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FancyPants882 Archive

View 6 posts and 108 comments by FancyPants882 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

It's sounds like this is a case of FEAR of fomo (not even actual fomo haha). In which case I think you're overthinking it. You do you and wear the pink. Trust me, when you look back you'll be happier that you put your stamp on your moment, than if you fit in with a crowd and culture you don't identify strongly with. I have personal experience with going with something for the sake of "that's what you're meant to to do" and not wanting to regret missing out on it later. It really wasn't me at all…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/26 02:49 AM
13

It's not just about finding a rich man. Wealth is a means to an end. It's about finding a man who can provide you with the life you want. It's a very individual thing and ending up with the right man starts with having aligned goals in life. Yes, money opens doors and smooths the path but the right man will lead you to a fulfilling life.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 01:47 PM
2

Thanks! Just wanted to share something positive :)
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 01:42 PM
1

Thanks! Yes pigs will be a new adventure. My husband and I are both from the city and chose to move out to this lifestyle so it's all been one big learning curve! We started with a pet dog and have slowly been building it up haha. We'd love ducks, too. All the best with finding your forever home!
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/24 09:06 PM
1

We have chickens for eggs and meat and a cow and her calf for milk and future meat. We did also have a sheep but we processed her. We're looking to do pigs next. It's more of a subsistence/homestead type of scenario than a money-making exercise. What do you guys have?
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/24 08:17 PM
11

From the details you provided of your specific situation, I'd suggest sitting down with your partner and discussing who should take primary responsibility for what tasks. You can start with your aptitudes and preferences for particular tasks to guide the discussion. Personally in my relationship, we have a fairly traditional gender roles duties list, but we're always willing to step in and help out when the other needs. Our attitude towards it is more, who is responsible for ensuring this task/d…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/24 12:22 PM
12

You could take the preparing for pregnancy angle. It can be a huge motivator. Tell him how you've researched pre-pregnancy health and tell him the benefits of being fit and toned before conception to have the healthiest baby possible. Tell him you want to achieve this together (I.e. you get fit and toned too), including other things to help with a healthy conception such as cutting out unhealthy snacks and reducing alcohol consumption. Making any lifestyle change together will make it so much ea…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/24 11:32 PM
2

I suppose the question is.... did it have a mod?
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/24 12:02 AM
6

Your advice about communicating approaches that work with the child is spot on. My husband and I will often share with each other ways we approach things with our little one that have worked well, for the benefit of the other. We're also big on consistency from both parents so it helps us to be on the same page, always looking for the best way to do something - egos aside. Edit: I will add that we will very seldom interrupt or override the other while they're currently dealing with the little on…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/24 10:26 PM
8

You've scared yourself by spending too much time consuming negative content. The way to handle this is not to try to be as bad as those who have scared you, but to firstly, stop consuming that content, and to secondly, make sure you vet well for the right man. Women who get used like this are often caught unawares and didn't put the time in to vet properly before becoming physically intimate. A guy who's looking to P&D isn't going to stick around if the girl he's dating doesn't put out in the ea…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/24 09:02 PM
44

This kind of thinking perpetuates the gender war, which, spoiler: nobody wins. Also, it's akin to punishing someone before they've done anything - on the assumption that they would, solely based on a generalised presumption without considering anything about the individual. Not all men are assholes. You dont know that this individual guy is a pump and dumper, and after being treated that poorly by a woman, he could very well become one. There's really nothing to gain from your strategy beyond a …
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/24 12:52 PM
7

I too have held onto some baby weight which I'm in the process of losing. My husband loves the changes to my body, and has mentioned that if I lost a little weight I would have a smoking body so I know that he would prefer it if I didn't have as much fat (honestly, I knew that anyway). It sounds as though your husband loves and appreciates your body. I think considering this, it's more than likely you can continue to have a successful marriage at your current weight, but I think it's also true t…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/24 08:37 PM
1

Oh thanks for clarifying. With omissions, do you mean in the sense that he's missed something important that he needs to consider, or in the sense that you're trying to avoid being argumentative over things? With regards to the former, don't worry about it. I've found that it's common for me to think he's missed something, only to discover that he had already considered and discounted it, so didn't have the need to mention it. If it ends up becoming a problem, he will see it, deal with it, and l…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 01:18 AM
5

I'm a type A and have a history of anxiety and an impulse to control everything. It comes down to being able to let go and relax, and that all comes from reminding yourself that you trust your man and his competence. I honestly now find it quite easy and the transition didn't take long at all. I found that it's very easy to respond in a reactive way, but by just stopping for one moment to ask yourself a few questions can bring it all into perspective very quickly and stop that stress response in…
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:09 PM
7

It stands for Spouse Fulfilling Proficy. Laura Doyle talks about it a lot. I think she may have coined the phrase. Essentially, it's saying things to your man to help him to manifest it. Some people will go to the point of lying, e.g. if you want your messy husband to be tidier, you'd say "you're always so tidy", and the theory goes that will lead him to actually become tidier. My husband and I don't lie to each other, and I find using it that way manipulative, so I use it to encourage him with …
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/24 01:19 AM
13

I've helped my husband through similar. Show him you have faith and an unwavering belief in his ability. Because right now he's probably doubting himself, and feeling the judgement and scrutiny of others going through the job application process. He may even be feeling sensitive about you or others close to him knowing he "failed", and worrying that he won't find another good job opportunity. SFPs go a long way in situations like this, too. Tell him how talented/experienced he is in his field, h…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/24 12:03 AM
28

The men's spaces don't offer any actionable, useful advice for women. In OP's case, it's just creating anxiety and worry without solutions. Also, a lot of the men's content out there is cheap click bait and fails to address the core of red pill. In other words, it isn't all quality and consuming trash isn't helpful to anybody. Considering that, coupled with the fact that even if she finds the quality content it isn't going to be very useful to her as a woman, there really isn't much point. It ju…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 08:57 PM
2

It's definitely true when it comes to how men and women communicate. It doesn't mean women don't think rationally and logically, or that men don't think emotionally and have no sensitivity. It's a generalisation on the way they approach communication and the frame through which they tend to see things.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 11:35 PM
5

Yes Laura Doyle! She also has a podcast with truely inspiring stories with women being interviewed on how they turned their relationships around using her skills. It can help while on the journey. OP - The fact that you said you used to be attracted to him, and that your behaviour has changed his to be less manly in your eyes, makes me think that Laura Doyle will be particularly helpful in your situation. Just as your behaviour has influenced him in an undesirable way, you can turn it around wit…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 11:29 PM
1

With regards to dating and finding a long-term partner, hormonal birth control can really screw things up for you. Your pheromones and scent are strongly impacted by your hormones, and interrupting them disrupts your natural scent that attracts men. Conversely, the scents that you are attracted to and your attunement to scents is disrupted while on HBC. This can lead to people's natural and instinctual attraction to each other being completely railroaded. When entering a relationship on HBC then…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 01:17 AM
2

There's a lot of good advice here already that I won't repeat, but I'd also like to add this: have you tried to resolve the anxiety and fear of the dark you're experiencing? There are a lot of strategies and techniques out there to assist with this. Is it possible that you are procrastinating going to bed due to the fear you experience? Perhaps if you try to tackle the anxiety you could find yourself going to bed at the same time as your husband, and falling asleep quickly (hence less moving aro…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 10:49 PM
8

Thanks for sharing! I love this post as it's a snapshot of the positive, practical application of the skills. It's a great little reminder all packaged up. And hearing success stories is always motivating :) I love that you stressed the importance of vetting and that these skills won't work if one hasn't vetted properly, too.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/24 11:20 PM
2

My husband definitely enjoys that he is able to provide for his family and certainly has an innate drive, sense of responsibility and duty to do so.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 03:45 AM
1

I agree the system is working against traditional roles, but I don't think all is lost. My husband and I have chosen the lifestyle of me being a homemaker/sahm and have done everything possible to make that happen, which includes chosing to live within our means and to be content with what that entails. It's about where our priorities lie in terms of what I contribute non-financially vs. increasing our earning potential. Whilst I acknowledge there are some families doing it extremely tough (and …
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 03:43 AM
2

Fantastic post, thank you for sharing! I struggle with this too and the motivations you stated for cleaning the house before you implemented the change are exactly my current ones, too. The tracking aspect seems particularly effective. I did a similar thing with diet and exercise. By recording what I'd eaten and how I'd trained each day, it would motivate me to eat well, train consistently and chase better lifts - all so I could write down a great entry on it! Conversely, if I'd eaten poorly or …
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/23 09:36 PM
3

Something I've witnessed is that whilst a mother can (pathologically) cling on to her to adult son, it's up to the man to break free of her, and he can do so if he wills it. The difficulty is with the man seeing the issue, as it's the way the relationship between he and his mother has always been and he can struggle with perspective. All the molly coddling in the world won't stop a properly matured man from becoming self-determinging and self-reliant, although a mother who doesn't let go can cer…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/23 09:03 AM
7

It sounds to me like she hasn't been able to respect her son as a man and let her role as a mother change and grow from what it needed to be when her son was a boy. She's likely fearful of him branching out on his own, away from her control and guidance, and is taking comfort in trusting you with taking the reigns. Your boyfriend going to grad school because of you doesn't necessarily mean you're leading him. It could be that you're inspiring him to take responsibility as a provider, and he's be…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/23 01:00 AM
11

It depends on what you mean by traditional. Traditionally, every single culture had a common spirituality within that culture. Whether or not it was organised into what could be classed as a religion is another matter for debate. To live the traditional ways of your people is to live with its traditional spirituality/religion. There's also the current-day term of "traditional values" which are adopted by those who are religious, agnostic, atheist or have a spirituality but I'd argue that those v…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 08:37 PM
7

I always assumed it was because they had an exhibitionist fettish. And no self-respect.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 10:23 AM
3

It isn't necessarily a problem as per some of the other comments, but it comes down to you and what you're looking for. If you're wanting him to take charge on a date for example, try asking him to. Say something like, I'd love for you to treat me with a surprise date where you choose and organise what we're doing. If he isn't used to doing those kinds of things he'll get to try it on and he may find that he likes doing that for you. Remember to give him heaps of appreciation after he pulls it o…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/23 09:38 PM
3

This advice is amazing, and not just for the context in question. This is a wonderful approach for when your Captain comes to you with problems whirring around in his head in general. Sometimes life can throw big curve balls that take days/weeks/months to work through and this is a great approach for supporting your man through it!
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/23 09:10 AM
1

It sounds as though he's generally very stressed. It's easy for men to become overwhelmed with all of the negativity of the world and the news, etc. You have already voiced what's irking you, and he's taken steps to make things nicer for you which is awesome so continuing to tell him the same things will be counter-productive. Instead of taking the approach of telling him how his frustration and negativity is impacting you (which would add to his problems and worry), try to take a compassionate …
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/23 01:34 AM
15

This is spot on. It's all too easy to be duped by the aesthetic of alpha behaviours without realising that leadership qualities are seriously lacking. Interestingly, I've experienced other men also being drawn to follow an "alpha" of the friendship group who is no more than a domineering bully with ego issues. So it's not just women who struggle with the distinction.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/23 11:15 PM
14

Your explanation differentiating dominance and leadership is spot on and very insightful! And certainly not spoken about enough. I think this is worthy of a star. Edit: I can't find how to nominate can anyone help me out?
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/23 11:09 PM
12

Number 2 is helpful to keep in mind if you're a constant emotional burden on your captain, or if the relationship is struggling and you're needing to bridge the gap. However, in a strong and healthy relationship you shouldn't need to hide your true emotions. And I agree as stated above that it is the captain's responsibility to ensure everyone he's leading is doing well and to support those who are struggling. My husband certainly feels this responsibility intuitively. It's plain to see why men …
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/23 03:31 AM
1

The way I see it there is already a toxic dynamic. A good man should want to defend and protect his woman from attacks (physical or emotional). The fact it's coming from family makes the consequences potentially more complicated, but the principal remains - it would be unacceptable for him to sit by and witness his wife being treated poorly, by anyone. I also have the perspective of a husband and wife being a united unit towards the outside world. Could you explain further on the toxic dynamic? …
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/23 10:56 PM
21

I agree with this. It allows you to maintain your composure and femininity in the moment. I think this coupled with my other comment (with your husband taking care of defending you), would work really well together.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 10:20 AM
21

Have you tried speaking to your husband about it? If these comments are said in front of him he could step in and defend you. He will probably be more than happy to be your hero if you come to him asking for his help. He would need to be equipped with what he would say against their feminist remarks and make it clear that it is not acceptable for you to be spoken to disrespectfully, and if it continues you can always leave. It sounds as though your choices aren't being respected and boundaries n…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 10:08 AM
16

You can be a gracious guest and still maintain your integrity. It can become a fast track to being bullied if you change your ways so readily. Edit: Frankly, they're being rude and no one needs to tolerate that. They are being poor hosts if they are yelling at their guests.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 09:01 AM
2

It sounds like there may be a psychological reason for your response to sexual intimacy, and you may be fearful of sex. It seems that anything that may lead to sex is anxiety-inducing for you. Had you ever experienced sexual trauma prior to these feelings towards sex with your ex? Or was a sense of guilt around sex ever instilled in you (e.g. from religion or culture)? I've known women who have had a similar response to sexual intimacy due to these reasons. Sex isn't supposed to be painful or un…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 11:59 AM
13

The mindset I've always had with my husband is that he may not be single, but that doesn't make him blind. And the fact that he finds other women attractive and still comes home to me every day means more than if he were blind to other women and weren't making that choice. Because of the way I view it I've never had a problem with my husband telling me someone else is good looking. Maybe seeing things this way could help you. As for insecurities, he wouldn't be with you if he didn't find you att…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 05:02 AM
2

I'm referring to temperance as a virtue. Wikipedia explains it pretty well: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temperance_(virtue)
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 07:52 AM
37

I'd like to add temperance and self-control
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 08:53 AM
2

I find that when I'm feeling resentful it's time for me to stop and reset. Do things for yourself. Do you have any hobbies or social activities that take you out of the house and away from your familial responsibilities? If not, pursue one. This could help you feel replenished and refreshed, ready to be present for your family and your familial duties. Do something that relates to the things you feel like you've had to give up. I also find for me that when I'm feeling stressed or anxious it'll t…
/r/RedPillWives10/11/23 05:33 AM
2

This is great advice!
/r/RedPillWives10/11/23 05:25 AM
4

I have this problem too and am keen to hear any insights from the community!
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/23 10:20 AM
3

There is already some great advice here. I just wanted to add that sometimes men - people in general, too - just need quiet, down time. Maybe after having an afternoon out with you he just needed to regroup, and when he tried to initiate conversation again that was him saying he was ready to engage with the world again. This concept is particularly true for introverts. Could this be the case with your husband?
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 11:01 PM
1

I agree. It sounds like you're bringing past trauma to a current situation. Therapy could help you to break the connection between the trauma and the present moment.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 10:27 PM
1

He sounds like he could be depressed. I'd suggest approaching the issue through that lense. Having said that, here are some other things that could help that Laura Doyle talks about.... In terms of how to get him on board with the financial situation.... How much visibility/control does he have over the finances? It's important that he feels financial responsibility as this will help motivate him to fix any financial issues that arise. Handing over complete control of the finances to him will le…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/23 05:24 PM
2

There is a line between your man supporting you through ups and downs and him being your emotional support 100%. Men love to be the hero and help with our problems, and may even want you to share with him. I don't think it would be an attraction killer to show him your vulnerability but to rely on him totally to help you through could wear him down, particularly if it's an ongoing problem. Turn to self care and good friends and family to help relieve the burden. Sometimes when I'm working throug…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 12:50 AM
14

I don't speak poorly about my man to anyone either, and he doesn't speak poorly about me to anyone. Even tiny "always-leaves-the-toilet-seat-up" type things. I won't bitch about my in laws to anyone either as that feels disrespectful to my husband too. My husband and I have always addressed issues directly with each other. I come from an incredibly gossipy family, to the point where they all thought I was in some kind of unsafe relationship because I wouldn't say a bad word against my husband to…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/23 10:45 PM
6

I think this is total nonsense. Men generally want to put their best foot forward when going out, and once they get a lady they tend to put in effort to look nice for them on a date etc. The only way I can see it being an actual trend is if men's self-worth is extremely low (hence poor grooming etc) until they find a girlfriend and then they get and ego trip out of it (and put more effort into their appearance).
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 09:43 AM
6

100% this. Role modelling is the best teacher. I don't know of any particular parenting books to recommend, but what I do is let wisdom and values guide my parenting, not other people's opinions or parenting fads. In terms of books for children, it's more difficult to find kids books that have traditional values and depict traditional relationshipships and society, but not impossible. I've had a lot of success with simply getting children's books that were around just a few decades ago (a heap a…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 11:08 AM
2

You could try learning about and practicing tantric sex together (I'm assuming this isn't something you've delved into together). It can help to form a deep sexual connection with someone, and a lot of the exercises are more about being present in the sexual experience than climax. Actively and mindfully exploring this together might help to create a sexual bond, whilst also improving technique and sexual pleasure for the both of you. With you both having previous sexual partners it could also b…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 05:12 AM
1

Signal
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 04:54 AM
19

Maybe having an animal to care for will help to bring out the nurturing and gentle side of femininity. I say this because I wasn't very in touch with my femininity until pregnancy and motherhood. Growing up I always associated many femine characteristics with negative connotations due to my upbringing, but motherhood awakened my femininity big time. Maybe finding a pet that you think is particularly cute and helpless could awaken similar feelings within you. Also, try to think of a time you felt…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 01:41 AM
2

Haha yes it takes a bit of getting used to, but if you use your breath it makes it much easier. The goal is to relax through it, even if there is an initial shock. There are heaps of Wim Hoff videos on YouTube and info online about it if you're interested. It's well worth it though you'll feel amazing.
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/23 11:03 AM
1

Children have the best chance to survive and thrive if their father is able to protect, provide for and role model to them as well as protecting and providing for their mother adequately. This is his responsibility as a father. A man who has children to multiple women is unable to achieve this as effectively for all of his children. EDIT: Women are the gate keepers of sex and reproduction. Men are only able to sleep around with women because there are women who fail in their duty to protect acce…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/23 12:13 AM
2

Thanks for the suggestion. I can see this could give him the boost he needs to help feel like problems aren't bigger than him. My husband clearly appreciates it when I tell him I'm proud of him. It's like he's getting the recognition that he never asks for and the world doesn't give him and it just means so much to him.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 10:01 AM
1

Thanks! I've definitely found that to be true with my husband and it's a great reminder that it's times like these he needs it the most.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 09:57 AM
2

Thanks for your suggestions :) BJs definitely make them feel appreciated differently from PIV.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 10:17 PM
6

Thanks for linking the article. It's just the reminder I needed to make things a bit more fun :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 10:14 PM
1

Thanks for your perspective :) we have a few tasks around the house that are shared based on who's able to do it, so I'll make sure I take those off his plate. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 10:13 PM
2

That movie night sounded lovely! What a great idea. Making his life easier is essentially what I have been trying to do (not bothering him with my wants was a big one, but still making my needs known when I had to), as well as being there for him to talk to without turning it into being about me. I also looked past him being a little short or snappy with me (it was only a couple of instances) which is out of character and obviously not actually about me anyway... imagine how the conversation of …
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 10:11 PM
7

The quickest and most effective way I've found has helped me personally is practising the Wim Hoff Method. Basically the breathing exercises and cold showers. It's pulled me out of depression and anxiety like nothing else. The hardest part is getting the motivation and will to do it but it's so worth it. I've been in some dark places and literally right after the breathing followed by a cold shower I am happy, energetic, feeling like I can handle anything and back to my old self. I make it a mor…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/23 10:55 PM
3

She is willing to wear nice panties for him. Her issue is with his request for her to wear them 24/7 incase the mood strikes. There is a big difference, particularly as wearing something like that all the time is uncomfortable for her and unhealthy.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 11:03 AM
1

I can definitely relate to you. Except my husband is the direct type too. I've found being blunt can come across as bitchy and insensitive and it's something I can be guilty of from time to time, although I think I've become a lot better at it.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 10:06 PM
1

I suppose I see authenticity in the way you describe being genuine (it's fairly synonymous I think). Authenticity means being true to yourself and others, and as you pointed out that isn't necessarily consistent from one moment to the next. Personally, by lying I would certainly not be authentic and genuine. Some people would be, such as a lying narcissist, for instance, however I really don’t think RP is about fostering those kinds of personality traits, hence my initial query.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 05:24 AM
1

How you feel is a fact as far as I can see. Sometimes it can be hard to discern for yourself how you feel, but it's still the way you feel regardless of if you can put a name to it. Perhaps you've hit the nail on the head - I could be struggling to see the benefit to this one as I don't see it as a particularly useful tool in my relationship. Using spose-fulfilling prophecies in an honest way is definitely something I could incorporate though.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 05:07 AM
2

Letting fear control behaviour is a big one I've struggled with. It's hard to surrender when you're fearful, but it's one of the best antidotes as you worry so much less about everything. Thanks for sharing your experience, your relationship sounds wonderful and full of authenticity.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 05:02 AM
1

You're right, and there's no lie in either of those statements. Just a difference in how you choose to see it. One of the really valuable things I've taken from RPW is that it isn't only about being more considered and positive in how you speak to your man, but also being more considered and positive in what you actually think. The goal might be to make him happier, but by truely believing the more positive things you're saying it leads to personal contentment and satisfaction. In that way it be…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 04:53 AM
1

My husband and I are definitely more of a talk about everything kind of couple, so it's encouraging to hear that it isn't incompatable with RPW. I don't think that respect and kindness and being truthful are mutually exclusive. The way you say things, and the time and place can play a big part in being respectful and kind when telling the truth. Just because you're being honest it doesn't mean you have to be blunt and brutal about it. I actually consider showing someone the decency of being trut…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 10:43 AM
2

Thanks for your perspective, it makes a lot of sense.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 10:34 AM
1

Thanks for sharing. I understand your perspective, but I think my husband would find it disrespectful if I told him something that wasn't completely true. I like the idea of being intentional with your energy and attention and focusing on the positives. That's something I've really taken from what I've been reading and I've definitely been lacking in this respect.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 10:32 AM
1

Definitely true! We can't lose sight of the fact that the whole purpose of the strategies is to create the best relationship possible.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 10:21 AM
1

I agree picking on the little things can be counter-productive. I see a difference between not voicing a thought and actually lying though. Seeing it as a toolbox is helpful, thanks. As I've been learning more about it I can see that being the best approach.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 10:19 AM
3

I really like the way you see it. In terms of spouse-fulfilling prophecies, that's exactly how I was thinking of implementing it. Instead of lying about what I think, saying the most positive and encouraging truthful statement I can think of. And I think you're approach to being gracious in victory is spot on too. I think being aware that it could be sensitive for him and acting accordingly with respect is all that is needed. And yes I agree that men (all adults, actually) should be able to hand…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 10:14 AM
1

That's an interesting perspective. To correlate the analogy, would you say on-stage is around my husband, backstage is performing my duties without his presence, and off-stage is R&Ring away from him?
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 10:08 AM
2

Thank you! It was my husbands idea - he really does lead us very well :)
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/23 10:17 PM
1

I understand it would create a positive outcome, but my thinking is that the virtue is in the deed not the outcome. I believe that being inauthentic in order to illicit something from someone is manipulative. It mirrors the attitude of a tyrant - 'I know the best outcome and I will pull the strings any which way in order to achieve my end'. I'm not saying RP is tyrannical, I'm just trying to illustrate my point on manipulative behaviours.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/23 07:29 AM
4

I like your framing point, and I agree that the frame RP sets is great. It's more this specific point I can't quite get on board with. Your approach to the sports example is great - the right frame. And it allows one to remain authentic. Keeping it professional like a co-worker makes sense in terms of achieving goals and working as a team, but what about the not-so-professional aspects of a romantic relationship? Doesn't that mean it needs to be approached differently?
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/23 07:18 AM
7

I know what you mean about duct taping leading to not being express how you truely feel. I have a technique that might help. Something my husband and I do is have regular meetings with each other where we talk about any issues we're having in the relationship, discuss parenting, or anything else important that we want to discuss with focus and without interruptions. We begin and end each of these meetings by saying "I love you" to each other and hug at the end, and we can freely and respectfully…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/23 07:11 AM
2

It isn't immasculating or mothering for you to buy him clothes per se, what makes it so would be if he wanted to dress a particular way and you were telling him not to, or buying him clothes that you wanted him to wear but that you knew he didn't like, or dictating what outfit he wears at a partucular time without respecting his personal choice and taste. My husband hates buying clothes - he sees it as a frustrating chore. But he has a definite taste and sense of style, so I'll buy clothes for h…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/23 03:24 AM
1

How much do you need the extra money that is being pulled in by the second job? Once the essentials are payed for, discuss with your husband what quality of life means to you both. Is it having the extra things and the more expensive trips away or is it having time to focus on yourselves individually and as a family? At the end of the day it comes down to what makes you both most happy. Being a good provider isn't just about providing money. Money is a means. Being a good provider is about provi…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/23 12:14 AM
4

I'll share some advice my mother gave me when I was a teenager.... she told me it is important to understand each other's worlds, to get a taste of what each other do and get involved to some extent. It helps to understand each other when you or he want to talk about what's been going on. Have you tried playing any of the games he is in to? Just to have a cursory understanding of them. It might help you to see why he is interested in them so much (yes, they are addictive, but there are also some…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/23 10:19 PM
4

I think the proposed division of finances is overcomplicating things. Would a scenario of having shared finances and you having joint access to his accounts and copies of his credit cards work? To me it seems like a simpler scenario - he's still providing all the money which is masculating and you have access to it as you need, making it "equal". The key practical difference that I can see is that you'll have access to more than the offered 50%. If that's an issue he could create a separate join…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/23 09:53 AM
4

I'll start with that I'm assuming from your post that you don't do face contouring and you don't like it. Please correct me if I'm wrong. I don't think there's anything wrong with him showing them those pictures per se, but I think you need to speak with him and ask him instead of saying that all women are like this, that: not all women are like this, you both don't agree with it, and that you are an example of a good woman. It's also possible that he's genuinely just joking around and your husb…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 10:33 AM
10

I agree with this. If you're not comfortable and happy with the rules, then why on Earth is he? It sounds more like a power play than compassionate and caring love from his end. In context if this and the stonewalling, the age difference also seems to speak to a power play. I think the important thing is to ask yourself, irrespective of how much you love him, is are you happy in this relationship? Do you feel safe and secure or constantly on edge?
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/23 12:10 AM
1

Husband supports the family financially, and takes responsibility for the typical "guy jobs" around the house and property (however I'll help out if I can with little one - it's not always safe to have a toddler around, and sometimes I'm too busy). We share responsibilities for the animals (a sheep, a cow, some chooks and a dog). Its a matter of it all has to happen and whoever has capacity in the moment does it. It works out to be about 50/50 with the ebbs and flows of life. I take responsibili…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 09:28 PM
3

Women motivate men by giving them a reason to go to work, to improve your living standards, and generally strive for better. When they have children that is increased moreso as they are also motivated to do this for their their children too. He shouldn't be looking to you to lead him, but more to give him a reason for doing all he does. I suppose they are two different kinds of "motivation".
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 04:20 AM
1

I think I understand what you're saying. I do think my behaviour has been disrespectful, though, and not simply a case of him being overly sensitive to my comments. "If you feel like you need to be consulted on every decision in your relationship, that’s fine" I think this is kind of my point - I'll reactively seek an explanation, but when I stop and think about it I know I don't need one. And I certainly trust his decision making abilities, and I know that they are genuinely far better than min…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 10:19 PM
2

I love the way you approached those two scenarios!
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 10:09 PM
13

Firstly, I don't think having a body weight goal is the right way to go about it. It should be about what is a fit and healthy weight for you as an individual. 50kg is incredibly light for a tall person, for example. Also muscle mass (which is a sign of strength and health) is heavy and the more you have the heavier you will be, and that kind of weight isn't a bad or unhealthy kind. Having said all that... Without having a specific "weight loss goal" and just wanting to be generally fitter and l…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 07:35 AM
2

He does listen to me and often seeks my counsel. I think this is more of a time and place issue.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 06:25 AM
3

“Men want to be respected, women want to be understood,” This makes so much sense!
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 05:47 AM
3

I guess this is something I struggle with.... finding the right way to ask. I'll talk to my husband about it and see if we can work out a constructive way for me to go about it. Thanks :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 05:46 AM
1

That's all great advice, thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 05:44 AM
1

That's really helpful, thanks so much for your perspective. Its given me a different way to look at it. And we definitely do make a great team!
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 03:54 AM
3

Thanks for that, my husband has been telling me the same thing and it does make heaps of sense. Especially as I can get stressed more easily than I should it would certainly make life easier!
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 03:45 AM
1

Could you elaborate? Why do you think that?
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 08:54 PM
2

That worked! That was a really great thread, thanks for sharing.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 11:51 AM
3

Thanks! I can relate a lot to your last para, and the affirmation idea is great. Much appreciated :) Unfortunately it's a dead link for me.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 10:59 AM
2

This sounds really helpful, thanks! I think that trying to be more considered and less reactive is exactly what I need to do. Thank you 😊
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 10:58 AM
2

Okay this could become long... Well as some background I used to be very fit with a good body and worked out frequently. After our little one was born I didn't lose the baby weight - I put on a lot more than I should have due to undiagnosed pregnancy complications. The pregnancy complications lead to birth trauma and I believe there are psychological reasons for me holding onto the weight. My husband has been trying to support me in getting back into exercise (motivation for me has been an issue…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 10:11 AM
1

Ooh noodle salad sounds interesting... what kind?
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 10:44 PM
1

I think this is primarily a body confidence issue, and approaching it from that perspective could be really helpful. I really don't think it has anything to do with anybody else and how attractive they are or aren't and what other people think of them. Try feeling grateful for everything you body has done and everything it is capable of, accept that you have the genetics that you have, and do what you can to honour and take care of what you have been given. It all comes back to loving your body,…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/23 08:14 AM
1

I totally get you about it being an expensive time to start out on your own. Weddings don't have to be expensive, depending on what kind you want of course! Are you living together? I know it isn't glamorous but maybe you could stay living at one of your parents' places as newly-weds until you get on your feet. All the best to you guys. It's a solid and loving relationship that's most important, with that the rest will come :)
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/23 07:13 AM
3

An advantage of getting married younger is that it can be easier to form life goals and direction together when you haven't already started down a particular path. For example, I've seen it happen where one party wants to live in their dream location, but the other needs to be somewhere else for their career. It can be difficult to build a life with someone when your lives are headed in different directions. I'm stating the obvious here, but it's also easier to have children if you start in your…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 01:14 AM
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