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Few-Laugh-6508 Archive

View 8 posts and 688 comments by Few-Laugh-6508 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

Well hopefully you find someone who's brain is still on that level as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 04:14 PM
5

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:34 PM
3

Lol exactly. I'll take a real man instead of someone using "monkey brain" as an excuse for hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:32 PM
13

I get not preferring an article of clothing, just not enough to actually make an issue over it, especially if it makes your partner happy. This seems so inconsequential to make a big deal out of, especially when there are so many other potential issues. People see things differently though
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 11:38 AM
8

But to hate something? I personally would feel it trivial and inconsequential if my husband had a wardrobe I like and one item I didn't care for but he really liked. He also feels likewise.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 11:09 AM
12

Ugly is also subjective. But I'm not understanding why he feels so intensely about a item of clothing that is not immodest.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 11:05 AM
27

Why does he feel so strongly about it? Especially if it makes you happy and is flattering?
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 10:53 AM
2

5 years older. I wouldn't really consider anyone more than 2 years younger if I were dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 07:09 AM
–

Men who desire children are not rare. Sure most people aren't ready to settle down in their early 20s, but that doesn't mean they don't want children down the line. To that end, a woman who never wants children would not be a compatible partner. So you have decided that even reputable scientific sources are out to get men? Women overall end up better off and more supported after a divorce than men do, it really is just the facts How so? Women ALSO lose half of everything. No judge will award ina…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 04:40 AM
–

I don't have time right now to look them up, but this is a pretty well known fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 11:29 PM
–

There are plenty of statistics that demonstrate men are more likely to stray.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 10:48 PM
–

Many many cases do not award alimony. I am currently attempting to reconcile with my husband, but if it does not work, I have no intention of getting alimony. Women still lose half their assets in divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 10:01 PM
2

?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 09:58 PM
–

I cited multiple studies that showed how men benefitted more. Women do also benefit from marriage. There are men who legitimately desire monogomy and who legitimately want children. Correct not every woman is a good wife, but they don't represent the rest of us. What do you consider a traditional wife? How do you feel that monogomy and children mean women are getting all of their needs met ? Men need emotional support just as much they just don't know how to ask for it. They should still get it …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 09:58 PM
7

I agree!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 07:28 PM
–

No, I didn't. Marraige doesn't have a monopoly on cooperation either. You said men are the "floor managers of the nuclear family." Where did I say ignoring consent is an option? I lamented that you characterize communicating one's needs as "making demands". Under your logic communicating needs is only ever making demands. You are projecting the rejection of healthy ways of communicating onto me. Please tell me where I equated healthy communication with making demands. If those are equal to you, …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 07:25 PM
–

Pretty sure I asked how men benefit. You stated men have the sole responsibility of managing the family. They do not therefore one of the benefits is to have a partner that works side by side with them. So I can want my needs met I just cannot communicate that desire. Awesome, and hilarious that you see no paradox here Most concerning is that you seem to feel that to express your needs you must either one make demands or to ignore consent. Because those are the two criteria I said that would mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 06:26 PM
–

I keep thinking this topic will get tiring, but apparently not. But beyond that, the husband status is just the floor manager of the nuclear family now: all responsibilities and no benefits. Not even intangible benefits like status, only obligations Both partners manage the family. Do you honestly know women who don't work, don't contribute to the running of the home, have nothing to do with their kids, etc? In fact, men expecting emotional or sexual reciprocation seems to be an invitation to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 05:49 PM
–

I won't speak for everyone obviously, but I know a lot of women, including myself, still find men who aren't "fit" attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 12:11 PM
–

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 12:02 PM
–

Y'all will eventually get tired of this argument, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 11:32 AM
7

Everyone has them and we each have ones that we don’t really mind and others that are deal breakers. Lying is the biggest deal breaker for me. Also, if you were married to a man who gave you absolutely everything you desired, materially, intellectually, emotionally, sexually and was a great father to your children, would you tolerate him sleeping with someone else occasionally? 1) No one can do this. 2) No, because sleeping with someone else would be the opposite of what I need in a monogamous r…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:37 PM
1

Whatever works for you and makes you feel better.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 07:41 PM
1

Except it isn't true.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 07:36 PM
–

You're right, I did.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:49 PM
–

Huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:49 PM
–

So true!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:17 AM
5

Good thing I don't believe that is appropriate, and I don't lie about boundaries I agree to keep. And yes I would say the same thing if that was a boundary from the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 10:41 PM
6

I'm extremely sex positive. Why do you need to be pro porn/erotic to be sex positive?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 10:39 PM
5

That's not true. I am very much wanting to stay married. Also here is a study on men https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/men-and-marriage-research-brief.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjSmo-G9M6EAxUTEFkFHRMMAZkQFnoECCsQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3taIEvf255D8obEENZdrUL
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 10:38 PM
6

That I'm not hypocritical?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:04 PM
4

Why would I want that?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:04 PM
7

No, its because I'm married.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:00 PM
7

No I don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:00 PM
2

The figure drops to 21% single in the age bracket of 30-40
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:00 PM
7

I'm not looking for dating options.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:56 PM
11

Nope. I'm only concerned with my own relationship, and the right to sex work isn't my objection.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:54 PM
10

Well a boundary is something she won't tolerate for herself in a relationship. So you can argue semantics all day long.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:53 PM
10

32% of men in the US report being single, so not sure about your math.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:50 PM
11

So if a woman say porn is a boundary for her, if you don't agree to that boundary you man up and say so. You definitely don't pretend to agree and do what you are going to do anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:44 PM
4

Ok sounds good. I'm sure most men think about their SO and definitely don't watch porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:42 PM
12

So that is a fallacy because it eventually carries over. And are you advocating men just lie if a partner expresses a boundary and pretend to go with it?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:29 PM
10

No it isn't. Explaining why I believe porn is wrong will have zero impact, I will just be told I must be controlling and unrealistic. Having standards isn't wrong, and if you don't agree with them don't be with someone who has standards you don't believe in.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:24 PM
26

Its simple, if you believe porn is your right, then don't date/marry someone who does not agree with it. See how easy that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:16 PM
2

Mutual respect should be give simultaneously (presuming you mean one on one interactions). Respect must be maintained once given.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:18 PM
1

If you have a giant list of people who would have sex with you, Who in the world has a giant list of sexual partner options?!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:07 PM
1

In what way? If any woman is an option, without any standards or morals, then you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:05 PM
2

In what way? If any woman is an option, without any standards or morals, then you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:05 PM
1

I like sex more than most men, so that isn't an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 05:04 PM
5

I will never beg. I will never try to catch someone who doesn't want to be caught. I will never try to convince someone to be with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 02:18 PM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 11:51 PM
2

To have sex on tap as you call it require zero morals and zero standards. If we are eliminating all standards and all morals then both men and women have this option. No believe it or not a lot of women don't find which all consider the most attractive men attractive. I personally find arrogance as one of the biggest turn-offs and I'm not alone in that. Also as I've explained countless times attractive is subjective. Before I got married I dated everything from a guy who was an in shorter than m…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 11:09 PM
1

They literally aren't true.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 10:46 PM
1

We decided not to cut it out but to continue being careful. There isn't a substitute needed because we don't have a limited number of options.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/24 09:07 PM
2

So your overall premise is that if women opt to have zero standards or morals they can have as much sex as they want?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 06:20 PM
5

Then men also have this. It does require the lack of standards, disregard of diseases, and lack of concern about quality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 06:18 PM
3

It was a very long hard road, but we really do love each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 05:47 PM
4

On everyone area? Easily accessible? Can a man flip his phone and be in contat with such woman I'm sure that there is some woman that is easy in most places. Your argument is that women have access to a person with a dick, so by the same token men have access to a person with a vagina. Entirely arbitrary argument with no relation to the argument previous made. How is it no relation when it's literally the entire argument? Strawman In what way? I'm a woman, and sometimes my husband isn't in the m…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:47 PM
2

The availability of any random person of the opposite sex does not represent "sex on tap." By that definition I'm sure there's homeless women who are drug addicts that men could sleep with. Does that mean that they also have sex on tap? Using the example of being willing to sleep with anybody with a dick is a false premise, and having standards doesn't mean that it is "available but we just aren't taking advantage of it." It is expressed many times in the sub that women in long-term relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:25 PM
–

Despite seeing this is a false premise first hand in multiple other couples, I will only use my own situation. We both came from families living paycheck to paycheck, and we built our lives and finances up together.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:48 PM
5

He appeared to have all the qualities I listed. I didn't learn that he was faking some of them until after we were married.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:33 PM
–

Most women don't have a male "back up plan" for financial gain. There is a large portion of women that came from families living paycheck to paycheck, and didn't marry into money.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:20 PM
–

If we're speaking anecdotally, then the premise is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:15 PM
12

Burden of proof is on the person who makes statement, not the recipient. Do you have any actual reputable sources? Are you not able to answer the question?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:13 PM
10

You should be able to answer the question if it is so easy to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:05 PM
2

Be with someone you really love and who shares your standards. If sex with one person is boring, then y'all aren't doing it right.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:04 PM
–

That didn't answer my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:02 PM
7

Well I don't have that issue, and my libido is higher so yes women can be sexually frustrated and not have "sex on tap."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:00 PM
9

How are women picky and neurotic?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:59 PM
7

Don't really know what your point is here but women can get sex whenever they want very little effort I don't see how this is a debate. FWBs, hookups, LTRs whatever So you don't believe in LTRs men are ever not in the mood?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:54 PM
–

Basically around 90 % of the cases, there´s a male, male´s family or father with more resources than her. Where did you get these "statistics"?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:51 PM
9

They do, but that doesn't make their whole life a breeze. That's silly. You do know that consent is a thing right? That all men aren't down for sex 24/7 for their entire lives? That stress, life, etc get in the way for both genders? I agree with this. Naturally women can only be attracted to these men Where did you get this idea? I'm extremely attracted to my husband, but he is not what yall describe as attractive. Plenty of women feel this way about their significant others who don't match y'al…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:45 PM
14

How exactly are women's problems self inflicted and mental? Just sexually, or everything?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:43 PM
7

Correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:40 PM
12

Right 🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:40 PM
9

He asked me to come back and try once more to reconcile, and he got serious about being honest, working on himself, practicing empathy, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 01:22 PM
13

No, there was a lot of things that happened. I finally left which was his wake up call.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 01:20 PM
9

He is now. He had some of them, but others took time.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 01:18 PM
15

The biggest things I have ever wanted are honesty, loyalty, loving, high ethical values, good work ethic, etc. Attraction is important, but attractive is subjective. Hence why different women find different things attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 01:10 PM
47

That women all have sex on tap and that makes their whole lives a breeze, all women want only the hottest, tallest, richest men, and all women are after men's money. This is the biggest echo chamber for these things that I have ever seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 12:43 PM
1

What are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 12:36 PM
0

More importantly, why are you describing people by their struggles on a regular basis?!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:44 AM
0

Why do you need easily identify someone by their struggles?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:28 AM
3

Why do you need a label? A season of struggle doesn't define someone, therefore it shouldn't be used to label them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:09 AM
–

What he is saying is the same as so many men up here ...you are ridiculous for expecting men to live up to sexual standards, but they are completely reasonable expecting women to. They want a woman to know they should be very sexually innocent and want to give herself to him, but also be ok with the fact that he will always direct his sexual energy towards other women on a screen no matter how she feels about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:00 AM
5

A human being.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 12:22 AM
1

I learned that there are small portion of women who are hypocritical about porn? Ok sure. You know of two, so that does support that these are the outliers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:20 PM
1

You are literally being difficult for absolutely no reason. The vast majority of women who oppose porn aren't creating porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:14 PM
1

Ok. Then the vast majority of women who morally/ethically opposed to porn aren't also creating porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:02 PM
1

So you know one woman like this, so its prevelent? I had to look up the person you mentioned...it says she called the industry practices corrupt, not that men shouldn't watch porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 10:51 PM
–

Comorbidities are also a significant factor, and the study was referencing flu and pneumonia. Women are also more likely to power through than men. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s15010-020-01537-x https://irp.nih.gov/blog/post/2021/09/study-explores-sex-differences-in-flu https://time.com/4489297/hillary-clinton-pneumonia-working-women/
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:18 AM
1

How much my husband earns is irrelevant, I care about his work ethic. Earning more does not mean dating/marrying down, and a good income does not necessarily require a college education.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 07:30 AM
–

Haha in what way?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:32 AM
–

Haha I have seen how men act when they have a cold....pretty sure the human race would die out if men had to deal with pregnancy and childbirth.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:50 PM
1

I do agree with that statement fully, however I have other forms of significant value. Are you implying that my value in romantic relationships is gone?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:41 PM
1

Why should it? By this logic, in a relationship it would be impossible to interact with any attractive likable person of the opposite sex without falling for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:20 PM
13

I dont think any woman who has a problem with porn is also literally producing said porn. Part of the issue is porn changes how you respond to arousal and sex. It however is "easier" and "more exciting" so consequences be damned.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:18 PM
2

Not everyone has chemistry with each person they are around. They can genuinely like you in a platonic way and not have romantic feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:16 PM
2

So since I'm done having children you are implying that I no longer have any real value?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:15 PM
1

Why do you feel that isn't the same threshold for women?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:13 PM
4

So why would you think women would be romantically attracted to every male friend?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:05 PM
4

This is an awful way to live. I can't imagine my entire perception of value being in my relationship status.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 08:56 PM
2

Maybe you don't realize value is more than looks? Millions of honest loyal men are married and happy. So perhaps they are onto something yall don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 08:47 PM
4

Are you romantically attracted to every female you are remotely friendly with?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 08:42 PM
8

This has got to be an exhausting way to live.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 08:27 PM
4

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 03:38 PM
2

Funny, I'm the disciplinarian.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 03:20 PM
17

Or it could mean she used to be young and dumb, drink/party a lot, etc. Women aren't stupid enough to think that immediate sex keeps a man. No clue where that came from.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 02:59 PM
7

If your baby is tolerating breastfeeding and you want to do it, then continue! Weight loss is not your priority right now, neither is looking "sexy enough." If this is his typical behavior, I would strongly consider whether you and your children are safe and respond accordingly.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/24 05:02 AM
18

Respectfully, trying to kick down doors, holes in walls, and throwing an absolute screaming tantrum is not excusable. Forgivable (if genuinely sorry and correcting? Yes. But excusable no. This was also done in front of an infant and a child. There is no excuse. This man wants her to stop breastfeeding their baby to "look more attractive" which shows that he is selfish and not a worthy leader.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/24 04:43 AM
18

Its interesting that women are considered the cause of dead bedrooms.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 09:59 PM
10

There isn't justification to cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 09:50 PM
2

I'm also a nurse btw 😊
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/24 09:16 PM
2

It works very well for us! There have been years (or partial years) he was the sole earner, most years he earned more than me, and now I am the higher earner. There has never been resentment over who's money did what or who paid for what; our income is 100% joint income 😊
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/24 09:15 PM
3

I was expressing sympathy for your situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 04:42 PM
1

Why would you think I felt threatened?!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 04:22 PM
1

Then you understand that RPW is about vetting men as effective leaders in a relationship, and understanding what feminine behaviors/attitudes men are most attracted to. It is understanding what men need to feel fullfilled in a LTR/marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 03:03 PM
–

You are listed his presumed deficits without knowing him or his situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:56 PM
–

Its odd that the men here do more bashing of other men, but the women are blamed for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:53 PM
1

Red pill women is COMPLETELY different than red pill men. And no, there isn't a height requirement within that group. That is not at all what that group is about.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:50 PM
–

I don't think that at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:38 PM
3

If you feel that way so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:36 PM
9

No, not gaslighting. Just saying the majority of women aren't like this, but I'm sorry you have dealt with so many who are.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:10 PM
10

This has got to be a sad way to live.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 01:59 PM
7

Most women?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 01:53 PM
2

Its not ok to call someone creepy just because you aren't attracted to them. Creepy isn't lack of attraction, it is a set of significantly concerning behaviors that lead to legitimate safety concerns.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 01:30 PM
–

Why do you feel you are striking out with women? Have you ever received any constructive criticism?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 01:23 PM
14

Both of our checks go into the same account, with the exception of a small amount that gets put into savings. We then cover everything out of that account (bill, expenses, dates, vacations, etc).
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/24 04:13 AM
1

I'm in the same situation and its so frustrating. Make up sex has always been off the table, and he shuts down if we have a disagreement. Its gotten better (he used to ignore me for days unless it was unavoidable like about the kids), but things are definitely tense for a while.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/24 06:54 PM
1

So you're saying that you actually know couples who never fight? They never have conflict?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:22 PM
1

Wtf are you saying then? Because the only way what you say applies is if you don't believe in consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:39 PM
1

Why do you consider settling because you cant have what you really want as healthy? Would you want a woman to not want you, but marry you for sex and a paycheck?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:19 PM
1

So you are advocating for non consentual sex?!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:05 PM
1

Wow y'all's poor wives.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:04 PM
0

No thanks. I don't need pity sex or anyone's money. I would rather be alone than spend my life with a man who didn't want me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:58 PM
0

So you use them? Wtf?!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:52 PM
0

What do you mean? Why in the world would you want to spend your life with someone you really didn't want?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:42 PM
1

Conflict once or twice a year isn't even remotely realistic. If you never have conflict you either don't talk or don't spend time together.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:32 PM
1

Hard seasons happen, sometimes through no one's fault. Life will never be perfectly harmonious, no matter who you marry.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:06 PM
1

Having conflict, difficult life circumstances, or hard seasons does not in any way mean you don't love your partner and they weren't your most desired.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 01:54 PM
1

If you aren't marrying your first choice and instead settling, you shouldn't get married. No one deserves to be a consolation prize.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 01:51 PM
–

In the real world it is fine. Only here (and ironically most by men) is it considered bizarre.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 11:51 AM
–

You conveniently skipped the part about I wouldn't give it a second thought in my 20s. You specifically asked what I would currently think, hence my answer. Do you not see the difference in a 22yo virgin and a 40yo virgin who had one kiss in his life?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 10:29 AM
–

I'm sorry if most women you are around aren't kind. I would definitely recommend surrounding yourself with better people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:41 AM
–

So the women find it perfectly fine, but the men don't, so therefore the men are right about what women think?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:34 AM
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Its weird, because even the comments here don't reflect that. Ironically the negative ones are mostly men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:31 AM
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I have younger teenage sons and I just can't fathom the idea of them expecting to already be sexually experienced. That is revolting to me personally. Ironically enough, the uptick in porn shows a statistical correlation with a decrease in partnered sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:16 AM
–

it's why male virginity is a huge insecurity even in early teens. This should absolutely be seen as a problem. f you were to go on a first date tomorrow with some guy you hardly know, everything goes great and you plan to hookup but the guy randomly tells you he's got 0 sexual experience, had 1 kiss in his life, never touched a women etc??? You wouldn't be turned off?? I would have serious reservations, but that's because I'm pushing 40. I would definitely wonder why a man my age was in that sit…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:08 AM
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I'm just curious why potentially drunken ONS would "vet" a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:54 AM
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So it's not relationships, just whether or not someone has been willing to have sex with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:49 AM
–

Why do y'all think we need other women to "test drive" a man to make him desirable?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:43 AM
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Do you realize that in a healthy relationship, both partners will have to teach each other? A man willing to learn how to please the woman he is with is a priceless attribute. Men who think they "know" because of their experience and don't want guidance are not desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:42 AM
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That is absolutely not normal or healthy. In fact, that would be a red flag for history of abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:40 AM
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Why do you feel being a virgin disgusts women?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:06 AM
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Really? I just scrolled through.... most are saying its perfectly fine! I saw one or two women say no (one was 30), but the handful of comments saying it was bad were mostly men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 06:35 AM
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1) Those women are not common in the real world. 2) Even the most experienced men are usually mediocre to average until they learn your body and what you like. 3) The most experienced men are usually the worst in bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 06:30 AM
–

We really shouldn't normalize kids losing their virginity though. 22 and a virgin is perfectly fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 06:19 AM
1

I would just like to point out that when you start adding drugs and/or alcohol, this skews the results. Yeah, I do agree that it is absurd that they aren't honest with themselves, and know that they can't play the same cards as someone who is naturally more gifted Why are we calling the ability to f*ck multiple women and throw them away afterwards gifted? Most men will never get more sex out of multiple women as opposed to being in a relationship (or even "situationship") with one. I see a lot o…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 04:02 PM
1

Yes, the staged and filmed experiments? I have seen them. Just a thought....maybe a total stranger willing to have sex within ten seconds of meeting is not someone you actually want to be with. That sounds like someone with nothing to lose....you can gamble with your life of you want to, I'm good. How much more sex would some of these men have if 1) they didn't hate women 2) they saw women as more than a cum hole and 3) actually invested time into a relationship? Oh wait that's right, they aren'…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 03:29 PM
1

How is changing a tire related to flawed morality?
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/24 01:48 PM
4

Haha lots of older millennials can drive a stick, but I agree about younger people.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/24 01:46 PM
1

That's true. Perhaps if they actually valued a woman vs seeing her as orifices for orgasm they would have more access to sex. Just a thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 01:28 PM
1

But the whole premise is not that they are, it's that it is perceived they could. As if, for example if my husband isn't in the mood I could just walk down the street and find a willing stranger. Its so far outside of reality its insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 01:27 PM
1

Hmmm I have to think on that concept for a bit.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 03:56 PM
1

Do you think he believes it's not sincere? Almost like if it's a bad day then you must be trying to trick him?
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 03:40 PM
1

Thanks! What do you mean by downsides?
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 03:31 PM
5

Stop looking for the laboratory purity in everyday life. Easy difficulty is still difficulty, and you can lose even on easy difficulty. Great, then you acknowledge that women don't have access to "sex on tap." You must be very young or overall inexperienced if you think life is mostly easy as long as there is sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 03:14 PM
4

So you presume that a male partner is NEVER not in the mood for any reason? An orgasm is easy, I'm not referring to that. No. This mentality assumes that sex exists and the desire for sex exists. You can have life easy in one thing and hard in another. So how does this supposed access to sex mean women "live life on easy mode"?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 03:05 PM
3

One you assume it's easy to satisfy. You assume that no woman is ever sexually frustrated. This mentality also assumes that the only thing to life is sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 02:46 PM
14

The potential of having sex does NOT make for an easy life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 02:13 PM
–

Are you missing a penis?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 04:39 AM
5

Casual sex is a purely physical experience. Married sex is an all encompassing intimate experience that is much more than physical.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 04:59 PM
1

68.45% of women in the US are married. This doesn't include LTR/cohabitation. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/08/for-valentines-day-facts-about-marriage-and-dating-in-the-us/ https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-statistics/ https://www.statista.com/statistics/242030/marital-status-of-the-us-population-by-sex/
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 03:03 AM
1

What is your source?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 02:50 AM
11

Yeah I have person never seen it in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:04 PM
1

I do agree it is not a common, but I think stigma and shame keep us from realizing it is not as rare as we think.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 09:26 PM
1

I agree. All fathers (minus abuser, unsafe, etc) need to realize that they should have an active role in their children's lives. Even now I am gone in a way that has the least impact on my kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 08:01 PM
3

Lol fair point 🤣 I forgot, we are all just robbing our husbands blind, and have nothing of our own we have worked for. 🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:17 PM
2

Lol I'm gonna tell my husband he better hurry up and start packing 🤣 Although his response to most of the post in this sub is "wtf" or "you really should come out of the basement and get off the computer screen."
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:12 PM
0

There are circumstances that lead to mother's working for a variety of reasons. I spent the majority of the day with mine when they were little, and then they had time with their dad. They benefitted from having both parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:06 PM
4

Why would they? Unless he is barely making enough to scrape by because of poor work ethic, poor management, etc it shouldn't be a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:02 PM
2

I see actual abusers that are known abusers get relationships with more ease than the incels that remain alone You have seen actual abuser start abusing from initial meeting and advertise it well, and they still get women?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:57 PM
1

Controlling is bad, regardless of gender. Women tend to be far more willing to submit to a man who is a kind and loving leader.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:53 PM
3

You do realize that abusers don't advertise themselves as such correct? Those things are usually hidden until they feel the partner is more likely to feel trapt. I promise there are no women saying "omg I met my prince charming...he is gonna beat the shit out of me and all!"
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:52 PM
4

This comment wins 🤣🤣🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:50 PM
1

I think its because submissive took on an entirely different meaning. I'm fine submitting to my husband as long as he is being a worthy leader, and he is respecting me. I likewise must do the same. Its when the perception becomes the partners are not equal in the relationship that there is a problem, or leadership is abused for the sake of being controlling. Physical strength shouldn't allow for things to go sideways quickly, so I'm not sure about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:49 PM
1

I mean there are some I'm sure, but that's not what I meant. I was referring to jobs that have more available working hours to choose from.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:43 PM
1

Can you clarify what you mean please? I don't want to comment if I'm misunderstanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:42 PM
1

I think (at least in places like this sub) its because they are being used synonymously with control, domineering, manipulative, and apathetic. The thing is, they are none of these things and shouldn't be used to describe them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:33 PM
2

Remote work is a good option, but there are other career fields that allow flexibility as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:32 PM
2

Traits such as assertive, dominant, strong personality and boundaries. Seeing and knowing yourself as a sexual person ie you aren’t ashamed of the sexual aspect of masculinity These are all desirable traits. It beomes problematic when it is used to degrade women, see women as subservient rather than partners, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:29 PM
3

I think it is just probably a situation where you need to find a secure man truthfully.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 06:15 PM
3

That isn't what it was asking though. Plenty of blue collar jobs pay very well.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 05:56 PM
1

Wdym?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:46 PM
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No one has ever said no consent, so please do not turn it into that. The concept is that out of love, you do things to put your partner first.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:44 PM
-7

The idea is that both partners seek to meet the needs of the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:41 PM
0

We are. A deep desire ro have sex does not naturally equate with the ability to be intimate.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:40 PM
-6

I'm definitely not advocating for sex or physical intimacy when both partners don't desire it. I'm asking if your partner was there for you in a meaningful way, you would still feel gross giving them say a hug and explaining that its not personal and you still love them?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:34 PM
3

Yes, actively wanting it. I for the life of me don't understand why there is a perception that women don't have higher libidos or spontaneous sexual desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:33 PM
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You would feel gross showing love to your partner in a way that is meaningful to them?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:29 PM
10

I have absolutely deeply desired sex as a woman and been unwilling due to conflict in the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:28 PM
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Yes, my ability to attract male attention has made my whole life an absolute cake walk 🤯🤦‍♀️ Y'all do realize life it more than just sexual encounter to sexual encounter right?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 01:23 PM
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You are showing ignorance in thinking that brute force can trumps everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 01:01 PM
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You could kill a woman in under a minute?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 12:30 PM
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Not sure why you think women do that. But yes it does sound absolutely realistic that each one of these women have a whole army of servants fighting over who gets to do what for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:20 AM
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Y'all really got to start surrounding yourself with better people. Also it sounds like you may be partaking in the drugs you were referring to, since your perception of reality is pretty skewed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:16 AM
8

I'm not needy, I can make choices without constantly seeking input, and I can take care of myself. I can handle my own responsibilities without putting more on him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:10 AM
2

In what way?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:07 AM
7

Intellect, drive, love, compassion, empathy, sex, independence and success. I love fiercely, care for him emotionally and am a safe place for him, I have a high sex drive and love to please him, and I'm intelligent, successful, and accomplished in my own right. I'm with him because I love him and don't want to do life without him, not because I'm forced to rely on him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 10:28 AM
2

Are these men you are seeing earning good incomes, just not as high as yours? Or are they earning an income that would be difficult to live off of?
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 05:25 AM
7

It sounds like he completes with romantic partners truthfully. Driven, accomplished, etc shouldn't be a threat, even if these characteristics are evident outside of work.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 04:51 AM
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So in what way does that make it desirable?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:49 AM
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Being a decent human being isn't being a doormat.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 12:54 AM
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I'll never understand why y'all think apathetic asshole is what women like.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 12:50 AM
6

I personally don't understand this mentality. If two people in a marriage are earning good income, it takes some of the stress off. We both started from the bottom and worked our way up; he was the higher earner for over a decade, but I recently exceeded his income. It's not a big deal to him at all, and he encourages it so if anything ever happens to him, I have the means to support myself and my kids.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 12:39 AM
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Can you cite any reputable sources regarding intimate partner violence being 70% women abusers? I have actually studied this so I already know the correct answer, but I'm curious how you got this number.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:56 PM
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What world are yall living in?! 1) Not even addressing the risk factors, but if a woman walks up to a random stranger and says "hey wanna have sex?" you think he is going to say yes?! Or is he going to think "ok this is clearly a nut job I don't want anything to do with." Its going to be the latter. 2) Even in a marriage, a woman cannot have sex whenever they want. No freaking woman has sex on demand 24/7. Yall would be a lot less bitter if you acknowledged this reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:54 PM
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So a woman who isn't willing to risk pregnancy, disease, etc for a statistically expected unsatisfying sexual encounter with a complete stranger doesn't understand sexual frustration?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:50 PM
1

That makes sense, thank you.
/r/RedPillWives17/02/24 12:19 PM
2

Yeah it definitely is higher risk for cardiac events/stress ramifications. I think it is important to accept personality as good and be as healthy as possible within your natural abilities.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 08:39 PM
1

That unfortunately isn't at all the definitions of the personality type at all.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 08:29 PM
2

No disrespect, but I just want to hit my head on the wall. ATTRACTION IS NOT JUST A PHYSICAL THING. I tolerated years of mistreatment, because I love my husband. Am I attracted to him? Yes. Is he anything like what yall describe as the "top 10 or 20%"? No. I will say that with the caveat that we have both now reached six figure incomes, but that does not play a role. We have been together 17 years and getting close to 16 years of marriage. When we got married we both making $12/hr, renting a tin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 01:38 PM
1

I completely agree with what he did! He's definitely a successful, hardwoking, and provides a good life for us, but he also has a humanitarian/SJW side that is certainly not type A. Why is the humanitarian/SJW side seen as not type A?
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 12:37 PM
3

I wouldn't use this sub as your reflection of society, it's overall rather toxic. Women are becoming more picky, but not the way you think. Women no longer have to tolerate bad relationships and it does lead to them holding men to a higher standard than in the past. That has nothing to do with appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 11:39 AM
0

This is such an exhausting take.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 12:40 AM
2

Here is a question worth pondering....when did we decide that attractive, good personality, driven, etc is "settling"? When did we decide that anything less than a 10 out of 10 is not good enough?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 11:58 PM
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I can like people with high morals and still like people. But I was actually referring to higher quality sex. Most women aren't interested in disappointing sex, no matter how high their libido or desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:46 PM
1

If it was you who down voted my responses, would you be willing to explain why?
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 06:25 PM
1

Betraying your spouse in the most intimate way is not a "bump in the road."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:14 PM
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What in the world do you even mean? There are no women in their 20s who like gaming and aren't fat?!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 05:05 PM
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1) What kind of women are you looking for? What type of women are the studies about? Why does real life not mimic these results? 2) I happily chose an "average" guy. I had men 5-15 years younger, 6 packs, etc reaching out, and I was completely off put by them. And I prefer "geeks." 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:50 PM
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It's really got to be miserable living like this...why keep doing it? Women get fucked by a top tier guy once or twice and then they think they deserve only this level of guy lol the other side of the coins is the simps with low self respect who actually feed those women's egos and make the situation even worse. 1) "Top tier" shows the level of ignorance. Mens perception of other men who are top tier are not what most women want. And just fyi...the more "top tier" a man thinks he is, 95% of the …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:11 PM
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Maybe some women are, but this isn't even most women. Lesbian porn is to appeal to men who fantasize about having two women at once. Not always, but the vast majority of the time. I think men may be watching too much porn if they think women are all sitting in each others laps, resting their heads in their friends' cleavage, and cuddling together. Perhaps you are confused acknowledging someone is attractive with sexual arousal? I can acknowledge another woman is attractive and still feel repulse…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:08 PM
1

I presume you don't understand statistics then? Are you saying that every woman told you that bigger is better? And that your "sample size" is enough to apply this view to the entire female population?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 03:22 PM
1

Yeah I think anybody who's been an adult for longer than 5 seconds understands that every time you walk out of the house people aren't throwing themselves at you, no matter how attractive you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 03:19 PM
1

Because in day-to-day life you shouldn't have people falling all over you unless you're doing something to make them think you are open to it. Someone who is truly faithful both carries themselves in a way to show they are not open to it, or immediately shut it down if it happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 03:13 PM
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They aren't as rare as you think. Most of the time when desire decreases in a long-term relationship, it is a reflection of other issues in the relationship not sex. Not to say that there aren't times where the quality of sex is just not good. The only thing your "evidence" points to is that men are willing to have low quality interactions that involve little to no emotional involvement. Which is why you can't comprehend why a woman would want both.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 03:08 PM
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If you love someone don't make a promise to be monogamous if you don't mean it. Stay single. The whole premise behind what you're saying is that you get to go out and have your fun and still have a wife waiting at home to take care of all of your other needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:58 PM
–

Maybe you only like higher quality 😂🤯
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:54 PM
–

Why is the concept of wanting to have sex with someone in a relationship so foreign? Why does it mean that a woman couldn't possibly enjoy sex if that's what she wants?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:50 PM
–

So women can only like sex if they're willing to screw anyone with a dick?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:47 PM
–

There's no winning. If a woman has sex with strangers, she's "low value" and a whore. If she doesn't have sex with random strangers she must hate sex. If she likes sex in the context of a relationship, then she's just settling to get money or security. If her desire to have sex drops off because her needs aren't getting met, then she lied and pulled a bait and switch. If her libido is lower than her man's, then she's not meeting his needs and fulfilling her part of the relationship. If her libid…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:43 PM
–

How exactly did you come to this conclusion?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:39 PM
–

Y'all have got to get tired of this argument at some point. A woman not wanting to have sex with a stranger doesn't mean that women don't want sex as much as men. There are many many women with high libidos, but context matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:38 PM
3

If you're engaging in this much attention there's something you're doing that is making yourself appear open to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:36 PM
15

Then don't enter on monogamous relationship. See, problem solved.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:36 PM
1

You do realize only men are obsessed with size right? Women fixated on "bigger is always better" are uncommon.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:03 PM
7

My money is on porn addiction. He seems very content and unconcerned, and I would think if it was potentially low testosterone it would be causing him distress. I honestly can't think of how in the world a woman could let herself go enough to even consider that, especially since she said it has always been this way.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 02:00 PM
11

Treating someone with respect is treating them as an equal. I'm married, so a bit different, but all of our money goes into the same account, so we both contribute everything to the household expenses and recreational activities. Edited to add: I'm not a "feminist" per se, I just believe men and women are equal, both bring equal value to the relationship, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:01 AM
6

women prefer a man who is invested in a relationship, committed to them, and willing to provide and protect them. Women also want men who are chivalrous — who pay for dates and open doors for them. As a woman I absolutely want this. I don't know if this is some weird "wanting your cake and eating it too" type shit; or maybe "trad for thee but not for me", or just that women legitimately don't know what they want. Feminists have been feminizing men (or trying to feminize men) for as long as they'…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 05:24 AM
0

Some of the issues we are working through in our marriage that led us to separate and plan for a divorce. His recovery, how he feels about things, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 03:57 AM
0

There is some of it that is more serious, so that advice does help. On the more serious stuff I immediately catch issues and am quick to point them out rather than gathering myself so I can be respectful and calmer. Because I am quick thinking, a problem solver, and a strong advocate, I immediately jump straight to addressing, and feel anger ovwr omissions.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 03:01 AM
1

Yeah omissions to avoid arguments. Now I do want to give credit, because this is something he is truly working on, but he is extremely avoidant (but progressing on changing), so its hard for him, but some of the things need to be discussed.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 02:58 AM
2

Thank you for this, it is really helpful!
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 01:30 AM
1

Yeah, that is why I definitely need help with the quick thinking, but slower speaking for sure.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 12:59 AM
2

That makes sense. I know in day to day, I need to slow down and think about responses, because I'm more likely to mistake his meaning or respond to his irritability with sarcasm. Someone suggested "taking a pause" which I really like. The strategy debate resonates, because part of what he does like (in the right context) is my strong will, intelligence, and unwillingness to back down for what is right.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 11:17 PM
2

We are actually married, but those seem to be qualities that RPW recommends are left outside the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:52 PM
1

Thank you!! This actually makes a lot of sense and seems doable!
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:47 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:36 PM
2

We aren't at the point where he is taking the lead, so I was more just talking about in day to day interactions if that makes sense.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:36 PM
1

I was more talking in the day to day interactions....we are working on him taking the lead, but we aren't there yet. I will go back and look at it again. I'm trying to apply some but not all of the principles, but I'm doing it a little bit differently than some of the recommendations because my husband and I have been talking about what things he wants, which principles fit our dynamic, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:35 PM
1

Its not so much yet with letting him lead (we are there yet), but more just in general conversation, areas that upset me, feeling like there may be omissions, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:26 PM
3

Because I am very accustomed to thinking quickly, having solutions, problem solving, etc. These skills and being willing to advocate for myself and others are absolutely necessary at my job.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:23 PM
1

I told him today I'll give him oral whenever he wants, and he can even decide if he still wants it during active outbreaks. This is absolutely something to be aware of going forward, too, that your "but I mean well" can be disguising more behavior that's infantilizing toward him. I'm dealing with severe depression already (yes treated, no I have no urge to hurt myself). I don't think I will be able to handle it if I give it to him, but I guess that is just part of making sacrifices for your spou…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 08:56 PM
2

Yes. Its because he lost a lot of sensation through his addiction.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 07:00 PM
1

Thank you so very much for understanding....you really have no idea how much it means to me 💕
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 06:03 PM
1

Thank you💕 I think I just feel so hurt when people assume what the issues were and that they were all related to me. I have never not loved my husband.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:49 PM
1

Hey u/pearlsandstilletos, the comment I just replied to here would be a great example of what we were just talking about.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:37 PM
0

What do you gain by being a hateful person? I am extremely attracted to my husband. One of the biggest issues in our relationship is that I want sex WITH HIM too much and that bothers him. I separated from my husband after a decade and a half of his porn addiction, lying, manipulation, and emotional abuse. I did not seek out a bad boy. I sought out a relationship. I cannot help that he (the other guy) was a narcissistic asshole who pretended to be someone he wasn't. You might want to read more c…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:35 PM
1

I guess I never saw the fact that it causes me distress at the idea of giving him a permanent non-curable illness as an atrocious infantilization. Especially considering I want to save him the pain that I've experienced. By submission I meant he is willing, and I don't want to inflict permanent pain and illness on him. To me that doesn't seem selfish but I can try to reevaluate. I actually love giving him oral, so the idea of not doing it anymore severely bothers me. It is not my preference that…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 04:47 PM
1

Yeah, it just hard knowing that is our reality now, especially considering why.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 04:11 PM
1

Because if I were enough he would be able to fully enjoy sex. The sad part is I know I'm not "loose" and I'm definitely not boring, but here we are.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 03:58 PM
2

Because he can no longer feel good enough from sex to orgasm.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 03:52 PM
1

I find it hard to believe he will be ok with it it if its anything like mine. We already don't have sex very often, and pain plus another barrier probably won't be ideal. Idk its just a lot.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 03:08 PM
1

I think my biggest fear is that he is only taking the risk because its the only form of sex that fullfills him, and that if he contracts it (unless asymptomatic) it will end the relationship anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 03:05 PM
1

Sorry, no. They don't want to do daily suppression until they know for sure. My initial infection they had to put me on the absolute max dosing because I almost ended up hospitalized. The outbreak dosing is also high.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 02:58 PM
1

I was given antivirals with both the initial outbreak and the recurrence. I'm not sure what you mean?
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 02:55 PM
4

I'm also a nurse. They want to wait and see how often and how severe outbreaks are before they do chronic suppression. I also have a chronic illness I take multiple other medications for, and they want to avoid unnecessary medications if possible. I do have acyclovir for outbreaks.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 02:43 PM
1

Thanks. I have been building up my immune system, taking supplements, etc but it looks like my period is a trigger...fml. Yeah my husband has HSV-1 and has his whole life, but I have never gotten it.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 02:04 PM
2

You said it yourself- it’s about the intimacy of being brought to orgasm by your partner. That’s a super important part of relationships for a lot of people. Yeah. It just hurts me to the core to know I'm not enough. To know that the real thing only serves as a disappointment. I guess you are right, and I should realize oral is a deal breaker in the relationship, and just let him make his own choices.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 01:41 PM
1

I'm just worried he is only focusing on not wanting to lose oral, since actually sex doesn't really do much for him. I know he won't feel like we are very intimate if we just have penatrative sex. I let it go out of my mind some and just enjoyed what we were doing, which I think is part of my guilt. I know how it completely changed my life and how severely it impacted me. I hope he really is considering the ramifications, but I also see your point about letting him make his own decisions. I just…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 01:24 PM
3

He won't use a condom for oral because he can't orgasm if he does. Its a really frustrating situation, and honestly it just highlights how inadequate I feel. This is only the first recurrence. I can't say for certain yet, but it seems the treatment worked. At the very first sign I started abreva and acyclovir, and only ended up with one cluster of blisters that appear to now be in the healing stage (its day 5). It seems that my period was the trigger because I had a sore that morning and started…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 01:15 PM
4

I was diagnosed in December, and given an antiviral for the initial infection, and a back up for any recurrence. They said they prefer to see how often and severe outbreaks are before they do chronic suppression, that way they don't medicate unnecessarily (and I have a chronic illness I already take meds for). If your relationship is in a fragile place, withholding sex may make things worse, and continue to draw attention to your behaviors during separation (which may sting for him). Yeah this i…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 01:01 PM
1

If he is asking for your assistance, it means he is being vulnerable and expressing his needs, just as you did when you communicated your own needs to him. What do you mean asking for my assistance? Refusing to support him in this moment will only set you both back, closing him off and making him feel alone, ultimately causing him to stop trying. Now is the ideal time to extend empathy How do you feel that I am refusing to support him? Take a step back, be the bigger person, and bravely tackle t…
/r/RedPillWives12/02/24 10:08 PM
–

Absolutely. Not saying I could win a fist fight with a man but I'm definitely no delicate flower waiting to be protected.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 05:56 AM
1

Best available has nothing to do with desired or undesired. Best available gets picked wether desired or undesired because all other options are worse. Short of arranged marriages, idk of any women who marry someone they don't like or want for the sake of a checklist of benefits. Seeing women around me and being aware that there is always a better man out there. Yes. Best woman available still gets picked even if the man can imagine a better woman. Maybe men have this perception because that's h…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 01:43 AM
1

I don't care about it. If I am the best available option then I will be picked whether I am desired or not. So the end result is the same. I'm not sure you understand how best doesn't equal undesired. Because women can always imagine someone better. Because there is always someone better than you out there. I'm not sure where this perception is coming from. And just as devil's advocate, aren't men typically very vocal with the fact they fantasize about having women better than their partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 01:21 AM
1

If you mean what you say, why can't you back it with actions?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:33 PM
1

Settling is accepting less than you desire. Why do you not feel that someone is a choice because they are genuinely desired? Why do you feel that best option doesn't mean that someone feels that their partner is so amazing they can't imagine being with anyone else?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:08 PM
1

You make a really good thing sound like a settle.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:16 PM
3

Like I said, not a hard and fast rule. But if it were all environment you would see more consistency.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:51 PM
4

Not as a hard and fast rule, but I think being girly or tom-boyish is more intrinsic than environmental personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:21 PM
7

1) Mental illness and loneliness are two very separate issues. One can exacerbate the other, but they are still separate. 2) Does a relatively decent life up until the age of 40 mean that you have experienced more pain that a 13 year old who has been molested for years? What about a child who is physically/emotionally abused? Homeless orphans? What about kids with cancer? Does your age give you rights that they don't have simply based on longevity? 3) Even in the realm of loneliness, you don't k…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:16 PM
8

You are trolling right? Like I'm genuinely not even being rude, I'm really hoping you are...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 03:57 PM
11

That's a pretty decent assumption though. How do you know you've experienced more life? What makes you think that some kids haven't experienced more than you have? Or that you even know their experiences?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 03:48 PM
14

If you feel it is tolerable as a teen, why isn't it tolerable at 25? 40? Etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 03:37 PM
26

A better question would be why do you feel you have to be a certain age to experience mental illness?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 03:31 PM
8

Omg 😂🤦‍♀️ Kind of makes you wonder why these men are so bitter they can't be with such horrible women lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 02:00 PM
7

They aren't mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 12:05 PM
6

Please reread choice to commit, and also consider what commitment means.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:57 AM
7

Why do you feel that women choosing to be in a relationship means they can't be happy single?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:23 AM
7

Yes, because you are essentially "putting your money where your mouth is" (using the phrase/premise only, NOT referring to finances). You are saying that you are so sincere in your commitment that you are willing to make it extremely difficult to ever back out of. A verbal agreements means if you wake up tomorrow and feel some kind of way the opportunity to walk away hassle free is openly available. Leaving that availability open causes reasonable doubt in the level of commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:08 AM
14

By choice can absolutely mean loving someone and making a commitment to do life with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:43 AM
7

Why do you believe women do what they don't want to do if they have the means not to? Doesn't the fact that women are willing to leave unhealthy marriages defy that premise?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:12 AM
8

Are these behaviors you want to continue? I ask since you are speaking in present vs past tense. Why would you want to be with someone you aren't attracted to and who you have to convince yourself is the "smart" choice?
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 09:41 AM
2

But again, many women work and make enough to support themselves/their kids. If emotional connection is a reason, then OPs premise doesn't stand.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 09:27 AM
5

They are referring to "in the future" if things keep moving in the direction they are. If that was the case, why are they not now? Many women are more than capable of doing it on their own, so why would they chose to intentionally be with a man if the OPs premise is correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 09:21 AM
9

Why do you feel women are unable to function well without a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 08:27 AM
12

Plenty of women can do it on their own. They need the man they are with to prove they are worthy of trust. Just like any human being needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 07:34 AM
45

Having a career doesn't negate the value women place on marriage/children. I don't need my husband, I want to be with him. Why would you want someone who is "stuck" with you, not someone who wants to do life with you by choice?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 07:16 AM
–

Exactly what I said. People appear don't want to hear logic they just want their beliefs validated regardless of how inaccurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 02:41 PM
–

Yeah... who needs logic. Better to perpetuate myths and bitterness.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 02:28 PM
–

On the Internet, sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 02:19 PM
–

Ridiculous isn't it? The most intriguing part to me is that they are bitter at the world because they aren't with these "horrible, manipulative, power/money hungry excuses of human existence."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:59 PM
–

And what power does being slightly more or less attractive bring exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:56 PM
–

What if he is? Attraction is subjective?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:51 PM
–

Maybe (crazy I know) we see him as what we are truly attracted to, even if someone else "perceives" him as less attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:36 PM
1

You ok?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 03:26 AM
1

You are entitled to your opinion, but you don't speak for even the majority of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:05 AM
1

That is your perception. Are you a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 12:01 AM
1

Please cite any reputable source on women only rewarding toxic men with sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 10:16 PM
-2

Imho the right man will not define you by this, and will understand who you were is not necessarily who you are now.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 07:39 PM
0

Hence why I said seek out ONS. There are men and women who prefer that. Statistics however refutes this narrative. Men are statistically happy in marriage. https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-is-happiest-married-mothers-and-fathers-per-the-latest-general-social-survey#:~:text=By%20contrast%20unmarried%20childless%20men,compared%20to%20their%20unmarried%20peers. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2003/03/married-happy https://www.foxnews.com/media/good-marriage-number-one-predictor-happiness-men-…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 07:22 PM
-1

Then they aren't mature enough to be looking for anything more than a ONS. Women want real men, not men with the mindset of teenage boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 06:36 PM
2

Good qualities win hands down, 1000x over.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 06:05 PM
2

Even at that, the first one is still not going to be the woman magnet that people on this sub thinks he would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:45 PM
-4

To each their own. However, it might be worth noted those men are usually in better LTR. You may not have sex at 15, have a forever partner at 17, or have slept with 50+ women, but those things shouldn't be the goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:25 PM
2

High quality on Reddit: 6'4+, 100k+ income, 12% body fat with ripped muscles. High quality in real life: Honest, kind, loving, ethical, and hard-working. See the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 04:45 PM
1

So the average woman has been approached by at least one guy in her lifetime, but the average guy has never had even one woman show interest?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 03:01 PM
11

Women wanting more than just a hookup doesn't mean they don't "share his libidinal or don't get aroused easily."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 03:00 PM
7

I will start off with the fact that I am working on adopting some but not all RPW principles. However this feels very concerning that you can't speak to or smile at a man without accusations of cheating/flirting, etc. Being friendly is not the same thing at all. I see nothing wrong with explaining that no you did not flirt prior to validating his feelings. Also, (and I don't mean this to defy RPW principles), but having a mature conversation and having feelings validated is a lot more likely wit…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 12:29 PM
1

Not even close.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 07:26 PM
2

I used online dating one time, during my separation. It definitely blew the narrative on here to pieces because the guy I ended up dating was about 4 -5 inches shorter than my husband, overweight, and made half his income. I had guys that are the "type" yall describe reach out. Just like I had guys 10-15 years younger than me reach out. I wanted nothing to do with those men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 03:16 PM
2

You should really meet more women. I personally will never fight for a man. If he wants to make me feel like his perception of another woman being better will make him leave, then she can have him. I don't know too many women who will stay in perpetual competition to keep a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 02:48 PM
2

How many women have you actually interacted with irl? No woman feels lucky to have a man who "exerts passive dread."
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 02:33 PM
3

I think knowing your limitations is a huge factor. Kids are a huge emotional investment even more so than financial, and its important to know how much of yourself you have to give. The number of children I had would have been the same whether SAHM or working.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 01:10 PM
4

How exactly would he know how long it had been there? If he were potentially dangerous the bag could have been packed a week or two out for a planned escape that had been orchestrated to keep her as safe as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 12:28 PM
2

What was the purpose of the "go bag"? Was it for work? Was she prepping to leave due to abuse? There are way to many unknowns, but I have never heard of anyone having a go bag because they might leave a happy marriage at some undisclosed time. Prenup wasn't even an issue when we got married because we started at the bottom and build our life together. You shouldn't be with someone that you need to ask for a paternity test from.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 12:24 PM
2

Sorry I'm just speaking in generalities, not about myself specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 07:46 PM
2

To be fair, how could a woman do that if I man has all these beliefs he bought into about why women are lower value, only want money, etc etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 06:58 PM
2

I know I am worth far more and it is well demonstrated. But I'm not rare. There are a lot of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 06:18 PM
1

Its really important to understand that a small sample size isn't representative of the whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 05:56 PM
2

By real I meant more genuine and all encompassing if that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 05:54 PM
1

This literally shows that a woman values more than money. She wants him....she wants a relationship, connection, intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 05:03 PM
0

There's no excuse for that and I am sorry that happened to him. Truly I am. But that doesn't make it commonplace, nor does it describe all women. It doesn't even describe most.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:56 PM
1

Whether the man wants a LTR, ONS, FWB or forever girlfriend (great option by the way) he'll do a lot better if he's confident, doesn't give a fuck, and knows he can have another "her" in a minute What woman would ever want this for a forever option??? Seen guys like this and their monster partners. It's horrible. I've been in this relationship. Its soul crushing. But the answer isn't to not care, its to find a partner who truly values you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:17 PM
2

So basically this is a man who literally wants nothing more than a slew of ONS? I guess its all in how you define success....
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:10 PM
7

How many real life women have you interacted with?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:08 PM
1

In what way?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:05 PM
1

Over-confidence is a turn off, while a little bit of nervousness is actually complimentary. Hate to tell you bud, but women don't "fall for" being viewed as nothing more than a human flesh light. Some may not care at times because they are using him as much as he is using her, but these men are passed over by women looking for anything real.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 03:32 PM
7

In what way do you check in often when yall are out together?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 02:40 PM
4

Oh ok gotcha. How do you act toward him now in public?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 02:31 PM
7

Is there a reason they think you should be mean for no reason?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 02:20 PM
19

They think its fake because you aren't mean to him?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 02:15 PM
35

Can you give more specific examples of what they are mocking? Just you not being mean? I don't think you will get anywhere with the one friend.... once a man tells his wife he wants her to be like someone else's wife, there is going to be bitterness and resentment (imho).
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 01:49 PM
1

Thank you. I really do want to be with him and I desperately want the intrusive thoughts to stop.
/r/RedPillWives07/02/24 12:19 AM
1

Yes I can say I've honestly seen a lot of changes. We have not revoked the separation agreement yet, but seeing the definitive changes is part of what makes me feel so guilty for struggling so hard to let it go.
/r/RedPillWives06/02/24 11:41 PM
1

He never brought the porn addiction around the kids, and he never ever did it when they were around. He is actively in recovery. He unfortunately didn't believe I would leave, and took me for granted. He justified his behavior in his own mind, but it hit him hard when I really did leave. He had an addiction for 25/26 years, but is in recovery. He has said and shown multiple times he is attracted to me, and that his type was due to what he has trained his brain essentially to like through all the…
/r/RedPillWives06/02/24 10:27 PM
1

Looking for advice. So I should tell him it doesn't matter what he wants, I'm leaving him?? How is that logical? How is it illogically for us to love each other, know we both made huge mistakes, and want to improve individually and together? Can you please explain why you feel divorce is a requirement? Especially when he absolutely does not want it?
/r/RedPillWives06/02/24 05:19 PM
2

Perhaps we have different views...I really don't see something like "hey babe, is there anything I should know about that I don't?" as lying.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 05:01 PM
2

But didn't he already lie? And then when given the choice to come clean, he lied again? I agree with being up-front, but I also know this is not very effective if someone doesn't have an issue lying. I guess I'm a little fuzzy on why being up-front would have changed things? Telling the truth because you got caught is worlds different than telling the truth.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 04:57 PM
2

Genuinely asking....why wasn't she being respectful by giving him a chance to be honest before she stated what she knew?
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 04:32 PM
1

Why is my agreeing to his request to reconcile not allow me to implement some of these principles? Men want variety of woman and instead of cheating on you with other woman he used porn instead. He has been in porn recovery for over a year. We have been working through both of our feelings about my other relationship. He has struggled intensely with feeling that it wasn't an affair, and that he knows for a fact had he not taken advantage of me for so long it would have never happened. While I do…
/r/RedPillWives06/02/24 04:28 PM
–

Perhaps changing your mindset from men have it horrible and women live like queens would help?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 03:57 PM
–

It must be so sad to believe stuff like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 03:55 PM
–

Reputable peer reviewed studies? Why aren't 80% of men single?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 03:07 PM
–

That's a myth.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 12:02 PM
–

I'm still waiting for this life of luxury I'm supposed to be living 🤦‍♀️ I work hard for my income, started literally from the bottom up with my husband, don't believe in selling my body, don't believe in abortion (unless very specific extenuating circumstances), and would rather light myself on fire before I ever let a single person see me cry.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 05:35 AM
1

Yes! Sometimes I will want to talk about it randomly another time, but by the time I get home I really don't want to rehash the 💩 show that the previous 13-14hrs was. I just have nothing left.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 12:50 AM
1

Thank you. We haven't cancelled the separation agreement, but are actively working on reconciliation. Due to the past, I am not comfortable saying divorce isn't an option, but if we continue how we are it will be off the table. I am genuinely trying to be patient with him. I think I struggle with the fact that I have expressed my needs for so many years. The biggest part of forgiveness for me is rigorous honesty....that truly goes a very long way.
/r/RedPillWives06/02/24 12:43 AM
–

Some women are as horny as men, and by some ironic twist we are usually paired with men who aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 02:43 PM
3

Before 30, and before attraction. But you have already decided that your version of attraction is what all women seek, and that is simply not true. Because asking women how they think is how we end up on the actua situation where men are getting settled and divorced. I'm not sure your line of thinking here. Women up and leaving one day for zero reason is a myth you are being sold.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 02:29 PM
3

valuable to men, not to women. I'm a woman and those are the most valuable traits to me. They aren't all of them are attracted to the same small subset of men and what you define as "difference" is just a coat of paint. You are entitled to your perception, but I'm not quite sure how you are telling women how they think.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 01:29 PM
–

If thats the case I think you are doing something wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 11:04 AM
4

Dependable, honesty, vulnerable, strong sense of morality, and good work ethic are far more valuable. Women are attracted to different types of men though, so what is often described as the ideal man may absolutely not be so to some women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 08:14 AM
2

That is just your idealism talking. Bad things happen all the time. They happen because they can happen, not because the person deserves it. We generally hold that child hood should be free from abuse. Just because we will it t be so doesn't mean thee are not children who need help Again, no one deserves it. So if you know that you will only use someone, then don't. If you know you won't be able to love a child, don't have one. that is a gateway to a pretty significant part of life. One that you…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 08:56 PM
2

If you are looking for a perfect relationship that never has conflict, irritability, exhaustion, or basically real life, then staying single is best.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 04:17 PM
5

And so my question is if my beliefs are holding me back, If the world is truly that fair why was i alone over the last 15 years. Why was there not a single inkling that i worth consideration as someones romantic partner? 1) Regardless of who you were, they are still holding you back now. 2) Why are you using 15 as the starting age? 3) Idk what held you back. Idk if it was a lack of maturity, a lack of understanding about women/relationships, an air of desperation, an inability to really put your…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 03:04 PM
8

No I don't, nor do I claim to. But in my almost 21yrs of adult life I have not met a single woman that aspires to have or is happy with a mediocre marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 12:36 PM
6

If a guy I like doesn't want me back solely because i'm not 21, then he just made it very easy for me, because my attraction for him just went out the window. ​ This is what you wrote. How is my aversion to women any different from your aversion to men who don't want you because you dont have youth to offer? Another poster said this. However, why would any woman be interested in a man that is only looking for sex with someone much younger (presuming we are still talking he is 30+)? what else cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 11:55 AM
2

I'm a lot closer to 40 than I wish I was, but I'm still waiting for this "everything you want at your fingertips" life. Not all women are interested in sexual attention from strangers. Many use social media in the conventional sense, and most don't use it to post half naked pictures. If a woman in a LTR has FWB and "thousands" of options to scroll through to find sex, might I suggest a better quality woman? Do you realize how many women actually work and have their own income? The vast majority …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 11:14 AM
11

Do you wear a work uniform and badge everywhere? Why do you think it is only about your job? I am cranky I am rude and down right mercenary. I am not the stable partner they think they are getting. If I don't get what I think I should get, I will leave. In a culture that is antidivorce I will leave them and trash their value in the marriage market. If I had to guess, this has far more to do with your relationship status than your job does. You see women as a commodity that has to constantly be w…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 11:08 AM
8

Being seen as a prize is only as valuable as the prize seeker.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 10:59 AM
8

A mediocre marriage is not ok period.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 10:53 AM
4

This may not be a popular way of looking at it but one of the things that helped us is that we decided when I work that, unless something was absolutely pressing, we didn't address anything big. We either eat sitting with each other, lightheartedly talk if I'm up to it, or just lay in bed and watch TV. I'm so mentally and physically drained when I get home I literally have nothing left to give short of an absolute necessity. We have discovered having a realistic expectation for after work has de…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 01:49 PM
1

It will take time I realize, but I'm trying to believe him. If we continue talking like we did yesterday I think it will help. The only part of the plan I'm not following is I am telling him what I need and am letting him know when I'm upset, and he is doing the same which was a huge for us. I think that at this stage there are things that have to be dealt with to rebuild the foundation, and not rebuilding the foundation is part of the cycle we have been on. I genuinely do see he is trying, and …
/r/RedPillWives02/02/24 09:22 PM
2

He is genuinely trying, I just need to be more understanding of his efforts. I am implementing some of the principles but not all, and seeing how it goes....we actually had a really good genuine talk yesterday, so I'm hoping we can continue that.
/r/RedPillWives02/02/24 08:49 PM
1

I think you might find it rather interesting, especially if you have a bit of a nerd side (I do lol) that likes knowing why things work the way they do!
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 04:48 PM
2

I totally agree, and it is definitely something I fight as well. As a mentioned I live in Bible Belt, which is also the Deep South, so all of my judgment work actually began with all the things about race I had grown up with as “fact” and doing a lot of questioning of the community beliefs I grew up and that permeate the old south. I'm a Christian, but I do believe we do a diservice to youth in sex education. With that being said, if it is something you are interested in, the psychology behind p…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 02:15 PM
1

Thank you for being willing to be vulnerable and here me out. Truthfully there are a lot of people who struggle with porn addiction, and a lot of people who loathe porn but are sex positive and the furthest thing from vanilla. I totally get the judgement thing, as I struggle too. Life has humbled me more than once when I judge a situation before I lived it firsthand and thats a bitter pill to swallow.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 01:42 PM
4

If that is indeed what is happening i wonder if they are actually choosing a fantasy that they feel they cannot share with their partner and the porn is giving them what they cannot get otherwise. I can only use my own experience, but I have talked to countless women who have very similar circumstances. I have always been the HL and kinkier partner. Always. I have introduced him to things he never thought he would do irl or he wasn't sure he would be into. The vast majority of men in porn addict…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 01:15 PM
8

Respectfully you have every right to decide porn is ok in your marriage, just like other people have every right to decide it isn't. If porn is a boundary it is absolutely a big deal, and OPs partner has explicitly lied and said he "hates porn and doesn't watch it." So there is a broken boundary and broken trust. Submission shouldn't consist of allowing broken boundaries/trust, and then participating in the activity to make the offending partner feel better about it. That is compromising who she…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 11:39 AM
5

If it bothers you I think you should respectfully tell him that. There is no reason you are required to pretend to be fine with it. Also the fact that he has lied about it multiple times doesn't help. Ultimatums don't work and only cause more problems, but you can be submissive and still set boundaries of what you will not personally tolerate.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 11:33 AM
1

I mean, here's a guy with a legitimate sexual-related addiction (pornography) and yet he never initiates actual sex!?!?!? So maddening and confusing You have no idea how understood I feel seeing someone else have the exact same thoughts! This is what blows my mind! But I actually think all of those traits are related to the addiction. I agree, but I think its very convoluted. I'm not so sure it reduces their masculinity as much as it rewires their brain regarding what sex is. I think they get so…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 10:39 AM
1

It sounds like you trust him with finances (in the event of your death, not in the day-to-day management) and trust him to take care of the kids. Yes I do trust him in these things. Do you trust him to not cheat on you? Yes Imagining sex with a pornstar during sex with a partner, I consider this to be cheating. Not at all. This was done for most of our marriage, starting with my first pregnancy. He has promised he won't do it again. The last time was in October (fantasy about a woman he saw whil…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 04:57 PM
1

On reflection, perhaps he has a problem with me not needing him, because he knows I'm perfectly capable of doing well on my own. We have talked about the fact that we have really never been a team, just two adults who live their own lives and share kids. Idk, but maybe.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 04:23 PM
1

No, but I don't see the point in fighting fruitless battles. I do know what he said is technically true, and that he would never let our kids be in harms way.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:43 PM
1

Do you want to do the finances, or delegate that to him? Idk that it actually bothers me really. I know he has adamantly refused, but I am good at them so might as well keep it. We both have excellent credit scores, and I really would prefer to not give that up. My fiances grandma recently almost died in the hospital due to diabetic keto-acidosis and his grandpa was about to get the utilities shut off and the house foreclosed because he has no idea how to do any of the finances. It's unacceptabl…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:33 PM
1

I think I have to be really careful because I might be dismissed from these subs soon. I will do my dead level best to implement everything. I really don't know if I can let go of my credit score in the name of respect though but I will try to see it as a worthy sacrifice. And no its not that he can't handle the finances, he has been very adamant that he won't and if I try to make him he simply won't do it until I have no choice but to start again. But perhaps he will find it worth it to have th…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:21 PM
1

Well I think I am about to get dismissed from these subs for not going full on with the method and then waiting to see results. I will ask very nicely; he has told me for 15 years that if I drop the finances in his lap he simply won't do it until I have to take it back. He said he has no desire nor intention of taking on that stress. But I will see if implementing all these principles will make him want to accept the responsibility.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:17 PM
–

I said I would do all of that except for the stuff he wouldn't allow.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:02 PM
1

In what areas could you be more respectful and less controlling? I told him today I will stop asking any questions, initiating any deep conversations, or expressing any frustration toward him. If he wants to talk to me, spend time with me, or have sex with me he will, if he doesn't he won't. But at least he will be happy and not miserable any more. Really that's it. The biggest issue in our relationship is related to sex/intimacy. As far as everything else I know that is my responsibility. For e…
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 02:53 PM
1

I'm already married though, and did agree to try to reconcile. He was a lot of good things in the beginning, although he hid the porn addiction. But honestly (statistics support this as well), I don't really believe in many men that don't use porn, I just think some hide it a lot better than others. I will maintain the home, family, and finances and apply the other stuff and see if him noticing that I am suddenly the model of respect changes things for him. Hopefully it will.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 02:46 PM
1

Yeah he was especially when we were dating. Back then he definitely shared more of himself. He does have good qualities; he is a great dad and truly loves his kids, he is a hard worker, he is always willing to help anyone who needs it, etc.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 02:41 PM
1

What do I do to address him being passive? Edit: I find it very frustrating that my problems with my marriage seem to be pointed directly at me not being an ideal wife. Seems that the idea is had I been an ideal wife none of this would ever happened.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 01:49 PM
1

He doesn't want to make decisions about our relationship or family. He prefers I do that, especially when it comes to serious stuff. He prefers me to have all the uncomfortable conversations and be the disciplinarian with the kids. He will not handle finances. He will not plan, he has made it very clear all planning is my realm. What would happen if you didn’t say anything negative to him (like the skills in surrendered wife?)? He I'm sure would be thrilled. We could have a superficial relations…
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 01:22 PM
1

He does not want to be the leader and he has been very upfront about that. He would prefer me never say anything negative to him, but he has no desire to be the one in control, he actually prefers I do that since it takes stress off of him. He also prefers I initiate sex so he feels desired and wanted.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 12:50 PM
0

I'll look into it. I just listened to The Surrendered Wife and was sadly very disappointed. I'll do the method even though I think it will end poorly for me, but I know I'll have to still be the leader in the relationship.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 12:34 PM
1

He's not low libido -- he's just low for a physical woman, because of his past with porn. And you're probably not super high libido per say -- you're just high libido for him because you've been outrageously starved of physical/sexual affection for him. His libido has always been like that, and it remained like that without porn. He is usually 1-2 times a week, occasionally more. Mine is actually high, and has been high my whole adult life even before him. I would prefer at least daily. He has a…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 10:34 AM
0

No offense, but this book so far sounds like misogyny with a prettier bow. Never criticize, never give unsolicited advice, never make him feel like you have thoughts and feelings of your own. Let him do things like put the kids at risk, let him get the utilities cut off, let him ruin your credit, and never ever say a word about it so he feels powerful. A pleasant wife is a good wife. Just wow. I guess if that is what RPW is, I completely misunderstood.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 11:12 PM
1

I got the book and am listening to it. I'll try all this for a while, but I think we are going to run into a big issue because he doesn't want to be the leader in the relationship. But I guess nothing to lose by trying. No offense, but this book so far sounds like misogyny with a prettier bow. Never criticize, never give unsolicited advice, never make him feel like you have thoughts and feelings of your own. Let him do things like put the kids at risk, let him get the utilities cut off, let him …
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 10:27 PM
1

I'll just do what everyone is recommending. And if he doesn't lead or have any solutions, at least he will be happy with a good wife who doesn't stress him out.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:45 PM
1

I guess I had a different idea of what it was. I didn't know it was respect and trust him regardless, keeping my mouth shut most of the time, and letting him lead whether he wants to or not.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:35 PM
1

You said "I think you’re missing the point here. You didn’t say enough was enough. Your thought process was, “maybe if I sleep with someone else he’ll want me”, otherwise you wouldn’t be here asking for advice." Does that not call me a liar?
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 09:07 PM
1

Thats just it....bring my captain the problem won't work with him, because he doesn't want that. He says he has no solutions and rehashing my feelings only does more damage. He said he doesn't know how to help me trust again since he is already showing me he wants me. He does not want the leadership role, and he has been very upfront about that.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:05 PM
2

I'm defensive because your answer was to call me a liar and say the whole separation and other relationship was a manipulation tactic. It also feels like you are being dismissive when you say me being so upset about a porn addiction. Yes complete rejection, weaponizing porn against me, lying, and emotional abuse upsets me. He is in counseling but everything else is on hold.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:58 PM
1

No, I need to see that he has really changed, I detest rug sweeping. Yes he knows and hates it. He feels like I won't give him a chance. He says he finds me attractive but feels that I'll never believe him. He said he realizes now that wanting someone based solely on looks is shallow and unrealistic (all I hear when he says that is he knows I can't live up to what he likes so he has decided to be content). I was in individual therapy but won't be able to go again for about six months.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 03:50 PM
1

Yeah its been under two months. Its complicated... I switched to nightshift so I'm gone three nights a week. He has two to three nights a week dedicated to recovery/counseling. We don't go out because its too triggering for both of us (me because of what he has done previously and him because he feels he is setting himself up to fight). I came to ask for advice because I don't know what to do.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 03:32 PM
3

think you’re missing the point here. You didn’t say enough was enough. Your thought process was, “maybe if I sleep with someone else he’ll want me”, How are you telling me what I did? I signed the legal papers, talked to the divorce lawyer, started splitting property, accounts, etc. Don't tell me I am a liar. Instead you decided to play games with your marriage Read my post history. I'm sure everyone here that is so judgemental will get a kick out of it. I got deathly ill and was nearly hospital…
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 02:59 PM
2

Because I love him and always did. And I thought I put that in, I corrected it. I give up. I thought reaching out for help would be beneficial, but I'm getting tired of being told "you faithfully stood by his side for 17yrs and slept with someone while yall were separated, wow you are awful and don't respect him." If you really wanted your husband I don’t think you would’ve done that So if I really wanted him I wouldn't have put in the work for 15yrs of marriage? I wouldn't have begged him to st…
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 02:45 PM
3

I would say sleeping with another man definitely didn’t fix your problems, and I’m sure isn’t going to help your husbands porn addiction I'm aware but no one seems to realize it was not an attempt to manipulate him, and it was mutually agreed upon in the terms of our separation. Separated or not, you could’ve waited until divorce was final if that’s what you decided to do. If you couldn’t wait that long, you clearly have some kind of addiction as well. I have an addiction because I was starved o…
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 02:12 PM
2

Thank you.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 02:09 PM
1

He stopped using porn over a year ago. I owe it to my kids to at least try.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 01:59 PM
3

Idk... there has been so much said. I may forgive but those words will never go away.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 01:41 PM
3

Yeah, and he is going to a support group and counseling. He isn't still saying it, but I can't make myself forget.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 01:30 PM
1

I'm not scared to leave.... I want to be with him if he does continue changing. And I won't hurt my kids when he is willing to change and make it right if that makes sense.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 01:27 PM
1

Reading the measures you took for his porn recovery, it feels like you are treating him like a child. I do not know for long this has been going on, but I cannot imagine any man having an emotionally satisfying sex in a relationship like this. I don't do any of that anymore, but he actually preferred it when I did. He has always been upfront with preferring me to do the work so he doesn't have to. He said (before this time) he knew he never had to do anything because I was the "fixer" of everyth…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:49 AM
1

He has literally told me all of it. What actions do you mean?
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:02 AM
2

Because I don't want to be an undesirable warm body. I don't want him sleeping with me because he wants someone else. I don't want to be used.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:59 AM
-4

No it really isn't unfortunately.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:58 AM
2

He tries to be reassuring and tells me he loves me, only wants me, and none of the rest matters. It feels so impossible and I don't know how to believe it.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:57 AM
3

Perhaps we disagree about the direction of causality. You think that porn makes him think of you as just a warm body. My argument is that the decline in emotionally satisfying sex leads to him seeing you as just a warm body, which then leads him to seek porn as a substitute. His porn addiction was there long before me, he just hid it. Sex between us is actually extremely emotionally and physically satisfying now (it wasn't before). Its bizarre to me, but that is how he bonds, he just doesn't fee…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:51 AM
2

Thats just it, I can't see what he is thinking, and thats why the trust is so hard to rebuild.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:48 AM
1

He says that I have been very clear how I feel. He also says he doesn't understand why I can't be like him.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:47 AM
1

He has changed in many ways, I just don't know how to let go and believe it is long term.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:41 AM
0

I don't know that I will ever do that again sadly.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:40 AM
0

I will try. I do know he needs me not to talk about it.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:40 AM
2

Yes, there are attractive people out there that we all notice in passing, but to go as far as to say he has to fight to want only you? He says it isn't like I think it is. Its just really hard not to objectify attractive women since he has done that his whole life. I don't see how you could even enjoy being out with your wife when your only focus is not objectifying everyone around you. He tells me this is not as bad as it used to be and he is able to resist more easily now Honestly this hurts u…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:35 AM
1

I have tried it honestly....the advice I get is believe him that he has changed.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:29 AM
6

He has been in recovery for over a year, but his real life libido has always been lower, even in the beginning, and through his porn use. You managed to get him to change by committing infidelity and a threat of divorce. It truly makes me sad that that is how everyone seems to see that. It wasn't to make him change or manipulate him. It was saying I couldn't live that way anymore. After all, your real goal here isn’t to stop his porn use, but to have a happy relationship and satisfying sex life,…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:28 AM
1

I don’t think preferences can be changed like that. I’m sure it’s possible that maybe the heavy porn use was skewing his perception of what a female body should look like. Btw, has he quit the porn? If he tells you he doesn’t use it anymore, do you trust/believe him? His family also had this weird obsession with huge breasts, so he has believed that is the ideal womanly feature since pre-pubescence unfortunately. He has and I do believe that. However I know for the first few months of his recove…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:14 AM
-3

That wasn't very helpful either. It was basically this is something that will always be there, which is the biggest reason I don't know how to move on.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:07 AM
3

I did read the link you posted. Are you saying the solution is to respect him (not being sarcastic)? Your refusal at self reflection and inability to read outside resources indicates you truly don't and seem to think this is his responsibility rather than asking yourself what you can do, which is the only thing you can control. Why do you feel I'm not self reflecting? I did read your link, but unfortunately can't read a book atm.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:57 AM
2

I don’t understand what he needs to change; the fact that he wants a woman who looks totally different than you? How does one change that? He says none of that matters now, I just don't know how to believe it because I don't think you can change what you want. What makes you hold onto it, and what has he said regarding why he doesn’t want to separate? He said he loves me and never want to hurt me or risk losing me again. And no we really don't want it to end. I think we do love each other. The r…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:53 AM
6

I never once said I did no wrong. I'm legitimately asking for advice. You would be surprised how much your actions and what you do in the relationship affects the other person. Then I am asking what I should do. If you don't want to read them and instead want validation about how much your husband sucks and you did no wrong, this isn't the place for you. If that's what I wanted I wouldn't have even tried to reconcile. I'm asking how to trust him again.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:49 AM
5

that being said, I don’t think any man should stick around after their woman has cheated. And, vice versa. Being cheated on is a gut-wrenching experience, even if it seems like it motivated him in some way. He’s still a human being who feels emotional pain. It really doesn't bother him. He doesn't see it as cheating since we were separated, and he never feels (and never has felt) jealousy in our entire relationship. I know you probably think I just don't see it, but he really isn't the typical m…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:33 AM
9

You could have not separated/had sex with someone else and put in the work necessary to repair things. Instead, you chose the option of separating, having sex with someone else, then trying to repair your marriage I had zero intention of ever working on my marriage. I loved him, but couldn't live like that anymore, and had given him hundreds of chances. There are a lot more details (read my post history if you choose), but I never in a million years thought he would change. He never had, it was …
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:28 AM
6

I mean you can say it and justify it whichever way you like, but breaking up with your husband, going to have sex with someone else, then getting back with him is not going to be conducive to a healthy relationship, genuine intimacy, or bring about feelings of respect So you are saying I should have just stayed and let him continue doing what he was doing? How many chances should he have gotten? I know there's a lot of resentment and pain, but you can only control yourself and your actions. Bein…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:16 AM
1

I'm legitimately asking....so you just sugar coat everything and don't let him know you are upset?
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 07:07 AM
4

I don't feel respected. I would disagree about my respect for him though; I was 100% faithful for 17yrs. He said for years it didn't matter how much he rejected me or how he treated me because I would never leave and never cheat. I told him I wanted a separation multiple times last year, and each time he begged for another chance. He would then end up admitting that he knew he was lying when he said he would change. I filed for separation and then sought a new relationship; this was discussed an…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:07 AM
1

I'm sorry you have experienced that. I genuinely don't mean to invalid anyone's experience, I just hate the rhetoric of "all women, you are just in denial with how you feel."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 12:23 PM
1

Ok cool. Also FWB is not a romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:41 AM
1

Sure, it does. But for most people one night stands do involve alcohol (or other substances), and are only for sex. These are not the men that are in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:38 AM
1

Most never have a one night stand that turned into more. But again, a one night stand also isnt about personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:20 AM
1

That assholes can have one night stands so women must really want that? What you proved is that women (and men) have poor judgement when alcohol is involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:14 AM
1

You do realize most one night stands aren't due to personality right? And that most men can hide it for short periods if it benefits them?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 12:36 AM
1

If it is something you even want to know, I think this is a question that is for a serious relationship, not the early stages.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 12:25 PM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 11:13 AM
1

Ok, then I'll ask like this. If money is such an important factor, why do so many couple start from the bottom together?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 01:21 AM
1

Most of the couples I have known through my adult life got married in their early to mid 20s when both were just starting out. How could that have possibly occurred if the most important thing women want is money?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:41 AM
1

But to think that men typically go for emotional value and women typically go for physical value is just not remotely realistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 11:58 PM
1

Thank God I don't raise my sons like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 10:22 PM
1

Longest period with no touch, no affection, and no sex as am adult? Four years. Before that it was extremely sporadic for 2-3 years. Except I was married. We have since done a ton of repair to our relationship, but I promise it was extremely lonely and heartbreaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 10:20 PM
1

That is just delusional.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:49 PM
1

A high value man who has compassion, morals, and loves his wife wouldn't leave or cheat because of her losing her breast. Not a desperate man. And just to clear something up 1)some guys like smaller breast and 2) how are you even remotely equating small breasts with a mastectomy?!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 07:49 PM
1

If this was the comment I think it was (the one that was deleted) his "modest" standards included hot, thin, and plastic surgery. If it wasn't that comment then I apologize.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 07:46 PM
1

You cant make this a blanket statement without evaluating why divorce occurs. It isn't because the relationship was so great she wanted out. https://divorce.com/blog/causes-of-divorce/
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 03:36 PM
1

So if men go through bad experiences it is justification for bitterness. If women go through bad experiences it's just "sucks to be you, not my problem"?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:42 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c7a6l/maybe_the_issue_is_the_extreme_bitterness_toward/jotshqc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:35 PM
1

Oh I see, I apologize!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:32 PM
1

I truly have no idea why the idea that men want women more than women want men. When both are looking for real relationships, I honestly believe it is pretty equal, but if you are talking about sex then yes perhaps so.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:09 PM
1

I would say maybe 10-20% max haven't had some kind of negative dating experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:24 AM
1

Have you ever considered the benefits there would be if they didn't?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:16 AM
1

Do you have any idea how many women don't get that? Or go through really bad relationships before they do find a good guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:14 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14a1r1n/the_whole_women_dont_owe_you_sex_narrative_is/jo8purm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:15 AM
1

The comment about being attractive is easy for a woman, she just needs to be skinny with fake boobs was deleted.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:10 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c374h/women_dont_cheat_because_theyre_emotionally/jooxqo6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:08 AM
1

I would literally never be a doormat for a man who treates me like a slave and that he was doing me a favor by being with me. Wow I have no idea why dating is so hard for some men🤔🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:06 AM
1

Glad I'm in a real one and not dealing with this bs
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:05 AM
1

But why are you attracted to unhealthily underweight?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:04 AM
1

Not a representation of all women by any means.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:03 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c7a6l/maybe_the_issue_is_the_extreme_bitterness_toward/jopsd63?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:43 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c7a6l/maybe_the_issue_is_the_extreme_bitterness_toward/jopfzbs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:43 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c7a6l/maybe_the_issue_is_the_extreme_bitterness_toward/jood1j9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:38 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c7a6l/maybe_the_issue_is_the_extreme_bitterness_toward/jokm0x0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:36 AM
1

Wtf?!?! So she suffered HORRIFIC injuries that were out of her control, so you a lot saying that thete is no way he loves her, he is just desperate and settling?!?!! THAT mentality is the reason why part of the initial patient teaching when a woman gets breast cancer is that there is a high likelihood of her husband leaving her.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:33 AM
1

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:08 PM
1

Oh ok thanks... I'll try later
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:04 PM
1

Anxiety, laziness, negativity, pessimism etc can be worked on. Sociopathy no, but they also do NOT need to date. Narcissism can be worked on with extensive therapy IF the person really wants to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:04 PM
–

Those don't say 95% of women in committed relationships cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:42 PM
1

You said people born sucky are less likely to change, and I asked why. No you specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:39 PM
1

Intelligent discussion should be able to cite evidence. This should have been learned in college and even high school.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:25 PM
1

Explain how it is a lie. Literally said we were looking for MORE ways to connect emotionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:23 PM
0

It was simply a reply to women commenting on what they know nothing amount. I used my husband as an example, but I know a multitude of average guys who do not agree with these mentalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:22 PM
–

It being more memorable when a woman cheats vs a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:20 PM
1

Think what? I said what do you consider "born sucky" like how does that occur?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:13 PM
1

If you can't back up what you say it is only an opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:28 PM
0

So you are quoting me seeking advice on how to make my marriage even better? Definitely doesn't fit your narrative of withholding sex and just out for money does it? Not to mention I said DB IN THE PAST, not now.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:28 PM
–

Please cite sources, because statistics absolutely do not support this.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:27 PM
1

That is entirely different than they don't exist or you have never found one.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:26 PM
2

We are talking about real relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:25 PM
1

Please link survey. So she has to be thin, but if she doesn't stay thin she is still attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:25 PM
0

They do not have MUTUALLY satisfying and successful long term relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:24 PM
-1

Awe so cute...a man isn't capable of disagreeing with this mentality 🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:23 PM
1

Its literally in this post, but I legitimately don't know how to link it, do you mind telling me how?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:22 PM
1

Why is the average woman a poor dating prospect exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:07 AM
1

Men before my husband tried to break me. I refused to allow them to control me...yes it was hard but worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:04 AM
0

Nope 20s-30s. Please try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:56 AM
1

No longer a DB, but yes it was for a very long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:56 AM
-1

If a man or woman experience issues related to personality traits or character flaws yes they absolutely should work on it. If someone is depressed they should seek treatment (and yes applies to me so not judging). If someone is overweight they should work to get healthier (doesn't apply to cases where it legitimately isn't in their control).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:53 AM
1

Attractive is not wrong...expecting perfection or close to it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:45 AM
1

Beauty is subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:42 AM
1

Where exactly are you looking for these women that you have not found even an averagely attractive woman without severe mental illness or money obsession?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:41 AM
1

So women indiscriminately sleep with every guy they find attractive?? How is sex only a transactional relationship? Have you ever been in a true long term relationship where there is sex and love? I don't know any woman who settled for a man she wasn't attracted to (not saying that it doesn't ever happen, just that it is definitely not the norm). Plenty of women in marriages still find their husbands attractive and desirable. Women definitely do like men who treat them well. Not sure where this …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:39 AM
1

You do realize that assuming average height that 95lbs is actually significantly underweight and indicative of malnutrition correct? For average height (5'4 statistically) and normal, healthy weight is 110-145.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:30 AM
1

You gave a statistic regarding young men having less sex than women, and I gave you two articles regarding reasons why men are having less sex. I didn't think it had to be explained. So if men are eliminating themselves due to porn being easier that's irrelevant because women still have sex? How is that remotely logical?!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:24 AM
1

How exactly are you born sucky?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:20 AM
3

Some men actually want relationships, not just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:18 AM
1

It greatly depends on what you view as thin. But my point was, if that were a requirement, what happens if she isn't thin after having kids or her body changes? Can you back up this data?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:17 AM
1

They are getting a doormat. Not a happy successful relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:20 AM
1

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-of-our-unions/202302/why-are-so-many-young-men-single-and-sexless%3famp https://observer.case.edu/giri-modern-hyper-accessibility-to-internet-pornography-is-destroying-young-men/
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:18 AM
2

Yes.... emotional awareness, communication, honest, and real connection!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:57 AM
9

Sex....not successful happy long term relationships. HUGE difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:48 AM
1

Imo online dating has a much high "per capita" of negative examples of both genders. I'm sorry you have had bad experiences though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:43 AM
–

Ah sorry I thought you were the original commenter I responded to... sorry about that!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:40 AM
0

Can you perhaps point to any statistics to support this?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:39 AM
1

Please show me just one dating profile of a homeless obese woman with herpes (or any STI) that has guys falling all over themselves. Yes as a woman I was "picky" about the character of the man I chose, who would eventually be the father of my kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:38 AM
1

Haha my husband was already balding in his early 20s. He isn't short ( but that had zero relevance), had never had a relationship before me, and was making $12/hr when we got married. I do find him attractive and desirable, and I love the life we worked for and built together!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:36 AM
1

Awesome....you must not be very active on this sub lol... I was only using "Chad" as a quote from here.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:32 AM
1

I think that there can be negative attributes in anyone, regardless of gender. I have known really shitty people of both genders, but that doesn't mean they are a broad representation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:31 AM
1

I can't even tell you how much pain I've experienced, and no I'm not looking for sympathy. I just refuse to let it win. Is that easy? Not even a little bit. Have I made a lot of progress? Sure. Have I "arrived"? Not even a little bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:29 AM
1

As someone who has been in extremely damaging relationships I promise I don't view bad experiences as something someone had coming to them unless extenuating circumstances! And even then, it just depends.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:27 AM
1

Sure you can hate women and still find ONS. How can you hate women and have a successful long term relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:24 AM
1

I think that is awesome (truly, no sarcasm)! But you sre rare in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:23 AM
–

Men with integrity stand by their commitments.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:20 AM
1

But you can choose to better yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:19 AM
1

I am opposed to the belligerent feminist ideals, and find cheating abhorrent regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:19 AM
0

Statistics please?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:17 AM
1

Do you consider that you are seeking the wrong type of woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:17 AM
1

Plesse cite statistics.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:16 AM
0

I have actually asked my husband's perspective on this and he (as a guy that never dated before me and had other guys chosen over him) is even like wtf is wrong with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:15 AM
1

Height and looks (stereotypes described here. Attractiveness is based on individual tastes and preferences) have no impact on the success of long term relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:13 AM
0

Yep....caring, honest, moral, faithful....HUGE list let me tell ya.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:11 AM
2

Absolutely! I am not successful because it landed in my lap. I went through a lot of really bad, really hard things to be where I'm at.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:10 AM
1

Well I prefer to have sex daily with my husband, and fantasize about him all the time, yet he isn't a "tall rich asshole.".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:08 AM
1

I've never been with a criminal violent man... I have only ever wanted decent guys with integrity, morals, and caring.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:07 AM
0

No one has ever bailed me out of anything, I have busted my ass for everything I have.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:05 AM
0

She can't make money, must be thin, must be a specific race, has a height requirement etc. So you want kids but she better not let growing humans affect her body?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:34 AM
1

There are some I'm sure, but is it a general consensus or outliers?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:31 AM
1

Very mature.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:28 AM
1

If you think women "aren't anything" stay single. I know men that do view a relationship as a partnership, but I also can't tell you how many times we get shocked responses when people find out my husband does the grocery shopping and cooking.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:27 AM
1

What numbers? Do you have reputable sources and statistics?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:22 AM
1

You can choose to be better than trauma...its unbelievably hard, but it can be done.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:14 AM
2

So unless every guy thinks she is the best of the best, she is a sign of failure? Wtf
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:12 AM
1

Huge difference between attractive and perfection.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:11 AM
1

Yeah I'm not getting plastic surgery for anyone, period.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:08 AM
1

Its honestly sad, because the majority of women really aren't like this😓
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:49 AM
1

Please reread.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:46 AM
2

Not even the majority of women are like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:45 AM
7

I had years of horrible experiences...if I had chosen to just hate men I wouldn't be married to a great man now.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:44 AM
4

Bitterness only hurts you though
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:28 AM
1

But you do acknowledge that it is no worse, its only more memorable? Doesn't this also indicate it happen somewhat less if it is kind of "expected" of men? (If I understood your meaning correctly).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:27 AM
3

What is more attractive? People are who they are... sure you can be healthier, but you can't (or shouldn't) change your appearance for someone else. My husband is happy with the fact that I often don't wear make-up unless I am fixing up for him or a major event....I was like that when we were dating too. Character is HUGE to me, but the external has always been kind of this is what I am either you like it or you don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:15 AM
3

Some of us do (or did). But I have seen men here complain if an average woman approaches him because he doesn't want to "settle."
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:11 AM
4

I had horrible experiences with men prior to my husband, so no I did have men who would happily accept me without question. My husband is by no means what so many men up here describe as every woman's "ideal" but I love him immensely and am fiercely loyal to him. When we got married we were both starting our careers, so we literally worked our way up together. Not negating that there are shitty people of both genders, but men are capable of a lot. So are women. Character flaws know no gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:08 AM
6

Ok you literally just lumped all women, at least Western women, in the same "worthless" category. There are plenty of women who have integrity, are loyal, have morals, and are successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:03 AM
1

You don't have to lower your standards, but if they are unrealistic, you probably should. Again, not a requirement though. I think it is healthy for men and women to have reasonable, healthy standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 10:02 AM
4

Ok, scroll through comments/post because those are directly from here. I definitely didn't pull them out of thin air.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:59 AM
1

I think you missed what they were saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:58 AM
1

I very much agree with you!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:58 AM
10

I'm honestly sorry for you experience, and I don't wish that on anyone. I had horrible experiences with men prior to my husband, so I do understand trauma from the opposite sex/relationships. But I saw a post here the other day where the general consensus was that a woman with relationship/male related trauma is no longer worth the effort, damaged goods, etc etc. I personally truly feel for people who have experienced trauma, and can't understand how someone can feel the way they do because of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:56 AM
4

You should scroll through and just look at some of the topics/comments. They are extremely spiteful toward women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:49 AM
-2

I don't know what type of women you are hanging out with truthfully that have these insane expectations. Just for curiosity sake, why do men not hold themselves to the same sexual standards they want of women?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:48 AM
6

If a woman you are talking to only wants a tall rich asshole, you need to pick someone else. Even using myself as an example. We got married and I want to say he was making $12/hr at that time. He does happen to be tall, but I had dated guys that were my height or only a couple inches taller prior. Having a man who has integrity, good communication skills, and genuinely cares has always been a top "requirements" if you will. Our marriage is in a great place now, but it hasn't always been; even t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:46 AM
-3

I think you missed it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:40 AM
4

That is an interesting perspective. I really wonder if they truly think women have ridiculous standards, or if that is just lashing out. I have never met a woman with "standards" like they are describing...not saying they don't exists, just saying they can't be as common as they are projecting.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:39 AM
20

Cheaters cheat because they are cheaters. It is a character flaw. A faithful person won't cheat and a cheater won't be faithful. There are very very rare exceptions, but they are just that, exceptions. Despite serious issues within the marriage, there are plenty of women who never even entertain the thought of cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 12:07 AM
1

Please, please try reading for comprehension. I said social media, Hollywood, and porn are fantasy. If you believe all these things are accurate depiction of real life, then no amount of logic will help you. Sure teens may joke other teens for being virgins, but never once have a known someone to be in a relationship, really have feelings for someone, find out their a virgin, and be like "omg get away from, you're a virgin how disgusting, I could never be with you!"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 12:25 AM
1

My dating guidelines (prior to choosing a marriage partner obviously): honesty, communication, good morals, good work ethic, compassionate, and loving. He was highly attracted (these are his words not mine) to my appearance, my intelligence, my integrity, compassion, and drive for excellence. Not quite the exhausting rhetoric on here of "he has to be a muscular and wealthy with the face of a supermodel and she simply needs a vagina."🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 02:15 PM
1

You seem to believe several different false concepts: 1) wealth does not equate with quality values, it simply correlates with a career field. Choosing a higher earning field doesn't make you a good person. 2) A woman absolutely does need a way to earn income. 3) Accomplishments are important, but they don't negate intrinsic values/morality. Again, I know plenty of highly successful assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 02:11 PM
–

There is usually a much deeper psychological basis in those situations than just impulse.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 02:02 PM
1

Women are far more competitive and passive aggressive than you may realize.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 02:00 PM
1

So if a man or woman aren't wealthy their intrinsic value is less?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 01:59 PM
1

Hold on, now you are saying women should view appearance and bank account as the measure of someone's worth?!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 01:06 PM
0

Ok so social media, Hollywood, and porn are all a realistic picture of real life🤣 Not sure why you insist saying I'm not American.... I am. Born, raised, lived here my entire life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 10:49 AM
1

They do. Actually, let me clarify. By societal standards they do. I personally don't believe someone's worth is based on appearance, intelligence (within reason, willfully ignorant is repulsive imo), or bank account.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 03:13 AM
3

I mean I definitely wouldn't call myself ugly and undesirable, but by default for every woman these men are interested in, they are also the other half of the relationship. So the same number of men and women (in heterosexual relationships) are dating. And yes I approached men as well when I was single. So I saw another post on here describing "above average" as 9s or 10s. When is the last time you saw hoards of perfect women coming out of the woodwork just waiting for guys to pounce on them? 9s…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 02:17 AM
3

Late 30s, and happily married. Yes I had drunken hookups and some super dysfunctional relationships when I was younger and single, but I never experienced this "army of men beating down my door because I have a vagina" phenomenon that seems to be so prevalent on this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 01:53 AM
3

I'm an objectively averagely attractive woman, very intelligent, successful, outgoing, and friendly. I have NEVER in my life had guys lining up wanting to date me. With that being said, self improvement has always been something very important to me, and I really strive to change negative traits/qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 01:44 AM
1

To be clear "who I am" does not negate the need for change and growth. I don't know you, or if that applies to you, its just a broadly applicable statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 01:36 AM
1

Hmmm I have no idea why you are bitter toward women and have difficulty in relationships....oh, wait, I bet it's your height isn't it?🤦‍♀️ Successful, intelligent women really bother you huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 01:28 AM
2

Yeah that makes sense....but if you both know who the other is there shouldn't be much of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 01:22 AM
5

Yeah that is so weird to me!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 01:02 AM
2

Isn't it better for both sexes to be who they really are so that when the opposite sex is attracted to them it is authentic?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:57 AM
1

Nope definitely American. The statement "Basing your reality on fantasy (media, movies, porn, etc) is a game you will always lose at" was in direct response to using said fantasy for basing opinions. Do you agree those things are fantasies?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:22 AM
1

I don't see it as the ultimate reward, just something that shouldn't be handed out freely to anyone who wants it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:09 AM
–

So women shouldn't be attracted to Chads because that is an unfair playing field, and they shouldn't be attracted to the average guy because if he isn't a Chad he must be a cuck?? Please make it make sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 08:35 PM
2

He was average in appearance, and she worked (but I don't remember in what field). I have zero clue why she stayed, ESPECIALLY after what he said, the fact that I wasn't the first, and he only cheated with women close to 20yrs younger than they were!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 08:11 PM
0

There are though (and I am speaking from my husband's point of view). Especially in a LTR, there are many men who value emotional connection, and there is a difference between having sex and making love. And that doesn't even begin to touch on how many "flavors" of sex can be had by one couple. Ironically my husband actually needs more emotional connection for sex than I do. As previously stated, I have done things with my husband sexually that I have NEVER done with anyone else. And he is the o…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:47 PM
3

A couple of things here; women do absolutely compete with each other, and some are beyong vindictive. There are a whole subset of women who go to great lengths to try to get married men to cheat on their wives, just to say they could. Some women (usually the strong willed, type A personalities who refuse to compromise on their values) are very lonely in the friendship realm. True two sided friendship is not as easy to find as one may think.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:39 PM
2

Yeah I hope he was/is incapable of having children!! Turns out technically yes, by the common law rule. I truly feel for her because I don't know what kind of trauma she must have went through to feel she deserved someone like him. As soon as I found out about her, I went and talked to her in person.... I felt AWFUL, but I didn't know. Sadly she said this wasn't the first affair, and they were always on the 18-20 age range. He made the daughter comment in front of her and she still forgave him.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:33 PM
0

There is a lot I have only done with my husband; ONS vs true intimacy is a world of difference. There are people (both men and women) that can look past someone's past and see the person they really are.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:28 PM
3

No thank God he didn't because that would have been truly awful! I was 19, he said he was 28....he was 38. Actually slightly older than my own parents at the time. Trust me, that fucks you up in the head in ways you can't even describe.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:21 PM
1

No one talks about this: 1) Men feel shame because they are conditioned to believe they should want sex more than women. 2) Women feel shame because they have been conditioned to believe if a man ever turns down sex then they must be undesirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:17 PM
1

I'm a woman with a high libido and am completely good with have sex at least once a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:14 PM
3

Specifically to your post, one relationship where I was manipulated only for the purpose of getting my virginity, followed by a relationship where he lied about his age (and that I was the side chick). After I found out about everything, he revealed that the appeal of being with me was he could pretend like he was having sex with his daughter every time we were together. There is more, but these were the biggest mind-fucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:10 PM
6

Not viewing sex as meaningless is not dense. But I need no luck dating as I'm happily married, but thanks anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 06:03 PM
2

"According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the average age Americans lose their virginity (defined here as vaginal sexual intercourse) is 17.1 for both men and women. The CDC also reports that virgins make up 12.3 percent of females and 14.3 percent of males ages 20 to 24. That number drops below 5 percent for both male and female virgins ages 25 to 29 and goes as low as 0.3 percent for virgins ages 40 to 44."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 06:02 PM
5

And viewing as nothing more than a meaningless act is not a healthy perception.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:49 PM
2

So statistically 55% of males and females have lost their virginity by 18. This is not even remotely close to everyone losing their virginity before they turn 18. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2017/201706_NSFG.htm
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:46 PM
6

Sure, but that doesn't make losing your virginity when you hit puberty wise or healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:44 PM
12

Pretty sad if you are expected to lose your virginity before adulthood. And this is a subset specific mindset, there are a statistically significant amount of people who don't think this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:37 PM
–

Its called treating your partner as a partner. We both do this before making plans, it's nothing more than being considerate. It sounds like you are more for a husband telling him wife what he WILL be doing and making it her job to figure out how to plan everything around him.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:22 PM
-1

Yeah I'm not following the logic on that one either. Kids are immature simply because they are not supposed to be mature or wise through life experiences. If the argument is that adults in relationships are on the same level then they shouldn't be dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:09 PM
-1

Cool. I wouldn't consider it an appropriate place for kids but to each their own 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:06 PM
2

Awesome, because my husband regularly says this, as do his friends. I tell him all the time this isn't the case and he should realize his value, but I'll entertain your argument. 1) I have no other kids except with him. 2) No spending problems, and could care less about clothes, shoes, or name brands. 3) No STDs. 4) No addictions 5) No annoying voice 6) Am objectively in the top as far as intelligence (testing, performance, etc prove this, as does the fact that my children also are in the top pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:03 PM
1

This is getting old tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 04:08 PM
0

No I was simply going with the flow of discussion. I also was around then, so I'm familiar. I posted multiple studies about the initial comment topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 03:02 PM
2

Awesome....that means a lot of my trauma never happened and I'm good now 🤣🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:58 PM
-1

Sure it was there, but not so widespread that the majority of kids had access.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:55 PM
-1

Gotcha. Here it wasnt as common unless you were a higher income family.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:54 PM
0

I don't know your family's financial status, but in 2003 only 54% of American families had home internet access. https://quickshare.samsungcloud.com/i0opIRVWzP5T
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:46 PM
-1

My refusal to have a ONS with a virgin had nothing to do with his level of experience. I lost my virginity in a traumatic way that led to unbelievable regret, and I did not want to be responsible for someone else feeling that same level of regret. Sexual competence is not developed by learning what turns other people on, its by learning the partner you are with. Some of the "most experienced" men I was with were the absolute worst in bed. Why exactly do men feel that a ONS is better for losing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:39 PM
-4

Myspace was LAUNCHED in August of 2003, and the targeted demographic was 18-25yo. The first smartphone with 3g connection was launched in 2001, but this required the cost of the phone and a pricey data plan. This was also when most cell phone companies charged by minutes, and "free" call and text wasn't until after 9pm. My point was that 20 years ago most kids were not a huge internet/social media presence. There were some I'm sure, but young adults were the primary demographic.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:34 PM
-1

Did you read the three I posted?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:17 PM
–

I can honestly say my husband and I both only want a monogamous relationship, and with that being said even now we have sex anywhere from 2-5 times a week on average. Granted our kids are older (not grown) so that does make it easier. A false perception of monogamy is "the same thing thousands of times over" but it really doesn't have to be. Even after this many years we still frequently try new things that we enjoy immensely and add to the "rotation."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:16 PM
1

🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:08 PM
-2

Basing your reality on fantasy (media, movies, porn, etc) is a game you will always lose at. I commented above with some interesting articles if you want to take the time to read them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:07 PM
–

Do you have reputable sources for these statistics?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:05 PM
–

Female sexuality is far more complex than it is presented as. For both men and women, emotional factors absolutely play a role (unless we are talking exclusively about ONS). For example, my husband has openly admitted that at various times in our relationship he was still highly attracted to me and craved intimacy, but couldn't do it because of problems in the relationship and lack of emotional connection. Same with me. I have a high "count" but it wasn't because it was all these uber hot guys. …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:05 PM
-1

I'm referring to people close enough to discuss their marriage/relationship struggles. And just out of sheer curiosity, why do you feel an experience gap leads to unhappiness? The quality of sex literally has nothing to do with how many people you have been with, it has everything to do with 1) your overall relationship and 2) your willingness to learn and please your partner. Here is some interesting reading: https://ifstudies.org/blog/male-sexlessness-is-rising-but-not-for-the-reasons-incels-c…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:46 PM
1

I would agree, accept we are not the exception, there are many couples with varying degrees of this dynamic who are happily married.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:29 PM
2

I don't know if it is a sense of protection, or more of a codependency at play. Like she may seek "bad guys" because she thinks she can fix them (a very juvenile thought process, but people never cease to shock me).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:25 PM
-10

20 years ago kids weren't really online. We had AOL and online meant you had to tie up the landline. 22 years ago I remember us getting our first family computer. Regardless though, kids joking someone and adults in a relationship are two very different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:22 PM
5

So how do guys who say they "married up" exist?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:05 PM
–

This "logic" absolutely blows my mind. Some men actually do want monogamous relationships (shocking I know🤦‍♀️). HVM in their mind means "muscles and money." It totally eliminates that women are individuals, with a wide spectrum of what they find attractive. While it would not be my taste, I personally know women who find short/very thin guys extremely attractive. Now I have absolutely NOTHING against guys like this, nor do I think they cannot be attractive, I just personally wouldn't care to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:58 PM
–

I think the biggest thing they fail to acknowledge is that not all women want "Chads." I actually find most guys of that description rather off-putting, but what I find attractive in a man a TRP would say is impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:34 PM
–

Holy shit! "Grown women are singling 12 year old out as hot"?! I have sons this age and just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Grown women looking at a CHILD as "hot" are called preditors.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:09 PM
-3

So my count was high, the only "stable" relationship I had was one that fucked me in the head when I found out about the lies, but no I didn't have STDs. Husband wasn't a virgin, but had a low count and no romantic relationships (didn't want them). I was open about my count, but never played it off as "just having fun" it was poor coping for a multitude of fucked up situations. I didn't view his lack of experience as a negative, and he didn't view my count as a negative. His view was the past is…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:00 PM
0

I'm not sure what your definition of "ran through" is, but I know of several couples where she wasn't a virgin but he was, and vice versa and they are quite happy together.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:43 AM
–

I'm curious what makes women's lives easier? Women are on the same spectrum as men; some have had easy lives, some have been healthy, some have been well loved, some have dealt with debilitating illnesses, some have been abused, some have had to fight for everything they have, etc etc. Crime can happen to anyone, absolutely without a doubt. But men typically don't have to worry about being raped while going for a jog or running errands. Or knowing that if they have small children with them they …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:42 AM
1

I agree, but I have been caught off guard finding out someone I am commenting back to is in an arranged marriage. Its easy to forget that still happens, and that this is a worldwide platform, because our "normal" is so incredibly different.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:32 AM
27

What is this sudden obsession with virginity being a bad thing?!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:25 AM
0

I think they were referring to arranged marriages, which still happen is certain religions and cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:24 AM
–

Sorry I think I didn't put this under the right comment. I was saying this in response to comments about women finding men attractive but still not sexually attractive, or vice versa, like its an either/or but not both.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:20 AM
–

Weird....I love my husband, enjoy being around him and talking to him, find him attractive, and still fantasize and long for him sexually. But supposedly that isn't possible?🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:46 AM
–

So then what exactly do you disagree with me on?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 11:02 PM
1

I'm not sure I follow the line of thought here (not being sarcastic at all btw). I don't want my spouse to put me on a pedestal, but I do appreciate the fact that he values me in a way that is different than how he views other women. He treats all people with respect of course, but there is a higher value with me if that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 10:14 PM
–

So you feel that lying to your partner is the equivalent of trusting your partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 10:11 PM
–

I was looking at your comment giving your perspective on mine. But again how is sharing nudes someone gave you privately because they trusted you the same as having a group to find out if a guy is playing multiple women? Disclaimer: I am happily married, so not even in the dating world, but I have seen first hand how men will play more than one woman and swear up and down he is monogamous (I'm not saying that there aren't women who do as well, but that just isn't relevant to the specific topic l…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 07:46 PM
–

And not all women are men hating POS that are only looking to rip off a hot wealthy guy. See, goes both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 07:40 PM
–

If your premise is that men only cheat on who "deserve" it, you are absolutely wrong. Your actions are controlled by YOU and show YOUR character. No one is your puppet master.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 07:26 PM
–

1) Nudes shared in a monogamous relationship with consent based on them being private should never be shared. This is a huge breach of trust and in some cases can be illegal. 2) Being mad that there is a widespread way to get caught playing more than one woman is childish at best. If you don't lie then you have absolutely nothing to be worried or upset about.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 06:27 PM
6

I have always wanted a man with integrity and morals, and there are plenty of women like myself
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 06:11 PM
1

This has never been my type.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 05:33 PM
4

100% of his check goes to the joint account and 100% of my check goes to the joint account. We work as a team to balance home and kids....yall really are making things way more complicated than they have to be. If, as a man, you live in a home and choose to have children then you are also choosing to take care of the home and children. This whole attitude is the reason I get shocked expressions and "you're so lucky!" comments when people find out my husband does the cooking.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 05:17 PM
–

I literally already have.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 05:15 PM
–

Attractiveness being subjective literally means that each individual can find completely different people attractive. I find my husband attractive even though he doesn't fit your description. He finds me attractive even though I don't fit your description. I have had female friends that find men super attractive that I'm just like how?? My husband has had friends find women highly attractive and he sees them as average at best. If beauty/attractiveness were objective then everyone would find the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 04:46 PM
–

How pray tell did you come to this conclusion? By this premise no man could find his wife beautiful unless all men agree that she is beautiful, nor could any women find her husband handsome if all women didn't find him handsome. You list "young, fit, slim, slightly curvy" as the mark of attractiveness for women. If they don't fit in this box are you saying they are unattractive? How does that explain how some men are not attracted to these women, or how some men can find say a 40yr old woman wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 03:04 PM
1

Yall seriously need to find better people to associate with! There is nothing wrong with men being in female dominated fields or vice versa. My husband and I can both absolutely take care of ourselves, but our lives are significantly better taking care of each other. Ironically we blow a hole in the "gender stereotype" rhetoric; he earns more (both in well respected fields, his just has earning potential), but I am bold, assertive, outgoing, and the practical "fixer" who will relentlessly proble…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 01:20 PM
–

What exactly do you consider "dating down"? Attractiveness is absolutely subjective, so your perception of someone's else's SO is not necessarily theirs.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 11:58 AM
4

I cannot understand why the premise of women seeking the top 5% of men is so popular on here. Do you actually know women like this? As a woman I can honestly say that I don't, and I myself never had this standard. It also stands to reason that based on your figures alone 70% of women can't all be with the top 5-10% of men. Here is some interesting reading: https://ifstudies.org/blog/theres-no-huge-gender-gap-in-being-single-among-young-adults
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 11:14 AM
1

No I wouldn't. It takes a deliberate choice to betray someone you claim to love by cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 05:54 PM
2

When my husband and and I met he was a nervous wreck, and it took a lot of effort for him to take the chance to ask me out.... I found it very sweet and endearing! I can't stand arrogance, and a lot of people mistake arrogance for confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 05:51 PM
–

That's exactly what I was getting at by saying treating EVERYONE with kindness and respect. The additional teaching about women has a lot to do with the objectification and manipulation of women being so accepted by society it is considered "expected" or "normal".
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 05:45 PM
–

Well if I had daughters then yes they would absolutely be taught that!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 05:43 PM
–

As a woman I would willingly give my life for my children's survival!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 05:10 PM
–

Our sons are taught by BOTH my husband and I that you treat everyone with kindness and respect, but also that you don't use women, lie to them, or objectify them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 05:07 PM
3

Always date your spouse and never stop choosing them. Marriage is hard but unbelievably rewarding; don't marry someone who doesn't share your values and your chances of success definitely go up. I know plenty of monogamous couples who are happy long term....and no, if you love your wife, treat her with respect, and honor her and your marriage she is not on the verge of leaving at any time.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 08:02 PM
1

My husband doubles mine now, but when we got married he was making I think $12/hr. We have built our way up, and his career just happens to have higher earning ceiling. I have never been with him for his money, nor has he ever resented being the primary breadwinner if I either couldn't work or had to scale back.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 04:05 PM
0

Do you realize how many couples are together while they work their way up?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 09:21 AM
0

What are you defining as wealthy? This commenter is stating decent income, which you are translating to wealthy, so I'm genuinely curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 09:19 AM
2

Men and women are biologically and psychologically different. No that is not an excuse for unfaithfulness or unethical behavior. No one regardless of gender should expect from someone else what they aren't willing to give. I personally have never had a list of physical features that were a requirement, however I have always had a list of moral and personality requirements.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 01:38 PM
2

Never in a million years!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 12:21 PM
1

Beauty is subjective, and what someone else finds attractive may not be attractive to you. Its also important to note that no amount of attraction will make up for a bad personality or poor morals.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 10:51 AM
1

I don't think many men with HL partners talk about it because of the pressure they feel due to "societal norms."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 05:52 PM
2

Why would you need porn if you are with a higher libido woman who is kinkier than you are?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 05:44 PM
1

Haha then I guess I'm an anomaly since I'm down for sex at least on a daily basis 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 02:35 AM
1

Hahaha yeah I guess they could. It just wasn't super prevalent in the 18-24yo range at the time...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 10:37 PM
3

No my number is not 35+, that must have been someone else's comment. I simply said my number was quite significantly higher than my husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:21 PM
3

Dude your just being pitiful at this point. I can cum just fine, it just required a man who was willing to take the time to learn my body, be patient, and care about my pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:19 PM
5

Yeah poor guy.... together almost two decades, happily married, happy kids, successful careers, own our home, and have a thriving sex life. I bet that is something no man would want....🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 08:22 PM
2

I chose my husband intentionally, not as a "consolation prize." We have remained faithful to each other, raised children, and our marriage is better than it has ever been. We have gone through plenty of struggles to get here, but we didn't make a commitment just to throw it away. The men I slept with before were some chosen, some random hook-ups, and some just opportunistic. There was never a "type" and definitely not a string of what you consider "alpha males." I don't miss any of them, and imo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:02 PM
6

What is wrong with you? He is more than happy with our sex life, and we have both learned each other so well that no one else could compare it they tried. Just because it doesn't fit your narrative doesn't make it a lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:15 PM
3

You don't have to, but it doesn't change the facts, and I'm by far not the only female with this same experience. Believing that random men can just get a woman off consistently first try actually shows a pretty low understanding of female arousal.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 02:36 PM
6

My husband is the only one who has ever made me orgasm, and he put the work in to learn my body and actually cares if I cum.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:31 PM
6

It is entirely plausible; despite a higher count, not one guy before my husband made me orgasm. The chances of a hookup, knowing nothing about your body and what specifically works for you, making a woman orgasm in one try is pretty low. Chances of her faking it are pretty high.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:29 PM
2

I had extensively more experience than my husband (he had a handful of one night stands). Your premise that he is "doomed to be a mediocre lover" is incorrect; learning what works for other women does not teach you how to please the woman you are with. He has taken the time to learn my mind and body, and he is the only man who has ever made me orgasm, and has even made me squirt a couple of times recently. Even if you have no previous experience you can learn what works for your partner and make…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:26 PM
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