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View 1 posts and 199 comments by Fyfel on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Fyfel/r/Divorce_Men22/03/20 06:59 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

He do that, the old ring has bad juju
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 12:57 AM
23

“I’d say I’m 20lbs overweight”? So add 10-20lbs on top of that for a realistic number, so really you’re about 30-40lbs overweight? Also, anyone can run a half marathon so that’s nothing to brag about. Dating at 38 with kids at home isn’t going to net you some smoke show so temper your expectations..
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:13 AM
1

On the flip side of that; hypothetically, your marriage could have been wonderful and let’s say you earned great money and built up a nice nest egg and then within the first year of retirement you could drop dead from some unknown health issues and never live long enough to enjoy it. Life is a gamble, all you can do is enjoy the moment and make the best decision in the now. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 10:08 PM
18

You deserve better man. I know you love her and there’s so much history and children involved, but you deserve to be with someone that wouldn’t do this to you. From someone speaking from experience, it’s best to rip the bandaid off quick. As others have said, lawyer up in secret and let them have her served. If you don’t think you have enough assets to justify a lawyer or don’t wanna spend the money on one, write up your own papers and then have served her. Also know keep in mind a marriage is a…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 08:00 PM
3

💯 He needs to quit being a spectator of his ex’s life and start living his.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 05:47 PM
3

You don’t, you get a divorce. She’s not fighting for the marriage, you’re not growing together, it’s been bad more often than it’s been good, you don’t align on core values. You need to focus on yourself and your own sobriety (and maintaining it) before entering another relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 06:57 PM
6

You don’t love him, you’re using him and putting his sexual health at risk without his consent. Tell him the absolute truth and get a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 06:46 PM
1

Perhaps, but it’s also something you likely wouldn’t have been able to do on your own without her support.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 08:27 PM
1

Totally agree! She is already planting the seeds for divorce, once she’s emotionally involved with someone else she’s already checked out of the marriage. OP don’t wait a year, just rip the bandaid off now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 07:59 PM
1

😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 07:03 PM
1

Nope lol, they lasted a few months and then he dumped her. She hasn’t had a significant relationship since, admittedly I feel kinda bad for her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 06:57 PM
0

So you’re acknowledging he’s changed for the worse? The only people that don’t change are the ones that don’t take time to heal and go to therapy. All of my relationships post divorce have only gotten better and better.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 09:54 PM
-3

What’s your point?
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 09:52 PM
12

I’m divorced M in my 40’s, my ex left me for her AP but they didn’t work out. I found out that when they were together my ex took my daughter over to his house for a family dinner and I definitely got triggered! Ultimately I had to learn to accept what I can’t control and just keep focusing on being the best dad I can. Fast forward 5 years and now I’m in a long term relationship and my girlfriend has a daughter around my daughter’s age which is awesome. Her daughter is very fond of me but loves …
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 05:35 PM
2

What were the incidents that happened after you got married?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 11:50 PM
6

Dude you need to move out and get your own place before dating.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 12:46 AM
2

Dude no she’s not and you don’t know shit. The fact is menopause and perimenopause can really mess with a woman’s hormones, as guys we have no idea what it’s like to actually go through it and how it can affect their moods and personality.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 05:22 PM
3

Definitely glad to hear you’re going to take time to heal and get to know yourself again, that’s highly underrated and I’m my opinion a big factor in ensuring you have the best experience in future relationships. I waited about a year to get back out there myself. Currently in a nearly 3yr relationship with an amazing woman I matched with on Tinder. I tried several apps, Tinder obviously, hinge, bumble, FB and others, personally I liked hinge the best. Don’t pay for any of them! I’d also encoura…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 05:59 PM
4

💯 So many guys whine about being a nice guy that got rejected but often forget that part.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 05:28 AM
7

First off I’m sorry you’re going through this man… You’re not wrong your STBXW was absolutely cheating no matter how she frames it, with that said you can’t change the narrative she tells herself. Sadly, you also can’t control if she introduces the kids to him or not or if she moves in with him and the kids stay there on her parenting nights. Eventually your kids will see her for who she is when they’re old enough. I also hated my ex’s affair partner but ultimately my ex made the choice to accep…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 05:27 PM
4

That’s pretty normal, that feeling will fade in time. It’s also your body’s way of telling you that you might not be ready for that yet.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 02:42 AM
2

That’s my point. Everyone has their own unique baggage but all of it can manifest itself in the same negative ways. Plenty of men have substance abuse issues, meltdowns like an adolescent boy, or hide behind their looks and higher income to make up for their lack of emotional awareness and not taking control of their mental health. It sounds like the women he was seeing wanted more of a commitment than OP was willing to give them and there’s nothing wrong with that, they’re just at different pla…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 05:00 PM
3

My ex wife and I were 9 months into the separation/divorce she initiated due to her leaving to be with someone else. She text me a couple days before what would have been our 10 year anniversary asking if I thought we should do something, I literally said WTF out loud to myself lol. My answer was obviously no…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 06:07 PM
12

Because men older than their early thirties don’t have baggage and are perfectly content? 🙄 I’m saying this as a 43M.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 05:23 PM
3

It’s gets better in time but you just have to go through the process to get there one day at a time, sometimes just one evening, afternoon or even one hour at a time. But know it will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 09:03 PM
3

Women could say the same thing about finding a good man. We’re all human, we all come with baggage and most of us are trying to do the best we can. I also hate the stats about divorce rates being high and to never get married. There’s risk in anything you do worthwhile. 600k small businesses are started every year in the US yet over 65% will fail yet people are still taking a chance on that. I say this as someone in the same boat, I’m early 40’s been with my current gf for 2+ years and debating …
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 06:19 PM
5

Like you said she had likely been scheming to leave long ago and during that time she had been emotionally detaching herself from the marriage so by the time the actual break came she was ready to move on. Unfortunately for guys like you and I we are caught off guard and that’s when our grieving process starts. Everything you’re feeling is completely normal, it sucks I’m sorry you’re going through this. Be glad you don’t share children so you can move on and have a clean break. You will be alrig…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 08:46 PM
5

Did you follow up and ask “why do you think we would get divorced?”
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 10:33 PM
7

I’m sorry man, I’m sorry you’re hurting it definitely stings to know when your ex moved on even if it was you that wanted the divorce. Things will get better in time, but it will take time. Just take it one day at a time and keep spending that quality time with your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 04:48 PM
3

How does her sleeping around with a FWB any different from him doing the same? The only difference is most men are insecure and can’t handle that.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 12:14 AM
3

To play devils advocate OP, are you taking care of yourself and staying in good shape? I agree with others though go to marriage counseling or even individual counseling before the divorce route.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:36 PM
44

If you watched that hotel hallway video of diddy dragging and hitting a woman and still think he’s the victim you’re delusional.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 05:54 PM
1

I have the same schedule but we rotate the mon/tue and wed/thurs every other week depending on who had the kiddo the prior weekend
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 10:00 PM
1

Are you saying single moms are trash?
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 10:41 PM
2

I did the same, I’m a single dad and went on a few first dates with women who had children but were on opposite weekends. It usually is a deal breaker unless you wanna stick it out long enough to see if one person is willing to rearrange their parenting schedule to the same as yours. I’ve been with my current gf for just over 2 years, we were on opposite weekends at first but after a month she switched hers and now are parenting schedules are fairly aligned.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 10:40 PM
3

Psss, your insecurities are showing 😬.. What makes a single dad any different? Also anyone regardless of kids are not can up and leave at any moment.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 10:38 PM
15

She’s absolutely having an affair, likely started as an emotional affair but it’s a full on physical affair by now. There are so many signs, the speed at which she asked for a separation, divorce, purchasing of a new house, the defensiveness and anger towards you, and telling everyone you are “unbearable” are all groundwork for her later justifying her new love interest. If you’re in a no fault state don’t hire a PI just get a lawyer and start the divorce on your end. She is gone and there’s not…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 07:53 PM
11

You’re girlfriend who you said is perfect and supported you in so many ways felt hurt another woman hit on you in front of her and you told your girlfriend it’s her problem, that says it all right there. When the other girl hit on you you didn’t standup for your girlfriend, you could have squashed the issue before it ever became one by introducing that other woman to your girlfriend in that same conversation which would have demonstrated to your gf that you are putting your relationship first an…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/25 11:42 PM
3

Just regular therapy talking it all out, after about 9-10 months in I switched therapists just because I felt like I plateaued with the first one. The seconds therapist I went to was a woman who did 3 marriage counseling sessions with me and my ex before my ex quit going. Seeing her after that helped because she had a couple 1:1 sessions with my ex and she was able to validate some of my feelings based on what she knew about my wife. Most sessions aren’t groundbreaking, sometimes it was me venti…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 06:19 PM
3

I was in the same boat when my ex-wife and I were on the outs, those were some long sleepless nights where I just tossed and turned and spiraled at time. I got into running and eventually worked up to running 5-8 miles a day most days and by bed time I was pretty exhausted and I passed out fairly quickly. It helped most nights but not every night. Time is really the only way to get through this, but still took about a year.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 04:19 PM
22

Similar story here. Divorced finalized in 2021, 2020 was dark times but just took it one day at a time, attended therapy weekly, focused on my physical and mental health and being present for my daughter. 4 years later I’m in the best shape of my life, got a new WFH job, been in an amazing relationship for 2yrs now and my kiddo still thinks I’m the best dad in the world. Things will and do get better in time if you do the work.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:10 PM
8

Sorry you’re going through this man. Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do to change her mind, all you can do is put in the work to keep bettering yourself with things like therapy and maybe she’ll come back around. Taking accountability for your prior behaviors and trauma will help you be a better partner in your future relationships where that’s with your son to be ex or someone new. Just know you’ll be ok in time, but it will take time.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 12:15 AM
4

This man ☝️. I was once in the same spot you were thinking and feeling all those same things but all it did was push her further away and I lost my dignity in the process. Did you see this coming or is there a chance she is cheating/has cheated/has a new work “friend”? If it’s the later you’ve got to go gray rock like yesterday, especially if you want a chance at it working out. Lastly just know that when a woman reaches this point asking for or filing for a divorce usually the point of no retur…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 02:36 AM
1

Cool so you want to shame people into staying in unhappy or potentially abusive marriages? If those are your values you may want to reassess.. Also the majority of people stayed married because there weren’t no fault divorce laws back then.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 01:32 AM
7

I gotta say I disagree with this whole premise.. Everything you said about women absolutely could apply to men, even men in their 30’s that are “still on the rise” as you say. While their careers may be on the rise, most men do not do any inner work or take accountability for their own faults and they think that their looks and earned income makes a woman indebted to stay with him. The truth is the majority of relationships will fail, I think I’ve heard 70% of relationships don’t make it past 1 …
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 01:20 AM
-5

How so? He’ll “lose half his wealth!” It was never HIS wealth, it was THEIR wealth.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 11:18 PM
-1

Whenever I hear this I can’t help but think most men don’t have the emotional maturity to get married in the first place so it’s their own damn fault..
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 11:17 PM
11

I assure you morals and character were not better back then they were just easier to hide.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 11:13 PM
5

Marriage counseling sounds cheaper than divorce, as you’ve pointed out even if she got $5k a month you’d both struggle financially living in California. Have you guys considered going that route?
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 06:41 PM
2

Everyone is different, but I wouldn’t say it’s abnormal. It could be your body’s way of telling you you’re not ready for serious dating or dating in general. How long ago was your divorce and how long have you been separated?
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 09:46 PM
4

She was absolutely full on cheating on you. When her affection towards you was decreasing it was ramping up with her AP. Like others have said though you will never or know the truth so you have to just accept and be ok never knowing. Work on yourself and being the best version of yourself and never look back. One day you’ll find someone who truly loves you for you and you’ll realize you were always just settling for your soon to be ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 06:17 AM
3

With time. It takes time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 02:27 AM
3

This is great advice 👌. OP I’m in the same boat as this guy and yourself. My gf and I are thinking about moving in together this year, we’ve been together for 2 years and it has been an amazing relationship. But I have all of those same underlying fears. My good friend gave me similar advice as this guy did, can’t let fear hold us back from our current blessings and future possibilities. Just make the best decision you can at this point in time, nothing is guaranteed. It could fall apart, but wh…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 11:49 PM
2

I would give marriage counseling a solid chance, at least then you’ll know you actually gave it your all. I hear you say you tried for 22 years but you may have been trying with the wrong approach or there could be a better one to get you the outcome you want. Not saying it’ll work but at least then you’ll know for sure and for your kids if you have any. If anything else you’ll show up better in your next relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 10:32 PM
2

I would consider getting a new lawyer, or at the very least get a consultation with another one to see what they think about your current predicament.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 04:20 AM
2

Keeping my fingers crossed for you man that the results come back with the news you want🤞🤞
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 09:55 PM
5

Failing to identify your faults and short comings in the marriage is holding you back from growing and being a better partner in your next relationship. Your ex-wife likely had unmet needs as well. I agree about your post history being concerning. What are you doing to improve your quality of life and better yourself? Have you stopped drinking? Have you started exercising and eating healthier? What about progressing your career or ambitions?
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 07:25 PM
3

Expenses need to be more like 75/25 with that difference in income levels. If the roles were reversed she would absolutely be getting child support and alimony from you. Her quality of life will remain high and you will be struggling indefinitely, go see lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 03:24 PM
8

Things will get better for you in time but things will suck for a while, there’s no way around it you just have to go through it. I was in your same spot with my now ex-wife, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Everything you’re feeling is completely normal. Just take it one day at a time, or hell one hour at a time on those rough moments. But know, you will be ok after it’s all said and done.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 03:17 PM
7

She wrote that letter to provide closure for herself not you. I wouldn’t even respond to it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 06:33 PM
3

I agree. The things OP said are emotionally abusive which can be very damaging to someone’s mental health. While I don’t agree with her lifestyle choices they were her choices to make, OP can either accept them or not if they’re a deal breaker for him but calling her a whore, fat, or saying other degrading things is not acceptable. She came to OP looking for him to be her cheerleader and supporter which is what a good partner should be and instead he tore her down. The relationship is done, she’…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 03:48 PM
9

Yes it does get better if you do the work and focus on yourself, therapy, keeping busy, exercising regularly, reading, etc.. There’s no shortcuts only time will get you through this. That first year after my separation and divorce were some of the darkest days of my life. It’s been just over 5 years since we separated, my life isn’t perfect but I’ve gotten a better paying job, I’m in the best shape of my life, in the best and healthiest relationship I’ve ever had. Still have to work to do but it…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 07:05 PM
3

Family court has no say over things like taxes. You can have it listed out in your divorce decree who gets to claim the kids on taxes but it’s not really enforceable to my understanding because the IRS only cares about who physically had the kids most of the year (>50% of the year) to get to claim them on their taxes. Even if OP had them more family court can’t address it he would likely have to go through a CPA or the IRS.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 08:45 PM
4

Yeah.. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way OP. Have you tried therapy to work through it? Please know she likely isn’t acting normally to hurt you intentionally out of malice but she’s likely just moved on with life as it has been 3 years.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 07:07 PM
4

🤫 Your insecurities are showing..
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 06:29 PM
4

Haha dude you got called out and can’t handle it. You sound just like the women you are talking down on. Here’s a thought, maybe women enjoy sex just like men do! Enjoy yourself, but be respectful.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 06:28 PM
3

Are you just being naive? Short answer, yes. You’re comparing your family life with your dating life when you were younger and without children and likely any significant responsibilities. Dating will be extremely hard at 46yrs old when you’re divorced with 2 young children. I assume you’ll be working full time and have 50/50 custody of your children? After working full time, having your children half the week, doing ALL the chores and grocery shopping by yourself you will have very little free …
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 10:24 PM
3

Just listen to your gut and you’ll know when you’re ready. I hopped on the dating apps after any about 6 months post separation and when it came to actually planning dates I could tell I wasn’t ready so deleted my profiles and waited another 6 months before giving it another go. By the second go around I was actually excited about the idea of dating and actually going on dates.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 08:07 PM
8

Last month I bought a new pair of $200 running shoes I’ve been wanting for months and I love them.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 03:41 AM
2

Fairly common and pretty normal. A lot of it is from the emotional trauma from divorce. Take the pills as directed and you should be good.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 06:43 PM
4

Honest answer, no.. and there’s no convincing or talking her out of it “love” isn’t logical. I do suspect she is or has been unfaithful based on what you’ve shared about her behaviors. Do you guys share any biological kids? If not, I know it’ll be hard but cut ties and walk away and don’t look back. My ex cheated on me and left for her AP, my biggest regret in that was looking back I fought for someone who clearly didn’t want me and it made me feel pathetic. I’ll never fight for someone who won’…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 11:49 PM
2

Great call out! OP I would recommend following their advice. You have the rest of your life to date and find a new partner, but this is the time when you should really focus on bettering yourself. Not just externally though being in good shape is important, but also work on continuing to heal, get your finances in order and being there for your kids and getting yourself into a position where you are able to provide.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 01:04 AM
3

You can’t control the narrative she tells her friends and family about you, it’s sucks but you need to accept it is what it is. Carry your head high knowing you’re not the bad guy. Now, if there is a basis of truth with some of the bad things she is telling her people about you use this time to work on yourself and fix those issues so you can show better for your kids or future partners if you end up in another relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 10:56 PM
3

I second this! If you take it on a full stomach it’ll take longer to work.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 04:52 AM
1

Yeah, if she wants a new life or fresh start she can have it and the burden of starting all over by finding a new place to live and bed to sleep in.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 01:03 AM
7

I was 39 when my ex and I separated. I had no job, dead broke, heaviest weight I’ve ever been, and it was early 2020 right as Covid first hit. Now I’m 42, best shape of my life, great WFH Account Exec job, my current relationship is nearly 2yrs long and going strong we met on tinder. Dating apps still work but you really need to curate your profiles. Checkout YouTube for ways to make it standout. I’ve met some great people through the apps but not everyone is looking for the same thing at the sa…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 07:19 AM
12

You clearly have the means go ask an attorney instead of a bunch of rando’s on Reddit. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 05:13 AM
-16

Or don’t be a predator like this guy ☝️ fucking gross.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 03:52 AM
-15

Jerking off once a day to porn does seem a tad excessive..
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 05:28 AM
2

To be fair to her nobody really “wants” to work lol
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 06:53 PM
5

Missing the point, you need to stay living there until everything is settled. Paying half the bills and mortgage just means you’d be on the hook for financial support.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 11:23 PM
5

My dude! This is concerning to read, the first couple years after my separation and divorce sucked ass, definitely the darkest time in my life but things will get so much better I promise. What are you doing to bring joy or happiness into your life? Any hobbies or interests? I too felt hopeless and lost but just took things one day at a time. Is therapy an option for you? Therapy, lots of reading books on how to have better relationships and self healing, exercising consistently, all things I di…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 09:52 PM
3

This isn’t is a gender issue, it’s a she grew up in a broken home and her father never set good examples of how to behave and treat your partner and this is all she knows. People* rarely change, man or woman alike. I grew up in a horrible home with parents that only communicated by shouting profanity and so for a long time that’s the only way I would communicate in my relationships, divorce, lots of therapy, reading books on how to better relationships and exercising is how I was finally able to…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 08:55 PM
3

Don’t do it, be better than that. You made a choice to get married and give up your disability that’s not her fault. She set a boundary and said not getting married was her deal breaker, you could have stood your ground and said giving up your disability comp was yours, you chose to cave that’s on you. I agree with others, get her for alimony or spousal support. She was the soul income provider in the marriage so you should be entitled to something even if for a short while.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 08:08 PM
4

☝️I second this. It helped me become more self aware in how i have showed up in future relationships and I think everyone would benefit from therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 07:33 PM
2

Don’t take dating advice from random dudes on Reddit that can’t spell would be my advice. That guy is projecting his toxic beliefs onto you. You sound smart and level headed, what you’re feeling is normal and could just be a way you’re guarding yourself from being hurt again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 09:35 PM
3

Yes it’s very normal. I felt that way too when I first started out dating post divorce. For me it meant I’m somewhat not ready to date but I still pushed through the discomfort and told myself I’m not doing anything wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 09:33 PM
2

A marriage is a partnership, the bread winner is part of the team and each person contributes what they can. Yes some contribute more than others but that doesn’t change the fact it’s still a team effort.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 09:17 PM
-2

This ☝️. Marriages rarely fail because one person is entirely to blame. If you’re dying of 1,000 paper cuts then you’re not setting boundaries and enforcing them.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 09:16 PM
3

This ☝️. Step 1. Have a conversation about the problem. Step 2. Determine if problem can be fixed, it not proceed to step 3. Step 3. End the marriage Step 4. Only once step 3 has been completed proceed to dating new people
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 12:40 AM
5

Used to play guitar but haven’t played much at all since my separation but started to pick it back up these past few weeks. Also used to read prior to the divorce wanna pick that back up as well. New hobbies are running and working out, done several half marathons, a full marathon, and the hood to coast relay race the past few years.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:08 AM
2

As they should they’re her kids not some rando from Bumble.. SMDH 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 06:55 PM
2

My ex waited near 90 days from when she filed to when she served me so don’t think it’s not coming, it is. She’s clearly trying to get all her ducks in a row first as should you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 07:03 AM
1

☝️ This 💯. “However, the marriage had been dead for years” is just OP’s justification for cheating. All the “sorrys” and “I know it was wrong” was just wiped away by saying that. It shows you’re clearly not taking accountability. OP stayed in his marriage until he found a life boat because he like many others are afraid to be alone.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 02:41 AM
1

She wants the benefit of the extra income for her new life with the kids while you’re far away working your ass off. For her to say your trapping her is bs. You took a new opportunity under the belief the family would follow your move out there, now that she’s considering separation or divorce that is the catalyst for you reevaluating your career options. She is trying to trap you and back you into a corner, this is on her not you and I’d be clear about that if she mentions it again in conversat…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 09:45 PM
-1

Feel like there’s more to this story. Giving her a monthly amount to live off of feels like controlling behavior. 🚩
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 03:22 AM
7

This is all par for the course. The wayward spouse will villainize you to justify their behavior, there is such a thing as an affair fog. Her indecision or unwillingness to communicate what she wants is a decision if she realizes it or not. Don’t settle for being her backup option, if it’s not a hell yes it’s a hell no. Let her come to you, but plan and prepare like she’s never coming back.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 11:54 PM
3

Been with my current gf for 18 months, she makes more than me and is obsessed with me and is pushing for us to move in together. We’re both divorced and have one child same gender and nearly same age from our previous marriage. A big insecurity of most men is their financial status, as long as you’re confident in yourself and make decent money and you’re ambitious and trying to better yourself making less isn’t a deterrent for a lot of women.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 01:28 AM
3

This ☝️ 💯. You choosing not to be with her/breaking up the family is the consequence of her decision, not yours.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 03:58 PM
2

Oregon is a no fault divorce state so do as you please. I dated when I was separated, not legally just physically, from my now ex wife. Been in my current relationship and met her while she was only separated from her husband but not yet divorced. She was living in her own place when we met. We also live in Oregon. She was legally divorced a few months later, we’ve been together for 18 months and it’s been the best relationship I’ve ever been in. We both have one child from our previous marriage…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 08:25 PM
5

Considering where it sounds like you’re at right now emotionally, dating should be your last concern. If you do end up divorced you definitely need to take time to heal. Therapy, physical fitness in some fashion whichever you enjoy, spending time with friends and family and coping and dealing with the hard part of being alone and being ok with that. Once you’re ok being alone and starting to enjoy your new norm then it is time to start dating.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:10 AM
1

Happy birthday man! Sorry this year doesn’t feel as special as years past but it will get better, enjoy your day doing whatever you want.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 12:47 AM
2

Let the rest of the group know when you actually have something meaningful to contribute to the conversation 🙄. What he’s going through is completely normal. You “now cry for your freedom” so I’m assuming you’re still married or in a LTR and you likely haven’t experienced a significant loss? Until you have you don’t know what it’s like. Divorce is one of the hardest experiences anyone will go through in their life time.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 09:26 PM
1

Oh bro I have walked that same walk as you so I am speaking from personal experience. I grew up in a extremely toxic and abusive household growing up, my mom and step father were so shitty to each other and taught me no positive examples of how to be in a loving relationship let alone marriage. By comparison my marriage was far and above better what I witnessed growing up but I used their marriage as a bad barometer for what a healthy one should look like. Even though I wasn’t nearly as bad as t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 02:00 AM
3

“You didn’t like me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” is such a toxic mindset. I know that phrase is thrown around a lot but we shouldn’t be giving our worst to our partners.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 10:24 PM
4

Has she said why she can’t be married to you anymore? Things will get better for you slowly one day at a time, but it takes time can’t rush the process no matter how hard you try. Don’t try to convince her of anything because you can’t and you deserve better, you deserve to be with someone who also chooses you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 05:24 PM
4

Hard truth here, you can’t be that great at what you do for your business if you can’t acquire new clients. I think your marriage could be salvaged but you have to put yourself in discomfort to save it, i.e. you need to get a full time job until your business can pay all the bills. Losing your job during covid isn’t your fault but it sounds like you’re not willing to humble yourself to get any job you can which is what you need to do right now. Get a full time job that will pay the bills, work o…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 10:18 PM
1

This is dead on accurate.. I confronted my ex multiple times when I suspected she was cheating and wanted a separation, I even encouraged her to expedite the process if she wanted to be with someone else but she denied, lied and deflected. I eventually found irrefutable proof and she finally admitted to it. Confirming my suspicions was hella rough but ultimately glad I knew the truth as it helped me keep her true character in perspective and did help me move on. Based on what OP has said about h…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 03:10 AM
18

Life is full of coulda, woulda, shoulda’s.. but damn man you seriously gave her too damn much, how much was your house worth when she bought you out at $100k?? You let her screw your over big time friend..
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 10:51 PM
7

Harsh advice here, suck it up you got kids that need you! Suicide is a selfish way out. If your ex is as bad as you say they will need you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 10:20 PM
0

Takes 2 people*
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:10 AM
1

What?? You mean people are free to make decisions for themselves? Who approved this?! I hate that saying it’s so dumb. Yes it takes people to make a relationship but one person can unilaterally end said relationship. Such is life. Life’s not a linear journey it’s full of ups and downs. Those lulls is where your character is forged for better or worse.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:10 AM
4

This is dog shit advice.. don’t listen to this guy please.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 10:49 PM
8

Accept that you’ll never know everything. Even if she actually disclosed everything the trust is still broken you’ll always have doubts.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 01:01 AM
18

She hasn’t taken any accountability for the emotional affair. She didn’t come clean and confess what was going on you had to catch her to find out about it. Now she’s trying to reverse engineer a justification for the affair by seeing if “she can forgive you”. I don’t know your marital history and what all transpired but she’s not genuinely giving you guys a chance she’s just up in the mountains playing house with her family. She’s shown absolutely no remorse for what she’s done. Be strategic wh…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 04:12 AM
1

Dude you come across as so conceited.. That’s great you have a high paying job, truly it is. But it also sounds like your entire personality and sense of self worth centers around it. Life isn’t a linear journey and shit happens, I worry what will happen to your sense of self worth if you were to suddenly lose your job for one reason or another. Also sounds like you didn’t do shit that Sunday night lol. You should have gone out and had a good time!
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 04:53 PM
6

Honestly it doesn’t sound like you handled the situation well at all. I understand it’s frustrating her friend was running late but that’s not your date’s fault. When hanging with a group of people (regardless of gender) there’s always one person that’s going to run late. Curiously what did you end up doing with that time that was disrespected? Did you cure cancer? Rescue puppies from a burning building? Volunteer your time at a homeless shelter feeding the hungry? Or did you sit at home and pou…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 01:49 AM
-1

I am one of those stupid guys 😂. I’m also divorced and we have a lot in common and great chemistry. Met her on tinder after she had separated and was living on her own but prior to her divorce. 8 months in and so far so good.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 02:45 AM
1

Women and marriage aren’t the problem here my dude, you are. It sounds like you rely on your partner’s success, love and attention for your own validation and sense of worth. After your first marriage didn’t workout you then went and found another woman exactly like your first wife and married her in a big damn hurry instead of vetting her and understanding who she really is. Don’t listen to all the jaded, bitter and frankly emotionally immature guys here who claim “she’s not yours it’s just you…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 10:19 PM
1

Dude don’t listen to these guys here, they’re all jaded af. Her previous body count doesn’t matter, there are no guarantees in life no matter who you’re with. Have fun and live for the now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 02:46 AM
8

Whatever you say Morphius.. 🙄. If his wife wasn’t insecure, likely codependent and lacked confidence she’d kick his ass to the curb. Cheating on your spouse is a form of emotional abuse, victims don’t stay with their abusers because they “respect their frame”.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/23 09:15 PM
4

You had a kid I fail to see how it’s messed up you have to pay child support? 🤔
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 03:53 AM
18

Most women will stay with wayward husbands but wayward wives won’t stay with husbands. Her wanting you after your confession has nothing to do with your frame as your wife likely lacks confidence, is insecure and afraid of being alone. Nothing more.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 03:38 AM
-4

It’s normal to sleep with your stbxw, it’s part of the decoupling process. As you’ve experienced though it can throw you for a loop. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:00 AM
10

Your father abandoned you he’s not an alpha he’s a deadbeat. Certainly not someone to emulate.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/23 12:33 AM
0

That’s great that you have big goals! A prenup should really be used to protect any assets you’ve acquired prior to the marriage not during. Maybe you’re not ready for marriage just yet?
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 12:49 AM
1

Couldn’t the inverse be said about him? If he trusts her and trusts they’ll stay together then why does he need a prenup?
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:11 PM
-1

Realistically you don’t have enough wealth nor earn enough to justify a prenup. Plus you requiring a prenup shows your fiancé you’re not fully committed to the marriage and can back out at any time. Unless you’re already a millionaire a prenup isn’t justified.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:09 PM
1

Until someone’s been served paperwork you are free to do with your accounts as you please. Remove her from all your shit, start new accounts in your name alone, get a lawyer asap.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 05:31 AM
3

Respectfully, this is the most ignorant comment ever. “This is a prime example of the modern woman..” She’s a grown ass adult and so is he, people grow and their wants and needs change over time that’s completely normal. Quit villainizing women for being human. Final thought, you sound resentful that YOU chose to have a kid. I say you because YOU knew the risks when you slept with her, just because she chose to have the baby doesn’t absolve you of the fact that YOU were the one to get her pregna…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 09:44 PM
1

We all felt that way at one time, I was no exception that thought would make me sick to my stomach. Now 2 years post divorce I’m giving my ex high fives and wishing her luck on her dates lol. I genuinely mean it to. I now know we are better coparents than romantic partners and had she not left I wouldn’t have dated some of the amazing women that I have or currently am. It takes time though no way around it just gotta go through it. Hobbies and exercise help.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 03:18 AM
0

At least you know you’re the asshole god damn.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 01:46 AM
5

No matter what she says did or didn’t happen this will always be a big question in the back of your mind going forward and you’ll likely never be able regain that trust that was once there. That can cause you to carry a lot of anxiety that is not healthy for your overall well being. I would recommend ending things before you’re in too deep into the marriage or have a child with her. She likely has second guesses about your marriage herself but at least if you end things now you do it on your ter…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 07:14 PM
2

I know or sucks and you feel like shit right now. Go to the gym, therapy and be there for your kids and don’t talk badly about their mom in front of them. Definitely get a lawyer. Try to sleep well knowing she will absolutely regret her decision and try to come crawling back at some point. If what she was doing wasn’t so fucked up it would honestly be laughable. You’ll come out ahead of this.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 09:09 PM
1

If you’re in a no fault state like you said earlier then her cheating is immaterial to the divorce process so finding out the truth would only be for you. A divorce is purely a business transaction, I suggest you start your negotiations from the top down. Don’t do or say anything until you speak to your attorney next week. Regarding your ex, most wayward spouses have the rosiest of pictures for life after divorce like in your case her believing she gets to keep the house. If neither of you can b…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 04:20 PM
-2

Don’t listen to☝️bitter mentality. Shit happens. It’s ok to hurt and feel down for a while but just keep moving step by step and you’ll make it through it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 08:29 PM
2

As in come by her attorneys office? Fuck that tell them to mail the paperwork to you. Sounds like a set up if you walk in there without your own legal representation.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 06:53 PM
4

It’s likely just performance anxiety and the nerves that come along with sleeping with someone new for the first time in 20+ years. My first time being intimate with someone new I had a similar experience, may have been a bit of whiskey dick but I took no chances and also got pills just in case lol. Never ended up needing them as to at turned out to be an isolated incident but have them just in cases. Also, you didn’t blow anything with this girl. I’m sure she’s great but if she decides she isn’…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 01:36 AM
4

Married but living separately successfully is an oxymoron. If you’re thinking of living separately I’m sorry to say the marriage is already over. Whoever suggested the idea is already contemplating divorce this is them just testing out those waters. Rip the band aid off and start moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 12:37 AM
12

I agree with others recommendation to get a paternity test. If you don’t think she’s capable I’d cheating I’ll just reaffirm what you already know, but in the off chance the baby isn’t yours you get a clean break.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 03:23 AM
-1

I agree with all that you said but the “she’s not yours, it was just your turn” line, it’s garbage. No one owns anyone else, that’s been illegal for a while now even in Texas lol. Truth is people will come and go in all our lives, classmates, colleagues, friends, family and even those we marry. It’s just a different season of life that’s all.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 02:32 AM
1

This is the wrong group to ask that, most men in this chat are incapable of emotional growth, self awareness and taking accountability. There’s inherit risk in everything that you do. Decide for yourself, when and if you feel ready you’ll know.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 07:42 PM
1

For two weeks to the minute track how long you play video games per week on average. If it is excessive now you know, hardly long at all ammo next time she brings it up. If it’s spot on what you say, then tell your wife, respectfully lol, you won’t stop playing games because you need it to decompress and ask what else you could do to reciprocate for her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 01:24 AM
1

True. But women have plenty to lose as well, those that didn’t pursue their own careers while in the relationship are often times entering the workforce without significant work experience or skills to earn a decent living of their own so they are highly disadvantaged, thus why marital assets including Mens retirement accounts are split upon separation. You can say that’s unfair all you want or that was her decision, but if he stayed married to her knowing this was the case he’s just as responsi…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 11:19 PM
3

Sad, but accurate. She’s displaying all the signs of an affair. And she’s manipulated into setting her divorce up by selling the house and moving her closer to her family as a shared expense instead of her own financial burden that comes along with starting over. 🫤
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 10:43 PM
-1

I don’t think it’s as nefarious as you make it out to be. If she grew up in a similar household as to what they have now her subconscious may just recognize this as “how things are/supposed to be” and it wasn’t until OP said he was done that she actually recognized something was wrong and needed fixed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 10:21 PM
7

Truthfully part of me questions the validity of this post entirely. If it is a true story, dude as soon as the divorce is final delete her number, block her on everything and remove her from all social media, maybe even consider changing your number. Just fall off the grid entirely. The truth is, this divorce is about her.. her wanting to explore other options as in other relationships and men. 100% this and nothing else. As calm, cool and collected you’ve been for the most part through now, I d…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 03:46 AM
1

There are two sides to every story and I would be curious to hear you’re wife’s side but ultimately her side doesn’t matter as you are both clearly not healthy in a relationship together. You need to file for divorce. Take time to heal. Seek therapy. Start over.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 06:09 PM
2

Can’t eat a robot to survive though.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 05:58 PM
-5

Get over yourself, you’re not Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos you won’t have millions of dollars in jeopardy. Women risk just as much by getting married, they could end up having kids with a guy that turns into a lazy ass hat and now they’re stuck sharing kids with a bum indefinitely. You’re not the prize, she isn’t the prize, we’re all humans with equal amounts to gain or lose when committing to a relationship. Sincerely, The divorced dude who was cheated on and started over 🤷‍♂️.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 05:55 PM
3

We all thought our ex-wives weren’t like that, who marries someone thinking “yeah they’re totally the type to cheat” and still marry them. 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 11:48 PM
9

Same. Not just in the wife though but in the OP as well. OP you’re so hung up on acting like an alpha and reading way too much into the red pill non sense have you ever stood back and just thought about acting like a normal human being for once? Quit trying to be what you think you should be and just be yourself. You’re trying to be logical and strategic but you’re playing an emotional game with humans who have real feelings that aren’t always black and white. Respectfully, if there’s anyway I c…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 09:10 PM
1

This is the worst advice ever! 😂🤣
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 01:36 AM
3

I’m confused so what are you “having second thoughts” about? Just delaying to file until the child in question is born to determine paternity? I would talk to a lawyer and see what they advise. I’m no lawyer but not sure you’d be able to sue for reimbursement of her tuition.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/22 07:49 PM
3

What they said ☝️. I’ve also gone through a bad divorce, she cheated and left for the other dude, I wasn’t working, had no money, no life because it happened right after Covid hit in 2020, felt overwhelmed, stressed more than I ever had been, literally couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to turn to substances as my coping mechanism. So I started exercising.. which I highly highly recommend you do as well. I’m not here to tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. Exercising causes your…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 01:42 PM
23

Do not give her the marital home, just sell it and split the proceeds.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/22 11:46 PM
1

If her drinking is that bad you AND your son should move out. Don’t move out by yourself and leave him to handle and care for his mother by himself you will only be hurting your relationship with him. Have you considered having an intervention with her friends and family to discuss her addiction?
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 10:22 PM
1

After my separation started I didn’t date for just over a year. During that year I did therapy weekly, exercised daily, fixed my nutrition and changed careers. Once my divorce was finalized I started dating again. Was in a relationship for just over 6 months but it wasn’t the right person for me so I ended it. Dated a bit more, then took 6 months off of dating just due to burn out. Starting to date again now but not forcing or rushing into anything, if I find someone cool, if not oh well just mo…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 05:41 PM
3

Exactly. It sounds like she hasn’t been working because she’s been home taking care of their 3 kids.. I also believe the OP, like most people tend to, are over estimating his value and likely thinks he’ll score some young hottie once he leaves his wife. Completely overlooking the fact that he’ll be a divorcee with 3 kids and huge spousal and child support payments, not exactly a great catch most single ladies are looking for. Curiously OP, have you had any of these discussions with your wife? Li…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 02:00 AM
3

☝️Yes, this! A marriage is a partnership but a divorce is a business transaction and I recommend negotiating from the top down, not from the bottom up. Ask for the moon but know what you’re realistically willing to settle for.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 11:11 PM
3

I would recommend not reading ☝️ those books. Unless you want to develop a jaded and derogatory way of viewing women that is. All that red pill nonsense is tailored for bitter boys that struggle in life while trying to justify why they’re better than women and pretending to be something they’re not. Women are entitled to their partner preferences for better or worse just like guys are. It is what it is and you can’t control that. Guess what guys do it to and every man has just as much baggage as…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 09:23 PM
1

Man.. I’m so sorry that is heartbreaking. I’m sure you have a lot of emotions going on right now yourself but do your best to not say anything disparaging about mom in front of him. If things don’t work out I highly recommend therapy for you and your son. It helps.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 10:48 PM
3

Your son needs you to be strong now more than ever, he was left behind too. I’m sure he’s questioning what he did wrong to make mom leave even though it’s 1000% not his fault.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 01:25 AM
1

My ex wife and I were actively trying to have another kid up until the day she left as well. It’s such a mind fuck I know how you must feel. Be there for your son. Give it a couple days before you do anything. Definitely stop calling her out trying to reach her, she knows your number and where you live she’ll be in Touch ID she wants to. In the mean time surround yourself with loved ones.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 01:22 AM
3

Everyone is different and grieved differently. I still love my ex wife (she cheated) but I don’t think I could ever get back together with her. Not because of her affair per say, but since we’ve been divorced I’ve dated other women and it’s made me realize my ex wife and I were not as compatible as I had once believed. She’s an amazing mom to our daughter, we co-parent well but were not a great fit as a romantic couple. Don’t rush your grief, go through the process. Slowly things will get better…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/22 12:04 AM
1

Except for ☝️ guy that is lol.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 05:58 PM
3

Everyone here is offering their opinions only, highly unlikely anyone is a legal expert or divorce attorney. Your best bet is to consult an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 10:46 PM
1

Go to the gym. Get outside and go for a walk, run, bike ride or whatever. Take your kiddo out to dinners or for breakfast and respectfully ask her to limit her phone usage during these times as you want to spend quality time with her. Restart old hobbies or find new ones, but mainly go to the gym.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 10:21 PM
2

I’m sorry you’re going through this man.. I would definitely encourage that one of you move out as soon as possible. The longer you love together under these current circumstances they more likely a blow up will happen. Sooner she’s out, the sooner you can start your journey of healing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 02:43 PM
8

Not your monkey, not your circus anymore man. You gotta see healthy boundaries for yourself with her. She will continue to lean on you out of familiarity and comfort. You have to look out for you and your kids if you have any.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 01:36 AM
2

She stopped wearing her ring before she moved out so I just snagged it back. I even told her I did when she noticed it was missing, but she never asked for it back. I still have my ring as well, both rings and old pictures of us are out in the garage in a box labeled “Cincinnati”.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 01:39 PM
2

Came here to say this ☝️ as well. Even if one parent only has the child just one more night a year than the other parent they can claim the children as dependents on their taxes while the other parent gets no tax breaks. My vote is that’s what her and her lawyers are aiming for. That or future child support down the road if their mom ever wants to petition the court for it. I also agree with many others here, 50/50 custody was the bare minimum id settle for and I wasn’t going to just give that u…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 06:09 PM
19

If I didn’t have kids, I would have. Since I do, I will not be moving more than 60 miles away for the inevitable future.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 08:24 PM
6

☝️ This. But also this a journey not a sprint, took me a year to mostly get my head right. At two years out from when it all came crashing down I feel as though I’m in a good place physically and mentally with myself though still room for improvement.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 08:35 PM
5

Everyone will say you can do better, no one will admit here you can also do much worse. Something to consider.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 05:00 PM
9

Don’t listen to all the “red pill” bitter man children in this group. They’ll fault and bash on women all day long but most of them aren’t self aware enough to realize they’re far from perfect themselves. I’m a divorced man, wife cheated and left, it sucks but shit happens 🤷‍♂️. Without more context it doesn’t sound like any of your marriage issues are major and can’t be worked through. Plus you said your wife has made several attempts at im assuming reconciling so it may be worth exploring. I’m…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 04:58 PM
1

They’re your kids! Time to step the fuck up and not roll over man! Who cares how much money her ass hat dad has, let them waste money on lawyers and you just keep dragging it out. It’s a war of attrition not a sprint. Your kids need their father!
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 12:56 PM
5

Here’s my honest advice, you’re not perfect bro and whoever you date or marry won’t be either.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 10:58 PM
3

A marriage is a partnership, a divorce is a business transaction and should be treated like such. Know what the terms are you’d be willing to accept and then negotiate from the top down. Aim for the stars but be willing to land on the clouds.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 05:51 PM
5

Respectfully you sound like you’re whining. Most relationships won’t work out. Out of those 100+ women you slept with that didn’t workout you were the common denominator in that equation so maybe chill a bit before you go bashing an entire gender and have some introspection. I am a divorced dude who’s also had bad relationships and good ones. You’ll never get married but how many dudes start small businesses that have a higher failure rate than marriage 🤷‍♂️.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 12:41 PM
1

Always keep working on myself and moving forward despite what else is going on. Stay open to all possibilities, including getting married again. My marriage failed because of me too not just my ex-wife, she cheated but I still had my faults and I could have done and been better.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 04:02 PM
5

One of the parties doesn’t want the divorce and believes by prolonging it may increase the chance of reconciliation.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 01:59 PM
-1

Don’t be a bitter sap. Most relationships won’t work out. If you’re in a major car accident are you never going to get in a car again? Probably not. Take time to heal, reflect back on things you could have done differently and get back out there.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 10:34 PM
1

You’re foregoing potentially the first 7 years of his life and time with your son that you’ll never get back in order to keep your money? If you made millions once you can do it again. The damage your son could suffer in those 7 years could be irreparable. Quit being selfish and go get your kid back! Man the fuck up.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 10:32 PM
3

Get a lawyer ASAP. Tell her nothing. Even if she’s not cheating, though unlikely, she’s a terrible person and extremely conceited. Be the best dad you can for your kids, don’t speak poorly of her around them. Be their hero.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 04:06 PM
2

You’re human. Happens to us all. Go for a walk, run, gym or whatever to burn off that stress and anxiety. Regroup and try better tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 08:23 PM
7

I’m open to it if I found someone really special. I think too many divorced guys out there are forever bitter. They say they’ll never marry again because of too much risk yet how many of them try to start small businesses that have a higher failure rate than marriage 🤷‍♂️. I say that as a divorcee father of one that basically had to start over from the ground up after my divorce at the age of 38. It sucks, shit happens, it was a really dark time in my life but there’s been a lot of really great …
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 07:15 PM
1

I’m sorry to hear about your situation, I’ve been there myself it’s certainly not easy by any means. Don’t put any more effort into her, basically treat her like a roommate who happens to be the mother of your child, nothing more. She is absolutely without a doubt cheating on you, it’s quite obvious she doesn’t respect you at all whatsoever. The big question is why? Not to bad mouth your spouse but she definitely sounds like a low quality person, at least when it comes to integrity and morals. S…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 06:48 PM
1

Same schedule I have with my ex ☝️. I think the 2-2-3 works out really well and provides a good balance for me with my time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/22 05:17 PM
18

“How the hell do I start?” Step 1. File for divorce and take that bitch to the cleaners.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/22 10:44 PM
5

Document. Everything.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 04:36 PM
5

I waited until I felt ready, for me that was about one year. It never really appealed to me and it was 2020 back when Covid first hit as well. I was also worried about the stigma of dating others while still legally married. The month before my divorce was to be finalized I finally wanted to put myself out there, but I was glad I took that year for myself to decompress and focus on myself.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 02:12 AM
4

Do not feel bad whatsoever. Marriage is a partnership, but divorce is strictly a business transaction and you need to think of it as such. Advocate your fucking ass off for yourself and your kids. You are their father and they need their dad and to spend time with him. I regret not getting child support from my ex who was the bread winner when we divorced. Right now your ex is using top down negotiation tactics, she’s asking for the moon and hoping you’ll settle on the clouds if that makes sense…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 03:42 AM
1

Do you have a lawyer? If not get one.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 01:51 AM
3

Been where you are man and it really sucks.. There’s no quick fix you just gotta put in the time but consider yourself lucky you don’t share kids with her so you can cut her out of your life completely. Delete her number, email addresses, delete all the pictures if you haven’t already, delete her and all her friends/family from all of your social media accounts, block her number on your phone, then keep your head up and eyes forward to the future. If your mutual acquaintances try telling you abo…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 10:01 PM
1

This is pathetic I'm saying this but my wife of 9 years, together for 16 years, cheated and is refusing to leave our house and she just filed for divorce last week. I just found out yesterday. I wish she was begging me to stay but sadly it's me asking for her to stay and work this out. She had been staying at a friends house but came back home because we have a child and there's a mandatory state issued order to stay home. Oh and she still texts the other guy all the time, he promised her an ama…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 03:39 AM
1

Was hoping there would have some words of encouragement here on how to save this sinking ship but in reality I know she’s done. This fucking sucks but my couple close friends I have kept in the loop on this situation have all said the same as everyone here. Never thought she’d do this. Ever.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/20 02:47 AM
1

Hey not super familiar with how to use reddit could you DM me the info?!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/20 08:51 PM
1

I’ve been trying my best but it’s a struggle. She’ll act like we’re besties around me and I eat it up because I want to make this work. She’s fully aware she holds all the power and that I’m chasing her. She had moved into a friends house but recently came back because she’s not comfortable there. Fuck her comfort.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/20 08:13 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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