgmental? I mean, that is different from you having low self-esteem, if it's not solely from you. I mean, sure it's still about how you're letting your environment affect you, do you trust him to not turn his judgmental side on you or do you even think it'll be good if he ever does, I don't know, put I think you could also talk with your bf about it.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 06:41 AM
2

He was handsome but he was overweight. I wanted to be unbiased because I really liked him, but the only way I could fuck him was on top because he crushed me. I had to sit on him because his stomach was in the way. That must be what it's like to fuck a pregnant woman. She's talking about a man with a huge beer belly getting in the way when she's on top and crushing her if he's on top, not someone fat in obese style and soft all-over.
/r/TheRedPill26/02/17 05:41 AM
1

Thanks /u/g_e_m_anscombe, I appreciate your thoughtful reply :). I think the core of the theory in all the different RP-related approaches is still that of the man leading and the woman being led whether she wants to or not, due to how both parties are. How the theory is best applied depends on circumstances, but the general TRP-notions of men and women should not become false if circumstances are changed, unless of course the notions are false. I was trying to figure out how the ideal dynamic h…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 09:27 AM
1

So, this is the same thing I was clawing at in my rants which probably unfortunately make little sense to others judging by the voting patterns, lol. There is a limit between being a devoted, respectful partner and going so far that you end up at disrespect. Respect has to be earned, for someone to be a true leader, it has to be an accomplishment that is tested. If you give away respect and the other person takes that and leads you, then you've really disrespected them. Not sure if it's worse th…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 07:35 AM
1

If it turns out there is a chance at romantic relationship and that is what you both want, you could tell him for you to feel safe you have to see him hold himself back instead of making moves on you. Because he is most likely thinking he needs to escalate or else nothing will ever happen. If he is holding back you have more freedom to follow your feelings, you don't feel cornered and can initiate physical touch at your own pace. If he is a good guy and interested in you for more than quick sex,…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/17 08:12 AM
2

Meditation! You have to practice letting go of the anxiety when it is starting to get a hold of you. Look up videos on YouTube, root chakra <- feminine power. You want to get out of your head and be present in the moment. You have to feel him instead of thinking, when you think with anxiety you go crazy with all the options because you can't differentiate good from bad and your mind is in million places at the same time. When in reality there is only present moment, if you are present in the mom…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/17 07:54 AM
3

Haha, lovely :). If he can cook breakfast better than you or likes to do it his way, maybe wake him up with a cup of coffee (or tea or water or whatever he drinks in the mornings) instead.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/17 07:37 AM
1

I guess I'm saying all the changing is still superficial and driven by the same issues that got the relationship off the tracks. Of course, is there something wrong with superficial change if it results in a positive outcome compared to how thongs were. In most ltrs that are not ideal he has already endured a lot, proved that he is committed to her and passed many tests of time, so her sacrifices in changing herself are paid for already. She has power whether she wants to or not. Ideally it woul…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/17 12:14 PM
1

Maybe it's time sensitive, a cycle. To me the difference between RPW and TRP approach when it comes to typical LTR problems is that RPW emphasizes her having lost the real femininity and her behavior is affecting him in a negative way, and the deal is falling apart. TRP would say that she is just being a woman and busting his balls for being (too much of) a beta. If he'll change his attitude and behavior, she'll follow. Now of course because RPW is for women, RPW says she should do the changing …
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/17 11:44 AM
1

So, to me, there is a triangular incompatibility problem: Being a woman with the tendencies women have <> being curious about the dynamic and RP details (using the knowledge to improve your life) <> allowing him to lead and being your feminine best in the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/17 11:06 AM
1

I don't think there should be place for maneuvering if you're the woman. You're supposed to dig into your honest feminine core and communicate to him how you experience your relationship, so he can do the maneuvering. And then you're supposed to trust his maneuvering and ride with it. There is a conflict there between being genuine and direct, and being manipulatively genuine. Only being genuine and non-threatening and vulnerable when it suits your plans for the relationship, is keeping the emot…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/17 08:47 AM
2

You saying (in whatever words) that you're not happy being alone most of the week, even though you have a boyfriend who you'd love to be spending more time with, may be one of the few things that make him reconsider how much he wants to work out. If you keep making sure he has everything he needs to spend all of his time and energy at the gym, even though it is hurting his relationship with his gf (you), he may easily go too far with what is satisfying and addictive in the short term. You should…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/17 08:24 AM
2

Still it's his decision to put that much time into his hobby, the gym is not work where the boss can ask him to do overtime, he makes his own schedules and sets his own goals in his hobby. And it's not like he is off saving lives or curing world hunger. He can do whatever he wants with his time and so can you, you don't have to support him if he doesn't support you and especially you shouldn't support him through something that might kill him. It probably won't kill him, but you shouldn't go out…
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/17 07:50 PM
1

It is similar to kids, with kids we know there's supposed to be a gender gap. You can be friendly and have fun with them, but you'll never be one of them. It is sad if a similar distance must be there in between a man and a woman, and particularly I'm thinking is it bad then, that we know a lot of what goes into the masculine side of the dynamic. Like, can we still forget about it and just enjoy it when it feels right, or does knowing about it end in disillusionment.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/17 04:12 PM
1

I'll just respond quite not directly to your post. I've managed to pinpoint the problem, or at least one side of it to wrong kind of honesty: He should never let her know that he feels like he is struggling to hold a frame, and she must never let him know that she is manipulating herself to keep seeing him as her alpha man. I guess with a lot of work it can become like second nature and they trust each other and themselves in these roles... But it seems like the reality can never be put to words…
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/17 03:56 PM
1

Great. Also on a creepy note I stalked your posts just for a sec and the closest thing to a small penguin in the north is fratercula arctica, one of them was featured in the one Happy Feet movie pretending to be a flying penguin :).
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/17 08:35 AM
1

That's very good, I like how you pointed out there's intrinsic value (trust) in having options but not using the options. I'll think some more. New observations are welcome :). Also I could add my guy is not violent, abusive, unreliable, other bad things. He has flaws of course and I'd like to see him do many things differently, but equally I can spin it around to make me feel like I don't deserve him. In any case I think the relationship (since there are kids dependent on us) is worth more than…
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/17 08:04 AM
1

Thanks /u/JessJaggery, theoretical musings is what I'm after :). The thing is, a woman is not happier if her beta admirer husband admires her more. And is it good for the husband to confuse his value to her value, I don't think so. His value in her eyes does not go up on account of her value going up. In the best case scenario he could use her higher value to build his own confidence and thus his own value, maybe, if everything else aligns to that end. I still think there's a far greater risk th…
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/17 06:57 AM
1

It was a joke inspired by my surprise how I didn't even think about N-count until /u/g_e_m_anscombe mentioned it :). Number of children > N-count. N-count getting one higher makes no difference and is not a factor in my path.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/17 05:07 AM
1

Thank you /u/Gardrothard and /u/g_e_m_anscombe for you replies. I've thought of this more today. I hope you don't mind me using your replies as a sounding board of sorts... I hope you don't interpret this as me trying to argue against you or that I think you're wrong, I'm trying to use the words you used to better explore the thing that bothers me. I liked your replies. When you know these principles you will see your behavior for what it really is, you will see that your emotions represent heur…
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/17 07:28 PM
1

Maybe still there never was a man she could've gotten with whom this affair wouldn't have happened. Like maybe there never was an optimal option for her, maybe she was destined to make some sacrifice, either get her career and her interaction style and not a family (because there aren't that many men who could've "dealt" with her), or get the guy she got and have it turn out the way it did.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/17 09:39 AM
0

Submit means stop meddling with it. Give up all control. Reading TRP or RPW for that matter is still trying to control things.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/17 07:58 PM
1

And, when I'm being bad I'm aware that I am being bad, I'm aware how and why I'm doing it, but I can't stop it! Knowing about it makes me worse! Then if I'm being good, I'm aware I'm doing it, what I'm doing and why, and it is because of TRP. It's not because I'm really looking at him. It's despicable that I'm only being good to him because of me thinking in terms of TRP, that is the opposite of what I'm supposed to be doing in a good BP relationship OR to get a good relationship in TRP terms. A…
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/17 07:23 PM
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What I get from the men's side is that women will destroy relationships because that is what women do. So, if I'm a woman, and I don't want to destroy my relationship, it seems like I'll have to really really submit to not destroy it.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/17 06:51 PM
1

What I see is that dread works. Without dread I'm a bitch! (had to check how to spell it)
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/17 06:47 PM
1

Well lately I've been more on the men's side.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/17 06:10 PM
1

I just have this feeling like something is wrong or a sense of loss or understanding. Sometimes I find the Red Pill refreshing, sometimes like now I just hate it. It's not from not accepting the truth I think, it's more from like there always being this... divide. Between men and women I mean.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/17 06:06 PM
1

Interesting that you would read it as that. I thought it said man was driven entirely by his biology and emotions up until phase 6 (at the doors of commitment), it's at that point when he may finally stop and consult his "logic" before giving completely in to his loving emotions, but obviously he's not emotionless let alone logical in the stages 1-5. Most guys need heartbreak, RP and a lot of practice to keep them from being completely brainless about chasing an attractive girl. Of course "logic…
/r/TheRedPill19/02/17 10:25 AM
2

Hey, try to study more about Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy even if you can't find a therapist. I think you might actually find the self help approach will work well with your Red Pill :) https://www.ocduk.org/cognitive-behavioural-therapy
/r/TheRedPill18/02/17 08:05 PM
1

I don't think finding a young alpha fuck is the way to go, haha, not only is it incredibly difficult also there's a good chance that he will indeed leave you in the not so distant future for a younger woman, because he can. I think you find an older beta with honesty and integrity, and you do the mental work of pushing him up. Have the beautiful babies, yeah, they'll be the reason why you do the work and why all proportions go out of the window, because how do you measure how much an intact fami…
/r/TheRedPill18/02/17 02:08 PM
1

I could see it helping in practice if the rule is that all the things that are lower on the top5 become things to avoid when you're supposed to focus on something at the top. Like when spending time with family, then you do not touch work or do not let your hobbies distract you, do not touch your phone, think if what you're doing at the moment is towards the goal or is it away from it, pursuing something that is not a priority
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/17 04:25 PM
1

Hi, in principle I like the idea, especially the "avoid" list and cleaning up life, what you're exposed to. It's just that five things can cover pretty much everything, so to me your list still looks like "having it all". I mean, it's nit like you'll never again travel or meet your friends or read a book that is not related to your top 5 things (although it is probably a good idea to mostly plan your holidays, friends etc so that they support your goals). Parenting entails a lot. And it doesn't …
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/17 04:07 PM
2

I wonder, if you've talked about this and if he has picked up on you being anxious, that would it be a good thing for both of you if you admitted to him that (the "I am letting my emotions..."). And end it with something about how you're so happy he is handling this or something that says you're eager to see what he finds. It might help you with your anxiety and give him confidence.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/17 08:09 PM
1

Thank you so much! It's true I am overweight and can't even imagine how much more energy I might have if I lost 15kg. You're probably right about lacking something both emotionally and physically. I don't think I'm depressed, I think some kind of important source of emotional fuel that would keep me connected and nourished is missing. I don't understand these emotion things too well. From the hints I've gathered I think taking steps that really show how to be vulnerable and trusting are the way …
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/16 07:00 PM
1

I like the twist of intelligence and larger brain necessitating neoteny. One thing that comes to mind is newborns with skulls made of soft fibrous bones. Maybe beyond a certain level of intelligence and without development slowed down so much that the skull can deform the birth simply was not possible.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/16 09:37 AM
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Excellent! Let me just point out you're assuming monogamy and long childhood predating selection for youthful characteristics. At what point do you think we got intelligent?
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/16 08:14 AM
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Menopause became a serious thing only with increasing brain size. It makes little sense to stop reproducing and continue to exist and spend resources, if your kids are just fine being dumb as a boot and doing their thing eating leaves or what ever. Menopause makes sense if your children mature slowly and need you for something even when they're adults. I don't think neoteny is indistinguishable from actual youth. It's just an adult with flatter face, less hair, bigger eyes, maybe behaving more p…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/16 08:02 AM
1

That's alright, I hope you're not getting frustrated with this. Why would there be selection favouring young - obviously there is, but why? Older age would be a better signal of fitness. And still we don't seem like baby chimps all of our lives, we still age. Just with an odd combination of characteristics...
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/16 07:41 AM
1

I agree that I don't want to push him beyond his breaking point, and since I can't really know how close to snapping he is and also because pushing isn't any good anyway, I can't push it. I just have to keep believing that if he could he would, and if he currently can't, I might be able to change some things that are in my control that would mean a lot to him and inspire him. Good news is I was able to stay mindful about letting him lead over the Christmas. Usually it's a hassle and we're always…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 08:17 PM
1

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I think you have pretty accurate picture of it. The hypocrisy for me comes from me knowing that I'm most annoyed by the things that are a struggle to me, I struggle with inertia and staying on top of things. When I'm feeling weak I'd want him to step up, but he doesn't or at least not in a way I'd want him to. But I also know that if he was much more active than me, I'd probably be resentful of that, and if he pampered me I wouldn't have had to learn …
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 07:48 PM
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Ok, I thought its just something to motivate her to try a bit harder. Someone in the comments said there should always be low level of dread present (I'd feel inclined to believe that). No problem with the subforum.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 04:27 PM
1

Great (that I managed to get it out right)! Sometimes I do take big chunks that make sense premise and conclusion, incorporate it by force and only after start working out the details. With this particular text I got to thinking that yielding and letting him lead might not make me happy, maybe it will never come easy to me. I just view it as laziness and feel annoyed with women who rely on men to guide them (in the other posts in that blog the author speaks about women being first led by their f…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 04:14 PM
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EDIT2: Also it would be hard to tell if someone was 25 but looked 20 because of neotany or if they were just 20 to begin with. So it is more likely that selection was happening based on younger age and not neoteny, since that is what it looks like. What I mean is that neotany is not really observable in the way that would be needed for natural selection. You're saying they'd go for what to them looks like a 20yo and not care if the looks are because of age or neoteny?
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 02:55 PM
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Also I don't think ONLY men would be selecting for it. It might just seem like that because there are only men and women in humans. I think women too would pick a neotenous male hominid over non-neotenous male (like a male gorilla?)... But it's probably just a matter of balance, neoteny makes the species less capable to deal with the harsh reality of hostile environment, so some selection for survival traits has to happen to stay alive. And I'd think this is getting close to the issues in the ar…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 10:53 AM
1

I don't think it's necessary for intelligence payoff to accumulate to show. That would indeed ruin the theory. Being just a little bit better at adapting to changes or having a little bit wider time window to learn from the older tribe members would work in making the individual more successful. It would only require an environment that provides incentive to try new things (instead of reaching for the low hanging fruits, like the bonobos can do) or a tribe that has more information to pass on th…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 10:42 AM
1

Also I was wrong, it wasn't Schopenhauer saying women are rigid, it was William James who I have less respect for so I'm willing to bet his observation is just wrong and not forth adding into the picture :). And the author just used it because he liked a quote saying women are inferior, he didn't care it doesn't exactly make sense. It has been said before but it bears repeating that TRP serves a dual purpose. 1) a place to help men better themselves based on red pill ideas. 2) vent frustration. …
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 09:33 AM
1

No no, sorry, this: if we accept the fact that menopause was why men selected for youth and that this resulted in neoteny in humans and also lastly that neotany resulted in greater cognitive function in humans, then this directly refutes your suggestion that... ... is not what I was thinking. I was working with the presumption that neoteny is what allowed us to get more intelligent, and the benefit of being more intelligent and adaptible is the reason why we are attracted to neotenous traits (co…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 09:31 AM
1

I think this is very common with both sexes but women want to 'feel' their man could have and might still do much better. Right, it's the dread thing, right? I'll post on your subreddit.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 09:17 AM
1

Actually my problem is that I can't be motivated to do it to make his life easier. So I have things I need to do, I don't like doing it and I have to fight my other motivations to get it done, and it doesn't help thinking that I'm doing it so he doesn't have to, actually that sometimes makes me less motivated to do it.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 09:15 AM
1

Actually by putting it into practice I didn't mean concrete practice (like use in relationships), I meant more like theoretical... practice. Sorry I was vague but these conversations are helping with getting it straight in my head. You pointing out the goal and audience of the writer helps. So, let's continue with the nerdy streak :). Chemistry, biology and physics are all attempts to understand reality, they're focusing on different aspects of reality and have a different approach, but if they …
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/16 09:03 AM
1

Oops. Schopenhauer was actually claiming women are like children but he was talking about a very different personality trait (not specific to women). It was the second quote by William James, he claimed women are more rigid and men more flexible with their cognitions.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/16 07:40 PM
1

Hi and thanks for your comment! I'll reply a bit later in length :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/16 04:07 PM
1

Usually any time for myself that I have is stolen from other responsibilities. I'll just neglect the kids (like I am now) or the house or work (I can set my own hours) or don't study (getting bad grades) or sleep less. I'm most jealous of his ability to sleep in the next room when the kids are awake. Much of the stuff I do for kids is probably unnecessary in his opinion, because if I don't do it, it's not like he'll instead start keeping their meal times, change diapers, take them out to play or…
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/16 10:17 AM
1

I only said I didn't know there was a female red pill, because of you mentioning the female red pill :). Maybe the different responses and strategies are just looking at the reality from different sides? The side that deals with the practicalities of dating and mate selection has never really been important to me personally. I know I'm not immune to it, but I do think sometimes you get what you need, not necessarily what you want. And I don't think realistically I could've done much better. And.…
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/16 09:51 AM
1

I love problems. That's another glitch.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/16 09:04 AM
1

I suppose being attracted to something that is of the a) same species, b) opposite sex, c) proper age to mate , d) healthy, are things all animals have to deal with, so for humans to prioritize these things too in their mate selection would be expected... But also this level of selection doesn't drive evolution beyond the basic healthy mammalian level, so this is the base I think, and then there are other layers of strong selection pressures that have made us humans. What neoteny does to the bra…
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/16 08:48 AM
2

Thank you for your comment! I do think I'm "naturally" RP :). I'd respond in length but I've gtg. (I'll just say he is lazy when he's off work, I'm not overworked enough to resent relaxing around me, I'm fine with relaxing and encourage it, just not the constant ignoring and refusing to deal with even nicest requests and not offering me the chance to do the same. But I know if he wants to be like that I can't change that, it's just hard to remind myself how to be about that. My mum used to be li…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 11:54 AM
1

Yay, evolutionary chat! Neoteny doesn't just affect one or two traits, it affects the entire organism by slowing development down (but not reproduction!), meaning selecting for neotenous physical features more neotenous changes occur in hormonal, neural etc. level too. I agree there's not scientific evidence but I'd imagine it's because it's a politically incorrect topic. If you however look at what men are attracted to that is specific to females behavior-wise, it's youth, helplessness, innocen…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 11:32 AM
1

And I'm not far enough yet to be submissive and grateful. That's the glitch. Still, I always do end up with "it is what it is". It is what it is, what am I going to do about it. I don't have much choice, I have to try harder even if he's not and hope for the best. Me writing here is seeking tips and advice how to motivate myself to keep it up in the moment, if it's not out of being so grateful and admiring of him that it comes naturally.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 09:35 AM
2

Thank you for commenting and for the link! Focusing on his good traits has gotten me this far. I don't think it'll carry me much further before he starts behaving differently. I wrote to find other sources of motivation to work on myself that are not dependent on how he is. I did find some suggestions in the book. About being overwhelmed with the work... I'm too comfortseeking to burn myself out with work, and I do think it's healthy for me too to keep busy. Adultlife and family is work and some…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 09:06 AM
1

Thanks for commenting! Someone linked me Fascinating Womanhood, I read a lot of it last night. (=> me being the irresponsible teenager, night before big day and I'm up till early hours reading...) Women ARE supposed to be like children, teenagers. This supposedly makes both men and women happy. I think in evolutionary perspective this makes a lot of sense (at least why it's attractive to men, perhaps also why it is satisfying to women?), neoteny and intelligence ties it together nicely. There ar…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/16 09:00 AM
1

You describe yourself in a pretty unflattering way (lazy, lied about some things early on, jumped into motherhood w/o much of a plan), yet believe your husband is inferior and will become more so if you continue to improve. Unflattering? Those were true statements, but I did say other things about myself too. I don't think he's inferior, but I do think, objectively, if we did break up, he'd really struggle with having no one taking care of him, his kids and his household (plus the lack of sex). …
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/16 08:50 PM
1

He does this because he thinks you are a big, strong, independent woman who doesn't need his help. He thinks this because you act like a big, strong, independent woman who doesn't need his help. This is the opposite of being feminine, vulnerable and putting your trust in his leadership. If he was to start thinking about you as the most responsible teenager in the house, then it would put him on a course to be a more effective leader and a more effective husband for you. He would take on more dut…
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/16 08:01 PM
1

Yeah, I thought the point is share/divide the work in the optimal way based on abilities and/or preferences, so both don't have to take care of everything and who ever is best fit to do a task gets to do it (capable and maybe likes it more). (Err... Obviously beautifying tasks couldn't be shared... But they're a bit different anyway, maybe part of the motivation and enjoyment there comes from the moment of pampering and "me" time, besides enjoying the end result.)
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/16 05:40 PM
1

That's brilliant, thanks. Made me laugh actually. I can't reply in length now, but I understand what you're saying. (and about the other post, writing that was the first time I thought of the possibility that he might sincerely ser me as more capable than I feel I am.)
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/16 01:07 PM
2

Sometimes the big difference is not easy to see...
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/16 12:15 PM
1

Thanks! I suppose I'm worried that going the feminine way is in conflict with some life long goals regarding objective thinking and stuff. But I suppose it's not irreversible in any case and maybe there's wisdom in starting from the biological foundation and working towards free objectivity from there, even if it's uncomfortable first...
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/16 12:14 PM
1

I wasn't aware there was a female red pill :). But it's true and yes to both I suppose. But I don't think I really have much choice on how to go about our relationship. I'll try this one day at a time and it'll work some at least, no sense in me worrying in advance over how it'll be in the future.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/16 12:09 PM
2

Hey thanks! Interesting comment section too :).
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/16 09:57 AM
1

Also, about the "feminine things" that I'll do but not for me, I meant that if I'm left on my own, I won't care about appearances, cleaning, homemaking, cooking. I have very little internal motivation to do it, it doesn't make me happy. It's work that needs to be done. I appreciate the end result (sometimes) and the impact, but I'd rather have someone else do it. I don't have anyone to do it for me, so I have to do it, I just struggle to motivate myself. If, to be more feminine, I have to do it …
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/16 07:22 AM
1

Thanks! I have trouble accepting"it's not for women", if RPW is based on TRP theory of female & male nature and about applying it to practice, and this post definitely is TRP theory. Clearly it is written with a male reader in mind, but if there's truth in it, women should accept it. Or is it that it's true, but we're not supposed to think about it too much?
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/16 06:01 AM
2

However, there's an old saying that asks - do you want to be right or do you want to be married? Sometimes we just need to chose the method which has the most desired result even if it means biting our own ego a bit and not "winning". There's a joke about a woman who always beat her husband in every discussion and argument. One day he won the debate and immediately filed for divorce. His horrified wife was puzzled, she thought he'd be happy to have finally won for a change. The husbands reasonin…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/16 09:45 AM
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