TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Exxtraa Archive

View 2 posts and 44 comments by Exxtraa on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
28

Escalation & CalibrationExxtraa/r/seduction22/09/24 10:01 AM
8

Fundamentals Exxtraa/r/seduction15/05/25 09:52 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

They’re not a fantasy. Most girls I’ve slept with have wanted to not use condoms and it’s always me asking. Not sure what country you’re from but it’s prevalent in the uk.
/r/seduction24/11/25 12:36 PM
1

Just to answer your second point, as someone who’s looking for a long term relationship, pretty much most women I’ve dated have only wanted causal sex. It’s rife. I’d actually do anything to go back to how things were. UK based if that means anything. It’s pretty easy to get sex here but try finding a longing meaningful connection 😂
/r/seduction08/07/25 07:52 PM
87

Sounds like you need to do the inner work if a rejection stings this badly. Nobody owes you a date or a drink together and you need to realise that. Whether they’re mid or not. There’s zero expectations. For me the thoughts of ‘what if’ is far greater than any rejection. At least I know I tried if I approach and won’t have to spend days wondering what could’ve been.
/r/seduction19/06/25 07:36 AM
4

The women I see on the streets are 100 times hotter in my city than on the apps. It’s easier to swipe yes, but I don’t think it’s any less exhausting. I swipe no on 1-200 profiles in a row as they’re below standard. Then I have to cultivate the perfect message. And then wait for a reply. It takes time. I’ve got more action from dating apps yes, but that doesn’t mean I won’t not approach someone in the street because of that. If anything I’d be more inclined to approach knowing how limited the po…
/r/seduction16/05/25 02:39 PM
7

Why limit your options? If you use both you have the best of both worlds.
/r/seduction16/05/25 12:55 PM
6

I often wonder if my look is having that detrimental effect on me through the apps. I dress very well, in to designer fashion and have an alternative/hipster look to me (think Scandinavian fashion) and I tend to only match alternative cool girls. None of the basic girls ever look at me. Which sucks as there’s more basic types on the apps than alternative ones.
/r/seduction07/05/25 05:33 PM
14

I’ve kissed most of my dates on the first date and still haven’t seen the majority of them again because they weren’t interested so don’t put too much pressure on a kiss being the be all and end all. It doesn’t mean much. Focus on yourself to not let it bother you so much by rationalising it as not a big deal.
/r/seduction06/05/25 10:05 AM
1

I kind of agree. I dress very well. Quite in to fashion and wear designer clothes (Acne, Our Legacy, Stone Island etc) and not a single woman I’ve been with really cared apart from one girl that worked in fashion so she knew the brands. I always see guys in dead ass outfits with sliders always with hot chicks. It never adds up to me but it’s made me realise they don’t care as much as you think. I dress for myself anyway and it gives me confidence knowing I’ve put together a well fitting outfit a…
/r/seduction30/04/25 07:30 PM
1

For real. Rejection stings for a millisecond in the moment. Heck, most of the time it gives me a buzz that I actually did an approach and doesn’t even phase me. Not doing one though and knowing I’ll never see them again leaves me feeling awful for a week wondering what if….
/r/seduction24/04/25 02:02 PM
18

This. Had 4 dates with a girl before she let me stay over, made her cum 3 times during sex. She wanted to go again the next morning. Again great time. Cuddling all morning. She was really linking her legs in between mine and holding my arms around her. I managed to stay over once more but then she flipped 180 and ghosted me. It’s really a numbers game and you have to keep going.
/r/seduction23/04/25 09:34 PM
2

Just go enjoy yourself. Everyone there is open to being approached. Did my first one a month or so ago and had a great time. There’ll be plenty of socially awkward people there. See someone you like? Just go up and say hi how’s your night going then transition from there. If they’re not interested they’ll likely just make an excuse to move to the toilet etc but will do it politely. It’s the softest rejections you can prob get at these type of events.
/r/seduction21/04/25 02:30 PM
1

I don’t think there was and she was just an avoidant but been hit with a gut punch this morning to see she’s back on hinge. Will that sucks. Wild that we had great sex, made her cum, got along well, and she’d rather push me away and go try someone else. Ffs.
/r/seduction21/04/25 11:20 AM
10

Yeah I’m early 30’s and it’s more childish now than ever before. Never seen it so bad. Was in a LTR and been single 2 years. Having fun but my god it’s a war zone out here. You’d think at this age it would be better 😂
/r/seduction18/04/25 11:49 AM
23

Sure does man. Mine was a complete avoidant. I should’ve listened when she joked about it on date one. But she showed signs of interest and I ignored it. On the last date with her she said something wild too, that she has a thing for doctors. And I’m sat there like ‘I’m not a doctor’ 😂 Probably for the best in the long run. I’ve had the exes come back on the scene too, mad how they drop everything for something that never worked before lol. Hang in there man. We’ve got this. Got to remember we g…
/r/seduction18/04/25 10:12 AM
179

Happens to everyone. It’s not gender specific. Could be 101 reasons. I recently dated a girl for 5 dates. Holding hands, staying over, sex multiple times, cuddling all morning. And then she completely 180 flipped it. Pushed me away and then ghosted me. Zero explanation besides saying her job was making her busy. Went from texting every day to not hearing off her for 4 weeks now. Wild to me but not much you can do unfortunately but move on.
/r/seduction18/04/25 08:21 AM
0

I almost always ignore the auto opening question message prompts from girls and just type what I’d type on hinge (something based on their profile or a unique thoughtful message).
/r/seduction09/03/25 06:04 PM
2

100% this. Just went on 5 dates with a girl and also had sex 3 times then she flaked and also wouldn’t put any effort in to texting in before doing so. She was an avoidant. Not entirely sure what she was looking for but it was certainly nothing longterm.
/r/seduction01/03/25 08:59 AM
11

“Want to grab a drink or coffee?” why does everything have to be over complicated. There is no magic formula or words to say in a correct order to unlock a date. If she’s in to it she’ll accept. If not she won’t. Good luck.
/r/seduction20/02/25 08:29 PM
9

It’s wild. My friend showed me her phone. She joined a hiking group and did an introductory post and had 100 messages off thirsty guys literally begging for attention. She showed me one WhatsApp of a guy she had never met too sending paragraphs begging to meet. It’s crazy out there. It was quite sad in some respects to see how desperate they were.
/r/seduction19/02/25 07:11 AM
3

Usually a day, two at max for me before asking about a second date. Have a plan made to ask her to. Also when sitting at tables, always sit next to them or if it’s a square table sit on the corners so you can be close enough to initiate touch.
/r/seduction17/02/25 12:37 PM
27

Burnout? Depression? Paradox of choice? Too much porn/instagram/social media?
/r/seduction03/01/25 10:34 PM
6

The problem is your swipe is sitting among those other thousand so very unlikely it’ll ever be seen. It also gives them the false abundance so even if you swipe and match and the date goes well, she’s always going to be thinking well what if one of those other ones is even better. It’s a negative cycle loop.
/r/seduction11/11/24 09:30 AM
1

People over think this way too much. Girls actually like to know it’s still on so they can get ready, it probably takes them a couple hours to shower, do their hair and makeup etc. just send a confirmation in the morning. “7 still work okay for later, look forward to it” or even simpler “7 still good for later, see you there”. It’s not needy.
/r/seduction26/09/24 02:02 PM
0

What’s the issue here? this was my recent example. The kiss close has happened at numerous times during other dates.
/r/seduction22/09/24 04:08 PM
1

Thanks some great points here for me to look In to. Appreciated
/r/seduction22/09/24 04:05 PM
1

Yeah I think you’re right that thanks. The more dates I’ve gone in the more I’ve been too focussed on the second date and setting those goals before the first date has even finished. Definitely going to adopt this next time and not care about the outcome besides having an enjoyable evening.
/r/seduction22/09/24 03:21 PM
0

I’ve already said in my post I’ve had previous girls say I was good. I have zero doubts that isn’t the issue here.
/r/seduction22/09/24 01:25 PM
4

Thanks man some good food for thought here for some self analysis 👍 appreciated.
/r/seduction22/09/24 01:09 PM
3

Thanks man. It’s on my profile and it’s on theirs. I’m looking for long term and also short term and the first example above was looking for fun/casual. Which is why I presumed going on a night out with her on a Saturday would have been a sure fire winner but I must’ve dropped the ball somewhere. Any tips or online sources for getting better at less surface level convos?
/r/seduction22/09/24 01:07 PM
5

Thanks mate. Funny you say that my most recent one I had to pull teeth to meet too, should have left it there. Probably has lots of red flags too that i was oblivious to at the time (no hobbies, no interests besides drinking). Suppose if I’m getting to a kiss, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing and assume there’s some other issues going on and just play the numbers game. Cheers.
/r/seduction22/09/24 11:00 AM
15

It’s not difficult. I think if you try to follow the rules it becomes difficult. Yea, don’t be predictable or text when it’s boring. But if you’re vibing on message I see no issues texting them. Girls are all different. You have to judge how it is. I’m messaging two currently. One is just texting to set up plans. The other loves to text and we’re sending big messages (but importantly, matching the vibe/energy of each other) and it’s really fun. It’s nice to get a good bond going I find. It goes …
/r/seduction17/09/24 09:14 PM
8

So how come you’re here asking for advice?
/r/seduction02/09/24 02:39 PM
2

I think the issue is modern dating. You can have a perfect date and unfortunately she’s already swiping on profiles whilst walking back home. It’s a force of habit. They have an illusion of abundance and will always be wondering what’s next. I’ve come to realise dating is a pure numbers game when online. You just have to grind them out whilst remembering to have fun - eventually one will stick.
/r/seduction29/08/24 09:42 AM
3

Disagree with this. It’s VERY easy for a woman to not kiss on a date. They can easily avoid it. Let alone reciprocate a full on make out kiss.
/r/seduction29/08/24 09:40 AM
2

Wish I knew. Women are flakey, have hundreds of options, unsure of what they want. Quite a few I’ve had to end as they weren’t what I’m looking for either. Dating is purely a numbers game until you find a connection that matches both your energy.
/r/seduction27/05/24 08:24 PM
1

Contrary to this 8/10 dates I end up kissing on the first date. I’m UK based so it might be different elsewhere. It happens naturally. For me if I don’t kiss I feel the chance of a second date is a lot slimmer. But even when I do kiss it mostly doesn’t go anywhere as dating is purely a numbers game. What I’m trying to say is, I don’t think it matters either way, as you say, I totally agree in that for me it all comes down to being that alpha/chump and how you’ve come across during the whole dura…
/r/seduction27/05/24 06:15 PM
13

My mantra. I can live with the rejection. But not the regret. Always repeat it.
/r/seduction29/04/24 04:20 PM
5

Agreed. I actually want long term and it’s almost impossible to find nowadays but have had more casual in the recent months than when I was younger. But not sure if that’s because of logistics having my own place now and also more confidence. Always think back to when I was younger and how many wasted opportunities I missed because of confidence 🤦‍♂️
/r/seduction22/04/24 03:01 PM
24

Think it’s more about what you’re passionate about. I have (to me) what I’d consider cool hobbies - mountain bike and race, I review gigs and festivals so get back stage and free tickets, do a little bit of art, play guitar. None have really excelled me in the dating world any more than my normal chat. But the gigs one does help in the fact I’m at a lot of shows so it puts me in a place where there’s lots of people to talk to.
/r/seduction08/04/24 04:38 PM
1

Same lol. I regret not seeing this earlier. So true about keeping your options open. We were 4 dates in and I stopped using the apps or speaking to others. Probably projected some neediness in the situation. Strong post op, appreciated.
/r/seduction05/04/24 11:30 AM
3

Thanks bro. Yeah I’ve been on a few dates in bars where the seating is bad and you’re sat opposite. I always try and get someone I can sit next to them. Allow my leg to touch gauging interest. When she doesn’t pull away escalate from there. Good tips thanks.
/r/seduction08/03/24 09:10 AM
3

How are you all doing that on coffee dates?.
/r/seduction08/03/24 08:33 AM
4

I would honestly say it’s likely not you. I never message saying hi how was your day etc. and get ghosted/no replies 90% of the time. I’m in the uk and feel it’s a lot tougher here than America. Girls speaking to the top 1% of guys. They reply with in-depth messages for maybe 1-2 messages. Then nothing. Besides me messaging in my first message to meet up (which many don’t like, as they at least want to know if you can vibe first) I’m also at a loss. Think this is just the nature of online. A lot…
/r/seduction05/03/24 10:48 AM
2

Thanks for writing this. Some useful tips. Where are you based though? As I feel those messages would never work in the UK. Also most profiles already have the location and home city on them so kinda defeats the point asking where they’re from.
/r/seduction02/02/24 04:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter