~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| – | The overwhelming are women are painstakingly disingenuous about gender roles. They want gender roles not because "it's sexy" and more because a laziness and convenienceSo... should we not argue in the effort of loosening cultural behaviors and societal norms for women? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/26 09:04 PM |
| – | Do you like someone more when they're exceptional at things you're deficient in, or when they're similar at things you're exceptional in?it's a question where i hypothesize that women prefer the former more than the later but the answers didn't really tell me much, i didn't see much gender difference and most people just said both | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/26 03:31 PM |
| 3 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?I don’t disagree that it’s an unhealthy mindset. I just found it interesting that the criticism you reached for was “it’s unattractive” when you could have just said “it’s unhealthy.” There's just something ironic about saying, "Why do you attach your worth to whether you're fuckable or not? If you keep thinking like that you'll be really unfuckable!" The person who is already preoccupied with desirability is still being addressed through desirability. It's a counterproductive way to frame thing… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 11:06 PM |
| 2 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?There’s something sort of ironic about this framing. By describing it as “an unattractive mindset,” you’re shifting the conversation back to whether a man’s thoughts and behaviors make him more desirable to women. That seems to reinforce the very performance-based framework hooks is criticizing, where a man’s value is measured by his desirability rather than his inherent worth. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 10:23 PM |
| 3 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?Yes, people will always have reasons for why they value another person, but there's a difference between valuing a similar sense of humor or a connection gained through shared interests / values, and valuing someone for how they measure up to competition. A lot of women don't realize that there's a societal pressure where men are expected to be more competent than women, partly because women select for it more heavily. It's just part of reality, but there could be more grace for men's struggle i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 07:41 PM |
| 1 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?I'm have a very hard time understanding your second paragraph. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 07:18 PM |
| 1 | Do you like someone more when they're exceptional at things you're deficient in, or when they're similar at things you're exceptional in?Well, sure, that would make sense if the goal was to make my life easier. But, that's not really what creates connection and love for me. I find that similarities strengthen the bond I feel with people because there's more of a sense of shared understanding. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 07:15 PM |
| 1 | Do you like someone more when they're exceptional at things you're deficient in, or when they're similar at things you're exceptional in?yup, in your absurdly specific scenario. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 06:39 PM |
| 1 | Do you like someone more when they're exceptional at things you're deficient in, or when they're similar at things you're exceptional in?well i gave everyone two options to see what they prefer so it's a little annoying that everyone is saying both | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 06:36 PM |
| 1 | Do you like someone more when they're exceptional at things you're deficient in, or when they're similar at things you're exceptional in?Someone who likes drums... Is that supposed to be revealing or something? lol | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 06:35 PM |
| 2 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?It felt to me like she was using "maleness" pretty interchangeably with men here. So I interpreted it as "Loving men is different from praising and rewarding men for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 06:32 PM |
| 1 | Do you like someone more when they're exceptional at things you're deficient in, or when they're similar at things you're exceptional in?I'm sort of the opposite. I'm attracted to people similar because I feel like it creates connection, I don't really understand people who are attracted to people who are different. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 02:25 PM |
| 0 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?I agree with you that feminism should be seen as womens' rights activism. I think that defining it as "the belief that men and women should have equal rights" is sexist because having a "fem" prefix for the word for equal rights obviously biases it in favor of women. It'd be like if you called the belief that all races have equal rights blackism. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 07:26 AM |
| 1 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?it's alright, don't sweat it | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 07:18 AM |
| 1 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?It wasn't framed as if it's unique to men though. I didn't see any evidence of that framing in the quote. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 07:14 AM |
| 1 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?I'm even more confused. Is your objection with the use of "maleness", because I think all that was meant by that was people who identify as males. The problem is that masculinity is already associated with confidence / competence / competition. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 06:35 AM |
| 1 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?I'm a bit confused about how your second paragraph conflicts with how the quote would function in practice. Isn't your example the exact point Bell Hooks is making? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 06:07 AM |
| 0 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?Obviously. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 05:54 AM |
| 2 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?well, the quote is less about choosing to be yourself, and more about why that's so hard for men, but i feel you | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 05:49 AM |
| -1 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?I think it's a quote which highlights a big insecurity men have. That insecurity is partly brought on by the preferences women have in romantic / sexual relationships. Women don't have to change their preferences, but they should probably have empathy for the insecurity it creates, and do their part to detach from gender stereotypes when arousal is not a requirement. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 05:33 AM |
| 2 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?Ideas like this should be encouraged, but a quote like this just creates infighting because the feminist movement is so divided. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 05:26 AM |
| 4 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?I think women's sexual arousal to men is often sparked by "masculine performance". I think it's to an extent that women's sexuality is actually quite distinct from male sexuality, which is much more centralized around physical appearance. This inevitably puts a lot of pressure on men to perform signifiers of competency. But, I don't think we can simply just shift the culture to socialize women away from this preference. I think women's relationship with sex and gender roles is very much wrapped … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 05:20 AM |
| 0 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?Unfortunately I don't think words work like that. There's enough prejudice in the feminist movement that the word now carries certain connotations. Sort of like how incel became "male virgin who's a misogynist" over time. how the majority perceives a word is what a word is. the feminist movement failed to distance itself from this rhetoric so now it has to take on this baggage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 04:59 AM |
| 0 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?Feminism means many different things at many different times. Right now the movement is undergoing an extreme prejudice problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 04:21 AM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Yeah, but they categorize for different reasons. Women select for "masculine characteristics" and have a much more reactive sexuality. There's more reasons women "friendzone", as opposed to men, who mainly do it because of physical attractiveness. Women don't generally have to do / say the right things for men to be turned on. Men's arousal is largely visual. Women just have to not say the wrong things so that men aren't turned off. I'm not making a judgment of either gender, I'm just telling yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 03:56 PM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.When did I say anything about how someone should respond to the friendzone? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 05:24 PM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.wut | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 05:08 PM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.I just included what I think are the most common reasons. And there's definitely exceptions. How did you and your husbands relationship move from friends to lovers? :) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 03:23 PM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.lol do you have any idea how condescending you sound? Very disrespectful way of talking to people, dude. I talked about what I wanted to with specific examples. If I shortened it to "women have more criteria" it wouldn't express my full perspective on what I think the specific criteria is most often, and how men and women's sexuality differ. If I'm trying to be persuasive I don't think it's very convincing to hit people with a TLDR blurb, but I know some people aren't used to reading. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 08:44 AM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.I dunno, I tried my best, I didn't think it was that confusing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 08:34 AM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Aaaaah, now I see why women keep saying it's not a real word. Because mostly men use it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 02:02 AM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.well I can at least point to a google search, ChatGPT, the most upvoted posts on Urban Dictionary for my definition. Where can you point me for yours? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 02:01 AM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.I think if you were talking with a random normie who's not chronically online and you were like, "so I was talking to this nice guy the other day", or "Josh is deep in the friendzone, I feel for him" I don't think they'd think you're using weird incel terms actually. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 01:42 AM |
| 2 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Geeze, I guess I should have defined friendzone, I didn't realize it'd be such a struggle to pin down what it means. Here's the definition I think a random person on the street would agree with if you asked them what it means: The "friend zone" is a dynamic where one person in a platonic friendship desires a romantic or sexual relationship, but the other person strictly views them as a friend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 01:37 AM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.There's so many things wrong with this. You're actually using friendzone as an adjective, not a verb. The verbs would be "got" and "feel" in your examples. As the other commenter said, "I feel friendzoned" works grammatically, the same way both "I got hurt" and "I feel hurt" both work. When someone says “I got friendzoned,” they’re using a metaphor. The phrase imagines a “friend zone” as a place someone can end up in. What they’re communicating is something like, “I feel like I’ve ended up in a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 01:33 AM |
| -1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.well, if there isn't a way to prove it, I guess this is where our conversation ends | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:56 AM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.I find it pretty predictable you got downvoted, I don't see what's funny about it, your take is fairly controversial. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:53 AM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.So what makes your definition more accurate than my definition? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:38 AM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.No, I still think most people think of the word the way I do, I just think y'all are radical. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:29 AM |
| 2 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.My definition aligns perfectly with the first definition I see on Google, so that's the definition I'm using. Friendzone: A relational dynamic where one person in a platonic friendship desires a romantic or sexual relationship, but the other person strictly views them as a friend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:24 AM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.You say "these men." What men are you referring to? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:21 AM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Google it. Or ask ChatGPT. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:19 AM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.And I never said you denied that men get sad. The word does not turn that sadness into a claim of injustice, that's baggage you're bringing to the term, it's just a way to describe how something feels. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:17 AM |
| -1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Bro, google it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:14 AM |
| 6 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.No, because the friendzone is when one person wants a romantic relationship and the other person doesn't. I don't know why this is so hard for y'all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:12 AM |
| 2 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Well, I am gonna say this isn't what the friendzone is. You're extrapolating from the actions of a minority of men, and using that to transform the word into another definition. It's the same thing women did with "nice guy." Nice guy used to just mean nice guy. Now it's a shorthand for a guy who pretends to be nice in order to get sex. This was also done with the term incel to the point where I think yall have successfully changed the definition from "someone unable to find romantic or sexual pa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:11 AM |
| 2 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.I don't think it's a bad post either, I just think I could have generalized the male side a little better. I understand, thanks for your perspective. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:02 AM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.I think most men desire connection as well as sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 12:00 AM |
| 2 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.It's embarrassing that it took you this long to figure out they mean the same thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:59 PM |
| -1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Now you're getting it! The friendzone is a millennial term for unrequited love. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:58 PM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.A. Women can express interest as well instead of putting the responsibility solely on the man. B. Even if someone isn't interested in me it doesn't mean that my feelings for them are gonna change. Sometimes we can't control the way we feel. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:57 PM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Incorrect! There could be a friendzone with no rejection, where the guy doesn't express his true feelings at all. I'll write the definition one more time. The friendzone is: a relational dynamic where one person in a platonic friendship desires a romantic or sexual relationship, but the other person strictly views them as a friend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:52 PM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.The friendzone is a person (often a woman) not being attracted to someone (often a man), while that person is attracted to them. That's all it means. I don't know why singularity has any bearing on whether something is or is not a word. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:46 PM |
| 3 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.That's not what the friendzone means. That's how you feel about the friendzone, because you'd rather demonize men than empathize with them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:36 PM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.All words are made up. It's meant to reflect a feeling, not an injustice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:30 PM |
| 2 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.lol explain to me how it's entitlement to want something really badly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:26 PM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Feel like you gotta be a pretty hot guy to pull that off, right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:20 PM |
| 5 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Yeah, that's still being friendzoned. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:18 PM |
| 7 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Strawman + lack of empathy. It's a term made up to express men's sadness and frustration. Totally normal emotions for these situations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:18 PM |
| 2 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.I'm not hyper literal, you're just illogical. Sometimes it is a result of your behavior. I've heard of so many examples of... "I would have been into you if you'd have made a move!" Or, here's a classic... the guy asks why he keeps getting the "no spark" text message and I ask him if he was flirting with the girl at all and he says no. Sometimes there's other reasons... sometimes the people are just wrong for each other, but I've seen enough examples of this playing out that I do see a correlati… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:16 PM |
| 3 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.This is totally reasonable. Man, now I'm regretting the wording of my post. A person has to be very careful making these types of arguments. Do you think you could have a Best Friend who has a different lifestyle in this way? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:06 PM |
| 2 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.hey man, you're doing too much. if you don't allow for deviations, you're an ideologue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:04 PM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Now you're doing the thing where nothing has any clear definition so it's impossible to have a conversation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:03 PM |
| 1 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Explain to me slowly how "wanting something and not getting it" precludes something from being a word. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 11:00 PM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Yeah, obviously. Nobody said that wasn't the case. You're doing the thing where you're not responding to the real definition of the term, you're responding to the way it makes you feel. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 10:58 PM |
| 4 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Nope, you're trying to weight the word in a manipulative way in order to villainize men. Men would never describe it as a "demotion" because they never got demoted. They'd describe it as "an unfortunate reality." Attraction often does involve pushing the right buttons. This is plainly obvious to anyone with a basic grasp of common sense. There are reasons we like the people we do. Women like to handwave all that away to some magic in the ether because they hate the implication that there's thing… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 10:54 PM |
| 0 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Perhaps I'm being a little reductive to make a larger point. What were the things that made you not want to date them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 10:19 PM |
| 3 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.It's a term people use and we all understand what it means. That's like saying the concept of situationships doesn't exist. It doesn't make any sense. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 10:17 PM |
| 12 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.I will never understand this weird talking point that "there's no such thing as the friendzone." Like... that's not how words work. The "friendzone" is a slang term for a situation where one person desires a romantic or sexual relationship, but the other person strictly prefers a platonic friendship. Saying this term doesn't exist doesn't make any logical sense. People use the term. It exists. Men don't assume that, they hope that's the case because they like having sex with people who are nice,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 10:14 PM |
| 1 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?are you able to give more details about how this has worked with yourself? i'm trying to understand it. what was the obstacle. what about it did you like. how did your relationship evolve with this person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 07:20 PM |
| 2 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?I don't think people have a hard time committing when they're sure they love the other person. What I see in situationships is a lot of people with mixed feelings and real incompatibilities. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 06:54 PM |
| 2 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Some men. Yes, because men are actually able to bite bullets sometimes, unlike women, who are terrible at criticizing their gender. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 06:02 PM |
| 4 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Some men say this. A minority of men. Even within this, I think a lot of these men do want commitment but they lie to themselves because they don't think they're capable of falling in love. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 06:01 PM |
| 2 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Empathy is being able to understand how another person is feeling. I think it's helpful to empathize with everyone, even the people who hurt us. In fact, it's especially helpful to empathize with disgusting people, because it helps us not go along the same path they did. The comment was hate speech. If all was fair on Reddit the MODs would have deleted it but I'm glad they didn't, I like it being out in the open for us to see. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 03:26 PM |
| 1 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?That's interesting because the same idea exists for men. Being too interested in the woman will lead her to see you as less valuable, and people want what they can't have. Sex and relationships are often built upon power dynamics. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 03:19 PM |
| 3 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Wow, this post ran the gamut. Horny, messy, depressing. You should write books, I enjoyed reading this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 06:26 AM |
| 1 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?okay, that's more clear what a strange dynamic. I wouldn't think a guy who's gone through a string of situationships would be the type to have an AI girlfriend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 06:08 AM |
| 1 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?I guess the hard thing to navigate as a woman is to try and figure out if you've truly gotten the guy to love you, or if he's just finally caved because he's gotten hooked on having sex on tap. I feel like that'd be super confusing, I'd have a hard time trusting what he says. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 06:06 AM |
| 1 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Can't argue with anything you said there | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 06:02 AM |
| 1 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?That sort of just sounds like a situationship, no? You pulled a 500 Days of Summer, essentially. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 05:49 AM |
| 1 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?no, i don't think it's all about looks with women, i'm not blackpill, there's other factors that women look for, like charisma and confidence and "masculine" character traits. i think when women select for interests and values first, men are more likely to connect with them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 05:45 AM |
| 6 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?I think this is a good answer. Tragically, sex is not a good way to get someone to love you. They need to love your personality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 05:42 AM |
| 2 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?I think that's a convenient excuse that people give because it sounds nice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 05:27 AM |
| 0 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?I agree, this behavior is sociopathic, and disgusting. Your comment is also disgusting. It's not okay to describe them as a cancerous leech that needs to be killed. That's vile, hateful sexism. Try empathy instead. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 05:03 AM |
| 2 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Sure, I wasn't aware that men react in this way so commonly, sounds pretty toxic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:45 AM |
| 2 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?gotcha | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:43 AM |
| 9 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Do they? Maybe they're just angry that their opportunity for easy sex is leaving. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:40 AM |
| 6 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Sorry to hear that. Did you have things in common with these men? Similar interests / values? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:35 AM |
| 2 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Men lie about the degree to which they like someone because if they're honest there's a chance the woman won't want to have sex with them anymore. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:32 AM |
| 1 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Makes sense | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:30 AM |
| 2 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?If there's women that like having casual sex because they find it fun, you can't say that those choices disempower women as a general rule. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:29 AM |
| 13 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?I think this idea that men don't want commitment is one of the things that women most misunderstand about men. I think most people desire commitment with someone they truly love. I think it's more common that the man just doesn't have strong feelings for the woman beyond sex but likely would want commitment with someone else. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:27 AM |
| 3 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?well, is that not the case? the point of choice is that you're free to make harmful decisions. the ability to choose is feminist. the consequences of those choices is neither feminist nor anti-feminist, it's neutral. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:21 AM |
| 2 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?i don't think "scared of commitment" is a reason most people are in situationships. I don't think people tend to be scared to commit when they really like the other person, I find that situationships tend to involve major incompatibilities. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:17 AM |
| 1 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?for sure, this could be a blind spot I didn't put enough thought into. do you think he desperately wanted to be in a relationship in general or desperately wanted to be in a relationship with you specifically? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:14 AM |
| 0 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?And they want to be in real relationships with the women they're with, right? Not just any woman, or a different woman entirely? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:11 AM |
| 3 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Oh, okay, I definitely don't see that nearly as much, but it does happen. I have experienced in the past that when I tried to label the relationship, that was a surefire way to end it. Partly because the woman already knew she didn't see me as long term potential, partly because of gendered power dynamics. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:10 AM |
| 4 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?Huh, interesting that you're lumping men and women together. Do you hear of many situationships where the man would like it to be a real relationship and the woman doesn't, but still stays in it out of insecurity? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:03 AM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Well, it's also the fact that A. It's very difficult to become confident if you are not B. people are becoming increasingly less confident due to lifestyle and poor socialization and C. this is a proactive trait that is disproportionately selected for in one direction. Can you think of traits women are selected for that complicate the discussion a lot more? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/06/26 06:45 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I know you're having fun virtue signaling about about how confident you are and how much pussy you've gotten, but if we consider that a significant portion of the population finds it hard to change their personality to become confident, and men's dating success is much more dependent on this than women's, wouldn't this factor make dating harder for men, as a whole? If I said, "It’s hard for Americans to afford a house," would "No, it’s only hard for some Americans... the ones with low-paying job… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/06/26 05:17 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Okay, but this wasn't a post on whether it's normal or not to see confidence as attractive. The post was about how women's high selectivity for confidence makes dating significantly harder for men. Do you disagree with that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/06/26 08:06 AM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Women are worse at handling it, but lucky for them, men don't select for those traits like they do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 02:43 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.More men do it than women, are women inferior to men? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 02:35 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.There's a lot of women who find these traits too hard. Yet they're ready to date. And, it is what it is, but this makes dating harder for men, as a whole. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 01:04 AM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.It's not that those are considered good qualities, it's that men don't get turned off by weakness like women do. Most men are just looking for someone similarly attractive. Someone who they have good conversations with. Someone who shares some interests and values. Their arousal is not dependent on "gendered behavior" like it is for women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 06:29 AM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.This is a great example. If I was in your situation with the genders reversed I wouldn't be turned off by the woman and there's a lot of men who'd feel the same as me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 06:15 AM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Ok. And I still stand by everything I said in my post. I wish you the best as well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 06:13 AM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Confidence isn't a trait I especially select for. That doesn't mean I want an insecure woman. I select for empathy, emotional intelligence, honesty, and artistic taste first and foremost. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 06:03 AM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Oh, ok, thanks for clarifying. That's a good addition, I think I basically agree with your points. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 05:17 AM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Isn't it fun when we condescendingly say each others names as a power play Jolly? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 05:09 AM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I still don't understand what you're trying to say. I never gave a reason for why the preference exists. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 05:08 AM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Both things can be true at once. If you're not happy you're sad. If you're not sad, you're happy. What are you missing here Jolly? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 04:56 AM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Where did I imply that women are selecting for confidence because they want men to suffer? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 04:54 AM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Sounds like you must be someone with a lot of experience approaching men. I'm curious, how often have you done it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 04:45 AM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.And yet..... for some reason, you described confidence as someone who's not always insecure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 04:43 AM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I feel like you're not being very empathetic and you're speaking down to people less fortunate than you from a position of privilege. There's a serious empathy problem where someone will say "I feel terrible because I'm 30 years old and I've never had a girlfriend. I feel like an absolute loser" and someone will respond with, "Ok, and why is that? I think your problem is you care too much about being in a relationship. Try to love yourself first. Otherwise, you sound a bit.... entitled." A respo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 04:41 AM |
| 4 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Since when was this a post about myself? I'd say the majority of people are not like this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 04:29 AM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Would you describe happiness as the absence of sadness? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 03:54 AM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I just find it odd that you're defining positive traits by the absence of a negative. I don't think there's just confident people and insecure people. I think there's confident people, insecure people, and normal people. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 03:17 AM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Athleticism would absolutely not be someone who's not horribly out of shape. It'd be someone who's exceptional at athletics. I don't know why someone would bother listing confidence as a core trait they're attracted to if they just meant baseline "not wildly insecure", I feel like most people would take that as a given. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 02:42 AM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.There's not a scale depending on gender, there's a scale depending on whether someone presents exceptional confidence or not. If I'm saying, hey, I'm especially attracted to this thing, I generally don't think of it as like a typical, bare minimum thing. If I say the #1 thing I'm attracted to is athleticism, I wouldn't define that as "someone who's not horribly out of shape." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 02:03 AM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Bad relationships still provide validation though so it's not like it's a complete wash | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 12:37 AM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Thank you for apologizing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 12:29 AM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I've performed at open mic events plenty of times without a problem. Respectfully, I don't need you and your husband to psychoanalyze me. I don't need your help. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 12:19 AM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.If you ask a woman what she looks for in a man and she replies "confidence", I don't think the definition she typically imagines is "someone who isn't always insecure." Men generally want a woman with a normal amount of confidence. They don't necessarily select for a "confident woman" though. Two different things. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 12:08 AM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Well, confidence is useless without the context of the rest of your personality, so that's why cold approaches don't work. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 11:38 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I think you’re treating courage and self-assuredness as mutually exclusive when they’re often related. Someone who is truly self-assured may not need courage in every moment, but most people become self-assured by repeatedly acting despite fear of rejection. Being yourself in a world that rewards conformity usually requires courage before it becomes effortless. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 11:36 PM |
| 0 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Okay, well, I highly disagree with that blackpill framing. I think women are less visual than men and so behavior plays a big part in their arousal. Agree to disagree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 11:14 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Do you have a definition for femininity as well? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 11:10 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.That's a good one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 11:08 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.You don't think there's mid confident guys who get pussy? Interesting, that hasn't been my impression. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 11:06 PM |
| 1 | I always assumed most people on dating apps don’t want commitment due to COL, not being “trash”This sounds like a good explanation but I don't buy it for a minute. I'm more inclined to believe that men who don't want commitment behave that way because they don't actually like the personality of the woman they're seeing, but they find her pretty enough to fuck. If they found a woman whose personality they liked they'd behave differently. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 11:03 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.How does "I will be myself, and even if some people don't like me, I'm still going to be OK" not fall under bravery? Most people do not behave this way, it requires courage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 10:48 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage."View on our own abilities to do something" and "perception of ourselves" sound pretty similar. Are you just using self-confidence to talk about ability / skills and self-esteem to talk about beauty? because otherwise I'm struggling to see the distinction. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 10:41 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Yup, having a confident partner makes the woman feel more safe and secure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 10:11 PM |
| 4 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.This is complete bullshit though. It's entirely natural for men of a certain age to feel sad and unhappy if they don't experience a relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 10:00 PM |
| 0 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage."Men select for traits that are far more difficult for women to self-improve upon." Like what? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 09:57 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Wrong. First of all, we're not just talking about red pill men, we're talking about men in general. Second of all, instead of feeling intimidated or emasculated, it could simply be the case that men select for it less because they value other things. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 09:54 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I'm less confident in social environments, especially with people I don't know. It's pretty common for my mind to go blank and not be able to think of anything to say, which, understandably, gets in the way of connection. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 09:47 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Good points. When women say they're attracted to confidence they often mean a man who PRESENTS as confident because otherwise they wouldn't know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 09:40 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Yes, and I believe I'm a creative genius, but I don't feel very confident going to a bar alone on a Friday night because I know I'm not good at making random social connections in that way. When women say they're looking for confident men there's a bunch of associations rolled into that.... self-assured, decisive, take charge, unequivocating, comfortable in their skin, confident in approaching / flirting. Someone who acts like they know what they're doing, generally, in life. I don't believe mos… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 09:38 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.If it weren't difficult to improve on then a hell of a lot more people would be confident. Someone could say it's easy not to eat sugar and processed food, but if I were to look at the habits of people across society I'd deduce that that's not the case. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 09:25 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I'm already confident in my poetry. Like I said, I think I'm a creative genius. I'm less confident in other areas. But, this post was not supposed to be about myself, it was a general observation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 09:22 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.That's good advice, but I still think it's possible to know who you are and still not present as confident. Maybe you're confident about your career, but not confident socially. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 09:15 PM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Isn't it a crazy and convenient coincidence that it all averages out to being the same exact level of struggle? Funny how that works. Men generally want someone who's of similar attractiveness that shares some core interests / values. There's variance here, but this tends to form the base of attraction. Women's arousal is more complex and dependent on "masculine behavior". So.... more requirements, more difficulty from the man's point of view. Women tend to equate confidence with masculine behav… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 09:13 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Yes, men value things in women, but they don't value confidence nearly as much as women do. This is a trait that is favored disproportionately more in one direction, and it's a difficult trait to improve upon. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 09:00 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.No? When I ask women what they mean when they say they want a confident man, I generally get some version of: self-assured, decisive, take charge, unequivocating, comfortable in their skin, confident in approaching / flirting, someone who acts like they know what they're doing. Confidence is context dependent. I am confident in my ability to write poetry, I think I'm a creative genius. Would I be confident if I was playing baseball? Would I be confident going to a party without knowing anyone th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 08:45 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I never made a statement about whether it made sense or not. I said "this is a fact of life." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 08:16 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Yeah, obviously. You CAN do a lot of things. But that's a cheap pivot to move away from what DOES happen. I never implied that nobody should do anything they can't do the first time around. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 08:05 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.It's harder to get sex AND relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 07:38 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Yup, confidence can be learned. But it's difficult, and many people will fail before they learn it. And that's work that men have to put in to arouse women that women don't have to to nearly the same degree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 07:36 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Because men's attraction is primarily visual. How he feels about your personality determines if he wants more than just sex. Yes, women's arousal works differently. There's more required for their arousal. This makes dating harder for men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 07:27 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Most people do not present as confident. So, it's a preference that filters out a lot of men. Women don't get filtered out to nearly the same degree on this basis. I'm not sure what "reasonable" means in this context. Is it understandable that women want this? Yes. Is it reasonable to expect everyone to be confident? No. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 07:24 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Some standards or preferences are harder to achieve than others. It's quite difficult to become a person that presents as confident if you're not already like that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 07:17 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I said women select more for confidence than men do and therefore men need to be more confident than women on the whole if they want to get into relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 07:12 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.How the hell would I know that's a man? Funny how you're assuming things about my motivation instead of just engaging with the points I make. Not cool. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 07:11 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Sure, but don't women select for confidence a lot more than men do? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 06:59 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Jesus, how come every time men say they have something harder women interpret it as, "You're saying it's all our fault!!" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 06:58 PM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.So... dating will get better when men learn to be happier single? <image> | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 06:51 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Could be selection bias. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 06:48 PM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Most people are not competent and confident to the degree where it's seen as a standout trait for them, no. I don't think "believe in yourself" is a good summation of what people mean when they say they want someone who's confident. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 06:45 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Yes, and wouldn't this make dating harder for men? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 06:17 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Sure. Guns are another tool that have a negative effect on society. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 06:08 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.And I'm describing what it's done generally. Overall, has it made people more confident or less? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:40 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.these chicks don't want us unless we can get into the Salty Spitoon but u gotta start somewhere. 🤷♂️ haha | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:38 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.You're describing what technology COULD do. I'm describing what it has. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:36 PM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.haha Spongebob references stay evergreen. what exactly do you mean by that though? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:34 PM |
| – | when women say they're attracted to confidence, what do they mean?Sure, very good points. I just feel like, anecdotally, online, whenever I see women asked what they look for in a man, it's SO common for them to list confidence as a top priority. Do you ever observe that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:32 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Well, people definitely do a motte and bailey on what confidence means. It either means "a decisive, take charge, self-assured dick-swinger who can approach, flirt, and knows what they're doing" or it means "someone who's not a wildly insecure shut-in" depending on what's discussed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:30 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I'm not saying that everyone is disadvantaged, I'm saying that generally men are more disadvantaged than women because men don't select for confidence to anywhere near the same degree, and it's actually quite difficult to change your personality to become confident. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:28 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Neither men nor women like obese people. Yet, women have a far greater preference for confidence in men than the reverse. So it's something that men need to change if they want to get women, much more than women need to change. I believe I've made my point and we’re talking in circles so I'm gonna stop here. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:26 PM |
| – | when women say they're attracted to confidence, what do they mean?Okay, well, that's nice, thanks for sharing. I don't think yours and your friend group's taste represent the majority opinion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:22 PM |
| – | when women say they're attracted to confidence, what do they mean?You don't think introverted women are attracted to confidence as well? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:11 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.You're swerving all over the place. A lot of men will need to change if they want relationships because a lot PEOPLE aren't confident. But women don't have to change in this way to anywhere near the same degree if they want relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:10 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Men need to change if they want relationships with women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:06 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Do women have to change? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:04 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Okay, but wouldn't this naturally make dating more difficult for men? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:03 PM |
| 0 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.To a much lesser degree than women like to think. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:58 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Incorrect. Men are at a disadvantage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:57 PM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.The disadvantage I'm describing is that men have to change their personality to someone who's seen as confident. Something that's quite difficult to do. The disadvantage you're describing is women thinking a man is confident based on how he talks online and then finding out he's less confident in person. With what I describe, the man has to make proactive steps to change his entire personality. With what you describe, the woman has a harder time screening. I think the former is a much bigger ask… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:55 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Confidence absolutely requires risk and bravery because self-assuredness requires risk and bravery. Being yourself means people are going to disagree with you, and there's going to be conflict, and you have to stand on your square regardless. Risk and bravery. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:50 PM |
| 5 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I didn't define it because I wanted to see what you all defined it as. I asked women to define it in another post and the common responses were along the lines of: self-assured, decisive, take charge, unequivocating, comfortable in their skin, confident in approaching /flirting, someone who acts like they know what they're doing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:45 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.This was a post about confidence. If you want to talk about full-time-jobs, make a post for it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:40 PM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Yes, it's easier for insecure men to act confident behind a screen. Not sure what point you think you're making. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:39 PM |
| 7 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.So the burden for men is BEING CONFIDENT and the burden for women is finding a confident partner? How can you not see that what you're describing is unequal? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:38 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Are we talking about man tits? No. Well, then your example is something that women have and men don't. So it's not analogous, not even getting into how much men are way more lax about boob size than you seem to imply. Both genders have the capacity for confidence. And yet one selects for it far more than the other. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:37 PM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Respectfully... no shit, sherlock. This doesn't change my point that it puts men at a significant dating disadvantage compared to women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:33 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Because women don't have to be confident to anywhere near the same degree and changing from an unconfident person to a confident one is actually a big change that's quite difficult. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:30 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Yes, and women are attracted to this because they desire safety and security. Men know they have to create their own safety and security, and therefore don't have confidence at the top of the traits they're looking for. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:19 PM |
| -1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Okay, but most men don't list it as the first thing they look for in a woman. That's what I'm talking about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:14 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.actively getting back to you and meeting you half way is NOT confidence. It's insane how low the goal posts are moved for women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:12 PM |
| 6 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.But it's really difficult to change from an unconfident person to a confident one. And women don't have to take on that challenge nearly as much as men do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:11 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.I mentioned "the digital age" and social media is tied up in the core of that. If less people are confident, and confidence requires risk, bravery, initiative, and proactive thought, isn't that going to eliminate a lot of men from contention, whereas their similar-personality counterparts of the other gender don't struggle nearly as much? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 04:09 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.The digital age has made people less self-assured, and less comfortable talking / flirting with the other gender. Don't you think that being confident requires significant risk, bravery, and proactive thought that one gender has to maintain more than the other? I don't see how that's not a disadvantage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 03:57 PM |
| 0 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Why? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 03:53 PM |
| 0 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.It's something women select for way more than men do. Do you not generally find this to be the case? So, leaving your bedroom and talking to real women is all a man has to do to be seen as confident? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 03:53 PM |
| 2 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.How is it weird framing? I find it factually true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 03:40 PM |
| 1 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.So, what would you say the equivalent to women's desire for confidence is for men? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 03:39 PM |
| 1 | If women highly value confidence, doesn't this put men at a significant dating disadvantage compared to them?ok i'll make a new post, thanks | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 03:27 PM |
| 2 | Fear of automatic cheating or getting an STD aren't the biggest reasons why women won't date bi men. Their reasoning is mostly due to their idea of masculinity.It seems incredibly natural to want to be with someone who's similar to yourself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 03:16 AM |
| 2 | Fear of automatic cheating or getting an STD aren't the biggest reasons why women won't date bi men. Their reasoning is mostly due to their idea of masculinity.Men don't date women who LOOK butch. They will absolutely date women who look feminine but act butch. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/26 08:45 PM |
| 4 | when women say they're attracted to confidence, what do they mean?They'll use the real version of the word when you ask them what they want in a man. Then, they'll switch to the "absence of a negative" version when you point out that this focus on confidence above all else puts men at a significant dating disadvantage compared to women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/26 11:00 AM |
| 2 | when women say they're attracted to confidence, what do they mean?I think that's probably what most women mean by it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 11:20 PM |
| 1 | Fear of automatic cheating or getting an STD aren't the biggest reasons why women won't date bi men. Their reasoning is mostly due to their idea of masculinity.So, that sort of sounds like a no. Your point still stands, it's something to think about, but I just find it interesting that women are specifically attracted to gendered behavior in a way that men aren't. At least not nearly to the same extent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 04:51 PM |
| 0 | Fear of automatic cheating or getting an STD aren't the biggest reasons why women won't date bi men. Their reasoning is mostly due to their idea of masculinity.Well articulated. Do you find it a turn on when she acts feminine? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 04:45 PM |
| 1 | The "patriarchy" didn't teach men to hide their feelings. Life did.That's not how I interpreted it. I interpreted it as him not crying at all but his mother teasing him, acting like he was about to cry. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 04:37 PM |
| 19 | Fear of automatic cheating or getting an STD aren't the biggest reasons why women won't date bi men. Their reasoning is mostly due to their idea of masculinity.most straight men want a feminine looking woman who acts like a man, it's true | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 03:50 PM |
| 0 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Yeah you're probably right. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 05:26 PM |
| 2 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"🔥 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 06:08 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"and do you want your partner to share some of those interests? I know one thing for me specifically is that I'm a big film guy, and I'd need to have someone into films because it's just too much of what occupies my mind. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 05:57 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"I think I'm a genius writer and poet. Writing comes naturally to me and I think I have a unique, important voice which is a reflection of our times. my main account is u/JonMyMon Ok, that's cool. I'm sure if you asked my friends they'd say I'm selling myself short and I'm better socially than I say, but it can be like night and day if I'm with someone new, and can't find a branch for connection. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 05:52 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"I'm confident in the sense that I think I'm a creative genius. But I don't have social confidence because I'm a spacey ADD brain fog guy. I should have narrowed in on social / interpersonal confidence for this post. I think women tend to select for that more than men do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 05:46 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"That's how I feel too, that's what I look for! Confidence as an important trait makes me feel objectified. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 05:39 AM |
| 2 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"You're commenting a lot and I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you but I am a bit fatigued from the convo. I'll have to think about the points you've made and try and come back with a clearer head, thanks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 05:33 AM |
| 2 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"I think you’re making a good point and it’s getting me to see something. I probably should have focused more specifically on interpersonal / social confidence rather than treating confidence as a broad trait. I do think there’s a strong connotation in dating contexts where “confidence” refers less to general competence and more to how someone handles social uncertainty. How someone handles judgment, or rejection, or initiating action. If I had to do this post over I'd be more clear about that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 05:17 AM |
| 2 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"No, I definitely want utility, I just don't become more attracted with the more utility I get. My best friend gives me utility. He gives me great conversations. I get utility from connecting with someone who shares my empathy and humor and interests. But, I wouldn't like my best friend more if he did me a bunch of favors or gave me an allowance every week. That's more utility, but not more love. For me. I'd also get utility from the way my significant other looks, just like they'd be getting uti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 04:54 AM |
| 2 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Confidence is context dependent. I'm confident in my ability to write poems. I wouldn't be very confident if I joined a baseball team. So if you ask me whether I'm confident it's not a yes or no, it's an.... it's complicated. What we typically think of when we think of confidence is perceived self-trust under uncertainty. And in social and dating contexts, confidence is often used to refer to perceived self-trust in interpersonal situations.... how someone handles uncertainty, judgment, and soci… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 04:45 AM |
| 2 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"You don't believe someone can be more confident than another person? Confidence is a spectrum. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 04:24 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"This is a great point, I think you might be entirely right. Confidence is an indicator of competence and competence is what women are really after. Competence is like a series of presents, or utilities. With every box you open you get: More entertainment. More excitement. More fun. More ease. Better life. That's why these things make me feel... objectified. When I think of loving someone I don't think of who's going to give me the most utility, I think of someone who's similar to myself who's go… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 04:22 AM |
| 6 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"thank you for your very measured response where you looked at the data and made a sober assessment. i apologize if i'm imprecise, and off the cuff, and wording things in a way that is unfair to women. i apologize to the women here, not just you. the truth of the matter is that i'm not appealing to data when presenting this idea, i'm appealing to my gut, based on patterns i've observed in what i've seen both sexes say. and i could be wrong. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 04:12 AM |
| -2 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Let me clear up the linguistic distinction I'm making. Normal refers to "a normal level of confidence". So, still some confidence, but not an exceptional level of confidence. When you ask a woman what she's looking for and she says "a confident man" she's not looking for some baseline requirement, she's looking for someone especially confident. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 04:07 AM |
| 0 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"You're right. And they're attracted to confidence and competence because it's seen as masculine, and there's a biological component to women's attraction there. But what persists is that women typically desire a man more confident than they are. Even if they are already confident. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 03:44 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Ok, you see the difference, there we go! Women try and act like when they say they want confidence they mean "not being an annoying whiny little bitch" when we know that's not the case. I don't know if it's an entirely rational emotional response but I feel.... objectified by women's desire for confidence. I don't know if the word fits but it's the way it makes me feel haha. I could see that being the case for you, hope it works out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 03:39 AM |
| 0 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"There's a difference between a man with a normal degree of confidence and a "confident man". Is your husband the former or the latter, and is he more confident than you? These are the questions I'm getting at in my post. Whatever your response, I'll believe you in good faith. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 03:30 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"So just like.... a normal level of confidence? As opposed to a "confident man". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 03:23 AM |
| 6 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"It's pretty well established that women score higher in neuroticism: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2011.00178/full It's just the way it is, that doesn't mean we shouldn't have empathy for women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 03:18 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"I don't find confidence attractive. What's unattractive about someone that is not confident is that they'd be a huge burden on me. I'd probably have to reassure them about things and be worried about triggering their ego. I think there's something that exists between these two options and that's just.... being normal. We can define it as "a normal level of confidence" but if someone says, "I want a partner who is confident" they're not referring to someone who has a normal level of confidence, o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 03:14 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Doing your thing takes courage. You're downplaying it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 03:00 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"You lack a belief in self. But a trait isn't always reducible to the absence of its opposite. Being attracted to confidence is not necessarily the same thing as being repelled by insecurity. If someone tells me they're looking for someone funny I'm not going to assume they mean someone "not unfunny" because there's a huge middle in between these two ends. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:58 AM |
| -1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"If someone asks, "what is light?" and someone responds, "the absence of darkness" that doesn't really describe what light is, just what it isn't. A physicist would describe the positive qualities of light. Photons, wavelengths, electromagnetic radiation.... There's a middle between confident and insecure that's just... normal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:48 AM |
| -1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Insecurity is a lack of confidence but confidence is not just a lack of insecurity. If I ask someone, "what is sound?" and they answer, "the absence of silence" I've technically distinguished it from silence, but I haven't told you what sound actually is. I haven't said anything about vibrations, pitch, volume, rhythm, speech, music.... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:44 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Okay, maybe you're an exception. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:38 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Okay, pretend I never said "light up a room". Charisma is often a byproduct of confidence. Would you say that what you've described falls in line with what we colloquially refer to as "having balls?" It takes balls to be able to ask someone out in this way. It's bucking the norm. That's why most women don't want the burden of having to ask someone out. That's why most men don't. Most people aren't confident. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:36 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"based | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:32 AM |
| 0 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"struck a nerve, perhaps | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:31 AM |
| 3 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Childish response. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:29 AM |
| -3 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"You're the one playing word games. Confidence isn't the absence of something, it's the presence of something. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:29 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"No offense, but I don't feel like you really contributed much to the conversation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:27 AM |
| 0 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"And confidence isn't just "not being a doormat". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:26 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"I'm speaking in generalities. I think it's a big motivator for why they desire confident men. I'm also sure it's fueled by biology. But, fair enough. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:18 AM |
| 0 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Did you miss the title, and the main point of the post, where I said it's a fallacy to say confidence is simply "not being insecure?" You're defining a positive trait by the absence of a negative one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:16 AM |
| -1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Okay, so, going with your definition, I stand by my point. A lot of women gravitate toward men who radiate a belief in self, because it's something they lack. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:11 AM |
| 3 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"This is a cop out response. "Everyone is different" is a cop out. You don't have a guess on whether the average person is confident or not? When women say they want a confident man, they're not referring to someone they're confident with. Now you're just describing compatibility. You've shifted to that to get out of the question I posed. I never referred to bravado type confidence. Just "I know what I'm about" confidence. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:07 AM |
| -2 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"You're doing the thing. So, now being confident is "not being a doormat". You're defining a positive thing by the absence of a negative thing. So.... another way to word this is, confidence is someone who has BALLS. Something women tend to lack, and thus disproportionately desire. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:01 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Was it because I said "light up a room?" Can you provide your definition of confidence, I might have misspoke. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 01:58 AM |
| 0 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"I don't think I buy that. The men who would benefit from a woman more virtuous or moral don't value those traits as much as others. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 01:56 AM |
| 1 | Women are so attracted to confidence because they're looking for someone to compensate for their own lack of confidence. When you point this out, women will change the meaning of confidence to, "Someone who's not insecure, something we should all want!"Do you think most people are confident? Or, is it a trait you're exceptional in? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 01:53 AM |
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