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File-Own Archive

View 7 posts and 832 comments by File-Own on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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25

Petulant vulnerability at its finest, sis. They hate us cuz they know they can't have us. Sometimes they even go about rejecting themselves in their minds when they would have had a chance if they'd actually been men and made a move LOL. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/13/opinion/toxic-masculinity.html
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 07:03 PM
82

The Hollywood idea that if you're hot, men chase and idolise you, treat you like a queen, and you can get any guy you want is a complete myth. In my experience, certain kinds of guys treat you LESS well as they are threatened and want to take you down a peg or two. A lot of scrotes admit online that they don't approach hot girls but try it with the more average ones instead, partly to make hot girls feel insecure and partly because they think the latter will be "easier". Male depravity. I am ver…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 06:12 PM
23

You are not only hot but also a gem and queen, sis! They knew they couldn't do what it took to earn you so they went sour grapes and "She's such a prude" instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 06:07 PM
5

Yep, it's really not that hard to make female friends TBH. In fact, I personally find it a lot harder to make genuine male ones, you're not sure if they're just interested in you sometimes and also have to keep your guard up against any kind of inappropriateness. I've also gained so much from female friendships I never could from male ones!! (support on things, period advice, etc.) Priceless. It is SAD that some women won't be friends with other women. All for the sake of landing that one (or mu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 03:05 PM
3

As a lady in her late twenties who grew up seeing "thin was in," I find "thicc" even worse TBH. It's hard to achieve that kind of hip to waist to bum ratio (PLUS low body fat on areas like tummy) even with strength training, you have to use waist trainers and/or get surgery. It's also often paired with a very soft-core porn fashion aesthetic on social media. It's more "guy pretty" than "girl pretty".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 11:04 AM
15

The funny thing is that even they can't necessarily win (not the wives of wealthy men, just thin women). I'm very slender (it's how I train and like to look that way) and due to work I currently live/date in a predominantly working class area. I am CONSTANTLY negged/berated about my thinness, told to "eat a burger" on the street etc. Heck, even in the gym other day a "curvier"/chubby girl loudly said to her friend about me, "That girl has no bum". There is no "winning," I agree 100%. Do your own…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 11:01 AM
9

I'm similar. I enjoy being model slim, doing my cardio and lifting weights when I choose. To be honest, given the body shape of most of the women in my family I could easily choose to eat more, do less cardio and have the "T & A" I wanted - but I personally don't like the way my legs look when I get curvier! And it's my body. I have trained for years and am SICK to death of the fitness industry and social media trying to bully women into "lift heavy! Eat more! Grow your bum bigger!" There is ALW…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:56 AM
34

It is ridiculous. I'm in my late twenties, blossomed into my looks and am fortunate enough to look very attractive by the standards that were in place growing up. However, I've given up completely on "modern" ones. I agree complete, today's beauty standards are incredibly fake and plastic - an unnatural hip to waist ratio (I am model slim and work out regularly to be "toned", but this kind of thing needs injections or just very rare genetics) and a lot of fat only in certain places, "cat eyes" t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:46 AM
24

Bang on, sis. I'm always wary of women like this. "Into guy things" is no excuse - there are LOADS of other girls into football, cars, etc. you name it. They don't want any other women in the friend group, because they see them as female competition. There's a woman like that at my gym who is also in the weights area. It's quite a mixed gym, and that area is definitely not male-dominated, I myself always say hi to most of the other girls, but I have only seen her ever talk to the guys and go aro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 09:38 AM
5

Hello hun! I'm the lady who made the gym thread (apologies to all those who posted there btw, it's been a manic week at work but I will reply shortly). I have found that the gym is especially bad for sexual harassment. Although I have also had the odd LVM ask for my number in public and try to get me to sext him and other crap. I also agree with the Original Commenter. Outside the gym I like to dress in a very professional, fashionable way, and the better I look the less I get hit on weirdly. So…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 08:34 PM
16

he says he’s not ready for a relationship but really respects and cares about me so he decides to be honest. This part ALSO gave me massive narc vibes sis. I've noticed that the most shitty behaviour/actions followed with "Well I'm just being honest! Don't you want me to be honest?" is always a red flag for a narc/LVM. "Just being honest" is usually a precursor for/way of justifying away incredibly insensitive and inconsiderate behaviour. How about just don't do the shitty behaviour in the first…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 05:18 PM
18

In the past week alone, I have been harassed by both a maintenance worker at the building I live in (where I've had to write in a strong complaint) and a random scrote in a group when I was walking home alone after a night out. In BOTH cases, an older woman around tried to put me down and defend the scrote: the woman who works in the reception of my building actually laughed at me when I turned around to glare at him after he kept on leering, and the woman walking with the scrote and his group o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 09:46 PM
11

This comment is gold! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/21 07:50 PM
8

I have high-functioning anxiety (a lot of people don't believe b/c I am very confident IRL), and my narc emotionally abusive ex used to try to loudly talk about how girls with mental health problems were "no good" and "being the reason a girl needs therapy" (apparently it's an LVM quote) after I dumped him. He had mental health problems too (borderline personality, also anxious as he grew up in an abusive household, etc.) and the ironic thing was, his were much more apparent and I was usually th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 05:07 PM
60

That's the spirit queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 04:31 PM
5

People who view relationships as transactional is a big NO for me sis. Well said :) An HVM should want to spoil his woman not be like "Oh I bought her dinner so she owes me now!" Wtf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:09 AM
7

They always say never to listen to women for dating advice and wonder why they’re still single…Because I’m sure a successful high value man is spending time “teaching” losers how to get women. Real men understand that women are not a monolith to conquer and that we are individuals…PEOPLE with different wants and needs. Losers on those subreddits just want as much casual sex as possible and can’t see why women don’t want them…lmao WELL SAID sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 10:22 PM
22

Maybe just be happy single till you find a man worth it. I'm in the same boat :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 11:06 AM
37

Being a "bumbler" and using it to get out of doing emotional labour is actually a Narcissist trait. I've seen it in a few Narcs I've dated - everything from "Oh, I just forgot to text after our last date" to "I will pretend to not pick up on the fact you are obviously interested in me because I want you to chase me like a pick-me." (That never worked!). My Narc mother is like that too. Growing up, her "oops, silly me" resulted in everything from leaving the key to our house with an abusive man t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 10:13 AM
29

The more active a man is on OLD the more scrotey he is. It's mostly an online meat market and guys who use it have a bad attitude towards women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 10:02 AM
19

Spot on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 10:01 AM
118

AKA no boundaries and won't call out his treatment leading to abuse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 09:59 AM
32

MARX'S FUNERAL 😂😂 Sis this made my morning 😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 09:58 AM
2

This made me want to cry. Very well written sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 12:31 PM
4

Likewise sis! Don't settle :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 12:27 PM
4

It really can be. I'm proud of you for doing so sis. I also do it, and won't cave into white entitlement when strangers do things like try to demand that I take time to help them with something or make way when they won't. Thank you, yep they feel entitled to our time and energy as well. I also used to dress down but right now I just do what I want and as you do (good on you) I will call it out. Even with shop staff I will always either ask to speak to a manager and/or call customer services. Ve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 12:25 PM
14

I find this post so incredibly relatable sis. I'm a WOC, petite and without bragging I am considered quite attractive. I get a ton of casual racism and microaggressions all the time outside, as well as the usual sexual harassment for daring to be in public. A lot of unattractive pick-me white women seem to get very triggered by my presence even though I am easygoing and polite. Unfortunately for them I don't stand for bullies. I was on the train a few weeks ago, opposite a group of older white w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:58 AM
4

I'm sorry to hear about your medical conditions sis having had a severe one myself when I was younger. I can relate totally to feeling safer being overweight. I've never been overweight so hope I am not speaking out of ignorance here, but did go through a period at university of living in a cold student flat and as a consequence I changed my "style" to wearing oversized, baggy and really figure hiding clothing (think Billie Eilish). Men ignored me completely outside unless I was sitting in a caf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:54 AM
18

This is spot on sis. I'm conventionally attractive but went through a period before university where I had a severe illness. For months, I had dark circles under my eyes, horrible peeling skin even on my face, and was so sensitive to make-up I couldn't even wear it to hide my appearance. People spoke down to me a lot, random men on the street tried to bully me and I got a TON of nasty remarks from pick-me female acquaintances about how "tired" etc I looked. Probably more so given they knew how p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:50 AM
25

"If he's a community dick, he'll cheat" Words to live by sis, I would never date a past man whore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 07:46 PM
37

Agreed 100%. These kinds of men will also share around pictures (even non sexual) ones of the girls they are dating for other dimwits to "rate" etc. I even knew an LVM (ex friend) who used to share pictures of OTHER GUYS' girlfriends (using partners of guys he didn't know too well and old pictures) and pretend he was dating them for approval from his male friends till he got caught out. Literally WTF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 07:45 PM
45

Yep. Narc behaviour
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 07:43 PM
6

This is such a great idea :) And good on you for leaving the narc, sis <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 11:29 AM
21

Definitely entitlement, queen. These men who use OLD a lot are spoiled rotten by pick-me types. Paired with the fact he was good looking he clearly expected me to chase despite being very pretty myself 🤣 the AUDACITY sis, never in a million years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 08:18 PM
19

This is a great idea sis :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 05:28 PM
35

Yep sis. 🤣 Men like that don't like women they can't control. Funny thing is that I was interested when we were talking, but I wasn't going to make the first move. According to mutual friends the guy is very active on OLD and knowing OLD he must be used to pick-mes chasing him and bending over backwards for him (and also that I'm his type physically, which probably added to it). It must have stung when I politely stopped talking to him (he also kept on "dropping hints" that he wanted me to make …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 01:48 PM
121

A narcissistic LVM tried to "shame" me for my "low paid" career last weekend, only to realise it wasn't even my career SMH lol. I was at a party with a good friend of mine (who works as a secretary) but mostly acquaintances, and got chatted up by a finance guy I later found out had a reputation for being a "ladies' man" especially on OLD. (And for chasing around female Z list celebrities hoping to snag one). He kept hinting at being interested but refusing to make a move, so I gave up as I do no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 01:12 PM
8

My current new neighbour is like this. Too nosy, too obsessed with every single thing I do. It's disturbing. I will be confronting him on this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 08:28 AM
6

Sadly so, sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 09:04 PM
2

Thank you! I was thinking of visiting when the pandemic's over actually, not for dating but just to see my old friends. I heard it's really good for tourists too? Yep, I work in a male-dominated industry (not Finance, but I work with a lot of finance guys). They often have an awful attitude, esp. towards less privileged people. I grew up in a well-off family and was fortunate enough to be very well educated, and even I don't feel comfortable with some of the jokes they often make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 08:03 PM
3

This is so cute. :) And don't forget spoiling the shit out of yourself too. I just moved city, my friend network here is more spread out but I'm also loving myself and enjoying alone time. It's actually nice as usually I would be pressured into socialising all the time but now as much as I love my friends I get the time/effort on myself too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 07:32 PM
2

This is brilliant advice sis! So many dresses I didn't wear during lockdown! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 07:31 PM
2

The OC was joking, hence the "lol" and sarcasm with "no feeling guilty about the bill either." I do agree though that there's a disturbing general expectation in society that women "owe" something in return for a nice dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 07:30 PM
55

Some women are so sad they get off on trying to make other women sad. There's a free event that has been going on in my town for the last few days. It features some really good dancers/music at the end. I arrived late today (it was the last day) and they were just shutting down. A woman to my side kept trying to catch my eye and strike up a conversation. When I finally looked at her, she took great pleasure in remarking on "They aren't coming out again, I don't think. Aren't you sad?" (SHE had a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 07:26 PM
28

Are Toronto men quite misogynist? I have a few lovely Canadian girlfriends from there, and they ALL say that the men/dating scene are trash, even worse than London and NY which are also big cities. Apparently there's loads of pick-mes and a materialist sugar daddy culture or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 08:39 AM
59

I work in a male-dominated field (not finance but I know/work with a lot of finance guys). I refuse to date finance guys, ever... my friends say I'm being too picky but a LOT of them are misogynist, have red flags etc. They also have a nasty attitude towards poor/less privileged people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 08:38 AM
21

No, your post was interesting, thanks lol! :) Yeah, as a WOC in a white majority country I've been getting more and racism on the streets lately and have had to apply this philosophy. Else people get away with crappy behaviour. Good on you for doing the same :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 08:45 PM
1

Good luck to you sis! Enjoy :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 08:06 PM
1

Thanks sis! And wow there are so many red flags there. The 15 year engagement as you say, the lie, even if it had been true helping a "friend" cheat would have been low AF...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 07:59 PM
89

"It's not you, I'm just confused/busy" or any other woe is me story that puts the pressure of emotional labour on the woman once again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 07:58 PM
31

The same energy is sometimes the only good response, I think. I've come to realise lately sometimes bullies only respond to bigger bullies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 07:57 PM
57

"Men don’t like openly intelligent women." Say it louder for the people in the back! Your post also reads as incredibly smart, sis. I have good emotional intelligence and my intuition about people is also very rarely wrong. Manipulative men and/or narcs hate me because I can spot them and any agendas they have a mile off. Negging, games, gaslighting, and trying to make me jealous/insecure just don't work on me. I used to work part-time in retail at university and the (subtly) racist bullies who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 07:57 PM
2

I remember it being things like "lipstick feminism" etc. Now to be a "liberal feminist" you have to post a picture of yourself half naked on Instagram, sleep around, and support sex work as "empowering".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:51 AM
2

Sis, I've had guys like this turn into raging, negging narcs at the PERCEPTION of rejection - back in my pre FDS days, I did consider at least dating a couple of guys like this. However, because I expected them to chase and didn't go around fawning and offering sex on a plate like the pick-mes they were used to off OLD etc., they chose to take my behaviour as rejection. I could tell it stung. They are 100% insecure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:36 AM
2

Yep! I'm not a charity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:34 AM
3

Sleazy Fuckboi Supreme: comes with a side of narcissism and insecurities he tries to solve by sleeping with women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:34 AM
6

You’re not going to suddenly start viewing women as people overnight. Nailed it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:31 AM
3

A man's friends say a lot, I guarantee his "boys" will encourage him to cheat every time he's in an LTR.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:30 AM
5

Yep. There is no "special woman" who will magically change him, a man must respect ALL WOMEN before I go out with him. The girls he disrespected during his fuckboy days are not collateral.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:28 AM
3

No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:26 AM
7

I feel you sis. It's the mentality of men who use OLD. Narcissists and socially awkward rejects who like the "meat market" aspect. Usually also the kinds of guys who have multiple women on Snapchat that they harass to sEnD n00ds, follow Instagram pick-mes, subscribe to Onlyfans, etc. The people who make online dating apps are NOT womens friends, they treat us like commodities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:23 AM
3

I have to agree here although thanks to OP for some insights as well. I used to use OLD and maybe it's just my country but Bumble had by FAR the worst guys. The whole "woman messages first" was (apparently! I don't believe this) to make sure women felt safer (I think this is nonsense because it only takes one message and then the weirdos would just behave like normal). But in reality it just clearly attracted low effort men who loved the thought of "ooo a woman messages first, the women chase, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:12 AM
4

You always post wisdom sis! Yeah I never bother with them, I find meeting guys normally is a lot easier? The guys who know me already and ask me out, or guys who approach me in public generally (not always) turn out to be less weird. It's just a meat market mentality. I used to do OLD but I went on WAY too many dates with someone who seemed "normal" and then started showing red flags straight away as soon as I met them IRL. As you say sis, the kinds of guys who use it tend to be socially awkward…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:09 AM
12

This is spot on. These losers don't even know what they're dating for lol. In their mind "winning" is either "conning" a woman into sleeping with them before she wants to, or if that fails.. leaving the HVW who insisted on wanting more. Hollywood portrays this as the guy being a "player" but actually the HVW is dodging a bullet 😂 I agree 100% on insta commit scrotes too. I once had an online acquaintance of mine from another country (we had mutual friends and I was learning his language) tell me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 11:52 AM
29

I have been to loads of gyms. While I have experienced unwelcome behaviour from younger men too, by far and away the worst sexual harassers have been guys exactly like this. 40-50 or older, disgusting to look at, badly dressed with tennis shoes and beer bellies, ogling and following me around constantly. I can literally LOOK AROUND a gym after walking in and I will know exactly who is going to stare, be a nuisance and creep on me. These guys are always a given.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 11:23 AM
23

"You mean too insecure" would have been my response. Also he has no clue how much money she makes or if she's from a rich family. Scrote was PRESSED.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 10:57 AM
12

I'm thinking about this. I have been in loads of gyms and NEVER had a session where I haven't been sexually harassed unless it was very late at night when nobody else goes. I took a break from the gym due to lockdown etc. and am rejoining soon. I'm already anticipating having to call out starey old scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 10:56 AM
3

Yep. PUA and redpill ideology is also everywhere these days, maybe not all guys are reading those blogs etc. but a lot of similar ideas are adopted by all kinds of men. I read a book lately called "Men Who Hate Women" - it's by a feminist author who gave speeches at universities. She noticed recently how more and more "normal seeming" (not incel) younger guys would suddenly seem to hold incredibly misogynistic ideas based up by pseudoscience. It's going backwards. Guys like this do target attrac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 10:52 AM
25

Spot on sis. Sadly, as an attractive and well-educated/high earning woman, this is also why I no longer date men who aren't also well educated or high earning, even if they pay for dates etc. Or guys who aren't generally well socialised and are bitter. Or even guys who have issues about their looks etc. In my social circles there's a guy about 5 years older (in his 30s) who used to model and was tall, handsome etc. but after being a "party boy", hard drinking aging him fast, and losing a lot of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:59 PM
28

There's a lot of casual misogyny in the UK and "lads being lads." When this is considered acceptable incidents like this are also sadly more common. I had to deal with two such things in a short space of time earlier today. I was walking past a father and his daughter when he looked at me and said "Something's not right with HER!" (Walking perfectly normally past them as a WOC). I made a nasty remark back and he looked away and didn't reply. Slightly later, an idiot cycling on the pavement crash…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:56 PM
3

Yeah, it's always best to not give out too much personal information unless you really know someone. In the library actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 10:33 AM
11

So much this sis! I'm embarrassed for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 08:26 AM
14

This! I am an incredibly feminine woman when it comes to dating. I can say that my dating style does NOT make LVM and pick-mes comfortable, even if it has nothing to do with them (I stop dating LVM at the first sign and pick-mes can do what they like as far as I'm concerned!). If anything pick-mes are the ones "trying to fill the male role" in relationships. Both LVM and their handmaidens don't like women like me who expect men who pay for dates and know that a proper DATE is not some walk or co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 08:25 AM
14

What are your thoughts on men who approach in public places? (not PUA scum who go around trying to get every girl's number, ones who are interested in you specifically). A guy asked for my number yesterday (I said yes, because he was my type and I had also been looking at him a lot). I like men who take initiative, although I know that doesn't necessarily indicate a guy is HVM of course, especially because he only had my looks to go on. But it's a nice change from the sorts of guys I'd kept runn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 08:21 AM
9

She literally gives me so many Rapunzel vibes <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 10:29 PM
26

Well said! Funny fact - I once got "negged" by scrotes on online dating (pre FDS days) but... wait for it... they were "negging" on my appearance and my iPhone was acting up. So I had no actual pics up and a minimal bio. I thought my profile was working when I started swiping but my iPhone had other ideas! Anyways... I started getting messages, and because my bio said "high maintenance" I suppose it triggered them. I started blocking. Then I got a message that said "You're average at best, you l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 09:25 PM
4

Yep. "Negging" (even if the woman in question is so far out of their league she'll never read their stupid comments) is a sure sign of an NVM/LVM. NO question. High value males who have accomplished things do not see similarly accomplished women as threats, or think that the only way to find a mate in real life is by "bringing her down a peg or two" to their level (AKA the dirt). It's the same way no woman confident in herself ever tears other women apart randomly. Only the pick-mes do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:48 AM
6

Most likely bitter men who get rejected by those women. It's a shame too. I don't brag about my looks, etc. I am a confident woman but don't go around like "I'm so pretty" - I am honestly dorky and down to earth, I don't even like wearing much makeup or revealing clothes! But even just existing around pickme women or insecure men leads to constant "negs," etc. It's like they aren't happy till a pretty woman feels like crap. They make assumptions before even getting to know me. Women can't win. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 10:50 AM
22

Yep lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 05:39 PM
2

bUT hE iS nOt yOUr ATm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 05:29 PM
7

Exactly. Generally speaking, in fact, the highest value men I know tend to have strict mums who don't worship the ground they walk on, but do love them while setting strong boundaries and not acting like "man > woman" 100% of the time. This woman is unbelievably entitled. You just know her son is too. The audacity is off the charts. Even the way it begins - "my son is not your ATM" - well, I'm not your son's mommy bangmaid. It's just so so fucking creepy SMH. She's clearly a narc mom enmeshed wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 05:29 PM
3

Some people shouldn't be having kids, tbh, yeah. It's disturbing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 05:18 PM
8

DRACARYS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 05:13 PM
21

My ex narc's narc mom's mantra. I feel you sis. I first realised there was something deeply fucked up about their family dynamic (and I have an Nmom myself, but thankfully grew up normal as the scapegoat kid who went my own way) when he sent me a video of them over Christmas. He was downright swearing at his mum, calling her a coward etc. (in a "jokey" way, but still not acceptable!), for not calling a relative she apparently disliked over the holidays. F-word this, f-word that. She was also sho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:30 AM
67

This also describes my Nmum's relationship with my brothers v with me. She celebrates their successes but gets jealous of mine. Pick-me mums are dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:27 AM
57

I can't think of a SINGLE next level NVM I knew who wasn't in an emotionally incestuous relationship with their mum, interestingly. Bunch of manchildren.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:26 AM
38

Sis, I'm ded lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:25 AM
8

I made no mention of taking the high road or not fighting back? As per further my comment above, I tend to avoid groups of guys like that in situations where I can and I feel I'd be putting myself at too much physical risk by being around them. That's my prerogative, and it seems a bit victim-blaming (with all due respect) to suggest that I'm "enabling" their behaviour. Are you suggesting that I am giving off some kind of impression that I do not fight back with your second sentence? As a sexual…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 11:53 PM
22

Definitely nothing rational about it. Confident, secure men don't pull this kind of crap. Yeah, I'm told I give off plenty of "attitude." However, some guys will start nonsense no matter what, even respond more to women they see as "confident" and want to "take down a peg or two" (I've seen this behaviour in other social situations too). Unfortunately, too, especially going through areas which are less well policed (in the UK, it's rare in some areas to see either police cars or officers around …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 11:46 PM
9

Well said
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 06:49 PM
6

Fuck your ex, sis. You're beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 06:03 PM
22

Very well said sis. Not to mention a lot of women (even younger ones these days, sadly) actually make themselves look worse through the constant use of fillers etc. I'm not going to name names but I can think of some female celebs in their early 20s. In my opinion plastic surgery does not always make a person "look better," certainly not IRL and makeupless as opposed to after a dozen Instagram photos taken at the right angle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 06:01 PM
338

I literally often feel sick/tense walking past groups of men. And I'm attractive. I often get LVM trying to "neg" me, or even more sexual harassment. It goes from "you're fucking gorgeous, love" to "you fucking ugly bitch" in a second. Its about power/control, not genuine interest. Men will say any shit about women just to look cool to their "bros".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 05:47 PM
34

Any other attractive women sick of the crap they get for it in public? As well as street harassment, the constant "negging" and insecurity from both pick-mes and triggered LVM. I went on holiday over the weekend and to a part of the UK there aren't that many WOC. Besides being glared at and hearing the occasional bigoted comment, my appearance was regularly criticised - I'm very pretty lol (have been told that all the time and don't want for attention) and dress cutely, but had quite a few women…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 04:56 PM
2

Omg that's ridiculous! They are so entitled. It's like when I used to use OLD in my pre FDS days, I'd clearly state things like "Don't send me explicit messages straight off" and some guys HATE the idea of a woman having clear boundaries like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 04:00 PM
2

Thank you sis! :) I think I follow thefeminineschool on Instagram too, it's really good to see FDS minded advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 06:56 AM
2

Thank you sis! :) I think I follow thefeminineschool on Instagram too, it's really good to see FDS minded advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 06:49 AM
76

Any talk of exes early on = instant block for me too. I'm not a free rebound and/or therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 11:17 PM
17

I read an article about this on the Daily Mail (a British tabloid that's usually garbage but has the odd FDM gem) the other day. It was about a mother who was angry at men hanging out outside ladies' lingerie changing rooms when her teenage daughter was getting a bra fitted. ALL the top rated comments were saying "Stop being oversensitive," and the lowest ones were talking sense - WHY does a man have to be waiting outside a changing room? It really annoys me tbh sis. Speaking as a woman who love…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:44 PM
28

This! It tries to push emotional intimacy when you don't KNOW the guy that well yet. Also can I post how much I REALLY HATE guys who try to do the whole "one of the girls" act in the hope it'll get women to open up emotionally more quickly?! It's a red flag and not just because I naturally prefer HVM provider types with masculine "let me get the bill/hold the door open" personalities. But also every single guy I've met like this was a manwhore, often slept with quite a few of his female friends …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:39 PM
1

I think it's a good point :) I don't have kids myself so I'm out of my depth here lol. I think it's healthy for kids to spend time/bond with both parents, but if babies are naturally more drawn to the mother/often need to be breastfed I can see why the mother might want to take more care of the baby. On the other hand the dad should at least try to pull his weight. I agree with your last sentence too. In the OP, hubby clearly wasn't cleaning/cooking/getting the groceries as much as he should hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:36 PM
5

It's the LVM dream. They get a 1950s housewife and don't even have to provide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:27 PM
3

Yeah, it's seen as "women's work" and hence an LVM will shy away from it. Women need to be very careful about the value they're adding v what a man is contributing. I've seen it too, single dads trying to get another woman to play mommy/caretaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:26 PM
3

Wow, sorry to hear that. I'm glad you got out though sis. All the best :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:25 PM
2

Yep. See how many TV shows still rely on old, outdated racist stereotypes and "Oh, it's just a joke, you're too sensitive." Some people actually BELIEVE crap like that (even more so if they're exposed to fictional racist dog whistles but have no POC friends in real life) and then when they are faced with the reality of a successful POC, they get triggered and angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:24 PM
1

You're welcome :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:18 PM
2

Yeah, the Midlands is meant to be quite diverse, but I live in a small satellite town which is mixed but there's a lot of "keeping to oneself" as well. Roughly where on the South Coast if you don't mind me asking? I was actually thinking of moving to Brighton as my firm has an office there, but I heard it's not so diverse. So now I am thinking of Cambridge instead. It's such a shame we have to think about this even when deciding where to live. Omg, that's awful - I hope you called her out on it!…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:18 PM
31

Yep. You can be "everything", do everything and it still won't be enough for an insecure LVM. I feel sorry for the woman in the article, she is trying to be the Cool Girl but that never works out in the end. I can never imagine being a pickme to the extent I try to "laugh off" my guy ogling random fitness girls on Youtube as I try to work out. I can see marrying a guy who makes slightly less, but definitely don't coddle him and do his share of the housework, etc. That's not even having the upper…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 09:39 PM
9

Yep. As always, the blame/emotional labour is placed on the woman. (Including the emotional labour of "dealing with" it). Just block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 09:27 PM
18

Thanks! I know the trend you mean. The female voice doing it sounds creepy and robot like as well, it might very well be a man using one of those "voice app" things. I remember a British celeb I follow doing a parody of it with his GF, which just shows how absurd and predatory the whole "trend" is: https://www.instagram.com/p/CQwcy-9jDW\_/ Could you please link the influencer? I'd like to hear her comments :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 09:25 PM
4

Thanks! I have a very strong personality and can challenge it, but it's still exhausting and nasty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 09:03 PM
5

I found it here :) https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/do-not-move-off-the-sidewalk-challenge-holding-your-space-in-a-white-world.2472174/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 09:02 PM
4

Thank you, I'm sorry that that happened to you as well. To some extent, the subtle nature of it makes it worse because at least if someone's thick enough to say an outright slur or whatever they can't gaslight their way out of it. Look at that guy who worked for Savills who was stupid enough to call footballers the N-word on Twitter. He had the cheek to claim his account had been continuously hacked over the period of... a year. Then he lost his job and the police ransacked his house lmao. Wow, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 09:00 PM
22

Thanks. I think it's because women are socialised to be more accommodating and men to take advantage. It was the same when I shared houses with female and male housemates at uni - I've been one of the few women who pushed the men to pull their weight around the house, tidy after themselves, etc. She clearly loves her baby which is awesome, but I agree that her husband doesn't seem to have the same "anything for my baby/family" attitude, else she would not be "so tired of cooking," etc. There's a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 08:48 PM
57

What a disgusting pickme handmaiden. This mindset is getting worse too. I'm only in my 20s but when I was a teenager there weren't apps like Tiktok encouraging underage girls to do dances for literal pedos in their underwear. Add a few idiot pickme celebrities (not going to name names) "glamorising" things like Lolita, posting sexualised pictures where they are dressed up like kids at Disneyland etc. and it's a downward spiral.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 08:09 PM
15

You're welcome. I understand completely where you're coming from. The attempted harassment and bullying of WOC in public places is insane. I had a white NVM and his wife joke about the possibility of somebody else's trolley bashing into me the other day when I was out shopping. The random third party's trolley was nowhere near me, but they seemed to really enjoy the thought of my possibly being injured by their imaginary fantasy. "Bang! Ha ha ha!" When called out on this, they IMMEDIATELY deflec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 08:02 PM
2

Sis are you sure he's not "negging" you? (Not questioning your relationship, but stuff like "you look so big next to that girl" comes off as really rude to me.) It could be the fact I'm from the UK though and "big" is usually seen as an insult here for women, but it may be different in other cultures. So long as you're sure he has good intentions though :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 07:52 PM
3

What a jealous fucking pick-me bitch. I'm sorry that happened to you sis. A lot of other women sadly internalise misogyny, and this means that "the sisterhood" doesn't exist (for them). Who cares though, he's your husband now and you have the last laugh! <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 07:47 PM
3

Spot on sis. Insecure men cannot make good providers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 07:42 PM
6

"gtfo my inbox Gollum" Omg this made me giggle sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 07:39 PM
2

I would literally just walk out there and then if a guy had lied about his age, height etc. on a date. Clownery from the get go = BYE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 07:38 PM
6

Sis, you are preaching the truth here. A friend of mine who dates A LOT told me about an LVM who tried to triangulate/"neg" her based on girls he was boasting about from Tinder... whom he had not even MATCHED with yet, but he said "This is the quality of woman I'm used to." I'm glad she walked out there and then! Also, having a pick-me consent to an ONS with them is not remotely the same as having a woman seriously interested in them (especially an HVM lol).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 07:37 PM
19

I feel you sis. I'm a 5 ft WOC who loves to dress in a feminine way. I am constantly harassed and bullied by random white strangers. Fortunately I have a strong personality so can dish it out right back, but it is EXHAUSTING. Casual racism is the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 07:28 PM
36

Hi, thank you for commenting :) I'm not married nor with kids, so I wouldn't know off the top of my head what lockdown with kids looks like - good on you for getting through that. I guess I was more highlighting the disparity between what she was doing versus what he was doing? Even after work or on a Sunday, she clearly carried the bulk of the responsibilities. It didn't read like 50/50 which is why FDS says that 50/50 doesn't usually work in practice. I took the "no choice" as implying that sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 07:21 PM
1

Thank you sis! Nailed it 😘😘😘 I don't do "build a boyfriend" no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:16 PM
5

Yep, I have been the "dream girl" to LVM before. Makes no difference, and watch how the way they treat you changes the instant they're told NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:15 PM
2

This is true. I'm in my twenties and don't bother engaging with them tho I can see where OP is coming from. I also hate not having the last word but info just enables these scrotes to manipulate/abuse women more next time (Seriously, I have even heard white guys I KNOW are casually racist discuss how to wokefish WOC, etc...). I tried everything from dropping hints to outright telling an LVX who was making low effort that I expected more from him. He just tried to gaslight me into a relationship …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:14 PM
6

This!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:08 PM
7

That's a very good point sis. The first woman I mentioned outright laughed along with her husband at his stupid "joke." The second one was nicer but didn't call her partner out on his petty remark. If I had been on a date with a guy who'd spoken like that I would have had a word with him about being rude to a stranger. I wasn't even doing anything "out of the norm," though (leaving a supermarket in front of somebody - am I not allowed to walk in front of white people in their eyes? Or sitting in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 09:10 AM
4

OH MY GOD yes. An LVM (whose "dream girl" I was due to being ambitious, career minded etc.) threw a fit at me on Valentines' Day for not responding the way he wanted to his hint we should go out. (Ironically, I did not even REJECT him - he just hinted so vaguely, in that unattractive way LVM do, that I was unsure how to respond and politely brushed the situation over. I was actually interested in him at the time due to not knowing him well!). He seemed to want me to chase, I wasnt having that! H…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 09:44 PM
21

Hit the nail on the head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 07:50 PM
5

I love this post sis! <3 Just watched a female-centred movie last night (Black Widow). It was so good to see a movie about a woman that wasn't just about the male gaze.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 06:50 PM
11

You've just described some of my (former) LVM male friends at uni to a T sis. Lacking validation through bad grades and no graduate job offers, they would try to boost their self esteem by "playing" a lot of pick-me girls through both online dating and club hookups. And then brag about it and try to degrade those girls. They seemed very confident till you saw them whining to their parents about how worried they were about life post uni... LVM/ZVM (I guess the clue is in the name lol) do NOT have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 06:40 PM
30

Personally I’m just more attracted to men who are comfortable in their masculinity and confident and savvy enough to know how to pursue a woman. Likewise. I've dated guys like this before, and would never settle for less. Men who "act like the prize" often try to manipulate women into chasing them. bonus points if it comes with narcissistic and emotionally abusive negging, triangulating, etc. There is nothing more insecure/socially inept!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 06:34 PM
25

This is very very true sis. Men are coddled by the media into believing "free escort = relationship" culture. Also, see how even popular TV shows normalise and glamorise emotionally abusing and manipulating women in the guise of "masculinity." I have been a few LVM's "dream girl" before. I cut that shit out so fast once they started showing the red flags and I let my guard down a bit. Even if you emotionally open up to them a bit, the mask can come off VERY quickly as does the lack of attention …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 06:23 PM
25

Exactly sis. Men make the effort for their "dream girls" unless they're so shy/passive they wouldn't be good partners anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 06:20 PM
19

Have any other WOC noticed that white male strangers can be incredibly rude for no reason? How do you handle it? I was shopping the other day, leaving the store just in front of two groups of people - one of whom had a trolley. A man from the other couple loudly sniggered to his wife "It [the trolley] nearly hit them [me!] Bang!" (This wasn't even what had happened and he was also embarrassing the lady pushing it quite slowly). I called them out on it coldly and they started gaslighting and deny…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 05:33 PM
18

I never bother. They know they just don't care. Plus they often actually get off on having their ego stroked by having the woman give a damn whilst they don't. Narcissist behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 03:58 PM
23

Literally every time I've stopped dating an LVM the "poor me" stuff comes out: saying sorry without meaning it, I know why you feel this way, I've been so busy at work/stressed, etc. Never any attempt to take responsibility just guilt trip the woman. Or worse, neg/emotionally abuse her: "It was your fault I cheated, you didn't pamper me enough wahhh"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 03:57 PM
28

The gaslighting is insane. I would bet GOOD money this guys' mum coddles him and is part of the reason is the way he is too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 10:15 AM
9

This! I would never pay for a guy's share of the bills etc. anyway but don't do wife duties whilst still the GF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 10:14 AM
71

This. Women are expected to do the emotional labour even through breakups.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 10:12 AM
83

I've always liked her! She doesn't have ridiculously oversexualised music videos too like Ariana Grande and so many other female musicians this generation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 09:19 AM
10

Men who wokefish are the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 06:49 PM
4

That's a very good point sis. I have literally been sexually harassed wearing super loose trousers and a trench coat that nipped in at the waist before. My cousin is Muslim and likes to wear oversized clothes all the time and STILL has constant men harassing her where she lives. And as someone with features that would be seen as "exotic" here (the UK), a lot of white scrotes will hypersexualise me/try to push this "bad girl" pornsick image on me which is completely the opposite to who I am and h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 03:59 PM
38

"She's a 6/10 even though she wouldn't touch me with a barge pole" "I only date super hot girls, by super hot I mean with lots of plastic surgery and sleeps with me on the first 'date'" "Relationships should be 50/50, because YOU WANTED EQUALITY" "I have nothing to offer a woman, this makes me the prize"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 12:56 PM
86

I agree 100%. I am what's considered pretty (I look like an actress from a popular teen TV show back in the day), but I like "natural" beauty, would never get lip injections, fillers, etc. I also sometimes dress in a less revealing way. I have noticed that I get attention from the most high-quality guys when I come off in a way that's less overly sexualised. They also appreciate that I haven't gotten plastic surgery, etc. The LVM/NVM porn addicted types, though, REALLY like the whole unrealistic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 12:47 PM
26

Yep. Most pornsick guys have those eyes. And they're also the most likely to "rate women out of 10." I am considered pretty but I have NEVER met a man I'd call remotely HV who rated women out of 10. I literally just see people as either attractive or not. Who the fuck rates people out of 10 like they're objects? That's narcissist behaviour, negging and a red flag for abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 09:54 PM
6

Yep. One of the best posts I've read on FDS. I always take my time, vet vet vet and know actions speak louder than words. My approach gains the reaction of hostility from some scrotes, or "pretending to be the nice guy" from others, only to fall apart and start negging and fuming v quickly once they realise that and lovebombing won't make me suddenly stop vetting/drop standards. Spitefulness is right on, they take JOY from pretending to be what "those entitled bitches!111!" (AKA HVM) want and tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 08:12 PM
3

I have over $6k in my current account (spending money, separate from savings) alone. I panic whenever it goes below a certain amount.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 01:10 AM
5

As a fellow WOC I refuse to date white men who have few friends of colour. I feel you. I've had guys actually hint at preferring women with my features, only to hear them saying racist things about my race when they thought I wasn't around. I will not be a "placeholder" for a white woman it's fucking disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 01:07 AM
6

You hit the nail on the head sis. Pornsick men are just plain fucking useless. Whether it's in having expectations of womens' appearance that don't involve the women getting plastic surgery. Or in the way they approach relationships. They're the ones who ain't enough sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 10:42 PM
5

Yep. LVX will ALWAYS find something to criticise. I've seen friends who literally modelled as a job treated like crap by guys. I'm pretty to the point people of both genders would randomly come up to me at my student retail job and tell me I should model, slim, in shape, dress nicely etc. I have STILL had numerous scrotes try to "neg" me; for not caking on makeup and getting fake nails etc. (but the HVM will praise me for being naturally beautiful); for being petite at 5 ft 1 (but the HVM will g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 10:39 PM
5

Yep. Actions speak louder than words. They try to avoid responsibility by playing the Nice Guy and bumbler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:38 PM
1

Yep, I think there's something also to be said for the kind of guy who tends to go on OLD and sees it as a "meat market" with "something better just around the corner" as opposed to asking out a girl he knows IRL and likes organically. I don't like the "looking for women online" mindset, it seems to go hand in hand with things like following Instagram models and Onlyfans subscriptions these days. OLD almost certainly has a higher than average proportion of LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 09:44 PM
83

The whole "victim mentality" and "pwease I'm just a nice misunderstood bumbling guy" thing is also a thing now. "Very sorry. Not my style. You have every right to be upset with me and I own that. You’re obviously adorable and fun- I just wouldn’t be the best time right now.” It's never their fault they're so sorryyyyy of course you're mad. They basically think saying sorry is enough. How about stop ACTING like a scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 09:04 PM
1

This should be sis's honorary flair
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 08:56 PM
2

bRoS wILl bE bROs /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 08:54 PM
2

LVM will be LVM regardless of if an HVW is clearly an HVW or not.. in fact lots of them prefer trying to "break down" a "challenge" or get her to "lower her standards". Its not your fault sis :) I know because of all the guys I used to straight out block for coming in with angry, bitter nonsense on my profile like "You look like you're high maintenance" LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 08:50 PM
2

That's a really good way of phrasing it. I used to put that I was high maintenance in my bio. I think it's important to get it across if (as per FDS) you don't do 50/50.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 08:47 PM
3

As a similar woman with probably even similar kinds of photos, it's not just you. I've found that the quality on OLD has nosedived over the past couple of years. I used it from 2017-2018, then used it again last year when lockdown lifted for a bit... the men had gotten beyond NVM and I had a very similar kind of profile to the one I used previously. Before, I'd gotten my fair share of LVM interested but also guys who took me on v interesting dates, acted like gentlemen etc. I actually met a guy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 08:45 PM
1

This is true tbf. I've personally stopped using OLD, but I've experienced just as much trash behaviour from guys who've approached me in the gym, supermarket, etc. The best way to vet IRL is probably to date friends or guys that friends who are NOT pickmes/LVM know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 08:39 PM
61

I actually do want him to leave, his wife to level up and possibly find a better man (not hard!), and him to face cold hard reality, that there is no fantasy "happiness" waiting for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 12:03 PM
75

Exactly this. Also, as a regular gym-goer (who also worked part-time in retail as a young pretty woman at university), the WORST sexual harassers too are always in this 50ish age range. They are absolutely disgusting, shameless, and will follow women around the gym, try to sneak pictures, deliberately position themselves behind women on the machines.. you name it. They are delusional, whether or not they've been married before. Literally think women are flattered by their attention and/or try to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 12:01 PM
113

He doesn't even know if her kids like him lol. "I DO BELIEVE they like me" Delusional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 11:58 AM
475

"I told her I loved her FIVE DAYS after I met her" (wife) "We have told each other that we love each other and could never see that changing" ("friend") I've met men like this before. Narcissists. They idealise too quickly, devalue and then discard. They project fantasies onto women hence why they "fall in love" so quickly and assume the same of those women. They hate REALITY which is why he prefers the "fantasy" of a long life with this woman (not gonna happen) to the reality of married life wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 11:53 AM
16

Any tips on "handling" a covert (I think) narcissist till I go no contact? I currently live close by to my mother, but am moving away in a few months once my contract ends. She is incredibly tedious, has health problems (which unfortunately mean I have to visit and keep an eye on her regularly, as well as sometimes WFH at her place) and uses them/her woe is me attitude as an excuse to act like a grown toddler. She screams, shouts, and swears over tiny things sometimes, then acts like a kicked pu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 10:21 AM
2

Yeah, I think The Rules might have mentioned something like it - the "dumb fox" strategy :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 04:09 PM
2

Good luck sis! I am also working on how assertive, etc. I come across. Yep, coming off as "bitchy" to guys like this makes them want you more. It's just plain weird LVM behaviour. They are unable to function outside "games". An advantage though is that they often "open up" and show true colours faster if they think you're "nice". I've often had a guy say some BS on a first date because he thought I would let it slide - and then I'd just block/delete lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 03:57 PM
4

This is true. I'm in my twenties, in a male dominated industry and am ahead for my age. I am "self made," having come from a working class family (with a narc mother!). I wouldn't touch a guy like this with a barge pole. Someone like this might not be able to abuse me based on my salary but he would find something else, maybe "negging" me on my appearance despite my being pretty or some other BS. I know b/c I used to date someone who seemed like he would have been like this if I had earned less.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 03:27 PM
7

Yep. I used to work retail part-time at university and my co-workers who were often struggling to make ends meet (they worked minimum wage, were middle-aged and had families to feed etc.) would cook stuff and bring it in for people to eat in the break room regularly. It's hospitality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 03:23 PM
3

This. Wealth doesnt buy class.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 03:22 PM
5

Yep. I probably come off as a pick me sometimes tbh (I am "nice" to everyone and "bubbly") on the OUTSIDE. So I've had some narc/LVM guys fly in my direction as a result. They pick what they think are easy targets. I have strong boundaries though... a narc mum has made me grow a very strong personality! And the instant they realise that, experience pushback, watch the narc rage and cognitive dissonance come out. I've been "negged" by LVM quite a few times as a result (and of course they can neve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 03:16 PM
6

"According to you all" she probably deserves better? Denial till the last. What a little asswipe. And notice how he also tries to PIN THE BLAME for their breaking up on random Redditors. Laughable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 03:12 PM
55

I have anxiety. In my pre FDS days, I was climbing a mountain with a scrote and had a panic attack on the way down (I am scared of heights). He literally just walked off and barely even seemed to notice how anxious I clearly was. Half of me was panicking whilst also absolutely feeling furious at how he was doing the opposite of what I wanted. I called him out on it on the phone later shortly before ending things with him, explaining that I have a fear of heights and he should have paid more atte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 03:09 PM
12

I'm a WOC, and one of the most outspoken "woke male feminists" I know, who would even call out strangers for making casually racist remarks towards me, turned out to be an LVM who'd use ethnic slurs and mock the way POC immigrants spoke with his "bros" behind closed doors. A narcissist white guy who thought himself better than people from "third world countries". He had a thing for me too. I wonder if he really agreed with what he said or was just putting on an act to impress me. Probably the la…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:44 PM
1

I'll take a look at those too! Thanks OP and good luck :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:20 PM
-6

Have you read the FDS Handbook?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:20 PM
2

I read it earlier today and have been reusing it lol! Yep, I follow lots of travel accounts and I swear it's gotten worse lately too. Even a couple of years ago it was mostly actually travel pics. Now, every other page is a similar looking girl with the same makeup and barely wearing clothes. And scrotes hunt these pages down out of mental illness and not seeing women as human, thereby adding to their popularity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:11 PM
1

You're very welcome <3 Once you have dated a few narcs (I did pre FDS and learned about narcissism earlier this year) the pattern becomes so so obvious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 05:55 PM
1

Yep, it's a very quick and easy way to vet sis :) And tell if, as you say, a guy is just using it to follow thirst traps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 05:54 PM
2

It wasn't worth the price on my old account just to see who had viewed it, but yeah - I already knew it was to do with him anyway. That city is tiny and I don't know anyone else from there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 05:53 PM
14

Very wise sis. I'm also wary of social media. SO easy for people to stalk you on Instagram etc. not to mention save pics. I am however on LinkedIn. I have an old account from about a year ago I didn't realise I still had till about a week ago when I logged on. It just has the bare details like my name, where I went to university and worked prior to my current job. I recently remembered it existed and logged in to close it down. Lo and behold, on the "profile views", there was somebody from the c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 08:01 PM
8

Yep, they sometimes even treat female friends like "things" they "own". Watch how lots of close "male friends" will start sulking and become distant when they find out you're going out with someone else. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 06:28 PM
11

So much this. I had an LVM male friend (whom I actually genuinely liked a lot romantically, to the point our mutual friends would joke about us being bf and gf) throw a MASSIVE tantrum, sulk, ignore me, and try to triangulate me against women he was thinking of asking out. Not even because I rejected him! But I didn't respond to his advances by kissing his ass like he was used to, I was more reserved although still obviously friendly and interested. THAT was a crime in his mind. Mean woman not b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 06:25 PM
5

This is spot on. Idealise, devalue then discard. They do it to all girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 06:21 PM
11

This. I have to say though, as someone who's soon going to be in her mid 20s, and dating mid-late 20s guys who seem to "have it together" like OP's guy - it worries me how many guys like that are out there these days. Even "normal" seeming guys I know as friends seem to be following celebrity women who post revealing pics, Tiktok influencer girls, etc. Is the bar from what's "normal" in hell these days? OP should definitely stick to her standards though, and OP I'm sorry that this happened. I'm …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 03:47 PM
11

100% this. My mum is a narc, and incredibly emotionally abusive growing up. They will play the saint in public and abuse behind closed doors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 11:32 AM
13

It honestly makes me wonder if there wasn't also some kind of sexual/physical abuse going on between the scenes. As someone with (attempted) controlling, boundary-less family members - this wouldn't surprise me in the slightest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 11:30 AM
4

Thank you sis! :) I've noticed that guys who appreciate "classy" looking women (and not in an LVM "let's drag her down/use her for money") way tend to be more HV. Lmao! LVM just end up showing themselves up when they say crap like that. It's like when they say that women are "too entitled" and are raised on a diet of watching porn where women give away easy sex in made up storylines. I don't see why guys like that don't just stick to the women they prefer in that case. 🙄 And I've literally start…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 11:02 AM
3

Thanks sis. It doesn't surprise me that it's a disorder - men are becoming very pornsick and filters are constant even on things like Instagram stories. It's a good way of weeding out the ones who view women through a screen IMHO. Young girls are also developing body dysmorphia due to constant comparison with people on Tiktok etc. I can't find the Quora thread - did you have the name please? Thank you :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 10:57 AM
1

I have definitely noticed this, yep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 10:55 AM
20

It's when they start doing the sob stories too. I'm a very compassionate person, but I have a narc mum and would never date a guy who also drained me like that. And then you see their enabling mums and it all makes sense...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:54 PM
18

Plus LVM male friends will often treat their female friends just as badly as the girls they date. Like, I had a (now ex) friend who'd shared Facebook pictures of his other female friends in bikinis at the beach, etc. in a Whatsapp group for our course at university. The instant I saw this I blocked/unfriended him on everything. Because he didn't respect women regardless of if he dated them or not plus it was a BIG privacy risk and disgusting behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:52 PM
42

Omg yes. tHoSE gRaPEs wERe SoUR aNYwaY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:51 PM
38

Classic narcissist behaviour sis. Idealise, devalue, discard - its no reflection on you at all. You are a Queen <3 Google negging and what disgusting behaviour it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 02:48 PM
6

Interesting, thanks sis. I wonder if it's even just the "look" or the kind of culture that goes along with it (sexualised social media culture often encourages women to look like that). I don't know a lot of women who look like that, but those who do also have Instagram accounts where they pose in bikinis, etc. (while working regular office jobs). That also seems to draw a lot of LVM unwanted attention as you say. Maybe LVM also are more likely to go for women who seem more likely to sleep with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 12:58 PM
8

That's very true sis :). Yeah - I've seen LVM guys I knew at university both simultaneously idealise these kinds of girls, then (in the off chance they got to date them) feel threatened, try to drag them down, slut-shame them, etc. I've been LVM's "prize girl" numerous times before myself (I match the "good girl" image very well for conservative guys) and it's of no value to me. They can never live up to the standards they themselves set, and start trying to drag women down the moment they act "…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 12:52 PM
1

No, I'll phrase it how I choose, thanks. Although womens' definitions of "high value" will obviously vary, a man who judges women by how much they live up to a very porn and plastic surgery influenced "standard" is very much going to be considered LVM here on FDS, same as a pornsick guy and/or a guy who follows lots of "Instagram models" with that surgery is going to be considered LVM. I'm sure you'd agree with me that guys who watch porn are not HVM, of course. The whole industry is anti women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 12:43 PM
6

"We were not made to please princes" "Will you remain here with the father who tried to sell you, or the prince who hoped to buy you, or the man too weak to solve his riddles for himself? Or will you come with me and be the bride to nothing but the shore?" "That is the problem with even lesser demons. They come to you doorstep in velvet coats and polished shoes. They tip their hats and smile and demonstrate good table manners. They never show you their tails". "You are woth more than that. You s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 12:00 AM
1

Interestingly this is why I don't post bikinis/thirst traps. Even though I love fitness and could arguably also be "showing off my abs" or whatever. It attracts the worst, scrotey kinds of LVM to Instagram pages. Not to mention downright creeps, nasty old perverts etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 07:52 PM
1

I know this is a relatively older post but had to comment. You're dead on sis - I don't do OLD any more, but when I did I could have sniffed the "manosphere" type guys (who started insulting me when I refused to "come chill" to the point I had to block, delete and was actually scared) out a mile away. There's just something off about them it's like they're not human and don't see women as human. These are also the sorts of guys who "rate women out of 10" and other crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 07:51 PM
5

I never claimed that women who look like that are pick-mes, though? As stated above, I have certainly noticed a correlation - but I was thinking more about we may actually "filter out" LVM through choice of dress, makeup etc., even when it's done unintentionally. Of course there's nothing wrong with a woman getting lip fillers or a boob job or whatever, but when it's borderline expected to meet slobby scrotes and their porn enhanced standards then it's wrong. It's kind of like the "what's an acc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 07:28 PM
14

You have missed the point of my post completely. Men who *expect* women to get a very specific look (which tends to involve a lot of plastic surgery especially lip fillers and breast enhancements, revealing clothing, etc), and "neg" or "rate" women based on that and how much they live up to this often porn influenced and ridiculous plastic "beauty standard," tend to be LVM. A man who expects his woman to come looking like she has been through a Snapchat filter 24/7, and judges women off Photosho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 06:42 PM
17

Yep. Bumble literally filters for the sorts of guys who want to be "the prize" and "chased" and will complain "well you wanted equality!" when expected to pay for the first date. AKA LVM low effort men. I've only been on a few dates from there, both massive scrotes even by OLD standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 05:41 PM
20

Has anyone noticed that HVM tend to prefer women who look more "natural," whereas LVM, esp. sex addicted LVM, go for the whole sex doll, Instagram makeup, pornified revealing outfits look? And HVM tend to compliment women on their looks whereas LVM will either narcissistically idealise them into goddesses or cut them down? Recently "blocked and deleted" an LVM who tried to neg and pit me against "high maintenance" looking women - the Instagram model types who wear a ton of makeup, etc. Funny thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 05:20 PM
8

Yo I was straight up about to report the fuck out of this post until I saw it was tagged Humor and realized it was satire. Monday morning lulz! Hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 07:53 AM
8

I've found Hinge one of the worst dating apps. Maybe Bumble is even worse because of the "woman messaging first" thing. Ironically Tinder, which has a reputation for being a hookup app, is where I've met the best guys.. not sure if it's a numbers thing tho as I got so many matches/convos I could just cut out the LVM immediately. But I don't even do OLD now b/c of privacy reasons and scrotes screenshotting profiles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 11:50 AM
7

It's the biggest turn off lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 09:25 PM
117

I actually don't think it's even that supportive of consent, hated the song from the get go because of this lyric early on: What you doin'? (What you doin'?) Where you at? (Where you at?) Oh, you got plans? (You got plans?) Don't say that (shut yo' trap) Not very HVM to be telling a girl to "shut up" if she's got other plans. Sounds like a breadcrumbing LVM who then gets angry and bitter if the girl says "she has plans". Just a scrotey song in general
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 01:11 PM
10

I've never watched the movie, what are the red flags out of curiosity? Thank you sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 11:10 AM
24

Pick me mums are dangerous. They're a thing in my culture too, and you see sons getting away with creepy behaviour and all sorts of crap because of mums favouring songs over their daughters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 11:03 AM
18

This. I had to grow up quickly (narc mother who acted like a child, dysfunctional family) and family friends used to remark on how mature I was for my age. I was still a complete idiot in my early 20s. And yet those are the kinds of girls predators target.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 11:01 AM
18

Yep. And they say women "are expired" by 25.. what nonsense it's about control and wanting easily manipulated young girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 11:00 AM
24

The point about never knowing real thoughts is right on. I'm also from the UK which is a majority white country, so have dated lots of white guys for whom race wasn't an issue. But then there are those you see saying racist stuff to their friends, or treating WOC as a "second best option." Hence the entitlement because "she's Asian how could she say no to me!" The ones who "wokefish" (AKA pretend to be super non racist) are also often those who have secret racist views. I once rejected a guy lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 10:58 AM
186

I was talking about it to my friend on the phone a few weeks ago and she suspected him RIGHT away. Especially due to the age difference. This is the kind of controlling scrote who whinges about "women 18 to 21 are in their prime" and "women past 25 are ugly." Let that sink in. Let's also point out the whole WMAF dynamic here. As a WOC this is terrifying. The guy ended a life because his fragile male ego couldn't take her leaving. This is why women must be careful vetting. RIP poor girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 08:22 PM
3

Yep, the show literally tried to normalise and make stuff like that mainstream. Some men see stuff like that and see it as reality, that's the problem. Can I just say thank you for that ❤❤❤ It means a lot, especially as I know the next few months of my life are going to be hard. But I'll get through them ❤❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 08:06 PM
45

Is it just me or has this gotten so bad lately? I love travel so have followed lots of Instagram pages since I joined in 2015, but recently my feed has just been loads of pornified looking pics of the same looking girls (plastic surgery lips, ten pounds of makeup, the same outfit or just a bikini etc.) in a generic location with a dumb UNRELATED caption like "love this for me". The girl is always either posing in an oversexualised manner and/or with eyes looking elsewhere and that "caught in hea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 05:03 PM
18

Or someone who's just rejected them and they can't fuck. I have been the "dream girl" of LVM who've done such a U turn after being rejected.. going from literally idolising me to trying to get me socially ostracised, nasty names, negging and triangulation against other women etc. They want a FANTASY not reality. Which is why pick mes are required to bend over backwards and not be human to please these little scrotes. The WORST example of this was when I actually liked him (in my pre FDS days) bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:23 PM
30

Yep, and it also seems like a clear "neg". Trying to get OP thinking she is being "assessed," totally not on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:03 PM
21

This. Sounds like the sort of weirdo who "rates women out of 10".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:03 PM
24

🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩 I also agree with the lady who said future faking! Block + delete
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:01 PM
83

Not socially appropriate and hence a red flag. trust your instinct here sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:01 PM
10

So much this! When "male feminism" equals "mansplaining" and tone policing...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:25 PM
24

I am sick to death of "male feminists" "wokefishing." As a WOC I have also seen white men pretend to be sooo anti racist etc. to try to impress me and my fellow WOC, but I have seen those guys say questionable bigoted things behind closed doors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:24 PM
73

I wonder how many women experience street harassment (because we all know EVERY woman is harassed on the street) as a direct result of pornsick fantasies and rape culture. Or how many LVM/NVM become aggressive, entitled and demanding to sex (esp. after meeting off online dating) due to ideas they get from porn. I have personally dated a guy like this before (dumped him and told him off right away). I don't know how I'm lucky it's just one. Let's not mention unrealistic body standards. I'm fit (I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:21 PM
15

I think part of it was definitely jealousy. I had older women commenting that the dowdy retail trousers I was wearing were too tight (they were a size too large!), looking me up and down and talking like I wasn't there, making my everyday tasks difficult, etc. I agree, I had barely any issues in actual university thankfully. I was also very popular at school. When it came to the customers, too, younger female customers around my age were usually the nicest. But the middle-aged and older ones wer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:17 PM
3

What sort of racism does one encounter there? I always thought Canada (esp the bigger cities) was really multicultural, but I've heard on the grapevine about some white Canadian guys being casually racist sadly. And that misogyny can also be bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:12 PM
16

Thank you sis. Yes, the worst bullying by far was from the full-time workers there, who were middle-aged and resented me from the get go. Sadly racism in the UK is still a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:48 PM
58

Great post! Speaking of Vice, my friend shared an article from them earlier today about how younger generations of boys are being raised to be more openly anti-feminist too. MRAs and incels are actually recruiting and targeting younger men online. I agree Vice is usually trash but this did have some good points. It's terrifying how, while girls are being groomed into OnlyFans and pickme behaviours, young men are being radicalised online: https://www.vice.com/en/article/dyv7by/anti-feminist-gen-z…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:44 PM
41

This, except I would also be cool back. I really sympathise btw OP. I worked in retail through university part-time, and was subtly bullied for being the only POC at my workplace. Gossip and jealousy is not fun and you said/did nothing wrong it's just her insecurities. Honestly I would just keep on being cold if it was me. Or at least cool and professional girl. That song she sung was WELL out of order.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:14 PM
15

I would be so tempted to say this ngl sis! Haha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:11 PM
32

Well said sis. Culture is going backwards. These days, men trying to impress/treat women is called "simping" and other stupid terms. But pushing rape culture and underage girls doing dances on Tiktok is seen as normal, empowering, etc.?? Clownery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:17 PM
16

I agree! It's nuts how upset guys get over HVW with standards that they know they can't meet. Cool, Chris, go find yourself a pickmeisha with bikini pics all over Tinder who will agree to a "walk date" and breadcrumbs - there are lots out there I'm sure...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:02 AM
12

Agreed! OP's post reminded me of an LVM I used to know (as an ex friend) who'd literally screenshot the profiles of girls off Tinder and share them around our Whatsapp group asking people to "rate" them. My narc mother is also like this. She'll deliberately try to share the most personal private information about others to spite them. She used to go and visit my cousin and come back and say to me and my brothers, "I think she's on her period."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 10:53 AM
31

And incest being glamorised on shows like Game of Thrones, etc. as well. It's just the sort of thing that blurs boundaries in pornsick minds. The last place young women should be feeling unsafe is in their fucking homes among relatives. I have creepy male family members. So glad I'm going NC on that side of the family soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 09:18 PM
4

Thank you :) It's just unnecessary though, there weren't even guys around lol. I try to support other women too, but sometimes I do and then they throw it back in my face. I agree completely, women face enough misogyny from guys without also getting it from our sisters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 09:15 PM
4

Omg sis! Tell me! I've had guys brag to me on OLD about being over 6 ft like I should worship them for it or something. Dude do you want a fucking medal? Dick is abundant and low value, regardless if it comes attached to a guy over 6 ft or not. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 07:19 PM
4

As posted above, I'm short and have experienced lots of jerkiness from taller women. Sorry that you have come across short jerks yourself! I agree that it is very PickMe behaviour though (regardless of height) to try to bring down other women they see as "different". I also dislike women like that. As for the reason, LVM love to "triangulate" women whom they see as having different characteristics and play them off against each other, which some pickmes play right into. I've had LVMs try to play…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 07:16 PM
13

I bet you're gorgeous sis! Yes, I once went on a bar crawl on holiday and a random taller woman I'd met about five minutes ago started going on about my height and trying to insult me for it. Such pick-me ish behaviour lmao. And yes, men will definitely harass those they see as weak more, I agree that it can be exhausting at times. Casual racism combined with sexual harassment combined with pick me hate from other women. I wouldn't blame you in the slightest if you reacted and if people stereoty…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 07:11 PM
22

I guess that explains why so many LVM act the way they do there and start demanding "pIcS tO KnOW yOuR nOt a CaTFiSH" right off the bat. It's so weird, they will regret it and I know for a fact loads of guys screenshot women on there (even those they don't match with) and show their mates. It is why I stopped OLD and I never posted anything too revealing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 07:05 PM
156

And don't mention even things like Tiktok where it's seen as the "norm" now for underage girls to do sexualised dances for the world to see. Just wtf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:43 PM
56

It amazes me how this is even legal, it's literally promoting incest/abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:34 PM
19

Just wanted to say get well soon sis, surgery is no slouch :) Take it easy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:26 PM
58

You nailed it in your last paragraph sis. I'm only in my 20s but there's no denying feminism is going backwards in lots of ways. The "normalisation" of Onlyfans and sex work, even modern fashion is getting ridiculously revealing, women ruining their lives is being seen as "empowering," online dating culture is turning men into LVM and women into pick-mes, etc. My cousin (who is religious but uses OLD) was showing me some of the girls he matches with on online dating the other day. He's 19 and at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:24 PM
49

Exactly. It's about as "empowering" as Ariana Grande's "Positions" sadly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcYodQoapMg&ab\_channel=ArianaGrandeVevo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:21 PM
1

Well I really appreciate it! Right back at you sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:03 PM
10

It was absolutely disgusting. Men like that can and do turn dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 06:02 PM
49

LVM/NVM are just trying to get sex for the least effort and then get salty when women also have requirements lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:54 PM
254

SpareRoom is disturbing when it comes to men. NO online space is safe for women. I took a gap year before going to university and worked full-time in retail as a junior manager before travelling. I sent a room advertised as "Professionals only!" a message, explaining politely what I was looking for, where I worked etc. and could I come for a viewing. The man who was subletting the room sent me a nasty message back along the lines of "I said professionals only - working in retail is not a profess…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 12:28 PM
85

I am 5 ft 1 and harassed constantly, even in "nicer" cities and areas. As a WOC, I also often face casual racism on top of this. Love your height sis. I too have been "negged" by LVM about my height, claiming that "if only you were a few inches taller you'd be perfect, 5 ft 3 to 5 ft 6 girls are the ideal height, blah blah..." It's not about you, but THEM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:56 AM
1

Thank you so much queen! Your post made my day :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:48 AM
47

This is very true, I'm ahead in my career (I work in a male-dominated industry) for a girl my age and have both dated narcs and come from a narc family. My narc mother would go and brag to family friends/relatives as a kid about how I'd won sports medals, got good grades etc., and then emotionally abuse and break me down at home. The woman didn't REALLY care about me just how I made her look. Still working on going NC with her. The LVMs I dated as an adult tried to do similar.. it was all about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 10:35 AM
3

Omg hahahahaha And yes! (to the OC)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 09:21 AM
6

Yep, when people say "this type of guy also has expectations!" it's just another way to try to put women down lol. It's the "he's just not that into you" kind of mindset, again making women feel like that they "have to" settle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 08:41 AM
18

This is my covert narc mother to the core. She speaks to my brothers in a "my baby" fawning simpering tone of voice. I have literally caught them taking money from her wallet before and she blows it off and calls a "meeting" with them and me where I'm made out to be the "scapegoat" in narcissistic fashion. Meanwhile I get screamed at for helping around the house (I live nearby and visit regularly as she's got health problems - thankfully moving away soon) with her "stress" as an excuse. And told…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:06 AM
2

"She thinks she's all that! You're not as pretty as that other girl anyway!". SO much this sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:11 AM
3

Preach sis! And they hate it LOL https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nj6vga/when\_their\_lame\_manbrags\_are\_deeply\_unimpressive/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:07 AM
2

It's so insidious and controlling from them! Thanks again, I am going to view it as something to look forwards to now instead (which it IS) and keep busy till then ❤️ Good luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:23 PM
16

It's also a common narcissist behaviour. The "bumbler" who ends up passive aggressively ruining the quality of someone else's life. I am living next to my narc mother for a few months due to her health problems, and go over to visit/sometimes WFH regularly there. She will constantly do disgusting things like use my comb I bring over to her place and leave her filthy hair stuck in it, leave blood encrusted plasters next to the hand soap in the bathroom, sing loudly at the top of her voice in the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 03:54 PM
35

Not to mention beauty is subjective, in the eye of the beholder. (this INFURIATES LVM who try to bring down women by rating them out of 10, triangulating them against each other, "negging" etc etc). I have dated guys who were good looking but most people would not consider "the most beautiful man in the world," however when you are in love/loved by someone they become that person TO YOU. It wouldn't matter if Henry Cavill was in the same room lol.. I was only interested in them (and lucky enough…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 03:20 PM
46

"But women should get married and have kids before they turn into old infertile hags past the age of 25! They shouldn't be masculine and get educated/a career!" -every whiny scrote ever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 03:08 PM
3

Thank you sis, really appreciate it ❤️ Yep, part of me is scared to move away which makes no sense because I literally lived/went to uni on the other side of the country for years and years and was happy. My mum is putting thoughts in my head about how "it's not safe" and other crap. That's such an inspiring thought, will take it a day at at time. Thank you, I will do ❤️ and best of luck to you too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:30 AM
7

This! I love your writing style OC! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 08:09 AM
8

Number 5 is HUGE these days. The problem is that even if you don't swipe for a guy he can still view your profile and screenshot a pic of it. So even if you're screening for higher value guys but a LVM ugly scrote pops up every now and then, he can save your pics/profile and send them to his equally LVM friends to "rate out of 10" and other crap. I have seen LVM (ex!) male friends/relatives do this - literally NO respect for womens' privacy. Been in Whatsapp groups, with hundreds of people from …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:38 PM
9

The usual "what about the menZ". Complete failure to address how mens' often emotional abuse, manipulation and bullying into sex disguised as "dating strategies" can leave women with long lasting mental health problems. And how even social media like Twitter normalises this with their bullshit "man treats woman like shit! Tehe so funny!" spiel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:01 PM
8

It's why I don't even post pics of myself on Insta (I'm pretty, into fashion etc) b/c I like to have a public Insta. Because I know how the Internet/LVM LOVES to tear down pictures of women online from behind the safety of their screens. Its even worse than street harassment. Funny because I had an ugly, fat, bald scrote shouting something at me from his car today. I am talking VERY ugly, middle aged creeper ugly. the INSTANT I looked at him he turned away looking abashed b/c he probably knew ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:58 PM
4

Yep girl. I'm WOC too and am suspicious of white guys who love to "wokefish" and pretend to be liberal. Esp if they are all about hitting on WOC, but seem to have no actual WOC (or MOC) friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:33 PM
7

You just hit the nail on the head for me! I myself follow loads of celebrities, even people like VS models, Karlie Kloss, Elsa Hosk etc. are really interesting and post lots of fitness advice too. As I love fitness I also follow the popular fitness models like Alexis Ren! For some reason though I find it hard to follow "Instagram models" the same way (don't get me started on OF girls). They all have the same look, even same skin tone a lot of the time, heavy foundation, lip fillers etc. They'll …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:28 PM
7

I'm planning on doing so shortly, I'm moving away (moved back to close to where I grew up for a few months) to where my narc/emotionally abusive family can't reach me. Think a pick-me mum and creepy male relatives my pick-me mum tries to make every possible excuse to leave me alone with when I visit her. It's tough though. Even just living close to them is a mental drain. I almost can't think ahead although I'm usually an optimistic happy person. Problem is, I've paid upfront till mid-July on th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 03:33 PM
17

I remember watching The Incredibles as a kid and getting upset because a lot of it is so incredibly sexist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:03 PM
8

I honestly wonder WTF is wrong with people who do this. As someone with creepy male relatives (soon to go NC on that side of the family) it's disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:59 PM
12

This is true. In my pre FDS days I had a few close male friends "like brothers" I wouldn't have dated because of their attitude towards women. They would ALWAYS come to me for advice on girls, and share more than they should have. Emotionally cheating IMO. They all made it clear (when single) they were interested in me too. Now I wouldn't trust a guy who had a girl he was that emotionally close to...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:58 PM
7

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA In other words about to kick off eight seasons of fantasy drama!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:56 PM
14

Thanks, yep it's being raised to see women as objects through garbage like porn, misogyny in society etc. and then being slapped in the face when they are reminded that women are actual *human beings* with *boundaries*. I've been doing a lot of reading on narcissism lately as sadly lots of my close family members are narcissists. I'd say society encourages men to be narcissistic, esp. re. women and how they treat them. Even some common "dating advice" is borderline emotional abuse (and I don't e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 03:32 PM
108

Exactly. Look at how this little scrote tries to frame it as her being the one acting strangely, when in reality he is filming and harassing a total stranger. Dishing it out but cannae take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 11:09 AM
68

Men are coddled by society so much that when women react in justifiable ways (like this one) they literally go all SHOCKED PIKACHU FACE. Sorry not sorry Mommy never told you no. Its the same face as when I've told loser mommies' boys I used to date, no, I will not allow you to speak to me like that, or start "chasing" you in response to your immature "negging."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 11:08 AM
13

Glad to hear - all the best sis :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 03:27 PM
34

I'm sorry to hear that. Scrotes are raised to not see women as human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 03:05 PM
28

The (twice my size) guy who tried to shove me out of the way as he tried to enter the self service area FROM THE EXIT today, only to get elbowed by me instead? And start grumbling? He was a dicktim. The family friend who started on me on a Zoom call earlier today, because I was complaining about an LVM I used to date cyberstalking me, and that he had previously hated that I knew how pretty I was? Who said that "you're not as pretty as you think you are," and then whined after I gave her a taste …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 03:05 PM
12

Yep thats a narc thing to do (keeping you up). My narcissist mother recently injured herself and I had to stay with her and keep an eye on things for a time.. every night at around 1am, she would suddenly "have" to start slamming doors, washing up loudly, clattering spoons and pots and pans in the kitchen etc. She would also need to create chaos or arguments, make a face and try to disrupt my peace etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:22 AM
3

SO MUCH THIS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:03 PM
1

Yep. The story about the boss resonates too, I had a manager at my part time student job who was just like that. These kinds of men are narcissists or just raised to be very self centred. I got my hair cut today (recut, as I had to complain about how badly it was done the first time!). I mentioned in my bad review that I had felt spoken down to by my hairdresser. The manager of the salon agreed to recut it but turned it into an argument! Trying to lecture me on how my layers were done, telling m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:58 PM
17

I'm pretty (something LVM tend to hate me knowing). I'm also radfem. I have had to deal with sexual harassment for SO LONG. In these situations. How can you NOT be radfem when you are unable to relax b/c of harassment: -from "good guy" male family members, whose pickme wives turned a blind eye or even tried to call attention to my looks by deliberately saying sexual things about me or talking about my private lives around them -walking out of the hospital after treatment for something severe and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 07:18 PM
65

Yep. In ALL situations. The word SORRY is foreign to many men. I called out a man for bumping into me twice in the supermarket yesterday in the same aisle. I honestly don't think it was in a creepy way but just being careless, not because he was with his wife/kid but I can just tell that he wasn't being creepy. (His kid was also running around nearly knocking people over and screaming). That however did not make it OK. He started gaslighting HARDCORE instead of apologising. First: "I didn't!" Me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 09:24 PM
10

My LVM I used to date has been stalking me! I got a HUGE scare over the weekend. I created a LinkedIn a year ago with some basic details about myself (university, school etc) but it was linked to an old email account, and for some reason I could NOT change it to my new email. So I just made a new LinkedIn and took care to make it more private. On a whim I logged into the "old" account this weekend, meaning to delete it... And you know where it shows who's searched you up? I got a profile view fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 08:26 PM
5

Very well said, can't judge narcs by "normal people standards." They dont make sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:22 PM
1

That's strange! Is OLD as prevalent as in NY too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:21 PM
2

Sorry to hear that. Yeah, it's weird how Trudeau went from literal blackface in his 20s to suddenly "wokefishing" through his election.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:50 AM
1

Thanks. What makes the dating scene so bad? Is it Canadian guys in general or Toronto in particular? I always thought it was really multicultural/liberal like London and so less likely to be racist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:47 AM
12

It's scary how accurate this is as someone who's dated a covert narc before and has close family members who are narcs. My mum's "good family friends" would probably all tell you what a saint she is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:44 AM
21

Could you expand on this please? I'm a WOC thinking of moving to Vancouver or Toronto in a few years (my company has offices in both). I dated a Canadian guy a few years ago, and he seemed more liberal and progressive at first, then I realised he was "wokefishing" and actually v sexist and racist. Is this common of Canadian men? Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 06:28 PM
38

Thanks sis :). Yep, he wanted me at first because I was or quite similar to his "dream girl" archetype - well spoken, etc. Then he started getting more and more demanding, causing drama for no reason etc. He would constantly bring up woe is me past trauma too, trying to guilt trip me into doing more for him. It was weird, because as you say he had a LOT of other pick-me types chasing him from the get go. He would literally whinge about how other women sucked up to him so much! (this was in my pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:15 PM
41

Yep. I'm petite at 5 ft 1. Most taller guys I have dated have loved it and the taller HVM have seemed to pamper me more because of it. Shorter guys seem to prefer taller girls? The only tall guy I've been involved with who didn't seem to like it as much was a weird LVM, he hated even his own looks, talked about getting cheekbone surgery despite looking fine. He constantly talked about preferring girls who were 5 ft 4 to 5 ft 11 in front of me. I ended it quickly. Can't stand LVM "neggers". ALSO …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:14 PM
8

Exactly. He sounds like more potential trouble. OP, as a gym goer myself I would seriously tell the staff and make sure they record this, and take it seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 12:07 PM
11

Agreed sis. They benefit from privileges and so gaslight women into believing they don't exist, that lib feminism and stuff like barely legal girls doing Onlyfans is "empowering," blah blah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 04:36 PM
6

Yeah, it's an ad in the same way tobacco companies' funded research conveniently shows "smoking isn't so bad for you" :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 06:50 AM
7

Could you please share more on this? I find history so interesting! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 06:47 AM
4

I'm sorry to hear that :(. Yep, I'm very knowledgeable about fitness and know what a healthy body fat percentage is! It was just an ugly, insecure NVM lashing out. He didn't even have the balls to say it loudly - just muttered it, what a loser haha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 10:30 PM
282

wAtCHing MoVIEs This loser wants to "Netflix and chill" at THIRTY FOUR smh...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 05:50 PM
44

It's the fantasy that gets me sis! I too am conventionally attractive but have some "niche" hobbies and interests plus a "quirky" personality. Men either try to treat me like I'm a brainless pick-me type or a Manic Pixie Dream Girl and are then threatened when I don't behave as they expect. Guys even feel threatened when attractive women don't dress how they expect. I am 5 ft and slim (UK size 4, US size 0) but like to wear oversized clothing even at this time of year. I was just walking down th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 03:13 PM
20

Yep! I'm a gym rat and he is scrawny AF. Not to mention the gross racist use of the word "Chinaman." Just negative value man all round
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:33 PM
10

It's amazing how "teen porn" is even legal. It literally promotes paedophilia. I read on a news site about how the top videos on a lot of sites are of things like "stepdad gets with little girl" or some crap??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:50 PM
6

You are an amazing parent :). Out of curiosity, how do you also educate them on the false "beauty standard" on social media, and that the images presented as a result of plastic surgery, Facetuning apps, etc. aren't real?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:29 PM
10

The concept of "femininity" these days is often pornographic thats the issue. I'm in my 20s, so a bit older than you, and highly "feminine" in the way I dress, present myself etc. I love dresses and looking girly. However I don't cake on Insta makeup, have never considered fillers/cleavage enhancements, don't get the tacky long fake nails. To be honest, even 5 years ago or so, these were not as much of a "thing." Please don't be shamed sis. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:23 PM
10

Amen to that sis. Young girls being pressurised into doing dances in their underwear or downright sexually inappropriate like the "spit challenge" on the Internet for eternity. WTF? This wasn't the case when I was growing up and Im just a few years older than you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:20 PM
7

Good for you sis! I get SO MUCH hate (including from other women which is saddest) when I dress up, curl my hair, put on perfume, etc. It's sad. PickMe behaviour. When you're walking past a random woman and she makes a face and a catty remark.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:16 PM
2

Very best of luck! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:25 AM
2

You can always de-hermitize again and make friends :). A camper van sounds amazing, go for it sis! It would be such a nice way to travel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:29 PM
8

Very good post sis (and sadly relatable). As a WOC, I'm always leery of wokefishing men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:19 PM
9

Like LVM when they get HVW and then get big-headed and try to "neg" her and bring her down to his level
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:52 PM
9

Yep. Another red flag. Haven't read the Handbook for a while but it should be in there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:51 PM
16

Your first paragraph was literally what Ian Somerhalder wrote about Nikki Reed earlier in the week, I wanted to barf! https://www.buzzfeed.com/alexgurley/ian-somerhalder-nikki-reed-millions-debt And the second one is the whole looking for a "strong mommy bangmaid" thing - yep nailed it. Pickme at its finest. I just realised too, their "compliments" say so much. "Strong woman" is an LVM compliment and a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:45 PM
21

Yep. It's not a compliment. It's workhorse kind of strong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:41 PM
17

In my pre FDS days, the LVM would never call me beautiful etc. Only talk about what I could do for them, how popular, etc. I was, how I made them feel. Very similar to "strong women" talk (and red flags for narcs). Meanwhile the HVM were all about telling me how gorgeous I was, doing stuff for me, making sure I felt comfortable etc etc. The LVM almost wanted to be babied and "courted"!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:39 PM
7

Disgusting. Sorry to hear that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:37 PM
2

It's gone from "sexy and classy" to just plain disgusting yes. Porn is a massive industry with a lot of power and it's got influence everywhere, not to mention it's being seen as more "normalised" with rubbish like Onlyfans around. Any tips on being a semi hermit sis? Sounds like a great life lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:37 PM
1

You're right it doesn't even look nice. And yes, I have always attracted the best HVM when looking my most natural or with just a bit of classy makeup etc. Even guys I don't know will be "gentlemen" and hold the door, ask if I need help with directions etc. Whereas the lowest quality guys who are porn addicted, looking for bangmaids go for the "plastic surgery" looking girls. Yep, why would you get Botox in your early 20s? It makes no sense. Even if it looks better on Instagram its not worth it.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:33 PM
25

Yep. "Serious woman bad! Has boundaries! Said no to me!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:10 PM
100

And the "strong women" bit! I'm a "strong woman" (argumentative, doing well in a male dominated industry, educated etc.) I run a MILE from men who claim to like "strong women." It's LVM code for "woman who doesn't have emotional needs of her own, no demands of me, etc." Like they said in Gone Girl (IIRC?) men who claim to LOVE strong women actually HATE strong women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:08 PM
2

Sadly also true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 06:18 PM
12

For all the ladies out there, you should only enforce your boundaries once. If your boundary is your bf not following Instagram models and OnlyFans girls, you should only have to tell him once that you’re not ok with it, and NO ARGUING. “Endless requests for him to unfollow...which only happened after much arguing and many, many requests from me”. If he truly cared about your boundaries, he would have unfollowed after the first request without argument. IF HE WANTED TO, HE WOULD. And then the ga…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:36 PM
1

COMMENT OF THE DAY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 01:51 PM
6

Yep! LVM are also cheap and annoying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 01:29 PM
2

Yep sis! The more pick-mes bend over backwards to objectify themselves the worse the LVM get. Why would you REWARD this audacity?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 01:26 PM
14

The "porn look" is in fashion too! I follow a lot of high street stores on Instagram and the "models" are looking more and MORE porny. I'm not a prude and never took any offence to Victoria's Secret models etc. But even so, this generation has hit the gutter sis! Poses that show off plastic butts, plumped out lips and plastic faces, disgusting tacky clothing and tops that look like BRAS... sad! When Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda" song came out about a decade ago, and Miley Cyrus twerked half naked wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 01:25 PM
16

That's disgusting, please tell your friend. He tried to both put your work abilities down and sleazily degrade you?? Wtf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 01:02 PM
8

Yep. We literally can't even go to the shops normally dressed without some pornsick guys sexually harassing us, leering at us, slowing down cars etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:57 PM
9

Yes exactly what I mean! If men are seeing very attractive women behave like Pickmeisha’s what makes them think they will ‘value’ them when they’re at the top of the looks pole . They just come to expect pretty women out of their league putting up with their bullshit- even if they’re not all that themselves. They see them as useable objects. Then they rock up to FDS types thinking they can pull the same. You nailed it sis! Every time I see girls "rating themselves out of 10," posting Tiktok slea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:51 PM
3

I agree completely. I'm young, "pretty" and into fitness, but I often get criticism from my friends/whiny LVM I know who then get blocked asking why there aren't any pictures of me on social media! Because "fitness Instagram" is mostly just half naked women with filters.. Even some famous "social media celebrities" don't look anything like they do there in real life (e.g. the Kardashians). Young impressionable girls know magazines are Photoshopped but they think Instagram is "real"..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:45 PM
7

Yep. I'm considered "pretty," am young, in good shape etc. I have had Insta since 2015 and the change on my "feed" has gone from normal pics to more and more pics of women in their underwear, with plastic surgery, filters, the "Instagram look" of cat eyes and fillers and fuck knows what else. It would make me insecure but now I just feel sad for them. Even when you see social media celebrities who are "Insta famous" in candids (Kylie Jenner, Madison Beer etc etc) they often look very different f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:39 PM
9

It is literally scary. You've got 16, 17 year old girls being pushed into doing things like the "spit challenge" on Tiktok and then starting an Onlyfans at 18... literally what the hell?? Young girls in their underwear being encouraged to do sexual dances? Why is there not more pushback?? Dating apps are also a no go for me. I used them around 2017-2018, and then last year when lockdowns were stopped for a bit in my country (the UK). There were NOTICEABLY more scrotes and LVM pornsick behaviour …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:34 PM
26

This is right on sis. I have NEVER been hit on so much, as when I worked a part-time job in retail through university a few years ago. By men of all genders (it was in the "studenty" part of town). I wore a uniform two sizes too big, was not allowed to wear make up and had my hair pulled back into a ponytail. I also had to deal with a lot of harassment. But when I walk out looking even remotely nice (nice coat, dress etc. that I WFH in...) the amount of "negging" I get is ridiculous. Guys shouti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 10:16 AM
12

My safety always comes first. I noticed they were talking about me and took the necessary steps to keep myself safe from a guy who turned out to be nutty Well said. You 100% did the right thing sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 11:35 AM
11

What men think "50/50" is = usually the girl doing it all. Ariana Grande even made a pickme song about it sis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcYodQoapMg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 10:09 AM
14

It goes against their "HVM only want women between 18 and 25! They all sleep around and cheat!" garbage doesn't it?? Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:14 PM
11

Perfectly put sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:06 PM
83

SO much gaslighting. I've had to deal with similar when having scrotes follow me around the gym, would probably have filmed if I hadn't watched them closely. Had to report it to management/staff every time, because they NEVER just stop doing it. Always denial, always refusal to admit. It's usually the unattractive slimy fat disgusting middle aged guys as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:56 AM
8

Well said sis - and often leads to negging/triangulation from unworthy LVM scrotes lmao!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:50 PM
31

Especially if you're out of their league physically or otherwise. How many LVM scrotes do you see trying to "bring women down a peg", even ones they don't know? Whether it's an ugly/average guy with a beautiful woman, or a stupid guy with an educated woman, or a porn addict with an HVM with boundaries.. the list goes on. They often even assume rejection before they ask lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:45 PM
2

I bet he's the kind of guy who writes "No drama" in his online dating profiles
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 04:43 PM
15

Lots of of men do, only they see it as even cheaper/easier sex, with the PickMes accepting their "coffee dates" and "walk dates"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:00 PM
82

Yes exactly sis :) fashions change all the time. When I was a kid, the "in figure" was not what it is now. Similarly, it's creepy how all the Instagram influencers from different countries look the same with contouring, the plastic surgery for big lips and "cat eyes" and nose jobs, possible butt injections... I follow lots of fashion, travel pages and sometimes it feels like you're seeing the same woman all the time. I think the current "beauty standard" at least on Instagram/pop culture require…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 01:43 PM
11

And they feel entitled to do it to *any* woman even strangers. Like when street harassment takes place, or how many scrotes scream abuse at women on OLD because the women won't come over for the first "date" or go for a "walk or coffee date," or "send pics b/c how do I know you're not a catfish 111" Or how many men coach each others in emotional abuse through "how to manipulate women" "dating advice" channels, "how to neg women," etc etc...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 01:45 PM
12

Pick-me mothers are dangerous. Agreed 100% sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 07:52 PM
8

Not acceptable behaviour by men, though. A lot of women (including on this sub) wouldn't expect the pics they put on OLD to be viewed by anyone other than potential "matches". Certainly not saved for private use or shared on forums/with other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:05 PM
15

Shocked Pikachu face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:10 PM
80

It's not even just nudes, TBH. I stopped using OLD last year for other reasons but some scrotes will share literally ANY pics of women they can get their hands on - Whatsapp picture, Facebook ones, screenshots of OLD profiles etc. Don't even put pics of myself on Instagram because they might be saved. I know this because I work in a male dominated industry (full of "smart, white collar guys" supposedly!), and frequent a career/general forum where idiot men often post screenshots of their matches…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:09 PM
7

My FDS radar is priceless! :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:57 AM
35

"I like strong women" = "I hate strong women" From Gone Girl, IIRC Men like these seek out "strong women" to either leech off like they're mommy bangmaids and/or break down to get a feeling of power
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:13 AM
2

Likewise! They go from insulting you to this pathetic woe is me act. My narc mum is the EXACT same, she'll go from passive aggressively saying "You and your siblings weren't THAT bad I suppose!" to whining about how she's so hard done by, she could drop dead tomorrow etc. She is exhausting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:12 PM
28

Audacity is at an all time high. I can't even go to the park dressed normally, and start eating a chocolate bar without some random middle aged scrote on the bench next to me staring while his poor wife takes care of their kid. We shouldn't have to do this, men should be raised not to act like animals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 09:33 AM
2

Omg this is relatable. I once had an acquaintance w/ a reputation for being a "player" try to love bomb me subtly, every other time I would make a Facebook post on something I liked he would create a corresponding one (this was back when Facebook was v popular...) Once I spotted this it was SO creepy.. though I mentioned it to LV friends and they said "That's sweet!" Like I would post "I'm going to see the car show with" (I love cars) and then he would post later, "What's everyone's favourite ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 04:10 PM
34

THOSE GRAPES WERE SOUR ANYWAY LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:57 PM
36

I also dated a mother's boy type who had been abused by her string of ex bfs growing up. Felt sorry for him, tried to make allowances but he was just very sensitive/needy. Tried to fix himself w women instead of fixing himself, and I wasn't gonna be therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:47 PM
1

This, he LITERALLY writes "any other response to blah blah hooking up with me..." Potential rapist and future abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:43 PM
3

THIS. I had a guy I later realised was a controlling narcissist throw a tantrum, sulk and not speak to me for weeks (plus try to get me ostracised by friend group) because I didn't text him to wish a happy Valentine's Day. Even though he didn't either. This was a "close guy friend" of mine by the way, it was obvious I liked him and he did back, he knew I did and our friends would joke about us being boyfriend and girlfriend. He was always getting into dramas with online dating girls and said he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:41 PM
24

Yep, it's jealousy, insecurity and being conditioned by the patriarchy to see other women as threats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:36 PM
161

Lots of scrotes/incels hate beautiful women even more. I was walking around town looking "done up" and in a nice coat and dress yesterday. An ugly, scruffy old bearded man dressed like a homeless guy looked at me as he walked past, muttered something to his pick-me wife and started laughing whilst still staring at me. I didn't hear what he said but did reply "Pathetic" loudly. They hate what they can't have hence all the "hot wimminz are crazy" and "hot wimminz are SOOOOO stuck up for not wanna …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:04 AM
1

I also have a narc mother. This is spot on. Going NC is often justifiable, for these sorts of mothers the "supply" of beating down their kids emotionally (esp daughters) is NEVER enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:33 PM
16

Good luck sis! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 01:33 PM
31

Anyone else a bit disgusted by how much modern music pushes the sexualised "baby doll" image? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4MH1qnvhZ8&ab_channel=MadisonBeerMusicVEVO I like this artist and song a lot, this came up in my Youtube recs and I was shocked by how she's sexualising herself while surrounded by teddy bears and dressed like a pedo "Lolita" fantasy. Wtf??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 01:20 PM
1

Sorry to hear that sis. I'd report/film harassers if you can. Have you found it's even worse than pre pandemic? I have tbh. Lots of pornsick guys probably stayed indoors not interacting with real people through lockdown and are now on the streets again. Plus the pandemic has changed people's view of "normal". Yep, when things were reopen last summer it was bad too. I was reading a thread on here earlier on how to react to sexual harassers and I'm thinking through responses before situations happ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 08:13 AM
8

Definitely, a couple of my male friends (in their early 20s) share this crap on Facebook. Might bring it up. Likewise, and notice how they portray her as the "boring unfunny unattractive jealous" girl when she's actually reacting in a normal way to a weird unrealistic interaction. This is the sort of thing that creates pick-mes. It portrays the "hot girl" as being overly sexualised and the "unattractive girl" (the way she's portrayed/dressed, not is) as being "no fun," too sensible etc etc. And …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 05:29 PM
3

This is where some LVM get the "the girl should chase ME" idea from lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 05:26 PM
23

Exactly, he's trying to sound smart but fails lol. Not to mention how she's literally dressed like a porn fantasy, while he looks like a bum. It's on a "pickup" channel too as an "educational" video, scrotes will see it and think this is the way life actually works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 11:25 AM
8

A bunch of LVM and ugly losers sis. Preach
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 11:21 AM
21

I know, it's just fucking bad! Yeah, liking shows like this along with having sus role models like Jordan Peterson etc. is definitely a red flag. As you say shows like this are just pure male fantasy. Glad you're out of it now tho sis :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:19 AM
38

Middle-aged guys probably watch that and then wonder why it doesnt happen to them IRL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:12 AM
24

MOMMMMYYYY!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 09:30 PM
92

Exactly sis! Even the worst pick-mes I've ever met behave nothing like women in some "bro shows." A couple of my male friends keep sharing clips from this old show (Californication) on Facebook and it's obnoxious. Have you ever seen a girl behave like the one in the clip towards a middle aged average looking scrote? Just lmao. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkaDVTbJbTk&ab_channel=YourBestMovie
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 09:23 PM
17

"Tell me about yourself" "Message first" "Meet me halfway" "I like women who make the first move" Low effort guy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 08:06 AM
18

So much this sis. It's like "Cool girl" monologue from Gone Girl. These guys idealise and dehumanise women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 05:40 PM
26

Holy fuck! This is why I don't post pics of myself on Instagram, and mine wouldn't even be provocative ones lol, just selfies. Disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:35 PM
10

Do you think it's natural or porn makes it worse? I've definitely been with some HVM who have been all about enthusiastic consent, wanted to get to know me properly etc. But I agree there's also guys (probably the majority these days) who are just disgusting. They get off on breaking women down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:34 PM
12

This is unfortunately true. I'm young, slim but have "curves" in certain areas. I deliberately bought clothing that was corporate but loose and flowy this season, because I'm currently WFH but also wanted to look smart while still being taken seriously. I've still been sexually harassed every time I've gone out, esp with lockdown lifting here. I literally had disgusting comments made by three tradesmen when walking around with no makeup on, having had 5 hours of sleep, with a boring sweater on a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:32 PM
61

I literally walked down the pavement yesterday (in a knee length dress with a trench coat over, boring classy style lol) and had an ugly young guy shout out "SLAG!" as he and his trashy friends drove past. Guess the knees, calves and ankles I was showing must have been really provocative! He also didn't expect me to react like an actual human being, which is why he noticeably flinched when I flipped him off and shouted "WEIRDO!" back. It was like he expected me to be an object and just take his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:25 PM
57

OMG he sounds horrible, glad you got out of that sis. I've noticed LVM and/or narcs never give closure, they like to "leave the door open" "Just in case" while they go off and try to keep their victims as backup options. Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:20 PM
34

I have had misogynists get angry at me because I was *into them* but didn't express interest *in the way they wanted* ie falling all over them like a lapdog. A few years ago, a male friend I actually liked a lot (we had loads in common) suddenly went from "very nice" to "mean and trying to push me out of a social circle" because I didn't message to wish him a happy Valentine's Day (he didn't wish me one either!). This was after he'd not replied to a text message of mine for two days by the way. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:17 PM
9

It's literally low effort LVM losers sis, demanding to know if you'll sleep with them before even meeting in person because else why drag their asses out to something they're going to try to whinge into being a low effort coffee/walk date? OLD is just free/cheap escorting to these losers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:23 PM
3

Talking about the last one to try to make you jealous, trying to make you jealous of other women they know/like but getting furious when you talk to other guys (second to last)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:16 PM
8

Lots of younger guys raised in this pick-me and OLD generation throw fits when reminded they should "value" women (speaking as a young woman herself). Just look at all the guys who lose their shit on Twitter about things like paying for the first date. Older generations of men were definitely more sexist in loads of ways yeah, but when you're raised by porn, music videos and pick-me moms to think that all women should be your Instagram model mommy bangmaid...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 09:26 AM
4

Yep. I don't agree with rating people anyway though, and this is coming from someone young, attractive, in good shape etc. I still dislike it. If a guy tries to "rate me out of 10" I know he's an LVM even if he's like "Oh she's a 10!". It screams of meat market, OLD, treating women as disposable etc. Either he finds me attractive or doesn't. And you know EVERY single girl who asks guys to "rate me out of 10 plz!" (just look at the threads on Reddit!) is a hardcore pick-me...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 09:22 AM
7

Same for guys who earn a lot less, are less educated etc. I was raised upper middle class, and am doing well in my career (in a male dominated industry ironically). I used to be a "give them a chance" girl, dated a few guys who didn't have their shit together and were in their late twenties still hopping between secretary type jobs etc. Never worked, they're always the "what can SHE do for ME?" type of LVM and feel bitter/resentful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 09:17 AM
3

Yep, had that and Entourage in mind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 05:26 PM
3

Thanks sis! Yes, it was nicer when people were indoors more, but right now it's ridiculous, I'm trying to enjoy the good weather but can't without harassment. I was just out for a walk when some guy shouted "SLAG" at me from a car - I shouted back at him and he looked scared lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:33 PM
2

Thanks. I have tried this before but some of them will look away, others don't even seem fazed by that. Its like lack of social awareness. I may confront them next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:20 AM
2

Thanks! Literally can't even think of any "HV" male "dating coach", let alone a random scrote who comes across and offers his misspelled opinion to us lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 07:25 PM
7

It's entitled, creepy middle aged scrotes like this who watch "teen porn" who also sexually harass women (AND girls!) most from what I've noticed too. Complete lack of self awareness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 06:41 PM
11

It's why narcs/LVM can't just give "closure" and walk away when you tell them you're done with their shit - there's always some sob story and guilttrips
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 06:35 PM
8

It's the word salad and lack of accountability sis. Spot on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 06:31 PM
8

Lockdown is lifting here and the spring weather is great, however the amount of sexual harassment going on is ridiculous. I went out for a walk in just a normal knee length dress with a jacket on top yesterday, and had lots of middle aged scrotes sitting on benches with beer bellies staring at me, AS WELL as the teenage girls who walked by (I'm in my twenties). Any ideas for stopping ogling creepers? Oh and a few weeks ago I went out in very loose, flowy harem pants, and a normal strappy tank to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 06:09 PM
20

Well put sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 06:00 PM
2

Yep! If he's as "HV" as he claims why is he whining on Reddit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:57 PM
4

In the porn/TV shows written by male writers who couldn't get a girlfriend in college they watch, 3 *dates* is probably a long time to wait for sex lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:56 PM
5

Guys like this are usually homophobes AND gay for each other LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:55 PM
2

Lmaoooo sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:53 PM
4

Lmao this sis! If he's as "HV" as he claims why can't he spell, is he trying to convince one random girl on the Internet when apparently loads of young pretty women apparently want to fulfil his pornsick fantasies, and trying to convince her to *lower* her standards not *raise* them??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:52 PM
3

This. I've often gotten LVM trying to get me to sleep with them early, guys who called me "one of a kind," tried to flatter me, etc. Just like this one. She won't be considered an "HVW" after he sleeps with her and ghosts her. Because guys like this do not VALUE women, if he did he wouldnt be trying to bully one into lowering her standards. Also, if he were as HV as he claims, why try to make her lower her standards at all instead of rise to meet em? And if hes getting so many women why care abo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:50 PM
3

So true sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:44 PM
6

DEW IT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:39 PM
27

I genuinely think TV inspires some of this nonsense tbh sis.. a lot of TV shows targeted towards men, esp. "bro TV" is full of garbage written by men where some average looking middle aged narcissist has lots of "young, attractive etc." women like this chasing after him and all wanting to sleep with him. In reality, we don't. I've even seen it at the gym as a young pretty woman, delusional middle aged guys trying to talk to me, following me around, chat me up etc. They genuinely believe they're …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:39 PM
55

Yep. I'm young, attractive, blah blah blah. As are many of my friends. Guys like this who try to manipulative/coerce women into sex by the "SLEEP WITH ME OR I WILL SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ELSE" scam are NOT high value, the opposite. How TF is trying to bully a woman into sex before she's comfortable with it high value?? Also notice how he has NO definition of an HVM besides conveniently magically having loads of "young, attractive etc" women wanting to sleep with them. I have dated several guys who a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:36 PM
48

These days, even music videos and social media like Tiktok (which underage girls are regularly encouraged to do things like the "spit challenge!" and twerking dances on! Wtf), are overly sexualised. I am in my twenties and I've noticed even the difference in dating between 2020 and 2018, to be honest.. society is going down the gutter and men are getting worse on average.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:24 PM
14

I briefly dated a guy off OLD before I would definitely have said was a porn addict. Couldn't get it up despite obviously finding me v physically attractive, whined about "blue balls" constantly, texted me "What kind of porn do you like?" out of the blue and got upset when called out on it, lied about flirting with his ex on her bikini pics on Instagram, suggested that we should GET IN A RELATIONSHIP just because I said we weren't going all the way unless we were in one... wtf??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:22 PM
34

Yep. Isn't the porn industry like the tobacco industry re: covering up studies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:19 PM
1

The "but what do YOU bring to the table?" LVM :P
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:16 PM
5

It's sad, she doesn't even show the guy or what he's doing, she's literally doing everything for him - "There's nothing I wouldn't do/Switching up positions for you." This is why I don't date LVM who say they want "strong, independent" women lol, you know they really mean supermodels who are their mommy bangmaids with high paid careers who also have no standards and conveniently don't want their men to take care of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:05 PM
7

I like her songs but the music videos have gotten so overly sexualised, that with the whole Lolita vibe is horrible... Like why portray a woman as the President and then make a disgusting "stuck in the oven" joke??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:48 PM
22

Great quote sis. My friend shared this music video on FB earlier today, she's literally playing the president of the freaking United States and still... catering to male fantasies. The pick-me anthem. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcYodQoapMg&ab_channel=ArianaGrandeVevo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 08:39 PM
49

Following/liking loads of girls on Instagram = no
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:57 PM
41

"Why do I have to pay for the first date/chase/hold the door if they want equality?" And on the last point, any kind of offensive words (e.g. bitches, hoes, slampigs, etc) towards women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:57 PM
57

Yep, any unhealthy male role models (Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, Elon Musk etc) This also goes for fictional guys. There's a TV show called Californication I don't watch but a narcissist I used to date was obsessed with being like the LVM main character. Here's a clip from this male written garbage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gab7rrzOr2I Idk a SINGLE woman who says some of the lines she does IRL lol... The women in these shows always act like Pick-Mes squared, and the average looking guy is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:10 PM
6

I just watched Sherlock again with a good friend and was struck by how misogynist he comes off as at times (esp towards Molly). Great show but definitely not aged well re: this. The "Oriental" episode is also incredibly racist/outdated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 12:22 PM
15

I always wonder how the hell they've been raised tbh.. even as kids me and my siblings were always told "stop staring!" by our parents if we were rude. How does someone go through life not knowing this? Is this what happens to MGTOW types when they grow older?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 11:39 AM
39

I've had to deal with so much sexual harassment since the UK reopened this spring and there are also more people around on the streets. The worst is usually from older creepy types, probably single/never married, potential paedophiles, no social skills. I haven't rejoined the gym yet but when I do these are always the types that follow women around and stare at them too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 10:07 AM
11

Probably pornsick. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 10:05 AM
122

"We didn't have much of a connection but I should have kept seeing her b/c she made feel good and pandered to my ego. Should have led her on! Why aren't more women like this?" 🤡🤡🤡 Also, if paying = "being part of" the date (bullshit) then HE wasn't "part of" it either. He's admitting he likes to not even go 50/50 but be a parasite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 01:50 PM
15

Good advice thanks. I have had to deal with so much sexual harassment since lockdown started lifting this spring in the UK. Men ogling me and crossing the road to walk behind me, shouting from cars, saying that a tank top looked "like a bra." Fucking disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 01:41 PM
13

Agreed sis, not to mention there are lots of guys who'll save womens' pics off OLD profiles and then use them for their own "personal use." Another reason I don't use OLD any more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:20 AM
5

Perfectly put sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:16 AM
9

Those girls are REALLY young too.. how can you have girls as young as 18 waiting to make their first OnlyFans and doing stuff like the "spit challenge" on Tiktok?! It's sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:15 AM
3

in order to attract the worst of what the male half of our species has to offer. Nailed it sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:13 AM
15

Society's getting more sexualised too, I used OLD in 2018 and then again last year. There are now even more scrotes who demand nudes, try to get women to come over on the first "date" (wtf), make no effort etc. Even Instagram has changed, I follow the same kinds of accounts, my feed shows many more half naked women all looking the same these days. And so many girls have Onlyfans in their bios which is just sad. Standards have gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:11 AM
9

The "not like other girls" thing is a trap, I've often been labelled as like that (work in a male dominated industry, don't wear much makeup etc.) The guys who praise girls like that are the first to tear them down once they start showing emotion/being the "Cool Girl" a la Gone Girl speech. Its a recipe for abuse. I'm not one luckily because I haven't ever torn other women down etc. Sadly I do know lots of "Not Like Other Girls" who do just that, call other women bitches and hoes, tell other wom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:39 AM
6

Omg I'm sorry to hear that. I live in the UK too, and in a well off small town - I've been sexually harassed, followed, leered at since the weather started getting better/lockdown started lifting. It is non stop. I miss the winter and lockdown, when nobody went outdoors as much. It's disgusting, some idiot shouted at me from his car the other day when I was walking around smiling. I responded back but the audacity was stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:36 AM
5

I don't like to put other women down but I have noticed a correlation between the girls I know with more pick-me tendencies and how little clothing they wear. I've noticed that if I wear more make-up and revealing clothing it does bring out all the LVM types who like what might be seen as a "cheaper" look, idk. Also noticed myself, that if I wear no make-up/more modest clothing I attract more HVM type guys. I used to work in an expensive supermarket and had to tie my hair back, wear no make-up a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 05:52 PM
8

Exactly sis. When have you ever seen male "dating/sex advisors" telling men to be pick-me men, more selfless, etc.? If anything they encourage guys to be MORE selfish, often pathological and downright emotionally abusive in "negging" and manipulating women bcuz you can't be a man unless you mistreat and control a woman amirite?!?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 05:44 PM
84

The biggest LVM I know are all mummy's boys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 05:35 PM
109

Men dont respect what they dont earn, preach it sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 05:34 PM
49

Made my evening LMAO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 05:33 PM
44

Trigger warning: abuse In uni, I had a reputation for being the "serious girl" who didn't party, worked hard etc., and this LVM party guy kept chasing me and love bombing. Saying he wanted a relationship with me and asking me to expensive places for a student. Constantly telling mutual friends how perfect, smart etc I was. I said no multiple times, something about it was just off. He was good looking but doing the Prince charming thing too much. Later learned from a friend that he had ONS with m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:32 PM
17

It actually is.. I've had LVM go on about how much they admire strong women in my male dominated industry, feminism etc., call other guys out for being racist.. they love their mothers for being strong and holding high ranking positions in companies.. yet still get threatened when I refuse to hit on them as a "strong woman" AND refer to the women who choose to have ONS with them as bitches, hoes, etc. No longer friends with guys like this. Actually think some LVM just like "strong" pro active wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:21 PM
15

I sadly know a few girls who like to hang out in male dominated environments, do stuff like this and also ask the guys to "rate" them - being a "Cool Girl," making jokes about sex, openly talking about how often they shave down there to get the guys talking etc. Why do they do this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:16 PM
20

When I worked in retail through university the amount of sexual harassment was horrendous even from other employees. People literally felt entitled to ask me where I lived etc. and the branch manager was a self-hating older woman who told me I was "oversensitive."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:14 PM
13

I was literally walking happy round my city centre yesterday minding my own business when some random middle aged scrote with his friend shouted out from a car, "WHAT ARE YOU SMILING AT?" I responded rudely and walked off, only way hes ever going to get a young woman to talk to him lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:07 PM
11

Pick-me feminism, literally... SMH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 09:47 PM
6

Definitely sis! It's common though sadly. Sad how women are taught to hate on other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 09:43 PM
11

No, her boyfriend didn't even look at me once as far as I noticed. She just took one look at me and said that LOL. It's sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 09:37 PM
10

Yep, in this case they're not even asking to give him a chance but trying to gaslight me into thinking I have feelings for him when I'm clearly just trying to make fun of him? Thanks, and I agree, pick-mes/their husbands are definitely the worst for this. I don't know why they cant just laugh along with me instead of trying to control me. They almost seem to want me to like this guy/get screwed over by him! Lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 07:42 PM
20

I've only ever gone on one date with a guy off Bumble, the rest just flaked around and wasted my time. He turned up hungover and looking rubbish, didn't offer to pay for a plate of food for me and had bad conversation. One of the worst dates ever. You just KNOW LVM who are salivating over the choice of "wimmenz gonna chase" flock to it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 07:33 PM
25

Saying Bumble is empowering is like saying LVM trying to bully women into paying for the first date or making the first move is "empowering."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:59 PM
39

I found most dating apps the same TBH, guys treat them as cheap/even free if they get pick-mes who agree to "walk dates" escort services. Bumble only stands out and thats for the wrong reasons - having even MORE low-effort men who think "Wimmenz gonna chase me for once! Take THAT!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:57 PM
43

"and then the gremlins come out" HAHAHAHAHA sis this made my night! Sometimes the "hottest looking guys" can also turn out to be gremlins though too in my experience 🤣 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:55 PM
29

I'd never put pics of myself on OLD again, its too risky yeah. I gave up OLD anyway but for this one reason I wouldnt do it again. I'm on several career-related forums, I work in a very male dominated industry and said forums also have "general chat" sections where the guys literally talk about w/e. Because my industry requires people to be highly educated these are also white collar men, would probs come off as normal IRL or on OLD. There are numerous threads where guys will post pics of women …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:54 PM
22

She must really hate other women. Looked her in the eye when I responded, she didn't even reply back. Ingrained misogyny, its no different from the LVM who passive aggressively insult random women on the streets. Funnily enough, I know I didn't even look great today either (tired face from long work hrs, hair unbrushed) but didn't feel the need to go around insulting other women randomly. This is why LVM love triangulating pick mes, they know they can get them to hate on other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:41 PM
32

Anyone else notice how much people patronise women when giving dating advice? I just posted in the family Whatsapp about a "player" in one of my friend groups who's constantly hitting on me and love bombing, I made it very clear I wasn't into him, but was making fun of his LVM antics (sulking, etc). They all know I don't even date right now with my career. But despite my constant pointing out "I just don't like him that way, though we're good friends," they were insisting "We know you like him! …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:21 PM
44

Pick-me women hate other women so much, its unreal. I hear you btw. My mum is covertly narcissistic, passive aggressive and enabled behaviour from the men in my family. Every time I'm confident, etc. around her she will look me up and down, try to put me down etc. She's a perpetual victim herself and acts like a grown up kid. I was shopping today when a pick-me girl walking with her partner looked at me (a random stranger) and instantly said "Slut." (I was wearing a modest coat over a dress/tigh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 04:51 PM
2

It's why not responding emotionally to LVM who try to make women jealous works SO well. Try negging? I won't respond lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 11:25 AM
3

That was actually the norm when I was dating online back in 2018, maybe I just got lucky but I had guys (attractive, athletic ones too) take me out to dinner, mini golfing, the cinema etc. on the first and second dates, ofc there were the usual "come over and chill" as the first message scrotes who got blocked. I tried OLD again last year and quickly deleted it again, maybe it's the pandemic or just over sexualisation of society/pickmes spoiling men, but the dating world has defo changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 04:27 PM
35

Ain't that the truth sis "Classic" male humour is literally just lOl wOMen!!1!1111!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:13 AM
12

Male attention is ridiculous, I'm in good shape/don't like wearing makeup, and have in fact been dressing more "conservatively" (loose trousers etc.) recently on purpose. I am dealing with anxiety which is triggered by harassment and harassment increases in spring. I dress in a way that's "frumpy" tbh, wear no make up, hair is long but that's it. I wore a nice dress for Easter, got loads of LVM shouting out stuff from cars on a walk - no thanks. Despite this I have recently had to deal with scro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 09:47 AM
9

That's not even to mention sexualised dances like the "buss challenge" underage girls are being encouraged to put online for (potentially) paedos among others to see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:37 PM
6

Amen sis. Funny how they can always "control" themselves when the woman they're otherwise "helpless to harass cuz boys will be boys" is with a bigger, stronger guy. I used to date a lot of tall gym rats at uni. Alone, or with female friends, I would often get sexually (and usually racially) harassed in the city centre. I used to enjoy going on dates with those kinds of guys just because being around them meant scrotes would take one look at the pair of us and then drop their eyes. Compare it to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:04 PM
11

Always cringe when pick-me women call into his show just to be "roasted" by him. Reminds me of pick-mes on Reddit posting on the "roast me" sub forum. Also sadly true sis. It's an unhealthy hive mind. Because of my industry, I post on quite a few male dominated career forums. They have sub forums for relationships and non career related stuff - the amount of incel type stuff gets worse year on year. (They also post pictures of women from OLD profiles to be "rated/10," which is why I NEVER use OL…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:01 PM
6

It's very hot where I live today. I just went out in a similar top and long loose trousers and was sexually harassed multiple times. Scrotes gonna scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:58 PM
42

It's downright emotional abuse to neg etc. too. Male "dating advice" nutjobs like Kevin Samuels literally tell men to abuse women to try to get sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:20 PM
48

I'd be down for that. I live in a small, very well to do city and was just for a walk round town in a strappy tank top and loose trousers (it's boiling today). Walked past an LVM and his pick-me wife when he commented, "Her top looks like a bra." I sniggered back "Strange!", turned around and pretended to take a picture of him with my phone - he suddenly shrunk back. Walked past about four old men sitting on a bench at the park who instantly started staring me down. To the point I turned to look…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:18 PM
23

Sis you're a genius lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:24 AM
87

"to teach them a lesson" Incel vibes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:23 AM
82

Which Euro country are you from sis? :) I'm British and sadly online apps are like this here too which is why I deleted them. LVM will pretend to be looking for relationships, while trying to use it as a cheap escort service.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:22 AM
56

I don't put pics of myself on my public Insta account for this reason. Mine is mostly pics of stuff I've knitted, baked and yet I still get scrotes in the DMs, once it was a pic of a friend's cat and I had a scrote commenting about "pussy." Blocked. I have female friends who post pics of #outfitoftheday and they are often harassed, one even had a stalker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:18 AM
68

Likewise ahahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:16 AM
4

What's causing this? Just pickmes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:12 AM
17

Omg nailed it sis. Low effort men = low value men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 10:20 PM
30

Also just to add - if this is how they treat women... you don’t want to be their number one anyway. They generally go for the easiest to manipulate/ get what they want from. I mean, look, he was holding onto random girls as backup plans when with his option A anyway... This lol. I have been a scrote's "dream girl" before, the "Not Like Other Girls" one - if they don't respect other women sooner or later they start treating you like that too...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:25 AM
35

Men who neg get instantly dumped by me. So lame lmao. Secure men don't need to resort to LVM scrote behaviours such as this, to manipulate women into wanting them more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:24 AM
60

People just whine about "cancel culture" b/c they hate having to face consequences now lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:23 AM
48

Hey I read about that on BBC! I’m so glad those 3 idiots got fired. And indeed block everything as nothing in this world is worth your peace of mind ♥️ This right here <3 Queen shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:20 AM
4

For sure, I have to walk on eggshells even around lots of male friends whereas as me I can't even go to the nearby supermarket in a "nice" area sometimes without sexual harassment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 06:02 PM
11

Yep, lots of men online harass women for existing too. I don't use Twitter and Instagram with my real name, b/c I've had friends who got stalked, threatened, harassed etc. with personal accounts and few followers. My Insta is mostly boring like knitting, but I once posted a selfie to show my makeup and got so many scrotes in my inbox (I guess they searched for the makeup tags?!) I had to delete it soon after. I also once got a vile comment about "pussies" after posting pictures of a friend's cat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:33 PM
11

Yep. Onlyfans is seen as the norm, following half naked Instagram models is seen as the norm, boyfriends watching porn is seen as the norm and if you don't agree "you're insecure 1111 b/c you have competition, jUsT cOmMUNicATe"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 11:06 AM
7

And social media and music videos keep getting more and more sexualised... Instagram is half girls advertising Onlyfans these days, and music videos are often WAP level quality
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 11:04 AM
7

I go and tell the gym staff every time now, if they don't take it seriously I will move gym. I agree, they have no social skills and get off on women reciprocating attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 11:00 AM
17

I make a point of looking at people who are likely to perv (read: LVM looking guys). I've always felt anxious going to the gym, been going for years and in every single gym there's been a scrote harassing me during a session. I've been sworn at for moving away from someone, had guys follow me around and conveniently always be behind me on the machines, grab the weights from me to "help" me put them back.. name it. I can be running on the treadmill and always have to glance around to watch out fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:58 AM
31

I bet it was tiny too! This is why I don't do OLD lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 12:18 PM
29

Lockdown is ending in my country and spring's here, I should be happy but there's also been an increase in the amount of sexual harassment I've been experiencing. Scrotes gon scrote. At least during lockdown/cold weather they were less bold/more likely to be indoors. I live in a "nice" area/city, too, it would be even worse if I lived somewhere like where I went to university. Making me not want to go outside SMFH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 12:31 PM
68

Some LVM are never satisfied with a woman's appearance. I've had a few scrotes try to "hint" to me that I should wear "Instagram style" makeup and more revealing clothing even though I'm conventionally attractive, thin blah blah. Because they dont want a human but something to brag about to their friends. Its about control. Bleh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 09:24 AM
63

Yep, it's funny how they went from being jeering when it happened to shutting up and letting the kid responsible stutter out an apology once they saw I was filming. Three teenage boys harassing a lone woman down a side street. So much for #notallmen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:27 PM
11

I was just walking down the pavement when a teenage boy tried to get my attention by doing tricks with a football. When this failed, the ball somehow came back and hit my foot once I had passed him. He didn't apologise and he and his stupid friends laughed. I had a bad day at work today so wasn't having it, followed them down the road, shouted at him and made him apologise and start stuttering about how it was an accident. I also recorded on my phone. I'm in my twenties but look young, I'm guess…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:12 PM
19

He's Not Like Other Boys! He's too cool to buy things for her! Smh... this guy reminds me of an LVM I stopped entertaining quickly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 06:04 PM
89

It's being taught to them young too. I'm in my twenties but look "young" and regularly have to deal with this crap from teenagers who think I'm a peer. I was just walking down the pavement (looking decent in a nice jacket and skinny jeans) and had a teenage boy kicking a football about in front of his friends first try to get my attention by "dribbling" it in front of me. When I ignored him and walked past, the ball ended up hitting me - not sure if it was an accident or an LVM little scrote las…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:54 PM
4

Not at all, who TF does he think he is to mansplain women on dating? And when they should sleep with guys? Honestly if this is a real guy he screams potential manipulator/emotional abuser. Very controlling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 09:59 AM
6

I've become a bloodhound for fake woke idiots (to paraphrase another FDS user).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 09:58 AM
8

LVM/NVM *love* to have a list of stupid demands to make women feel like said men are the "prizes" because they think "why shouldnt she chase ME." This guy is just another version of the losers who tell women to take them out to dinner on OLD, throw tantrums over paying for the first date, etc. Lots of PUA sites outright tell men to do this. Some men want to be like women! Lmfao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 09:57 AM
14

Exactly. Guys who are emotionally unavailable/manipulative are unattractive AF. I attract a lot of guys like this for some reason esp. because I've got a "tomboyish" personality, work in a male dominated industry full of engineering bro types, etc. Also won't date em. They idealise/lovebomb the "perfect woman/cool girl" types but no womans ever good enough. At the end of the day, guys like this just want a "Cool Girl" they can gaslight and emotionally abuse into thinking her needs don't matter "…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 09:55 AM
14

Good for you! Have you thought about taking a break from OLD? I stopped using it last year too, kinda sounds like it's not doing anything for you and it wasnt for me either. I wouldn't entertain 39 year old manchildren who look like it either lol. If a guy looks like an incel or LVM/NVM from his profile he'll probably act like one too. Disgusting how guys like this gaslight women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 07:43 AM
17

This, Im not teaching guys stuff they should have learned in kindergarten.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 07:34 AM
93

It's not men's place to mansplain women on how to date (whether or not that advice aligns with FDS principles). Strong red flags. Hard pass. If this is actually a real guy, he's obnoxious, thinks he knows it all and is so socially inept he can't even use a Tinder profile for its proper purpose. No man has ANY right to lecture women, especially potential dates (!), on "jump through these hoops and I'll think you're not like other girls"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 07:27 AM
30

Yep, I'm not a woman they can order off a meat market, which is sadly how a lot of men see OLD. Several scrotes just straight up admit to seeing it as a way to get free/cheap sex as well. Online "dating" my ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:17 PM
14

I'm paranoid about my social media, even who I add on FB, sometimes I think too much but then I hear about this and then I realise better safe > sorry :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:57 AM
33

Sis, you are bang on. Don't forget sending pictures to his NVM friends as well. This among other reasons is why I don't do OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:56 AM
118

It's OLD culture. Women are treated as objects on a sex market, whose value LVM keep trying to push down... I stopped doing it for this among other reasons (in my pre FDS days). Idiot, no value men will literally screenshot pictures of women from OLD sites/apps, send them to their friends, ask them to "rate out of 10," not crop out their full names and leave the women potentially able to get harassed and "doxxed" by similar scrotes. I have seen this on career male-dominated forums I use (I work …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:55 AM
17

This article sis? :) https://www.themarysue.com/margot-robbie-birds-of-prey-costume-less-male-gaze/ "Featuring a sheer shirt that reads “Daddy’s Li’l Monster” and tiny shorts over fishnets (and heeled boots), the older costume fell into a male gaze trap; this was not helped by camera angles lingering on Harley’s rear and legs in the outfit. Costume designer Kate Hawley is credited with the work, but it was director David Ayer’s decision to use Harley’s look to objectify her. It didn’t help that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:31 AM
33

Pre-FDS, I dated a guy around my age (20s) I met off OLD, who was clearly pornsick. Couldn't get it up, was unable to text without making it sexual, emotionally all over the place and kept whining about how much he wanted sex just before I ended it. Never actually had sex with him (ironically due to his porn addiction/ED!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:05 PM
8

Don't let him be hostile to you over makeup sis. Or anything. This sounds controlling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:47 AM
33

This, if he brings up an ex he's not over her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:26 AM
34

Something tells me this incel has been watching porn featuring Asian women and/or been rejected by them. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:20 AM
36

It's the weird beauty standards as well. No real woman can match up to the on screen ones. I feel for girls I know who feel the need to go on OLD and "compete" by posting several revealing, bikini pics, lowering their standards etc. I tell them thats the wrong way to go about it but they never listen. I'm in my 20s, "pretty" and in shape - but so many guys my age expect women to look like Instagram models IRL, AKA with the makeup, filters a mobile phone applies, often plastic surgery to get the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 12:15 AM
6

That's lovely sis :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:14 PM
10

Happy for you sis! 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:13 PM
3

All the best sis. You are brave and strong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:12 PM
11

Just got sexually harassed by a middle-aged man *pushing his daughter in a pushchair* whilst walking past him (conservatively dressed too). He kept staring me down (I've seen him in my area before and he's done this before too, to the point its made me uncomfortable), then licked his lips at me whilst making eye contact. I flipped him off without even looking in his direction and kept that gesture up for a while. He was pushing a toddler and still thought it was OK to make a sexual face at me? W…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:11 PM
118

Exactly, I never approach no matter how cute he is lol. If a guy won't approach it shows he's low effort/ "men are the prize" mentality or just doesn't take initiative. Not attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 11:23 AM
34

Good for you, what an idiot mum
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:29 AM
10

Likewise sis. I posted a picture of a coat I liked/wanted to buy on my best friend's Facebook timeline yesterday, asking for her opinion. One of her acquaintances (a girl) commented rudely and unasked, "Not my type at all, it looks old and tatty, will wrinkle in the wash. Bad material too." I just ignored her and responded to my friend/our other friends who said they liked it, "Thanks ladies for your advice! Love you all! Going to get it <3", deliberately ignoring her. Then blocked her once she'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:37 PM
11

Yeah that would annoy me too, I like compliments lol. Does he seem into you generally? How did you meet if you dont mind me asking? I've had guys seem "off" like that whom I've met off OLD, and not dated them any more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:30 PM
11

"It hurts my feelings that women are scared to leave the house without getting assaulted or murdered, wah"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:12 PM
23

Does he compliment you? Might be just a good dude sis :) Not all guys are pornsick LVM scrotes, thank God
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:10 PM
2

I laughed when a friend said Ariana's song "Positions" was a feminist anthem, the whole song was a pick-me anthem. I like her as a singer but NO sis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcYodQoapMg "Switchin' the positions for you Cookin' in the kitchen and I'm in the bedroom I'm in the Olympics, way I'm jumpin' through hoops Know my love infinite, nothin' I wouldn't do That I won't do, switchin' for you Perfect, perfect You're too good to be true (you're too good to be true)"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:04 PM
4

Not to mention it's entitled AF and disregards womens' safety at getting into a car with a stranger = massive red flag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:56 PM
1

I get VERY annoyed sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:55 PM
4

I am so so so happy that you listen to these alarm bells! Too many women who’ve been around abusive men or been abused as gaslit into thinking they are “hyper sensitive” around these men when her alarm bells go off. Ask me how I know?! I’ve had these alarm bells multiple times only to be told by friends and therapists that I was thinking too much, not giving him a chance, just scared because of my past relationships. Well, guess what?! I was right every fucking time and those men turned into abu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:44 PM
1

Likewise! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:42 PM
7

"iTs jUSt a JoKE" about pushing women into traffic = instant red flag of physical abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:41 PM
5

I've had that kind of behaviour too, it's why I no longer use OLD. I had a v "boring" profile and would still get losers constantly getting sexual fast. Infested with pornsick scrotes who treat it like a meat market - no thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:39 PM
10

I've had guys ask if they could be my boyfriend JUST on hearing that I didn't sleep w/ guys I'm not in a relationship with. Multiple scrotes, literally didn't realise how they were coming off. Like WTF? You're gonna ADMIT to pretend commitment just to get in my pants?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:34 PM
4

Don't feel bad then sis! I mean you shouldnt feel bad anyways, but every time a guy's tried to be that controlling esp early on it's an instant red flag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:09 PM
31

The "kick into traffic" part indicates that he's a physical abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:29 AM
5

He's the joke. Hoping no gaslighted pick-me gives this scrote the chance to physically abuse her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:28 AM
16

His use of the b word says it all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:22 AM
22

"Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:04 AM
13

"Worried?" Like he's ENTITLED to abuse you after talking for two days - WTF?? I'm angry on your behalf sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:41 AM
18

There's an Insta/Tiktok culture around normalising borderline emotionally abusive behaviour by guys and making it "funny." The patriarchy tries soooo hard to brainwash women into being Cool Girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:32 AM
16

Hell yes.I’m not competing, YOU ARE. If you’re still shopping, in ANY WAY, then you are not the one - BYE They want to be the prizes soooo badly sis! Exactly lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 10:31 AM
1

It's a great quote haha, I'm glad you enjoyed :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 07:47 AM
4

Hahaha thanks sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 07:47 AM
13

It is night and day being single v being involved with an LVM sis. You're so right! That's also why narcs never give women closure - they don't want them to have that peace of mind. And why block and delete is the only way lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 11:22 AM
2

Late comment sorry but you could email customer services for the supermarket with his description and complain? In my experience as someone who worked part time in retail at university they take this VERY seriously. Sorry to hear it happened but plz don't let him get away with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 06:59 PM
4

It feels like a bit of a turning point watching the coverage of this story. There's finally discussions of the danger of porn, how this isn't a woman's issue, and that major structural changes need to take place.The cynical side of me thinks everyone will have moved on from this story by the weekend though. Because that's what's happened for countless other stories like this and nothing ever changes. It's so weird how porn is just OFF LIMITS for criticism a lot of the time. But muh male needs an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 06:58 PM
29

Same here sis. A woman needs a snake like a fish needs a bicycle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 09:34 AM
33

jUsT cOMmuNiCAte wITh tHe sNAke
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 09:33 AM
15

What a queen lmao! I stan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 06:56 PM
19

I was literally outside my door and on the pavement for 5 seconds yesterday before I was sexually harassed (in a loose, albeit colourful outfit - not that it should matter). A scrote middle aged man and his teenage son he's failing at raising kept glancing back at me as I walked behind them, winking at each other and being obviously disgusting. When I loudly barked at the older man "You ALRIGHT?" with a frown before I turned into a store, they stopped. I live in a "nice" area. These were the sor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 06:55 PM
34

This lol. And he's so ugly too, I bet he got rejected a lot and now takes out his bitterness on "duping" Pick-Mes while cry wanking himself to sleep every night over the "dream girls" who paid him dust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:45 PM
20

This. I've had LVM chase me before BECAUSE I give off an "ice queen/hard to get" persona, the instant I was a bit nicer to them the red flags came out. Of course after that they were dumped. But the acting was amazing. They are v v good at faking HVM behaviour to reel you in. But blaming women (even pickmes) for being treated badly by them is an LVM and emotionally abusive way of shifting responsibility and blaming the victim. "Oh, you were too nice/easy that's why I abused and neglected you. It…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:44 PM
34

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.Glad you're there! Well said! Blocked and deleted someone myself a few days ago. Felt so good. Goodbye scrote. Love this for you OP :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:32 PM
3

That's really sad :( It won't be the first time they've discriminated against a woman before either I'm sure. She could have prevented it happening to someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 10:22 AM
3

It's bizarre. I don't even post on Twitter because some angry men online literally attack anything female. Still don't entirely get it although obv incel rage plays a part. I think the safety of online helps them, although those are probably the same men who catcall and harass IRL too to some extent. Yep, women try to stay out of mens' way instead. FDS is merely *female only*, rather than letting men in and then doing their best to denigrate and abuse them, like lots of male-dominated forums do …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:19 AM
14

I feel like feminism has gone backwards since the movie came out too TBH (definitely had its faults, but that monologue was bang on)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:16 AM
7

Wtf? If she had been hired and was sexually harassed as a result would she have been blamed for it for being "too pretty"? That's ridiculous sis :o
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:16 AM
97

"Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 07:50 PM
7

Why is telling women they don’t have to put up with men’s shit so threatening in the year 2021 holy shit. Maybe it’s because we don’t couch it in “bad bitch” mainstream feminist nonsense? The patriarchy has grown more insidious sis. If you don't support the pornification of society and Onlyfans being pushed onto young women as a career choice you don't support fEMaLE SeXuAL eMPoWeRMeNT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 07:48 PM
19

🎶 pick-me and the beasttttt 🎶
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 07:45 PM
55

Exactly sis. I participate in *career related* forums (I work in a very male dominated industry) where I've had scrotes scream at me in incel rage online that I must be a "whale" because I refuse to put a picture of myself as my avatar and am a female online (I have a clearly female username). This is in threads asking for *career related* advice btw. I also had been outside my front door for 5 seconds today (walking down the pavement) when a NVM middle aged dad and his teenage son he's failing …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 07:31 PM
40

I work in a male dominated industry (not finance, but I work with a LOT of finance bro types). Wouldn't date one if you paid me. As a young attractive woman, I also had to play down my looks when visiting their offices prior to WFH. As someone else commented, they either put women on unrealistic mommy goddess bangmaid pedestals like lapdogs, or take pleasure in bringing them down and disrespecting them. Some guys do both and have a Madonna/whore thing where they search out the Perfect Cool Girl …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 06:31 PM
11

Didn't even say Please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:55 PM
22

As a young woman who (without e bragging) is what society usually considers attractive, I steer clear of manipulative, narcissistic small-dicked LVM like these. They are 10/10 insecure. If you're "hot," you're seen as a "bitch," "challenge" etc. I have literally read male advice before that tells them not to compliment "hotter" girls as much, as else "it goes to their head" but to "bring them down a peg." What idiots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:51 PM
43

This is sadly the case. Look at his CAPITAL LETTERS. Deranged little scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:49 PM
7

I was also thinking this. LOVE the video but it's like old rich guy v young hot broke guy too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:40 PM
3

This. Could even have separate ones for sexual harassment in the workplace etc. When I worked retail at uni I used to dread doing certain shifts because there were certain LVM middle-aged scrotes who had worked there all their lives and would stare constantly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:30 PM
3

I have to agree here, sorry, how come?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:29 PM
3

I just went for a walk to the shops (I live in a "nice" area). Was wearing an outfit that was very loose but pretty (not that it would be OK even if I were wearing a swimsuit). Literally stepped out of my house and had been out for *10 seconds* when two men walking by started staring at me. I felt uncomfortable so waited for them to get ahead, they kept on looking back at me as I walked behind them. One of them stopped to apparently look at something in a window, I had a feeling he wanted me to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:28 PM
17

Exactly sis. Look at the music videos nowadays v 5-10 years ago. Even for the same artists (e.g. Ariana Grande's recent vids compared to her bubblegum songs from around 2015). Society has gotten more pornified and porn addicted LVM are increasing. Even on social media like Instagram and Tiktok, girls are encouraged/influenced to do dances in skimpy clothing, post pictures that any old scrote can screenshot and save for life... There's something insidious going on. And even a lot of "trendy" fash…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:55 PM
14

Wow. Please don't let your sister get into this! Like you say, it ruins the chances at professional jobs. These photos are literally online forever. Because I work in a male dominated industry, I frequent career-related forums and guys often post stolen (barely SFW) pictures from Onlyfans (as well as online dating) on the "general chat" sections of these forums. I can't believe this has been normalised. Even 5 years ago it would have been seen as completely degenerate :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:23 PM
8

Hell, this reminded me of a narcissist I used to date. He stared me down in the gym once. It was inhuman. Literally a serial killer stare. I'd say block, delete, get a restraining order if you have to, let someone you trust in authority know what's happened. PLEASE do not let his stalking escalate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:19 PM
19

Just commented about this on another post. Wtf is with the constant promotion of women signing up to Onlyfans for one thing? Esp with so many young women losing jobs in the COVID economy... Who's behind this? It's disturbing sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:13 PM
15

It is ridiculous how much porn, prostitution and drugs are being promoted! Women signing up to Onlyfans is normalised through the media - wtfh?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:12 PM
36

Women who shit on other women for male brownie points remind me of this quote from "Gone Girl": "Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 09:10 PM
107

Omg that's disgusting. Glad he lost his job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 03:30 PM
63

She'd be smeared as an obsessed clingy girl lol. Really makes you think doesn't it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 03:28 PM
1

You're very welcome! :) Couldn't agree more, especially as a woman when you're socialised to be passive and blame yourself for others fucking up. But that's their problem as you say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 01:28 PM
2

A son of a family friend is an LVM in his 30s. He was good looking while younger and used to be a self styled "player" (barf) but alcoholism/drug abuse have taken a toll. He's also going bald. He's the sort of guy who criticises women on every little aspect of their appearance.. when said women are going out with much hotter, less scrotey guys. He texted my brother before asking my brother to "rate women out of 10." These were girls he had matched with online and he had taken their pictures off …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 11:49 AM
1

Bang on. This or they enable their sons to abuse other women (e.g. their sisters).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 11:45 AM
1

Mums like that tend to hate other women and live vicariously through their sons. Disgusting behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 11:43 AM
2

I love the Queen energy in your last paragraph! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 11:40 AM
16

This comment needs WAY more upvotes. Literally my first thought.I realize sometimes they don't reveal how awful they are until they have you trapped with a baby. But I guarantee there were red flags before this she ignored. Maybe he made the odd sexist comment, watches porn, comments on women's looks or follows IG models. Like this definitely didn't come out of nowhere. Spot on. This is why we vet vet vet, ladies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 10:55 AM
9

Taking this energy into my day, thanks sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 10:54 AM
24

The narc who just got back in contact (AND was blocked immediately) - after 3 months of not communicating - deliberately started texting me just before midnight on NY. He knew I'd be at a Zoom party with my friends and OTHER GUYS! Then he stopped texting me as soon as I wished him Happy NY. Too bad I had loads of other people to wish it to me instead! It has to be all about them. He said when he got back in touch, "You've probably blocked me now :'(". Tried reverse psychology to get me to respon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 10:53 AM
6

Best of luck leveling up sis :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 10:48 AM
30

Interviewer: Sorry, you didn't get the job. Good luck! Scrote: I am down to work something together if you provide enough perks. Lmao!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 08:50 AM
11

They will tailor themselves according to your "dream man" list. Babe, they'll pay attention in detail and watch you like a hawk. This is most accurate of men who have narcissistic tendencies. I'm on other career related forums where guys discuss online dating "strategies" (because I work in a male dominated industry, these forums are mostly male but also have chat sections). This is bang on. Scrotes are manipulative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 08:47 AM
1

This comment made my morning!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 08:44 AM
6

This, just WTF!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 08:41 AM
6

Good advice here, although watch out for guys "wokefishing" too (AKA pretending to be feminist etc for brownie points). :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:48 PM
2

I'll swap for the cold winter with you sis! Its springtime weather here but I miss the snow. On the plus side my spring clothes have mostly gotten here. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:44 PM
13

There's a disturbing amount of LVM going around calling women "mentally ill" as an insult nowadays (on Twitter etc - I saw a woman called "mentally ill" for sharing a Tweet that recommended that people still socially distance after being vaccinated!). Obvs, "women are crazy" has been an insult of the patriarchy for ages but as mental health awareness has risen, sadly so has the amount of scrotes trying to bully those with MH problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:23 PM
4

“Woke bullshit” sounds like you’re doing something right! This! You're the one in the right, queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:00 PM
2

Society often encourages it.. look at Instagram "jokes" on borderline emotionally abusive behaviour by scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:00 PM
8

Men need to EARN your attention sis. Good on you! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:29 PM
42

This sis! AKA "I want a mommy bangmaid therapist"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:24 PM
53

This. I don't feel safe for your friend OP, is there anyone in authority at the church she can speak to about this/show the text?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:17 PM
54

THOSE GRAPES WERE SOUR ANYWAY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:17 PM
4

Sounds interesting! Thank you sis :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 06:12 PM
7

Thank you so much! 🤗 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:58 PM
12

Let's not let them win here though sis 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:08 PM
5

Right back at you queen! 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 😘🤗💐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:07 PM
48

Happy International Womens Day sisters!!! 💜 Decided to read more about feminism, can anyone please suggest some books, sites etc.? Thank you in advance 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:06 PM
39

Just block and move on sis. They feed off attention.. even being told off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:05 PM
7

Omg that's disgusting! Sorry to hear, hopefully he learned his lesson though. I wonder where he learned that in the first place at such a young age?? Wow yeah, I've heard stories about racist Australians. I didn't have Kerry on the list but will avoid it thank you. I hope you enjoy it here! :) Manchester is very multicultural, you should be fine. Just make sure to pick a nice area though (the Reddit subforum for it should help there?) because it's a bit high in crime in parts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:40 PM
9

Thank you sis! Agreed 100%, it needs to stop. For me, it was done very subtly as well, in a gaslighting way (e.g. subtle ogling, being too much in my personal space, conveniently following my personal Instagram, complaining to the manager that my number wasn't on the staff list, etc.) Now have a great job in my chosen industry but there are as you say women who have no choice about this every day. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:38 PM
16

Bang on. He seems real PRESSED, definitely! https://media.giphy.com/media/3o72EUKuH4TNpjfvBS/giphy.gif
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 11:20 AM
6

Thank you so much!! I hope you get to move sis. I always thought it was my anxiety, but I lived in one of the "nice" parts of my city and still had to deal with regular things like middle aged guys trying to stare up my skirt in the shops. I used to be scared of even going out sometimes. Sorry to hear that, I can totally sympathise. Do you mind if I ask where in Ireland and Australia? I'm thinking of travelling to both those places post pandemic and will have to avoid them. I live in the UK actu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 11:09 AM
16

100% sis. Moved city last autumn, amazing how much safer I feel in a place that's got a different culture. It's a lot more diverse and woman friendly here. I had severe anxiety in my previous city, and it's pretty much stopped. I can go out without dealing with random LVM scrotes leering at me even if I'm just in the shops for 5 mins, racist remarks, etc. People are nice and friendly. Don't feel constantly threatened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:59 AM
15

As a WOC British woman this is bang on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:38 AM
196

Negs are so lame lmao. Agree with you 100%. Go sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 09:05 AM
50

Truth sis. Lots of less attractive bitter "nerdy" types try to do this to attractive women who give them the time of day. It's "revenge" for having been rejected by women when younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 08:56 AM
33

"He followed me upstairs... and trapped me by pulling the door shut on my foot" This is giving me flashbacks to when I worked in retail to get by at university. The levels of sexual harassment from a lot of older predatory staff members were disgusting. It was terrible for my mental health (which went back to normal after I was finally able to afford to leave).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 08:55 AM
20

So much this 🙂 This is why I don't date guys who treat other girls badly either - even if they're fine to me. No way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 08:49 AM
23

The narcissistic LVM I used to date in a nutshell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 09:27 AM
66

Yep, downright emotional abuse of women and manipulation into sex is often painted as normal. Shitty behaviours like ghosting, acting like a child to push a woman into the mommy role, stringing a woman along when all you want is sex etc. are "normalised."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 11:05 PM
185

Then there are the guys who use old pics and turn up looking like slobs. This is why I dont do OLD any more lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 10:41 PM
26

I recently wondered the same thing.I've looked at the HVM in my life and none of them even know of Reddit....I'd say yes, it is a denser culmination of the lowest 30% of our society, for sure.But also a big enough portion of the 30-60% of society - which are still not stellar people if you know what I mean? Not as bad as the 0-30% who are basically true assholes/losers but still far from the upper 40% of people who you want to have in your life AT LEAST, and ideally as many of the upper 30-20% y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 10:12 PM
39

jUsT cOmMUnIcATE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 10:08 PM
49

The guy in question always complains about his appearance as well, but wont even stop drinking etc. His mum (my mum's best friend) babies him TBF so thats probably why he has no self control. This is why I don't date mummys boys lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 09:58 PM
30

Yeah, have mostly told him off for trying to turn my twin brother into more of a "bro" lol. Fortunately twin has his head screwed on straight!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 09:52 PM
255

A friend just turned 30 lately and still "rates women out of 10," texted my twin brother pictures of women he'd matched with online in an attempt to brag (my bro told him off for stealing pics from their OLD profiles! This is why I don't do OLD myself!), says he won't date a girl who isn't rich, a "10/10," she has to chase him, he's the prize, etc. A lot of big talk. He was good looking when younger, but also has a drink/drugs problem, can't keep a job, and now has a receding hairline and dark c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 09:45 PM
104

This. I'm a WOC and have seen soooooo many LVM white guys who assume WOC are more "traditional" and "submissive", other BS etc., while bringing nothing to the table themselves except being a scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 04:10 PM
103

Read a comment on here b4: "Conservative guys want women to be private property. Liberal LVM want women to be public property" Dated around and I've met LVM from all sides of the political spectrum... the conservative LVM would try to push me into being more "girly" (even though I am but they wanted submissiveness and not questioning them) and try to control me. The liberal LVM would whine about me not putting out fast (at which point I dumped them) and were conveniently pro "female sexual empow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 04:06 PM
3

This. Just ghost sis, trust me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 03:49 PM
3

Agree 100% sis! Any guy who has a madonna/whore "looking for my mommy bangmaid" complex is not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 03:48 PM
5

Yep, men do not care. And I'm honestly annoyed by this rhetoric. We should NOT put our standards into the context of "he's using you while looking for his wife"🙄.. Okay, and? It would be worse to be his wife, wtf!?We 👏 do 👏 not👏 care👏what👏 a👏 lvm👏 thinks👏 is 👏wife 👏material!You don't need male validation. This! At uni, I had an LVM acquaintance (unattractive, chip on shoulder but called himself good looking and bragged about imaginary girls he'd dated) who would go round trying to give unsolicit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 03:39 PM
13

This. I'm lucky to know HVM both as friends/whom my girls are dating, but lots of guys want women for just sex. Would say the majority TBH. Because of the industry I work in I'm on a few male dominated career forums and they have "general chat" sections too - the way lots of guys talk about women there is horrible. They'll call them bitches, hoes, slampigs (LVM alert!), post pictures of girls they match with on Tinder to be "rated out of 10," admit to stringing women along just for sex, trying t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 03:36 PM
19

Same. You ladies are so smart and inspiring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:20 PM
5

Block block block sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:17 PM
3

I just had the LVM scrote who started texting me at midnight on NY only to ghost me after midnight (because he knew I was at a Zoom party with other guys) suddenly reach out after 3 months with "Probably blocked me anyway :( Hope are well" - No "Hope you are well." PUA level manipulation. Notice the attempt at reverse psychology (now he IS blocked!) and missing out the "you." I'm guessing stuff didn't work out between loser and his ever present ex lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:17 PM
4

Would usually say yea but I STRONGLY suggest OP goes to the police. Had a few friends in stalking situations sadly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:13 PM
3

Just used the BLOCK function on the one who suddenly tried to hoover me up after not texting me back for 3 months. There was the same tone and gaslighting word salad. Listen to this QUEEN lol: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPvazeXmDqU&ab_channel=mylife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:11 PM
7

The LVM who deliberately started sending me long flowery messages this past NY at midnight, to get my attention and distract me from other guys, only to suddenly stop replying for *3 months* once I texted him "Happy New Year!", just got back in touch recently: "Hope you're OK! Probably blocked me anyway :(" This is how I know stuff's going badly between his and his ex who was in the background LMAO. Eat shit, dude. Didn't even give him a reply, when he clearly wanted to manipulate me into one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 04:03 PM
23

Omg so much this. Got a text from the narcissistic LVM who texted me "Happy New Year" and started a conversation during midnight this past NY only to not text back for 3 months. Last night, I got a text saying "Hope are OK" (he couldn't even include the "you," WTF?). "Probably blocked me anyway :(" I'm not even replying! The emotional manipulation, lmao. SO obvious. He was always low effort but freaked out when I returned his energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 03:53 PM
3

Deadpool, Jordan Peterson, Elon Musk... certain red flags for LVM in who they idolise lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 05:38 PM
5

Not just Reddit but social media. Recently made my Twitter private b/c of the insane amount of hate I was getting off there from nobody loser men (I only Tweet about stuff in the industry I work in too)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:47 PM
7

Fo sho 😂 Literally trying to bully random women online into giving it up - wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:06 PM
3

cuz no-one else will :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 09:26 PM
8

Literally so SHOOK Just seems real PRESSED
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 09:23 PM
5

HVM value women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 09:18 PM
7

Rape culture in a nutshell, sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 09:18 PM
3

Borrowing this quote sis! QUEEN energy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 09:16 PM
4

Sadly, lots of women are practically brainwashed into this these days. Be the Cool Girl! Put out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 09:15 PM
6

I pressed the "Shut up" button in Chrome about 10 seconds in when this ugly scrote had the AUDACITY to try to gaslight this poor girl by calling her dumb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 09:13 PM
9

He's just proving WHY women should vet vet vet and make men work for sex lmfao. What an idiot. B/c any guy who wants to sleep with a woman and then cause "the inevitable heartbreak" is probably too lazy to wait 3 months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 09:11 PM
10

"He who must say, 'I am the HVM,' is no true HVM." -Tywin FDSister
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 09:05 PM
12

That guy isn't even attractive too, and I don't consider trying to manipulate random women on the Internet into giving it up to LVM like him being a "decent job". Lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 09:04 PM
46

No you're right, I remember my oldest sister dating 10 years ago (theres a big age gap in my family) and it was NOTHING like this. What she considered not worth her time would probably be seen as a good guy/making an effort today. I blame OLD and other things sis. Stuff like ghosting etc. is normalised, turned into a joke on Insta etc. too. When really its just pathetic LVM behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 07:56 PM
18

Definition of emotional abuse. He was the toxic horrible one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 07:54 PM
21

The fact that he said "I think she knew what was coming" SHOWS he knows it was all for him not her. Fucking LVM I swear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 07:51 PM
3

NO SIS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 11:28 AM
28

This. Also can we talk about how ugly that guy is? Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 11:07 AM
11

You go girl! I'm even taking a break from Insta despite not having any pics of me on there because there is so much brainwashing lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:53 PM
17

"Dick is abundant and low value." -The First Rule Of FDS Club :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:52 PM
16

Couldn't agree more. If you don't agree with it apparently you don't support fEmALe eMPoWeRMent *rolleyes*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:51 PM
23

I don't get all the girls who aren't models (in terms of not being paid to post bikini pics etc for advertising) on there posting more and more sexualised images. Like, scrotes will literally download that - once it's on the Internet it's there forever. I no longer do OLD but it was satisfying to send guys there my Insta (not a single pic of me, though I'm quite attractive) when they started whining for it before. And this is another reason I don't do OLD now, because so many girls there now hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:50 PM
2

YAS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:42 PM
5

Basically LVM just like pathetically trying to control women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:41 PM
28

If a guy I was literally just dating called me a "slut" he would GO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:40 PM
15

This. I'm very mature and emotionally secure, when I've dated guys who loved drama they couldn't accept that - they always needed to create BS to "feed off".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:27 AM
5

Hell yes, sis! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:25 AM
62

Probably like abusers who claim they're "nice guys." The fucking cognitive dissonance and AUDACITY. I hope she sent the vid to the police too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:18 AM
3

OP thank you, great post :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 09:57 AM
7

Because of my job I've worked with LOTS of "finance bro" types like this. I've got a position in the company an older person should and they often try to hit on me. They're insufferable lol - showing off designer labels, being "new money," bragging non stop... And clearly insecure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 09:33 AM
6

LMAO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 09:31 AM
3

Word! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 05:26 PM
222

This. All the guys I've known who put women down like this were v insecure about their ability to attract women, even if they were conventionally attractive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:22 PM
22

This woman knows ^
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:21 PM
9

One of the best posts I've ever seen on Reddit! Queen :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:18 PM
12

Ladies can I just say how much I laughed at this! FabledAngryVillager is right too - who wants a guy who's gonna play games like this? Massive no, even without the Burger King LVM scrotetics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:14 PM
61

And then do "everything she lets me get away with"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:08 PM
45

Make it clear to him on the first date there won't be a second
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:06 PM
2

Yeah I kind of have to agree with this, in my experience sometimes wokefishing/apparently feminist guys can be very passive aggressive and overexaggerate what they have to do to support women. I really hope it works out for you though OP! Thanks for the laugh! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:00 PM
5

Queen energy ngl hahahahahah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 02:59 PM
14

Hi girls! I need to rant lol. I've been close friends with an LVM guy for about a year now. We have loads of interests in common and really click (he's always been kind to me and sometimes mutual friends joke that I'm his gf/vice versa). However, he frequents online dating and I know from hearing his convos with other friends he has a strange attitude with women he dates; he'll either idolise them if he thinks they're pretty enough and come on "too strong"/love-bomb, or expect them to chase and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 02:52 PM
8

Lmao. That girl is beautiful. LVMs gonna LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:39 PM
10

And the PERSONALITIES... spew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 09:04 AM
6

"they actively try to lower others' standards" OH MY GOD SO MUCH THIS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 11:24 PM
6

Gurlllllll hahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 10:28 PM
16

I know what you mean sis! Wish I could upvote you twice :) Was on holiday in Scotland once and it was freezing, I borrowed this huge puffer coat off my guy friend I was staying with and went around in that all the time. Guys didn't hit on me in public, no panicking walking past construction sites, scrotes staring from cars waiting in traffic, etc. I'm thinking of buying more modest clothes now haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 02:13 PM
51

I have to agree here. OP I understand, we're brainwashed into blaming ourselves, but it is NOT your fault, please believe that. :( Your reaction was totally normal too. We're currently under lockdown in my country right now so gyms are closed and I haven't been since December. I realised the other day working out in my bedroom, I was enjoying it MUCH more than at the gym (despite not having any equipment). And then I realised I didn't miss the constant staring and perving at the gym at all times…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 02:10 PM
3

This :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:28 PM
13

I've never known a guy who rated women from 1-10 who was remotely HVM. And great post :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:28 PM
25

Have you ever seen delusional average/ugly men online constantly attacking the appearance of gorgeous female celebs like Scar-Jo, Nina Dobrev etc.? They can't rise to the level of hot girls, so they try to bring them down. Sour grapes lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:27 PM
8

aLl gUYS dO iT No. Onto the next one sis :P
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:15 PM
39

As a fellow WOC, I've definitely noticed this about some white LVM - they'll either just want to "try us," or see us as the "submissive" alternative to white women. Lots of ugly right wing incel LVM types in their 30s (the sorts who only have a salary to offer and nothing else) will go for East Asian women because they think that they "buy" one and "white women are bitches." They're so thick lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 04:07 PM
4

My dad was working 3 jobs and putting himself through trade school and still so excited to court and spoil my mother. He couldn't wait to buy her a house.I don't understand these losers who think spoiling a woman you love is a curse. Don't date then! Some guys like to court/spoil women. I only ever date those now, as well as guys who like to chase, compliment etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 08:52 AM
15

Yep, I'm pickier now than I was at university. The "cool girl" thing is defo pushed at younger women. All the guys I knew with decent/HVM personalities at uni had girlfriends, even the "geekier" looking ones who often dated out of their league. You're so right with your last paragraph! Money doesn't make a guy HV just like that. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:18 PM
97

I've dated guys who made 6 figures and were controlling, physically average looking and clearly butthurt about the fact I'm attractive and get lots of attention, were talking to their exes behind my back, etc. LVM come in all pay packets. Even Elon Musk (the richest man in the world) abused his first wife - there's an article on it. Lots of "geeky" types make 6 figures and then turn around and are bitter at the sorts of girls who rejected them previously. Usually also the sorts of guys who saliv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 10:22 AM
3

You're welcome sis. Yep, that's exactly the sort of stuff they say lol! "Nobody's perfect! Just communicate!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 06:39 PM
3

Queen! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 06:38 PM
7

Yep, actions speak louder than their words!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:26 PM
4

Damn straight, sis! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:26 PM
13

Omg so much this! In my experience the *least* reliable guys are the most likely to love-bomb and push for exclusivity at the start, too. They want control, and then they want to abuse it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:25 PM
11

Kudos to you sis! Worded it perfectly :) The patriarchy is insidious, it teaches women that they always "need a man," "never give up on him," etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:53 AM
33

"Just communicate" is usually an excuse for more gaslighting and "compromising" on BS there shouldn't even be an argument about. Brb, teaching a grown man about stuff decent people learned about in kindergarten.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:50 AM
36

I'm very straight up because I work in a male dominated industry (STEM related) that requires it lol. I have a shield up just for LVM like this who like women to play the "exhausted but Cool Girl mommy bangmaid role." I'm also polite but guys like this NEED to play games and drama. So they're passive aggressive, needle you, etc - anything to keep the "upper hand."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:46 AM
61

"Been soooo busy with (X) sorry babes!" "Oh sorry I thought you meant-" "I'm sorry YOU FEEL THAT WAY" Just pathetic lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:44 AM
22

I really like cars, so I used to hang out on a car forum (I couldn't even post because every time a woman posted they'd be like "OMG SHOW US UR TITS 1111", so I just lurked) Judging by the kind of cars I was looking at, they were wealthy men, but they would still post pictures of girls they had matched with on Bumble (no respect for their privacy), share "tactics" like pretending to feel ill on dates so they would "need" to go home and take the girls back with them... It was disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:40 AM
15

It's like arguing with a toddler throwing a tantrum. Agreed lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:39 AM
13

This. This so much. This is also why some guys "play hard to get," etc. "Wahhhh, women get all the attention, why can't I?!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:38 AM
17

Omg analogy of the day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:37 AM
52

This. Brb, "Message me!", "Snapchat: uselessscrote1995," etc. Pickmes have coddled men into thinking they deserve to be chased.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:35 AM
8

QUEEN So MUCH this. To narcissists, ANY attention = good attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:31 AM
5

Great post, sis :) Sadly, lots of guys like this actually *get off* on being told off etc. by women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:30 AM
72

It's all about control for these guys. Wise observation sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 03:16 PM
18

I'd literally block a guy if he posted that on FB. He seems like the type to steal womens' photos off SM and text them to his LVM friends like "rate this girl".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 01:49 PM
26

Pretty much this ^ (although as a WOC I've met some of these guys who have a clear race fetish due to seeing WOC as "more submissive" and other BS). Just overall barf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 01:48 PM
14

This. Actions speak louder than words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 01:29 PM
27

This. Can confirm, not caring gets to them more than anything anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 01:28 PM
56

Thisssss!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 01:27 PM
48

This. They want a mommy bangmaid whilst being completely useless as both a male provider and a human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 08:29 PM
38

Just pure disgusting. This reminds me of that depraved "art project" where people were allowed to do whatever they wanted to an artist who stood still in public for ages. They started off doing nothing but eventually ended up doing sick stuff like cutting and hurting her. Some people are depraved in the head, and will do anything to hurt others/for their gain till they are stopped. "All it takes for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 06:56 PM
16

I wish every woman was on FDS, sis! Their patterns of behaviour are so predictable once you talk to other women. I even posted about his actions before on a completely non-dating related subreddit and had three or four women saying "it sounds like we dated the same guy." I suspect these kinds of guys also pick up horrible advice on women from the manosphere, PUA movement, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 06:52 PM
30

This is very true. At university, I knew a girl who had no reason to have low standards - she was absolutely stunning, long blonde hair, played tennis for the county/university, studied a tough subject and could have had her pick of guys. She came from a great family and was very popular, too. But for some reason she ended up going out with the worst guys... She helped one guy who was obviously on the rebound and called her over whilst "on a break!", was constantly labelled derogatory words for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 08:02 AM
106

It is actually disgusting. It's emotional abuse. If they see a great woman who DOES know her worth they'll play games, try to break her down etc. (One average looking LVM I dated refused to compliment me on anything, despite being physically out of his league - and yet all the hotter guys I had dated did?!). They would never actually raise their game and be better dudes, that requires accountability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:08 PM
32

He's probably weighed it up in his head and figured that the benefits of dating her (mommy bangmaid, etc.) outweigh the downsides (esp if she's a pick-me who doesn't ask for much). I feel so sorry for her. This is why women need to vet vet vet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:06 PM
27

Those guys are the worst tbh. At least if a guy's saying he just wants an ONS or a fling he's being honest. The other kind will try to manipulate you into giving yourself over emotionally, too. It can be downright abusive. I've had an LVM start sulking and ignoring me because I told him I wanted casual and not something serious. He kept talking nonsense about wanting me to be "his girl" but his behaviour was not up to my standards and he knew that. He didn't just want casual, he wanted me to be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:57 PM
2

Yep, no thanks.. i'm happy with a book, a nice glass of something, and Netflix. I like my peaceful, lvm free life. The next one is going to have to be perfect for me to persuade me to even consider trying again. Amen :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:54 PM
14

Where is all this audacity coming from? Srs question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:50 PM
16

Why the fuck would I have sex with you during a pandemic when a vibrator can do it better? THIS IS MY NEW ENERGY GURL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:49 PM
162

Can confirm. I've had LVM try me alllll the time and even more so once I told them explicitly I was high maintenance, had high standards, they saw their friends chasing after me (cue "Oh, she's too fussy, you wouldn't want her!" and other shit talk). They like to try to get high value women for nothing. They feel threatened by women with high standards and think that "screwing her over" (like the waste of oxygen in the OP) for a "good deal" is "putting her in her place".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:49 PM
436

The words "trained well" actually made me feel sick. 100% he's emotionally abusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:47 PM
47

I guarantee she's more attractive than him AND that makes him feel threatened SO he writes bollocks like this online.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:46 PM
16

This wise lady has said it all ^ :) So true! ❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:46 PM
8

Oh yeah, definitely. LVM can come in all shapes and sizes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 06:15 PM
24

This post was bang on time for me. I no longer deal with men who harass me on the streets by letting 'em gaslight me. Just went out for a walk (I live in a very safe little town) to the shops, and was walking down the High Street (it's quite wide) when I noticed a middle-aged man slightly behind me and to my right obviously ogling me (I was wearing an outdoors jacket and skinny jeans - scrotes will find any excuse!!!). His head was literally turned at an angle. I turned to stare back at him and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 02:29 PM
4

Defo see where you're coming from - it's like LVM sometimes trying to "whittle down" women like me who will tell them flat out they have high standards, rather than going for the Pick-Mes who chase them. They like to try to degrade women who deny access. I've literally seen guys online bragging about how "if I can get an 8/10 to beg for me back it'll be the greatest achievement of my life." Like wtf???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 01:07 PM
2

Thank you so much sis, I'm far away in more ways than one right now (live at the opposite end of the country, deleted them off social media etc). I agree, it's so weird how similar our stories sound. But on the plus side when women share stories it shows how guys like this use similar tactics. The "sad nice guy" act too - he was such a coward, if I started calling him out on stuff the way I do in the boardroom he would revert to that. He would literally say "I'm a nice guy," and yet have a clear…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 01:04 PM
5

I'm glad I could help sis :). Yeah, unfortunately I've also had experience with guys trying to provoke fights passive aggressively and then calling me "oversensitive" over calling them out on it, sulking and ignoring me when I'm sociable, trying to control me when I was out partying... No. The anger was defo also a thing, a couple of them went to great lengths to be seen as the "nice guy" or "the sad guy" but were actually really dark, bitter people under the surface. They would occasionally com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:58 AM
3

The post also introduced me to the term “toxic positivity” which also perfectly describes why the people with “good vibes only” in their bios just piss me off. One of my relatives is literally the most "positive" person in the world - constantly sharing "see the best in people", "let your light shine," etc. quotes on her Insta. She once criticised me for "even daring to think" bad thoughts about a person we both know who's hot and cold, and I was shocked - she's very happy go lucky but also weir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:40 AM
12

It's like guys who'll happily whinge, wheedle, manipulate etc. women off online dating into one night stands but will never see them as a "serious girlfriend", but for some reason they want to be considered a "serious boyfriend"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:33 AM
35

This. I used to do casual stuff a few years back, but I had to be careful to weed out the guys who seemed to use sex as a way to "get back" at women or degrade them. Ironically, despite the stereotype of the "handsome dickhead" this was mostly the less attractive, socially inept guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:27 AM
89

The more they insist on something the less they mean it. "I'm a nice guy" = he is really NOT a nice guy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 04:08 PM
2

Likewise :D ❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 09:33 AM
11

I have anxiety that used to be severe, but I've managed to somehow be courteous to all the guys (save LVM/game players!) I date. Whereas guys will use MH issues as an excuse for acting like narcissists, being flaky, trying to provoke and bring down someone else, etc. Unfortunately, although I wouldn't wanna discriminate I now have to turn down guys who say they're even depressed. In my experience it leads to the above. Although I sympathise they need therapists, not women to baby them and ignore…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 07:58 AM
23

The rise of the "cool girl" trope as well. Just been rereading "The Rules." Pick-mes always existed, but back in the day that behaviour wasn't cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 11:16 PM
14

Any monologuing = fine dude, talk to yourself. I've said it before on here and I'll say it again: lots of dudes (and this goes x100 for OLD) need a fucking therapist. Not a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 11:04 PM
27

The instant a guy brings up his ex it's pretty much over for me. I want to be talking about US, not some "girl that got away" who still lives rent free in your pathetic head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 11:02 PM
25

Never watched it, but I read that line and I was HOWLING. I agree with the OC as well - there's a definite "porn norm" and it's getting worse and worse. Onlyfans is seen as "the norm" now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 10:54 PM
52

Their recently turning off political preferences to protect the disgusting traitors who stormed the US Capitol should tell you all you need to know sis. Bleh >.<
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 10:46 PM
5

I wish I was surprised OPI hope you find a date who values you as the cool person you are So much this, OP. <3 Online dating is the worst for this, because its nature leads every scrote and his tiny dick to jump on it and treat it as a meat market.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 10:44 PM
15

I agree here as a WOC - not to downplay another woman's experiences ofc, because LVM can and will find any reason to try to portray a woman as a sex object, but white privilege very clearly plays a part in trash racially fetishizing WOC. It's just another thing to add to the power dynamic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 10:39 PM
14

I have had a couple of scrotes express disappointment when they heard I was born and raised in the West - they want the "subservient FOB" stereotype, not a woman who earns more than them, is probably going to be a CXO in the next couple of years and is a very strong minded twentysomething. Even if that stereotype isn't always true. One of these guys' exes was apparently begging him to move her over from Indonesia (where she worked as a uni teacher, so it wasn't like she had no options), which wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 10:32 PM
16

Holy crap, that's disgusting. Please tell me you blocked and deleted. OP, I feel you. I'm part South Asian and used to use dating apps, I didn't have so many weirdos but there are definitely more weirdos overall on OLD. I can say, I would have sniffed out the racial fetishes a mile off IRL. I've had guys call me a "brownie" and then try to argue over why that word wasn't offensive, badger me over "Where are you ORIGINALLY from" on the first date, tell me I can't be English... the fucking list go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 10:29 PM
5

I just texted the last LVM "bye" before deleting him looool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 04:27 PM
25

"Not my circus, not my monkeys." -One of my favourite quotes. No GF privileges without having *earned* the right to be my BF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 04:25 PM
4

Or therapy too. I don't want to hear an LVM whingeing about his unresolved issues with his ex on the first date, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 04:24 PM
2

Tell me about it sis, and when they start messaging like they've known me for years... just wtf!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 10:03 AM
1

Jeez, I'm so sorry to hear that. I can imagine. I played netball for my uni and one of the team once broke her rib (though I didn't see it). It was horrible even just to hear about though. I'm so glad you are okay now. Hope that waste of oxygen got his just desserts too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 04:44 PM
13

I swear there's an LVM guidebook somewhere around sis, much like our FDS one lmao. They literally always use the same weird "games." I even posted about an LVM I'd been dating in a subreddit that's about personalities and nothing to do with FDS, and about three or four women said that it sounded like I'd been dating the same man they had! Agreed lol. Men like this play games b/c they know they're not high value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 04:43 PM
6

Holy crap... I'm so sorry to hear that. Hope you are doing okay now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:19 PM
7

Very good point. The guys were also in their late twenties/early thirties, but would refer to me as "baby girl" etc. and patronise me sometimes, too. Guys like that will try to put you down, definitely. I even got hit on a crazy amount at the store, despite wearing an unflattering uniform and having to work in a ponytail and barely any makeup. Some scrotes would come in and deliberately try to make me uncomfortable by hitting on me. One even asked where I lived. It's a power thing for them. The …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 01:39 PM
2

As a twentysomething woman, every time I have to deal with some clueless, repulsive, looks like a toad LVM in his 50s harassing me at the gym or shops or wherever thinking he has a chance with me, I think porn is often largely responsible why. The guy is often at LEAST twice my age. Example: all the disgusting "stepdad" vids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 01:08 PM
28

It surprises me how many men really don’t believe in emotional affairs. I’ve heard men blatantly describe themselves in an emotional affair with some female best friend and not get why it’s wrong. “I mean yeah I tell her every detail of my relationship with my girlfriend and complain about my girlfriend to her and we text every single day and I tell her more things than I tell my girlfriend and go to her first for my problems. I don’t see the problem here.” I once dated an LVM who was doing this…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:47 PM
8

What goes around comes around haha! Best of luck to you sister. You dodged a bullet there :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:45 PM
15

Exactly. It's toxic masculinity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:40 PM
24

Part of me questions if that’s what he always wanted, someone who was a little less This strikes a chord. I've had "my busy career I'm soooo busy" guys start acting weird when they realise how much I earn in my twenties/what position I'm in career-wise. Back when I was at uni and dating as someone who worked part time as a waitress or in retail, similar guys almost seemed to prefer it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:30 PM
14

This sis! The whole "nice guy" act (to the point of saying that one red flag, "I'M A NICE GUY") but they never see women as people wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:27 PM
14

I have had LVM howl at me about how picky they are when being politely informed I have high standards in men. Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:25 PM
16

I have an Instagram account w/ nothing but pictures of my pets and things I've cooked, not a single one of me. I know how scrotes behave online. But that doesn't stop them from commenting heart eyes on my Stories about my cats or sending me pictures unsolicited of their ugly ass faces in the hopes I'll send one back. Blocked. Some men don't know appropriateness, I feel you. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:24 PM
28

It's a sign of future attempted gaslighting. I used to date an LVM who would deliberately "misspell" certain words while texting so they became like womens' names. E.g. "lava cake" would become "Lara cake." This is the same guy I saw (a couple of years after ending things with him) pretending to be 30 in Bumble when he's actually 32. Fucking lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:23 PM
21

Lmao! Sis, I would bet every single £ I've earned over my professional career he has NEVER hooked up with a hot girl. Sorority or otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:21 PM
61

This. Hannah, judging by how unstable the guy sounds, was probably very scared and gave out a fake number as a "last resort" after being pressured into it. But hey, when you're an LVM who cares about her feelings? It's always the wimmenz' fault!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:20 PM
18

I literally came in expecting to see Jordan Peterson lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:19 PM
37

English, sister. DO THESE SCROTES EVEN SPEAK IT? I have told insecure LVM random things perfectly politely in plain English and suddenly had them lash out conversationally because they took (or CHOSE?) to take it the wrong way and read some hidden meaning into it. When men "play games" they often project this onto the women they date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 09:20 PM
168

This. "When you off" is abrupt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 08:37 PM
34

i cAnT rEaD uR MiND uR oVErEaCTing lEtS SeE wHErE tHiNGs gO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 02:37 PM
31

nObOdYs PeRFect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 01:25 PM
2

I sadly know a few girls who justify their "spark"/feeling like "twin flames/soulmates" etc. with some horrible guys to stay with them through some horrible relationships. I personally have an abundance mentality/am hypergamous re: guys. If he isn't HV? Thank you; next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:34 PM
5

Your last line is beautiful and reminds me of a Taylor Swift lyric. Keep on being that strong woman LVM can't cope with, gurl! "Darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:28 PM
4

The "exotic foreigner" part struck a chord. I'm mixed, and get that sometimes from LV white guys with fetishes who will assume certain things about me JUST based on my racial background alone. Whereas other guys who just see a "hot girl," to them you are "object of X race" and they also project characteristics on you As you say, they treat you like "dream girl" for a while and then as soon as you show your beautiful individuality - it's shocked pokemon face from them. But it's not your fault, it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:27 PM
3

Thanks hun! :) Yep, if a guy is constantly making promises and not following through, I tend to cut 'em loose lol. In fact, in my experience the bigger/more far fetched the promises and love bombing at the start, the less straight talking and down to earth he is - the less likely he is to be reliable. It's all fluff! Haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 04:05 PM
2

Aww thanks haha! Glad you liked it :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 04:01 PM
9

Yeah, definitely never blame yourself for it. They are like that to EVERY woman. The guy in question gaslighted me very subtly and had severe communication issues. I think a lot of them act like that because they are incapable of genuine emotional connection or see it as making them "weaker." The ones who are less physically attractive often also want to "get one over" on women, or "play the game" to make it seem like they have more choosing power than they do. As the saying goes: You can polish…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 01:36 PM
9

That's beyond weird lmao. As I mentioned in my first post too, he admitted to using a wrong name "not to seem dodgy," but with no mention that he was actually 33, not 30. LVM are just sad sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 01:24 PM
15

Thanks hun! I had dated him a year prior and he was 32 then. So why was he lying about his age? Must have been trying to get more twentysomething girls. Weird as hell!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 01:08 PM
9

I work in a management position. I aspire to be this boss. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:00 PM
11

This is perfect. "There are two ways to dehumanise someone, by putting them down and by idolising them."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:53 AM
3

They really do all show the same traits! Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:51 AM
3

Wow. Good on you sis, don't! Yep, why is self improvement not an option for these punks?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:51 AM
1

I guess maybe they are makeup for men then lol. Thanks for the tip!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:27 AM
1

I will also say beards, now this one is a matter of preference but I really cannot stand how a guy turns into a different persona a soon as he shaves his beard. It's alarming, so definitely move forward with that in mind. Can you please expand on this haha? I usually go for the beardless suave types but am curious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:00 AM
14

"men who love Jordan Peterson..." Also this hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:56 AM
28

Agreed. I don't really think it's entirely accurate but FWIW I always type as ENTJ, and the amount of grandstanding you get from guys who CLAIM to be our type because it's the "big money making type" is amazing lmao. Regardless of type - if he's an LVM he's an LVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:55 AM
25

Oh my GOD this resonates lmao! I saw a guy I used to date (flaky, wishy washy, manipulative) who was actually 33 pretending to be 30, with a different name. He said in his profile something like "My name isn't really (fake name). Not to seem dodgy, I just value my career and have had issues with women on here in the past. :)" NO mention of the fact he was also lying about his age. (This is the guy I ended things with after he described himself as a "bencher". He was not massively attractive let'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:52 AM
20

The more a guy tries to seem "nice", "serious" or "sincere" the less likely he is to be it. It's like in Game of Thrones, "any man who must say 'I am the king' is no true king."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:43 AM
31

She is ON FIRE! I love to see it lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:42 AM
24

It's amazing how many men misinterpret that movie lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:20 AM
14

I dated an LVM (who knows a few people I know) back in 2019 who'd project his idea of me onto me constantly - assuming I was into certain TV shows etc. I dumped him after a few months due to being flaky and inconsistent. Every time I acted in a way he didn't "assume", he just didn't GET me at all or listen. I learned from a mutual friend he'd seen a pick-me ex of his (whom the mutual friend also knew) shortly after we ended things so I assume they were "talking". From the sounds of it, this ex w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:19 AM
2

Welcome! I'll keep an eye out for it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:02 AM
1

I would love to read that series! Good luck!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 09:53 AM
3

Exactly! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 08:31 AM
158

This needs all the likes. I've got the kind of personality that means I value actions much more than words. I've been called scary in the boardroom but I *will* vet men to similar standards. Talk is cheap. As much as I wouldn't tolerate missing deadlines from a new intern I won't tolerate flakiness, "welllll maybeeee we might as wellll go out" half hearted BS from a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:44 PM
14

Very well said 😂 . They want a mommy, therapist, woman with no particular needs of her own, who has no communication standards, lots of them even want to abuse and demean in bed... No prize to be "picked" by them, yet so many pick-mes still fight for it. Whyyy lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 05:12 PM
38

I too have noticed this with an average guy I dated. They can't just be straightforwards lol, but it wasn't my job to fix his insecurities. He ruined it for himself. You know the guy you're seeing is playing games when every single tall, attractive, twentysomething guy you've ever even gone for drinks with will text, show respect, and compliment you on your appearance... meanwhile this badly dressed, short, scruffy faced thirtysomething thinks he can subtly try to "neg" you, be passive aggressiv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 12:10 PM
14

They let their insecurities shoot them in the foot... sis you dodged a massive bullet there! I am sure you will find an HVM guy who IS in your league too :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 12:08 PM
38

Yes girl! They literally never approach the way the attractive guys do too, lol, and then they probably go online after rejection and whinge about "Chads". They have zero to little experience actually dating a woman because most women shoot them down instantly and then they go online and get weird ideas from other bitter "alpha males." They think that acting in a ridiculous, entitled as you say and audacious manner is a short cut and makes up for their lack of physical attractiveness, personalit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 11:48 AM
88

I'd been going to the gym regularly before lockdown closed them last year, let's just say I'm pretty attractive and I used to get some of the guys coming up and asking for my number. Provided they were polite I didn't care though I didn't always give it out, only if I found him attractive. Anyway, one day I was getting ready to leave when this 5 ft 2, tennis shoes and long socks, baggy T-shirt, awfully dressed, mullet haircut, generally ugly and skinny guy barged up to me and demanded "Can you d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:24 AM
6

I'm half Desi. That side of my family is actually pretty modern (none of my uncles or aunties would ever consider an arranged marriage for instance). For some reason though, a lot of my female relatives on that side, despite having all the education/money they need, seem to find it really difficult to date and then end things with a guy even if he's clearly not good for them to the point of being narcissistic/emotionally abusive. I've seen it happen quite a few times. My uncles are all great HVM…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 12:00 AM
8

The LVM I ended things with a few weeks ago, and I had reason to believe would become emotionally abusive as well as hinting at not having much respect for consent in bed, point blank told me he liked that I was introverted "because you'll spend more time with me" and "we can do our thing, fuck all those other people". He also clearly hated it when I was socialising with my friends (even at "virtual" Covid-safe parties!), he'd stop replying to messages suddenly or respond "It's cool if you like …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 11:49 PM
1

"Forgive and forget"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 08:55 AM
4

Yep, completely agree. I suppose COVID has made lots of people turn to online. But when I start looking for a serious relationship after the pandemic I won't be using OLD at all TBH. Read an article the other day about how it makes both genders more cynical/depressed about finding an LTR; I already know/can meet decent guys offline. Its "meat market" nature isn't really great for finding a guy who's commitment minded either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 07:23 PM
3

Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna talk any moreeeee :D I must have watched that video over 100 times as a teen lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 01:33 PM
1

The latest Madison Beer song is very FDS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=481t7UwDtbU&ab_channel=TheNewVibe I don't speak boyshit You're always coming back but your love's poison So I think that I would rather just avoid it I can't understand ya, 'cause I don't speak boy, no I don't speak, I don't speak, I don't speak boyshit (Woo) Don't know how to talk or communicate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 01:23 PM
4

Yeah, it's a shame more women can't see what THEY uniquely bring to the table. The whole basis of pick me mentality is thinking that you're not all that special so you have to pander to a LVM's nonsense to make them "pick you". I think HVM can be rare but nowhere, nowhere near THAT rare lol - although I can see why some women might think that esp. if they've been doing online dating and/or dating during the pandemic. Most of the HVM I know IRL are through my networking/career, social circles, et…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 01:14 PM
3

I do semi agree, but I know a few women (a cousin springs to mind) who are veeeery close with their fathers, and still live with their parents in their early 30s despite being employed/educated (I'm from a cultural background where this is the norm back home), are bought designer things and taken on expensive holidays to places like Dubai with their parents, etc. The fathers are absolute angels, spoil their "princesses" rotten, great HVM. But they raise their daughters to be very dependent on me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 11:58 AM
7

Exactly lol, it's pretty obvious when someone's being a pick-me in a bucket. It's great to want a complete relationship. People also tend to see the world through their expectations, so if you think HVM don't exist or are 1 in 1000 you are probably more likely to settle for the LVM whose manchild behaviour you justify to your friends. You're going to give up trying. It's like people who think they can't become wealthy - they very rarely do. "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 11:51 AM
10

B-b-but I'm the alpha male, and I deserve an attractive woman who puts a lot of effort into her appearance and life in general to give herself up to me - with no effort on my part wahhhh. This is because iM tHE aLPhA MaLE, despite no evidence to prove it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 10:45 PM
43

Exactly! Standards are through the floor these days. Hollywood likes to portray it as normal though - the thin, conventionally attractive, well organised woman with some unattractive slob like Jonah Hill who throws all his underwear on the floor, lets her down and is a pain. It's shown as normal for men to be menchildren. Women are fed rom coms, and men have tripe like Superbad advertised to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:46 PM
20

Yeah, no point having a guy around who's a liability and like a bad roommate. I know HVM exist and I'm going to find one though (just not dating RN due to the pandemic). It always comes across as pushing the usual boring narrative that "women must settle for LVM/ohhhh you'll never find a guy like that!" when they try to bring down my relationship goals. That, or it's women trying to bring other women down which is just sad lol. Especially when I'm young, slim, attractive, sociable and can have t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:34 PM
108

This type of future is literally my nightmare I know a few women who are in marriages/LTRs like this (I've talked to them) and they all like to try to "bring down" my relationship goals with stuff like "fairytale relationships don't exist" and "relationships are hard" and "dream relationships are unrealistic". Hmmm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 07:02 PM
14

Literally "either going to laugh or cry" from her. Girl please find some self respect... :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 06:53 PM
13

Aww sis that's lovely! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 05:02 PM
8

Yeah, I've had my moments, but it should alllllways be the guy going the extra mile to impress YOU, lol. Prove he's worthy of commitment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 11:34 AM
22

I have several Muslim extended family members, and I always LOL when alt-right MAGA types online get all excited about how Muslim culture apparently lets them oppress women and "Islam was right about women." Fun fact: in Muslim culture it's considered a SIN for a husband to so much as ask his wife to pay for one thing... his money is her money, hers is to do what she wants with. LVM/NVM want all the benefits of "traditional" patriarchal culture but none of the downsides (gotta pay up).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 08:22 AM
5

Sounds like an HVM lol - empathetic and doesn't just take, take, take from women. Compare this to some LVM/NVM, who throw tantrums over being expected to even cover the first date, and keep a running tally of how much they grudgingly do for a woman before whining about being "owed" sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 08:19 AM
1

Yep, I think in his twisted mind he saw it as a compliment? But there's no way it was even true lol, he had a habit of saying grandiose things in a manipulative/future faking way. I bet it worked on a pick-me in his past, but I am very down to earth and straight talking so I hate it when people make out there statements like that. Wouldn't have been surprised if it was pressure at all. Oh my God, that's horrific! I am so sorry to hear that, what an absolute little waste of oxygen. The things the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 08:11 AM
112

One of my best friends in school was sadly nearly sexually abused by a stepdad in a very similar situation. She had to stay at mine for a long, long time. Who "enabled" it? The pick me, codependent mom who apparently literally caught her stepdad hanging around the kitchen in just boxer shorts with his d**k out at the time my friend would come down on her for breakfast (she played sports before school most days) and then rationalised it away to her daughter, who walked in on them both arguing. "I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 09:04 PM
31

And should she know he'll try his best to "bring her down a peg" before getting blocked with the quickness. He knows he is not man enough to "earn" her by impressing her so has to try shady ways/negging which he sees as a "shortcut". Also speaking from experience there ;P
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 08:59 PM
56

This is also why a lot of LVM looooove to "future fake". One Day (AKA never) they'll ask you to be their GF, take you travelling, buy you lots of designer stuff, blah blah out there promises. All without any effort you notice, just words. This way they can manipulate a pick-me into giving them "relationship benefits" without actually getting into a relationship, they can also sleep with other women because "we were never in a relationship anyway!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 08:58 PM
30

From experience, nothing triggers an LVM man more than a woman who's aware that HVM men exist, is used to them, and has high standards as a result.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 08:47 PM
35

That's what I keep wondering 🤷🏼‍♀️ And I am in a relationship with a guy that meets my standards so no it's not impossible in this day and age to get dates that are planned and paid for, flowers, thoughtful gifts, no porn addiction, faithfulness, exclusivity... you know all those things LVM say we don't deserve. Good on you, congrats sis! :) And yes, they often gaslight us by saying "ohhh, you're old, fat, ugly blah blah blah" when it's more like them projecting. I'd argue that conventionally at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 08:34 PM
66

NAILED IT Hence why scrotes often go to extra effort to "neg" beautiful, accomplished etc. women. After all, if they have high self esteem and no BS tolerance they won't stick around for long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 08:30 PM
7

Lol yes, reading through a lot of FDS threads lately I've come to realise this. Especially the quality of the men dating during this pandemic - a lot of them are looking to use women as free therapists/prostitutes (literally, hence the "walk date" nonsense)/mommies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:25 PM
13

Yep, I realised at the end he needed a therapist, not a woman. He was always moaning about his job, manager, parents, feeling misunderstood, etc., and used to say stuff like "you're the only thing making me happy right now." I'm definitely not the sort of person who would even want that sort of thing from a partner, in the unlikely event it was even true. That's unhealthy as hell and I was not going to be dragged down with him. Apparently, his ex actually worked as a counsellor and was a "suppor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 05:55 PM
10

Ugly, socially inept (what MAN tries to mansplain a WOMAN on her own anatomy), and never seen a vagina IRL? Check to all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 03:16 PM
45

The LVM I recently ended things with got annoyed over (I kid you not) a freaking ZOOM party held on NY. Yes, a VIRTUAL party (hence why I ended things). He also refused to compliment me and quietly sulked once he noticed how much attention I got from other guys. He subtly tried to control me by expressing approval at my stating I was introverted, and being nicer when I was upset, in a bad mood, apparently "needed him" - but seemed to need drama and to rock the boat by passive-aggressively being …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 02:34 PM
2

Thank you! Glad I could help :) <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:00 PM
9

Having an LVM anywhere around leads to emotional deprivation at the very least, that's for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:08 PM
35

The LVM guy I recently ended things with said that he liked that I was an introvert because it meant "we can stay in and do our own thing." He also started sulking because I went to a freaking *virtual* NY party, and was always more chatty and fake-nice when I was anxious or in a bad mood, versus when I was happy and confident, when he would start playing games or making little jabs. Scrotes in a bucket.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:03 PM
1

I did that as soon as I started posting here. Goodbye scrotes, you don't even exist to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 02:31 PM
92

That smile doesn't lie! :D Good on her! Meanwhile, Cruise is still yet to be in a healthy relationship - proof LVM don't change when they meet another woman...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 01:47 PM
7

Good on you! Agree on the second point too, society gaslights women into second-guessing or overthinking breakups. How many movies show a woman breaking up and actually being better for it instead of crying with her friends, eating loads of ice cream, and ending up broken? Hollywood has a lot to answer for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 10:48 AM
28

So much this. Looking at it another way, I have previously dated guys I wasn't interested in not because they were LVM, just not my cup of tea. I came clean and let them know nicely, rather than flaking out not texting, "needling" them and doing passive aggressive jabs to make them break it off, texting exes behind their back to hook up with and other garbage. That is how people with values treat those they date and aren't interested in. But incel/LVM/NVM men think "Oh, girls are awful to averag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 09:05 AM
12

This is such a good post, and completely agreed. I'm actually going to copy one of my replies to a previous thread because it's an interesting IRL example :) Don't immediately start woman-blaming yourself for benig "not enough", instead ask yourself why a great woman like you has picked such a loser and raise your standards. "Guuuurlll... thank your lucky STARS it is not you. Who wants to get more entangled with trash. HVM do not be insincere and lead women on. FWIW: a few years ago, long before…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 09:00 AM
3

This is very true. OP, I hope you take this to heart, and focus on yourself in the days to come. Don't blame yourself for crazy. You probably just picked lots of LVM in a row. Note that I said you picked them. That's true, you need higher standards, not to wonder "why is it not me?" Guuuurlll... thank your lucky STARS it is not you. Who wants to get more entangled with trash. HVM do not be insincere and lead women on. FWIW: a few years ago, long before I discovered FDS, I too was dating a guy wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:45 AM
2

Exactly this. Is it that their parents haven't taught them how to be adults, or what? And congrats! :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:26 PM
28

Same here if I'm being honest. Coffee dates are a go to for cheap NVM/LVM, hence a great way of screening them out. Also yuck @ walk dates. And yuck @ admitting to being lazy. And yuck @ the whole damn bio. Also, did anyone else pick up on MAJOR major future faking in that bio? He's the sort of guy to idolise women then the instant they show they're a real human being with boundaries etc = boom, gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 10:37 PM
47

Oh god this. My exes, who were all tall "Chad" types incels love to hate on, would always shower me with compliments, tell me they were lucky to have me, etc. I've noticed attractive guys seem to be more secure about giving women compliments or acting a "gentleman" as they have always been women's first pick and so nothing to be bitter about. The guy I just ended things with, though... Short (5 ft 8), borderline overweight, straggly beard, average at best. He barely even called me pretty, and ac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 10:32 PM
11

Precisely why I never stay friends with exes lel
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:17 PM
16

It's self-sabotaging behaviour at its finest. If I'm even entertaining/texting a man he's passed my standards of physical attractiveness. But these insecure little guys think "Chad" or whoever is out to steal their girl and get very, very nasty. An average-looking guy I dated a few years ago told me that he preferred women who were introverted (as he thought I was - I am the opposite!) because "it means we can stay in and do our own thing, we don't have to follow the crowd." I once also texted h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 07:39 PM
7

That’s because even the ones who consider themselves “male feminists” (I mean, lol at that in itself) bought into the nonsense that feminism should include taking into account the male perspective. They’re shocked - shocked I tell you - when they realise that there are women who will present their needs, wants, standards and boundaries without ever consulting men on whether it’s acceptable. I used to date a "male feminist" who was "all about equality". Surprise surprise, it led to him throwing a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 11:06 PM
21

The funny thing is, an actual prostitute would cost more. Sooooo many LVM trying to treat "proper" dating like a cheaper way to get easy sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 09:18 AM
3

Amen to that! ❤️ Happy NY queen! :) x
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:27 PM
4

Happy New Year, lovelies! Time to level up! One of my NY resolutions is (1) to not date till the pandemic is over and (2) to hold guys to the highest of standards post that :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:26 PM
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