GildedFirefly Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
8	Sell my small company to create less stress in our family?	ADVICE	GildedFirefly	/r/RedPillWomen	01/10/23 11:31 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
29	Why are all the high value and marriage material men already taken? There are HVM in your age range but many of them find their girlfriends in their friend groups and extended social circle. It’s easier for them to vet women that way. But from your post history, it’s doubtful you’re giving out HVW vibes if you’re an affair partner.	/r/RedPillWomen	11/12/23 03:57 PM
49	Male acquaintance wants to "hang out" That dude is testing the water. Be noncommittal and say your schedule is busy right now. No in-depth explanation needed. No one randomly texts at 1am without ulterior motives.	/r/RedPillWomen	13/11/23 02:07 AM
6	It’s possible to fall in love twice with the same man? Other people gave you reading advise but to answer your other question, yes it’s possible to fall back in love again but you can’t hold onto resentment. Over a long marriage, you both change as people so trying to recreate the past is futile. Instead, work on creating a positive future where you’re growing together instead of apart. A lot of life is monotonous. If you’re chasing the high of early love, you’re always going to be disappointed after a short while because limerence won’t last. Long …	/r/RedPillWomen	10/11/23 01:05 AM
3	"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" I hear you about getting sick of flavors. I now make a once a month mini cooking challenge for myself where I’ll pick a part of the world to try to make dishes from. Thus far we’ve had Venezuelan (husband’s heritage), Indian, Chinese, Spanish, Ethiopian, Scottish, British, Greek, Mexican, and Japanese. Some food explorations are better than others but at least my family is a good sport.	/r/RedPillWomen	07/11/23 05:58 PM
5	"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" I’m a fan of having a few “one pot meals” that you excel in. It could be a slow cooker, pressure cooker, or even stovetop meal, but is less daunting. It’s easier to stick to cooking when every pot in your kitchen isn’t used and waiting to be washed. Get the basics down first and then branch out. Pasta is easy but you can spend time perfecting homemade sauces to completely change the flavor. Martha Stewart’s Cooking School book is a great reference with some recipes too. Working your way through …	/r/RedPillWomen	07/11/23 05:45 PM
30	Cooking for boyfriend. This is a great way to show that you’re wife material. Decide on how often you’d feel like cooking for him; once or twice a week is probably good unless you’re seeing each other a lot more than that. That’s enough to “give him a taste” without you taking on all of the cooking. He should also increasingly do husband things for you so keep a look out for that. You don’t want to get in a situation where you’re cooking all meals for him and he doesn’t escalate his commitment.	/r/RedPillWomen	04/11/23 12:50 PM
3	Advice wanted It’s so easy to lash out at or project onto those around us even though they weren’t the source of one’s hurt. You may want to read Laura Doyle‘s The Empowered Wife to give you some framework for building positive intimacy, and interactions with your husband.	/r/RedPillWomen	27/10/23 07:50 PM
9	Advice wanted You’re reading too much into everything he does and says. There aren’t any secret meanings or secret grudges. Those are things that other women may do but I’ve yet to see a man do them. I’d focus on being quiet whenever you start thinking that he’s upset with you and calm yourself down. In the scenario you mentioned with your toddler, after he said “wipe him then”, you could’ve said “thank you. I hadn’t thought of that yet in this moment.” It completely diffuses the situation and shows appreciat…	/r/RedPillWomen	27/10/23 06:55 PM
14	Tips for Mismatched Humor? From your joke example, this isn’t a liberal vs conservative mindset. I know many conservatives who would never joke like this and they treat people how they’d like to be treated regardless of race, gender, etc. Like you, I wouldn’t find this type of humor funny in the slightest and I’d be worried about potential future children picking up this same mindset. Overall, I don’t think this is an issue where you need to change to find these jokes funny. I’d continue to STFU when they’re made and eval…	/r/RedPillWomen	27/10/23 02:07 PM
8	I’m a formerly poor woman who married into extreme wealth. AMA! Genuine question (no snark or judgement intended) because perhaps I’m misunderstanding: Isn’t OP’s situation the same as meeting at the finish line? He was 40s, twice divorced, prior kids, and already self made when he met her in her late 20s.	/r/RedPillWomen	25/10/23 07:02 PM
2	Talking about marriage but feeling stressed about finances. If I were in your shoes, I’d try to have one more conversation on the topic before you move. Maybe give him a heads up in advance that you want to have a deeper conversation about your future plans. And then lay out your desires and timeline calmly. You’re at a pivot point where you’re about to move and he could get his station preferences to be with you but it’s not guaranteed in the military. If he knows he’s getting out in a few years, now is the time for networking and getting a feel for the…	/r/RedPillWomen	19/10/23 11:02 PM
26	Married women, can you please respond to some questions? It would be very helpful to me and other women in my situation I’ve been married for 17 years so I’m not sure if it’s relevant for current dating but I’ll still answer. I’m a millennial who got married right out of college. It was pre-social media. Facebook came out when I was in college but everyone used IM from their computers because texts were 10 cents each, lol. 1 I was clear with my husband about my expectations. I only dated for marriage. I socialized with guys in my friend group but my husband is the only one I accepted a date from. I suppose I was …	/r/RedPillWomen	19/10/23 03:16 PM
9	Talking about marriage but feeling stressed about finances. I think you’re potentially worrying too much about him and his job prospects. You said military and he has a degree so he’s an officer? If so, there are recruiting companies that help place junior military officers in civilian companies if they’re transitioning out (Cameron-Brooks is one). Many of those companies don’t care what your degree is in or what your job in the military was. They know you have a good work ethic, aren’t late, can confidently talk to higher ups, and can be trained for wha…	/r/RedPillWomen	19/10/23 02:38 PM
3	Lab grown diamonds I have both mined, lab, and even a moissanite. My original engagement ring was a small mined diamond since we were super young when we got married. Then on our 15 year anniversary, husband spoiled me with a 2ct center lab grown diamond 3-stone ring which is amazing. After having our child, he gifted me a moissanite in a bezel setting that I can wear when I’m running around with the kiddo and my ring might get knocked. Mined diamonds aren’t rare and you have the whole “blood diamond” thing to con…	/r/RedPillWomen	13/10/23 10:54 PM
6	Is marriage inherently emasculating to a man? Marriage doesn’t end half the time. The 50% divorce rate statistic is misleading because it includes the people who keep getting married and divorced multiple times. The serial divorcées with 6+ failed marriages. Those same people also have a lot of red flags that shouldn’t be glossed over when looking for a spouse. The rate is closer to 20% during the first 5 years for a first marriage and closer to 35% overall. Still, those percentages aren’t tiny but it’s far more nuanced than a coin flip. Yo…	/r/RedPillWomen	06/10/23 10:55 PM
9	Is marriage inherently emasculating to a man? In modern day society, only a tiny percentage of the men would be able to fund multiple families successfully. Also, does any man really want to deal with the scheduling nightmare of multiple families? Each wife would be advocating for their own children. It’s not going to be a utopian situation where all the wives get along. This harem business may have occurred at some point in human history out of necessity for survival. Honestly, I’d be worried about the safety of my kids from the other wive…	/r/RedPillWomen	06/10/23 06:52 PM
6	Is marriage inherently emasculating to a man? They’re both related though. The reason primates have harems is to ensure his genetic lineage. Death at a young age isn’t uncommon so having a lot of offspring helps ensure that at least a few make it to reproductive adulthood. It’s less about needing to mate with lots of options and more about making sure the lineage stays intact. The male also sticks around and protects his children and females. So saying males need the variety alone doesn’t follow the biologic reality of Great Ape family stru…	/r/RedPillWomen	06/10/23 06:31 PM
5	Is marriage inherently emasculating to a man? Wouldn’t his biological mating goals be to produce the strongest offspring that will then have success at keeping his lineage going? It doesn’t make sense that his goal would be to have have 5 children, each with different baby mamas, who will raise their child as a single mom. That’s not going to produce a strong outcome. Instead, the man could choose the best woman he can, have (likely, but not always) fewer offspring, but they’ll be raised in a stable environment where the man can make sure t…	/r/RedPillWomen	06/10/23 06:06 PM
27	Is marriage inherently emasculating to a man? In our social circle at least, it’s more masculine for the man to have an adoring wife and family rather than a rotating door of women. It also helps with the man getting promoted at work and his overall professional reputation. Sure, the other guys may be fine hanging out with Chad one-on-one because he’s a fun dude, but when it comes to family-oriented events, the wives have a lot more input on the guest list. They may invite him out of obligation a few times but if he’s constantly bringing a …	/r/RedPillWomen	06/10/23 04:42 PM
14	Those of you who waited until marriage to have sex, was it worth it? And those who did not, was no big deal? I didn’t wait until marriage to have sex but did lose my virginity to my husband (then boyfriend) freshman year of college at age 18. He’s 3 years older (2 grades) than me and we dated for 6 months beforehand. It worked out that we continued dating throughout college and got married after I graduated. I am happy he’s the only person I’ve been with. I wasn’t his first; pretty sure I’m his 5th. While I didn’t have religion as my reason, I only wanted to date for marriage. So I socialized in large …	/r/RedPillWomen	05/10/23 11:25 PM
8	told friends I never say no to sex A lot of people may have responsive desire and don’t realize it. Yes, you can have periods of spontaneous desire where one initiates but also easily get in the mood if you’re open to trying. It does take a mentality shift to have your default go to “yes, let’s try” instead of an automatic “no, I’m not in the mood.” From your post, it sounds like that may be what’s going on for you but your friends mistook it as him forcing you and being uncaring.	/r/RedPillWomen	04/10/23 01:00 PM
3	Sell my small company to create less stress in our family? My friends aren’t high earners but are married working moms, except for the one single lady. I met most of them during the course of my career and have kept in touch. I agree that they likely don’t have the experience to advise in this situation. Funnily enough, my only full-time SAHM friend agreed with my husband that I should sell. I do a weekly walk-and-talk with her. She is on another level completely and grew up in high society. She did mention that I could volunteer with her if I wanted so…	/r/RedPillWomen	02/10/23 07:00 PM
2	Sell my small company to create less stress in our family? I appreciate your concern but it’s not that drastic. This issue has only come up recently so it hasn’t dragged on. I don’t think I made that clear in my original post. At most, I spend 2-3 hrs working on it while my son is in school. I brought up my stress to my husband recently and he’s the one who suggested selling it which I hadn’t even considered before. Its taking me a moment to wrap my head around it but the more I think about it the happier selling makes me. We’ve been each other’s bigges…	/r/RedPillWomen	02/10/23 03:17 PM
3	Sell my small company to create less stress in our family? Thank you for this perspective. I need to reframe it in my mind that selling is a success instead of a failure. The upside of this learning experience is that it’s given me clarification on what I enjoy doing. I love the art creation/creative expression side of things. I can always do that to have something that’s mine without needing to take on the things I dislike.	/r/RedPillWomen	02/10/23 03:03 PM
2	Sell my small company to create less stress in our family? Thanks. We have insurance, savings, and don’t overextend ourselves. We live modestly despite his salary. Even during my career, I was only making about 20% of what he does so it’s not likely I’d be able to replace his income in any situation. We’d need to live off short term disability, long term disability, or life insurance plus whatever small income I’d earn. My parents are great and would definitely help us out too.	/r/RedPillWomen	02/10/23 12:41 PM
5	Sell my small company to create less stress in our family? That’s true. One is single and the others are married. I’ve heard a few tidbits about problems they’ve had but none of us divulge much about the inner workings of each others marriage. I could see their comments being more about their own contingency plans.	/r/RedPillWomen	02/10/23 02:05 AM
2	Sell my small company to create less stress in our family? Thanks for this perspective. I was passionate about my first career but was more than ready to leave it when our child came along. Plus, at that time my husband was working his way up the ladder so kids were put on pause. I agree that I can start something that’s mine anytime. Maybe it’ll be even better since I now know what parts of business I do and don’t like and can stick to the more creative low-stress side of things. The resume gap comment from my friends rubs me the wrong way because the …	/r/RedPillWomen	02/10/23 01:16 AM
1	Happily partnered folks, does your (heterosexual) relationship seem at all similar to RP beliefs or is very different? We’ve been happily married for 17 years now. We got married young (me 22, him 25) and were non-religious. I think we both have some qualities that TRP talks about as desirable but it’s not a focus. Him: He’s tall (6’1), super handsome, and athletic. Like a less muscled, salt-and-pepper bearded Ben Affleck. He’s outgoing and extroverted. He now is a top 10% income earner although when we married we were both broke. He had been with 5-ish women before me I think. Me: I’m short (5’4), dirty blonde,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/09/23 07:37 PM