~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 52 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men Too | Eric_C_Productions | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 03:57 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | 3 years after...I am the same age as you and I have two sons that are similar in age to your two daughters. My sons are 22 and 21. I live 85 miles away from them. One lives with their mom and the other is away at college. I see them maybe once or twice a month. They have their own life now just like your daughters. You remember when you were their age. They didn't want to hang out with their parents. I know I didn't. Kinda ironic now when I am 50 and now living with my parents because of my divorce. Anyway, alt… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 05:05 AM |
| 1 | Three years after divorce - alternative pointThat's what you have to do my friend. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 04:00 AM |
| 2 | Three years after divorce - alternative pointRemember the old adage, if she is going to cheat on her husband and blow up her marriage, chances are she is going to do that to this guy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 03:22 AM |
| 2 | Three years after divorce - alternative pointSame story with me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 03:19 AM |
| 6 | Three years after divorce - alternative pointHere are some of my rebuttals to your alternative point. People care. It all depends on how your relationship was with your family and friends. My ex wife isolated me from everyone in my family. She had a contentious relationship with my parents and my friends. Nobody liked her. They stayed out of my drama for the 20 years I was married to her. I lost touch with ALL of my friends and most of my family. When everyone heard I was getting a divorce, they all told me how they felt about her. They we… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/26 03:19 PM |
| 1 | Wife is wanting a divorceStrike first. Don't wait for her to file for divorce. You do it. There is no point in trying to save a marriage if the wife has already checked out. Sure it is tough given that you were married for 23 years, but in the long run, it will be better for you. Start a new life. Focus on you. Do it for yourself. You will learn that it was the best decision you can make. Why be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, right? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/26 05:03 AM |
| 7 | Wife wants 4K a month. Half 401k and pension. I make 200k how fucked am I?She can ask for the world but it is up to your lawyer and her lawyer to reach a compromise. Sounds to me like it is going to be a knock out drag out fight. Be prepared to pay. My ex wife dragged it out for two years. She fought me on everything. She never responded to our requests. She went through three different lawyers. I ended up paying about $25K in lawyer fees after it was all said and done. (She had paid her own legal fees) She never had a real job when we were married. She tutored and ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/26 05:26 AM |
| 10 | Ex Wanting IntimacyWell, let's see....she divorced ME. Hmm....she want to have sex with ME. Well, I remember that old saying....going back to your ex is like going to your fridge, taking a sip of the three week old nasty sour milk then put it back saying "maybe it will taste better tomorrow. HELL No. That ship has sailed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/26 04:25 AM |
| 1 | Advice for what to do BEFORE filing for divorceDM me and I will give you their contact information. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 08:58 PM |
| 10 | My wifeHate to break it to you, she is gone. Checked out. She is not coming back and if she does, don't take her back. She chose to blow up your family. She is only thinking of herself and her needs. Not yours or the family. What does that tell you about her? Heartbroken!? I think her actions should give you enough reason to move on and better yourself and your family...your son. Meaningless sex is still cheating. Stop putting blinders on and ignoring what is right in front of you. Your wife is no good… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 02:33 PM |
| 3 | Looking for advice on teen daughterFirst of all, you need to establish a relationship with your daughter. Its not really any of your business anymore on what your ex-wife is doing with her free time. Worry about yourself. Your ex-wife checked out a long time ago and has moved on. So should you. If your daughter is her confidant, let her. You are not in a competition for her attention. Be the parent. Listen to her. Your daughter is a teenager. I am sure she has heard worse from her friends. If your daughter is so willing to share … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 09:53 PM |
| 7 | Would you take a bulletIs this something you think about when you are going through your midlife crisis? Most men in a healthy marriage would probably say they would take a bullet for their spouse any day. Let's put in a different direction....would SHE take bullet for you? Every man in the world knows that their wife would use their husband as a shield. Self preservation. Either way, a man is screwed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/25 03:00 AM |
| 2 | Guys Who've Been Through Divorce: What Was the HARDEST Part to Get Used To?Wow, you are pretty nice to give your ex wife the house. My ex wanted me to give her the house in exchange for paying no spousal support. I said screw that, I would rather pay $500 a month and keep half the profit in the house then have no money and be stuck in debt. My ex made the whole process as painful at every step. Drew it out for 2 years, cost me $25K in lawyer fees, and fought me for everything including everything in the house. She got to keep that. I had no retirement because she had d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/25 12:53 AM |
| 2 | Guys Who've Been Through Divorce: What Was the HARDEST Part to Get Used To?Side hustles my friend. You do what you have to do to survive. Did you sell your house? Buy her out? Or did she buy you out? Once the marriage is over, priorities change. I lived in my house for 20 years, I bought mine before we got married. Had to remodify my loan back during the Great Recession in 2008-10 and I ended up getting a 40 year loan. (No hope of ever paying it off) During the divorce, the courts said that we needed to sell it. Wife had other ideas and decided to buy me out. I took th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/25 02:55 PM |
| 5 | Guys Who've Been Through Divorce: What Was the HARDEST Part to Get Used To?First of all, you need to get over the whole idea that people are looking at you and seeing a pathetic person. Its all in your head buddy. To put it bluntly, nobody notices (or will tell you if they do notice)if you don't wear matching clothes, if you are having a bad hair day, or if you are post divorce, going through a divorce, or whatever. Everybody is going through their own crap. It seems like you are amplifying the "woe is me" and want others to feel sorry for you. You need to focus on you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/25 02:47 PM |
| 6 | “He’s a good man, but…”Typical wife code. Cannot admit when they are wrong and cannot admit when they are at fault for anything. Blame, blame. Nag, nag, nag. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/25 10:01 PM |
| 11 | “He’s a good man, but…”Sounds like something my ex-wife would say. "You have your moments of being a good provider, but you still suck as a dad, husband and human being..." or "Your hair looks fine but you still look ugly" (Ex would say that when I was getting ready to go to work) There is always that "But" when wives would give that "compliment/insult" in the same breath. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/25 02:37 PM |
| 1 | No one cares about menFirst of all, when your wife loses all respect for you and the marriage, she could care less about you or your feelings. My ex-wife was the dictator who ruled the house with an iron fist. She was the karen, the dragon mom, the narcissist, and used manipulation, violence, and a phone call to the police to get her point across. Sleeping in another room, not in the master bedroom was a choice made by her. If you think, I had the power to decide, then you are fooling your self. My ex wife was the di… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/25 06:54 AM |
| 3 | No one cares about menIt depends on your situation. My ex-wife got me arrested because she made up a story that I hit her when I didn't. As soon as I bailed out of jail, I moved out and lived with my parents. There was no point in living in a house where she is constantly calling the police for every little argument we had. I filed for divorce the next day and went through the divorce process. I was paying all of the bills at the house bc she was milking her situation as best she could. She fought me over everything:… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/25 03:00 PM |
| 7 | No one cares about menI was there my friend. Simply co-habitating and co-existing with my ex-wife. We had a contentious relationship though. At least you have a spare bedroom to stay in. I either resided in my car in the driveway, slept in the hallway, or at the end slept on the couch in the living room or when that proved uncomfortable, slept on the floor. My ex-wife felt that I was no better than our dog. So she treated me like one. Actually she treated the dog better than she treated me. She once told me, "My prio… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/25 02:48 PM |
| 6 | She just went on dating, before divorce is even finishedLet's ask the question, did you file for divorce or did she? If she has moved on quickly, it sounds like she was the one who filed. It sounds to me like this whole divorce has taken you by surprise. Apparently, you are not over her. My ex-wife was on social media, getting scammed by dudes, posting on TikTok, and FAcebook. She was going out on the weekend to clubs. All the while, we were still living together and married. You may think I was devastated or probably stupid, but I had already checke… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 11:56 AM |
| 1 | Dating After DivorceWorks for me. That, and the physical scars that I have when she would do to me when she got pissed off at me. I was her punching bag both figuratively and literally. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 01:38 AM |
| 2 | Ex wife crashed date with new woman.Well, can you blame your new girl for leaving? First, you have "mama drama" and your ex-wife/separated wife still lives with you. Move out, divorce your ex and get your life started, and perhaps she might come back or she may meet a new guy by then. What's crazy is that you still live with your ex. Put yourself in your ex-gf position. What happens if you met a woman with kids and is separated and or divorced and she still lives with her estranged husband? Would you want to get into the middle of… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/25 01:15 AM |
| 3 | Dating After DivorceRemember that feeling of betrayal that you felt when your ex-wife destroyed your marriage and your family. Crushing your trust, values, and meaning in your marriage, crapping on your wedding vows, and rendering your love between each other meaningless? Well, use that as motivation as a way to get over the old feelings for your cheating a$$ wife. Think about all the regard she felt for your marriage and your feelings when she decided to cheat on you while you were married. If you get still rememb… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/25 11:45 PM |
| 11 | Ex wife crashed date with new woman.Are you divorced? Separated? Your first mistake was still living with your ex-wife/separated wife. Aside from co-parenting, that would be the only kind of communication that I would have with her. If you are separated, you should have either moved out or she moved out. Or don't be openly dating. If you are divorced, then you should have found your own place by now. Splitting the time parenting with your ex. The less your ex knows about your dating life. The better. Do you talk to the other guy? … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/25 11:37 PM |
| 3 | Divorce. Infidelity. I’m going crazyThere is no going back. It's over. Even if you worked it out and got back together, that thought of her with another guy and their intimate messages have already burned a mental picture into your head. It will continue to haunt you even if she quits her cheating on you. You will never trust her and it will get worse for you when you suspect she is doing something behind your back...even if she isn't. Honestly, she's moved on and whether she tells you that she is not talking to him anymore, what … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/10/25 02:29 PM |
| 2 | Am I a Narcissist, according to Divorce Coaches I am ?funny how lawyers don't care either way. They make money no matter what. The only ones that profit from a divorce is the lawyers. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/25 02:39 PM |
| 2 | Am I a Narcissist, according to Divorce Coaches I am ?well said | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/25 02:37 PM |
| 6 | Am I a Narcissist, according to Divorce Coaches I am ?So you are taking advice from women divorce coaches online? Let me tell you the behaviors of a narcissist. A narcissist is critical of anyone and everyone. They are outspoken about their contempt towards individuals, groups, or society as a whole. They do not take criticism very well. In fact, they are offended or angered when someone responds back or critical of them. They only care about self preservation. Meaning, they only care for themselves. They believe that they are better than others bo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/25 01:29 PM |
| 5 | You know...a little mutual respect wouldn't kill us...As a guy, if we ever figure out how women think and unlock their "code", then we wouldn't be divorcing them or dying before them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/25 04:05 AM |
| 2 | Going no contact…In your case, I would start emailing or talking through text. For some reason, talking on the phone for me ended up turning into a screaming match or an argument. Not good for the head. I blocked her as soon as I moved out. I knew if I didn't, she would try to reconcile or try to continue to argue with me and I would be going around in circles like before. My mind was made up and I was going to get a divorce. My boys were 17 and 18 by that point and had phones. So it was a no brainer for me. As … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/25 04:12 PM |
| 2 | Going no contact…Honestly, you need to work on yourself. Get a hobby, join a club, work out, read, do whatever you need to self improve. Once you get that down, start going out and meeting people. I avoid the whole online thing. Go meet people the old fashion way. Don't try to force things to happen. Funny thing about life is that things happen when you least expect it. That could be money, luck, and love. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/25 04:05 PM |
| 13 | Going no contact…It depends on your situation. Do you have kids together? If not, what is the point of keeping contact with her? It sounds to me like you haven't gotten over her and that she was the one that wanted the divorce and not you. You are divorced. Its final. Its over. She is free to date or marry anyone she wants. That also applies to you too. I have two grown sons now and I chose to have NO contact with my ex. That is for my well-being and piece of mind. I have blocked her on my phone. The only way sh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/25 04:05 AM |
| 12 | (47). Not yet divorced.Let me just say that it is not going to improve. She has lost respect for you and once that it gone, forget about it. She is done! Why torture yourself? I was married for 20 years and the last five of it, she had NO respect for me. Loveless, angry, fighting, and dead in the bedroom. I was reduced to sleeping on the floor or on the couch and many times in my car. Once a woman loses respect for her partner, spouse or bf, the relationship is OVER. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/25 03:04 PM |
| 1 | Why is it so tough to leave someone who is toxic for me?Been in your shoes too. My ex also had an extremely violent side as well. She believed in an eye for an eye for everything. I was unhappy for years and I thought she was the ONE for me. She played me like violin. She manipulated me slowly for almost 20 years. Made it so that if I left, I would be left with nothing. Financially and otherwise. I endured years of false accusations of cheating, verbal, mental, and physical abuse at her hands. She would of course deny it and say that I was the one wh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/25 03:36 AM |
| 2 | Does divorce with flashbacks get better?Well, you need to work on yourself right now. Think real hard about your actions and own up to your actions. You shouldn't be too hard on your friends considering the actions you did to put yourself in this situation. Time heals wounds. You need to get better in your head, learn from your past mistakes and move on. Avoid those mistakes in the future. Hopefully you learn to never cheat again. Put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself how you would feel if someone you loved betrayed your trust an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/09/25 04:05 AM |
| 7 | Wife just took over half the money out of our savings???First of all, are you going through a divorce? Are you legally separated? If you have filed, then do you have proof? Withdrawal receipts? Is it cash? You need to have a paper trail. My ex-wife emptied my 401K and was keeping everything she was making under the table while we were married. When we got separated (lawyers say it begins when you think it begins, in my case, when I moved out), any proof of money whether it is in a joint account or cash is considered community property. I had to provi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/25 11:31 AM |
| 4 | Men that were cheated on- How on earth did you ever regain your sexual confidence?You move on. Leave the ex behind along with all of the problems that she brought on to you. Go into your next relationship with a fresh take. Don't assume that this next one will do the same thiing to you. Women cheat. Bottom line. They all have their reasons. When I was younger in my 20s, I used to worry about all that "ish" about her cheating and all that devastating betrayal. Now that I am almost 50, was married for 20 years, together for 23 years, I could care less. If a woman is going to ch… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/25 01:39 PM |
| 5 | Length of divorce processTook me two years from start to finish. My ex went through three lawyers. Her lawyers weren't responding to our requests. Had to threaten sanctions on both of them. The only time it seemed when they did respond was when we had court. She defied court orders. She wanted to drag me through the dirt. Even if it meant costing $1000s to her. Cost me $25,000 when it was all said and done. I didn't pay one cent to her for her legal bills. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/25 01:34 PM |
| 5 | Wife cheated during separationSo was it a separation with an anticipation of getting back together or were you separated working on getting a divorce? BEcause if it was the latter, is it considered cheating? I was legally separated going through my divorce and if my ex-wife was dating other guys, I wouldn't call that cheating....I would call it doing me a huge favor by taking her time and attention away from me. I would wait, don't rock the boat, and get your money. After that , she can do whatever she wants. You can do what… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/25 03:46 AM |
| 12 | How soon did your wife get into a relationship with someone elseWho cares? When the divorce process is finalized, whatever she does from there and her future it doesn't matter. Good riddance. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/25 02:37 AM |
| 3 | My wife has gone insane.Good luck with that.Remember, you can't help someone who won't admit they have a problem. Based on my ex-wife's behavior, I honestly think she is bi-polar. My kids would agree. But my ex-wife projects and says that I am the one who is bi-polar. I am not the one with mood swings. She can be happy and loving and then with a snap of a finger, she is going ballistic and yelling at everyone. My ex would be hyper focused on some trivial thing and wouldn't let up on it. I will give you a good example. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/25 02:31 PM |
| 9 | My wife has gone insane.You sure we aren't married to the same woman? My ex-wife accused me of the same thing. Affairs throughout our 20 year marriage. (Never cheated on her once), she was convinced that I had a four year relationship with a woman at my kid's preschool (even to this day-18 years later-she still believes so), she didn't work a 9 to 5 job when we were married (made money under the table), she had drained my 401K, I didn't have any money to my name, and the only asset that I had was my house. I was thinki… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/25 12:07 PM |
| 1 | How long did you get over?Married 20 years, together 23 years, separated 2, Divorce took 2 years and $25k, divorced now 11 months. 2 Restraining orders against her, Arrested twice, Wife arrested twice and once convicted of assault and battery, endured 20 years of physical and mental abuse, lost my 401K, destroyed car, all personal possessions thrown away, and in the process had two sons. Was it worth it? Of course, I have two sons that are in college, love to death, both realtors and hopefully will be more successful and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/25 01:34 PM |
| 6 | Bottom fell out after divorceFirst of all, you need to get control of your emotions and life. You should use this time to focus on BETTERING yourself. Get counseling, join a social group, sports league, get a hobby, learn a language, go travelling. Do something. Self improvement is the key. You cannot control everything around you but you can control your own destiny. I know it is cliche, but you are FREE. FREE to do what you want, when you want and how you want. Think of it like when you got out of high school. You had dre… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/25 03:31 AM |
| 9 | Like a sap I keep falling for itThe ex-wife knows all the tricks in the book. Plays you for fools. She knows how to push all of the right buttons and the wrong ones too. The day you stand up to this and to HER, is the day you are truly free of her. Stay strong and move on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/25 05:40 AM |
| 1 | I (M28) miss my wife (27) so much. After 2 years of marriage and 5 in relationship, I had to go away because I couldn’t handle my promiscuity.No problem my friend. I was separated once (she had destroyed my car, I was reduced to living in my disabled car in the driveway because she hated me at that point) One day, she got pissed off at me for a comment, took me about 40 miles from our house, dropped me off in the middle of no where and said good luck and good riddance. (I had no money, phone, and only had the clothes on my back-at that point i looked like a homeless guy) I found a cell phone store, called my parents and other family m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/25 11:46 PM |
| 2 | I (M28) miss my wife (27) so much. After 2 years of marriage and 5 in relationship, I had to go away because I couldn’t handle my promiscuity.I agree. My ex wife told me that I didn't deserve to live. Her anger was well deserved but it evolved into the point where she had TOTAL control over my life. I was literally serving life in jail. My own pets had more freedom than I did. It got to the point where I couldn't look at another woman in public when we were at the mall or at a store without her accusing me of "flirting with my eyes". She controlled all money (so I wouldn't be taking other women out) and held onto my phone (so that she… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/25 09:37 PM |
| 3 | I (M28) miss my wife (27) so much. After 2 years of marriage and 5 in relationship, I had to go away because I couldn’t handle my promiscuity.Hey man, what you did as a kid, that's fine. I'm not judging you on that. What I am saying is that we all make choices. You obviously chose to cheat on your wife. That's something you have to live with. I am 49 years old. I have two sons who are 21 and 20. I was married for 20 years, together for 23. I'm no saint either. I cheated on my ex wife when we were dating. I can make the excuse by saying I was young and dumb but maybe I wasn't ready for marriage at 27 when I was doing all of this crap. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/25 08:53 PM |
| 3 | I (M28) miss my wife (27) so much. After 2 years of marriage and 5 in relationship, I had to go away because I couldn’t handle my promiscuity.Then why did you get married? You are not in the mindset to settle down. Being in a relationship is a choice. You said you have been in relationships since you were 13. Your choice. If you want to be with the world and experience the world, then why would you ever consider a relationship? I don't whether you come to whine, gloat or expect people to feel sorry for you. Put yourself in your ex-wife's shoes. How would you feel if the person you married and loved cheated on you because they felt lik… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/25 07:27 PM |
| 4 | Is an attorney worth itIf you are asking if it is worth it, then you have answered your question. Of course. You want to be the one to file. That is if you want to get a divorce. If will get messy and expensive, but in the end, it will hopefully work out for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/25 12:41 AM |
| 3 | Good gym routine for post-divorce?I was in the same shoes as you. The difference was that I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. The minute I got my test results back, I decided to make my change. I didn't want to go on pills. I was 193lbs and about 30 lbs overweight. Doctor had told me that I needed to get down to my college weight. So I changed my diet, cut out the sugar and started to count calories. For the first three weeks, I was at about a 1300 calorie diet. I lost 10 pounds in the first month. I have since stayed on my di… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/25 01:05 PM |
| 1 | Does couple / marriage counseling work?I think your wife has made up her mind. If your wife is not happy in the relationship, no amount of counseling will change her mind. I was in that situation in the last two years of my marriage (married 20 years), she had lost all respect for me, I was sleeping in the living room, she was chatting with guys online, we were arguing, she was on her phone all day, slept in her own room, locked her door at night, and she wanted me out of the house. She took extreme measures and got me arrested. I mo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/25 12:05 PM |
| 1 | Does Filing for Divorce “To Teach Them a Lesson” Ever Actually Work? Do People Really Come Back?For me, I was not allowed to have friends when I was married. Especially female friends. When I separated, I started to reach out to all of my friends and even my old female friends. I got on social media like Reddit, Instagram and expanded on YouTube. My ex wife was jealous and insecure who felt that I was trying to find women on the internet. She accused me of cheating throughout our 20 year marriage. I never once cheated on her. As for you, you are more than welcome to vent or ask questions. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/25 03:49 AM |
| 1 | Does Filing for Divorce “To Teach Them a Lesson” Ever Actually Work? Do People Really Come Back?With the wife, I would talk with your lawyer about her behavior and her blatant violations of your mutually agreed MSA. Ask them if you can seek to provide financial relief given your situation with the judge and pursue sanctions against her because she is purposely delaying the process of your divorce. They can also seek sanctions with her attorney as well. My ex was doing the same thing. Not returning messages and requests. Her attorneys would not even respond back as well. The only time we he… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/25 11:21 PM |
| 1 | Does Filing for Divorce “To Teach Them a Lesson” Ever Actually Work? Do People Really Come Back?Never underestimate your ex-wife. She may seem that she has no work experience and may cry victim but women are great at playing that game. Case in point, my ex did not work a true 9 to 5 job when we were married and she was fortunate enough to stay home with the kids and raise them while I worked and was the bread winner. She was tutoring, driving kids, and baby sitting Facebook marketplace. Pretty soon she was making and SAVING money for herself (you could call it MAD Money if you want). She d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/25 08:40 PM |
| 1 | Does Filing for Divorce “To Teach Them a Lesson” Ever Actually Work? Do People Really Come Back?I have 0 communication with my ex-wife. In fact, the last time I had any communication was through my kids. They text me her message to me and I text them who relay it back to her. She also emails me but that it about it. I don't have plans to ever see her again unless it is at my kid's weddings. I send her my spousal support through online banking. That's it. My kids are in their 20s and living with her right now. They tell me what is going on with her and their conflict with her. While we were… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/25 01:47 PM |
| 2 | Does Filing for Divorce “To Teach Them a Lesson” Ever Actually Work? Do People Really Come Back?My ex-wife had to pay a fine. Me and my lawyer had no control over that. I don't know how much it was since I am no longer on speaking terms with her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/25 01:37 PM |
| 8 | Does Filing for Divorce “To Teach Them a Lesson” Ever Actually Work? Do People Really Come Back?My ex-wife did that in the beginning of 2020 while we were separated and I had filed a restraining order against her for physical abuse. While separated, I lived with my parents while we tried to work things out. The judge slapped her with a 2 year "no negative contact" restraining order. I moved back 6 months later. During our separation, She had filed all of the necessary paperwork in the courts for a divorce but she never served me with it. So the divorce petition sat in the courts for all of… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 12:13 PM |
| 2 | Why is it so easy?Who cares? Some people are not fit to be parents. Some people don't want the responsibilities. Some people don't want to be parents. People do stupid things. People are stupid. Your ex did you and your daughter a favor. What happens if she had chosen to stay in your daughter's life by taking 50% custody. Can you imagine all of the negative and unimaginable things that could have happened.?Could be drugs. Could be abuse. Could be anything. So count your blessings that your daughter is out of that… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/25 01:29 PM |
| 2 | How can I manage to just not give a fSpouses always know how to press your "button". Just like I am sure that you know how to press her button. When I was going through my divorce, I didn't talk to her except when we were in court. We have two sons and the instant I moved out, I blocked her on my phone. I refused to talk to her. Why? Because I knew by doing so, she would suck me back into the madness. The divorce process took over 2 years, and in that time, I think I only talked to her once and that was because I would communicate … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/25 01:30 PM |
| 8 | How can I manage to just not give a fShe still has her thumb on you. I was like you for 22 years. 20 of those years, we were married. My ex wife is toxic and in turn, she directed that toxicity at me because she wanted to mold me and control me. Once I moved out and filed for divorce, she will argue that she was the one to do so, that control was gone. I hated the person I had become. I had health issues due to the stress. I felt that I hated all women because that is what she wanted me to do so that "I would only have eyes for her… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/25 01:20 PM |
| 2 | Summer is the loneliest time?Two words.... ROAD TRIP! Take time for yourself. Treat yourself. Go do something that you haven't done before. You are free and do something spontaneous. Something you couldn't do when you were married with kids. Pick up a hobby. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/25 01:28 AM |
| 4 | Why do divorced men feel as if they have less responsibility with kids after divorce?It all depends on the situation and the father. I don't pay child support, my kids are grown up and they live with their mom. I pay my ex-wife spousal support and she feels it is necessary to charge my oldest son rent of $800 a month. (It is another way of getting me to pay "child support" without calling it that.) I pay for my son's monthly cell phone bill, car repairs, and any other things that come up for them. My ex-wife simply provides a roof over their head (not really if I am paying my so… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 10:18 PM |
| 2 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?Meet some woman at church. Probably have the best kind of morals that you are looking for. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 08:32 PM |
| 2 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?They are a diamond in the rough. That is your job to find them. One tip, avoid the dating apps. Avoid the drama. I met my gf the old fashion way. In person. Good luck my friend, there is light at the end of the tunnel. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 05:44 AM |
| 4 | For those of you dealing with cheating, how do you get over the anger?Well, use that negative thoughts and anger and channel it into something positive. Hear me out, she cheated. She betrayed your trust and ruined your family. Her behavior speaks volumes. A pathetic selfish human being who thinks of her own needs above her own family. So, for you, she just did you a favor. She gave you your freedom back. She gave you your power back. She gave you the ability to find someone who will NOT be like her. Someone who will be worthy of your love. You have another chance … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 05:32 AM |
| 11 | You Know It’s Over When…That is the gist of being in a loveless marriage that evolved from something that once meant something. She essentially lost all respect for you. You also forgot when she forgets your birthday, Father's Day and eventually the anniversary. It's a mere afterthought for her when she expects it to be a holiday for her. My ex-wife couldn't even tell the judge at our hearing when our wedding anniversary was. How pathetic was that? I even incorporated that date into my email address! | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 04:12 AM |
| 2 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?I met my girlfriend about two months after moving out of my house. Totally unexpected and she is completely OPPOSITE of my ex-wife. Its restores my faith in humanity knowing that not all women are like my toxic ex-wife. Someone who accepts me for who I am. I didn't have any money, broke, in debt, living at my parents, borrowing my parent's car, battling it out in court in my divorce (took 2 years and cost me $25k), and struggling to pay the bills for a house that my ex-wife and my kids lived at … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 02:19 AM |
| 2 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?If you feel the need to start a new family, more power to you. I am at that stage in my life that I am GLAD that my kids are grown up and in college. I recently went to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach with my girlfriend (47F, no kids) and all we could hear was the TON of kids and babies screaming and running around. My gf has no patience for them and thats understandable. Me? It was a reminder of my old life, when the sounds of kids and noise was comforting. I'm used to that noise. Wit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 01:56 AM |
| 4 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?I was in the same situation. I was married for 20 years together for 24. I am newly divorced and in my late 40s. My sons are in their 20s now. Will I remarry? Probably not. Do I want more kids? NO! I am done having kids. I don't want to start a new family. With that being said, I choose not to date women who are a LOT younger than me. Keep in mind, my sons are in their 20s. I think it would be inappropriate for me (that is my OWN opinion) to be seeking women who would be the same age or a little… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 12:53 AM |
| 2 | Divorced Dads Coping After Infidelity– When She “moved on” Stronger, and You are still rebuildingThe first thing to do is to get over the competition with your ex-wife. You are NOT competing with her. Once you can get over that, the more you can move on. Many times we become envious of others (that includes your ex) with that "grass is greener on the other side mentality". Worry about yourself. Don't worry about others. You make your own grass green. Your ex-wife betrayed you and I know that sucks but her karma will catch up to her one way or another. She may not have a guilty conscious but… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/25 04:31 AM |
| 3 | I don't know how to get out.Start lawyering up. You need to get your finances in order. Do you have kids? I was in a similar marriage for 20 years and I was married to a toxic person. She used to use the same kind of tactics as well. But my ex-wife had a violent streak to go with that as well. As for you, l would consider asking a friend, relative or parent about living there while you go through the process. As for finances, have you considered side jobs to supplement your current job? Sell things on Offerup or Ebay. Uber… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/25 02:24 PM |
| 3 | New GF asking for too much?Does she have kids? If she doesn't, I don't think she understands the dynamics of having kids or the committment needed to be one. She seems insecure to me. That may lead to problems which I think it is starting to happen in your case. You need to make the choice as to whether you want to continue with it. I think she may have issues and she may feel that your kids are seen as a burden to her for your attention. That may be bad in the future if you decide to marry her or stay in a longterm relat… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/25 03:19 PM |
| 1 | I’m lost and dying insideEssentially you and your wife are roommates. Basically coexisting. You are neither here or there. You are both responsible parents, your focus is on your jobs and keeping your family together.Your wife is controlling. Probably makes you do things that you hate doing. Makes you go places where you don't care to go. She probably trashes you in front of the kids. She may even talk down to you right to your face. But you stay quiet. You take it. Be the good little husband. Does all of this sound fam… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/25 02:00 AM |
| 9 | How to match her coldness and indifference?You need to get that eye for an eye mentality out of your head. Honestly, she was probably seeing someone on the side or was at least emotionally cheating. Well, you need to get your assets squared away and prepare to either get rid of the new house or let her buy you out. You also dodged a bullet with kids. That would have been worse in terms of the marriage. With this, you can detach and go your separate ways. Maybe go back to your awesome NYC life again. Maybe you need to chalk this experienc… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 06:20 PM |
| 14 | Am I too nice/friendly to my ex?Do you really need to send your ex-wife a gift? She is the mother to your kids. That's it. You have no obligations to her anymore. Would she return the favor for you on Father's Day? I think you know the answer. Besides, do you want to cause friction with your current relationship. Why don't you get your current girlfriend a gift instead? If she is a mother, that much better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 02:31 AM |
| 1 | The best revenge is to be happyWe have to use our experiences as a learning lesson. As painful as it can get, if we don't learn from our "mistakes" then obviously we didn't grow. That is what I tell my kids. Learn from my mistakes. Avoid women like your mom. They definitely know that! And they do!!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 02:02 AM |
| 2 | The best revenge is to be happyLive to tell. If I had stayed in my marriage any longer, chances are she would have killed me and got away with it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 01:40 AM |
| 9 | The best revenge is to be happyI hear ya. I should be bitter too. I endured 20 years of mental and physical abuse at the hands of my ex-wife. Try being accused of cheating for the whole 20 years, having all of your clothes and personal belongings thrown away, your car destroyed, 401K drained, being told you were a loser everyday of that marriage, getting arrested twice, going to the ER twice, broken bones, being choked, stabbed, hit by the car, and having so many physical and emotional scars to go with that. How about having … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 01:29 AM |
| 11 | The best revenge is to be happyHow is that hard? Why are you bitter? Her immature behavior and her willingness to throw whatever was good in her life away should tell you everything about her. She did you a favor. She gave you a second chance in life to be happy and content with someone else who can truly make you happy. She gave you your freedom. She is now someone else's problem. Her drama is no longer yours. You do what makes you happy and be the best parent and person you can be. Remember, it is HER loss, not yours. Once … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 12:48 AM |
| 14 | The best revenge is to be happyThe best revenge is not only being happy but also succeeding in those areas that your ex spouse told you that you were lacking in. Or where she considered you a failure. For me, according to my ex-spouse, it was failing in everything including in life. So with that being said, the bar isn't going to be set too high for me. So if I just live my life happy, I just succeeded. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/25 12:41 AM |
| 4 | When did you realize what you do will never be enough?The last 6 years of my marriage, my ex-wife seemed to be green with envy. We lived on one income (my income) and she worked side jobs keeping all of the money for herself. I went into debt. I ended up draining my 401k because of bills and trying to make ends meet. My ex didn't help with the bills even though she was making money on the side and hoarding it. She would tell me, "You got yourself into this mess. Get yourself out." There was no teamwork, my marriage was a essentially a dictatorship … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/25 12:11 PM |
| 15 | Wife Wants Divorce, Affair?At this point, she could be having an emotional affair as well. Met a pilot, businessman etc. Does it matter at this point? She has lost all respect for you as a man and husband. She has convinced herself that she is done with the relationship and at this point, time to start looking at lawyers. She could use this as her excuse to act on her mid life crisis. If you live in a no fault state, it doesn't matter the reason for the divorce. Irreconcilable differences. If she is toxic, and blames you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/25 03:04 AM |
| 1 | Should I block her number after all this is done?It depends. Do you have kids with her? If so, do they have their own cell phones? You can talk to them and not worry about the ex. If no kids, then block her. You can sever ties with her unless you have to pay child support and alimony. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 09:07 PM |
| 1 | What does leads to divorce?Its almost like all of these women (our ex-wives) are drinking the same Kool-Aid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 05:04 PM |
| 5 | What are the stepsGet a lawyer and get your assets straightened up. Your kids are adults now. They should already know what kind of person you and your wife are. If you are open and honest with them, then why should that be an issue? Don't play those games where you are asking them to choose sides. Start writing down what you want and what you are willing to give up. Remember, it is all clutter at this point. What is important for you to keep and are willing to move with you? If you and your wife are both partner… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/25 11:45 PM |
| 12 | What helped you heal?I will leave you with this one tidbit. Sometimes you think that you are alone and all of this crap is only happening to you. You're not alone. It happens to more divorced men than you think. I have always stayed positive in my life and Lord knows that I should be the last guy on this Earth to be giving advice, but remember, there is always someone who has it worse than you. Count your blessings. I endured 20 years of marriage in a mental and physically abusive marriage and it was my ex-wife who … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/25 11:36 PM |
| 4 | What helped you heal?Well, you should be celebrating your new found freedom. You have an opportunity to start your life again. Change up your life. Maybe do things that you aren't accustomed to doing. Take a risk, talk to people outside of work. Pick up a hobby. Maybe you had a list when you were married of things you wanted to do in your life. Here is a chance to make good on that. It is easy to get down on your situation but try looking at the positive aspect of life. You are divorced, free, you have kids who look… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/25 11:25 PM |
| 2 | What does leads to divorce?Interesting how they give the guy the bad rap, right? Hopefully your ex was accusing you of cheating throughout the marriage like mine. I was faithful to her for 20 years and yet she told the lawyers that I was constantly cheating throughout the marriage and told everyone else that I did. In my marriage, "You cheat, you get beat! If you didn't cheat and you were accused of it, you still get beat..." | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/25 04:34 PM |
| 3 | What does leads to divorce?I watched that video. Thing was, everything was true except, my wife was the lazy one who didn't work and when she did, she didn't help out with the bills and kept what she made for herself. I was the cook, the housemaid, the breadwinner, and I was the guy...honey do this, honey do that. She just sat on the computer or on her phone all day and watched TikTok videos and posted videos of herself and how great she was. She would take credit for all the accomplishments and accolades for our kids in … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/25 01:32 PM |
| 3 | Ex-Wife never posted pictures of us or our son when we were together. She has been posting regularly with her new boyfriend who she cheated on me and left me for. Any ideas why?But you know what? You have a chance to make it a happy story for your son. Sure, it sucks that both of his parents are not "one big happy family" but do you think it would be fair to him if he grew up in a household where the husband and wife are constantly fighting and screaming at each other? The toxicity would likely be in his life as an adult. Your son would probably develop other issues that would negatively affect him later in life. So just show him what a real MAN should be. Be a FATHER.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/25 01:25 PM |
| 1 | What does leads to divorce?I think it isn't really modern women, I just think we just need to find the RIGHT woman. They are out there, like a diamond in the rough. My ex and your ex suffer from narcissism and an emotional complex. They put a good front when you first start dating but I realize now that there were warning signs that I overlooked. Or just chose to ignore. My friends and family told me but I didn't want to hear it. I had my "love googles" on and didn't want to see the cold reality. The abuse for me got wors… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/25 01:07 PM |
| 6 | Ex-Wife never posted pictures of us or our son when we were together. She has been posting regularly with her new boyfriend who she cheated on me and left me for. Any ideas why?Well, it hurts but honestly, she did you a favor. Look at this boyfriend as the guy who saved you from this crap show. She is HIS problem now. Let him deal with HER drama. Remember, what she did to you, she will do to him. I know this is cruel to be kind, but what happens if we fast forward 10 years or 15 years down the line? You think you are in this great marriage and find out that she was cheating on you the whole time? Or she got pregnant and had a kid and come to find out that it isn't your… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/25 12:21 PM |
| 4 | What does leads to divorce?I think we all think it is only isolated thing to us but it seems like it is pretty common. I used to watch Married with Children and laughed at it when I was a kid. I never figured 25 years later, it was a reflection of my life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/25 12:02 PM |
| 3 | What does leads to divorce?Move on and if you have kids, focus on them. Once a woman's mind is made up, they move on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/25 11:59 AM |
| 5 | Ex-Wife never posted pictures of us or our son when we were together. She has been posting regularly with her new boyfriend who she cheated on me and left me for. Any ideas why?She had lost all respect for you and wanted everyone to know. Dude, she is 24! Literally an immature kid! Look ,her immaturity is a sign of her age. You need to move on, start focusing on being a PARENT to your kid. Who cares what she is doing anymore? You need to be the ADULT and be the PARENT to your child. Be the role model in your kid's life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/25 11:58 AM |
| 7 | What does leads to divorce?You need to talk to her and tell her how you feel before she gets to the point where she has no respect for you, hates everything about you, can't stand to be around you, argues about every trivial thing, blames you for her "unhappy" life, tells you that you need to make more money because she "didn't" sign up to be poor, she looks at you as a roommate, you feel like you co-exist, she starts hating your friends and family, feels you could be a better husband and father, is envious of her friends… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/25 01:16 AM |
| 1 | Guidance After Separation. Feeling Lost and OverwhelmedLook, you need to file as soon as possible if you are going to get a divorce. Sounds to me like she is going to make your life hell. My ex-wife didn't make this divorce easy. She fought me the whole way. She never answered requests, her lawyers didn't cooperate and she made unreasonable demands. She went through three lawyers and it would eventually cost me over $25k and took 2 years to finalize. I was married for 20 years and together for 23 years. My ex-wife was the epitome of toxicity and nar… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/25 05:01 AM |
| 1 | Guidance After Separation. Feeling Lost and OverwhelmedSee if you can go through moderation. Are you on good terms? You said that your relationship is kinda toxic. Is she the type who is vindictive? If she is, be prepared to lawyer up. If you don't have money, you may need to borrow from your parents or 401k. That is what i did. Fortunately you do not have any kids. But be prepared for alimony. It depends on how you both make and also how long you were married. That is how it is in California. Good luck to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/25 04:16 AM |
| 7 | Recent text from ex-wifeCheck your brakes my friend.Maybe she is out to get you... | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/25 03:52 AM |
| 5 | Wife left me but kept some posts.What happened to the days when we had physical pictures? As for the social media, block her and move on. Why would you follow her? Why don't you create your own social media account? Put all of those pictures on your own account. I was married for 20 years and I wasn't allowed to have social media. As soon as I was separated and in the process of my divorce, I opened all of my own accounts and kept them private. I don't want her knowing anything about me anymore. I posted all of the pictures tha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 11:42 PM |
| 12 | First girl after divorce… disasterUse this as a lesson for your next relationship. You got your whole life to meet new women. Take your time. Don't rush into another relationship if you just got out of one. Enjoy your freedom. Work on yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/25 03:22 AM |
| 8 | I need some input from divorced dads.First and foremost, you need to find a place for yourself. Whether it is 15 minutes away or 30 minutes away, all you need to worry about is that you are accessible in an emergency. Maybe find an apartment or town home. Just make sure you provide a comfortable and stable house for your kids when they stay with you. Chances are they are going to be living with your ex wife in the school district of her choosing. So, you need to accept that. As for your kids, do you remember when you were a teenage… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/25 06:29 AM |
| 1 | Feeling worthless.As they say, don't let that anger and hate consume you. I'm sorry to hear that your marriage ended the way it did. But its over now and you need to move on. Sure it hurts and the betrayal stings but in the end, she did you a favor. What happened if she didn't get pregnant and just continued cheating on you until she gave you an STD or something like that? Would you have felt any different?Bottom line, she gave you your freedom. She gave you a chance to find happiness again. A second chance to fi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/25 06:11 AM |
| 2 | Need Advice!You should have walked away. Even though she hit you first, the cops will come and arrest you both. That is standard protocol in a domestic violence call. Lawyer up my friend. They will charge both of you with assault and battery. You should be able to bail out. Not the end of the world. Depends if the DA will pick up the charges between both of you. Or you. Either way, you may have to plead guilty on a lesser charge or if you want fight the charge they will give you a public defender or if you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/25 02:36 AM |
| 3 | Loss of friends and changes in lifestyleThen can you really truly call them your friends? True friends stick around through thick and thin. Usually you count them on one hand. I lost many who I thought were friends. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/25 04:11 PM |
| 0 | Ban cursing/swearing??Well, if you could tell your younger self that he should have learned to curse so that he could be a better person later in life be considered sound advice? If I had the opportunity to talk to my 9 year old self again, I would have told him to tone it down at school and around everyone. Cursing makes you look uneducated and low class. Trust me, I can curse with the best of them. But as I get older, I am 49 years old, I find that most of the time, I only curse when I am pissed off (something my e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/25 12:09 PM |
| 7 | Suggestions dealing with hostile ex trying to annoy me with new boyfriendSo does it really bother you? Even annoy you? It shouldn't. She is out of your life now. The new bf or guy in her life is doing you the biggest favor in the world. He is taking her off of your hands. He is her problem now. Ignore her. She is just trying to get into you head like a bully. All you have to do is smile and say to yourself, "I am glad I am not you buddy." | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/25 05:12 AM |
| -4 | Ban cursing/swearing??You are the father. You are the role model. Do you want to hear your kids cursing at you and your family? Or in casual conversations with their friends? They are 10 and 13. Not 20ish men who are in college or beyond. Listen, I am no angel and I have said and done things in front of the kids that I'm not proud of. I remember when I was 9 and 10 and I cursed like a sailor. I never said it around my parents (back then, parents would have kicked our butt if they heard us curse) but at school, I had … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/25 04:40 AM |
| 11 | How do you do it- child support and alimony.Look, I know how you feel. I was married and my wife forced me to sleep in my car while she and the kids lived in the house that I owned and paid for. I was the bread winner and my relationship with her had gone down the tubes at that point. Anyway, you need to find ways to support yourself and take care of yourself. That means getting a side job or selling stuff on Ebay or Offerup or Facebook Marketplace. You have a phone. You have a car. I know what it is to be homeless and it sucks. Maybe mov… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/25 04:17 AM |
| 7 | It's done!Congrats! Why would you be annoyed with her being at her BF's apartment!? That dude is doing you a favor and taking her off of your hands! Win win! He's the sloppy seconds. Divorce for you, that's another win. Good luck to you and now it is time to focus on your kids and be the better parent. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 11:27 PM |
| 1 | Is my ex copying me out of jealousy?Seems like he is bothered by it. At this point, I could care less. My exwife is living in the house that I originally bought before we got married. Both my kids were born and raised in it. I spent 20 years of my life, lots of blood, definitely sweat and NO tears going into that house. When she decided to buy me out and keep the house, I signed those papers and never looked back. That house symbolized the crap that I put up with her over the 20 years of marriage. I can make NEW memories. The only… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/25 02:01 AM |
| 3 | Is my ex copying me out of jealousy?First things first. Does it bother you that she is copying you? Think of it as "emulating success". Regardless, why do you honestly care about what she is buying? She could go out and buy the same car, same dishes, same bed, same furniture. So what!? Let her. Don't be in a competition with her. You choose your own path and stay on it. Please don't be that parent who starts competing with their ex spouse for the affection of their children. Buying their love essentially. I remember being in 4th g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/04/25 03:55 PM |
| 9 | I think I'm finally 'getting over the hump'.That also means that you finally broke free of that "control" that she had over you too. You know that feeling, when she says something to make you swoon, or looks at you or bats those eyes. A woman's tool to manipulate you into doing what she wants you to do. My ex-wife was good at that. Play me. Once you realize that, then you get the power back. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/25 01:18 PM |
| 1 | Ex showed up with her new boyfriend to drop off our sonNo problem. You have to look at the positive side of things. Sure, it sucks right now and you are miserable but think about your future and the possibilities are endless. You may meet someone in the future that will truly make you happy and the past will be behind you. You worry about yourself and your son and your obligations to him. I have two sons myself and I could care less what their mother is doing with her free time. I am not obligated to her or her problems anymore. If she chooses to be… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/25 03:01 PM |
| 6 | Ex keeps asking for helpFirst things first, you still own the house? Are you divorced or going through one? It sounds to me that she lives there rent free? If you still have a stake in the house, it would be in your best interest to keep it up to date so that you can settle in court when it is time to sell or in some cases she buys you out or vice versa. If you still are responsible for the house even though you don't live there, I would get a Home Warranty service like Home Shield. They come and fix many of the common… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/25 02:28 AM |
| 11 | Got punched in the faceDid you take pictures of your shiner? If so, document the time, day and other information and call the police to file a police report. Even if they don't arrest her, you have documentation that you can give to your lawyer when you filed for divorce. This will help in your case when it comes when she is seeking spousal support from you. The courts frown on domestic violence towards spouses regardless of being a man or woman. This may also reduce or eliminate support all together. My ex-wife beat … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/25 10:44 PM |
| 3 | Ex showed up with her new boyfriend to drop off our sonMy kids are 20 and 21 now, they live with their mom but they come and go as they please. Thank you my friend. Still upright and staying positive. thanks for checking in with me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 12:56 PM |
| 1 | Ex showed up with her new boyfriend to drop off our sonDivorce can be dark and lonely if you make it that. I looked at it as a new beginning. I don't regret what I went through. I look back at it as a learning experience and a lesson. Sure hindsight is 20/20 but if I learned from my mistakes from my past and avoid it in the future, then my future is bright and optimistic. Kind of like when you graduated from high school. Your future was limitless and exciting. So is when you get a divorce. The possibilities. Fortunately, my kids are now grown up and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 12:04 PM |
| 6 | Ex showed up with her new boyfriend to drop off our sonNo worries my friend. My ex wife had emotional and physical control over me. That is why I was married to her for 20 years. I went through mental and physical abuse on a daily basis and she did everything she could do to break me. She got me thrown in jail and she tried to kill me a few times. She physically attacked me so many times and I went to the hospital multiple times. She tried to get me fired from my job, destroyed my car, emptied my retirement and the savings and even tossed all of my … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 05:23 AM |
| 2 | Ex showed up with her new boyfriend to drop off our sonMan, you to need to think really hard as to why you are divorced. It always takes two people. You sound like you blame yourself for the failed marriage. Maybe you messed up. Maybe you didn't. Only you know. But you need to get over crying over spilled milk. You need to take control over YOUR life now! Your ex-wife found a new man in her life. Fine. Good for her. So that is really not your problem. You need to focus on being the BEST parent for your daughter. I swear, your story sounds like the m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 04:59 AM |
| 14 | Ex showed up with her new boyfriend to drop off our sonFirst of all, why are you obsessing over the new BF? That BF is the sloppy seconds for your ex-wife. Also, look it like this, let the new man in her life deal with her crap and drama. He is doing you a favor! The guy never went through what you went through and he has no responsibility except to his looks, himself and his muscle car that he is over compensating for other things. He is only looking to get laid and sees your son as just merely an hindrance to his conquest. I don't understand how y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 04:49 AM |
| 3 | Advice for what to do BEFORE filing for divorceI live in SoCal and I just finished my divorce. I was in a similar situation as you. I moved out after she made up a story and got me arrested. After bailing out, my parents took me in and I have lived there ever since. As for your situation, I would call up various lawyers. They will offer a one time free meeting with you. After that, they will charge you a retainer of around $5k (that retainer will go pretty quick) If you do not want to go that route, I would see if you can seek a moderator to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/25 07:54 PM |
| 1 | Tough time this morningWell, I only have to pay $500 a month to her and I have NO child support payments. So I guess I have to look at it like that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/25 04:07 AM |
| 1 | Tough time this morningYou gotta think positive when the whole situation sucks. That's how I deal with life. Ask my ex wife, she is going to tell you the complete opposite. Oh wait, my ex would simply blame others and or would tell me that it was all my fault. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/25 06:58 PM |
| 2 | Tough time this morningWell, I was in an abusive relationship for 20 years with my ex wife. She was the abuser. I endured both physical and mental abuse the whole time. It was one of those things where it started it off a little to eventually evolving into a full blown, hate and anger kind of relationship. At the end, she hated me. She tried to kill me and she made it known that she didn't want to be in this relationship. So, for me, the emotions were basically apathetic and numbing at the same time. It was always a f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/25 06:49 PM |
| 1 | Tough time this morningWell, you are essentially paying to get rid of her, right!? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/25 06:26 PM |
| 5 | Tough time this morningIn California, here is how it goes: Short-Term Marriages: In short-term marriages (generally under 10 years), spousal support may be ordered for a period of time, often up to half the length of the marriage. Long-Term Marriages: In long-term marriages (10 years or more), spousal support may be ordered for a longer period, potentially indefinitely, depending on the circumstances | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/25 05:19 PM |
| 7 | Tough time this morningI live in California and my wife wanted to play hardball. She wanted the divorce and she didn't make it easy. She made it extremely difficult because she wanted me to suffer the whole time. We could have saved thousands if she wanted to mediate. She made unnecessary demands like keeping the house in exchange for me not paying spousal support. She wanted everything in the house (she got that), she wanted more spousal support then the amount we came up with, she tried to make changes once we had m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/25 04:54 PM |
| 3 | Not attracted to women my own age…To each their own I would say. I will tell you this, many woman in their 20s are not looking to settle down. I personally prefer women my own age either 3 years up or three years down. They can relate to me in terms of pop culture and experiences. I am 49 now and my girlfriend is 46. At this point in time, they are not looking to start a family, usually have a head on their shoulders, have a career or job, may or may not have kids (usually older too) and are not prone (in my experience) to play … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/25 11:31 PM |
| 9 | Oh gentlemen, how I hate my lifeSo tell me again why you HATE your life!? Your wife has basically checked out of the marriage. She is either talking to someone else and is planning to cheat or is already cheating. She is probably going to use that lame excuse, "well, I just feel like I need to find myself or that we drifted apart" Take it as a sign that you need to start looking at divorce. So why are you blaming yourself? We all have choices in life and she chose to leave. Honestly, I don't want to come off sounding like a d#… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/25 01:16 PM |
| 2 | Amicable divorce after 22 year marriage with 3 kids - serious question…To add insult to injury, whatever I had in my possession was thrown out. She threw away all of my yearbooks, clothes, anything and everything from my childhood. She hated me so much that she cleaned it all out as if I were dead. Apparently I was dead to her while we were married. Oh, and she did that WHILE I was still living in the house and we were still married. It got to the point in our marriage that she hated me so much, she messed up my car rendering it inoperable and she was so sick and t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/25 10:09 PM |
| 1 | Amicable divorce after 22 year marriage with 3 kids - serious question…My ex took it one step farther. While we were married, she cut my face out of ALL of the family pictures including the baby pictures of my kids. There were no pictures of me in the house, like I was erased from the history. Later, when we would take pictures, I was only allowed to take pictures with my kids in the photo with me. Never alone. She didn't want me posting pictures of myself online (not that she would allow me to do that anyway) to let anyone or everyone that I was "single". Crazy wi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/25 05:24 PM |
| 2 | Amicable divorce after 22 year marriage with 3 kids - serious question…I reflect now and honestly it was a textbook abusive relationship. It started out great but it evolved into flat out abuse. I ignored the early warning signs while we were dating. Her getting angry when I talked to friends of the opposite sex and even people I associated with. I was blind to it all because I was in love and felt that I had found THE ONE. We found out that she was pregnant and I did what most men do, the right thing and married her. The controlling and the manipulation would take… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/25 04:05 PM |
| 2 | Amicable divorce after 22 year marriage with 3 kids - serious question…I was married for 20 years. In that time, she threw away the wedding pictures in the first year of marriage because she got pissed off at me. All of the cards and love letters were thrown away by her and any and ALL gifts that my ex-wife gave came with "conditions" which meant that if I pissed her off whether it was a day later or a month later, she wanted the gift she gave me, back. I just set it aside and simply handed it back to her when she demanded it back. My ex felt that I didn't deserve … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/25 02:23 PM |
| 1 | Should I tell my ex-wife’s family the truth about why we separated?First of all, you need to let her go. She is emotionally cheating with that coworker while you were together. It is the same thing as physically cheating. Cheating is cheating. As for your in laws. Are you still friends or close to them to begin with? If not, then I would cut the cord. Her family knows what kind of person she is. If she is talking crap about you to them, well, you don't need more drama in your life. Take the high road. You don't need to explain yourself to them. She is the one w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/25 04:16 AM |
| 1 | Losing everythingHopefully this is rock bottom for you. How about this? I was married for 20 years in a physical and mentally abusive relationship with my wife. The final straw is when I was thrown in jail for a made up charge by my ex-wife. The same day I bailed out, I went to my house with a police escort and my parents to get my stuff and move out. I filed for divorce, actually she had filed it three years before and never served me. It would be two long years of going through the process, cost me $25k, went … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/25 05:50 AM |
| 11 | She PlottedApparently your wife was pulling the shade over your head. She may have already met someone as well. I did my 20 years too but my wife was the opposite, she made it known what she was doing. I lived in an abusive relationship and dealt with the mental and physical violence on me. The final straw was when she got me arrested on a trumped up charge and I spent the night in jail. Game over for me. I was tired of the abuse and it was the best thing I ever did. I spent over $25k in legal fees and spe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/25 03:32 AM |
| 3 | Wife had an affairYour son is 18 and probably has a good grasp on things. Sit down with him and tell him what is going on. It is your choice about whether you want to disclose that his mom was cheating on you. Tell him that things are going to be changing and that he should focus on his school and his future. He's not a kid anymore. I'm sure he is doing "adult" things when he is away at college. Trust me, you were that age. Did you really focus on your parents when you were away from them. I know I was pretty abs… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/11/24 02:34 AM |
| 2 | It’s been over 2 years and I still can’t seem to move onIts because she has you wrapped around her finger. She is a master manipulator around everyone. Almost like a con artist. She is a narcissist and she is just playing you. When you finally decide to see past this "mirage" then you can move on. You should read exactly what you just wrote carefully. You see the signs but refuse to admit that she is playing you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/24 11:43 AM |
| 1 | What to do when you know divorce is imminent?That would be my answer as well. Besides, Porn doesn't: get jealous. Doesn't ask who I was talking to. Doesn't care if I look at "other women". And doesn't ask for my opinion on anything. Doesn't start fights. Doesn't ask if this makes her look fat. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 04:56 PM |
| 1 | What to do when you know divorce is imminent?I would tell my ex wife's new boyfriend, "Good luck my friend, I wouldn't wish her on any of my worst enemies. You are a better man than me. I wish you luck." | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 04:52 PM |
| 1 | What to do when you know divorce is imminent?I have something to top that, my ex-wife would hold on to my phone to see if texts would come in. I didn't have a smart phone and she insisted on me having a flip phone. My ex and the kids had the latest Iphone and I was stuck with a flip phone! When I was living there, my ex installed cameras INSIDE and outside the house to keep tabs on ME. She had it facing the outside street. By this time, we were sleeping in different rooms. In fact, she made me sleep on the floor in the living room. She had… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 12:38 PM |
| 1 | What to do when you know divorce is imminent?So she is giving you an out. Take it. I got to the point in my marriage that I said I don't care. Good. If she cheated on me, then she is doing me a favor. Let the other guy take that craziness away. I mean, if she was making me unhappy, then let her be happy with someone else. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want me? Besides, my ex was a crazy, jealous, narcissist who was prone to violence and emotional instability. That guy could have her! Take her off my hands. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 12:26 PM |
| 1 | What to do when you know divorce is imminent?So she was projecting all along!? I guess she wanted to feel justified by accusing you of doing the same thing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 11:27 AM |
| 2 | What to do when you know divorce is imminent?The more it sounds like my relationship minus the abuse. The accusations was crazy. My ex would question me if I was two minutes late. She would instantly think I was cheating on her. I couldn't walk at the mall without her thinking I was staring (she would feel that staring was considered "flirting with the eyes" too). I learned that I had to walk with my eyes to the ground so that I didn't give her the impression that I wanted to look at other women and get their attention. I wasn't allowed to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/24 09:24 PM |
| 5 | What to do when you know divorce is imminent?How old are your kids? I went through the same thing and my ex wife reminded me EVERYDAY that she regretted the day she ever met me. She even said that she regretted ever having kids with me as well. We were both unhappy, she more than me. I just put up with it and we coexisted. (I am really sugar coating this) but we would have some knock out drag out fights. Everything bothered her and we couldn't have a civil conversation without it ending in yelling. We did this in front of the kids (which I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/24 12:53 PM |
| 11 | Your going to be ok !!I am with you my brother. I am in the same boat as you. My wife took everything....including my 401k. The only thing is, I am not shedding a tear, no crying for me. Just celebrating the fact that I am free from the toxicity and the negative environment my crazy ex wife subjected me to for 20 years of marriage and 24 years together. I have two boys whom I cherish and in less than a months time (fingers crossed) she will have bought me out of OUR house that we shared for 21 years. Am I going to mi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 02:31 AM |
| 5 | Checked her social mediaThat's one way to look at it. The other way is to look at it in a positive sense. Your cheating ex did you a favor. Why would you want to be with someone who supposedly loves you and made a committment to spend the rest of their life with you, then breaks her vows and betrays you!? How long were you married? I was married for 20 years, together for 24. Our relationship got angry and bitter at the end. I used to think like that way back then. Angry, sad, and jealous. Now, I don't care. I don't wa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 04:52 AM |
| 5 | It's official, ouchWho better to vent to strangers, right? Nah, better you vent to everyone here rather than doing something rash and doing something that you will regret later. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 10:17 PM |
| 2 | It's official, ouchIts not the end of the world. Think about when you were young and your parents got a divorce. How did you deal with the break up? Put yourself in those shoes again and how you handled your emotions, anger, and sadness. Now that your kids are going to be experiencing the same situation, think about how you would have done it differently and apply it to them. You live and you learn. Now it is time to apply this to your kids so that they don't have to go with what you went through. How is your life… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 09:28 PM |
| 1 | Divorce just got fucking awsomeThank you my friend and I am not judging. I guess it is different when kids are involved. As a parent, I have to look out for them and still make choices that the "responsible" parent needs to do and not what my crazy ex wife who has checked out as a parent has done. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 04:22 PM |
| 1 | Post-trial report, a phyricc victory and why courtrooms cannot deliver justiceIt can be but regardless, the money that I paid to get out of my marriage and divorce that followed was money well spent. I am free. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 04:18 PM |
| 2 | Just feeling betrayed and heartbrokenTalk to her and find out what BOTH of you want out of your relationship. Mine was too far gone and she had lost all respect for me. My ex-wife never appreciates anything I did and blamed me for EVERYTHING. She was toxic and her generosity towards me and to anyone else had strings attached. Nothing was ever a gift with her. She would even ask for it back. So if you can work it out and talk, then maybe you can be happy again and enjoy being a family with you and your three kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 03:44 PM |
| 7 | Divorce just got fucking awsomeGood for you! To each their own. I got out of a 20 year marriage and that is the last thing on my mind. I have two grown men now (19 and 20) and me entering any meaningless thing would just stress me out. I know my boys are old enough and mature enough but as a father and their DAD, I need to set an example for them and for myself. I did all of my "playing days" in my early 20s and honestly I don't wish to revisit that. Sure it was fun but when I am in my late 40s, dating a 19 or 20ish "girl" (b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 03:35 PM |
| 6 | Post-trial report, a phyricc victory and why courtrooms cannot deliver justiceHere is my story: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ftf5yr/domestic_violence_happens_to_married_men_too/ | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 06:17 AM |
| 6 | Post-trial report, a phyricc victory and why courtrooms cannot deliver justiceSounds like you ex wife and my ex wife could have been twin sisters. Same attitude and same results. Except I was subjected to physical, emotional and mental abuse from her for 20 years of our marriage. I was always accused of things that I didn't do. The cops came to our house over 20 times for arguments and her attempts to get me kicked out of the house. She tried to kill me numerous times and she made up stories to get me in trouble and paint a picture that I was the unstable one. The final s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 06:12 AM |
| 7 | Just feeling betrayed and heartbrokenSorry to hear that. I feel for you. I am at that point in my life (48/m) where I used to need closure but now I don't really care to know. My teenage and early 20s, I want was the jealous type and worried about pleasing that person. After 20 years of marriage 24 years together, and newly divorced after 2 years of legal battles, I am at point where I could care less. I want to be in a relationship where the woman WANTS to be with me and not HAS to be with me. If she cheats or wants to leave becau… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 05:30 AM |
| 1 | I made every wrong move snd trapped me into an agreementWell, my ex-wife had called so many times over the years that when there was an issue when the police was needed to come by (not for ME) she told them to meet down the street so that the neighbors wouldn't think we were at it again. That is sad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 10:54 PM |
| 2 | Looking for support/ advice/VentingTread lightly my friend. I was served a TRO before by my ex-wife and I was adhering to the terms. She asked me to come home so we could talk and it turned out to be an argument. She was pissed off at me and I left. She called the cops saying that I came by and "started" it. The police ended up calling me that I needed to stay away and I complied. My ex-wife was pissed that I wasn't arrested and called the police station and talked to their supervisor and caused a scene. The police called me back… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 02:07 AM |
| 1 | According to study, “Women with divorced girlfriends are more likely to divorce themselves.”I would disagree. How about a woman who has very few friends and they are all still married? How about her parents, and 4 out 9 of her siblings (and now her) being divorced and remarried? I guess my ex wife trumped that study. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 01:46 AM |
| 2 | I made every wrong move snd trapped me into an agreementI didn't and she claimed that she spent it all on the three cars that she bought that year. The funds were transmitted from my financial manager to my checking account. She cleaned me out over the course of two years. I paid taxes on early withdrawal (no pun intended). She cashed it out and hoarded it. Lets just say I would have hated if someone robbed us. More for the robbers because my ex-wife is psycho and nobody would have escaped the house alive. I never worried for her safety because she i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 01:41 AM |
| 6 | Pre-trial recommendations from the judgeSounds better than having to pay alimony for life. I was married 20 years and after 10 years, you pay alimony for life until your ex spouse dies or gets remarried (which I'm sure most women will not do). I had to leave my ex-wife on my life insurance and it went from her being the benefactor to being split three ways between her and my two kids. My ex-wife TOOK all the contents of the house and the judge ordered us to sell the house and split the profit evenly. I don't make anything close to wha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 11:16 PM |
| 1 | Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24It all depends on your situation with you STBX. Do you get along? Are you civil with her? Vice versa. My relationship was violent and the last two years of my marriage was less violent because I had a restraining order on her that kept her in check. I was married for 20 years, together for 24. I have 2 kids who are older now. If it is a violent or combative situation, I would say, get out and look for another place to live. If you have to leave the house, do you have family or friends where you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 10:56 PM |
| 1 | I made every wrong move snd trapped me into an agreementWith threats and pressuring me until I gave in. Keep in my mind that my ex wife is great at coercion and manipulation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 08:38 PM |
| 5 | I made every wrong move snd trapped me into an agreementIf you know this is the end of your divorce,open up a new checking account in your name. Note that she withdrew $20k because those are considered joint family assets at the time of separation. Start putting your money in the new account. I agree with another reader when they said use your credit card. Make sure she doesn't have access to it because she could charge it up and max it out. Note the day of separation and the courts will use that as the official date. Start texting her or emailing he… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 03:27 PM |
| 1 | After divorce living situation?I have been living with my parents which is 85 miles from my house where my kids live with their mom. I have been going through this divorce for 2 years. I am paying for ALL of the bills while my ex-wife gets to live at the house for free. My boys are living there too. They are both in college so I don't have to pay child support but it is a wash since I have to pay for their car repairs, insurance and school that is not covered by college financial aid. You would think I am saving money but I a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 03:12 AM |
| 3 | How do you move on with life while divorce?Well, if you are miserable right now, I feel for you. But honestly, she is gas lighting you. She is making you feel like you are a horrible person, a lousy father, husband, provider etc. She probably is blaming you for everything, am I right? Honestly she is playing on your insecurities, maybe your fears. And you know what?, She is in your head right now. Making you feel like S*@t right now, not wanting you to be happy, not wanting you to live, not wanting you to do anything. You probably think … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/24 01:40 AM |
| 1 | Separation arrangements. I need your opinion/advice please.I have two grown kids. And yes, every issue you mentioned happened to me. But fortunately, I survived and am finally divorced from this toxic person. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/24 10:08 PM |
| 1 | Separation arrangements. I need your opinion/advice please.That advice is fine for some but in my case, I had a 2 year restraining order with no negative contact. My ex-wife was prone to violence and she made it known before I got it on her that she would resort to that. Living in the same house with her during that time was hard. Better than before but she was constantly arguing with me, recording our arguments and starting arguments over trivial things. She called the cops on me about 4 times trying to make sure it was documented for her to use agains… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/24 02:57 PM |
| 9 | My wife is leaving meEssentially it could be two things. #1 She met someone else or has become interested in someone else or #2 You just fell into the "Friend Zone". Whatever the reason, you are going to be seen as a "roommate" if you choose to stay in the relationship. I know how you feel. I was married 20 years, together 24 years. She WAS my best friend but things evolved and not for the positive. She lost all respect for me over the last 5 years of our marriage before we were seperated and eventually divorced. No… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/24 09:08 PM |
| 3 | Grounds for divorce? My wife left me stranded with no resources besides my cell phoneMy ex wife had a tendency to this and had no second thoughts about doing it. She told me that she had done it to a guy before she met me. They had gotten into an argument on road trip in Texas. She got pissed at him and while he went to sleep at their hotel, she simply left the guy there. He ended up taking a bus home and was 500 miles away from home. Fast forward to me. She was already a toxic person and she wanted COMPLETE control over me. She always felt that I was cheating on her (which I ne… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 01:04 PM |
| 1 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooProbably tired of it. Tired of my life with her. I wanted to see how far she would go. She probably would have killed me. I was tired of the abuse. It was to the point that she made feel like I was nothing and to that point I felt like I was nothing. The negative reinforcement had gotten to me. She used to always tell me, "You act like an animal, I will treat you like one..." Well, I guess I was acting like an animal.... | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 04:42 AM |
| 12 | Grounds for divorce? My wife left me stranded with no resources besides my cell phoneMy ex-wife did that to me, OFTEN. In 2019, she left me stranded somewhere, anywhere, and in the middle of no where. I put up with it until she left me about 40 miles away, 2 counties over. I decided I had enough. She left me with no money, wallet, no ID, or phone. At least you were at your family's house. The worst one was when she left me 38 miles from home and I ended up walking home. It took me 12 hours, crossed three counties, and had no ID, phone or money. I actually had a heat stroke and p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 04:38 AM |
| 11 | Ex wife got arrested tonightShe had called the cops on me so many times to get me kicked out but the police would tell her that it was also my house too so they could not forcibly remove me. My situation was downright toxic. I haven't set foot in my old house in 2 years. The final straw was her making up a story to the police that I hit her and based on that evidence, had me arrested. After my parents bailed me out, I called the police (keep the peace) to escort me into my house and got my stuff and moved out. I filed anot… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/24 01:18 PM |
| 7 | Ex wife got arrested tonightShe had called the cops on me so many times to get me kicked out but the police would tell her that it was also my house too so they could not forcibly remove me. My situation was downright toxic. I haven't set foot in my old house in 2 years. The final straw was her making up a story to the police that I hit her and based on that evidence, had me arrested. After my parents bailed me out, I called the police (keep the peace) to escort me into my house and got my stuff and moved out. I filed anot… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/24 01:18 PM |
| 5 | Ex wife got arrested tonightShe was calling my parents cell phone and texting my Mom. Fortunately she has a Mac Book so I was texting her through that and was able to transcribe the conversation. Used that info as evidence for the restraining order. My ex-wife actually cancelled my service on my phone and was holding on to my phone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/24 01:00 PM |
| 34 | Ex wife got arrested tonightMy ex-wife pulled the same stunt when she had dropped me off in the middle of no where while we were married. She left me 40 miles from home with no wallet, cell phone, with just the clothes on my back. I found a cell phone store and used it to call my parents who were out of town on vacation. I reached out to my sister in law and she came to pick me up. I stayed at their house. In the meantime, my ex-wife filed a missing persons report on me just in case I were to turn up dead on the roadside. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/24 11:41 AM |
| 10 | Does the silence ever get to you?Silence is golden. It's only broken when my ex wife texts or emails me demanding money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/24 02:02 AM |
| 0 | She has 2 dating profiles and we are still living under the same roof.I was in the same situation. The last two years of my marriage (when I was living in the house with her and my two boys), my wife had checked out of our marriage. We were essentially roommates at the time. My ex-wife hated my guts. Constantly yelling at me and arguing over trivial crap. She used to attack me or be rate constantly but I was awarded a 2 year restraining order so she couldn't do that. She would call the cops on me and try to get me kicked out and by that time she started to openly … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/24 11:34 AM |
| 1 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooBelieve me the BS continues.... my ex-wife never ceases to amaze me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 04:43 AM |
| 1 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooWhat I am trying to convey is that I would try to egg her on. That was messed up on my part alot of time after she struck me. That is what I meant. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 04:31 AM |
| 3 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooI appreciate life more when you have nothing. Hitting rock bottom and being at the lowest point in my life is always humbling. The great thing about life is that you live and learn. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 01:22 PM |
| 2 | She want alimony included in prenupSounds like you are signing up for a marriage of convenience and business. I would sign a prenup if you have assets and have alot of money already. Does she? Are you also going to be splitting the bills in half and have separate checking accounts too? Wow, I would say no thanks. But I am sure she is going to run a tight ship and probably analyze all of your expenditures. Micromanage your time, schedule and how you should think and act. Get where I am going with that? Read my story and you may wa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 01:19 PM |
| 2 | I feel like damaged goodsWho cares? The point is that you are meeting new people. If they are going to judge, then obviously you should keep moving on. A true friend, the right woman, etc won't care and not assume that it was you. Besides, you should be at that point in your life where you should stop worrying about what other people think. This isn't high school. You live your life. You can't control whatever people think or what they say and when you grasp that idea, then you will make your life much smoother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 01:12 PM |
| 3 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men Toothanks for your support. Easy for someone to cast stones until he is in the same situation | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 12:10 PM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooI'm just curious if you ever fell hard for someone? Maybe they told you everything you wanted to hear to stroke your ego. Women are great at doing that. Maybe she is hot. Maybe you like that she has an opinion, she's independent, and she doesn't take crap from anyone. She's just one of the guys and she becomes your best friend. Maybe you enjoy being around her and makes you feel like you are on cloud nine. Maybe you thought she was the ONE. You take her home to your parents and she is the perfec… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 12:08 PM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooShe is with them right now. They are 19 and 20 in college but my oldest one is at home. She is trying to buy me out and now she is floating the idea of charging my oldest son rent of $800 a month and laying out a plan to get me to pay that using guilt even though I am only obligated to pay $500 a month in spousal support. Even now after my divorce is final, she is trying to manipulate me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 11:42 AM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooI appreciate that and likewise to you for what you had to go through. The thing about my ex was that it didn't happen overnight. It was over the course of years. Sure there was anger, any little thing could set her off. Mostly yelling but then it evolved. Couple that with insecurity and then she started showing her real colors afterwards. She had pure hate for me. But by then I was in too deep. Raising two kids, mortgage and the only one working. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 11:38 AM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooThe house is in both our names. So it is 50/50. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 07:04 PM |
| 3 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooThank you my friend. I am at peace. I don't live under her thumb anymore so that is the ultimate freedom. Let her be another man's reckoning. Good luck to that guy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 04:54 PM |
| 5 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooI felt like I had no where to go. By that point, my ex-wife was gas lighting me to the point where I was convinced that there wasn't a better alternative. She was the one pulling the wool over the eyes. She had isolated me from my family at that point. I didn't want to tell my parents or family that I was a failure or my marriage was in shambles. It was kind of like putting on a fake face to show the world that I was something when in fact I felt like I was nothing. A good manipulator can do tha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 04:48 PM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooThere is no fixing her. She is broken and there is no guy who will want to or can fix her. She is crazy, lacks any sympathy, or empathy, neurotic, self centered, egotistical, narcissistic and jealous....did I mention angry? And prone to violence? Did I tell you that she doesn't even drink? She does this sober. So no excuses there. She is a powder keg. I did my 24 years and 20 years of marriage with her. No going back to that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 02:53 PM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooI did that a couple of times and I got the business end of her knee to the groin. About three times. Nothing says loving like a wife giving you a "love tap" to the family jewels. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 02:48 PM |
| 1 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooMaybe I am messed in the head, but I would egg her on. I wanted to test her to see how much I could take. Like a prizefighter. I had tons of bruises on me, cuts, scrapes. She once choked me out with a phone cord when I was sleeping. If it were anyone else, I would have fought back. Maybe that is on me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 02:43 PM |
| 1 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooMy ex-wife has always accused me of being in relationships with women. All of it made up in her mind. In 2012, she accused me of being in a relationship with some woman that I didn't know and she was interrogating me. She ended up smashing a ceramic piggy bank over the back of my head and I knew at that moment to get the hell out of there. She tried to keep me there and I fought her off. Apparently she had scratches on her arm from me fighting her off to get out of the house. I left the house an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 02:39 PM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooThanks for hearing me out. It seems like men don't have a voice when they try to speak out about it. I think it happens more then people think. It sucks. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 02:25 PM |
| 1 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooMy boys are adults now but living with their mom at the house that I own. She is trying to buying me out. Great that I will the money to start my life over but she throws a little wrench into the machine by telling me that she will be charging them rent and since they go to college, that I can start paying $800 each for them to rent out their room. How about that for adding insult to injury? A money grab that is no surprise for me. I have to pay alimony and she thinks she can get more out of me … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 02:23 PM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooI just looked at her and thought... "Delusions of grandeur" | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 07:15 AM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooMy ex was a master manipulator. She can be sweet, charmer and gets her way. She knows how to play the game. She can play the victim like a master including shedding crocodile tears on command. She used to say, "I am better than you and I better than everyone. The only person who is better than me is Jesus" | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 07:15 AM |
| 3 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooDA dropped the charges. That pissed her off too. But I filed a restraining order on her and won. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 07:06 AM |
| 3 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooMy therapy is telling this to anyone who wants to hear it. To hide it in shame is to deny that it happened. I want to tell anyone and everyone because it happens to men and it is not reported as widely as when it happens to women. My ex-wife is the perfect narcissist and projection is her mental weapon. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 07:04 AM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooMy parents and friends would tell me but i didn't want to listen. I was "in love". I was gas lighted enough to think that that was normal behavior. She would say sorry after it was all said and done and I was stupid enough to accept her lame apology. She would always say, look I want you to change. You need to grow up. Stop acting like a kid. My boys are grown up and our divorce was filed on their 18th birthday. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 06:57 AM |
| 3 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooTrue, she is going to buy me out. After I get my half, I am going to go out and buy a house. I promised them that they would always have a safe place with me. My boys are 19 and 20 now so they are pretty independent. My ex-wife may end up like her mom. Alone. Bitter and Toxic. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 06:46 AM |
| 5 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooI'm sorry to hear that. The final straw in my marriage was when we were arguing. I was sitting down on the floor organizing the cabinets and she turns on her phone to audio record the conversation. She stands over me and starts arguing and pointing her finger in my face (about an inch from my face) I told her three times to stop putting her hands in my face and my natural instinct when anyone is putting their hands in my face is to push it away. She dramatically says, "Oh my gosh, you hit me. I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 06:43 AM |
| 4 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooShe would berate me in front of the kids. Tell them what a loser their dad was to their face while I was still in the room. They would stand up for me and tell her to shut up. She got in a couple of fights with them too. My boys fought back though unlike me. My son punched her in the face after she hit him over the head with a picture frame. My boys are tough and take no crap from her. My wife has no qualms about throwing anyone under the bus including her own kids. She called the police on my o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 06:31 AM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooI didn't get my first "smartphone" until 2022. I had a flip phone for over 12 years because she didn't want me to have internet access. And I was beaten with a cell phone. Cut me under the eye, gave me a black eye and was covered in blood. Not fun. I had never been in a fist fight before (even had bullies in school too) until got married. Nothing spells love when the person who supposedly says she loves you sucker punches you in the face. (she did that do me when I was driving on the freeway). I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 06:21 AM |
| 2 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooBoth my boys are in college, they both got their real estate licenses at 18 and hopefully get their degrees in a couple of years. They live with their mom at the house that I pay for. I live at my parents house until we sell the house. And speaking of which, I pay ALL of the bills right now. She lives there for free. To add insult to injury, she tried to go after me for child support AFTER my youngest son turned 18. Even though I pay for all the bills, she wants more! She barely got a job and no… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 06:07 AM |
| 3 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooMy kids are what kept me going. My boys turned out to be responsible men and I am proud of them. That was my ultimate reward for my sacrifice. I made it out alive to tell others. That is my therapy. If I can help someone who had a bad experience and suffered abuse at the hands of their wife, then it was all worth it. I am not mad or bitter. I endured and I am now in better health and I have a strong family support who welcomed me back. I had been cut off from most of my family for over 20 years … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 06:00 AM |
| 3 | Domestic Violence Happens to Married Men TooIt is real. I lived it. I have the scars inside and out. What I have written is just a small fraction of what happened. Like I said before, I couldn't make this stuff up. You know how some abusers like to hit you or beat you and usually in places that it would not show? My ex wife used to scratch my face with her nails and try to dig as deep as she could. I looked like Freddy Kruger slashed my face. She wanted everyone to see what she did to me as a way to shame me. She even shaved my head like … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 05:53 AM |
| 5 | FuriousYour situation sucks and I am sorry for you. But would you rather be stuck in a relationship with all of the fighting and yelling and putting your daughter in a toxic environment for most of her childhood? She may go through the rest of her life with "trust and anger issues" and you and the wife did not do her any favors. So, better to break it off sooner rather than later. My boys have only known yelling and anger coming from their mom who directed it on me for 20 years. I have been living at m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 01:55 AM |
| 10 | Separating and Divorcing after 20+ years, worried about getting back in the dating game after so long...I was in the same boat as you two years ago. I got separated in September of 2022 and finally got officially divorced on September 1st of this year. I have been out of the dating game for over 20 years. Honestly, I never considered any dating apps or bars or clubs. I just wanted to be left alone and maybe spend the rest of my life single and focused on my boys. But as fate would have it, I met someone about two months after I got separated. I met her the old fashioned way, in person. Actually no… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 01:39 AM |
| 6 | My ex hates my gutsFirst and foremost, I stayed because I was protecting my boys from her. My ex wife is a narcissist who is prone to violence. Second, when you are in an abusive relationship, many times they will prey on your insecurities. Gas lighting, using threats and guilt is a common thing used to keep you there. MY ex wife is a text book abuser. She checked off all of the boxes. It started off slowly until she had full control. When I mean full control: no communication with my family (outside of her and my… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/24 11:32 AM |
| 11 | My ex hates my gutsI feel for you my friend. My divorce took two years and over $25k in legal fees. Why? She wanted to drag it out and make me suffer. She fought me at every turn. Her lawyers never responded back to mine. She ended up going through three of them! She lived at my house with my kids and she never paid a damn bill! She even had the audacity to try to file for child support...even though my youngest son had turned 18 a month afterwards. I was forced to live with my parents who lived 85 miles away. Let… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/24 04:20 AM |
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