TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Factastical Archive

View 0 posts and 255 comments by Factastical on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Jeez man. Can we at least get some good news? I am kidding of course. Your son 18yo at your age is amazing. Maybe just do your own thing with your son until he is out fully? And then bounce? Retired somewhere where she can't find you? Leave her what she deserved and then live the life you deserve? Stay at home mom can remain at home.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 07:26 PM
3

It's not likely you will get answers and of there was something then you would only alert her. Your best and fastest way to find the truth is to give the impression that you do not suspect anything at all. You need to chillax for a while. If there is a tangled web of lies you didn't notice, then time will reveal everything. The fact that she is gaslighting you to make you believe she is scared of you, is a very bad sign. Be careful going forward. Youre missing something crucial. You will find it…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 04:49 PM
3

Let her to the privacy of her mind for a while. Manage your own destructive thoughts better. Avoid her for a bit until you understand what happen. Today you believe there was nobody else. Many of us understand that your description is very familiar. Particularly the way you reinforce your bond. But we know your bond was not as strong as you like to think. You will need to let her go in order to find the truth. And there is a truth you're missing completely today and she is not telling it. You wi…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 04:37 PM
3

That realization is crucial. Don't do the dance ever again
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 03:35 PM
1

They do this on purpose to stall court in the final race. Once youre past custody, the money part goes quickly unless it's very complicated financial trial. Unlike the custody case, there is really not many way to escalate and not possible to continue the silver bullets. So now they have to use more strategic scams with you again being the victim financially. It's all a rouse. A clever game designed for you to play. Like a casino with odds against you but also rigged to keep you engaged. No time…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 01:46 PM
1

How? Like a man. Up and leave if you can. Let her know you're finished.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 01:39 PM
11

You won't be fully over until you get some pussy.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 01:33 PM
17

Yes all very similar stuff. She cheated on you. For me, the story was much worse. We had many kids. I left my home after discovering she is a compulsive liar. I suffered for years in the silver bullet process. Destroyed mentally, emotionally, financially. Eventually I came back a monster and now have an amazing blended family and she is walking on eggshells because it all came out and she lost everyone in her family. She lives with a stranger who she doesn't know yet is also a sick liar. The kid…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 01:29 PM
2

That's a beautiful arrangement of words and you have a great way of looking at it all. But I suspect you haven't been the victim of a pathalogical liar in a silver bullet process. If you had been, you would have been very happy to have fucked the perpetrator. You're definitely right tho. You're just lucky you were not victimized by the ex and by the system that allows lying with absolute impunity. I wish I was granted by God an honest ex wife. But I was handed a compulsive liar in divorce court
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:45 PM
1

You're 100% right and sounds like you speak from vast experience. I went through it. I did cut my losses for the first few years but the mother is and was a pathalogical liar and it took a while for me to get her cornered. Now that she is and has lost the respect of everyone, I am sitting pretty. She hasn't stopped. Still digging that grave of hers. I think I finally got her in near check mate. She lost the custody portion badly despite starting our with a near victory. Now she is doing the same…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:02 PM
2

This is all temporary. Change your situation and approach. You won't change anyone you will need to change how you react
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 05:53 PM
1

Look you are a bit all over the place. Your meds and your psych history are private health info unless it's deemed pertinent to any allegations. Be careful. If you want to grab people by the neck and tell them facts, you have to have a perfect record. Lies and slander are one thing. But if your lawyer is quiting and you have a history of irrational behavior, it will be used against you. You have to remain composed. You will be given but a minute to say your peace. You can correct all the lies in…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 05:13 PM
1

Be careful. You are only untouchable if you are performing. If she relies on your child support, you are employed and the kids are "with you", then you are a king in the eyes of the court. If you're not, don't do this. Sit down and say nothing. I am only free because I perform. If I had been non performing, I would have been arrested long time ago just for stating facts.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 05:07 PM
4

Don't get it twisted. The shrinks want you to believe the kids will suffer if the family is broken. That's not true at all. I am a walking talking example of the worst silver bullet process in one of the worst examples of bitter divorces and the kids are doing phenomenal simply because I made it all into a comedy show. The countless CPS agents, the false police reports and eventually sherriffs and multiple orders of protection proven lies. I took it all and made it funny every time. And that's h…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 04:14 PM
2

If you have proof of alienation it may be actionable but to what end? Nobody going to force a 13yo to come see you. I had a similar issue at first with my then 11yo. It didn't change until she met my GF, and at the time her kids, one of whom was also 11yo. It bothered me for a while that the only reason we are close today is because of the new blended family. Because alone and by myself, I am just not that much of a crowd pleaser. It took me years to understand that it takes a village to raise a…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 04:05 PM
-8

This is a rather different experience in terms of the wife's game plan. Very unusual. Your lawyer will tell you not to leave the house. I will tell you not to listen to your lawyer in this regard and to listen to yourself assuming the kids are too young to make decisions? How old are they? The stay at home mom will get everything she wants. So playing a strategic court clerk circle jerk against her won't accomplish anything other than loss of money.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 02:53 PM
1

The OP and most of the posters here mention infidelity.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 02:47 PM
2

Tweens and teens. The 10 yo is the most astute of all. We have a huge blended family. How did the 13 yo get alienated so easily? Something is missing. A 13yo would not be easily alienated. I am guessing the 13yo is a female? There is something more crucial than mommy's alienation. Alienation alone is often unsuccessful.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 02:26 PM
2

The best thing that happen to me was letting my kids know that I am ok with them not seeing me in my terrible state and that my doors are open. A few years later as they aged and my youngest turned 9, their pathological mom who fired silver bullets for years got ripped apart by her own kids. They knew all along something was wrong. Just took time and age to really reveal to them what mommy tried to do all the years. I don't know how you need to work it out with your son. I chose just to be hones…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:53 PM
1

I am sorry what? You blame yourself for her affair? Even if you cheated on her first, she has a duty to leave your ass and not cheat back. Retribution is not justifiable in a marriage when especially kids are involved. You signed a marriage contract and part of it is to be HONEST
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:38 PM
2

You raised your son. You're an incredible dad. Few of us have the privilege of being father teressa. That's not a bad thing. That makes you amazing
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:33 PM
0

I am shocked you got down votes. You state the absolute truth. I may disagree with the cut your losses part but what you said is right on
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:19 PM
6

How old are the kids? Do the kids want to move with them? Forget the courts. The child advocates. What do the kids want. Absent guilt absent the fact that they will be missing their life with you. What do the kids want?
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:18 PM
1

Same story for me except the sister and entire family from her side were forced to go through me to see the kids. The ex still tells people that I caused a rift between her and her family. The lies and dellusions are a sight to read
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:13 PM
4

I wanted to address something that you said incomplete. ""The leeches (Judges, Lawyers, Therapists, Legal system will want to bleed you dry by leveraging your kids against you) The system gets paid by you fighting for you children."". This is absolutely right. But you can end their control very quickly if your kids are mature enough to notice what's happening and you are able to put a wedge between your kids and the child advocate imposed by the courts. At first the child lawyer enjoyed full con…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:10 PM
1

All the same for me but what really made me a nice monster was finally starting up after years of the silver bullet process. After I proved her a liar. I stood up after sitting on my hands for years. I tore Into these agents of the court so fucking hard you can feel a pin drop. They looked like the life was sucked out of them. It felt incredible after being victimized by countless false police and sheriff's complaints for years. When I told them that they all knew what she did and they did nothi…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:00 PM
8

I left a pathalogical liar and cheat. 4 years later after a multi year long silver bullet process with countless false police and sheriff's complaints, my new blended family is doing great. She lost the respect of all her family for it and many other things. The kids judged her some but not fully as I kept most things from them despite them withessing the bullets for years. I never escalated or filed anything. Ripped apart the lawyer, the child advocate and the clerk who did not act impartial. S…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 03:32 AM
0

That's your son bro. You offered a golden parachute in the art of war. She took it. No need to escalate further. You won't get revenge for the silver bullets either. The judged don't care. Your son however will remember that you raised him. Take solace in the fact that you already won and you had to do nothing at all. Never escalated never lied?
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 03:23 AM
2

I am really sorry you stayed. That wasn't just a bad decision, it is also financial suicide. You are on the hook to this stay at home mom for life. She won't just get half of everything. She will likely get half of your salary. Before you leave her. Before you become destitute for the sake of a liar and life long cheat. Talk to a lawyer. I have considered the same thing when I discovered my Ex is a liar and cheat. I lasted 3 weeks there in my own home. So I am well aware of what you went through…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 07:51 PM
3

You don't have to. Stop punishing youreslf
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 10:31 PM
7

Unless you have tiny kids you can stop co-parenting if you want to. Nobody (not even a judge) can impose this. You can stop talking to her as soon as the kids are old enough to have phones. Again assuming you want to and assuming she don't try to gatekeep the kids from you, which is alienation. It sounds like you are both civil now. Wait until she moves a new dude into your house or you find a new woman. You may want to reconsider your will to talk
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 10:30 PM
-1

Evidence of what? Nothing happen here. There is no crime. ROFR is a god given right. You need not pay a lawyer to enter it into a contract. This is implied in every state. Unless you have an order of protection on you with a stay away, you can go pick up your kids anytime they call you to. Who is going to say otherwise? A judge? How does that work? "Sir you have been found in violation of picking up your kids when they were left unattended and called you to pick them up"? What? I repeat. If you …
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:32 PM
0

I don't understand this. You're the father. Your kids come out to the car and leave with you. As far as I know in every state (from my own experience) police do not make any decisions on custody paperwork. That's up to a judge. Which is exactly what happens to me numerous times. The ex wives moron boyfriend gets out of line, the kids tell him to bounce and then they call me to pick them up. I meet them down the block and I take them to my house. Then I let things cool down and the pathalogical l…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:21 PM
2

I wish I had that realization my first year away. 4 years later I am doing great but the panic and trauma are still palpable. Some people can't be alone and can't do things alone. I am one of those
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 01:29 PM
-3

I am sorry for you choosing to be alone. You dont have to indulge in your trauma. You can make the best of it. It's rather easy. You just have to keep trying through the failures until you find success
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 01:14 PM
7

They can't do that without your kids concent. So if the kids want to be with you, there is no need for legal action
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 09:22 PM
2

Meds don't help a victim of the courts. Meds don't help loneliness and loss. Meds don't help batling the silver bullet process. The only thing that helps is being honest and finding a way to cure your anger and resent. For me it was as simple as speaking my mind and proving it all a lie. The rest was just having fun and creating a "new" family. Being able to sleep at night is as simple as having the ability and capacity to stand by the truth. Fuck the judges and clerks if they allow lying with i…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 05:31 PM
1

That would be ideal but the courts don't make money by being fair. The lawyer make money and the way to make it is with escallations. The system is not fair and not equitable as much as that is the prime directive. If this process was really in "the best interest of the subject children" then judges would send the stay at home wife to work and figure out who has what and how it's fair to pay. If you have an appendage attached between your legs, get the concept of fairness out of your mind. Nobod…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 05:24 PM
0

The fun parent is the one who parents. I don't understand that comment. The stay at home mom who takes the kids to doctors and claims to be a hard worker is not the parent. The parent is the one who works into the grave and finds time to be a blast. It ain't the posturing liar who goes to parent teacher conference and pats herself on the back for it. That is a cancerous mentality to entertain
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 02:31 PM
4

Absolutely! But it depends on the 9 year old. My 9yo is the youngest of 3. But he was the most vocal. I had to wait and chill for years until he was old enough. Abused by the system and over a dozen silver bullets in that process. Eventually when I noticed his personality and desire to express was formed finally, I started talking. I removed the veil from the courts and the silver bullet process they allowed and encouraged. Their eyes opened wide. I even explained the judges order "do not discus…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 01:37 PM
3

The only difference in your story to mine are the kids. Read my recent posts to understand. You're issues and anger are not due to the wife. Your issues is from the abusive system. You never fought back. You never stood up to the lawyers, child advocates and authorities dispatched in the silver bullet process? Your issues are not related to the loss of money. You will need time to regain the kids. It's incredibly difficult to lose them more than 50% of the time. I lost them at first. Years later…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 01:21 PM
1

It was like that for me. Until I woke up and started talking. Told the child lawyer, the judges and the clerks no more. Waited a few years until the kids were older and I was more stable. Then one day I just let the nasty out. Told these agents of the court they are out and no more impositions. Stopped co parenting. Sat the kids down and had a talk about court and it's infinite need for money. Did everything against the courts impositions. I did not alienate the mom even though she did, and dese…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 01:07 PM
3

It didn't work because youre not depressed. You are abused and you never fixed the abuse. You will need to settle the score. You won't ever get better unless your abusers know that you ain't taking it no more. A woman helps the sadness and loneliness. Hopefully a good one but even just for funsies (I don't like that personally but most men do)
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 12:57 PM
3

Aha. Read my reply above then. I know EXACTLY how you feel. You're not depressed. You're fucking angry. You should be and there are methods for release. Don't get anger and depression conflicted. The pent up anger will cause your depression. You will need to let it lose or suffer
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 12:54 PM
0

Yes I had it for the first year though just thoughts never real consideration. Went through a very high conflict divorce with a pathalogical liar and cheat. Had to reduce how often I saw the kids that first year because of the constant panic attacks. The best thing I did was to ignore the lawyers and parrots here and left my house immediately into roach motel hell. I started dating and praying at the same time. God did bless me with a new woman who became a great friend and then a lover. She pul…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 12:52 PM
1

You were married for days? There is no communal property. It's all separate
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 08:43 PM
1

No that is not abandonmen. You're doing great already. That's phenomenal. What else? Is she likely to escalate? Or it is cordial?
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 08:39 PM
1

Ooof this is rough. The kids are really young. This is less about what you should do and more about what you are doing and how you are doing? How you holding up? Avoid her and the new guy. Don't get into confrontation. If she is a liar and tends to manipulate be VERY careful. It only takes a report of her being scared to get a restraining order. Don't get one or it will cost you dearly even if you can prove it a lie. Don't talk to the new boyfriend other than hello and goodbye. She is going to t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 08:38 PM
2

I lasted 2 weeks in my marital home after discovery. I couldn't bare it. Leaving and suffering for a year alone in roach motels unable to see my kids most of the time was better than "don't leave the home". I don't understand the men that stay. I understand the logic and calculated approach but the 2 weeks I stayed after discovery ruined me more than the dibilitating year I spent in recovery in roach motel hell.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 04:51 PM
3

In USA Infidelity is meaningless. I allows no concessions at all and is ignored by the courts. Honestly I think you are over reacting to your inevitable plight. You will be fine. You will do great. Your English is astounding. You are smart to plan this out though if you can manage the posturing and pretense. I left right away into roach motel hell. Panic attacks galore for the first year. As I started to regain my footing and started taking the kids more and more, she started the silver bullet p…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 04:21 PM
3

Same story here but a very happy ending. Silver bullet process for years with too many kids in tow. Eventually I ripped apart the court clerk circle jerk, the lawyers, the child advocate for everything they allowed her to try and for all the lies with total impunity.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 02:32 PM
5

Same thing at first
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 12:37 PM
3

Still the same holds true. If she crazy she will act out her lawyers desire to make more money at the cost of escallating in court. So be careful
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 02:31 PM
9

I assume your son is with you and generally disowned her? If yes, she is going to come after you hard when the dust settles. Prepare yourself. She is a nut. My advice is to stay away very far. Don't talk, don't visit and don't engage even for divorce. People like her end up filing the silver bullet process.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 01:42 PM
6

Narcisism is fed and thought. It doesn't just happen
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 09:41 PM
13

This is why I was looking for a single mom. Found the right one. Hard worker. Beautiful. Wild and exciting. Just perfect. Doesn't take nothing from me. Adds to the collective blended family despite earning a fraction while working as many hours. You're wrong. These quality women are definitely out there
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 09:03 PM
2

Yes you should mediate yourself if you know the laws and expectations. You can use Setient AI to become and expert. A few hundred hours reading precedent cases is enough for you to rep yourself outside of a trial setting. I did this all the way up to the 4th court meet. We have had about a dozen court meets since and 2 dozen adjournment. Remember this term "court clerk circle jerk". If you understand this term you can make that decision. Don't go into trial on your own though. Once the high conf…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 08:57 PM
1

Mostly good advice for this particular situation but I see the same boilerplate advice given to everyone which is really wrong. Some of the things you say here can be deemed antagonistic. You need to add "if she lies to the sheriff's about DV, then no proof will help you". The proof is worthless that she is a liar. Once a DV charge is filed, nobody cares about your proof. The chances of you being able to present your proof that she made it all up is unlikely as these types of orders are withdraw…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 03:09 PM
2

Be careful. If she tried it once and failed, she will make a go of it again very likely. Dont install visible cameras. That will be deemed antagonistic. Stay away from her. Don't raise your voice. Don't be drunk. Just do your best not to get ejected on false complaints. While you live in hell, make the best of it. Gym, school, work. Try a trade school. You're really young. I started over multiple times in my life. At 35 I quit a long time profitable biz and restarted from scratch. At 40 I find o…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 02:51 PM
3

Literally everything you just said is wrong for you and the kids. Don't make a fucking move without a clear mind telling you it's ok. You gonna be like this for a year give or take. There are not too many stay at home dads here. I hate saying this because I am the one who usually says lawyer are worthless and give bad advice half the time in high conflict divorce. But in your case, just relax, don't make any decisions without a lawyer and don't get into any accidents. If you drive drunk you gonn…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 01:29 PM
1

Dude half of everything she has is yours. What are you talking about?
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 01:22 PM
1

You can use it yourself. If their numbers are off, you can ask them to adjust with the veiled threat of escallating litigation if they refuse. The more prepared you look the less likely they will try to take advantage. If you have 1 child and you make near or over 6 figures, then 1100 per month is right inline, if you live in a state that determines child support by who makes more money. Assuming the kids are split evenly overnight. In my state where we split evenly, I have to pay her 40k pretax…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 01:06 PM
2

Let's unpack this; 1. Alot of things are in your head and not in reality. Like your older daughters turning on you is very unlikely. 2. It's not a good look to be a stay at home mom. Even worse a stay at home dad. You will need to change that quick and your wife will need to pay for it and your ability to get half your kids as well as your lawyer. I recommend you don't stay a SAhD beyond a short period. Your kids will judge you eventually. That's just not a thing you can ever say with a straight…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 12:54 PM
1

Most not all. That's a great thing. When you find that needle in a hey stack, you know you got something potentially.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 12:42 PM
2

You lucky dog
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 12:40 PM
1

What can you get from a separation agreement at 500 hourly, that you can't get for free? I never understood why men do this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 05:18 AM
2

You're a bit fresh that's why you feel this way. I had panic attacks my first year when the kids were with me. Had to lock myself in a bathroom or anywhere I could have privacy. When they left, rage, disgust and all sorts of intense feelings. Met a woman. Started a new blended family. The rest is history. You feel this way because you were wronged. Because you deserve 100% not 50%. Because you don't know what the future has in store? What if you knew that a year from now, you will be happy?
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 02:31 AM
6

A woman who hates a screen
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 12:31 AM
1

How did it turn out? I would love to know
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 07:42 PM
1

That may have been the issue. He wanted to fuk you in all directions like the porn he watches but expected mother Teresa in bed. You may have ruined his perception of you. Just a guess
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 05:27 PM
1

Then there is no custody agreement. Even if you have a custody agreement, and your kid runs to your home on mom's time, you can send the cops packing in most or all states when moms called them to retrieve her. At 12yo your kid is mature enough to make decisions. The custody orders are rather irrelevant and disregarded when your child has a mouth and the will to express it. This happen to me with all my kids. The best thing I ever did was to shine light on the court clerk circle jerk and drive a…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 05:25 PM
3

You have to talk to your child directly in private. She is 12 and she knows what's up. It is up to her. It's not up to you. It's not up to moms. It's not up to the court clerk circle jerk. Not up to some parenting guide that imposes "coparent or else". Not up to the judge, the clerk or the child lawyer. If you let these strangers into your mind and your kids life at a mature age of 12, it is on you. YOU will have the privilege of paying a divorce attorney 500 hourly to interpret the approach you…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 05:01 PM
1

Dating after leaving a pathalogical liar was scary fun. I ve been together with my GF 4 years now. It saved my life being able to build a new foundation. I won't ever Mary again with the government. I will Mary civilly without signing anything. Spread the word. Relationships are awesome. Signing a contract with the government can be hell on earth. Just don't and problem solved
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 01:59 PM
1

I had a talk with them 3 years after leaving. I did not want to. I was forced because mommy started alienating me and started the silver bullet process hard. They knew all along as it turned out. Your kids know most likely. I doubt you will surprise them
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 10:08 PM
2

Yep pretty much the same script for me except the court let her withdraw. She was advised by her lawyer correctly here.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 08:32 PM
2

I regret their mom trash talking me and trying to alienate me and the silver bullets. It backfired wildly but some things came out that I tried hiding for years. Silly me thought the kids didn't know anything. they did. My daughter even remembers seeing mommy sneak men in while I was away. I never put them into therapy. They all perform well, very happy and they have me to kill them with sarcasm and humor when things get serious.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 08:09 PM
2

I am sorry that happen to your child. I tried to avoid the kids finding out about moms "proclivity". I did a standup job of avoiding moms name and alienating her. The kids stay there with her mostly due to guilt. She is a manipulative surupticious cunt. I doubt they will stay there too much longer 50% of the time. Eventually when the divorce is final, I will stop bleeding money to lawyers and will upgrade my living conditions to be nearly equal and everyone will have a bedroom instead of shared …
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 06:30 PM
3

My boss called me as I was about to knock on the affair partners door. I was gonna tell his wife everything I found. My boss called because he knew I was fucked up. I picked up the phone and he asked what I was doing. I told him in one sentence. He said "walk away, take a week off, take a month off if you need to, sleep on it then come back another day". Best advice ever. For the next few years, I used this to blackmail a pathological liar again and again. She reciprocated later with the silver …
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 03:00 PM
3

It wasn't when I found out about the cheating. It wasn't when I found out about the non stop lying. It wasn't when she ran for the bank and cleaned me out. It wasn't when I ended up in a roach motels, sometimes sleeping in my car while having the ability and the backing to avoid the squalor. It often felt like I was punishing myself. The constant panic attacks that ended in a bathroom leaning against the door, my eyes like a hydrant without much thought to cause the floods. It was when her own f…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:47 PM
8

You love her? What exactly do you love about a worthless, lazy and uninspired woman? Your kids will understand and cope just fine. How will you?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:37 PM
2

I am now 4 years into divorce. I started a new family. I live in squalor by comparison. She moved a boyfriend into what is still my home. That prick with her tried alienating me hard. They got in trouble with me and the kids. I never persued their evil deeds and plots legally. The kids witnessed it all and I got every opportunity to show my kids how not to behave without saying much of anything. Years of the silver bullet process backfired HARD. I never sent a complaint. Just sent her messages t…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:34 PM
3

Buddy she don't feel the same for you. You are free. A lifetime of new experiences and discoveries await. Don't suffer too long. This is a blessing for you. Don't be a romantic.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:24 PM
7

I got way worse silver bullets but was able to flip the script. My kids are all tweens and teens. All witnessed the silver bullet process with over 15 visits by agents to my home to serve another set of complaints and violations all proven lies without any punishment. I figured out early on that I need to put distance between my kids and the courts. They figured out on their own that their mommy is a liar and told me about the alienation that was occuring constantly. Instead of filing complaints…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:14 PM
19

Marriage rates fell like a rock. The concept of starting a family has been relegated to just fucking around and finding out. The government will need to change but it won't. Divorce is super profitable. Since marriage rates are down, they answer the ever declining contracts by creating the silver bullet process. Imagine 2 people getting divorced with "the best interests of the kids" being the prime directive. While at the same time, the wife is shown again and again that she can make it real dif…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 01:03 PM
1

Excellent reply. You forgot one important thing. "In the best interest of the child" is hardly a common goal and far too many judges just don't give a shit for real. This is a for profit business. Don't make it sound more noble than it is. It's a meat grinder unlike any other.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 04:59 AM
1

Youre exactly right. There is a time and place for everything. I did this all my life wherever I was. I paid for it many times because it wasn't always the right time and place. I have the scars to tell the stories. Never allow liars, cheaters, manipulators and those who defend them for money, to do their deeds. Your kids will follow suit.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 04:48 AM
-1

She hit the child? I missed something. But you're on the hook for her mistakes
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 01:19 AM
2

I had a child lawyer that allowed the wife's new boyfriend to stay after severe alienation and numerous verbal altercations that constituted verbal abuse. The kids went to the child lawyer and got him kicked out. He then blackmailed the kids with a puppy (threatened to take it with him). They had an about face then next day and the child lawyer let him stay on a trial basis. The next day when I met the child lawyer and confronted her in front of the clerk she replies "you married her". I replied…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 01:11 AM
2

What? You used AI to figure out who did what and what went wrong?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 12:55 AM
-4

Let me get this straight. You married a fucking nut for 9 years. She starts acting out. You file a a DV. Who do you think is going to pay for that losers lawyers if you are out earning her? Thats YOU! She gonna gave YOU pay for HER lawyers. And even if you prove she hit you, that judge is somewhat likely to look at you like a pussy. Not always but that's a real possibility. What exactly did you accomplish by filing a DV?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 12:51 AM
1

Its all for a good cause tho. 100k to get divorced for sure is in the best interest of the kids. I had cops and sheriff's at my home more than 10 times while kids were here always in their best interest. When all the lies finally came out, mommy was allowed to withdraw also in the best interest of the kids. The kicker really got me tho. In the kids best interest, I am not allowed to sue her for lawyers fees in family court related to orders of protection. Because you know that would stop real wo…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 01:00 AM
0

It may pay to wait. You are at 20 years. You're on the hook for at least half in support. Set your self up well for your departure. You have time. I hope you operate ethically While you plan your exit. Because if you know you're leaving for sure and you string her along, then you're not very honest either. She would do it to you. You don't have to
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 09:41 PM
4

Did something "different" happen? Did you ask him something he may not have experienced before? Did you get more freaky than he expected? If he was into it as much as you think he was, he would be coming back for dinner and a movie, every other night. So something is missing here.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 09:34 PM
1

Nothing happen here. Remember this term "court clerk circle jerk". You're playing a chess game where YOU are the pawn.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 07:48 PM
2

You're wasting your time. She won't ever be punished by a judge for lying in a form. Don't pay too much attention to this. You will need to depose her in person, get it on record, before a judge slaps her. Whatever lies she puts down on paper, will never be considered and she won't ever be punished for paper lies.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 07:46 PM
2

You can't do that. The judge will fuck you up if you have a penis attached for doing this. This is bad advice. Do not reduce your pay on purpose
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 07:23 PM
3

Yes the same bastards that tell you "don't leave the house", "don't date", "don't talk to kids about court", know very well that a scared man, an insecure man, a man alone, is a perfect victim to milk with unending escallations by the wife. I feel bad for the men that got weak knees. The suffering they endure for years was just a quick month for me. I left right away. Anytime I hear a lie, a deceit or just bad input from anyone, my hands start talking with my finger pointed right at them. Even t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 07:19 PM
2

Because lawyers sing a song to women. Women are far more gullible than men generally. It only takes one of the partners to escalate for both. So if you convince a woman that her potential for gaining the children more than 50% may benefit her financially, all you have to do then is convince her that she is scared and she needs to protect her self and her kids from a scary husband. Filing these restraining orders is super simple. They will always get approved if she indicates some event 4 years a…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 07:06 PM
9

I don't know of any straight man that would be confused by good sex. Something is missing here
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 06:10 PM
3

Cheaters cheat, liars lie, manipulators manipulate. This is the reason that I don't allow people like this in my life with the exception of children. Once I discover the grift, I am out, peace. No 2nd chances. The ONLY exception I make are to people who lie out of fear. A white lie I will pardon. A lie that took anything from me, including mental anguish, is a cardinal sin. No 2nd chances for those who seek to prosper at your loss
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 05:49 PM
10

Go get laid. Go have fun. Go bang. Go travel and vacation. That will definitely take your mind off it
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 05:44 PM
1

If you have no separate property before marriage (you will have to prove it) then just give her half. However half works out. Convert assets to dollars and offer half
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 12:48 PM
1

Be careful. If don't matters if you stay there or elsewhere. If she is gonna lie, she will screw your life anywhere. The good news is that no judge will cuff you or do anything that may detail your life as long as you are the defacto child support provider. They don't want warm bodies in the welfare state and they certainly don't want you in prison on what is usually false charges. It's a game they play. This is how the system is designed. No lawyer will ever tell you this. These discussions are…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 12:47 PM
1

How much is everything? Divide it by half and give it except separate property
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:24 AM
9

I hit the gym, I got therapy that didn't work, I reconnected with some friends and lost others. I started dating right quick after finding out she is a liar and cheat. Man that was fun. I made another family and a blended one. Memories for a lifetime. Go make some too
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 12:18 AM
6

Bro... You don't need her to validate it. If she doesn't then she is a devil. If she does, then she deserves divorce with a trial period of being honest to remain on cordial terms if she had your kids. If she didn't have your kids then you a fool for sticking around. If you go back with her, these are the things you won't ever feel again: 1. You won't ever feel at easy when she is texting. Even a smile at a phone may set you off for years. 2. You won't ever be at ease for years when she is away …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 12:14 AM
2

That's your kid buddy. You may not have made her, but you raised them. Once you let her mom go, your relationship will likely be severed
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 08:57 PM
7

This is a trend now, it won't be for long because marriage rates are falling like a rock
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 12:18 PM
1

I had the experience of being the recipient of countless false CPS complaints, countless false police reports, a false TRO and countless subsequent false violations. The judge honored them no problem. In the end the judges learned it was all a lie perpetrated by a pathological liar. Nothing happen to her other than a very expensive multi year long silver bullet method. Not even a slap on the wrist from the courts and a terrible reputation everywhere. The kicker? The kids judged her for it all. N…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 12:01 PM
1

You have to start providing. You need to get up on your feet. The kids will judge you if you don't. That's just the way things work
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 10:09 PM
1

This advice is sound in many ways except one. This is how this court clerk circle jerk game is played. You can play it this way. There is another way to play it with a 10 year old. Be honest. Or play the court clerk circle jerk. I never once escalated in court. Had many reasons. Legit child abuse from my wife. I didn't . The kids came and complained and I handled it within our family. I spoke with them. Helped them develop a way to right the problems with moms when it was possible. My biggest mu…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 07:02 PM
1

Same shit here. False complaints non stop. False cop reports. False order of protection. False violations. Proved it all a lie too. She didn't even get a slap on the wrist. I figure out the game early on. I never complained and never escalated. Just sat in defensive posture for years. Refused the courts impositions. Refused to do parent. Refused access to kids on my time. Spoke honestly to the kids. Always maintained "you the kids decide your parenting time and not some court stranger". That's h…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 06:48 PM
7

Until signed by a judge in contract, any agreement is not binding possibly. She can change her mind. Avoid lawyers. If she is honest and not likely to lie, then try mediation. Mediation does not work with liars. If she is a liar, forget mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 06:42 PM
2

With a 10 yo this is poor advice. Assuming he loves you and he will say "I want to split my time evenly", you can do as you please. Staying there does not help you or your son. Eventually she will want exclusive use and your lawyer will bill you to make that happen and to sort out all the other acrimony that happen as a result of you staying there. Tactically staying there "may" help to force her to settle. But that really depends on far too many factors. Your lawyer probably told you not to lea…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 06:31 PM
1

I did self rep at first. Got a lawyer eventually just for moral support. I don't really listen to him. Just to my own thing and tell everyone to fuck off. My kids are teens and tweens. I placed the power of decision making with them early on. The courts lost all the power to threaten me when it became apparent that my kids will impose all scheduling.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 06:24 PM
1

It did happen to me. Exactly the same way. I left of my own behest. Never forced out by anyone. Started in roach motel hell all alone. Kids stayed with my ex pathological liar. I would see them one day a week on average. As I stabilized and began dating rather quickly, I started making plans to move closer. 1.5 years out while still representing myself, I finally moved my new family withing walking distance. Bam as soon as I moved she started with CPS. Then she sent the cops on false reports. Th…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 05:09 PM
4

Can you elaborate on what you did? I couldn't understand anything
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 04:47 PM
0

Wtf why do I keep seeing these posts. As clever and vindictive as it sounds, this is not "in the best interest of the kids". Kids need at least one rational and performing parent. To have two self serving adults in their life is not to children's benefit. Let the wife do the dirty deeds. It is the father's job to be the stoic, rational minded provider that never escalated and always keeps it funny. Because in a contentious divorce, you lose when you take this process seriously. Yes if you have t…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 04:43 PM
1

You should take a vacation. You're spiraling. You have kids. You really want to be filing ROs against each other?
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 04:32 AM
1

That's not so bad actually. I hear third times the charm.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 04:19 AM
3

I was in custody battle for 4 years. I did not attend every medical appointments before divorce. Why would I after.? I fought the silver bullet process for 3 years. You're not going to win anything other than a lottery. Get this thought out of your head that you will take primary. If you got a dick attached, the only way to gain primary is if your wife has an overdose or some other eggregious safety violation. Things like alienation, lying, manipulating, deceiving, calling the cops with false co…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 01:26 AM
1

That's a very likely outcome
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 05:11 AM
3

You sound very familiar. You don't have that option You do have an option to go from zero to hero. Much easier to do that than go from hero to zero. So what prospects can you come up with? What is holding you back from getting out of your gloom?
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 05:03 AM
4

You lucky man. It ruined her relationship in my case also but I didn't dare take the kids beyond 50%. I should have but I just couldn't live with ramifications. She would fail without the kids 50% and my child support that she uses mostly on herself
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 06:15 PM
1

Your son will forgive you for choosing work. You need not worry about that. It's not like you're disappearing for a month or year. It's not at all a poor reflection on you. Kids understand and they do appreciate the benefit of having a go getter for a father. He won't hold overtime against you ever. Get rid of that guilt your holding onto. It was dibilitating for me and it took me years to get off it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 02:13 AM
1

9 months is a stretch. But if you're early on into it then see if it turns better. If not then give 1 month notice
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 02:02 AM
1

Questions; Are your boys highly functional? Meaning they can easily express them selves? Are you near their "home"? Do you have family/relatives? Can you still reach the boys freely? Other than the bang bang have you any priors for mental health?
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 06:58 PM
1

Hey Let's start with you breaking this post up later. One paragraph at a time. You need to concise this a bit. You will need to contact the bar and ask them for help. I do have questions; Updateme
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 06:30 PM
0

You have to finish the project you started for your friend. You should date single moms against all advice. Find the right one with her own kid of a similar age, and you may start a new blended family.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 04:35 PM
3

I am sorry that happen to you. I felt this pain for my kids but most of it was in my head. Most of it was lies from my pathological ex. She tried to convince me of terrible things and she tried the same with the kids. It was all a lie. I am glad I caught it. I am glad my kids caught it. We are very close. I hope you give your son another shot. I hope you can have a candid conversation about what happen and how you would like to change that. Don't let the anger of betrayal separate you from your …
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 04:29 PM
2

I had some really bad stuff happen including a silver bullet method that lasted years. Once I proved eggregious manipulation and alienation, I did not escallate in court. I sat my kids down. Ignored the courts directives. We spoke candidly. I proved my version of truth and hers another lie rather quickly. The kids from then on came to me with whatever crazy stuff their mom tried to do. I never escalated in court because more often than not, it goes nowhere. Also alienation is ONLY alienation and…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 01:50 PM
2

You should be perfectly honest with the kids same way you are here. This way she can never make you the bad guy.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 01:31 PM
1

My Ex is a pathological liar and cheat. Really the worst human I encountered. I think it would be terrible for my kids to really understand the depth of her illness. I shy away from showing them exactly who she is. They see it them selves often. We split custody 50/50. I think she is a terrible mother and really is a low performer however I think they would be worse without her. Whatever your ex may have done, deserves another chance. Your son should keep a rope open for here to find the way bac…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 01:27 PM
4

The silver lining is you're free after. You can level up many times between now and then. Stop wallowing. Go and try new things.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 02:21 AM
4

You're going to have to provide some details. You are a stay at home dad?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 12:49 AM
1

A year is immediate? What? That means I am flash in recovery post divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 12:28 AM
1

It can be . It also may not be.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 05:17 PM
2

At 14, girls are all sorts of messed up. Not all but most.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 04:02 PM
2

Again with the "don't leave your house"? Guys it's not true nor sound.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 11:48 AM
1

You would be in a better position if you didn't believe you're a victim here. It's not relevant what she did and how much she lied. It's allowed and fair game in court. The only thing she can be found guilty of is neglect. The fastest way to get there is something like an overdose or provable neglect. "She doesn't buy the kids food" can only be deemed neglect if there are obvious signs. If you aim to prove she hurt the kids by lying then youre barking up a tall tree. I have learned to let most o…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 02:42 AM
1

When was the trust set up? If outside the marriage then you both have to agree to have it heard by this judge I hope though that can vary by state. He is under no gun to accept it either. He can decline and if he likes to vacation then he just may. Maybe talk it over with her. Maybe invest it into bonds for now. Why pay the lawyers today when you may be able to settle it for free after years of interest?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 09:34 PM
15

You don't need to prove anything to anyone. N judges don't care about who did what. Your story is suspicious. I am finding hard to believe that she made a mistake like this and took it so far without proof. Something missing here. Your comment also is a bit off. She has you all wrong but you have proof that your sidepiece was elsewhere? How and why do you have this proof? It don't matter. You're done. There is no going back. You need to move on and quickly. Start by eating. Then progress to enjo…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 08:55 PM
1

Can you get divorced without settling this trust? If yes then it's extra marital. Meaning it's not part of the judges discretion. N
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 08:01 PM
2

The problem is that in order to get that 100k or portion of, you will need to pay for at least another 50 hours of your lawyers time. It's just not enough money and you already got the kids and child support. At this point you're going down a rabbit hole that may lead you exposed. One day mommy may come back in a better place with a renewed vigor to tell the story of a man who went to great lengths to scewer her. I don't like court for such small potatoes. 100k is one years worth of a lower midd…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 05:09 PM
2

Just a correction. You can call anyone names. It can not be used against you. It can be used to file a protective order. Anything can. I called my ex a pathological liar Everytime she leveled up with yet another violation of the no harassment order. That is a fact and I kept saying the same. "Your right to lie in court with absolute impunity, does not trump my right to tell the truth". I left the house. My own house. I don't like the boiler plate "dont leave the house" advice. That is not in the…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 03:59 PM
6

I lost all the same battling a pathological liar who was allowed and even encouraged by the courts. Eventually I proved all the CPS, police reports and orders of protections and violations a huge lie by a pathological liar. I never got the money I lost back. I never got the house I build back. I never complained to the court. I sat on my hands and waited. That gave her ALOT of privilege to take the lies up a notch. Her lawyer was complicit. The child lawyer screwed up royally too In a trap she s…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 03:46 PM
3

If you believe she will lie, you need to anticipate the lies. I am no psychic but the anticipation playing a crucial role in my recovery and eventually win. Remember you're not fighting an adversarial liar. Most of your fight is against a business (the courts). And they want your money. And the more your wife lies, the more they get paid. Infact the lawyers have a license to help her do it and good luck proving anyone violated ethics. Lying in court is not just allowed. It is encouraged by many …
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 03:38 PM
2

I have had the pleasure to leave swiftly a pathological liar and cheat. She fired the silver bullet method for years. Countless unfounded cps, false police reports proven false. False orders and violations with a mountain of evidence proving her pathological. My anger and disgust is not with a morally deficient ex wife. My anger is at the court clerk circle jerk that drained mommy and daddy of more than 100k to just settle custody 50/50. You are asking what? When does reason prevail in a court t…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 03:33 PM
5

I left a pathologal liar and cheat quickly. Left my kids and my own home into roach motel hell. Left everything I called my own. She didn't stop there. When I recovered quickly and found a woman to make a new family with, she didn't like how the kids gravitated to me. To prevent the 50/50 split, she fired the silver bullets for years in court. Constant lies and a police and sheriff's and CPS. All in front of the kids. She eventually got in ALOT of trouble but the courts don't care about all the …
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 02:43 PM
14

I know a guy who battled the silver bullet method for years. Countless unfounded cps visits. 5 or more police reports with multiple false ones proven false. 5 or more sheriff's visits on false complaints and violations also proven false. The court is a bit confused by the dynamics at one point stating that this is a very unusual situation. They allow the liar and lawyer to continue making complaints and sending agents to the mans house. This guy plays a cool cucumber for years. Eventually he ent…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 02:03 PM
2

My stbx once complained to the courts that my kids saw me cry. It was one of few truths in her complaint. I used to have uncontrollable panic when I left to roach motel hell. When it hit me, it was like I was a fish. I could feel drowning. I would turn red and seek shelter to get away from being seen. It was random and dibilitating. I never had that before. It took over a year to get over. But it happen less often without kids, so I stayed away as much as possible. The hell of living in roach mo…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 12:33 AM
1

Oh I misunderstood something. I though you were estranged/alienated from the other. My ex tried to estrange me surupriciously. That too worked against her. Coney is crazy. Stupid expensive. I grew up there but it's different nowadays. We found better and cheaper activities in sports, fishing and camping. Kids still don't like to potty in the woods with some exception. You're a lucky man then. I misread your comment earlier.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 08:20 PM
4

It helped me to beat the shit out of a punching bag. Eventually it helped me to verbally beat the shit out of the agents of state who allowed a pathological liar to try and kill me with countless silver bullets for years. They all failed. My kids as they aged, gave me all the power to shout back at everyone who pretended they are here "in the best interest of the kids" . Learn to use your anger to supplant the sorrow. Not get arrested. Keep it under control. Even your verbal attacks can get you …
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 06:33 PM
2

I can resonate with everything you said. The silver bullet method was used against me for years. I beat that and her and every agent who allowed it. It didn't help me to rip these people apart. Just satisfied my need to do so that I waited for years. You have to buck up. I didn't get better until the anger replaced the sorrow. I had no actual loss like you. My loss was self imposed. I left. The sorrow of leaving my kids, a pathological liar and everything i built, really fucked me up. The years …
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 06:24 PM
4

Yeah I don't know. This is about as accurate as the "don't leave your house" advice. Not every mom is a good people reader. Most are not I venture to say.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 02:23 PM
5

Buddy I see your 10 and double down. The silver bullet method against me was years long process. I didn't bother replying. Just went along with it for years ignoring the courts impositions. I waited and waited like a cool cucumber. Eventually when the kids were all old enough to tell the agents of the court that children will be the ones to make decisions for custody (a well planned years long ambition of mine) , I finally stood up for myself. In a packed court waiting room, I ripped them all ap…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 02:18 PM
1

I don't really qualify to ask you any questions. Kids healthy and I found my way out of my dark room (toilet in my case) rather quickly and easily. A woman with her own kids from another failed marriage helped me re-establish. Rather a simple and clitche out. But there are men her usually with much deeper gloom than I had. They come and Go never staying to talk. I often wonder what happen to them. i stay here because there is too much bad advice here. For starters "don't leave your house" can be…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 12:50 PM
3

You can do as you please. The problem is kids. I kept it a secret for years from them. So I thought. It turns out they knew all along. She wasn't too careful apparently. In general avoid having the kids discover she is a pathological liar and cheat from your words. They going to figure it out on their own. As it relates to the kids, just pretend you don't know her and don't want to remember. That's safe
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 03:07 PM
9

It's abnormal for a man who been cheated on, to give the cheater a 2nd chance and that almost always results in a shit show again.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 01:17 PM
13

My ex pathological liar and cheat, didn't stop at ruining everyone's life. She fucked her own family who go through me to see our kids. I left my own house for the benefit of my kids. Started a new family and the blend works great. She moved in some umpteeth boyfriend into what is still my home. That prick got kicked out by child lawyer after they all realized he is bad news. It ended well for me after years of the silver bullet process. Umpteeth unfounded CPS complaints, false police complaints…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 12:52 PM
5

She does this to you still because you let her. You let the courts mandates "coparent or else" really go to your head. If you have little babies then it is rather hard to cut her out. Once the kids have phones, it's game over. You never have to talk to her again and there is nothing she nor a judge can do about it, as long as the kids are happy and doing well.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 12:26 PM
2

So if there is no order against you reaching the kids, what exactly is stopping you? She alienated you? Or you screwed up along the way? It don't matter. Why can't you communicate with the kids? It's a mistake to go through her to be that gatekeeper. These kids are old enough for direct coms
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 11:56 AM
2

Based on what? I am curious. Do you pay child support and have an order barring you from seeing them?
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 03:18 AM
1

You can't reach the older kids? On the phone? Text? Playstation?
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 03:10 AM
0

Close by is the answer. If the intent is to maintain the status quo for the kids, then close by
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 02:09 AM
1

The 9 and 11 are old enough to make decisions if they are capable. Better you and mom talk to them than anyone else. can you afford to leave and maintain the status quo for all the kids for at least a few years...
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 02:07 AM
1

It could be that or any number of things. I have daughters and sons. They are all different. The love you give away is the only love you will keep
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 02:03 AM
1

I was once at this crossroads. How old are the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 01:59 AM
1

Meaning if you leave, she will have exclusive use potentially. You can't leave that if you have no assurance you will land on your feet. With young kids especially. This is the worst type of situation. Broke with toddlers. You have to stay until they are older or until you have better means
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 12:59 AM
1

I am in the same boat with the crazy ex wife (a pathological liar). My caution to you is taking her money. If you do this, the kids might judge you one day and she will likely want them to. You can have a clean break. No risk of her ever saying "your deadbeat dad takes my money while he has you an even amount of time". It's not a good look for a woman who don't work to keep that status quo. It's even worse for a man who works full time to take a grand a month from crazy ex who also works full ti…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 08:46 PM
-5

I am asking rhetorical questions. Also you mentioned she makes 85k per year (disability will be cancelled). You make 50k. That disparity is rather low and you can easily level up to make more money. Most importantly, what will the kids think of you taking her money?
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 07:56 PM
-9

So once she pays you for the "income disparity", pays the income tax on it, that puts you on parity? So then you would be equal? And that sounds fair to you? Fair that your inability to make more money should be subsidized by her ability?
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 07:40 PM
-9

You share kids 50/50. What makes you think you should get child support? Why should she pay you child support? Don't you think making more money and not taking it from her, would be "in the best interest of the kids"?
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 07:13 PM
0

Be careful. The crooked judges won't make her go back to work. If court and divorce was fair, these lazy stay at home moms who think it a job, would be forced back to work. You are stuck because she is a sahm. You can't leave. Your case is one of the ones where you have to stay because she will be allowed to take your ability to leave and have a life while she enjoys doing nothing but enjoy the absolute privilege of being a stay at home nobody. You would be wise to stick around and force her bac…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 07:09 PM
1

Unless you're talking hundreds of thousands, rethink your desire to settle with a narcissist. If we are taking less than 100k, throw in the towel. Because you don't want to duke it out in court with a narcissist and her liar (lawyer). Remember these sheisters know it only takes one of the parents to fuck both. Doesn't matter how reasonable you are. It only takes one of you to be a narcissist for both to get fucked. I spent over 50k to just settle custody 50/50. We are not even started on the fin…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 04:12 PM
2

Nobody here can give you guidance. Your story is rather rare. But you can give guidance here. Perhaps it is where you can heal. By helping others heal. I have a lot of questions but won't ask out of respect. You're asking the wrong question here. It seems to me that you would be better suited to provide answers. More than a year ago I came here to navigate the silver bullet method fired by a pathological ex wife. I stayed to try and help people. My story ended well. But I remain to try and help …
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 01:07 PM
3

You are not accounting for something. Your wife's lawyer has a license to lie. And he will. When he drains the two of you, you will understand that all that logic and reasoning you have is useless when you are playing a chess game rigged against you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 12:59 PM
1

Go out and bang. Not to be confused with go out with a bang
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 12:00 PM
2

Over 6k you say your peace not go to trial
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 11:50 AM
2

That family wizard app is a godsend for proof but I too would like to remove it and never use it. Once the kids are all teens I think it will be the right time. I have to keep it for now because it has countless evidence that she is a pathological liar.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 11:42 AM
8

You don't have to coparent with a liar. Nobody can force you. They will assign a court app. They will "impose it". I had the same thing with a liar. Countless false police and countless false orders. All proven lies and all withdrawn by her. She got in ALOT of trouble but never a slap on the wrist. While we still message like once a month it's just business. At one point the lawyers and judges clerk chastised me for not co parenting. She did also. I replied simply with "find me a manual how to c…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 11:37 AM
5

I want to stress that if you are right about the narcissism. And you are sure she has no problem alienating you. Be careful! You will be the next victim of the silver bullet method. Consider some things. First reconsider asking for child support. While you certainly qualify, she will not let you. The silver bullet will take you down here and drain you both financially. Reconsider mediation although I doubt it will work if she is a narcissist. Avoid the long road. The lawyers will rob you blind. …
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 11:18 AM
2

Dude you're too hard on your self. It's ok to fail. Focus on success you achieve. Little by little.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:58 AM
1

you got a novel there ghost writer. Nice story!
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 11:19 PM
1

The lawyers will eat you both alive thinking like this. You need to talk to her not the lawyers. There is not enough money here duke it out with lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 11:13 PM
6

In my 40s I had to leave my kids and my own home into roach motel hell from a pathological liar and cheat. She didn't stop there. Silver bullet method for years. Just 10 seconds out of my to journey should be enough to tell you, how lucky you are. I won in the end but you got a clean slate here and relatively early. You didn't give enough info but there is something missing in your story.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 11:00 PM
2

Same shit here but I changed my results by ignoring the courts and all their idiotic impositions which are not made to coparent with a pathological liar. Early on I realized before the silver bullets started, that my journey will be against the grain completely. It ended real well for me also against the grain because I proved her a compulsive and pathological liar. Then I ripped apart her lawyer the child lawyer and the partial court clerk for what they did and allowed. She signed everything I …
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 01:31 PM
3

At first while the kids were younger, I mostly avoided taking fair share of holidays. I focused on the trouble free days. That paved the way to me having the more desirable life for them. Now years later I know where the kids want to be and so does she. I split 50/50 with a loaded pistol sorta speak. If she tries to push for uneven split of any period, I just tell her to speak to the kids and let them decide. You might recall "the adults make decisions" imposition from court? There is a reason f…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 12:13 PM
1

If the kids are too little to speak and reason, the agents of state will screwed you. You will need to be strategic while you wait for them to grow up. When they are old enough, only the kids can keep you away unless you earn a restraining order. Meaning when your son turns old enough, as the father you can visit anywhere public (school for instance). But be careful. Some of these women don't just want to alienate you. They want to block you from any chance of reconnecting.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 12:01 PM
4

I was there 4 years back. I went back to school. I got another degree. I did side work. I dated. I stared a new blended family. Fast forward today. She lost every battle because I was able to prove she is a pathological liar who escalated the silver bullet method the whole time. How have you invested in yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 11:44 AM
1

Don't bother. You won't win anything. Best you will get is a slap on the wrist for her. You won't get any money or legal fees
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 04:33 PM
4

You can not be good to your kids if you are not good to YOU. To be good to your kid you simply need to tell the truth and take care of you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 12:30 PM
2

Sounds like you already made up your mind. Seems like you already know the first year plan. What advice are you looking for? This forum is mostly men being screwed. Not as much for men who have all the answers and ability to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 12:27 PM
1

I can relate completely. You have not got your fair share of kids YET. And likely you left everything "in the interest of the kids". You have not moved on. You have not tried to take your slice of your new life and freedom. Why? Why haven't you? Why are you choosing to be alone?
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 12:21 PM
3

No fault divorce ruined the legal contract. If people were held accountable, they would do less crime not more
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 12:19 PM
1

No I doubt that. I believe we make our choices from the good and bad. We decide what we like and aspire to, in the presence of both good and bad role models. I do not believe in victim mentality. That is a cancer. We are not victims and we do not have to be. You can defend what is right and cast light on what is wrong. You need not be silent ever. Victimhood is a choice. So is growing a set of knees thick enough to tell people facts when it can get you arrested. Being a victim is a cancer of the…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 12:17 PM
6

It's one thing to be just accused. It's another when they call CPS countless times. Then call the cops with false info and nothing is done multiple times. When countless false police reports and false CPS failed, then the sheriff's come. When false orders of protection issued and false violations are issued you start to wonder...... How come the courts allow it? Certainly all the proof I have that she is a pathological liar, will get her slapped on the wrist at trial. Then you finally have enoug…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 11:41 AM
2

You didn't buy anything! You run up a gambling debt somewhere? Got a cocaine habit? Got strippers on the line waiting? Fuck bro you bought the equivalent of a TV. She ask you if she can do her nails lately? That's a yearly habit. You a grown ass man. How you got kicked out? She bigger than you. She abuse you? That's your damn house unless she bought it with you riding shotgun.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 11:37 PM
1

You don't want to go back to court. You don't want to go to court at all. I am 50k in to just settle custody with a liar. Keep in mind you will be paying a portion of her lawyer also as the moneyed spouse
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 10:30 PM
2

I had multiple unfounded CPS complaints. 2 false police reports and numerous calls for bullshit reasons later. When all that failed and her constant court motions were ignored, this pathologal liar and cheat, went to the sheriff's to get a protective order. The first was a no harassment order. Apparently she thinks me calling her a liar is harassment. When I didn't stop telling her that "I don't negotiate with liars" she continued to file violations. The last violation I proved a setup (she fram…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 10:10 PM
3

Jesus man. What are you? The Saint of Guiltsville? FFS get a grip. You done nothing wrong. Wtf you mean she kicked you out? Youre a grown ass man. Did she beat you out the door? Irrelevant. What is relevant? How is your relationship with the boys? Focus on that. The other stuff you described sounds like a joke
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 09:51 PM
1

You may not owe any alimony if she finds a moron to move in with her lying ass. Give it time. Pay child support voluntarily. Once she gets an livein boy toy, it may alleviate half your problem. But your incomes are too close for alimony and even if you owe any, it may be a few hundred a month
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 09:46 PM
3

The only way it can be considered marital is if you used marital funds and are still living together. Once you're separated unofficially and you have no comingled debts, obligations and joint accounts, what would be the basis for a judge saying she owns half? But yeah wait to buy the rockett
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 09:37 PM
1

Obey the order. If you pay child support and are the moneyed spouse, it's not likely any judge will cuff you as it will cost her both child support and the system another warm body. Also Not for showing up at the hospital. Who is to say you knew she was there?. But your kid is also likely to forgive you if you dont. Depends also how you got the RO. If it's based on lies you can prove them it's one thing. If you can't prove the lies then stay away
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 09:24 PM
1

Lawyers are allowed to operate unethically with complete impunity same as lying ex wives are. The silver bullet method is not an obscure and unknown thing. It is allowed and almost encouraged by the court because there is no punishment. Proving unethical behavior is difficult. This is not unethical because you have no proof what the future holds. You can not prove that your wife's lawyer is going to help take your child away, anymore than you can prove she told her to lie in the silver bullet me…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 08:05 PM
1

Took a year for me to rid me off the dibilitating panic. I never had that before. Felt like a fish drowning in water. Sometimes quick sometimes minutes. The thing that really hurt me was not only the loss of access to kids but the never ending court clerk circle jerk at the behest of lying lawyers and the pathological ex. Years later I put all these people in their place. Got it all off my chest in a packed waiting room. Walked out like a boss with a mic drop. Slapped everyone verbally and let t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 07:41 PM
1

You're wrong about everything. Learn to love YOU and your son will be drawn to you. You have to fix your gloom. You have to get out of the rutt. You have to date if that's what you want. Not only is your son going to accept that, but he will also learn from your significant other. I have a huge blended family. It's the best thing that happen for my kids after a traumatic divorce from a pathological liar and cheat. They respect my lady very much and they love coming here even though our living co…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 07:36 PM
7

Fighting is something you can work on. Relationships can be repaired. Once the lying and cheating starts it's over. Once the love is gone it's not likely to return
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 06:55 PM
1

I too thought to become a divorce lawyer but in order to do that, you have to be a good liar. That's not me. I won't for any money. Truth or death. I will not compromise. I am not angel. I got a lot of problems. But I won't lie to my worst enemy and I won't lie for anyone. I will sleep well at night.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 05:31 PM
2

Be careful thinking that the courts will side with reason. The saying "in the best interest of the kids" is a lie. This is easily proven when you realize the courts allow lying with complete impunity for years. The silver bullet method is the proof that the courts only cares about money. That and the fact that you can waste 100k to just settle custody. As for jokes and good humor. You better learn to be funny right quick if your wife's lawyer helps her escalate. Because if you take any of these …
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 03:54 PM
0

Kids do better when parents don't take things to seriously. Humour, jokes and fun times is good. Kids do poorly when one of the parents escalate. Usually it's the wife's lawyer who will escalate. Divorce lawyers have a license to escalate and they don't have to be honest. People can lie with absolute impunity in divorce court. Dont take it too seriously. If you're definitely getting divorced, staying in the house is likely to lead to acrimony. Eventually she will try to get exclusive use. That's…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 03:20 PM
1

You sound exactly like the type of man who can though. And she sounds like the type of woman who might.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 12:51 PM
3

You're a herb. That's why you feel used. Let us know when you find your knees and balls.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 12:49 PM
6

Ignore the lazy battle ex completely. Your job is to supplant her lazy ass. It's not to tell her how to be a good parent. That's why the kids have two parents. When one is a miserable failure, the other is a stellar success story.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 12:45 PM
2

The court papers are somewhat irrelevant at a certain age. In my case at 10yo, my youngest son knows this already. He is well informed that he can stay and go as he pleases and mommy can't do a damn thing about it. He knows the agents of the court can't interview him if he don't want to. He knows he can walk right to my house and stay as long as he likes. All my kids know this. They also know that mommy knows this now too. They know if mommy calls the cops to retrieve them from my house on her t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 12:01 PM
3

You're not asking to live together for the 3yo. You are asking for you. If you split now, you are supporting this woman for the next 20 years. You know your child support will be spent on your X wife mostly. That's the cruel part. Nthe stay at home mom or part time worker, will be using the child support money in her interest and not in the best interest of the child. Because if the courts really gave a dime about the kids, they would make her go back to work soon as the baby is in school.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 11:41 AM
2

Oh nevermind I don't know the court system overseas. I am in the USA
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 09:14 PM
2

How is your relationship with the teenager? This is crucial
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 08:33 PM
4

Leaving promptly Into roach motel hell. Leaving my kids and everything I own against the dumb advice of "don't leave your house". Getting laid promptly. Finding a woman. Starting a family again. That did it for me
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 08:31 PM
2

If you can afford to buy her out, and you can afford a house, while she can not, the judge will even the odds. If you have been married for a long time, assuming kids are aged out of support, you may be on the hook for half the marital term to support her financially. In my state, after 15 years of marriage, you're on the hook for at least half the term.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 01:43 PM
1

It will all pass. To regain your kids you just need to be honest always and fear nothing. Don't get an order of protection against you but fear nobody. When your knees are strong and you grow into a monster (a nice one), you will understand. For the next few months to a year, you will be weak. There are ways to expedite the process. Also it seems like she will file restraining orders if you mess up. So stay in your lane. Avoid conversations with her. It's over. Get to the recovery phase. Don't l…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 11:46 AM
2

The only way to feel secured is to be honest. A famous writer once said "a man who does not lie does not have to remember what he said". I have used this quote in my favor countless times. My life is immesurably better as a result of hearing it. All the lies committed by my X were outed also by understanding the dynamic between webs of lies and the ability of a human mind to create a moat of lies and deceits.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 11:40 AM
1

It's far less important what the both of you want as opposed to what the kids want. Many people will tell you "parents make decisions". The courts will tell you the same. The lawyers and most redditors will tell you not to move out until contracts are signed. None of that is good advice. Your kids are old enough to have an opinion. If you don't get their opinion and it becomes contentious, the court will send an agent of the state to get their opinion. You would be smart from the getgo to remove…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 11:31 AM
12

She was not assaulted. She went out and someone fucked the shit out of her. She may think it assault. She may have not wanted it to be that rough. But it was likely consentual. I think your wife is a liar. For your sake I hope not compulsive or pathological.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 11:23 AM
1

Your kids don't need this. If there were no lies then it is something you can consider for yourselves. If there were lies then don't you dare.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 11:18 AM
4

For all of you who have been cut off. If you have no order blocking you from the kids, you are free to get them at will anywhere in public. Now in doing so, you are talking a risk of false complaints and orders. But if you have no current order against you, you can go and grab your kids at will, same as she can. The problem happens after. How far is she willing to lie and who will fire the first shot. There are calmer ways to reach your child but all of them require proximity. If you are too far…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 11:14 AM
3

How old are the kids? This is crucial. If they are old enough to reason. If you have no order against you. Then you can grab them from school or any other public place to have a talk in person. However your story is missing everything. I have a suspicion you missed the most crucial part. Why is it that she believes the kids are better off without you?
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 11:10 AM
1

Couples counseling ONLY works for honest people. People are often liars. I believe there are more liars than honest people
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 11:07 AM
2

I also had a very similar thing happen 4 years back. I was certain one of my kids was not mine. Because he don't look nothing like me. The paternity test was lost somehow for months. I let it go realizing that it didn't matter. He is my son. I love him more than I love me. One day the test came back by email with a 99% match. I realized what I had done and how stupid I was for all the paranoia. Don't get me wrong. She is a pathological cheater. But looking at events that happen a decade ago is a…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 11:04 AM
1

I have not seen so many terrible decisions in one paragraph. First stop living with her. She cheated on you. That's the end of your relationship. Your lawyer who told you "don't leave the house" done you wrong. You should do everything humanly possible to leave asap. Second stop talking to her and stop letting her track you. You're 33m you're acting like you are 18. Get her out of your life. She won't change. She will only learn how to lie and manipulate better. There are no 2nd chances for chea…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 10:59 AM
1

You're going to get a lot of terrible advice here. You have given 1% of info but you will receive 99% committed replies. This is not the way to get advice. Nobody can assume nothing from what you said. As far as her keeping your last name on FB. My X who is a compulsive and pathological liar who wishes me death and is despised by her own family, still keeps my name on FB. You can glean nothing from this
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 10:53 AM
2

A person who believes they do no wrong, is called a narcissist. A normal person repents and knows they are very fallable. Everyone else has a truth telling problem
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 10:47 AM
1

I doubt you would change a thing if you had kids with her. Thats the crazy part. The worst parts of our lives, made the best
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 08:46 PM
1

You're a rare breed. Your take is disliked around these parts where most men are brainwashed to stay and not to leave. I left promptly against all odds. 4 years later I got my kids 50/50 and this woman has been warned not to fuck around countless times. Her order of protection, violations, false cops, false CPS all failed miserably. She never even got a slap on the wrist for it. Karma will get her eventually. It already has. The kids judged her actions. The luck of having mature kids is crucial.…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 01:56 PM
3

Wow. That's way worse than mine. I guess all the kids are a bit young which means you can't do what I did. Same story. Wife a pathological liar cheater. Took everything from me initially. My kids and My house and my money. Took me a while to get out of my massive depression. It helped A LOT to find another woman quickly. The silver bullet method started when my new blended family moved very close to my kids home (strategically). unfounded CPS reports galore. When that failed, she and the new boy…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 01:51 PM
1

Depends on what she does during her parenting time. If she is working or going to school then it's fair game. If she is not then she needs to be caring for the child or giving the child up to you. If you can care for the child while she is hiring a nanny, then you have every right to say no. If you can not care for the child and she has a legitimate need, then you may be forced to pony up
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 01:19 PM
1

Some women crave emotional intimacy. Most women who cheat want to suck dick. You don't go from married with children to cheating, because you crave emotional intimacy. You sucking dick in a parking lot and lying to your husband, because you think you will get emotional intimacy from the man attached to the giz machine about to bust in your mouth. Of course the first half dozen guys or so don't stick around. So you change your ways. You find a sad man. A man who needs an honest woman finally. But…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 01:15 PM
1

I tried therapy to no avail. I too had a 5 hour stint in the loney bin for the dumbest reason which is too embarrassing to mention (it was because I can't lie well). Years after divorce I realized what the best therapy is. Simply to stay funny. Never take these agents of court seriously and to make fun of the affronts and silver bullet method employed against me for years. Had I taken it at all serious, I would have died and lost my kids. It was all the funny that fixed me and my kids are happy.…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 01:01 PM
6

I realized she was always a pathological liar. She didn't just wake up to become one.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 12:50 PM
3

You should make the effort to find your kids when they are mature enough to have a relationship. Until then, go have a blast. Life is amazing. The trials we experience on our way up from zero to hero are amazing. The absence of your kids can only be contained if you learn to love yourself. You will find them again. It won't take long. Near 10 years of age they will be able to reason well. Become financially stable as you will need money to go get them back. They will want to come back to USA aga…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 12:33 PM
1

At one point my Xs lawyer threatened supervised visitation. I told my kids, and we laughed hard at it. In court, I asked him if he wants to supervise me and I will pay him well above minimum wage. I could do this no fucks given because I proved my ex a pathological liar. Don't take these agents of state seriously. Be nice. Be stoic. Make fun of them all after. Because the truth is these strangers don't give a shit about your kids. They ruin men for the money and sometimes even the pleasure and i…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 12:25 PM
1

Prenups don't really work all that well. Prenups protect your assets prior to. Everything after is considered communal and prenups are often less valid over time. A prenup is like a condom with holes.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 12:20 PM
3

Filing first is not at all strategic. It's only good for your sense of self worth. It may however trigger her nasty side. If you believe her to be a liar and to employ the silver bullet, you need to go no contact. If your kids are too young to go no contact, then you need to play pretend. Pretend you still admire her. Pretend you care for her. Pretending you regret. Until the kids are old enough. Once they are old enough (usually near 10) then do as you please. Your lawyer should never tell you …
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 12:01 PM
3

Wtf did you copy my sentiments exactly? Go get your own story. I am so sick of people coming to reddit and plagiarizing me. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 11:55 AM
11

Pretend she is already cheating. She probably is. You probably already know this which is why you did not touch the topic? Learn to despise her personality quickly. Don't you dare saturate in your sorrow. You want to get over quick? Go out and BANG. Never talk to her again. She will be back. When she realizes she got used like a piece of meat. This can be the best day of your life if you make it. And don't get married again. You don't have to. You can have love and family without needing to brea…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 11:35 AM
2

You lucky dog. My kids are still 50/50. Mostly because they feel guilt for her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 01:15 AM
6

My ex had cps at my house 6 times after 3 complaints all unfounded. On the last visit I told the agent "no offense but I hope I never see you again". When that failed she called the cops 5 times. The first 2 calls were proven false. The later were for various other reasons related to our kids not wanting to go back there. When that failed, she called sheriff's. First an order of protection then subsequent violations and upgraded to stay away. Now I am lucky. Everyone knew she is pathological. I …
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 12:24 AM
13

Why do you need to get married? What does that contract with the government do for YOU? Other than force you to pony up to a lawyer eventually, what does a marriage certificate do for you?
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 08:26 PM
2

Very similar to my story. I found stability in "the love you give away is the only love you keep" also. How did it turn out with your boys? Were you able to beat the system that allows and often encourages women to do these things?
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:54 AM
2

Hello my twin. You're lucky you can part so easily. I had to get through years of the silver bullet method fired by my pathological x wife. After I left her the first full year was brutal. After losing access to my kids (self imposed), those panic attacks and massive depression persisted for a year. I can still taste it 4 years later. Here is what saved me. I don't like people. I don't like friends. I prefer to be alone than in company. However I force myself to be uncomfortable. I learned to en…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:50 AM
2

Your story is not different. It's rather similar. If you want to quicken your recovery, go have some fun. Do the things you never would have. How's biz out there? Contracting fell off a cliff for us and I live in a upscale suburb of a big city.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:34 AM
1

Is she likely to be vindictive? To lie in court? Take more than her fair share? If yes then you will regret filing sooner than you were ready to. Don't ready yourself emotionally. If she is not honest and you have minor children, you will wish you waited and set yourself up financially in your own favor.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:22 AM
1

I tried that for like a month. Some people can't do it alone. I am no social butterfly but I need a woman I can trust and love next to me. I would not have made it alone. The best thing I did was persevere in the dating. It was terrible and fun. Terribly fun. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 09:25 PM
1

You can't most likely. Why are you trying to do this? You don't have to marry anyone again to fall in love and develop a life long relationship. Get out there. Dating is brutal. You might hate it. You will give up many times. Don't!
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 08:54 PM
2

It helped me to find a GF who started out as a friend. We found love and ditched the bad habits together. Being alone is difficult for some people. I could not do it. You don't have to.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 08:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter