TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Flathatter45 Archive

View 22 posts and 329 comments by Flathatter45 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
47

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/17 05:52 PM
30

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 12:54 AM
23

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/16 03:10 PM
23

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/16 06:55 PM
22

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/16 03:07 AM
19

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:28 PM
16

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/15 04:50 PM
9

Flathatter45/r/askMRP18/04/16 06:59 PM
8

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 04:44 PM
6

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/16 10:12 PM
6

Flathatter45/r/ThankTRP04/09/15 07:31 PM
5

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 08:13 PM
4

Blue Pill Brigading-Voting skewedFlathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/16 10:04 PM
3

Flathatter45/r/askMRP25/09/15 08:44 PM
2

Flathatter45/r/askMRP17/03/16 02:56 AM
1

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/15 06:27 PM
0

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/15 02:04 AM
0

Basic QuestionFlathatter45/r/askMRP18/08/15 07:10 PM
0

BrigadedFlathatter45/r/askMRP23/10/15 06:42 PM
0

Blue Pill Brigading-Voting skewedFlathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/15 09:03 PM
0

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/15 10:03 PM
0

Flathatter45/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/15 05:38 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Yes. And more money is not the answer, because if you give her free reign, as your salary increases modestly, her spending will increase exponentially. Its an ironclad law.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 02:48 AM
1

By ordering her to stop you are showing dominance Yes. But its more than just dominance. Sometimes, its a public service. I did this recently when wife started to erupt into an ugly shitstorm, directed at kids. I told her to stop. She did, and then redirected her bile towards me, while being decent towards the kids.. Thats..not ok, but its the better of two options.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/18 01:15 AM
1

Time is valuable. Your bitchy wife deserves none of it. This. It took me a while to internalize this.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/18 12:41 AM
5

How did Christ love His Church? By leading her to Holiness. Start there. How did He do that. He sacrificed His life for Her, He instructed, He scolded, He corrected, He showed compassion and mercy. All of the above.
/r/RPChristians15/02/18 02:38 AM
1

if that happened to me I’d rise to occasion. In a crisis situation, people don't rise to the occasion. They default to the level of their training.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/17 07:38 PM
3

No, you didn't handle it right, but you already know that. I say that because I have fallen into that trap so many times before. In fact, your scenario sounds so eerily familiar, I am ready to accuse you of having bugged my house. All I can tell you, as a guy who has been married a few years more than you is, you cannot win here. When she starts with that "all you care about is sex, I'm just a hole..!" crapola, at that point you know she has passed the point where she can have a rational, fruitf…
/r/RPChristians20/08/17 08:48 PM
2

Knowing how to say "no" the right way is a critical skill. Back when I was a new teacher, I had a problem of six or more teen age kids asking to use the bathroom every ten minutes. It was disruptive and annoying, and these are not preschoolers FTLOG. Of course the clueless drone of a principal told me there is nothing you can do, its a civil right. So, when they started asking to use the bathroom, I never said no, I always said yes. "Yes..as soon as you finish this lesson" or "Yes, after we go o…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/17 01:12 AM
2

It happens. In certain strains of conservative Catholicism, men are strongly encouraged, and sometimes shamed, into casting themselves in the chivalric role of the knight in shining armor, swooping in to "rescue" a damsel in distress or soiled dove. The most likely scenario is that there is not much you can do, except let your friend take his lumps and learn his lesson the hard way, which he seems intent on doing. At a certain age, i was much the same. No one could tell me a damn thing about wom…
/r/RPChristians05/08/17 08:23 PM
6

If he is serving her snacks because he is afraid not to, then yes he is a faggot. If he is doing it just because he wants to out of the goodness of his heart, or because he appreciates his wife, whats the problem??
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/17 01:46 PM
3

I'd say you came out ahead, and you clearly have strong frame and your wife still has at least one foot in Realsville. Those are all good things. OTOH, when you say to your SO, "That dress looks good on you." And she responds "You think women are only good for one thing, and are so shallow because you judge only appearances!", then you've got your work cut out for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/17 01:40 PM
3

Scripture tells us to "pray without ceasing"(1 Thess 5: 17) and that "..our wrestling is not against flesh and blood; but against principalities and power, against the rulers of the world of this darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in the high places." (Eph 6:12 ) Catholics and Orthodox: a husband has the authority to bless his wife and children by tracing a sign of the cross on their foreheads at any time. Keep holy water in your house and sprinkle it liberally, and daily. Adorn your ho…
/r/RPChristians02/08/17 12:18 AM
1

Excellent discussion. Always good to relate Jesus' teaching here back to the 9th commandmant "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife.". Coveting, i was taught in grade school catechism, is the inordinate desire to possess someone or something that does not rightly belong to you. In Catholic tradition, we are taught to safeguard our eyes, lest they become an occasion of sin. Some have taken this to mean that a man should avert his eyes from every woman not his wife, under pain of hellfire. Rubbi…
/r/RPChristians30/07/17 09:24 PM
3

Its worth noting that the Church per se never executed or imprisoned anyone. Those guilty of heresy were turned over to teh secular authorities for punishment. In fact, most heretics were let off with a scolding. Very few were actually executed. The Church always urged mercy.
/r/RPChristians18/07/17 06:41 PM
4

I'm going to remove us from the church we grew up in (which is very important to her and her parents) but that'll be another field report. Changing churches/ parishes is a lot like changing your doctor. If you think your doctor is not competetant, you find another. But you wouldn't give up on medicine altogether. Some churches/ parishes/ clergy are toxic, and you need to jettison them.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/17 03:54 PM
4

The church, for the first century or two, was predominantly a lay-run thing. No, not really. As early as the Acts of the Apostles, we see in the Counccil of Jerusalem, led by Peter, the apostles and their successors making decisions that were considered binding on the whole church, including St. Paul. Historical documents such as the letters of St. Justin and St. Polycarp from the 1st and 2nd century A.D. clearly show a hierarchy of priests and bishops. Having said that, you are correct that sem…
/r/RPChristians17/07/17 07:59 PM
3

The benefits of getting fit again are more than I would have believed. The constant temptation of cheap, fattening food combined with a sedentary lifestyle is something the apostles and Church fathers did not have to contend with.
/r/RPChristians17/07/17 07:02 PM
2

Looking forward to this sub. Its long overdue.
/r/RPChristians17/07/17 06:33 PM
3

"Sin is strong indeed." That could end up being the epitaph for the modern age. When people are rewarded with cash, prizes and affirmation from the government and society for blowing up families to pursue their own selfish interests, it makes me wonder if any man is strong enough to stand against it. Its a sign of God's grace that any marriages survive at all. When women are subjected to the neverending siren song of personal fulfillment, it sometimes seems like trying to hold back the tide with…
/r/RPChristians17/07/17 05:48 PM
1

Yes, this is something about MRP that was always a wonder to me: the obsession with some over anal. The very idea is repulsive to me, always has been, but for some guys its the gold standard of marital relations. Most passing strange.
/r/RPChristians16/07/17 10:03 PM
2

We Catholics know about the Song of Solomon, rest assured.
/r/RPChristians16/07/17 10:00 PM
4

Appreciate the orthodox persepctive. I am a Latin mass Catholic, so a lot of what you say resonates. I would say as a husband, yes to self sacrifice but no to putting her on a pedastal. Holiness through divesting oneself of ego: of course, but putting aside ones ego is also central to RP. A father on Earth is called to be an icon of Our Father in Heaven, to the extent we can. Thus, we teach, we guide, we pray, we punish, we reward, we with hold favor. We balance justice and mercy. None of that g…
/r/RPChristians16/07/17 09:52 PM
1

A husband and father should be willing to make sacrifices, but for HIS cause and HIS priorities. My priority is the health, safety and well being of my family. Sometimes that means saying no. Sacrifice, yes, but that does not mean we have to work ourselves to early graves just so others can enjoy frivolous luxuries and big houses with a lot of wasted space.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/17 02:10 AM
8

Learning to trust my instincts and stop being a people pleaser has been a big hurtle for me. Making progress, though.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/17 02:01 AM
5

The absence of resentment and hate will feel like love to her. This.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/17 01:58 AM
3

I came here wanting to master my wife. Ironically enough, thats what uninformed people think MRP is all about: reducing one's wife to servitude. In fact its the opposite. Self mastery, and a general improvement of one's condition in which the wife is invited to come along. I don't demand sex or anything else. I don't ask either. I state my expectation. What happens next is up to her.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/17 12:39 AM
1

called her on the carpet and made her feel bad. That's the one sin that cannot be forgiven in this life or the next. Thou shalt not truth tell to ones wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/17 12:13 AM
1

Would Ghengis Khan jerk off? That one deserves a billboard.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/17 11:45 PM
2

There is the practical side. If you're having women trouble, don't sleep with another woman. Then you'll have double trouble. Most moral laws have a practical purpose that isn't always apparent.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/17 02:27 AM
4

There but for the grace of God go ...
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/17 01:31 AM
8

I see your point. You have to put your oxygen mask on before you can help anyone else. A man should not enjoy luxuries while his kids go without necessities, but neither should he set himself on fire just to give them light to read by. SOmetimes its hard to strike a balance because in this day and age, any time a man allocates time or resources to himself, he is often castigated as being selfish and immature.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/17 05:22 PM
7

So then, what is a man's duty to the children he fathers?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/17 04:55 PM
10

Selection bias. We know about the divorces, and we know about happy, successful marriages. But the marriages where one or both parties "fell out of love", but kept things functional and mostly civil for the sake of the kids, you never hear about these because the drama, such as there is, usually ends at the driveway. If you decide to put your kids well being ahead of your desire for a fulfilling relationship, that's a viable choice. Just weigh all the factors and know what you're getting into is…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/17 04:47 PM
1

Rationality is overrated. The most coldly rational people in the 20th century were the same people who burned down churches, shot the priests, built the gulags and the death camps, and made sure they were run efficiently.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/17 12:30 AM
3

it's ok to want sex That right there is a big step for many Christian men. Sad to say, but some strains of Christianity shame a man for even wanting sex with his own wife. Don't pester your wife for sex, don't look at porn, don't smile at cashiers.. don't, don't, don't! No wonder some of the poor bastards go mad.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/17 03:09 AM
2

I have never seen an inherent conflict between redpill and Christianity. Its just that after 40 years or more of feminized, watered down churchianity, it may seem that way. That said, I would never try to redknight some of my co-religionsits, because the chasm is just too wide in some cases and they are just not ready to see that the world is round, not flat. Only guys in the last extreme will even consider it. Guys like us here.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/17 02:30 AM
–

Lets just say things are a lot better than they were. The budget is under control. She now has a PT job and control of her own money. Kids rooms are no longer "no go " zones. I have weekly inspections. We have been on a chore chart for over a year now. Everyone knows what his job is. So, things in my hh are a lot better.. except, she is not on board yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 07:31 PM
1

How did you handle it?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 07:24 PM
–

She does have input tho. That's the thing. In some areas, she is the acknowledged expert, and I will not make a decision until I consult her first. Money and computers are not her areas of expertise. She asked me to help, and I was. This shitstorm came out of the blue, literally.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 07:19 PM
3

No, I don't think so. I made no demands and had no expectations other than I was going to have a good time. I took a chance inviting her, because sometimes she is "low energy", but she gave every indication of having a good time and so did I. No sex that night because she is ovulating this weekend and she is off the pill.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 07:02 PM
3

We all have different strengths and weaknesses. She cannot handle money and is computer illiterate, so I handle those things.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 06:53 PM
1

Neither. Start with the free columns on his website, then order a book if you think you need one.
/r/askMRP10/02/17 03:27 PM
–

All of the behaviors you are describing are normal behaviors for kids. Mind, I did not say acceptable, but normal. They can be dealt with without having to resort to drugs or therapy. She is keeping her grades up? Not getting into trouble with the law? No destructive behaviors like drugs, cutting, etc? Then relax. When my daughters forget to do a chore, I will wake them up out of a sound sleep if necessary and make them do them. I don't mind a little sass, but if I get dis-repsect, they lose a p…
/r/askMRP09/02/17 07:02 PM
1

Good on ya. Now keep going. I've been at this a little longer than you. I have also found that many things that used to interest me and occupy my time, such as web surfing, PC games and watching sports no longer interest me. This is true of people too. As I change, people I used to think highly of or were intimidated by, now they are not so much of a much.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/17 05:19 PM
1

At the time, the super duper soft- crunchy taco in front of me had my full attention.. but thanks for the tip.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/17 01:08 AM
2

True enough. Why do some people resort to robbery instead of working and trading? Because its easier and it often gets them what they want. If we raise the cost of manipulation to an intolerably high level, that leaves cooperation as the only default choice.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/17 09:30 PM
3

Has this been communicated only through words and actions.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/17 09:25 PM
2

Around the house, do you ever ask your wife to bring you a beer, or make you a sandwich, or cop a feel on her and tell she is a pretty nice piece? if yes, then don't refrain from doing this and other male dominant things when your MIL is around. She does not outrank you, Captain. Your MIl is in charge of her house? Good for her. When visiting with them. pour on the charm. Act a little roguish, tell a risque joke, cop a feel on your wife in front of MIL, have some fun with it. We are friends thro…
/r/askMRP07/02/17 08:52 PM
–

Easy as pie. If her attitude had been less shitty, more flirty, I probably would have. But my time has value, and an hour of peace and quiet is hard currency for a family man.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/17 07:54 PM
–

I suppose, but thats an awful lot of talking for such a small matter. I spent so much of my past life emoting, I'm entitled to a few shrugs and grunts when I feel like it.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/17 07:37 PM
–

I'm not likely to forget that. I've seen her communicate directly often. She can do it if she makes the effort. And the more she does it the easier ti will get.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/17 07:35 PM
3

I like her when she is sweet and submissive. When she is bratty I find that amusing. Extended bitchfests or silent treatment are met with a shrug and indifference and me doing other things.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/17 07:31 PM
–

Its not hard at all. I could have done that, but I decided not to. I don't care that women speak differently. I can't do anything about that. What I care about is that I require direct communication and respect. its my standard. You do you.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/17 06:20 PM
3

Nope, wasn't angry at all. But maybe a little too introspective, and not enough fun loving. You've got a point there.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/17 06:16 PM
1

BB, your tone and content are frank and pragmatic. I appreciate it because a forum made up of yes-men is useless. I agree with most of it and sympathize with all of it. if she does not fuck you, and you are in decent shape, then she deserves to get cheated on True enough.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/17 03:09 PM
2

Yes it affects you like a rainy day afects you. You can stay indoors or wear a raincoat. If you really get tired of the rain, you can move to Arizona. But you can't stop the rain.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/17 08:59 PM
2

Outstanding! Crisis management 101. I take the same approach more or less since I unplugged. Deciding what burdens/ information to share with her, and which to handle unilaterally, is a matter that requires careful thought. If bad news cannot be avoided though, better it come through you. Then you can decide on time and place, standing by with fire extinguisher, ready to pick up the pieces if necessary.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/17 08:56 PM
2

Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer character, "The Girl Hunters " imparticular, is also instructive if you like this genre. Hammer is a little less smooth, more hard edged than Spade.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/17 04:15 PM
–

I am travelling on business next week. Going to do this.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/17 10:11 PM
2

You're really hitting it in every other aspect of your life, yet you've tolerated a running sore (shitty marriage) at the core of your life for 20 years.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/17 09:57 PM
1

The moral disapproval surrounding adultery is a very real issue that any man will be confronted with, if his cheating should come to light. Are you ready to handle the moral disapproval.. or even disgust, of your boss, your friends, your customers, ..your kids?? Needs to be considered.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/17 03:58 AM
2

men overestimate the value they provide to their families I don't think so. If fathers aren't important, as a male presence, as a symbol and exercise of authority, as a biological means of delaying sexual maturity in their daughters by a year and half (proven fact), as a rational counter-balance to female craziness, and a whole host of other things then the whole purpose of the nuclear family is rendered at once meaningless.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/17 03:47 AM
4

Run. Don't walk. Run. These guys are giving you good advice. FTLOG, take it. She WILL get worse. Do want to spend your life as a caregiver for an obese, embittered woman whose health problems will get progressively worse? Do you want to be saddled with massive medical bills that she will inevitably incur? Trust your instincts, man. Follow the advice you know is correct. Leave her now. Six months from now, I guarantee you will be wondering why you hesitated.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/16 11:58 PM
1

Only the present and future matters. Yup. That's women all the way. And if you are stupid enough to mention something really nice you did for her in the past, like a ring, a car or a nice vacation, what you will get back is "I didn't ask you for xyz.", delivered in a very diffident and offended tone.. (how dare you make her feel like shit for being ungrateful??). I was too long learning this, but learn it I did.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/16 11:53 PM
1

She is bitter, and frustrated because she has made me responsible for her happiness for many years, and for the past year and a half I have said no, with my actions. I am not responsible for your unhappiness. On this I have held firm, but another poster pointed out that I need to do more than just hold firm. I need to lighten up and have more fun, and invite her along.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 03:52 PM
1

Ok , I can see what you're saying. In another context, I think your way of responding would be more appropriate.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 03:49 PM
1

I don't know anything about that. I'm guessing he now thinks he is a man.. tougher, smarter and better than his old man. Well, thats a conceit of the young. i was the same way more or less, when I was 20. But I learned. Oh boy did I learn! And he will too after he goes his own way, refuses to listen to good advice, and fucks up. Its part of life.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/16 11:17 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 10:44 PM
0

Well, today he was very respectful and deferential towards me. Tomorrow he will be mouthing off to his mother and complaining about what a nag she is. Thats business as usual with him. As long as he does not go over the line, its all good. Part of growing up, which he still has a lot more to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 10:43 PM
1

Well, I would hardly call what I did "chest pounding". I gave him good advice because he needed it.. not just for the here and now, but I do not want him to become a white knight.. standing up for chicks in public, etc. That will bring him nothing but misery down the road.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 10:42 PM
3

Good advice. Thanks. I do tend to be a little on the stern side. I need to lighten up a little more.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 10:37 PM
0

I don't see my son as a rival. He is just testing boundaries, feeling his oats, like any young man who finsihed basic with high marks. He is now the expert on every subject at the supper table, from Apple orchards to zebras. We all find this amusing. Sometimes I need to remind him who is boss, that's all. Not very often. He is a smart kid, mostly.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 10:36 PM
2

He's been dead a long while, but while he was alive we mostly got on ok. Sometimes we butted heads. He was old school, but mostly an easy going guy. A charmer, and a hard worker.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 10:33 PM
0

No, you cannot negotiate or use strongarm, I agree. But there is only room for one alpha male lion in this pride. Son needed to be reminded of that. How do you mean , don't show your hand? And if I did any less talking, I'd be a Caputian monk.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 01:39 AM
1

Thanks. This was just what I needed to be reminded of today.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 07:52 PM
1

Yes it can, but Christians do not subscribe to the "doing right for rights sake" philosophy. That's atheistic altruism, a different animal entirely. Christian sacrifice is embedded in love, and doing ones duty. A man takes a wife of his own free will, and agrees to the duties and obligations thereof. NMMNG encourages men, albeit implicitly, to stand firm and do their duty by drawing boundaries and reigning in their wives excesses. He must endure her shitstorms, rants, denial of sex, accusations …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/16 04:41 PM
6

Religion and red pill are incompatible? That's news to me. Some of the best posters here have been Christians. And yes, sacrifice can be red pill, so long as it's given freely. As has been said many times, red pill is a praexology, not a religion or an ideology. Therefore there is no incompatibility.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/16 02:02 PM
2

Thanks for this post. For years I was a beta bitch, and for years I believed what feminized Christianity taught.. that it was my job to put my wife on a pedastal, and if for any reason she was not happy with her life, it was my fault..I had failed as a husband and a man. Discarding that mindset, and all the behaviors and dispositions that go with it, has been one of the most difficult things for me in the past year. I lived in fear that she would tell our friends, my family, that she was unhappy…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/16 02:58 AM
1

Well, maybe so. Maybe my standards are too low, and I need to think about that some.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/16 12:26 AM
2

One of these days you are going to slap somebody around and they are going to pull out a knife or a gun.. or wife is going to snap and stab you in your sleep.. and with your history of domestic abuse and anger issues, no jury in the land will convict her. The fuse is lit, this WILL blow up in your face, its only a question of when. Get out and get professional help, yesterday. Its the only course left at this point that might redeem you.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/16 07:50 PM
1

Get busy living or get busy dying.. my wife is in the perimenopausal thing too, although how much this has to do with a womans attitude, I am not so sure. Opinions vary. Re: anniversary. I too stressed over this after I unplugged. Now, I don't bother with cards or even flowers much anymore . Pick something you like to do, something fun that will stimulate you.. and invite her along. if she says yes, great. if she says no, just go by yourself and have an awesome time. Either way, it will pay divi…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/16 02:13 PM
1

I never said adultery was trivial. I was juxtaposing that some marriages do survive affairs, whilst others are so weak because the parties are so immature that they collapse at the first sign of financial or emotional stress. If you would bother to read my post instead of reacting like an hysterical bitch, you would have seen this. The passage in the NT about divorce, says "unless the marriage be unlawful" in the New American version. Personally, I would not take her back, but thats his decision…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/16 08:38 PM
-2

As Christians we are obligated to forgive. But whether or not you trust again, thats a judgement call only you can make. Some marriages can survive an afffair. Other marriages breakup for seemingly trivial reasons. A betrayal like this is dangerous, because even though you could forgive her, will she ever forgive herself? Will the guilt she cannot bear drive her to even more destructive behavior? Ask yourself: am I taking her back because its the prudent thing to do, or are you trying to safegua…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/16 02:53 AM
1

Many women spend most of their lives on a diet. Many women make a show of saying they are on a diet.. and so they are for 2 - 3 weeks. by the 4th week you find bk wrappers and frappachino cups in her car. Some women have the discipline to stay fit, but a lot more dont. Obesity is a problem for both sexes, but moreso for women.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/16 09:24 PM
1

Sounds like you are starting off good, doing all the right things. Like enfier said, you aren't going to fix this, or even see significant change in a couple of months, no way no how. Give yourself time, pursue excellence. One thing I'll emphasize from personal experience, NEVER stop lifting. In the past year and few months, the one thing that has kept me focused and anchored is the visible and concrete results I have gotten from working out, particularly lifting. It diffuses anger, it burns off…
/r/askMRP06/10/16 07:21 PM
1

Again, I cannot argue with you. This is Redpill on steroids, choosing between a shipwreck on the sharp rocks with at least a chance of surviving, or doing nothing, gambling that the slow leak won't sink you in the middle of the ocean with no chance at all.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/16 04:46 PM
1

After 20 plus years and several kids... Maybe. but I doubt I would pursue it because I cannot see myself getting married again if this ends in divorce. There's just no percentage in it, as far as I can see.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/16 04:42 PM
1

Ok. That makes sense. Her behavior does seem to be building up towards something. Would you suggest I start gaming her again now, and keep it up even if stays bitchy and cold? When the main event comes, I figure she will either melt into my arms or walk out for good. It's one role double or nothing. Do I have this figured right?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/16 04:17 PM
1

I hear ya. Message received.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/16 04:04 PM
1

Ok you've got a point. Nobody forced me to post here, and I did ask for you opinions.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/16 03:49 PM
1

What makes you think God wants you to be happy? Maybe He wants us to love, and to be loved. But that doesn't always bring happiness. And I know you're not a believer, and most of the time you make good sense anyway, but that zombie crack was uncalled for.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/16 01:49 AM
1

That's rhetorical nonsense. The church didnt hold a gun to my head when I put a ring on her finger. The church did not turn her into a cranky uptight yell machine. But the church did give me money and food when I was out of work. And if you believe in "destiny", how is that not a religious belief? Give me a fucking break.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/16 01:21 AM
1

Precisely how redpill is it to blame "religion" for your marriage failing..instead of blaming the bride and groom?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/16 01:16 AM
1

Good question. Religion aside, there is my personal code of honor. I did say "till death do us part" . I guess I still have this moral squint about keeping my word. I don't want to look at myself and see a liar.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 07:31 PM
-1

I don't blame you a bit. There is no shortage of weakling feminist bed wetters passing themselves off as priests and ministers. But just because there is a lot of counterfeit money in circulation doesn't mean the real money is no good.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 07:27 PM
1

About 2 years now
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 06:58 PM
0

Your cynicism is breathtaking. I understand it, but in this case I cannot blame my church. In fact, she is if anything backing away from church because our clerics are all anti feminists and not chicks erratics at all. She stopped going to confession and communion almost a year now.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 06:57 PM
1

Yes I had considered this as an option.. Considering I should say. Only chance I can see getting full custody is if the cops haul her out of my house in handcuffs on a charge of domestic abuse or assault. Other than that, the way the courts are now...... Either way. I!ll have to be clever as a fox and ruthless as a wolf to make it through with me and my family intact.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 06:35 PM
1

And when is the last time anyone heard a sermon about gluttony. Good point, though. No, she is even backing away from religion. Skips church more and more often, has not been to communion in almost a year.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 06:32 PM
1

There is no way I am leaving my kids.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 01:40 PM
1

Anything is possible, but no. I've been more discreet with this than I would with a porn site. I am morally certain she does not know.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 12:26 AM
1

I give her enocuragement, kino, I take her out and do fun little things with her. I'll help her with her housework, masage her shoulders, etc. If she has a really good week I would take her out for dinner. But lately there has been nothing she has done that even merits a cup of coffee. She is like a black hole.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 12:22 AM
1

Well, sometimes her behavior is so shitty and her attitude so negative, I just cannot stand to be around her. She is an energy drainer. So no I do not hate her but sometimes I've just had my fill and I gotta back away.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/16 12:20 AM
4

Lots of school age kids and deeply held relgious scruples is what it boils down to. If she is having a mid life crack up then cutting her loose is a cheap thing to do, except as a last resort. That's my perspective, and I know most probably don't share it.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 07:40 PM
0

No I have not be because " Acta non verba" has been my motto since unplugging. I have avoided "the big talks" religiously because they never accomplished a thing... Ever, and they left me feeling drained and poisoned and sleep deprived. But she knows my expectations. Whenever she is pissed at me she hurls them at me as an accusation. "You just want a wife who is thin, and pleasant, and greets you every day with a smile and high heels and has sex every night!!" To which I respond very calmly "abs…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 07:38 PM
1

Explain.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 07:31 PM
3

good question. I tried gaming her for months, and got nowhere. Tried to horn it out of her, no change. As her bitchiness and shitty behavior increased, I withdrew time and attention.. Not to punish her, but because I have better things to do with my time then hang with a chick who is cold, frumpy and dumpy. Yes I know Redpill is not a marriage fixit course. It's about self improvement. My new vibe and new attitude is yielding positive results, with work, kids, and every other arena. She is diggi…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 07:24 PM
4

The sex argument you basically said you'd be ok being cucked as long as you could watch Well, that was a smart ass reply on my part. She was trying to horrify and enrage and hurt me with that comment, and I wanted to show her that I don't take her shit seriously. But you,re spot on with the value question. I have to seriously think about that. If her behavior continues to degenerate, she will probably file for divorce within a year, because I am increasingly enforcing reasonable boundaries that …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 05:53 PM
8

Yes on the fat. She works a pt job but also spens waaaay too much time scrolling and sitting, and complaining our house is a "dump". What value does she add? At the moment, not very much.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 05:22 PM
3

Three months in. So, using the formula of one month for every year as a beta bitch, how long are you giving yourself?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/16 01:52 AM
1

Been there, done that. Oh boy, have I ever.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/16 11:56 PM
5

This is a new world for me, so I appreciate your insight. And you're right, there is no need to wait a year. I need to keep the forward momentum
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/16 04:39 PM
2

Thanks for the tips. BTW, I did not train a year for this race. I signed up 2 months ago. I have been lifting for a year, but I slacked on endurance training, no question.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/16 04:02 PM
1

When I first read this post, I thought "Damn, thats a problem I wish I had". But then I got thoughtful. If the pod people brought back the gal I married, and took back the scroll zombie couch potato currently living with me.. what WOULD I do? I guess I would be so poleaxed, i wouldn't know whether to shit or go blind.. which is not a good place to be. So.. thanks for making me look ahead to what could be next.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/16 05:17 PM
2

I'm going to go floss my teeth. That made me spit out my water. Lol!
/r/askMRP18/07/16 07:59 PM
5

Lifting is the anchor, the cornerstone. In moments of failure, self doubt, stress.. Am I doing the right thing? Is this Redpill shit for real or am I fooling myself? Maybe she is right and I am a controlling asshole? When these thoughts fill my head in low moments, a look in the mirror gets me back in touch with what's real. The results you get from lifting are real and cannot be ignored or hamstered away. And once you get those new muscles, they keep paying dividends.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/16 02:29 PM
4

Damn..
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/16 08:41 PM
1

I just went on as if it never happened knowing her emotional memory would be short lived. Thanks for posting. That's an interesting phrase, emotional memory. If I shut off the fuel for her shit storm by just going on like it never happened, then in their feelz, it never did.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/16 06:39 PM
1

10/4
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/16 06:04 PM
1

Yes, you re right. If she says or does something that does not sit well with me, I need to either deal with it head on, or just laugh it off and forget about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/16 05:49 PM
3

You have a point. I need to add some colors to my paintbox. She is a hard person to have fun with. This too requires imagination and leadership on my part.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/16 05:45 PM
2

Good questions. I cannot really say. I would say she is not terribly attracted to me, because she is doing little or nothing to attract me.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/16 04:58 PM
1

If they are total shits, that means they are grumpy and pissy with everyone, which she is not. She walks small around her father. Well, goddam it she is gonna be walking small around me, or she is gonna be walking. No third option.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/16 03:58 PM
4

Thanks. I will not back down on the garage, rest assured. She would not do that to her father's tool shop, and I'll be damned if I will let her do it to mine.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/16 03:51 PM
3

"Let them clean it." Hmmmm. Not bad. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/16 08:59 PM
1

Step 2? You mean step 2 of dread?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/16 02:45 AM
1

Just remember, unconditional surrender means you are putting yourself completely at someone,s mercy. You are hoping they will, in victory, be generous, forgiving, kind, etc. From what you wrote about the missus, I kind of doubt she will be anything but vengeful and gloating in victory. Also, unconditional surrender is an option for a man to consider when the only other alternative is certain death. Therefore, I would strike that phrase from my thought pattern right away. You're not anywhere near…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 07:41 PM
1

Great post. I needed to be reminded of this.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 05:47 PM
1

Thanks. She has really been rocking my frame lately. The Silent Hate Treatment is now into its 2nd straight week, with no sign of abating. I'm not showing her anger, and I m doing my shit, and I have withdrawn attention and affection. I sure as hell don't feel like Trump right now.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 02:57 PM
4

Well the first two did... Which is why perhaps he kicked em to the curb.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:50 PM
3

Now THAT would have cut me to the quick.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:49 PM
3

That may be the end result. If I maintain frame, stand like an oak, and continue to enforce boundaries, she will eventually come to her senses, change her ways, or leave.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:49 PM
5

Copy that. You re right of course. I'll see what awaits me when I get home today and go on from there. I'm planning on taking kids to the library this evening anyway. If her attire and attitude is good,, I will invite her along and maybe buy her a treat. If not, she can stay home alone with her bitchiness. Her loss.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 04:20 PM
1

Not much, but there's is no way for me to find that out so I ,m not going waste any time on it. Her parents live on a farm, which is also her (pipe) dream. I ve told her in the past that I am Never moving our family to a farm. I like living in a small town just fine. i am pretty sure that is the reason for her bitchiness since returning, for what it's worth.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 04:16 PM
2

10/ 4
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:55 PM
2

No not a request for a debate, but I hear what you re saying . You're saying there is no deeper meaning here. Nothing to see, just a shit test with garnish. I hear ya.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:52 PM
12

Yeah that occurred to me... Five minutes after I left.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:50 PM
1

Yes, my situation almost exactly... Except my wife has improved only a little bit, and still has the idea Thats it's her right to be shitty to me whenever she wants, and if I were a good husband, I would understand. I suppose at some point, she will either change or the marriage will end. Something's gotta give at some point.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:13 PM
1

Bismark, I'm going through something very similar right now. I'm glad you posted this. The conversation it generated has some useful stuff in it. Wife and kids came back last week from a few days with my in laws. For some reason, she started giving me cold shoulder. Whatever. Then, on Sunday after church as we were getting into the car, i scolded one of my daughters for backtalking me.. didn't lose my shit or anything close to it, but raised my voice for emphasis.. well, a guy in the next car ov…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 01:55 AM
9

I'm surprised no one said it, but have you seriously considered nexting her? If I were in your place, I would give it serious thought. Ok, so you married crazy, but why have kids with crazy?? Nexting her after you have kids will be hell on earth. Yeah, a real man can handle hell on earth, but why put innocent kids through that when its not necessary? Doing it now, when she has her own career and money, relatively straightforward. Mind, I'm not saying you should next her, but I see some red flags…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/16 08:18 PM
1

Owning frame: I've really got a twist on not letting her moods throw me off track, and not getting dragged into "discussions", which end hours later with me totally in frame. Her shit test and silent hate treatments, have slowed to a trickle. She sees they are not working. Lifting: I am hitting the gym 3 times a week, doing strong lift 5 by 5, making steady gains. She has noticed, and the IOI i am getting from good looking gals are nice. I signed up for an obstacle course contest at the county f…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/16 04:09 PM
1

Welcome aboard. I am not that far behind you in age, so I understand where you are coming from. For me, early morning exercise really helped with the mood swings, the anger that sometimes swept over me. Intense workouts early in the a.m. helped work off a lot of the nervous energy that was feeding the depression and anger. I still get down , and angry , sometimes.. but its not nearly as bad.. and, reading the sidebar and other things having to do with stoicism have helped teach me to slow down, …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/16 06:57 PM
1

That's like asking a Chinaman to give up rice.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/16 12:58 AM
1

It's hard to construct a useful analogy for marriage, because there really is nothing else like marriage, but as Eischeid used to say "ya done good!" It's a good balance of the idealism of doing one's duty come hell or high water, and making the best of a bad situation, taking the rough with the smooth. Some of the men I admire from history such as Abe Lincoln and Robert e Lee had wives who were less than ideal.. Really a cross for them to bear. Mary Lee was infirm and had a terrible temper and …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/16 03:38 PM
4

The silent hate treatment is one of the most potent weapons in a woman's arsenal. Most men cannot stand it. The pressure and anxiety builds up until he breaks usually. It's like an army laying siege to a city. They can win without firing a shot. It's a dirty way to make war, but very effective. It happens to be one of my wife's favorite tactics. But you showed patience and frame in waiting her out, and that's big time. She only has power over you if you grant it to her. By showing her that her s…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 07:25 PM
1

Yes, but through an indirect approach. She is mule stubborn, often to her own misfortune. She must first submit to my leadership, which is slowly happening. Once she does that, getting her on a good diet and fitness plan will be simple enough. When she first sees its in her own best interest to do it. She is still, regrettably, stuck in the mindset of how unfair it is that men are attracted to hot women instead of land whales, and that is proof of how shallow and worthless we men are.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 07:09 PM
1

It was wide ranging. Started with sex. She had been putting out, but barely above starfish. Tolerable. I tried warming her up with some kisses and caresses, but she did not respond, so I just said "hell with it" and commenced to bang her like I used to when we were dating. No complaints back then and none this time, and she seemed to enjoy it a little. Then a few days later she complains how selfish I am, etc. This is a trope with her. I said "Honey, I am willing to meet you half way, but you've…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 02:18 PM
1

Just curious: what interests did you designate in meetup? I was thinking of trying that out myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/16 02:47 PM
4

"We need to talk" My wife pulled that one on me just a couple of weeks ago, at the supper table. her. We need to talk Me. Ok, go ahead. Her. Not in fron of the kids. After they are in bed. ( wtf.. Why even say that in from our kids??). I just shrugged and finished my pasta. As soon as dinner was done, and the kids were clearing the table, I pointed to her and said "if you want to talk, let's do it now. After the kids are in bed, I have work to do." Well, she didn't like that but complied. Best p…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 08:41 PM
1

You said this would work….I did it and it does! What else should I do?” Or they say they saw something you did and it pushed them to achieve more? That is…well…powerful. Admiration is an easy thing to generate, especially in women. Yes, it is food for a starving man, but I try to keep it in perspective.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 02:16 PM
1

interesting. This past Mother's Day came and went, and all my pastor said from the pulpit was "happy mothers day" and then went ahead with his homile, which was based on the scheduled reading. I'll see what happens on Father's Day. in the Catholic Church, the bible readings are not chosen by the priest, they are pre determined in the missal. Of course, the priest can blather on about anything he wants in the homile. My parish is better than most. Even so, a lot of the men of the parish pedastal …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 02:38 PM
5

Within the Christian community, is godliness and religion a major contributor to a man's SMV in the eyes of their wives? I think so. I would say not. It does make you more attractive as a husband for obvious reasons, but its not generally something that generates tingles. A pious, godly man is Mr Dependable, not Mr. Exciting. if you had been an atheist and she married you anyway, that would have been one thing. But leaving the church in the middle, and even renouncing God.. man, that's a deal br…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/16 02:50 AM
1

Ask yourself, if someone offered her a high six figure job with lots of perks, expense account, etc etc.. Her dream job let's say, on the condition that she get fit, down to a size 4, get a boob job, and wear fashionable clothes and high heels every day. Could she do it? Would she do it? If the answer is yes, then she doesn't need your help or guidance to clean up her act. If the answer is no, then no help you provide will make a difference.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/16 03:13 PM
1

I've noticed that too. The older bats I work with she thinks are cool. The young hotties who are sweet and pleasant and flirty, she thinks are hos, crazy, bitchy, etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/16 01:49 AM
4

I see it more as a prioritizing. Giving without strings attached, without any expectation of something in return, is the essence of true love, and is the way to avoid covert contracts. If she is behind the 8 ball in her housework because of unforeseen circumstances rather than her laziness, then I'll gladly help her out.. not in the expectation of sex, but because it needs doing. If I have to give up an hour of reading or Tv watching, then I guess that it is giving from abundance. My problem, (a…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/16 12:32 AM
12

This guy might be a Christian, but what he is peddling isn't. In fact, there is nothing in my bible to suggest that Christ or the apostles ever applied the word "Christian" as a description or qualifier for books, retail establishments, music, schools, etc etc. The term "Christian" can only apply to a person. All the rest is a slick marketing ploy, nothing more. Whats next? the Christian hot dog stand? The Christian all night dentist? Regarding the idea of a Christian husband sacrificing for his…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 02:54 AM
4

Bradbury is the best... Along with Heinlein and Niven and Pournelle, Sci fi and fantasy for men. Nice to find other men who still read him!
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 06:43 PM
1

No it sure isn,t easy, especially if you have spent the better part of your life being a weaksauce, victim puking gobbler like I have... But, it gets easier the more I do it. The best way to break a bad habit is to form a new one to take its place. Hitting the gym helps, by giving me a feeling of true accomplishment just by looking in the mirror, and returning the female smiles that are now headed my way.. But also by dissipating a lot of the nervous energy that would otherwise be the perfect dr…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/16 06:33 PM
3

Thanks. That discussion gave me something to think about.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/16 02:15 PM
2

Intersting perspective. Sure, I,d like her to have some of those qualities. Other than holding frame and pressing on with my own self improvement, can you suggest any specific strategies?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/16 01:53 PM
2

My wife is something like that. Not a career woman, but very rebellious with delusions of "in-de- PEND-ence". She recently told me defiantly that she cannot submit to me because of the kind of man I have become. (I unplugged a year ago.) Nevertheless, she no longer controls me, and her domain in our household has been systematically shrinking as she is back to work part time, and I've progressively taken control or oversight of more things (grocery shopping, budget, menu, internet controls, kids…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/16 12:56 AM
2

Great post. Everything is dependent upon the lifting. A year ago, i would not have believed it, but its true. For me, MRP was a counsel of desperation. It was largely a leap of faith, because everything else I had tried failed. MRP has changed my life, and I will thank God for it every day.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 02:08 AM
1

Sometimes, reading these posts, the similarities to my own situ are eerie. I'm in the same place, bro, except I have been unplugging for almost a year. Wife alternates between shit test volley fire for 2-3 days, outright disrespect, then silent hate for 2 weeks. Sometimes, the temptation to blow my stack at her is overwhelming. But each time I hold frame, it gets easier for me, and harder for her.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/16 01:16 AM
2

Suicide is the ultimate lack of accountability, the total abdication of responsibility. I'll admit, in my worst bluepill moments, when i was unemployed, it crossed my mind. But I dismissed it immediately. Would my kids be better off without me. How long would the money from my life insurance last? What was I fucking thinking?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/16 09:13 PM
2

As opposed to methodist guilt or quaker guilt?
/r/askMRP20/04/16 09:06 PM
1

Interesting. I am a Latin mass Catholic too, for 20+ years. Yes, the respect for patriarchy and fatherhood is stronger in a Latin mass parish than in your typical novus ordo parish, (most of which are really run by women behind the scenes because few priests can withstand a crying, accusing woman). And our priests are FSSP and outstanding. Even so, there is a fair amount of pedastalizing, idealizing, and chivalry from a lot of the men. Even at my K of C group, the men speak in terms of what thei…
/r/askMRP20/04/16 08:54 PM
1

Yeah it is. Good to know it rains on the just and unjust everywhere.
/r/askMRP20/04/16 08:44 PM
1

Flos, I used to think that too. Now I am not so sure. Swallowing the red pill a year ago, and putting into practice the things I have learned here and other similar sites has changed my life. I am still a devout Catholic, and still a spiritual man. (I was never a perfectly pious Catholic, and I suspect I never will be.) , but I have gone from being an emotional, victim puking wreck, wracked with insomnia, fatigue, irregularity, aches & pains, rages, finding myself sobbing while commuting, pushin…
/r/askMRP20/04/16 02:54 AM
1

I think I understand your analogy. it has some merit.
/r/askMRP19/04/16 04:15 PM
3

Yes, it sure does. Which is a sign of progress.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:46 PM
1

True, and the Catholic Church does not forbid divorce per se, just divorce and re marriage. But thats neither here nor there.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:45 PM
1

Its a nice thought, but I have never in my life seen a thin farmer. She talks of buying a tractor to do all the work. No sweat, very expensive.. and not gonna happen.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/16 08:42 PM
1

She has hurled a lot of shit at me over the years, but "Your personality sucks" is completely new. Weird, because now more than ever I feel more confident, relaxed, cheerful, and in control of myself than I ever remember being. Thanks for the tips.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:35 PM
3

I don't mind telling you, your confidence is very re assuring. Any which way, I'm never going back to the way I was before. Never.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:13 PM
4

Thanks. That helps me put it into perspective. Child had left the room. i went up to wife and said it sotto voce. Of course, there are no secrets in a family. She said she felt humilated. But I felt that, had my daughter at that point said something back to wife, it could have gotten out of control real fast. So I intervened.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:00 PM
2

Oi is good I think. I don't let her moods affect me. When she denied sex, I just shrug and roll over and go to sleep. Game.. I'll admit thats been tough because in the past year she has gained weight and is a couch potato.. so, my desire for her has gone way down. I have been more aggressive and selfish in the bedroom. I have not asked for sex in over a year. I have been telling her matter of fact what I want, and she usually complies, and sometimes enjoys. At night she seems to enjoy it. In the…
/r/askMRP18/04/16 07:53 PM
1

Well, when she said "your personality sucks", I guess that made me think "shit" instead of "comfort". I don't mean that sarcastically. If I'm wrong, tell me how. But thats how I saw it.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 07:47 PM
1

Well, maybe. They say give yourself, and your LTR , a month for every year you were a weaksauce bluepill foul up. Ok, so I set the 4th of July as a reasonable benchmark. I have to admit that I am doing good on 1 -3 , but 4 is proving elusive. How do I draw her into my life, my vision? SHe is so obsessed with her hobbies and her "dream " of someday owning her own farm or truck garden. She has no money for this, and her health.. organic farming of 10 acres, far too physically demanding for her.. a…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 12:52 AM
1

This post is making me think. I unplugged almost a year now. Have lost 20 lbs, been doing stronglift 5 by5, upgraded ward robe, haircut, confidence is way up, getting lots of IOI from chicks, and I am leading my family more in the way i should have been all along, with quiet confidence and authority instead of yelling.. but, wife is still largely sullen, withdrawn, grumpy, and shows no interest in doing anything to attract me. She still hurls shit tests my way on occasion, but I bat them aside w…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/16 02:33 AM
1

Good point.. if phrased somewhat pungantly. Whinemore, I'll never understand how you lost your job at the state department ??
/r/askMRP21/03/16 02:48 AM
2

Just wondering, how did this end for you? Or is it still ongoing?
/r/askMRP18/03/16 01:49 AM
1

This is my instinct.. but, there are 2 schools of thought in MRP. Some say the way to go is game her harder, fuck her harder and as long as she is putting out, don't withdraw affection and attention. Or am i missing something here? ( a possibility, I admit ).
/r/askMRP18/03/16 01:18 AM
1

I,d guess 200 lbs easily. 40 - 45 percent, based on the pics you provided. Allowing for birthing several children of course. Stretch marks like that Don,t bother me a bit. Those are war wounds. When she sits on floor with our youngest, she can stand up again without help, but not without difficulty. And she complains endlessly of various muscle aches and pains that sometimes trigger migranes.
/r/askMRP17/03/16 02:17 PM
1

She has a minor thyroid imbalance, but the doc has her on meds and its under control. More ominously, she has had medical issues caused or aggravated by her weight and sedentary lifestyle. The last one put us back a couple thousand for an ER visit.
/r/askMRP17/03/16 02:05 PM
2

Thanks for the needed reminder. That's helpful and lines up with past experience.
/r/askMRP17/03/16 02:01 PM
1

I am avoiding big convos because they lead nowhere good. I,m not afraid of her shitstorms, but generating one won,t help to move things in the right direction. In short convos, she acknowledges she needs to lose weight, but does not follow through.
/r/askMRP17/03/16 01:59 PM
1

I am 25 years married as well, conservative Catholic. I grock everything you are saying. One thing I'll throw out there: the ability to remain calm and objective during her shit storms and moods is so empowering. To me, this , as much as the sex, is the essence of manhood.. to be an oak and not get drawn into her drama. To not have an all night toxic fight and feel dirty and drained the next day. Its something I never had before, and now I do.. and looking back at the way I was before, its almos…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/16 03:32 AM
1

The no win scenario. Its a possibility we should all allow for, because its going to happen at least once in your life, and probably several times.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 03:47 PM
2

Hey, you did a work of mercy bro. Good on ya! Its highly encouraging to read these kinds of success stories. I'm glad you posted it. "..The ripples of your masculine frame extend past your marriage. Whether intentional or accidental, the man of high value is influencing events around him..". Most definitely.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 01:57 AM
1

It turned out ok. Actually, I had pretty much forgotten about it until I saw your response. She made a few elliptical comments about V-day, but that was it.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/16 10:05 PM
1

Well, for various reasons I won't go into, its pointless to speculate if she is "the right woman" or not, so I guess that leaves leadership.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 02:23 AM
1

Good point. I am not nearly as angry as I used to be, but its still there.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 03:20 PM
1

Yup, thats more or less it. Part of redpill for me is accepting that I can't change her, I cannot make her happy. I want her to be happy of course, and I'm willing to help, but I will not be held responsible if she is unhappy.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 02:45 PM
2

Quite a bit. Since unplugging, I have hit the gym religiously. Lost 20 lbs of fat, 10 more to go. I am 5' 11" 190 lbs. Yes, I 've been liting ( of course) 3 - 4 times a week. Bought some sharp new threads, threw out some old ones. New hairstyle. She has noticed, as have others. I feel a lot more at ease, in control. No more yelling at kids, that ended months ago. I have a new vibe at the office and at home. Others have noticed, and commented. Getting lots of IOI from good looking chicks younger …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 01:04 AM
0

Sounds like you're hitting it, and.. THANK YOU for giving me a great idea. I also travel for work, and why they idea of scheduling my trips during shark week never occured to me before is astounding! Yes, I have experienced a similar thing with wife. Last few years her hormones have changed.. perimenopause maybe? Now, instead of the lunar calendar, its more erratic. 45 days of a sullen scroll zombie, followed by three days of tears and tantrums, then sweetness and light.. but even without the ho…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/16 06:52 PM
2

I understand what you mean. TV and movies look totally different now.. but I find a lot of movies and authors I used to like, I like even more. Heinlein is still great for sci fi. I always liked Ray Bradbury and still do. Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle as well. Any Mike Hammer book by Micky Spillane. "I The Jury" is a classic if you like crime/ detective genre. For movies. "El Dorado" is one of my favorite westerns. Robert Mitchum's performance was one of his best, IMHO.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/16 02:52 AM
1

Depends. For us middle-aged guys, 15-20 minutes of intense cardio has a lot of benefits. After that, its a waste of time, unless you're in training for a specific event. But the lifting should take precedence.
/r/askMRP01/02/16 06:19 PM
1

Arguing witn a woman is this: you are a master fencer, with a finely crafted foil.. and she is standing on a hill throwing rocks at you. Sure, you can dodge and deflect, but eventually you will tire, your fine expensive weapon will be ruined, you will never get near her.. and she will NEVER run out of rocks. Dont remember where I read that, but its appropos.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/16 09:00 PM
2

Woo-hoo! I got banned from bluepill for truth telling!
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/16 12:20 PM
0

Yes, I see that now. The getting her drunk part was exageration, as I pointed out in my edit above. THe bluepill brigade is definitely on the war path. Without us to hate, would their lives have any meaning??
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 09:41 PM
1

Just to be clear, I am not holding a grudge. Your first comment mentioned the possibility that SHE may be holding on to grudges, which may be negating the dread I am laying on, and I agree with that.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 09:39 PM
0

I forgive you, Audra. You don't know know what you're saying.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 09:00 PM
-3

Looks like I got cross-posted to bluepill..again. God, those people are pathetic.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 03:51 AM
0

What you said about blocking dread to hold onto grudges, it adds up. The dread IS working, but ever so slowly. Sex? Well, for a long time in our marriage she enjoyed it, relished it, and yes she did orgasm au natural.. Then, when she stopped enjoying it, she claimed she never really did like it that much. Bullshit. On this, I am going with 'watch what she does, not what she says". As of right now, she does not enjoy it. Age? Hormones? SMV? All of the above? IDK. Thanks for the advice. One thing …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 03:32 AM
1

Interesting. I never thought of it quite in that way before. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 01:14 AM
-9

Its a shit test for several reasons, 1) She waited until we were about to have sex to bring it up, when she could have discussed it at any time. 2) History: I used to do all that stuff for her before I unplugged, and she lost interest in sex. She keeps moving the goalpost. 3) If a woman REALLY wants to make things better in the bedroom, she'll tell you what she wants, not spw forth with general, boiler plate complaints.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 12:21 AM
5

So true. I was watching an old western circa 1960 last weekend where one of the characters was trying to talk his buddy out of pursuing a woman. "This one is special!" His surely response: "They're all the same. God just gave 'em different faces so's you could tell 'em apart."
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/16 03:39 AM
1

This is an excellent post, thank you. We need more like this because Christianity is naturally redpill, but scripture has been so white-washed and feminized in the West that most men are alienated from it. Churches are often run by women behind the scenes.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 03:43 PM
2

I had the same thing happen. When I started hitting the gym, ( cardio and lifting, lifting), eating right, and then putting into practice what I learned here, my insomnia went away. i hit the pillow and I am gone.. and I wake up refreshed! Not fatigued, achy and pissed. Indigestion, fatigue, aches and pains, anger, depression, insomnia, the mental anguish you mentioned.. gone. I would not have believed it. I still have a long way to go, but I'm on my way. Strength and honor, brother.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 03:54 AM
1

No. Now, who the hell are you, and why are you talking to me about a mythical post?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 03:15 AM
2

Ok, that makes perfect sense...yeah, she never batted an eye when I was working 60 hours a week at 2 jobs, going to grad school. But those days are over. I am not sending myself to an early grave just so she gets to stay home, do what she wants, and maybe dabble at being a wife. Not a main event, just a tremor.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/15 03:02 PM
4

Thanks for the tip. I interpreted it to mean that she does not like men, but you may be right. Wives excel in ambiguity and plausible denial.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/15 07:32 PM
1

Heard that. A few months ago, wife was shit testing me because she had to go back to work to help pay some bills, and how unjust this was. I looked her in the eyes, and told her very calmly. "The days of (my name) the pack-mule are over." Well, her eyes got big and she looked scared. She was literally speechless. I now realize this was my fault. I let myself get yoked and harnessed, because I thought that was what was expected of me.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/15 03:47 AM
2

Question: is your wedding band an impediment to "cold approaches"?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/15 02:02 AM
2

Any lone wolfer's out there who had a similar problem? Also, anyone who had to rebuild their entire friend group from the ground up? Yeah. First few years of marriage I used to get asked out to social occasions a lot, even though I tend to be a loner. Then, I became my wife's orbiter and stopped accepting, so people stopped asking and old friendships withered. Now, fast forward 15 years and I am having to start from scratch. Not easy, but I'll figure it out. Mainly I'm trying to become the guy w…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/15 07:36 PM
2

Outstanding. You are fortunate indeed to have a wife who voluntarily subjects herself to the Christian standard. But the first generation of Christians had mostly mixed marriages, so we each must bear our own burdens.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/15 10:06 PM
1

The ability of a man to father children well into old age is a part of what makes us men. The other part is the self discipline that makes procreation only happen at a time, place, and woman of your choosing. We are men, not livestock, not pet cats or dogs that many women would like us to be. Also, you may feel strongly right now that this is what you want, but will you still feel that way in 5 years.. 10 years? Vasectomies are very hard to reverse, once done. EDIT: I've seen various articles th…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/15 05:02 PM
1

"I think the pod people finally brought my wife back". Good one! wardrobe advice: I favor fitted shirts with darker colors, restrained patterns.. European style cut like Red Level Nine, which means no pocket on the shirt and wider collars. If you are lifting, this type of shirt will highlight your new bulges without being too showy. It looks professional and manly, not at all hipster. I sometimes mate a darker shirt with lighter colored cords in Fall and winter. I sometimes wear wrangler blue je…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/15 03:35 PM
2

My plan is this: I am going to check out this "sex god" method. Long term though, I am going to keep improving myself, leading my family, and drawing boundaries and guarding them. Ultimately, I think this will lead to a better me, and a better envioronment all around for my kids, and it will force her to either join the movement, or move on. As for cheating, I agree that I would never do that as a way to make her change
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/15 03:06 PM
2

I too am about six months in, and a lot of this sounds familiar. Although I am making steady progress on all fronts, she has not moved an inch. She is still sullen, sulky, resentful, negative, and her main response to my new good vibe and confidence is silence and disdain..so, its good to read that this is not unusual. I have to remind myself constantly of the one year/ one month rule. I think the main thing is that she has convinced herself that my Christian faith will never permit me to dump h…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/15 09:57 PM
1

Good advice. What do you suggest when they are sullen, sulky, withdrawn and giving you the silent hate treatment?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/15 04:33 AM
3

Dr. Laura's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" came out about 12 years ago. It had a similar theme, was savaged by feminists, and it had lots of good advice for unhappy wives. The problem is that the only kind of wife who would not tear that book in half and burn it is the kind who doesn't need it in the first place, so what good is it to anybody?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/15 10:55 PM
2

Yes he was. And he never spoke a word about his war experiences until he was quite up there in years. He was pretty much alpha, now that I think about him.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/15 07:35 PM
2

Thanks for your service. My Dad was a WW2 vet. He still called it "Armastice Day" till the day he died.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/15 04:49 PM
2

I've been thinking about maybe buying an outfit or 2 for my wife.. both for the bedroom and for the general public. I have in the past, and while she usually wears what I buy for her, later in a fight she will often use that to prove that I am "controlling". I know, its a bs charge. Others here have said that picking clothes out for her may come off as too beta, too controlling. Whats your take?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/15 06:50 PM
2

Thanks. I started about the same time you did, and I too have had setbacks/ loss of frame, etc. But I keep on lifting and working out. Have lost 17 pounds, starting to look good. The early morning workouts before breakfast (20 minutes intense cardio, followed by lifting) make me feel.. so ..much..better. More energy, more focus. Things like heartburn, insomnia, fatigue, aches and pains, depression, lack of motivation, short fuse, indigestion.. are either all gone or almost all gone. I cut way ba…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/15 08:10 PM
3

Good on ya, mate! My wife fights me every inch of the way. She questions every decision, resents my leadership, has total contempt for the very idea of male headship, argues and seethes every time I overrule her or disregard her counsel. Constant power struggle. But I'd sooner eat dirt than go back to the way I was before I unplugged 6 months ago. Thanks for the post!
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/15 10:37 PM
1

My wife has attacked me, tried to toss an iPad through the room, smashed a plate on the desk in front of me. Holy shit. Well, I've gotten similar treatment just when I was being a full bore whiny beta victim puker to her, so I suppose I can face it again if it might lead to somethinbg better. How is she now?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/15 10:23 PM
2

Ok. Thats my instinct, but I have heard other notables on this list say we should continue to initiate as we improve, and not turn down starfish. To try to fuck some sense and respect into her,as it were, by taking her to poundtown. Right now though, I am not attractted to her (my SMV is much higher) and don't get much out of, and her disposition has not improved a whit. What's your take?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/15 09:30 PM
5

This makes me want to give up totally on starfish sex.. which is all I have been getting for the last few months.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/15 12:12 AM
1

Dr Laura, God bless her, has been telling women this same thing almost word for word ffor years. Some women listen and act on it. Most don't. For men, regrettably, its irrelevant. I gave a copy of Dr Laura's book to my wife 10 years ago. Not only did it not move the dial, it gave her another hammer with which to pound me with.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/15 11:20 PM
1

They should have a different subreddit for us older guys that have fucked up 15+ years. When you start turning the ship it takes a very big effort and lots of work. Amen, brother. I am 20+ years married, and 6 months since unplugging. The "work" is steady, I'll say that much.
/r/askMRP04/11/15 09:37 PM
2

I think you're mostly wrong there. Children are the primary reason for marriage, but not the only reason. Childless marriages do occur, but they are the exception that proves the rule.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/11/15 04:07 PM
1

I literally gpt goosebumps reading your post, man. Almost everything you described mirrors my own situation. I'm in the same place. My wife said almost the exct same thing to me the other day about my weight loss and toning up.... I was like "wtf?? Really?? She is trying to sabotage my fitness plan". Who knew??
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/15 03:52 AM
1

Agreed.Thats your castle man, your place. Why leave just on her say so? Who fucking died and left her in charge? She is the one not happy, therefore she should be the one to leave.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/15 03:27 AM
-1

A lot of truth in that. Victimhood is western man's way of avoiding responsibility and accountability, and there are now whole industries devoted to this paradigm. If my life is fucked up, it HAS to be someone's fault, right? Mom, Dad, the church, male patriarchy, the NFL...I mean its either my fault or someonse else's, and since it can't possibly be mine, that means the blame is on someone else. The tautology logic is inescapable.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/15 05:28 PM
5

Thanks for this post, and the responses. I am in the same situation. From the reading I have done, issues like this can remain dormant for a long time.. then when a woman hits mid life..BOOM! Its like a ticking time bomb. She starts to unravel, starts treating hubby like the enemy, wants to find herself, loses interest in sex. For me, as the captain of my ship, its like navigating through a minefield during a typhoon. A real challenge. I didn't lay those mines. None of this is my fault, but its …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/15 03:10 PM
7

I recently sent my wife back to work, to help pay off some debt. Told her it was for just a year. We'll see. She was so certain the house would collapse into chaos without her. Anyway, I created a chore chart for the kids, and managed our transition. Guess what? Everything is getting done. After so many years of wifey telling me how indispendible she was, she is witnessing a household running quite smoothly without her. It has put her hamster into overdrive. Its been a joy to watch. Now I know, …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/15 12:28 AM
-1

LOL Because she is an inside cat and has trouble finding the litter box in the dark. Relax. I am a cat man. Friend of felines.
/r/askMRP24/10/15 07:34 PM
3

"Low quality wife"? How does that square with AWALT? Anyway, if you have a high quality wife, if you don't object when she wants to hang around and party with trashy, low quality people, then she may not be high quality for much longer. Low quality wives can improve. High quality wives can dive into to the gutter.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/15 07:31 PM
2

Sounds like you handled it well, but are you concerned at all that instead of accepting your (better) alternative that you go with her, that she dropped the whole thing?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/15 02:16 PM
-5

Copy that. If it looks like shitty advice after you sober up, let me know.
/r/askMRP24/10/15 03:18 AM
-2

True. Thanks.
/r/askMRP23/10/15 09:31 PM
0

Yeah, I heard that. My wife complained about how unhappy she was when she was a SAHM too.
/r/askMRP23/10/15 09:31 PM
1

Thanks.
/r/askMRP23/10/15 08:04 PM
1

Yup, that's all true. Thanks.
/r/askMRP23/10/15 07:50 PM
2

Thanks.
/r/askMRP23/10/15 07:48 PM
-2

True. Thanks.
/r/askMRP23/10/15 07:44 PM
-4

You called it. Thanks.
/r/askMRP23/10/15 07:43 PM
2

Excellent post. You give me hope.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/15 04:02 PM
2

1) Last couple of weeks, I let my temper get the better of me and lost frame with kids, yelled. It was not necessary. They were trifling matters.I see how it happened. I did not plan ahead and anticipate , and I let my inner peace be disturbed. The fix here is to extend OI to other things besides sex. 2) I came so close to bitching to wife last night about her lack of intertest in sex, it scared me and I held back. Instead, at 5 am I went to the bathroom, and ordered her to remove her nightgown …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/15 05:31 PM
4

Thanks for posing this question. Its one I have pondered. The answers really help me to see things more clearly. Sure, I want my wife to behave more rationally, hold herself accountable for her shit, and crave sex more. Who wouldn't? People in Hell want ice water too. Whats it got to do with anything though?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/15 04:39 PM
1

Ok, fair enough
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/15 02:02 AM
6

You're a shitty son. if you think a weekly skype call to the woman who bore you, raised you, educated you, etc is "too attached", then you're waaayy off base. A man who doesn't have time for, or is ashamed to mention, his mother, is a piss poor excuse for a man.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/15 02:01 AM
1

Yes, I am.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/15 01:59 AM
3

This is a very thought provoking post. I too am a Christian and integrating red pill/ manosphere philosophy into my Christian beliefs is actually not that hard.. once you jettison the feminized version of Christianity that has been peddled for the last 40 years, and fpcus on the authentic Christian doctrines.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/15 12:39 AM
1

Sorry for the delay in replying. I ran the budget and I simply explained reality to her, that we simply could not afford to live the way we were any longer. Kept telling her no, we could not afford this, that , the other thing when she asked. I expected this to wear on her and for her to eventually blow up at me, and I was ready for it. It was then after I calmed her down and she was at a low ebb, I said "well, I have been looking at some numbers and I think I know a way out." I presented my pla…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 01:37 AM
7

To me, love is a choice you make every day. In my vows, I promised to stay with her 'till death do us part. Right now, and for the past couple of years, I don't have a whole lot of warm feelings towards her, and not a lot of sexual attraction. She decided to go do her own thing, within the marriage, and pretty much gave up on trying to attract me. After too many fruitless years of trying to coax, bribe, assuage, reason, and argue her back into the marriage, I came across MRP et al. I see where I…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/15 07:45 PM
8

She has expectations that even she can't articulate. True. I'm learning that they really don't now what they want. How did I miss that for so long?? They have to be told. I'm brought back to a line from the old Star Trek series, what an alien robot said when it absorbed the mind of a woman. "A mass of conflicting impulses. Absorbing it unsettled my circuitry."
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/15 04:56 PM
-1

Not by any rational definition of abuse. I'm not breaking any laws of God or the state, and I'm not breaking my marriage vows. What else matters?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/15 02:38 AM
3

The plasticity of a woman is something to behold. So true. And if husbands don't mold them, someone or something else will, most likely to our detriment.. and hers too.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/15 05:11 PM
1

What you say has merit, but I've been married 20+ years, and probably been blue pill beta for 75% of that time until June 2015. Ya gotta walk before you can run. I'm happy with my direction and accomplishments so far. I don't want to over compensate, as I have seen others do. But you're right. Its time to deal with this behavior head on.
/r/askMRP27/09/15 05:27 PM
2

Thank you for your insights. This is very helpful. My daughter has recently expressed interest in a college that is quite a ways away from us. Its a great college and I would like to send her there when the time comes, but wife seems against it. At first this puzzled me, but now it kind of makes sense. She is both jealous of and trying to live vicariously through our daughter.. which she would be unable to do if daughter was far away.
/r/askMRP26/09/15 01:22 PM
3

I'm in pretty much the same position and I have not cracked the code on it yet. My wife was a SAHM for 20 years, but our finances made it necessary for her to go back to work, but since she started I have found other good reasons to have her back at work besides money. I picked out a good, easy job for her that paid well enough. No weekends, steady hours. She is unhappy there. She was unhappy at home too, but at least now she is productive.
/r/askMRP26/09/15 03:17 AM
2

Some sort of serious personality disorder I guess. No, I don't ignore her all the time, but the periods of her bitchiness and being morose and withdrawn are making it much harder for me to want to even speak to her.
/r/askMRP26/09/15 02:21 AM
1

what's in it for them. I have had my wife use these exact words to me in arguments, years ago. Arguments about why she wouldn't put out, dress better, act cute etc. "What's in it for me?" I think that was the epiphany that started to make clear to me, at long last, things that ought to have been painfully clear for a long time.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/15 07:42 PM
1

Sounds like my wife.. and just about every other woman I know. One minute she is telling me how smart I am and how lucky she is to have me around. Fast forward 2 days, she is melting down, saying "I should have listened to my mother and not married you!" Then the next day she is complaining about how her mother is a bitch and favors my wifes sister over her. This used tie me up in knots. Since MRP, I just smile and go on about my affairs. Its like a passing storm.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/15 03:48 PM
1

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete - R. Buckminster Fuller.. Now, I honestly don't know who the hell this Fuller guy is, but what he said is right on target for us MRP men.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/15 09:17 PM
1

It can be dangerous, like a minefield. Were you wearing your wedding band?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/15 08:39 PM
1

Thanks for this post. I am a few years behind you in age, but the principle is the same and there are some similarities to my situation. Nice to know this works just as effectively in 50's as it does in 20's.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/15 02:43 PM
1

Good FR! This sounds eerily similar to what has been going on in my house the past few months. I've been following the advice given below, and its been working. After 20 plus years of marriage, I finally learned a way to end the fucking fights. Of course, I knew that even if the fighting did end, my wife would still be unhappy. She was unhappy as a SAHM, now she is unhappy as a full time wage slave. I hope she sees this, but I'm not holding my breath waiting for it. I'm happy, I am moving with a…
/r/askMRP21/09/15 08:02 PM
1

Thanks, I have been wondering on that a little too. I am reluctant to do kino and slap her ass when she is grumpy, frumpy, and acting like a bitch.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/15 02:14 AM
3

Yeah, I know what you mean. Thing is, I want her to be a SAHM, but only if she is productive. Last few years, she fell into some bad habits coupled with an entitlement mentality. I see now it was largely my fault. I let it happen. I got sloppy and went full beta, left my family mostly rudderless. Well, thats over with.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/15 06:56 PM
1

Damn! You've done a good job of destroying her inhibitions. Handjob with spawn in the vicinity?? Thats big time.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/15 06:44 PM
1

All good points. SHE does not have me on lockdown, but my values dictate a very high threshold before walking. Exactly where that line is , I'm not really sure. I need to do some self reflection on that. Peter's epistle said husbands should stay with their wives, and Christ said any man who divorces his wife and marries another committs adultery, unless the marriage was unlawful to begin with.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/15 04:44 PM
1

There, I have to disagree. Feminists have expanded the definition of abuse to mean anytime a woman "feels"abused or feels threatened.It could by my voice is too loud, or I am not blinking my eyes fast enough. I don't want to go there. Besides, the behavior I am describing is, accordning to red pill, typical female behavior. Is acting shitty towards your man abuse, or is it a case of AWALT? I tend to think the latter.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/15 03:22 PM
1

This is helpful. Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/15 03:17 PM
2

You mean the book that millions of average women bought, on their own, with no prompting required from any man? THAT book?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/15 02:42 PM
1

Yeah, she accuses me of all kinds of crazy shit when she is mad. Insulting too. I used to get butthurt, which was her goal. Now I shrug it off. AM. It gets her hamster going big time. Oh well. I had a good summer, and by God I am going to have a good Fall. Autumn is my favorite time of year. If she wants to come along, good.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/15 12:39 AM
0

Jeez, IDK. The descriptions of gaslighting seem so broad and vague that almost anyone could be accused of doing it. If 2 parties disagree on what happened, then one side accuses the other of gaslighting? No, my wife's specialties are blame shifting, lack of accountability, entitlement mentality, hostility, self pity, defensiveness, rebelliousness. She has been sullen and annoying most of the summer, but I swallowed red pill in late May, and this has been one of the most peaceable and productive …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/15 12:20 AM
-1

Interesting. I'd like to explore this further, but I'm not sure this is the best place for it.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/15 03:35 PM
1

This has been a stumbling block for me, because we have been married 15+ years and have multiple kids. Also, I am an active Catholic, involved in church and she knows my views on divorce and re-marriage. In fact, recently during a shit test, she said to me "you are a very moral man". And it seemed out of context. I strongly believe that one of the reasons she has been shitty to me over the years is her belief that no matter how bad she I is, I won't dump her. She knows that I think abuse, adulte…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/15 02:40 PM
0

Good question. I am not against all talking, but I would put a strict time limit on it. "Okay, you've got 15 minutes. Shoot." If what she wants to talk about is substabtive and worth listening to, you should be able to resolve it in 15 minutes. If its the usual round of victim puke, emotional blackmale, I'm not happy and its your fault crapola, then I would cut it short. Leave, go lift. hit the gym.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/15 12:54 AM
1

Interesting. I am Catholic and the Epistles of Peter and Paul about wives obeying and submitting to their husbands are almost universally ignored,or worse, ridiculed and whitewashed beyond recognition. A lot of nonsense from the pulpit about "mutual submission", (this is only regarding sex and the marriage debt, NOT leadership in the home). It is what it is. I know that when I married, God appointed me head of my family and only that High Authority can revoke my commission. The scriptures do not…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/15 06:30 PM
1

Always avoid these "talks" like the plague. They never serve any purpose or "communicate" and improve any marriage. I'll swear to that before God and all the saints, based on 15+ years of experience. Not only do they serve no purpose, but they often make things worse, always waste time, and leave one feeling drained and defeated. Skip it.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/15 05:19 PM
0

This is platinum! As a lifelong Christian, I have been struggling to reconcile my faith with some aspects of red pill thinking. This is helpful. Some of what has been presented to me as "Christian" over the years, I am beginning to see, really is not. Christ never told men they had to weaklings, that they had to defer to their wives. Christ never said "happy wife, happy life." In fact, St Paul said the opposite.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/15 05:14 PM
1

After reviewing the comments and advice he got, I would take from it that I need to constantly remind myself why I swallowed rp in the first place. Maintain frame, AM, and NO BIG DEEP DISCUSSIONS. I am in my 4th month,and so far everything is working exactly as the folks here said it would. Keep lifting, and keep my eyes on my long term financial,personal, and family goals. I am the captain, I am responsible. I work harder than everyone else. I've seen my family through some tight spots by makin…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/15 02:28 AM
0

"I don’t believe that I can assert myself, be respected and heard, and still maintain this relationship." Well, what the hell are you doing right now? It sure ain't darning my socks are making my breakfast, is it?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/15 02:18 AM
2

Dude, thanks for sharing this because I have a strong feeling that a scene very much like this is on the horizon for me, and I'd like to be prepared
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/15 01:52 AM
2

Let her learn that her absence is not missed or noticed This is a constant recurring them in MRP, and one that I think is profound and critical. I want her, but I don't really need her.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/15 06:07 PM
3

Sounds like AWALT. Whenever my wife gives me a time estimate, I double it. Whenever she gives me a cost estimate, I multiply it by a factor of four. If that figure puts us over budget, I ask her to go over the details with me. After twenty years of asking how much and getting "just a couple of bucks.." and getting a bill for $50 or more, I finally wised up. Money burns a hole in their purses, and while shopping time has no meaning.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/15 06:01 PM
0

There are truths that are so self-evident, they don't need proofs. The difference between men and women.. if you don't recognize those, its like trying to teach Geometry to someone who has no clue about the pythagorean theorem.
/r/ThankTRP08/09/15 12:30 AM
0

You are right that we suck at talking about big issues, but most married couples do. Men simply are not equipped to talk about "big issues " with their wives, because men talk from facts and reason and women from emotion. Another commentator once comapred it to master fencer showing up to a rock fight. No matter how good he is, he will eventually tire because the world has more rocks than he has endurance. As for considering her perspective, that is exactly what I am doing. I think it is fundame…
/r/ThankTRP07/09/15 09:25 PM
1

I've had my wife go batshit crazy like that a few times, and maybe more than a few. If and when it happens again, I hope I handle it as well as you did.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/15 07:44 PM
2

I have never heard of kids getting moms maiden name after a divorce. Whats all that about. If you were married to her when she gave birth to your kids, they automatically get your name, and keep it.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/15 02:55 AM
0

Assuming she is not cheating on you, it sounds like she is taking counsel of her fears. Talking about it more will probably not help, as it sounds like you've talked it out to no avail. I agree with the commentators who say, no more protection, no more pulling out. Be straight with her. No anger, no drama, just do what you say and say what you do. Then, she has a choice: green sex or no sex at all. If she chooses the latter, then you have a choice: stay or go.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/15 05:31 PM
-2

Glad you asked! Yes, on a recent trip I took her for a walk on a little nature trail, and after making out for a while she , with very little prompting, knelt down and sucked me off. This was indeed progress because a week prior I had asked her to blow me in the bedroom, but she was reluctant to get on her knees to do it. This time she did so np. She swallowed like a pro and then pulled up my pants and buttoned me up with a mischievous giggle. I rewarded her with a long kiss on the mouth and a f…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/15 02:20 AM
-6

Not true! You're not in my life, and I don't give a fuck about your feelings.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/15 12:26 AM
-4

Yup, you're right. Mea culpa.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/15 10:30 PM
-1

I am touched by your concern for my well being. The way you keep shifting your arguments though, you'll forgive me if I do not take your advice.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/15 08:57 PM
-7

The article you posted says to me that the legal system is fucked up. But I already knew that. The Duke LaCrosse case, the recent insane decisions of our Supreme court prove that. It has no bearing on me. I am a married man. Violence, threats of violence, or drugs are not a part of our life. For you to assume otherwise from my post says a lot about your own bottlefed prejudices.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/15 08:48 PM
-10

The reason I respond is that in my religion, Instructing the Ignorant is a corporal work of mercy. Yes, I realize it is probably a lost cause, but that doesn't make it a bad one : )
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/15 08:17 PM
-8

I am flabbergasted. My cranky wife comes at me bold as brass to start a fight. Instead of obliging her, I calm her down, make her laugh, and take her for a ride in the country and give us both a few tingles... and this drives people insane?? What is this sorry world coming to?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/15 08:10 PM
-13

If my post is so obviously a fantasy, then why bother getting upset about it? why bother responding?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/15 08:05 PM
-14

If a woman doen't mind me being a "dick", or even enjoys it, who are you to question her free choice? Take your white knight garbage elsewhere. There is no place for it here amoung adult free people.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/15 08:01 PM
-12

Thank you! Coming from your kind, thats high praise.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/15 05:43 PM
1

Thanks. Let me know how it goes. I started small. First time a few months ago I just went a few miles to the McDonalds drive through for coffee. She was nervous as hell. Couple weeks ago we spent half the day driving around, must have been a good 30 miles from home, out in the middle of nowhere. . She asked me to stop at a roadside fruit stand, and she got out went shopping for peaches and melons barefoot totally unselfconscious. Getting her alone, away from internet, kids, no purse to guard doe…
/r/ThankTRP05/09/15 03:02 AM
0

There is a technique called "lipo-dissolve" that is popular with women of certain age to solve this problem. I found a doctor who used this techniqe on me , successfully, for a different eason. There were no side effects and although insurance did not cover it, the total for 4 treatments over 3 months was under $1000. Google "lipo-dissolve" or lunchtime lipo. Might work for you.
/r/askMRP05/09/15 12:18 AM
1

Would you believe me if I said I have been down that road many times in 20 years? That"lengthy and meaningful conversation" has never resolved anything? that it has often made things worse? That the 3 months since I started following rp has been the most peaceable and stress free period of my married life? That my wife, while still stressed and anxious, is less so than before? Would you believe any of that?
/r/ThankTRP05/09/15 12:11 AM
0

Son, I think you got off at the wrong stop. This is redpill, not Doctor Phil. "I've created a wife.."? Sheesh!
/r/ThankTRP04/09/15 08:53 PM
-9

The whole convo was probably a big hamster at the rejection Thats what I think too. I have never done that before in the history of mankind, so it probably put her hamster in overdrive. And thanks for the advice.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/15 02:43 PM
-58

Sometimes she is genuinely enjoying it, other times she is cool. I think all the changes I have made have her confused and off balance. Thats understandable. maybe she doesn't believe its real.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/15 02:41 PM
1

No doubt that you need to take total control of the finances. I have been married for 20 + years. I would and do trust my wife with the lives of our kids without hesitation. But there is no way in hell I would ever again trust her to handle our money. She is no damn good at it, and she has too much of an entitlement mentality. I pay the bills, set the budget. A few months ago, before I swallowed rp, she charged $600 on our one and only credit card to buy into a home buisness deal..without even t…
/r/askMRP04/09/15 01:43 PM
-14

No. She had our 2 daughters with her the whole time. Plus, the way she usually dresses and the fact that she is somewhat overweight. the kind of man she would atttract, she would likely have no interest in. Besides, I think I know why she was cool. My dau told me wife went to buy something at a western store, and her debit card was turned down.. due to a $100 limit I imposed a few months ago after she waaaay overspent without even telling me. That was our last "fight" back in early June.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/15 03:21 AM
1

Maybe I am off base here, but I thought part of red pill is not wasting time worrying about things beyond your control. My feeling is that if wife wants to post shit about me/us on FB, knock yourself out. People who know me will know the truth. The rest IDGAF about, right? SHe would only be making herself look like a mean shrew.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/15 03:50 AM
1

My anger at wife has faded to almost nothing. Problem is, I now find her boring, annoying, and unattractive. I guess I always did, but I was so caught up in the anger and fights and whining about sex, I never really noticed.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/15 03:37 AM
2

Stupidist goddam thing I have done in the past 10 years is get my wife into Facebook (4 years ago). I quit it over a year ago. Damn, damn, damn.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/15 02:32 AM
4

Your desire to get your shit in order before having kids is laudable. But let me tell you, you are NEVER ready for them. And what RedCML said is true. Kids are completely manageable, especially if you are now swallowing the red pill. I've got 6 kids (all by the same woman, and all conceived after we got married.. hows that for counter-cultural??). No, we're not jetting around the globe on posh vacations every year, and we go without a lot of "luxuries" that most 2 income, 2 kid couples view as n…
/r/askMRP20/08/15 05:22 PM
2

The thread request was to discuss "weaknesses", that we have identified in ourselves. Before we get carried away with the future, we must first be brutally honest about past mistakes. Otherwise, we run the risk of ending up right back where we started, with our last state worse than our first.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/15 06:15 PM
1

I am three months in, and now that the fighting with wife has stopped, my anger towards her has subsided to almost nothing, the smoke has cleared so I can survey the landscape with a critical eye. Its a sorry scene, and the longer I look the more I see my weaknesses and failures. My career, my financial decisions, the places where I was a complete pussy and abdicated leadership, the times I was bitchy and weak. I would say the weakness I am most ashamed of, and the one which my wife found most r…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/15 09:43 PM
1

"All this lifting over 40 can really tax a guy." Shit, that's the truth! A Swedish massage makes me feel like a new man for 2 weeks after. And, they always say "undress to your comfort level" , so I do.
/r/askMRP18/08/15 07:57 PM
1

Well, you might be right. Is it your view that anniversary celebrations should be earned, not given?
/r/askMRP18/08/15 07:36 PM
0

Thanks! I do like spa massages. I wish I could afford them more often. Just never went with wifey before. I'll ask for female therapists when I make the reservation. If they cannot oblige, fuck 'em. I'll find another spa that can. Nice thing about being red pill now is that when I pay cash money for something, I damn well will have my way. I am planning also to take her to firing range and introduce her to my latest friend, an M1 carbine. Then maybe a steak dinner at my favorite local vineyard.
/r/askMRP18/08/15 07:25 PM
1

wanna trade?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/15 08:44 PM
4

Sorry about that. I was typing on a crappy i-pad and the power in the keyboard was almost out, and I was in a hurry. FIxed.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/15 07:18 PM
1

To me, getting "fixed" is for housepets, not men. We fix tomcats so they will be more docile and less aggressive. OK, yes I know humans are not felines... but psychologically, I think it is perceived that way, so a lower SMV is a real possibility. Also, you say you are sure you want no more kids. Fine. Now sit down and make a list of how many things were you very sure of one year or five years ago that now, you think might be bullshit. Just sayin'.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 08:19 PM
6

We tried counseling twice. Once with a priest and once with a layman. They both gave us very good suggestions.. which she proceeded to ignore. No dice, mate. There are no shortcuts here. Wish there were, but my review of children's lit tells me taking shortcuts always ends badly anyway.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 03:43 PM
5

OP, I started on this journey about 3 months ago. These men are giving you good advice. Take it. I can personally vouch for the part about avoiding the "big talk". Its the God's truth. Who was it that said that the purpose of diplomacy is to prolong a crisis? I don't know, but its also true in marriage. Trying to talk it through will not make anything better, and it will likely make things worse. I've been married over 20 years, and that's been my experience without exception. It was only when I…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 02:11 PM
5

Great field report. Obviously, you are a lot farther along than I am. I am about 2 1/2 months into unplugging. I hear you about the kids. The other day, we were all in the living room and wife shouted shrilly at one of our kids, for no good reason, and he started to give her a comeback.. so before it escalated I said calmly but firmly , to no one imparticular "Stop the yelling, AND the backtalk!" It defused the situation, but I thought for sure I would hear about that later, but, not a peep. So,…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/15 02:40 PM
1

Lately I have been doing shit around my property because it needs doing, and a couple of times she has said "thank you" and it felt wrong. Why is she thanking me for keeping up my own place? Before unplugging I would have lived for that smile and thank you. So, last weekend I fixed a busted door on my shed that I know she wanted fixed a while ago, but was afraid to ask me..after some hesitation I said "Your welcome I guess,, but its my outbuilding on my property, so no need to thank me." Without…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/15 01:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter