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Chump_No_More Archive

View 2 posts and 791 comments by Chump_No_More on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

OP, the "Fuck me or Fuck you" ultimatum is classic negotiating desire. Powerful, high value men do not issue ultimatums. It's an abhorrent display of weakness. Powerful, high value men do not ask, let alone beg, because women are desperate to give it to them freely. She told you the 'old her' is dead, so take her at her word and ghost her. Serving her with annulment papers is all the notice she needs of your intentions. Focus on the most important person in your life, you. Become a high value, m…
/r/askMRP25/08/20 07:22 PM
2

"Fuck Me Fuck You" was written into the MRP sidebar by a Purple Pill advocate and was then rehashed by his Blue Pill understudy, who is an MRP Mod. C'mon, man, don't hold back. Tell us what you really think!
/r/askMRP25/08/20 07:01 PM
6

As long as you are your mental point of origin (if I have to explain that, you haven't read shit), then there is no wrong answer. As other's have said, "What do YOU want?" The fact that you're here asking "What to do?!?" means that you haven't internalized shit. You have a lot to do, 99 problems to solve, and what to do with a post-wall woman isn't one of them. Get your shit in order, then you will know what to do.
/r/askMRP19/08/20 10:53 PM
1

Again, we mostly agree. I read somewhere that, "attraction is beta and desire is alpha". Attraction is a woman acknowledging your provider-ship skills. You have a good job, you're well groomed, you take care of your mother, and have a dog. Desire is having mastery of your destiny, knowing your value and not giving it away freely, and not needing a woman other than to overflow an already full cup. Desire will get a woman to crawl through 100 yards of barbed wire to fuck your brains out. Attractio…
/r/askMRP18/08/20 10:43 PM
1

We do agree, I just think that "giving beta" should die a horrible death. Context is important. If it takes more words to say, "Provide comfort from an abundant, alpha frame", then that's what you do because that's unambiguous. "Giving beta" is problematic on several levels, most especially if you believe that Alpha is being within one's Frame and providing comfort and connection does not require one to cede Frame. Providing comfort because you have no other agenda other than "it pleases you" is…
/r/askMRP18/08/20 10:31 PM
1

Women want beta. Women want connection (sex), comfort, and safety from an abundant, alpha man. Women will settle for provider-ship from a beta man, always having one foot out the door.
/r/askMRP18/08/20 08:40 PM
1

Messaging is everything. I'm not a fan of "giving beta" as it implies loss of Frame. I prefer "providing comfort from an alpha Frame". One does not have to lose Frame or MPoO to provide the necessary comfort and emotional connection that is required in a relationship.
/r/askMRP18/08/20 08:29 PM
2

I’ve been in a relationship with this girl for about 3 months. But she’s been my best friend of many years. Friend zoned for years and now you're the best she can get because Covid. Stopped reading after that.
/r/askMRP02/08/20 03:50 PM
6

If the women who are approaching you are predominantly branch-swingers, that not an indictment on them, it's called hypergamy, and yeah it's a feature. The red flag is you, if what you're attracting are branch-swingers who want commitment. Take that as a sign of them wanting a better provider. Never confuse attraction with desire and learn how to tell the difference.
/r/askMRP31/07/20 07:43 PM
6

Have you learned anything, here? Have you read ANY of the sidebar? You're a needy little bitch. This has been your MO from the start. Until you are emotionally self-sufficient and fine being on your own, you have no business engaging in any LTR. Otherwise, you will just keep making the same mistakes over and over and over.
/r/askMRP21/07/20 02:18 PM
2

No confidence. No abundance. No Frame. You're fucked.
/r/askMRP16/07/20 05:33 PM
2

Exactly. Being 'aware' is useless without Frame. Having a strong Frame & MPoO is the Alpha and the Omega. Nothing else matters. These guys who claim they've done the work, but clearly haven't, have got nothing. So what do they do? They've overused 'awareness' to the point of it becoming meaningless. Nobody gives a shit about when you started on your path. What the fuck have you done since?
/r/askMRP13/07/20 09:10 PM
2

Spinning plates is easy. Gaming the same woman everyday will teach you more about your own bullshit than ever before. It's a gift. This is the money quote. ONS and spinning plates are nothing more than convincing a woman you have value where none likely exists. Actually having value and a Frame where you do not give that value away freely is the real trick. As soon as she figures out she's been hoodwinked, hell hath no fury... This is how men find themselves contractually bound to a sex-less rel…
/r/askMRP06/07/20 09:16 PM
11

I have little doubt that we could judge more harshly than you have already. Being red pilled doesn't mean you have all the answers. What it does mean is that you have the tools to be (eventually) introspective, hold yourself accountable (otherwise known as owning your shit), and make the necessary course corrections. Yes, you're 40, but still ahead of the game... most men NEVER figure this shit out. Keep on truckin', brother.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/20 02:16 AM
1

True abundance is knowing that you have the competence to handle whatever comes your way. "Knocked down seven times, get up eight". Divorce, 7 years ago, zeroed me out. Going back to living in an apartment at 53 yo humbles and gives you perspective. So, what did I do? For the first time, I focused on me. "What the fuck did I actually want?" So what did I do? I furthered my health, career, and mastery of self to a level I never thought I was capable. I published peer reviewed papers, developed a …
/r/askMRP26/06/20 11:41 PM
1

Do you want the truth or a bunch of strangers singing kumbaya? Going to 'sleep' at a house rented on marital funds? Wake the fuck up up. She's fucking other men on your dime. Yes, you are that guy that everybody snickers at but then looks away. Too many men here got the speech and then was gas lit and bludgeoned with strong emotion... "How dare you accuse me!". It's the go-to rationalization hamster script for cheating. You've been a shit-head, it's all your fault for the sad state of the marria…
/r/askMRP26/06/20 11:24 PM
1

The advise was plenty constructive, you're just not in the proper Frame to understand it. If you're DEER-ing to complete strangers, then it doesn't take much imagination to guess the dysfunction and disrespect in your marriage. If you said, "I understand my words are meaningless and you are correct in harshly pointing that out. Henceforth, my actions will speak for my character.", the response would have been much different. This is a hot kitchen, if you can't stand it, then GTFO. But understand…
/r/askMRP25/06/20 10:03 PM
3

EVERYTHING you want in life is on the other side of fear. You do not skirt around or avoid it, you confront it head-on.
/r/askMRP17/06/20 02:33 AM
12

The change in paradigm that you must seek is how/where you derive your validation for living a 'well executed' life. Validation is a necessary component of any well adjust human being. Men & women approach it differently... men from the internal, women from the external. A man's existence makes the most sense when he achieves mastery of self and his domain. From mastery, comes abundance. From abundance, comes Frame. From Frame, comes dread and desire. This all comes from within... no man or woma…
/r/askMRP28/05/20 06:35 PM
1

I will add that, with regards to quality of 'desire sex', marriage has little effect if you're already living together. You will always take a hit in the relationship when you offer commitment and limit your options, and nothing sends the message that your options are limited like sharing resources by living together or having kids. Being married is only icing on the cake. Rollo's Iron Rule #4 This is why MRP drills, "Don't be unattractive", into the new guys ad nauseam, until it becomes interna…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/20 05:08 PM
2

Issuing an ultimatum in a situation were you know you have no control is a sign of extreme weakness. Each time you do this, the damage is irreparable and your relationship dies a death of a thousand cuts, because of YOUR weakness of character. The only thing you can control is the rationality of your response, your immediate boundaries, and what behavior you will (or will not) tolerate over the long term. Bear in mind, this strategy of having boundaries in every aspect of your life requires a ma…
/r/askMRP13/05/20 04:01 AM
1

Easy. Don't.
/r/askMRP11/05/20 03:52 AM
1

Nope, not suggesting that he 'tough it out'. Divorcing a 'BPD woman' is a no-brainer, and he wants a pat on the back for that? Fuck that. Read this guy's history and it will become clear to you that he understands nothing and has not done the work. He'll be back a couple years from now, crying about how the next 'BPD woman' is fucking him over. He'll (again) ask a bunch of internet strangers to hold his hand and tell him what to do.
/r/askMRP09/05/20 02:36 PM
6

If you have no such experience then you have no baseline. Life is not a replay of LA HEAT. Yes, I've been there. Twice. 1st wife of 20 years abandoned me & kids for high school flame. Caught 2nd wife fucking multiple co-workers, and was zero'd out. Took 2nd time to realize that common denominator was me and was how I found TRP, roughly 7 years ago. I did the hard work, I un-fucked myself, and now I'm back stronger than I ever was. My life has turned around in ways you can not imagine. So yeah, b…
/r/askMRP09/05/20 02:29 PM
3

Congrats for what? For focusing on ending his shitty marriage instead of the cause of his shitty marriage? What do you think "The 'stay plan' is the same as the 'go plan'" means? The guy stubbornly refuses to do the work and pulls his signature drive by to tell us, "divorce solved all his problems and life is good now". He can't 'finish' what he hasn't started. The saying, "no matter where you go, there you are" applies directly to him. Until he starts to genuinely un-fuck himself, he will be li…
/r/askMRP09/05/20 04:08 AM
7

Okay, you're "finally divorced". That's not a status that's worth writing about. That's lazy and low value. Either tell us what you've learned from all this and how you've changed your paradigm, or go fuck off.
/r/askMRP09/05/20 03:52 AM
1

Late to the party... glad to see somebody beat me to it. Rule #7 is one of my favorites. Nothing screams scarcity and lack of frame like a guy who takes an ex back. Just. Don't. Do. It. Ever.
/r/askMRP07/05/20 08:05 PM
5

Also, read up on Dread, since you've completely misconstrued the purpose of beta (comfort/security) and alpha (desire/anxiety), along with their role in a long term relationship. While sex is the glue that holds a relationship together, comfort is the grease that keeps a relationship moving forward. Sex is not necessarily alpha and comfort is not necessarily beta. It's all in the execution, which is fueled by Frame. Frame is everything.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/20 03:57 AM
1

And for the record I hate using the Alpha/Beta terms as bucket words Agreed. A "Strong Frame" vs "Weak Frame" paradigm will serve a man much better towards internalizing confidence, abundance and mastery.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/20 03:43 AM
2

No, therapy is not cheating. No man is an island and asking for help is not weakness, it's a sign of strength in ego, but who you ask will make all the difference. When an infidelity put me on the path to wisdom, I found a therapist who taught me 'how to fish', with regards to establishing Frame and an abundance mindset. The man was not 'red-pilled' (retired Methodist minister with a PhD in Psychology), but he had developed a keen understanding of how people worked. He was appreciative of the si…
/r/askMRP21/04/20 07:22 PM
4

The 'Assertive Bill of Rights' is from 'When I Say No, I Feel Guilty', by Dr. Manuel Smith. It's in the sidebar, so buy the book.
/r/askMRP21/04/20 07:17 PM
1

Sounds like the stoic's approach to mastery. I will add Mr Newport to my reading list. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/20 06:54 PM
3

Honest introspection is integral to a strong, authentic Frame.
/r/askMRP16/04/20 04:12 PM
5

Agreed. The idea that RP women are easy-mode is absurd. They are quite the opposite. Regardless of a woman's mindset, you still have to give them a compelling reason to accept and enter your Frame.
/r/askMRP12/04/20 11:41 PM
2

I disagree. On one end of the spectrum is a low value man with no frame and no dread. He is incapable of setting and maintaining boundaries and any ultimatum will be ineffectual, a sign of desperation, and fatally unattractive. Just don't do it. On the end is a high value men with a solid frame and mental point of origin. It would never occur to him to issue an ultimatum because: He has an abundance mindset and knows full well that he can replace her if the drama becomes greater than the value s…
/r/askMRP02/04/20 10:31 PM
4

Nothing screams scarcity like issuing an ultimatum. Ultimatums are the ultimate sign of weakness.
/r/askMRP01/04/20 11:25 PM
2

Alpha is not LARPing, it's a mindset that is internalized from deep within. You have no Frame, no Mental Point of Origin, incapable of displaying alpha behaviors, and this is why you fail. LARPing will get you laid, and that's fine if that's your goal, but it's shit for maintaining a healthy relationship.
/r/askMRP17/03/20 11:28 PM
3

It is showing your feelings and that's always a no no. Nobody here of any consequence is saying this, so I don't know where you're getting this message. The classical Stoics have it right. Live every day with passion, just do not allow your emotions to rule you.
/r/askMRP17/03/20 03:35 PM
7

This problem is so pervasive with new guys that the words have to be said, often. STFU is not a mindset, it's a stop-gap.
/r/askMRP17/03/20 03:31 PM
1

What you're describing sounds like the female version of red pill, except they lack the awareness and ability to acknowledge their circumstances. That wasn't my intent. Accepting a new paradigm requires a smashing of the old one and the Sisterhood will never allow that. Just blame the man and claim victim-hood. Dissonance abated and the paradigm is intact.
/r/askMRP13/03/20 09:29 PM
2

OP's wife is a textbook response for a woman who's experiencing the dissonance of the two mutually exclusive narratives that the Sisterhood shoves down their throat... the Disneyland fairy tale and "You can have it all'. Fem-centric society is creating generations of broken women who have no idea what they want and are incapable of being content with what they have, and beta men who are 'just along for the ride'.
/r/askMRP13/03/20 02:46 PM
6

Says she only kissed him and that was it. You know this is bullshit, right?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/20 10:03 PM
2

Seriously, your thoughts on betas never being able to recover are important here when they get the ILYBINILWY speech. You know, you're not far off. I seriously lost my shit on the 1st one. Thinking of my kids pulled me back from the brink. 2nd time was, "I've heard this before, how the fuck did I end up here again?!?" Hence, finding TRP.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/20 10:00 PM
5

I felt was fucking happy and relieved that I wasn't insane Exactly. The other was anger. At myself. My father did not raise gullible, beta losers, and yet there I was.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/20 08:58 PM
6

She was hoping to teach me a lesson. How does she think that worked out for her? My ex has gained at least 100, is in very poor health, and her kids have only contempt for her. The best revenge is just living well.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/20 08:54 PM
3

A good number of us here have ILYBINILWY stories that led us to the RP, I have two. 1st ILYBINILWY was an emotional long-distance affair that eventually became physical after we separated. 2nd ILYBINILWY was full-on physical, after a shit load of gas-lighting, eventually caught her in the act. First one laid me low, but I stubbornly held on to my BP investments. Second one forced me to confront that I was living in Einstein's 'Definition of Insanity', the problem was me, and to forge a new path …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/20 07:13 PM
2

Personal favorite is, "You've given me a lot to think about".
/r/askMRP12/03/20 02:37 AM
1

It takes a a whole bunch of ego investment to ignore/deny that if she's not fucking you, then she's fucking somebody else, and "ILYBINILWY" is her covertly informing you that she's fucking somebody else.
/r/askMRP10/03/20 10:35 PM
1

AWALT is on a spectrum, but she's distant from the center. I chalk up a good chunk of it to families values. Father is old school, retired CG captain, natural alpha. Three daughters that hover around him for family gatherings... He growls and they scatter. Hilarious to watch.
/r/askMRP06/03/20 03:47 AM
2

the 1000 ft rope is real For a relationship, where the man develops real value and a strong Frame while engaged in a 'troubled' relationship, the 1000 ft of rope is absolutely (out of necessity) real. But a high value man would never commit to a woman where any length of rope was required. She's a plate, at best. I've experienced both. The former, with an ex, with whom I ultimately cut the rope. The latter, with my current LTR, with whom a rope was never required because I would have never commi…
/r/askMRP05/03/20 09:55 PM
1

My intent was not to self-deprecate, I give myself full credit for recognizing a woman who would add value to my life and being a high value man who would attract what he projects. Given the current state of femininity, The odds of being in proximity to women with a confident, abundant, feminine, emotionally self-sufficient Frame are appallingly low. This is the world we live in, now. A high value man must be humbly aware that, despite free will & mindful intent, sometimes shit just happens and …
/r/askMRP05/03/20 07:23 PM
1

but also notice NOW while reading the comments that that shit works with me. Talk about stating the obvious! If she's used it more than once, it's because it works. This not fucking rocket science... human behavior 101. Always go by what they do... and then how you respond.
/r/askMRP05/03/20 04:41 PM
3

He's not wrong. You can't have a solid Frame if you don't know who you are and what you want. A healthy Frame is understanding the difference between what you want and what you merit.
/r/askMRP04/03/20 07:38 PM
2

Case can be made that everyone is externally validated to a degree Agreed. Reciprocated love is a virtuous circle of external validation. No human being is exempt from this emotional need, but which predominantly drives your narrative? How does one improve their recognition of the externally validated/emotional vampire type? Start by focusing on her mindset with regards to abundance or scarcity?
/r/askMRP04/03/20 07:32 PM
9

Rollo just posted on this and asks some simple questions... Does she surprise you with acts of kindness and appreciation? Does she inherently know that your success is her success? Does she admire you? How does she show it? Does she know what you need before you know it yourself? Does she plan ahead to ensure you’re taken care of? Does she care to know who, not just what you are? Does she take time to learn about or participate in the things you are passionate about? Does she look forward to hav…
/r/askMRP04/03/20 06:30 PM
1

The only real work done in RP is around frame and mental point of origin - the rest of it is just things we tell guys to do to help with that transition because frame can’t be taught it is earned. Preach it, brother.
/r/askMRP04/03/20 05:32 PM
7

She uses strong emotion to shame you into not enforcing what should be the strongest of personal boundaries, the health of your unborn child, and you give her a free pass on this. Red flags do not get any bigger than this. No better place to build your Frame and Mental Point of Origin than drawing a line in the sand on this. If she leaves you because she can't handle a partner that properly challenges her, then you will still be responsible for a new life, but you will have saved yourself decade…
/r/askMRP04/03/20 05:20 PM
1

Thanks for proving my point.
/r/askMRP02/03/20 09:16 PM
1

That’s an ad hominem argument. I don't think it means what you think it means. The fact that you're not recognizing in the OP's behavior what many do, most notably, Nice Guy Syndrome, it's a fair inference that you're lacking in understanding and self awareness. Have you read the book?
/r/askMRP02/03/20 06:42 PM
1

Spot on. He’s dancing like a good little monkey for everyone else Classic Nice Guy Syndrome. "As long as I'm perfect, everybody will love me." This will continue to hold the OP back and ultimately end him if he doesn't address it.
/r/askMRP02/03/20 03:33 PM
3

Yup. You know you're firing on all cylinders when she tells you, "My body is your playground".
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/20 03:41 PM
5

It's not completely polarized Agreed, it's on a spectrum. I view comfort/shit testing in the same vein as "the opposite of love is not hate". If you're getting either comfort or shit testing, your woman's 'hypergamic doubt' is active and engaged. If you're getting contempt, then her 'doubt' is satisfied, not in your favor, and shit is about to get real.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/20 11:28 PM
8

Comfort & Shit testing are just two sides of the Hypergamy coin. You're either high value, creating dread, and getting comfort tested, or you're not and getting shit tested. Shit/Comfort testing is like thermodynamics, you have to play the game.. you don't get to opt out. It's all just information.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/20 10:36 PM
10

Bullshit to QUALITY of sex ratio. As an electrical engineer, I liken it to 'signal to noise' ratio. All women create drama (noise), as feelz are the medium in which they breathe, but as long as the value (signal) they add is much greater than their drama, I'm good. Stoney is spot-on with regards to vetting women on multiple, arbitrary criteria, whose importance to you widely vary over a lifetime... it's exhausting, subjective and often wrong. There is only one criteria that means shit. Does she …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/20 07:46 PM
2

And there is no "full on MRP". There is just you and what you do, and your boundaries. All of the above, but this^ in particular. Note that "you, what you do, and your boundaries" Has little (nothing?) to do with MRP praxeology for a man who has a strongly internalized Frame. But for a man who has lost the Frame has was born with? The MRP toolbox is essential.
/r/askMRP14/02/20 04:58 PM
2

It is simple, but men have to overcome decades of ego-invested social programming (brain-washing) to understand this. Very few men are exempt from this process.
/r/askMRP13/02/20 04:33 AM
1

What is so hard about doing what pleases you?
/r/askMRP13/02/20 04:27 AM
3

Yes, but concepts of passion, mission, and abundance are foreign to most here. You can't have Frame without outcome independence and you can't be OI without abundance.
/r/askMRP13/02/20 04:24 AM
1

This is classic Nice Guy Syndrome. Stubborn ego investment that people will not love you if you're not perfect. This is why you're stuck. It's easy to analyze the living shit out of a problem when you should be doing, because there is no risk of failure. At some point you know enough and it becomes time to act. The greatest tragedy in life is a man dying as a timid soul who neither knows victory nor defeat.
/r/askMRP11/02/20 06:58 PM
1

You have to get comfortable with Failure
/r/askMRP11/02/20 06:42 PM
3

Few men share the same path to understanding. We come to it in our own time. While Frame is knowing who you are and what you want, Integrity is acting authentically as who you are and what you want, within the limits of your merit. Acting with Integrity can be difficult without Frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/20 01:07 AM
2

Good. Anybody who tells you to do it how he's doing it is full of shit. You have to know who you are and what you want in order to have an authentic Frame and for a Frame to thrive it must be built and fed on YOUR vision. I have a "Best Day Ever" philosophy for feeding my Frame. What I'm doing. Where I'm at. Who I'm with... literally in that order of importance. My Frame is focused on living my "Best Day Ever", every day. Your "Best Day Ever" can't look like mine, or anybody else's.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/20 10:36 PM
2

Why does it matter? Every man has a unique story and what's right for him will not be right for you. You don't have the available bandwidth for these useless questions, focus on what's directly in front of you. And FWIW, when you finally, truly un-fuck yourself, you will KNOW what the answer is. All things in good time.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/20 09:25 PM
4

No. Rule Zero or GTFO.
/r/askMRP04/02/20 08:00 PM
13

Yep, the marriage is done. The contempt from this woman, expecting the OP to willingly foot the bill for an all-inclusive fuck fest, is all you need to know. She thinks he's weak and hates him for it... and she's not wrong. At this juncture, the marriage is beyond setting boundaries. No point to stating "there will be consequences", she won't believe him. She's gonna do what she's gonna do. Nothing here to salvage. The question is what's the OP gonna do? Retain a lawyer and get the ball rolling?…
/r/askMRP30/01/20 06:35 PM
1

Get busy living, or get busy dying. No truer words spoken.
/r/askMRP29/01/20 06:39 PM
2

Fragile egos down-voting you, bro.
/r/askMRP26/01/20 04:19 PM
19

MRP is TRP on hardmode. It's unfortunate that this has become a meme, because this goes to the core of men who find their way here. It's ridiculously easy to get laid when you can hoodwink a woman into believing you are a high-value male. Say the magic words, be the dancing monkey, and you're 'in'. Then comes the hard part... Actually being high value. This is why men find their way here with angry wives. Because they are liars. Women are incapable of resisting a passionate man whose home is in …
/r/askMRP26/01/20 04:07 PM
2

Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi. Everything you want in life is on the other side of fear.
/r/askMRP17/01/20 09:48 PM
1

He said himself the entire reason he didn’t tell her was because he was afraid of how she’d react. That was his ONLY mistake in all of this, and it's a case study for others here on the long-term damage of a shitty Frame.
/r/askMRP17/01/20 06:57 PM
1

I completely disagree. It's his house, it's his business. Obviously, that's not the frame in which the relationship was established, but he's within his assertive rights to change that frame at any time... it's non-negotiable. The strong emotion is the 'tell'... it's all a power play for who has the dominant Frame.
/r/askMRP17/01/20 06:51 PM
1

Forget the context, what is she doing? All attempts of manipulation by consistently moving the goals posts, with a liberal dose of strong emotion. Her arguments make no logical sense... it's your house, fully in your name before the marriage. The business, using funds before the marriage belongs to you. All none of her damn business. Your first fault was accepting "lie of omission" framing, but what's done is done. Of course they make no logical sense, because she's swimming in her ocean of feel…
/r/askMRP17/01/20 06:40 PM
2

'Holding Frame' is the amount of success you have at staying as your Mental Point of Origin, and focusing on what's in YOUR best interest, when you're being challenged with competing Frames. Sometimes, a competing Frame has components which further your best interest and you have to put aside ego to incorporate those components in your own. Sometimes, a clashing of competing Frames may produce a temporary, immediate down-side, but with a huge long-term gain. You actually have to know who you are…
/r/askMRP13/01/20 07:26 PM
5

Exactly. You want to beat this into these thick skulls, but it's a fools errand. In order to internalize Frame, you must reach a critical mass of mastery, confidence, and abundance. There is no 'Easy' button.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/20 10:05 PM
3

I will argue that this description is an incomplete understanding. Frame, out of necessity, is based on self interest and it's in one's self-interest to have healthy social interactions, based in reciprocity. All relationships are transactional, whether overt or covert. And while men must be independent, functional, whole human beings, "no man is an island"... and in order to 'get value', one must actually 'give value'. I adhere to the concept of 'interdependence', defined by Thomas Seager, PhD.…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/20 07:13 PM
3

after a while you aren't paying attention to the pedals, you're just riding Of course. Internalizing a new paradigm of healthy self interest, that is counter to the societal narrative that is constantly beat into you, does not happen overnight... if at all. IMO, Rollo's phrase, "Alpha is a mindset not a demographic" goes to the core of Frame vs Alpha. Behavior and actions flow from mindset, not the other way around. Telling men to find an optimal alpha/beta mix is immediately problematical becau…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/20 06:44 PM
2

I give Rollo a bit of 'poetic license' in his wording and interpret the last sentence, There is only the Man who improves his circumstance for his own benefit, and then, by association and merit, the benefit of those whom he loves and befriends. To fit your description, so we're essentially in agreement. A man in his Frame chooses to share resources with those who add value to his life because it fits his agenda to do so, not because of a covert contact.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/20 02:48 AM
3

I don't disagree, but I will point out that red pill praxeology does not hold a patent on the concept of being one's Mental Point of Origin. It's only those with a measure of red pill understanding that can articulate why Frame & Abundance are integral to being one's Mental Point of Origin. With regards to Alpha vs Beta, Rollo says it best... There is no Alpha with a side of Beta, there is only the man who’s genuine concern is first for himself, the man who prepares and provisions for himself, t…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/20 12:49 AM
23

I'm not a fan of this "balancing alpha & beta" philosophy. I'm also not a fan of contextualizing alpha vs. beta. They're poor container words, turned into cartoon characterizations, for a simple concept that is only hard for a majority of men, because of this present gyno-centric society, to practice and maintain. Keep it simple. Are you in your Frame or not? It is seriously just that simple. No need to worry about whether you're 'alpha' enough... are you operating consistently in your Frame? Ar…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/20 10:49 PM
4

Do you know how many times hack3ge and I have seen this? It plays out exactly the same way, everytime. Add my name to that list. I've seen this exact scenario twice in my life. The first almost unmade me, but I doubled down on the stupid with another woman believing all the BP bullshit on what a woman wants in a man. The second completely smashed my paradygm and found my way to MMSL, TRM and enlightenment. Every clueless sap that showed up at the MMSL forum wanting to know what ILYBINILWY meant …
/r/askMRP06/01/20 11:27 PM
4

This loser is firmly entrenched in a scarcity mindset. They are separated (because he is a royal fuck-up) and he's getting a little trim on the side... Let's not even start analyzing this train wreck with the basic premise that "you don't shit where you eat" as he's incapable of understanding even the basics. Just jump straight to his stbx having a fit... "I'm just going to prostitute myself to this loser, to get his paycheck. All you bitches stay the fuck away. My meal ticket!" And his response…
/r/askMRP10/12/19 10:12 PM
1

The dog's guide to speaking cat.
/r/askMRP06/12/19 05:31 PM
2

OP, you are letting your ego get in the way of working towards your best interests. It's in your own best interest that the stbx has a job and the playing field is leveled towards who would be the best caregiver in the eyes of the court. Do whatever it takes to help her get a job. It's in your best interest to establish a track record of who is providing primary care to your kids. If she moved in with Chad and the kids are home with you, that's enough. You don't have to mend your wounded ego by …
/r/askMRP04/12/19 10:36 PM
3

This is the correct answer. Most people do not understand the meaning of, "No matter where you go, there you are."
/r/askMRP01/12/19 07:11 PM
3

The gnaw. I love it. It’s your body’s way of telling you what you’re doing isn’t in line with what you KNOW you really want to do. Agreed. The dissonance of living an inauthentic life can be very strong. We're told to "trust our gut" but then (a gyno-centric) society shames us for doing so and compels us to act against our own best interest. Fuck that. Post RP, if I've learned anything, every time I have not followed my gut and prioritized myself, I have invited and heaped heartache and disappoi…
/r/askMRP11/10/19 03:01 PM
2

Why is anybody up-voting this guy? Your wife just left you, so she can get railed by other men as you play keyboard alpha here. Your time would be much better spent finding your own Frame and getting your own shit together than giving shitty advise to a man about how being the 'Alpha Provider' is the 'Ticket to Paradise'. There are very few men that can pull it off as an Alpha Provider. Neither you, nor the OP are one of those guys.
/r/askMRP10/10/19 09:31 PM
1

You're missing the most important detail... whose name is on the title and/or mortgage? If her name is on the title, you're a fucking dumb ass. End of story.
/r/askMRP10/10/19 09:18 PM
5

I'm losing my patience with this guy. His victim-hood is dug in like a tick. His ego is insisting on hitting 'rock bottom' before it accepts that this current paradigm is a fucking train wreck.
/r/askMRP10/10/19 04:25 PM
4

There's 'BPD' and then there's "I'm such a beta chump with no boundaries that she's pissed I fooled her into thinking my dick was worthy of her golden vagina." The percentage of people on this planet with actual BPD is in the single digits. This is the 'goto' excuse from men who can not own and handle their shit. The sooner he accepts he's not a victim and starts taking responsibility for his shitty choices, the better his life will become.
/r/askMRP10/10/19 04:11 PM
12

I'm not going to live in limbo. I'm going to move forward with or without her. At this point almost surely without her. FTFY. She adds no value to your life. What the fuck is wrong with you?
/r/askMRP10/10/19 03:30 AM
4

She doesn't want to lose me and asked me not to see other people and she is doing the same. Let me translate this for you... "You stay and pine for me while I get railed by other men. Don't forget to send me all your hard earned each week, to support me and kids who aren't even yours, you fucking loser."
/r/askMRP10/10/19 03:26 AM
10

There is no 'instant' path to internalize an abundance mindset. Additionally, if you're limiting your metric merely to access to sex, then you don't understand the power of abundance and true outcome independence.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/19 06:58 PM
27

And as a result, when she doesn't fuck you -- you don't get to complain, because you've put yourself in that position. You don't get to lock yourself in a cage, and complain about being locked in a cage. This isn't limited to your wife not fucking you. It applies to all aspects of your life. If you choose a path, you don't bitch about how the path sucks, and you stay on that path until it no longer makes sense to do so. You re-evaluate and course correct.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/19 03:45 PM
1

You're still in the anger phase. You shouldn't be making any decisions in the anger phase.
/r/askMRP01/10/19 02:56 AM
8

Shrug Just another feminist rationalizing her ego investments with all the comfortable tropes. There was a time, early in my journey, when I would seek this to fuel my rage, and it served its purpose for a time. I've since moved on to something much more productive... getting what I want, while keeping the collateral damage to a minimum.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/19 05:55 PM
1

Sounds like you still have some work to do on your abundance mentality. You will not be truly outcome independent and your Mental point of Origin until you do. So what if she wants to live on her own? Interdependence (Covey, & 7 Skills...) is a sign of maturity and good life skill to cultivate. If she's looking for 'Jumping on the Carousel' type of fun, wish her well, send her on her way and do NOT root through garbage.
/r/askMRP25/09/19 06:01 PM
1

BUT I think I'm lacking a little blue pill comfort at times. What does this even fucking mean? FFS, Comfort isn't necessarily blue pill and certainly doesn't have to be beta. You give her emotional comfort because it's emotion that fuels her and she needs it for connection. You give her emotional comfort because she adds value to your life and, as a man in your Frame, it pleases you to do so. It's really not that hard.
/r/askMRP19/09/19 02:14 AM
1

Subtle difference. Not subtle at all. Stay and Go plans are exactly the same, Keep and Next are not.
/r/askMRP19/09/19 01:59 AM
1

You may have some personal experience but don't think you've seen it all. My experience vastly differs as I have dealt with young kids growing into adulthood and, regardless of amicability, divorce fucks with kid's heads. At some point, therapy is in their future... it's only a matter of when. For the record, I don't believe in "staying in it for the kids"... a man with children must have and enforce boundaries, if not for himself, then to teach his children by example how to stay whole and aflo…
/r/askMRP15/09/19 02:22 PM
2

Your wife has already done the damage. The OP has also done damage to these kids by giving them a front row seat to his shit show of having no self respect and the resulting inability to protect them. The OP is living in a fantasy if he believes his prior actions have been to keep his kids safe. Their universe is shattered, not safe, and he has an equal share in that collateral damage. His kids will be in therapy for years.
/r/askMRP15/09/19 10:01 AM
1

Stoicism is not a tool. It is an expression of being one's Mental Point of Origin. The modern synonym is 'Outcome Independence'. Otherwise, not a bad write-up.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/19 04:51 PM
3

Excellent! Stoicism is a mindset, and stoic actions are the natural outcome of this mindset. I would argue that Frame (alpha) & Mental point of Origin are mindsets, resulting from internalized mastery, confidence and abundance. Stoicism is the natural expression of those mindsets.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/19 04:40 PM
19

Everything you want in life is on the other side of fear.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/19 12:02 PM
1

How do I know what? Obliviously because I've experienced it personally.
/r/askMRP08/09/19 11:52 PM
3

Do you think we should be making plans for it this early when we don't know what can happen before then? She's not suggesting anything. She instilling dread to keep you in her Frame... and she's succeeding. The 'Stay' and 'Go' plans are the same. Focus and work on you and your Frame. Do what you want.
/r/askMRP05/09/19 04:39 PM
4

I really do love my wife This is the oxytocin talking. Give it time... it will fade and all that will be left is anger at yourself for being a dupe. Oxytocin is a motherfucker for men, because it only flows one way... Men --> Women --> Children. This is as nature intended because, otherwise, men would continue to fuck everything in sight and not invest in their progeny. Just understand that this is your body fucking with your head and you will get through it. Your whole life is ahead of you and …
/r/askMRP29/08/19 07:11 PM
1

What she says is what she's feeling... at that moment.
/r/askMRP29/08/19 06:30 PM
1

Yes, Frame always comes first. So much so, that you can do away with the 'alpha' and 'beta' cartoon cutout placeholders. Alpha is a mindset, not a demographic. So, seep it simple. For any given circumstance, all you need to ask yourself is, "Am I acting as my Mental Point of Origin?"
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/19 05:28 PM
3

Wisdom must be hard fought because you would not value it if there was no cost.
/r/askMRP19/08/19 02:58 PM
3

This is one of thoes juicy life experiences that dont come by that often. This one just sucks. Yup. This education is priceless. It's going to cost you half your shit, but it's still worth it because, if you're the man of value that you say you are, you will make it back and never make this mistake again.
/r/askMRP19/08/19 02:57 PM
3

Oh rest assured your productivity in life will have ripple effects, but they are results of your work on yourself rather than the point of it. What’s always missed is the way you act now is the way you will act in any and all your relationships. This is the lack of progress. With few exceptions, all men have to go through this demanding the red pill to give them the shortcuts to the 'life' they think they deserve. After a year of lurking, finally gathered the courage to post this "can I have a c…
/r/askMRP05/08/19 03:54 PM
5

I made it a point that I needed to fix me. I told her I was going to be 100% selfish from now on and I'm going to get out of life what I want. And you could have done all this without saying a single word. Instead, you chose to blow it all up. Why? I have my own opinions, but you need to figure this out. because you will make zero progress until you do. Do you have the critical thinking skill and introspection to do that? How about you go to OYS and lay it all out why this was a huge fuck-up. Su…
/r/askMRP05/08/19 03:38 PM
1

One of the consequences of putting a bunch of guys in a chatroom together and pointing them all toward becoming alphas Being 'Alpha' is highly over-rated. Be a man of value, as your mental point of origin with a matching frame. Only then will you have the facilities to cogently argue what an Alpha 'looks like'... but by then it will be irrelevant.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/19 02:37 AM
3

You need to take u/HornsOfApathy 's words to heart. You have no real understanding of red pill praxeology, and yet you make an ass of yourself with some adolescent idea of what being an "alpha" looks like. Going 'Rambo' is figuratively punching above your 'dread' weight. You have not earned the passive dread to pull the moves with your wife that you're attempting and it will (and did) blow up in your face spectacularly. This is the purpose of 'STFU' for the newly unplugged... so you don't fuckin…
/r/askMRP13/07/19 10:58 PM
2

Take "alpha" out of your vocabulary. You are not far enough on your journey to understand that it's just a placeholder for 'Frame'. Before you act or speak, go through this checklist... Am I in my frame, or not? Am I my Mental Point of Origin or not? Am I maintaining a mindset of abundance or not? Am I behaving authentically and owning what I want or not? Am I improving myself at least 0.1% everyday or not? Focus on this and the rest will come.
/r/askMRP13/07/19 10:44 PM
2

Did I trigger you? If you believe that phrase is exclusively blue pill, then you're either woefully ignorant or intellectually lazy. No where does it say, "Stay put", but it does speak to Frame and Mental Point of Origin, and more importantly abundance. Opportunity and success is less where you find it and more how YOU make it. The phrase is a shortcut to understanding... but as always, you do you.
/r/askMRP10/07/19 02:22 PM
1

The grass is always greener until you go to a new place and it sucks worse than where you're at. Exactly. The grass is greener where YOU water it.
/r/askMRP09/07/19 08:30 PM
1

Yeah, this is not at all what we were doing back in 2017. That vid looks like a steaming pile of LARP-ing to me. Boarding Party Training with a broken hand? Bro, that's brutal. FWIW, we let the puddle jumpers, aka Coast Guard, handle that shit. FIL is a retired CG captain. Skippered the big ships... well, Cutters are big for the CG. Whenever I want to get his goat, I call the CG puddle jumpers. Works every time.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/19 05:27 PM
1

Hadn't seen this... Didn't need 45 sec. Not interested in what they're selling.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/19 05:12 PM
2

Meh, for me it is the continued association with Anthony that has the jury still out for Hunter. Agreed. Hence my reference to the 'turf war'. Just watching to see what value he adds to the sub. It doesn’t change the fact that when you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas. Character is who you associate with. Again, agreed.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/19 05:39 PM
5

I hear you. I don't have a problem with red pill coaching. I have a problem with purple pill coaching, which should not be confused with "purity of purpose". Rian is solid. He's applying red pill praxeology to build men as their mental points of origin. The jury is still out with Hunter. The timing of him returning to MRP and the current manosphere turf war has my spidey-sense tingling, so I am paying attention to what he does. Give him rope, and see what he does with it. Time will tell.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/19 03:24 PM
1

I pulled that 'tidbit' out because it caught my eye and I don't agree with it. Have you read Rollo's essay on why men trying to be both is not believable to women?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/19 06:21 PM
2

I agree with others that this is all good stuff, but you need to be very careful with this... And not because of the hypergamous alpha and beta shit. It's because she never learned that they can be the SAME PERSON. The harsh reality is that they can't believe it because they're not wired for it. This is The Myth of the 'Good Guy' Hypergamy tells them AF/BB can NOT exist in the same man. This is the source from which Shit Testing flows. The more a man tries to be both, the more intense the testin…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/19 03:21 PM
1

STFU = Don't be unattraactive
/r/askMRP27/06/19 05:52 PM
2

This feels more like a humble-brag than an actual question... you've been here long enough to know the answer. It. Doesn't. Matter. If you're solidly in your Frame, then shit tests are just part of the landscape when living with a woman and your bandwidth has better things to focus on... like your mission. This is RP 101. A woman is constantly testing because Hypergamy dictates she must. When hypergamy is satisfied, the pussy tingles, and fucking commences. Passing a shit test is like a cookie f…
/r/askMRP24/06/19 09:05 PM
3

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
/r/askMRP18/06/19 07:46 PM
2

I want to salvage this, or fail trying. And this is why you fail. You CAN NOT salvage your marriage because that requires two engaged, whole people. You don't even have one whole person, how the fuck do think you're gonna do this? What is within your power is to salvage yourself! How about you focus on that?
/r/askMRP18/06/19 03:53 AM
3

Ian is pure gold.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/19 10:45 PM
1

The next step after 'Overt Communication' is 'Ceasing Communication'. When a woman stops shit testing you, it's because her hypergamic doubt has been satisfied and you've been deemed not worthy.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/19 10:41 PM
4

Here's my worldview and how I view sex. If she anybody has a different view, that's fine but it's not going to shake mine. When you internalize this, then you have Frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/19 08:37 PM
1

Alpha = Frame. Frame =/= Alpha.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/19 08:33 PM
3

Agreed. My experience under similar circumstance is, "kids will always gravitate towards the saner parent." This isn't a competition and worrying about what your ex is doing is a distraction at best. Living in your Frame as your MPoO, owning your shit like a boss, and being that lighthouse in the raging storm is what kids need and will be drawn to.
/r/askMRP11/06/19 05:11 PM
7

...so you’d advise him to stay with a woman he’s not attracted to anymore because otherwise he’s an asshole? And you've determined all that from one post with no context? Projecting much? You autistic fucks want TRP to be be explicitly black or white. Neither life or TRP work that way. He's an asshole because this has zero to do with attraction. He's embarrassed and gives way too many fucks about what other people think. He's a weak beta with no Frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/19 03:39 PM
5

Well, you got one thing right, being an asshole is a life choice.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/19 03:24 PM
1

You are punching way above your weight. Until you have a solid frame, you have no business even thinking about dread. Become a man that other men envy and other women want to fuck. THEN, and only then will you have any bandwidth to spare... but, of course, you wont have to.
/r/askMRP06/06/19 07:49 PM
2

You don't punish it. You ignore it.
/r/askMRP06/06/19 07:42 PM
3

Her relationship with your son is not your problem to solve. She doesn't have to love (or even like) him, but she does have to respect that he is an equal priority in your life, as is the kid that you share with her. Her behavior is predicable as she has no maternal connection, sees him only as a drain on her resources, and expresses her frustration through feelz. Treat them like you would any other emotional outburst... in your Frame.
/r/askMRP03/06/19 04:19 PM
1

How long did it take you to turn it around? How far into dread did you go? 2-12 levels are easier for me than frame. What level of dread were you on when you turned it around and how long have you been married? And this is why you fail.
/r/askMRP28/05/19 03:29 PM
8

There is no long game, there is only your journey. There is no Alpha with a side of Beta, there is only the man who’s genuine concern is first for himself, the man who prepares and provisions for himself, the man who maintains Frame to the point of arrogance because that’s who he is and what he genuinely merits. There is only the Man who improves his circumstance for his own benefit, and then, by association and merit, the benefit of those whom he loves and befriends.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/19 02:23 AM
2

Understatement? It's a bit more 'approachable' than what I specifically do for a living. How the RP, and re-prioritizing myself, put me on the path to the life I now enjoy is a much more interesting story.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/19 04:06 PM
2

Yup. As an Electrical Engineer by trade, I've often used, "isolating the signal from the noise" to describe building frame and becoming your MPoO. Apparently, great minds do think alike.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/19 02:23 PM
7

You will find within you the mastery of your mind, that beguiling beast of a creature that has martyred you for years. You will find satisfaction. You will find peace. You will learn to conquer your mind and understand that it is but one part amongst many, a piece of a larger whole, and you may even learn to turn down the noise, and tune the radio to one station instead of listening to them all at the same time, drowning out your mission and your vision with so much rumbling in the background. T…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/19 08:25 PM
3

That's exactly how it reads to me. If he feels the need to create some overt dread to get some temporary 'peak performance'... it's his life, but call it for what it is. Bluntly, it's just laziness on the OP's part. If he's not getting the desire sex he wants, it's because he's not putting the effort into keeping his wife physically, emotionally & intellectually stimulated. Women need the rollercoaster. Full stop. Nothing of lasting quality will ever come from minimal effort.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/19 04:36 PM
5

All sexual encounters are about creating opportunity and all women know this. A woman will not isolate with you if she knows sex is not on the table. If a woman in a committed relationship goes to venues which create opportunities for sex to happen, then you have your answer... She must never hold a position higher than 'plate'. This is 'LTR Vetting 101'.
/r/askMRP15/05/19 03:51 PM
1

Yall think that the work to improve can actually fix the marriage? Or is it wasted on her and just improve for the next chapter in life? We don't fix the marriage, we provide the man with the tools to fix himself. When a high value, abundant, authentic man is living on his terms, a marriage/relationship is nothing more than a perk for a well-executed life. Enforce unenforceable boundaries, or realize you created unenforceable boundaries create realistic ones and try again? You enforce the bounda…
/r/askMRP14/05/19 07:56 PM
2

It's as simple as it sounds. It doesn't matter if you're staying or you're going, always work on you. It doesn't matter if your marriage is salvageable, always work on you. It doesn't matter if your wife chooses to follow your lead or not, always work on you. Always work on you because there is nothing more powerful than an abundance-minded man who has value, options, and knows it. There is no Alpha with a side of Beta, there is only the man who’s genuine concern is first for himself, the man wh…
/r/askMRP14/05/19 07:41 PM
1

Given that libido is directly correlated to testosterone, it shouldn't be surprising that women do not initiate as men do. I can count the number of times my wife has initiated and have fingers left over, but I have never been star-fished, hate-fucked, let alone refused.
/r/askMRP14/05/19 06:40 PM
1

Given his situation, I would argue NMMNG and WISNIFG are first, then TRM Year 1. You can't understand Frame when you have no boundaries.
/r/askMRP14/05/19 06:30 PM
1

Just because she has made and now resides in her own personal hell does not mean that you have to join her. GTFO.
/r/askMRP14/05/19 06:24 PM
1

Start with "When I say no, I feel guilty". It's in that Sidebar place.
/r/askMRP14/05/19 06:21 PM
3

Examples like your wife are why we say, "The 'stay' plan is the same as the 'go' plan." You can not fix your wife, for a host of reasons, and going to multiple couple's therapists is Einstein's Definition of Insanity... doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. First and foremost, fix yourself and nobody else. Why? Because you are worthy. At some level, you believe this because why else are you here? You want your life to be better than the present hell it is. Personal ac…
/r/askMRP14/05/19 06:17 PM
3

Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Tell fear, "Fuck You!"
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/19 02:57 PM
2

No doubt, some look at JP that way, but everyone is a messenger. You take the parts of the message you can use and throw away the rest.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/19 03:08 PM
31

I quit thinking in terms of "Alpha vs Beta" some time ago. It's nothing more than a distraction. Am I in my frame, or not? Am I my Mental Point of Origin or not? Am I maintaining a mindset of abundance or not? Am I behaving authentically and owning what I want or not? Am I improving myself at least 0.1% everyday or not? Focus on what's important. There will come a time in the not so distant future where you will no longer ask yourself these questions because you are living it.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/19 02:53 PM
2

Excellent response. These guys fixated about happiness make me want to 2x4 them upside the head. Happiness is not a goal, it's an occasional reward you receive when you're owning your shit. It's the satisfaction of knowing that you're on the correct path towards exercising full responsibility for yourself. The burning question for me at this stage of my life has been, "Why has TRP had such a profound impact on my life?" It's just about sexual strategy, right? Yes, and infinitely more. Success in…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/19 08:30 PM
2

This is why the 'Stay Plan' can be preferable to the 'Go Plan'. It's okay to say "I don't know", but until you do, use your wife to hone your steel. One can not internalize a strong frame and Mental Point of Origin without it being poked and prodded. As the saying goes, "No matter where you go, there you are." If you go into the world with an untested frame, you will likely find your self right back to where you started.
/r/askMRP25/03/19 07:45 PM
2

Lesson #1 is what I was describing in previous threads. You do not pursue happiness, as it is not an 'end state' to be achieved. You pursue a meaningful, well-executed life and happiness is the reward. Happiness is the feeling of congruence from being one's mental point of origin and living in a mindset of abundance. Happiness is the indicator that you are on the correct path towards maximal responsibility for yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/19 06:56 PM
1

Great post, brother. As a BP chump, every relationship that I 'looked for', whether it was believing "this is what adults do" or looking for 'legitimacy' as a single father, ended in disaster. The woman that is with me now, I wasn't looking for and did not pursue. We are together because she complements my life and adds value every day... and I do the same. A high value man who lives a meaningful and well-executed life (would he live any other way?) does not pursue relationships, or happiness fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/19 07:52 PM
3

Not even close. Suffering is not moments of pressure and discomfort. At best, it's an extreme over-simplification. At worst, it's the naivety of one who has lived under the most fortunate of circumstances. Happiness is also not pleasure. 'Happiness' is a misnomer. The closest analogy I would use is 'contentment'. Happiness can never be a pursuit because it is fleeting and unsustainable. Contentment from a meaningful life of continual self improvement, and enjoyment of its rewards, is the closest…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/19 06:13 PM
5

I get your point, but happiness is a false metric. Life is suffering with brief moments of pleasure. You alleviate the suffering by pursuing a purposeful life which results in maximal responsibility, and that responsibility begins and ends with (and to) one's self. Happiness is not a pursuit, it is the reward for a well-executed life.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/19 05:11 PM
2

If she's truly remorseful, she'll comply and start to get nervous about her future with you. If she is not remorseful, she will begin looking for an exit. When you are your Mental Point of Origin, the question of whether she's remorseful or not becomes irrelevant. When you're not, you have more important things to do... again, it's irrelevant. Focus on you.
/r/askMRP19/02/19 11:36 PM
3

How does OYS apply in this situation? Serious question. I feel like I'm doing that shit You're trying to use the red-pill to solve blue pill goals. Forget about how you thinking you're handling your shit... this detail alone shows that you're still a fucking disaster in the things that actually matter. A significant component of OYS is mindset. As Rollo says, "Alpha is a mindset, not a demographic". Owning your shit is knowing who you are, what you merit, pursuing what you want, and being unapol…
/r/askMRP19/02/19 11:12 PM
2

Societal norms and my behavior for the previous 7 years reinforce her unwillingness to submit. Submit to what? You are still way too deep into her Frame. You are living your life, pursuing your passion, and owning your shit. She either comes along for the ride or she doesn't. Full stop. She swears it was just that and she didn't fuck him A woman does not isolate with a man for chaste walks and chats and a man does not pursue a woman for friendship. Of course they fucked. If she doesn't get onboa…
/r/askMRP19/02/19 10:58 PM
2

Limerance = dopamine. We all know know the RP wisdom of women needing the 'rollercoaster' and a man's responsibility to feed her a steady supply. So sparked the question, "what if women are more sensitive to dopamine?" Easy Google search... Women More Sensitive to Addictive Properties of Cocaine Short version, Estrogen intensifies the brain's dopamine reward pathway. Boom.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/19 06:31 PM
2

Good effort, Stoney. You covered all the salient points, but should a man care if his cheating whore of a wife is remorseful? Expending bandwidth on "Is she sorry she hurt you or sorry she got caught?"... It keeps you out of your frame. It's time that could be better spent focusing on your best interests. You already know the fucking answer. The question is ultimately irrelevant. As one who spent a short period with the Industrial Reconciliation Complex... She is incapable of appreciating a 'gif…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/19 09:55 PM
2

That article is hilariously predictable... But I do get your point. Do not mistake my understanding of human nature for cynicism. A bonus from fully realizing and internalizing my value has been a brutal exorcism of my scarcity-based cynicism... I see the world for exactly what it is and I now thrive in leveraging it. That said, I will ponder on your alternate perspective, my friend.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/19 01:06 AM
8

I had first-hand experience with that '1-in-5' statistic. While it was a painful time, it was necessitous to my 'unplugging', which was unarguably the most important event in my life. Every good thing in my life now is a direct result of swallowing TRP. For all the hand-wringing & clucking, those numbers will only go further south. 'Our' fem-centric society will violently avoid any conversation which suggests women have any responsibility or that men deserve what they get. The concept of not "sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/19 11:12 PM
3

The obvious answer is, "I'd take care of myself like any fully functionaing adult". That would be the most correct answer, but it's not the one she needs. I agree with /u/RuleZeroDAD that this is a comfort test. Women thrive on validation... you don't have to look any further than their Facebook and Instagram accounts to know this is true. She's asking for validation from her mate, but don't make the terminal mistake of giving it to her as a gf would. Acta Non Verba.
/r/askMRP10/02/19 07:16 PM
3

Your success in life (or lack thereof) is directly attributed to two things... the choices you make and the consequences of those choices. There are no such things as 'accidents' and you are not a 'victim'. The sooner you get this through your thick head, the quicker your life becomes easier by orders of magnitude.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/19 05:13 AM
5

Attention and validation is a woman's main currency. They're biologically wired for it and direct attempts to manage/control it is a DLV, at best. You judge a woman by how she spends that currency.
/r/askMRP06/02/19 04:18 PM
3

It might as well been real because it sure as fuck felt like one. Part of sorting my shit out was working with a therapist... an old, retired Methodist minister. It started as 'Couples Counseling', but it only took a few sessions before he 'fired' the stbx. We discussed & agreed on many RP truths because, ironically, most of it is just common sense once you open yourself to it. One of those truths, along side his wisdom by way of Rolling Stone lyrics, was, It's okay to say, "I don't know". Littl…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/19 05:27 AM
26

As a man who has lived this, trying to 'reconcile' as I was absorbing TRP, I fully endorse this post. Every man must follow his own path, and while there is some value to using your STBX as the stone to hone your steel, from my experience and the testimony of others here... walking away is inevitable. When Mental Point of Origin, abundance, and internalizing your value reaches the critical point, and accepting that any kind of parity is unachievable, I guarantee it will be an epiphanal moment. M…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/19 06:03 PM
3

Drama is just the expression of emotion. As you well know, it's the air women breathe. Manufactured drama needn't be negative. Women want the roller coaster. If you're not leading by providing a positive conduit for women to express their emotions in a way that builds connection and maintains sexual tension, then they will create their own... and it wont be the kind you want.
/r/askMRP15/01/19 04:00 PM
2

A girl's got to feed her hamster and GNOs, dancing is a pretty harmless way for a post-wall woman to get some male attention. Bear in mind, women need the roller coaster. If you're not doing your job, they will create it themselves... and it will be drama that you don't want. If you're giving her the tingles, then she has no need to take it beyond the simple dopamine hit that it is. Bottom-line, you either chose your mate wisely... or you did not. The fact that you're writing this shows that you…
/r/askMRP12/01/19 05:26 PM
7

Confront her for what? That she's a woman, pursuing her biological imperative? You had to 'confirm' a well documented, biological truth. Again, for what? Your fragile ego. This is a simple case of, "If you can't handle the truth, then don't ask the question". There is no having "fun" with this. It has no value towards you achieving your goals. Focus on you, owning your shit, becoming a high value man, and the only question that will become important is, "does she still add value to my life". Whe…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/01/19 10:33 PM
1

They can't separate the concepts of women "wanting the attention of other men" vs "isolating with another man". One is just female nature and the other is a bright line that must have consequences. If you have to explain this to her: You're not a high value man with options. You chose poorly.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/18 06:29 PM
1

Me too, engineer here Lol, RP Warrior and Engineer. Lethal combination. What discipline?
/r/askMRP09/12/18 03:22 AM
2

Okay, so you gave some arbitrary 3 month deadline/ultimatum. So What. If you had read WISNIFG, or anything else in the sidebar, you would know that you can change your mind with no explanations. If 'staying' still has value for you, or even is you just don't know yet, then fucking stay, STFU and keep working on you. This is what being your MPoO looks like. Like others said, if you have to ask, then your Frame is for shit. Get back to work.
/r/askMRP03/12/18 03:09 AM
2

The 'senior'? You sure?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/18 11:07 PM
2

There are two schools of thought: It's infinitely easier to start over with a solid RP frame in a few relationship than it is to repair the damage done in the existing one. The 'Stay' and the 'Go' plan are the same. Work on you and your your LTR to test and strengthen your frame. Only you know you. Do the calculus, move forward and don't look back. When you make your decision, don't be a whiney-assed bitch about it. Own it.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/18 10:59 PM
1

You're asking the wrong question and your lack understanding is why you will ultimately fail. Your question should be, "How do become a high value man and gain the perk of being enthusiastically fucked by the abundance of women that will be readily available to me?" Now that we have the right question, the answer is simple... Read the Sidebar. After you've OYS and become a high value man, then your original question will become laughingly irrelevant. ​
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/18 10:44 PM
4

You're supporting her family and she's not fucking you. At best, you are just Beta Bux chump. If you know anything about the Red Pill, let that roll around in your head a bit and then explain to me how this doesn't piss you the fuck off? You're being used and you won't do anything about it. Your lack of abundance is depressing. If your value is so low that you think she's the absolute best you can do, then you're made for each other. Enjoy your slow-motion train wreck. Come back with your inevit…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/18 10:23 PM
5

If you are a high value man, solidly in your frame, as your mental point of origin... You don't have a strategy for LTRs. you have a mission in which everything else is secondary. There is no Alpha with a side of Beta. You don't create dread. You are dread incarnate. You don't neglect the LTR, you prioritize yourself. LTRs are a good exercise because they provide a metric for a newly RP'd man on his journey to determine how well he's internalized an Alpha Mindset. Use your LTR as the anvil to ha…
/r/askMRP28/11/18 08:14 PM
1

Never be somebody's Plan B.
/r/askMRP13/11/18 05:57 PM
2

Dude, you've been here how long and you still don't get it. If you can't handle the most basic of shit testing, go back to MRP 101 and just STFU until you actually have a frame. Why are you losing your shit over laundry? Is your ego still that fragile? A woman's emotions are the air that she breaths. They ebb and flow like the tide and they come like waves crashing on a rocky beach. Emotional highs & lows are what feeds a woman's soul. If you're not giving her the drama she needs, then she will …
/r/askMRP13/11/18 04:45 PM
2

Yes, it was roughly 4 months from confirming my ex's infidelity. I started my RP journey at MMSL a couple months before, when I only suspected something was up. I did not come to MRP until roughly 2 years ago, from disgust of the MMSL forum being over-run by women and Athol jumping the shark. I spent some time at MMSL trying to carry it forward until it became just too hard. With regards to the 'switch flipping'... Self-confidence in my ability to gain mastery and succeed in whatever I pursued, …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/18 11:15 PM
11

Preach it, Brother. He's still in the purple-pilled, "using red pill praexology to solve failed blue-pilled goals" (also known as Bargaining) stage. A man can flounder there for years because those blue-pilled ego investment are powerful shit. I was stuck there for four months with my co-worker banging ex, convinced that I was executing the "Stay/Go" plan. The Stay/Go plan is fine as long as you're not using it as a distraction to own your shit. That mental masturbation will seriously fuck with …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/18 11:11 PM
1

Rational response from The Federalist.com
/r/TheRedPill05/11/18 09:09 PM
1

Gay pride parade?!? Damn! Yeah, wanted to be there but had work obligations that I couldn't reschedule. I will block off the time for next year.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/18 01:38 AM
2

I agree that low N-count can become a search for the proverbial unicorn. Nowadays, you're lucky if you can find one <10. Otherwise, it doesn't sound like we're disagreeing.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/18 07:48 PM
3

This is a key part of vetting for an LTR and why red pill awareness is crucial for any long-term success. This is also why a low N-count is so important. She will always be comparing you against a previous man's 'turn'. If you are not a woman's alpha high score, you will have no margin for error. If you do not immediately establish yourself as her high score, her hypergamic doubt will always be fully engaged and the shit testing will be relentless. Any hole you dig yourself into will become a pi…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/18 06:55 PM
3

I'm going to give you an alternative perspective. The 'Stay Plan' is the same as the 'Go Plan'. Regardless as whether you're with her or not, you must work on you. Having her as the 'sharpening stone' to hone your Frame and MPoO does add a measure of value to your path and your mission. This woman WILL continue to test your Frame, she's doing it now with all the strong emotion. Use her as the metric to your progress. Contrary to the other voices, there's no urgency here and you have the better h…
/r/askMRP29/10/18 12:27 AM
5

Boundaries... if you're using words, then you're doing it wrong. You maintain boundaries by maximizing value and minimizing drama. Have something they want that is not given away freely and put up with zero bullshit. If you are owning your shit, then you can give zero fucks with impunity. The Myth of the Good Guy... There is no Alpha with a side of Beta, there is only the man who’s genuine concern is first for himself, the man who prepares and provisions for himself, the man who maintains Frame …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/18 07:35 PM
1

My approach is simple. Time is the most valuable thing I have. I reward good behavior with my time. Exactly. If you're 'enforcing' boundaries with words, then you're doing it wrong.
/r/askMRP25/10/18 04:54 PM
9

All of this only proves to me that women lack compassion. First, you say this like it's a bad thing. It's not. It's just one piece of the puzzle to what made human beings the pinnacle species on the planet. It's an amoral survival trait (cue war brides). Women can not become dependent on any one man, so becoming attached is a liability. Learn to deal. Second, women have plenty of compassion, just not for you. Women love, just not the way men want them to.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/18 06:53 PM
2

Woah! Hold on there hoss! You're getting an understanding which will serve you now, but you still don't have the full nuance. While your path to self improvement and enlightenment is your own, going Monk Mode in your marriage or divorcing due to a false sense of urgency misses a key methodology to 'The stay plan is the same as the go plan'... using your possibly STBX as the stone to hone your Frame and MPoO. Unless your marriage is an absolute shit show, using your wife's shit testing and your r…
/r/askMRP24/10/18 05:17 PM
6

you could tell her to knock it off but what is that saying really? It's telling her, under no uncertain terms, that despite his perceived higher SMV, she has the upper-hand in the relationship. OP needs to get it through his thick skull that his objective SMV does not mean shit when his 'Saved Ho' is ostensibly convinced hers is higher.
/r/askMRP24/10/18 04:51 PM
2

Removing time and attention does nothing because you’re not high value. What are you removing? She could care less. I agree with u/MrChad_Thunderock, but there is some context to removing attention. There is shit testing and there is contempt. What you're getting right now is pure contempt. Your wife's hypergamic doubt has been satisfied and you're not worthy. You're not even worthy of shit testing. That's the hole you've dug yourself into. She may be fucking you, but, as Chad said, she's pissed…
/r/askMRP15/10/18 05:24 PM
1

I could never figure out WHY she always accused me of cheating There's a name for this, it's called projection
/r/askMRP14/10/18 06:18 PM
1

unless someone did something really dumb or kidnaps the kids Lol, ex-wife did this... it didn't go well for her. Alimony will be a wash. Push for 50/50 custody and child support will be too. In some states, if any of the 200k was used towards the marriage, then it's all up for grabs. OP, is definitely not in divorce rape territory.
/r/askMRP14/10/18 02:42 PM
2

Yes. You submit to a play of strong emotion like this, the hole you put yourself in will be so deep you will never climb out. It's done. And enough with the "stay together for the kids" shit. Was she thinking of the well-being of the kids when she decided to nuke the marriage from orbit? Regardless of their age, the kids are watching all of this. What role model are you going to be?
/r/askMRP14/10/18 02:37 PM
2

I can not up-vote this enough.
/r/askMRP14/10/18 02:32 PM
6

Sure, she wants to give input, but she doesn't want to be held responsible for the final decision. My wife has told me flat out, this is why women do not want to lead. In the absence of a leader (you), they will fill that roll, but they're not happy about it and will end being resentful and bitter. Being passive is unattractive. Don't be unattractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/18 08:40 PM
1

Give less fucks about she's responding. Your journey is about you and you alone. You have only one judge and jury... The Mirror.
/r/askMRP23/09/18 05:01 PM
2

This is a man who has been in hell, climbed out of the abyss, now sees life as the gift that it is, and is wasting no time. Would be interesting to know which came first... TRP or getting clean?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/18 02:34 PM
15

You're the prize. She does not deserve your presence or your attention. Give your time to somebody who is worthy of it... you, kid, friend. Just not her.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/18 03:46 AM
1

You will find no one here that thinks couples therapy is worth a damn but there is value to your wife joining you occasionally in your sessions. It will help your therapist understand the dynamic in your marriage and gauge your coping mechanisms when stressed.
/r/askMRP10/09/18 01:38 AM
2

NEVER, EVER put your career/passion/mission after a woman. Any woman! She is incapable of appreciating (or understanding) your sacrifice. If anything, she will see it as a huge DLV that you would prioritize her over yourself. She does not belong to you, it's just your turn. Why would you make a decision that will affect the rest of your life over a woman who may not be with you next month? Your post reeks of scarcity. Frankly, you have no business being in an LTR while living in a scarcity minds…
/r/askMRP31/08/18 03:47 PM
5

As a RP aware man who lives a passion filled life, is peaking in his career at 58, and has everything he wants materially, sexually, and spiritually, I can say retrospectively without a doubt that early framing of my behavior as alpha or beta was more hindrance than help. Of course, early in my journey I framed everything as alpha or beta moves, as most everybody newly unplugged does. What I came to realize was that juvenile attempts to mimic somebody else’s definition of alpha behavior doesn’t …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/18 03:15 AM
2

I think the ultimate overarching question is: Are you getting what you want? If you are your Mental Point of Origin, any effort which is not resulting in "what you want" will be naturally discarded and replaced with an effort which does.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/18 09:31 PM
3

I often wish we would do away Alpha/Beta references here because the new guys interpret it as behaviors to chase and becomes a distraction from what is truly important. It's just not that hard. Alpha = Frame = Mental Point of Origin. Alpha/Beta behaviors comes from mindset. For any given circumstance, are you in your Frame or not? Are you your Mental Point of Origin or not? And as you would expect, it's very contextual. You can be a ruthless 'Alpha' at work and a pathetic 'Beta' with your wife. …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/18 09:25 PM
3

And how can you not see that is deliberate? She's chipping away at your frame and it's going to be a death by a thousand cuts because she's insidiously creating one 'New normal' after another. "I don't understand why you're so unreasonable by not doing this one, simple thing". You give up ground and then it's 'rinse and repeat'. Next thing you know, those boundaries you set are miles away and you have no idea how you got to where you are.
/r/askMRP20/08/18 03:32 AM
5

I don’t know about you but I don’t let my wife date her ex-BF’s or other men period. Going off with her ex while on a trip should be at minimum a demotion to instant plate status. You say you "got it", but I don't think you do. Let this sink in... She's going on a date with (and likely fuck) her ex. And she's doing it exclusively to fuck with your head. At a minimum she should be demoted to plate before she leaves on her trip and let her sweat bullets on what YOU'RE doing while she's gone, not t…
/r/askMRP20/08/18 03:23 AM
1

Get off reddit and take some fucking action. This is actionable advise. Most of these guys are in 'analysis paralysis' and are still in research mode when they should be owning their shit and getting it done. This mental masturbation is nothing more than a buffer to scarcity and fear. OP knows more than enough to act. Never let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good enough'. Trust your gut and fucking act.
/r/askMRP17/08/18 08:37 PM
1

His wife killed the puppy already Unless I've missed some updates, I disagree. OP's wife has no idea what's coming, when OP returns state-side. Has no clue that OP has a front-row seat to her shenanigans while testing a new potential branch. Her hamster is providing cover for her hypergamy under the 'Trial Separation' script, where she gets to fuck other men on his dime and go back if the branch swing isn't solid. She thinks she has the upper hand, so why would she divorce him?
/r/askMRP17/08/18 08:06 PM
2

In the absence of respect, fear is a very good motivator.
/r/askMRP16/08/18 03:25 PM
1

No doubt the OP has insecurities, but I'm inclined (for now) to take him at his word that he doesn't want to fund a DB wife gearing up for a branch swing. OP is enough in his frame and covert contract avoidant to recognize that in his marriage's present state, he will never get to 'enjoy' those store-bought boobs.
/r/askMRP06/08/18 06:49 PM
1

'No' is a complete sentence.
/r/askMRP06/08/18 06:32 PM
2

Never stick your dick into crazy. They're an amazing lay but the drama that comes after will make you sorry that you did.
/r/askMRP06/08/18 06:29 PM
1

He's asking dogs to interpret cat language for him. Dogs don't give a shit what cats say.
/r/askMRP02/08/18 01:51 PM
1

Scarcity and complacency.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/18 05:39 PM
1

It's all just LARP-ing until you internalize abundance.
/r/askMRP01/08/18 03:30 PM
2

Yes, OP, do this now.
/r/askMRP01/08/18 03:22 PM
1

Why is it so hard for men to grasp that women are a fungible resource? It's a rhetorical question...
/r/askMRP01/08/18 03:08 PM
3

When every hill is the hill they want to die on, then it is time. Yep. Some guy on AskMRP was asking "when do you know". This sums it up very well.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/18 04:16 PM
5

No. It will work for YOU. You obsess and have become bitter about sex with your wife because deep down you know you don't deserve it. You projecting your anger with yourself to her. Being a confident, abundant, high value man who owns his shit and makes no apologies for who he is and what he wants is nothing more than a realization of your innate Burden of Performance. The reason you are a hollow shell of the man you once were is not because your wife wont fuck you. Think about that. Men are bui…
/r/askMRP25/07/18 02:47 PM
1

This is your paradigm, where your best interests are prioritized. Frame Mental Point of Origin As you would expect, because they are the most important, they are also the most difficult to internalize. This is where you want to be. From Rollo's The Myth of the 'Good' Guy There is no Alpha with a side of Beta, there is only the man who’s genuine concern is first for himself, the man who prepares and provisions for himself, the man who maintains Frame to the point of arrogance because that’s who h…
/r/askMRP23/07/18 08:37 PM
6

From my observations, there are two parts to a successful marriage. An alpha man who is confident in his mastery of the world, owns his shit like a boss, and understands the nature of women. A woman with high self esteem, healthy self worth, strong moral & ethical values, and understands the nature of men. There needs to be a measure of both. I take my parents as anecdotal case study. Papa is as blue-pill invested as they come, but has been a natural alpha all his life. Retired engineer from Boe…
/r/askMRP20/07/18 06:30 PM
7

We had another similar one... A thousand 'atta-boys' are wiped out by one 'aw shit'.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/18 05:14 PM
16

Agreed. No doubt that he knows shit can go south with an impulsive 3yo in milliseconds and constant, close proximity is required. He entrusted the safety of his kid to complete strangers and they called him on it. He's just incapable of admitting it. He has learned nothing. In the Navy, we called this 'Dead Mouse Principle'. As the story was told, many years back a Naval Hospital (Portsmouth, I believe) had their annual inspection. The week long event was going well and the hospital was shaping …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/18 04:18 PM
10

I don't think times are all that different... MSM has just become very adept at convincing us what we should be afraid of. But yeah, leaving a 3 yo alone like that borders on criminal neglect. OP, what the actual fuck were you thinking?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/18 03:32 AM
5

Given that 9% of the adult population have BPD, it's more likely that you have just been a shitty captain and her well deserved contempt is your reward. Blaming your wife's behavior and your failures on BPD is a pernicious from of victim hood which absolves you of responsibility and is a distraction from you focusing on the person who has your best interests in mind and will make positive changes in your life... you. Purge that narrative now. You will read vets often say 'The Stay Plan is the sa…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/18 08:52 PM
1

So, what you're saying here is your wife is aggravating you because she's a woman and not a man. Women typically prioritize feelings over rationality and, as a result, will have very differing narratives, agendas and priorities. Left to their own devices, behaviors that are irresponsible to you will be completely reasonable to them. Contrary to RP popular wisdom, women do have agency, but it's folly to assume that her agency will align with yours. There's a reason why we say to treat a woman lik…
/r/askMRP17/07/18 04:43 PM
2

I’m sure there would be a fuck storm waiting to happen after that but I could deal with it. The fact that you mention this means you give way too many fucks... if you were any further into her frame, your head would be up her ass. Pull it out. It's not your job to manage her. Consequences for her bad behavior are hers to own. She misses a meeting, you make unilateral decisions, done, no further discussion. If she has a shit fit, you say, "your poor attitude has given me a lot to think about" and…
/r/askMRP11/07/18 04:54 AM
1

You're not talking about 'Morality', you're talking about 'Integrity'. Integrity is what you do when people aren't watching. Integrity is being honest with yourself about who you are, what you want, and acting accordingly. Integrity is owning your shit. Integrity is is being cognitively, emotionally, and spiritually congruent. Integrity is for you and you alone, because it is the direct metric of you acting in your own best interest. Acting with integrity requires confidence, esteem, mastery, ab…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/18 10:09 PM
6

All the advise you're getting about being the man that other women want to fuck is spot on but you need to get through your thick skull that she will never want you the way that you want her to want you. Not. Going. To. Happen. You can have your shit completely together and you will always have two things going against you... Familiarity and Testosterone. Women want the roller coaster and the 'unpredictable' is roller coaster crack to them. Marriage is the epitome of comfort, familiarity, and pr…
/r/askMRP09/07/18 03:53 PM
3

Of course every time you behave like a sovereign human being and inject a healthy measure of self prioritization she loses her shit. Of course every time you start to live within your frame she uses strong emotion to knock you back into hers. Kid, this is NOT a MRP thing. This is a you not being your Mental Point of Origin thing. This is a you having no fucking boundaries thing. This is a you being her bitch thing.
/r/askMRP05/07/18 03:24 PM
2

I put was on Xanax after ex's cheating, my finding TRP, and walking away. After doing a hard reset on my life and getting my shit straight again, it took me three tries (and as many months) to get off Xanax. Strangely, the 3rd try was ridiculously easy... still ponder that on occasion. Anyway, ignore the fuckers here who have no clue what it's like to become addicted to a med that was prescribed you by a man you trust and the herculean effort it takes to become whole again.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/18 03:03 PM
2

I've been Red Pilled for going on 6 years and life is about as good as it gets... and I'm still smashing old, dug-in ego investments, buffers,etc as I encounter them. Some of this shit runs deep and I'm no longer surprised. Now I just chuckle as I flush them like the steaming turds they are. Damn skippy it's a process... and a gratifying one at that!
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/18 03:37 AM
5

You had explicit and implicit permission to get kicked out of your house. You know now that you were deliberately set up, right?
/r/askMRP26/06/18 09:22 PM
4

WHY would you want to be married to a woman who premeditatively files a false police report to have you forcibly removed from your own home? You're in a serious state of denial if you don't think she will play that card again and again to keep your balls in a jar, sitting on her night stand. Dude, have some fucking self respect!
/r/askMRP25/06/18 09:07 PM
7

As a man who found the Red Pill as a result my ex cheating with co-workers (yes, plural), I can confirm what others have said. If you do not kick her to the curb, her hamster will go wild and any remorse she's feeling now (been there, done that) will quickly fade to a contempt for a man who displays low value by putting up with this shit. She will rationalize that you're the one who is broken and responsible for her appalling behavior. She confirm her beliefs by watching you putting in effort an…
/r/askMRP25/06/18 09:01 PM
1

Never make threats that you aren't willing to execute; you lose all credibility and respect, as well as being branded a liar. What /u/man_in_the_world said but I will extend this further by just don't make threats. Period. First, you're talking when you should be doing. 2nd, making a threat is a use of strong emotion that is a dead giveaway that you're not the one in control of the relationship. Just more DLV piled on top of shit sack of DLV. State expectations and execute boundaries. By mindful…
/r/askMRP20/06/18 08:18 PM
1

Acta Non Verba. I don't tell my wife that I only need her for one thing, she knows it. There is no better dread in the world than a grown-ass man who handles his shit like a boss.
/r/askMRP17/06/18 03:06 PM
8

This is not a main event... you have no clue what that means. You are re-prioritizing yourself, she feelz you slipping out of her frame, and she's losing her shit about it. It's nothing more than strong emotion to execute a 'frame grab'. I'm very doubtful that you've read WISNIFG, otherwise you would have some rudimentary understanding of how to handle this. Fog Don't DEER STFU Respect your most precious resource (your time) by not rewarding bad behavior
/r/askMRP17/06/18 02:58 PM
4

If a man gives ANY bandwidth to whether he's 'appropriately' alpha or not, then the answer is simple... he's NOT. A man who is solidly his Mental Point of Origin has no need to ponder such absurdities. That question would just never enter his mind.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/18 06:28 PM
1

Agree and Amplify. Agree & Amplify Theory Acing the Test Learn it. Live it.
/r/askMRP11/06/18 02:59 AM
2

Lighten up, Francis! Has it occurred to you that you're struggling in your marriage because you suck the fun out of everything? I will often use different routes to drive to work because I enjoy the change in scenery. Try living in the moment a bit more and repeat after me, "It's not the destination, it's the journey". Have you considered the definite possibility that your OCD tendencies are unreasonable? You need to take your wife's complaints seriously and exercise some much needed self reflec…
/r/askMRP08/06/18 03:13 PM
1

Frankly you're lazy. You aren't out there pushing the envelope. You aren't trying to achieve more. Push it just a little bit. You've described in one sentence why 1) his marriage failed, and 2) why he feels that he's generally failing at life. Many who come here can not wrap their head around the concept, "No matter where you go, there you are". You can change jobs, marriages, location, etc, but I can guarantee you that whatever is causing that hole in your soul is exactly what you see staring b…
/r/askMRP05/06/18 06:12 PM
1

EVERYTHING you want is on the other side of fear.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 04:34 PM
2

Yup. Recent study puts population diagnosed with BPD at 1.5% Vast majority of women losing their shit is because of weak men with zero boundaries. You either satisfy her insatiable need for drama (fun, excitement) on your terms or she will create her own... and it wont be fun.
/r/askMRP24/05/18 09:57 PM
1

I would say "good luck", but you won't need it. You'll be fine. More than fine. What about her? Who gives a shit? You'll quickly become indifferent. I wrote this a year ago... Lurking Cuckolds Welcome... Seems Apropos.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/18 09:16 PM
3

fuck no, where you getting that? i did this to myself Wasn't directing my comments at you specifically, bro. All beta men, and especially newly red pilled ones, blame her for slamming shut her pussy. Victimhood is the ocean in which we swim now.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/18 05:57 PM
3

Contempt is what you get when you continually fail shit tests. If you started a relationship in an alpha frame, were getting laid on the regular, and then fell apart, it would progress from increasing, more emotional shit testing and end with contempt. And seriously, do you blame her? She thinks you 'bait & switched' her... likely as much as you think of her.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/18 05:33 PM
2

Shit tests are born from doubt. She needs you to satisfy her doubt. Contempt is just contempt. There is no shit test in it.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/18 05:16 PM
3

Yes, that's good, actionable advise. My ex tried that same over familiarity with me once, while I was still working at the marital home to get it sold and my financial freedom back. I firmly shut it down without over dramatizing. They know that while they continue to have some 'institutional' power over you, they can take liberties... it's a fucking script. Having to play nice with a woman who lied to, and cheated on, you is a nasty, steaming shit sandwich you have to eat (I know, I also have th…
/r/askMRP21/05/18 03:24 PM
6

As Rollo has often said, women love what a man will do (or have the perceived potential to do) for them. The moment you no longer 'do', they will not 'love'.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/18 01:19 AM
1

Have you read 'When I Say No I Feel Guilty'? Start there.
/r/askMRP21/05/18 12:16 AM
1

The "Fuck me or fuck you" speech is reserved for Dread Level 10... you're not at Level 10 by any stretch of the imagination. When we talk about 'Red Pill Rambo', this is exactly it. Acting from emotion, without knowledge, without understanding, without critical thinking, and (above all else) without having earned the privileged. You have not yet earned the FMFY speech. And no, you're not close to the Main Event. You have to be a high SMV man to get to the Main Event... and that's high SMV in her…
/r/askMRP16/05/18 10:27 PM
1

Using the kids to knock you out of your frame is bullshit, shut that down. Otherwise, I see the rest of her behavior as affirmation that you're on the path to restoring you as your mental point of origin. Her behavior is typical. A woman will only give desire sex to a man her hypergamy deems worthy and shit testing is her innate strategy for satisfying her hypergamic doubt of your worthiness. If you're a beta chump, she has zero hypegamic doubt that you're a loser and the best you get is contemp…
/r/askMRP14/05/18 07:27 PM
1

Mother's Day is one of many covert contracts. My family does not abide Hallmark Holidays. Respect, appreciation, and affection for the people you love and value is not crammed into one day a year... you express it (appropriately) in your every day actions. I asked my wife this morning if the youngest (remaining) had wished her a happy Mothers Day. She said, "No, and I don't need that. He shows me every day." I just nodded in approval.
/r/askMRP14/05/18 05:47 PM
1

You don't think your kids are watching this train wreck and are cringing just like we are? "Why does daddy let mommy talk mean to him? If daddy lets mommy treat him badly, then daddy must deserve it. Daddy must be the bad person mommy says he is." This is what you are teaching your kids by staying with this bitch. If she's such a shitty mother, the kids will be orders of magnitude better off with you. Even if it's 50/50... kids will ALWAYS gravitate to the saner, more competent parent.
/r/askMRP07/05/18 08:45 PM
1

What value does this woman add to your life? In what ways does she make your life more difficult? How much unnecessary drama does she cause? How easy do you think it would be to replace her with a woman who does add value by making your life easier, not harder, and keeps her bullshit to a minimum? Do the work by thoroughly answering those questions... make a spreadsheet if you have to. When you're done, you will know what to do.
/r/askMRP07/05/18 08:35 PM
1

I fail to see how this is a problem. Explain to me how your wife's divorced girlfriends 'telling' you wife, "If you're not fucking your hot husband, we will be happy to take you place!" is a bad thing? What will be most telling is when your wife no longer invites them into your home for fear of poaching. This is 'pre-selection' at it's finest... learn to roll with it.
/r/askMRP22/04/18 03:08 PM
2

Went to a Jazz Bar a few years back with wife and watched a gaggle of married women on a GNO make fools of themselves with the young studs looking for a pump & dump. Whole bunch of grinding, making out and overt fondling on the dance floor. Not sure what was more humorous, the show on the dance floor or my wife's response to her inability to unsee it.
/r/askMRP22/04/18 02:55 PM
1

A concept you need to internalize is "The 'stay plan' is the same as the 'go plan'". Whatever path you choose for your own personal fulfillment is independent of your wife. You do it for you. It's okay to say "I don't know if I will be with my wife tomorrow/next week/next year" If you work to become more attractive with the covert contract of having desirous sex with your wife, you will likely be very disappointed. If your wife has medical issues (Vaginismus, in particular), you will not fix thi…
/r/askMRP22/04/18 02:47 PM
2

Good, actionable advise. Now change "quality woman" to "woman who adds measurable value to your life" and it will be almost perfect. Get in the habit of looking at at all relationships in your life (people or things, doesn't matter) as to whether it adds value. Full stop. Perceived 'Quality' is a distraction that prevents you from making objective decisions. It's the rabbit hole where Sunk Cost Fallacy hides. Stop using that word.
/r/askMRP20/04/18 06:21 PM
1

For clarity, I don't take exception to any perceived 'Rollo slight'. Rollo is just an educated, exceptionally observant man who has the critical thinking skills and insight to connect the dots that elude those who are tragically invested in a paradigm fated to destroy them... but, he's not a god by any stretch. I took exception to the over the top comment that AF/BB is bullshit. Again, you're spot-on with regards to the correlation of libido to testosterone and a woman's 'cravings'. Men are hard…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/18 04:13 PM
3

It's not that excellent, rather it shows a complete lack of the ability to read and to understand. He gets a few things right. For example, correlating a woman's libido to her testosterone is spot on, but far from a revelation. Rollo does not claim that a women chooses a beta over an alpha for long-term provisioning. He's stated often that a woman settles for a beta because alphas have no desire to commit. A woman is genuinely pissed that she has to fuck a beta. Any rationalizations shes invents…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/18 02:55 PM
16

Raises Hand This was me in a 'previous life'. Beta provider plowhorse, dad bod, boring as fuck. Promising career put on hold to take care of kids not even my own so wifey could pursue her fast-tracked career with my support. Wifey swallowing and sitting on copious cock in parking lots, playgrounds, and by-the-hour hotel rooms. Miserable and depressed from not trusting my gut, went to the interwebz to look for answers and found my savior. Took six months to fully ingest the pill, then walked away…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/18 05:57 PM
1

The OP's risk adverse. Clear scarcity mindset giveaway.
/r/askMRP09/04/18 10:09 PM
1

In pre-RP days the sex was more, In pre-RP days divorce did not get mentioned (except one time when we reached the lowest low). One of two scenarios going on here: You've gone 'Red Pill Rambo' and blown your marriage up. You've re-gained some measure of frame, she's sensing a loss of control of the relationship and she's using 'strong emotion' as a Frame grab to reel you back in. Do some serious introspection and figure out which it is.
/r/askMRP09/04/18 09:19 PM
1

i would suggest something extreme at this point. drop some mild suggestion that you've got a female friend out there or that you're now in an area with a lot of westernized women If wifey's getting drilled on the regular, there's no amount of dread that's going to make a dent in that, especially when the OP's thousands of miles away. Agree with keeping attention to a minimum and no affection. Best course is for OP to focus on his mission and quit obsessing about shit he can do nothing about... h…
/r/askMRP09/04/18 09:06 PM
1

the problem is the guy's mindset. if he doesn't fix it it won't matter who he's with--he'll get the same result over and over. Yup. This is why the Stay Plan is always the same as the Go Plan. it's that fear that leads you straight into the decisions that will make you lose it Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. You know you're in an abundant mindset when you're willing to blow it all up because you will land on your feet running. Being zero-ed out is a temporary condition. Be…
/r/askMRP09/04/18 08:56 PM
1

He's not wrong. When you're getting contempt it's because you have zero boundaries and your Frame is for shit. WISNIFG is your best friend.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/18 08:29 PM
2

Contempt becomes the default state when you consistently fail shit tests. You turn it around by not failing shit tests and being less available. Hold frame (do not DEER), maintain boundaries and focus on your mission. Stay Plan is the same as the Go Plan. Be aware, when you're getting little else than contempt, there is a substantial amount of negative emotional momentum to overcome... you have to get out of the 'red' before you can get back into the 'black'. It wont be until your 'back in black…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/18 08:26 PM
3

The trick is is to know the difference between a shit test or just plain contempt. Contempt is what you get when you've failed too many shit tests.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/18 01:55 PM
1

You find your way here from /r/DeadBedrooms ? Keep reading the sidebar... eventually it will sink in.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/18 05:28 PM
3

whoa, whoa, whoa... you just said its not about sex It's about sex, until it isn't. Getting laid is either 95% of your problem or it's 5%. When you're living in an abundant frame and fucking regularly, you have bandwidth to ponder life's other questions... like your mission. While sex drains your balls, your mission fills your soul. The 'Burden of Performance' is equally hardwired into men and these two needs are in constant battle. The ironic thing is that women are insanely attracted to a man …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/18 02:42 PM
8

'High Quality' is a subjective, a foolish pursuit and nothing but a frame grab. Too many women out there who are perceived as 'High Quality' but offer little to nothing in value. And in some, the cost-benefit ratio is so poor because of their ridiculous drama. "High Quality' is a BP myth that will bring you nothing but pain. A RP aware man who has options, lives solidly as his MPoO, rightfully values his time, effort, and resources, will never allow a woman into his life who does not bring objec…
/r/TheRedPill04/04/18 04:24 PM
1

in other words she can have a lot of "high value" traits, making $$$, hot, good mom, owning her shit, not being a cheating whore, being smart and dynamic, etc. ; all the while seeking to control the relationship and you or not adding value to you directly beyond the extraneous things (like $$$ for example). No doubt this is true, but I was thinking in terms of a man's ego investment in whatever he deems as 'high quality' (social proof of having a hot wife, for example) compared to the value she …
/r/askMRP02/04/18 08:57 PM
1

Your depression is the result of you not owning your shit. Your ego isn't just depleted, it's exhausted from the distractions you create to avoid dealing with the dissonance in your head and going to battle with your vulnerabilities. Your depression is a comfortable old blanket of fear that keeps you right where you are. It's your 'woundology' (google it). Time to toss the binky in the incinerator and 'embrace the suck'. Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
/r/askMRP02/04/18 06:50 PM
2

Agreed. A man's paradigm and his ego investments must be smashed to bits before he's capable of accepting a new one.
/r/askMRP02/04/18 06:30 PM
1

i'm not going to say my woman is a HB9/10 unless were weighting the scale for just 40+ women; but in so many ways she is a high quality woman. I'm going to nit-pick here a bit for the benefit of others. Characterizing a woman's 'quality' is problematic. It may seem to be merely semantics, but it's an internalizing of mindset. A woman can be rationalized as 'high quality' when she's actually low value. This is a woman whose juice is not worth the squeeze... and she knows it. She knows she's in co…
/r/askMRP02/04/18 06:01 PM
1

hell, he should even give her EXTRA money This is bullshit. Before you start spending this guy's hard earned money, there are holes in this story that need to be sussed out. How well does the OP know his baby mama's family and it's dynamics. Understanding the family, it's values, history, etc is the #1 way to vet a woman. Why isn't this woman working? Was she working when they met? If not, why not? If so, why did she quit? Why didn't she go on family leave? How will this trip impact his financia…
/r/askMRP30/03/18 10:43 PM
5

This is the problem with PUA Game. It takes little personal investment or effort to 'project' enough value, where there often is none, to get laid. Almost invariably, a PUA gamer will find 'his 10' and and decide to drop out of the game... so he thinks. It's the proverbial 'Children With Dynamite'. You know just enough to be dangerous. The dilemma is projecting value does not work in a LTR.. you actually have to have value to maintain a LTR. The emotional discongruence feeds the scarcity mindset…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/18 10:21 PM
1

She adds value. Without her adding to my life, what is the point? I add value to her life, otherwise why would she stay? Guys, read this several times and let it sink in. It really isn't complicated. Nope. All relationships are transactional by nature, sexual one's are no different. I can list a dozen examples of how my wife adds value to my life, without breaking a sweat, and a significant part has little to do with TRP. It's just her being a responsible grown-ass adult who handles her shit. Sh…
/r/askMRP20/03/18 10:06 PM
6

Nah, he's the real deal. BP beta schmucks really are not only clueless, they are heavily invested in keeping their paradigm from crashing down around them. I have a bit more empathy because it's not been so long that I don't remember my investment in the pathology. /u/Phaxis81/ I'm going to help you decipher the code here... A woman wanting to open the relationship is already fucking other men. Not only is she fucking other men, but she's getting her perverse jollies but telling you (in cat lang…
/r/askMRP20/03/18 09:45 PM
1

Of course they are aware, but you have a perilous misconception that a red pill woman's agency/agenda aligns with a man's. Red pilled women absolutely want their men to 'alpha up', but the devil is in the details. They want men to fit their sexual strategy, up to and including their definition of 'alpha'. Ignore Rollo's Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies at your peril... For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own. This is what the Feminine I…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/18 04:24 PM
2

It's equally funny you said this because I have that podcast queued up to watch but haven't had the time to devote to it yet. Great minds and all that shit...
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/18 03:20 PM
6

RPW is Red Pill... but they are not our Red Pill. I have a bit of a unique perspective because my wife was 'red pilled' (as much as a woman can be) before we met and I will testify that AWALT is alive and well in 'red pilled' women. While she will see and identify women's hypergamy and dualistic strategy in the the wild, her solipsism innately provides cover, minimizing self-identification to only occasional moments. RP women are not unicorns. Do not think for a moment that you can let your guar…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/18 02:39 PM
5

I later found out she had been sexually abused as a child and wanted to believe her when she said that she had dealt with it through counselling. You know this is absolute bullshit, right? She had no problem fucking your brains out when she was grooming you for her beta draft horse. Never forget that. You get your shit together and I can guarantee you one thing, either she will start fucking you again (trauma? What past trauma?) or another woman will be happy to take her place.
/r/askMRP19/03/18 12:43 AM
2

I was thinking International Space Station... my bad! ;-)
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/18 09:16 PM
1

I thought I was pretty thick skinned until I joined the Navy. As /u/Rian_Stone/ will no doubt agree, when you're out at for sea 3+ months at a time, you've got nothing better to do to pass the time than to fuck with each other, and it was often brutal. You either developed a thick skin or you went crazy. Folks tested me here early on and quickly went to easier marks... "Nothing to see here"
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/18 09:10 PM
5

I don't disagree, but the vast majority of men could never pull this off without looking ridiculous and weak when the wife knows full well that he has no options. Also, Why state the obvious? That said, I have huge respect for any man who has the integrity to unapologetically own what they want, the authenticity to artfully and forcefully deliver that message, and the frame to execute. Again, most men are incapable of pulling that off. Better to keep it simple... DO more, TALK less.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/18 05:38 PM
3

everything is fungible except time I feel like we just had a 'Kung Fu' moment... "Time for you to leave".
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/18 05:15 PM
1

Yep, I'm Hard Core Nuclear Navy Red.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/18 03:22 PM
2

No doubt, you've made some progress, but dismissing /u/johneyapocalypse 's snarky but on-point comment is a pretty big red flag as to what you're missing about how far you have to go in your understanding. Dude, you need to seriously kill your ego... it's your greatest enemy right now. And seriously take to heart every word that /u/Rian_Stone has written here... the guy is giving you gold for free.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/18 03:12 PM
3

And this is why you still have a long way to go.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/18 02:56 PM
52

You still don't get it. Telling your wife that "you love sex but don't need it" is just a another form of negotiating desire, by way of active dread. Seriously, what part of STFU did you not get when you read the sidebar? You don't tell a woman that you love & crave sex, you show her. You don't tell a woman that you don't need sex, you show her by your actions that you only need her for one thing and if she's not capable of providing it, then there are plenty of other women that would happily ta…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/18 02:54 PM
14

Eject. Now. At one and a half years and no kids, it will be a clean and painless break. Give her no clue that you're filing and enjoy the hysterical bonding sex until you serve her. Consider yourself very lucky that she showed her authentic self early. I agree with the consensus, but with a caveat... do not get married unless your desire/need to have and raise children significantly outweighs the risks you can not readily absorb. At the end of the day, do you, but be fucking smart and deliberate…
/r/askMRP15/03/18 03:55 PM
1

LOL, I'm more a 'fuck self improvement for self improvement's sake' kinda guy. Self improvement is a means to an end, full stop.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/18 04:17 PM
4

Stoney, we don't disagree. At it's core, The Red Pill is about regaining one's agency... the ability to exert power & control over one's self, primarily, and indirectly upon others. This is THE common thread throughout all the schools of RP thought. While self improvement is the path to agency, there is a tendency to use self improvement as buffer for ego protection... i.e., agency not tested = agency not lost. As you are pointing out, this is a dangerous path.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/18 03:56 PM
36

You committed the gravest of errors... poorly vetting your wife. Your marriage is a dumpster fire. She is openly contemptuous of you and you take it like a pussy. You aren't and will never be her alpha high score... she will endlessly shit test you into oblivion and your life will be constant misery. I say this with sincerity, get out now and consider your financial loses a painful reminder of how badly you fucked up. And DO NOT get involved with any woman until you get your shit squared away.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/18 06:34 PM
2

Thinking about leaving her now. This is the only thing you've said which makes sense. You committed the gravest of errors... poorly vetting your wife. Your marriage is a dumpster fire. She is openly contemptuous of you and you take it like a pussy. You aren't and will never be her alpha high score... she will endlessly shit test you into oblivion and your life will be constant misery. I say this with sincerity, get out now and consider your financial loses a painful reminder of how badly you fuc…
/r/askMRP08/03/18 05:08 PM
1

Actually, no. You didn't. He's right, you're wrong. Women want two things and they're diametrically opposed. They want the roller coaster and they want to feel safe. It's all about the feelz. It's the man's job to provide the proper balance of excitement and comfort. If you're not up for this, then don't play the game.
/r/askMRP05/03/18 03:48 PM
2

Ultimatums are a DLV and a clear acknowledgement to the other that you have NO power in the relationship. You don't issue ultimatums, you enforce boundaries. You don't talk, you do.
/r/askMRP05/03/18 03:30 PM
1

Also realize that while her behavior is very predictable, so is yours. When confidence, abundance & MPoO builds in a RP aware man with your progress, indifference invariably follows. Hence your lack of interest. Men on this path have their own crises of sorts. When the 'Stay' and 'Go' plans have been (must be) the same for a dozen+ months, and abundance gives you the head space to internalize that you're truly doing all this work for you, the 'Go' plan looks increasingly less scary and a comfort…
/r/askMRP27/02/18 11:17 PM
5

She disrespects you in your own fucking house, with you in the next room. What. The. Actual. Fuck!?! The fact that you have to ask a bunch of internet strangers what to do is all we need to understand why this happened. You are a Beta Pussy who has no business being in any relationship until you pull your head out of your ass, grow some balls, become your Mental Point of Origin. Monk mode. Sidebar. Lift. Now.
/r/askMRP27/02/18 03:29 PM
1

I went straight to my GP and had zero trouble. I told him I was having mood swings and trouble concentrating (mostly true). The more non-sexual related symptoms, the better. After results came back low, it was a non-discussion. I just go back to check levels every 6 months and get my script re-filled. I've been self-injecting from the start... no big deal.
/r/askMRP26/02/18 08:51 PM
3

Explain to me how 'beta comfort' is remotely a good thing? Alpha is a mindset and Alpha = being in your frame. Beta = not in your frame. Worst case beta is a 'Nice Guy' who is incapable of owning his needs and throws copious covert contracts. An alpha male is fully capable of being his Mental Point of Origin and understanding that giving relationship comfort is a necessary part of attending to the emotional well-being of those who add value to his life. Giving relationship comfort to one's tribe…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/18 06:53 PM
1

Shoulder to cry on after said friend nexted her beta husband and then slept with a married man. This woman is the most virulent of cancers. Watch her carefully. There are different schools of thought on this, but I side with exercising your duty as a good captain if this damaged woman's bad behavior ratchets up in attempting include your wife in her debauchery... you need to be prepared to shut that shit down if it comes to this. That woman is broken and will drag your entire family down into th…
/r/askMRP23/02/18 08:48 PM
1

There seems to be some confusion here as to what man's mission is or should be. As u/ReddJive stated, it's not a bucket list. It's the masculine pursuit of creating mastery of one's domain. It's the ultimate male expression of striving for perfection, in thought & action. The acknowledging of a man's hardwired burden of performance. The Ancient Greeks understood this concept well... they called it Arete. Your mission is for you and no one else. It's the reason why you get up in the morning and s…
/r/askMRP23/02/18 08:15 PM
1

since main event she went from bad to bearable but still far from good, from my PoV Then it wasn't THE Main Event. The main event is when she completely accepts your frame. There will of course be shit testing, but nothing like you've experienced in the past. If she's still fighting, then you either have a main event still coming or you will eventually lose your shit and give her your 'Fuck Me or Fuck You" speech.
/r/askMRP20/02/18 09:42 PM
5

Good post. New guys often confuse shit testing with plain disrespect. Here are the phases in which shit testing and Main Event encompass... Nobody wants to fuck you... least of all, your wife. Fat, Frame-less, beta schmuck gets nothing but disgust and contempt... Any conversation with wife is brutal & soul-sucking. Holy shit, my wife is not a sexless bitch after all! You're losing weight, dressing well, not socially autistic, and shutting down the disrespect. Wife starts desire fucking you again…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 09:31 PM
5

Someone has noticed the power dynamics are changing. Fucking this right here. Nothing pisses off (and arouses) a woman more than a man who knows he has options. OP is not playing by the rules and wifey is increasingly ratcheting up to bring him back to her frame. The rapid cycling between crazy bitch and rational (I'm sad & lost) woman is dead give-away. Main event is coming soon.
/r/askMRP12/02/18 12:03 AM
3

Dude, I was zeroed out at 52 and literally had to start over. Six years ago ex was fucking a co-worker and & I found the RP. I tried the purple-pilled reconciliation thing (because, you know, scarcity) and a funny thing happened. I found myself... all of me. Even the old masculine parts my naturally alpha (but thoroughly BP) dad had instilled in me as a young boy but were buried by a society that wrote me off when I was no longer 'useful'. So, 6 months from d-day, me improving in ways I didn't k…
/r/askMRP11/02/18 03:53 PM
1

Have both the divorce papers AND a tight 'post-nup' drawn by your lawyer. Make the post-nup extremely punitive... you get custody, no alimony, pays you child support, you keep the house and all finances. If she takes option 'A', she signs the post-nup. Otherwise option 'B' and divorce.
/r/askMRP11/02/18 02:17 AM
1

There is a concept you need to desperately and immediately internalize... 'No' is a complete sentence.
/r/askMRP08/02/18 06:09 AM
1

Some reading assignments for you: Amused Mastery Acing the Test Command Presence
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/18 07:50 PM
3

If the OP thinks he's confused now, he should read Rollo's Saving The Best... That will truly fuck him up.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/18 10:33 PM
1

Ditto. Grew up in Seattle, currently living in a Chicago burb.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/18 09:23 PM
1

No doubt it’s all part of the process, but how can you own what you don’t understand?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/17 03:45 AM
1

I would add that 'Owning Your Shit' commences at Phase 2. OYS is knowing who you are, what you want, and the discipline & courage to pursue it. You can't OYS if you don't have a plan and you can't have a plan without knowing who you are and what you want.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/17 12:02 AM
3

Agreed. 'Going Rambo' is nothing more than attempting Phase 3 before completing Phase 1. How can you project what you don't understand?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/17 11:51 PM
1

I've been in a relationship where she had 'one foot out the door' the entire time. It's soul sucking... don't do that. If you're not thinking "fuck yeah!" about this woman and your best response is "nice lifestyle", then you're living in a scarcity mindset and selling yourself short. Any aspect of your life which is not "fuck yeah!" is not worth the time or effort and should be pruned immediately... that includes any relationship. Do you honestly value your time so poorly? Dude, you have one lif…
/r/askMRP13/12/17 08:45 PM
4

Nothing pisses, frightens, and arouses a woman more (yes, all three, at the same time) than a high value man who knows he has options. Another phrase you will hear often is "Act Single". This is not a casual endorsement of cheating, but there is a significant distinction between a man who does cheat and a man who can cheat. "Act Single" means you are dependent on no one and you get shit done regardless of who lives under your roof. Real, passive dread is a self-sufficient man who fulfills all hi…
/r/askMRP04/12/17 11:35 PM
2

Women do leave Stone Cold men who treat them poorly but its done reluctantly and they always regret it. This is where Alpha Widows are made. It pays to be mindful when vetting a woman for any long-term investment. If you are not her 'Alpha High Score', her need to satisfy her hypergamic doubt will be constantly engaged and the shit testing will be non-stop. As Dirty Harry said, "A man has got to know his limitations".
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/17 05:05 PM
1

OK, bro. You obviously know your circumstance better than I and it's not my intention to pour salt into an already gaping wound. I've stood in your shoes about 5 years ago and an infidelity is painful regardless of how red-pilled you are. My advise though remains... do some thoughtful introspection on how you projected authenticity and your stbx's response to it. Dig deep and question everything.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/17 04:54 PM
1

Beta mentality gives comfort expecting ego kibble. You're describing alpha mentality as giving to control behavior which is just a different kibble. Being stingy with comfort is a scarcity or hording mentality. All relationships are transactional by nature. Your time is your most valuable resource. Why would you give it away to someone who does not earn it? Giving your time away sends a clear message to people that you do not value yourself. It is not stingy to modulate your comfort to lead your…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/17 12:45 AM
9

I think some confusion is because we don't even agree on what exactly is "Alpha" and what is "Beta." I and many others have suggested that Alpha is what makes girls wet and Beta provides comfort but not tingles. It's confusing because you're conflating a mindset with a behavior. Behaviors are the unconscious actions resulting from a mindset. An Alpha mindset is one of abundance, confidence, mastery and healthy self-interest. From Rollo's The Myth of the 'Good Guy' There is no Alpha with a side o…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/17 11:42 PM
1

You think?!? Rollo was at his most concise when he said, "Alpha is a mindset, not a demographic". Alpha = Frame. From Frame, all behaviors flow. The sooner people get this through their thick skulls, the smoother their path will become. Not easier, just less bumpier.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/17 06:32 PM
1

And let's make this patently clear to the new guys reading this. Your failure wasn't due to "poor relationship comfort"... that's nothing but a straw-man. Your failure was scarcity, resulting in a lack of authenticity. Bottomline, she wasn't buying what you were selling.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/17 03:40 PM
8

Marriage is over, don't worry. You keep saying this. Trying to convince us is not a viable strategy to convincing yourself. You've been in a purple-pilled covert contract for the past three years, trying to use RP praxeology for a BP goal... and this is your fucking reward. Take some time and let this truly sink in. OYS is not some abstract concept where success is measured by getting 'jacked', flirting and getting IOI's, dressing well, and taking care of business. That's not OYS, that's being a…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/17 03:25 PM
2

No. There is no Alpha with a side of Beta, there is only the man who’s genuine concern is first for himself, the man who prepares and provisions for himself, the man who maintains Frame to the point of arrogance because that’s who he is and what he genuinely merits. There is only the Man who improves his circumstance for his own benefit, and then, by association and merit, the benefit of those whom he loves and befriends. You're either an alpha, solidly in your Frame, living your life on your te…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/17 02:26 AM
16

Dude, I have no fucking idea how you're 'MRP Approved'. Relationship comfort? Absolutely. Reciprocating the value that they add to your life because it pleases you? Of course. I get it. We all 'go Rambo', occasionally lose focus, or coast in a time when we're feeling cocky... then we calibrate and move on. But giving a cheating, branch swinging whore a pass because "you ate paint"? You still have a long way to go, Amigo. Time for you to go back to Abundance 101. Your fuck-up does not justify her…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/17 02:05 AM
1

Vets here just give you a rope, it's your job to pull yourself out of this hole you've dug yourself into.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/17 10:26 PM
13

No. You avoid oneitis by internalizing an abundance mentality. You develop an abundance mentality by becoming a high value man who knows he has options. You have options when you receive non-negotiated desire from women and engage with them up to the limits of your value system. You don't have to be a man who would cheat to be a man women think can cheat. It's called pre-selection. The man who can cheat gets a woman sopping wet. Every. Time. You also seem to have a gross misunderstanding of inte…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/17 04:45 AM
1

You're not wrong but I have a bit different perspective. I hate improvement for improvement's sake. It's easy to let it become the bright, shiny object that distracts you from confronting and handling your shit. Men are built for conflict and self improvement is a natural response to our burden of performance, but when we consume ourselves with it to avoid the thing we fear the most, holding us back, then it becomes our greatest liability.
/r/askMRP01/11/17 02:55 AM
1

Was screechater at Orlando?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/17 06:32 PM
1

Frame is knowing who you are, what you want, and the necessity of prioritizing your needs above others. Owning your shit is doing what it takes to maintain your frame. Authenticity is projecting your Frame to the world, with ZFG.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/17 05:54 PM
6

Excellent topic that must be discussed, I've spent some bandwidth thinking on this too. While I feel in my gut you are right, I'm a bit conflicted because one of Rollo's articles that particularly resonated me is The Myth of the Good Guy. The problem with this ‘Good Guy’ myth is not because men can’t or wouldn’t want to try to balance women’s Hypergamy for them, but simply because women neither want nor expect that balance in the same man to begin with. For the newly unplugged man, this is a dep…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/17 01:49 PM
2

All you guys new to the RP need to read Ian Ironwood's posts. He retired from active posting a couple years ago, but his posts are still gold. Particularly apropos to this post is The Girlfriend Effect While he's addressing this article to women, this is an excellent description of how you will know when you are your wife's 'boyfriend'.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/17 03:35 AM
1

Obviously another example of 'go by what they do".
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/17 03:18 AM
4

In all sincerity, thank your stbx wife for her honesty and the opportunity to un-fuck your life without the distractions of her ridiculous drama. Don't separate... ghost her, go straight to divorce.
/r/askMRP18/10/17 06:39 PM
11

Your instincts were good, but you lost frame and, as a result, your execution was shit. The way you should have played it? Remain stoic, state your expectations & boundaries, and the consequences of non-compliance... starting with removing your band, up to and including cancelling the purchase of a home. You're now neck-deep in a massive shit test/game of chicken. By no means, put your ring back on. You do and you've given her further confirmation that she does, in fact, 'own' you. Stoic, positi…
/r/askMRP19/09/17 05:47 PM
1

Pain is weakness leaving the body I've always like this one... Maybe strong is just what you have left when you've used up all your weak...
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/17 10:08 PM
2

Excellent post! This is exactly why OYS is so highly stressed. OYS => Success => Confidence => Abundance => Frame => Mental Point of Origin => World Is Your Bitch!
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/17 10:01 PM
2

Strip away the marketing & spiritual 'mumbo jumbo' and "The Secret" and the "Law of Attraction" is nothing more than Abundance Mindset.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/17 09:40 PM
2

Making a 2nd pass on 'Meditations'. It absolutely amazes me how so-called 'intellectuals' try to attach expiration dates to truths about human nature and what constitutes a 'well lived' life. There are none... truth is truth. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, for ever.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/17 10:31 PM
2

Bogey, I can believe because I've seen (lived) it too, up close and personal. I was living and working (Florida Power & Light) in Homestead, FL during Hurricane Andrew, August '92, so I have some inkling of what you're going through. House totaled, flooded to the ceiling. I did pretty much the same... got my family to Orlando, safe, and drove back to the 'war zone' to get civilization up and running again. So yeah, I get it. Sending good vibes your way, brother. Thanks for the links, I will make…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/17 02:02 PM
3

... and owning it by making no apologies for pursuing it.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/17 05:12 PM
4

Self-improvement for it's own sake is deeper than 'masturbation'. It's a buffer that is rooted in fear. It's a deliberate distraction to avoid owning your shit and the letting go of a paradigm that is clearly not working for you because change is scary.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/17 05:08 PM
2

OP, there's a simple reason why the predominant advice you're getting is Lift heavy shit, take care of shit that needs to be taken care of, get a hobby, read Let me spell it out for you. Living in a blue-pill paradigm creates a self-perpetuating scarcity mindset and low self esteem, lack of confidence, one-itis, and outcome dependence are all elements of a scarcity mindset. Maintaining Frame and yourself as Mental Point of Origin, regardless of circumstance, is impossible without a well internal…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/17 03:27 PM
1

Agreed, this tool serves several purposes. First & foremost, women love the roller coaster. Shows her that your decision making is not guided by her emotions. ZFG is a powerful mindset. Aids in internalizing abundance and a solid MPoO. Reinforces your frame operating independently of hers.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/17 05:35 PM
3

Most people in failed marriages who become just another series of statistics are unhappy souls who harbor, and become ego invested in, scarcity and victim-hood mindsets. Because victims are incapable of learning, since it's never their fault, they move from relationship to relationship convinced that the next one will fill the gaping hole in their psyche, only to be continually disappointed. They are unable to fathom that purpose and contentment comes from within and each failure adds to the gro…
/r/askMRP09/06/17 03:06 PM
2

There is nothing more pathetic than a man who uses his kids to barricade himself from re-entering the Arena. You think you're the sole person being emotionally and spiritually damaged by this toxic harpy? Your solipsism is of epic female proportions. Your kids have a front row seat to this train wreck and your fear of 'potential loss' has provided a convenient buffer for you to not even research and consider your options. Your cowardice has made you complicit to the real harm that is being perpe…
/r/askMRP08/06/17 06:53 PM
2

I believe my wife truly makes my life worth living. A whole lot of hamstering going on here. YOU make your life worth living. Full stop! Any other belief is based on a scarcity mindset, a 'Nice Guy' pathology and a shitty Mental Point of Origin. Your mission is to live a purposeful, passion-filled life, rooted in abundance and self. The people (and things) in your life add value and/or drama. If the balance leans heavily towards drama and they interfere with your mission, then you strip them (it…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/17 05:45 PM
5

No marriage is 'fixable' because the marriage should never be the focus. Fix the man and give the woman a compelling reason to live in his world (Frame). Whether she chooses to do so is totally on her. This is why the 'Stay Plan' is always the same as the 'Go Plan'.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/17 06:05 PM
4

/u/alphabeta49 called it. You shot your whole argument in the foot by admitting that even when parents stay together, they fuck their kids up. I'm an example of that. Parents are still fine and married, but I was a worthless, drifting pussy until a few years ago. OP has an axe to grind... I call this post mostly bullshit because the references he cites are overwhelming from high conflict divorces, no correlation, little background, and do not reflect reality. Without a doubt, what gives kids the…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/17 05:28 PM
12

You need to (re?) read /u/UEMcGill 's recent post The Message is the Message, because you're focused on the content. With women, it's all about the feels... emotion, not content. This is not a money issue. It could be one or several things... IMO, it's primarily her not being the strong independent woman that our 3rd wave feminist controlled society has manipulated and shamed her into believing she must be. Why do I think this? She then said, with a sigh: "I really need to be more financially in…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/17 02:13 PM
1

sometimes I think it was I get your point but I meant it wasn't always this way WITH ME.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/17 03:56 PM
5

A dog will always be MAN'S BEST friend because of their gift of unconditional love. Sadly, it wasn't always this way, but as a now RP aware man, from a mindset of loyalty, commitment, and necessity, this will forever be my priority list... Me Kids Dog Immediate family, wife, friends
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/17 01:34 PM
1

OP, this^ is the message you should be taking away from this. The Stay Plan is the same as the Go Plan because the plan must always be about you.
/r/askMRP18/04/17 10:57 PM
1

Yep, good FR. Understand that STFU is not a way to live. It's just a temporary strategy to prevent DEER-ing (and the resulting DHV) until you have a solid, internalized Frame and have become your Mental Point of Origin. Once you have a solid Frame, regardless of circumstance or stressors, the need to mindfully STFU evaporates... a man who IS his Mental Point of Origin has no need to DEER.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/17 10:43 PM
3

Without a doubt there's a substantial amount of laziness over there, like the schmuck who asks to skip Rollo Year One because "reading is too hard", but there's also a bunch who just don't know what they don't know. Those are the ones I cut a little slack... until they show that their cluelessness is deliberate.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/17 05:16 PM
7

Wife is being transitioned to 'ex' status. Excepting logistics of making this happen, OP needs to cultivate an attitude of indifference towards stbx. In the long run, it's a whole bunch of wasted energy when he's going to need all he can get for the upcoming battle... and it will be a battle. Additionally, all this revenge shit screams how thoroughly he's still in the stbx's frame.
/r/askMRP11/04/17 06:30 PM
2

Agreed. Remember, no matter where you go, there you are. A change in 'venue' will not fix your problems, only a change in paradigm (i.e., you!) will.
/r/askMRP11/04/17 06:23 PM
4

To add some context to /u/sexyshoulderdevil 's comment... When it comes to the mundane life tasks that any functional adult is required to do, "live like you're single". Trash, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, yard, home maintenance. If something needs to be done, you do it, as if you were alone. This accomplishes two things: It kills one-itis and internalizes abundance and confidence. You need her for one thing. If she's not doing that one thing then she's not adding value. If she's not adding value…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/17 04:08 PM
1

Of course, people need a measure of privacy... becoming a spouse's 'thought policeman' is both invasive to her and exhausting to you. What is absolutely necessary (and non-negotiable) in a committed relationship is transparency. This is the foundation on which trust rests. When a spouse/LTR starts purposefully hiding their actions, you can be assured that what they're doing is not in your best interests and, from that moment, the relationship is effectively over.
/r/askMRP08/04/17 07:27 PM
2

Ive got two little manmals involved. Having kids changes things. No. Having kids does not change things... Full stop. Your primary job as a father is to impart a healthy value system of enlightened self-interest, integrity, abundance and to be a role model for what a loving relationship, based on chemistry, mutual respect & trust looks like. You can do most of your job, regardless of whether you and your spouse are together or apart, but you can not demonstrate integrity to your kids by allowing…
/r/askMRP07/04/17 05:14 PM
6

In the same vein, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose". When you live within an abundance mindset, Freedom is knowing that there's nothing you can't afford to lose. I'm not speaking of a nihilist attitude of valuing nothing... you fight like hell for what truly adds value to your life... just don't allow the fear of loss guide your decision making. Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/17 09:04 PM
1

Great post... very appreciative of the thought and effort put into it. I am interested, though, in how the OP, moderators, and flaired contributors would reconcile 'balancing Alpha & Beta' with the /u/Rollo-Tamassi assertion that "There is no Alpha with a side of Beta" in his post The Myth of the 'Good' Guy
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/17 07:39 PM
3

You're spot on. That list is not remotely alpha... it's actually a compilation of beta traits that 'our' fem-centric culture tells BP men are attractive to women. And it's almost right, if your goal is to be a beta orbiting, draft horse for a woman... but it won't get you laid. Stated simply, beta = attraction and alpha = arousal. Per usual, Rollo has written an excellent blog post on this dynamic... The Myth of the 'Good' Guy. This post had a profound impact on my red pill understanding. So muc…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/17 10:16 PM
3

I communicated that to her once and she did it for a while but now she got lazy. Is this something I should communicate with her There is nothing wrong with stating expectations. Stating more than once quickly becomes negotiating desire and we all know that the best you get from that is 'obligated compliance'. An alpha man wants genuine desire from his mate. If you're not getting Alpha Tells from your wife then the short answer is you still have work to do... it's your job to figure out where. I…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/17 10:37 PM
1

You say you're not there yet and there is still a long way for you to grow, so that should be your focus for now. Agreed. The 'Stay Plan' is the same as the 'Go Plan'... always.
/r/askMRP28/02/17 03:37 PM
1

Clearly more constructive than you're capable of understanding right now. You're painfully in your wife's Frame... so much so that you're throwing multiple loyalty tests when the first one told you all you need to know. Additionally, you're fixating on how to 'catch your wife' when you should be focusing on captaining your family through the impending loss of a family member. Focus on yourself, your kids, your journey, your mission, your passion(s). As BPP was alluding to, "The stay plan is the …
/r/askMRP27/02/17 10:49 PM
1

You'll the find the Nine Iron Rules in Year One. Best to read soon than later.
/r/askMRP27/02/17 10:28 PM
7

The problem here is eluding me. You're having engaged (often enthusiastic) sex with your wife 2-3 times per week, am I right? Scheduled sex does not necessarily make it duty sex and duty sex is not necessarily bad... you can't realistically expect porn star romps every time. The fact that she cares enough about your needs to commit to a schedule (and occasionally more) is a good thing. As in all things, go by what she does... When you're getting starfish or "I'm hating you with my vagina" sex, t…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/17 07:58 PM
1

Agreed. 'Book of Pook' is THE Mindset book. It will convert 'faking it' into 'making it'.
/r/askMRP23/02/17 09:18 PM
3

This is what I call the "There is no spoon" moment.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/17 02:37 PM
5

True enough. 99.9% of being a good divorced dad is being a good married dad. Problem is that most dad's priorities are out of whack and aren't doing this. All men should be 'living like you're single' as preventive medicine. Shit needs to get done regardless of whether you have a partner or not, right? And nothing spells dread quite like the high value male whose actions clearly state "I don't need you." This is why you often hear "The stay plan is the same as the go plan". Own your shit like a …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/17 08:19 PM
1

You can get a divorce if you want, but that won't solve your problems Exactly! Wherever you go... there you are.
/r/askMRP15/02/17 08:21 PM
4

My take is that he knows he is and that it's a challenge he's still working on. This is not like 'The Game' where if you think about it lose. Internalization is the process of creating and strengthening good neural pathways and weakening/destroying old, bad ones. It's a process... what's important is he doesn't act on them.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/17 07:28 PM
2

As a guy who's been through this twice, the answer to "what happens when I leave my kids?" is, "it depends". The one thing you can not control is a kid's capacity to be resilient. Some bounce back, regardless of the civility & engagement of the parents and some, even under perfect conditions, fall apart. Nassim Nicholas Taleb wrote a fascinating book on this phenomena called, "Antifragile: Things That Gain From Disorder". If your kid's well-being are in your calculus for staying vs. leaving, you…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/17 07:08 PM
6

But my time has value, and an hour of peace and quiet is hard currency for a family man. Damn shame I can only up-vote this once. IMO, there are just a few truths you need to walk away with during your time here and this is the most important one. Your time is your most precious resource. Do not give it to anyone or any thing that is not deserving. You can not respect your time if you do not respect yourself and vice versa. From this simple fact, all other RP truths flow.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/17 05:17 AM
3

People who disrespect you don't get rewarded with time with you u/NONO226 This entire post is packed with wisdom but this is the money quote. YOUR TIME is your most valuable resource. It is the only resource that you can NEVER recoup. Your wife does not respect you because you do not respect your time. You give it away cheaply and to those who do not deserve it.
/r/askMRP03/02/17 10:45 PM
1

Alpha is a mindset which leads to certain types of behaviors. u/NONO226, The man here is giving you gold. Stop and let this all sink in for a bit. Alpha = in your Frame, Beta = not in your Frame. Done! You can become an 'Alpha' man with the flip of a switch (That will be the name of the post) you just have to draw a boundary and enforce it. Being in your Frame naturally creates boundaries. Enforcing them is Alpha behavior. You know why your girl is like this? Because you've accepted it, created …
/r/askMRP03/02/17 10:35 PM
2

It's about wanting something, and getting it, while owning the consequences. Otherwise known as integrity. Nothing pisses me off more than guys who make a choice and then constantly whine about that choice. Either the choice is working for you or it isn't. If it is, then don't forebode joy by obsessing over the meaningless little shit. Learn to be content for what you have now by developing a mindset of gratitude. If it isn't, then have the courage to cross the threshold of fear where everything…
/r/askMRP01/02/17 05:17 AM
3

Brother, once you understand that this is how ALL women initiate sex, this part becomes easy... well, easier. Do not expect a woman to love like you do. Do not expect a woman to desire like you do. Do not expect a woman to commit like you do. Do not expect a woman to communicate like you do. Do not expect a woman to think like you do. Do not expect a woman to emote like you do. Do not expect a woman to express her agency like you do. Etc, Etc... you get my point.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/17 04:12 PM
1

I get what /u/ReddJive is trying to say but I also understand the confusion of others. Ego is absolutely 'concept of self'. Who you are, what you value, your paradigm/reality and how you fit within it. What the Red Pill rightly teaches is to challenge your ego and all your investments. Understand what is in your best interest (Mental Point of Origin) and if a value/belief system isn't working for you, throw it out and find one that does. Make your ego work for you instead of everyone else (Frame…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/17 04:00 PM
1

The Red Pill is all about winning the 'Sexual Strategy' Game. You can't win if you don't know it's a game and there are rules. You can't understand and follow the rules without Frame. You can not exert Frame without value... real or perceived. You can not project value without Abundance and its cousin, Outcome Independence. Lastly, The Sexual Strategy Game is ambivalent about 'who' wins, which is why it must always be about you.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/17 02:52 PM
7

We're actually not in disagreement, but you'd argue with a post hole digger, so by all means, do you.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/17 03:30 AM
18

She knows I'm shallow and wouldn't have married an ugly woman. You need a re-calibration. "Shallow" one shaming tactic (of many) of the FI to maintain control and satisfy their sexual strategy. Fucking beautiful women is our sexual strategy. Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies says it's zero-sum and some has to win. It's these seemingly harmless memes that whittle away and weaken your Frame. Give no ground and purge that "shallow" shit out of your Frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/17 11:28 PM
3

Good post. For a man who lives in the paradigm of maximizing value and minimizing drama, having a the skill set to vet LTRs (or even plates) is important. Ironwood's 'Wife Test' posts are still absolute gold for a high value man, regardless of the relationship you're looking for... An Introduction Attractiveness Intelligent Women Pick Winners Loyalty Red Pill Alerts
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/17 05:03 PM
0

Agreed. This is one of those "cut off your nose to spite your face" scenarios. This may work adequately when you're with a financially competent woman with minimal baggage (no emotional spending) and critical thinking skills. But if you get stuck in that blue-pilled, egalitarian "I'm going to force her to take some adult responsibility" trap, you're only fucking yourself over. How do I know? My stubborn, blue-pilled ego almost bankrupted my ass. In my young, stupider days, I used to work every h…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/17 04:37 PM
3

I initiated sex both nights and was denied, but shrugged it off with a smile. Spent the whole night last night cooking together and watching TV, hence the positive momentum and feelings. We havent spent this much time together in a while. whole bunch of covert contracts still in there... which is precisely why you lost your Frame. You're expecting (demanding) reciprocation when you should just do these things because they please you. If it doesn't please you, then do something else... and own it…
/r/askMRP02/01/17 11:31 PM
1

It's a Rollo quote, dude.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/16 06:57 PM
5

What works for me is viewing women as a separate species, with their own value systems, agendas, agency, solipsism, and problem solving methodologies, which expressly serve their mating strategy. You need to have Rollo's Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies permanently imprinted in your brain... For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own. It's a man's burden that nature gave us the distinct disadvantage of being wired to provide and protect wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/16 04:45 PM
1

Specifically? Very interested in understanding the reason behind that choice of wording.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/16 03:23 PM
2

Wrote about this 3 months ago... Lurking Cuckolds Welcome!
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/16 03:19 PM
3

This guy "just gets it".
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/16 03:05 PM
2

True remorse requires introspection and change... without it, it's just putting lipstick on the 'victimhood' pig.
/r/askMRP08/12/16 06:13 PM
4

Agreed. The one thing that a man owns that can not be taken from him is his integrity, which I interpret as 'owning what you do'. So in that respect, Integrity = congruence = Frame = owning your shit.
/r/askMRP08/12/16 04:18 PM
2

Brother, what you're feeling is very predictable. In fact, I wrote about it roughly 3 months ago... Lurking Cuckolds Welcome You've reached that critical threshold where you've acknowledged and internalized your value and now have the presence of mind to ask the hard question, "what am I getting out of this and is it worth the cost?" At the end of the day, any relationship can simply be quantified by Value vs Drama. This is only a question you can answer but, as a man who has navigated that part…
/r/askMRP08/12/16 04:12 PM
3

Absolutely. Who you are is what you do and what you allow. You do not inject yourself into unnecessary drama that does not move you forward in your vision. You do not allow others to suck you into their drama and invade your calm.
/r/askMRP07/12/16 08:07 PM
3

Maximize value, minimize drama. Now some drama can not be avoided... this was not one of them. Women want/need the emotional rollercoaster... a high value, low ego man is indifferent. We run the rollercoaster, but we don't ride it.
/r/askMRP07/12/16 07:35 PM
13

This is good stuff. OP, Read the post What would I be Doing if I Were Single Also, a great post from Illimitable Men on Monk Mode Another thought... all the shit test are coming fast and furious because making you (and the rest of the family) the bad guy distracts from her affair. Its a false equivalency. Don't give it (or her) any bandwidth.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/16 06:49 PM
11

I can tell you for a fact, you've come to the right place. The first thing you need to understand is that everything that your parents, siblings, friends, and society has told your about inter-sexual dynamics is bullshit... all of it. Culture and technology has changed over the past couple millennia, men and women have not. Men & women are still wired to respond to sexual urges and cues as our pre-historic ancestors and our brains are quite adept at conjuring culturally accepted rationalizations…
/r/askMRP07/12/16 05:09 PM
3

There are NMMNG meetups... check to see if there's one in your city.
/r/askMRP07/12/16 04:13 PM
1

“No agency, No responsibility” - Well, duh. Of course not. Oldest teenager in the house, AWALT. This is a good metaphor that is useful for the new guys who are in search of their Frame, but when you've fully internalized the RP you come to understand that it's a bit lacking. Of course women have agency. What BP men (and women) are conditioned to believe in our equalist society is that men and women have the same agency... the same values, strategies, and goals. The response to debating a woman's…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/16 03:37 PM
3

One thing is, that you shouldn't mate guard unless people show disrespectful behavior by hitting on your wife in front of you, but you shouldn't create systematically dangerous scenarios either. Agreed. mate-guarding is a 'scarcity mindset' behavior and screams low value. Until the OP's wife recognizes him as a high-value commodity she can't afford to lose, he will just have the high level of risk. The risk is always there but a high value man keeps it to a minimum through dread and the confiden…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/16 09:53 PM
2

Her telling you to get a girlfriend is BURNING red flag. This is hamster for, "I already have a boyfriend, you need to find a girlfriend so I don't feel guilty".
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/16 09:37 PM
4

OP, you're getting great advise here so I don't have too much to add... The ILYBINILWY speech is a huge red flag. In my personal experience, this hamster-ese can always (without fail) be translated into one of two things, "I'm fucking somebody else" or "I'm actively looking to fuck somebody else"... without fail. As other poster said, if you have the means, hire a PI and put this one unknown to rest. That said, don't allow this to be a distraction or morph into a huge covert contract. Stay on ta…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/16 03:53 PM
6

Deriving enjoyment from poking at your stbx is giving her more bandwidth than she deserves because you're getting something from the unnecessary drama and it has nothing to do with a positive frame... it's much closer to nursing a bruised ego than embracing the suck. Take all that wasted energy on your stbx and focus it on your kids and yourself. Take pleasure from owning your shit.
/r/askMRP01/12/16 05:01 AM
20

It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. I'm simply doing it to maintain frame and prove to her that her negative attitude will not get the best of me. I'm also doing it to have fun. I will say that maintaining frame and it causing her to hamster and go nuts is funny to watch. I'm going to call bullshit on this because this is not what maintaining Frame looks like. This is passive-aggression to feed your ego. Maintaining frame is giving 'bandwidth' to only what is in your best interest a…
/r/askMRP30/11/16 10:36 PM
2

And all the down-votes!
/r/askMRP30/11/16 10:12 PM
9

'Act like you're single' is also an excellent mindset for getting shit done and combating covert contracts. In my pre-RP, beta, NG days, I would often get steamed and sulk because my efforts were not appreciated. Enter 'Act Like You're Single'... Shit needs to get done, regardless of whether anybody's watching, because this is what functional adults do... married, single, whatever. Acta Singuli!
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 07:49 PM
1

Being right v. being happy. Yup. Had an old-school thrapist, naturally red-pilled gent, who helped me process the ex's infidelity and my journey with internalizing the red pill. He was wholly supportive of the concepts... most especially enlightened self-interest and 'owning your shit' parts. He would often say, "CNM, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy". Creedo that continues to serve me well. FWIW, he was also a huge fan of the wisdom of the Rolling Stones... "You can't always g…
/r/askMRP29/11/16 04:36 PM
1

Just walking the fuck away is highly under-rated. When I left the ex, I took personal things, some kitchen items, and left everything else... furniture, nik naks, etc. Found an apartment and literally started over from scratch. It caused some brief debt but you can not put a price tag on piece of mind. Best. Decision. Ever. One of life's lessons, which unfortunately often doesn't come until late in life, is that there is a cost to "being right", in terms of unnecessary, avoidable drama... which …
/r/askMRP29/11/16 03:26 PM
5

https://therationalmale.com/2014/11/23/vulnerability/ Acknowledging, confronting, and doing battle with your vulnerabilities is part & parcel of being a man, but short of a death in the immediate family, you never let your woman see it.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/16 10:04 PM
3

Good post. I went went through exactly this and left my previous marriage... not because IDNGAF but because I embraced abundance and my real value. When you live abundantly and respect your value, you become able to objectively and dispassionately evaluate the value your relationships return to you and cost benefit of maintaining those relationships. Sometimes those relationships don't make the cut and ending them is in your enlightened self-interest. Even when it's you wife. 4 years ago I reach…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/16 05:43 PM
3

Silence for a few minutes where her hamster was spinning at the speed of light, she then blurts out, eyes filled with tears, "What do you want, I'll do anything". Then came my verdict, "I'm going to pause the proceedings. I want a proper marriage. I want a prosperous family. My life has a woman in it. You can be that woman. I'm going to judge you by your actions". She shook her head in agreement. This was her finally entering the acceptance phase of losing ultra beta me. New guys pay attention h…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/16 06:04 AM
4

Had to laugh at the "I just kissed him" part. Personally learned the hard way that it actually means, "I raw dogged him like a bitch in heat!" My Universal Bullshit Translator (tm) is now fully upgraded and conversant in all forms of hamster-speak.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/16 05:31 PM
2

This is a major shit test and a crucial point in the relationship... who's frame will be the dominant one. It can't be stressed enough that her "unilateral decision making" is a non-negotiable ending of the relationship. Additionally, the "getting guidance" is a stalling tactic to see if you will fold. Keep further contact only to the logistics of where and when to resolve the dispute... Otherwise ghost her. Understand that feminists and the FI are waging a full-out assault on all religious inst…
/r/askMRP13/10/16 05:00 PM
2

Japanese Proverb, "Fall down 7 times, get up 8" There are no quick fixes in life and anything of real worth will necessarily take much struggle and perseverance. Success does not have to be fast. What’s more important is that one simply does their absolute best and remains persistent.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/16 06:01 PM
2

Pretty much. Men must give their wives a compelling reason to trust and enter his Frame and follow. You don't accomplish that by being an incompetent worry-wort. Until mastery and abundance become 2nd nature to you, make "Hon, I've got this" your go-to phrase. Nothing less, nothing more.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/16 05:22 PM
20

Conventional RP wisdom is that you can't have both, you have to choose... Friend or Lover. Reality is that it's a bit more nuanced than that. You have to shed the blue-pilled notion of wife = best friend. She's is your friend and of course you can share dreams, aspirations, goals, successes, intimate moments... but that's as far as it goes. Get it through your BP-programmed head that she is not your confidant. You do not share your fears, uncertainties, or doubts... commonly known as vulnerabili…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/16 04:03 PM
1

When guys read Rollo's 'Alpha' post, it's typically misunderstood. Corey W wasn't an 'alpha' because was a bad boy who got laid, he was an alpha because his frame was inviolate, immovable. Alpha isn't a demographic, it's a mindset. Alpha = Frame and everything else is just window dressing... and unnecessarily confusing to new people.
/r/askMRP10/10/16 08:22 PM
2

No, he's real and has been told before to get his shit under control. Maybe he'll listen this time... time, or a jail sentence, will tell.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/16 07:56 PM
3

Dude, unless I'm severely mistaken or having a senior moment, this is not your first rodeo here and you've been counseled in the past about you seeking professional help for your explosive temper. Your response? To tell people to fuck off and disappear until your next episode. Advise is the same... get professional help and your anger management issues under control. Additionally, as others have said, own what you have done... with your wife, your family, and your community. Accept all consequen…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/16 07:20 PM
1

I agree with /u/Flathatter45, while the opinions may vary and a woman's response to menopause is on a spectrum, my bet is that your wife's using it as a smoke screen. Roughly 1% of women experience Peri-menopause at or before age 40. Couple this with her silly 'libido' comments and you have the typical wife who's down to fuck, just not you. The painful lady-bits is a successful strategy to keep you from touching her sexually in any way. While I understand /u/BluepillProfessor's rationality for r…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/16 04:56 PM
6

Ok bro, you've made the customary victim puke and made the claims that you"get it now". You get one... this is your first and last. Talk is cheap. Now STFU and get to work. Read the sidebar. Make and execute a MAP. Post in the OYS thread and be prepared to get your ass kicked. He forgives my transgressions, so I forgive my wife’s. Several will disagree with my choice; I get it. At the end of the day, that’s what it is.. my choice. I choose to. Not out of fear, or shame, or a BP feminist mentalit…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/16 09:42 PM
1

you've done a pretty shitty job then, Bro.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/16 08:04 PM
2

I love it. Just like the standard, 'live like you were single' In this case, live like a single dad. the onus is on wifey to show that she has a place at the table Exactly. It's a beautiful thing when your mate equally lives by this credo. My wife and I playfully fuss and compete over who does the chores first, constantly one-upping the other. It's a liberating (and stress-free) dynamic when your mate is also a fully functional adult... which is built solely on the foundation of being a competen…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/16 08:02 PM
1

Her attempts to blame you for her poor figure and poor clothes are just her own failure to accept personal responsibility. Or a guilt trip to reassert control and pull you back down into her swirling abyss of misery. Regardless, /u/logger1234, life is all about choices... what we do and what we allow. Stop allowing yourself to get sucked into her frame of victimhood and misery. Keep telling yourself, "Not my monkey, not my circus".
/r/askMRP06/10/16 09:05 PM
5

Her recording was an outright setup and she thinks she got the conversation she needs to keep you in your beta lapdog pack mule place. This is all about control. Give her nothing. STFU and keep working on you.
/r/askMRP05/10/16 02:33 PM
3

I am with SK, this shitshow is over. Get lifting and reading; and for fucks sake see a lawyer stat. Start documenting all the child care each of you do, fly low and under the radar. If this yarn is true, you have a decent chance at majority custody. Mother-fucking co-sign this. Divorcing and having full/majority custody of the kids is of little difference to what the OP is doing now, except for these incredibly important features... regaining self respect & freedom. IMO, these are the only thing…
/r/askMRP04/10/16 06:59 PM
7

It seems to me, in these scenarios, 'value' is the only pertinent question. It stands to reason that for a high value man, when drama > value, then it's time to reevaluate the relationship and to determine the cost/benefit to returning back to drama < value... up to and including sending the wife packing.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 06:20 PM
1

It in no way detracts from the excellent points in your post, but my understanding is anger is a response/defense mechanism for fear of rejection. It's without a doubt socially related as humans evolved into social animals for surviveability. Rejection is our greatest fear, next to being eaten by a saber-toothed cat, because rejection meant death.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/16 08:50 PM
1

I think why is the most important question. 'Why' is fine as long as you don't become quagmired by it and can quickly move on to the 'how'. Most people will chose to be distracted by the 'why' so they don't actually have to do anything. Endless analyzing because the 'doing' part may lead to failure and we all know how scary that is.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/16 03:20 PM
1

Great post! Women are AWALT because of all kinds of reasons New guys burn this into your brains. Yes, women are AWALT because of Hypergamy, but always keep in mind that Hypergamy is an instinctive behavior that is rooted in doubt. ANYTIME you give a woman's hypergamous hamster pause to consider whether you're lower value than her, the testing and bad behavior will begin.... and it will be ALL. YOUR. FAULT. And please note that Hypergamy does not demand the 'best', just 'better than her'. So, the…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/16 02:47 PM
2

It feels like I'm holding myself to a MRP standard for the sake of an MRP standard, because most of these people here haven't had to deal with a reality such as mine. I half expect 98% of people haven't done 10% of what I have to pull myself from the pit of despair. Dude, you're far from alone. Most men are incapable of finding the RP without some emasculating, traumatic event which shatters their BP paradigm. It took the 2nd of two marriages ending in infidelity to 2x4 me over the head and brin…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/16 07:56 PM
4

OP, cut yourself some slack. You were setup. Forbidding 'Lone Alpha's' invitation would have been a DLV and failed shit test. Also, it sounds like you were a bit out of your depth with this guy. Deliberate AMOG'ing would likely have blown up in your face, as evidenced by the "take her off my hands" comment falling flat. I think you played it fairly well, given the circumstances... benign indifference and ride out the storm. Personally, I think you shouldn't have saved your wife from herself. A R…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/16 02:24 PM
3

Ok, good... now it's time to get to work. This is why we say, "The stay plan is the same as the go plan." Continue working on you, for you, becoming your physical, emotional & spiritual best. Emotional best, establishing a solid frame. Spiritual best, internalizing a universe of abundance. Get a lawyer on retainer and get your financial ducks in a row. Start the process of untangling the relationship and be deliberate and mindful of how & why you're doing it. Not for some vindictive payback, but…
/r/askMRP24/09/16 09:44 PM
1

Why do you have to move out in this dramatic way? It's one huge steaming pile of a covert contract... the more dramatic, the better. He wants her to pine for him while he's gone to to beg him to come back. He'd rather run away than do the actual hard work. Seriously, if he has a job where he can casually take 4 unpaid weeks off, then his role at work must be particularly inconsequential. If you were his wife, could you possibly respect or be attracted to that? This is a guy without direction, mo…
/r/askMRP20/09/16 03:24 AM
1

All great choices! I've been a follower of Rollo since Year 2 and, as we all, there are a few that particularly speak to me. The 1st being The Myth of the Good Guy So the archetype of the ‘Good’ guy is offered up as some sort of livable, compromised ideal. If men could aspire to embody the best of the Alpha and temper that with what they define themselves as the best of the Beta, well then he’d be the ‘perfect’ catch for any woman of course. The problem with this ‘Good Guy’ myth is not because m…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/16 02:26 PM
1

Obviously, "Be a man, not a boy" is a given, but it has zero to do with your (or any) wife's response to sexual innuendo. It's all about attraction and desire. Your wife reacts negatively to your innuendo because she's repulsed by the thought of fucking you. Make no mistake, this she wants to fuck... just not you. ANY sexual advances made to her by a man she's not attracted is 'creepy'. Let that sink in... you're that creepy guy. I guarantee that when you become an attractive male, her response …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/16 09:36 PM
2

Getting 'in touch with your Animal Alpha" is hamster for "I need a buffer to confuse the fact that I have no confidence, I live in scarcity, and I'm ruled by my fear of rejection". Try getting in touch with that. What you need to work on is frustratingly plain.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/16 03:51 PM
4

Agreed. Men here need to internalize that "No" is and will always be a complete sentence. Anything else is just DEER-ing.
/r/askMRP09/09/16 02:22 PM
1

I agree with the others that you are severely depressed and need to find a good therapist. Dr. M. Scott Peck, in 'The Road Less Traveled', describes depression (paraphrasing) as a dissonance between what we believe and what we do. We develop 'coping strategies' for and buffers against the dissonance but we eventually become psychologically exhausted and depression sets in. Your dissonance is the contrast between the essential intrinsic value we all have as human beings and your skewed, harsh per…
/r/askMRP08/09/16 05:49 PM
2

I mean, I guess it'd be nice to have a partner who pushes me to do more (in a good way), is supportive when I need her to be, brings positivity into my life, does her own interesting things, is successful, and I guess more "adoring". And fucks a lot better. But that all seems like shit a beta faggot wants and a TRP/MRP disciple shouldn't care about or rely on, aside from sex. Actually, this is a fairly reasonable list. I guarantee any wife/gf will adore you if she's attracted to you. From this l…
/r/askMRP08/09/16 12:27 AM
1

I didn't read this as beta bargaining for respect and affection... felt more like a 'Phase 4' re-stating of expectations, from within his Frame. What I saw as problematical was telling her the bar was set very low... this is more of an indictment on the OP than his wife. If the OP is as high value as he claims he is, then having the bar set low is a disturbing discongruence.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 06:04 PM
3

She's a regular reader and occasional commenter on TRM. Goes by 'Liz'. Fairly RP by her comments.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/16 04:51 PM
1

The advice for these circumstances is always the same. Own your shit, acknowledge your mistake, and use the 'failure' as a learning opportunity.... Fail better. Use "I'm sorry" with extreme prejudice. Reserve for when you've been an insensitive lout and truly hurt a loved one. Otherwise, it's a DLV that should be avoided. Acknowledge a failure (note that I did not say apologize) only once. Maintain boundaries and do not accept any emotional abuse. Knock that shit down immediately and forcefully.…
/r/askMRP07/09/16 01:46 PM
1

Wife complaining about 'selfishness' is her attempting to get control back... A&A or AM. Tone is everything. You know when she's being contemptuous or disrespectful. Neither deserves a response, let alone your valuable time... go somewhere else and be awesome. Otherwise, it's not unreasonable to acknowledge fuck-ups, but remove the word "sorry" from your vocabulary. Never forget that actions speak louder... Yes, own your shit and fail better.
/r/askMRP06/09/16 09:55 PM
3

Overall, not a bad FR. Just a couple things... Kicking her out of bed was butt-hurt. Your hamster can spin it any way it pleases, but it was still butt-hurt. You giving any significant bandwidth to her 'zingers' other than shrugging/laughing them off is sign of a poor Frame. This is still a Red... keep working at it.
/r/askMRP06/09/16 09:44 PM
5

Several issues going on here. You're still living in a scarcity mindset. Is your bestie leaving and third partner's catastrophizing a setback? Only if you allow it to be. This is not a disaster, this is a fucking opportunity! As Gunny Highway says, "Adapt! Improvise! Overcome!" Seriously, have you ever heard of Skype?!? You can still work together... just do it remotely. And your response to losing your bestie also reeks of scarcity. People move in and out of your life... always will. You made a…
/r/askMRP06/09/16 06:37 PM
2

She was over reacting and shit testing the fuck out of me I see too many new guys assume everything is a shit test... not everything is a shit test. Men tend to live in a fact-based, overt, hierarchy-driven reality, women in a emotion-based, covert, consensus-based reality. Feelz are the air in which women breathe. If she's afraid, frustrated, angry, happy, elated... you're going to hear about it and she typically wants validation for them without you being explicitly told. Nobody here is tellin…
/r/askMRP06/09/16 04:37 PM
1

Except for the communication part, the guy does have a point. He wouldn't be getting attitude, disrespect and star-fish if he wasn't communicating low value in everything he does (or doesn't do).
/r/askMRP31/08/16 04:02 PM
1

She loves you but she's not attracted to you. It's harsh but wholly predictable... She wants to date, just not you. And no doubt she's DTF, again, just not you. Women who move of their homes are either already gagging on Chad's cock or has a particular Chad in mind and wants to conduct her business with the prying eyes of husband & kids. She's going to find herself alright... With some guys(s) going caveman on her, while you're home with the kids. If she wants to leave, let her. But the kids sta…
/r/askMRP29/08/16 02:23 AM
2

Yup, Stoicism is hardly about being emotionless. Quite the opposite. It's a joyful embracing of life and all it's abundance. It's being mindfully awake and open to experiences. But, you can't be a receiver if you're always transmitting.
/r/askMRP26/08/16 01:34 PM
3

Co-signing to what A_Rex said. Her ultimatum is a setup... She knows the plan and the timeline, this is just hamstering to prepare for the branch swing so she's not the bad guy. No bullshit, she's already gone. Time to work on you, for you. To add some context here, what is the debt and who incurred it?
/r/askMRP26/08/16 01:23 PM
2

This is a "Don't go by what they say, go by what they do" moment. The words are immaterial, her actions are what counts. She deliberately starts an altercation using strong emotions in an attempt to pull you back into her Frame. Translation... She's feeling threatened. you are happily doing your own thing and acting less needy. Cardinal Rule of Relationships: The one who needs the relationship the least is the one who has the power. There also may be some passive dread at work here in her motiva…
/r/askMRP25/08/16 03:07 PM
1

Your were butt-hurt... she knew it, you knew it, and your STFU did nothing to dissuade her from her correct analysis. As a consequence, she passive-aggressively shit tested you further to find the depths of your butt-hurt... Again, you did not disappoint. I would call this a failure from start to finish.
/r/askMRP22/08/16 06:22 PM
2

Not surprised. Michelle Langley describes the lead up and the aftermath, in 'Woman's Infidelity II'. Puts the blame squarely on women and fem-centric society. Although she's not red pilled, she has a good understanding of evo-pysch and how women are wired. Money shot... All women want is a man who will stand up to them. Describes in detail why women get pissed when husband doubles down on the Beta. Quick and worthy read, IMO.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 05:06 PM
1

FWIW, it's called 'Community Info' on the Reddit apps. So, yeah, it's not that hard to find... People just want their ego kibbles.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 01:09 PM
1

I think you're conflating the Cuckolds with the Stubbornly BP Chumps or MGTOWs that show up here. Most come knowing that they have work to do and a goal in mind. The problem is it's the wrong goal. Our fem-centric society has beat them into submission with "women good, men bad" and a terminal case of scarcity mindset. They're so thoroughly programmed, they can't fathom they have options other than taking the cheating skank back and/or doubling down on the crap that caused the breakdown in the fi…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/16 11:14 PM
10

The problem is most of these guys do have value, but not the value that they think they have. They're respected in their chosen fields of work, faithful husbands, hard-working domestic partners, doting fathers. Unfortunately, (a fem-centric) society has fed them 'pretty lies' about how to live a meaningful, fulfilling life, put them on the treadmill, and shames them for wanting their basic needs to be met. A modicum of compassion is not unreasonable. To be brutally honest, many of us 'on the pat…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/16 08:07 PM
3

Thanks. Been working on this, off & on, per your suggestion... As you know, Life is what happens while you're busy making plans. Countpudyoola's excellent 'chill out' post inspired me to finish.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/16 07:20 PM
2

The statistics are more fucked up than the kids. There are plenty of studies that show two happy, healthy, separate parents who jointly focus on the well-being of the kids is significantly better than two miserable, toxic, married parents who are incapable of showing their children what a loving, inter-dependent relationship looks like.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/16 06:39 PM
1

And that quasi-moral code was fed to you by a feminine-centric society that has been in the making for the past 40-50 years. Digest that for a bit and explain to us when you're ready why you still want to abide by that fucked-up code. Scarcity Mindset, fueled by poor esteem, is your biggest roadblock. Continue on the path, Read the MRP sidebar, and rebuild yourself as the center of your universe. You'll be fine.
/r/askMRP17/08/16 03:25 PM
1

Don't talk, just DO. If life is great, make it awesome, but do it according to your vision of the life you want. If it's truly awesome, she will follow. Oh, yeah... You're a prime candidate for the stickied post at the top, Dont fix her problem..., Fix yours.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/16 03:07 PM
1

And the lying about it makes it all okay, right?
/r/askMRP17/08/16 03:19 AM
2

I call bullshit on Alpha being unattainable for you. Agreed. Alphas tend to be muscle men but the key to their Alpha-ness is actually a psychological accomplishment rather than a physical one. Exactly. This is a very important distinction of causality here. Ripped does not necessarily = Alpha, but Alpha often = Ripped because Alpha men internalize the necessity of being their best version. Frame = Alpha and Alpha = Frame. There is a reason why 'Frame' is Rollo's Iron Rule #1 and why he says, "Al…
/r/askMRP16/08/16 10:48 PM
4

You already know enough about this woman to next her, let alone 'wife her up'... A woman in a committed relationship does not isolate with other men. Any more information is extraneous and produces unnecessary drama. As /u/Countpudyoola stated, the 'Stay Plan' is the same as the 'Go Plan'. Work and focus on you and use her like she's using you. The moment she's no longer adding value, send her on her way without an explanation... she doesn't deserve one. Edit: Typos
/r/askMRP16/08/16 05:57 PM
3

The end goal is for my wife to un-fuck herself I hope this is a poor choice of words. If not, it shows you have a long way to go to understanding the red pill. TRP is always about you. Keep going... you'll get there.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/16 07:46 PM
1

Bullshit. Baring any kind of abuse, when a woman tells you she wants a break, it typically means she's either thinking about fucking Chad or is already fucking Chad. Neglecting nature (minor genetic variation) and FOO issues, women are wired (as are men) to behave consistently to their evolutionary programming. This whole "human beings are higher order animals and not slaves to their sexual impulses" is absolute bullshit... Infidelity rates (which are typically under reported) are proof of that.…
/r/askMRP15/08/16 12:35 PM
1

Only I got the msg too and had turned off data immediately. So I told her, she didn't believe me, I texted back "whatever", she called me a jerk, I texted back "You're adorable when you're fiesty", which I believe kicked off the convo. "whatever" is passive-aggressive and weak. This is what kicked off the convo. Unlike "No", "whatever" is not a complete sentence. In this context it's dismissive, contemptuous, displays a total lack of Frame and whiny butthurt. There are a few words that are a nas…
/r/askMRP12/08/16 06:58 PM
1

Not to detract from the quality of his comment, but what he wrote above applies to 95% of the sad-sacks that come here. He could cut & paste it exactly, not change a word, and still be as insightful and thought provoking. It's nature and nuture... Men's brains are all wired relatively the same and they're all filled with the same BP nonsense. It's not surprising that they come here, all running the same script.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 05:03 PM
1

lol, no doubt!
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 02:01 AM
2

Absolutely, but this woman has done the cock carousel and is clearly now on a mission to have babies before her uterus dries up. The clock is ticking and before long even the thirsty betas won't want her. MMV =/= SMV.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 09:37 PM
2

Ok, bud, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but on the surface it looks just like a typical troll post with the blue-pillers down-voting everything. Yeah, it's a bit harsh but everyone here is absolutely on the level... you're headed for a disaster of biblical proportions if you don't turn yourself around. You guys have made me realize that this problem is in my hands to control and I feel like I lost a piece of me over the past year or so catering to her Everyone has a story to tell here a…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 09:23 PM
6

Until the supply of goes down as she ages, it's still worthless to her. She's 36. Past the wall and eggs rapidly turning to dust. I'd say she's close to worthless now and the OP has no clue how appallingly bad and overpriced the deal he got.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 08:05 PM
-3

You came here for help, these guys are giving you the straight dope and your response is to be a passive-aggressive bitch? Get this through your thick, dumb ass skull... your new bride is the stereotypical cock carousel rider who hit the wall and frantically settled for a clueless beta bux... that would be you. You're nothing more than an ATM and a baby daddy. Read ALL the provided links and the /MRP sidebar like your life depends on it... because it does. I do all the cooking and cleaning in th…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 07:07 PM
6

I've always looked at "MAP as a covert contract" as part of the process of 'red-pill grieving'. Regardless of whether it's contemptuous disrespect, a dead bedroom, or infidelity, most men take up residence in 'Bargaining' with the stubborn belief that, "If I just sprinkle some Alpha on it and do these 'things', then my respectful, adoring, sexual wife will come back to her senses, life will be good, and I can go back to my old lazy, drunken ways" Many of us 'on the other side' laugh (now) at our…
/r/askMRP10/08/16 06:04 PM
2

Maybe OI, maybe IDNGAF, is breaking a cycle and treating her like the wife he wants a little instead of the wife that (according to TRP theory) HE made. Maybe he didn't do this by being beta lovey nice guy..maybe he's a cold, catholic-guilt ridden, joyless man. Maybe, but he sure sounds like a beta lovey nice guy in his posts, so I'm inclined to suspend disbelief and assume he's a hapless beta chump until proven otherwise. It's more likely that she's an entitled harpy who despite his financial c…
/r/askMRP05/08/16 09:31 PM
1

I didn't have much of a choice... I met my wife on MMSL. I can tell you that having two fully functional adults with RP awareness as a foundation, can create a marriage that is equally satisfying and challenging. Can't speak for other RP marriages, but while there is much teasing & playful pushing to up our respective games, we don't use TRP as a bludgeon... it's actually strangely synergistic. When you know the other is equally committed to being their best version, it shortcuts what little con…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/16 05:44 PM
1

I read it more as a 'pre-justification', expecting/preparing against push-back for a perceived lack of experience. Everyone here has varying levels of experience, but it doesn't preclude you from contributing to the conversation. Give yourself some credit for what you do know. If you can add value, then be bold and own it.
/r/askMRP04/08/16 03:33 PM
1

Of course it's a fact but you add that disclaimer (or some variation) to almost every comment you make. It's a behavior that signals a lack of confidence and ownership in what you know. How about trying some 'irrational confidence'? Be the smartest, baddest motherfucker in the room.. own it. I guarantee if you start practicing this, you're Frame development will shift into Ludicrous Speed. 48 Laws of Power
/r/askMRP04/08/16 02:52 PM
2

take my comments with a grain of salt I guarantee you'll get a nice up-tick in your DHV by knocking off the self-deprecating shit. Unless you're intentionally applying Law #21, it's a passive validation seeking ploy and signals low value.
/r/askMRP04/08/16 12:39 PM
5

/u/bigcorpthrowaway Read this post at least twice and let it sink it. If you keep making steady progress, you'll still be months away from her Main Event. It's her last ditch attempt to rebel against accepting your Frame... this wasn't it. It was a shit test, at best. She won't accept your Frame until it's worth accepting. It's not... yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/16 03:24 PM
5

People that say Yes I can their default to everything is Yes, I can do that, get that, make that work, etc. Wife & I deliberately approach everything with a 'Default Yes!' attitude... Marriage, sex, family, work, leisure, new experiences. With one caveat... 'default yes' means saying YES to YOU. And saying yes to you may mean saying no to others... relationships, activities, bad behaviors, etc. If it's not adding value, then it's not worthy of your most precious commodity. Obstacles are merely s…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/16 07:24 PM
6

Abundance and Scarcity... the only time you can say,"There's two types of people in this world" and you'd be right. I can watch/listen to any person for just a few minutes and accurately predict which world/mindset they live in. Make no mistake, the people who live in an abundant mindset thrive and rule.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/16 07:01 PM
1

Forget 'Alpha displays'. At your stage, they will come off as comical and pathetic. You're primary 'headwork' must be cultivating and maintaining your Frame. If you had a proper, internalized Frame, you wouldn't engage in ridiculous 'Alpha displays' because Frame = Alpha and the thought just wouldn't cross your mind. If you had a proper, internalized Frame, you would innately understand that 'Option 1' is the only option. If you had a proper, internalized Frame, you wouldn't be hamstering about …
/r/askMRP02/08/16 06:49 PM
2

She's quiet, and guys are getting freaked out. Yup, like a woman being quiet is a bad thing? If you're giving any of you're bandwidth to a woman's 'mood', guess whose Frame you're in? Seriously, how is this shit so hard to understand?!?
/r/askMRP02/08/16 04:19 PM
2

You don't argue, you state expectations. "As a high value married male, I expect my wife to meet my physical needs." Nothing else need be said. Please note that it's very helpful if you are, in fact, a high value male. Otherwise it can be potentially embarrassing when she calls you on your bullshit by laughing at you. With regards to her need to allay her guilt, standard disclaimer applies... She alone is responsible for her feelings. Never provide cover for her hamster, she needs to own it.
/r/askMRP01/08/16 03:21 PM
2

I will add "Do something about it and STFU!" Nothing burns me up more than listening to somebody complain about a decision they made... Total lack of ownership and victim hood. Your life is defined by what you do and what you allow. If you choose a path: Own it and go all-in STFU Embrace the suck Continue until it no longer makes sense to do so, then pick a new path and go back to Step 1. Nobody wants to hear that your life is so hard... Least of all your wife. Nothing will make her vagina slam …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/16 06:54 PM
3

This has 'affair' written all over it. A woman does not leave her home and her kids without an agenda... Usually her wanting to fuck some other guy. If you were abusing her, she'd try to take the kids. My bet is you're a clueless, beta schmuck just trying to do right by your family and she's 'getting into her career' by gagging on strange cock. The "amicable, uncontested" shit is another dead giveaway... very small part of her feeling guilty for abandoning her family so she's throwing y'all a bo…
/r/askMRP25/07/16 02:47 PM
1

Yup, I've said many times here, "You receive what you project". If you wonder why you keep hooking up with low esteem, CC-riding, BSC women with daddy issues, it's because you project low value and attract low value women. If you wonder why your wife is a ball buster, constantly shit testing and doesn't trust you, it's because you're a drunk captain, you project incompetence, and your wife is pissed she has to lead.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/16 08:03 PM
2

I will argue that it is because we are our Mental Point of Origin, our 'DNA' does not get a free pass and is held to to same standards we hold for ourselves, and from that extension, their best interests are also maintained... often in spite of themselves. My oldest (34 yo) used to be a fucking disaster. About a year and a half ago, he was close to rock bottom, bi-polar, using drugs, unable to hold a job for more than a couple weeks... he and his BPD gf shacked up with his mother (my ex). She wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/16 09:08 PM
1

OP totally misses point of red pill and 'sprinkles some Alpha on it' with some ridiculously obvious, inept active dread. Wife sees right through it and decides to give beta chump husband a dose of his own medicine with expertly ease. Hilarity ensues and man-child husband has a temper tantrum. Did I miss anything?
/r/askMRP21/07/16 03:46 PM
5

Great post with so many levels of truth. If you chase a dog, she will think it's a game and will milk it for every last drop.. If you walk away, her need for approval/validation/love kicks in and she will follow you, the AMOG. Yup, women are exactly the same, they instinctively need to follow. It's our job to give them a compelling reason to do so.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/16 02:47 PM
1

Her medicine is for her lady parts but she is not taking them. I now believe she really needs to take them because shes a fucking monster when its her period. Look at your posts... most of them are about her and how you're a victim in all this. Seriously and sincerely, knock that shit off. You can't make her take her meds, you can't control her, but you can control you. You can control your Frame. You can control how you respond. You can work on your issues to improve you. Start talking about wh…
/r/askMRP20/07/16 11:21 PM
1

Contrary to others, I think a conversation with her dad is reasonable and inevitable. He's going to come home to an irrational, ranting daughter (his 1st clue that something is amiss) in his house and want to know "wtf!". He'll talk to her, but based on his past behavior, he'll come to you for the other have of the story. You don't complain, you don't whine, you state facts. It's crucial that you're the adult in the room and his daughter is the temper-tantrum throwing child. I'm suggesting this …
/r/askMRP20/07/16 11:12 PM
2

2) Ultimatums when you're not ready to give ultimatums... if you sense that she still doesn't respect you don't toss orders around, because you will get shot down and end up worse. Replace 'ultimatums' with 'statement of expectations'. NEVER give an ultimatum, it's an act of desperation and the penultimate DLV. OTOH, a statement of expectations as a high value male is always reasonable. With one caveat... You have to actually be a high value male. Additionally, your expectations must be made fro…
/r/askMRP20/07/16 06:47 PM
3

From what I can tell of your description, you've handled it fairly well with no unrecoverable errors. I'm more concerned about about you're not telling us, because my gut is telling me there's more than what you've disclosed... guys come here and trickle-truth, much like cheaters do. If there's more, regardless of how bad a light it puts you in, we need to know in order to give the best advise. Regardless, you can not capitulate on your boundaries with regards to her unreasonable need to know yo…
/r/askMRP20/07/16 03:43 PM
2

I started a personal inventory of Alpha and Beta traits to enhance and balance. I've immediately cut out some Beta behaviors. Focus less (ideally, not at all) on traits on more on establishing Frame and being your Mental Point of Origin When you're naturally in your Frame, the behaviors come naturally. So, don't force it or you'll just come off as unbelievable and pathetically desperate. You will eventually come to understand that Alpha is a state of mind, not a demographic. For inspiration, thi…
/r/askMRP14/07/16 10:49 PM
2

This is an excellent post with the proper cautions. Time is your most precious commodity. People will judge your value by how freely you give your time and treat you accordingly. All relationships (with people, work, events, things, even yourself) must be gauged by the value it returns. Strip away what doesn't add value, and if you're 'half-assing' any relationship then hold your self accountable for the disrespect you're showing to others and especially yourself. But by the same token, if you e…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 09:08 PM
1

Though smile more, I don't, but should. I have perfected the 'dead pan'... a look that's unreadable & completely devoid of emotion. Stops people, and especially my wife, in their tracks. Creating an element of mystery where people have no clue what you're thinking is off-putting and knocks them squarely into your frame. Laws #3, #4, and #17 are invaluable, but use them with a mindfully appropriate constraint.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 06:43 PM
3

Probably the first time I have effectively taken the lead You're correct and you saw first hand how solid Frame, owning and handling your shit will be received. 'Not giving a fuck' is as misunderstood to noobs as 'STFU'. Of course you give a fuck about the things in your life, but you do it from a frame of how you spend your most precious commodity (time), what you will allow (a mindful balance), and a thoughtful prioritization of what is in your best interest (constant improvement). I think a m…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 04:11 PM
2

I second on reading the sidebar before you do anything else. If you had, you would know Rollo's Iron Rule #7 The fact that she doesn't understand why her desire is waning and is distraught about it is not far-fetched. It's definitely rooted in being too available and signalling low value. More time with your buddies, studying the sidebar, lifting and being generally busy is in order.
/r/askMRP12/07/16 09:50 PM
1

My old man is thoroughly a natural alpha but (as yours, no doubt) is deeply invested in the blue-pill paradigm and would often say similar 'conventional wisdoms'. As red pill aware men, we know that we can be both, but it requires effort, diligence, and discipline... and certain amount blind-ass luck in choosing a mate before we were given the right tools to properly choose (or not). If we choose poorly and our mate is hell-bent to be miserable and drag everyone down with her, then 'right' and '…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 09:24 PM
1

Rollo's post draws a very sharp contrast to men 'loving idealistically' and women 'loving opportunistically' and open hypergamy has put men on the ropes. Without a doubt, the current 'Sugar Babies' phenomena is not about sex... it's about the lack of emotional intimacy that men require in addition to sex that men do not get from their wives... it's been equally transactionalized and perverted. I agree with your premise, if your wife is not adding value to your life on your terms, then your only …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 05:35 PM
3

Before you get all butt-hurt, understand that folks here subscribe to the metaphor "God helps those who help themselves". We get so many weak, clueless men-children here that want their hands held and to be spoon-fed... not going to happen. Either come here 'all-in', with a "Fuck yeah!" attitude, or move on. As you read the sidebar and top posts you will see re-occurring themes such as "kill your ego" and concepts such as Frame. /u/stonepimpletilists, above, just tested both your ego and your Fr…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 05:07 PM
1

She asked if I had scheduled a counselor. I did call and not reach a couple BPD experienced counselors to help the kids through this mess. I told her I had called but had not heard back yet. She said that since I did not setup a counselor she would be contacting a mediator and our realtor. You recognize this for the delay / blame-shifting tactic that it was right? She sets up impossible / constantly shifting goals to ensure that you're the bad guy/fuck-up so she can walk away with her ego intact…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 04:51 PM
1

Here's what you're up against... She's 24, the wall is but a dream, highly hypergamous, still longing for the cock carousel, and you're not even close to being her Alpha High Score. If she 'settles' for you, she'll always be wondering what more she coulda had, and you'll be gaming her for the rest of your life 24/7 and the moment you break concentration, you're fucked. A significant part of being red pill aware is understanding risk mitigation... This ones not a good risk.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/16 12:52 AM
2

Ok, let's put it this way... She said she's okay with you watching her fucking other guys but not okay with you fucking other women. This is the woman you're going to marry? This is the woman who will bear your kids? This is the woman you're trusting to not gut you like a fish in a frivorce?!?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/16 12:38 AM
1

Good TED Talk but very old news. If you had searched first, you would have found it already covered.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/16 10:28 PM
6

The betrayed's script is as predictable as the POS cheaters. LOL, I could have written this shit. My ex fucked a co-worker in hotels after work, fucked him in our car at lunch in a kid's park (multiple times), etc. And the trickle-truthing... OMFG! OP, doesn't realize it now, but coming here and telling his pathetic story of cuckoldry is the first day of the rest of his new life. I made all the same mistakes he made and, in spite of it all, still found the red pill and transformed my life. Like …
/r/askMRP07/07/16 08:25 PM
1

During ovulation, A woman's hypergamous nature will not allow 'inferior sperm' inside her. The fact that the wife 'allows' sex during shark week is also a huge tell. OP has been weighed, measured, and found wanting. Additionally, being butt-hurt about just confirms to her hamster what her lizard brain already knows... OP is not worthy. OP, keep lifting, keep working on the Sidebar, keep working on your Frame... keep improving.
/r/askMRP07/07/16 07:29 PM
1

I agree with other posters. Having a vision, being passionate about what you do, and getting shit done weighs more heavily than any specific dollar value. That said, any social proof from what you do is a huge bonus. For example, I absolutely love what I do. I wake up excited every morning for the challenges the day will bring. My wife totally feeds on that and expresses often how that adds to her attraction to me. Additionally, I'm a bit of an 'exotic animal' (my wife's words) in my field of wo…
/r/askMRP07/07/16 03:56 PM
2

I can blame high workload and stress for not being in the mood (if she raises any issue). Or say nothing. You owe her nothing, let alone an explanation. Women talk, men do... your actions will speak loudly. Get your shit together, focus on yourself, start enjoying life.
/r/askMRP07/07/16 03:32 PM
4

Just say "I saw your phone, I know what you did and what you're doing. It's not going to work out." This is all that has to be said. She violated the contract, you're done. End. Of. Story. And yeah, stop fucking her.
/r/askMRP07/07/16 03:19 PM
1

You still can't control her. You can change and learn to control yourself. This is the "There is no spoon" moment. Men come to MRP to 'fix' their wives or their marriage. Even though we tell them, "sorry buddy, we don't do that, we fix men", they still make the Faustian bargain and settle into this purple-pilled purgatory of bargaining for their old life back where their gf (now wife) was fucking them silly, twice a night. This guy is no different... If anything, he has a Herculean ego that will…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 09:58 PM
9

You didn't read it all the way through. Kids do fine when both parents cooperate for the best interests of the kids. The problem? Women have been taught that they don't have to cooperate and can use their legal advantage to hamstring you and/or turn you into an obedient slave. If you stay with this batshit crazy woman, you will continue to be emasculated in front of your children... Do you think that's particularly healthy for them? To see their #1 male role model act like miserable pussy? Kids …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 09:39 PM
2

If you truly view your time as a precious commodity and you only give it to people who add value and please you, then it's perfectly acceptable to say so. It's not butt hurt, it's not hyperbole, it's fact.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/16 05:27 PM
2

Short answer, no. Long answer, fuck no. This ^ Best tool in a RP man's box is "No is a complete sentence." The only man a woman will respect is one who tells them "no". Behind every woman who is worthy of 'wife-ing up' is a father who ruled with a firm hand and said "no, you're not doing that" often. My wife's father is a retired Coast Guard Capt... mastered the large ships & taught at the Academy. Moving a bit slower at 87, but sharp as a tack, and an immovable Frame. Educational & entertaining…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/16 12:50 PM
1

Too bad you accepted everyones advice to 'not be ready' sit down, and go back to stewing patiently. That advise can be situationally useful, and I've given it in the past, but it's almost universally misunderstood or misinterpreted. It's ok to say "I don't know yet" because the 'Stay' & 'Go' plans are always the same... Work on you, figure out who you are and what you want (most people are pathetically clueless about this) and the answers to your burning questions will arrive because of the proc…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 02:44 PM
3

Young man, you are getting gold from /u/Countpudyoola and others too many to mention. Another thing that strikes me by reading your 'personal cliff notes' is that you have an air of 'Good Guy' about you, not to be confused with Nice Guy (tm). You have a list there which screams for validation as to why you're a 'good catch' for this woman and why she should be loyal, appreciative, and aroused by you. You're still very steeped in your blue-pilled narrative of how the world works and it will be yo…
/r/askMRP27/06/16 09:47 PM
2

LOL, it's funny that you ask this because Ian Ironwood's 'Wife Test' series of blog posts will give you the answers you need. Here, I did the hard work so you don't have to... An Introduction Attractiveness Intelligent Women Pick Winners Loyalty Red Pill Alerts These are absolute gold, read every one of them. They will literally save your life. They may also provide some context to your particular situation.
/r/askMRP27/06/16 09:20 PM
1

I will take what /u/druganswer said one step further. Men & women are not equal, shouldn't be treated as such, and I could care less if it's considered sexist. Men & women have very different biological imperatives and hormonal responses. As we all know, women love very differently and women respond very differently to oxytocin. The playing field is not level and there is much more at stake for a man with regards to monogamy. As a result, women should and must be held to a higher standard in ord…
/r/askMRP27/06/16 09:10 PM
1

As an 'old guy' who has some experience in this... In all cases, your life will implode only because you allow it to. Self-love, self-respect, Frame, abundance mentality... these are all choices, they all require mindful intent and a force of will. You do what is right for you because nothing less will suffice. And they're all inter-twined... you can't have one without the others. And you, yourself, admit that you have problems with abundance... You've been weighed, measured, and found wanting. …
/r/askMRP27/06/16 07:26 PM
4

Couples therapy isn't worth it either. Couples who have to go to therapy should work on each other, not on "the relationship". Couples therapy always concentrates on the H and W "learning to communicate better" which always means H needs to do/not do/be/not be whatever W wants. The W and the therapist gang up on the H, and present H with a list of all the things he should do, not do, be and not be, and if he fixes these things, then the marriage will be "better". And H needs to "get in touch wit…
/r/askMRP27/06/16 06:46 PM
2

Is it a good dread tactic to let my wife know this girl is after my cock, or is it beta as fuck? I can see reasoning on both sides, but I want to get the expert's take on it Dude, the fact that you're thinking about it is beta as fuck. The fact that you're asking us is beta as fuck. Active dread is a beta move because you're in her frame... And be honest with yourself, the base motivation is a pathetic need for validation. No worries, just take this as a sign that you have more work to do. Patie…
/r/askMRP25/06/16 02:05 PM
5

Yup, I get it... your sister is an abuser and uses strong emotions to control family members and holds everyone hostage. I know this is a huge shit sandwich, but regardless of the relationship, in your heart you know the rules are the same. You are not responsible for your sister's strong emotions and bad behavior. You are not responsible for your parent's emotional response to your sister's bad behavior. You are not responsible for your wife & children's response to your sister. You are only re…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 08:13 PM
1

Great post! I would add that you will attain true Outcome Independence in all facets of your life only when your Abundance Mentality becomes unconditional.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 06:28 PM
3

Given that 93% of communication is non-verbal, this is at the core of why we tell noobs to STFU. A man is better served by focusing on body language and tone of voice. Again, which is why the rule of thumb is "what you say it is less important than how you say it".
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 05:51 PM
1

Let's take the 'adding value' concept one step further... If we 'next' a woman because she's not 'adding value', then it's reasonable to expect men get 'nexted' (cheated on, branch swung, etc) because he's not adding value. So the question begs... what is adding value and how much of it is perception based? Stated simply, a woman adds value by virtue of her feminine strengths she brings to the table that a man needs and a man by the masculine strengths the woman needs. So, a woman behaving like …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 04:43 PM
3

Your mission statement shouldn't even be a "relationship" mission statement. It should be a u/kickaxe mission statement that you demonstrate to her through your acts. She can then sign on by following, or not. Agreed. Just the idea of needing a 'Relationship Mission Statement' is a display of low value. High value men, who operate from being their Mental Point of Origin, prioritize themselves and their Mission/Vision/Passion... a woman, and the relationship, will never at the center. At best, a …
/r/askMRP23/06/16 07:20 PM
1

How much alcohol do you drink? Also, there's studies that claim low serotonin is connected to PE and SSRI's help. Talk to your doctor about it.
/r/askMRP23/06/16 04:56 PM
4

Yeah, without more detail from the OP, I'm inclined to write this one off as a troll. You guys obviously don't around much. MMSL is rife with these guys... Deer in the headlights, broken down, lost, confused. I tend to be more empathetic because our fem-centric society, single moms, beta dads, etc has create these chumps who have no clue how a positively masculine male behaves. Male shaming and gender confusion is so pervasive that having a basic level of self respect is not as common-sensical a…
/r/askMRP23/06/16 12:56 PM
1

Agreed. I spoken on this numerous times... if you're self actualized, at the top of your game, owning your shit and they're not adding value, next! Unfortunately, the vast majority of men can not in good conscious make that claim... they're shitty captains, drunk at the rudder of an Exxon Valdez. Most men fail at looking in the mirror and asking the hard questions... it's not your wife, it's you.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/16 06:35 PM
11

to take ownership on solving a problem "I got this" This is the perfect conversation closer. Whatever it is, crush it and not another word. Next! Few things get a woman wetter than watching a competent man, effortlessly getting shit done.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/16 04:49 PM
1

We spend too much time wondering why our wife sucks and our life is shit because of that. What passes for men these days have become so feminized that they focus on the 'feelz' which (as especially for women) results in vesting their self worth and energy into ridiculous shit that often adds zero value to their life. Men today are incapable of understanding that their wife sucks BECAUSE their life is shit. Basic, systemic failure to critically investigate and understand the numerous chains of ca…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/16 04:01 PM
2

Your obstinate ignorance is mind boggling. You're currently in one marriage that you've thoroughly fucked up without asking yourself why and now you're jumping to another woman, thinking that it will fix everything. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Contrary to what your massive ego is telling you, you are not an entitled victim, you are a petulant man-child who is the central actor to a fucking Greek tragedy unfolding about …
/r/askMRP22/06/16 02:49 PM
1

Thanks for the clarification. High estradiol levels can be a contributor to low-T... again, healthy eating can mitigate that. If you're new to the red pill, don't believe all the 'misogyny' crap you read about. Many come frustrated and angry, but the vast majority are here because they love women and want to be successful in their relationships. What the RP provides are the tools to have a value-added relationship that is in your best interest. How can that be a bad thing? Go all-in, you won't r…
/r/askMRP21/06/16 05:40 PM
2

I've checked your post history, so I can see you're a first-timer here who's been searching answers. You've come to the right place. The 800 lb gorilla is your ED issues. Regardless of what she says, ED is a DLV (display of low value) and hypergamously spurs her to look for better genetic potential. Couple that with beta/submissive behavior and you have the proverbial train wreck in slow motion. Seriously, marrying her will not fix your relationship problem. It signals you as having the weaker p…
/r/askMRP21/06/16 04:33 PM
1

This is exactly what my wife & I do. We deposit into joint account monthly and pay house, utilities, insurance, etc from it, splitting responsibilities according to mutually agreed ratios. We keep a many thousands buffer in the account for emergencies and I know to the penny how much belongs to whom. We have one joint credit card which we use for groceries, restaurants, incidentals, etc, which we pay off the total balance every month. Again, I keep track to the penny how much each of us is respo…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/16 03:33 PM
4

Milo is The Man... I have a non-homosexual man crush on the brutal way he takes down the feminists. Yep, you're exactly right... the golden vagina has no allure to distract gay men from their masculinity... very ironic that gay men like Milo and Jack Donovan have become (along with red pillers) one of the last bastions of positive masculinity. Have you read Jack Donovan's 'The Way of Men'? IMO, it should on the graduate sidebar, along 'Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man'
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 09:35 PM
1

Yeah, Magellan's are fairly rare now. Emerald Shellback, my brother... got close to a Golden but no doubt you know that 'Needs of the Navy' shit. Lol, we had plenty of buds writing back to tell us how great the money was on the outside. But that was many moons and many jobs ago... was in '79 to '87. It IS funny how the older you get, you remember more of the great days and less of the shitty ones.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 07:52 PM
1

lol, yup... describes my 1st ex to a 'T'. She spent to the limits of our budget every month and I was too 'blue' to understand her 'agenda' and too shitty of a captain to put a clamp on her. It was her stupidity and my dumb luck that got me untangled from that hot mess... The RP wasn't even a glimmer. The now 'red', self-prioritized, in-command version of me is in complete control. I'm in a field where experience and wisdom is highly valued and you work until it's not fun anymore. Regardless of …
/r/askMRP20/06/16 07:44 PM
1

Lol. If I was proud of it like that, I wouldn't be ex Lol, ain't that the truth. For most, the Navy is a love/hate relationship, AT BEST. I loved what I did, operating the Ferrari of nuclear reactors, and seeing the world... Order of Magellan, so yeah I saw a big chunk of it. But, the months at sea and the monotony made me crazy. When I was close to EOS, they offered me chief and I laughed... sent out one resume and already had a job lined up making 5+ times more.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 07:26 PM
2

Just carry on. You know you could turn it over and the bills would be paid and accounting would be good. But the arguably more important part of thrift and saving would go by the wayside. This smells like the core of why she's pushing back so hard. She doesn't want OP tracking her spending... YNAB would provide a trail to her poor spending habits. Also, the OP's comment about 'balance transfer hopping' is very concerning. It implies a pattern of constant credit debt, which is just shitty captain…
/r/askMRP20/06/16 06:47 PM
3

Hey, I get it. As a newly unplugged who's still in the 'purple haze' of both worlds, it's totally logical to tell your wife that "you're improving" because... "hey baby! look, I'm communicating!" She may stop disrespecting, nagging, etc and let you do your thing. Now that she knows they're forthcoming, she'll give you a 'cookie' for each improvement you make. A little harmless validation is a good thing, right? What you've unknowingly done has put your marriage on 'super hard mode'. I know, beca…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 05:15 PM
7

Expecting your kids to appreciate it usually has to wait until about age 25. Exactly this. Raising kids and getting to see the fruits of your labor is the ultimate test in delayed gratification.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 01:28 AM
1

I hear you... We're a collective here and we all have our stories. There is no one 'right way' to handle a shit sandwich like this. It's not that "once bridge is crossed, there are no rules", I take a principled stand that a tragedy of lies and deceit should not be compounded with more lies and deceit. 55, raised 5 kids, 20 to 33 yo. I've personally experienced it twice... Don't wish it on anybody once. I've discussed my 'journey to enlightenment' in previous posts and I won't rehash it... But y…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 01:06 AM
1

I've seen this play out more times than I care to, personally and via close friends, there is no ideal scenario and there is no keeping it from your kids. Wayward spouses are too deeply buried into fantasy land to realize that when they parade their affair partner around the kids (and they always do), kids are smart, they'll put it together, as soon as they can do the timeline math... That could be tomorrow or 10 years from now, but it will happen. In all seriousness, would you rather your kids …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/16 10:12 PM
1

That's because you ARE being a bitch. And all the covert contracts are making me puke. I'm going to get a few things sorted out. Sounds very actionable. What the fuck does this even mean? Have you read NMMNG or WISNIFG? Are you lifting? Post your action items and any progress in the OYS thread, otherwise GTFO... the advise here isn't free, you have to bust your ass and pay yourself for it.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 07:26 PM
2

This ^ Single, straight guys are in short supply in NYC. A confident, high value man fucking crushes it, there.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 07:04 PM
2

Agreed. Having gone through this with children, except for the professional 'Reconciliation Complex' therapists, you will find few advocates of children being kept totally in the dark. At some point, when it's age appropriate, they must know. The consensus of what I've read is that trauma of an adult child finding out later on their own and having to re-write much of their history is very damaging. You are not doing them any favors by a hiding betrayal to the whole family. You don't tell your ki…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 05:27 PM
1

Great minds, and all that.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 04:09 PM
2

Envision what your perfect day would look like... Where & how you're living, following your passion(s), friends who add value, and who you choose to share it with. Anything that's not in your 'perfect day', develop a detailed, measurable plan to get it. Anything in your present life you don't see that perfect day? Strip it out... sooner the better because it's distracting you and holding you back.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 04:07 PM
2

I agree. There's some truth to "shit needs to get done", whether she's there or not, but if your spouse is not adding value by pulling her weight domestically, emotionally, sexually, financially, etc... then you might as well be getting shit done alone. Next. Gone. Done.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 03:58 PM
6

and the influx of the phrase "good beta." I hate the phrase "good beta"... ain't no such thing. There is only good alpha, bad beta, and a super massive black hole in between. Whether it's leadership, provisioning, comfort, emotional connection and availability, sex, and most importantly commitment to self, it all boils down to a context of intent and execution. Why, how, and for who are you doing it... quaintly known as Frame. You're either doing it because: It makes you 0.1% better It forwards …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/16 03:44 PM
2

Men bond differently than women, our response to oxytocin sees to that... have you ever heard of 'wife googles'? It's a real thing and it gives you a bit of wiggle room to owning your shit and getting it together that men do not have the luxury of enjoying... so don't squander this opportunity. Men are pretty simple in what we need... We want a woman who is feminine, well-kept, submissive, respectfully and smart enough to 'take the conn' when we go off on 'away missions'. We want a woman who is …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 09:38 PM
3

And I am in the midst of doing that now, but only halfway through the exercises. Excellent. The OYS thread would be the perfect venue to accept critiques on your progress with this 'Red'. How big of a man would find opportunity in someone else's confusion to boost their own sense of worth by calling that person a cunt without saying what to do instead? And look how easy it was for him to be provocative and knock you squarely out of your frame. Bro, all I see from this example is that you have wo…
/r/askMRP16/06/16 09:10 PM
1

It's not at all contradictory. You ego investment is so deeply enmeshed that you can't see the 'scarcity' forest for the 'one-itis' trees. I am a high value man who can choose among many women who would add value to my life. I understand the burdens and risks involved with becoming monogamous and I choose 'this one' because she best suites my needs and fits the vision I have for my journey. If at any time, she no longer meets my needs or is a hindrance to my vision, I am prepared to 'choose myse…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 08:54 PM
1

IF your abundance mindset was in a healthy place you wouldn't have posted this. Read Rollo's 7th Iron Rule and then we can talk.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 07:08 PM
1

Regardless of your 'straw man' on the age of your Reddit account, it doesn't make any of what he said any less true. Your posts are particularly memorable because the theme is consistently about a 'nice guy' who has little self control. As /u/stonepimpletilists correctly pointed out, you are erratic & all over the place. Re-reading NMMNG and confronting the core issue(s) which are preventing you from progressing on your path to self-actualizaton should be RED #1 on your MAP.
/r/askMRP16/06/16 07:03 PM
1

Excellent post. The 'man up' clarification in your edit was not required. We're all too familiar with its feminist hi-jacking. We get it... there is only the man who’s genuine concern is first for himself, the man who prepares and provisions for himself, the man who maintains Frame to the point of arrogance because that’s who he is and what he genuinely merits. There is only the Man who improves his circumstance for his own benefit, and then, by association and merit, the benefit of those whom h…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/16 04:18 PM
1

Yup... in the same vein as 'no' is a complete sentence, never elaborate.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/16 04:07 PM
1

55yo here also... swallowed RP 5 years ago and thriving. It is truly life changing. Not much to add because you've done your homework and are clearly on the path... Mood swings may be associated with low testosterone. When you get to our age, you have to stay on top of this. If you have a good relationship with your GP, have a chat with him and get tested. Otherwise, go see a specialist. Either way, come back here with your numbers. FWIW, I'm doing injections and this is by far the best delivery…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/16 09:12 PM
1

but what is this stuff about "formally presenting her with the new paradigm"? We're not disagreeing here... I know you know this but I will elaborate for the benefit of others. In no way am I implying that "presenting the new paradigm" is an ultimatum. We are in complete agreement that ultimatums are just an 'ultimate DLV' from a person who is merely admitting he/she has no power. IF you have been doing it right, the shifting of the power dynamic has been a slow, subtle, and steady 'acta non ver…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/16 04:55 PM
2

Agreed. Passed shit test, at most. The positive example in this FR is what a passed shit test looks like... tingles and some hard fucking.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 07:55 PM
5

Understood.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 07:43 PM
3

Seriously, if you think this is about breaking anyone down you are going about it wrong. Wasn't my intent to imply the OP should actively 'breakdown' his wife. Passive dread will/must 'breakdown' a wife's narrative (frame) of who has the power in the relationship. This is exactly the impetus behind the 'Main Event'. OP's wife's frame is not 'broken', it's wavering at best. OP is on the path but has more work to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 07:37 PM
4

This was not a Main Event... Shit test at best. Main Event is where she's formally presented the new paradigm and she either accepts or she doesn't Typically there's the 'Fuck me or Fuck You' ultimatum initiated by you... at best it kicks the can down the road, at worst it fails horribly. Main Event is typically and should be initiated by the wife. You initiating the ME is a huge DLV... you're supposed to be the mighty oak, loving life, being awesome, totally immune and un-phased by her shitty b…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 07:04 PM
1

I wonder if the resentment phase between a man's improvement, and a girls reflection of his failures (lag) is largely because of being isolated from the value reward cycle? IMO, the lag is biological and psychological. It takes time to 'kill' old neural pathways and build new ones. Your wife has to repeatedly see the positive change in order to create new thought patterns (my husband is a prize) which repetitively fires and strengthens the new neural pathways. By virtue of it's use, the old path…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 08:32 PM
1

When your paradigm is smashed and you want change 'yesterday', it's very easy to become hyper-focused... this is good and bad. It's good that personal improvement is accelerated but it's bad because building neural pathways for the 'new normal' is slow and can become frustrating. Frustration creates negative energy which feeds into all your relationships... especially the one with your wife. This is why often given advise is to 'slow down' and take the time to smell the roses. Your wife isn't th…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 08:02 PM
1

I have realized my biggest flaw is that I have been too focused on making my future comfortable that I have forgotten to have fun in the moment today. The fact that you recognize this is major progress. Living in the moment and being content are both choices of intent and acts of deliberate will, so cut yourself some slack. Take some time each day to slow down, meditate and cultivate a mindset of gratitude and self-love. The positive energy is infectious and will permeate all aspect of your life…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 06:48 PM
3

The pain of lifting = the growth of muscles. It happens in no other setting. I've been thinking about this concept for some time and consider this to be the money quote. We often talk in the sub about 'lifting heavy', but it's not just about weights, it's more aptly a metaphor for living a self-actualized life. A bunch of studies out there claiming that you derive the same physical benefit from low weight/high reps as high weight/low reps. While many of us in the discipline may doubt the validit…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 05:35 PM
5

Co-sign this. Providing comfort to your family, caring for and parenting your son, or handling domestic duties like a fully functional adult are in no way exclusively 'beta'. Handling your shit because that's what a man does is very 'alpha'. The context of 'alpha' vs 'beta' lies solely in how you operate in your frame and as your mental point of origin.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 02:43 PM
1

He owes her nothing, but this is his son's mother. The OP's legacy with his son depends on him staying the course. He will remember his father's care to his dying mother. He will learn this is a man's burden... To do the hard things. We often talk about 'lifting heaving', but it's not just with weights. It's a metaphor for life. When we 'lift heavy' and accept that failure is often a probability, we learn and grow. No man has ever evolved by short-cutting failure by doing the easy things. The OP…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 03:06 AM
3

Lol, yup. I did say "channeling Rollo", after all.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/16 01:06 PM
1

You're correct, I do understand the difference. Meant to say immoral... Thanks Fixed.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/16 01:03 PM
2

The red pill is not immoral. That's a canard created by the FI to shame and bend ordinary men to their will and to prevent high value men from leveraging their high value to purposes that do not benefit the FI. Channeling Rollo... There is nothing more threatening (or simultaneously arousing) to a woman than a man who knows his value.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/16 04:55 AM
4

And unless agreed upon beforehand Sex is one of the foundations of marriage. I'm particularly fond of the quote, "Without sex, marriage is an unnecessarily complicated arrangement"
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 08:48 PM
3

Anger is just a defense/coping mechanism for rejection. Anger is neither good nor bad but it does invariably put you at a fork in your journey where it becomes all about choice and will. Do you choose the easy fork of victim hood and get stuck in an infinite loop of chasing your tail about the unfairness of it all and your failed perception of powerlessness. Or do you choose difficult fork of empowerment, learn from your mistakes, endeavor to become 0.1% better everyday and live the life of your…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 01:29 PM
2

Brother, first as a fellow veteran, I thank you for your service and my condolences for losing a vocation that become home to you. Wow, another 'two time loser' here. Both marriages ended by infidelity (on their part), ultimately because I was a shitty, BP, beta-chump captain and they were AWALT. Knowing how every facet of my life turned around after swallowing the RP and doing the hard work, I can't wait to hear the next installment!
/r/TheRedPill20/05/16 04:17 PM
1

Remember my post on shit tests, how about no? Yup, when you get to that zen-like "shit tests are irrelevant" state, you've just had your "There is no spoon" epiphany.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 05:57 PM
2

I just have to score some girl soon as I'm unable to connect anything sexual or relational with anyone else but my wife. Umm, no. I don't think you truly understand how deep in the hole of dis-functionality you are. The fact that you think scoring with some girl is going improve any aspect of your cluster-fuck of a life only shows how thoroughly out-of-whack your value system has become. You are mired in a failed blue pilled paradigm that you've allowed to rob you of your manhood with no self-wo…
/r/askMRP19/05/16 04:54 PM
2

By my observations, it depends on where you are in your red pill journey. For the newly unplugged, going on an extended vacation is an unmitigated disaster because you're in the still living in the shattered remains of a failed paradigm and in the thick of the power struggle for who controls the new one. Additionally, newly unplugged are still in the process of killing the old nice guy, beta neural pathways and vacations take you out of the comfortable routines you've built to nurture/grow the n…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 08:40 PM
3

Happiness is a choice Absolutely this. Happiness, like love, is an act of will. It requires deliberate effort. It's also essential to understand that happiness is transitory... it ebbs and it flows. A self aware man accepts that being 'content' is healthy and sustainable and cultivating a mindset of gratitude will carry you through the darker times. You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes you just might find You get what you need.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 08:02 PM
5

First, as /u/TheFamilyAlpha was alluding to, understand that the Red Pill is not an ideology, it's a set of tools (praxeology) for understanding what makes women tick and maintaining a successful and enjoyable relationship. Like any toolbox, you use the tools that work for YOU and put away the ones that don't. Getting bogged down what accounts for orthodoxy these days is nothing but a distraction. You're a man, you plot your course. Second, from your post it's pretty clear that you're struggling…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 07:35 PM
1

Agreed. A segue into sunk cost fallacy would be apropos.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 02:29 PM
4

What? Blooper PM's? I have not yet had that honor. Clearly, I'm doing a shitty job of pissing people off.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 02:15 PM
1

This is a mindset that doesn't fully come online until you've truly internalized your self-worth and understand that time is your most precious resource. When you finally connect those dots, trimmimg away people (or activities & things) that don't add value, or the cost in unnecessary drama is too high, then it becomes a no-brainer. I can remember the day, the moment, in my RP evolution that I had my epiphany, and my first act was to walk away from a shitty marriage that added zero value to my l…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 02:08 PM
1

Truth is truth, regardless of the messenger. As a casual student of Buddhist philosophy, I find the red pill to be particularly zen-like. Both subscribe to seeing the world for how it actually is.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 02:50 AM
1

She's a perfectly respectful human being to others. Only because other human beings are not yet deserving of her contempt. The husband lost that privilege a long time ago.
/r/askMRP17/05/16 09:55 PM
0

Don't forget the part where she changes her mind and it becomes the STBX husband's fault for taking her up on her fine offer and becoming the bad guy for not reconciling & being a 'quitter'.
/r/askMRP17/05/16 09:53 PM
3

Agreed. I was lucky enough to have a natural alpha father who taught me those exact values, I lived by them, and they served me well until I allowed myself to be convinced otherwise by the timid souls outside of the arena. I was lost in the desert for time... but now I'm back.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 07:27 PM
6

Bro, attraction and desire are the two pillars of having a healthy sexual relationship. You may have attraction side taken care of by being fit, having frame and ample social proof, but what are you doing to build desire? Are you too available? Is she too comfortable? Are you an open book and there's no mystery? Most guys completely miss the 'building desire' part. They think, "If I build me, she will cum". Women desire spontaneously. They are a pump that needs to be primed... sometimes it takes…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 07:14 PM
4

Yeah, about a year of therapy for all the kids. The real tragedy was the boys. Nothing fucks with your head like a mom who takes your sister but leaves you behind. Maybe I'm wrong-headed in this and somebody here can calibrate me, but while learning that men are 'disposable' is a harsh fact of life, it's not a lesson that should come from your mother.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 06:40 PM
6

The fact that you think I am dumb enough to take you back after 4 years of high-school-Chad pounding (she was testing the waters to see if you would take her back) shows me that while you still have no attraction to me, you do find my resources/comfortable living appealing. Yup, you absolutely nailed that, except for the Chad part. The guy was a fat, unemployed, prescription drug addicted loser who completely misrepresented himself... and she made her bed and was stuck. Still, this was well befo…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 06:30 PM
6

Chimpanzees like to fling their poo... prepare for this to get nasty. Story hits fairly close to home for me. 1st (ex) wife, married almost 20 years, SAHM that had become fat & lazy, I was working and putting in way too many hours, and had become a very shitty captain. Blindsides me with an old H.S. flame she reconnected with on classmates.com (social media still in infancy), runs off with daughter to be with her new lover (she hasn't seen in 20 years) and abandons me & boys. Of course she's in …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 05:49 PM
5

This whole thing is strange as my wife did not want me telling him that we were putting the divorce on hold, she got very strange and inquisitive about what I was going to say - yet she didn't want to participate in the conversation. If this behavior isn't setting off alarms bells, then you need to ask yourself "why the fuck not?" The night ended abruptly however when we got home, as she did not want the end of night kiss. Of course not, this would be cheating on her new love interest. I am exce…
/r/askMRP17/05/16 02:46 PM
1

If you mean that Buddhism can be boiled down to taking the 'middle path' and having the discipline to see the world for how it actually is instead of how you'd like it to be, then, yes, I agree.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 02:15 PM
1

I have a love/hate relationship with posts such as this. I love the confirmation of posters I enjoy and respect being on the same wavelength. I love finding new resonating 'truths' to integrate into my paradigm... Thanks for the V. Rao link! I hate that there aren't enough hours in the day to accommodate my ever expanding reading list. My thoughts differ with just one of your statements, which I believe is not a small point and explains why AWALT is on a spectrum. The book 'Practical Female Psyc…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 02:11 PM
1

AWALT? Absolutely, but on a spectrum and that spectrum is based on nature vs nurture behavioral programming of the brain. Nature is of course the limbic... fight or flight, sexual strategy, etc. Nurture is the cognitive & emotive part... life experiences (including trauma), value systems, social conventions, etc. The brain is a difference engine, comparing and contrasting, with these two parts in a constant battle for control... for any given circumstance, the strongest wins and the 'hamster' is…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/16 02:59 PM
2

Hey Professor! I think another angel got his wings! OP, good job, you're on the path... Enjoy the journey.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/16 01:38 PM
2

Expecting others to put you first is the ultimate covert contract, the height of failed logic, and will only result in tragedy. This is fundamental, if you don't put yourself first, nobody else will. And rightly so, it is core in a man's burden of performance. This quote from Rollo I have made my credo... There is only the man who’s genuine concern is first for himself, the man who prepares and provisions for himself, the man who maintains Frame to the point of arrogance because that’s who he is…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/16 04:24 PM
2

Somebody help me out here... which one again is BPD? I can't tell.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 07:39 PM
2

She is diagnosed with depression and has been on meds for at least 5 years. she's convinced that she needs to divorce me, that I'm the source of her depression, and if it isn't me that it is the sad state of our marriage that is driving her to be depressed and unhappy. Of course she's unhaaaaapy and, yes, you are to blame. She settled for a beta chump and the dissonance is causing her depression. And, oh BTW OP, you're being chumped. Your gut knows what going on, but she's gaslighting like a pro…
/r/askMRP09/05/16 05:24 PM
2

No. Counseling 2 people and then offering one of them a job is unethical in the counseling world. Shocking behavior and it looks over the internet like this guy is moving onto your leftovers. Exactly. She's fucking the 'counselor', most likely as we speak.
/r/askMRP09/05/16 05:08 PM
4

She is still as angry and resentful as day 1. Any communication during the past week has been purely logistical since we share a car. While she sulked around the house all weekend... So, what do we know here? She's not remorseful, she's not committed to the marriage, she still thinks your a beta chump, and she's pissed that you temporarily cutoff her supply of tingles. You think she chose option A... looks more like option 'C' with a heart felt 'fuck you'. Part of the A/B talk is driving home th…
/r/askMRP09/05/16 04:51 PM
2

From this post and previous ones, your fiance has anxiety issues that are crippling her and your one-itis is holding you back. She's a Dream Killer and you're a beta, white knight chump. In your purple-pilled, dysfunctional frame, marrying this woman will be a train wreck. Good luck with that.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/16 03:37 PM
2

Late to the party here... already a whole bunch of good advise Having not fully read the sidebar this late in the game is concerning. Finish WISNIFG, and then begin again at the top. You're starting to get the concepts but it's crucial that you fully internalize them. I disagree with the others stating that this is merely an attraction desire issue. You are without a doubt a beta-orbiting, draft horse chump but gaming a wife who has psychological issues is not going to get you laid. Repeat after…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/16 02:06 PM
4

Lol, saw this 'article' a couple weeks ago. Spit out my coffee laughing. Should have been titled, 'How to Gaurrentee Your Marriage is a Dead Bedroom'
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/16 02:11 PM
3

Agreed. For 99% of men out there with attraction/desire issues, it's an excellent quote and demands serious introspection. But for that other 1% where the wives/gf's hypergamy is buried under a metric fuck ton of psychological issues, there is no amount 'game' that is going to turn her into your fuck toy. Going full-tilt, alpha caveman on her is more likely to make your situation worse. The trick is figuring which it is. This is why "the stay plan is the same as the go plan" will always be the c…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/16 02:43 PM
2

Your post, reading your history, my personal experience, carrying it forward on MMSL forums for 2 years and advising poor saps with hauntingly similar stories... Brother I've seen it all. No doubt my comments can be construed as facetious and cynical but in all sincerity, you've got a 'can't see the forest through the trees' scenario going on here. By your own admission, the sex has never been good and she's having sex-related anxieties that are getting worse, not better, that (for whatever reas…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/16 04:15 AM
3

The pragmatic side of me is waiting for her to get a job so she can't come after me for alimony Maybe, but we both know this your hamster giving you cover for your fear. Do you know the alimony rules for your state? Heh, probably one of the most googled searches on the internet. Some states set a minimum marriage length to 10 years. Some give the high income spouse dispensation for having paid for the others education. Dude, start preparing financially for the split. Talk to a lawyer and know yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 07:32 PM
8

This woman has psychological issues that no amount 'game' is going to fix. Repeat after me... "You can't Game crazy"
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 07:04 PM
8

How to respond to your wife about wanting a dog is not the problem. The 800 lb gorilla is why are you still with this woman? How is she adding value to your life? What besides a healthy sex life do you gain from her? Financial? Buffer for your own fear/doubt? Sunk Cost Fallacy? Stubborn? You can't MAP your way to sex with a woman that is fucking batshit crazy. Her fear/anxiety will always override whatever limbic level of attraction/desire she may develop, now or in the future. You can 'work on …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 06:49 PM
1

I have said many, many times that modern marriage is a fraud. Agreed, marriage 2.0 is an abysmally poor risk. If you can find a woman who was raised by marriage 1.0 parents and has that value system deeply ingrained, then you have a fighting chance. Unfortunately, this is the proverbial needle in the haystack.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 02:34 PM
1

He is giving what he needs and she wants nothing to do with that. She sees that as the behavior of a dependent Agreed. People tend to express love & emotional support in the form in which they need themselves. Wanting emotional connection is not weakness, we're all hard-wired for it. Where it becomes dangerous is when you become a slave to seeking it and solely measure your worth by it. As the OP acknowledged, he needs to divest his emotional support network and add/build male relationships. Onl…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 02:26 PM
8

you can always earn more money dudes This ^ When I left my ex, I will admit I had it easy. No kids, very minor hit to my retirement... But I otherwise walked away from a bunch of 'stuff' to break away 'clean' and racked up a bit of debt to start over. I've never regretted that decision... not once. Piece of mind has no price tag.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 01:06 AM
3

Women are AWALT on a spectrum. No doubt there are stoic women, your wife may be one of them. Her mom being the 'strong & independent', domineering type could explain much about her value systems & ego investments. If your wife is on the low maintenance side, you should be counting your blessings. Go by what she does. If she's keeping you properly sexed, then she's attracted & connected to you. It's pretty unrealistic to believe that you must be a 'one stop shop' for her. Most well-adjusted peopl…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 09:09 PM
5

Has it occurred to you that the increased distance is playing a part in the increased desire and better sex? She can't miss and want you if you're not 'gone'. On top of being attractive to her, you have to maintain distance and create tension to build desire... The Secret to Desire in LTRs tl,dr version... friendship, comfort, safety, familiarity all kill desire. You have to figure out which wife you want... the friend or the lover. You can't have both. If you want a friend, get a dog.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 08:18 PM
2

Agreed and Stone's on point... this is not a woman who's going anywhere. There's an element of increasing desperation and she's ratcheting up the pressure to pull you back to her frame and be her beta-orbiting, draft-horse. Do not respond. Stay on target (May the 4th be with you) and add some positive energy into your interactions with her. You have some legitimate reasons to be furious with her. The slow slide of the marriage was substantially your doing (beta behavior, lack of leadership), but…
/r/askMRP04/05/16 07:22 PM
7

Been looking at your previous posts... there's a lot going on here. What level of dread do you think you're at? Well, you dote on them. You smile when they talk. You act interested in the things they are interested in. You take time to be around them. You do things for them just because. Those are the things that I am missing. Is this true? If so, then you're doing it wrong. You need to inject some fun, positive energy and emotional connection into the marriage... at least until you get to a hig…
/r/askMRP04/05/16 04:23 PM
1

Great post. As the captain, it's one of your burdens of performance to inject copious amounts of positive, fun energy into your relationship. This sustained effort is not trivial and draws attention to the importance of self care to prevent Ego Depletion. Pursuing your passion, hobbies, lifting, maintaining male friendships, etc are not just activities for creating distance and building attraction, they're essential for keeping your batteries charged so that you can stay 'on point'.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 02:31 AM
4

Excellent book! Should be added to the sidebar for graduate level reading, IMO. The authors go into more detail over the behavioral dichotomy of LSE vs. HSE women and provides some insight why always AWALT, but on a spectrum. EDIT: FWIW, after reading this book, I could look back and temporally mark each stage with my ex and the ways in which I failed. While Rollo self describes as being 'descriptive', this book is very prescriptive.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 08:11 PM
1

My guess is that his Spidey Senses were tingling. Any RP aware man would feel the disengagement from his wife, trust his gut, and recognize the signs. BP men have been taught since day one that their masculinity is toxic and their gut is for shit. All the self doubt is predictable. I also wonder about the line he crossed. Taking a step to record your spouse is a big one. Agreed, recording your spouse is a big step, but he clearly had probable cause and was vindicated. FWIW, folks in a marriage s…
/r/askMRP03/05/16 07:59 PM
1

Yup, the 'stay' plan is the same as the 'go' plan. This is the definition of being in your frame.
/r/askMRP03/05/16 07:15 PM
1

My current plan is to stay the course of working out, getting myself out there more, meeting new people and doing things that interest me. Working out and forming relationships outside your marriage is excellent. What interesting things are you doing? What is your passion? How much of the /MRP & /TRP sidebars have you read? What are you doing to further your RP understanding and awareness?
/r/askMRP03/05/16 06:18 PM
3

Isolating with a man who is not your husband is inappropriate... full stop.
/r/askMRP03/05/16 06:11 PM
1

From your description, I don't think it was a full blown EA because that would imply reciprocity, and 'Chad' shut it down. Regardless, she was at least looking for a dopamine fix and at worst testing the waters for a potential branch swing. Neither of these are good... speaks poorly about her character and your wife vetting skills. Without a doubt, you have a lot to own for your complicity in your wife losing attraction and even more to work on, but I'm not in the camp of women having no agency,…
/r/askMRP03/05/16 06:08 PM
1

I was amazed at how predictable reactions were. It's really not that amazing if you think about it. All human beings (with the minor exceptions disclaimer) have brains with the same exact wiring, running the exact same main program. Most of the cultural, societal subroutines are also the same. Only differences are the 'nurture' life experiences. So, it stands to reason that all unattracted wives will run the 'unattracted wife' subroutine. As an extra bonus, women have a hard wired obfuscation su…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 12:11 PM
3

The book is a good read, has many RP truths in it, and I recommend it, but it's supplementary reading at best... only after you've consumed both sidebars of /MRP and /TRP.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/16 08:51 PM
3

This would be (and should have been) my first choice, but I've yet to see a newly unplugged that was capable of doing that... too much debilitating doubt in his own ability to critically think this through. From my own personal experience, if you can't make that call, then just trust that the 'stay' plan is the same as the 'go' plan... work on and for yourself until you do get to that place.
/r/askMRP02/05/16 08:31 PM
3

Ok, here's what you know... You're 2 years into a shitty marriage where your wife is only fucking you twice a month. She's deliberately trying to branch swing. You don't have enough self esteem, respect or awareness, so you come here to get answers from internet strangers. If you want out, then you don't need to collect additional evidence, you've got plenty and the courts don't care. If you're not ready to call it because you still lack an abundance mentality, then shut it down hard. She either…
/r/askMRP02/05/16 08:03 PM
1

All life experiences are just learning opportunities... it's up to you to figure out what you learned.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/16 04:06 PM
1

Where do I go from now? Should I read MAP? Any other resources? If you haven't read MAP, then it's pretty obvious that you haven't been running a serious one. Reading, building & executing a MAP would be a huge step towards improving your life and finding your passion. Also, if you haven't finished the sidebar, then you've got a long way to go and shouldn't be posting shit like this here. As others said, get some professional help to develop some coping strategies and gain some introspection.
/r/askMRP02/05/16 03:59 PM
1

It took me many months into Red Pilling before I realized this and when I did it was a lightening bolt that changed everything. For me, it was that moment when I moved from purple pilled 'bargaining' to 'acceptance', and it was absolutely a lightening bolt. I was just sitting on the front porch, enjoying the Sunday morning and my coffee, and fell into a bit of a meditative state... Wham! It all fell into place. Walked back into the house and told the ex, "I can't live this way anymore, I'm done.…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/16 02:06 PM
2

Going out on a limb and taking the post seriously... Sometimes we are our own worst enemies and self sabotage is in our DNA. The universe is abundant and all it promises is that it will give us opportunities to learn and grow. It's up to us to see those opportunities, put them to good use, and dare greatly. Develop a 'default yes', abundant approach towards life and you will see those opportunities as they're heading towards you. And, when life is going well, stop occasionally and take the time …
/r/askMRP30/04/16 03:20 PM
3

Sobering and insightful story. Bottomline, you attract what you project. If you are fit & buff, have confidence & frame, and live in abundance, then you project high value and will attract a high value woman. If you projected high value got the high value wife/LTR, then let yourself go to beta shit-i-tude, is it any wonder why she's no longer attracted to you? If you're unhealthy, have no confidence, frame or social skill, then resign yourself to a life of bottom-feeding or miserable beta servit…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 09:50 PM
2

Athol Kay mentions something like this in Why Being Asshole Alpha Works For About Six Months
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 06:14 PM
1

Lol, definitely a catchy name.
/r/askMRP28/04/16 11:20 PM
3

Also, plain and simple- you are providing so much comfort that she will not try to keep you or improve her relationship with you. Period.It's a fact. Stop doing shit for her and following her around. You need to prove a point that you are value to have as a man/SO, and she needs to do what it is to keep you This! Right! Here! OP, This isn't red pill, this is Psychology 101. If she's continuing to get everything she needs from the relationship, then she has zero, zip, nada, no reason to change on…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 03:46 PM
1

OP, I agree with others that you've shown great progress in this post, but I'm having a bit of an Indigo Montoya "I don't think it means what you think it means" moment with regards to the concept of vulnerability. From the RP perspective, there's Rollo's post on Vulnerability. Another is the TED Talk, The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown, with over 24 million views. My thoughts are somewhere in the middle. A man must absolutely embrace his vulnerability... his sadness, doubts and fears, es…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 01:55 AM
1

If it's tied to her cycle, my bet is on PMDD. Either way, she needs to see a specialist and get treatment.
/r/askMRP27/04/16 03:25 PM
1

If her outrageous behavior is tied to her cycle, you may want to look into PMDD. From Mayo Clinic website: Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of PMS that includes physical and behavioral symptoms that usually resolve with the onset of menstruation. PMDD causes extreme mood shifts that can disrupt work and damage relationships. Symptoms include extreme sadness, hopelessness, irritability, or anger, plus common PMS symptoms such as breast tenderness and bloating. my ex had PMD…
/r/askMRP27/04/16 03:22 PM
2

Yes, this is how it works. Just suck it up. Believe me, you want to be working with the higher belts... they have 'control'. The lower belts don't and will just hurt you... a lot.
/r/askMRP26/04/16 07:02 PM
2

One of my favorite AK-isms is, "your 'stay' plan is the same as your 'go' plan" Plainly spoken... Work on yourself, for yourself, because you can only work on you, and put the relationship on the back-burner. Ultimately, she will either follow you or she won't. Either way, it's a win-win. You will have an awesome life, with the woman you chose, who is enthusiastically along for the ride of a lifetime.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 06:29 PM
1

In this case, the desired belief is "all women are shitty" instead of "i am shitty". So op starts with the conclusion and works backwards to get the answer he wants - i.e. "women can't be trusted". And this is fertile ground for a self-fulfilling prophesy... Man is shitty. Has shitty attitude about women. Attracts what he projects and finds only, you guessed it, shitty women. Confirms shitty bias. Unable to own problem that he's shitty and is attracting shitty women. Rinse & Repeat.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 06:11 PM
3

I agree with all points. It wont be a MGTOW movement that swings the pendulum. It will be a moderate swell of (still BP guys), who have no idea what MGTOW is or what it stands for, independently reading the handwriting on the wall and saying, "fuck that!" We'll know it's reached critical mass when the legislators start hand wringing over the loss of GPD and tax revenue from men opting out and they start instituting 'bachelor taxes' again. That will be the last straw... and us 'enlightened ones' …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 05:38 PM
2

Absolutely agree on AWALT existing on a spectrum and the variability of female 'agency'. Here's how I summed up the existance of a spectrum in a previous post... Agency is a cognitive/emotive function, sexual strategy is limbic, and more often than not they are at direct odds with each other. The brain is a difference engine, constantly comparing and contrasting. Whenever the cognitive and the limbic get into a battle, the strongest one wins. When folks have stressors, depression, negative/traum…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 04:08 PM
1

'Mental point of origin,' I like how you put it. It does feel like a return to something original, rather than a new perspective. Lol, yup, it's a return to a place you once knew well... The confidence of knowing and righteousness of prioritizing your own needs, wants and desires https://therationalmale.com/2014/11/14/mental-point-of-origin/ If you're not familiar with the term, then you may have not yet dived into Rollo's full body of work. It's pure gold. If you think you 'get it' now, prepare…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 08:56 AM
2

OP, your story is far from unique. I would argue all married men come here to either get laid or understand why their wives are fucking other men, but end up walking away with much more than they bargained for. I wrote this in another thread... But like most newly unplugged do, I made a bargain with the devil, I will do all the easy things... lift, lose weight, become more attractive... so I can get my (POS) wife back, BUT I will stubbornly hold on to those BP ego investments that were dug in li…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/16 02:57 PM
2

This is the cruel joke of evolution... Oxytocin. Oxytocin causes men to abandon their primary sexual strategy, Polygyny, for their secondary, Protector/Provider. Oxytocin causes women to bond with their children... Period. There is no lasting hormonal mechanism for women bonding to men. What causes a woman to abandon her primary sexual strategy? The Wall. The only thing a man can leverage is understanding and constantly satisfying a woman's hypergamic doubt. Stay high value, stay mysterious, mai…
/r/TheRedPill24/04/16 02:13 PM
3

Agreed. Life experiences are nothing more than learning opportunities to gain mastery and move your vision forward. Failure is only when you do not learn. When you do not learn repeatably, it becomes insanity. Edit: Typos
/r/askMRP21/04/16 06:46 PM
5

Great book. Highly recommend it. She also has a couple highly viewed TED Talks... Secret to desire in LTR Rethinking Infidelity
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/16 03:13 PM
5

Dude, she doesn't want you back because you're her Alpha High Score and needs a good fucking, she wants you back as an orbiter because of the good beta feelz and validation you gave her. This has disaster written all over it. As others said, let Rollo's Iron Rule #7 be your guide. And FFS, don't get into any LTRs until you get your scarcity mindset issues squared away. Spin no fewer than two plates.
/r/askMRP20/04/16 04:03 PM
2

And have fun man, MRP doesn't have to be super serious all the time you know I want to up-vote this about a dozen times! If you're not having fun and saying "Fuck yeah!!!", then why are you doing it? Life is too short. You can't have positive results with negative emotions. Inject positive energy into everything you do. It's infectious and naturally forces those around into your frame.
/r/askMRP20/04/16 03:01 PM
1

Stone is giving you gold, so I have nothing to add there. As a fellow martial artist, I would like to stress that not only do you want to invite people who add value to your experience but these people must reflect positively on you towards your martial arts family. Those of us who know the culture, showing of respect, and absolute obedience to the Sensei & Shihan... it's of extreme importance that your guests are good representatives for what you stand for. This must also be a metric in your de…
/r/askMRP19/04/16 08:52 PM
1

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a w…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/16 06:50 PM
3

Yup... definitely on the same wavelength here. Ex Navy here too... lol, maybe that's it?!? Been thinking quite a bit about this. The inability to make cognitive intuitive leaps in judgement and the paralysis of action is a defining characteristic of beta males. Beta men are obsessively risk adverse and over-analyze everything. OTOH, alpha men intuitively understand that risk is unavoidable, you minimize risk as best as you can with the knowledge you have and move forward... always move forward. …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/16 05:26 PM
1

Yup, this goes directly back to valuing yourself, your most precious resource (time), and using it efficiently to add value to your life. Setting boundaries is also largely about compromise, reciprocity, and just being reasonable. OP seems to get that. He understands and is supportive that GF 'needs' to spend time with her family and is willing to give time to people who don't add value for one who does. This is good stuff. There's no bad guy here, just competing interests. If GF isn't willing (…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/16 04:43 PM
1

Great post... whole-heartedly agree. I made a comment along these lines in Scurvemuch's 'Finding Your Mission' post... All men are born natural alphas with an almost irrational confidence of knowing what 'the right thing' is. It's our instinctive, 'masculine gut' guiding us through life. I believe irrational confidence resulting from 'trusting your gut' is at the core of making and taking those intuitive leaps in judgement which catapult us forward in our personal growth.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/16 04:09 PM
3

Yep, fucking up should be painful and leaving the ring behind will be an appropriate reminder.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 01:57 PM
2

Or wives take notice, feel some dread, and are connected/attracted when their husbands aren't need bitches and generate their own happiness.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/16 09:50 PM
3

True, there will always be 'takers' out there who live in an unending mindset of scarcity and have no concept of reciprocity, but my interpretation of my ex is not wrong. Most people subconsciously operate within the 'cardinal rule of relationships'... They don't how to be otherwise. It takes a highly self-actualized person to see it for the zero-sum disaster that it is.
/r/askMRP17/04/16 01:55 PM
1

I know this is the conventional wisdom in manosphere to protect yourself 'on the backend' with a pre-nup. But with lawyers that are adept at finding loopholes to judges that casually dismiss them, a pre-nup is extremely poor insurance to protect your assets. They give a false sense of security and set you up to fail. The better strategy is to protect yourself 'on the front end'. Make sure you live in a state were laws protect all your existing assets going into the marriage. Don't marry young. I…
/r/askMRP17/04/16 01:34 PM
1

Bro, not that you need my validation, but I commend you on living with RP ideals that are congruent to your values... We all take what works for us and throw away the rest... This how it works. My value system is pretty ingrained, so I don't see me following your path in the foreseeable future, but I understand and can appreciate how your path led you there. FWIW, there are only a few who I will scroll through in a post To find their nuggets of pure gold... You're one of them.
/r/askMRP16/04/16 03:22 AM
3

Bro, at the end of the day, there's only one reason to maintain a relationship with anyone or anything... They (it) adds value to your life. They take a cup that is already full and make it overflowing. Any other reason is, ultimately, hamster mindfuck orgy time.
/r/askMRP16/04/16 02:31 AM
14

Ok, I'll bite. Most folks are very lucky to have access to a community such as /MRP. The internet was in it's adolescence during my 1st divorce and the praxeology of TRP did not exist. I had nowhere to go to find out that 'ILYBINILWY' means my wife of 20 years was fucking another man. I had nobody to explain to me why, freshly divorced, all these single mothers were throwing themselves onto me and how marrying one would be an even greater disaster than my 1st marriage. Jumping right back onto th…
/r/askMRP15/04/16 09:08 PM
1

May the Schwartz be with you!
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/16 03:50 PM
1

I agree with /u/[deleted], the red pill is just a toolbox, "use what you need", but 'too much sex' is not your problem. I Know I drink to much. I know I should be working out more. I know I could do better at a lot of things. But whenever I get that thought of self improvement, she is right there for me to take, any time. No self improvement needed. I know that to go out and fuck some strange would take effort, but it's effort that I'm simply not compelled to put in; a happily compliant pussy is…
/r/askMRP14/04/16 03:32 PM
1

Kid, I was plugged in for 50 years and it took a 2nd cheating wife before I had my moment... consider yourself very lucky. Your critical thinking skills are for shit right now so you need to take what has been said here very seriously.
/r/askMRP13/04/16 08:06 PM
2

Still working on 'Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man', by South, Clare & Franco, but will add 'The Manipulated Man' to my RP reading list... Thanks.
/r/askMRP13/04/16 07:23 PM
4

I don't see these guys as fucktards or trolls. I see them so thoroughly plugged-in to their blue-pill paradigm that they're overwhelmed by the red pill and no longer trust their ability to critically think... hence the seemingly ridiculous questions that are posed. There's a fierce battle going on in their head and they're just looking for a little clarity from men who seem to have their shit together. It's exactly those worst case BP scenarios which cause men to search for the red pill that lea…
/r/askMRP13/04/16 06:56 PM
3

Dude, you are still very ego invested in the blue pill, you have no clue what TRP actually is... and you're especially not asking the right questions. Forget about her, let's concentrate on you. In a previous post on asktrp, I mentioned my fiancee's dead sexdrive. I actually learned the cause - she was pregnant! This is BS. Quite often pregnancy makes her sex drive go hyperactive. She's not fucking you because you're an unattractive beta chump. Before I found this out, I was considering leaving …
/r/askMRP13/04/16 04:46 PM
1

Lol, dude... you crack me up. I need to quit giving reasonable advise.
/r/askMRP12/04/16 09:28 PM
5

Dude, I think you'd be hard pressed to find a woman with an N-count of less than 10 these days. The only thing a woman lying about her N-count shows is that, regardless of how they try to shame us about it, it's a big deal. My advise is go by what she does. Sounds like you're getting plenty of Alpha Tells and if she's actually as you describe, then she's at least LTR material. Continue to watch what she does and don't slide into beta-tude. You'll be fine.
/r/askMRP12/04/16 09:24 PM
1

OP displaying some obvious NG behaviors. Pretty sure he hasn't read NMMNG or anything else in the sidebar.
/r/askMRP12/04/16 08:54 PM
5

Dude, A man owns what he wants and what he does. You don't have to be a dick about it but you do have to prioritize yourself and execute in your personal interest with confidence and righteous intent. Make no mistake, the reason why your stbx wants to fuck her ex is precisely because of this indecision and lack of confidence & frame. While AWALT, you've played a major part for what's transpired. After you extricate yourself from this skank, you need to go monk mode and get your head screwed on r…
/r/askMRP12/04/16 08:50 PM
2

OP, I strenuously disagree. One aspect of a man's burden of performance is having a strong vision. A man must give a woman a compelling reason to follow him and that is accomplished by his vision. Without passion and vision, a man is directionless and a faint shadow of his full potential. A vision (or call it a blueprint) for your life does not have to be grandiose. For me, it's simply knowing and loving what I do (my passion) and envisioning what my perfect day would look like, working and gain…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 06:31 PM
8

Demoting to a plate reeks of scarcity mindset and is a huge DLV. There is only one recourse for an untrustworthy LTR/wife... Next!
/r/askMRP12/04/16 03:55 PM
1

Get everything that is important to you out of that house now. You want to be prepared for when all hell breaks loose... and believe me, it will!
/r/askMRP12/04/16 03:48 PM
1

Be aware that even though your name may be on the title/lease, most states require you to submit an official eviction notice of 30-90 days. And the potential for shenanigans during that waiting period is very high. For example, if your 'strategy' angers her, she can call the police, make a bogus DV claim and have you kicked out of your own fucking house. This is absolutely scary shit and Rollo's Iron Rule #4... Shaking Up NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or ar…
/r/askMRP12/04/16 03:33 PM
4

You've got some great advise, follow every bit of it, but I'm going to throw out a scenario that you need to be very wary of. What if Chad got your 'wife' pregnant and now she's 'hysterically bonding' with you to cuckold your beta chump ass. First order of business, stop having sex with this woman. 2nd, make her take a pregnancy test. If positive, a DNA test is in order. This isn't to ascertain her trustworthiness for reconciliation, we've already established she's not... this is to protect your…
/r/askMRP11/04/16 03:14 PM
1

/Deadbedroom is about victim hood and /MRP is about empowerment. Most people would rather be victims and wallow.
/r/askMRP09/04/16 11:33 PM
1

Yup... Go all in. If you're not saying "fuck yeah!", you will fail.
/r/askMRP09/04/16 09:51 PM
3

Interesting... The truth comes from many messengers.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/16 09:48 PM
1

Yes! You can always spot a 'victim' because they're incapable of learning from their mistakes... "It wasn't my fault!" No learning, no growth.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 07:07 PM
1

Exactly. At base level, people are merely messengers... examples of 'what to do' or 'what not to do'. Same with life experiences... just learning opportunities. An abundant universe will throw you plenty of opportunities and if you're smart & capable of owning your shit, you will either succeed or learn. Failure (stupidity/insanity) is only when you do the same thing over again and expect a different result.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 07:03 PM
1

Yes. Similarly, that anger we feel from unplugging is often directed towards ourselves... it's very hard to forgive that BP chump. I got to other side by telling myself, "That person, that blissfully ignorant chump no longer exists... He's dead & buried"
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 06:29 PM
2

Great post. I'm personally a fan of 'enlightened self-interest', same-o, same-o, but at the end of the day, it's always about frame. The burning question is, "How do you get there?" You get there, as the OP said, by intimately knowing who you are and what you want. What works for me... I have developed a strong vision for what my 'perfect day' would look like... The 'passions' I'm pursuing, the people I invest my time in, lifestyle and leisure activities, etc. When I'm fully present, I will ask …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 02:47 PM
1

Yep, I saw that... FWIW, I agree with what you wrote. You fought the good fight for what you believe in. That's all a man of good conscience can do. I'm a huge fan of Teddy's 'Man in the Arena' speech... It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who come…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 02:13 PM
1

I'm here. I only post when I feel I have something of value to add. As my Dad says, "Don't just talk because you like to hear your head rattle!"
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 01:40 PM
7

Learn to trust your gut again. All men are born natural alphas with an almost irrational confidence of knowing what 'the right thing' is. It's our instinctive, 'masculine gut' guiding us through life. Watch young boys play... joyous, confident, fearless, struggling, challenging, overcoming, at the height of being in the absolute center of their frame. Then single mothers, emasculate, beta fathers, FI controlled media and govt beat it out of them and replace it with fear, doubt & guilt for priori…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 09:47 PM
1

What they recognize is a man with a strong purpose, a man who is a leader with ideals and that’s what make the ‘gina-tingles. Couldn't agree with this more. What my wife is wildly attracted to is my sense of purpose and what 'the right thing' is, and my unrestrained passion for my work.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/16 03:19 PM
1

I agree that alpha/beta terminology can be very confusing, especially for the newly unplugged. When I first unplugged, along with frequenting MMSL, I read copious amounts of Rollo's TRM. His one quote which had the greatest impact for me with regards to behavior is "Alpha is a mindset, not a demographic", and I agree with it whole-heartedly. IMO, it blows away the concept that you're either born alpha, or you're not. There are nature vs nurture aspects to behavior, some men genetically have more…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/16 03:55 PM
1

As far as advising young men not to get married, it's counterproductive. They'll look at you like a bitter old man just like many of us did when our uncles told us the same shit. Better advice is to give them a checklist to evaluate their woman. Agreed. Reminds me of a comment I made over in Rollo's blog in a similar thread of conversation... Currently, the easy, go-to answer is “just don’t”. “MGTOW is the path to happiness and prosperity.” In ‘marriage 2.0 land’, where the stakes are high and t…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/16 03:19 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/16 03:11 PM
2

Great story, lots of points to break down. I was a little pissed, then more pissed, then I thought, this was an awesome night - we had fun, she is sore and not feeling super sexy (period), and just wanted a date with her man and to relax. Women are women, they cannot be expected to think and act like men. Testosterone. Men have at least and order of magnitude more than women, and while men are satiated at 4+ times per week, women are perfectly happy at once or twice a week. Also, lower libido is…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/16 02:33 PM
1

One of the things I’ve tried to internalize is STFU and not complaining to her, and trying to fix my shit on my own. But then I end up bottling up frustrations, and blowing it weeks/months later and complaining anyway Until you get your emotions under control, much better to puke here than on her. One thing I'm struck by reading your OP is that both of you are living on past hurts and not letting go. You're both stuck. "Let Go of the Rice", by Mark Nepo "So much more can happen with our hands op…
/r/askMRP22/03/16 08:08 PM
1

Yes, a bunch of NG and co-dependent behaviors going on here and much to learn. Your wife undoubtedly put much of her self-esteem into her athleticism and fell apart after the injury. the binge shopping is a 'numbing' activity, not much different from more common addiction behaviors, to avoid owning and dealing with her issues. To paraphrase Dr. M. Scott Peck, neurosis and depression is the brain's way of coping with the dissonance of not 'owning your shit'. She's piled all her self-loathing and …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/16 03:39 PM
2

Yeah, I know, it's so hard to fathom these pathetic losers putting up with this kind of bullshit and are inclined to just write them off as trolls, but this is sadly all too common. In our present fem-centric society, these beta-bux draft horses are constantly barraged by all forms of media that they are not only obligated to commit to these cows, but they are damn lucky to have them. So, you take any poor sap whose been married and emotionally abused for 10+ years, convinced that this is the be…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/16 09:40 PM
5

As a guy who's been there, I understand the hamster rationalizations underlying "giving it one more try"... fear of the unknown can be pretty crippling for one whose self-confidence is shot. When the OP gets back to a place of self-love & abundance, all the fears & doubts fall away and only one criteria will remain... "does this person add value to my life?" When's he's ready, he'll know the answer and act on it. For now, "I don't know" is an acceptable answer. With regards to trust, I've come t…
/r/askMRP17/03/16 06:50 PM
2

Yeah, I've been struggling with whether this was a failed comfort test or the stereotypical 'wrestle control back' shit test... until I checked some of his previous posts. Recently in r/TRP, he was castigated for 'mis-handling' an attempted plating of an ex. I commend the OP for finding and trying to implement RP praxeologies in his life but he's fucking it up by the numbers and missing some core messages. 'GF' usually implies some level of mutual commitment. If you're trying to spin plates but …
/r/askMRP17/03/16 04:17 PM
3

Maybe the rift is all politics, fine. But it would be better to know that than to wonder which camp is misusing the theory. Although I'm relatively new here, I've been RP'd for 5+ years, read everything on the sidebar (and then some), frequent TRM, CH, Dalrock, Illimitable Men, MMSL, RedPillRoom (Ian start posting again, Dude!), etc and I see nothing at MRP that deviates one iota from whatever passes for RP orthodoxy these days. I couldn't give a shit over rifts that do (or don't) exist between …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 09:49 PM
2

Even (especially?) a woman who has some RP awareness expects a man to 'just get it' and most of the guys who find MPR are train wrecks. So, RPW women come here out of morbid curiosity and like any good train wreck, they can't take their eyes away from yucky, messy sausage-making, and it repulses them. Best strategy for both sides is to minimize the unnecessary drama and just ignore each other.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 07:53 PM
1

I was at first leaning towards 'depression' stage but ya'll are right... big dose of anger with notes of denial. This is no different than the stuck in the anger stage shit you see with the MGTOWs... "hey, I don't like the rules so I'm gonna take my bat, ball, & glove and go home".
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 07:22 PM
2

As I've said before, AWALT (and AMALT) are what made human beings the apex species on the planet. Understanding and embracing the difference (instead of fearing and rejecting) will make you a more efficient, successful, and whole human being and gives you a huge advantage over the rest of the plugged-in population.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 04:03 PM
2

Anger is the emotion of fear, rejection and loss. Acknowledge it, process it, understand it, conquer & redirect it.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 03:58 PM
1

There are most definitely common symptoms but the spectrum and the severity are very individual. For example, my wife is 51 and Peri-menopausal, which means that her periods are infrequent and erratic, but hasn't yet experienced one year without a period. Her libido & lube is fine, no hot flashes or mood swings, but her metabolism has taken a nose dive and is experiencing some weight gain. It's freaking her out, so she watches what she eats and goes to the gym 4-5 times/wk. She's working hard, s…
/r/askMRP15/03/16 08:42 PM
4

I get your point, but /u/PemBayliss is not wrong. His definition of 'attractive' could use some tweaking though. Being attractive will maybe get you laid once, but being 'arousing' will get you laid again & again. Physical attractiveness is sexually arousing, as is alpha behavior/charisma. A sufficient quantity of either (preferably both) will produce the desired result. IMO, the reason why lifting/losing weight is heavily stressed is not because it's the sole solution, but because it's the easi…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 08:29 PM
1

I've experienced the pointy, painful end of 'Plan B'... it's ultimately how I came to the red pill. And yes, I was in the 50%, I knew the co-worker my ex was fucking. Ex even arranged for the three of us to have lunch together... how fucked up is that. I'm very grateful for that painful but necessary lesson. My life is orders of magnitude better since my shedding of that dead weight... mine and the ex.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 04:55 PM
2

While I believe that 'naturals' exist, as Rollo says, "Alpha is a mindset, not a demographic". http://therationalmale.com/2011/10/20/alpha/ http://therationalmale.com/2012/02/21/defining-alpha/
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/16 10:45 PM
1

I don't agree with everything TRP espouses. It doesn't give women enough credit and gives them way too easy of a pass for shitty behavior. Bad behavior is clearly enabled, but ultimately any individual is responsible for his or her actions. You disagree because you still don't understand. Nowhere in the red pill praxeology is it accepted that 'women get a free pass'. You're quite frankly making that shit up. What TRP and MRP say is that since you can only control yourself, focus on what you do a…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/16 10:28 PM
1

Yeah and do they get their hackles up when you point out the obvious solipsism. A good read... http://therationalmale.com/2011/10/03/war-brides/ But God forbid! Don't try to explain it to them!!!
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/16 09:50 PM
3

I can say from personal experience MRP saved me as a man. What it did for my marriage was never the point from which I measured. My family life is recovered, and we are humming right along. From shrill harpy divorcing me to slightly less shrill harpy thanking me for all that I do for the family. Agreed. I took the red pill to save my troubled marriage and ended up (correctly) saving myself. That marriage did not survive because the value we each individually added to the relationship had always …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/16 08:12 PM
1

I hear you, but I think the guy is on the level. From my own personal experience, I had no choice but to accept the red pill, in total... my cheating ex smashed my blue-pill paradigm to pieces and then stomped the pieces to dust. Many come to the RP from dead bedrooms, with their BP programming fully intact and only want to take the palatable parts of the RP to game their gf/wives, fully missing the core message. The OP strikes me as one of those guys. He will continue to carry water for this wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/16 07:25 PM
1

This "freak out" is just a low value sloot showing her true desires and contempt for you when the inhibitors are pushed aside by her "excuse," alcohol. This right here ^ Alcohol doesn't make people say or do things. It allows people to be uninhibited to do and say the things that are on their mind but know better not to. OP is getting a huge dose of this woman's values and true nature. NEXT NOW!
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/16 08:15 PM
2

Speaking from personal experience, the ILYBINILWY speech is the death knell of a marriage... it's days are numbered. Not only does it mean that she's checked out, she's either actively engaged in branch swinging or has someone in mind. Given the "I don't care who you fuck, just as long as it's not me" comment, it's pretty much a certainty. While STFU is typically the order of the day, the OP actually caught break by forcing this conversation. A 'checked out' wife wont tell you she's checked out …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 08:17 PM
2

Yup. AWALT (and AMALT) have made human beings the apex species on the planet, so don't knock it. The fact that women are AWALT and I now have the fucking manual makes me a very happy camper.
/r/askMRP10/03/16 04:54 PM
1

What if I told you that Beta guy is really an Alpha who has fallen prey to feminine manipulation? That's pretty much the blue-pill in a nutshell and the go-to explanation for why men get angry swallowing the RP. IMO, the hostility over the RP varies and is fairly contextual in women, depending on their 'maturation stage' and relationship status. For married women, it's all about control of the relationship. Of course they're on-board with their man being awesome and 'just getting it'... it's the…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/16 04:19 PM
1

Except it's not 'anti-women', it's 'pro-self'. The most dangerous man to a woman's sexual agency is the man who knows and has internalized his own value. She has zero power over him... and it scares her and makes her wet at the same time.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/16 09:25 PM
1

If you are running dread BUT you are not REALLY willing to walk away, guess who still has all the power. And this is the ONE thing that you can't fake until you make it. Your wife can read/smell the doubt & fear from two counties away... it's her biological superpower.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/16 06:59 PM
2

I'm all for going with your gut, but this is the guy's first post. Some additional backstory might be appropriate, don't you think?
/r/askMRP03/03/16 01:47 AM
4

As /u/[deleted] stated, ultimatums are an admission you have no power in the relationship and is, consequently, a huge DLV. I think the key phrase here is It went on for 2 years now, and I've had enough of it at this point. It doesn't matter what her hamster says, go by what she does. She knows you want kids and she doesn't. End. Of. Story. In all seriousness, this is all you need to know to next her and move on... time to walk away. And now for some questions... "what's your rush?" If you're wo…
/r/askMRP02/03/16 10:36 PM
2

This guy is concern trolling a bunch of posts... don't feed him.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/16 04:56 PM
2

Women berate, men calibrate.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/16 04:27 PM
0

Yup, that's the overwhelming message of the post. The OP took the palatable parts of the RP, applied them to a BP, fem-centric narrative, got predictable results, and then wonders why it all went south. Garbage in = garbage out. You can teach a man to 'alpha up' but his absence of frame will expose him as the imposter he is every time. But frustratingly, I get it. Internalizing frame and understanding the true nature of the 'burden of performance' can (will) take years to master. It's only when …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/16 04:21 PM
4

The OP's post oozes beta-loser chump. Sugarcoating the fact that he missed the core message of the RP and has a long way to go does him no favors. Men come here knowing they're going to get tough love.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/16 03:29 PM
1

Ad Hominem much?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/16 09:56 PM
2

This article is the hard part of the red pill for a newly unplugged beta/gelded draft horse to swallow. Doesn't surprise me that some here would rather pick at his grammar than try to absorb the wisdom of his post. I get it, been there... old buffers/ego investments are a hard thing to break.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/16 07:16 PM
1

The Pareto Principle doesn't apply here. That's a bit ambiguous, where is 'here' ? In the context of female hypergamous desire, the Pareto Principle aligns very well. Don't confuse/conflate desire with consolidation. From Rollo's article... Women’s innate Hypergamous nature ensures a distributive model for desire that aligns with the Pareto Principle – even if the overall result of women settling for less than optimal Hypergamy appears to contradict it. Again, it’s important to remember that wom…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 02:32 PM
1

Co-sign all! This is giving comfort and support while being in your frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 08:47 PM
1

Both good and bad alpha get you laid. Agreed. If you think the way you look is unrelated to being the alpha male then you're kidding yourself. But hey, whatever fits your frame. Again, I know that attractiveness and alpha behaviors are distinct sexual arousal triggers and both must be leveraged to maximize success. Why do you feel that it's necessary to change the terminology? When I first unplugged, I found the terminology confusing and often conflicting, depending on the context. It wasn't unt…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 08:09 PM
3

Chad and alpha behavior are separate sexual arousal triggers... a woman will respond to either. That said, being a Chad will get you laid, being alpha will get you laid again and again.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 07:48 PM
0

Bad beta: covert contracts, physically unattractive, entitled Nice Guy Herein lies the problem, mixed, inaccurate metaphors. Covert contracts and entitled NG? Absolutely beta behavior. Physically unattractive? Neither alpha nor beta. As Rollo says, "Alpha is a mindset, not a demographic". Alpha behavior (being in one's frame) and physical attractiveness are distinct and separate sexual arousal triggers. Good beta: listening and acknowledging partner's needs, working as team with complementary sk…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 07:36 PM
2

I'm personally not that defeatist. I've witnessed memes change/die due to thoughtful rigorous debate and this is one which hinders the RP praxeology, IMO. The challenge is more on framing the intent than the type or 'quality' of comfort given. I would argue that doing the 'right thing for the wrong reason' is more harmful than the 'wrong thing for the right reason'.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 05:47 PM
0

Yeah, this one made me fucking cringe. Rollo, says it best, "There is no alpha with a side of beta".
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 03:52 PM
1

I will take that as high complement. My RP knowledge and wisdom came at great cost, but as nothing of value comes freely and that which was begotten easily has little value, I give it the full respect that it's due. I also look forward to building a home here.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 12:15 AM
1

Great post. Related reading... http://therationalmale.com/2014/11/02/alpha-tells/ http://therationalmale.com/2014/11/11/beta-tells/
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/16 11:11 PM
1

Thanks. You guys are doing good work and saving lives here... amazing amount of time, thought and value in posts. FTR, I've since jumped back into the briar patch and re-married to a beautiful, old school, submissive, smart, fully functional, self-sufficient, but AWALT woman, who enthusiastically meets all of my needs and will I have to game to the end of my days. And, I am absolutely up to that challenge. at 55yo, I could have cashed in my chips and gone MGTOW but that felt like the cowards way…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/16 11:01 PM
2

It does surprise me, because many women (especially post-wall, security-phase women) are exactly that stupid. They're not all crazy as fuck but many are lazy, entitled, with over-inflated sense of their SMV, have no understanding that commitment requires two engaged adults, and are goaded by their also divorced gf's into going EPL because misery loves company. There are too many outside variables you can't control that go into that crazy hamster called your wife's brain. All you can do is improv…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/16 10:28 PM
1

Keep in mind our standards for "MRP APPROVED" are way, way below the standard for TRP ENDORSED CONTRIBUTOR. All you need to do is have OBVIOUSLY read the sidebar materials, you are owning your shit and working to improve, and you "get it." That's it. Lol, ok. I found the RP via MMSL (before it became a forum) and TRM about 5 years ago. I've read every book in sidebar and then some. I've been around the block a few times but strangely just now finding my way here to MRP. We don’t see women going …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/16 09:06 PM
1

As for 'another married RP' I'm pretty sure that most that are divorced are prior to their MAP. Maybe 1 or 2 that I'm aware of (or had theprofessor allude to) are actually divorced afterwards. Your assumption of this place as a petrie dish for failed relationships means you probably don't get it yet. That's an interesting statistic, personally I would have expected more. I'm loath to equate 'divorce after MAP' as necessarily a failure... most likely as I fall into that category and consider my M…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/16 06:58 PM
13

'Alpha Widow' is a bit of a misnomer... A woman's 'Alpha High Score' is closer to reality. They keep track, judge all others against, and pine for their greatest alpha. Always be a woman's Alpha High Score.
/r/TheRedPill19/02/16 09:16 PM
-1

It exists in cultures with no cars. As does hypergamy and dualistic sexual strategies. The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies: For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own. The 'Mid-Life Crises' is nothing more than a than a shaming technique, hard-wired in the FI, used by the hamster to prevent a man from leveraging his increasing SMV as he ages and hers declines.
/r/TheRedPill19/02/16 03:47 PM
7

Yup, utter bullshit created by the FI to shame men from recognizing and capitalizing on the SMV crossover... http://therationalmale.com/2012/11/19/mid-life-crisis/
/r/TheRedPill19/02/16 03:37 PM
1

This is why married/LTR RP is called 'RP on hard-mode'. Obviously, it can be done, go over to MRP for evidence. Bottomline, you got comfortable and broke frame. Frame is everything. Frame = alpha. There's a reason why Rollo's #1 rule is about maintaining frame. If you can't be sufficiently introspective and acknowledge how you failed then you haven't fully internalize the RP and still have a bit of work to do. Get busy!
/r/TheRedPill18/02/16 10:28 PM
2

Pro tip: this is true of just about anything in life. Parenting. Career. Friends. Abundance mentality is powerful. In my journey of internalizing the RP and getting to that place where I'm motoring on all cylinders, I've come to understand that abundance mentality is at the very core of success vs. failure. Until you understand that the universe is truly abundant and your limits are only those which you self impose, you will continue to struggle with maintaining frame, being your mental point of…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 05:55 PM
7

That's very unfortunate. Apparently, he's never read 'The myth of the Lonely Old Man' http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/12/the-myth-of-the-lonely-old-man/
/r/TheRedPill17/02/16 03:30 PM
6

Great article, brother. Whether you’re a newly unplugged dude or a seasoned Vet who has had a solid ‘Red Pill’ marriage for years, don’t become complacent or forget how fucking awesome it is to be a man in a sea of feminized bitches. Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty and there is no liberty greater than owning your shit and walking your path as a high value man. And yup, we're wolves amongst the sheep... never forget it. My favorite quote and words I live by from Rollo's 'The Myth of the…
/r/TheRedPill16/02/16 07:41 PM
1

Yup, worked for me! Its takes trauma (such as cheating) to break down those BP ego investments and make you open to swallowing the RP. Nope, you can't make a horse drink, or lead him to water... he has to get there on his own.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/16 06:27 PM
39

I can co-sign this. I was the biggest fucking chump before my ex fucked a co-worker and I took the RP. I put a very promising engineering career on the back-burner and became the primary care-giver to her kids to support her fast-track career aspirations... can you say cuckold? Fucking idiot? Took the RP, lost 100 lbs running, lifting, got my mojo back, and walked away... quite literally. Started over in a small apartment with just a dinette, couch and bed. Fucking loved it. Now, best shape of m…
/r/TheRedPill15/02/16 04:28 PM
2

This ^ My ex abandoned our boys and kidnapped our daughter to another state, thinking I'd roll over... fat fucking chance! I hired a shark lawyer, got a court order, my daughter returned (judges get furious when parents take kids out of their jurisdiction) and she folded like a wet paper towel. I got sole custody and child support from her!
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/16 03:15 PM
3

I went from 42 to 32 during my transformation... Few things better in this world than making a pair of jeans look damn good and your wife lusting for you to take them off already!
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/16 03:02 PM
1

TTB, love the reference to Roosevelt's 'Man in the Arena' speech. Many guys here would do well to read and ponder before going off half-cocked. What you fail to recognize is that if he just runs away without internalizing that the issue was him he will just bring these same failures to another relationship. My thoughts exactly. As I said above, he needs to figure out why he does what he does or he'll become the poster child for Einstein's definition of insanity.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 03:36 PM
2

Life is about choices... what we do and what we allow. It's pretty easy to see that what you've done and allowed has been in her frame, because you're operating from a place of fear. What are you afraid of? Loss? Rejection? Scarcity? You need to dig deep inside yourself and get to the source or you're going to be the poster child for Einstein's definition of insanity.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/16 03:29 PM
2

Ultimatums are the ultimate DLV... You're acknowledging that you have no power in the relationship, let alone over yourself. Even in MMSLP-Land, there are no ultimatums. You give a 'phase 4' statement of expectations and proceed straight to 'phase 5' and acting single. Ultimatums? Just don't do it.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/16 05:11 PM
1

Great post and this is the money quote. Behavior -> Result -> If bad = wasn't me -> no learning -> no change in behavior, repeat. Yup, 'victims' are very easy to spot... they're the one's living in Einstein's definition of insanity. Life is just a series of choices... what you do and what you allow, and each is just a learning opportunity to gain mastery in your life.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/16 06:33 PM
1

Men often come to the red pill and get stuck in purple-pill purgatory, 'bargaining' for a red pill solution to their blue pill problems, and missing the whole (only?) point to embracing the red pill. They have a gross misconception of the “reward” of the red pill. The reward is living to your highest potential, on your terms. The reward is prioritizing and provisioning for yourself, understanding your self worth, and allowing only the people into your life who add value. Are women the reward? No…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/16 05:10 PM
1

Ok, I hear you and I'm perfectly fine with just agreeing to disagree and such, but I think we're reading into the OP's 'failure to lead' with very different perspectives. Failure to lead as a red pill aware man is not the same being a non-functioning adult and not contributing to the marriage in good faith. Given that significantly less than 1% of men are RP aware, there are plenty of blue pill marriages that muddle through just fine. From what I read, the OP's only crime was doubling down on th…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 07:46 PM
1

I assert that she's poor wife material by what she's choosing to do now, post separation. If you adhere to the Captain-FO philosophy, having a capable FO who competent in the face of adversity is essential. The OP's wife has shown her true mettle and she's not worthy.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 06:57 PM
1

I don't think that anyone would argue your point of the OP having a major part in the breakdown of the marriage, but let's focus on the OP's post-separation comments of the wife's behavior. I'm with Rollo in the "go by what they do" philosophy. Since the separation, the wife is a disaster, her home is a disaster, and the kid's emotional well-being during week of custody is suffering. Even the kid's teachers can tell what week she has them. This is behavior of her choosing... she's choosing to fa…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 06:21 PM
3

Agree with /u/SorcererKing that fighting/drama is what fucks kids up. Studies also show that kids will always gravitate towards and emulate the saner/functional parent. OP, it's clear that your kids are 'gravitating' towards you, so take some solace that you are doing your job right. Be the rock and the role model they need and your kids will be just fine. Also be aware that the best thing for your kids is a happy, relaxed, steady, stable dad. Keep doing what you're doing... it's working.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 04:29 PM
1

Agreed. More context is required to for a more accurate assessment. I do think it's important for the OP to understand that "macho" is a classic shaming word used by the feminine-imperative to manipulate a man into compliance, hence my interpretation. That said, your point is valid. OP, quite often newly unplugged husbands interpret 'become more alpha' as going all caveman in a 'fake it before you make it' approach. As RP married veterans well know, this does not have the desired effect. If you …
/r/askMRP25/01/16 04:38 PM
1

IMO, the "macho and whatever" comment is a shaming tactic to get him to release frame back to her.
/r/askMRP25/01/16 03:58 PM
2

IMO, nothing to handle or 'reset' here. What you've got is a woman who's experiencing some significant dread because you're no longer a simpering BP chump, you're handling your shit, and she's no longer in control of the relationship. Sit back for a bit and enjoy the moment and then get immediately back to work. Don't respond, at most shrug it off. Anything else would be losing frame. Stay the course.
/r/askMRP25/01/16 03:55 PM
2

Other commenters are giving you sound advise but I want to touch the concept of 'comfort' in the RP context. There are two types... Alpha: You provide relationship comfort, without agenda, because the person is worthy of your most precious resource (time) and it pleases you to do so. Beta: You provide comfort, often by covert contract, because of the failed strategy of relational equity... "In order to get what I want, I have to give first." If you can internalize one thing, make it this... Alph…
/r/askMRP21/01/16 05:53 PM
2

Want to co-sign on this. I found/took the red pill because I caught my 2nd (ex) wife cheating. I moved quickly through 'anger phase' and got stuck in the purple-pilled purgatory, also known as 'bargaining'. I convinced myself that I couldn't afford to be a two-time loser and the red pill was going to get my wife back. LOL! What a fricking joke! After some huge successes (100 lb lost, type 2 diabetes reversed), the old mojo returned, frame (mostly) restored, on the path to internalizing me as my …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 10:12 PM
2

Yeah, pretty blunt but the harsh reality is when the wife asks for the separation, it's (more often than not) because she wants to fuck other men (on your dime) without interference. That said, which you seem to be processing well, she's not your problem anymore. Move on, build the life you envision for you... if you decide, from a mindset of abundance, that she's still worthy of coming along for the ride, so be it, it's your call... always. Otherwise, civility (from a frame of healthy self-inte…
/r/askMRP15/01/16 03:13 PM
3

Yeah, the "she was feeling a little sad, saying she hoped I was OK" comment was pure female solipsistic projection. She's feeling some dread and doesn't it. OP, maintain the skepticism and ambivalence... focusing on you and your daughter is priority one. The 'relationship' belongs on the back-burner while you figure out what you want. You are the prize, make her do the work.
/r/askMRP14/01/16 07:49 PM
1

Ageed. Alpha = Frame. Period. Every Alpha you know or is portrayed on the screen has rock solid frame. This is exactly why Rollo says Alpha is a mindset, not a demographic
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 05:29 PM
1

Pretty sure it's only sexual harassment if the gf complains. But this is what SJWs do... outrage by proxy.
/r/TheRedPill13/01/16 08:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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