~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The reason why a lot of men are struggling is because they do not want to date at their level. Below average men should date below average women. If you want better be better. Why are you asking another person to lower their standards for you, when you wont lower your standards?What determines your level? I've had people who are considered average interested in me. I've had very conventionally attractive women interested in me. I've had what some might say conventionally unattractive women be not attracted to me too. So it really depends and it isn't universal what people choose to see in someone will vary. Who are below average men and women? Who falls under above average and who falls under average? Who sets the rules and standards for what league your in? What relia… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 01:59 PM |
| 1 | men are now more disillusioned with women than vice versa.I honestly think it's somewhat needed. Maybe through this, men will create healthier and much needed standards and boundaries when it comes to dating instead of doing whatever they can to get a girl to give him a chance. There's a lot of self abandonment in the ways men tend to pursue women which sets men up for failure more often than not. It may lead to social change for the better. The burden of curating romance and dating may stop largely being in the shoulders or men and maybe everyone will… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 10:31 AM |
| 7 | Handsome and Socially intelligent dude tries for 6 months in dating apps and failing miserably, shows that as a man if you want playtime, you must make dating your everything to get anything in the dating marketDating is really a second job for A Lot of men. The passivity, and persistence to selectively participate or follow through really put other party working 9 to 5 plus overtime | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/26 04:24 PM |
| 1 | Women are not more emotionally intelligent, Men just complain lessIts also knowing when to not external your feelings so that you involve others inappropriately and deal with it independently. Although expression is good and should be exercised to a degreee; Sometimes what weask for people to do for us is inappropriate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 03:31 PM |
| 2 | Going Out Alone as a Guy in a New City Is BrutalHonestly, there's a more politics to getting know people as you get older. Especially as a man. You have a better chance meeting people through activities, clubs, institutions, other men first. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/26 09:14 AM |
| 1 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsLook, I think some of this is being taken more personally than it was intended. I’m not talking about anyone’s individual standards or whether they are “too high” or “too low.” This wasn’t directed at any person specifically, and it’s not a gendered argument. If you saw that way or are arguing about the semantics what does high or low mean, that a you thing. I never claimed to know where the line is. Just saying in pursuit of the line, it's not always going to be an "upward trajectory". That jus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 05:31 PM |
| 1 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsHow does this contradict my point? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 04:49 PM |
| 1 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsHi, are you referring to something i said or someone else? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 04:45 PM |
| 1 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsI agree with you—chemistry and vibe are important, and I’m not arguing that you should ignore them or push through a relationship where there’s zero connection. Looking back, it wasn't my best example My point is more general: the idea that “higher standards automatically lead to better dating outcomes” isn’t always true in practice. At a certain point, increasing selectivity can reduce your chances of finding a compatible partner just as much as being too lenient can. So I’m not trying to defin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 04:42 PM |
| 2 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsI don't even like the terminology sometimes cause it can read as snobbish/pompous in a way (at least to me). Something to be proud of and to display to others. That's why used qoutes in the title. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 04:10 PM |
| 1 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsI actually agree with most of what you’ve said. If your standards come from experience, genuine self-awareness, and are helping you avoid relationships you already know won’t work for you, then I think they’re probably serving their purpose. The part I’m questioning is the assumption that more selectivity is always a better strategy. I think there’s a difference between filtering for genuine incompatibilities and continually adding more preferences because they seem like they’ll improve the outc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 04:07 PM |
| 2 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsi literally don’t give a shit 🤷🏽♀️ If you don't care, cool. But this post wasnt specifically about you or any one group of people. This wasn't directed to anyone specifically nor was a command to lower any ones standards. I was just point out that being picking doesn't always mean you pick better all the time. That being picky potentially comes with it's problems. What I consider “extreme” might be different from what you consider extreme I don't think or ever claimed there has to be a universa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:53 PM |
| 3 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsI’m genuinely glad it worked out for you, and I don’t think your experience contradicts what I’m saying. If anything, I’d actually say your standards sound like they were effective, not just “high.” They clearly helped you filter toward someone who genuinely fits you. So in that sense, I don’t disagree with the outcome or the approach as it worked for you. My argument isn’t that high standards can’t lead to good relationships. It’s that a successful outcome doesn’t automatically prove the filter… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:42 PM |
| -2 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsI think we're talking past each other a bit cause i do agree with a lot of what you're saying but some of it is not really talking about what im talking about. I'm not arguing against having standards, or saying people should compromise on things that genuinely matter to them. I'm questioning how accurately we can identify, before a relationship exists, which criteria actually predict the long-term outcome we're looking for. When you say "a good partner would meet my standards," I agree if those… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:28 PM |
| 1 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsWhether you treat picking a partner as a want or need, being picky to the point that it does you a disserve will still dampen the success of the relationship outcomes you may want. Being content with being single is great. If your singleness is hinged on nobody being good enough to be with you, maybe you're conditioned yourself to be unable to get into and develop a relationship with someone. In that case, sure, “I can tolerate this person” might be the bar. I never said or implied anything abou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:18 PM |
| 0 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsWhy is it always intentionally left vague? I didn't use examples as initially thought it wasn't necessary to give many examples but since a few comments, I tried to give examples on my edited post body assuming other would ask the same as you so i might as well answer them on the post but i also address here: High standards in the context of my post is anything that isn't really a healthy or useful standard to uphold. For example, the standards you have for someone's character traits such one wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 02:56 PM |
| 1 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsI see your point about superficial desires being a problem that is more prevalent in young adults. Do you believe that is it always the case that with time and experience, people's standards will typically get better or are there instances where they get worse in the sense that they are counterproductive to the pursuit of a relationship which they may claim they want ultimately. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 01:48 PM |
| 0 | Having increasingly high "standards" doesn’t make you more discerning, nor does it guarantee better relationshipsNo cause this post wasn't just about straight women's standards. This was a post in response to another post which someone was speaking about low standards and how it doesn't necessarily mean you can love deeply or it will lead to better relationships. A lot of women who have responded with the assumption it was solely about them and ran with it but it this post was not centered around women cause everybody can and often do do this in their way. Sure women may tend to do it more often, maybe but… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 01:40 PM |
| 4 | What do you mean by “social skills”?I get where you’re coming from. I also tend to view social skills as tools. But what confuses me in these discussions is how often people (intentionally or not) frame it as “if you just use the right tools correctly, the desired outcome will happen.” Instead of the more realistic “these tools might help increase your chances.” Or that certain "bad" tools can be more effective if you get what I mean. I’ve seen people say/do genuinely insane or socially inappropriate things and still get away with… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 01:32 PM |
| 5 | What do you mean by “social skills”?I think some of my points got misinterpreted, so ill try to clarify them: I’m not saying dating should be deterministic or that following certain “rules” guarantees a girlfriend/sex. In fact, I agree with you — dating is often quite random and not merit based. People’s choices are messy and influenced by many factors. That the same behaviour can have different outcomes. My actual issue is the opposite: the very common deterministic framing in dating advice given to/observation s about men. The f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 01:14 PM |
| 0 | What do you mean by “social skills”?With regards to those expectations, I just think there is an unhealthy pattern of some women's individual desires conveyed as universal law instead of personal preference? Cause there are a subset of women who make bold broad declarations of how men should behave and move about in the world even in behalf of other women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 12:43 PM |
| -1 | What do you mean by “social skills”?Real | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 12:34 PM |
| – | I always assumed most people on dating apps don’t want commitment due to COL, not being “trash”What is COL? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 12:33 PM |
| 1 | If women are the problem, why do you want them to birth and raise more kids?Bro, I get you. A lot posts here are built upon a false premise and when you disagree with the premise itself, instead of what the premise proposes, some people argue in circles to get you to submit to their way of thinking. It's debating in bad faith and you shouldn't be going back and forth with someone with an ulterior motive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 12:32 PM |
| 1 | What do you mean by “social skills”?I'm not really asking for advice on social skills cause I do pretty well anyway. Im just curious to how you guys define it personally as there is often a disagreement or assumption about men's social fluency or lack there of in the sub when the topic comes up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 12:20 PM |
| 2 | Prediction: More and more men will opt out of pursuing LTRs with women because it's not worth it (unless you want kids and a family)It's already happening and I love to see it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/26 02:19 PM |
| 0 | The manosphere thrives because society has failed to provide an alternative.The manosphere has failed for the most part. In large due to certain men exploiting other men who seeked refuge and felt seen in those spaces. Then black pill content emerged as a consequenc of the perceived hopelessness of a society that a lot of men believe doesn't want them nor is supportive of them. The only thing these communities have ever exceeded in is allowing men to feel more comfortable discussing their grievances with the opposite sex and how society treats them compared to the oppos… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/26 06:28 AM |
| 4 | The manosphere thrives because society has failed to provide an alternative.What I notice is that a lot of women, when claiming they are helping men, hijack the conversation, tell themselves they are correct about things irrespective of what men relayed experiences and push men to just do what they tell them to do despite the obvious disagreement with their takes and/or feedback that what they suggested didn't work. Demanding compliance and calling it helping. Insistently implying I'm with their actions and words that they know men and anything to do with relationships,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/26 06:09 AM |
| 2 | Men not wanting to pay for the date indicates lack of interest and low aggreeableness"He wants to be close to me so pays" You shouldn't be going out with people you don't also want to be close with. You seeing dating certain men as a "favour" they have to pay for is a you problem. Paying for one or two dates doesn’t prove compability, future closeness or commitment any more than you continuing to get to go on these dates proves you seriously want persue a relationship with him after he’s spent money. Plenty of women do exactly that — enjoy an experience(s)/treats/gifts at the ex… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 08:36 PM |
| 2 | Men not wanting to pay for the date indicates lack of interest and low aggreeablenessIf you want men you're not close with like that to give you money and to treat you to things, just say that. You don't have to make essays trying rationalize wanting free stuff even from people you don't have a real relationship with yet. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 05:28 PM |
| 4 | Men not wanting to pay for the date indicates lack of interest and low aggreeablenessWhy should men who barely know you, you barely know be self sacrifying? Most first(s) dates don't even go anywhere so why do you expect men to financially invest early in something that has not even been established? Why is it, in a time where women make just as much money, are just as unpredictable in their choice and are as capable of exploiting others as men are; women aren't expected to put their money where their mouth is and show in any capacity that they went on a date for the right reaso… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 05:10 PM |
| 1 | Men not wanting to pay for the date indicates lack of interest and low aggreeablenessThat's because of pressure, not desire. People can feel pressured to do things they don't like to keep people they do like around. Especially if its a social norm. Idk why there is so much emphasis on a men taking the sole financial burden of first dates when in those first encounters. You two don't know each other not have you established the kind of relationship where treating someone to a meal makes sense. Why do you want a stranger you may never want to speak to again to spend money you? If … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 04:40 PM |
| – | Women are larping loneliness.True. But sometimes we need to realise people are settting themselves up for misery. If you want a car and the only car that can give you joy and contentment is a Ferrari, then that's a you problem. If what you are looking for in a partner is just a rare as finding a Ferrari and you can't be happy with a pretty good person that matches most of the important boxes, then you're the problem. The "bare minimum" isn't just what you demand but also what you can realistically get. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/26 06:52 PM |
| 2 | Redpill tactics are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect for high quality womenCould you define what quality is in this context? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 03:09 PM |
| 2 | The Emotional Baggage ProblemI hope this is a troll post and it's not real. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 03:07 PM |
| 15 | The Emotional Baggage ProblemYour fiance is 19 now so how old was she when you met her? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 09:33 AM |
| 2 | Men fail to understand that women want to be chosen, not settled for.The idea that women want to be genuinely chosen rather than settled for is understandable. No one wants to feel like a backup option or "good enough." That said, there are some logical tensions worth examining: If the basis for being chosen is primarily attractiveness, that's inherently fragile — there's almost always someone more attractive out there. For deeper reasons (personality, compatibility, partnership), it raises the question: have you actively worked to be a great partner to that pers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/26 08:38 AM |
| 15 | No one told men marriage was gonna be a nonstop fuck fest.I think people often misunderstood the idea of what “owing” your spouse is. I don’t think that framing is accurate in a literal sense. A relationship, especially a marriage is a commitment to actively invest in the relationship—to act in good faith, to communicate honestly, and to try your best to meet each other’s needs where reasonably possible. That's why their are vows in weddings ceremonies. They’re a declaration of taking responsibility toward the health of the relationship and the part yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 02:47 PM |
| 0 | Women appreciate compliments, just not from guys who obviously want sex as a thank you.I think a lot of this discussion misses something important. Yes, some men use compliments as a strategy to get laid. Some men absolutely have ulterior motives. But once you've decided that every compliment from a man has an agenda, you're no longer evaluating the individual in front of you. You're evaluating a stereotype. At some point, the question becomes whether you're seeing a person or whether you're seeing a category and assigning motives before they've given you evidence of them. If a ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:55 PM |
| 2 | Redpill guys will do anything to get women except being respectful to women.Just cause you say things with a full stop doesn't make it true. We actually don't know if the majority of men see eye to eye on this or anything for that matter unless people actually do a stat on that. That's a clip in YouTube for a random show. If you're basing your comments on random clips of people in YouTube and TikTok that are meant to be provocative; your opinions may no't be strong enough to keep bringing up these kind of topics. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/26 11:38 PM |
| 8 | Redpill guys will do anything to get women except being respectful to women.They did and it didn't help much. That's why they are red pillers. If being nice, respectful and treating women like human beings (whatever that means) was enough, red pill dating discourse and PUA people wouldn't exist. If being a good boy was rewarded and incentived; more men would be that. There was a question on here about if women see how women can collective fuel the red pill ideology. Truth is, you don't need the Andrew Tate's and podcast bros to have men turn to these groups. Plenty of w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/26 02:10 PM |
| 5 | The idea that men enjoy the chase is completely made up.It is often women who like attention but not necessarily the man and/or are avoidant. Also men who technically aren't really chasing cause getting into relationships with women to them is so easy that the chase to them is just one instance where they had to do the minimum effort other men do. But lately it's mostly women than men that perpetuate this idea cause THEY are the ones who liked it but won't own it so they say men love doing so much just to get a moment to spend time with them. Which i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 03:39 PM |
| – | The fact that women that they can't show any friendliness to a man because they take even the smallest bit of kindness romantic/sexual attraction, is proof why women vague "hints/signs" are silly.Don't mind her. She's being childish | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 02:37 PM |
| 6 | Self-proclaimed "nice guys" are not nice guysWhat are with these unnuanced labels? Also the self proclaiming isnt as rampant as people say it is. If anything, women are often the ones who are quick to put these men in a box and complain when they don't stay in the place you put them in. Sometimes y'all act like act men make public announcements of wat they are and say that is all they are ever going to be. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/26 08:03 AM |
| 0 | If men focus on compatibility, they wouldn’t have to ‘play jester’ and be ‘Dance Monkeys’ on dates.If women focused on compatibility they wouldn't act in a way that makes jestering seem like the only way to get their atention and get some kind progress going. It takes two to tango and a lot of women indirectly/directly encourage that behaviour from men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/26 05:27 PM |
| 14 | Men need to start leaving women alone.I fully agree with that. As much as men are often stereotyped to be the sole reason why the dating pool is piss, women are just as unserious and need a lot of work to do before actually dating; if not more so. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/26 11:22 AM |
| 1 | Men need to stop trying to get women to like them.I think men have a have hard time enforcing their standards and boundaries with women out of fear of losing their chances with them. As such, men try to work overtime to address their wants and needs except for asking that from the woman they are talking to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/26 04:57 PM |
| 1 | Men often look for a stable relationship in order to have a regular sex life.i think when men and sex become a topic of conversion people conflate men making sex a big priority in a relationship to it being the ONLY priority in the relationship. Also, just because it is often a point of concern men often bring up doesn't necessarily mean that is the only thing they care about. It can also be that it is usually a source of a lot problems and challenges in comparison to other areas. I've also seen men make sex their bare minimum in the face of feeling like they won't be ab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/26 09:38 PM |
| – | We agree alot with each other, but for some reason men are wrong for saying it.So simply put it, when men say it, it makes women look bad cause they actually kinda look bad. When women say it, they try to frame it so they don't look bad, even though it's pretty bad. They are doing Olympic level verbal gymnastics to duck negative perception even when it's accurate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 06:03 PM |
| – | “I’d date a chopped guy who’s funny” is womanese for “I’d date a chopped guy who’s charismatic/high status”I knew things were getting goofy when women started calling average looking men medium ugly while almost consistently, women would call anyone a ten, regardless of how they looked. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 05:47 PM |
| 16 | Men, stop making unhinged and hyperbolic statements if you dont want to be ‘strawmanned’.This is kind of ironic, because your entire post is criticizing people for being hyperbolic and hard to engage with… while doing exactly that. You’ve already done it multiple times—especially in your reply to me on your “men are lazy” post: Me: “Social skills only matter if people are willing to engage with you long enough for those skills to actually show.” You: “Unless the guy has a very severe birth defect, he’s just an asshole then.” Me: “But people massively underestimate how much initial p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 05:43 PM |
| 0 | Refusing to work on social skills is a sign of laziness.What I’m pushing back on isn’t the idea that social skills matter—it’s the habit some people have of reducing men’s struggles down to “bad social skills,” “bad personality,” or “bad character,” especially when they don’t actually know those men well enough to make that call. That framing is way too convenient. It turns a complex, inconsistent social dynamic into a simple moral diagnosis: if you’re not getting good reactions, it must be your fault. But social interaction doesn’t work like that. P… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 05:08 PM |
| 0 | Refusing to work on social skills is a sign of laziness."Unless the guy has a very severe birth defect, he’s just an asshole then." "Unless the guy has a severe birth defect, he’s doing something like masturbating in front of people" Now you're just talking shyt. You're trying to paint a picture that women only write off men because they are "defected"or degenerates. Most men who struggle don't fit into your very convenient framing. Women are not "holier than thou" with the people they choose to entertain or hear out. It's funny that women can have a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/26 07:40 AM |
| 21 | Refusing to work on social skills is a sign of laziness.Social skills only matter if people are willing to engage with you long enough for those skills to actually show. I agree that improving how you talk to people helps. But people massively underestimate how much initial perception decides whether you even get that chance in the first place. This heavily applies in dating. There are plenty of men and women with poor social skills who still have active social and dating lives—not because they “worked on themselves,” but because they’re attractive, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/26 03:48 PM |
| – | What is something you would like the opposite sex to do/not do in dating/relationships/friendships that you feel should change and is quite reasonable to ask? What do you think you'd need to do to push the change you want to see?u/Financial_Leave4411 do you think the work around would really...work? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/04/26 11:02 PM |
| – | What is something you would like the opposite sex to do/not do in dating/relationships/friendships that you feel should change and is quite reasonable to ask? What do you think you'd need to do to push the change you want to see?That's a weird rule to have. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/04/26 11:00 PM |
| – | What is something you would like the opposite sex to do/not do in dating/relationships/friendships that you feel should change and is quite reasonable to ask? What do you think you'd need to do to push the change you want to see?I havent seen a rule that says you only can ask the opposite sex questions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/04/26 10:31 PM |
| – | What is something you would like the opposite sex to do/not do in dating/relationships/friendships that you feel should change and is quite reasonable to ask? What do you think you'd need to do to push the change you want to see?You're right. i don't know what he's on about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/04/26 10:05 PM |
| 2 | Sex isn't a "need". Men just want to have sex because it'll give them status among other men.You think i im thinking about how other men think of me when im with a woman? Lol. I think other people are more worried about men's status and power than men themselves. I most certainly need to have a heathy and vibrant sex life with any partner of mine. Non sexual physical affection included. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/04/26 08:36 PM |
| – | Men should be taught that they are most likely going to be aloone if they don't improveDoesnt society already tell us that? A lot. All the time | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/26 01:39 PM |
| 1 | Simps are the problem.https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/breaking-the-norm-experiment-makes-men-and-women-equally-picky-when-selecting-a-mate.html Some of the "traditions" of dating just set men up for failure more easily. This study really shows that when you are the approacher, you standards tend to mellow out while as the approachee, you raise your standards. If we think about it being the approachee, you have a greater illusion of options as well as actually viable ones. So it doesn't cost that mu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/04/26 10:04 AM |
| 9 | 2 core problems with modern dating: no more clear rules, and expecting immediate “magic” attraction.Problem 2 is very interesting. I do think waiting for someone to "make" you like them is big problem. I've been in a lot of talking stages and i must say, most women take a very passive approach. Like they are waiting for something. Rarely have I had a woman really try to get to know me or actively assess if we'd work. It feels like they are just waiting on me to make the relationship happen. Only then will she fully engage. Until then, I must somehow work around her and her passivity. it may be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/26 02:43 AM |
| 1 | Negging and shit-testing are the same thing.I've been n knowing girls negging too | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/26 04:42 PM |
| 1 | A woman who’s with an obviously terrible man is also a terrible person.Birds of a feather | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/26 04:37 PM |
| – | Trying to make your potential spouse too many things can set up your relationship to fail.I want a deep connection with my spouse that may be akin to friendship but i make distinction between friendship and partnership. I have a close friend already and there are certain things i can't go to my partner this that i can go to my friend with and vice versa. Assuming both relationships are good and healthy. I just feel like there's a difference. My friends and i can enjoy gaming. She doesn't need to love it. I just need her to give me space to do me. It would be nice to have someone who … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/26 01:25 PM |
| 1 | I think people should lay out all their cards on the table before they enter into a relationship.I feel like experience is a double edge sword. It either makes you better or worse for the next person but ultimately, one could say that, all the experience you get from other women is you learning how to be a better partner for THEM and not for the person in front of you. Valuing experience kind of implies that the women you were with are the same as them assuming you have a past. Which is silly to think. Not matter your history, you have to relearn for you new partner. Despite that, i do unde… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/26 08:41 PM |
| 1 | I think people should lay out all their cards on the table before they enter into a relationship.How did you approach it things and what would you advice men or women about bringing up the more important and sometimes more difficult topic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/26 08:15 PM |
| 2 | I think people should lay out all their cards on the table before they enter into a relationship.It's not comparing you to anyone else. It's asking if someone has baggage that might not let them be capable of being the best partner they could be in the relationship they want to be . Like i said, these are example kind of questions. Not fixed rules to follow. If you don't like them, make your own questions. Read into it however you want. I wrote them with the intention of helping people who are concerned about baggage, particularly emotional and sexual baggage, to ask more effective question… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/26 04:05 PM |
| 10 | I think people should lay out all their cards on the table before they enter into a relationship.Anything you really value in relationship you want to make sure the other person is on the page with you. It could be money and how yall spend it. It could how ready they are emotionally and how you approach relationships. It could be intimacy. When i say intimacy i don't just mean physically and when i mean physically, i don't just mean sex. Some people aren't huggers, cuddlers. Some people wince at the thought of physical contact of any form so you may want to know what's what if they may both… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/26 03:31 PM |
| 5 | I think people should lay out all their cards on the table before they enter into a relationship.I only brought those questions up as examples of what one could ask instead of asking about body count if people are worried about sexual compatibility as it often a big concern for men and some women, yet the generic questions people seem to ask don't really hit the nail the head on what exactly it is that they are worried about. And to be fair, a lot of those questions aren't all inherently solely about sex. Many aspects of past relationships outside of the context of sex can also affect you a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/26 03:22 PM |
| 5 | I think people should lay out all their cards on the table before they enter into a relationship.I hear that argument. To me, just going with the flow and being silent isn't going to help either. They were always going to manipulate and abusive. At least laying out all the cards you need to lay out, you have a memo what was discussed, if their action and words now match up with what they said before, if they are using what you said against them. If like it's easier to find a bad able when you put to the light instead of letting it stay in the dark, if you know what I mean. Not a guarantee o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/26 01:15 PM |
| 2 | Men confuse their desire as effortHow would you define who you are and has who you are stayed the same throughout your life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 04:46 PM |
| 1 | Men confuse their desire as effortFair. I do think me and other believe your body, face and general looks are so closely bonded with you that they are a part of anyone's identity though. No matter how significant or insignificant you may feel your looks are to you, they are apart of you. Following the idea of your looks not being who you are, some women claim they want the same thing...yet heavily lean on their appearance and not much else anyway. Some may express who they are by how they look and how they dress as well. When me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 04:45 PM |
| 5 | Men confuse their desire as effortThere's only so much someone can do to make things work with someone. I feel the topic of effort gets very one sided when the effort always seem like a moving goal post for men and very convenient excuse for women for not liking someone or the failure a connection/relationship. With a lot of women who expect a lot just for looking pretty and showing up, i'd argue a lot of women equate desirability as effort just as much if not more than men. There is very little discourse among women on being we… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 02:42 PM |
| 1 | Men that want to be seen as "hookup material" should only date women who hookup with themNah, not the same day. Those were general flings and some of them did develop into something more. All my relationships just happened at some point, but it didn't take a long time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 01:48 PM |
| 1 | Men that want to be seen as "hookup material" should only date women who hookup with themif you say so, man. I just don't think it's that deep. Cause from your understand, all my relationships have been hookups which i dont feel that way. I don't how long people have to wait to have sex until it doesn't qualify as hookup, i guess. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 01:35 PM |
| 1 | Men that want to be seen as "hookup material" should only date women who hookup with themNot really. I don't really care. Also just cause i sleep with someone early on doesn't mean is a hookup. It just means we both felt turned on and ready to go. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 01:29 PM |
| 1 | Men that want to be seen as "hookup material" should only date women who hookup with themI mean, you never know when i relationship will run it's course. Whether it is explicitly stated that things arent going to last or that the intention is prolong the relations and see how far it goes; hoping it lasts as long as it can, you can never solely know how long a relationships going to be. It might be sooner rather than later. Also, short term and long term are relative. Some people may see a couple of month as a short term relationship. Some people may see that since they have been wit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 01:05 PM |
| 1 | Men that want to be seen as "hookup material" should only date women who hookup with themHonestly, i would and would if we were compatible in any other way. To me, all relationships start off as short term as you never know what either party may learn about one another that may make one of them break up. The time in which we have sex has little to no impact on if i want to date them except maybe a mismatch in desire cause i'd like to be with someone who is on the same page as me when it comes to sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 12:44 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Women should not pay for their own flight to see a guy.Are you doing him a favour when you have sex with him or are you doing it because you also want to have sex? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/26 06:15 PM |
| 4 | Being honest about adultery is a good thing, not a bad thing.I 100% agree with you. Im just saying you be honest won't necessarily mean they will choose to stay with you, it just means you helped them make informed decision. Some people may think honesty will save the relationship despite how off putting what they are honest about is. That's what i wanted to convey. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/26 10:52 AM |
| – | The main reason same-aged relationships tend to be more successful than age gap relationships is that men, in the long-run, gain more power in same-aged relationships but lose power in AGRsI think more women than men are preoccupied with power dynamics in relationships more than men are. It's kinda weird to ruminate on that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/26 10:42 AM |
| 6 | Being honest about adultery is a good thing, not a bad thing.Honesty is good but it doesn't mean people have to put with what you're honest about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/26 10:22 AM |
| 1 | CMV: Women should not pay for their own flight to see a guy.So?? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/26 10:17 AM |
| 1 | CMV: Women should not pay for their own flight to see a guy.Then she put her money where her mouth is. If she wanted to she would. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/26 10:17 AM |
| 1 | CMV: Most guys don’t fail in dating because of looks or status.. They fail because they don’t understand banter.No matter how great a communicator you are, how charismatic you can be and how great you are in banter, a person who is unwilling or unable to match your energy will always ruin the vibe you were seeking to create. The best times i've had great banter with women were when the women themselves were interesting and interested. Their effort and desire to go back and forth with me made connecting with them a lot easier. a Some of them may have claimed im a smooth talker or a flirt. I know im not. Bu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/26 10:02 AM |
| 5 | More men struggle with women because more men are boringThe men are boring chat is not fair cause often women don't really get pressured to be interesting in dating. There is very little to no bar for them to show up and be exciting. If they are, that's their personality but more often than not I and a lot of men can agree that a lot of women approach dating as them accessing whether the person they are with is great, exciting, kind.... while not really paying attention how they portray themselves. The meme with the jester dancing in front of the bor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/26 09:44 AM |
| 1 | If sex work was truly a job as any other, we would have no problem promoting it for high schools studentsThere are certain jobs outside of sex work which shouldn't be marketed to young adults at all but are still jobs. I will say that, if sex work is work and sex workers shouldn't be stigmatized for it, then people shouldn't innately have a stigma with the consumers of said work cause that is literally keeping up that economy. I personally don't partake cause i need to know the person i am sleeping with actually likes me but i do believe that If there is a version of sex work that is legitimate and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/26 07:10 PM |
| – | You’re not a good person just because you proclaim so.In the same breath, no ones is a bad person just because you proclaim they are. Some people call men fake nice or manipulative for initially trying to be charming, getting rejected, then later being indifferent to the person that rejected them. To me, that's a natural response to a door being closed. I don't keep fawning over or keep giving special treatment to people i realize i have no future relationship/friendship with. I treat them like the acquittances/strangers that they are cause im movi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 05:07 PM |
| 1 | Just because someone doesn't want to do things your way or in your timeline, doesn't mean they don't like or that they are the bad guys.Exactly. I think it's harder for people who want to wait to convey their intentions and how they feel cause from the outside looking in, it may just feel like you're just keeping someone around that you're not sure about. So it doesn't feel like things aren't moving anywhere. For people who move faster, it's conveying they arent there for just thrills and instant gratification. Everyone is entitled to their process but as we both seem to agree on is, not everyone is gonna be comfortable with or … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 04:23 PM |
| 1 | A relationship is not trading commitment for sexAs a guy, I've thought about the whole "I'll also say that all the guys here who insist that they should get "everything" the ex got can go fuck themselves." I'll be honest, to me it only applies to stuff that you positively and consensual went into but after the relationship, you don't want to explore that with me cause another guy before ruined it for you. I come into relationships trying to be a "clean slate" so that anything I want to do or not do is because I do/don't want to do it. Not bec… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 08:52 AM |
| 1 | Men should not be offended by not being "hookup material"Well...men can be lead on just like anybody else. People give empty promises or switch up on others all the time. Same way men can switch up or lead women on with how they show up in relationships, women can string men along they no they don't find physical attractive for reasons unbeknownst to us. Regardless, that's not what I'm talking about. This particular post isn't about any forcing anyone into being with them. Its about men putting value in being seen as hookup material. I just shared my … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 08:37 AM |
| 1 | Men should not be offended by not being "hookup material"The thing is, some women has ruined it for everybody in the sense that they have treated se very transactionally and im not talking only about money. A lot of men have the very valid belief that women can and do get into relationships with men they don't find attractive, they don't want very active sex life with them but are there for security. Financially, emotionally, etc. That's more being with someone for survival instead liking the whole package. Male equivalent to this is a man not being w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 01:10 AM |
| 1 | Every single man in the world will gladly "spoil” a woman - if she is "that girl" to himFrom my experience, the more i liked and felt safe with someone, the more i didn't mind spending on them as a way to show affection. With that being said, I've only ever done that after i felt that our relationship and how she treated me warranted that. Plenty of people want to be "the one" but a lot of people don't even try to be. Their are women who go straight to the spoiling and money thing, even though they have not shown up to the relationship in a way that makes gift giving and going all … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/26 08:20 AM |
| 3 | Men falsely claim that women lie about their preferences because they believe men are great.I can go on with modern examples of this if you feel that the ones I gave are too old to be legitimate. I just used them because any movement from the past until now have been watered down to mostly twitter memes and slogans online so I didn't think my point wouldnt land as well if started the mention the new stuff. Regardless, they follow the same pattern. For example, 4B movement is just liberal feminism in practice. The issue with seeing the more toxic elements of feminism is that the bad bei… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 02:54 PM |
| 2 | Men falsely claim that women lie about their preferences because they believe men are great.Thr Scum Manifesto written Valerie Solanas in 1967 Separatist feminism which occurred at the time of second wave feminism suggesting dismantling the oppressive patriarchy is not enough and that they can not coexist with men in society Political Lesbianism which is a movement to encourage women to reject heterosexuality and relationships with men in an the name of fighting the patriarchy. Very prominent feminists like Mary Daly and Sally Miller Gear hart all outwardly shared anti male beliefs | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 02:33 PM |
| 6 | Men falsely claim that women lie about their preferences because they believe men are great.No necessarily. Feminism within itself has different ideologies which are actually not even about equality for all. Especially in radical feminism. Just cause someone doesn't want to be associated with your regime doesn't mean they hate the people the regime is made for. t They just may not like some of takes you're making and the agendas you have. Plenty of women identify as anti femininism because facets of it are very militant and antisocial. By your logic, any woman who doesn't agree with al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 01:41 PM |
| 1 | Most Men Don't Have Preferences. They Have FearIf someone sees certain qualities in a person that may be counter productive to the kind of relationship they are aiming, it isn't irrational fear that they should get over. It's common sense. It makes sense to be hesitant and averse to people who's dating history shows signs of impulsive, selfishness, lack of commitment/contentmen, a pattern of frequently changing partners in a whim, etc. Sometimes, men and women don't necessarily know how to thoroughly think out what it is about someone that s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 10:50 AM |
| 2 | If men were to focus more on women's personalities and character than looks, women would have alot less options.Some women in the comments are quick to say that is a great thing cause men who aren't compatible with them will naturally filter themselves out for their dating pool but that's wishful thinking. The men you like and would otherwise be compatible with you will also filter themselves out more too. Not because you're not inherently their type but rather you didnt put your best foot forward. Some people have had relationship success only because their looks carried them. As such, their looks kept t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/26 09:11 PM |
| 2 | The hypocrisy in asking men to be confident.Women want to see the guys they like act confidently. Some may even be encouraging and inviting to these men by being showing interest in some way. However, if you're not her type, more often than not, you're confidence is not appreciated. I have the firm belief that they want you to telepathically know which category your are in and act accordingly | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/26 06:44 PM |
| 3 | On a date, men are just trying to not mess it up. But, women enjoy dates. What does that feel like?You were trying to not be annoying, right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/26 06:13 AM |
| 3 | If “she’s using me for my resources” was a real problem, then dont pay for women on the first few dates.That would be amazing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 08:09 PM |
| – | “Men will treat you as well or as poor as you let them” is a mindset that absolves men of accountability.You're right. Maybe when bad things happen, people address the perpetrator and the victim differently. Sometimes, It's not so much that men aren't being repremanded of their bad behaviour. It's just that it is sometimes pointless trying to get through to certain people. Even if they are held accountable, they don't care. They will continue to do what they do unless the ycare imprisoned for life for what they have done. The lack of remorse or change may seem like they are being obsolved but it's … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 07:40 PM |
| 2 | If “she’s using me for my resources” was a real problem, then dont pay for women on the first few dates.They act like thieves have standards. Like taking from the middle class is beneath them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 06:11 PM |
| 2 | If “she’s using me for my resources” was a real problem, then dont pay for women on the first few dates.Also people project their fears onto others if said fears revolve around normal things romantic partners do with each other. Sometimes men have an irrational fear of being used for their money or other things. As soon as a woman wants gift for a her birthday or something food once in a awhile, she's a gold digger in his eyes. In the same breath, some women have an irrational fear of being used for sex so much so that any implication of a guy wanting to engage is sex with them is automatically la… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 06:10 PM |
| 4 | If “she’s using me for my resources” was a real problem, then dont pay for women on the first few dates.If that is all you took from that paragraph, you've missed what I said. For example plenty of women emphasize the dates and gift giving of dates ad nauseam. It's equally a reasonable argument for men to think that princess treatment is the main goal for most of women and could argue that women don't like them yet like what they have to offer. Most people want wholistic relationships but will leave or be frustrated if one aspect of what they want is not present. For men, that is often physical in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 06:05 PM |
| 6 | If “she’s using me for my resources” was a real problem, then dont pay for women on the first few dates.Imo, it's about a lack of effort. Sex can make men feel like at least my effort in progressing this relationship has not been in vain as,at least, it's clear they are intimately involved now but most men will eventually have the same issue if the woman in question still doesn't contribute to dates or the general upkeep of the relationship.Sex just makes a lack of effort more tolerable. There are men who try to use money as a way to extort sex just like there are women who use sleeping with a man… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 05:08 PM |
| 1 | This "treat me like a human" thing that women repeat is something men could say too.I feel like it's empty response cause it doesn't really mean anything cause pursuing someone romantically, even if it is for a casual relationship, is a very human thing. It's very human for people to seek other people for certain relationships that are unique to their situation. In fact, it's very human to stop engaging with people if the relationship you sought to have with them is off the table and seek someone who is interested. You cant be friends/have serious relationships with everybody. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 04:33 PM |
| 1 | This "treat me like a human" thing that women repeat is something men could say too.How would anyone be formulaic? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 04:24 PM |
| 3 | This "treat me like a human" thing that women repeat is something men could say too.Lol. I was just thinking about this. What do they even mean by that. Just seems like a way to shut down any dialogue of what men want in relationships so they can push what they want onto you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 12:48 PM |
| 20 | Found this one after work.From a Machiavellian point of view, constantly saying stuff like this allows women to use safety as an excuse to be horrible to men. As they "had to do it, whatever it is, to walk on egg shells around the big bad men. This works especially when they try to provoke us. It's set the stage for men to lose and be seen as the problem no matter what cause it primes people to see us that way. | /r/EverydayMisandry | 19/02/26 05:57 PM |
| 8 | Why is "feeling like a dancing monkey" so triggering for you?If all men stopped, a lot of relationships wouldn't even happen cause for a lot of women, they wait for guys to make a relationship happen. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/26 03:28 AM |
| – | All the toxic women, Women Say Don’t Exist Are Absolutely FlourishingOne thing that allows women to get away with bad things is that they are incredible good at doing things covertly. To do things in such a way that calling them out is tough. That even noticing what is going on before it's too late is tough. Manipulation on 100 and the mental kung fu they do can leave lawyers and psychologists on edge. Long enough, they will get caught in their bs but in general, they do thrive. The worst ones aren't the ones who admit to being awful. It's the ones who fight to d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 06:51 PM |
| 1 | If it was about women being consistent with their sexual behavior, then it would make more sense for men to pursue women who makes everyone wait for sex.You have sex with people you early if you dont respect them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/26 03:20 PM |
| 2 | If it was about women being consistent with their sexual behavior, then it would make more sense for men to pursue women who makes everyone wait for sex.Lol. Im not gonna play Sherlock Holmes all the time to figure a woman out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/26 03:15 PM |
| 1 | If it was about women being consistent with their sexual behavior, then it would make more sense for men to pursue women who makes everyone wait for sex.Pursuing women who "make" me wait doesn't prove anything. It doesn't prove she is taking me more seriously or just as seriously as the other men she has been with nor does it mean she likes me more or as much as the men before. In general, even women who are seen to be prudes end up not being prudes with men they like enough. Also people lie. People make drastic changes in how they dress and live a lot and it rarely is a genuine change as it is performative. So dressing modesty isn't the greates… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/26 03:08 PM |
| 5 | Debunking "But men need sex more" argumentI think what you're saying is partly true. That there is a social element to this, however, I wouldn't say women complain about a lack of sex more or equal amounts than men do. There is a stigma to be a man without a woman.The way things are set up doesn make men look like they need sex more than women. Theres a lot that play into it like purity culture, sexism, fear, hate.... I will say that, from my own understanding, a lot of what makes dating work requires men to be on "standby". Men have to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/26 07:03 PM |
| 7 | Women should chase menLol, I don't think anyone should do anything except take ownership of their own love life instead of waiting for someone else to "make the move" or whatever. As much as I'd love for women to approach men (particularly me) more, I'd be overjoyed for women to just not make approaching them weird as hell. Not enough people want to own up just how unapproachable they make themselves be yet push the "men should approach" mantra. They don't even think how their behaviour could translate to how other c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 06:00 PM |
| 8 | Why some view husband material as a form of settlingI think because of a lot of content, posts, experiences... has made people feel that, at times, husband has become equivalent to a retirement plan (not in a good way). I often think of marriage as a relationship you give your best in everything you do with and for your partner. Where you treat them as "The One". As such, you share all of the good parts if you. Do all the things you did in other relationships and some more. However, a lot of people in marriage don't always seem to do that. Someti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 07:31 AM |
| 1 | The overwhelming majority of women don't initiate or make the first moves because they are cowards.I wish there becomes a point where both men and women take responsibility for getting into relationships instead of waiting for someone else to make it happen and all they have to do is just walk into it. Things would move along more smoothly where both parties pursue each other and don't debate about who should do what first. Cause if you really wanted someone compatible with you, you'd seek them out instead of eating for them to show up. Although I'm not opposed to shooting my shot; I've appro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 01:17 PM |
| 1 | Do women tend to force themselves into men's spaces?Yup. The entitlement to be a part of what what men are doing happens a lot. It's not just infiltration. It becomes a hostile take over. Women make men's only spaces their own even if, on paper, it's a mixed space. Men who are misandrist pick-mes support this whole heartedly cause they hate socializing with just men in the room so they need female attention/presence around and will through other men under the bus. Eventually, men lose their voice or authority, thus, having to move out and create … | /r/MensRights | 08/01/26 06:50 PM |
| 0 | To many women, male attention is low value.Get enough men to notice you, in accumulation, that attention can be valued. That's part of the reason why social media is big for women who are attention seeking and do so through sex appeal. They may ignore these men individually, but as a group, they appreciate the attention and without it, they would not feel great in it's absence. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 12:19 PM |
| 1 | Most dating advice to men is disingenuousThe things is, all advice without intimate knowledge of the person and any personal agendas from the person giving the advice giving the advice, will often lead people astray when not coupled with discernment. No matter what people tell you to do, you gotta develop the skill to take the good and ignore the bad. You have to be able to have clear idea of what does work in dating and in what circumstance. Some stuff is very cultural and if you blend into with your community, sometimes it creates a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/26 03:27 PM |
| 2 | Women Do Not See Men as Victims Especially When It Makes a Woman a PerpetratorTo be fair, a lot of men also do not see other men or even themselves as victims, especially when women have done wrong to them. Unfortunately, this is a biproduct of benevolent sexism where men are supposed to be so invulnerable and strong that women could never harm them while women are weak angels who couldn't hurt a fly even if they wanted to. I'm not gonna blame patriarchy cause it's more nuanced than that. However, the beliefs of women and men have contributed to the unnecessarily gendered… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/12/25 11:29 PM |
| 2 | As a man, giving women you're interested in your number instead of asking for theirs is much better.I respect this approach even though it yeilds a lot less positive results overall. It doesn't just weed out people who don't like you but it also weeds out people aren't serious about dating/see it through. It's expected (sometimes demanded) for men to make the moves even when it doesn't make sense to. Whether they like you or not, are serious or not, they want you to do the "dance" and cause they get a lot of attention, more often than not, putting the ball on their court is giving an opportuni… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/12/25 11:22 PM |
| 15 | The days of men cold approaching random women in streets, malls, and grocery stores left and right are long gone and will never come back.If this is a thing, I'm actually glad it's ending. I got over the "allure" of approaching random women in random places MAINLY because it's not fun. From my lives experience and observations from others, It's not an enjoyable activity. It rarely yields good results for most people anyway. I don't even think it's fear or anxiety which is making men not approach much in general. It's just lack of motivation. If you take away the young horny male hysteria, not much is inspiring. You don't really kn… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/25 09:28 AM |
| – | Rebranding sexual validation as "empowerment" reduces agency for both men and women.You're onto something | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/12/25 06:39 PM |
| 4 | Confidence is encouraged in men, until they actually show itYou cooking!! Confidence, in general, is given not self made. You can be hopeful, optimistic, resilient... That you can give to yourself but to be confident (no matter how you want to define it) requires an external source. Once you get the "thumbs up" from whereever you need to get it from, you now can move with more certainty. Confidence in what you do requires for that thing to go well to give you the feedback you're good at it. Confidence in socializing and relationships requires people to a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 01:29 PM |
| 1 | Confidence is encouraged in men, until they actually show itMost women (even men tbh) don't encourage confidence. They either demand it.That of either they use the word confidence as a reason as to why they like someone as opposed to saying the seemingly shallow part out loud. To encourage is to compliment, to be inviting, to be engaging... Sometimes I feel like confidence is mentioned in way to shut men down to be vulnerable or needy in someway. It's like "I'm glad he doesn't make some of his emotional needs my problem" which isn't inherently bad to wan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 01:25 PM |
| 1 | Terrified that my brother is getting redpilled. How do I stop it?I don't believe in these pilled communities being the most helpful for men's general mental health and how to conduct themselves through life but they do one good job that not many other places do. They validate these men's real experiences and feelings. They don't just tell them be more confidant and confidence is the cure for cancer or whatever. At some point is just sounds like another way of saying "man up". "Don't address how you really feel, feel how i want you to feel cause that makes me … | /r/ExRedPill | 15/12/25 10:21 PM |
| 1 | The number one problem with lonely guys is not cultivating a social life and social skillsThe social skills for friendship very different to the ones you need for dating. Men are typically expected to be more "skillful" while women aren't really penalized for being imperfect social by the opposite sex as much as men are. It's night and day. Even women can be mean to women who lack the perfect social skills (which is sometimes kissing the but of the most liked person there) Also, just cause you have a friends or you don't struggle socially doesn't mean you have better skills. You coul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 04:49 PM |
| – | Men should only bother dating women who would theoretically hookup with themI think one of my biggest issues with my experience with dating is that nothing is promised, however, i feel i should conduct myself a certain way. Personally, i only liking going dates with someone when i know they already like me and they sexually attracted to me. The best way to know that is if they do have sex with me relatively quickly. Most of my relationships started quickly regardless of how long they lasted. I don't expect it to happen the very minute we meet but if we take too long to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 02:02 PM |
| – | Men should only bother dating women who would theoretically hookup with themJust because you had sex early doesn't mean the relationship is primarily on sex. Going on a couple of dates doesn't define the relationship to be romantic either. It's too early for that. Personally, i believe in doing things which naturally come up. If you're both in the mood to have sex, then do so. Waiting doesn't ensure the relationship will be more serious. If you two are compatible for a relationship, when you start to have sex really doesn't matter. If you already comfortable having sex … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 01:20 PM |
| – | Our culture promotes consent and mindfulness more than ever in history, yet people fuck less than everI think it's the way we talk about sex and mindfulness which is the reason. In older generations, sex and being mindful had a different meaning. It meant being more social, to sexually explore more, to find the beauty and even the spirituality in sex. Now, consent often just emphasizes how to say no, to be bold with saying no and setting boundaries. It doesn't have the positive approach that older generations had when it came to the early and peak stages of sexual liberation. Mindfulness now is … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 05:49 PM |
| 2 | Women and pick and choose when the universal appropriate places are appropriate for men to approach them.I think men and women put too much stake on men approaching/initiating. The idea that men will approach is ultimately burdensome for men and makes some women lazy in their romantic/sexual lives. They expect people to come to them somehow & magically sweep them off their feet while the rest of us are frustrated by feeling that no one is going to make approaching easier, let alone making the first move themselves. There needs to be a better way for both parties to convey interest in a obvious but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 06:20 PM |
| – | Apparently even progressive women have a habit of demonizing sexuality of average dudesI've often find these kind of women will demonize any man who may be interested sex with them when THEY dont want to engage in sex. However, when THEY are in the mood, they may want the very man they demonized. All of sudden, those men are allowed to be sexual beings. I've seen a similar pattern in quite a few posts from r/DeadBedrooms. LL partner (usually female) can call their HL partner (usually male) any derogative name in the book and imply they are bad for wanting intimacy but when they wa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 01:20 PM |
| 2 | Claiming "Sex isn't the only thing men care about" only works when men show they have other priorities.I get what you're saying regarding this post. Some men do hyperfocus on sex and put it above everything else, obsessively. I'd like to share a perspective on how it can seem that way even when said man isn't necessarily focused on sex all the time. I've (M25) often felt like i should focus on sex as it was my job to. That if i didn't move the needle to establish a sexual relationship with woman, it wouldn't happen. This didn't always happen (Thank God).... but it did happen. Same way will talkin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/12/25 10:26 AM |
| 2 | Claiming "Sex isn't the only thing men care about" only works when men show they have other priorities.I agree that a sex isn't the only thing which makes a relationship more than a friendship but would either of you want to stay in a relationship without it? Would either of you stay if any form of physical intimacy outside of hugging were out of the picture? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/12/25 09:37 AM |
| 1 | Women's Dating Rules Are Impossible and often HypocriticalIf we’re going to talk about gender dynamics honestly, then let’s be honest: the rules aren’t rules—they’re vibes. Shifting, personal, unspoken, and unforgiving. This stood out to me the most and is probably why dating is very confusing and even dangerous. At some point, what is and isn't acceptable/criminal shouldn't be left to interpretation but understood as a rules of engagement. Same way we greetings and manners are often universally understood, we should have and acknowledge a way for men … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/11/25 08:31 PM |
| 1 | Women fail to understand the sheer scale of emotional labor men perform for women.Idk about the specifics of the post being completely reflecting of a lot of men's experience but i do think it can open up an honest conversation of what men feel is often effort that is overlooked and often abused in a relationship. One thing I've noticed is the amount of accommodating other men i know and i can be expected to do. How often we give up space so that the woman we are with has more room to air out their feelings, their concerns, their issues. It doesn't happen with every man, the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 12:33 PM |
| 1 | Women's Dating Rules Are Impossible and often HypocriticalIf we’re going to demand anything from men, let it at least be something possible. My chat is, men as a collective can't keep trying to meet the random demands of random women who just make their dating woes and desires seem like a public declaration for men to follow. We can't keep running around, racking our brains on what to say, when to say, how to say, what to do, when to do it, how to do it.... all the damn time. Ultimately it is beyond us. In any other context, you'd refuse to entertain a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/11/25 12:43 PM |
| 1 | Women Don't Actually Put More Effort Into Dating.To add to this, there is a particularly popular dating mantra/advice some women follow. To simply put it, it is to do nothing and by virtue make men do it (whatever it is) . Either by making him wait, only acting when men make the first move, only doing something when man does something first, framing her actions as merely a reaction to how he treats her, withdrawing or withholding affection, communication.... or merely threatening to do so; so that the man in question behaves a certain way. Ult… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 09:56 PM |
| 1 | Men are not approaching women as much anymore and that's a good thing.Oh yeah, that has happened to me as well. I've had people treat me a certain way which made me believe they were interested but once i entertained that, they switched up. I'm not suggesting waiting for a sign is gonna make everything perfect but possibly better. Idk, i just don't like the attitude that comes some of the dating norms. I don't want to be with someone who just expects me to chase after them while they do nothing. I get turned off with the entitlement. I just don't want that and oft… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 07:41 PM |
| 1 | Men are not approaching women as much anymore and that's a good thing.Oh. I think we are discussing the same thing but seeing it differently. To cold approach, as you say, is ultimately casting a large net and figuring out among people you randomly approach, who might like you. Which is not a bad strategy until you notice that the mere fact that you approached randomly and in an awkward situation, the circumstance effects whether or not someone gives you a chance. Not always the case the but the difference between a yes and a no can be very contextual. What I'm re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 07:26 PM |
| 1 | Men are not approaching women as much anymore and that's a good thing.can you help explain what you mean by it not helping. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 11:37 PM |
| 7 | Men are not approaching women as much anymore and that's a good thing.Noone should be guessing if someone is into them, especially men right now. If it is not clearly, I often don't take action as well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 02:52 PM |
| 16 | Nuances on spontaneous and responsive desireOne thing I've questioned about myself as a man is the frequency im am actually interested in sex and how attracted i am to women; and if it is linked to a kind of anxiety. Where i feel like have to be "ready" to engage if and when a woman i like suddenly decide to engage with me. As if im on standby, constantly in the mood cause if im not, i might miss out on a relationship i would've otherwise wanted but just really care pursue in that given moment if it wasn't on my mind in some way. Is it sp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 02:00 PM |
| 0 | Nuances on spontaneous and responsive desireTell the people in the back | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 01:50 PM |
| 1 | Men are not approaching women as much anymore and that's a good thing.I'd like that to be the case as well. I really would | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 01:44 PM |
| 8 | Men are not approaching women as much anymore and that's a good thing.That's not completely true. I've met very passive women or women who weren't direct where i just took a leap of faith with and they turned out to like me. There were times where i'd find someone had crush on me only after the fact. A lot of women don't make it very clear they want you to shoot a shot, let alone show they are interested themselves. That has to do more with their personality and confidence rather than them being attracted to you or not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 01:42 PM |
| 12 | Men are not approaching women as much anymore and that's a good thing.Damn, Im waiting too | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 10:44 AM |
| 2 | Men are not approaching women as much anymore and that's a good thing.I hear you | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 10:28 AM |
| 1 | Men are not approaching women as much anymore and that's a good thing.I'm not suggesting not talking to women or not pursuing women altogether. I'm saying among the women you like, it's better to pursue relationships with the ones that like you back. The only way to know that is if they show it. I've had experiences with women and what most of it has taught me is that I'd rather approach and spend my time with women who show very clearly that they want me to to do so. That actually want to know me and my feelings for them are reciprocated | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 09:36 AM |
| 0 | Men are not approaching women as much anymore and that's a good thing.What do you mean by that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 09:23 AM |
| 36 | Men are not approaching women as much anymore and that's a good thing.I find It's only a good thing if the men in question raise their standards to what would make them approach a woman. Often men just shoot their shot when women give them nothing to work with. This is true for women who are and are not interested imo cause I've matched with women and have spoken to women irl who do nothing if not next to nothing to make it known they are interested and want to see how things go. The bar is so low that men get excited when women just stare at them. Not a say hello… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 09:10 AM |
| 11 | What's the reason behind this wave of extreme hatred against men on social media by feminists and women in general?From my opinion, women publicly say this kinda stuff to get validation from the girlies and momentarily participate in vapid female comradery, unresolved issues or to somehow nag and neg all men into behaving. Women are statistically on average far better than men with regards to relational aggression than men are. They are good at making others turn against you and to work as a collective to make your life worse. Even if it is as flippant and petty as social media posts. Keep complaining and sa… | /r/MensRights | 08/11/25 06:24 PM |
| 0 | Manners and boundaries are often one of the biggest faults of men when pursuing womenIt's not that simple. You'd be surprised how tight the rope is to be polite but be assertive with what you want. To be respectful but still form a connection beyond a friendship. A lot of men have been polite. Are still polite but that was considered boring. Being nice isn't enough, right. I'm not condoning men being outright explicitly sexual the very moment they see you but a lot of men's issue isn't that. A lot of guys have experienced on being objectively crass and straightforward. The only … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 06:01 PM |
| 5 | Why do men date if they are still subscribing to TRP content ? My bf does and it makes me feel like nothing i can ever do will change his deeply jaded view on women and love.Sometimes the coping mechanisms we use to handle past hurt and prevent future pain ruin good things. Right now, this fearful mentality is in the way and it's hard to get rid of it if, in his mind, it has kept him safe all this time. It takes strength to work through that kinda baggage. Sorry you're experiencing it. | /r/ExRedPill | 08/11/25 10:34 AM |
| 3 | Women get rejected just as often as men, it just happens after the sex.Men are also after relationships. We just come into situations with low expectations and appreciate sex even if nothing else comes from it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/11/25 11:04 PM |
| 1 | "Women make it obvious if they're into you" they don't lolClock it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/10/25 06:05 PM |
| 1 | "Women make it obvious if they're into you" they don't lolI truly hate nonchalant, low effort, iffy women. They make being liked the worst ever cause now you're confused and you're left to doubt yourself. I've dated quite a bit but only handful of women actually made me feel secure and wanted. From start to finish. They actually made getting to know them and initiating the relationship fun. The rarely hot and mostly cold dynamic i've dealt with is why i stopped pursuing a new relationship. It just sucks. A lot of them complain about men being on the fe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/10/25 06:01 PM |
| 1 | Dating a much younger woman and going out in public, we get a ton of "opinions" from older womenThe social stigma is brutal but also very hypocritical. What's acceptable or not just feels like whatever women at large think is acceptable. I'm in my mid 20s so i don't deal with this but i only imagine how things are gonna be in dating in my 30s/40s | /r/MensRights | 11/10/25 07:12 PM |
| 1 | Telling men to have more friendships with woman is misleading because women treat friendships and dating the sameI don't think this is the case entirely. I do think you should be wary of the kind of friendships you form though, regardless of gender. For me, i can count one hand, how many real friendships i have had with women. I'm saying this to say that a lot of times, the perceived friendship i thought i had with them was mostly inauthentic. They didn't like me as much as they pretended to cause when it was time for them to be a friend to me (like saying happy birthday on my birthday or making plans to s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/09/25 06:14 AM |
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