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EssayDesperate Archive

View 7 posts and 101 comments by EssayDesperate on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Exactly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:12 AM
3

Thank you for the advice! That’s what i think. Even if he actually loves me and care, he has no right to manipulate me just to get what he wants. It’s really toxic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:11 AM
2

Thank you for the advice! I highly doubt he’s aware that he needs help. If he got help nothing would change. I’m an empath for sure. I keep blaming myself for being naive but i was 18 years old and he was manipulating me all the time. I feel so used rethinking what he did to me and how he saw me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 10:36 PM
3

Thank you for the advice! The part about addiction makes sense. That’s why i started thinking maybe he’s a sex addict. If he doesn’t get what he wants then it drives him crazy and it pushes him to try again and again until it finally works. I think he lacks power because he tries to act like the most powerful guy in the room. He is not self-aware of it based on our fights. I have also noticed that he gains some sort of relief after sex. He usually gets up immediately and isn’t into cuddling afte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 10:23 PM
14

People often describe him as egoistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:57 PM
8

Oh yeah, now that i think about it sexual abuse is the right term to describe it. I’ve also been told by my friend that he’s abusing me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:56 PM
4

It hasn’t changed and probably it was always like that. I don’t think a normal person acts this way when you say no. Especially someone you’ve been in a relationship with for 3 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:53 PM
4

Thank you! Yeah, i was confused whether it was really an addiction. I think a lot of people use it as a way to feel better about themselves but i never got why he made me feel so badly. At some point it felt like a chore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:43 PM
12

Thank you for the advice! That is messed up. It makes sense because i feel like he doesn’t enjoy it sometimes. He just uses it as a way to feel better. And if he doesn’t get that, it drives him crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:42 PM
1

Thank you so much for your advice! Definitely feels like the right think to do. I don’t think it’s possible to avoid running in to him because we have classes together. Even when i do though, i will try to act calm and avoid talking to him in any way. I told my good friend about the pictures but we live in a smaller town so if he leaks them even people i barely talk to are gonna know it’s me. I don’t think i need a weapon because he would never do anything to hurt me that way. A good friend of m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 10:32 AM
3

I’m definitely considering leaving. Enough is enough. Thank you and hugs back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:17 PM
2

Yeah, took a lot of trying to change some things to figure that out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:09 PM
2

I keep asking myself how could he be a 26 year old guy and still act like a child. He has tried many manipulative tactics on me because i was naive and not aware. I’m just starting to realize what he’s up to. He has no respect and love for me if he’s acting like this. Instead of apologizing or making things better, he’s giving me the silent treatment. Couldn’t get any lower.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:08 PM
2

When he first did this to me, i called him. It was driving me insane. He said ‘i was waiting for you to call because if you didn’t things would have gotten worse with time’. I had no clue how fucked what he said was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:04 PM
2

He was my first real boyfriend so i didn’t have any experience or someone to compare him to. It was really difficult not knowing what he‘s doing but i’m finally starting see it. And you’re right! He acts like a little baby. No emotional intelligence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:01 PM
2

At this point nothing at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:59 PM
2

I have figured that there’s no way i can change someone who doesn’t want to change. They’ll go back to their old manipulative selves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:59 PM
2

Yep, he’s probably sitting by the phone, waiting for me to feed his ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:58 PM
3

I’m considering not speaking to him ever again. Especially for the fact that he can go a day without speaking to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:57 PM
3

I’m still a newbie and i just learned about the handbook. I’ve been dealing with so much drama but i’m definitely going to read it. Thank you for your advice! I hope i can get there as soon as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:56 PM
3

I’m not even crying or feeling sad at this point. I was so sad during our entire relationship that i’ve had enough and i’m tired of this BS. I feel like we broke up weeks ago because of how lonely i’ve been feeling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:55 PM
0

I wish !!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:52 PM
2

I’m trying to figure out whether i should just stop speaking to him since he’s so prideful. It’s really crazy because if i say something he’ll definitely blame it on me, just cause i’m not giving him what he wants (apologizing).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:51 PM
3

Thank you for your advice! I didn’t recognize it either until a friend told me what he was doing. I would apologize so easily without being guilty because it would drive me insane, thinking i lost him. Now that i know what he’s doing, i’m trying to stay calm and not give him what he wants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:49 PM
5

I’m asking myself that very question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 08:46 PM
2

Thank you for the advice! We don’t live together thankfully. I owe him nothing and i don’t have anything to return. We share classes together though and we live in a smaller town so it’s going to be really difficult to avoid him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 03:54 PM
2

Thank you! I will definitely read it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 11:39 AM
1

I do that a lot. He called me ‘a bitch’ twice and i said to myself he’s not physically abusive. I wish i knew he was emotionally abusive. Thank you! I will check it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:50 AM
1

I’m done. I’m not going to text him because that’s what he wants. I’m not going to cave. If he doesn’t text me it just makes things easier, i’ll never talk to him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:46 AM
2

Me too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:44 AM
4

I just mentioned again that he shouldn’t do this. He tried to blame it on me (like always). When i said don’t even bother, he replied with ‘okay.’ and just disappeared. I wish he could apologize like a normal grown up human instead of ignoring me this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 11:55 PM
1

I don’t even want to believe someone could be so messed up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:51 PM
3

Thank you! Even if they were my age i would obviously mind. But it wouldn’t be as creepy. I felt really insecure when i realized that i’m not his type, not even close. Him calling them hot was the worst thing he could do. It was hurtful and disrespectful. He could’ve kept it to himself if he cared about my feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:49 PM
10

Literally holes to be used. If he really cared, he would’ve deleted a post about milfs when i told him it bothered me so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:43 PM
1

I’m asking myself that very question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:35 PM
1

I can’t even bother with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:01 PM
1

That is so weird... wtf? I would freak out. I’m glad you moved on and got over it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:00 PM
4

Oh my god, i can’t believe this. He told me from the beginning who he was and what his intention is. I was naive and trusting so i chose to ignore it all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:59 PM
2

He’s dominant and controlling, definitely. This gives him the power he has.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:56 PM
2

It feels like a hostage situation, definitely!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:56 PM
3

Wow, this is actually a really great advice! I have noticed that i’m taking too long processing my feelings, therefore i’m tolerating his toxic behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:55 PM
3

I feel both guilt and obligation... it sucks! He really is toxic and manipulative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:07 PM
4

Thank you so much! Everyone is telling me to just break up and immediately block him. I tried to break up with him in person before but he started playing the victim and changed my mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:06 PM
7

This is so weird to me... i can’t believe someone is capable of doing these horrible things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:04 PM
2

Aw thank you so much! These comments are helping me gain a lot of perspective and see that it’s not me being sensitive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:03 PM
13

True. He just doesn’t care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:43 PM
3

He knows i can tolerate so much and that’s why he does this. I doubt anyone else would tolerate this much... Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:36 PM
3

I think he was raised in that kind of mentality but i always try to explain his behavior so maybe you could be right. I honestly don’t know if he did because he never mentioned it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:33 PM
2

I totally agree! It was always like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:03 PM
3

That’s so true! I keep asking myself that same question...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:02 PM
10

Thank you so much for your words! I hope i finally make the right decision and let go of this person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:29 PM
3

When he posted a milf meme and i told him that it was disrespectful i thought he was going to delete it which he didn’t. I shouldn’t have to tell him to do that... it’s common sense. Another comment was about him being a man child which i totally agree with. He acts like a three year old and doesn’t have any emotional intelligence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:27 PM
2

Ouch... it’s so hard to accept this but you’re right. No wonder why he always makes me feel insecure and weak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:17 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:16 PM
7

I’m starting to realize that he’s never going to change. I told him a million times not to do something because it’s hurtful and he put the blame on me. They never change!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:15 PM
0

Yeah, i do that. I make excuses even though he treats me badly. I’m afraid of change, that’s why things stay the same and i make those excuses. Deep down i know you’re right. I keep saying he did this fucked up thing but it didn’t go as far as it could’ve so it’s okay. Thank you for the advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:14 PM
5

That’s so true! I always end up feeling guilty and obligated. I find it hard to say no at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:41 PM
0

I doubt he has mommy issues. He has a great relationship with his mom. He has a sister as well and loves them both. I feel like they have a mature and healthy relationship. I also don’t think he would cheat on me cause his exes used to cheat on him a lot. He thinks it’s the worst thing you can do to someone. I feel like he knows when enough is enough. What i mean by that is, he calls me words but doesn’t use physical violence. The same with women. He calls them hot but wouldn’t cheat. I totally …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:38 PM
3

Exactly, just keep it to yourself. At first i didn’t mind but when he started saying that these women were hot it bothered me and i felt really insecure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:31 PM
11

Oh, i never knew about that so thank you! Guilt tripping is emotional abuse for sure. I was so naive and had no idea what he was doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:29 PM
6

Thank you for your words! I’m actually scared to make the list because i already know that the cons will outweigh the pros. He doesn’t treat me well, doesn’t take any job seriously and can be really manipulative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:24 PM
4

He’s literally a man child. His behavior is the same of a three year old kid. This is insanely disgusting. Red flag indeed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:22 PM
3

That’s so messed up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:20 PM
3

I don’t think he does this. He never says ‘i’ll sleep with someone else’ or what was said in this video. He makes me feel guilty by mentioning that we could’ve had a great time. This doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants. If it doesn’t work though, he acts passive aggressive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:19 PM
5

Ugh !!! Exactly...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:01 PM
16

For sure! He would get really jealous if i did the same thing to him. If i said that i find this older guy attractive, he would get really insecure or who knows what. And also, since he said ‘it’s just a joke’ twice or didn’t delete the post afterwards, it shows that he doesn’t give a shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:41 PM
5

It’s hurtful and toxic !!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:37 PM
4

Yeah, if i had a thing for taller guys and my boyfriend was short what good would i do if i told him? He would get insecure about it, maybe even worry that i might find someone taller and leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:35 PM
11

Starting to consider it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:33 PM
45

Damn right !!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:33 PM
25

Oh my god, you’re so right! Everything you just said makes sense. He really doesn’t realize how disrespectful and shameful it is to share that post when he has a girlfriend who loves him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:33 PM
31

Exactly! I even asked ‘how would you feel if i said this 50 year old dad is really hot’. He said he wouldn’t mind which i doubt because he can get easily jealous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:30 PM
7

He told me he watched milf porn once or twice but doesn’t do it regularly... yeah right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:29 PM
6

My friend also said that he could have some mommy issues. That would be weird as hell. I think it’s mostly because they’re independent, have been through stuff and therefore can teach him a lot. Still though, i don’t care about any of that. It’s just disrespectful and disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:27 PM
7

This is so true. I can’t believe i ever put up with this behavior. I went to an event just for him this one time and he left me alone with his friends cause he was too busy charming other women. My friends noticed and they found it weird that he was talking to some women and leaving me alone... that’s insane!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:24 PM
7

Yeah, i know you’re right and i know i shouldn’t be with this person but it’s really hard for me to break up with him. The only explanation is that i’m in the trauma bond. He doesn’t give me a single reason to continue being with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:56 PM
31

True. He knows i would never leave. When he said it was just a joke i started blaming myself at some point. Now i can see clearly what he’s doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:44 PM
27

I’m literally starting to think that he cares so much about sex, especially for the fact that he guilt trips me if i’m not in the mood for it or is passive aggressive if i say no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:35 PM
44

It’s definitely a red flag. When i told him that i felt uncomfortable he said ‘it’s just a joke and i’m gonna keep making jokes whether you like them or not’. Even when he shared this pic that said milf plaza and i told him it‘s disrespectful he replied with ‘my posts are just jokes’. I’m not sure if he knows that he’s hurting me but it’s so fucked up to do that to someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:30 PM
15

Exactly! He has someone great in front of him and still talks about other women. It’s so sad because it really makes you feel insecure. Thanks for your advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:25 PM
9

I think having a type is okay but this is just so specific and weird. I still don’t get why he would date me when he has a thing for older women. It’s disrespectful and hurtful to me. Thank you both for the advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:21 PM
2

I never realized that was manipulative. Thank you and i agree, he is trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:30 AM
4

Yeah, i‘ll definitely feel lonely and sad for a while but also relieved because of everything that you mentioned. I’m actually looking forward to that part of my life, when i can be free. Thank you for the advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 09:17 PM
3

Thank you so much! They aren’t in peace with themselves so they try to ruin other people and make them feel just as miserable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:51 PM
8

Loool yeah, he definitely deserves that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:48 PM
8

Thank you for the advice! That’s who they really are, they can change for a while and go back to their old self. I’ve been also tolerating his behavior so he thinks i’m okay with being treated like this. He really doesn’t deserve me at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:44 PM
1

I thought you meant disappearing without any word. He did that before and it hurt so much, i would never do it to someone no matter what. Sending a text and blocking him is the best way to break up right now because there’s no chance he can change my mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:38 PM
7

He told me he’s manipulative but would never manipulate me. I was so much in love that i chose to believe that. I found out about guilt tripping a few months ago and i didn’t know that’s what he was doing. I have no clue why we’re still together honestly. I read about this thing called trauma bonding which made so much sense to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:34 PM
9

My boyfriend also insults me and other people as a joke. This is messed up. I’m finally aware that these people don’t want to and will never change. At least we know now and hopefully when someone shows us who they really are we’ll believe them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:31 PM
11

Now that i think about it, me explaining myself and asking questions is useless because he’s going to do the same thing again and again. The problem is still going to be there since he’s too busy blaming me about it. I tried to be nice and ask him to stop doing certain things that hurt me but nothing has ever changed. He always makes me feel unimportant and weak. I don’t think we ever had an argument where he was understanding, considerate and didn’t try to blame me. He’s literally blaming me fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:26 PM
5

Wow thank you, i will definitely look it up! It’s honestly really stressful to deal with this person because i’m never right. I’m either too sensitive or overreacting. I’m finally starting to realize how damaging this relationship was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:07 PM
7

Deep down i know that. I don’t get why i’m still nice and kind to this person when he‘s nothing but toxic and emotionally abusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:53 PM
13

I think breaking up would be the best thing to do right now. I love what you said about him making a choice to disrespect me and that choices have consequences. Thank you for the advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:50 PM
6

Found it. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:46 PM
-5

I think it would be hard for me to ghost him since we’ve been in the relationship for two years. I’m trying to stand up for myself tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:43 PM
4

Where can i find it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:41 PM
17

Yeah, i think so too. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:41 PM
20

Wow... this is so messed up. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:38 PM
3

I told my close friends everything and they all think he’s very toxic. A friend even said that he could be a narcissist. I’ve been more aware lately so i’m definitely going to do something about the situation. Thank you for your words!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:07 PM
1

That might be really helpful, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:04 PM
4

I knew what i had to do from the beginning. I read that toxic relationships become addictive and it’s really hard to leave at this point. It’s exactly how i feel. I’m definitely attached.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:29 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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