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Few-Laugh-6508 Archive

View 8 posts and 1,191 comments by Few-Laugh-6508 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Again, not sure how that happened, was commenting to that person on another post.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 12:33 PM

Omg I'm so sorry, somehow I commented to the OP on a different post...I don't even know how it got to this one.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 12:06 PM

He has straight up said he only sees his wife as a means to an end. I personally enjoy providing oral sex for my husband, but you can bet your ass I never would if he treated me as nothing more than a warm body to masturbate with.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 11:17 AM

Bitter much?
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 11:05 AM
1

Not anyone I personally know, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 09:22 PM
1

But you don't know the situation you weren't in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 04:57 PM
1

Can you be more specific? And I'm not being sarcastic at all I'm genuinely asking. You mean they're not excited about their partner at all? There's no chemistry whatsoever when they're together?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 04:16 PM
1

So from the beginning of the relationship they show disdain or at minimum no interest in each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 04:12 PM
1

At what part of the relationship are you witnessing this though?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 04:06 PM
1

How do you know that they reluctantly chose someone? How do you know that they are unhappy because of this and not something else?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:58 PM
1

How many women do you actually know, or men for that matter, that felt disdain at the thought of being with someone and later chose them?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:49 PM
1

So you just know copious amounts of women who are with people they don't actually like and openly admit this?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:40 PM
1

Why are you under the impression that women are just randomly being with men that they don't like?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:29 PM
1

The vast majority of the time it really isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:22 PM
1

I'm really sorry that you feel like this, truly.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:19 PM
1

If you are convinced that women only have one type that is what you will look for. And if a woman dates different types of men all you will see is confirmation that she is settling if he is different than the last guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:06 PM
1

Have you considered that is confirmation bias?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:03 PM
1

I have always found a wide variety of men attractive, never just one specific type.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 02:59 PM
1

I'm genuinely curious, why do you feel a woman is only attracted to one type of man?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 02:43 PM
1

Men are hypogamous, they prefer the submissive/girl with less power, who they can control. This is the best description of why so many men on this sub are so bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 05:11 AM
1

I don't even look at people like that, so it's bizarre to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 09:13 PM
1

My statement still stands. I have never looked at my partner and wished I could do better.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 11:42 AM
1

Why are you comparing? Why wouldn't you want to see your partner as beautiful/handsome, etc instead of "well they are the best I can do."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 11:02 AM

Its sad if you really see it like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 10:58 AM
1

Yes he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 11:36 PM
1

No I do find him attractive and he is who I desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 10:22 PM
1

Oh I absolutely find him attractive, but he is not what y'all claim the attraction standard is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 09:47 PM
1

And what is your answer if you wouldn't find that man attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 09:35 PM
1

I'm sorry you feel all, or even most women are like this. We are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 09:34 PM
1

No. Both are working, one in the home, one outside of the home.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 05:46 AM
1

Ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 05:45 AM
1

Fine. An abusive relationship is better than no relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 04:26 AM
1

Attractive, successful, and great personality don't guarantee a good man.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 04:19 AM
1

Sure. It was like that for over a decade, but at least he tolerated my presence. That is absolutely the mark of desirability. I dated one guy while separated. He love bombed me, permanently changed my life, and threw me away like trash after he got what he wanted. So yeah I am on top of the world with feeling desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 04:13 AM
1

I need only highlight one of your recent comments to prove how much you don't seem to be understanting the point: When I say you don't have grounds to talk about a lack of relationships, this is exactly what I'm talking about. I don't mean "being single for a couple of years" or "not being with someone when all your girlfriends seemed to have partners when you were 17", I mean NO relationships, PERIOD. Ok fine does this count? I was married, but my husband compulsively lied, was emotionally abus…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 04:03 AM
1

There are so many women that aren't like this, and who started from the bottom and worked their way up with the man they are with.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:18 AM
1

I was referring to not being trapped in a relationship. I do know how I would feel without the relationship. And if it makes you feel any better, my relationships have done the most permanent damage that I have experienced in my adult life. And for the first time, my current partner is attempting to be what you describe in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 10:51 PM

What do you mean extraxt a higher price? Why is it so impossible to realize that someone doesn't have to be your ideal to be attractive to someone else?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 10:47 PM
2

Then explain what you meant specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 07:12 PM

That's cute, but no. If women date attractive men, they only like "Chads." If women date average men, they are "settling." If women are successful at dating in their 20s it means young women have the highest value and men are "biologically programed to only like young women and reject older women." If women successful date in their 30s and 40s it has nothing to do with them being desirable, it is only because they are "female and privileged." What exactly is the point in trying to have an adult …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:55 PM
3

Feel free to answer my replies.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:51 PM

So its not women in the workforce, its women being put on equal grounds for being hired. Got it. Just look at almost every media in the past years how men are aways portrayed as incompetent, that working out is fatphobic and how masculinity is inherint toxic. Toxic masculinity is toxic, not masculinity in itself. You are very good at circumventing questions, but can you list specific traits that are considered toxic? Men literally make jokes about weaponizing incompetence to avoid being asked to…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:50 PM
1

👍
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:34 PM
3

Doesn't mean you cannot see that they do not develop same metabolic disorders, and depression like western femnism is directly responsible for. No, they are just dying young of things like AIDS and TB. Starvation also helps put an end to metabolic disease as well. But I'm sure there isn't depression 🙄 Today women are growing beards, shaving them everyday. This wasn't the case before or was very rare occurrence, compared to now when such disorders are abundant. Bud, you really should get off redp…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:33 PM
2

Maybe reread your post and you will see why you are struggling with dating/relationships? Most women aren't into men who hate them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:29 PM
3

Your source is third world civilizations/countries without access to basic medical care, much less preventative medicine??? This isn't even logical.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:26 PM
2

Loneliness is a problem in society as a whole. Men are also statistically less likely to commit or to commit faithfully. Do you think advocating for a world where men who hate women and want them to suffer rise up and take control could be part of the problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:25 PM

Conservative is not equal to believing men should control women. Please provide a reputable citation showing that depression, metabolic disorders, and autoimmune disease are tied to feministic beliefs. Also please answer the question about these disorders in pediatrics.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:21 PM
2

Where did I ever say I don't appreciate men? Societial functioning depends just as much on women as it does men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:16 PM

There's not much in prison to fight for. That wasn't the question. If that's true, why men are increasingly becoming conservative? What does conservative beliefs have to do with it? Ok just for fun, I'll bite. So depression, autoimmune disease, metabolic disorders etc exist in a statistically significant higher quantities in men and women who believe in feminism? You are throwing a landmine there but we live in a society, today our society is feministic. Where average man is hated. Again, you ci…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:15 PM

You feel men are being economically destroyed by women being in the workforce? What masculinity ideal is being destroyed?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:13 PM

I'm not in a relationship because I "need" to be. Why would I (or anyone) want that? I have the means to fully provide for myself, but I WANT my relationship. I think a lot of the bitterness that is expressed is a direct reflection on women having the ability to support themselves, and no longer being obligated to tolerate whatever a man dishes out.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:05 PM

We are just not equal, fundamentally. We are intrinsically equal in value and rights. Men have much much higher ability for violence (physical strength) Talk to prison guards; ask them whether they want to work at a male or female prison. 90% will tell you they avoid female whenever possible because they are more violent. If women use their power, why will men not use their power? What exactly do you mean by this? Women overextend themselves on Chad thing. Then men corner chads in street and lig…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:02 PM

I think most people will become self serving and not think about you when society starts failing them. And the only solution is a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:54 PM

If testosterone lowers from relationship/parenthood, how are men maintaining middle to high normal levels of testosterone? Having no self control or morals isn't a testosterone issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:38 PM
6

Some men are awful. Just like some women are awful. It's a human problem, not a gender problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:37 PM

Were you trapped with your parents? Way to deflect. This is sending young girls into continuous danger mode whenever they heat about "kid" they imagine "their own death". This is delusional. What makes you think a woman even qualifies for a great man when majority of women themselves won't win any prize for being moral, accountable, loyal? Hating women doesn't mean they aren't these things. If women are equal, they stand 50% chance winning against men in all out battle for power and control in s…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:36 PM

You are taking the views of a small subset of women and applying it to all of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:32 PM

How is society keeping men from forming families? Look around IN society vs the Internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:26 PM

That simply isn't true.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:25 PM

I give up, yall are impossible. Self reflect and stop blaming women for all your problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:24 PM

So testosterone means you can't have values or self control? Also a relationship doesn't lower testosterone, neither does having a kid. Though I will add the caveat that many men experience a small decrease in the infant stage, but that is typically due to lack of sleep and self-care.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:23 PM

How are you going to say all women don't care?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:18 PM

Women don't need men anymore. Why would you even want a relationship that someone was trapped into? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who WANTED to be with you instead of NEEDED to be with you? Women don't want kids anymore Where is this coming from? Woman can end relationship anytime on her whims since she doesn't value "long term commitment" from a man. Women aren't ending relationships with great men on a whim. Maybe instead of using this excuse, self reflection would be beneficial. Even if…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:16 PM

Seriously??? If women don't give men relationships they will have to turn violent because of their physical strength?!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 04:55 PM
-5

You would have to ask them, I personally find it revolting.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 03:45 PM

You know full well men willing to do that consider it "bragging rights."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 03:41 PM

There are plenty of women who have no issues dating in their 30s-40s. The narrative that men are cold and uninterested in women who aren't young is false. More often than not, older men want the status that comes with being able to say they are dating/having sex with someone in their 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 03:22 PM

I had no lack of options when re-entering dating at 38.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 03:17 PM
1

Cool... objective facts don't lie, but whatever you choose to believe is on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 04:16 PM
0

Well hopefully you find someone who's brain is still on that level as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 04:14 PM

Well hopefully you find someone who's brain is still on that level as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 04:13 PM
1

I already did.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:38 PM
1

You enjoy your internet, I'll enjoy real life 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:35 PM
1

Ok, the key part of my comment you missed was "in real life." Reddit is not representative of real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:29 PM
3

Having a past doesn't mean you are forever a "slutty woman" but I digress. Does this also mean that men who have been accustomed to multiple women cannot be happy with just one woman for the rest of their lives?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:23 PM
1

Ok, then I have never seen a woman turned down for a romantic relationship because she has a sexual past that may include multiple partners and/or casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:19 PM
1

You can believe whatever you want, that doesn't make it true.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:16 PM
1

I have never seen a woman rejected for a relationship because she has had sex before in the real world.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:13 PM

So AGAIN, how does a sexual past have any influence on fidelity? Maybe people want more to a relationship than just passing on genes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:09 PM

Well if a woman having a sexual past means that she is screwing other men and her child potentially doesn't belong to her spouse, then the same must be true of men. If your premise is a sexual past equates to infidelity, it has to apply across the board, not just to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:04 PM
2

Its not that way in the real world, so its a non issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:02 PM

So by that logic, a man with a sexual past is a cheater as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:57 PM
1

👍
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:53 PM
2

You do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:53 PM

You do you. I personally don't shame men for showing emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:41 PM
5

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:34 PM

Justifying it doesn't mean it makes no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:33 PM
-3

I can only answer for myself and I'm not a hypocrite.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:33 PM
3

Lol exactly. I'll take a real man instead of someone using "monkey brain" as an excuse for hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:32 PM

Keep telling yourself that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:31 PM

You can't. Which is your prerogative, as long as you hold yourself to the same standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:24 PM

That has zero bearings on now.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:19 PM

How are you equating the two? Sexual experience and infidelity are wildly different.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:17 PM
1

Fine. 29% of wives make the same as their husbands. 16% of wives make more than their husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 01:27 PM
13

I get not preferring an article of clothing, just not enough to actually make an issue over it, especially if it makes your partner happy. This seems so inconsequential to make a big deal out of, especially when there are so many other potential issues. People see things differently though
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 11:38 AM
8

But to hate something? I personally would feel it trivial and inconsequential if my husband had a wardrobe I like and one item I didn't care for but he really liked. He also feels likewise.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 11:09 AM
12

Ugly is also subjective. But I'm not understanding why he feels so intensely about a item of clothing that is not immodest.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 11:05 AM
27

Why does he feel so strongly about it? Especially if it makes you happy and is flattering?
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/24 10:53 AM
1

You are framing it so that it seems more favorable to women than it is in reality. How is stating it exactly how it is making it more favorable to women than it is in reality?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 10:46 AM
1

Today, wives in egalitarian marriages earn $60,000 at the median, while husbands earn $62,000. You are really splitting hairs over $38/week so you can point out men make "more"? So in 45% of marriages, wives make the same or more income. That's quite the distorted view. How about women make more money in 16% of marriages? How is that distorted? The article clearly stated in 55% of marriages the husband is the primary breadwinner even if the wife is working, in 29% of marriages the husband and wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 10:40 AM
1

Respect is earned, regardless of appearance or gender. I will use my work as an example; I am late 30s, need to lose 20-25lbs, mostly wear no to little make-up, and am averagely pretty, but I am extremely highly esteemed because I am excellent at my job and am extremely smart. I treat others professionally, but respect comes from how well they do their job and if they practice ethically. There have been what y'all would define as high value men whose work ethic makes me despise them, and men who…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 08:21 PM

Where is this statistic from? Here are the actual statistics: Men are the primary breadwinner in 55% of marriage (though 67.5% of married women do work). Husbands and wives have equal income in 29% of marriages, and wives are the primary breadwinner in 16% of marriages. So in 45% of marriages, wives make the same or more income. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/04/13/in-a-growing-share-of-u-s-marriages-husbands-and-wives-earn-about-the-same/
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 07:47 PM
4

I think it much sadder that you describe your own mother as a mediocre woman. What do you define as mediocre?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 01:33 PM
1

Cool, then men should be judged by the same standard. I find it interesting that seeing a man as special is a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 01:13 PM
1

If height is an adequate reason for women to not date men , there should be no problem with men leaving their gfs cause of stretch marks or extra weight. So because some women want some men to be a certain height, all men have the right to leave women over weight and stretch marks?? Again a " You " experience isn't " women " experience, I doubt if you get sexualy assaulted by a woman you would think all woman are bad . This is the experience of a lot of women. I am sorry that that happened to yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 11:10 PM

So if she goes through a party phase and regrets it, she isn't worth it? When she sees a man as someone special that she wants something different with, that is negative?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 10:30 PM

So any women can withdraw her consent to anything but when men try to do it it's " you make vows you should honor them " So stretch marks, loose skin, and/or extra weight is withdrawing consent?! To what exactly??? The main cause of divorce ( that is filled by women 80% of the time ) is financial issues, stop acting like women don't care about the financial situation of men. The top three reasons for divorce are lack of commitment, abuse, and infidelity. Yet the same woman wouldn't date her man …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 10:27 PM
5

No kidding.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 03:40 PM

We are supposed to be sexually naive, but be willing to have sex immediately upon meeting the first man who expresses total disdain and disgust for women. Otherwise its "not fair."
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 02:46 PM

How about doesn't bounce back at all? Life happens. Health and circumstances change. There are a lot of factors. But if you make vows you should honor them. Well well well , the gender who always married men with more money now just found out how stupid it is to love someone based on his money This argument is so exhausting. Gold diggers are the exception, not the rule. If she let herself down would be a better sentence Life happens. There have been so many times that going to the gym was not th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 02:43 PM

So basically if a woman has a baby and doesn't bounce back right away, leave her. If a woman doesn't earn as much as you, leave her. If a woman ages, leave her. And my personal favorite, if a woman loyally stood by your side when you started from the ground up, leave her when you feel you can do better.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 10:18 AM

Doesn't require getting legally married. That literally circumvents my actual question. Women initiate 70-80% (depending on the stat) of divorces. I give. It doesn't seem to be apparent to anyone that the initiator isn't necessarily the one at fault. The vast majority of women are not leaving beautiful marriages with a great husband just because they can. Statistically, extremely few of them. That only perpetuates the myth that men are always high libido and women are always low. Women are the o…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 06:12 AM
1

Continuing to imply that I think the only way to communicate in a relationship is by making demands is an insult to my character, it is abusive and dishonest, and it is more than enough for me to dismiss you and your arguments wholesale. I have not said that once. You said men having emotional or sexual needs as abusive. I said it's absolutely not abusive The only way that it would be bordering on that would be if they were making demands or ignoring consent. I strongly advocate for communicatin…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 11:21 PM
1

I married my husband when he and I both made roughly $12/hr. We have both worked hard to build the life we have.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 01:46 PM
2

5 years older. I wouldn't really consider anyone more than 2 years younger if I were dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 07:09 AM

Men who desire children are not rare. Sure most people aren't ready to settle down in their early 20s, but that doesn't mean they don't want children down the line. To that end, a woman who never wants children would not be a compatible partner. So you have decided that even reputable scientific sources are out to get men? Women overall end up better off and more supported after a divorce than men do, it really is just the facts How so? Women ALSO lose half of everything. No judge will award ina…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 04:40 AM
1

n a world where women are inundated with options through social media and dating apps, how can you be sure that you were her first choice when dating? Even if she does display a desire to be with you, has sex with you regularly with her initiating mostly, asking to see you regularly, planning things to do together, how do you know that she wasn't pining for someone else in her dm's who had ignored her or broke contact? The majority of women shut down advances when they are in relationships. Thes…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 02:45 AM
3

No I wouldn't. We both worked our way up from the bottom together, so neither had more than the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 12:43 AM

I don't have time right now to look them up, but this is a pretty well known fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 11:29 PM

There are plenty of statistics that demonstrate men are more likely to stray.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 10:48 PM

Many many cases do not award alimony. I am currently attempting to reconcile with my husband, but if it does not work, I have no intention of getting alimony. Women still lose half their assets in divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 10:01 PM
2

?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 09:58 PM

I cited multiple studies that showed how men benefitted more. Women do also benefit from marriage. There are men who legitimately desire monogomy and who legitimately want children. Correct not every woman is a good wife, but they don't represent the rest of us. What do you consider a traditional wife? How do you feel that monogomy and children mean women are getting all of their needs met ? Men need emotional support just as much they just don't know how to ask for it. They should still get it …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 09:58 PM
7

I agree!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 07:28 PM

No, I didn't. Marraige doesn't have a monopoly on cooperation either. You said men are the "floor managers of the nuclear family." Where did I say ignoring consent is an option? I lamented that you characterize communicating one's needs as "making demands". Under your logic communicating needs is only ever making demands. You are projecting the rejection of healthy ways of communicating onto me. Please tell me where I equated healthy communication with making demands. If those are equal to you, …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 07:25 PM
2

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 06:53 PM

Pretty sure I asked how men benefit. You stated men have the sole responsibility of managing the family. They do not therefore one of the benefits is to have a partner that works side by side with them. So I can want my needs met I just cannot communicate that desire. Awesome, and hilarious that you see no paradox here Most concerning is that you seem to feel that to express your needs you must either one make demands or to ignore consent. Because those are the two criteria I said that would mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 06:26 PM

I keep thinking this topic will get tiring, but apparently not. But beyond that, the husband status is just the floor manager of the nuclear family now: all responsibilities and no benefits. Not even intangible benefits like status, only obligations Both partners manage the family. Do you honestly know women who don't work, don't contribute to the running of the home, have nothing to do with their kids, etc? In fact, men expecting emotional or sexual reciprocation seems to be an invitation to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 05:49 PM

I won't speak for everyone obviously, but I know a lot of women, including myself, still find men who aren't "fit" attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 12:11 PM

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 12:02 PM

Y'all will eventually get tired of this argument, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 11:32 AM
7

Everyone has them and we each have ones that we don’t really mind and others that are deal breakers. Lying is the biggest deal breaker for me. Also, if you were married to a man who gave you absolutely everything you desired, materially, intellectually, emotionally, sexually and was a great father to your children, would you tolerate him sleeping with someone else occasionally? 1) No one can do this. 2) No, because sleeping with someone else would be the opposite of what I need in a monogamous r…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:37 PM
1

Whatever works for you and makes you feel better.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 07:41 PM
1

Except it isn't true.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 07:36 PM
1

1) why do you think women all collectively think of men a certain way? 2) how does women working create this "toxic" culture?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 05:43 PM
1

But you specifically referred to women not being trapped as toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 05:37 PM
1

Why do you feel women not being trapped is toxic?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 05:06 PM
1

Sure, if you feel that women having adequate income means they can discard abusive or unloving men more easily, then yes we agree. A man only needs to trap a woman he doesn't plan on treating well.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 04:48 PM
1

No, it means they aren't trapped anymore. They don't have to tolerate the things that women before them were trapped into tolerating.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 04:30 PM
1

In what way do women have this expectation, especially if the majority of women work?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 04:27 PM
1

Men being the sole source of support in a relationship is no longer the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 04:20 PM
1

That's a shame that you believe sll women are out to destroy you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 04:14 PM
1

Why let random people who don't matter decide who you are? I have been told by countless men that the only reasons my husband had a porn addiction were because I must be hideous, obese, a prude, or a starfish. I don't let these things define me because I know they aren't true.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:52 PM
1

Incel is not an automatically assigned term to single men, it is a very specific group of people. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9780135/ Femdom is a fetish shared by men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:31 PM
1

I'm not lecturing you, just having a conversation. Who has determined single women are enlightened geniuses but single men are damaged?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:19 PM
1

That you have personally been with? If I look at my relationship experiences, most were very negative. But I still understand that doesn't mean all men are that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:14 PM
1

That you have personally been with? If I look at my relationship experiences, most were very negative. But I still understand that doesn't mean all men are that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:13 PM
1

That you have personally been with? If I look at my relationship experiences, most were very negative. But I still understand that doesn't mean all men are that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:13 PM
1

One woman was the biggest disappointment. I get that you have a lot of pain and bitterness, but she is not a representation of all women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:12 PM
1

You are allowing one woman to change your perception of all women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:09 PM
1

That isn't hypergamy and empathy gap, that is trauma and conditioning. I am sorry you went through that though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:06 PM
1

And she hated you?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:01 PM
1

Why did you have sex with them? I have had relationships with awful men, but it wouldn't be appropriate at all to see them as representative of all men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:56 PM
1

I do not know where you are getting your figures from, or why you are internalizing statements that didn't apply to you. I see men make derogatory and demeaning statements about women all the time; I know they aren't true about me and that all men don't feel that way, so I don't internalize it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:54 PM
1

You referenced "Me Too" so we are not talking about average men, we are talking about abusers. If you internalized that, then that is something you need to unpack.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:46 PM
1

Men who are abusers do not deserve respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:36 PM
1

Women do try to realize signs of abusive men, and avoid them. Women want abusive men to leave them alone. If you feel that calling out sexual abuse is detrimental to men, then leaving women alone is probably best.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:31 PM
1

Why would they want to be with someone they secretly hate? Why would we care about the default human except in situations where it was to our detriment?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:17 PM
1

I'm glad your happy. No one has a duty to partner up. It should be out of genuinely desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:15 PM
1

You realize that you can despise abusers without despise an entire gender, correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:14 PM
1

They don't even represent the vast majority. Why would I take it up with them? I hear people say things all the time that don't accurately describe life, it doesn't mean I make it part of my personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:11 PM
1

If a man was ruined by "Me Too" then he is a predator and deserved to be ruined. You are really saying that a movement to bring awareness of sexual harassment and abuse in the workplace was meant to "bring men to their knees"?? Do you feel that men innately have some kind of sexual "right" over women??
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:10 PM
1

Some women said that. They don't represent even the majority of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:07 PM
1

That does not make it the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:01 PM
1

That isn't the underlying issue. You are saying that you tried it, it didn't work, so therefore it must not be real?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:58 PM
1

"In terms of high levels of control and aggression, there was no difference between men and women." "Her study deliberately focused on young students in their late teens and early 20s because statistically they were most likely to be victims of aggression." This is a small study looking at the propensity for abusive behavior, not the dynamic in a normal marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:58 PM
1

Its 70%, but regardless, you do realize that a person initiating divorce is not the same as that person being at fault for the divorce right?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:53 PM
1

Can you explain how you feel women get more controlling over time? I'm not sure why you keep saying women benefit less, but women have plenty to lose in divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:52 PM

You're right, I did.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:49 PM

Huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:49 PM
1

So women have these amazing loving husbands and they just ruin it for fun?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:48 PM
1

A man loses power & control over his life to a woman with who has less to lose in the relationship 1) why does he lose power and control over his own life? He only "loses" what he willfully chooses to give up. 2) how does a woman have less to lose? If I get divorced I will lose half of what I have worked to build, half of my time with my kids, etc. How is that less?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:48 PM

So true!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 03:17 AM
1

Because one party benefits more. Who benefits more? One party has more to lose. How so? Both parties lose equally. That’s why women initiate most divorces. Initiating divorce does not equate with fault.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:55 AM
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:09 AM
1

How do partners not mutually benefit?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 12:57 AM
1

Science doesn't support that for the majority, but it can be true for some people.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 11:24 PM
1

If both men and women treat marriage as they should, and love and respect their partner, then they will both be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 11:04 PM
8

You can be sex positive and still not agree with porn. I would match rather have a fullfilling sex life irl than rely on a screen anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 10:45 PM
2

That's fine. But data states that married men are happier overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 10:44 PM
5

Good thing I don't believe that is appropriate, and I don't lie about boundaries I agree to keep. And yes I would say the same thing if that was a boundary from the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 10:41 PM
1

Well the premise on here is that women have so much more success with online dating, so figured I would share actual facts.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 10:39 PM
6

I'm extremely sex positive. Why do you need to be pro porn/erotic to be sex positive?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 10:39 PM
5

That's not true. I am very much wanting to stay married. Also here is a study on men https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/men-and-marriage-research-brief.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjSmo-G9M6EAxUTEFkFHRMMAZkQFnoECCsQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3taIEvf255D8obEENZdrUL
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 10:38 PM
6

That I'm not hypocritical?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:04 PM
4

Why would I want that?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:04 PM
7

No, its because I'm married.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:00 PM
7

No I don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:00 PM
2

The figure drops to 21% single in the age bracket of 30-40
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:00 PM
7

I'm not looking for dating options.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:56 PM
11

Nope. I'm only concerned with my own relationship, and the right to sex work isn't my objection.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:54 PM
10

Well a boundary is something she won't tolerate for herself in a relationship. So you can argue semantics all day long.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:53 PM
1

I'm not a whore, so yes. "Males were more likely to have met someone on a dating app and have it lead to an exclusive relationship (75%), compared to 66% of females." https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-statistics/
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:53 PM
10

32% of men in the US report being single, so not sure about your math.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:50 PM
11

So if a woman say porn is a boundary for her, if you don't agree to that boundary you man up and say so. You definitely don't pretend to agree and do what you are going to do anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:44 PM
4

Ok sounds good. I'm sure most men think about their SO and definitely don't watch porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:42 PM
1

If it makes you feel better to believe this be my guest.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:42 PM
12

So that is a fallacy because it eventually carries over. And are you advocating men just lie if a partner expresses a boundary and pretend to go with it?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:29 PM
10

No it isn't. Explaining why I believe porn is wrong will have zero impact, I will just be told I must be controlling and unrealistic. Having standards isn't wrong, and if you don't agree with them don't be with someone who has standards you don't believe in.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:24 PM
1

Yeah... apparently the only criteria for women is anything with a dick is an option. So the opposite has to be true as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:17 PM
26

Its simple, if you believe porn is your right, then don't date/marry someone who does not agree with it. See how easy that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:16 PM
1

A whore gets no standards remember? If its good for one its good for the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:11 PM
1

Cool. Then men can choose to be whores too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:05 PM
1

So your premise is that all women could be whores if they choose to?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:03 PM
1

Omg don't yall get tired of this argument? Maybe women are looking for a relationship, not simply sex with a man whore.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:58 PM
2

Mutual respect should be give simultaneously (presuming you mean one on one interactions). Respect must be maintained once given.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:18 PM
1

If you have a giant list of people who would have sex with you, Who in the world has a giant list of sexual partner options?!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:07 PM
1

In what way? If any woman is an option, without any standards or morals, then you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:05 PM
2

In what way? If any woman is an option, without any standards or morals, then you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:05 PM
1

I like sex more than most men, so that isn't an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 05:04 PM
5

I will never beg. I will never try to catch someone who doesn't want to be caught. I will never try to convince someone to be with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 02:18 PM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 11:51 PM
2

To have sex on tap as you call it require zero morals and zero standards. If we are eliminating all standards and all morals then both men and women have this option. No believe it or not a lot of women don't find which all consider the most attractive men attractive. I personally find arrogance as one of the biggest turn-offs and I'm not alone in that. Also as I've explained countless times attractive is subjective. Before I got married I dated everything from a guy who was an in shorter than m…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 11:09 PM
1

They literally aren't true.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 10:46 PM
1

We decided not to cut it out but to continue being careful. There isn't a substitute needed because we don't have a limited number of options.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/24 09:07 PM
1

Sure. You said zero standards and zero morality are part of the premise.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 08:01 PM
2

So as long as women are whores they have sex whenever they want? Then if we are removing standards and morality, so can men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 07:33 PM
2

So your overall premise is that if women opt to have zero standards or morals they can have as much sex as they want?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 06:20 PM
5

Then men also have this. It does require the lack of standards, disregard of diseases, and lack of concern about quality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 06:18 PM
3

It was a very long hard road, but we really do love each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 05:47 PM
4

On everyone area? Easily accessible? Can a man flip his phone and be in contat with such woman I'm sure that there is some woman that is easy in most places. Your argument is that women have access to a person with a dick, so by the same token men have access to a person with a vagina. Entirely arbitrary argument with no relation to the argument previous made. How is it no relation when it's literally the entire argument? Strawman In what way? I'm a woman, and sometimes my husband isn't in the m…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:47 PM
5

I have friends that are married to men their height, slightly taller, and some shorter. It doesn't matter to them. My husband is taller, but when we were separated I dated someone who was 4-5ish inches shorter than he was. In fact, my one teenage son was the same height, and my other son was significantly taller than he was.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:30 PM
2

The availability of any random person of the opposite sex does not represent "sex on tap." By that definition I'm sure there's homeless women who are drug addicts that men could sleep with. Does that mean that they also have sex on tap? Using the example of being willing to sleep with anybody with a dick is a false premise, and having standards doesn't mean that it is "available but we just aren't taking advantage of it." It is expressed many times in the sub that women in long-term relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:25 PM
1

Okay, again using my own experience. My family lived paycheck to paycheck, his family lived paycheck to paycheck. We married in our early twenties and both were brand new in our career fields. I want to say we were both making around $12 an hour, neither of our families had money. There was no male figure to provide backup financial stability.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:14 PM
2

I do see the passive aggressiveness, but I'm going to choose to ignore it. Yes it was for emphasis, not yelling.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:09 PM
1

Everyone (barring disabilities) has income potential. There is a huge difference between choosing a partner with a good work ethic and choosing based on earning potential bracket.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:04 PM
1

They are to show strong feelings and/or emphasis.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:03 PM
1

I'm not yelling. I simply stating that it is disturbing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:50 PM
5

Nope, sorry A for effort though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:48 PM

Despite seeing this is a false premise first hand in multiple other couples, I will only use my own situation. We both came from families living paycheck to paycheck, and we built our lives and finances up together.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:48 PM
3

Insults don't bother me, they simply demonstrate my point. Have a good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:35 PM
5

He appeared to have all the qualities I listed. I didn't learn that he was faking some of them until after we were married.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:33 PM
5

Wikipedia and okcupid aren't reputable sources lol. The majority of men aren't pigs. Just like the majority of women aren't neurotic.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:30 PM

Most women don't have a male "back up plan" for financial gain. There is a large portion of women that came from families living paycheck to paycheck, and didn't marry into money.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:20 PM

If we're speaking anecdotally, then the premise is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:15 PM
12

Burden of proof is on the person who makes statement, not the recipient. Do you have any actual reputable sources? Are you not able to answer the question?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:13 PM
10

You should be able to answer the question if it is so easy to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:05 PM
2

Be with someone you really love and who shares your standards. If sex with one person is boring, then y'all aren't doing it right.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:04 PM

That didn't answer my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:02 PM
7

Well I don't have that issue, and my libido is higher so yes women can be sexually frustrated and not have "sex on tap."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:00 PM
9

How are women picky and neurotic?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:59 PM
7

Don't really know what your point is here but women can get sex whenever they want very little effort I don't see how this is a debate. FWBs, hookups, LTRs whatever So you don't believe in LTRs men are ever not in the mood?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:54 PM

Basically around 90 % of the cases, there´s a male, male´s family or father with more resources than her. Where did you get these "statistics"?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:51 PM
9

They do, but that doesn't make their whole life a breeze. That's silly. You do know that consent is a thing right? That all men aren't down for sex 24/7 for their entire lives? That stress, life, etc get in the way for both genders? I agree with this. Naturally women can only be attracted to these men Where did you get this idea? I'm extremely attracted to my husband, but he is not what yall describe as attractive. Plenty of women feel this way about their significant others who don't match y'al…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:45 PM
14

How exactly are women's problems self inflicted and mental? Just sexually, or everything?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:43 PM
7

Correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:40 PM
12

Right 🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:40 PM
5

Long term porn addiction, excessive lying, severe avoidance.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 01:27 PM
9

He asked me to come back and try once more to reconcile, and he got serious about being honest, working on himself, practicing empathy, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 01:22 PM
13

No, there was a lot of things that happened. I finally left which was his wake up call.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 01:20 PM
9

He is now. He had some of them, but others took time.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 01:18 PM
15

The biggest things I have ever wanted are honesty, loyalty, loving, high ethical values, good work ethic, etc. Attraction is important, but attractive is subjective. Hence why different women find different things attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 01:10 PM
47

That women all have sex on tap and that makes their whole lives a breeze, all women want only the hottest, tallest, richest men, and all women are after men's money. This is the biggest echo chamber for these things that I have ever seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 12:43 PM
1

What are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 12:36 PM
0

More importantly, why are you describing people by their struggles on a regular basis?!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:44 AM
0

Why do you need easily identify someone by their struggles?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:28 AM
3

Why do you need a label? A season of struggle doesn't define someone, therefore it shouldn't be used to label them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:09 AM

What he is saying is the same as so many men up here ...you are ridiculous for expecting men to live up to sexual standards, but they are completely reasonable expecting women to. They want a woman to know they should be very sexually innocent and want to give herself to him, but also be ok with the fact that he will always direct his sexual energy towards other women on a screen no matter how she feels about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:00 AM
5

A human being.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 12:22 AM
1

You sound delightful. I have no issue being questioned, and am fine with respectful discussion. I don't accuse people and back out, and expect the same respect. Have a good night.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:58 PM
1

Then back up your premise about me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:52 PM
1

So you make false premises that you can't back up? Thats fine. I acknowledged that you are using two people total to "prove me wrong." If you feel like you "won" because of rare outliers, so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:49 PM
1

I said I have no cognitive dissonance over this topic, and you insinuated that wasn't true. Why bail on the conversation after you are asked to back up your belief?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:39 PM
1

What cognitive dissonance do you assume I have?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:33 PM
1

I have no cognitive dissonance regarding this topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:26 PM
1

I learned that there are small portion of women who are hypocritical about porn? Ok sure. You know of two, so that does support that these are the outliers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:20 PM
1

You are literally being difficult for absolutely no reason. The vast majority of women who oppose porn aren't creating porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:14 PM
1

Ok. Then the vast majority of women who morally/ethically opposed to porn aren't also creating porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:02 PM
1

So you know one woman like this, so its prevelent? I had to look up the person you mentioned...it says she called the industry practices corrupt, not that men shouldn't watch porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 10:51 PM

Comorbidities are also a significant factor, and the study was referencing flu and pneumonia. Women are also more likely to power through than men. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s15010-020-01537-x https://irp.nih.gov/blog/post/2021/09/study-explores-sex-differences-in-flu https://time.com/4489297/hillary-clinton-pneumonia-working-women/
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:18 AM
1

How much my husband earns is irrelevant, I care about his work ethic. Earning more does not mean dating/marrying down, and a good income does not necessarily require a college education.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 07:30 AM
1

Correct, which is why I literally said romantic attraction is more than just attractiveness and friendship/fun to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 03:00 AM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:16 AM

Haha in what way?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:32 AM
1

That will never be a medical reality. Healthcare workers work tirelessly to save lives, and I don't think the general public realizes the impact until it's themselves or their loved one.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:47 PM
1

I do absolutely turn the switch off. But even when I was briefly available, I didn't feel romantically attracted to the majority of these men. I truly do believe that the foundation for relationships are more than attractive and enjoyable to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:30 PM
1

1) I just said I objectively find them attractive. 2) I don't interact intentionally with those whom I don't enjoy their personality. 3) I am in a relationship, but regardless, the fact that you can have friendly interactions with attractive people is universal. 4) How many adults have a slew of deep friendships they that they are around those people most of the time?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:21 PM
1

I know many successful, high earning, very attractive men that I thoroughly enjoy talking to, yet feel nothing toward them romantically. Why is that if what you are saying is true?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:14 PM
2

You do realize you won't have chemistry with every attractive person who is fun to hang out with right?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:07 PM
1

You are asking a leading question. I was talking about value. You are talking about "value in a romantic relationship". Which is a different matter. You said a man's value is in being chosen by a woman to spread his genes. The flip side of that would be what I said. All other forms of value are social constructs. Are they though? For example (arbitrary), as a nurse I provide value in life saving interventions for my patients. Very often, my knowledge and skill can have a significant impact on pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:06 PM
2

I am being honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:01 PM

Haha I have seen how men act when they have a cold....pretty sure the human race would die out if men had to deal with pregnancy and childbirth.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:50 PM
1

I do agree with that statement fully, however I have other forms of significant value. Are you implying that my value in romantic relationships is gone?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:41 PM
1

Why should it? By this logic, in a relationship it would be impossible to interact with any attractive likable person of the opposite sex without falling for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:20 PM
13

I dont think any woman who has a problem with porn is also literally producing said porn. Part of the issue is porn changes how you respond to arousal and sex. It however is "easier" and "more exciting" so consequences be damned.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:18 PM
2

Not everyone has chemistry with each person they are around. They can genuinely like you in a platonic way and not have romantic feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:16 PM
2

So since I'm done having children you are implying that I no longer have any real value?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:15 PM
1

Why do you feel that isn't the same threshold for women?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:13 PM
4

So why would you think women would be romantically attracted to every male friend?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:05 PM
4

This is an awful way to live. I can't imagine my entire perception of value being in my relationship status.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 08:56 PM
2

Maybe you don't realize value is more than looks? Millions of honest loyal men are married and happy. So perhaps they are onto something yall don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 08:47 PM
4

Are you romantically attracted to every female you are remotely friendly with?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 08:42 PM
8

This has got to be an exhausting way to live.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 08:27 PM
4

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 03:38 PM
2

Funny, I'm the disciplinarian.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 03:20 PM
17

Or it could mean she used to be young and dumb, drink/party a lot, etc. Women aren't stupid enough to think that immediate sex keeps a man. No clue where that came from.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 02:59 PM
7

If your baby is tolerating breastfeeding and you want to do it, then continue! Weight loss is not your priority right now, neither is looking "sexy enough." If this is his typical behavior, I would strongly consider whether you and your children are safe and respond accordingly.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/24 05:02 AM
18

Respectfully, trying to kick down doors, holes in walls, and throwing an absolute screaming tantrum is not excusable. Forgivable (if genuinely sorry and correcting? Yes. But excusable no. This was also done in front of an infant and a child. There is no excuse. This man wants her to stop breastfeeding their baby to "look more attractive" which shows that he is selfish and not a worthy leader.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/24 04:43 AM
8

Plenty of dead bedrooms have zero to do with attraction but are caused by the man. Just like plenty are caused by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 10:29 PM
18

Its interesting that women are considered the cause of dead bedrooms.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 09:59 PM
10

There isn't justification to cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 09:50 PM
2

I'm also a nurse btw 😊
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/24 09:16 PM
2

It works very well for us! There have been years (or partial years) he was the sole earner, most years he earned more than me, and now I am the higher earner. There has never been resentment over who's money did what or who paid for what; our income is 100% joint income 😊
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/24 09:15 PM
1

No, I was just genuinely sympathetic to the fact that your experience has been so negative.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 05:03 PM
3

I was expressing sympathy for your situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 04:42 PM
1

Why would you think I felt threatened?!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 04:22 PM
1

Odd, that isn't anywhere in the sub info or the copious resources. I have said many many times attractive is subjective. I could personally care less about a man's money as long as he has a good work ethic.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 03:14 PM
1

Then you understand that RPW is about vetting men as effective leaders in a relationship, and understanding what feminine behaviors/attitudes men are most attracted to. It is understanding what men need to feel fullfilled in a LTR/marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 03:03 PM

You are listed his presumed deficits without knowing him or his situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:56 PM

Its odd that the men here do more bashing of other men, but the women are blamed for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:53 PM
1

Red pill women is COMPLETELY different than red pill men. And no, there isn't a height requirement within that group. That is not at all what that group is about.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:50 PM

I don't think that at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:38 PM
3

If you feel that way so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:36 PM
9

No, not gaslighting. Just saying the majority of women aren't like this, but I'm sorry you have dealt with so many who are.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 02:10 PM
10

This has got to be a sad way to live.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 01:59 PM
7

Most women?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 01:53 PM
2

Its not ok to call someone creepy just because you aren't attracted to them. Creepy isn't lack of attraction, it is a set of significantly concerning behaviors that lead to legitimate safety concerns.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 01:30 PM

Why do you feel you are striking out with women? Have you ever received any constructive criticism?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 01:23 PM
14

Both of our checks go into the same account, with the exception of a small amount that gets put into savings. We then cover everything out of that account (bill, expenses, dates, vacations, etc).
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/24 04:13 AM
1

I'm in the same situation and its so frustrating. Make up sex has always been off the table, and he shuts down if we have a disagreement. Its gotten better (he used to ignore me for days unless it was unavoidable like about the kids), but things are definitely tense for a while.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/24 06:54 PM
1

Yes I prefer men be chivalrous, or really just polite, and have raised my own sons to be that way. I think the time I saw the least amount of chivalry was when my kids were babies. I can't tell you how many times I would be struggling with two babies (sometimes a double stroller, sometimes not), diaper bag, and whatever we purchased and grown men would literally let doors close on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 12:58 PM
1

1) are you married? 2) what do you consider conflict? 3) why do you feel that two people dealing with life stressors, marriage/parenting/family challenges, compromising as two different people, etc leads to zero conflict ever as long as you love each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 12:47 AM
1

Just some food for thought... https://www.gottman.com/blog/conflict-normal-natural-part-happily-ever/ https://ifstudies.org/blog/conflict-in-marriage-does-not-need-to-be-destructive https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-lack-conflict-your-marriage-bad-sign-future-together-joree-pk
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 12:03 AM
1

Whar are you defining as a fight or argument?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 11:56 PM
1

Well if the average women is having sex with average men, logic says they aren't that far apart. How about address it like this. Right around 67% of men are married, and around 69% of women are married. Address it within that dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:48 PM
1

To a shocking extent. My husband has been balding since his late teens, was born with a visible birth defect, is about 60-70lbs overweight, wears glasses, and is covered in freckles. I find him amazingly attractive, even after all these years, and I would HAPPILY have sex with him every single day.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:42 PM
1

So overweight, balding, etc? Scaring, congenital defects, health problems, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:34 PM
1

Then explain it. You said women can have sex whenever they choose, men cannot.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:32 PM
1

So you're saying that you actually know couples who never fight? They never have conflict?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:22 PM
1

Have you ever looked around? Do you really believe that average men are all settled for or sought for money?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:17 PM
1

Ok, so IN GENERAL, married women get sex on demand and men aren't allowed to say no? Because almost 70% of the adult women in the US are married.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:16 PM
1

Just because a woman finds a man attractive doesn't mean she is a gold digger. The BS that is spewed on here is just that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:03 PM
1

Wtf dude that is not remotely ok! Should I tell my husband that since I am a woman he is no longer allowed to decline for any reason?!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:01 PM
1

Then she is a bitch. I'm sorry that has been your experience and hope you meet someone that shows you all women aren't like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:58 PM
1

You're a minor?!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:54 PM
1

You said women have a choice, men do not. In what way could that be possible unless you advocate for ignoring consent?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:46 PM
1

What is the "but"?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:42 PM
1

Wtf are you saying then? Because the only way what you say applies is if you don't believe in consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:39 PM
1

Bitterness affects attraction more than height ever could.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:26 PM
1

That sounds like a truly miserable way to live. Attraction is subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:22 PM
1

Why do you presume that any woman would be after your money?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:19 PM
1

Why do you consider settling because you cant have what you really want as healthy? Would you want a woman to not want you, but marry you for sex and a paycheck?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:19 PM
1

I hope if you ever do you change your views. Your wife (or spouse in general) should be the person you don't want to imagine life without, the person that you truly cherish. Definitely not a paycheck and a body to use.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:09 PM
1

So you are advocating for non consentual sex?!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:05 PM
1

Wow y'all's poor wives.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:04 PM
0

No thanks. I don't need pity sex or anyone's money. I would rather be alone than spend my life with a man who didn't want me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:58 PM
0

So you use them? Wtf?!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:52 PM
0

What do you mean? Why in the world would you want to spend your life with someone you really didn't want?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:42 PM
1

Conflict once or twice a year isn't even remotely realistic. If you never have conflict you either don't talk or don't spend time together.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:32 PM
1

Hard seasons happen, sometimes through no one's fault. Life will never be perfectly harmonious, no matter who you marry.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:06 PM
1

Having conflict, difficult life circumstances, or hard seasons does not in any way mean you don't love your partner and they weren't your most desired.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 01:54 PM
1

If you aren't marrying your first choice and instead settling, you shouldn't get married. No one deserves to be a consolation prize.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 01:51 PM

In the real world it is fine. Only here (and ironically most by men) is it considered bizarre.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 11:51 AM
3

I didn't say reject, I just said that it could absolutely be a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 11:51 AM
3

You are being intentionally obtuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 11:50 AM
1

You are being intentionally obtuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 11:29 AM
3

Seems like you are being intentionally obtuse. A 22 year old who hasn't had a relationship/sex is not crazy or bizarre. He is a young adult getting started in the real world. A 40 year old who has actively spent 20ish years seeking a relationship, has only had one kiss, and no relationships is concerning. See the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 11:18 AM

You conveniently skipped the part about I wouldn't give it a second thought in my 20s. You specifically asked what I would currently think, hence my answer. Do you not see the difference in a 22yo virgin and a 40yo virgin who had one kiss in his life?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 10:29 AM
2

Does that mean when people say they are truly attracted to their spouse/long term partner and they were the one they wanted more than anyone else that it isn't true?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 09:40 AM
2

I think that if that was truly the vast majority we wouldn't see so many every day average people in LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 09:31 AM
1

Idk, my taste has never been what is considered universally attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 09:24 AM
1

You simply said what you see in real life is what you go by. I presume you have to at least have some interaction to determine that women are lying in large numbers. https://www.livescience.com/13072-sex-stats-virgins-rise.html https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1054139X22003792
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 09:16 AM
1

Then perhaps you would notice the 80% of women wanting the top 10% of men is a fallacy. The other thing that seems to baffle everyone is attractive is subjective. What I find attractive another woman may not and vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 09:06 AM
1

How is that relevant?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:41 AM

I'm sorry if most women you are around aren't kind. I would definitely recommend surrounding yourself with better people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:41 AM
1

I understand you weren't referring to me specifically. However most women in the under 45 range are pretty independent, express how they really feel, etc. Hence why I don't understand why the general consensus is we can't just be being genuine.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:36 AM

So the women find it perfectly fine, but the men don't, so therefore the men are right about what women think?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:34 AM
1

I don't need to virtue signal, but I'm also not sure why it is assumed that if women are being understanding or kind that is the assumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:33 AM

Its weird, because even the comments here don't reflect that. Ironically the negative ones are mostly men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:31 AM
1

I completely disagree with you, but you aren't interested in hearing anything I say. Men on this sub understand women's experiences and views far better than women do.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:29 AM
1

So be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:25 AM
1

Ok, since I'm clearly not supposed to go by what you say, can you clear it up? 1) Do you believe any sexual experience makes a man desirable because other women wanted him, or do they care about relationships as well? 2) Do you believe that a non-virgin automatically provides better sex than a virgin?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:18 AM

I have younger teenage sons and I just can't fathom the idea of them expecting to already be sexually experienced. That is revolting to me personally. Ironically enough, the uptick in porn shows a statistical correlation with a decrease in partnered sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:16 AM
1

If you think that makes a man appealing to women then so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:13 AM
1

Ok so you feel that drunken ONS is a good indicator of options?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:08 AM

it's why male virginity is a huge insecurity even in early teens. This should absolutely be seen as a problem. f you were to go on a first date tomorrow with some guy you hardly know, everything goes great and you plan to hookup but the guy randomly tells you he's got 0 sexual experience, had 1 kiss in his life, never touched a women etc??? You wouldn't be turned off?? I would have serious reservations, but that's because I'm pushing 40. I would definitely wonder why a man my age was in that sit…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:08 AM
1

How did that answer my question? The premise here is also "any" sex makes someone good in bed. This is so false.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:59 AM

I'm just curious why potentially drunken ONS would "vet" a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:54 AM

So it's not relationships, just whether or not someone has been willing to have sex with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:49 AM

Why do y'all think we need other women to "test drive" a man to make him desirable?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:43 AM

Do you realize that in a healthy relationship, both partners will have to teach each other? A man willing to learn how to please the woman he is with is a priceless attribute. Men who think they "know" because of their experience and don't want guidance are not desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:42 AM

That is absolutely not normal or healthy. In fact, that would be a red flag for history of abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:40 AM

Why do you feel being a virgin disgusts women?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 07:06 AM

Really? I just scrolled through.... most are saying its perfectly fine! I saw one or two women say no (one was 30), but the handful of comments saying it was bad were mostly men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 06:35 AM

1) Those women are not common in the real world. 2) Even the most experienced men are usually mediocre to average until they learn your body and what you like. 3) The most experienced men are usually the worst in bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 06:30 AM

We really shouldn't normalize kids losing their virginity though. 22 and a virgin is perfectly fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 06:19 AM
1

They can be more visually attractive, but they also carry a different level of confidence, charisma, and social intuition than most men. Most real women are turned off by this perceived confidence, because more often than not it is arrogance and entitlement. If it is "boring" to them, then there must be either be a surplus of vapid women in their vicinity, and they are only into women for the thrill of pursuing sex. These guys are not going to be driven to pursue a relationship in the first plac…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 05:28 PM
1

I would just like to point out that when you start adding drugs and/or alcohol, this skews the results. Yeah, I do agree that it is absurd that they aren't honest with themselves, and know that they can't play the same cards as someone who is naturally more gifted Why are we calling the ability to f*ck multiple women and throw them away afterwards gifted? Most men will never get more sex out of multiple women as opposed to being in a relationship (or even "situationship") with one. I see a lot o…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 04:02 PM
1

Yes, the staged and filmed experiments? I have seen them. Just a thought....maybe a total stranger willing to have sex within ten seconds of meeting is not someone you actually want to be with. That sounds like someone with nothing to lose....you can gamble with your life of you want to, I'm good. How much more sex would some of these men have if 1) they didn't hate women 2) they saw women as more than a cum hole and 3) actually invested time into a relationship? Oh wait that's right, they aren'…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 03:29 PM
1

How is changing a tire related to flawed morality?
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/24 01:48 PM
4

Haha lots of older millennials can drive a stick, but I agree about younger people.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/24 01:46 PM
1

That's true. Perhaps if they actually valued a woman vs seeing her as orifices for orgasm they would have more access to sex. Just a thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 01:28 PM
1

But the whole premise is not that they are, it's that it is perceived they could. As if, for example if my husband isn't in the mood I could just walk down the street and find a willing stranger. Its so far outside of reality its insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 01:27 PM
1

Hmmm I have to think on that concept for a bit.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 03:56 PM
2

More tolerable doesnt equal easy, but sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 03:51 PM
1

Do you think he believes it's not sincere? Almost like if it's a bad day then you must be trying to trick him?
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 03:40 PM
2

Most of us have experienced hardships and difficulties in life that no amount of sex will help.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 03:34 PM
1

Thanks! What do you mean by downsides?
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/24 03:31 PM
1

Hopefully you don't learn what the rest of us already know.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 03:28 PM
2

That I am glad you have had such an easy life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 03:23 PM
5

Stop looking for the laboratory purity in everyday life. Easy difficulty is still difficulty, and you can lose even on easy difficulty. Great, then you acknowledge that women don't have access to "sex on tap." You must be very young or overall inexperienced if you think life is mostly easy as long as there is sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 03:14 PM
4

So you presume that a male partner is NEVER not in the mood for any reason? An orgasm is easy, I'm not referring to that. No. This mentality assumes that sex exists and the desire for sex exists. You can have life easy in one thing and hard in another. So how does this supposed access to sex mean women "live life on easy mode"?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 03:05 PM
3

One you assume it's easy to satisfy. You assume that no woman is ever sexually frustrated. This mentality also assumes that the only thing to life is sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 02:46 PM
14

The potential of having sex does NOT make for an easy life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 02:13 PM
7

If men as a collective woke up and said, "hey women, you have no rights now go make me a sandwich", then there is nothing women can really do about it, unless they are aided by a subsection of men. You think we would have no choice but comply?? More so, men allow women's rights and privileges. If men wanted to stay tyrannical, there wouldn't be much women could do about it. This goes down to 2 main points: Yes we can....they can be tyrannical alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 04:50 AM

Are you missing a penis?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 04:39 AM
5

Casual sex is a purely physical experience. Married sex is an all encompassing intimate experience that is much more than physical.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 04:59 PM
1

68.45% of women in the US are married. This doesn't include LTR/cohabitation. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/08/for-valentines-day-facts-about-marriage-and-dating-in-the-us/ https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-statistics/ https://www.statista.com/statistics/242030/marital-status-of-the-us-population-by-sex/
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 03:03 AM
1

What is your source?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 02:50 AM
11

Yeah I have person never seen it in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:04 PM
1

I do agree it is not a common, but I think stigma and shame keep us from realizing it is not as rare as we think.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 09:26 PM
1

I have explained it extensively. But I'm not going to convince you to see what you don't want to see, and you have already displayed dysfunctional ideology or moral values. Have a good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 08:11 PM
2

Women getting in relationships with known abuser who are not reporting rehabilitation are probably the most minute category of battered women. What I said does apply. How exactly are they tricking them into believing they have changed? People deserve the consequences of their actions No one deserves to be murdered. It is deeply disturbing that you think they do. Women that pick known abusers over incels do think that or they would choose the incel. I have seen it happen before. I will see it hap…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 08:05 PM
1

I agree. All fathers (minus abuser, unsafe, etc) need to realize that they should have an active role in their children's lives. Even now I am gone in a way that has the least impact on my kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 08:01 PM
1

Ok, I'm not sure where the disconnect is here. MOST abusers are able to hide the abuse until they feel a woman is trapped. IN THE INTERIM, they are charasmatic, loving, manipulative, etc. THEY HIDE WHO THEY ARE AND APPEAR LIKE A GREAT GUY. Incels PROUDLY DISPLAY their hatred of women from the beginning. This leads to women getting tricked by abusers. NOTE I SAID UNTIL THE ABUSER FEELS THEY ARE SAFELY TRAPPED, THEN THE ABUSE STARTS. You should really look in the mirror and do some deep self refle…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:52 PM
1

Because abuser are known for being charismatic, manipulative, etc. In no way should anyone be glad they can lure another victim. Incels, as what you have described here, wear their hatred of women proudly. Does it make more sense that way?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:40 PM
1

I never said an incel is worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:36 PM
1

When I REPLIED to your statement about dropping everything, I specifically said I could count on one hand the times (in 17yrs) with us, and I also said in extenuating circumstances. Each one of those situations were medical emergency or crisis. Only one involved me, the others were related to our kids. Still only countable on one hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:36 PM
1

Fair enough to the correction, but the abuser is the only one to blame for the abuse. I don't know what to tell you. I don't think incels who damn near hate women, spew awful beliefs about them, and don't even attempt to hide their disdain are going to have women lining up to date them. These circumstances are mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:21 PM
1

Dude this is the obtuse thing I was talking about. I HAVE AGREED WITH YOU. No need to convince because we are on the same page. I ONLY said anything about dropping everything in response to your comment referencing it
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:19 PM
3

Lol fair point 🤣 I forgot, we are all just robbing our husbands blind, and have nothing of our own we have worked for. 🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:17 PM
1

Or self induced delusion. There are people who have genuinely changed and turned their lives around from many different things. Hence why I said it is complicated. Clearly women find abusive men a better option than those incels. I said I would not be with either, so I did not assign a "better option." This is also extremely shitty, because there are an unbelievable number of cases that the abuser did keep it under wraps. Are you really blaming all abused women for their choice in partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:15 PM
2

Lol I'm gonna tell my husband he better hurry up and start packing 🤣 Although his response to most of the post in this sub is "wtf" or "you really should come out of the basement and get off the computer screen."
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:12 PM
1

Believing someone has changed also involves a decent amount of manipulation. But that is a tough situation all together. If the men on here who describe themselves as incels are what you are referring to, I don't blame women for that either. I don't find the "body count/worth argumen, maintain highest level of attraction, women are only after security and your money, women are beneath men, etc" line of thinking very appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:10 PM
0

There are circumstances that lead to mother's working for a variety of reasons. I spent the majority of the day with mine when they were little, and then they had time with their dad. They benefitted from having both parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:06 PM
1

Ok, like I said that was an abstract example. And I have already said there was misunderstanding that has been cleared up, so I'm not sure what you are reinforcing. You made a reference to being expected to drop everything if your partner needs you, to which I replied that has been an extremely rare scenario and not what I was generally referring to.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:04 PM
4

Why would they? Unless he is barely making enough to scrape by because of poor work ethic, poor management, etc it shouldn't be a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:02 PM
1

I have seen a lot in my time, but I think I would be shocked to see an adult woman out of her own free will (not coerced or forced etc) get the shit beat out of her before she knows a guys name, and still pick him to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:00 PM
2

I see actual abusers that are known abusers get relationships with more ease than the incels that remain alone You have seen actual abuser start abusing from initial meeting and advertise it well, and they still get women?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:57 PM
1

Like I said I can count on probably less than one hand where my partner needed to drop everything. There are extenuating circumstances that exist. Otherwise I see nothing wrong with what you are describing if it is mutually acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:55 PM
1

Controlling is bad, regardless of gender. Women tend to be far more willing to submit to a man who is a kind and loving leader.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:53 PM
3

You do realize that abusers don't advertise themselves as such correct? Those things are usually hidden until they feel the partner is more likely to feel trapt. I promise there are no women saying "omg I met my prince charming...he is gonna beat the shit out of me and all!"
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:52 PM
4

This comment wins 🤣🤣🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:50 PM
1

I think its because submissive took on an entirely different meaning. I'm fine submitting to my husband as long as he is being a worthy leader, and he is respecting me. I likewise must do the same. Its when the perception becomes the partners are not equal in the relationship that there is a problem, or leadership is abused for the sake of being controlling. Physical strength shouldn't allow for things to go sideways quickly, so I'm not sure about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:49 PM
1

Previously it seemed as if you were saying whatever your partner was going through would have to wait until you felt like helping them. However your last comment was in full agreement to my whole premise, so perhaps we were misunderstanding one another. There are only a few situations I can think of where a partner should put aside whatever they are going through to be there for their partner, but that definitely isn't an all the time thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:45 PM
1

I mean there are some I'm sure, but that's not what I meant. I was referring to jobs that have more available working hours to choose from.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:43 PM
1

Can you clarify what you mean please? I don't want to comment if I'm misunderstanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:42 PM
1

What do you consider putting your partners needs first as? Ironically you just described exactly what I was talking about the entire time when describing your relationship. I was not, nor do I think anyone, would advocate for a partner dropping everything to be at your beck and call. That was in no way what I was referring to. I can count on one hand the number of times I have needed my partner to drop everything for anything going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:38 PM
1

I think (at least in places like this sub) its because they are being used synonymously with control, domineering, manipulative, and apathetic. The thing is, they are none of these things and shouldn't be used to describe them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:33 PM
2

Remote work is a good option, but there are other career fields that allow flexibility as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:32 PM
2

Traits such as assertive, dominant, strong personality and boundaries. Seeing and knowing yourself as a sexual person ie you aren’t ashamed of the sexual aspect of masculinity These are all desirable traits. It beomes problematic when it is used to degrade women, see women as subservient rather than partners, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:29 PM
2

Exhibiting empathetic and sacrificial love was the point I was getting at. You were respectful, I do agree and appreciate that, but you repeatedly countered with how doing so wouldn't meet your needs, which was the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:26 PM
3

I think it is just probably a situation where you need to find a secure man truthfully.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 06:15 PM
2

No, slow to understand. You are focusing on the wrong things and finding excuses for each abstract example to avoid the underlying principle.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:14 PM
3

That isn't what it was asking though. Plenty of blue collar jobs pay very well.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 05:56 PM
2

I meant it exactly as it is defined.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:54 PM
2

You are being intentionally obtuse at this point. Have a good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:50 PM
1

Maybe so.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:15 PM
1

Ok forget touch. Lets use listening. Say you and your partner both had really bad days; your partner is really struggling and needs your support, but your way of coping is withdrawal.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:11 PM
2

It is absolutely a valid reason! But both feelings/desires can exist at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:01 PM
1

I was simply using an arbitrary example. It sounds like you are saying that if your partner puts you first then you will get back to them when you are ready.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:54 PM
1

I can absolutely deeply desire sex and want to have it while also feeling unable to be vulnerable due to specific circumstances. They are not mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:53 PM
1

Wdym?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:46 PM

No one has ever said no consent, so please do not turn it into that. The concept is that out of love, you do things to put your partner first.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:44 PM
-7

The idea is that both partners seek to meet the needs of the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:41 PM
0

We are. A deep desire ro have sex does not naturally equate with the ability to be intimate.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:40 PM
-6

I'm definitely not advocating for sex or physical intimacy when both partners don't desire it. I'm asking if your partner was there for you in a meaningful way, you would still feel gross giving them say a hug and explaining that its not personal and you still love them?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:34 PM
3

Yes, actively wanting it. I for the life of me don't understand why there is a perception that women don't have higher libidos or spontaneous sexual desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:33 PM

You would feel gross showing love to your partner in a way that is meaningful to them?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:29 PM
10

I have absolutely deeply desired sex as a woman and been unwilling due to conflict in the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:28 PM

Yes, my ability to attract male attention has made my whole life an absolute cake walk 🤯🤦‍♀️ Y'all do realize life it more than just sexual encounter to sexual encounter right?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 01:23 PM
1

Kindness should absolutely not be seen as weak, I agree. But I'm also thoroughly confused by your overall stance, as you seem to believe in opposing views simultaneously.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 01:16 PM

You are showing ignorance in thinking that brute force can trumps everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 01:01 PM
7

I'm not sure what kind of women you spend your time around, but I would evaluate that first, then your observation bias. This also didn't answer my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 12:39 PM

You could kill a woman in under a minute?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 12:30 PM

Not sure why you think women do that. But yes it does sound absolutely realistic that each one of these women have a whole army of servants fighting over who gets to do what for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:20 AM

Y'all really got to start surrounding yourself with better people. Also it sounds like you may be partaking in the drugs you were referring to, since your perception of reality is pretty skewed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:16 AM
8

I'm not needy, I can make choices without constantly seeking input, and I can take care of myself. I can handle my own responsibilities without putting more on him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:10 AM
2

In what way?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:07 AM
7

Intellect, drive, love, compassion, empathy, sex, independence and success. I love fiercely, care for him emotionally and am a safe place for him, I have a high sex drive and love to please him, and I'm intelligent, successful, and accomplished in my own right. I'm with him because I love him and don't want to do life without him, not because I'm forced to rely on him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 10:28 AM
2

Are these men you are seeing earning good incomes, just not as high as yours? Or are they earning an income that would be difficult to live off of?
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 05:25 AM
7

It sounds like he completes with romantic partners truthfully. Driven, accomplished, etc shouldn't be a threat, even if these characteristics are evident outside of work.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 04:51 AM

So in what way does that make it desirable?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:49 AM

Being a decent human being isn't being a doormat.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 12:54 AM

I'll never understand why y'all think apathetic asshole is what women like.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 12:50 AM
6

I personally don't understand this mentality. If two people in a marriage are earning good income, it takes some of the stress off. We both started from the bottom and worked our way up; he was the higher earner for over a decade, but I recently exceeded his income. It's not a big deal to him at all, and he encourages it so if anything ever happens to him, I have the means to support myself and my kids.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/24 12:39 AM
2

Because your whole purpose, as you have stated several times, is to say women alone are awful in order to worsen the overall perception of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 12:34 AM
1

Because again, PEOPLE can be awful. I don't feel the need to classify entire gender groups because that isn't logical or accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 10:02 PM
1

Well then by the same token why do you have to specify women versus men. It should be widely accepted that people can be awful regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 08:26 PM

Thank you!!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 07:18 PM
1

So your answer is to degrade women to create "equality"?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 06:54 PM
1

If you were, why would you have such disdain dor women and be so bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 04:24 PM
1

Maybe you're disdain for women is why you're so bitter and not having success in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 01:44 PM

Can you cite any reputable sources regarding intimate partner violence being 70% women abusers? I have actually studied this so I already know the correct answer, but I'm curious how you got this number.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:56 PM

What world are yall living in?! 1) Not even addressing the risk factors, but if a woman walks up to a random stranger and says "hey wanna have sex?" you think he is going to say yes?! Or is he going to think "ok this is clearly a nut job I don't want anything to do with." Its going to be the latter. 2) Even in a marriage, a woman cannot have sex whenever they want. No freaking woman has sex on demand 24/7. Yall would be a lot less bitter if you acknowledged this reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:54 PM

So a woman who isn't willing to risk pregnancy, disease, etc for a statistically expected unsatisfying sexual encounter with a complete stranger doesn't understand sexual frustration?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:50 PM
1

That makes sense, thank you.
/r/RedPillWives17/02/24 12:19 PM
1

So you have to make women seem worse so men feel better?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:01 PM
1

Or you could choose to ignore psychological perception and judge people equally.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 01:44 AM
1

I don't think you understand what balance means.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 12:02 AM
1

Why are you so bitter toward women?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 11:51 PM
2

Then you agree with my previous statement I presume.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 11:51 PM
2

Yeah it definitely is higher risk for cardiac events/stress ramifications. I think it is important to accept personality as good and be as healthy as possible within your natural abilities.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 08:39 PM
1

That unfortunately isn't at all the definitions of the personality type at all.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 08:29 PM
1

No it means that despite wanting something, she isn't the equivalent of a toddler who has zero forethought or impulse control. Weighing risks vs benefit is called maturity, not lack of desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 02:59 PM
1

Some women are. And some men are. Some PEOPLE suck.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 02:57 PM
1

Because the other day that was used by someone else as "proof" men have higher libidos. Not saying you would, just added it because of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 02:57 PM
1

In general. But not even the vast majority. Just like not even the vast majority of women are low libido. I will also add, porn, masturbation, etc doesn't automatically mean a man has a higher libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 01:41 PM
2

Great. Then call it what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 01:38 PM
2

No disrespect, but I just want to hit my head on the wall. ATTRACTION IS NOT JUST A PHYSICAL THING. I tolerated years of mistreatment, because I love my husband. Am I attracted to him? Yes. Is he anything like what yall describe as the "top 10 or 20%"? No. I will say that with the caveat that we have both now reached six figure incomes, but that does not play a role. We have been together 17 years and getting close to 16 years of marriage. When we got married we both making $12/hr, renting a tin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 01:38 PM
1

I completely agree with what he did! He's definitely a successful, hardwoking, and provides a good life for us, but he also has a humanitarian/SJW side that is certainly not type A. Why is the humanitarian/SJW side seen as not type A?
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 12:37 PM
3

I wouldn't use this sub as your reflection of society, it's overall rather toxic. Women are becoming more picky, but not the way you think. Women no longer have to tolerate bad relationships and it does lead to them holding men to a higher standard than in the past. That has nothing to do with appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 11:39 AM
1

Science explains that libido is multi-factorial, and that it is a spectrum from asexual to hypersexual. Men have a higher propensity to high libido, but the stereotype that men are always high libido and always have spontaneous desire is very damaging overall. Men and women can fall anywhere on the spectrum. Just like men and women can have spontaneous OR responsive desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 11:38 AM
2

Sorry bud, regardless of psychological perception it doesn't change the fact that there can be really shitty women AND men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 11:25 AM
1

Yes, do you?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 02:56 AM
1

You do realize libido is a spectrum correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 01:52 AM
2

?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 01:45 AM
0

This is such an exhausting take.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 12:40 AM
1

I can only speak for myself, but I only want variety with my husband. Why wouldn't you want a fullfilling sex life?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 12:40 AM
2

For what reason? No men suck?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 12:38 AM
2

Here is a question worth pondering....when did we decide that attractive, good personality, driven, etc is "settling"? When did we decide that anything less than a 10 out of 10 is not good enough?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 11:58 PM
2

Haha😂 Thanks though! This is interesting. I'd be curious if keeping the sexual relationship from being "routine" would change the dynamic?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 11:12 PM
2

Genuine curiosity! The first part is more common than you might think. Though I do believe the fetish/kink one isn't very common. I absolutely agree that both genders can be truly awful, and neither is "all bad."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 09:41 PM
1

1) Can't open without an account. 2) But, curiously, women in a relationship for 15 years were 131 percent less likely to lose interest in sex. This makes sense, given that experts have long said that the passionate stage of your relationship tends to last for the first 18 months, after which, if you're lucky, you transition into a deeper, companionate form of love down the road. And some studies have also shown that marital satisfaction (which is often closely linked to sexual satisfaction) act…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 09:24 PM
1

Citations? Not being rude I actually want to read them. But again, you did ignore the second half of my statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 08:55 PM
1

These are VERY small studies, which if you understand statistics are not overwhelming significant. Not to mention ages 18-25 with up to 9 years together is just whoa🤯 Legitimate question, let's play devil's advocate. How many men are truly invested in making sex great in a LTR? You see it on here all the time.... "Why can't she just give me 10 minutes of her day, how big of a deal is that. Is 10 to 15 minutes really too much to ask to meet your husband's needs?"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 08:40 PM
3

Yeah, I don't have to like shitty people. I will still be respectful, care for them, etc. but I am under no obligation to like them. Wtf?! I mean honestly?! Because women don't desire intensely disappointing sex and not even getting off, then they must not like sex at all?!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:53 PM
1

Have you ever considered that you are attracting like minded women?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:49 PM
1

Your level of bitterness projects it rather effectively.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:47 PM

I can like people with high morals and still like people. But I was actually referring to higher quality sex. Most women aren't interested in disappointing sex, no matter how high their libido or desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:46 PM
1

Wow. I can't fathom why women aren't interested in men like you 🤢
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:45 PM
2

https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-statistics/ Are you saying the majority of men aren't? If you consider the meaning of average, 32% of men and 28% of women being single means that a LOT of average people are in relationships. Have you ever considered why "average" is seen as negative?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:44 PM
1

Not even a little bit! I had the opportunity to sleep with plenty of "Chads." I was literally less than interested. That is not the type of guy I'm into. I was with someone very "average" while I was separated, but I found him attractive. He was 4-5 inches shorter than my husband (one of my kids was almost as tall as him and the other was about 4in taller than him), he was overweight, a few years older than me, a divorced dad, and made half of what my husband (and I myself) did. My husband (now …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:33 PM
1

If it was you who down voted my responses, would you be willing to explain why?
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 06:25 PM
1

Betraying your spouse in the most intimate way is not a "bump in the road."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:14 PM
2

Some women do suck. Just like some men suck. Its not across the board.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:11 PM
2

Why would you even want to be with a woman when you believe all women are awful?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 05:48 PM
1

So the majority of women are "below average"?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 05:47 PM
2

This sounds like a miserable way to live. Have you ever questioned how you see average guys in happy LTRs?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 05:17 PM

What in the world do you even mean? There are no women in their 20s who like gaming and aren't fat?!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 05:05 PM

1) What kind of women are you looking for? What type of women are the studies about? Why does real life not mimic these results? 2) I happily chose an "average" guy. I had men 5-15 years younger, 6 packs, etc reaching out, and I was completely off put by them. And I prefer "geeks." 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:50 PM
1

So yeah, you don't understand statistics. This mindset and lack of understanding actually help understand why the men in this sub are the way they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:15 PM

It's really got to be miserable living like this...why keep doing it? Women get fucked by a top tier guy once or twice and then they think they deserve only this level of guy lol the other side of the coins is the simps with low self respect who actually feed those women's egos and make the situation even worse. 1) "Top tier" shows the level of ignorance. Mens perception of other men who are top tier are not what most women want. And just fyi...the more "top tier" a man thinks he is, 95% of the …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:11 PM

Maybe some women are, but this isn't even most women. Lesbian porn is to appeal to men who fantasize about having two women at once. Not always, but the vast majority of the time. I think men may be watching too much porn if they think women are all sitting in each others laps, resting their heads in their friends' cleavage, and cuddling together. Perhaps you are confused acknowledging someone is attractive with sexual arousal? I can acknowledge another woman is attractive and still feel repulse…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:08 PM
1

So how many women do you feel it takes to attribute this to at least 1/3 of the female population?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:04 PM
1

I presume you don't understand statistics then? Are you saying that every woman told you that bigger is better? And that your "sample size" is enough to apply this view to the entire female population?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 03:22 PM
1

Yeah I think anybody who's been an adult for longer than 5 seconds understands that every time you walk out of the house people aren't throwing themselves at you, no matter how attractive you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 03:19 PM
1

Men and women both fall anywhere on the spectrum of libido. How pray tell are you controlling for relationship and sexual satisfaction? Or for kids? Because exhaustion doesn't equal low libido. You don't have to desire random meaningless interactions or one-sided sex to truly enjoy sex. Men stereotypically enjoy this kind of interaction because it requires no vulnerability and it's easy to come by. It requires no work or effort on their part. Women stereotypically aren't into this, and would rat…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 03:18 PM
1

Because in day-to-day life you shouldn't have people falling all over you unless you're doing something to make them think you are open to it. Someone who is truly faithful both carries themselves in a way to show they are not open to it, or immediately shut it down if it happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 03:13 PM

They aren't as rare as you think. Most of the time when desire decreases in a long-term relationship, it is a reflection of other issues in the relationship not sex. Not to say that there aren't times where the quality of sex is just not good. The only thing your "evidence" points to is that men are willing to have low quality interactions that involve little to no emotional involvement. Which is why you can't comprehend why a woman would want both.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 03:08 PM

If you love someone don't make a promise to be monogamous if you don't mean it. Stay single. The whole premise behind what you're saying is that you get to go out and have your fun and still have a wife waiting at home to take care of all of your other needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:58 PM

Maybe you only like higher quality 😂🤯
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:54 PM

Why is the concept of wanting to have sex with someone in a relationship so foreign? Why does it mean that a woman couldn't possibly enjoy sex if that's what she wants?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:50 PM

So women can only like sex if they're willing to screw anyone with a dick?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:47 PM

There's no winning. If a woman has sex with strangers, she's "low value" and a whore. If she doesn't have sex with random strangers she must hate sex. If she likes sex in the context of a relationship, then she's just settling to get money or security. If her desire to have sex drops off because her needs aren't getting met, then she lied and pulled a bait and switch. If her libido is lower than her man's, then she's not meeting his needs and fulfilling her part of the relationship. If her libid…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:43 PM

How exactly did you come to this conclusion?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:39 PM

Y'all have got to get tired of this argument at some point. A woman not wanting to have sex with a stranger doesn't mean that women don't want sex as much as men. There are many many women with high libidos, but context matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:38 PM
3

If you're engaging in this much attention there's something you're doing that is making yourself appear open to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:36 PM
15

Then don't enter on monogamous relationship. See, problem solved.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:36 PM
1

There is plenty of data. It is not something widely discussed because both partners feel shame.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:05 PM
1

You do realize only men are obsessed with size right? Women fixated on "bigger is always better" are uncommon.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:03 PM
7

My money is on porn addiction. He seems very content and unconcerned, and I would think if it was potentially low testosterone it would be causing him distress. I honestly can't think of how in the world a woman could let herself go enough to even consider that, especially since she said it has always been this way.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 02:00 PM
11

Treating someone with respect is treating them as an equal. I'm married, so a bit different, but all of our money goes into the same account, so we both contribute everything to the household expenses and recreational activities. Edited to add: I'm not a "feminist" per se, I just believe men and women are equal, both bring equal value to the relationship, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:01 AM
6

women prefer a man who is invested in a relationship, committed to them, and willing to provide and protect them. Women also want men who are chivalrous — who pay for dates and open doors for them. As a woman I absolutely want this. I don't know if this is some weird "wanting your cake and eating it too" type shit; or maybe "trad for thee but not for me", or just that women legitimately don't know what they want. Feminists have been feminizing men (or trying to feminize men) for as long as they'…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 05:24 AM
1

women prefer a man who is invested in a relationship, committed to them, and willing to provide and protect them. Women also want men who are chivalrous — who pay for dates and open doors for them Yes, I absolutely want this.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 05:20 AM
0

Some of the issues we are working through in our marriage that led us to separate and plan for a divorce. His recovery, how he feels about things, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 03:57 AM
0

There is some of it that is more serious, so that advice does help. On the more serious stuff I immediately catch issues and am quick to point them out rather than gathering myself so I can be respectful and calmer. Because I am quick thinking, a problem solver, and a strong advocate, I immediately jump straight to addressing, and feel anger ovwr omissions.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 03:01 AM
1

Yeah omissions to avoid arguments. Now I do want to give credit, because this is something he is truly working on, but he is extremely avoidant (but progressing on changing), so its hard for him, but some of the things need to be discussed.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 02:58 AM
2

Thank you for this, it is really helpful!
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 01:30 AM
1

Yeah, that is why I definitely need help with the quick thinking, but slower speaking for sure.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/24 12:59 AM
2

That makes sense. I know in day to day, I need to slow down and think about responses, because I'm more likely to mistake his meaning or respond to his irritability with sarcasm. Someone suggested "taking a pause" which I really like. The strategy debate resonates, because part of what he does like (in the right context) is my strong will, intelligence, and unwillingness to back down for what is right.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 11:17 PM
2

We are actually married, but those seem to be qualities that RPW recommends are left outside the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:52 PM
1

Thank you!! This actually makes a lot of sense and seems doable!
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:47 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:36 PM
2

We aren't at the point where he is taking the lead, so I was more just talking about in day to day interactions if that makes sense.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:36 PM
1

I was more talking in the day to day interactions....we are working on him taking the lead, but we aren't there yet. I will go back and look at it again. I'm trying to apply some but not all of the principles, but I'm doing it a little bit differently than some of the recommendations because my husband and I have been talking about what things he wants, which principles fit our dynamic, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:35 PM
1

Its not so much yet with letting him lead (we are there yet), but more just in general conversation, areas that upset me, feeling like there may be omissions, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:26 PM
3

Because I am very accustomed to thinking quickly, having solutions, problem solving, etc. These skills and being willing to advocate for myself and others are absolutely necessary at my job.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/24 10:23 PM
1

I told him today I'll give him oral whenever he wants, and he can even decide if he still wants it during active outbreaks. This is absolutely something to be aware of going forward, too, that your "but I mean well" can be disguising more behavior that's infantilizing toward him. I'm dealing with severe depression already (yes treated, no I have no urge to hurt myself). I don't think I will be able to handle it if I give it to him, but I guess that is just part of making sacrifices for your spou…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 08:56 PM
2

Yes. Its because he lost a lot of sensation through his addiction.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 07:00 PM
1

Thank you so very much for understanding....you really have no idea how much it means to me 💕
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 06:03 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 06:02 PM
2

25+ year porn addiction and severe avoidance. His addiction led to him completely rejecting me, compulsively lying, manipulation, and emotional abuse. Yeah when I talk about my life, childhood, etc I've had several counselors just look at me with their jaws hanging open. I've always just kind of seen it as it is what it is and it happened. Thank you so much for these resources I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:56 PM
1

Thank you💕 I think I just feel so hurt when people assume what the issues were and that they were all related to me. I have never not loved my husband.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:49 PM
1

Hey u/pearlsandstilletos, the comment I just replied to here would be a great example of what we were just talking about.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:37 PM
0

What do you gain by being a hateful person? I am extremely attracted to my husband. One of the biggest issues in our relationship is that I want sex WITH HIM too much and that bothers him. I separated from my husband after a decade and a half of his porn addiction, lying, manipulation, and emotional abuse. I did not seek out a bad boy. I sought out a relationship. I cannot help that he (the other guy) was a narcissistic asshole who pretended to be someone he wasn't. You might want to read more c…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:35 PM
1

I need to see how much it will cost out of pocket because insurance won't cover it. Someone to say “ it’s unfair for you not to trust him when he says he’s willing to risk this”. And a venue to work through your trepidation and be reassured. Unfortunately I know this is true. I know that his willingness to try again despite me being with someone else and having an STD basically negates the previous years of our marriage. I know that because of that I should get over the past, but there's reminde…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:28 PM
1

You need someone to work through this with. If the wait is 9 months find someone else That is one of the shortest waits in our area. I got bumped up on the list for already being a client. Sadly the adult counseling waits pale in comparison to the pediatric ones around here. If you’re afraid he’s going to leave you when he’s assured you he’s not you still need marriage counseling. Are the issues that drove the separation resolved? I'm not necessarily afraid he will leave me, I'm afraid he will e…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:12 PM
1

Yeah its a vicious cycle. I was in counseling and am on a wait list to start again... I really really need it.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:09 PM
1

Thank you, I didn't realize that!
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:07 PM
2

Yeah it was that as well as other things (lies, manipulation, etc). I do know he is genuinely trying to change. I'm hopeful he will, but they said it would be unlikely given the duration, his age, etc and that most likely what he has back now is pretty close to what he will have long term. I'm so going to use the poop emoji from now on... I so needed that laugh today, so thank you 😂
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:06 PM
1

I had an IUD during the first four years of stopping my period....I didn't bleed, but everything else was absolutely awful. The remaining years I was on BC and skipping placebos. I have shared my fears...he just says even if he gets it and has a more severe case, he would never feel differently toward me. He is in counseling. I was, but my counselor moved (she was great!) so now I'm on a wait list, but its 6-9 months long. We did marriage counseling prior to the separation, but we were nicely di…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 05:03 PM
2

Thank you....I don't think they realize how devestating it is to hear those things and doubt yourself on top of everything else. We already know the cause...just over a two and a half decade porn addiction. He masturbated in a damn near violent manner (death grip, super hard, super fast, zero lube), so even though he is in recovery now (almost a year and a half), he has some sensation back, but still a major overall loss.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 04:59 PM
1

I guess I never saw the fact that it causes me distress at the idea of giving him a permanent non-curable illness as an atrocious infantilization. Especially considering I want to save him the pain that I've experienced. By submission I meant he is willing, and I don't want to inflict permanent pain and illness on him. To me that doesn't seem selfish but I can try to reevaluate. I actually love giving him oral, so the idea of not doing it anymore severely bothers me. It is not my preference that…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 04:47 PM
1

Wow that is amazing, I'm so glad you fought so hard for him! Its sad that you have to fight so hard isn't it 😔 I genuinely feel sorry for people who aren't in the medical field and don't know better! Getting multiple opinions is how I finally got diagnosed with my chronic illness. I have been told by multiple doctors for over a decade that it was only anxiety and depression.... while I have anxiety and depression that wasn't what it was. I have seen two of the nation's top specialist and they we…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 04:43 PM
1

Thank you. I have received many many hateful messages unfortunately talking about what a horrible person I am. And even on the sub there have been women that advised I get divorced because I'm no longer worthy of him. I definitely relate to the grieving of what my life is now. My first outbreak was absolutely horrific. It's the sickest I've been in my entire life and I almost ended up in the hospital. Now with outbreaks I desperately worry about hiding them; I'm fortunate that at least at work t…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 04:28 PM
1

I did talk to a nephrologist, and they made the same recommendation....better to see if daily suppression is needed. However if my cycles do regulate and continue to be a trigger, I might ask the implications of doing a week of acyclovir prior to when I am supposed to start. Prior to being on birth control, my periods were never completely regular but I always had one every month if that makes sense. So I'm making sure to meticulously track everything. I'm very fortunate because our insurance al…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 04:25 PM
1

Yeah, it just hard knowing that is our reality now, especially considering why.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 04:11 PM
1

Creatinine is 1.11, but GFR is 55. ALT 78 (down from 101). I have orders to get new labs drawn, but I ended up having my first outbreak. I was going to go back in the next week or two but now I have a recurrence. So hopefully in the next few weeks I'll be able to get my lab drawn.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 04:10 PM
1

Not necessarily a contraindication, they just don't want to add an unnecessary medication. A couple years ago I was negligently given antibiotics that were contraindicated.... multiple ones simultaneously, and for way too long. My renal and liver function are slightly impaired now because they never recovered.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 04:00 PM
1

Because if I were enough he would be able to fully enjoy sex. The sad part is I know I'm not "loose" and I'm definitely not boring, but here we are.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 03:58 PM
2

Because he can no longer feel good enough from sex to orgasm.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 03:52 PM
1

They don't feel I have met criteria to see them yet, as I was diagnosed in December and this was the first (and relatively mild) outbreak.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 03:26 PM
1

I'll ask again (already talked to two drs, and they are mostly hesitant because of my other illnesses/meds). I guess technically I could buy them online, though that isn't preferable, but if it saves my marriage I guess its best.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 03:18 PM
1

I find it hard to believe he will be ok with it it if its anything like mine. We already don't have sex very often, and pain plus another barrier probably won't be ideal. Idk its just a lot.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 03:08 PM
1

I think my biggest fear is that he is only taking the risk because its the only form of sex that fullfills him, and that if he contracts it (unless asymptomatic) it will end the relationship anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 03:05 PM
1

Sorry, no. They don't want to do daily suppression until they know for sure. My initial infection they had to put me on the absolute max dosing because I almost ended up hospitalized. The outbreak dosing is also high.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 02:58 PM
1

I was given antivirals with both the initial outbreak and the recurrence. I'm not sure what you mean?
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 02:55 PM
4

I'm also a nurse. They want to wait and see how often and how severe outbreaks are before they do chronic suppression. I also have a chronic illness I take multiple other medications for, and they want to avoid unnecessary medications if possible. I do have acyclovir for outbreaks.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 02:43 PM
1

Thanks. I have been building up my immune system, taking supplements, etc but it looks like my period is a trigger...fml. Yeah my husband has HSV-1 and has his whole life, but I have never gotten it.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 02:04 PM
2

You said it yourself- it’s about the intimacy of being brought to orgasm by your partner. That’s a super important part of relationships for a lot of people. Yeah. It just hurts me to the core to know I'm not enough. To know that the real thing only serves as a disappointment. I guess you are right, and I should realize oral is a deal breaker in the relationship, and just let him make his own choices.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 01:41 PM
1

I'm just worried he is only focusing on not wanting to lose oral, since actually sex doesn't really do much for him. I know he won't feel like we are very intimate if we just have penatrative sex. I let it go out of my mind some and just enjoyed what we were doing, which I think is part of my guilt. I know how it completely changed my life and how severely it impacted me. I hope he really is considering the ramifications, but I also see your point about letting him make his own decisions. I just…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 01:24 PM
3

He won't use a condom for oral because he can't orgasm if he does. Its a really frustrating situation, and honestly it just highlights how inadequate I feel. This is only the first recurrence. I can't say for certain yet, but it seems the treatment worked. At the very first sign I started abreva and acyclovir, and only ended up with one cluster of blisters that appear to now be in the healing stage (its day 5). It seems that my period was the trigger because I had a sore that morning and started…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 01:15 PM
4

I was diagnosed in December, and given an antiviral for the initial infection, and a back up for any recurrence. They said they prefer to see how often and severe outbreaks are before they do chronic suppression, that way they don't medicate unnecessarily (and I have a chronic illness I already take meds for). If your relationship is in a fragile place, withholding sex may make things worse, and continue to draw attention to your behaviors during separation (which may sting for him). Yeah this i…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/24 01:01 PM
1

If he is asking for your assistance, it means he is being vulnerable and expressing his needs, just as you did when you communicated your own needs to him. What do you mean asking for my assistance? Refusing to support him in this moment will only set you both back, closing him off and making him feel alone, ultimately causing him to stop trying. Now is the ideal time to extend empathy How do you feel that I am refusing to support him? Take a step back, be the bigger person, and bravely tackle t…
/r/RedPillWives12/02/24 10:08 PM
1

Feel free to provide sources demonstrating that women negligibly participate in career fields necessary to society.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 11:03 AM
1

You do realize that women work in all of those fields as well, correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 10:45 AM
1

How much of it was built by women? I'm a nurse, which is a female dominated field that literally keeps people alive. You could make a pretty decent argument that there are plenty of ways men enjoy their lifestyle because of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 10:05 AM

Absolutely. Not saying I could win a fist fight with a man but I'm definitely no delicate flower waiting to be protected.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 05:56 AM
1

How exactly is my lifestyle only possible because of men?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 04:18 AM
1

I'm genuinely sad that so many men have bought into such a lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 02:35 AM
1

You do what you are comfortable with. I'm not okay with being the best logistical choice but ultimately unwanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 02:11 AM
1

Best available has nothing to do with desired or undesired. Best available gets picked wether desired or undesired because all other options are worse. Short of arranged marriages, idk of any women who marry someone they don't like or want for the sake of a checklist of benefits. Seeing women around me and being aware that there is always a better man out there. Yes. Best woman available still gets picked even if the man can imagine a better woman. Maybe men have this perception because that's h…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 01:43 AM
1

I don't care about it. If I am the best available option then I will be picked whether I am desired or not. So the end result is the same. I'm not sure you understand how best doesn't equal undesired. Because women can always imagine someone better. Because there is always someone better than you out there. I'm not sure where this perception is coming from. And just as devil's advocate, aren't men typically very vocal with the fact they fantasize about having women better than their partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 01:21 AM
1

If you mean what you say, why can't you back it with actions?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:33 PM
1

Settling is accepting less than you desire. Why do you not feel that someone is a choice because they are genuinely desired? Why do you feel that best option doesn't mean that someone feels that their partner is so amazing they can't imagine being with anyone else?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:08 PM
1

You make a really good thing sound like a settle.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:16 PM
3

Like I said, not a hard and fast rule. But if it were all environment you would see more consistency.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:51 PM
4

You sound extremely young and naive. Here are just a handful of statistics in the US: -Each year, approximately 15,780 children between the ages of birth and 19 years of age are diagnosed with cancer. -3.6 million cases of child abuse are reported every year in the U.S. -There are about 3.2 million paternal, maternal, or double orphans in the US. -About 1 in 8 children (8.7 million) aged 17 or younger lived in households with at least one parent who had a past year substance use disorder. -A tot…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:30 PM
4

Not as a hard and fast rule, but I think being girly or tom-boyish is more intrinsic than environmental personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:21 PM
7

1) Mental illness and loneliness are two very separate issues. One can exacerbate the other, but they are still separate. 2) Does a relatively decent life up until the age of 40 mean that you have experienced more pain that a 13 year old who has been molested for years? What about a child who is physically/emotionally abused? Homeless orphans? What about kids with cancer? Does your age give you rights that they don't have simply based on longevity? 3) Even in the realm of loneliness, you don't k…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:16 PM
8

You are trolling right? Like I'm genuinely not even being rude, I'm really hoping you are...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 03:57 PM
11

That's a pretty decent assumption though. How do you know you've experienced more life? What makes you think that some kids haven't experienced more than you have? Or that you even know their experiences?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 03:48 PM
14

If you feel it is tolerable as a teen, why isn't it tolerable at 25? 40? Etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 03:37 PM
26

A better question would be why do you feel you have to be a certain age to experience mental illness?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 03:31 PM
2

So is your premise men want women intrinsically but women want men for gain?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 02:59 PM
2

People are born and raised by single moms all the time, Sure they may not fair as well as the 2 parent peers This statement reinforces my stance. The women in this cohort are also primed to go the single mother route. Unless a man is a deadbeat, abuser, etc the end of a relationship is not mutually exclusive with the end of being in their child/children's lives. That makes them more likely to want it The power of suggestion does not make you want something you don't actually desire. Back when mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 02:44 PM
8

Omg 😂🤦‍♀️ Kind of makes you wonder why these men are so bitter they can't be with such horrible women lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 02:00 PM
7

They aren't mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 12:05 PM
1

I have now posted four studies. You can choose to believe evidence or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 12:04 PM
6

Please reread choice to commit, and also consider what commitment means.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:57 AM
1

I don't think you read all of it, but here is more data. Currently statistics in the US list 22-23% of women as single. 68.45% of women in the US are married. This doesn't include LTR/cohabitation. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/08/for-valentines-day-facts-about-marriage-and-dating-in-the-us/ https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-statistics/ https://www.statista.com/statistics/242030/marital-status-of-the-us-population-by-sex/
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:34 AM
2

That is unreasonable then. The talking stage shouldn't be that long, and exclusivity should be just that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:24 AM
7

Why do you feel that women choosing to be in a relationship means they can't be happy single?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:23 AM
2

Likewise, and thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:15 AM
1

I'm legit not trying to be difficult, but wouldn't that be ideal? Why not do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:09 AM
7

Yes, because you are essentially "putting your money where your mouth is" (using the phrase/premise only, NOT referring to finances). You are saying that you are so sincere in your commitment that you are willing to make it extremely difficult to ever back out of. A verbal agreements means if you wake up tomorrow and feel some kind of way the opportunity to walk away hassle free is openly available. Leaving that availability open causes reasonable doubt in the level of commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:08 AM
1

Why do you feel a talking stage is detrimental?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:05 AM
2

I see. I agree that this would be more fringe than majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 11:05 AM
2

Then I apologize for misunderstanding. What did you mean by clarifying the types of relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:47 AM
14

By choice can absolutely mean loving someone and making a commitment to do life with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:43 AM
1

Well yes. Why pray tell would you have a relationship with someone you share no communication or intimacy with? You asked for a source stating the vast majority of women choose relationships, and that is what you are given. Why would you criticize a woman for wanting compatibility, emotional connection, etc in a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:37 AM
2

because the current relationship meta is that parenthood is hard, and that a child needs both parents. This is developmentally and psychologically accurate. Love is still being sold on the big screen and valentines day is still a multibillion dollar event. Yes. However that doesn't make women mindless beings who must follow what they are told. But as we balkanise further on gender lines, with women refusing to deflate their standards of men and justifying those standards by the cost of pregnancy…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:35 AM
1

https://ifstudies.org/blog/putting-things-in-order-relationship-sequencing-preferences-of-american-women
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:22 AM
7

Why do you believe women do what they don't want to do if they have the means not to? Doesn't the fact that women are willing to leave unhealthy marriages defy that premise?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:12 AM
1

Statistically the vast majority chose relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:11 AM
1

We can, but I'm genuinely asking how it could be correct if 1) OPs stand is "If women could do life without men, they would and relationships would die out and 2) Women can do life without men, yet they continue to have LTR by choice. These are opposing statements.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:07 AM
2

So then the OPs premise doesn't hold.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:00 AM
8

Are these behaviors you want to continue? I ask since you are speaking in present vs past tense. Why would you want to be with someone you aren't attracted to and who you have to convince yourself is the "smart" choice?
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 09:41 AM
1

So then why is there such a high percentage of women still in LTR?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 09:37 AM
2

But again, many women work and make enough to support themselves/their kids. If emotional connection is a reason, then OPs premise doesn't stand.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 09:27 AM
5

They are referring to "in the future" if things keep moving in the direction they are. If that was the case, why are they not now? Many women are more than capable of doing it on their own, so why would they chose to intentionally be with a man if the OPs premise is correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 09:21 AM
9

Why do you feel women are unable to function well without a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 08:27 AM
12

Plenty of women can do it on their own. They need the man they are with to prove they are worthy of trust. Just like any human being needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 07:34 AM
45

Having a career doesn't negate the value women place on marriage/children. I don't need my husband, I want to be with him. Why would you want someone who is "stuck" with you, not someone who wants to do life with you by choice?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 07:16 AM
1

Men with integrity don't do all of that (lusting, etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 03:37 AM
1

I think far more men want monogamy than is realized.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 11:17 PM

Exactly what I said. People appear don't want to hear logic they just want their beliefs validated regardless of how inaccurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 02:41 PM
1

But I think that many men measure success by what the most successful men are accomplishing, not average married guys like me. And when they know men who are attractive jerks who are sexually successful, it makes them think that this is what they need to become - not some guy who is content in a loving relationship with just one good woman. Wth?! This just makes me feel sorry for your wife. You talk like "one good woman" can't measure up to multiple easy women. What exactly is success? Drunken O…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 02:39 PM

Yeah... who needs logic. Better to perpetuate myths and bitterness.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 02:28 PM
1

Some women do have sex with attractive, charismatic men who are ultimately jerks. Even I've seen this at parties. At parties, it is a hook-up or ONS. Personality really isn't relative. It's difficult to alter one's perception based upon what one has actually seen. Have you never seen a couple that is happy together in a LTR? The problem is when this kind of behavior is generalized to "all women", Agreed. I'll also add the caveat that most of the time the things we do when we're young and dumb Is…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 02:26 PM

On the Internet, sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 02:19 PM

Ridiculous isn't it? The most intriguing part to me is that they are bitter at the world because they aren't with these "horrible, manipulative, power/money hungry excuses of human existence."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:59 PM

And what power does being slightly more or less attractive bring exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:56 PM

What if he is? Attraction is subjective?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:51 PM

Maybe (crazy I know) we see him as what we are truly attracted to, even if someone else "perceives" him as less attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:36 PM
1

You ok?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 03:26 AM
1

You are entitled to your opinion, but you don't speak for even the majority of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:05 AM
1

Its a shame they don't modify their thoughts/behaviors with reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 12:07 AM
1

That is your perception. Are you a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 12:01 AM
1

Please cite any reputable source on women only rewarding toxic men with sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 10:16 PM
-2

Imho the right man will not define you by this, and will understand who you were is not necessarily who you are now.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 07:39 PM
0

Hence why I said seek out ONS. There are men and women who prefer that. Statistics however refutes this narrative. Men are statistically happy in marriage. https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-is-happiest-married-mothers-and-fathers-per-the-latest-general-social-survey#:~:text=By%20contrast%20unmarried%20childless%20men,compared%20to%20their%20unmarried%20peers. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2003/03/married-happy https://www.foxnews.com/media/good-marriage-number-one-predictor-happiness-men-…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 07:22 PM
-1

Then they aren't mature enough to be looking for anything more than a ONS. Women want real men, not men with the mindset of teenage boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 06:36 PM
2

Good qualities win hands down, 1000x over.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 06:05 PM
2

Even at that, the first one is still not going to be the woman magnet that people on this sub thinks he would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:45 PM
-4

To each their own. However, it might be worth noted those men are usually in better LTR. You may not have sex at 15, have a forever partner at 17, or have slept with 50+ women, but those things shouldn't be the goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:25 PM
2

High quality on Reddit: 6'4+, 100k+ income, 12% body fat with ripped muscles. High quality in real life: Honest, kind, loving, ethical, and hard-working. See the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 04:45 PM
1

So the average woman has been approached by at least one guy in her lifetime, but the average guy has never had even one woman show interest?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 03:01 PM
11

Women wanting more than just a hookup doesn't mean they don't "share his libidinal or don't get aroused easily."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 03:00 PM
7

I will start off with the fact that I am working on adopting some but not all RPW principles. However this feels very concerning that you can't speak to or smile at a man without accusations of cheating/flirting, etc. Being friendly is not the same thing at all. I see nothing wrong with explaining that no you did not flirt prior to validating his feelings. Also, (and I don't mean this to defy RPW principles), but having a mature conversation and having feelings validated is a lot more likely wit…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 12:29 PM
1

Agreed. Most things are for a season.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 10:38 PM
1

But what I'm saying is despite how HARD something can be it can be done Important to admit I was still working, had another kid, a house, family, etc. and treatments were over an hour away one way, plus traffic. Now add crushing depression, and an injury that I had that I needed surgery for. My point is, its not always cut and dry. Some seasons of life you survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 10:13 PM
1

Cool. Well I guess gaining weight and not working out while having a kid with cancer was lack of discipline. I will absolutely give you the fact that it was lack of focus, because that was not the priority. Not to mention, deep depression is a bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 09:35 PM
1

So nothing would stop anyone?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 09:12 PM
1

You think so? You don't think life gets in the way?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 08:46 PM
1

I need to lose about twenty lbs, and it hasn't deterred any attention. It's doable most people don't got the fire to pull it off inside them for whatever reason. Sometimes life gets in the way. You have no idea what anyone's circumstances are.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 08:34 PM
1

This is so delusional it's sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 07:43 PM
1

If you think a body can override personality then you are delusional.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 07:36 PM
1

The vast majority of women are not like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 07:30 PM
1

Maybe one day all these men will realize that their perception of women may be part of the reason why they are as bitter as they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 07:29 PM
1

Not even close.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 07:26 PM
1

That's just it. You can have that and it doesn't mean that you have to marry somebody wealthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 07:20 PM
1

Doesn't change the fact. But again, quality time mean far more to me. I'll also say this, arrogance is a massive turn off for me as it is for most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 04:05 PM
1

Multiple reasons. One, the rate of infidelity is extremely high. Two, quality time is far more important to me than money.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 04:02 PM
1

Nope. I don't have mental hangups nor specific niche. I'm just not shallow. And again beauty or attractiveness is subjective. I'll give you a really good example. I work in the medical field... While I was separated guess what career field was an automatic hard stop for a potential dating partner? Doctors. Regardless of what they look like regardless of how nice they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 03:39 PM
1

Wow, yall really need to interact with more women irl. The man you are describing wouldn't even hit my radar if I was available.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 03:33 PM
1

But what exactly does that mean to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 03:17 PM
2

I used online dating one time, during my separation. It definitely blew the narrative on here to pieces because the guy I ended up dating was about 4 -5 inches shorter than my husband, overweight, and made half his income. I had guys that are the "type" yall describe reach out. Just like I had guys 10-15 years younger than me reach out. I wanted nothing to do with those men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 03:16 PM
1

What men in this sub consider an amazing catch is typically very incongruent with what women actually consider an amazing catch.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 03:03 PM
1

Please explain what you mean by high value. I have literally never felt the need to fall all over myself because a man is fit. So maybe I'm not understanding what all you're saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 02:58 PM
2

You should really meet more women. I personally will never fight for a man. If he wants to make me feel like his perception of another woman being better will make him leave, then she can have him. I don't know too many women who will stay in perpetual competition to keep a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 02:48 PM
2

How many women have you actually interacted with irl? No woman feels lucky to have a man who "exerts passive dread."
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 02:33 PM
3

I think knowing your limitations is a huge factor. Kids are a huge emotional investment even more so than financial, and its important to know how much of yourself you have to give. The number of children I had would have been the same whether SAHM or working.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 01:10 PM
4

How exactly would he know how long it had been there? If he were potentially dangerous the bag could have been packed a week or two out for a planned escape that had been orchestrated to keep her as safe as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 12:28 PM
2

What was the purpose of the "go bag"? Was it for work? Was she prepping to leave due to abuse? There are way to many unknowns, but I have never heard of anyone having a go bag because they might leave a happy marriage at some undisclosed time. Prenup wasn't even an issue when we got married because we started at the bottom and build our life together. You shouldn't be with someone that you need to ask for a paternity test from.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 12:24 PM
1

Interesting that I get down voted when I don't match the narrative everyone wants to believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 12:06 PM
2

Sorry I'm just speaking in generalities, not about myself specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 07:46 PM
2

To be fair, how could a woman do that if I man has all these beliefs he bought into about why women are lower value, only want money, etc etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 06:58 PM
2

I know I am worth far more and it is well demonstrated. But I'm not rare. There are a lot of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 06:18 PM
1

Its really important to understand that a small sample size isn't representative of the whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 05:56 PM
2

By real I meant more genuine and all encompassing if that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 05:54 PM
1

I'm not interested in alimony or child support. We would split custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 05:15 PM
1

I guess that is why I'm separated from a man making six figures 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 05:06 PM
1

This literally shows that a woman values more than money. She wants him....she wants a relationship, connection, intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 05:03 PM
0

There's no excuse for that and I am sorry that happened to him. Truly I am. But that doesn't make it commonplace, nor does it describe all women. It doesn't even describe most.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:56 PM
1

Whether the man wants a LTR, ONS, FWB or forever girlfriend (great option by the way) he'll do a lot better if he's confident, doesn't give a fuck, and knows he can have another "her" in a minute What woman would ever want this for a forever option??? Seen guys like this and their monster partners. It's horrible. I've been in this relationship. Its soul crushing. But the answer isn't to not care, its to find a partner who truly values you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:17 PM
2

So basically this is a man who literally wants nothing more than a slew of ONS? I guess its all in how you define success....
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:10 PM
7

How many real life women have you interacted with?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:08 PM
1

In what way?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:05 PM
1

Over-confidence is a turn off, while a little bit of nervousness is actually complimentary. Hate to tell you bud, but women don't "fall for" being viewed as nothing more than a human flesh light. Some may not care at times because they are using him as much as he is using her, but these men are passed over by women looking for anything real.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 03:32 PM
1

Oh ok.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 02:49 PM
7

In what way do you check in often when yall are out together?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 02:40 PM
4

Oh ok gotcha. How do you act toward him now in public?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 02:31 PM
7

Is there a reason they think you should be mean for no reason?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 02:20 PM
19

They think its fake because you aren't mean to him?
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 02:15 PM
35

Can you give more specific examples of what they are mocking? Just you not being mean? I don't think you will get anywhere with the one friend.... once a man tells his wife he wants her to be like someone else's wife, there is going to be bitterness and resentment (imho).
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/24 01:49 PM
1

Thank you. I really do want to be with him and I desperately want the intrusive thoughts to stop.
/r/RedPillWives07/02/24 12:19 AM
1

Yes I can say I've honestly seen a lot of changes. We have not revoked the separation agreement yet, but seeing the definitive changes is part of what makes me feel so guilty for struggling so hard to let it go.
/r/RedPillWives06/02/24 11:41 PM
1

He never brought the porn addiction around the kids, and he never ever did it when they were around. He is actively in recovery. He unfortunately didn't believe I would leave, and took me for granted. He justified his behavior in his own mind, but it hit him hard when I really did leave. He had an addiction for 25/26 years, but is in recovery. He has said and shown multiple times he is attracted to me, and that his type was due to what he has trained his brain essentially to like through all the…
/r/RedPillWives06/02/24 10:27 PM
1

Looking for advice. So I should tell him it doesn't matter what he wants, I'm leaving him?? How is that logical? How is it illogically for us to love each other, know we both made huge mistakes, and want to improve individually and together? Can you please explain why you feel divorce is a requirement? Especially when he absolutely does not want it?
/r/RedPillWives06/02/24 05:19 PM
2

Perhaps we have different views...I really don't see something like "hey babe, is there anything I should know about that I don't?" as lying.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 05:01 PM
2

But didn't he already lie? And then when given the choice to come clean, he lied again? I agree with being up-front, but I also know this is not very effective if someone doesn't have an issue lying. I guess I'm a little fuzzy on why being up-front would have changed things? Telling the truth because you got caught is worlds different than telling the truth.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 04:57 PM
2

Genuinely asking....why wasn't she being respectful by giving him a chance to be honest before she stated what she knew?
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 04:32 PM
1

Why is my agreeing to his request to reconcile not allow me to implement some of these principles? Men want variety of woman and instead of cheating on you with other woman he used porn instead. He has been in porn recovery for over a year. We have been working through both of our feelings about my other relationship. He has struggled intensely with feeling that it wasn't an affair, and that he knows for a fact had he not taken advantage of me for so long it would have never happened. While I do…
/r/RedPillWives06/02/24 04:28 PM
1

Well then it might be time to look around instead of relying on the Internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 04:09 PM

Perhaps changing your mindset from men have it horrible and women live like queens would help?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 03:57 PM

It must be so sad to believe stuff like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 03:55 PM
2

It would depend on what area they are struggling with. Is there a specific scenario you were thinking of since you said this should be considered above average?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 03:08 PM

Reputable peer reviewed studies? Why aren't 80% of men single?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 03:07 PM

That's a myth.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 12:02 PM

I'm still waiting for this life of luxury I'm supposed to be living 🤦‍♀️ I work hard for my income, started literally from the bottom up with my husband, don't believe in selling my body, don't believe in abortion (unless very specific extenuating circumstances), and would rather light myself on fire before I ever let a single person see me cry.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 05:35 AM
1

Yes! Sometimes I will want to talk about it randomly another time, but by the time I get home I really don't want to rehash the 💩 show that the previous 13-14hrs was. I just have nothing left.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 12:50 AM
1

Thank you. We haven't cancelled the separation agreement, but are actively working on reconciliation. Due to the past, I am not comfortable saying divorce isn't an option, but if we continue how we are it will be off the table. I am genuinely trying to be patient with him. I think I struggle with the fact that I have expressed my needs for so many years. The biggest part of forgiveness for me is rigorous honesty....that truly goes a very long way.
/r/RedPillWives06/02/24 12:43 AM
2

That really should be seen as a problem in your thirties if you don't have a house/apt, car, and career.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 10:44 PM

Some women are as horny as men, and by some ironic twist we are usually paired with men who aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 02:43 PM
3

Before 30, and before attraction. But you have already decided that your version of attraction is what all women seek, and that is simply not true. Because asking women how they think is how we end up on the actua situation where men are getting settled and divorced. I'm not sure your line of thinking here. Women up and leaving one day for zero reason is a myth you are being sold.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 02:29 PM
3

valuable to men, not to women. I'm a woman and those are the most valuable traits to me. They aren't all of them are attracted to the same small subset of men and what you define as "difference" is just a coat of paint. You are entitled to your perception, but I'm not quite sure how you are telling women how they think.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 01:29 PM

If thats the case I think you are doing something wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 11:04 AM
4

Dependable, honesty, vulnerable, strong sense of morality, and good work ethic are far more valuable. Women are attracted to different types of men though, so what is often described as the ideal man may absolutely not be so to some women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 08:14 AM
1

How are these high expectations in your 30s?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 12:59 AM
2

That is just your idealism talking. Bad things happen all the time. They happen because they can happen, not because the person deserves it. We generally hold that child hood should be free from abuse. Just because we will it t be so doesn't mean thee are not children who need help Again, no one deserves it. So if you know that you will only use someone, then don't. If you know you won't be able to love a child, don't have one. that is a gateway to a pretty significant part of life. One that you…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 08:56 PM
1

If these things are considered "above average" then the bar is too low.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 04:20 PM
2

If you are looking for a perfect relationship that never has conflict, irritability, exhaustion, or basically real life, then staying single is best.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 04:17 PM
5

And so my question is if my beliefs are holding me back, If the world is truly that fair why was i alone over the last 15 years. Why was there not a single inkling that i worth consideration as someones romantic partner? 1) Regardless of who you were, they are still holding you back now. 2) Why are you using 15 as the starting age? 3) Idk what held you back. Idk if it was a lack of maturity, a lack of understanding about women/relationships, an air of desperation, an inability to really put your…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 03:04 PM
8

No I don't, nor do I claim to. But in my almost 21yrs of adult life I have not met a single woman that aspires to have or is happy with a mediocre marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 12:36 PM
6

If a guy I like doesn't want me back solely because i'm not 21, then he just made it very easy for me, because my attraction for him just went out the window. ​ This is what you wrote. How is my aversion to women any different from your aversion to men who don't want you because you dont have youth to offer? Another poster said this. However, why would any woman be interested in a man that is only looking for sex with someone much younger (presuming we are still talking he is 30+)? what else cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 11:55 AM
2

I'm a lot closer to 40 than I wish I was, but I'm still waiting for this "everything you want at your fingertips" life. Not all women are interested in sexual attention from strangers. Many use social media in the conventional sense, and most don't use it to post half naked pictures. If a woman in a LTR has FWB and "thousands" of options to scroll through to find sex, might I suggest a better quality woman? Do you realize how many women actually work and have their own income? The vast majority …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 11:14 AM
11

Do you wear a work uniform and badge everywhere? Why do you think it is only about your job? I am cranky I am rude and down right mercenary. I am not the stable partner they think they are getting. If I don't get what I think I should get, I will leave. In a culture that is antidivorce I will leave them and trash their value in the marriage market. If I had to guess, this has far more to do with your relationship status than your job does. You see women as a commodity that has to constantly be w…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 11:08 AM
8

Being seen as a prize is only as valuable as the prize seeker.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 10:59 AM
8

A mediocre marriage is not ok period.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 10:53 AM
4

This may not be a popular way of looking at it but one of the things that helped us is that we decided when I work that, unless something was absolutely pressing, we didn't address anything big. We either eat sitting with each other, lightheartedly talk if I'm up to it, or just lay in bed and watch TV. I'm so mentally and physically drained when I get home I literally have nothing left to give short of an absolute necessity. We have discovered having a realistic expectation for after work has de…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 01:49 PM
1

It will take time I realize, but I'm trying to believe him. If we continue talking like we did yesterday I think it will help. The only part of the plan I'm not following is I am telling him what I need and am letting him know when I'm upset, and he is doing the same which was a huge for us. I think that at this stage there are things that have to be dealt with to rebuild the foundation, and not rebuilding the foundation is part of the cycle we have been on. I genuinely do see he is trying, and …
/r/RedPillWives02/02/24 09:22 PM
2

He is genuinely trying, I just need to be more understanding of his efforts. I am implementing some of the principles but not all, and seeing how it goes....we actually had a really good genuine talk yesterday, so I'm hoping we can continue that.
/r/RedPillWives02/02/24 08:49 PM
1

I think you might find it rather interesting, especially if you have a bit of a nerd side (I do lol) that likes knowing why things work the way they do!
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 04:48 PM
2

I totally agree, and it is definitely something I fight as well. As a mentioned I live in Bible Belt, which is also the Deep South, so all of my judgment work actually began with all the things about race I had grown up with as “fact” and doing a lot of questioning of the community beliefs I grew up and that permeate the old south. I'm a Christian, but I do believe we do a diservice to youth in sex education. With that being said, if it is something you are interested in, the psychology behind p…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 02:15 PM
1

Thank you for being willing to be vulnerable and here me out. Truthfully there are a lot of people who struggle with porn addiction, and a lot of people who loathe porn but are sex positive and the furthest thing from vanilla. I totally get the judgement thing, as I struggle too. Life has humbled me more than once when I judge a situation before I lived it firsthand and thats a bitter pill to swallow.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 01:42 PM
4

If that is indeed what is happening i wonder if they are actually choosing a fantasy that they feel they cannot share with their partner and the porn is giving them what they cannot get otherwise. I can only use my own experience, but I have talked to countless women who have very similar circumstances. I have always been the HL and kinkier partner. Always. I have introduced him to things he never thought he would do irl or he wasn't sure he would be into. The vast majority of men in porn addict…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 01:15 PM
8

Respectfully you have every right to decide porn is ok in your marriage, just like other people have every right to decide it isn't. If porn is a boundary it is absolutely a big deal, and OPs partner has explicitly lied and said he "hates porn and doesn't watch it." So there is a broken boundary and broken trust. Submission shouldn't consist of allowing broken boundaries/trust, and then participating in the activity to make the offending partner feel better about it. That is compromising who she…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 11:39 AM
5

If it bothers you I think you should respectfully tell him that. There is no reason you are required to pretend to be fine with it. Also the fact that he has lied about it multiple times doesn't help. Ultimatums don't work and only cause more problems, but you can be submissive and still set boundaries of what you will not personally tolerate.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 11:33 AM
1

I mean, here's a guy with a legitimate sexual-related addiction (pornography) and yet he never initiates actual sex!?!?!? So maddening and confusing You have no idea how understood I feel seeing someone else have the exact same thoughts! This is what blows my mind! But I actually think all of those traits are related to the addiction. I agree, but I think its very convoluted. I'm not so sure it reduces their masculinity as much as it rewires their brain regarding what sex is. I think they get so…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 10:39 AM
2

I am exasperated on your behalf. It is extremely frustrating, but I am doing some self reflection on my past reactions. There has been a lot of anger, and I have expressed a good part of it has to due with lies followed by trickling the truth. I told him I would genuinely work on my reaction if he would just be honest without me asking and from the start. You are shooting yourself in the foot here. One because you are ruining your own happy place and two because it is human nature to find attrac…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 07:51 PM
1

Thank you very much....this reply make me feel far more seen. I'll send a dm!
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 05:50 PM
1

I will do my best.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 05:33 PM
1

If "thank you for dedicating so much time to therapy" makes him smile big and tell you that he's working hard for your relationship, then you keep up the praise. (As a for instance). It does make him happy, as long as I don't follow up with any questions how recovery is going. If it is your form of self care and you enjoy doing it, why do you resent him? Because I feel like even though its for me, he loves it because it makes me more attractive to him. Instead of feeling like he is attracted reg…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 05:08 PM
1

It sounds like you trust him with finances (in the event of your death, not in the day-to-day management) and trust him to take care of the kids. Yes I do trust him in these things. Do you trust him to not cheat on you? Yes Imagining sex with a pornstar during sex with a partner, I consider this to be cheating. Not at all. This was done for most of our marriage, starting with my first pregnancy. He has promised he won't do it again. The last time was in October (fantasy about a woman he saw whil…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 04:57 PM
1

I'd expect that positive affirmations will have a much bigger effect over time than finances anyway. I will try and see how it goes. My only concern is that he has admitted many times that because he was always praised for doing the bare minimum, it conditioned him that mediocrity was all he should live up to. Now he does not do that at work though. I guess it is different or be compartmentalizes it? Idk. Here is one more post and then I will try to stop info dumping on you. Incremental Reciproc…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 04:32 PM
1

On reflection, perhaps he has a problem with me not needing him, because he knows I'm perfectly capable of doing well on my own. We have talked about the fact that we have really never been a team, just two adults who live their own lives and share kids. Idk, but maybe.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 04:23 PM
1

Perhaps reflecting on it he doesn't like knowing I don't need him and can function day to day on my own. Maybe that is part of the problem.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 04:21 PM
1

Yeah I'll do that. I know that is his biggest issue with me because he is very accustomed to positive affirmations and praise.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 04:03 PM
1

No, but I don't see the point in fighting fruitless battles. I do know what he said is technically true, and that he would never let our kids be in harms way.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:43 PM
1

While I don't believe I caused our marital issues, I said I would try to methods and put everything in his hands this morning. I do hope it changes things for my kids and doesn't further teach them what they have already picked up on.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:37 PM
1

Do you want to do the finances, or delegate that to him? Idk that it actually bothers me really. I know he has adamantly refused, but I am good at them so might as well keep it. We both have excellent credit scores, and I really would prefer to not give that up. My fiances grandma recently almost died in the hospital due to diabetic keto-acidosis and his grandpa was about to get the utilities shut off and the house foreclosed because he has no idea how to do any of the finances. It's unacceptabl…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:33 PM
1

I think I have to be really careful because I might be dismissed from these subs soon. I will do my dead level best to implement everything. I really don't know if I can let go of my credit score in the name of respect though but I will try to see it as a worthy sacrifice. And no its not that he can't handle the finances, he has been very adamant that he won't and if I try to make him he simply won't do it until I have no choice but to start again. But perhaps he will find it worth it to have th…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:21 PM
1

Well I think I am about to get dismissed from these subs for not going full on with the method and then waiting to see results. I will ask very nicely; he has told me for 15 years that if I drop the finances in his lap he simply won't do it until I have to take it back. He said he has no desire nor intention of taking on that stress. But I will see if implementing all these principles will make him want to accept the responsibility.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:17 PM
1

Telling him you will no longer talk to him is disrespectful though. He is pulling away from you for some reason. If he used to be close, what changed? We were dating then. He is highly avoidant and doesn't like feeling his emotions. I didn't mean I wouldn't talk to him, just that I wouldn't initiate any deep conversations. I know those make him shut down and feel trapped. So if he wants to have them he can bring them up on his time (or not at all). And me backing off has changed things considera…
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 03:10 PM

I said I would do all of that except for the stuff he wouldn't allow.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:02 PM
1

In what areas could you be more respectful and less controlling? I told him today I will stop asking any questions, initiating any deep conversations, or expressing any frustration toward him. If he wants to talk to me, spend time with me, or have sex with me he will, if he doesn't he won't. But at least he will be happy and not miserable any more. Really that's it. The biggest issue in our relationship is related to sex/intimacy. As far as everything else I know that is my responsibility. For e…
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 02:53 PM
1

I'm already married though, and did agree to try to reconcile. He was a lot of good things in the beginning, although he hid the porn addiction. But honestly (statistics support this as well), I don't really believe in many men that don't use porn, I just think some hide it a lot better than others. I will maintain the home, family, and finances and apply the other stuff and see if him noticing that I am suddenly the model of respect changes things for him. Hopefully it will.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 02:46 PM
1

Yeah he was especially when we were dating. Back then he definitely shared more of himself. He does have good qualities; he is a great dad and truly loves his kids, he is a hard worker, he is always willing to help anyone who needs it, etc.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 02:41 PM
1

What do I do to address him being passive? Edit: I find it very frustrating that my problems with my marriage seem to be pointed directly at me not being an ideal wife. Seems that the idea is had I been an ideal wife none of this would ever happened.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 01:49 PM
1

He doesn't want to make decisions about our relationship or family. He prefers I do that, especially when it comes to serious stuff. He prefers me to have all the uncomfortable conversations and be the disciplinarian with the kids. He will not handle finances. He will not plan, he has made it very clear all planning is my realm. What would happen if you didn’t say anything negative to him (like the skills in surrendered wife?)? He I'm sure would be thrilled. We could have a superficial relations…
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 01:22 PM
1

He does not want to be the leader and he has been very upfront about that. He would prefer me never say anything negative to him, but he has no desire to be the one in control, he actually prefers I do that since it takes stress off of him. He also prefers I initiate sex so he feels desired and wanted.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 12:50 PM
0

I'll look into it. I just listened to The Surrendered Wife and was sadly very disappointed. I'll do the method even though I think it will end poorly for me, but I know I'll have to still be the leader in the relationship.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 12:34 PM
1

He's not low libido -- he's just low for a physical woman, because of his past with porn. And you're probably not super high libido per say -- you're just high libido for him because you've been outrageously starved of physical/sexual affection for him. His libido has always been like that, and it remained like that without porn. He is usually 1-2 times a week, occasionally more. Mine is actually high, and has been high my whole adult life even before him. I would prefer at least daily. He has a…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 10:34 AM
1

I finished the book. I'll do what it says minus the financial part, but this is going to be a disaster. He doesn't want the leadership role, and a quiet, peaceful, never unhappy wife tells him he is perfect just how he is and can do whatever he wants.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 10:28 AM
0

No offense, but this book so far sounds like misogyny with a prettier bow. Never criticize, never give unsolicited advice, never make him feel like you have thoughts and feelings of your own. Let him do things like put the kids at risk, let him get the utilities cut off, let him ruin your credit, and never ever say a word about it so he feels powerful. A pleasant wife is a good wife. Just wow. I guess if that is what RPW is, I completely misunderstood.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 11:12 PM
1

I got the book and listened to it. I'll try all this for a while, but I think we are going to run into a big issue because he doesn't want to be the leader in the relationship. He has also said he will never take over the finances. No offense, but this book so far sounds like misogyny with a prettier bow. Never criticize, never give unsolicited advice, never make him feel like you have thoughts and feelings of your own. Let him do things like put the kids at risk, let him get the utilities cut o…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 11:07 PM
1

I got the book and am listening to it. I'll try all this for a while, but I think we are going to run into a big issue because he doesn't want to be the leader in the relationship. But I guess nothing to lose by trying. No offense, but this book so far sounds like misogyny with a prettier bow. Never criticize, never give unsolicited advice, never make him feel like you have thoughts and feelings of your own. Let him do things like put the kids at risk, let him get the utilities cut off, let him …
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 10:27 PM
1

Sure, got it, thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 10:17 PM
2

Yeah. I said I would. We will see if he gives some indication of his thoughts/feelings with his actions.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 10:16 PM
1

Fine. Funny thing is he showed no signs over the last year and change. His actions were all the right things. Even others who found out were floored because he seems like such a loving husband. But it fine I'll watch him and see if he give indications of what he is thinking/feeling.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 10:15 PM
1

Fine. It must be me, not that he is good at faking the right behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 10:10 PM
1

Thanks. Yeah I'm sure he wants respect and trust, but I'm also sure he has no desire to be the leader in the relationship. Hell he doesn't even like initiating sex because he wants me to so he feels wanted. He says let him show me I'm special, and I should know if he is willing to have sex with me that he wants me.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:59 PM
1

Then please clarify what it is you mean.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:56 PM
1

Can you explain what you mean by foggy? No I'm not on any substances.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:56 PM
1

What do you mean I'm out of it and a little foggy?
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:47 PM
1

I'll just do what everyone is recommending. And if he doesn't lead or have any solutions, at least he will be happy with a good wife who doesn't stress him out.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:45 PM
1

ya u cant see anyone’s…..but u have eyes and can watch behavior. He has hidden it well in the past unfortunately, but I will try. It does make it harder he doesn't desire that much sex too. I’m only saying this because i care but are you on a lot of pills cause we already discussed this. What do you mean?
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:40 PM
1

You missed my entire point. Completely. I'm not here to complain, I'm here to get advice on how to get past it. How in the world can I ask for advice on how to move on without any context?
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 09:36 PM
1

I guess I had a different idea of what it was. I didn't know it was respect and trust him regardless, keeping my mouth shut most of the time, and letting him lead whether he wants to or not.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:35 PM
1

I can't see his thoughts unfortunately.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:24 PM
1

You said "I think you’re missing the point here. You didn’t say enough was enough. Your thought process was, “maybe if I sleep with someone else he’ll want me”, otherwise you wouldn’t be here asking for advice." Does that not call me a liar?
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 09:07 PM
1

Thats just it....bring my captain the problem won't work with him, because he doesn't want that. He says he has no solutions and rehashing my feelings only does more damage. He said he doesn't know how to help me trust again since he is already showing me he wants me. He does not want the leadership role, and he has been very upfront about that.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:05 PM
2

I'm defensive because your answer was to call me a liar and say the whole separation and other relationship was a manipulation tactic. It also feels like you are being dismissive when you say me being so upset about a porn addiction. Yes complete rejection, weaponizing porn against me, lying, and emotional abuse upsets me. He is in counseling but everything else is on hold.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:58 PM
1

No, I need to see that he has really changed, I detest rug sweeping. Yes he knows and hates it. He feels like I won't give him a chance. He says he finds me attractive but feels that I'll never believe him. He said he realizes now that wanting someone based solely on looks is shallow and unrealistic (all I hear when he says that is he knows I can't live up to what he likes so he has decided to be content). I was in individual therapy but won't be able to go again for about six months.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 03:50 PM
1

Yeah its been under two months. Its complicated... I switched to nightshift so I'm gone three nights a week. He has two to three nights a week dedicated to recovery/counseling. We don't go out because its too triggering for both of us (me because of what he has done previously and him because he feels he is setting himself up to fight). I came to ask for advice because I don't know what to do.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 03:32 PM
3

think you’re missing the point here. You didn’t say enough was enough. Your thought process was, “maybe if I sleep with someone else he’ll want me”, How are you telling me what I did? I signed the legal papers, talked to the divorce lawyer, started splitting property, accounts, etc. Don't tell me I am a liar. Instead you decided to play games with your marriage Read my post history. I'm sure everyone here that is so judgemental will get a kick out of it. I got deathly ill and was nearly hospital…
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 02:59 PM
2

Because I love him and always did. And I thought I put that in, I corrected it. I give up. I thought reaching out for help would be beneficial, but I'm getting tired of being told "you faithfully stood by his side for 17yrs and slept with someone while yall were separated, wow you are awful and don't respect him." If you really wanted your husband I don’t think you would’ve done that So if I really wanted him I wouldn't have put in the work for 15yrs of marriage? I wouldn't have begged him to st…
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 02:45 PM
3

I would say sleeping with another man definitely didn’t fix your problems, and I’m sure isn’t going to help your husbands porn addiction I'm aware but no one seems to realize it was not an attempt to manipulate him, and it was mutually agreed upon in the terms of our separation. Separated or not, you could’ve waited until divorce was final if that’s what you decided to do. If you couldn’t wait that long, you clearly have some kind of addiction as well. I have an addiction because I was starved o…
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 02:12 PM
2

Thank you.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 02:09 PM
1

He stopped using porn over a year ago. I owe it to my kids to at least try.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 01:59 PM
3

Idk... there has been so much said. I may forgive but those words will never go away.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 01:41 PM
3

Yeah, and he is going to a support group and counseling. He isn't still saying it, but I can't make myself forget.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 01:30 PM
1

I'm not scared to leave.... I want to be with him if he does continue changing. And I won't hurt my kids when he is willing to change and make it right if that makes sense.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 01:27 PM
1

What conditions? Not being used??
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 09:49 AM
1

Reading the measures you took for his porn recovery, it feels like you are treating him like a child. I do not know for long this has been going on, but I cannot imagine any man having an emotionally satisfying sex in a relationship like this. I don't do any of that anymore, but he actually preferred it when I did. He has always been upfront with preferring me to do the work so he doesn't have to. He said (before this time) he knew he never had to do anything because I was the "fixer" of everyth…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:49 AM
1

Nice!
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:43 AM
1

He did that stuff before, but his libido is lower so not always a good indicator. He said he doesn't always think about wanting sex, and if that is the case he doesn't really see me in a sexual way. He is very content with sex once or twice a week.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:43 AM
1

That sucks.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 09:39 AM
3

Giving context really isn't justifying. Yes I was 100% wrong. But there is a huge difference in dealing with rejection and emotional abuse for a decade and a half first vs being in a happy loving marriage. Explaining doesn't equal rationalizing, it is only giving context. Only time and trust will tell, but doing this gives your relationship a much better chance. Realistically I will never know. I just have to decide if pretending to trust him will somehow let convince myself its true.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:21 AM
1

He has literally told me all of it. What actions do you mean?
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:02 AM
1

How can he prove his thoughts?
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 09:01 AM
3

Responsibility means to me saying what you did was wrong, and that it was entirely in your control. Excusing, justifying, defending, and deflecting are all contradictory to taking responsibility. I literally did that in multiple ways. The first step regardless is being the bigger person and breaking the cycle to give trust and respect. Hopefully this time it doesn't end as poorly for me.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 09:00 AM
2

Because I don't want to be an undesirable warm body. I don't want him sleeping with me because he wants someone else. I don't want to be used.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:59 AM
-4

No it really isn't unfortunately.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:58 AM
1

Same! Haha audiobooks are how I motivate myself to do laundry.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:57 AM
2

He tries to be reassuring and tells me he loves me, only wants me, and none of the rest matters. It feels so impossible and I don't know how to believe it.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:57 AM
5

What does taking responsibility mean to you? Cool, do it with a genuine heart the best you can too. If you catch yourself thinking a disrespectful or distrustful thought about your husband, do your best to let the thought go and focus on what you're doing in the present. Hopefully this is the amazing cure-all it is proclaimed to be, and not just permission to do as he pleases.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:56 AM
3

Perhaps we disagree about the direction of causality. You think that porn makes him think of you as just a warm body. My argument is that the decline in emotionally satisfying sex leads to him seeing you as just a warm body, which then leads him to seek porn as a substitute. His porn addiction was there long before me, he just hid it. Sex between us is actually extremely emotionally and physically satisfying now (it wasn't before). Its bizarre to me, but that is how he bonds, he just doesn't fee…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:51 AM
2

Thats just it, I can't see what he is thinking, and thats why the trust is so hard to rebuild.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:48 AM
1

He says that I have been very clear how I feel. He also says he doesn't understand why I can't be like him.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:47 AM
1

Thank you! I actually prefer audiobooks now since life is crazy and they are more convenient!
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:46 AM
2

And I'm stating that you are not doing what you can, the entire RPW perspective is asking what was your responsibility and what you could have done differently. I could have waited until I was all the way divorced. I mean seriously what is it you are looking for??? I have expressed responsibility, shame, regret, intense self loathing, and its like I'm still not doing enough to prove I take responsibility. This is maybe the fourth time I've said it now, feelings follow actions. Yes it will feel p…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:43 AM
1

He has changed in many ways, I just don't know how to let go and believe it is long term.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:41 AM
0

I don't know that I will ever do that again sadly.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:40 AM
0

I will try. I do know he needs me not to talk about it.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:40 AM
5

I explained it, you deflected and justified that what you did made sense in the circumstances you had. Someone who takes responsibility for such does not do that, they simply admit they did wrong and self reflected on how to change it for the future. I had sex with someone else. I was lonely and starved for love, but it was still wrong. I have dealt with steep consequences. I regret it deeply. I never even look at another man now that we are attempting to reconcile. I can't undo the past. But ei…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:38 AM
2

Yes, there are attractive people out there that we all notice in passing, but to go as far as to say he has to fight to want only you? He says it isn't like I think it is. Its just really hard not to objectify attractive women since he has done that his whole life. I don't see how you could even enjoy being out with your wife when your only focus is not objectifying everyone around you. He tells me this is not as bad as it used to be and he is able to resist more easily now Honestly this hurts u…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:35 AM
5

Respectfully I don't know what you want from me. I'm not sure why you are convinced I don't take responsibility for what I did. I can outwardly act like I respect him, and hopefully trust will come. To trust when you have no reason to seems very foreign to me. To me it feels like giving him permission by making him think I'm stupid and won't ask questions, but who knows.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:31 AM
1

I have tried it honestly....the advice I get is believe him that he has changed.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:29 AM
6

He has been in recovery for over a year, but his real life libido has always been lower, even in the beginning, and through his porn use. You managed to get him to change by committing infidelity and a threat of divorce. It truly makes me sad that that is how everyone seems to see that. It wasn't to make him change or manipulate him. It was saying I couldn't live that way anymore. After all, your real goal here isn’t to stop his porn use, but to have a happy relationship and satisfying sex life,…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:28 AM
3

At the end of the day, you still had sex with someone else then got back with your husband. I have admitted that, and I have significant self hatred over it. It goes over it in the post, which is what I mentioned. Our feelings follow our actions, and our actions give relationships the best fighting chance at things. Giving intimacy and respect will build trust, something that's missing on both sides of your marriage. I guess what I'm asking is is the premise that if I respect him outwardly, that…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:22 AM
2

Fine, then I messed up and there were no circumstances at play. Replies like this is why I think you didn't read the post, or it just didn't register with you at all. I'm literally asking for help understanding what you meant, or how the post would apply here, but you just seem to think I'm being difficult. I'm not. I'm trying to understand your perspective/advice.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:16 AM
1

I don’t think preferences can be changed like that. I’m sure it’s possible that maybe the heavy porn use was skewing his perception of what a female body should look like. Btw, has he quit the porn? If he tells you he doesn’t use it anymore, do you trust/believe him? His family also had this weird obsession with huge breasts, so he has believed that is the ideal womanly feature since pre-pubescence unfortunately. He has and I do believe that. However I know for the first few months of his recove…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:14 AM
-3

That wasn't very helpful either. It was basically this is something that will always be there, which is the biggest reason I don't know how to move on.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 08:07 AM
2

I'm not sure what penance I need to express. I fully accept what I did, and have been 100% honest with him about it. He is very aware of my level of shame and regret. Intimacy is essential to rebuilding trust, and respecting him is the best way you can start with that. It's going to result in him desiring you more, which will result in him lusting over other women less. No man wants to have a wife who's a stress, doesn't trust or respect him, and is constantly paranoid about him looking at other…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 08:06 AM
3

I did read the link you posted. Are you saying the solution is to respect him (not being sarcastic)? Your refusal at self reflection and inability to read outside resources indicates you truly don't and seem to think this is his responsibility rather than asking yourself what you can do, which is the only thing you can control. Why do you feel I'm not self reflecting? I did read your link, but unfortunately can't read a book atm.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:57 AM
2

I don’t understand what he needs to change; the fact that he wants a woman who looks totally different than you? How does one change that? He says none of that matters now, I just don't know how to believe it because I don't think you can change what you want. What makes you hold onto it, and what has he said regarding why he doesn’t want to separate? He said he loves me and never want to hurt me or risk losing me again. And no we really don't want it to end. I think we do love each other. The r…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:53 AM
6

I never once said I did no wrong. I'm legitimately asking for advice. You would be surprised how much your actions and what you do in the relationship affects the other person. Then I am asking what I should do. If you don't want to read them and instead want validation about how much your husband sucks and you did no wrong, this isn't the place for you. If that's what I wanted I wouldn't have even tried to reconcile. I'm asking how to trust him again.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:49 AM
5

that being said, I don’t think any man should stick around after their woman has cheated. And, vice versa. Being cheated on is a gut-wrenching experience, even if it seems like it motivated him in some way. He’s still a human being who feels emotional pain. It really doesn't bother him. He doesn't see it as cheating since we were separated, and he never feels (and never has felt) jealousy in our entire relationship. I know you probably think I just don't see it, but he really isn't the typical m…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:33 AM
9

You could have not separated/had sex with someone else and put in the work necessary to repair things. Instead, you chose the option of separating, having sex with someone else, then trying to repair your marriage I had zero intention of ever working on my marriage. I loved him, but couldn't live like that anymore, and had given him hundreds of chances. There are a lot more details (read my post history if you choose), but I never in a million years thought he would change. He never had, it was …
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:28 AM
6

I mean you can say it and justify it whichever way you like, but breaking up with your husband, going to have sex with someone else, then getting back with him is not going to be conducive to a healthy relationship, genuine intimacy, or bring about feelings of respect So you are saying I should have just stayed and let him continue doing what he was doing? How many chances should he have gotten? I know there's a lot of resentment and pain, but you can only control yourself and your actions. Bein…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:16 AM
1

I'm legitimately asking....so you just sugar coat everything and don't let him know you are upset?
/r/RedPillWives31/01/24 07:07 AM
4

I don't feel respected. I would disagree about my respect for him though; I was 100% faithful for 17yrs. He said for years it didn't matter how much he rejected me or how he treated me because I would never leave and never cheat. I told him I wanted a separation multiple times last year, and each time he begged for another chance. He would then end up admitting that he knew he was lying when he said he would change. I filed for separation and then sought a new relationship; this was discussed an…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 07:07 AM
1

?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 12:20 AM
1

I'm sorry you have experienced that. I genuinely don't mean to invalid anyone's experience, I just hate the rhetoric of "all women, you are just in denial with how you feel."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 12:23 PM
1

So be it. I'm glad the vast majority of couples I have known through the years weren't like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 02:13 AM
1

And none are happy? None picked the other because they genuinely loved them? Do you think you know enough couple well enough irl to make a determination about what most marriages are like?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 02:07 AM
1

How many married couples do you personally know (average)?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 02:01 AM
1

Your view of relationships is honestly sad. I happily chose my husband, in no way settled, and would do it again if given the choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:56 AM
1

Ok if you feel that way so be it. The fact that women wouldn't settle down with the men you describe says a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:48 AM
1

Ok cool. Also FWB is not a romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:41 AM
1

Sure, it does. But for most people one night stands do involve alcohol (or other substances), and are only for sex. These are not the men that are in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:38 AM
1

Most never have a one night stand that turned into more. But again, a one night stand also isnt about personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:20 AM
1

That assholes can have one night stands so women must really want that? What you proved is that women (and men) have poor judgement when alcohol is involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 01:14 AM
1

You do realize most one night stands aren't due to personality right? And that most men can hide it for short periods if it benefits them?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 12:36 AM
1

If it is something you even want to know, I think this is a question that is for a serious relationship, not the early stages.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 12:25 PM
1

Sorry let me rephrase because it would actually refer to LTRs as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:56 PM
1

We are talking about married couples specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 06:01 PM
1

Your lack of answers shows that you also know quite a few average couples too.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 05:58 PM
1

Thanks for the avoidance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 05:55 PM
1

Yes... through my adult life, and due to the nature of my career I have met an extensive number of couples. However you didn't answer my question....do you only know couples that qualify as the top 10% of attractiveness and wealthy?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 05:37 PM
1

Every couple we have known through the years are very much like us...average, built our lives up together (career, homes, etc), faithful, etc. Do most of the couples you know only consist of the top 10% of beautiful rich people?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 04:59 PM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 11:13 AM
1

Ok since you listed physical features/attitude; my husband is not a jerk, not buff, and not with some massive dick. He is an average guy who was carrying some extra weight and already balding in his early 20s. You took me asking why couples work their way up together to try to justify laziness. Working your way up together isn't a 40 year old man (or whatever age) sitting at home doing nothing because his wife does it for him. Edit: If a partner in the marriage, regardless of gender, doesn't wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 11:12 AM
1

Ok, then I'll ask like this. If money is such an important factor, why do so many couple start from the bottom together?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 01:21 AM
1

Most of the couples I have known through my adult life got married in their early to mid 20s when both were just starting out. How could that have possibly occurred if the most important thing women want is money?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:41 AM
1

But to think that men typically go for emotional value and women typically go for physical value is just not remotely realistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 11:58 PM
1

Thank God I don't raise my sons like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 10:22 PM
1

Longest period with no touch, no affection, and no sex as am adult? Four years. Before that it was extremely sporadic for 2-3 years. Except I was married. We have since done a ton of repair to our relationship, but I promise it was extremely lonely and heartbreaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 10:20 PM
1

That is just delusional.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 09:49 PM
1

Oh ok. My only comment was along the lines of I can't see how he hasn't met even one attractive woman who isn't severely mentally ill and obsessed with money.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 07:59 PM
1

A high value man who has compassion, morals, and loves his wife wouldn't leave or cheat because of her losing her breast. Not a desperate man. And just to clear something up 1)some guys like smaller breast and 2) how are you even remotely equating small breasts with a mastectomy?!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 07:49 PM
1

If this was the comment I think it was (the one that was deleted) his "modest" standards included hot, thin, and plastic surgery. If it wasn't that comment then I apologize.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 07:46 PM
1

Not allowing life experiences to make you bitter
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 07:44 PM
1

If this were all true how are so many average men married? And there are PLENTY of women who do not like random attention seeking pictures from either gender. My husband doesn't do, why in the world would I (and I legit would never even want to)? It has nothing to do with not liking men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 05:47 PM
1

So men want women more but women seek marriage more? Women like men's pictures less on social media because most of the pictures men like are of half naked women, not because women just don't like men. As far as the rest you can believe what you choose. The majority of women are not walking around hating men, finding them ugly, and measuring their height to see if they are tall enough to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 05:38 PM
1

I agree, just with the caveat that it does take extensive self awareness and work.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 05:34 PM
1

Vasectomy. And it should be quite interesting if you do ever have a daughter and you are trying to comfort her when she is distraught and heartbroken over men just like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 03:55 PM
1

Nope. Try again. Women and men are both entitled to a mutually satisfying relationship with an honest and caring partner. Started the marriage with lies is not what a man is "entitled to."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 03:38 PM
1

You cant make this a blanket statement without evaluating why divorce occurs. It isn't because the relationship was so great she wanted out. https://divorce.com/blog/causes-of-divorce/
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 03:36 PM
1

A man viewing his wife as an object solely for his visual amd sexual pleasure id NOT normal. Not to mention are they going to be watching you cheat on her when her body totally changed after having children? You clearly have no problem teaching sons this is normal, but I wonder if you will like the idea of other men lying to your daughters, pretending to care about them, and only using them for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:58 PM
1

Please tell her who you really are before you fuck up children. Your child shouldn't need a therapy voucher simple because of how their father views their mother, and all women in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:47 PM
1

Yeah...she is a biological mystery.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:46 PM
1

So if men go through bad experiences it is justification for bitterness. If women go through bad experiences it's just "sucks to be you, not my problem"?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:42 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c7a6l/maybe_the_issue_is_the_extreme_bitterness_toward/jotshqc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:35 PM
1

Please get a vasectomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:33 PM
1

Everything is blurry...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:33 PM
1

Does she know she is just a sex toy with a pulse? There is a lot wrong with that....poor woman. So she defies science? 🤣. Btw my mom was 5'5 and 105lbs. She was extremely thin and actually underweight with very little body fat. So you are saying 9lbs less with more than double the body fat for the same height. Again, science bud.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:14 PM
1

This is NOT a perfect comparison, but it is still close enough to get the point across. I have a kid who is 6'0 and 135. His body fat percentage is around 9%. Yes he eats constantly, it is just how some of the guys are as younger adolescent-teen years throughout both sides of the family. Please tell me how he has a BMI of 18.3 with this body fat, but your wife supposedly has a BMI of 16 with 20-25% body fat. Btw the actual conversion formula puts her body fat almost exactly equal with my kid🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:03 PM
1

Literally not possible 🤣 lol science is helpful to understand bud.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:57 PM
1

Wow so you want her to die for you, but you don't love her enough to die for her??? So she is just a pretty thing to have around and have sex with? Because that isn't love. Well i posted the official calculations for you, so she is definitely not average height.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:56 PM
2

Ok just for shits and giggles I calculated out actual convertions of BMI to body fat. I picked an arbitrary age of 27 (unless significantly off it would have little impact on results) and calculated it using the conversion formula and here are the results for 96lbs: Height 5'4 = approx 9.8% body fat Height 5'0 = approx 12.45% body fat Height 4'9 = approx 14.97% body fat Height 4'6 = approx 17.73% body fat Height 4'3 = approx 21.09% body fat Height 4'0 = approx 25.17% body fat So if your wife is …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:54 PM
2

Then she is NOT average height. Which means you have been purposefully misleading just for the sake of arguing. Average female height worldwide is 5'4in. A couple statistics drop it to 5'3, and European statistics increase it to 5'6.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:36 PM
1

Just for fun would you take one for her? And this isn't about if she would be willing to die to save you. You are literally saying she has to sacrifice her health daily and long term so that you can have an unhealthy level of thin. If she is healthy and normal weight then she doesn't respect or love you?!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:34 PM
1

Oh I see, I apologize!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:32 PM
1

My degree proves otherwise, but thanks 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:16 PM
1

So you feel that her sacrificing her health for you is dedication and respect?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:15 PM
1

Again, I am not advocating for high body fat, just normal body fat. A woman should be able to be at a normal, healthy body fat/weight and still be considered attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:14 PM
1

I truly have no idea why the idea that men want women more than women want men. When both are looking for real relationships, I honestly believe it is pretty equal, but if you are talking about sex then yes perhaps so.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:09 PM
1

I would say maybe 10-20% max haven't had some kind of negative dating experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:24 AM
1

Have you ever considered the benefits there would be if they didn't?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:16 AM
1

Do you have any idea how many women don't get that? Or go through really bad relationships before they do find a good guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 02:14 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14a1r1n/the_whole_women_dont_owe_you_sex_narrative_is/jo8purm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:15 AM
1

The comment about being attractive is easy for a woman, she just needs to be skinny with fake boobs was deleted.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:10 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c374h/women_dont_cheat_because_theyre_emotionally/jooxqo6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:08 AM
1

I would literally never be a doormat for a man who treates me like a slave and that he was doing me a favor by being with me. Wow I have no idea why dating is so hard for some men🤔🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:06 AM
1

Glad I'm in a real one and not dealing with this bs
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:05 AM
1

But why are you attracted to unhealthily underweight?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:04 AM
1

Not a representation of all women by any means.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 01:03 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c7a6l/maybe_the_issue_is_the_extreme_bitterness_toward/jopsd63?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:43 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c7a6l/maybe_the_issue_is_the_extreme_bitterness_toward/jopfzbs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:43 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c7a6l/maybe_the_issue_is_the_extreme_bitterness_toward/jood1j9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:38 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c7a6l/maybe_the_issue_is_the_extreme_bitterness_toward/jokm0x0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:36 AM
1

Wtf?!?! So she suffered HORRIFIC injuries that were out of her control, so you a lot saying that thete is no way he loves her, he is just desperate and settling?!?!! THAT mentality is the reason why part of the initial patient teaching when a woman gets breast cancer is that there is a high likelihood of her husband leaving her.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 12:33 AM
1

You can't UNDER eat and get enough nutrition. You have to eat a NORMAL, HEALTHY amount of food to have adequate intake. You are looking for UNDER weight. No one said you have to ne overweight to be healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:39 PM
1

The weight and height you listed are not recommended as it is underweight. Its hard to be underweight and get all your nutrients.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:21 PM
1

You can decide to put in work to be what you choose. However malnourished and unhealthy just so a man will accept you ( or any reason) shouldn't be one of those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:32 PM
1

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:08 PM
1

Actually I fully understand statistics on a college level since my field is in science. Try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:07 PM
1

Please just stol this is disgusting and only makes people feel sorry for your wife (if she even exists).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:05 PM
1

Oh ok thanks... I'll try later
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:04 PM
1

You aren't looking for effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:01 PM
1

Please explain the lie since the accusation was made.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:34 PM
1

Yeah. Everyone wants someone that sets the bar as sperm donor who lives in the same house but views his wife as a sign of failure. Sounds lovely.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:33 PM
1

Anxiety, laziness, negativity, pessimism etc can be worked on. Sociopathy no, but they also do NOT need to date. Narcissism can be worked on with extensive therapy IF the person really wants to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:04 PM
1

Wow I definitely know why you have issues in relationships, and it has nothing to do with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:00 PM

Those don't say 95% of women in committed relationships cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:42 PM
1

I don't want a horrible role model for my kids. Not expecting sainthood, just a decent human being.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:41 PM
1

You said people born sucky are less likely to change, and I asked why. No you specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:39 PM
1

Intelligent discussion should be able to cite evidence. This should have been learned in college and even high school.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:25 PM
1

Explain how it is a lie. Literally said we were looking for MORE ways to connect emotionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:23 PM
0

It was simply a reply to women commenting on what they know nothing amount. I used my husband as an example, but I know a multitude of average guys who do not agree with these mentalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:22 PM

It being more memorable when a woman cheats vs a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:20 PM
1

Not sure how any of that supports your 7% of the female population but whatever. You do know that pregnancy can cause permanent changes right? Weight redistributes, hips widen, loose skin, stretch marks, etc? Its not just diet and return to pre baby body.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:19 PM
1

You aren't doing anyone a favor, and no women don't value that with a man with low morals. I absolutely would not want my children raised by a man with this mentality.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:16 PM
1

Think what? I said what do you consider "born sucky" like how does that occur?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:13 PM
1

If you can't back up what you say it is only an opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:28 PM
0

So you are quoting me seeking advice on how to make my marriage even better? Definitely doesn't fit your narrative of withholding sex and just out for money does it? Not to mention I said DB IN THE PAST, not now.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:28 PM

Please cite sources, because statistics absolutely do not support this.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:27 PM
1

That is entirely different than they don't exist or you have never found one.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:26 PM
2

We are talking about real relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:25 PM
1

Please link survey. So she has to be thin, but if she doesn't stay thin she is still attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:25 PM
0

They do not have MUTUALLY satisfying and successful long term relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:24 PM
-1

Awe so cute...a man isn't capable of disagreeing with this mentality 🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:23 PM
1

Its literally in this post, but I legitimately don't know how to link it, do you mind telling me how?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 12:22 PM
1

Why is the average woman a poor dating prospect exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:07 AM
1

Men before my husband tried to break me. I refused to allow them to control me...yes it was hard but worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 10:04 AM
0

Nope 20s-30s. Please try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:56 AM
1

No longer a DB, but yes it was for a very long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:56 AM
-1

If a man or woman experience issues related to personality traits or character flaws yes they absolutely should work on it. If someone is depressed they should seek treatment (and yes applies to me so not judging). If someone is overweight they should work to get healthier (doesn't apply to cases where it legitimately isn't in their control).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:53 AM
1

Attractive is not wrong...expecting perfection or close to it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:45 AM
1

Beauty is subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:42 AM
1

Where exactly are you looking for these women that you have not found even an averagely attractive woman without severe mental illness or money obsession?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:41 AM
1

So women indiscriminately sleep with every guy they find attractive?? How is sex only a transactional relationship? Have you ever been in a true long term relationship where there is sex and love? I don't know any woman who settled for a man she wasn't attracted to (not saying that it doesn't ever happen, just that it is definitely not the norm). Plenty of women in marriages still find their husbands attractive and desirable. Women definitely do like men who treat them well. Not sure where this …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:39 AM
1

You do realize that assuming average height that 95lbs is actually significantly underweight and indicative of malnutrition correct? For average height (5'4 statistically) and normal, healthy weight is 110-145.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:30 AM
1

You gave a statistic regarding young men having less sex than women, and I gave you two articles regarding reasons why men are having less sex. I didn't think it had to be explained. So if men are eliminating themselves due to porn being easier that's irrelevant because women still have sex? How is that remotely logical?!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:24 AM
1

How exactly are you born sucky?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:20 AM
1

You really should stay single if a woman is nothing more than an means to make other men jealous. Just for curiosity sake, sre you also the *best of the best"?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:19 AM
3

Some men actually want relationships, not just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:18 AM
1

It greatly depends on what you view as thin. But my point was, if that were a requirement, what happens if she isn't thin after having kids or her body changes? Can you back up this data?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:17 AM
1

They are getting a doormat. Not a happy successful relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:20 AM
1

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-of-our-unions/202302/why-are-so-many-young-men-single-and-sexless%3famp https://observer.case.edu/giri-modern-hyper-accessibility-to-internet-pornography-is-destroying-young-men/
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:18 AM
2

Yes.... emotional awareness, communication, honest, and real connection!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:57 AM
9

Sex....not successful happy long term relationships. HUGE difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:48 AM
1

Imo online dating has a much high "per capita" of negative examples of both genders. I'm sorry you have had bad experiences though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:43 AM

Ah sorry I thought you were the original commenter I responded to... sorry about that!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:40 AM
0

Can you perhaps point to any statistics to support this?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:39 AM
1

Please show me just one dating profile of a homeless obese woman with herpes (or any STI) that has guys falling all over themselves. Yes as a woman I was "picky" about the character of the man I chose, who would eventually be the father of my kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:38 AM
1

Haha my husband was already balding in his early 20s. He isn't short ( but that had zero relevance), had never had a relationship before me, and was making $12/hr when we got married. I do find him attractive and desirable, and I love the life we worked for and built together!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:36 AM
1

Awesome....you must not be very active on this sub lol... I was only using "Chad" as a quote from here.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:32 AM
1

I think that there can be negative attributes in anyone, regardless of gender. I have known really shitty people of both genders, but that doesn't mean they are a broad representation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:31 AM
1

I can't even tell you how much pain I've experienced, and no I'm not looking for sympathy. I just refuse to let it win. Is that easy? Not even a little bit. Have I made a lot of progress? Sure. Have I "arrived"? Not even a little bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:29 AM
1

As someone who has been in extremely damaging relationships I promise I don't view bad experiences as something someone had coming to them unless extenuating circumstances! And even then, it just depends.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:27 AM
1

Sure you can hate women and still find ONS. How can you hate women and have a successful long term relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:24 AM
1

I think that is awesome (truly, no sarcasm)! But you sre rare in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:23 AM

Men with integrity stand by their commitments.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:20 AM
1

But you can choose to better yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:19 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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