Tldr progress on many fronts, but wife,s behavior is worsening; OI remains a challenge.

After about 18 months of unplugging, I've made great strides in fitness, lifting, attitude. In many ways I feel re born. I'm more in control and moving on steadily with my MAP. The way people in public and at work are responding to me is a complete change from a year ago. Getting lots of ioi' from chicks. This weekend I am hitting the road alone for 5k race. But challenges remain.

For the past few months, perimenopausal wife has reverted to silent treatment. Doesn't talk to me unless it's about family logistics, and even then often goes through one of our kids, does not look at or touch me, and is generally frumpy grumpy and dumpy.. Tries to bait me with snarky comments which I ignore or smirk at, and often talks in feminist sounding slogans now. At first this silent treatment pissed me off because it is disrespectful but then I came to see it as a blessing in disguise. Since her behavior is so consistently obnoxious, I just withdrew time and attention and continue to do my own thing and get shit done that needs doing. I am a little concerned that it is going on so long..weeks and now months. But, I maintain a cheerful demeanor around the house and as time goes on her moods affect me less, but I have to be honest they still affect me. I try not to show it. I usually succeed. So, while I have Improved some on OI, it remains a challenge.

She had fallen into the habit of making snarky comments about my appearance, which now that I lift and run regularly and lost 25 lbs is damn good. Trying to bring me down? A couple weeks ago she said at the dinner table "one of the ladies at church was asking me how I can stand kissing you with that beard!" as though it's a horrible experience. She would not tell me who said this. After a little friendly back and forth at the table, I stood up to side my plate, and said matter of fact "well I don't care who she is or how hot she is or how badly she wants to kiss me, I am NOT shaving this beard". The little smirk on her face disappeared, and she looked vaguely troubled. The comments about my beard and thinning hair have since ceased, but this was followed by another 2 weeks of bitchiness and silent treatment. I found myself halfway between annoyed and amused at this, but I made no mention of it. I was too busy with a dozen projects.

Yesterday I was awakened very abruptly out of a sound sleep at 3 fucking AM by my wife pushing and jabbing and kneeing me, because I guess at some point in the night I took up too much of the bed. This is something new, I said "wtf?" not fully awake. She said in a very rude and obnoxious tone "you were in the way, so I pushed you out of the way!" Me: well pardon me all to hell. You could have done that a little more gently. A hand on my shoulder, a whisper in my ear? Her: I'm tired of hearing about your needs! Me: oh great.. You're going to be a bitch all night AND all day. Well she didn't care for that and started to argue, so I said "oh shut up!" And went to sleep. She then decided to sleep on the couch. That night she started to lay into me, about how dare I call her a filthy name.. Even if she was being one. She ginned up a lot of anger, and proceeded to give me a list of acceptable terms I can use to describe her shirty behavior, but not the "b" word because that is abusive. I just smirked and shook my head. " I must be hallucinating. Did I just hear you try to dictate to me how to talk and what words I can and cannot use?" She tried very hard to get me to lose frame, but mostly I held, did not lose my shit. She hurled a lot of hurtful shit at me. How it was a mistake to marry me, how I called her a cunt once (never did). I respnded with A M. She talked about how she has not enjoyed sex in a long time, and would probably need someone else to make that happen.

"Can I watch?" I said with a smirk.

Bottom line it seems she is in a protracted simmering Cold War style rebellion against me, since she can no longer make me dance to her tune. She consents to sex but makes it as horrible as possible so I won't possibly enjoy it.. She does a lot of passive aggressive shot which, so long as no one is endangered, I ignore. In general she regards me with contempt and rejects and resents my leadership. I,m not sure where to go from here, other than to keep on keeping on and be an oak. I don't think calling wife a bitch when she works so hard to earn the title is wrong or abusive, but it may not be terribly helpful. I,m not sure how much of this is hormones, a mid life crisis, or even if that matters. Shirty behavior is shitty behavior. So today when I go home I,m not going to sulk or act hurt, I'm going to go about my business. I may try to game her, or I may not. On that, I'd like to hear some thoughts from you men. Or on anything else you think I need to hear. Thanks.