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FulcrumShift Archive

View 1 post and 17 comments by FulcrumShift on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
60

FulcrumShift/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 11:31 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

Honestly dude, I don’t know your details, but the little bit of dating I’ve done during this time has shown me that being single at 35 and having your shit together, being in shape, moderately attractive, etc., is a god damn super power (at least where I am in the south). I’ve lost weight and upgraded my fashion style and I feel like 1%er lmao. And if it is a problem for them? Drop em like a bad habit. Establish your boundaries and enforce them ruthlessly. Open yourself up to an abundance mindse…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 05:11 PM
10

The old you is gone. This is not a bad thing. “Man cannot remake himself without suffering for he is both the marble and the sculptor.” Now is the time to consider the parts of the old you that you wish to keep and also the parts you wish to discard. Become the person you’ve always wanted to because there is no better time than now. Make time and space to feel and grieve. Don’t hold it in because that will only make it worse. A couple months after my situation started, I was in Buffalo Wild Wing…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 04:12 AM
1

My ring was $30 tungsten from Walmart so I just threw it away.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 03:18 PM
1

I wanted to comment and thank you for this reply (and some other similar comments I’ve read in this thread). A month before I found out about my ex wife’s affair, she lied and manipulated me into me believing I was this awful husband that did nothing to contribute to our household and that was why we had to divorce (at the same time she cancelled our move we were planning and then left the country to visit her aging family in Europe for 3 weeks). I have really struggled with my response because …
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 05:11 PM
1

I didn’t mean the affair was unique but rather me essentially only taking a small hit to my overall finances that really won’t take long to recoup. I read this sub everyday and there are so many stories of men whose situations are 10x, 100x, and 1000x worse than mine.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 07:24 PM
5

My experience was unlike that of most of the threads I read here. My ex wife had an affair, I filed first, she was pro se, I “won” my divorce, she ended up with some furniture and cash from when I bought out her equity in the house. She didn’t fight for any of my retirement or savings; she just wanted out ASAP to pursue her new guy. She’s working 2 jobs to support herself now while I’m starting to thrive professionally and socially. I am grateful we didn’t have kids together because the thought …
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 04:16 PM
2

I am not who you responded to (so also don’t have their context) but wanted you to have the answers to your questions. These are going to be simple definitions but the pick me dance is trying harder or doing extra to try and win the cheater back. Soothing your emotions is a positive experience to counter a negative experience, e.g. shit day at work? Then have your favorite meal, drink, video games, etc. I wish you all the best.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 12:19 AM
33

I can offer my POV which is the other side but it’s not really what you asked. I was sent a text at work that read, “Hi. Is this FulcrumShift?” I responded it was and asked who they were. She responded with an introduction and how my STBXW and her husband had been having an affair and she had found out 5 days prior. I asked to speak to her on the phone, she agreed, so I called and she answered all of my questions to the best of her ability and then sent me the proof she had. I will never be able…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 06:38 PM
3

This most likely will depend on where you are in the process. I think some people rip the band-aid off and delete immediately and others need time to process and recover before deleting. In my case, I need time. I’ve offloaded from my phone and laptop and put “our media” on a drive that I don’t have access to. I will decide down the road if I want to destroy it myself or just ask the trusted individual I gave it to to destroy it. I have my hands full with the actual divorce and don’t need distra…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 09:06 PM
3

Thank you for your very kind words.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 08:51 PM
4

His wife was the one who let me know. I do want to be friendly to her, she did an amazing and brave thing. I have been wanting to let her know that based off conversations with my STBX before cutting off contact, they intend to continue the affair into a relationship but after speaking with my lawyer, I am waiting to do anything. I have to protect myself right now. I don’t trust anyone else involved in this except myself. I don’t want to get in a situation where she fires up her husband to cut o…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 06:28 PM
3

I do not think she feels any amount of guilt for what she has done. Before I cut off contact with her yesterday, I messaged her one last time letting her know it was really fucked up what she did. I asked her if she even cared about what she was doing to those poor 2 little girls. She responded by saying, “of course it bothers me there are kids involved. But it is his responsibility to handle that.” His being the guy in the other relationship that’s cheating on his wife. Unreal. She is either co…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 09:37 AM
4

How to move forward letting everyone know, as some comments suggest? I have told my friends and family and they are all equally as shocked at what she has done. My STBX does riding lessons part time and this guy she is having the affair with is a farrier at the same barn. I want to call the barn owner and tell him. It is a family friendly operation, run by a man that is very much about family. I know her lessons schedule and would like to serve her papers at the barn. I also want to put them on …
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 09:24 AM
11

I wish I would have been more devious, I think. As soon as I was told about the affair and given the proof, I immediately called my wife and confronted her. She admitted it and said she was done with our relationship and just “so tired of it all.” But I honestly crumpled after the admission. I had to leave work and wasn’t able to eat and barely got sleep. After reaching out for support, today was the day I realized that I wasn’t going to pour any more energy into her. The woman I married is dead…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 03:28 AM
6

Marriage was something we both mutually agreed on after college. We met 2013, engaged 2016, married 2018. I never thought she was capable of something like this. We have always talked about how awful cheaters are. Looking back with total honesty, I am aware of my failures, but I also see the signs of narcissism in her and she has always had the ability to cut me down so fast and so brutally in disagreements. But I am extremely warm, kind, and open. It’s just my nature. I loved her dearly and was…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 03:05 AM
6

The other wife was the one who told me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 02:47 AM
45

She was the one who told me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 11:50 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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