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FunkyTownMascot Archive

View 0 posts and 832 comments by FunkyTownMascot on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

If you don't need them they just sit on the retainer. No money spent. I've been through a 10 yr disaster of divorce. I filed a ton of legal paperwork myself. I boned up on the local RCP. Keep an attorney between you and an angry ex. I should have learned that sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 06:01 AM
1

She played you. My ex played me. Guess what? My sons are smart MFs now and won't get played like we did. They saw this whole BS. So, their mom sacrificed herself, and the next 20 chicks, all so she could get money from me. She regrets it now. Trust me. Bad choice she made.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 07:09 AM
1

Because the attorney is an immediate move to put her on notice. She will act crazy and maybe throw him in jail. I would lawyer up and STFU. But, I've been through this ride and he hasn't yet.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 07:02 AM
2

You need an attorney and just stop talking to her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 01:28 PM
1

Hooking up is fine if you know the divorce is irreversible. She's probably doing it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 04:45 AM
1

Ha!
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 12:01 PM
1

Hit the gym and clean up your diet then if your weight is limiting your life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 11:42 AM
1

Thailand
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 03:49 AM
16

After having been through a majorly rough divorce I'll say the period post-divorce is the lonely part. While you're fighting in court you have purpose still. This can last from 1-10 years+. But, it keeps you going with purpose and a goal. You are still "in the fight" for your kids. Once it's all over then you don't have anything to fight for anymore. So, unless you really identify something worth doing post divorce, and especially once your kids leave the house at 18-20 (if you raised them well)…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 10:54 PM
2

As a man you need to be the parent while she spins out of control. My ex disappeared and rode the CC for 2 years after marriage. I have 3 kinds and they were all <8? Someone had to step up and care for these children. But, be forewarned, even if you are the hero early on you'll still be the bad guy later on. No good deed goes unpunished.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 12:40 AM
2

Don't give in. That's what she wants. Sounds like this will be an expensive divorce and the attorneys will make out like bandits.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 12:37 AM
1

Buy a bodycam on Amazon and use it every time you interact with her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 12:36 AM
1

All I did was get in an argument, that she had preplanned, so that she could call the cops. She started the argument and it wasn't *even physical. Edited: Wasn't even physical
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 07:25 PM
8

My x busted something on me and cut me in 4-5 places. Blood was all over the house. I called 911, the police came, and they did not arrest her. 2 weeks later she got her revenge. She called 911, made up some nonsense that didn't happen, she had no marks or anything, and they arrested me and hauled me off to jail. I have to explain this situation to everyone I meet to this day in a business or romantic setting, 14 years later, and I just had to explain it to someone again,YESTERDAY, for a securit…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 11:25 AM
6

I went through 2 years of "DV counseling" over false allegations and they used "The Duluth Model." I was not buying it and the guy wanted to kick me out several times which would've been a probation violation. What kept him from kicking me out is all of the other men in the class liked that I was standing up to their attempt to indoctrinate me in that bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 11:22 AM
1

Well, think carefully. I could easily still do things under the radar.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 05:01 PM
1

I know this is evil advice. But, divorce is evil. You should've planned ahead and moved shit around first. But, seeing as where you are unless there's a restraining order on accounts you can do what you want.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 04:01 PM
2

Do not agree to any concessions, AT ALL, with her since you're setting a precedent of not exercising the time the court has already ordered for you. Your ex is directly pitting you against your daughter by getting her excited for events with her on your time. You have limited time as it is. They are only young once. Do not lose, or forfeit, that time. And, when you have your daughter make it special. Stay off your phone, laptop, etc, as much as possible. If it's not for work then spend that summ…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 06:58 AM
1

Good. You'll be better off.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 02:27 AM
1

She's going to slander you to everyone for victim points and sympathy. Find a whole new life and social circle.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 10:15 PM
19

Then she's already over it and doesn't care for him to try and bend over backwards for her,she's already checked out. Men can be steered back into a failing marriage. But, once women make up their mind it's already done.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 09:02 AM
34

Marriage counseling is a process where the wife and counselor team up on the husband to tell him what he needs to do to please the wife. That's why wives ask for counseling and husband's don't.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 07:59 AM
9

Sorry t9 hear you're going through this, brother. The same thing happened to me over a decade ago. All I can say, with hindsight, is to be the best dad you can be while you're with them. Call during the weeks you don't see them to check up on them, talk about their day at school, wish them good night, etc. Make sure to have a sit down with them on your weekend and explain t9 them that you didn't do anything wrong and you're just being painted as the bad guy so mom can justify her actions. Some w…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 07:34 AM
1

If you don't know how to write contracts then that's when you pay someone to write them. Definitely should've had a lawyer do this. If your ex is halfway-intelligent she'll get out of this.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 07:57 PM
11

Very normal. If you have a dog and smack it in the head every day it won't trust you either. That's what your wife did to you. It'll take you having a good woman who consistently treats you well to undo that damage. But, don't count on it. They aren't that patient. I picked up my dog from the shelter with the same hesitant skittishness. It took me months of constant love to gain his trust. But, don't expect a woman to be understanding and loving like that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 08:31 AM
10

Not even close. I've been single for a few years now. I've been in relationships most of my life whether it be girlfriends or a long marriage. The past few years I've stayed out of the mess and I have unlimited freedom. You're worrying about society that is fixated on coupledom. Look outside of that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 08:27 AM
1

That was my life. I didn't get there 60 seconds after. It took me about 3-4 weeks of gameplay for me to get there.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 05:15 AM
1

Not very fun.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 03:25 AM
1

100% what you said. You could've added that women can be abusive (I know it from experience), savage (I know it from experience) shallow (I know it from experience), and plain cringe is subjective. I dint like the word cringe although I'm sure many people in my position would consider it that way. They're usually fussy, temperamental, argumentative, sometimes vicious, and often cruel. I like my adjectives better than "cringe" as they're more descriptive and explanatory in the specific circumstan…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 05:14 PM
2

Just throw out the vibe. Tell her you're passing through and would "love a guide for the night." It works 100% of the time 60% of the time. Odds are in your favor if you have the right delivery. Dress a bit better than the restaurant calls for. Simple way is to go to a diner and wear basic business casual.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 04:58 PM
3

Can confirm he's ^ not a nice guy.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 04:54 PM
1

CR, that was a kind way of rephrasing, "no matter how hot a woman is there is someone, somewhere, who is sick of her shit."
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 01:22 PM
4

Because he needs a support system and most guys don't have 5 friends to run to and sob about their problems like women do. His STBXW has already done that, has been supported by them, and now is already out dating. Meanwhile, her still-current husband is just now beginning to deal with, and understand, the pain of divorce. He's behind the 8-ball and we're doing what men do. We help each other level up. Iron sharpens iron.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 01:20 PM
3

Try to hook up with a waitress at some diner on the road trip.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 01:15 PM
1

Just document it. Get it all in order. Give it to your attorney. Make sure you have a good attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 12:06 PM
23

She's not yours. It was just your turn. Soon she'll be someone else's turn/problem. Trust me, once you get out of the fog you'll look back and barely recognize her. I can't stand the sight of my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 06:55 AM
4

Your STBXW would either need to give it up voluntarily, move away to the point where she logistically cannot manage custody, or have some type of serious character flaw (drug/alcohol addiction, etc) that would deem her unfit for the kids. Is there a reason you want more them 50/50 besides the obvious reason we all would? Such as, "I love my kids and don't want to be away from them?" I ended up with full custody for a few years. But, I did it by playing dirty because she started the divorce by pl…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 02:28 AM
5

Just sit back and watch the roller coaster. I tried the blended family "Brady Bunch" and that is a huge factor for 2nd divorces or, if they're not married, breaking up. It's what caused my last breakup. She was the perfect woman for me. But, the kid-mixing is what did it in. Your kids not being happy with it already is just the tip of the iceberg. Just wait. Shit's about to get real over there.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 10:23 PM
1

It's a no-fault community property state.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 05:11 AM
3

I paid almost $100k, and 10 years in and out of family court, just to keep 50/50 and stay in their lives. And, a ton of work I did was on my own (Pro Se). OP has what I had the first few years after separation. My ex didn't want to be a mother and wanted to party. So, I had full custody for years and those were the best years of my life even though they were stressful and difficult. But, she came back for custody because she was broke and needed the child support. Keep in mind I never collected …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 02:20 AM
11

You would be a fool to give her another shot. And, unfortunately, us guys are fools for love. Women aren't. They're cunning. She'll smooth talk you and then spring the trap. She'll end up in the house, with the kids,and you on the outside looking in seeing everything that you gave up. Dude, she is already talking to another guy!
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 06:35 PM
3

Once you've traded DVs and gone that route then, IMO, the trust is irrevocably broken. She very well could say yes to improve her position and then be also plotting a better attack for the future. I made this mistake. My ex committed felony DV on me and I had pity on her and refused to cooperate with the police.well, 2:weeks later she set me up for a false DV and threw me in jail and tried to take everything. I ended up coming out okay. But, it was mind-boggling how much she tried to ruin me. So…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 06:30 PM
1

I put 37 because my last ex was around that age when we were together (met her at 34) was a lot of fun. She was petite, hot, fit, and still loved to go out and have a great time. Great sex, too. She wasn't jaded at all. I know that she was a diamond in the rough. But,they're out there.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 06:20 PM
8

I'd probably set mine for 25-37. Below 25 and they're can be immature and petty with things like jealousy. Plus, you don't want a girl so young that she's making TikToks of her dancing all the time. That's just be annoying. I agree with u/314FinitePie that over 40 they usually are damaged and see "red flags" in completely innocent things. They've been burned and broken so now they're overly-cautious, wary, and scrutinize everything about you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 04:28 AM
5

Sounds like if she wants to be financially sound then she needs a job. Photography contracts are come and go. They aren't reliable even if they pay well when she gets one. The general rule of thumb is the sooner you divorce the cheaper it'll be. You are liable for that credit card debt. But, if you're separated, and she maxed them out by herself after separation, then you might get lucky and the judge will assign the dents to her. BUT, IF YOU CONSOLIDATE THOSE DEBTS NOW ON A CARD YOU OPEN THEN Y…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 01:24 AM
2

This is funny because it's true. That's how most comedy is. If there wasn't any truth to it nobody would laugh. If you want some good laughs, and eye-opening stories, come see us at r/AgainstMatrimony where we post stories and videos of first-hand lessons, direct from the parties themselves, on why marriage for men is a bad idea in this day and age.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 05:05 AM
14

You never know how the relationship is behind closed doors. I know guys who would share their relationship issues with me. And, had they not done that I'd think they were just the perfect couple. Trust me, most couples have a lot of problems that you just don't see. Social media is not a true representation of people. It's a fabricated image they curate for public consumption.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 06:45 AM
5

Marriage is today's ultimate scam women play on men. This isn't 1850 when you could actually rely on your wife to not be fucking the postman and then have the court's backing and muscle to drain you dry. Marriage today is the dumbest financial move a man can make.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 06:21 AM
1

The problem is that biblical marriage was created in a time when people strive to be virtuous. Unfortunately, secular marriage is nothing more than a business contract that can be broken at any time. And, usually the one who breaks it gets rewarded for doing so. It's the only civil contract that rewards the one who violates the terms of the contract. And, don't kid yourself if it isn't about money for women either. They just cal it "security." Money is 100% about money to everyone involved - inc…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 06:08 AM
2

Exactly. My ex lobbed false allegations that I proved were wrong. They were dismissed. She got in no trouble at all for doing so and I was always still the guy who was simply accused of being abusive. If you're a man that's all you need - the air of guilt even if it was found untrue.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 05:52 AM
4

Not alimony. That ended after a couple of years. Child support continues and is not based upon the child's needs. Rather, it's based on how much you earn. And, the court system gets federal kickback money for all child support dollars they collect and it directly supports judge's pensions.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 05:43 AM
3

r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 11:39 PM
3

Don't have kids in NY is the message they're trying to tell men.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 10:54 PM
13

Yep. And she'll still call you a deadbeat dad. Wait till she remarries. Then she'll have her new husband's income, too. My ex is living high on the hog solely because she birthed my children.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 10:53 PM
2

Decide if you want to get out of one spider web and immediately fly into another first.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 06:36 AM
2

Try to buy her out and get her out of your life. No way can she buy you out. All she can do is weaponize the court for child support and alimony to make you her slave and make you a forever enemy. Any kids involved?
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 06:34 AM
15

Call the police immediately - NOW.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 04:58 AM
1

You can monitor for a filing daily on the county court website.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 04:03 AM
2

My ex was willfully underemployed and just rode out the child support gravy train for years. The only way you can combat this is to move for full custody since she is in imminent danger of taking your kids out of state. You need a temporary restraining order re: children put into place to keep her from moving the kids. The kids are the key to everything here. If you didn't have kids together she'd have no power to fuck you over and would just go her separate way.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 04:02 AM
4

Oh, and she will. It's her nature.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 03:34 AM
6

Women are like elephants. They never forget and that means, at any time, you're have shit thrown in your face from years ago after it was long since resolved. I swear, they just love to complain and let you know about all the ways you aren't making her happy.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 02:38 AM
5

Hard lessons you'll learn here from men who have done it. I did it for over 10 years and, what I learned, is she will slyly take advantage of you in slow ways all the time. Then she will move into big ways. If you want a rock solid expectation relationship then don't budge at all. Get her at the scheduled time. If you think you can get some reciprocation for the good of the kids then work with her a bit. Post back here often with new situations. We've seen it all. It's free and lawyers won't tel…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 04:46 AM
5

Up to you. It depends on the relationship you have. If you don't have a bitter relationship and have nothing planned that the extension would interfere with then you can give her the extension. Make her do the drop off though instead of you going to pick up. If she tries to get you in trouble for nonsense stuff, was unnecessarily contentious in court, etc, then pick up when the paperwork says to pick up and tell her to be happy you dropped her off at all and stick to the written paperwork.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 02:04 AM
4

Funny how when you remove the triggers from your life you no longer need coping mechanisms.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 11:29 PM
1

Buying you out means one of you are off everything and all ties to that property.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 06:59 PM
2

When money and children are involved all of their earlier promises of fairness go right out the window. You never truly know your wife until you see her in divorce court.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 06:30 PM
6

Women always want what they don't have. The grass is always greener elsewhere. They thrive on attention so once you pulled that back she has to make up for it by trying to drum it up.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 06:28 PM
1

Your settlement value wasn't an appraisal. You should've gotten a professional appraisal in order to determine your settlement amount and you would've paid her less to buy her out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 12:46 AM
3

Start eating healthy and working out. Get lots of sleep and drink plenty of water. As you get fit your confidence will soar.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 05:46 AM
3

Even if you violated the order it's a civil issue and she would have to file contempt in court. My ex used to threaten to call the police ALL THE TIME. She did a few times. But, they don't like getting in the middle of these things for obvious reasons. And, the reasons he won't give you 50/50 is so she can get mom support, aka "child support," from you. Why don't you start building your case for a custody modification for 50/50?
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 05:45 AM
1

Women feel that the children belong to them because they came out of their body. Seriously. You are just the provider in their minds.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 02:08 AM
2

It will help him stop wondering at the very least. Also, we don't know the laws of his state. Either way, he indicated that he doesn't want to change his relationship with the girl so he's volunteering to pay for his wife's AP's child.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 06:26 PM
7

Well, in order to find out where to start you have to decide which path do you want to go down. Getting a DNA test, for me, would be obligatory regardless of whether I still wanted to be the girl's father or not. You at least need to know. And, at some point she'll probably want to know as well as she grows up. You already are heading for divorce. So,do you want to continue to father this girl, deal with custody with your ex about it, and pay child support? If so, then when you file for divorce …
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 05:26 AM
4

Either, tell me about it. Mine took 2 years and then I was in and out of family court for the next 9 on custody changes and all kinds of shit. Trust me. You want to avoid that at all costs except the cost of losing your kids. It really should be pretty simple if women thought and acted like men when it came to this stuff. 50/50:custody, split all debts and assets from the marriage 50/50, and don't use the kids as pawns or leverage. Get along and move on. It's best for the whole family. The only …
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 04:14 AM
1

I meant "eight hours" above. So, just tell her the judge already signaled that they wouldn't approve anything less than overnights.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 01:48 AM
1

I've been there, man. Sorry. It's going to be a long road so do everything you can to make it as amicable and cordial as possible. She'll be in your life forever because of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 01:42 AM
1

8 hours is a pretty short ROFR criteria. It's usually 24+ hours. Mine was 48 hours. Eight* hours is just asking for ongoing frequent bickering and I don't think a judge would go with it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 01:02 AM
5

This might be illegal in your state. But, I'd install spyware on the laptop. Hate me all you want. If she's making major decisions that are going to negatively affect me, in a big way, for the rest of my life, then I have no problem protecting myself with some foreknowledge. https://download.cnet.com/eBlaster/3000-2356_4-23342.html
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 01:00 AM
1

A wave runner would be a second toy.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 12:55 AM
7

The best thing you can do is grey rock her.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 12:50 AM
2

That's why they immediately ask "so,what do you DO?" It's a euphemism for "how much do you MAKE." Then, after you tell them what you do they go home and start searching on Glass Door. I've heard women straight up say it in other subs. It's part of their "vetting process." Vetting for what? Vetting to see if you'll improve their financial situation. I don't think states can give out tax info. It has your SSN and all sorts of info that would be ripe for an identity thief.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 12:09 AM
43

You're not getting back together. "Find myself" is code for "fuck other people." She wasn't yours. It was just your turn. Don't even consider, for a minute, getting back with this woman.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 11:59 PM
3

The home value thing is a dead giveaway.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 09:58 PM
3

I agree with what you said. But, in court you have to consider what the judge will think. They have a lot of power over the situation and their discretion can be used to help, or harm, your case. Family court gives way too much leeway to judges. Plus, with the child being 2 years old if something were to happen and you needed to rush to the ER then you can't drive if you're stoned.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 09:41 PM
3

Funny thing. My ex was, and is, a vindictive witch. Ironically, one of her close friends and I became friends. Any time we see each other we still hang out and talk a bit. She knows the truth. Last time I was at one of my kid's school performances she came and sat next to me for a solid hour. I used to even watch her daughter when she'd be with my daughter. So, some people will see through it and others won't even try.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 09:27 PM
1

I do still love my ex and always will. She's the one woman I know for sure is sane enough for me to be with if I ever chose to date again. But, starting over fresh by dating new women just does not sound appealing to me at all. My ex and air still are in light communication so we'll see. I'd have to seriously contemplate whether or not I want to allow her, or any woman, back into my life that way. I'm pretty content being single. I'm older, too, so the need to screw someone every day isn't there…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:34 PM
5

The only way to win the game is to not play it. That's the world we live in today.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:29 PM
2

You need to file a Motion to Seal. It's rarely granted. It becomes a scarlet letter you have to live with. And, you wonder why guys go apeshit and do heinous things to ex-wives. I wouldn't do anything like that but I sure understand how some people do.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:27 PM
1

Same here. False DV allegations and arrested. Later dismissed by the court. But, the mere charges and arrest look bad. It can also fuck you up when you're looking for a new job.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:26 PM
7

That's insane. Let them grow up with cats and boxed wine. I'll keep living my life. Maybe I'll get a dirt bike, too.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:24 PM
4

That's a good story. Hope it works out. I only have one of those women in my past and she's my most recent ex. Though, I'm not sure if I'd get back together with her again. I've been dating and having sex for over 30 years and have had 2 lifetimes worth of fun. At this point I'm prepared to close the book on it. Women today are just so unrealistic. It's really hard to find a sensible woman who is down-to-Earth and not some nut job who gets their advice from TikTok. At this point a woman needs to…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:22 PM
5

I hope it works out. Nothing haunts you like a vindictive ex-wife especially if you have children.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:16 PM
5

Yep. A vindictive ex will trash your reputation in a second. If you seriously find dating that important then move to a new city.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:14 PM
2

Yep. Double standard all the way. Women are crazy today and that's why I'm just not fen bothering with them anymore. Why should I have to prove myself to a woman and her not do the same? I'm way past the point of even caring. Let the thirsty guys have them. I don't gaf.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:13 PM
2

Every date you avoid is $100+ in your pocket.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 05:54 AM
5

I had a significant change and judge wouldn't lower it. I could've appealed the decision. But, appeals are very expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 05:53 AM
11

So, in your Answer to her Petition you state that the car, and all responsibilities for it, were assigned to her in the divorce. Attach your Decree of Divorce as an Exhibit.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 05:31 AM
16

I'm assuming that she's suing you in small claims court, right? If so they are different jurisdictions. If she's suing you in family court that issued the divorce decree then she has nothing to stand on. If she's suing in any other court then present the divorce decree as part of your defense. If it's in the same family court as your divorce I would file a Motion to Dismiss with Prejudice and cite the section of the Decree that relinquished your obligations on the car.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 05:23 AM
4

Judges don't like contempt hearings especially if kids are involved because it creates a contentious relationship going forward. You should've followed the court orders though.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 05:21 AM
8

If you're a man then good luck getting your support lowered. It can happen. But, it's not nearly as automatic as it is for mothers.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 03:29 AM
4

If a man financially benefits a woman that means the woman financially costs the man. Just keep it in perspective. Yes, women are ahead of men because they want more than love and companionship. They want "security" and that's a euphemism for "money." Men don't care about money so much. The truth is that the more money a man has the more careful and selective he needs to be in dating. Don't date broke chicks or single moms unless you're a single dad of minor children. Make them pay half of every…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 03:27 AM
11

Women and simps have invaded the sub.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 03:23 AM
2

She can go to the courthouse and read all filings. It's public record. And, a stalker chick like this would probably do that. Cut bait and run.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 03:21 AM
50

I would ditch a woman like that and not look back. Also, the relationship subs are full of women so of course they are going to take her side almost no matter what. The home value thing screams "GOLD DIGGER!" Don't be a sucker. I know you want some new tail now that you're divorced. But, it sounds like you're leaving one leach for another.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 03:17 AM
3

In a relationship women want, first and foremost, someone who is going to support them. They also need to be decently attractive and compatible. In a FWB or ONS it mainly revolves around sex so your looks are more important seeing as your bank account can't compensate as it's not part of the factor.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 10:23 PM
2

Yes, the hotel bar by any airport is usually a good place for a ONS. They already have a room, too.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 09:54 PM
1

Plenty of ONS and FWB in 40s. But, looks are still a major factor especially since it's just sex and not trying to lock a guy down for financial provision. Your math is backwards.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 09:53 PM
5

No. You tell your family that it's all BS and she's playing them for fools. And, if they choose to not believe you then you're going to cut contact because you're dealing with enough BS already with your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 02:11 PM
2

Let them go.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 11:11 AM
3

I already had an established career and job so nothing changed there. I did get in the best shape of my life and ended up with full custody so I didn't date for about 3 years. Once I was able to date again I realized that there was an endless line of women ready to have fun and they are older now and like to fuck. Just don't get married again because it most likely will end at some point and the easier the breakup is the better.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 07:57 AM
4

Good call. Or, hide it after you get drunk. You'll never find it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 06:44 AM
3

It's Friday night. Call an Uber, go to the bar and get drunk, then Uber home.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 02:59 AM
3

You don't have kids so closing the chapter on a mistake is an easy thing to do. If she comes back the problems will just start again because they haven't been resolved. And,neither way, I guarantee you that she will bring up it up again and again even if you do "resolved it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 02:52 AM
12

Mediate, agree on nothing less than 50/50 custody, and get your wife to work. Alimony will be limited due to her education and the short duration of the marriage. Be prepared for her to want everything in the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 02:41 AM
2

My ex was a stoner. But,she was a good mom and never drove stoned. She wasn't stoned 24/7 though. Usually just in the evenings after dinner.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 05:58 PM
1

Well, if the kids are young then if something happens she's not legally allowed to drive stoned to take them to the hospital. Some states will frown on it more than others. But, it's definitely something that will help you regardless of where you are. It certainly won't hurt. The question is do you want her to not have any custody?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 05:34 PM
2

It depends on her personality. If it can be amicable then tell her. If she's going to be a nightmare then don't tell her and just let her get served.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 05:22 PM
7

Bad move. I always wonder why guys give away the farm when women would never do so. Guys need to start playing the divorce game the way women do. You should split everything, assets and debts, 50/50. Anything else is just waving the white flag before a single shot is even fired.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 05:21 PM
7

What ages are the kids? You can definitely assume that she's shit-talking you to the kids especially if they're younger. It's called parental alienation. Women love to do it. Unfortunately, if there's no court order then there's nothing you can enforce. Definitely keep records of this stuff for when you do go to court. The judge won't like her withholding the children unnecessarily.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 05:20 PM
1

No. I'm just someone who doesn't say stupid things online. In this sub it's expected that everyone here is an adult by nature of having been married. Your comment would go over well in r/teenagers though.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 04:20 PM
12

It's true. Women stick together. Truth isn't really of much importance. Plus, your ex has been shit-talking you behind your back.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 06:23 AM
3

Is this my ex's new husband? I didn't know you guys got divorced already!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:39 AM
1

Jesus Christ. I know a family that's pretty nudist inside their home. Not every day. But, they see no problem walking to the bathroom at night naked, etc. my friend told me one time his some came downstairs naked to get something from the kitchen and go back up. Different strokes for different folks. Not sure if that would be considered abuse or not. Doubt it especially with how young your children are. When my boys were little, up to around 3-4, I used to take them in the shower with me so I di…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:37 AM
1

Yeah, I understand that. Sounds like my ex-wife. But,how does it manifest? What type of behaviors create such a hostile atmosphere?
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:22 AM
1

What exactly are the problems in the relationship that it has gotten to the point where you're considering offing yourself? Smart move getting rid of your firearms if you truly want to live.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:15 AM
2

OLD is about looks and charm. Looks make her want to read your bio and your bio is where a guy like you will need to shine.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 11:48 PM
1

A verbal agreement really means nothing. You'd have to sue her for breach of contract. There's a statute of limitations on it. Since it is in writing the statute is long, usually 4-5 years, than if it was verbal. In writing is also easier to prove. In the divorce you may get the money back through the divorce settlement with the judge seeing that she didn't uphold her part of the deal. But, as far as you getting your money now it isn't going to be easy unless she voluntarily gives it to you. Kee…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 11:12 PM
2

Is there a court order for her to pay anything?
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 08:09 PM
1

You need an order to pay support before support can be owed.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 06:50 PM
3

Is there a court order for her to pay something she's not? If so, file a Motion for Contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 06:41 PM
1

Like I said. Don't tell her you filed or that she's getting served or she might not answer the door.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 06:01 PM
1

Your attorney will have her served within 48 hours. If you know where she is, for example home at 8pm at night, it'll be easy. Just don't tell her you filed. If she won't accept service at home then you can serve her at work.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 05:27 PM
6

Play nice and see if you can get a threesome out of it. Red, red wine. https://youtu.be/zXt56MB-3vc
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 08:27 AM
1

The process takes a while so file this week if possible. Get the ball rolling and get ahead of her on the custody issue. Don't let her move out with your son and just "hope for the best" because she doesn't have your best interest in mine. She doesn't have your son's best interest in mind. She has HER OWN best interest in mind. Once you file the court will usually put a restraining order on children. Meaning, neither of you can move, or do anything, with them outside of the status-quo. But, you …
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 08:25 PM
5

Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 04:21 AM
1

Well, get the bodycam ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 04:20 AM
6

No. Just another year or two of child support. I call it mom support because that's who really uses it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 04:19 AM
5

Take the DV accusations with a grain of salt.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 03:13 AM
6

http://realworlddivorce.com/DomesticViolence If I were you I wouldn't stay there until I got a bodycam. She's about to set you up for a false DV charge. She already has. She'll try again. Until you get the bodycam keep your phone audio recorder going 24/7 any time you're both in the house together. So not argue with her, engage with her, or do anything except avoid her. Sleep in a separate room.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 02:51 AM
6

Now you have to grind and hopefully still be ale to retire. I'm still paying mom support while she's living a great life off of my back.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 02:31 AM
3

I didn't compare them to dogs. The analogy was something pretending they don't want something when we all know that they do. "Security" is a chief desire of women. And, money is security. This is what marriage has always been about for women. Food is a chief desire of dogs. Or, any living thing for that matter. Don't get hung up on the noun and not be able to see the forest for the trees.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 10:57 PM
6

r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 06:49 PM
9

Both a SAHM or a career woman can, and good chances will, cheat on you. A SAHM has tons of time in her hands while at home to screw around on FB, IG, bang the electrician, neighbor, guy she met at brunch with her friends, etc, while you're at work. The career woman will meet all kinds of other men at work. You cant really count on a woman being faithful today. If she is then you hit the jackpot because they are few and far between these days.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 06:48 PM
4

It's better to marry a SAHM-type woman if you want a family. But, it's definitely a slaughter fest to divorce them. If I were to make the asinine decision to get married again I'd make sure she had her own career and made decent money. Unfortunately, the kids suffer from not having a stay at home parent. But, it's the only way a guy can get out of the inevitable divorce relatively fairly. I had a SAHM and my kids are better for it now. But, the divorce drained everything I ever worked for and I …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 06:46 PM
3

Yes. File an Emergency Petition for Temporary Orders along with the Petition for Divorce. Emergency petitions are usually heard in 24-48 hours.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 09:16 AM
3

Document everything and file for primary custody ASAP with an attorney. I wouldn't even offer her more than supervised visitation at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 09:15 AM
3

Depends on your state. Most states end support at 18 or HS graduation. A few of the fucked up states, like MA, keep you on the hook until 26 to they finish college. Something crazy. As if college is a right now. Don't know who it would be paid to seeing as they are adults.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 12:37 AM
12

A woman saying she doesn't care about money is like a dog at the pound telling you, if it could, "I don't need to be fed. Just take me home."
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 02:54 PM
6

That is all true. That's why there's the saying, "the woman who walks down the aisle is not the same woman who walks into divorce court." You never truly know your wife, or what she is capable of, until you meet her in divorce court. That's when the true colors come out. And, practically every woman has that potential.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 02:11 AM
2

And so will OP. But, I'm not going to discount his feelings while he's in the immediate aftermath of getting a divorce, and all that comes with it, dropped in his lap.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 02:09 AM
4

I had a settlement conference with my ex and our attorneys. But, it's pointless if either party is being unreasonable which she was. Otherwise, we would've settled way before a settlement conference.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 10:39 PM
3

As someone who has gone through the worst divorce any of both of our attorneys had ever seen, with 10 years of custody battles, I can tell you it gets better. I've had every custody arrangement in the book. For the first years I had full custody while she was off smoking pole and those were truly some of the happiest years ever even though raising young children, while having a full-time job, and going to court and other legal shit she pulled on me was also the most stressful time. But, being ab…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 10:19 PM
10

I don't think it's the woman so much as the complete upheaval of his life. I can understand that feeling. The feeling that everything and everyone you've sacrificed so much for is just instantly gone. It's a terrible place to be.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 10:12 PM
7

Hell no. They want money and will do anything to get in - including it holding custody from you through the courts to increase child support. Meanwhile,they're collecting your money and also spending lots of time with the kids developing a deeper bond while the man is paying her money and losing that time to depend their bind. You said it already. They are snakes. And, snakes don't apologize for biting. The only apology from my ex I'd accept is the one accompanied with a 130k cashiers check. The…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 01:41 AM
15

Men typically lose the house, half of the property and assets he's earned, and custody of the children. Women get all of those in divorce so when they divorce their life is essentially intact - just without the husband. When a man divorces he essentially ends up as a single guy again and now he's single with huge monthly stipends (child support and alimony) to pay his ex wife. So, the ex wife continues to benefit from the man after divorce. But, the man no longer benefits from her. He still has …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 05:50 PM
1

Get it in writing now before you agree to do anything differently once you help her out this week she'll renege on the deal since she already got what she wanted. Personally, I wouldn't do anything different right now. Any side agreement you make, even if it's in writing, won't matter much in court. Let her deal with it. Block her on your phone and everywhere else that week. Just ghost her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 06:06 PM
3

Your days are a Friday-Monday. The other days are hers. That means it's hers to figure out. She enjoyed having all of the weekends off to party. But, now she's not happy that this week will actually require sacrifice on her part. It's her problem, not yours. You can use this as leverage for a written and negotiated custody change though.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 07:32 AM
2

How she behaved is the question. Pedigree doesn't really matter to me. Though, you'd think they'd lend themself to more dignified behavior. Also "1st ex-wife?" Damn! You didn't learn the first time?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 05:18 AM
0

And,that's great for hookup sex. But, for a woman to qualify as "my girl" she couldn't be known as someone who got around. No way would I walk into a club with a woman and 10 other dudes look over who had been with her. It was that way a bit in high school. But, as an adult it changed a bit for me. As you become a mature adult it changes. As bad as it sounds,there's sort of a status-factor based on who you were with. It was the same for them, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 04:40 AM
6

No woman you'd want anything serious with gave it up on date 1-2 unless you were both drunk or partying. I had plenty of those. But, by doing so they automatically put themselves in the hookup zone with me. Every serious girlfriend I had usually took a solid month or two. If those same women gave it up on dates 1-2 they wouldn't have been a girlfriend because that means they gave it up to every guy that quick. These days it's just expected from most every woman as long as you have some game. But…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 04:24 AM
6

As a guy I can say hookup culture has been great. When I was younger I used to have to date for weeks/months before getting any action. Now it happens usually by the 2nd date. There were those occasional ONS back then, too. But, now it's like swiping through a menu. It's been a great liberator for men of the pressure to woo and impress the women. The bar is super low for guys right now. If you can't get laid in this free-for-all society then you never will.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 03:48 AM
6

It means any time one person wants to divorce for any reason whatsoever, and, if the other person doesn't then, well, that's just another difference that is irreconcilable.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 08:36 PM
2

True. Of the 4 major relationships I was in (totally over 20 years of relationship time) 3/4 of them got physically violent at times.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 08:30 AM
2

File for divorce in the US on the grounds of abandonment.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 01:21 AM
1

This post overlooks so many things that have contributed to the rise in prices. Thinks like taking us off of the gold standard and allowing fiat currency to be printed out of thin air (monetary inflation) which devalues the currency and makes things cost more (price inflation), environmental regulations that drive up homebuilding costs, loss of good-paying manufacturing jobs to overseas labor, etc. So, while that overseas iPhone costs $1k it would cost $3k if it was made domestically in union fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 12:30 AM
1

You'll need a lawyer that specializes in international law. Your regular US divorce attorney won't likely be able to help.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 09:28 AM
1

I think your tax records for the past 3 years would be all you need.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 08:50 PM
14

You shouldn't take your frustration out on other men going through their own struggles. Even without kids you can get decimated in divorce. Not as much as with children. But, still decimated.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 05:39 AM
14

At best, most women are smash and pass grade anyway. And, you'll be the 30th smash for them this year. Remember that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 05:37 AM
61

What you're doing is smart. Unfortunately, it takes a bad experience to learn what to look for. All it takes is for one "fun," but unhinged woman to ruin your life.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 01:31 AM
1

They should first call the parent with custody that day. If they can't make it then the parent should call the other parent to see if they can pick up. If they say no then custodial parent must pick up. If you and your ex don't get along they'll probably tell you to pound sand even though it would be better for the children.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 05:46 AM
1

It's always a good idea to avoid a fight. You could be severely injured, killed, or thrown in jail and caught up in court for doing the same to him. Either way, that won't be good for your upcoming divorce proceeding. Imagine your STBXW being able to tell the judge you're currently in jail for a violent charge. Definitely not a good look.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 04:34 AM
1

You have no idea who I am so your rushes to a conclusion are I'll-founded.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 08:27 PM
3

If you feed a homeless dog then they are hungry. Make sure it doesn't bite your hand while giving it food. I have a dog and I still and am wary about him biting too hard. So, I gently offer it enough to where he can take it without me feeling his teeth.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 06:02 PM
1

Well, the appraisal will cost you $200 and could save you THOUSANDS in the negotiation. Money well spent.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 11:21 PM
1

A comp isn't an appraisal. Hire an independent appraiser and then you can submit that against the comp.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 11:16 PM
1

Minority status doesn't matter in family court. It's a machine. They just want to crank your case out so they can destroy the next man. Have you had your house professionally appraised? If not, pay a couple hundred bucks to get a professional appraisal. You can use that in negotiations with the court.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 10:58 PM
4

Well, she's getting around somehow. Looks like she needs a friend to drive her to the exchange. Or, there's always Uber.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 10:41 PM
1

You need to get your attorney to include your commitment to refi as part of your divorce settlement. Put a time range on it like within 90 days after divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 10:36 PM
7

It's always risky to liquidate a tax-protected account. My ex essentially drained mine with QDROs to finance her attorney. That bitch bled me dry in marriage and in divorce. What did I do wrong? Gave her wonderful children, saved her from essentially being homeless, gave her a good life when she had nothing, and the bitch still reamed me in court later.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 09:41 PM
1

You can refi the property on your own. But, make sure the divorce is finalized first. The quit claim deed doesn't remove her from the loan.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 09:36 PM
1

Not sure why you were downvoted. That's the right answer.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 12:38 AM
3

Her attorney has a limited amount of time to file a Motion to Reconsider. What she's doing will go nowhere.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 04:20 PM
3

Thanks for the post. I'm seeing my kids tonight and we have a decent relationship. I've worked, and went through hell, to keep it that way. A lot of times I wonder if it would've just been easier for me to leave until they became adults and then came back to do repair work. Still don't know if staying around was the right thing because their mother is an expert manipulator and caused ongoing damage even in the post-divorce years. But, I cherish the time I've had and the ability to stay around an…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 04:19 PM
3

Life is good, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 06:12 AM
1

Date a divorced with with children who has 50/50 custody with her ex. Get both of your parenting schedules on the same weeks. See each other on the off weeks. Worked for me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 12:08 AM
1

You should get minimum 50% custody with child support and possibly alimony. Property will be split in half. Unemployment fraud might be thrown entirely on her as it's a criminal offense. See an attorney. Don't leave anything on the table. Don't give up any time with your kids due to promises from her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:50 AM
2

Fuck it. Default but don't make it intentional. She's not contributing to bills so you have to decide which bill doesn't get paid. You'll ruin your credit for 3 years but fuck it. Least of your worries.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 09:05 PM
3

First off, I came from a very religious background myself prior to marriage and also during it. Being a "virtuous woman/wife" isn't about being a prude. It's about being honorable, reliable, and someone he can trust his life with. What you choose to do together in the bedroom has nothing to do with virtue in the context of the Bible. One saying that sums this up is "be a lady in the streets and a whore in the sheets." Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and ad…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 07:03 AM
1

Hey now!
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 10:12 PM
1

Men are waking up. r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 04:03 PM
2

Yes. But, a judge isn't going to evict her from her home. Since they are married it's her home, too, regardless of whose name the mortgage is under. He would need an Order to Vacate from a judge if he wanted her out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 08:04 AM
4

They are married. You can't evict your spouse. He needs a court order for her to vacate if it's going to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 07:53 AM
6

She has legal residency there. He can't just kick her out. He needs the TRO quashed. But, either way nobody is kicking that woman out especially because now she's a "victim" of OP. Only men are made homeless by the court. Not women. Otherwise,everything else you said is solid. All communication to her, IN ANY WAY, goes through his lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 06:32 AM
3

No. Don't use the same lawyer for the DV and divorce UNLESS criminal law is part of their expertise. A lot of family lawyers handle DV because it's so common in divorce against men. But, they aren't the best at it. They'll probably just push him to lead it down. He wants it dropped or to go to trial. That's what my divorce lawyer did. But, my next lawyer was both a criminal and family lawyer and he would've gotten that shit dropped. And, he needs his attorney to a file a Motion for Return of Per…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 06:27 AM
9

Okay, you're in for a whirlwind. You need a criminal defense attorney and a family/divorce attorney. My attorney handled both my false DV arrest/criminal case as well as my divorce. But, I don't recommend you use the same attorney for both. You need to fight that DV and you need a good criminal defense attorney for it. A divorce attorney is not expert in criminal law or perhaps a trial. They are procedural paper pushers. You have a pretty easy case of getting it either dropped or found NG in cou…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 06:24 AM
4

At this point you need to not say anything to her about anything other than regarding the care of the children. She is no longer your wife. She is your adversary trying to take you kids and livelihood away from you. Sleep in a different room if you aren't already. Get that bodycam I linked in another reply and use it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 03:21 AM
3

Make sure it's on a cloud account like iCloud (unless you share the account), Dropbox, Google Drive, etc. If you have a Gmail account then you can set up Google Drive and I think you get 5GB free which is plenty.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 03:19 AM
3

Put it up on the cloud so she can't find a hard copy and destroy it. Don't tell her about the cloud account. Give that footage to your attorney. Sorry to say. This isn't a mediated-type of divorce situation. She is already making it ugly by lying to your children to make you look bad. That's horrible.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 03:18 AM
6

Dude, if she is lawyering up then you need to as well. What you do now will decide your future personally and with your kids. Don't fuck it up like I did. I didn't have Reddit or anyone to give me advice during my divorce. I got falsely arrested, a restraining order, went to jail a couple of times over it, etc. I did play a few things well though and later ended up with full custody. But, you have the advantage of a group of experienced men here to help you not make that mistake. Listen to the a…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 03:15 AM
10

They play by rules. The rules of destroying the husband at all costs to gain advantage despite the damage it does to him or the kids. Truly ruthless women are.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 03:13 AM
8

Save that footage IMMEDIATELY. That should be included as an exhibit in your Answer to her Petition for Divorce. That is horrible what she's doing. Pure emotional abuse and manipulation of the children. It's called "parental alienation" and judges don't like it. Do NOT lose that footage. Save it up and back it up to a cloud account.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 03:09 AM
4

You call the police and show them the video right now. Trust me. I know you don't want to. But, you need to. Sounds like it's going to be a messy divorce and you need this on record before she paints you as the bad guy to family, friends, your kids, and the court. Do it. You will thank me later.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 01:30 AM
1

They will go to any length at their disposal without regard as to how it harms the kids or the father. It's all about her at any cost. That is my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 08:56 AM
1

Yes, but if the pattern is established due to nefarious activity like this it'll turn the judge against her. Once the judge sees you in an unfavorable light it's very hard to shake. Agree on the Motion for Temp Orders thiugh. Cite her unwillingness to allow visitation with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 04:36 AM
1

If he can establish in writing that he's trying to see the kids and she's deliberately withholding then it will backfire on her.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 04:34 AM
1

Oh, she's fucked if she took all the money and left you broke. That's another thing to document. Start building a folder right now with all of this info. The judge will skewer her for all of this stuff she's doing.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 04:32 AM
1

Get an2nd job to help with money since you are free and don't have the kids at all right now. You should have plenty of time to work extra. Document your second job as well as her withholding the children. Communicate with her only through email. Set up a special email called something like "[email protected]." Block her on your iPhone so she can't call or text. Get her in writing refusing visitation. Give her NO MONEY if there isn't an order by the court to do so. Her withholding the kids w…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 04:31 AM
1

She'll have to pay something. The judge will impute income to her whether she works or not. Her husband isn't liable for it. But, if she doesn't earn money then he'll be forced to cover her obligation.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 11:05 PM
1

And she'll be paying child support, too. She's already married the guy so she's in a pickle. Move to her new husband and leave the kids or stay and probably get a quick annulment. What a dumb woman.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 09:55 PM
1

Wowsers. I give it 2 years max.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 09:55 PM
1

Absolutely not. You need that constant monthly time with your kids. You don't want your kids a year older every time you see them. You will miss out on a lot. No way would I allow this move. She knew the guy for 3-4 months and married him? Yikes! Any judge will look at that as suspect. Tell her she can move. But, the kids stay with you and she can have the summer and Christmas time she's proposing to you. Let your attorney know about this pronto so they can get ahead of it with a restraining ord…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 09:53 PM
10

I think he also added in a dog. Dogs are loved unconditionally, too.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 05:21 PM
1

Sounds good so far. But, with her not having money coming in there’s a good chance she’s going to try and dig into you for some.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 02:15 AM
3

Just put it in there that all of them need mutual consent if the parent wants the other one to help pay.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 02:13 AM
15

Usually she has. And, most marriage counselors are there to get the man to acquiesce to the woman’s needs rather than her meet a man’s needs.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 02:13 AM
4

I enjoy loving alone. Roommates can be cool if you guys have the same outlook on life and get along. I’ve had good ones and bad ones when I was younger. But, I’d assume it should be better as adults if you decide to.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 02:11 AM
1

If she’s threatening divorce at 10 years then no way should he give her another 5 years to improve her position. Divorce ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 08:50 PM
2

Yup. Schedule a consultation.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 08:48 PM
1

Set up your living arrangement now to facilitate 50/50 before trial. Have a place where the kids have rooms, beds, etc already set up.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 08:12 PM
2

Settle for no less than 50/50 custody minimum from the beginning.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 08:11 PM
1

Property - no. Custody and child support - yes. Ours changed 4-5 times over a decade as the custody situation and incomes changed. Not sure about alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 08:10 PM
1

As long as you still get normal erections like morning wood, wood during sleep, daytime, if you want to rub one out, etc, then you’re fine medically. It’s all in your head. Maybe have a few drinks (2-3) next time to loosen up and get rid of the anxiety.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 07:15 PM
6

100%. If it’s lost it doesn’t come back.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 04:44 PM
5

100% get a vasectomy. It totally removes their ability to pressure for kids.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 11:20 AM
19

Cohabitation is what ruined my last relationship. Playing Brady Bunch isn't as easy as they show it on TV. When I had children at home I dated single mothers. But, yes, when it starts to get more serious it usually goes to shit. You will never love the woman's kids like your own. And, she won't love yours like her own.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 11:18 AM
5

Haha! That is rich. Pull out the Fleshlight. Free, always willing, available, won't cheat on you, give you a STI, or nag at you the second you walk in the door.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 05:29 PM
2

Learn the laws and procedure. I did a lot Pro Se. better to have an attorney but if you can't afford it then representing yourself is better than nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 11:00 PM
0

No simple fix. You have to relentlessly fight in court.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 10:57 PM
2

Of course there are judges to schedule a hearing. Look up your county court for the judges. You have one assigned to your case.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 07:47 PM
12

At that point you don't want her. Never be the backup guy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 08:27 AM
10

They have a way of lingering while you're sharing custody. I dealt with all of that bullshit for a long time. It just is what it is if you guys don't get along. Just make sure your daughter knows that if you could take her to her lessons you would. But, it's mom's time so only she can do it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 05:20 AM
8

What you heard is true. When a woman is done she is done. Not every time they say they're done are they done, however. But, if she's looking at you with disdain then it's over. She probably already has a new guy. Remember, she's not yours. It was just your turn. Focus on your kids. I wouldn't date right now. I'd join the gym and get jacked/ripped and take care of myself.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 05:17 AM
2

I highly doubt half of your salary is on the line. I think it usually caps out at 20-30%. But, I don't know the details. Welcome to divorce Hell. Get a good attorney if you don't have one. Retirement may be a looooong way off especially if she has to be retired, too. She can just take a part time job at a convenience store for 15 hours a week to keep those payments coming in forever.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 02:25 AM
6

Start building your new life now. Start with hitting the gym 4-5 days a week.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 06:03 PM
5

All of your financial accounts. If you have a joint account then now is the time to open up a solo account and transfer exactly 50% of the money into it and then don't touch the joint account.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 06:02 PM
3

It is possible to remain friends for the kids. My ex-gf and her ex-husband are great friends and coparents. It's rare. But, it can happen if neither parent is selfish or unreasonable. Only* you know what kind of woman your wife is. For me, I knew that was an impossibility with my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 05:50 PM
10

You tel her to figure it out. That's how. If she can't get the kids to school then you tell that to the judge and go for full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 05:48 PM
3

I'm long past trying to guess what's in a woman's mind when I see behavior that doesn't match the reality of the situation. But, she's up to something.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 05:46 PM
35

Women are manipulative. Don't let her lull you to sleep with pleasantries and catch you off-guard. She's now an adversary in an adversarial court case. Be cordial, respectful, friendly. But,definitely keep your guard up.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 04:05 PM
5

Get a card and cheap thing of flowers and have the kids write a note in the card. Irl promote a good coparenting relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 04:38 PM
30

Get her a nominal gift like a card and cheap thing of flowers from the kids just to stay in good graces with her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 04:37 PM
2

Really depends on how she's treating you. Is it a messy divorce or is she being fair and reasonable with you?
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 04:36 PM
51

Well, she revealed how she deals with minor incidents. So, you've been warned.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 04:51 PM
6

Have the police present doing a civil standby to keep her on good behavior. Sometimes just having a cop show up with you can persuade her to behave and be reasonable since there's now 3rd party accountability. Get a police report of the incident.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 09:47 PM
12

If your name is on the house and she doesn't have exclusive use then call the police for a civil standby while you retrieve your belongings.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 09:45 PM
11

You better be a magician in court because you'll need it. I have to go to court again in a month and I'm already having to plan this strategy and gameplay.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 11:57 PM
24

If it's for your kids then I'd do it. If it was for her I'm not doing it unless she's fucking me. And, I wouldn't fuck my ex-wife so I guess it's not happening.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 11:55 PM
1

Get the PPO. Next time she violates it call the police.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 07:57 PM
2

I don't drop personal details. The facts stay the same mostly across the US.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 07:46 PM
3

Women file for divorce 80% of the time. I got full custody of my kids and that's all that mattered to me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 12:10 PM
2

I'm tall, conventionally attractive, have a life, business, and am involved in a lot of things. When you allow a woman into your space she will deduct from everything.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 05:17 AM
1

You can establish customs in the parenting plan.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 03:37 AM
1

Exactly. It's the first round of Discovery.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 03:37 AM
12

You gotta paragraph this out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 03:35 AM
2

I'm going to be brutally honest and this may sting. But, I'm not one to sugar coat things. Asian guys are at the bottom of the totem pole for dating. I don't know why. It just is. My Filipino friend is a great guy and has been single for decades. Having said that. You don't need a woman to be happy. Find happiness elsewhere. I'm kind of at the top of the dating food chain and have still decided not to even play with it. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. I have a dog and sports I do.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 03:30 AM
1

They'd have to file a Motion to Change Venue I think.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 09:24 PM
2

Depends on what it's referencing. At face value it sounds like the court is retaining jurisdiction over something. Meaning, they have authority over it going forward.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 08:07 PM
40

Don't date single moms. You should read this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 09:50 PM
10

Seriously. Holding her accountable for physical abuse will pay great long-term dividends. You'll for sure end up with your daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 04:07 PM
2

See if you can reason with her first. Tell her that once you get your own solicitor then all communication will go between the solicitors. At that point you both are going to be spending a lot of money on simple things you can sort out yourself. Tell her that the more you both pay on solicitors the less there will be for you to split.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 03:22 PM
5

She pays for her own solicitor. If you get one you pay for yours. It doesn't matter who left or not. You're ready to do this cheaply without them involved at all. She wants them involved. So, that's going to cost money. Since she already has one you can't rely on them to look out for your interests. Do not pay her solicitor.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 03:00 PM
1

My don't give a fuck meter is pretty damn high these days. I've just been in plenty of relationships so I know what drama is involved.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 02:37 AM
2

Yeah, but I think in MA you have to pay until they're 26.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 02:35 AM
1

Yeah, if you already had the hearing then it's gone.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 02:35 AM
4

At this point I'd move for primary custody with her having every other weekend. Do that for a year and if all goes well then you can move to 50/50. Tell the judge she abandoned you and the children and you need to see some consistency from her first.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 02:34 AM
1

If the judge finds that the TRO was frivolous, and especially is based on false allegations, then have your attorney push that part hard.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 08:31 PM
0

Yeah, that's the idea. But, you miss all the other things. Flowers, gifts, Valentine's Day (thankfully just past), etc. The guy always comes out on the bottom.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 08:31 PM
1

Well, you have primary physical custody now due to her abandoning the kid. File a Motion for Temporary Orders and calendar it for hearing. Those get heard pretty quickly. Usually within 2 weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 08:29 PM
1

Your attorney should have put it in the requests for relief part where he pleaded the court to dismiss the TRO.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 08:27 PM
1

He doesn't ask her to pay for defending the TRO. He asks the court to award attorney fees for you having to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 07:15 PM
2

Dude, you should've gotten half of everything in the divorce and her robbing the accounts dry should've gone against her half. You also should get 50% custody especially as she abandoned your daughter to you and you've been the sole parent. She makes 3x as you so she's paying child support.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 07:13 PM
3

What's your financial situation like? You know all women cost money.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 07:11 PM
6

Don't forget MA.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:28 PM
4

None are more favorable. Some are just disastrous.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 12:27 PM
3

Just stay in the shadows.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 04:32 AM
3

Gotta play the game that they created. They sure as hell do.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:42 AM
9

In my case? It covered her new luxury car.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:40 AM
1

Go with a man. He'll likely understand a man's issues better and won't play with kid gloves with your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:39 AM
24

Yeah, you are no longer her emotional tampon.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 06:24 PM
1

If you challenge it then you have a good shot at keeping the status-quo.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 05:57 PM
4

If it's a community property state then it's all community assets and debt until the Decree of Divorce is entered. If there's a separation clause then you might be able to use that as a line of where community becomes individual. That said, if she just acts recklessly knowing a divorce is coming then a judge likely will take that into account on the asset split. Immediately remove your name from any joint credit cards or bank accounts. Open a new bank account and move exactly 50% of what's in it…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 11:59 AM
35

You don't go back.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 10:14 AM
1

If your name is on the place, and barring any legal orders preventing you from living there, you should be able to go back.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 08:42 AM
4

Dude, you paid for your living expenses for 8 years except for splitting rent? Looks like she kept you around just long enough to support her through school. Sound about right? Go for the alimony. It won't be much with a 1 year marriage. But, it'll help recapture some of all of that money she lived off you on for her education.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 03:11 PM
1

Well, stop drinking and if your x brings it up in court just tell the court that you are not an alcoholic, have decided to stop drinking any time you are in custody of the children, and don't want it to affect your parenting time.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 08:44 AM
2

She smokes weed thought,right? That's illegal in TX. Alcohol isn't. Edit: I might be confusing this with another post from TX.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 08:02 AM
4

If you didn't have kids together you'll build back fast.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 07:42 AM
1

That's okay. Weed is up to 120 days. Alcohol isn't illegal in TX. Weed is.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 03:39 PM
4

Offer the court to do a UA on you on the condition they do it on her, too. Make it by hair follicle specimen. Offer to pay for both tests, too, so she can't argue about the expense.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 09:51 AM
2

I don't think weed is legal in TX. If not, file a Motion for Drug Testing by Hair Follicle Specimen against her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 09:03 AM
12

Until custody is resolved stop drinking 100%.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 09:01 AM
3

Gym, exercise, fresh air, clean food (no fast food). If you have a truck fridge them you can cook a lot with a single skillet pan and hot plate. Learn how to chop, dice, and sauté veggies as well as pan sear meats like chicken, fish, beef. Cooking itself is a relaxing zen experience. Plus, the better nutrition will make you feel a lot better, increase your energy, and save a bunch of money.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 02:11 PM
1

Keep your emotions in check. Record at all times with her during every interaction.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 06:32 AM
3

Just sit back and relax. You're in the driver's seat here. Let her attorney file a motion and then you respond. Simple as that. Allow her access to the children if you believe she's responsible with them. Otherwise, you really don't have to do shit.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 07:37 AM
7

Listen, brother. Take a deep breath and relax. I know it's hard when your kids are involved. I went through it. You need to play the long game here. Shut down any attempt she's making to immediately change custody or whatever. Do that immediately. The easiest method is to just not participate. This means don't accept service from her if she sends it. Don't go on any bus trips unless it's what you want to do. Drag this out for 6-12 months and wear her out a bit. She'll be much more agreeable in 6…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 09:00 PM
1

Divorce is a bitch, this is why we advise men to stay r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 10:14 AM
2

Just be careful to try and keep the kids out of the middle. Very hard to do.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 06:12 AM
2

Her not claiming child support today can change to her claiming it 30 days after divorce. She can always come back... over and over and over for modification or a change. So, don't* even listen to that promise of her. Assume you're paying the max starting tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 06:29 AM
7

Women learn from other women from the time they are young. Men learn from men after they are older. We need to change that and that's what we're doing over at r/AgainstMatrimony. Come join.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 06:25 AM
2

Well, too late to do pre-game planning. How long married, any kids, what kind of income and assets? PM me if you want it to be private.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 05:35 AM
8

I did it. It's an easy trap to fall into. Everyone wants love and connection. But, it takes men a while to learn that it comes at a steep price and is usually temporary. Good for you for knowing this now. I didn't have Reddit, or any social media really, when I decided to try it again. What my second relationship cost me (not a marriage because I knew not to do that again). My kids fought with her kids. She made way less so I covered most expenses. I even covered expenses for her kids when her e…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 05:33 AM
2

Where are you at in the divorce? Active, pending, forthcoming, a year off?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 05:29 AM
20

Never date, or especially marry, a single mom. She's just using you to foot the bill for her and her kids.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 02:17 AM
3

My divorce was over in 2 year. The custody battles went on for 10.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 05:24 AM
1

In my world, if I'm already taking defensive measures against an upcoming divorce then I'm going to play first line defense and not get married.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 01:26 AM
2

Who says you can't divorce her? Getting sick isn't a free pass to cheat and neglect your marriage and children.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 01:24 AM
3

You were given access to her PST file so it's not a computer crime. But, it's likely not to change anything unless there's some salacious info in there.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 04:34 PM
14

You win by not playing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 09:35 AM
2

It means to make sure everything is in order with your paperwork. If you slip on something minor it could give her a loophole to come and grab thousands.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 10:32 PM
3

You are not listening to me. I've been in and out of family court for over 10 years. She can file a Motion to Modify Custody and Support at any time. I've done it plenty when I was getting screwed over. I did a lot of it Pro Se because I read the FLCP and learned the law. You're giving her money. Once you do that it is hers and you won't get any back. So, you need to make sure your paperwork, and deal, is rock solid. If it isn't she can come back in 6 months with an attorney, cry crocodile tears…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 06:03 PM
2

Just make sure you dot your I and cross your t on this thing with the paperwork. That's a decent chunk of change to give her so you need to make sure your deal is solid. Do you have an attorney? If not, maybe pretend you're sick on Monday and go talk to an attorney for an hour to make sure your case is solid.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 05:51 PM
5

If you can keep her happy then do so. Sounds like she could be real trouble if this goes to court. On Monday have a cashiers check for 45k made out to her and dangle it like a biscuit in front of a dog. She'll want that check so bad. Your problem is that she's the mother and she can come back any time for custody modification. She needs to sign her rights away.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 05:30 PM
12

Take the kids, give her 45k, and move on with your life and family. As long as you don't lose your children money is just paper. You can argue for 30k but that'll cost $10k in attorney fees. Give her the money as long as she signs custody over to you. The kids can't go anywhere. And, at this point because of her intention to fly abroad, all of her visits need to be supervised.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 08:47 AM
5

How can you have custody if she's leaving the country? You, at minimum, need an injunction on that part. But, once she's gone with the kids good luck enforcing it. She needs her, and the kids, passports revoked. Otherwise, 50/50 custody and paying her 45k is a decent deal. It gets her off your back for good..... except if her plan is to get the money and fly abroad with the kids. If that's the case then you're fucked. You're better off getting an attorney and document the flight risk of her and …
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 08:30 AM
2

r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 06:40 AM
9

It gets better faster if you get yourself better. No alcohol, start working out, eat clean, get fresh air and sunshine. For me, that combination really got me through the worst times and I got in the best shape of my life in 3 months. Went from 240 to 185. I'm tall. So, that was a very lean muscular and it felt great physically and mentally.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 03:13 AM
0

Did you get a prenup?
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 02:21 AM
6

You limit your exposure by avoiding it altogether. Full stop. If she wants an attorney she can borrow from family. Why don't you suggest mediation and you pay for it instead? It's a helluva lot cheaper and a helluva lot faster. You have her in a good spot. You have an attorney and she doesn't. That's a massive upper hand. Don't give it away. She can't really drag it out much without a lawyer on her side whispering in her ear to "fight, fight,fight." Go to mediation, or simply have your attorney,…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 02:15 AM
4

Well, at this point you need to finesse your current marriage like your life depends on it. If things go bust you have CS for another 18 years because you guys are expecting another child.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 12:30 AM
12

Nope. You are not wrong. I was laid off many years ago from a job I was at for over 10 years due to the economy and they refused to lower my child support. I ended up liquidating my retirement slowly over time to stay up with CS payments. That's called "double dipping." I paid CS on the money earned that went into my retirement and then they started taking CS on the money I already paid CS on (my retirement). Getting married and having kids today, as a man, is a sure first step into poverty. You…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 11:43 PM
2

Oh, how I wish I had Reddit, or if it was even around, when my divorce happened. Ours went full nuclear.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 08:48 AM
16

It takes 2 people to marry and only 1 to divorce. If she cheated on you like that then you shouldn't want her back even if she does want to come back. That trust never comes back. It would never be the same.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 08:47 AM
4

Judges must read your filings. It's their job. They do it before you see them in court. The reason you don't do it all in open court is because they have a schedule to keep and they need to know beforehand how long your case will take. They can't put you, and 5 other cases, into a 1 hour time slot if you want to talk for 2 hours. It's also inefficient because the other side needs an opportunity to respond thoughtfully to your filings. If you just go in blind and lay out your case then the other …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 06:03 AM
3

You are just a customer to most attorneys. So, unless they see big money coming in from you then they probably want to just wrap it up so they can spend time bilking others who have more money to fight with. A Declaration can be 2 pages long or 20. But, it should lay out your case, step-by-step, in a way that gives the judge a clear understanding of your position and the facts that you have knowledge of. So, it should be orderly and build up the argument systematically rather than bouncing aroun…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 04:44 AM
3

You might want a new lawyer. If they haven't brought up filing a Declaration, and you have to learn about it from someone on Reddit, then they aren't really putting much effort into your case. A good lawyer should guide you on how to best present the facts of the case to the judge. Sounds like they're just lazy.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 03:24 AM
5

Your 30 minutes is in court with oral arguments. You can make plenty more of a case through a well-written Declaration which the judge will read before you get to court. Also, your attorney is a cunt.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 02:55 AM
5

Well, is there a way you can find a reason to have to go into the office 2-3 days a week and use the commute time to play music or something to decompress? Yes, immediately start planning to GTFO of MA. Do it quietly and don't let her know why. Use COL or something as the reason. Make it into a fun idea.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 01:00 PM
8

She sounds suffocating. Do you have the option to work at an office instead of at home. What you probably need is a break from each other daily. Familiarity breeds contempt and you guys are together WAY TOO MUCH as it is. I'm not in your shoes. I assume you're in MA or some fucked up state for divorce based on the 26 years of mom support you'll have to pay. 1 hr a day of gaming is not excessive and she's being totally unrealistic.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 11:53 AM
10

Really sorry to hear this, brother. I, and a lot of other men, have been where you are. It's going to hurt for a while. Right now you need to treat yourself like you would treat someone that you were responsible for caring for (Jordan Peterson quote). Don't turn to booze. It'll only make things worse. You have a roof over your head and that's more than a lot of guys have in the immediate days afterwards. Myself included. I did have a good job and car though so that helped me compartmentalism my …
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 11:49 AM
4

Agreed. The only way to win is to not play the game. If you made the dumb mistake of getting married, like we all here did, the only way to redeem that error, in any way, is to not make that mistake twice.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 04:38 AM
3

100%. r-divorce is the de facto women's divorce sub.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 04:34 AM
2

100% this. I tried to fix what was broken and it only bought time and put me in a worse position. I still outplayed her in the divorce though as far as custody through creative use of being the sole breadwinner. Game face time.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 04:34 AM
9

You can not get married. r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 04:10 PM
7

Best interest of the lawyers, judges, and court finances.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 02:41 PM
22

Not PDs. That's for criminal cases if your indigent. But, what happens, as happened to me, as I was forced to pay her attorney bills. So, I essentially paid her lawyer to argue against mine. We both lost. It all came out of what was left to settle between ourselves. Our children were the real losers. There goes their college fund,etc.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 07:59 AM
2

Call off the wedding. You probably just gave away half of your equity.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 02:17 AM
1

Divorce her and take custody of the kid. Problem solved. She'll have to figure her shit out at that point.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 01:38 AM
2

Wear a bodycam any time you have custody time with your daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 08:41 PM
1

She told you that mediation was off the table so you suggestion "collaborate separation," which is really just negotiation where her attorney gets to play a part and drain the family estate of some billable hours.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 09:09 AM
8

"Collaborative Separation Approach" is just a way to not mediate. She has her advocate and you need to hire your own now. A mediator is a neutral 3rd party that doesn't represent either side for low-conflict cases. Once she hired an attorney she instantly upped the conflict amount so you must now get your own attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 08:55 AM
1

Yeah, I can see all of that. Not sure if you're a gamer at all. But, it's super easy to pass an evening that way. Or, study for a new class/cert to further your career.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 03:58 AM
3

That was some of the biggest issues with me, too. Getting her to repay a dumb bill. She used my insurance and just wouldn't pay the copays. I started getting lots of collection notices for things I wasn't even aware of.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 03:56 AM
12

I can't believe you forgot Nazi.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen30/01/23 03:55 AM
2

I'm not quite your age but I'd ask what is she offering you in this relationship? Your kids are grown and good. So, unless she's rocking your socks off weekly I don't see a reason to stay in an ugly relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 04:48 AM
4

Well, you took the Big L by marrying her and, especially, putting the house in her name. You have rights so it's just going to be more work to untangle this. Don't get married again. r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 04:44 AM
3

Not true.if you have a decent firm they handle the QDRO disbursements. I went through 3 of them. She sucked me dry. DO NOT neglect her accounts. Balance the scale.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/23 09:33 PM
1

Her child, your step child, has nothing to do with this divorce. Try to disengage with her as much as possible. Communicate in writing. Sleep in your vehicle if you have to. She's already lobbing false DV allegations. So, you need to play some defense here.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 03:48 AM
2

Just keep up what you're doing. Family court judges have a lot of marginal leeway. One might say the RV is fine and another might not. It's not like you're homeless. You need to communicate to the judge that an RV is just like an apartment with wheels. r/RVLiving
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 03:26 AM
1

There's nothing wrong with living in a RV. A lot of the world population lives on less. What matters is how the kids are treated, fed, cared for,etc.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 05:50 PM
1

She needs to demonstrate verifiable proof of why a TRO is necessary. It's kind of a wonky issue because all she has to say is you make her afraid of you for any xyz issue. Be on your best behavior with her. All communication should be in writing at this point. http://realworlddivorce.com/DomesticViolence
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 05:01 PM
1

Ours is 3 year for an automatic review and you can petition any time there's a 15% change.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 04:04 AM
3

She can't come back for "more later." She can't enforce anything that want ordered.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 07:50 PM
30

Don't give in. That's what she wants. Stand firm. Put your game face on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 07:48 PM
2

In my state if you are not in the house legally (meaning kicked out with a TRO or any other method that prevents you from living there) this would fall under "computer crime" statutes. You don't live there so you don't have legal access to see what's happening. You can keep it on the down-low and watch all you want. But, you can never introduce it into court. And, if you do, you can be charged with a crime. I had spyware installed on our family computer because I suspected my ex of cheating. Thi…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 04:47 PM
1

r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 01:59 AM
2

Dude, don't let her play you with this shit. My ex wife even did it so bad she manipulated our kids into negotiating for her and they were all under 10 at the time. Women in divorce are snakes.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 10:48 PM
2

The DV Parallel Track
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 10:46 PM
3

TheresIf she changed names then you'd be in for a difficult defamation claim. Also, if you haven't been clinically-diagnosed with NPD then that is slander. Include it in your divorce case if you think it's going to blow up. If you think the podcast won't go anywhere then dont because your filings are public record.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 01:39 AM
1

She's an alcoholic, too. He is now sober and she is not.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 01:05 AM
3

Ignore her and wear the bodycam. Sleep in a separate room. Avoid her in common areas. Don't talk to her or engage regardless of how hard she tries to engage with you or provoke you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 01:04 AM
4

Well, if the restraining order is lifted you should be able to move back in at least. Sketchy though with her DV stuff. Buy a cheap bodycam on Amazon and wear it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 12:02 AM
1

Start logging and recording her continued drinking without her knowing it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 12:00 AM
1

OVI is a misdemeanor. It's not going to affect the property split.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 11:58 PM
5

Until the whole family estate is bled dry there is always something to fight about.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 02:18 AM
9

Lawyer working those billable hours. They make nothing if you don't bicker and fight.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 02:18 AM
18

He's looking at getting lifetime alimony in CA. Does he have family he can borrow from to get a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 06:38 AM
1

Most courthouses have a "self-help" department where they have pre-printed forms you fill out. Go get those forms and you and your STBXW sit at the table and go through it together.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 06:34 AM
5

The court will be involved either way. I think what you're asking is how to do it without lawyers involved. If you two can agree on custody then child support (mom support) is a simple calculation based on incomes and who has whatever amount of overnights with the children.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 02:58 AM
2

Well, let's pray for a miscarriage.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 01:22 AM
1

And, then equestrian lessons the next day.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 11:19 PM
1

I've been through 10+ years of family court. If you set up the parenting plan correctly you do have some say.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 10:12 AM
2

No, it's not the norm. 50/50 means you have equal say on things.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 08:29 AM
2

Sounds like a good outcome. Good for you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:48 AM
6

If you are still married and there is no custody plan from a court then you can take your kids any time you wish. Not saying she'll make it easy. But, that's how it works.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:48 AM
9

Been there. It's a nightmare. You should have added in the parenting plan that any extracurricular expenses need to be jointly agreed upon. You're in for a long road.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:46 AM
1

Sold it at a gold and silver dealer for the value of the weight.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:44 AM
1

All good options. Those will be some of OP's best memories with his kids.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:44 AM
3

Get a PO Box.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 09:28 PM
1

I don't know how many times I've said it. But, I'll say it again for the readers. Do not get married while you're in the service. Seriously, you're not even together while serving so what is the point? You can have a "texting pal" without the legal complications of marriage and then when you get out you can pursue the relationship. I don't recommend marriage to begin with. But, the service keeps you apart and you have no way to build a deep relationship nor do you really know how "civilian life"…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 09:27 PM
7

Not if it's years before the divorce. If that was the case I could've offset my ex's settlement with all of the money she poured down a MLM scheme. It's a community debt just as the money was community property.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 11:51 AM
15

That's how it's done. Then, once you have enough for an ounce of gold bullion buy one. Easy to hide and store small coins. Take a trip to Vegas and accidentally lose $5k gambling.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 07:21 AM
20

So, she feels scorned and now wants to ruin his career. Pretty par for the course.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 09:07 AM
4

Guys gotta learn that these foreign women marry for money and a chance to get out of their shithole country. And, CA is the worst state to be in to play that game.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 03:34 AM
9

Anything you earn during a marriage is community property. So, that $134k/yr is as much hers as yours. You took the L by marrying her. Now, you're in damage control mode. Try to get an annulment.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 01:41 AM
22

The rule is that if you marry a foreigner you never bring them back to the US. You live there with them. It doesn't matter if you think you won't buy joint assets. All assets bought during marriage are community property. You won't like this. But, the safe thing to do (if you want to stay in the US) is don't sponsor her visa and divorce her now or get it annulled. You're about to become a statistic.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 12:12 AM
1

What are you looking to modify?
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 05:39 AM
2

Some lawyers actually care. I've had a couple. One was great with paperwork and the other was great with paperwork and relationship with the judge. Made all the difference. Find one that is on your state's Trial Board. PM me your location and I'll help.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 03:46 AM
9

Your marriage is over. Find a different lawyer if you aren't comfortable with the one you have. Keep the kids and do whatever you can to do so. It'll turn out well. Sit back. Breathe. Pretend you're in a football game and it's the 4th quarter. Plan and execute.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 11:09 PM
35

I started dating a few years after divorce (I had full custody for the first few years) and I met some great women. The common denominator with all of them? They cost money.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 09:18 PM
2

I had ROFR and I think it's a good thing. So, if a parent is going to be away for more than 24 or 48 hours you get the option to have them instead of a sitter or something. As far as sole decision making on medical I'd say "no way." Think about things like vaccines. Why in the hell did you let her school be tied to her address if you have 50/50?
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 05:01 AM
4

Exactly. Always happy to see you and content with the way things are. If only women could be more like them instead of always nagging and demanding this, that, more, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 04:07 AM
0

Dogs are like women. Easy to replace.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 03:22 AM
6

Well, it depends on how reasonable she'll be on the house. So, you have to take the figures. What you bought those for is x. What the value of it was when you got married* is y. So, the difference between x and y is yours off the top. The value of it now is z. So, the difference between y and z is what you split 50/50. Simple as that. If she goes for more then you have a problem.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 01:38 AM
2

My ex cut me up in 5 places by throwing a plate that broke at me. I called the cops and they did nothing to her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 12:22 AM
3

Plus, you could fuck the sheep of things got really tough.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 10:53 PM
2

I post this a lot. But, it's never enough. http://realworlddivorce.com/DomesticViolence
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 10:23 PM
3

Lucky you. Because, if she had she could get custody and you'd be paying her child support on a kid that isn't even hers.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 02:33 AM
3

Not unless she adopted the child legally.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 01:51 AM
2

You're fucked, bro. If she has a lawyer then you better retain one now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 11:21 PM
2

In hindsight I shouldn't have. But, I knew she couldn't afford it. You do a lot of things in a relationship to keep your woman happy and that usually involves money. This is why we say "all men pay." And, the pussy that is "free" is always the most expensive. Now,we had amazing sex very day. As good as any escort would give me. So, if I added up the thousand times we had sex and compared that to a live-in escort it was cheaper overall. Every morning before work I'd turn her on her stomach and gi…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 10:31 PM
1

Dumb love, brother. I made enough money to where it wasn't a big deal. But, on sheer principle I'll never do that shit again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 09:09 AM
5

Fortunately, the message has exploded over the past 5 years and they're getting it. One of my sons recently brought it up to me. So, even though I've talked to my sons they are now talking about it themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 05:32 AM
3

I was lucky. Both the women I seriously dated were good and kind women. They were just broke and always wanted to do things I didn't want to do. So, guess who footed the bill for all of that? You guessed it. Dude, I even went out with my ex to celebrate her parent's 30 year anniversary. Guess who paid? Me and her sister's husband (their son-in-law). Neither women, which are their actual children, paid a dime. That's simping.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:18 AM
8

Family court has jurisdiction over adherence to the provisions in the Decree.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:08 AM
9

You don't file a small claims court case. You pay the bills and then file a Motion for Satisfaction of Judgment in the same court as you received the divorce decree. You can also tell her that you'll file Contempt if she doesn't do it ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 03:58 AM
6

I never got married again, nor will I. But, I've had girlfriends. LTRs, etc. Same story. They all cost money and energy and, at this point in my life, it's just not worth it. My last LTR was 5 years long. And,it was another huge mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 12:32 AM
9

The spending of those finances.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 11:37 PM
12

My ex was overjoyed when I got promotions because that made me a "better provider." Her mom would always say to me, "you're such a good provider. Yeah, those days are done.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 10:34 PM
5

Open a new account and transfer 50% of all checking and savings into an account that only you have access to. If the judge asks why you did it just say she was intentionally being reckless with marital finances.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 04:47 AM
2

Depends what she spends it on. They can't divide up expensive vacation and hair/nail salon appointments.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 04:45 AM
12

Don't waste time or money on semantics. It's just another way of saying "irreconcilable differences." If she believes it's "irretrievably broken," and you don't, then that's just another area that you disagree on which makes it broken more. When women make up their minds to divorce there is no coming back. Love and respect has left the station. In your Answer you can say something like, "the marriage is not irretrievably broken if she's willing to apologize for her numerous infidelities." It's p…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 01:01 AM
5

Funny she gets military medical service though. Talking about dipping from both sides.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 12:45 AM
4

How does her owe her $800/month on a 2 year marriage and no kids? Does the Army have automatic alimony or something? Also, wouldn't the army have an infidelity clause?
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 11:23 PM
1

They also ensure you don't accidentally read messages by logging into iCloud.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 07:31 PM
3

It's very common for them to oppose anything and everything you want to do. The battle isn't over preschool. It's against you and the child is just a pawn in her battle.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 07:40 AM
25

You don't need to prove infidelity to divorce. Get out now before you have kids together. And, I'd stop sleeping with her immediately so you don't accidentally get her pregnant and get stuck with her for life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 06:37 AM
6

Let her go. My ex just dropped our kids off at my new house with all of their stuff and didn't show back up for a few years. Those were the best years I ever had with my kids. It was hard being a full-time single father with a full-time job, classes, court nonsense, etc. But, I made it work.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 03:21 AM
3

Not sure what kind of lawyer advises a man to give up custody.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 09:37 PM
8

I'm just advising you as I would do a close friend based upon my experience. Exes are unpredictable. Ex-wives can be downright brutal with jealousy and weaponize the court system. Read through this sub and our sub r/AgainstMatrimony.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 08:56 AM
8

It's not her. It's the power of the court behind her. Go ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 08:25 AM
3

Lots of things can happen. You could just piss her off.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 08:12 AM
7

Then keep it 100% professional.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 07:27 AM
39

Get off of social media and go dark. Radio silent.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 06:33 AM
3

Get out now.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 10:10 PM
2

At work redo your direct deposit form and set up a new bank account. Start sending 20% of your income to an account she doesn't have access to in order to curb her spending. She's spending because she's bored and it's a distraction for her. It's tough to say whether or not to stay until the kids are out of HS. If you hang in there you won't pay mom support (child support). But, if she's draining the bank too much per month it might be worth it. PM me for some ideas.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 09:42 PM
7

There is no need, ethically, if both parties can support the child on their time. But, the court wants money and actually gets paid by the federal government for every dollar in child support they collect. So, someone's going to pay something. It pays for the family court.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 09:35 PM
2

I always use Craigslist. But, I think FB Marketplace is the new spot to do it. Bottom line, set your price. Don't let people lowball you. You need some negotiation skills to get full value. In hindsight, I could've raised the price on him $500-$1k and still sold it to him. But, then you upset your buyer. You always want a win-win negotiation where everyone walks away happy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 09:32 PM
1

I always use Craigslist. But, I think FB Marketplace is the new spot to do it. Bottom line, set your price. Don't let people lowball you. You need some negotiation skills to get full value.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 09:29 PM
2

Don't use KBB right now. Used car values are high. I sold a car a couple years ago for $6500. KBB said it was worth $5200. I told the buyer that I didn't care what the book says. I know what I got. Part of this is negotiating. His wife wanted the car BAD and he made the mistake of telling me that. So, now I know that he's being pressured by his wife to get the car. I got my full asking price which was 20% over KBB value.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 09:22 PM
1

Are you upside down on the car? Do you owe more on it than it's worth? Used car prices are pretty high right now so you might be able to ditch that car and get something basic until the smoke clears in the divorce. Think of something like a 10 year old Honda Accord or Toyota Camry. Sure, you're not pulling bitches in that car. But, it's cheap, reliable, and gets the job done. In 3-5 years you can then reassess your situation and get a better car.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 08:01 PM
2

I had an agreed upon custody arrangement with my ex. The moment she saw my new girlfriend, and how much our kids liked her, she flipped a switch and went scorched earth. She felt scorned and was intimidated by my new girlfriend thinking she was going to be supplanted. Keep your dating life very private. No social media, no kid involvement, etc. Had I done this I could've saved myself, and my children, a second round of the war.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 07:56 PM
13

In your situation it doesn't sound like a prenup would be all that helpful since she earns the money and assets are in her name. You said she doesn't want to start a family with you. Would she give you full custody of your joint-child? If not, then 50/50 is the minimum you should strive for. Half of everything earned in the marriage is joint property. If she had her business prior to marriage then you should be entitled to a pro-rata portion on it based upon the earnings during the marriage. The…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 06:38 PM
5

By being married you already are.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 09:37 PM
10

She burned you. The money has left the train. Now you're in damage-control mode and the quicker you get it done with the better. Your questions won't matter to the court. File immediately and get it done as quick as possible. From there you can rebuild. Don't get married again. r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 11:03 PM
2

When you hire a lawyer they don't ask for all bank statements. That's provided in response to a Production for Documents Request in which bank statements are provided.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 03:52 PM
2

It's sucks and I've been through it. I know exactly what the divorce grinder is like. My was on the worst side of how it could go and both our attorneys said it was one of the worst they'd ever dealt with in their careers. Did your disclosures not include bank statements, investment accounts, etc? If they did then said "information previously provided." To ask for a copy of all checks is ridiculous as your bank statements have a record of all income. Expenses, charges, etc. It should take you an…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 01:56 AM
4

Women here who don't know the law and want every man to pay up the ass because, well, he's a man. Reverse the genders and they say, "ah, hell nah!"
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 01:17 AM
1

That's almost 2 years and is unreasonable. Just object to that individual question. If they don't like the objection they can file a a motion to Compel, you then file an Opposition to Motion to Compel, and then you guys set both motions for hearing before the judge to decide. If you've been married the judge may grant it in which you say that you need xyz time to produce. And, produce what you can and state that it was all you can find. Sometimes your bank statements have all of this along with …
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 01:17 AM
4

Typically inheritances are not marital property regardless if you're married or not.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 11:10 PM
1

I'd put in the parenting plan that support ends upon his 18th birthday. I'm not sure if the "graduation clause" applies to KS. But, that's what I'd lead with and see if she counters with high school. How much money per month here are we talking about.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 10:01 PM
3

Most states it ends at 18, or 19 if they haven't graduated HS. The latter part depends on their birthday and whether or not they started school late. I have to pay until they're all 19. Your son has already graduated since HS so you probably won't have to pay mom support on him.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 09:23 PM
2

It'll definitely affect the support you're ordered to give her in the temporary orders. If you rent a respectable apartment then they can only order you to send her the surplus in your budget left over. So, if you rent a room for $400 vs having an apartment for $1200, that's $800 less they can order you to send her. Immediately sent up your new life now and get established. Otherwise, you'll be stuck on a shoestring budget.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 05:15 PM
3

That's the tip. Don't let the ex know - especially if you have children. Go see a doctor about a benzo prescription like Klonopin to go through withdrawal and, keep your GABA receptors happy for a few days, and start eating well and working out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 10:47 AM
1

I understand that it's a separate process from the case. But, sometimes if you're being represented you have to funnel things through your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 10:07 AM
1

Does a client need to be pro se to file their own BAR complaint?
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 02:38 PM
5

I've had multiple texts and phone calls today. But, no leech in my bed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 12:06 AM
2

Of course anyone can file a complaint. But, the whole doctrine of family court is "best interests of the child." Weaponizing time with the children against the other parent flies in the face of that. This attorney is a complete idiot and no judge would tolerate that. false or misleading statements https://attorney-faq.com/what-are-considered-unethical-behavior-as-an-attorney
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 02:11 PM
1

You don't have much experience with the family court system then.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 12:55 PM
2

Cut off her family if they're beating you down emotionally. You'll move forward a lot faster that way.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 10:43 AM
1

This is part of the Fuck around and find out part of life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 10:12 AM
2

Plus, the SAHM won't even fuck you anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 09:18 PM
9

Her attorney is advising her client to weaponize child visitation. That's a fucking BAR complaint. If OP tells me the state I'll find the Rules of a civil Procedure that this violates.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 03:55 PM
3

Coercing his client to file a nonsense order/complaint because he's upset he lost a motion hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 03:43 PM
9

If this is true then file a complaint with the BAR. This is unethical behavior on her attorneys part.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 01:41 PM
16

It's valuable if you're married to someone who honors their vows. If she divorces you then you'll realize how overpriced that service was. You could've hired a full-time nanny for 1/10th what it'll cost you to divorce a SAHM. So, get a nanny and have a girlfriend instead of a SAHM.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 03:30 AM
19

Oh, I do. I take the downvotes.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 10:59 PM
28

SAHM is the most cushy and lucrative gig in the world.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 09:56 PM
3

I've found that marriage makes people complacent because they feel too secure in having you. If you're not married you know they can leave at any time so you work harder to please the other. This is especially true for women working to keep their husband happy. Most men continue helping around the house, going to work, etc. But, the wife's contribution dries up.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 05:03 PM
2

That's where I'm at now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 08:50 PM
3

This man never raped an employee. But, now he's following the Pence Rule and not getting accused of any impropriety. If your comment wasn't sarcastic then you should really use some common sense. He's playing defense like most guys I know are now.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 08:49 PM
2

Retain a lawyer and don't give her any more than she's legally entitled to. After you guys both lawyering up there will be less to go around now. Get minimum 50/50 custody and try to avoid alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 08:48 PM
2

They essentially are already divorced. They're just married on paper and he's tied to her reckless financial behavior. So, severing that tie would essentially be continuing as he is with also mitigating his financial exposure to her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 07:35 PM
5

It's over now. But, that one little good gesture I made in good faith caused me, and our children, a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 04:32 PM
13

There's no harm with sharing photos. But, be careful if you have a new girlfriend. I made the mistake of sharing of photo of me, my kids, and my new girlfriend all having a blast together outdoors. My ex-wife immediately became very jealous and "mama bear" mode feeling like my girlfriend was a threat. So, she kicked up another 3-4 years of ongoing custody disputes in court.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 04:12 PM
2

My last boss actually rearranged the furniture in his office and now always leaves the door open when he has women in there. With men he'll still shut the door and have private conversations. Opportunity is now passing up women at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 07:45 AM
1

Step-parents after a divorce are usually forgotten.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 10:27 PM
1

Imagine them all just walking out, forgetting him, yet he still has to pay.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 10:04 PM
2

Divorce can be easy or brutal. It all depends on the willingness of parents to put their emotions aside for their kids. My divorce was a brutal 10 year shit show of court hearings due to her ever-changing mind and behavior. My ex-girlfriend's divorce was pretty easy and they coparent very well together, are still friends, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 08:24 PM
2

I considered this during my divorce. In the end it was a bad idea and I didn't go through with it. She'll be putting secret cameras in there and spying on you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 07:42 PM
2

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2019/09/05/the-latest-consequence-of-metoo-not-hiring-women/?sh=60addffe280b
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 07:30 PM
3

This is the old "cheaper to keep her" dilemma. As a divorced man I can tell you the hardest part was losing daily access to my children. I've had every type of custody arrangement. When we initially separated I was able to get full physical custody because she was unable to provide for them. Those were some of the best years of my life. Then we did 50/50 and she undermined and abused the situation at every step. Then I had to go to EOW due to more bullshit she pulled. Fortunately, I've preserved…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 07:09 PM
6

Yeah. Women really screwed themselves with the MeToo thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 06:46 PM
21

Anything to keep the courts, lawyers, and child support paid. r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 05:32 PM
4

Look. I'm sorry you're going through this. But, I'm not going to entertain someone who shows me disrespect when I've done nothing to deserve it. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 05:26 PM
3

That's a bad long-term strategy and it's poor advice. Just because you're getting fucked, which it sounds like you are, doesn't mean others should do the same. Is there some connection she has to the new place (friends, family, job, new lover, etc)?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 04:49 PM
0

There's a reason for the narrative. Men have lived through it. I have, myself. Every time I've been in a relationship it has always decreased my life quality. Sure. There are good times. But, when it ends the bad that comes with it is brutal. r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 03:07 AM
6

Do you at least have a relationship with her still?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 02:43 AM
4

I know this won't help. But, dude, you took the L by adopting her child and now having pay child support on it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 12:46 AM
2

Okay. "As per their custom" means you keep funding it. She is not so you need to file a Motion for Contempt against her for not doing that. Push your lawyer to do this. Judges don't like contempt hearings. They also don't like being ignored when they rule. File the Motion for Contempt. Set a precedent early. In your Motion ask for RELIEF of the moneys she has taken out, and also not contributed.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 07:33 PM
1

Does the order require you to continue to fund the joint account? Or, does it just say parties can continue using it? Legalese is very precise. Read it precisely.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 07:05 PM
11

Dreams mean nothing. A few months ago I got a hard on sleeping erection and was dreaming that I was banging my ex wife of 10 years, that I despise, and woke up thinking wtf? The brain is a complex organ and retains memories and thoughts. Don't put any weight behind it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 01:28 PM
1

Plus, she'll spend that college money way before they go.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 10:43 AM
2

Depending on your state, college funding is ridiculous. It's not a thing in my state. The children will be adults at that point. Get an attorney and don't agree to ANYTHING she shows you or tells you. Divorce is devastation for all. Kids included. But, MA I think allows CS up to age 26 which is a fucking joke. You need an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 10:42 AM
6

Stop putting your checks into it immediately. Set up a new account and deposit them there. You're not breaking the order as long as the joint account is there. You can easily explain to the judge that she stopped contributing to the joint account so you just followed suit.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 08:36 AM
1

Go after it all.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 02:27 PM
-5

Every point he made was an imbalance in dating requirements that heavily favored women. Even divorce favors women as they typically keep their life intact (get the house, kids, and husband's paycheck) hike the man's life is left in ruins as he loses everything he's worked for.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 12:51 PM
3

The incentive to date as a man is loneliness, desperation, and lack of a fulfilling social life. Oh yeah, burning testosterone when you're young. Fortunately, that becomes less of a factor in your mid 30s. Also, young men, today, have lower T counts than 20-30 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 12:50 PM
0

You think dating sucks for men? Try marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 12:47 PM
5

Good luck, man. One thing I learned is no matter how shitty the mother is the kids will usually still choose them. Its biological and mothers are master at manipulating their kids.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 05:07 AM
2

Her becoming homeless after the false allegations forced her to give me full custody because she didn't have a roof over her head other than the randos she would shack up with for a few weeks, to months, at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 02:12 AM
3

If a woman gets me arrested with a false DV charge she's getting nothing but my wrath. My ex also ended up as a hobosexual after getting me kicked out on false allegations.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 01:42 AM
1

File a Notice of Release of Liability on that car with the DMV.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 01:35 AM
2

As long as the drain plug isn't stripped or something it should be fine. Look for where you pored in the new oil. Sometimes something as simple as filling the funnel too quickly can cause overflow down the block. My truck had this happen after a drive-thru quick lube place. Firestone tried to tell me I needed a new rack and pinion. Well, I'm not that stupid and after further investigation it was just oil that dripped done the side.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 08:43 AM
2

Just always be there for them as much as you can. Continue to love them and avoid as much conflict with the ex as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 08:40 AM
2

It's not like changing the oil is a complicated task. Unscrew the drain plug, catch the oil, removed and replace the filter, and refill.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 07:58 AM
7

She's also taking it out on the kids which sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 07:55 AM
2

She's manipulating you and doing the typical female taunting. Just tune her out. Start deconstructing your lives.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 12:26 AM
5

Don't get married again. r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 04:08 AM
1

I've had group sex before. It's not a big deal. Just swap the chicks back and forth.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 10:10 PM
1

File a motion to continue. Put it out 30 days. You don't have a lawyer so he's trying to railroad you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 02:46 PM
4

Sounds like you had a great night to me. Invite me along next time and we'll tool these chicks.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 08:38 AM
2

As long as you love your son, he knows you love him, and can explain to him why you mentioned it (if his mom starts berating him over it) then you'll be fine. If anything he'll see what a lying and manipulative mother he has.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 04:14 AM
9

No question. This is emotional abuse and parental alienation.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 04:12 AM
2

Start funneling your paychecks into a new and separate account so she can't spend it. Make sure she's paying her share of the bills so you aren't carrying the full load. Tell her you need to save for safe transportation. Whether or not she's on the house you might be able to demonstrate to the court that you paid for it and allowed her on due to duress. In a divorce she'll be liable financially through the court. You might still owe the bank alone. But, the court can divide assets from her to yo…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 05:48 AM
1

Goddamn, boy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 08:39 PM
1

Home is where you make it. It's no different than living in a RV or travel trailer... which is just a mobile home always ready to move.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 11:44 AM
3

File a Motion for Contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 02:52 AM
3

I agree with this. Judges are usually old and don't understand nomadic living. It isn't homelessness. His home just has wheels. The kid is doing things that most people never get to do. But, like you said, it's a fairly new trend and judges likely don't get it and will probably side with the mother if there's no compelling reason why they shouldn't. OP is in a difficult spot. Maybe get the divorce finalized to minimize the effect of it on him further down the road. But, offer to share the reside…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 11:16 PM
1

My ex was great before we got married and had kids. Then it turned into boring marital starfish missionary 1x a week (if I was lucky). My last LTR was completely different. We had great sex, pornstar kind of sex, for years.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 11:07 PM
6

Tell her to foot the bill for vacation and you're all in. If she says no then you know that she sees you as her meal ticket.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 04:18 AM
9

Same here. 40s and really couldn't give fuck all for the work,effort, expense, and hassle of dating. All of the work always falls on me and all of the reward always falls on them. After divorce I decided to get up to bat again and start dating. Dated a bunch of women, had a LTR, etc. But, it was just the same old BS. Me paying for most things and being dragged around to everything she wanted to do. The few times I had something I wanted to do together she wouldn't do it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 02:08 AM
5

Unless you like being last place.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 01:14 AM
9

Let the wife go. Don't let your child go. Do not distance yourself from your child. That is a regret you will never live down.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 06:27 AM
1

What's your question?
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 06:01 AM
4

Welcome to the shit storm. I went through that for 10 years. One time my ex just decided at the last minute to leave town on vacation for a week and said she was just going to drop our kids off, unsupervised, at 8am at the local Y. I am supposed to pick them up at 5:15pm after work. So, she was prepared to just dump them at the Y and leave them to their own devices for an entire fucking day.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 04:46 AM
1

Good lord. You are about to get wrecked. See a lawyer and make sure you get minimum 50/50 custody. Not just because of money but because your kids are only young once.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 04:06 AM
4

A lawyer won't tell you to do this because it's borderline unethical. But, if you accuse me of false allegations and get me thrown out then I'm going to be a bit unethical. Unethical isn't illegal.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 07:44 PM
2

I'm in the US.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 07:27 PM
7

For temp orders they can only order you to give the other spouse the leftover in your budget. They can't make you default on your lease and become homeless. At least where I live.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 06:35 PM
10

No alimony. I was primary breadwinner so when she got the state to boot me from the house over a false allegation I rented an expensive condo. This gobbled up my income and made sure the court had nothing to give her with temp orders. She got evicted and had no choice but to give me the kids. I would have preferred a cordial divorce. But, she went dirty so I did, too. No regrets. Best 3 years I ever had with my kids was when they were young and she was a non-factor in our lives.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 05:36 PM
1

Exactly. Her tears dry up as soon as the checks start rolling in. Every time.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 05:31 PM
10

When I got kicked out due to false allegations I knew the papers were coming. So, I rented a super sweet condo, in an expensive part of town, which limited the leftover money from my budget the court could force me to give her. She ended up evicted and I got primary custody of the kids. Best move ever. Don't have any, or not much, leftover cash for the court to split. If you have to move out then max your living budget.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 05:23 PM
0

Well, based upon your tone I'm not you "Bud." Just try to help OP.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 06:35 AM
1

No, he's offering to pay the mortgage, bills, etc, and keep her house running at his own expense.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 06:26 AM
2

And she is now his adversary in an adversarial court proceeding where she tries to transfer wealth from him to her... with the kids being her leverage and excuse.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 06:02 AM
2

He's asking advice on feeling, not law. An attorney will tell him what the law says. We tell him how women play men.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 06:00 AM
3

Not a damn thing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 05:59 AM
18

Yes, you're being a sucker and an idiot for her tears. Most men do and I did, too. Don't do it. Tell her you'll assume the house and kids and she can get an apartment. Otherwise, force the sale of the house, split the equity, and you both move on. DO NOT fall into the crocodile tears trap. In 6 months she'll be on her feet and looking to grab more from you and she won't stop. Your good gestures today will mean nothing when she doesn't need you anymore. Look at the situation already. Goddamn.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 05:59 AM
2

Even in my LTR sometimes I wouldn't be in the mood and she was. She'd fondle me to get me hard and sometimes it just wouldn't work so I'd tell her to fluff me a bit (blow me).
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 03:04 PM
3

Happened to me and, yes, you always walk into court with the air of aBuSeR hanging over you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 02:09 AM
1

Exactly he should have his attorney get an order for a QDRO and get that money so he can set himself and kids up better.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 02:06 AM
8

I didn't read your long story. But, your title said enough. All relationships are conditional and transactional. Stop giving her what she needs and she's gone. Men aren't as quick to pull the trigger as women are. Not by a long shot. This is why men get blindsided.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 04:36 AM
3

Temporary orders can be different. Usually the final parenting plan does make all that bullshit in addition to child support. This is why so many guys end up with a few roommates or some shitty apartment while their ex lives large.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 09:29 AM
3

They really have no limits on how hard they'll screw you as long as they get some benefit from it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 08:58 AM
3

It's not a "residence." But, usually changing schools or care providers requires both parties. I can't believe you ex is so selfish that she'd upset your son through that change so she can save 10 minutes of driving. Oh,wait. Yes. Yes, I can. I bet it's cheaper, too, and she's pocketing the difference from the child support (mom support). That's more party money for her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 08:54 AM
13

You: Do, do, do, do, do, so, do, spend, do, do, do. What does she do? Her: Take, accept, take, take, receive,take, accept, receive, take, take, take.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 08:51 AM
8

She moves out, wants a practical divorce (but not a legal one so she can keep you as a benefactor), is living with another guy (yes, he's her AP) who she's leaning on for emotion support, and just wants you for money's sake. Don't for a second think she isn't sleeping with him. Decide if you want to be used and taken advantage of or not. She has moved on and you are stuck in the past. You won't be able to move on, like she has, until you get divorced and start heading in your own direction. She …
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 08:47 AM
3

I had a serious LTR after my divorce. But, the mistake I made was not waiting until the divorce drama was over. The problem was that the drama went on for over 10 years so I really had no choice. Yes, it was much better. But, after that last relationship I don't think I'll ever get into any kind of relationship where I have to answer or be accountable to a woman again. I'm much happier on my own. It's predictable and nothing to fuss about. I'm glad things are working out for you. You're still ea…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 08:39 AM
1

More than that based on the income disparity. Probably closer to 75-80%.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 09:03 PM
1

Reagan is the one who signed no-fault divorce into law.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 12:56 PM
2

Dude, tell me about it. I had full custody, a full time job, and attended classes for 2-3 years immediately after my divorce. Getting into the best shape of my life, eating super clean, and not drinking alcohol are what powered me through it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 05:36 AM
2

Well, the more custody you get the more child support you get. It's rare for a man to be the recipient of CS. Either way, you have to decide to maintain the status quo and just do fun stuff with your kids on the weekends instead of dating. Or, find a woman who does shift work, like a nurse, if dating is important. IMO, you shouldn't be messing with women right now anyway. You're still in mediation! There's plenty of stuff to do on the weekdays after work.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 05:35 AM
6

Right now just pour that energy into your child when you have him/her. Emotions like that are normal, healthy, and understandable.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 02:59 AM
4

You won't have a social life like that. You need some weekends off. Looks like ex-wifey needs a different schedule or job. Either that, or petition for full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 02:57 AM
2

The government is their true husband.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 07:31 PM
1

If the kids are young they won't know what it is. Alternatively, you can put up a couple of small cameras in the living areas of the home.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 08:25 AM
3

They'll never walk away from free cash and prizes at the courthouse.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 07:31 AM
8

Lawyer up and use your video evidence. Buy a bodycam on Amazon and wear it when you're around your ex and also when around the kids so you can record the things they are saying. Be sure to mention her painkilller addiction and let the court know you don't feel the kids are safe with her alone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 04:43 AM
2

10 years? Try 3.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 03:05 AM
3

Dud, your receipts mean shit during a marriage. She will file for child support whether it's in a month or two years. You're already broke, no car, living with your parents, and admittedly bad with money. Now, imagine half of the money you start making to rebuild your life going to her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 01:36 AM
6

It'll be "amicable" as long as he continues to give her everything he possibly can. I definitely wouldn't settle for less than 50/50 custody.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 01:35 AM
2

She'll want more money. Guaranteed. They always want more money.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 01:32 AM
2

Yeah, probably freedom to cheat and be a c*nt.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 01:28 AM
2

Yeah, buy a body cam on Amazon and wear it any time you need to go near a woman like this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 05:39 AM
91

All else aside, never date a woman who can't smile in her pics. Why would you want a woman that's "hard?"
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen28/11/22 05:35 AM
7

Yep. It's a federal felony. So, I wouldn't be risking 5 years in federal prison and a forever felony conviction on my record.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 04:25 AM
30

Turn her ass in. She committed forgery with a federal government agency. You were married to her so any consequences from your marriage years could potentially come back to bite you in the ass. This isn't as much about getting her in trouble as it is protecting your future. https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/innocent-spouse-relief
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 03:34 AM
1

Just take your passion stuff and have a friend, who she doesn't know, hold onto it. Like you said, if she makes a fuss then you can negotiate it with the stuff you leave behind. Regarding the stock, get it evaluated and offer her cash value, or trade, for some other stuff. I know a guy that did this. It shouldn't be hard to get the stock value today, split it in half, and offset it with something else even if it's a personal loan if you don't have the money sitting around.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 01:45 AM
2

Keep the 3.2% and just work hard to pay that HELOC off as fast as possible. $25 is less than a car today so you should be able to tackle it and wipe it out in <5yrs.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 01:44 PM
0

Depending on the value of the existing mortgage, refinancing right now would greatly increase the cost to you. If you can get a 3.2% HELOC that might be the way to go. Sorry, just noticed 3.2% is your mortgage. What would the HELOC be? How big would it be and how fast could you pay it off? Is there another way to offset her equity such as non-retirement savings?
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 11:53 AM
9

Hey, everyone gets tipped in different ways.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/11/22 10:23 AM
1

Then try to reach a quick agreement. Assume she knows everything you do, if not more, and she's going to do all she can to transfer kidney from you to her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 01:08 AM
2

We've all been through it. I did it with no knowledge or support. You're getting both of those. I was blind and caught off guard. You're not. Here's a way to delay the child support for the minor child. Delay until they're 18. So, when she responds tell your attorney to use the full 30 days (or whatever is allowed) to respond. Them, when that happens file a motion that puts it out another 20-30:days. Then, file discovery. That'll take her 30:days to do. After that, file interrogatories. There's …
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 06:20 AM
6

She kept you as long as she needed to (not wanted to). You were the piggy bank. Time to let her break it, grab some pennies,mane both be on your ways so you can rebuild. She has no appreciation for the steadiness and support you gave her, as an adult, to reach her higher degree. She has what she wants so your past contributions now mean nothing to her.this is typical and to be expected. If you trust your attorneys, and have faith in them, then file ASAP, and get the process rolling. Any begging …
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 05:53 AM
2

Wel, dont put yourself into that situation with your next breakup. Get the snip. Kids make it a lot harder to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 03:34 AM
3

Change jobs within 6 months of divorce filing and you should be good. Being closer to home will mean easier coparenting if you have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 02:45 AM
1

Well, imagine how messy this divorce would be if you had kids together. Just something to think about.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 01:10 AM
1

You can get them either way. It's never 100% guaranteed on the reversal. How old are you? Do you not have kids yet?
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 10:57 PM
1

She's trying to screw you over which is to be expected. You had a deal and now she's trying to siphon off more from you. Suggest you each keep your own retirement, sell the house and split the equity, divide assets and physical property however you see fit (least important thing here), and you both move on. Tell her to take that deal or instead you can each spend $50k on lawyers arguing over it and then the lawyers end up with all of the money. Choose.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 10:46 PM
8

Very typical. She needs to paint you as the villain to bolster her social rep as the victim so she gets sympathy from everyone at your expense. Most guys lose a ton of friends they had while married and the woman keeps them for this reason.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 09:34 PM
31

No marriage and no cohabitation. Keep it casual. Use protection and by no means get them pregnant. After the first date or two make sure they reciprocate on costs. Not all women will fuck you over. But, all women CAN fuck you over. Just keep that in mind.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 07:04 AM
2

How old is your son? There's always help available. When my kids were young my next door neighbor watched them while I was at work. If you don't know your neighbors, or don't trust them,muteness you can hire a nanny who's in college and looking to make some money. Make sure you get her though. You'd want to install hidden nanny cams to be sure.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 04:34 AM
5

Yeah, I get it. I had false allegations lobbed against me, too. She ended up getting evicted because I made some quick money decisions which minimized how much the court could order me to pay her. Essentially, I immediately rented a nice condo that didn't leave much left in the budget to take from me while we were in divorce proceedings. So, one night she just dropped them all off to me with their stuff and then I barely saw her for a few years. During this time I was also dealing with the false…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 01:24 AM
5

Do you have an attorney? With all of this going on you should at least have 50/50, and possibly full custody, if your attorney is worth half of what you're paying for him. Do you own or rent the house she is in? Are there any orders from the court on support?
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 12:37 AM
7

You can ditch the booze and still be there with your son. Trust me. Alcohol is a bad coping method. Speaking from experience here. Why is she so hostile to you?
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 12:34 AM
2

Any you don't want to, really. If you choose not to answer specific questions that are non-financial or relative to the divorce all they can do is file a Motion to Compel and then you can argue to the judge why such info is irrelevant. Hat kind of questions are they asking that you don't want to answer?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 10:37 PM
3

Yes, I have a lot of experience with every custody arrangement (full-time with me, 50/50, and then EOW). I would highly suggest, especially with the ages that they are, that you aim for NO LESS than 50/50. You can still pursue your own separate life on the weeks that you don't have them. That's what I did. I ended up dating other women who had 50/50 with their kids and we coordinated our "non-custodial weeks" so that we could be together during those. But, for the love of god, I would not become…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 10:32 PM
2

Looks like you should be arguing for full custody based on parental, abandonment of your minor daughter. Also, the bills should be divided up. What's the house situation? Equity? Do you plan on staying in it? What are the other financial assets like retirement/savings like?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 09:33 PM
2

I think we've all gone through those days. Hopefully your boss is understanding. I had days at work when a load of bad news came in and I got up and just walked out without saying anything to anyone. I had to explain the next day to my boss and he was cool about it. Just told me to communicate next time. Hang in there. You're dealing with the early phases of grief. It'll get easier.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 08:31 PM
2

Just gotta slog through it and try and get the best outcome possible.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 12:24 AM
0

Man... look at the simp.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 06:46 AM
16

I varies from person to person. I was over my ex within months. What kept me pulled in were our kids. Had we not had kids I wouldn't have stayed as long as I had. Just remember. She's not yours. It was just your turn.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 04:23 AM
31

Any smart attorney will tell you to not say anything to her at all. At this point she isn't your wife. She's your legal adversary and, just like with the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 03:35 AM
6

I don't have any advice other than to reach out to family or friends. You're in the divorce grinder which means if you have a penis you're almost guaranteed to lose.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 03:03 AM
2

Yeah. You can always make more money. My divorce left me broke. But, I had an established professional career and she had nothing. She was able to build a life for herself off of the back of my child support though. She actually was "destitute" according to her court filings. Yet, within 2 months of my fat child support check coming in she went and bought a new luxury car with it. This is why I'm against child support the way it's set up now. It's really mom support. I have no problem caring and…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 01:29 AM
4

Depends on how much money we're talking about. $25k? I wouldn't worry about it. $250k? I'd worry about it. Money is the vehicle for starting his new life.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 01:05 AM
7

The world doesn't revolve around women, brother. Get out and do something.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 12:46 AM
3

Yeah, instead start squirreling away your own money.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 12:46 AM
6

Because the marital funds are also his... as his are hers.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 12:45 AM
7

This is why men need to stop rolling over.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 11:15 AM
6

Every day is men's day when you're single!
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 05:47 AM
9

My last girlfriend understood because she was with me 10 years after my divorce and still saw the hell I was going through in court. Never pressured me for marriage. If she understands and stays then she's a keeper.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 05:15 AM
18

Congrats, man! Don't get married and risk it again!
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 04:50 AM
9

And she's rich. I hate these stories where men give everything away just to find a bit of peace. Sorry man.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 03:33 AM
7

Turn off driving mode on your iPhone. Buy a bodycam on Amazon and wear it whenever you're home. Avoid her as much as possible and do not engage in any discussion. Sleep on the couch to avoid confrontation. Alert the police that she's trying to set you up. If you're in a room and she comes into it then avoid her. She might try to hit herself to cause a mark and blame you.this is where the bodycam comes into play.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 03:31 AM
3

It's getting that way. Some places in Asia and Latin America aren't there yet.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 03:18 AM
10

As the one who did 90% of transportation this was a huge expense, in time and money for me, while she got to sit on her ass and just wait for me to show up. She moved 3x, and I didn't move once, and I always had to drive around to wherever she decided to go. It was a constant pain in the ass and something that made me despise my ex more and more.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 12:03 AM
2

Yeah, if you have an attorney of record on file then they can proceed and your attorney would have to try to continue the action due to your absence. Easier just to avoid that fight by not getting served in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 11:13 PM
4

In your situation I would ghost her and just leave on your trip. You shouldn't* lose any rights. Message her once you're there and tell her you fully intend to work with her on the divorce upon your return. You'll want a lawyer though if she has one. Also, don't retain an attorney until you get back because once your attorney files a Notice of Appearance she can serve you via your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 10:39 PM
1

Yeah, I have a gag for her alright.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 10:25 PM
5

The thing is, in relationships women exercise power by nagging the holy fuck out of you until you're so sick of hearing their mouth you eventually give in just to shut them up. Sound familiar?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 08:09 PM
3

So, for a country that still uses an antiquated arranged marriage system you still get fucked with modern feminism. Man, they got their cake and eat it, too, out there. You should never get married in India either is the message here.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 08:07 PM
2

In hindsight, on paper, no it was not worth it. But, I'm a stubborn SOB and I don't capitulate to terrorists. It was the principle of the matter for me. That's just how I'm wired.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 03:25 PM
2

I understand what you're saying and your thought process. I just don't capitulate to terrorists. And, yes, I ended up going to trial.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 03:04 PM
4

"Leaves with with nothing ... but, I'll recover." Why do men always play "Mr. Nice Guy" and give away the farm when women never do? Men need to stop doing this especially since the odds are that you created the wealth in the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 12:29 PM
6

After my divorce I didn't date for years. Finally decided to give it a go again. Went through a bunch of women casually and then fell into a LTR. Although it was fun it was also shitty at the same time because most relationships are at least 50% shitty. So, at this point I've just decided to not get serious with women. If I meet one and we vibe then, sure, I'll hang out and keep it casual. But, I don't think I'll ever do a "relationship" where I have to answer to a woman ever again. Single hood …
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 12:27 PM
1

What are divorce laws like for men in India?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 12:14 PM
7

Women can justify lying for any reason whatsoever. Maybe she doesn't want you telling people she's a cheater - so, she wants to preserve her reputation.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 12:12 PM
3

Get a used ATV with a snow plow attached. My company used to pay $800 to a guy to come clear our driveway. Took him about an hour.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 09:31 AM
10

If it's warm where you live then mow, trim, and edge lawns. If it's cold then shovel snow. Easy to find work. But, it is hard work.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 03:10 AM
3

In the good old days they could. But, back in those days wives were actually wives. Now they are fair-weather housemates biding time for their payout.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 04:44 PM
1

File a Motion for Psychological Screening.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 12:58 PM
4

You need to file a Petition for Divorce and then a motions for TRO on property and children (if any). That's the only way to keep her spending the money. If she does spend the money then you'll find out later once you file and this could help you in the asset split.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 12:50 PM
2

Agreed. Just understand their nature. For example, if I leave my food unattended my dog will still go eat it when I'm not looking. Do I hate my dog for it? No. I just understand he's a dog. If he shits on the floor do I hate him? No. He's a dog and doesn't know how to use the toilet or maybe I didn't notice he needed to go out in time. With women it's all about risk-management.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 12:45 PM
1

Thing is that NAWALT. But,mall women CAN be like that if you pass them off. They all have the tools and capability to be that kind of woman.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 12:42 PM
1

You need to get copies of her savings info. Unfortunately, you need to file a lawsuit unless you can get access in other ways. Do you guys share a main computer in the house?
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 12:40 PM
4

Agreed. Never give her the precedent of full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 03:09 AM
2

In hindsight I could've upended their status-quo. But, at the time I didn't have the heart, at their age, to make them do a 3rd change within 3 months. Now I know I absolutely should have and my attorney said I had the right to do so. But, like most guys, I played the nice guy because I love my kids. That one simple act of "nice guy" by me probably cost me 6-7 years (if you count days lost with them) of parenting time with them as minors. GUYS! NEVER PLAY MR. NICE GUY. SHE WILL NEVER PLAY MRS. N…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 01:51 AM
6

My ex was a devout "born again Christian" who went on foreign missions and ended up cheating! We're brothers!
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 01:48 AM
1

In my cases if one parent has no parenting time then they pay a lot of child support.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 01:18 AM
3

It's based on overnight stays and incomes. My point was, legally, the money belongs to the child so the court doesn't allow you (typically) to do away with it. This is why mom's want full custody. It's for the $$$. But, I did allow my ex to not pay me any support as part of our agreement that she give me full custody. Big mistake. I was getting full custody anyway and should've gotten every penny possible from her like she did to me (and currently still is 13 years later).
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 01:14 AM
2

No. She violated the parenting plan in a different devious way which made it impossible for me to juggle my job and their school at the same time. She was held in criminal contempt for it though. But, didn't matter. Damage was done. That was the most pivotal point in my time with my kids. I never should given her any custody whatsoever.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 01:12 AM
5

Congrats to her. I had full custody and NEVER should have given her 50/50. She became the typical baby momma terrorist afterwards. I had it made with full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 12:22 AM
2

Yes, you can get a reevaluation in my state if there's a 15% change in income. So, you got a 10% raise and she got a 5% pay cut could change the support,etc. otherwise, you can get an automatic review every few years. Child support is what keeps the courts busy. Also, I resonate with your buddy. When I was a 19 yo I rented a room with 3 other guys, The guy who actually rented the 4 bedroom house was divorce graped* and so he had to rent out a big house and then sublet the rooms to me and 2 other…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 11:56 PM
4

You can negotiate away child support entirely. But, it needs to go before a judge. I did it for my ex as one of her conditions for giving me full custody. She just didn't want to pay CS. We went before the judge, I told her I didn't need or want it, and he approved it. But, when she came back and I gave her 50/50 without a fight she certainly wanted every dime she could get from me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 11:55 PM
15

You can't make a deal on child support as part of the settlement. My feeling is you'll regret it later unless you don't have much equity. Women play the long game of grinding you down while men want to be the nice guys and get it over with. More men need to start fighting back and stop making divorce so easy and profitable for women. Make it so she'll never want another one and so she tells all her friends how horrible it was. Remember, it's only going to be as horrible as she makes it. She can …
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 11:08 PM
4

He already did. She died about a year later. They were in their 90s.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 10:23 PM
11

The only marriages I've seen that last a lifetime are LDS/Mormons. But, trust me, they are far from happy despite their outward appearances. I have a neighbor Mormon couple and in the summer they leave the windows open, as do I, and I hear her scream at that poor dude almost every day. He never responds. He just goes about his business and deals with it because divorce in the LDS church is a HUGE no-no.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 09:15 PM
3

Tell the doctors or nurse about this and see if they can make sure you have some alone time with your son in the room.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 06:38 PM
18

It took me a few years. Then I had then lining up and that was a fun phase. It was like my 20s again and dating apps make it super easy if you're attractive, fit,and have your life together. But, it definitely took a few years before I was ready. So, just follow your own timeline. Remember this. All women cost money and all men pay. So, the longer you stay out of the game the more money you save.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 05:13 PM
1

I like it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 07:55 AM
1

Depends on your strategy. Whatever you do, if you provide any info make sure it's not demonstrably false. Be very ambiguous. If there are 15 details about a situation include 1 semi-Important one and two that are rather inconsequential. Essentially, make them go on a big fishing expedition. Obviously, don't do this if you have an attorney otherwise your attorney will be billing you, too. Also, drag it out. So, make your first response something like; To Whom It May Concern: Please note that I am…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 07:52 AM
1

If you don't mind providing the info send it to her broken up in like 10 emails all 3 days apart. That'll rack up your ex's bill and maybe she'll stop. That's the benefit of representing yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 07:06 AM
2

You aren't obligated to respond to that. That's an interrogatory and for you to be compelled to respond it would have to be filed with the court.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 07:05 AM
1

Do any of her letter have any legal significance? If they're just dumb letters relating to nothing (meaning, they are motions, petitions, or new complaints) you might just be able to ignore them. In which case getting rid of your attorney means she'll send them to you and only she incurs money. But, if she ends up sending something that requires some kind of response by a certain date then you could have an attorney address that one.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 06:18 AM
2

What's the "bad conduct?" There has to be a legal reason for an award of attorney fees.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 01:04 AM
1

Quit claims only removes your rights to the house, not the obligations of the mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 01:26 AM
2

I'm prepared, personally, to look like the biggest ass in the world if it keeps me out of DV court, divorce court, child support court, and the men's shelter.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 01:15 AM
2

And all her friends will complain that he got half.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 10:57 PM
20

Tell me about it. Every time I've painted a wall (with perfectly good paint), remodeled a kitchen or bathroom, (which had perfectly fine cabinets, flooring, appliances, etc)l updated perfectly working furniture, etc, it's been due to a woman I was in a relationship with. Their desire to continually spend your money is unparalleled. A guy can get buy in 12' trailer and pickup truck. This is also one of the main reasons they push men to marry. Without men marrying home improvement stores, furnitur…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 09:31 AM
10

10+ years and counting and still a child support slave. It should fall off after next year and then I need to radically reduce my life expenses even more and save like a madman for the next 15 years. I was lucky to have a good career and bought real estate at the right time though. Either way, you're fucked for a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 08:32 AM
3

These are attorney questions because you could find yourself on the wrong side of fraud charges.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 08:12 AM
42

Add this to the list of the millions before you, man. Myself, included. Not only do they not have to do shot in the marriage, they also get to leave with everything afterwards. Marriage is a suckers game for men.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 08:09 AM
2

Not worth the animosity removing her from shared accounts will cause. It's costs you NOTHING to keep her on and removing her could spite her enough to cost you a LOT. Don't be petty and only fight over things worth fighting for. Yeas, you're entitled half of her pension and savings if it was acquired during the marriage. Do NOT walk away from this to be "the nice guy." She would never walk away from it to be "the nice girl." Talk to your lawyers. She may be able to pay buy you out of those house…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 08:05 AM
6

Non-payment of ordered child support isn't grounds for withholding parenting time. This isn't a problem if she currently doesn't have a custody/visitation order. But, withholding telephone communication can reflect poorly on the custodial parent since it's usually perceived as a act of vindictiveness to hurt the other parent even though, usually, it's hurts the child, too. I'm so glad my divorce is over and my kids are grown. See them less now because they're adults pursuing their own lives. But…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 03:23 AM
2

Significant change in circumstances be all sorts of things. For example, you may have been too distraught during the divorce to feel as though you could be a competent parent. It could be a non location-relocation. It could be the age of the child has changed and the child now wants more time with his father and is able to express that. But, I'll tell you this, save that note where she said she's holding more time with you son over your head for favors in return. That's "quid pro quo" treatment …
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 03:20 AM
1

Accept the papers. They are usually filed in 24-72 hours. As long as her terms aren't unreasonable then have YOUR LAWYER review and agree.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 04:58 AM
2

If a woman is in my bed, and then turns her back to me, that's an invitation.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 01:19 AM
10

If it works for you guys amicably then that's a good thing. Situations like this can easily turn into false allegations.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 12:47 AM
3

He didn't mention anything about proving sepAration. My state has no separation requirement. I guess I just took his post at face value. But, you bring up a good point for those that live in a separation state.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 12:46 AM
28

If you do stay in the house then I'd put her on the couch. If she refuses just go lay down and sleep in bed next to her. If she can't tolerate your presence she'll voluntarily leave for the couch. Assert dominance. Install some security cameras, too
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 10:52 PM
1

Just say you didn't want to harm her reputation unnecessarily... which is probably true. Let me add this edit. I haven't always behaved in the best ways during arguments either. I'm sure we all sort of let the primal human out during moments like that. So, indeed, use caution doing it. Consider the cost-benefit. Meaning, it might get them off your back but now your ex might be unemployed.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 10:38 PM
2

Well, if you want them to stop questioning you then that's the way. That's what you asked for. How to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 03:25 PM
6

Hide your phone just one time during a fight and have it on record. Play it for the, privately and they'll never question you again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 02:13 PM
2

The answer is most likely that he's fucked somehow,
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 02:00 PM
-7

I sang a song and it didn't help, oh no, it hit. You might get better results if you lay it all out and let's hear it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 09:30 AM
4

I'll start by saying if you never married then you'd just agree to not be together. But, you're married. So, let's go from here. You don't mention nation and a lot depends on that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 07:22 AM
3

You got it. Nobody is helped by being bullshitted.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 03:45 AM
2

Wait for her to fuck up on her time. After she's fucked up and not gotten him to or from, school 3x file a Motion to Modify Custody and Support. Document all of her failings.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 03:44 AM
3

That's when you file contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 02:34 AM
2

That was my arrangement. Maybe our incomes were more skewed.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 02:34 AM
2

Decide if you can handle FT or not. I did it for years. It's no joke.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 02:33 AM
4

You need to make the parenting plan very black and white with a mother like this or she will abuse you, violate the plan, and make your life hell forever. You need to hold her to her days. On your days you do your thing. On her days she does hers. If she fails to do hers then take record of it and make sure the school is aware of the situation in case your ex doesn't do drop offs or pick ups. Once she fucks up 5x you take her back to court for full custody since she obviously can't manage having…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 01:46 AM
18

You need to make the parenting plan very black and white with a mother like this or she will abuse you, violate the plan, and make your life hell forever. You need to hold her to her days. On your days you do your thing. On her days she does hers. If she fails to do hers then take record of it and make sure the school is aware of the situation in case your ex doesn't do drop offs or pick ups. Once she fucks up 5x you take her back to court for full custody since she obviously can't manage having…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 01:42 AM
1

Expenditure on matters for temporary orders.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 07:46 PM
1

If you move in with your parents, or they move in with you, your parents income doesn't matter either.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 07:39 PM
1

Her mom's income has no bearing on her income or your child support.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 07:08 PM
1

Her Kim's income won't matter a bit. If she moves if with her mom it will lower her temporary orders though.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 09:28 AM
1

If you got a job who would watch and care for the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:12 AM
4

There are steps you can take. Do you own or rent? Kids involved? Both working or just you?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:33 AM
17

Sounds like the counseling will be a bunch of wasted time and money with a lot of finger-pointing.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:03 AM
6

^ What u/James1933 said ^
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 01:56 AM
1

Just do the same thing once a week and use individual containers (I like the glass Tupperware) for daily meals. Less food, cleanup, and you still get to cook and eat well. Use the leftover time of not cooking or cleaning as much to listen to a podcast, go ride a bike,workout,etc.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 01:38 AM
15

Love cooking + homebody = that.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/11/22 11:03 PM
2

Just because you've slept with her doesn't mean she won't steal your jewelry or medication (if you have any).
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 11:00 PM
2

Just do it once a week me and have leftovers all week?
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 10:58 PM
1

No court is going to fault you for taking control of the child that isn't your bio-child. She left them. So, don't worry about that. I think you're between 2 decisions. Move to where your family is, hope they offer short-term help, and get work there. The other option isn't good. Foster care. If you think you can pull off keeping them then take 1 week off of work due to family emergency and start finding a local nanny to taken them to and from school and watch in between until you get home. Coll…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 05:58 AM
1

Do you have family, like parents, that could help in the meantime while you go back to work?
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 05:44 AM
6

I would start by calling CPS and notifying them that she abandoned all* of your children, as well as the that isn't yours. You need to file a Petition for Divorce and get Temporary Restraining Orders on Property and Children. You also need emergency order for support from her. Unfortunately unless you know how to do this, and I'm assuming you don't, you're going to need to pay a lawyer. Do you have family that can help you with attorney fee#? What are the ages and sexes of the children? What are…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 12:54 AM
2

Have some class. Don't make your buyers move into a house with no kitchen sink. They said it was $400 at Lowe's. So, replace the new sink with this one when they're ready.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 03:19 PM
4

Well, make sure you disclose that the kitchen sink will be taken. Legally, anything that's part of the home during the showing and inspection is obligated to stay unless specifically stated otherwise on disclosure.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 08:35 AM
10

Just o be done with it tell your STBXW that you'll give her the $30k out of your portion of the equity split. I know, it sucks. But, with the market tumbling from interest rates you might lose another $100k in a month. Fuck that noise. Pay her to get her out of your life for good.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 06:55 AM
1

Yes. Usually boiler plate questions on the first set.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 04:31 AM
7

I just hit 4* years single after a 5 year LTR. Life is easier, quieter, more peaceful, cheaper, etc. I do miss the fun times. But, I look back and realized that I paid for all of those. I think I'll start going out solo as all the guys I know are married and boring.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 01:14 AM
3

If the court didn't already order them automatically have your attorney file Motions for TRO RE: Children and Property. Get minimum 50% custody and half of all assets. Looks like she'll be paying CS. CA means she may end up paying you spousal support, too.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 11:14 PM
16

See your lawyer. A lot, I think, depends on the judge. But, the provisions you listed aren't automatically void like no child support would be. Sounds like you might be in a decent position. But, after this divorce don't get married again. Any contract (marriage license) that requires secondary contracts (pre or post nups) to protect you from the first contract (marriage) should just be avoided altogether.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 10:41 PM
29

Seriously. The longer I stay single the less attractive a relationship sounds. The idea of having to continually please someone else again sounds very unappealing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 10:36 PM
2

They appeal to men's guilt and sense of pride.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 06:00 PM
1

Santa Clarita is a lot different than Torrance. I agree. My only concern is what happens after your ex pays off her car? Send him back to UT, start another school, have to make new friends again,etc? As a kid who probably went to 15 different schools growing up I can tell you that all of that instability really sucks. It gets worse the older you get, too.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:56 PM
1

As a father myself I'd much rather my son go to school in UT vs LA. I was born and raised in LA and, let's just say, the schools* and kids really suck there. Kids and schools in UT will be a much better environment for your son. If you can easily transfer to UT then I'd move there and get 50/50, minimum, with your son. Utah is a really beautiful state. I know CA is, too. But, they're beautiful in different ways. You could start a tradition of skiing, biking, hiking, camping, etc*,with your son i…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:31 PM
3

Well, a couple of things. Based on your description she sounds like a rare "good woman." Why do you think you're not into her? You brought her to your hime country and got her a visa, married her, etc. Why did you go through all of that if you, as you said, were never really into her? As far as the $100k savings that was a gift... I'd consider the fact that you were the higher earner on top of the fact that the man usually pays for the majority of shit in a relationship. So, this is a chance to …
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:01 PM
2

Not last I checked. Neither is Trump or Joe and Hunter Biden. It's a good ole boys club and they're all in it despite the theatrics you see in Congress. You really do have TDS though. He's been out of office for 2 years and he still lives in your head rent-free. Move on, dude.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 03:26 AM
1

Gerrymandering has nothing to do with whether or not abortion is in the Constitution. Spoiler. It isn't. Therefore it's a state issue. Right now weed is more illegal than abortion because it's still illegal at the federal level. Abortion is not. I'm always amazed at guys who make abortion one of their main hills to die on. I understand why women do. But, men? Are you just simping to try and be "an ally" to get pussy or what?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 03:25 AM
5

Marriage is indeed sort of a trap for men. You don't have kids so just get divorced. The sooner you do it the less it'll cost you in terms of assets/money/property.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 03:21 AM
9

What* do you do in your free time? Sounds like you need some hobbies or sports to participate in. Get a dog for company. Seriously. Unlike a wife, a dog is always happy to see you when you get home.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 03:18 AM
0

Dude, seriously sit back and listen to yourself. You need help, man. Take your hate back to r/politics Regarding abortion... it's a state issue. It hasn't been banned. It's just been put back to the states where it belongs according to the 10th Amendment. You should study American Government so you can get a grasp on how US jurisprudence operates.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 03:09 AM
0

Well, they backed Biden 5-1 over Trump. So, I think that's pretty self-explanatory. Wall Street puts their money behind the one who's going to make them money. In this case it was through the military industrial complex. Notice how the Russia-Ukraine war started immediately upon Biden taking office? It's been a boon for defense stocks. Libertarian as in I believe you should be able to pursue that which makes you happy as long as it doesn't hurt others? Yes. The alternative is controlling others …
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 03:02 AM
9

You're going to need a lawyer if she won't agree to 50/50. Also, don't use Cosho Humphrey. I have a close friend who lives out there and they nickeled and dimed him on every damn thing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:55 AM
0

Well, if you're right then Wall Street was wrong. Funny how you "hate the rich" yet the rich are the ones who backed your boy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:51 AM
1

Funny how he attacks the man's line of work. Bet OP sat back and collected stimmy checks while this dude was working.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:49 AM
0

Yeah, the midterms are looking pretty good. Someone has to get this conomy under control after the past 2 years of reckless spending. I'm guessing you're a youngster in your 20s or something. Am I right?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:46 AM
0

Haha! Listen to yourself. Pretty sure you're the one seething. Grow up. I'm starting to see why your wife left you and now am doubting your story a bit. Those who make politics so big in their brain to the point that they'll divide against their fellow man and insult him really needs to see a therapist. I've been in business for a long time. The best years in my career were the Trump years. Made money hand over fist. I couldn't even keep up with it all. Now look at us barely 2 years later. Amazi…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:40 AM
1

Didn't stop my ex. Parenting plans are only as valuable as the parents involved.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:17 AM
1

I kind of liked the Trump term. I remember the good old days when we had low gas prices, low inflation, low food prices, low energy costs, were a net exporter of energy, China and North Korea were contained, there wasn't a Russia-Ukraine war, violent crime was low, the economy was roaring, and the border was secure. It's very unfortunate that it all ended on January 20, 2021. But, hey... at least you don't have to hear about "mean tweets" on the news. I hope the trade-off was worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:15 AM
0

Who enjoys causing others misery? As far as your daughter goes, I agree with you if it's true. He has no business talking to her about politics, religion, etc. besides, she's 6 years old.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:14 AM
1

Rent-free, baby. Almost 2 years later and still pounding their fists.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:13 AM
2

Using the term "MAGAt" sort of defies your claim that you aren't particularly political, haha!
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 02:12 AM
9

I relate to your situation a lot. I never had a family growing up. My ex-wife had a huge family. They pressured us to get married and I stupidly went along with it. I had no knowledge or education on what marriage meant. I came from a single mother household with no fatherly example. So, part of the good of being married to her was that I had an instant huge family from her side. But, as soon as we got divorced they all abandoned me. They are HER FAMILY. They were never MY FAMILY. That made the …
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 12:31 PM
16

Family photos, guns, heirlooms, personal jewelry, clothing that means something to you, any gear that you may be attached to like a bike, longboard, etc, cards (birthday, Xmas, Father's Day, etc) that she will destroy out of spite. If you feel like she'll lob false allegations on you then buy a cheap body cam* and wear it. Record everything. Move into a different bedroom if you can. Call the police and tell them you're filing and afraid your ex will falsely accuse you. Put the police on notice s…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 05:04 AM
7

I wouldn't introduce kids until the 5-6 month mark. Or, at least when you know it's serious. Having partners come in and out of your kids' lives is bad for them. My ex-wife did this. She had a parade of live-in partners. But, on my side they only met one which became a 5 year live-in LTR. Run a background check on the guy living with your kids. That's a reasonable thing to do as a father who isn't present when he is. I doubt his Fakebook story, too.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 04:38 AM
3

Pay it yourself and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 03:20 AM
15

The only reason women offer up easy no-contest divorces is because they don't want you digging. But, if they think digging on you will benefit them they never offer an easy no-contest divorce. 50% custody should be the main goal here. Your kids' time is limited and precious. Once they become adults and move out you don't see them much. So,take as much time as you can possibly get. The money and assets are just gravy that you're entitled to. No wife ever walks away from the gravy so neither shoul…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 03:12 AM
10

Simple. She has to disclose all assets and holdings just like you do. This is a basic discovery notice. If the discovery doesn't satisfy you then you file Interrogatories for more on-depth answers. If you still think she's hiding things of significant value your attorney hires a forensic accountant. Trust me... unless she's been buying black market diamonds and stashing them the accountant will find it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 02:46 AM
2

She should have thought about that before kicking out the breadwinner. Instead of giving her money deliver groceries and stuff for your kids. What I did was stopped paying rent, got her evicted, and she had no choice but to give me full custody. It was dirty. But, she lobbed false allegations on me to gain the upper hand and so I decided to drop an Uno reverse card on her. I would have preferred a cordial divorce. But, she was out for money and getting me labeled "aBuSiVe" in divorce court reall…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 02:22 AM
2

Live music is usually better.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 12:29 AM
2

It all depends on the people. If she's by nature a greedy materialistic person she's coming for your throat. If she's vindictive she's coming for your throat out of spite.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 10:25 PM
3

It's stories like this that make me grateful for being single.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 10:24 PM
1

That's divorce. And, you have 16+ years of child support since, for your own reasons, custody isn't something you're seeking.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 09:57 PM
1

Well, if you plan on divorcing she'll need to start working. Does she know how close to divorce you are?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 09:54 PM
2

Damn. I got nuthin. She seems impossible.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 09:51 PM
2

When it's time to discuss something maybe present it to her like this. "So, I think we need to discuss xyz issue soon. Let me know when a good time to do so sometime this week would be." This gives her the chance to mentally prepare and not feel blindsided*. I don't know. I'm just trying to think of ways to lower conflict. She seems pretty fragile and explosive.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 09:32 PM
2

If he already got an apartment then it sounds like he just made a big commitment to a,life without you. It would be one thing if he was renting a room or at a hotel. But, signing a lease is a longer term commitment. What are the marital issues?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 09:27 PM
1

Does she drink? If so, then she must stop. As far as being able to change? I believe everyone is capable of change if they want to change. Does she? If so, then she needs some therapy and accountability. Next time she does it call the police, get her arrested, and she'll be forced to get treatment and accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 09:17 PM
1

He probably had a support order and didn't know it. Then, she enforced it and they came to collect.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 09:03 PM
2

Once she gets the ring she gets the power to do whatever the hell she wants, or doesn't want, to do. Be glad she's still cooking and fucking. A lot let that go, too.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 08:19 PM
1

Negative. They can't collect something that was never ordered. No order means no debt.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 07:38 PM
1

A good money saving tip is to write down any questions on a notepad, on your iPad, whatever, the second it comes to one. Don't fire it off as an email. That's rack your bill up fast. Instead, collect all of your questions and schedule a weekly telephone conference. You can get 10 questions thoroughly answered in 30 minutes instead of being charged 3 hours for those same questions bouncing emails back and forth. Emailing your questions will kill you because you'll email back with follow up questi…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 05:10 PM
2

I wouldn't be paying a dime that wasn't ordered especially if she "kicked you out."
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 05:06 PM
0

Hire a PI to take pictures of him doing the morning walk of shame and leaving.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 03:27 AM
2

I didn't get screwed with alimony. But, I know there's no such thing as retroactive child support. They can't retroactively collect something that was never ordered to begin with. Could be the same with spousal support.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 03:26 AM
12

Get her ass working ASAP. If she's short on credits to finish a degree get her on it to get her degree.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 01:14 AM
11

You can stay with someone forever without* signing a government business contract called a "marriage license." If she truly loves you for you, and not the money/career that you, admittedly, easily impressed her with, then she'll stay with you without getting married simply because she loves you. On the other hand... if she wants to make sure to always have rights to your wallet and future she'll insist on getting married. Listen, man. I got married at your age. But, this was before the internet …
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 12:52 AM
4

Sounds cool. What concert?
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 10:59 PM
1

I wish I could understand that. My ex was a cheating whore so I have a much different dynamic. I hope you're getting the help and doing the work you need to for your own benefit, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 09:45 PM
2

It all depends on how much the kids know. My ex abandoned our kids to me and I just let her go. We had the best time without her meddling presence. First thing OP should do after he wins is nail her with a contempt the first chance he gets. Make sure she knows he means business and keep her from fucking around with the parenting plan.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 09:26 PM
11

Go kick some ass!
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 05:58 PM
1

Well, a couple of things. They've been apart for over a year. Feelings and people move on a lot in that time. So, sounds like he's already well on his way to a new life. OP can't just reappear and flip a switch. I don't have advice on this because if I told someone I wasn't sleeping with others then that would be the truth. Next is the fact that they have 4 kids together. All things equal, that would be enough for me to try again unless OP is just unbearable to be with (not saying that's the cas…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 04:13 PM
4

Don't cause any fuss. If there's property you left behind let her keep all of it unless it's things like family heirlooms or photos, etc. But, anything replaceable just walk away from.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 06:16 AM
11

It will get better. Imagine if it went the other way where you lost the kids and had to pay her money for the "privilege" of not seeing them? Start making new memories with your kids. The years I had full custody of my kids were the best years I ever had with them. They're grown and adults now and I still look back to those years with awe. You're in a great spot.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 04:16 AM
10

Don't even lawyer up if she's willing to do a fast uncontested divorce. If he lawyers up so will she. Based on the info here he's better off just cutting her loose quick and easy.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 04:14 AM
16

Fuck. Divorce now before you have kids and alimony becomes an issue with your salary. Be nice to her and try to just get a quick, quiet, uncontested divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 04:12 AM
2

The benefit of filing is that you get to prepare for however long you want before filing. The Defendant/Respondent has only 20-30 days to prepare an Answer. So, there's a huge tactical advantage of being able to sort paperwork, living arrangements, money, children, etc, out in the meantime. But, if you're already in mediation then it doesn't matter. You both know it's happening.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 01:52 AM
1

Essentially, if Jen person was awarded a car and both parties are in it then the party not awarded it signs it over. Same with other assets.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 11:50 PM
6

Fuck them. Here's some advice. Talk to nobody about what is going on. People gossip. If you gloat and say the wrong thing, and it gets back to your ex through Facebook or something,then your ex could call that person as a witness. Just keep your mouth shut and stay the course. You can talk here because it's anonymous. But, don't be saying shit at work or to anyone in your private life other than your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 08:33 PM
3

The judge wouldn't allow her to unilaterally withdraw. He'd file a Motion in Opposition and the motions would be heard the same day. If they both don't agree to withdraw the divorce then it goes forward.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 07:25 PM
3

Mediation would be a huge advantage for her, and disadvantage for you, at this point. Don't stop your momentum.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 07:23 PM
3

Judge isn't going to just dismiss this unless you both agree to at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 07:22 PM
11

Unfortunately, it is fun to see a man occasionally win. I never hear women tell other women how sad it is when they take their XH through the court ringer. They get congratulated.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 07:18 PM
11

Don't get mad. Get everything.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 07:16 PM
3

She can file a motion to withdraw petition for divorce. Then you file a motion in opposition of her motion to withdraw. Get an attorney NOW if you don't have one.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 07:14 PM
3

My marriage wasn't that bad. She just wanted to pretend she was single and 21 again to hit the CC despite being a mother to young children. She met up with a recently divorced friend and got talked into going back to the streets. She then had a solid 2-3 year hoe phase.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 04:48 AM
5

I would like to add that I would've endured the marriage for another 7-8 years though to be able to see my kids every day.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 04:23 AM
8

It's so true. Remember your kids are only young once. I did a lot of really fun things with my kids with just us, sans the mother, and we had the best time. You can never get that time back. Once they're adults you won't see them much at all. It's a really hard adjustment when they fly the coop. As far as hobosexuals, yeah. My ex's roommate got mad at her and kicked her out of her house. I was an idiot and moved her into mine. Big fucking mistake. Don't let a woman turn her calamity into yours.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 12:36 AM
24

I was exactly where you were. Had the D mid 30s and started dating again at 38. Career, fit, mountain biker, small kids, etc. I mainly didn't date because I had primary custody of the kids and just didn't have time to waste on a woman. About 3 years in and custody situation went 50/50 and I started dating. Slept with quite a few casuals and had 2 girlfriends with one becoming a LTR. In hindsight I wish I hadn't entered another LTR and had just kept her casual and stayed on my individual life wit…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 12:13 AM
12

My ex successfully alienated my youngest from me. But, my older kids were already too old and our relationship as established. Mothers alienate kids and weaponize them against fathers as a matter of normal practice. I love my kids to death. But, I wonder if I would do it all over again if I were that same young guy who knew then what I know now.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 06:57 PM
2

Fucking hell, man! That's the rub right there.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 05:53 AM
0

We're getting way deep into the political motivations of the NEA, government, and how it's been infiltrated. So, yes, you are a product of that. Keep in mind that Planned Parenthood was started by Margaret Sanger, an avowed eugenicist, for the purpose of keeping the black population from growing. This is why most abortion clinics are in poor areas. Right now, today, approximately 50% of all black babies are aborted. The black population is 12-13%, but accounts for 38% of all abortions. https://w…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 05:51 AM
3

How do you even connect that? Women entered the workforce during WWII because the men were off at war. This was before no-fault divorce. Fact is, women wanted to hoe around. The pill and no-fault divorce enabled that. Legalized abortion turned women's irresponsible behavior into "healthcare." Feminism has destroyed the male-female dynamic. Women sowed to the wind and now they're reaping the whirlwind. Most men see women as a cum dumpster now because of the way women turned their image into that.…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 02:37 AM
5

It's not government indoctrination. Women marched for this in the 60s.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 01:52 AM
2

What's your situation?
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 01:13 AM
2

I agree that a SAHM is ideal for the children. Unfortunately, mothers don't put their children first anymore or they wouldn't divorce the fathers 80% of the time. I believe the nuclear family creates stability for the children if the father can earn enough on his own to support the family. The problem is no-fault divorce. Wives are actually incentivized to divorce and take the children and then remarry. That's what my ex did. So, now she has her husband's income, half of my income, and she works…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 01:09 AM
5

I agree with you. Dating apps let women become huge hoes and so men became huge pigs. And, that worked for a while. Everybody was enjoying the new liberation Tinder provided. Now, I'm no prude or anything. My body count was around 70 when I got married in my early 20s. I was faithful to my wife for the decade we were married though. I'm not a cheater and never have been. But, after divorce I was opened up to this new hookup culture and I added to my count pretty rapidly. Ended up meeting a woman…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 12:46 AM
2

CGA is the antidote for wanting love and commitment. She's not yours. It's just your turn. I think as long as you walk into any type of dating or relationship that way you'll not get your heart stomped on. Get a vasectomy, don't spend too much money on her, get that p-sleeve and enjoy it for a night,week, month, or year. But, always know it's just your turn.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 12:23 AM
7

All of my relationships started that way, including my marriage. Some make it. The majority don't. Let's hope he's in the former group.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 11:37 PM
5

Crossposted to r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 08:29 PM
1

My last LTR lasted 5 years. When it ended she just packed her shit and moved out. Case closed the way it should be. Had I married her I would've had to sell my house... instead, I'm still living in it today 4 years later.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 08:25 PM
8

You know what they say. Burn me once, shame on you. But me twice, shame on me. I was married and divorced once. Shame on her. Now, if I'm stupid enough to burn myself on the stove a second time then that's on me. Guess what I don't have to do anymore. Wake up and go to the farmer's market. Instead, I can watch football or go to the gym. If I want company then a woman is a few swipes away and I get a different flavor of ice cream every time. Sex got so boring with my wife after 7 or so years. It …
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 08:23 PM
7

It's a number game. Maybe 10-20% of women aren't like that. But, betting your life on an 80% failure rate is asinine. So, if you want men to come back to dating and marriage then women will need to change. That means the women who aren't like the 80% need to change the laws and culture. They sure as hell won't let men do it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 07:58 PM
2

I understand your point. But reputations matter when you are an involved parent and have to interact with the school regularly.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 06:30 PM
3

Soon to be ex-wife 2.0.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 02:41 AM
2

That, or an Asian spa once a month. Get a full body massage and a release to fill that itch. Pay cash.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 02:40 AM
18

You should have loudly said, so the other mom's could hear, "do you think it's appropriate to bring your adultery and affair partner to our son's school? Why are you so interested when you only called him once over the whole summer he was with me?"
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 11:47 PM
2

Child custody and money. We don't really need an article for this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 05:34 PM
2

I love children and have my own. But, having a child rarely saves a marriage. It just adds more stress especially in the early years. Why did you want to divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 04:43 PM
3

If you don't have kids and are agreeable on property division then you could do this at the court self-help dept. Kids and individual assets like retirement plans, investments, etc, are what people usually fight about. Furniture and pets not so much and you've already ironed that out. The house split 50/50 equity is a given with, or without, lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 03:17 PM
1

You shouldn't need a trust for the portion you want to use. Just set up a different bank account with ONKY you on it. Keep records that the money deposited into it is from the settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 02:25 PM
10

Typically, PI settlements aren't marital property. If she lawyered up then you need to as well. I think what you need to do is put your daughter's tuition in some kind of trust for her. But, an attorney will tell you for sure. As far as hiding it... don't. You shouldn't need to. Get a consultation with a firm that specializes in family law as well as trust and estate law. Many large forms have attorneys that specialize in multiple areas of law.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 02:14 PM
7

My issue, now that my kids are adults, is that as you look back you realize all those things that were "chaotic" things like mornings are the things you miss. You can never get them back. My advice is the same to all men and it's based on my experience as a father. Get as much custody as possible. You can never go back in time and recapture lost moments. I've had full custody for years, 50/50 custody for years, and then EOW for years. All based on changes of circumstances along with some devious…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 04:19 AM
29

Wear that crown with pride, King.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 11:39 PM
2

Yes, sir. Sell the house and split the equity. Then, go your own ways.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 11:19 PM
1

https://www.brickhousesecurity.com/counter-surveillance/bug-detectors/ In general, it's just a bad idea to rotate in and out of the residence with her. You can be accused of stealing or breaking something, she could install a camera and accuse you of doing it to eavesdrop on her, etc. I had considered this setup with my ex and or kids and getting my own place was definitely the way to go. Plus, you know she's going to tell tales about your divorce to the neighbors and they're all gonna look at y…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 11:13 PM
2

Another thing to be wary of is her installing hidden cameras to watch you when you're there with the kids. If I were you I'd unplug the WiFi whenever you're there. The kids will naturally hate every time you come over because they don't have WiFi though. If you keep the WiFi on then you need to assume that you're always being watched by her. Or, you could turn the kids' devices all off and then sweep the place with a RF scanner looking for hidden cameras. Things like clocks, lights, smoke detect…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 08:57 PM
1

Dude, I don't even want to get started on how my ex would abuse my love for our kids with all kinds of random things like this. Shed straight up tell me last minute she was going out of town for a week and if I didn't take them she'd find a sitter FOR A WHOLE WEEK. So, of course I dropped everything to watch the kids on her week while also still paying her child support for being on vacation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 07:32 PM
1

Your attorney sucked. A lot of them do. I've had a few and one definitely sucked ass.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 07:33 AM
2

Yeah, a bar complaint is a big deal. And, it's not public so couldn't be slanderous (or libelous in this case). Better to just a new attorney and ask for a partial refund if they were completely ineffective.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 07:21 AM
3

The joint account and financial sharing is just a bad idea. She's the asking for the separation so she should be the one making concessions to you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 06:44 AM
6

This is all true. Just be wary of their intentions. Once women hit 40, and especially 50, their options really dry up. So, they're all going to want to lock you down. If a 40+ woman says that's not her intention assume she's lying.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 05:23 AM
9

As long as you're okay with your wife banging dudes in the bed you'll be sleeping in while you're there on your days.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 05:20 AM
5

Have her buy you out of the house. This isn't separation. This is divorce-lite. And, as long as you go on with this she'll be entitled to 50% of everything you earn during this period unless your state separates finances upon separation. But, it sounds like you're agreeing to continue to commingle finances which is a HUGE no.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 05:19 AM
2

Maybe threaten a BAR complaint for inaction and willful disregard for zealously representing their client?
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 05:16 AM
15

This is why we call child support "mom support." That's what it really is.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 05:13 AM
2

Learn to cook and eat at home. Should be easier to save money now that you're not blowing money on dates, drinks out trying to get laid, elevated food costs on days like Valentine's Day. No expensive gifts on V-Day, flowers all the time, etc. Once you don't have a woman in your life you'll be surprised at how inexpensive life gets. This is why they push marriage. They want you buying bigger and bigger houses, new furniture, painting the walls all the time, remodeling your kitchen and bathrooms, …
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 02:28 AM
1

Cash flow is more easily, and quickly, improved by managing cash-out rather than cash-in. Keep working to improve income. But, you can immediately stop buying useless and needless shit.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 02:25 AM
2

Fact is that you can't. Used vehicle prices have spiked dramatically in the past two and a half years. I can sell my truck today for more than I bought it for 5 years ago. So, take today's value and knock it down by 40-50%.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 01:30 AM
2

It's not expensive if you do it yourself. I successfully held my ex in criminal contempt as a Pro Se litigant. Al relationships are different. But, the carrot never worked with my ex. She only understood the stick.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 01:28 AM
5

Him giving her a pass doesn't preclude her from filing in the future. My attorneys and the judge both said if you want the parenting plan enforced then having a history of allowing it to go unenforced makes it difficult to start enforcing it later on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 09:22 AM
0

He said "she wants everything." So, she's being the turd. Women rarely sacrifice a penny so you can walk away with dignity. I just have no mercy anymore for women in divorce after mine, as well as all of the stories I read here. If you're legally entitled to it then get it. His STBXW is conveying the same mindset on OP already.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 03:25 AM
1

He didn't mention minor children, and at his age I doubt there are any, so a custody battle isn't on the table here. She's just trying score herself the best deal as women always do. Meanwhile, men usually want to be "the nice guy" and lose a lot for doing so. This is a straight asset distribution case. He should get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 03:10 AM
3

Don't agree to it. She knows she's on the hook for likely alimony and a huge chunk of her retirement. Whenever the wife wants to keep lawyers out of it it's because she knows she'll end up paying more if they are. Whenever a wife wants lawyers in it it's because she knows she'll get more if they are.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 03:08 AM
3

File contempt and specify that the inclusion of that provision was at her request.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 03:05 AM
10

Worst case scenario is she lobs false allegations against you, gets you arrested, and an automatic TRO is slapped against you making you homeless immediately. Happened to me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 05:28 AM
2

Yeah, I think you normally get at least 7 days to answer to a Motion. ONKY after that time can it be calendared for a hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 05:26 AM
19

You're only valuable for as long as she needs you to pay the bills. Once she knows she can secure half your stuff and child support then out you go.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 03:11 AM
17

Even if re date again don't get remarried.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:15 AM
2

PM me and I'll give you some free counsel.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 01:51 AM
4

I was about to say. Once I saw the words "flight attendant" I immediately thought this guy better at least start using condoms with his wife.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 11:43 PM
4

Well, you need to get that divorced filed ASAP. If you're still married and she runs up $50k in credit card debt then you can be held liable for it. If she crashes her car and causes a lot of damage then you're liable for it. If she has personal medical bills due to illness then you're personally liable for it, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 11:26 PM
1

If you suspect drug use then, by all means, file a Motion for Drug Testing by Hair Follicle Specimen. As far as everything else goes.... document, document, document. Use your phone and video record all exchanges. She's legally not allowed to switch childcare, school, etc, without your consent if you have legal custody (different than physical custody). Absolutely bring your ex's new partner into the light because he's around your young daughter. She has a demonstrable pattern of poor behavior h…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 11:02 PM
2

If you're divorced she shouldn't be on your health insurance. If you work for a company they usually wouldn't even allow it. Always question her motives. It usually comes down to money. SS, Medicare, etc, are valid things given your children's cognitive abilities. Are you still living together? If not, you shouldn't be paying the electricity and a car note that is in your name. You can be held liable if she wrecks the car and possibly hurts or kills someone. You need to sever legal ties with her…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 10:42 PM
6

She won't face any consequences at all. Men get sanctioned in family court. Not women.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 08:36 PM
8

That won't stop the support order. He'll just fall into arrears.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 08:35 PM
1

This is why setting is important. You want to make sure you're in a peaceful and safe environment with soothing music and easy to digest sweet fruit. Maybe some nuts, too.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 10:17 AM
1

A trip sitter isn't a bad idea if you're inexperienced.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 09:35 AM
4

I have some sage advice. I'm being completely serious here so don't take this as sarcasm. Tell your wife you need 2 days away. Either go camping or rent a nice hotel room for 2 nights. Prepare a nice fruit bowl with strawberries, bananas, grapes, and peaches. Get a 12 pack of bottled water and maybe a couple of bottles of Gatorade. Put it in a cooler with ice if you go camping or put it in the fridge if you go to a hotel. Eat 3.5 grams of mushrooms or take 2 hits of LSD. If you're in the mountai…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 11:52 PM
13

Quit the second job. You're not required to work more than 1 full-time job. Plus, you need that time to care for your daughter. Good luck, man! Update is on the results. I hope you win custody. The mom clearly just wants her as a meal ticket like my ex did.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 10:13 PM
3

Start documenting and audio recording the abuse secretively in case there's a divorce. Overall, I agree about the kids. My daughter was 4 when we split and my ex was really able to turn her against me even though I raised my kids solo, without any help from her, for years after the divorce because she got back on the CC and left them to me. But, even with that, it's hard for a daughter to not side with a mom... even one that abandoned them. I don't have the same problem with my son, fortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 10:06 PM
2

Well, if you guys are cordial and can even "play marriage" like sleeping in the same bed,s ex, going out, etc, then it's usually best for the kids to be together. You said she has made a turnaround. But, as you know, her mind can change any minute. If I was in your situation then I'd try to keep the family together until the youngest is 18. Losing time with my kids was the most painful thing I ever went through. Having said that, if you do stay together despite all of this you might want to cons…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 07:57 PM
1

The kids complicate the decision. Are you okay with only seeing them every other week? Is she working? Are you going to be "divorce-poor" after losing half of your shit and paying her CS and/or alimony? Which state are you in? Hat are your respective incomes?
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 05:57 PM
3

After divorce I was able to parent the children, alone, very well and without interference. I was able to shop for what I wanted (both groceries and anything else), spend my free time how I wanted, spend my money how I wanted, sleep well and have peace in the home, etc. Everything is better single.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 05:40 PM
2

Dude, my folks would send her even with gift cards for clothes while we were married. Funny thing is she ended up using them on herself instead of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 01:57 AM
3

Yeah, but if you pack them in their backpack it means you're dressing them in the clothes from your house. Better for them to just rewear the outfit they came in. My ex would always deplete the nice clothes I bought and send them to me with ragged clothes she had. It sucks the game has to be played this way. But, you'll find your kids wardrobe at your place getting increasingly old and in need of replace,ent if you do otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 01:48 AM
4

Keep separate items at each house. Try to wash and send them back to your ex in the same clothing they arrived with. So, when they come over the first night wash that outfit and set it aside. Clothe them in it a week later on the drop off day.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 12:31 AM
1

This is definitely an attorney question since there's an international component to it. Usually there's a 6 month residency requirement to file in a new state. But, since NJ is both of your states the real question is the international travel that she took.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 12:28 AM
1

Same here. Daughter is NC due to parental alienation but I still contact and see my son frequently. My son is older and isn't as easily duped as my daughter who is super close to her mom. It hurts. But, it is what it is. Hopefully they come around when they get older. For now, just accept it as it is and try to still let her know you are thinking about her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 09:53 PM
2

100%. Once they move out you rarely see them. You can't get back lost time. You can make more money.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 09:51 PM
3

Like I said, you should have put the house up as collateral and fought for 50/50 custody and your kids wouldn't have left. You're behind the 8-ball now so your option is to maintain the status-quo or move to where she's at. If you move to where she's at you'll be able to lower your support based on a lower income in that state and your reasoning is because you want to be close to your kids. You'll get 50/50 custody, of not primary custody, if you can prove parental alienation. In which case she'…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 05:01 AM
3

Well, if you had a house together you could have allowed an attorney to put a lien on it so they'd get paid out of the proceeds of the sale after divorce. That was an option for you. You're right. 4 years is far too long and she has bewitched her children's mind those 4 years which is why your children don't communicate with you. You had options. You should have at least consulted with an attorney before giving the kids to her to take away to a raw away land.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 04:42 AM
3

How did she move them away 1300 miles without your consent? Do you not have joint legal custody? If so, you should've fought it in court at that time.it sounds like your ex is alienating your children from you. You should hire an attorney on this quickly. Then, hire a PI to sus out everything he can find on your kids, your ex, and her boyfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 03:45 AM
2

Small Sony voice recorded and put your phone on speaker.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 04:43 AM
2

Cohabitation after filing is a dangerous thing. She may lob false allegations at you. If things aren't hostile then depending on the work you do you can stop working OT or whatever to lower the income differential between you. If she goes full ballistic and rakes you over the coals then you will be paying her a boatload of money and her interest in getting a better job will go bye-bye. Either stop bringing in as much money or directly pay the bills and let her use her part-time money for all of …
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 04:43 AM
3

False allegation - The DV Parallel Track
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 04:37 AM
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