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EthicalSeduction Archive

View 3 posts and 173 comments by EthicalSeduction on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I am wondering what your dating app photos look like. Do they portray you in a good way? Do they show that you take care of yourself, that you enjoy life or would be fun to be around, where were they taken, what clues about you are in the background. Photos are way more than just what you physically look like. Make people want to know more about you (this is the point of including photos).
/r/seduction05/10/22 11:45 AM
1

You need to adjust and go at a pace they are comfortable with. If you don’t respect a boundary you lose trust and your chances are over. So it’s fine to say “yes I was hoping you were interested, but it’s fine that you are not.” Use this as an opportunity to show you are trustworthy and interested in being more than friends.
/r/seduction05/10/22 11:38 AM
1

We need more info. What parts feel awkward to you? When are people breaking off their interactions with you?
/r/seduction05/10/22 03:54 AM
1

I still feel like you should do what fits best for your personal style versus a pua formula. Pushing for mid-date doesn't feel that important. Do it when it feels right would be my suggestion.
/r/seduction24/08/22 04:45 PM
7

I'm thinking as I type this and curious about your thoughts... So if someone is nervous about going for the kiss, why push it earlier when it's riskier/harder/scarier? Since it's often expected at the end of a date is that not easier and safer - especially for those who are nervous about the first kiss?
/r/seduction24/08/22 02:25 PM
4

This is really a question about style. What people tell you in this post is going to be subjective to their personalities and flirting style. So my advice is to trust what feels right to you as there is not a single magic answer. Suggestion: Wait until the end of the date and then ask for the kids. “I had a great time and I would like to kiss you. Would you be okay with that?” And then smile and show your interest. And if she says no, then respect that and ask again at the end of date #2.
/r/seduction24/08/22 10:54 AM
3

I agree with your last paragraph. I feel most PUA material has really good points, but that sometimes suggested approach’s can be refined where they both are more effective AND positive for everyone. Dating and meeting people should be something kind that we give (not just “taking” which leaves us feeling and acting poorly.) Just my belief but it’s also what led me to choose this screen name. :)
/r/seduction10/08/22 06:05 PM
3

I feel certain that manipulation tactics (or lies or misleading someone) never work as strongly as approaching someone in an honest authentic manner. When you are real with someone, it shows and that helps establish a lot of trust. And trust is foundational for attraction. I'm glad you see this. It's like being in a new phase of growth. :)
/r/seduction10/08/22 01:59 PM
15

LOVE hearing this. Authenticity is attractive AND creates trust - which helps you connect with better quality people! :)
/r/seduction09/08/22 08:33 PM
8

She doesn’t sound very invested and you both sound like you don’t exactly trust the other one. If you were to do anything, you sort of have to talk about the inconsistency and then agree to start over. But yeah, if someone doesn’t do what they say they will after that… trust is gone and so are they.
/r/seduction07/08/22 11:31 AM
16

Ask her out. It’s the perfect time. You are free from work and now you would like to get together with her. Simple as that. :)
/r/seduction06/08/22 11:29 AM
7

Let’s discuss fake it til you make it. I’ve never really liked this approach because it sets on up for overselling and the other person feeling they were lied to. So I feel this shoot’s ourselves in the foot and set us up for poor inner game once we see ourselves as disingenuous. Thoughts? I suspect there is a middle ground.
/r/seduction03/08/22 12:23 PM
20

No I think you did the right thing by telling her. It needs to be her choice too and lying won’t help. It’s better to be up front. And it’s better to wait just a little longer to find someone ready to be with you for your first time. They don’t have to be your girlfriend or anything serious, just someone ready to be special to you. Have a few coffee dates or something to get to know the person and chances are they will be comfortable. And you are not stupid. It’s hard to know the other persons p…
/r/seduction03/08/22 11:54 AM
102

It’s because for you, this is a special moment you will remember forever; where for her it was going to be nothing - just sex that she would likely forget about over time. So you accidentally put a lot of pressure on her because you pointed out that SHE is going to be special. That’s not what she was asking for So she backed out because she didn’t feel she was the right person for you. That’s all. She would want you to be with someone you have more connection with, to share that moment with you.
/r/seduction03/08/22 11:12 AM
18

I agree with u/putcoolusernamehere There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex simply because it feels good. People can want to have/share sex for many different reasons. While I just wrote about u/ultraIightbeam wanting a connection and that being an important growth moment for them, we need to make sure that we understand the other person likely has different wants and needs. Sex and Relationships are two different things and act independently. They can be blended but they don't have to be.
/r/seduction29/07/22 04:32 PM
310

You are in a new phase now that you are hooking up, realizing that you want more than just sex - that you also want connection. Consider this a growing moment where you know and understand yourself better. Now you can work towards developing better relationships. I feel most people want to feel a connection with the person we are sleeping with. After all, if all we cared about was getting off, we could just stay at home and masturbate! So it's the desire to share this with someone else that gets…
/r/seduction29/07/22 04:21 PM
1

Take a break. Focus on yourself for a bit. This is healthy selfcare and it's necessary. Later, if you want to start meeting people again, understand that something you are likely doing is why you are being friendzoned. Take time to think about that and what is causing it so you can work on that part. From what you write here, that's your sticking point.
/r/seduction29/07/22 04:09 PM
3

I would agree and this is a great reminder to us to focus on the basics, understand the basics, and practice! People often ask "what is attractive". I believe that anything that will benefit a person, help them feel safe (also a benefit), or improve their lives ends up being attractive. So this can include your looks (which is like having great genes to pass on) but for us it's more about figuring out what you have of value to share with others. It's what that person sees as valuable to them tha…
/r/seduction27/07/22 03:34 PM
1

So I've got a few questions... is this person local where you could eventually potentially meet or just virtual where you are trying to make friends and possibly a connection? I ask because I'm wondering if the context, from her perspective, is if this is just online friends chatting or if the "online venue" is set up for meeting romantic partners. Because if she will never meet you, she probably is not going to really consider actual flirting. She would likely just be nice and fun. But, to make…
/r/seduction26/07/22 03:11 PM
1

If one woman demonstrates that she see you as attractive, safe, and worth flirting with, then it serves as a message to other women (everyone really) that you are attractive, safe, and worth flirting with. So of course they will be interested. :)
/r/seduction26/07/22 12:55 PM
2

I guess this is a way to filter out people with busier lives. I wonder if you are attracting “more needy” types of people?? Not sure. But yeah, if you don’t have the patience then those others would not be a good match with you. I don’t see anything wrong with this approach.
/r/seduction26/07/22 03:03 AM
1

Being at your place is fine but have you already created the attraction and chemistry between you both? That's what is needed! If you have that, then you can sit closer, start touching, and see if that builds to going to the bedroom. Focus on building the attraction.
/r/seduction19/07/22 12:06 PM
0

It's great to hear! We don't realize the weight we have been carrying with us, the burden we had accidentally placed on ourselves, until it's lifted. It's like experiencing freedom in many ways. Chances are you will start acting differently in other areas of your life too (such as work, where we often do the same thing.) So congratulations and I hope you really enjoy this moment of growth! :)
/r/seduction18/07/22 12:07 PM
1

The difference is between using Direct Language and Indirect Language. While you are being precise with your statement, the other examples are literally more vague. There are reasons and times to use both, and all people use both, but culture and our upbringing can influence our style. From my experience, you can ask someone to give you a more detailed answer, but when they come to the "I don't know" point, you likely won't get much more info out of them and are usually best to drop it and move …
/r/seduction18/07/22 12:00 PM
2

Everyone needs to experiment to find out what environment best suits your style. So definitely try both before settling on just one. It's not just about quantity but about where you feel the most successful.
/r/seduction18/07/22 11:53 AM
8

If you are open and honest about it and allow the other people to date others too, then it's totally ethical.
/r/seduction18/07/22 11:49 AM
1

I love how you point out that "going after what you want" (considered good) is related to "chasing someone" (considered bad) but that the difference is really based on your your motivation. I believe the lesson you are sharing here is about fear. Chasing is often about our fear of not being good enough. "Going after what you want" on the other hand is motivated by bravery, confidence, and belief in your own self worth. Very different headspaces. Nicely done.
/r/seduction18/07/22 11:46 AM
1

If a relationship has been established, you should both be texting some here and there just to stay in touch. Lack of texting can imply lack of interest, but be aware that you are doing it too. You could be scaring her to where she is pulling back to protect herself. My suggestion, check in with her. Point out that you have noticed she's not texted much and therefore you backed off to help give her space, but that you are not sure if that was good or not. Address the elephant in the room and hav…
/r/seduction15/07/22 02:36 PM
9

Questions can be fine if they don't become an interview (or interrogation). Ask flirty, fun questions that pull people into wanting to interact with you. Get them talking about topics they enjoy. So when you hear something they mention or notice with how they dress or act, discuss this topic. Use open ended questions so they do the talking. "Tell me more about that." "What was that like?" "How did you figure that out?' Understand what made you want to speak to this person in the first place. Thi…
/r/seduction15/07/22 02:24 PM
5

It's only a shit test if you act like an ass and don't treat others well. Don't do this. Reframe your thinking to be looking for how you and the other person may be compatible. Focus on what you have in common. And if there isn't much in common, you move on.
/r/seduction15/07/22 02:05 PM
8

My suggestion: Get on Fetlife and make a very simple, clean profile. Then post in a local group explaining for what you want and for help or guidance. Be humble and nice. Don't directly ask for someone to sleep with you but start by simply for asking for help and suggestions. Then someone may be willing to show you the ropes.
/r/seduction14/07/22 12:43 PM
3

You swipe right and match, but then texting is the next filter that you have to get through before someone is willing to invest time and energy into meeting you. You may not like what you think of as "extra texting", but it's far less work than going out and meeting someone IRL only to discover that you are not a good match. Beside you should be checking them (qualifying) to make sure they are not wasting your time.
/r/seduction14/07/22 12:34 PM
2

Step by step is really the best. That way you can feel excited with each success and that can help keep you motivated and make it fun. And really, this should be fun. You should enjoy getting closer with people. Maybe not everyone, but at least the special people you click with. :) I don't know your age, but when it comes time to have sex, make sure they know it's going to be your first time. It's important them to understand that this is an important moment. And then they can help make it bette…
/r/seduction13/07/22 03:10 PM
3

We all want to be connected to other people and intimacy is a part of feeling that very real connection. So yes, I would encourage you to try and meet someone you really like and fit well with. Weed people out. Try and meet others who share your interest and values. Attend social events and groups based around activities you enjoy doing (pottery class, dancing, workout class, board gaming groups, etc). Social skills take practice. Don't worry about not kissing our fucking yet. You should start o…
/r/seduction13/07/22 02:23 PM
2

First, don't worry about other dudes. Learn to put them out of your mind. Focus on your conversations with her. And all you mentioned about sounds like she likes you. Always take quality conversations over the speed of a reply. Assume she is just busy. Quality is what matters.
/r/seduction13/07/22 02:11 PM
1

Try asking interesting open-ended questions so they will want to respond and do most of the talking. As you approach, pay attention to what you find cool or interesting about them. Ask about that. With some practice you can get really good with using open-ended questions. Also get them to elaborate with "Tell me about that." or "How did that feel?" Be interested in them.
/r/seduction13/07/22 02:07 PM
1

Here are a few ideas; Try meeting people at events that you enjoy because then you will have shared interest and something in common. So maybe try a hiking group or dance classes or pottery or a workout class. Something you enjoy that can become a group activity. Attend venues where you can meet people. There are social groups on Meetup.com, often with a shared common interest, that get together for dinners and things. Do the online thing too. Swipe right, chat with the person, and meet them for…
/r/seduction13/07/22 02:04 PM
1

“no but flirt with one of the guys at the bar and they’ll help you haha” is a weird, messed up line. Why would you say that? If this is rejection, it's not a kind way to act and you just lost some points. If it's supposed to be funny, well again it's confusing and so you still lost points dude. Some people are just flirty and that's how that interact. It can be there way of showing that they like you as a person. It's not bad as long as they don't send you mixed signals - and this dude is sendin…
/r/seduction09/07/22 12:05 PM
3

It's all about practice! Including getting better with your social skills. As a suggestion, if you can focus your attention on learning to hold better, more interesting conversations, you will demonstrate a lot of high value attractive traits. So while you may not have a ton of friends (because maybe you are choosy?), you will be attractive if you can keep the other person intrigued and enjoying who you are.
/r/seduction09/07/22 11:51 AM
3

Do what you love because you are responsible for your own happiness. AND if you want to find someone who is a good fit with you, think about the things you enjoy and value and where women who also like these things hang out. Go to there places, join these groups, be around people who will be a good fit with you, etc. If you want women in your life you do need to go to them.
/r/seduction06/07/22 01:18 PM
3

Absolutely! Because we are all in this together trying to improve our lives as well as those around us. Seduction is not about "taking" but about teaming up and finding win/win opportunities.
/r/seduction06/07/22 01:11 PM
1

Anything you have to give and make someones life better will be attractive. Consider these: Fun playful interactions, new experiences to share, trust building moments, empathy and kindness... these are all attractive traits because they help improve the other person's life.
/r/seduction06/07/22 01:07 PM
2

Why do you feel that makes a difference? Because it can’t be serious of long term? Then you take her for face value that she wants to go out with you again, and you go out and you just see what happens.
/r/seduction05/07/22 01:43 PM
8

The fact she wants a 3rd date shows she likes you. The fact that she didn’t kiss you on he second, but still wants a 3rd date, implies she sees you as “serious” boyfriend material.
/r/seduction05/07/22 12:37 PM
2

Just keep looking for opportunities to be more targeted and intentional with whom you meet - even if that means targeting bars, coffee shops, and other social events. At least those are places people gather to meet and socialize. That’s targeted to some extent. Good luck. I know some parts of the country don’t have as much to offer.
/r/seduction04/07/22 03:32 PM
2

Before you think of the activity or place, try and think of the qualities you want in a person. Then figure out where people like that tend to hang out. And then you work to get involved with that community. So it could also be an online group where you share certain common interest. But because you share these interests, your changes of meeting someone you really like and click with jumps way up (compared to random cold meets on the street, as you have mentioned.)
/r/seduction04/07/22 03:26 PM
2

Try “targeted engagement”. By this you first figure out where the type of people you want to meet go to hangout, and then you go there and participate. So for example, if you want someone athletic and adventurous then sign up for a kayaking group or a rock climbing class. Choose things you like and want. Your chances of meeting really cool people who you click with go way up because you have chosen a “targeted” group that fits you.
/r/seduction04/07/22 12:01 PM
1

Yes. You just want to spend some time together, feel sexually drawn to each other, and then make it safe and non-judgemental for the person to say “yes”. Set things up to be safe, easy, and without any negative consequences.
/r/seduction03/07/22 11:55 AM
3

Conversations related to dating and flirting are typically about (1) finding commonalities and shared interests and (2) figuring out how to team up to explore those shared interests further. That's the usual overall structure and at the end of the conversation or date you have plans to pursue something, be it another date, sex etc. How you hold the conversation is where you demonstrate your style, that you are fun, interesting, creative, playful, sexy, adventurous, etc. To find out more about th…
/r/seduction02/07/22 01:48 PM
3

Attraction is really about what you have to offer to make some else's life better and safer. So while good looks may give someone good genes and that's sexy and attractive, so is offering them someone they can always count on. Tip: Conversations can become your strong attractive point. In a conversation the objective is sort of to (1) figure out what you both have in common and then (2) decide to team up to explore this shared interest. And yes this can include wanting to explore sex, or seeing …
/r/seduction30/06/22 02:51 PM
-1

One thing to add... Lot's of people cheat for lots of reasons. You have to invest in your relationship and make it safe, positive, and growth minded to where it benefits both people. That helps eliminate the "need" for cheating.
/r/seduction30/06/22 02:45 PM
1

She actually means "don't contact her" because you lied and lost her trust. (Trust is foundational before you can build any attraction.)
/r/seduction30/06/22 02:20 PM
2

It’s truly not about money but about what you have to offer someone else. This means being able to take care of yourself for the most part AND having extra time and energy to love and support someone else. But it’s things like being caring and fun that matter most. People want to be valued, loved, and appreciated. My suggestion is to trying hanging out with women more. Just befriend a few people and get to know them. Don’t make moves on these people because you need them as true friends. And thi…
/r/seduction30/06/22 10:47 AM
3

Attraction is not just about looks. Looks make a quick first impression but once you start talking, things shift and it becomes more about who you are as a person and what value you have to offer. Focus on your value. First ask friends what your best traits are. It's important to know what you excel at, why people like you, what you have to offer others. Your looks are fine, as I saw your photo in your profile. Yes you can change it or improve it but this is not going to solve your attraction is…
/r/seduction29/06/22 03:32 PM
1

This is actually something that happens in statistics related to probability. Things don't happen all smoothly but tend to come in clumps as you are describing. That is more mathematically probable then everything being even.
/r/seduction29/06/22 02:56 PM
2

Got you covered! The thing about getting over approach anxiety is that it's best to take baby steps so each interaction feels like a small success and you notice how you are growing. Make 3 approaches each day, to anyone, just to start a mini-conversation. Ask for directions, get an opinion, or give someone a compliment. By the end of the month you will have started almost 100 conversations and you will feel a lot more comfortable approaching people! You will have developed conversation starters…
/r/seduction29/06/22 02:54 PM
13

More and more people are in open relationships so try not to make assumptions about cheating. The fact is you won't know until you ask, so chat with her some on Insta and ask questions. Once she acts a little flirty you can check in with her saying that you noticed she's married and is it okay to flirt back? That will tell you a lot right there.
/r/seduction29/06/22 01:51 PM
1

At the grocery you don't have much time, so you need to: Approach. (Tell the person what caught your eye about them, why they stand out.) Have a short chat. (You don't want to bug them. Chat about what you found interesting about them and why you wanted to stop them to find out more, then let them go back to their shopping. The fact that you are not taking much of them, but freely giving them something of value (a compliment, validation of something cool you noticed, etc) without any expectation…
/r/seduction28/06/22 06:12 PM
1

Yes girls do this. Yes people do this. Yes she likes you.
/r/seduction28/06/22 05:54 PM
48

Popular wisdom is that you don’t tell this person because (1) it’s too late for them to feel that early rush of attraction and (2) because it will ruin the friendship. But…. You are already good friends and should be able to speak and share with each other. So you (1) tell her how you feel, (2) ask if she feels similar and would consider trying something romantic (so she doesn’t have to commit, just trying it), and (3) you let her know that if she doesn’t feel the same way then you are fine leav…
/r/seduction28/06/22 11:18 AM
1

It sounds to me like you could be dealing with other things too, such as depression or something similar. This is common so you are by no means alone. Therapy can help a lot because they work one-on-one with you AND they are trained professionals (unlike those of us here on reddit). I know they can be expensive but if you call one and they cost too much they can often point you in the right direction for getting help from someone else you can afford.
/r/seduction26/06/22 12:41 PM
111

My guess is you may be accidentally doing something "creepy", which is an umbrella term which basically means you could be causing the other person to feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Watch these things: Body Language: Be careful how you approach someone. Don't come up from behind them for example. Also don't stand where they feel trapped or cornered. Don't be intimidating or pushy: Nobody like being treated this way and we instantly resist it, as we should. Be kind, respect boundaries, don't touch…
/r/seduction26/06/22 12:33 PM
3

There is definitely a decent amount of scientific research backing this statement up, in that your appearance influence the other person's decision making. Also know that while this helps you get your foot in the door, nobody will want to hang out with someone who's an a-hole. Personality wins the marathon race, which is really a good thing.
/r/seduction25/06/22 11:43 AM
3

Well there is a connection between how your body language is and how your mind feels. So for example when you are feeling good, relaxed, and confident, you tend to stand up straighter and a bit taller. Well the same thing can happen where standing straighter and taller over time can affect how you feel internally. It's not a magic cure-all trick but it definitely helps. Same with smiling where if you consciously "smile" a little, your mind starts to feel this as well. Try it and see if you like …
/r/seduction25/06/22 11:39 AM
2

The only way to prevent it is to be so honest and authentic with your approach. If you are approaching, being kind, and being genuine in your interest there is nothing a white knight can really do or say. Even if the white knight makes comments about you, your actions and behavior will hopefully stand on your own. (All this said, it's definitely harder making a good impression when someone else is there trying to tear you down.)
/r/seduction25/06/22 11:31 AM
2

Each venue is different. Bars and conferences are designed social events where you are supposed to mingle and meet people. Your observations about coffee shops are spot on, people are doing their own thing. For this reason I think you almost need to treat coffee shop interactions as if you were meeting someone on the street - which means pausing them, telling them why you paused them (often what was cool that you noticed), and then asking for their number or way to follow up with them later. Bec…
/r/seduction19/06/22 12:41 PM
1

It doesn't have to sound needy. It's being totally honest, open, and transparent so it helps establish him as a quality person who is brave enough to show who he is (and it helps establish trust and safety that he will tell it like he feels.)
/r/seduction17/06/22 06:40 PM
1

Okay. If you feel she played with you and such then yeah, just let her go.
/r/seduction17/06/22 04:57 PM
1

I love the coffee or drink date because as you say, it's lower pressure and the person can leave whenever they want. So yeah, definitely go with that. (I thought you have said dinner so it was in my head. Sorry about that.)
/r/seduction17/06/22 03:08 PM
1

I love the coffee or drink date because as you say, it's lower pressure and the person can leave whenever they want. So yeah, definitely go with that. (I thought you have said dinner so it was in my head. Sorry about that.)
/r/seduction17/06/22 03:08 PM
1

I love the coffee or drink date because as you say, it's lower pressure and the person can leave whenever they want. So yeah, definitely go with that. (I thought you have said dinner so it was in my head. Sorry about that.)
/r/seduction17/06/22 03:06 PM
1

I love the coffee or drink date because as you say, it's lower pressure and the person can leave whenever they want. So yeah, definitely go with that. (I thought you have said dinner so it was in my head. Sorry about that.)
/r/seduction17/06/22 03:05 PM
1

I love the coffee or drink date because as you say, it's lower pressure and the person can leave whenever they want. So yeah, definitely go with that. (I thought you have said dinner so it was in my head. Sorry about that.)
/r/seduction17/06/22 03:05 PM
1

I love the coffee or drink date because as you say, it's lower pressure and the person can leave whenever they want. So yeah, definitely go with that. (I thought you have said dinner so it was in my head. Sorry about that.)
/r/seduction17/06/22 03:05 PM
1

I love the coffee or drink date because as you say, it's lower pressure and the person can leave whenever they want. So yeah, definitely go with that. (I thought you have said dinner so it was in my head. Sorry about that.)
/r/seduction17/06/22 03:05 PM
1

I love the coffee or drink date because as you say, it's lower pressure and the person can leave whenever they want. So yeah, definitely go with that. (I thought you have said dinner so it was in my head. Sorry about that.)
/r/seduction17/06/22 03:05 PM
2

When she texts asking what happened, just tell her, "I realized that I kind of liked hanging out with you AND that I hoped to see you again. So can I take you out for a drink sometime?"
/r/seduction17/06/22 03:01 PM
1

Well taking the anti depressants is a good thing. That can make a huge difference. What sort of things did she do to keep you on a leash? That is some strong wording and I'm sure you chose it for a real reason. General thought: With relationships you don't want to be forcing things or forcing the other person into doing anything. The more freedom you can be comfortable giving them the better. So if you can be okay with not hearing from them for a while when they take time for themselves, great! …
/r/seduction17/06/22 02:55 PM
1

Congrats on getting her number. She sounds potentially interested in you which is a great start. Right now neither of you know each other. Ask her out for that dinner. Talk more and see if there is any attraction. If you like her, work to create attraction in her, which you can do by basically demonstrating value (i.e. (1) hold conversations that are fun, easy and engaging, (2) look for shared interests that you both connect on, (3) be playful and enjoy her (watch teasing as there is a good fun …
/r/seduction17/06/22 02:45 PM
5

First off she isn't damaged. She just got out of a long term relationship and is trying to figure out what she wants. That's normal. Have a discussion about what you both like and want, what your boundaries are (such as no blowing me off without first communicating why), and look for the areas and places you overlap. Perhaps you both will choose not to be exclusive (because that's too serious for where she is so just take that pressure off) but to hang out maybe once a week or so because you do …
/r/seduction17/06/22 02:31 PM
2

Flirting is a process with a few key parts to it: You meet someone and start a conversation with them. At some point when they say or do something cool, you express some interest or curiosity where you acknowledge this thing you like. So point it out and encourage them to show or tell you more. (Qualify them. Are they actually interesting or cool?) If they are in fact interesting and you like them, the next key part of flirting is actually admitting that you like them. Don't make this a big stat…
/r/seduction17/06/22 02:21 PM
1

When you see someone do something crappy like this, make a mental note of it and then never do it yourself. It's a learning point.
/r/seduction17/06/22 01:58 PM
1

The point of all dating apps is to get the two people talking. After that, it’s really up to you. I love Tinder because it works super quickly. Because after you both swipe right, then it’s all up to you two to have a good conversation and hook each other enough that it’s worth the time to meet up in real life. Tinder helps you filter through people quickly to find someone you click with. It’s simple yet efficient in my opinion. I’m a fan.
/r/seduction16/06/22 10:46 AM
3

When we flirt and try to form a connection it uses so many different skill sets. Eye contact and smile. Being authentic and comfortable with yourself. Knowing how to hold an engaging conversation Knowing how to qualify the person (that you are a good fit). Knowing how to read flirting signals. Etc. The reason we are on this thread is not all of this comes naturally to us and so we want to share and learn. Most of us are good at some things but suck at others. I think your point is that we don't …
/r/seduction15/06/22 02:08 PM
2

Sounds to me like you are sensing there isn’t any spark or enough attraction built up. So I read your question as “should you continue to invest more time and effort into this person.” Trust your instincts on this. You say you are not seeing much interest or reciprocation so then call it as it is. Maybe politely even wrap things up stating that you are not feeling much connection and end the date nicely. Because if you are not feeling it’s going somewhere, it’s better to invest your time and ene…
/r/seduction15/06/22 10:53 AM
2

We may feel attraction right away, but our prefrontal cortex then kicks in and says "Wait, can I trust this feeling?" And it's totally possible to feel both attraction and wariness at the same time. And yes short and long term are different. Mixed signals happen when the person isn't sure what they currently want. If you like them and want to try and attract them, then you would still have more work to do.
/r/seduction14/06/22 02:22 PM
2

Yes! Being authentic and genuine is a must for yourself but it's also attractive because it shows you care about yourself (which is attractive!) Your post shows the value in building a solid reputation as a good, well rounded, high quality person - and to do this by being your authentic self. Our reputations matter and having that group of female friends is part of having a healthy "ecosystem". You gain knowledge and insight and in turn they likely talk about how great you are to their other fri…
/r/seduction14/06/22 02:17 PM
8

She ghosted you which means she is creating separation on purpose. That’s what’s going on. The stories part doesn’t really matter at that point. Sorry.
/r/seduction14/06/22 10:52 AM
1

Manage your expectations and stick by what you say. If you agree to just be friends and hang out, then you need to do this and not escalate. If you can’t, then you need to tell her you can’t (in which case she will manage you and you won’t see her again.) But the point is that you don’t want to lead people on or trick them and it’s important to do what you say. And hey, if she I really cool, include her as one of your friends. And that can lead to more connections with other cool people as well.
/r/seduction14/06/22 10:48 AM
2

And remember that they may not yet know if they are into you or not either - which is why you may get some mixed signals at first.
/r/seduction14/06/22 10:42 AM
1

You are starting with externals because that's all you have. But this approach is not supplication if you are being honest. You actually noticed something cool about them so stating this demonstrates that you are observant (which is rare). It does show that you have an interest in them, which again isn't bad because you actually do have an interest in them, so you demonstrate this and ask about the topic because, as you said, you are sort of testing them to see if they are then interesting enoug…
/r/seduction13/06/22 10:06 PM
2

Try asking yourself why you want to meet or talk with this person in the first place. What about them stood out and caught your attention? What’s something real cool you notice about them or what is of interest? Look for clues with how they dress, how they stand and hold themselves, how they interact with friends or others. Don’t stop yourself short by thinking to yourself “I want to meet them because they are beautiful.” Thats boring and it’s not enough. Dig deeper and ask what about them you f…
/r/seduction13/06/22 10:21 AM
1

I know several people with the same fears and it can be crippling so I’m sorry you are going through it too, but you smart for recognizing it as a real issue. If you don’t address it will just keep coming up with every future partner and you will likely cause then to not be able to talk with you. And the at leads to more problems. I believe it’s all based around the fear of not just losing this person, but never being good enough for anyone. Just know that it’s a fear and not a realistic perspec…
/r/seduction11/06/22 03:01 PM
1

No you don’t have to be amazing looking on in super shape. That’s only one way to use attraction. Tinder is based around photos at first so you do want to choose a good one. Make sure you look good in it but also consider what the photo says about you. Are you doing something exciting that shows you like to have fun? While your main photo need t be of you, you can include other photos with friends if they demonstrate other aspects of your personality. But the other key thing about any dating app…
/r/seduction11/06/22 02:47 PM
2

Make sure you have established a level of safety and comfort. This is the foundation for attraction to be built on. If the person doesn't feel comfortable with you, they can't really start to feel attraction. Lay down a good foundation by being authentic and comfortable with yourself. This is where they will notice that you like yourself, trust your judgement, have confidence in yourself, etc. Do things that generate attraction, such as being playful and engaging with your conversations and thin…
/r/seduction08/06/22 08:37 PM
0

It's about managing their expectations. If you are upfront and honest with them about what you want, such as being casual and getting together once a week or so, then they will know what to expect and that settles a lot of issues right there. That's the key.
/r/seduction08/06/22 08:27 PM
1

So is the book most about attraction and how that works?
/r/seduction08/06/22 01:13 PM
3

I have not read the book but will share a thought or two hoping that it helps. The word “authenticity” is a great word to strive for. We all want the freedom of getting to live authentic lives where we can express who we are (which includes being vulnerable at times and asking for help or things we need) and we don’t just want to be accepted or tolerated, but really valued for who we are as a person! Just imagine that for a second, that you didn’t have to try and impress people because they want…
/r/seduction08/06/22 11:11 AM
2

You just need to be clear about (1) your expectations and wants so you don’t accidentally lead the other person on and (2) you need to make it safe, comfortable, and easy for them to come to you when they want to have sex. When they know they won’t get emotionally hurt but still come to you for sex when they want and need it, that’s an easy fit.
/r/seduction08/06/22 10:46 AM
0

So I personally found Tinder really easy to use and get dates. And I think it's because Tinder works really quick at getting you started talking. Both people swipe right and then you chat. So if you are good at the chatting part, then you can probably land the date. (Most dating apps I think basically try and help the two people start a conversation. That's the goal and you are expected to take it from there.) So how do you get started having a good quality conversation? First study the picture …
/r/seduction07/06/22 05:47 PM
3

Women's attraction is not unstable, it's that dating and attraction is a process. You are landing the date which means you are getting that part of the process down, but then you are losing their interest after dates 1 or 2, probably because of something you are doing or how your personality is coming across. You don't provide enough information for us to determine what the problem is or what you should try, but something there is killing their interest. Also, try doing things on that first date…
/r/seduction07/06/22 05:31 PM
1

Anyone who goes fighting like this.... should be causing you to feel red flags. Because later on, how will they treat you?
/r/seduction07/06/22 04:39 PM
-1

Well first off, there is nothing wrong with you! Being a police officer is a profession you choose on purpose to help people. That's admirable! It's also difficult work on many levels which tells me a big about your personality and drive. Again, very admirable and attractive. So you actually have a lot working in your favor. It's the stereotypes you are stuck working against and yes, because you have drive and determination, that too will intimidate some people. Just know that you chose this pro…
/r/seduction07/06/22 04:37 PM
14

Contrary to what many would likely say, I think this is a great approach AND I know it works. It's consent based and respectful. You are being bold and stating that you like her and that you would like more. (Demonstrating confidence, strength, courage). It doesn't play games and you are allowing yourself to be slightly vulnerable with her (helps establish trust, connection, vulnerability demonstrate strength and courage). So yes this is a totally valid approach and I know it works, both for mys…
/r/seduction06/06/22 06:07 PM
1

Authenticity! That's what you are after, being your authentic self and not acting like an image of what you think people want. Great question and post because this shows (1) you are thinking and (2) want to finally focus on being your real self and getting what you want. You will have to reconsider all the assumptions that you made in order to find out what is really real. The good news, in doing so you will just get better and better. Think of this as refinement and almost like you coming out. …
/r/seduction06/06/22 05:58 PM
1

Yes, don’t over think this. Believe the words people use. So she got out of a 5 year relationship and probably doesn’t know for sure what she wants. She doesn’t want to get hurt, but as for something casual, you just don’t know yet. And you shouldn’t ask her yet either because again she likely doesn’t know. So maybe just hang out some more, see if there is a connection and some sexual tension, and then if there is, then you can bring it up and get her thoughts. Just be respectful and kind and ch…
/r/seduction06/06/22 05:21 PM
3

Great post! I also like to think of “rejection” as a guide that we use to learn from. Each experience teaches us a little more and we adjust our style.
/r/seduction06/06/22 12:24 PM
1

So for that I’m guessing that you would be best to post an ISO (in search of) post just trying to meet a date. If you post in the right place (for your local town or city) then I expect they will find and reach out to you. Also, I suggest using the term “sex worker” as that’s what they are. Real people with a real life. Be good to them.
/r/seduction02/06/22 11:31 AM
32

Yes it works but it's not necessarily easy. Your perspective needs to adjust to where you view things differently. Don't over think this and instead try and do things in life that make you happy. When you are enjoying activities and pursuing things you feel are valuable to you, that's when you will relax, feel proud of how you have grown, and suddenly become really attractive because of it. We all want to hang out with really good, smart, talented people who we admire. So focusing on your own gr…
/r/seduction02/06/22 11:12 AM
1

Ideally you want to find someone who matches your shared interests, values, personal style. Look for clubs and groups that meet in-person in the town you are in. So first ask yourself what you like to do, such as rock climbing or learning to dance or hiking. Meetup.com will give you lists of events and groups in your area. So will google searching terms and your location. Larger events such as conventions or fairs can also be great social places. These are probably your best bet for finding some…
/r/seduction02/06/22 11:04 AM
6

I date someone younger. It never comes up but if it did I would just reply, "Are you trying to shame us? Sounds like you are the one with the problem to work on."
/r/seduction01/06/22 03:19 PM
2

I appreciate your last paragraph a lot describing the process of qualification. I've heard that term and sort of know it but g how it fits with "validation" is very helpful. And your lead sentence of "people love a challenge" makes total sense. I'm finding that some of the terms used on this subreddit are just new to me so again, thanks for taking the time to give me so much detail into them.
/r/seduction31/05/22 02:25 PM
2

Hey than your comment. I really like where you said "validating is when you give someone a disproportionate amount of attention..." With the key word being "disproportionate". That really clicked with me. And I like how you suggested following up my statement with a comment about something they said previously. Again I think that would add more substance to the interaction and give it more reason for happening. Thank you!
/r/seduction31/05/22 01:26 PM
1

Okay thank you. This helps me a lot. I think it’s the “matching” aspect of validation that I wasn’t understanding.
/r/seduction30/05/22 12:17 PM
1

Based on something else someone else said, do you feel like maybe an underlying point here is to match the energy or my response to the situation. And so if I’ve never met this person before, my expectations are likely low (because nothing has really yet been established) and so speaking to them like “I’M SUPER EXCITED TO SEE YOU” feel incongruent - causing them to wonder why I’m acting this way, causing potential red flags? And so it’s better to match them with where the “relationship” actually…
/r/seduction30/05/22 12:15 PM
1

Hey thanks. I think I’m getting a better understanding of this. Because of my situation I’m almost always meeting and chatting with potential dates in person, so I’m having back and forth IRL conversations and we are establishing interest in each other before anyone is asking the other person out. That’s my situation. So… is that maybe on track….for me expressing interest at that time maybe isn’t a bad thing because we have already established and stated that we are interested in each other. So …
/r/seduction30/05/22 12:06 PM
1

Hey thanks for responding! So I’m trying to get my head around the term “validation”. Does this mean, in the example I gave above, that I’m validating her by saying “I’m excited”, implying that she is “valid” and worth my time/attention/energy? And is the danger here that by stating “I’m excited to see her” I’m implying that “I’m lucky to get to see her because I view her as “better” than me”? Is that the basic concept? I appreciate you walking me through this.
/r/seduction30/05/22 11:29 AM
2

We can never drink our anxiety away. I'm impressed with how you set yourself up. You are going to do well in the long run. :)
/r/seduction28/05/22 01:58 PM
6

Hey congratulations, this is great to read and hear! You did a few really good things that I just want to point out so they stand out to other readers. First you didn't take too large of a step with getting outside of your comfort zone. Approaching was hard so you began with talking to guys and just being social. Baby steps are often the way to go because they are doable and we see that we can do it and be successful! Also you didn't have an agenda of "I have to bring someone home tonight." Whil…
/r/seduction28/05/22 01:12 PM
10

I always text or write, usually saying "Hey I'm really looking forward to having some time with you later today." just to make sure everything is still on. But also it does show that I'm excited and looking forward to seeing them. Simple and easy.
/r/seduction28/05/22 12:25 PM
32

Great word "Command Presence" I've not heard that before! I just commented separately on this thread but to me it's good leadership skills. Being strong and comfortable in who you and and what you are doing, but NOT being cocky or trying to impress people by acting strong. I think often "leadership" happens when you take care of your team, listen to your team, and help raise everyone up together. This attitude helps give you that relaxed confidence that you can achieve things together.
/r/seduction27/05/22 02:08 PM
4

For the most part, it's leaderships skills and acting authentically. It's not about being cocky or acting impressive, but earning a good reputation over time and building relationships one person at a time. In a work environment, but also a community or circle of friends, we earn a reputation. If you help other people, treat them well, show they can count on you, do what you say, and go the extra mile when you can, then you will develop this really solid reputation and support system. Others wil…
/r/seduction27/05/22 02:00 PM
0

My suggestion… you wrote her back because you don’t play games. (You don’t actually know if she is playing “games” with you but also you shouldn’t care because the games part is stupid. So the important thing here is that you don’t fall into the game trap. So you write her back and chat and if appropriate you ask why she didn’t text earlier. And when she texts you why, just believe her. If this does turn into something (dating, relationship) you want it based on being open and honest with your c…
/r/seduction27/05/22 12:03 PM
30

Good list. Overall I find it helpful to just notice if the person is putting energy and effort into being around you or connecting with you. If you are seeing that, then there is some level of positive interest for you. ​ For those that ask, "Yeah but are they just being friendly or actually interested in me?" when you are not it's best to find a moment to tactfully ask them. That way you know for sure. A simple "Are you flirting with me?" possibly followed with a reassuring "It's okay if you ar…
/r/seduction26/05/22 04:29 PM
4

I tend to advocate that you always use what you are really feeling and translate that into your approach or request. So I’m this case you may tell her, “Hey I really enjoy being around you and would love to hang out more or even potentially take you out sometime. But I’m not exactly sure what you want or how you feel, so if you let me know what you’d be comfortable with, then I’d be very happy with that.” It’s honest, open, direct, no pressure, demonstrates you are comfortable with whatever answ…
/r/seduction26/05/22 12:41 PM
12

Your own personal risk for STD's and STI's goes up. Think of how many people they have slept with without using protection and then they come along and sleep with you. That sends your exposure rate much higher than someone using a condom. Separately, you giving your STD's and STI's or unwanted pregnancies to someone else doesn't feel very cool at all. You have responsibility in all that. Being safe and responsible is easy. Use a condom OR practice versions of sex that reduce your exposure and ri…
/r/seduction25/05/22 10:09 PM
1

I'm thinking how best to respond.... First a fun suggestion for creating these experiences with someone else. There are lots of ways to do it but sex can be a good one to focus on and study. Sex is an experience. Don't just think of it as the physical touching but how can you get in the person's head and play with them that way? I love teasing because while you are eventually going to let them cum, you stop on purpose to help build up their desire and make it all that much more intense. THEN you…
/r/seduction10/05/22 04:02 PM
4

Well… how to do these things is something you will always be working to improve on until you die.. But it’s one of the best “topics” even so you will never be bored. A few general areas to research and work on…. (1) work to be more engaging, curious, and interesting with your conversations, (2) learn how to create really emotionally connecting experiences with other (some quick examples: the thrill of rock climbing, watching a movie together, putting a blindfold on your partner during sex (trust…
/r/seduction08/05/22 05:07 PM
11

Agreed, you definitely want to care for yourself too! If you are not taking care of yourself, you won’t have anything left to give or share with others. Good point.
/r/seduction08/05/22 12:27 PM
73

I’ve got this answer and it’s in two parts. The first part is this: People are hard on themselves, especially with their own appearance. I know I wasted years never feeling like I was “hot”. If you take care of yourself reasonably well and dress okay, people will find you good looking enough ( enough that you can stop worrying about it. Don’t let it hold you back.) The second more important part is that attraction has so much more to do then with looks. There is not enough space to post it all h…
/r/seduction08/05/22 11:54 AM
1

:)) Most welcome. Besides “Space” is awesome! I want a picture of what was going on when I was born!!
/r/seduction07/05/22 12:48 PM
3

That is a great gift idea!!! It shows that you took a moment to actually think about him and find something that (1) you though he would like and (2) that was something you shared - your love of space! It’s literally perfect! The picture can be seen as a “gift from a friend” easily. The fact that it’s personalized is because you care about your friends and put some effort into them. Do not ever feel bad about this! It’s a great quality! From the way you started your post I thought you were going…
/r/seduction07/05/22 12:35 PM
1

The first step is almost always to ask yourself why you like her and why you are attracted to her. How you answer will give you your opening sentence (be it online or IRL) and first real conversation. Dig deep. Don’t just say to yourself “because she is hot” as that’s not enough. What else is it that’s personal to her? Is it the way she holds herself with confidence and is often fun to be around? Is it her sense of style that appeals to you and make you want to know more? Figure out why you are …
/r/seduction07/05/22 12:27 PM
1

Hey u/cobraCL I read this book called "The Five Flirting Styles" which is worth reading even thought I don't think it's as scientific as the author portrays. BUT the cool thing to me was how there really are different styles that we all pick and choose and they each have their own benefits. You mention guys can be turned off by being chased and this was (unfortunately) mentioned as being part of the more traditional styles. So a thought for you to consider.... maybe try different styles so you g…
/r/seduction06/05/22 01:51 PM
1

Getting laid a lot may be a form of social proof, but when they call you a "player" it's not a compliment. They are not feeling safe and trust is needed. Being authentic, open, and honest should not be confused with being a teddy bear. Having a solid frame of being comfortable with yourself where you don't need to pretend or front, THAT will be seen as attractive. It's a stronger frame than being a "player".
/r/seduction04/05/22 01:28 PM
10

Giving off “player vibes” is not a good thing. It means you are not presenting yourself as open and honest, like you are hiding your intentions or something. To get past this try developing a style that is more authentic, open, and creates a sense of safety. Authenticity is the opposite of “player”.
/r/seduction04/05/22 01:47 AM
8

Creepy = creating a situation where someone feels the potential for danger and not being safe. This can mean the way you walk up to someone, standing to close or boxing them in, accidentally applying to much pressure to the situation, not leaving when you should, asking for too much.... it can be a long list but it all comes back to the person not feeling safe and comfortable. So the solution is to approach where the other person doesn't feel pressured. The can leave any time they want, turn you…
/r/seduction03/05/22 12:52 PM
10

Quick correction.... women don't like to be ignored. Nobody does. People want attention from other cool people. When we feel pressured, potentially threatened, or not safe (which is what the term "creep" really means, then we put up our protective walls exactly as we should do. We need to keep ourselves safe. So... Just be nice, approach in a non-pressure way that lets the other person drop their guard, and then woo the fuck out of them by giving that person things of value. Tell them why you ap…
/r/seduction03/05/22 12:44 PM
17

Two easy suggestions Learn how to do really good dirty talk! This is an art and is a learned process and technique. Yes you want it to be individual for who you are with but there are some basic idea for learning what someone likes and then knowing how to deliver that so it flips their triggers. Work on becoming more engaging with your regular conversation. You want to fondle the person's brain (their strongest sex organ) a little and so having that deep tone and holding a fun, interesting, sexy…
/r/seduction03/05/22 12:35 PM
-2

No they don’t. Do you just want to be a fleshlight??
/r/seduction30/04/22 01:48 PM
29

It’s so much easier for us to sit at home and masturbate (less time, no drama) BUT we somehow WANT to go out and meet someone and deal with all the time, energy, and effort it takes to do so. So why?? Why are they that important to us? I believe it’s because we don’t just want to cum, but to feel connected to someone! That is what makes it worth the effort! So I’m totally pro-sex and sex-positive and think one night stands can be good positive experiences, but that’s no longer what you are exper…
/r/seduction30/04/22 01:47 PM
1

Flirting is basically you telling the other person “hey, I like you.” It’s admitting that to them. So if you are opening up about your job and other aspects of your life but are not feeling any chemistry, it could be because you are not starting to press the romantic buttons. Try something simple like “You are really interesting! I think I’m starting to like you.” That shows you feel there is potential for more. Later you can increase it and admit you like them, “I’m really glad we went out beca…
/r/seduction29/04/22 03:27 AM
1

Good for you u/Lilyroser! Believe it or not, Psychology Today has a good website for finding people and comparing their skills, areas of expertise, and pricing.
/r/seduction27/04/22 02:25 AM
6

Everyone can benefit from a little therapy so if it’s in your budget, yeah try finding a therapist. Remember too that if you just go every-other-week or monthly, you can still get help and keep it affordable. Also try doing things that are easier for you, baby steps. Maybe just try seeing one friend or doing just an hour of socializing. It’s when you are starting to feel isolated that you should probably reach out for more professional help. You don’t want to feel isolated.
/r/seduction26/04/22 01:40 PM
1

It’s going to be your social skills and not your looks based on what you described. So the good news is you can definitely learn and get better! Make sure you start off by not doing anything that would make the person feel uncomfortable. Watch how you approach, don’t be pushy, do be high pressure. You can’t really start demonstrating any attractive traits until the other person fells safe, comfortable, and receptive. Then you can start to apply the “attraction” techniques we all love so much. Bu…
/r/seduction25/04/22 04:05 PM
7

Do you know the old image of the farmer who holds the carrot on a string in front of the horse to encourage the horse to want to move forward? This is how I often picture sexual tension and how to build it up. The trick is to figure out what the carrot is for the other person. What do they want, crave, and what will motivate them? Once you know this, dangling it front of them will be a very pleasurable experience for everyone. When you are conversing with someone and getting to know them, listen…
/r/seduction25/04/22 04:16 AM
1

Look into Ethical Non-Monogamy. What you are feeling is pretty normal and while many people eventually choose monogamy, a lot of people don’t. There are multiple different non-monogamous structures you can and should look into. Polyamory is a pretty good one that you can steal ideas from and use what fits for you both. My suggestion…. If you cheat than you have to live with feeling guilty, which sucks and impacts other areas of your life. If you are up front about what you are feeling and give h…
/r/seduction21/04/22 02:25 PM
2

Glad it helped. If you take some time to think of the various ways you can help create shared experiences or what you have to offer someone in the ways of experiences, it gives you more to quickly pull from when you are having conversations with someone. You will catch something they say and be able to take that in a direction they care about. Sharing and exploring are what we do with dating and meeting anyone.
/r/seduction15/04/22 03:42 PM
2

The Answer: Figure out what experiences you can give or share with her, that she cares about and really desires. This is worth gold in value! So personally I volunteer in the kink/BDSM community which is all about safety, trust, connection, and shared experiences. So when I meet someone and we want to possibly play together, we start looking for shared interests that we can explore sexually. But so often the thing we settle on will be something new that both of us really craves to explore with e…
/r/seduction15/04/22 01:00 PM
1

So this is a good example of life situations. We all change and our partners change and sometimes, while we may have been really good together earlier, we find later in life we need different/conflicting things. This is going to happen with any long term relationship where you will be faced with something that you never wanted or signed up for. So you all need to sit and talk. Have multiple conversations. The first one just lets her know the issue. Then give her time to think about it and then h…
/r/seduction14/04/22 01:08 PM
3

People! This is a great opportunity to get your eyes in order and look beyond her weight. Those of you who have commented are (1) generally harsh and (2) missing a LOT. Look at her smile and face and tell me what you notice about her personality. u/APBohm I can tell instantly from just these two photos that you have a happy energy that is fun to be around. You are very close with your friends and loyal and value them very much. You also have some body insecurities (since you pasted asking how yo…
/r/seduction13/04/22 01:15 PM
0

Do what you like and be with cool people. That’s what matters.
/r/seduction13/04/22 02:38 AM
44

No no no, please hold up a moment. The way this is stated is a misunderstanding of how "value" works. I also know these concepts are prevalent in the seduction community but they are also outdated and have been updated and refined. Let me begin my saying that much of your value is created. What you want to have to offer someone is not limited to your sex or age. The seduction community exists because it shows how knowledge, skills, and education can make a huge difference. So please don't feel s…
/r/seduction12/04/22 01:16 PM
4

In my experience, what I've heard and witnessed most was that women... Want to be liked/valued for who they are, not their looks. Want you to be honest regarding your intentions, both long term and short term (no surprises of lies). Want you to be trustworthy. Love to be enjoyed/valued/appreciated. Love it when you take the time to notice things that most other people don't take the time to see. Basically these are things all people want, yet as a woman, most guys do not do these things. So you …
/r/seduction11/04/22 01:18 PM
4

Try starting a conversation based around whatever made you want to start chatting with them in the first place. I wouldn't say "You look hot" but dig deep and go with something special about them, like their style or that they look well put together. So if you know why you want to start talking with them, that can get things started. Be curious and study them and look for clues about what they like or may be into. Ask about these. When you are chatting you are literally just trying to get to kno…
/r/seduction11/04/22 01:09 PM
1

Why not change up the way you are approaching to see if a different approach style works better if you or if maybe you blend approach elements to find a better for for you. If you are doing a direct approach, maybe try indirect flirting methods to help them lower their guard. Changing things up may help.
/r/seduction10/04/22 11:14 AM
2

I agree with this post. NRE (New Relationship Energy) is powerful and when we fall for someone we literally can't see everything clearly. This is natural and biological. So as this post suggests, it's important to know that you are experiencing NRE and slow yourself down. Here's a good summary regarding NRE: What is NRE and how to compensate for it.
/r/seduction08/04/22 02:19 PM
5

Remember that you get to decide how you want to treat others. Do you want to think of yourself as a dick or as a good person who helps others? We have much more power when we treat people with respect and kindness, and demonstrate that we have ideals that we live by. Living this way and walking the walk will have you outperforming an assholes.
/r/seduction08/04/22 02:08 PM
7

It's not about looks or money. It is about "giving value" to the other person. If you know why people like you and what you have to offer (fun experiences, humor, teaching them something) then you have something real to start an interaction with. The trick is to get to know yourself and develop the skills to where you have something to give to those you interact with. If you are giving, people will want to be around you. Attraction is not "looks", but what you have to offer and actually help som…
/r/seduction07/04/22 05:18 PM
3

So I'm older and have lived through some of this, but I'm also part of a IRL community where we have people of all ages flirting, finding casual sex partners, and forming long term relationships. meeting each other. So let me share what I've noticed and discussed with some of the people in my community. When we are younger and first starting to exploring sex and ourselves, we probably don’t know what we really want long term, so we experiment and explore. This often means a variety of sexual and…
/r/seduction07/04/22 05:02 PM
13

Flirting, social skills, and your ability to connect with people are like any other job or skill you may have where at first you suck at it, and you gradually getting better and better until you know how to do it almost without thinking. It’s like surfing, where it takes practice. If you are younger and doing direct approaches, yes you will get more rejections. But you will get better. And you will refine your style of what works for you. You will also get better at reading people to where you w…
/r/seduction06/04/22 10:37 AM
1

So I don’t know much about stuttering but is there anything you can do to make that easier for you? Techniques to help you? Or is it just something you have to live with? I think it’s great that you are noticing that some girls do like you and are attracted to you. That gives you a lot to work with. I also want to suggest that while stuttering may be a concern to you, maybe focus on what cool things you can give and share with the person. Meaning what can you do to make the interactions fun? Als…
/r/seduction05/04/22 04:00 PM
0

Hey this may help you out too. I just replied so anther person in this same thread. See above. And yes if you let me know specifics of what you want and where you are stuck, I can try and help you. Just let me know.
/r/seduction04/04/22 06:58 PM
1

Well I think there are a few ways to approach this. I thought I had better notes on the topic but they don't exactly apply. I did find this web link from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America https://adaa.org/tips which gives general advice for coping, such as slowing down, watching your breathing. But I think you are looking for something deeper, related to approaching people or social anxiety. Here are a few ideas that come to mind: Being s bit nervous or awkward can be endearing. …
/r/seduction04/04/22 06:55 PM
2

Think of this team as meaning either "I care" or "I don't care" and then try and apply that to healthy situations. If someone insults you saying "I hate your hair" for example, you have to think to yourself "Do you care" and "Should you care"? If you personally like your hair but the the comment is coming from your grandmother, it may not bother you because she doesn't know much about hair and you like it anyway. But if your barber or hair stylist hates your hair, then you may care and want to l…
/r/seduction04/04/22 12:41 PM
9

A bootcamp can teach you a lot, but dealing with anxiety literally takes time to work through. So there isn't a quick fix for it but you can learn coping strategies to help you deal with it. Therapy is awesome for anxiety. That is the best place to work on your unique situations and work on them. There are probably underlying issues (that we all have) that a therapist can help you become aware of the address. And when you do, I suspect the anxiety will simply fade. Hopefully anyway. Knowing what…
/r/seduction04/04/22 02:09 AM
1

Okay so this comes up all the time in the BDSM lifestyle and we have a process for dealing with it so that everyone feels comfortable. It's called "negotiation". We do this pretty much whenever we want to play with each other. So for example, if two people want to play, then they sit down to talk about what will go on, figure out what you both like (in this case, all three like) and what your hard limits are (boundaries that you don't want to cross.) The point of "negotiation" is to talk before …
/r/seduction04/04/22 01:55 AM
1

So I think what other people think of us does actually matter with how we see/like/love ourselves. If everyone else thinks we are a crappy person, and we tell ourselves that those people are wrong and we are actually great... I don't think we really believe that. So I think we do actually need positive feedback from others to know that we matter. Put a different way, we are a social species and we care about other people because we need them (for survival and well being). So we really can't be i…
/r/seduction03/04/22 05:31 PM
2

I have some ideas, although I don't know many details of the situation... She probably found it cool and flattering that you gave her your number. Nice job. That's probably why she chatted with you later on Insta. However if she unfollowed you, that implies to me that you did something to scare her enough to want/need to unfollow. So the question then is "what did you do?" My guest is you somehow triggered a loss of trust. This could happen if you come across as wanting something (neediness), ac…
/r/seduction03/04/22 02:50 AM
11

This sounds a little like magical thinking to me. You really do have to earn the love and respect of those around you. The seduction community is based on education and working to become a better person. It doesn't happen on it's own, you must work at it. I love the fact that seduction and social skills are learned skills. That shows there is hope and a path to improvement.
/r/seduction03/04/22 02:36 AM
2

Looks help you get your foot in the door, and then it’s your personality that REALLY makes the difference. As long as you show a little effort with how you dress and groom (just don’t be a slob) then you are off to a great start. It’s your personality and social traits that matter WAY more then looks in my experience.
/r/seduction02/04/22 05:50 PM
3

First off nobody likes rejection. We learn how to cope with it instead, but it always has some sting to it. As you develop and have more options or comfort with yourself, the rejection part can go away, but not entirely. You are good to notice the patterns and the need to try something different. I remember really wanting to date someone but the girl not being interested in me at the time. Then I went abroad for 6 months and came back with stories and adventures because I really was doing things…
/r/seduction02/04/22 03:58 PM
3

I'm going to guess this is not being done as a "power play" or to embarrass you. They may be playing with you a bit but it's probably not a bad thing. Let's say you are a bit uncomfortable when they do this and they know it. Perhaps they are flirting with you because they do enjoy you (maybe just as a friend but maybe more) or maybe they are trying to get a bit of reaction from you. I suggest you (1) politely and playfully call out the elephant in the room and (2) maybe admit hot it makes you fe…
/r/seduction02/04/22 02:45 PM
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