| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 24 | Any Middle Age Success Stories? | Getting Started | Fan_of_Sanity | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/26 12:08 PM |
| 6 | New to the Club | Getting Started | Fan_of_Sanity | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/26 08:00 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | Well homies, we did it!I’m hung up on the attorney costing $600. Do you live in a high cost of living area? Or did she just pick a celebrity attorney? Mine is $325/hour, and she’s good at her job. I can’t imagine that one costing twice as much would be twice as good. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 03:26 PM |
| 10 | I love my wife with my whole heart, but she wants a divorce.Welcome to our sad little club, brother. As you can see from the replies, you aren’t alone; there are countless numbers of us who didn’t see it coming. It sucks, but you’ll make it through it if you focus on taking care of your mind, body, and spirit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 03:12 PM |
| 1 | Is simply losing feelings enough to divorce?Any time I have the opportunity, I tell people about the Relationship Escalator and point out that it isn’t the only option we have. It works great for a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone even though our culture continually reinforces that it’s the only way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 02:52 PM |
| 1 | Is simply losing feelings enough to divorce?Like I said, I’m not making a recommendation one way or another for you. Just saying to weigh the pros and cons. And if your sex life currently sucks, that’s a con that could be a deciding factor. My sex life with my STBX wasn’t what I wanted it to be, but I would’ve lived with it to keep our marriage together if that had been an option (it wasn’t—she unilaterally filed for divorce). For me, the financial and logistical pros of staying together outweighed that. But again, this is a decision each… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/26 01:12 PM |
| 3 | Is simply losing feelings enough to divorce?The idea of marrying for romantic love is a relatively new one in human history. Until recently, people married for practical reasons and then CHOSE to love one another. I’m not telling you that you should stay married. Just saying to weigh the pros and cons of divorce, especially with a kid in the mix. There are worse things than being married to a good person who works hard, doesn’t cheat, doesn’t bring you drama, and doesn’t spend all of your money—even if you don’t feel the romantic love you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/26 12:36 PM |
| 1 | CohabitationWrap up the divorce as quickly as possible, because it isn’t going to get easier by waiting. The longer you’re married, the more this can cost you. If you want to keep cohabiting, that’s fine if it’s working for you—although I’m not sure what the need is since you both have good jobs and could find alternative housing. It has been around 2.5 months since my STBX filed. We’re still living together amicably (no kids), and likely will continue to until the divorce is finalized. If I’m able to keep … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/26 03:39 PM |
| 2 | Don’t accept mediocrity> “Is marriage hard? Yes, absolutely it is. It takes nonstop work on both sides.” I’ve always held this belief, but more and more I’ve been wondering… Is this truly how it HAS to be? Is there no other way? Obviously, there will be challenges when two adults are living life together. Compromises and considerations will need to be made. Neither is going to get their way 100% of the time. But having spent decades in a marriage that felt hard, and having worked on it non-stop only to see it end in a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/26 03:13 PM |
| 6 | How to support a man during a shocking divorce?As a man who’s also going through a divorce that came completely out of nowhere, I’ll just echo what others have said… Don’t hesitate to check on us regularly, and invite us to do stuff together if you get the vibe that we’re lonely. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/26 02:52 PM |
| 2 | Fresh divorce advice needed.Man, I saw your post history and I’m thinking this woman may be right up your alley! Congrats—she sounds like fun. Enjoy it, although as others have said don’t rush into committing to the first woman that comes along. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 08:59 PM |
| 2 | Is obesity and the breakup of our traditional social/familial structures to blame for so many divorces in the US?I don’t know that there’s reliable data showing the role obesity plays in divorce, but it seems reasonable to say that (A.) physical attraction plays some role in relationships and (B.) increased weight correlates with decreased physical attraction in some percentage of relationships. I wonder if it might be more helpful to look at the common causes of obesity—poor diet and a lack of exercise—and ask what their impact might be on things like energy levels and libido. It could be that those thing… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 08:54 PM |
| 2 | I was way too reliant on my wife.Depression is a hell of a thing. It lies to you. It tells you nothing will get better. It tells you you’re alone. It tells you you’re worthless. Don’t listen to it. Take control of your life, and responsibility for your actions. Getting a job obviously isn’t fully within your control, but applying for jobs is. Practicing your interview skills is. Getting training to make yourself more competitive is. Putting down the bottle is within your control. The alcohol isn’t doing you any favors. Getting … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 06:56 PM |
| 2 | New to divorce (advice)One thing I’d add is that (at least in my state) there are easier and harder ways to do divorce. Attorneys technically aren’t required at all—although they’re advised in most situations. And even if you have attorneys, a lengthy discovery process isn’t required. Mediation isn’t required if the two parties can come to an agreement without it. Nor is a trial. With each piece you add, the more the divorce is going to cost both parties and the longer it’s going to take. Choose your battles. Think lo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 05:56 PM |
| 1 | Three years after divorce - alternative pointNo, these are friends I made as an adult looooong after college. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 05:15 PM |
| 9 | Three years after divorce - alternative pointAdd me to the list of people who have friends who absolutely do care. My inner circle was invested from the moment I told them, and have had my back ever since. Three different friends have offered for me to move in with them if I need a place to stay—and they meant it. They’re not thinking about it daily the way I am (we’re still going through the divorce process, and there are lots of unknowns about the future), but I don’t expect them to. They do want me to update them any time there’s a chan… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/26 07:26 PM |
| 5 | AdviceI don’t have tips for you on the process for your scenario, but wanted to send you good vibes. Sorry this happened; it sucks. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/26 07:11 PM |
| 1 | The house feels sad and empty.My STBX is in a better position to take care of the dog (she doesn’t work, but I do and am gone all day), and the dog has a slight preference for her (makes sense because they spend so much time together), so I’m not fighting for ownership. But I’m sad about it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/26 07:18 PM |
| 2 | Men who are separated but still in the same houseWe’re a couple of months into the divorce process and still living together. It’s weird because in many ways things are normal, yet we both know our decades-long marriage is coming to an end. I’m thankful we’re able to live in peace while the settlement is hammered out. We’re in separate bedrooms and are basically just roommates, but we aren’t fighting or jumping through hoops to completely avoid each other. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/26 04:40 PM |
| 2 | The house feels sad and empty.For some reason I get more sad about the idea of not seeing our dog after the divorce than about anything else. My wife, I, and the dog are a pack as far as the dog is concerned. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/26 01:05 AM |
| 1 | I don't want a divorce, I just don't want to be married to her anymoreAnd in some cases, employers treat legal separation the same as divorce when it comes to health insurance (mine does). | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/26 01:01 AM |
| 5 | How much alimony do you have to pay and child support?Holy crap. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/26 08:07 PM |
| 2 | Handling pictures from your past?Totally makes sense. But it sounds like she only said she didn’t want her own old pics popping up because of bad memories—not that she’d necessarily have an issue with YOU keeping old pics. So, maybe it won’t be anything to have to worry about. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/26 07:45 PM |
| 2 | Handling pictures from your past?At the moment, I don’t have any plans to delete pictures of me and my STBX from social media. She was a huge part of my life for decades, and I can’t—and don’t want to—erase that. Are you sure this will be an issue for your new partner, though? Has she said something more than what you posted that would indicate it might be? | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/26 02:46 PM |
| 5 | How to proceed?Welcome to the club. It’s a shitty club to belong to, but you’re not alone; countless men have been blindsided like this. I’m one of them. I only briefly put up a defense when my wife wife told me. For a few days I encouraged her to consider other options, then I accepted that the marriage was over. Because one thing I know about women—taught to me, funnily enough, by my STBX years ago—is that when a woman’s done, she’s done. They almost never change their mind. I also didn’t spend any time aski… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/26 02:31 AM |
| 2 | My son said his Mom said this the other day…and it bothers me but really shouldn’t by nowYour description of your new gf made me laugh. Congrats on the happy ending, man! | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/26 07:35 PM |
| 1 | Not doing ok anymoreHope today’s better, brother! | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/26 07:15 PM |
| 2 | What are the first few weeks of separation like? It might be in my near future.You’ve gotten some good advice here. Some of it may be a TEENSY bit biased (a lot of guys here have been through hell and came out bitter), but I suspect you know that. My situation was that my wife told me a couple of months ago that she was filing for divorce, and it was COMPLETELY out of the blue from my side. I knew we had some issues, but I didn’t think any of them were big enough to be dealbreakers. The first two weeks were rough. I was in a fog. Thankfully I had a Xanax prescription with … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/26 11:05 PM |
| 3 | Is it more common for married couples going through separation to stay in the same home or move out during the separation process?My wife was the one who filed for divorce. I asked my attorney if I should move out of our house during the process. She said, “Absolutely not. You weren’t the one who wanted this.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/26 10:41 PM |
| 10 | Not doing ok anymorePlenty of guys here can give you inspiration, but based on this post and a glance at your other ones it’s clear you need more than we can offer; you need professional help. Get your ass to a qualified therapist ASAP and start working on yourself. Partners can be amazing and can enrich our lives, but every one of us is a fully-formed human who can thrive independently if we need to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/26 10:36 PM |
| 4 | Recently DivorcedI don’t have an answer for you because I’m not dating yet. I’m dreading using the apps when the time comes, especially since I’m well into middle age. I’m in good shape, objectively decent looking, professionally successful, and have a likable personality—yet I’m prepared for the apps to hurt my feelings. My women friends insist that I have to try them, though, and they want to curate my profiles. So I’m going to put myself in their hands, and we’ll see what happens. I intend to manage my expect… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/26 09:53 PM |
| 9 | How do I accept she’s never coming back?I would encourage you not to have the mindset that “the last 7 years basically meant nothing.” If anything good came out of that time, then the time meant something for both of you. The relationship’s ending doesn’t negate this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/26 04:48 PM |
| 2 | A Month in the Country - Liminality vs Reality of being SingleWell said! “I am only real in the context of a relationship” is a mindset we should all work hard to avoid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/26 04:15 PM |
| 9 | What to do with her ring?She didn’t keep it? I thought those were typically treated as gifts owned by the recipient in a divorce. I’m not counting on my STBX giving hers back, although we haven’t talked about it. As for my own band… The cash from a sale would be nice, but I have a feeling I’ll end up keeping it for sentimental reasons. After three decades, I hate to let it go. It’s an important part of my past. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/26 02:53 PM |
| 3 | Love after marriageDamn, brothers. Let’s not do this to ourselves! We aren’t destined for a life of loneliness just because the person we thought was our forever love broke our heart. Humans are amazing creatures, and we’re absolutely capable of loving multiple people—even simultaneously. I can’t imagine ever not loving my STBX in some way. We were together for decades—well over half our lives. We’ve been through countless good times and bad together, and love like that doesn’t just end like turning off a light sw… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/26 02:50 PM |
| 7 | Blaming social media and AIThere’s no doubt in my mind that social media is playing a role in women getting divorces in cases where marriages lack abuse or infidelity and could potentially be saved if effort were put in. I see it in my own social media feeds, particularly on TikTok. Countless posts from women who “glow up” after their divorce, and whose divorce was caused by nebulous complaints about things like an imbalance of “emotional labor”. These posts get huge numbers of likes from other women, and the comment sect… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/26 02:35 PM |
| 1 | Selling the houseNo kids here, but I’m doing my best to keep the house in our divorce proceedings. I’ve crunched the numbers, and know what the maximum alimony amount is for me to be able to afford it. The mortgage is a low-interest steal; I have a four-bedroom house for what I’d pay for a nice two-bedroom apartment (although an apartment obviously wouldn’t have the upkeep expenses). But more than that, I just love the house. It has the right amount of space—not too big, not too small. It backs up to woods, so I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/26 11:02 PM |
| 6 | Newly DivorcedThis is a good place for support, with the caveat that a lot of guys here are bitter and lonely. I’m on my way to joining the club. Hopefully everything will be wrapped up in a month or two. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/26 03:37 PM |
| 1 | Family Relationship Centres - Family Dispute ResolutionI haven’t heard of that process. Is it state-specific? I can’t imagine that someone you were with for 1.5 years would be entitled to much of anything. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/26 02:26 AM |
| 6 | Do you still keep your ex pictures together?At the moment, I have no intentions of deleting social media pics of us or tearing up all the photographs. My marriage has been a huge part of my life for three decades. I’m sad it’s ending, but I’m not looking to erase my past. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/26 11:57 PM |
| 1 | Supposed to hookup with a girl soon, only ever been with one person.I’m Gen X, so I’m guessing my matches will be with other Gen X-era and Millennials. Maybe that’ll make it easier. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/26 08:33 PM |
| 1 | Divorced and been living together for 6 months. That’s finally coming to an end. But it means goodbye to my cats 😿 and I’m not ready for that.I feel you! My STBX will be taking our dog when we physically split. It’s the right thing to do; the dog loves us both but prefers her, and she’s home full-time whereas I work full-time. But it’s sad to see our “pack” broken up. If my STBX stays in the same town as me, I’m sure I’ll periodically dogsit. But if she moves away, that’ll be it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/26 04:47 PM |
| 6 | Supposed to hookup with a girl soon, only ever been with one person.I’m going to need a report afterwards. Not dirty details, but a high-level summary. I’ll be in the same boat at some point. I’ve only ever had sex with my STBX, and we were together for decades. It has been a looooong time since my last first time with someone, and I could definitely see myself having performance anxiety when the time comes. 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/26 04:41 PM |
| 3 | Officially divorced. Self-audit/general feeling.It’s good to see a man thriving. We need more of this here! | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/26 02:10 AM |
| 1 | Looks like finally agreed on divorce settlementCongrats on coming to an agreement without too much pain and time! | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 07:14 PM |
| 3 | It is so hard to be the asshole...Man, I get this. We’re still going through the process of negotiating a settlement, and I’d bet I’ve put more thought into my STBX’s future than she has. I’ve literally built a budget for her future separate living expenses to help me figure out what fair alimony would be because I don’t want her to be destitute. Mind you, she’s the one who asked for divorce, and it’s a no-fault situation. I really shouldn’t care about her future at this point. But we were a couple for over 30 years, and I still… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 02:34 AM |
| 1 | What led to you/ partner initiating the divorce? Did it happen in stages or spontaneously?Sorry, man. I know it sucks. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/26 04:09 PM |
| 5 | What led to you/ partner initiating the divorce? Did it happen in stages or spontaneously?We were married nearly 30 years. When I think about the times that one of us complained to the other about them not meeting a need, 99% of the time it was her complaining about me—not me complaining about her. What could explain this? One possibility is that she was an exponentially better spouse than I was. Another is that she was significantly harder to please than I was. I lean towards the latter. Maybe there’s a woman out there somewhere who will be satisfied with a partner who’s kind, humor… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/26 02:32 AM |
| 1 | Dating after divorce age gapThat’ll do it! 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/26 02:25 AM |
| 6 | Should I take my ex wife back🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/26 10:51 PM |
| 10 | What led to you/ partner initiating the divorce? Did it happen in stages or spontaneously?My wife initiated, and I was caught completely off guard. There was no abuse, infidelity, or fighting. There was no “I’m thinking about divorce unless X, Y, and Z happen.” So from my side, it happened spontaneously. But I know that’s not true on her side; I’m sure this was a long time coming. I don’t know how long ago she made the decision, and I haven’t asked her. Honestly, I don’t want to know more. I’ve invested all the energy I care to invest in trying to keep her happy over the years, and I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/26 10:50 PM |
| 1 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?This is definitely a success story—thanks for sharing it! Although in my case, I’m guessing that after I pay alimony I won’t have more spending cash than I did before the divorce. 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/26 05:14 PM |
| 3 | Dating after divorce age gapMay I ask how $6k was settled on? I’m guessing your income is pretty high. The idea of an ex getting $72k per year in unearned, tax-free income is wild—although my attorney has warned me that this range is a possibility for me (she called it a worst-case scenario). My goal in negotiations is for my STBX to not end up with more money than me on a monthly basis. So like if my net pay is $10k/month, I don’t want alimony to be more than $5k because that just seems unreasonable. We’re an “equitable d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/26 04:23 PM |
| 1 | Divorce is final, now whatYeah, that makes sense. With my employer, legal separation is the same as divorce in terms of health insurance—the spouse is required to either drop their coverage or switch to COBRA. My employer won’t subsidize premiums for a spouse who’s legally separated from the employee. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/26 04:14 PM |
| 5 | Dating after divorce age gapI’ve wondered about how this will work for me when I teach the point of dating again. I’m 53, but better looking than most of my peers because of good genes and years of taking care of my body. I’m going to struggle to be physically attracted to women my age who aren’t in similar shape, as shallow as that sounds. I’m willing to go 10-15 years younger, meaning 38-43, but I’ve wondered how many women in that age range would be interested in a 53-year-old divorcee. I have a good job (let’s not pret… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/26 01:42 AM |
| 1 | Divorce is final, now whatSorry for not being clear. I mean that it sounds like you chose legal separation rather than divorce, and I was curious why. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/26 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Divorce is final, now whatI haven’t been in this sub long, but I quickly realized there are a lot of men here who have no sense of identity apart from their (ex-)wife. They were so enmeshed in their marriage that they literally don’t know what to do once it ends. This is incredibly sad. I love my STBX deeply. We’ve been a couple for over 30 years, and I mourn her decision to end our marriage. But I’m going to be okay. I have a life outside of being a husband. I have friends other than my wife. I have exercise and work ro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/26 02:58 PM |
| 2 | Divorce is final, now whatNot to hijack OP’s thread, but may I ask why y’all chose separation? | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/26 02:43 PM |
| 7 | Cancelled Memberships + Pending Divorce FinalizationI canceled all of our streaming services shortly after my wife filed. It wasn’t to send a message, though; it was because we can’t be paying lawyers and Netflix at the same time. 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/26 02:35 PM |
| 11 | My wife says she wants to separateMy STBX originally filed for separation (since changed to divorce). When I asked my attorney what I should do if my STBX asked me to leave the house she said, “Don’t. You’re not the one who asked for this. Why should you leave?” | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/26 04:49 PM |
| 2 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?> “[M]any women in their 40’s have lost their minds” I’d say my STBX did that at her current age of 52 when she decided to blow up an amicable, completely workable marriage. 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/26 04:47 PM |
| 1 | NumbYeah, my first thought was that there’s no way she should be doing what she’s doing right now. When my wife filed, the order basically froze us in place—neither of us is making any financial changes at the moment. Hell, we even both still live in a the same house! | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/26 03:54 PM |
| 1 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?Good feedback—thank you! | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/26 03:45 PM |
| 3 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?How did you go about meeting new people at your (our) age? As for your comment about making out… I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about that since this divorce was sprung on me. I haven’t had a first kiss in around 34 years. I think I’m looking forward to that kiss, and just making out, more than anything else. The vision of that is a bright spot in an otherwise shitty situation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/26 03:43 PM |
| 1 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?Well, I HAD decent money. Once my assets are split and I’m paying alimony, I won’t (despite having a very good job). 🙈 Did you struggle with the decision to remarry? How long had it been since your divorce? Did you do a pre-nup this time? | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/26 03:40 PM |
| 2 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?Oh, wow! You’ve been on quite a journey. Here I am dreading starting over at 53, but you’re doing it at 68! I’m an introvert as well, and that’s one reason for my dread. Forcing myself to get out and be around strangers so I can meet new people is my nightmare. At the moment, every single person in my friend group is someone I’ve met through work except for two (one’s a neighbor, and the other’s a friend of a friend I made through work). I’m not sure I know how to meet people outside of work. 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/26 03:38 PM |
| 2 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?Do you think the woman you’re dating will be okay with keeping things as they are indefinitely, or will she eventually want to take things to “the next level” and move in? Good point about the definition of “success”. I’m mostly thinking about emotional success—being happy, or at least content. It seems like a number of guys are downright miserable long after their divorce, and that’s a sad prospect. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/26 03:33 PM |
| 2 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?I could see having some fun with someone 15 years younger than me, but I don’t know how that would go long-term. I think ten years may be my max. But I’m also thinking… Why would someone in their late 30s be interested in someone who’s 53? Yeah, I’m reasonably handsome and in decent shape. I could run 10k with them, or hike up a mountain. But I’m still well past middle age, and no matter how good my genes and lifestyle I’m going to be losing my looks and physical abilities daily from here on out… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/26 03:31 PM |
| 1 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?Thanks for this. Do you find that your desire to not get married again scares some women away? My thinking is that I doubt I’ll be looking for anything serious for a while, and I don’t know that I’d marry again (maybe, with a pre-nup). But I feel like that could be a dealbreaker for a lot of women who are looking for a traditional relationship and a ride up the relationship escalator. Most people (at least in U.S. culture) just expect dating -> exclusive dating -> engagement -> marriage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/26 03:22 PM |
| 2 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?Great points! “The new you is still under construction” is especially good. Who am I as a single person after 30 years of being one woman’s husband? Am I radically different? Was marriage somehow holding me back from being my true self? Or am I basically the same person, just with a bit more freedom? All things I’ve got to figure out. And yeah… I’m trying to mentally prepare for the reality that we all have baggage at this stage. For example, I don’t have kids but am prepared for the fact that m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/26 03:15 PM |
| 3 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?This is solid feedback. No kids for me, either. My STBX also hasn’t worked for nearly a decade, and has chronic conditions that make it tough for her to. I’m prepared to lose half our accumulated wealth and pay through the nose for alimony. I have a sneaky feeling I’ll have to do that for the rest of her life based on the length of our marriage and her inability to work. Thank goodness I have a great job, but I won’t be living the lifestyle someone with my income otherwise could. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/26 03:27 PM |
| 6 | Any Middle Age Success Stories?Yeah, I often look at my former classmates and am shocked to think we’re the same age. I have good genes, and those go a long way, but I’ve also spent decades taking care of my body. What I’m not sure of is what the dating pool looks like. You said it yourself: It’s rare for people in their 50s to be fit and healthy. That holds true for the women my age just as much as the men. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/26 12:48 PM |
| 6 | After the dust settled, life was kind of lit after she leftThis is really encouraging. Thanks for sharing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/26 09:46 PM |
| 13 | Did the right thing against my selfish desires and feel like crap.Not only did you make the ethical choice, but you may well have saved yourself a lot of trouble. What you don’t want is a pissed husband creating drama in your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/26 03:09 PM |
| 3 | Final day is tomorrowThe benefits of being single that you mention are the one positive thing I’m looking forward to as I go through an unexpected divorce. There are negatives to splitting up, but not EVERYTHING is negative. You mention feeling like you could never make your ex happy, but also that it wasn’t your responsibility. Same. My STBX clearly needs something I just haven’t ever been able to provide her. But the older I’ve gotten and the more I’ve learned, the more I’ve realized how many of us put WAY too muc… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/26 10:37 PM |
| 1 | Tell me how it was living with your soon to be ex through the divorce.Holy cow! What’s preventing you from moving from separation to divorce? | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/26 09:14 PM |
| 1 | Need help figuring how to move forward from where I amI get it. I had to put down $6k for my attorney, and I’m guessing my wife had to put down a similar amount for hers (she has her own bank account that I don’t have access to, so I can’t say for sure). And yeah, it’s terrible to have to spend this kind of money at a time when there are so many other new expenses (moving, buying new stuff for a second home, maybe a rental with first and last month’s rent plus a security deposit, and so on). All I can do at this point is to hope my STBX and I can c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/26 08:49 PM |
| 2 | Need help figuring how to move forward from where I amI may be in the minority on this, but I recommend an attorney even if you think you’re in agreement on how the split will work financially. Obviously this will cost money, but it needn’t necessarily be a fortune if things go smoothly. My attorney required a $6,000 retainer, which hurt. But if we keep the billable hours low, I get back some portion of that. It’ll cost me a minimum of $2,000, though, even if everything goes quickly and smoothly. When you file for divorce, she’ll be required to fil… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/26 02:00 AM |
| 6 | Seeking advice from divorced menLots of good advice here. One thing I’ll add as someone who’s going through a surprise divorce after nearly 30 years of marriage: Be prepared for both of you to change. I don’t mean because either of you is hiding your true self from the other. What the two of you see now may genuinely be your true selves. But who you are at 30 isn’t who you’ll be at 40, and who you’ll be at 40 won’t be who you’ll be at 50, and so on for your entire lives. What happens when the two people who married are no long… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/26 07:48 PM |
| 1 | New to the ClubYeah, for years I’ve heard about the stereotypical clueless guy who was unaware his marriage was in shambles until his wife sprang it on him. I definitely never thought that would be me. I knew my wife and I had had sort of an unusual dynamic for a while, but it wasn’t unbearable and I thought that was just our version of normal. I absolutely could’ve kept on living with it; it was safe and comfortable for us both. I’m truly shocked that my wife found the situation to be so bad that she’d rather… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/26 01:48 AM |
| 6 | How society treats a divorcee?I read something a while back—before I had any clue a divorce was in my future—talking about the concept of a “failed marriage”. The author argued that just because a relationship ends before someone dies doesn’t mean it “failed”. If anything good came out of the relationship—maybe kids, or memorable experiences, or personal growth, or whatever—it wasn’t a failure. That really stuck with me, and now that I’m in the midst of a surprise divorce I’m really glad I read it. I’m very disappointed that… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/26 08:06 PM |
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