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Equivalent_Exit_804 Archive

View 3 posts and 23 comments by Equivalent_Exit_804 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

That's a very hard topic. I think it's similar to my case. I took it seriously, but in very different ways than she did. She was emotionally far far far more mature in some ways. in some ways nowhere near. So here are my two cents: You cook from what you've got. If you have a Personality Disorder, that's a serious condition. It will take enormous effort to handle it and overcome it. Some can't do it. Even with help they are very hard to live with. Now imagine that you've been dealing with it wit…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 06:53 PM
3

Do you have a garage? Move all her stuff in there, and even if the boy toy comes, they can keep out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 08:18 PM
7

I'm proud of you. Please don't hide your feelings from your daughter. You can be strong, but being strong also means you are honest with her. That you can cry together, that you can embrace this together. That you can show her your emotions, and she can do the same with you. Embrace each other. Best of luck!
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 06:42 AM
3

Look, if you've struggled through your 20s, then you pretty much did all you could. You did a lot. People who don't struggle can blame themselves. People who struggle, fight, endure the pain... People like you, can't blame themselves, because you gave all you could. Maybe you think, that yeah, but one day you were exhausted... No buts. If you were exhausted, then you were. That's what we get from life. And she gave up on you. She gave up 5 months ago, when she already stopped communicating there…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 10:00 PM
6

Ok, look up David Kessler, and Grief. Grief is terrible. When you divorce, you grief. And grief is terrible for everyone. And he has a very very very important point: There's no "worse" grief. The worst grief is YOURS. DoN't compare it. The worst is yours. Always yours. For your colleagues, the worst grief was theirs. For your friends the worst grief was theirs. No comparing. Don't start competing. It's the worst, and that's it. They support you how they can. Nobody will really understand perfec…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 07:08 AM
-1

A "strong example" is not necessarily a healthy example. A healthy example is to think about those who are important for you, who you love. The kids love their mother. So they should think about their mother. Not because the dad thinks about their mom, but because THEY should think about their mom. It's caled integrity, which is more than being selfish and petty.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 07:17 PM
10

I'm 5 weeks in. Biggest help: I took 10 days off, went home to my parents, spent time with them. Knowing I'm still loved, I have people I can realy on, my family is still here. I've been watching videos about heartbreak, about grief, about acceptance. Some of them land, some don't. We all have different processes, go and experiment with them. And be prepared, it comes I waves. I even had a single happy day. However I had a day that I couldn't get out of bed and cried a lot. It's the worst thing …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 10:46 PM
2

Oh yeah, she loves the romantic movies, watching one at least every day, bridgerton she eatched at least 10 times, close to porn novels, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 05:25 PM
5

Pretty much. If she really wanted to fix things, she would have brought in the topics. SOme sessions when we started she was just looking at me, asking me to bring in a topic instead of her. I brought in my topics already. I needed more hugs. I needed to feel loved. She knew about them, I didn't need anything else. She had a lot more issues with me, but she didn't want me to fix them.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 05:23 PM
3

I didn't realize the shitty treatment until now. She was playing the victim and I believed her. She was like, I'm asking for too much love, we hug too much, etc. I didn't realize when I did something wrong, because she was passive about them. I realized something was off, and I started spiraling, trying to change things, but she didn't give any feedback. She was already checked out. And about the passive-aggressive and complete-passive treatment: I didn't realize it until the emotional affair. I…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 05:06 PM
3

Oh so much the same thing with us. Sex was a chore, she did NOTHING, and when I finished after 15 minutes and she didn't, she was mad at me, even though I continued with other tools.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 04:37 PM
5

Yep, in our case the counselor wasn't bad. She was very supportive, helping us find common grounds, safely discuss topics. It was wasted money because my STBXW was already checked out...
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 04:35 PM
2

There was no banging yet. That I know of...
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 04:31 PM
3

Oh our counseling was pretty much the opposite. She brought in a few topics, I was open, listening, trying to pay attention, think about how to fix them. And towards the end she was just silent... Nothing to bring up apart from a few small things.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 04:31 PM
1

Oh man, I'm so sorry. I feel that emotional affair might be even worse. Phsysical is mainly about sex, for the moment. Emotional is about feelings, planning a future. What we were planning together for a while. F her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 03:23 PM
4

I get you. It really is terrible. We made a vow. We married for a good reason. It's like marriage was only a paper for her. Because I guess it really was.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 02:52 PM
4

After this, I'm starting to regain it day by day.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 02:49 PM
3

I don't know if it matters at all... It feels a bit pitty. We had so many beautiful years together. I don't want to close it that way, that we just keep hurting each other. Makes no sense to just hurt each other even more. I have most of my closure.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 02:48 PM
4

Oh, I had no idea about the other guy. She told me half a year ago that the other guy left the company and is never coming back, and she won't see her again. Should have doubted it back then... Towards the end I started going crazy. I did my best, I paid attention, did things to help more, etc., and all I got was passive-aggressive, or completely passive reactions. She didn't tell me when I was doing things wrong, or how I was doing things wrong. She was just on her phone all day. And one day I …
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 01:29 PM
1

ah shit....
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 03:30 PM
6

The more I start thinking about it, the more I remember the bad things. I spent the last year working my ass of in our relationship. I still made mistakes, but it made me miserable, you are right. Feels easier and easier to fall asleep tonight. Maybe I will ahve more than 4 hours of sleep tonight. Let's see.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 07:07 PM
4

Well, she hasn't been attracted for 1.5 years, she just never admitted to me. There was no actual infidelity, but she had a limerance a year ago. That was her breaking point, she admitted it, then we started couples counseling. Guess we shouldn't have.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 06:51 PM
6

What's crazy, in our relationship I was the narcissist, but not those extreme types. I was just managing and suppressing it for a long time. And I do mean it. Before I met my wife, I did some bad stuff, I realized I wanted to be a better person, and I paid a lot of attention to my behavior, how I treated people, etc. Then, years into our relationship, my wife told me that I likely had a small mental breakdown, and since then very likely I haven't been able to control it. And keep in mind, I didn…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 11:50 AM
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