How to bite your tongue...

JustAnotherBoymoder · 2024-02-14T18:59:33+00:00

Someone who tries to control everything and always gives their input doesn't come across as intelligent, they come across as neurotic and unable to trust. Have you ever had a manager who always felt the need to be heavily involved in your work and always know every little detail and give their thoughts, instead of just letting you do your work like an adult? I doubt they came across as intelligent, they probably came off as overbearing and added stress to the both of you.

That said, it's a practiced skill, and you're not going to be perfect at it at first. I know I've suggested the Surrendered Wife to you before and you've listened to the audiobook, but I'd suggest that you revisit chapter 21, Never Eat Worms. There's a learning curve, but even cutting back some is great.

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-02-14T22:46:12+00:00

I'm Type A. He's Type B. I bite my tongue when I realize that commenting won't change anything. If he loaded the dishwasher "wrong," but nothing broke or was at risk of breaking, I keep my mouth shut. If the lawn is a little high, I leave it. I try to only speak up when it will actually make a difference. For example, if the dishes aren't getting clean, because he overloads them, I'm going to say something. If the lawn is so high that I'm worried about snakes getting my babies, I'm going to say something... probably until it gets mowed.

Hang_your_halo · 2024-02-14T18:56:27+00:00

Practice the pause! Pause before responding. My issue is that I usually feel less intelligent when I am impulsive with my words. I will regret what I say. By working on pausing before any response (good or bad) I can really think about what I’m going to say.

I think the key is practicing pausing before any response. Then, when it matters, it will be a habit.

Edit: grammar fix

FancyPants882 · 2024-02-14T22:09:57+00:00

I'm a type A and have a history of anxiety and an impulse to control everything. It comes down to being able to let go and relax, and that all comes from reminding yourself that you trust your man and his competence. I honestly now find it quite easy and the transition didn't take long at all.

I found that it's very easy to respond in a reactive way, but by just stopping for one moment to ask yourself a few questions can bring it all into perspective very quickly and stop that stress response in its tracks. The questions I ask myself are: 1. Do I trust him? 2. Is he competent? 3. If he does mess it all up, is it even going to be a big deal? (This is helpful early on with lower-stakes decisions, but even with higher-stakes ones, you need to accept that things could all go totally pear-shaped, and still trust him to figure it out if that happens). 4. If I do step in, what will that be showing him in terms of my respect and confidence levels in him? Is that actually a positive contribution to the situation?

If you're really struggling, try it out with smaller things first that you aren't as invested in/feel the need to control as much, and you'll quickly feel the confidence in your man grow enough to just let go and hand the reigns over to him fully.

HedgeRunner · 2024-02-14T19:52:52+00:00

Think we'll need more context to give advice.

How does your type A personality interface with your speech pattern?

LiteratureOk7716 · 2024-02-16T07:21:48+00:00

Type A's do well at work -- I'm married to one, but u/murkyperspective767 knows when to turn it on and off. For example, we were going back to our car after dinner, when we saw a guy and a girl yelling at each other. When he raised his arm to hit her, my husband grabbed his hand, to keep it from hitting her.

After she'd gone out of the firing line, he said to guy, "Not in my presence, ok?" and the guy slowly nodded. Husband said "happy Valentine's Day" and we went off.

He's definitely a successful, hardwoking, and provides a good life for us, but he also has a humanitarian/SJW side that is certainly not type A.

Me too, I'm a driven oncologist in the NHS, but I'm certainly more type B at home and bite my tongue by nature.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-14T18:39:22+00:00

Title: How to bite your tongue...

Author Few-Laugh-6508

Full text: Sorry for all the posts....I have really been doing the resource readings and just have a lot of questions.

How the heck do yall bite your tongues when you are naturally a very type A personality??? Does it make you feel like you are perceived as less intelligent?

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Title	How to bite your tongue...
Author	Few-Laugh-6508
Upvotes	16
Comments	38
Date	February 14, 2024 6:39 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1aqu81t/how_to_bite_your_tongue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-bite-your-tongue.1245404 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245404

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