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GlitteringContact8 Archive

View 3 posts and 186 comments by GlitteringContact8 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Update by me. Insert Clownface! Asked him about meeting his friend last Friday. Huge text about his insecurities regarding my future (he’s settled in the city where we are now, I might relocate thinking about doing a phd), and he is not sufficiently sure about me. cue to me remembering 2-3 yellow flags & hunches I ignored because it was overall a good experience as described above we are not speaking now the mask drops after ca 3 months another proof that FDS is right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 09:19 PM
10

Youre right, let me explain in more detail. I am doing this with my eyes wide open - for me, a relationship is optional because men are optional lol. He’s my 2nd sexual partner after 3 years of being single, perusing FDS and after a couple of weeks I just felt like it. I’m vetting a lot but I’m not putting pressure, I’m watching what he’s offering, I might mention it in the next few days but if he doesn’t offer that I meet his friends/family soon I’m out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 09:12 AM
87

Im currently vetting someone from tinder. I installed it out of pure boredom. He is very sweet and there are many green flags so far. Vetting continues Our first date was at the beginning of december. He is handsome, conscientious, has a very good public sector job, is family-oriented (visits home regularly, speaks to siblings often). 2 years older than me. From the start - initiated texting, respectfully, taking me to a nice restaurant on our first date, paid without hesitation - consistent com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 09:14 PM
10

If conversation is effortful throw him out lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 05:56 PM
84

LOL reminds me of my ex who interrupted me trying to correct my French when speaking to a French tourist. He had never taken a French class in his life..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 08:44 AM
152

Have an active life, and observe how much he initiates communication/calls - if he’s genuinely interested in you, he’ll be able to maintain your connection. Does he text you every day etc. Don’t be home at 6pm sharp because you’re waiting for a call from him etc. 7 dates is just a few weeks. Also watch out - as Natalie Lou points out in the baggage reclaim sessions, frequent texting including short bursts multiple times a day can really build “fake” trust & intimacy. Ideally keep seeing others s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 05:58 PM
85

She actually explained this super well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 10:41 PM
14

So pathetic. It’s YOUR baby too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:24 PM
6

Can only recommend the notes app. I update it after every meeting to keep track of the guy I’m currently seeing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 11:08 PM
20

Up the junction by Squeeze. Super catchy and hilarious. Scrote impregnates girlfriend he faked a future with in mouldy basement flat and is desperate when she moves on to a better guy with their baby girl because he’s a drunk. Complaining how she never writes a letter lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 04:15 PM
32

Yes. Mine made hand pressed orange juice. Which was sweet. But is not exactly tons of effort either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 09:24 PM
1

Richard Armitage is an incredible man and actor, kind, humble, respectful, strong character and he’s also ridiculously handsome. That’s one I would look out for. His role in North and South set standards in men for me forever. Unfortunately I only got to know his works and wholesome role model for men after spending 4 + years with my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 12:31 AM
42

Not a single sentence about her, really. Just the idea of her in all the other girls he fucked. No mention whatsoever of anything about her in particular. You could switch the name and it would describe any relationship the girl walked out of. I bet he googled soppy pathetic love letters on the internet and printed that out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 07:38 PM
1

Lauren Messiah on YouTube also has great style advice! I’d also focus on skin care over make up. Makes you look healthy, prevents signs of ageing etc - why spent hundreds on make up to cover skin imperfections if you can get clear skin buying skin care products with that money instead? Also growth serum for your lashes and accentuating your brows will get you very far. Don’t forget the SPF either!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 10:58 PM
10

So adorable!! Goals!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 10:51 PM
30

As men cannot be counted on accepting a „no“ I now proceed to ask him if I can bring my non existing fiancée or husband to such meetings. depending on the situation. Of course this does not teach them to leave one alone respectfully.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 09:17 AM
1

I‘m two thirds through my 20ies. 20 year olds are CHILDREN to me. The prefrontal cortex isn’t matured until you are around 25. That’s just ridiculous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 10:05 PM
1

Amazing analysis. So much material for the handbook!! I briefly dated what I now believe to be an emotional fuckboy at work. Of course he‘d want to be seen with my gorgeous self for an ego boost and to build the… soft harem/emotional harem. Your post confirmed that for me again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 10:51 PM
33

Spot on. But it can be difficult when events coincide. I started antidepressants the same time I started my leeching manipulative but superficially charming and eloquent ex. fresh in Uni. Such a mistake
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 11:18 PM
26

Reminds me how my ex also clearly refused to take a stance against physical punishment of children. Saying how sometimes it may be necessary. Massive, massive red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 09:51 PM
42

Lundy Bancrofts Why Does He Do That has a section on it that’s useful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 10:30 AM
25

What is he good for if not being able to do the basic evolutionary task which is protecting you from possible danger??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 09:53 AM
9

you feel like you're overreacting, never ever ask for a man's reassurance PREACH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:57 PM
6

Planet of the apes (TM)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 07:14 PM
65

I feel this. I’ve only truly been attracted to a handful of men in my life so a few years can go by until I meet one. Then self control is hard because they are just incredibly rare but chances that they are LV are high. The ones I met were either in a relationship already or turned out to be assholes or emotional fuckboys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 08:48 PM
5

Triggered!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 07:11 AM
145

Then being sulky if you were not performing his personal planner functions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 06:28 AM
13

Poor Baby. Such soulful beautiful eyes. Rest in peace
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 06:53 PM
8

Don’t be my cousin either who is 29, living with her boyfriend age 40 in a (not great) flat she could not afford on her own because she’s neglected getting a degree putting odd jobs in bars before her future and then complaining how broke she is. She’s completely financially dependent on him. His means are modest. I don’t know him well, he seems nice enough. Neither of them want marriage or kids. Her choice but what’s for sure is that she can only maintain herself and just barely so because she’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 05:39 PM
2

free therapist to my emotionally constipated "male friends". So true! Drop energy leeches who are only secretly trying to get in your pants. My male friend brother project frequently referred to me as as mum. We were the same age. Gross!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 05:06 PM
20

Amen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 09:52 PM
14

„Youre too good for me“ „you’re a much better person than I am“ Correct Don’t let them use it as an excuse for the shit they do to you later on. This is their warning and you are fair game from now on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 10:40 AM
2

If she loves dancing so much, why not just dance professionally at a regular club?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 10:30 AM
4

Triggered. So bad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 07:44 AM
35

You know. You say he knows if he lies you are not giving him chances. Yet you are and he’s coming up with shady excuses and explanations about his Instagram and search functionalities. BS. Don’t be gaslit or blinded by this. The point of boundaries is enforcing them. You aren’t and he’ll keep walking all over you with more “rational explanations”. In the Last 24hrs there was an FDS post that showed how vile and disgustingly men speak of prostitutes. Sex work is toxic. Porn is toxic. And your boy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 06:10 PM
9

Thank you so much. This really helps explain how my ex manipulated me. First relationship, no standards regarding behaviour from men, anxious and shy, introvert and really impulsive and young, plus in a recent depressive phase when we got together. And this analysis. Never thought about the introvert part. it all fits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 08:29 PM
1

Her laugh is amazing and the rat shit comparison is on point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 09:47 PM
1

No?? What sort of question is this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 05:19 PM
6

So “more successful, savvy and driven than me” is “Impulsive” now lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 08:35 PM
6

Block block block. Unfortunately yes chances are he may have been cheating at least emotionally, but was too much of a coward to break up with you. That’s what happened to me. Give yourself ample time to process but block both of them so you won’t be tempted to investigate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 04:11 PM
17

he identifies as WHAT??!!! this is nothing but sickening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 10:49 PM
32

That and reading some erotica written by women. There are a variety of toys! you’ll find one that works for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 11:35 AM
25

you’re celibate until you’ve sufficiently vetted the HVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 11:33 AM
6

This is such a horror story. I am sorry you had to experience this. Thank you for Shari g your lessons with us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 08:20 AM
88

This is perfect and I’m triggered ​ “I’m sorry you got offended“ raising your voice as soon as I voice my criticism before I say I’m sorry I’m so irrational, apologizing for the violence „that’s ok, I love you“
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 10:11 PM
2

Thank you!! so sweet. I love FDS. Nothing but support :) :) he did have some good sides. For example he was very empathetic... but that also made him extremely good at manipulating me. It’s been 2.5 years though :) stay single in uni ladies. That’s what I’d say
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 05:56 PM
3

yes and I’m thankful every day for knowing better now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 07:33 AM
16

And he was SO mysogynistic too and relying on his single elderly mom, who worked in a super market, for additional financial support
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 10:17 PM
31

not in debt but I easily spent 2k gbp on food for two when feeding his broke ass through Uni because „potential“ + 2k to travel to his place multiple times he got a super prestigious job after graduation and suddenly turned „confused“
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 06:30 PM
2

Mom and sister back up is spot on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 02:58 PM
9

Tom looks so sweet!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:04 PM
2

Oh no I’m sorry to hear it. Please seek medical advice to prevent escalation. Perhaps there are some smoothies or drinks to get the nutrients in? My appetite got better as I recovered emotionally. I had some episode of disordered eating a few years prior but I love food and snacks so it was completely unexpected, was my first breakup. What helped me in the emotional recovery was to go cold turkey no contact and put EVERYTHING which reminds you of him away. At that point I still thought my ex was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:59 PM
2

jesus Christ. Stay safe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:01 PM
6

Yes please eat, and try to be healthy your body needs energy to deal with the trauma... all if you can of course, I completely lost appetite for a few weeks like 4kgs in a month. Put it back on and had a healthy weight throughout but in case there has been previous trauma or disordered eating that’s something to look out for as hard as it is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 12:36 AM
54

How old is he? That will shape Amy advice that can be given in this situation. That’s really creepy and disheartening
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 12:31 AM
3

Movie taste can reveal sexist humour, that’s true, not 100 percent safe but similar to favourite comedians which are also indicative of downplaying sexism and misogyny. My nvm extremely misogyn ex loved Borat and Louis ck for example
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:24 PM
16

„a pussywhipped simp”!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:51 PM
12

First timeline your life you didn’t do something for you?? Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:50 PM
3

Yes!! But you dont need to justify yourself. If they don’t see it BYE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:44 AM
10

He didnt deserve that hug....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:44 PM
11

Yes it’s so disgusting. it’s definitely gotten worse and I won’t be surprised if this summer will see a spike in rapes and depravity as societies open up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:40 PM
39

My personal favorite “sorry you got offended”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 03:48 PM
3

It is so hard to find though.... my ex was had great girth and 8 inches and it just looked perfect that is the only thing I miss about him. Such a waste. I am pretty sure he had some bouts of ED though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:28 PM
14

That’s fine I can live with that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:17 PM
3

The Audacity literally has no limits
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:34 PM
29

Omg I feel that xD he was my first. I only realized much much later after we broke up he only re-enacted what he’d seen in porn. No Kissing, very very reluctant oral, nothing, I kid you not. I think I only noticed it too late because he was admittedly very well equipped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 08:45 PM
42

I never thought that could be the reason behind my much higher drive...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 08:17 PM
19

Yes that put it beautifully too u/Partypuppers, also what u/lskfjd743 said! the point is men use their career to attain status and attract women, but if a woman gets a promotion and not him he will despise that woman because she blocks his access to „status“ and therefore, more women. Hence his decrease in sexual market value, so to say. The same is true for other men they compete with but due to misogyny it has got an extra sting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 07:15 PM
63

Wow. “only“ dishes, cooking, groceries, laundry? That takes 15-20 hrs each week depending on the size of the household. and that’s without the cleaning. Such an ass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:06 PM
2

Omg. I thought soppy Christmas sms we’re bad but here we go
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:02 PM
37

If you think anything above a coffee date is gold digging there is clearly no gold to dig whatsoever, in any sense of the word. I don’t want a free meal, I want some minimum evidence you’re not broke such that you leech off ME (I’ve fed my lvm ex through Uni) and that you value my person and time such that I am not meaningless coffee date #384
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:45 PM
18

These last conversation are fcking overrated and unhelpful. Often they are just a final attempt to manipulate the hell out of you so you give him an “absolution“ or accept his “apology“ and will leave you even more traumatized. Stand your ground & walk away even if others think it is “harsh“
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:21 AM
10

Thanks!! Saving this, useful indicators
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 09:24 PM
33

that comparison with chocolate and peanut butter is just really, really off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 06:57 PM
52

Even him giving his money to you is not a telltale sign. I love my grandpa to bits, but even though he gave all of his salary to my grandma, fixing cars in the backyard after hours for pocket money, he was still known as the Casanova around town.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:45 PM
150

Thank you, that is helpful! I agree with you that the standard phrases subtly imply that it is your fault for not matching his preferences. And personally I’ve always felt that even with good intentions behind, that is devaluing and unhelpful. So I’d rather go with... “his efforts do not match my needs“, something along these lines.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 11:17 PM
14

Hun its very hard. You will still love and hate him for a long time but it’s time to pull the plug for good. He has crossed the point of no return, time you reciprocate. Don’t look back
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 03:03 PM
23

I’ve done this all my life, except I don’t look through them directly because that still gives the illusion of eye contact. it has kept unwanted attention from men at a tolerable minimum, I think I started adopting this as a teenager and I’ve internalized it. I didn’t even notice it before reading this post. Can only recommend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 10:05 PM
2

„Bitter“ because you don’t put up with their shit anymore edit “pushy“ if you insist on sth that’s important to you “irrational“ if you have an emotion in response to their shitty behaviour
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:30 PM
2

My ex HATED Sansa from Game of Thrones
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 10:56 PM
8

THIS flashback to 21 year old me who apologized for my “irrationality” when he - made me feel uncomfortable by watching porn -made me upset and disrespected when flirting with other women in front of me (on the day he met my parents for the first time mind you) The logical RATIONAL boy trope is nothing but a manipulation tactic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 10:47 PM
2

Can confirm. Disrespect and leeching off his unsuspecting elderly mother translated to me 1:1
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:31 AM
30

AMEN. this happened to me. When I started getting suspicious about all those work lunches he got defensive. I left his gaslighting ass and never looked back, but I heard they got together soon after, she’s much more docile and naive than I was unfortunately. Didnt stop him from sending a pathetic email about how he loved me a year later when the pandemic hit. From his moms Skype account because thats the only place I had not blocked him on lol Just leave. If you confront him you’ll only be fed w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 11:00 PM
19

A.k.a known as the bare minimum. Why reward that?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:16 PM
10

This would make me so happy and definitely free one to explore cities at night without any safety concerns or second thoughts. It would b3 fantastic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 11:16 PM
20

they don’t need a Woman, they actually need a therapist. Without being derogatory. Almost 80% depressed and suicidal? Rejection by pixie dream girl won’t be the sole cause.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 10:57 PM
2

OWNED. I love her “hm hm“ in the beginning. And his bitchy tone. Glorious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 10:51 PM
9

So triggering back to my logic girl pickme days....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 10:41 PM
15

As soon as I read “He's a self-professed liberal, male feminist, vegan for the animals, emotional/artistic type.He knows all the catch-phrases for making a woman feel like an equal, valued, respected” I knew he was up to no good.... why do they always have to disappoint! Glad you dumped him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 10:53 PM
10

This exists in actuality???? I am so confused my ex literally failed on all points. Thank you for enlightening me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 10:56 PM
74

“you are used goods by age 27“ trope....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 10:39 PM
3

They are sooooo triggered when you point out she looks like 15....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 12:45 AM
5

It’s literally taken a year and a half (but I stopped contact when coming across FDS) . I just could not get my mind around it because he actually seemed to be SO SO SO much better than all other men in my life. Looking back there were red flags of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 12:16 AM
19

OMG. 1, 2, 4, 6, 9, 10...Thank you so much for enlightening me on this. I briefly dated such a specimen and IT WAS SUCH A MINDFUCK, because I thought that he was the sweetest man I had ever met, and I was CONFUSED AS FUCK and still am when thinking about it sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 12:38 AM
3

yes this. Mid 20ies is young but old enough to marry. is He making any effort to put a ring on it? It’s not about finances, it’s about choosing your life partner at a point in your life you’re sure you want to. Proceed with caution. edit: also just him bringing the topic up or hinting at it isn’t worth shit unless substantiated by clear actions AKA proposal & ring. theyll be coming at you flaunting the idea after a few years because they are disoriented, want to secure you for the wrong reasons …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 10:08 PM
11

Sure fire sign of lvm friends? Using simp to describe any man who does something nice for you without sleeping with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:59 PM
21

Yes write down everything shitty he did. It will keep coming and you’ll be mad at yourself but it’s the first step to recovery
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:32 PM
4

Louder for the emotionally stunted *rational* creatures in the back seats
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 10:59 PM
3

All of this. My ex gaslit me hard on this and made me believe I was irrational, jealous and insecure and immature. Then proceeded to guilt trip me by being sulky at my reaction. I’ll never put up with this shit again. I even watched porn with him and he was annoyed that I did not enjoy it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:18 PM
13

That’s simply trashy! It is a scripted joke. Good reaction from the grandpa but seriously what a man child. Acts like an entitled teenager. And she has this kid with him. So he is a new dad who has no problem disrespecting his wife in the busiest time of her life. The whole thing does not look genuine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 01:17 PM
2

Thank you for the words of encouragement!! I’m thinking of adoption — I would love that much more than resorting to a sperm bank. Nothing wrong with that for those who choose it though. Have you gone through with it??? I’m in my mid 20ies so it’s early days. Distant relatives started fostering a baby girl recently so I’ll definitely hit them up with questions!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 11:00 PM
10

I had that exact same thought today. I would love to do this with my best friend though I am very much straight. It would be a fantastic partnership in terms of life planning and finances. Essentially all legal aspects of marriage in that arrangement but the love//sex part outsourced to the occasional male lover. Who would not be able to touch any aspects of the friend marriage legal framework.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 10:39 PM
55

So many disappoint. It is really hard to process. The only solution is to remain as independent as possible at every stage and to never throw caution into the wind. Which will be super hard once kids get in the mix. My plan is accumulate gold and then adopt or foster first so I have everything I want or need without a man and it‘s in my name ONLY, so that when a man shows up and turns sour he cant take my autonomy away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 10:57 PM
3

My daily routine include browsing FDS before I got to sleep, because it helps me process the perceptions and learnings, just from that I feel I’ve made huge strides in abandoning my pick former me behavior
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 12:05 AM
2

Yes exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 11:53 PM
2

A great tale of caution about the hell your life can turn into if you marry a liar and shitbag. Absolutely heartbreaking but very clever. One reason why I am rethinking children and marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 04:26 PM
21

Same happened to me and I'm glad it did. LVM male friends hold you back and low-key try to manipulate you, or keep you in place, or later your expectations so that possibly one day you could accept someone like them and their misogynist shit. They do not want you to grow just like LVM you’re in a relationship with don’t. I could not believe that I closed my eyes to the sexism and xenophobia and even racism and played therapist for my ex uni friend for so long as well. 2 months after discovering …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 10:13 PM
5

Yes. It just takes time because you realize too much shit in retrospect and get angry at yourself. I was angry in varying intensity , minimum low key mad, for say 1.5 years after 4.5 year relationship. Now after 2 years still sometimes. Cut ALL ties. Walks helped me a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 09:42 PM
5

How was the novel called?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 11:36 PM
0

So happy you are seeing through this bullshit. You know what to do. It's hard but realizing a man has been leeching off your benevolence and draining your resources talent agency or ambition like a vampire is much much worse!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 01:22 AM
2

Earlier this year, when I was fresh into FDS in spring I made a clear statement of what I wanted in a man in terms of character on tinder (caring, honest, ambitious essentially). This was the result: - I got some really thoughtful and long messages from men who really seemed to be looking for a relationship. Whilst arguably I gave them a playbook template, it was nice to receive such messages for a change - and abuse for being "schizophrenic", or "delusional" And my nvm male friend telling me it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 01:11 AM
5

Oh yes. that was my ex. jokes ARE an indication of attitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 11:43 PM
7

I have not seriously dated, or tried to, since finding FDS. But just from reading the posts and the handbook I've made huge strides in spotting patterns, toxic behaviour and red flags and made some healthy decisions for myself (cutting off lvm male friends for good). I'm really happy this space exists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 02:39 PM
2

If paying taxes and holding a job, even if very young was all that was required to gain sufficient insight into men and human romantic relationships, the world would be one big fairytale. Yet this is not so. Let's hope this ends well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 11:11 PM
5

Focus on yourself and your education ruthlessly. Don't make your choice where to move next in your education or career dependent on any man. That building and hyping up that you do for him? That's not a smart investment. If you are lucky your return will be 0. Think twice before getting entangled with someone from a very different family or lower socioeconomic background. It's a hotbed of misunderstanding and resentment. Especially if combined. Just don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:54 PM
22

What a cesspool of mysogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:46 PM
2

It serves lvm in perpetuating their narrative and goals. It is just a sham.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 11:46 PM
5

That sounded EXACTLY like the last pathetic emails my ex sent me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 09:49 PM
23

It’s such a mindfuck. They are deluding themselves so they can still claim that they are the good ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 09:16 PM
8

I don’t like the Collar either it really freaks me out. It seems very wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 10:47 PM
16

He suggested I come over to his flat on Saturday afternoon (it was noon) whilst a flat viewing was going on at his place. We both work from home but let’s go to the work canteen to eat our lunch we bring from home there. Lets go hiking. And drive there in my car. all on OLD. Never met them before. Just texting. You cannot make this shit up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 10:25 PM
9

Genius! love to see using programming and science to bring clarity to a woman’s life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 10:18 PM
6

I have regretted many times that sexuality is not a choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 10:36 PM
3

Triggered by accuracy. Who's the author? The link is broken!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 09:39 PM
2

Spot on about that "I am very smart" type. Can confirm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 09:37 PM
2

Yes, yes, yes. Bill Burr fan. Massive red flag. Can confirm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 09:36 PM
6

Yes. So true. My ex did this all.the.time, justifying it on the basis of "freedom of speech" yada yada. He would get ultra political about it. I never found it funny, but I was used to this from other men in my life. So I did not question it when I was younger. Only later did I then realize: if the joke matches the attitude.... Its not a joke. If the joke matches actions... It is not a joke. It was in plain sight all along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 09:34 PM
1

Exactly my thought
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:19 PM
8

Ugh. That's just so disrespectful. I have a variant: how about you speak your girlfriends mother tongue reasonably well to make rudimentary conversation with her parents and grandparents, but out of laziness let her translate every single word he says when staying with her family for Christmas, Easter etc. Then SUDDENLY switching to being keen to practice that language as soon as a political job offer rolls in for which that language would bring him advantages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 10:13 PM
7

Good. Was about to comment that the prefix "ex" was missing in the title. Massive red flag. Who knows what else he was hating and resenting. You did great. You don't need to forgive him. As said in Dr Foster, you will only forget, not forgive and that's enough. Don't look back. Successful #kickhimout2020.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:05 PM
2

Thank you all! I have adjusted the age range from 28-32, I will think about which pictures would be more suitable! Perhaps some "staged" ones in more fancy locations (though natural) will do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 06:00 PM
5

Im in my mid-20ies and for reason above, only looking between ages 30-35 - as you said very correctly, no lefties, no artsy types, etc etc. (I have done it once for 5 years, I will never do it again.) - I go for those in finance, law, or engineering. I have some photos, they are a little bit blurry but I prefer that for my privacy and safety... alas! The cat it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:30 PM
25

yep. Exactly my thoughts. All covering up for the bro’s & feeling great about it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 09:25 PM
12

Anyone who tells you that's too much either doesn't want you to be happy or is insecure about his own capacities to give you that. Cue my male "friend" who thought it was appropriate for some asshole on tinder to call me out for having roughly above qualities, and thought it was high time I was told my place. We're not speaking anymore since I found FDS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:55 PM
7

Don't be too harsh on yourself. It takes time to gain strength. Prepare, stay safe. Seek and continue seeking help from people who genuinely want your best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:55 PM
15

Closely followed by "still angry?" And "sorry you took it that way"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 06:20 PM
15

The experiment failed. H0, the hypothesis of zero value, could not be rejected. Alternatively, the Bayes factor only gave anecdotal evidence that the true difference could be not zero.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 06:16 PM
4

Don’t let him make you think you’re being irrrational or paranoid. Always trust your gut feeling. He is disrespectful and makes you uncomfortable. if your dignity is not his priority now - it will never be - you came here for the hard opinions, this is one of them. He’s lying. To prevent you from giving him shit for his behavior. He remembers. Maybe he did not cheat but he enjoys their attention so much that he would lie to you to keep it. Again, the question arises: why are men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:29 PM
6

Europe is extremely diverse - huge differences between Eastern and western, southern and northern Europe in dating and men at the very broadest level. Then francophone, Balkan, Baltic...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 07:56 PM
10

Yup. Me too. Such a waste of time!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:07 AM
1

To add, of course we prefer being classy and not snoop. But realistically it also depends on what's at stake for you. As per FDS he's still in the vetting phase. So vetting you do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:09 PM
3

I no longer believe that you can convince people to see things that they don't want to understand. It's always easy to say from outside. But as was said before you got to trust your gut feeling. Don't let yourself be gaslighted. It always starts with "but she is just a friend". It can be difficult to articulate boundaries. Why men love bitches, a FDS book choice, advises that men don't react to words, only to actions. So assuming it is safe for you to do so, next time he's pulling the texting sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:06 PM
7

No need to go! 0 fucks are owed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:57 PM
6

2 months? And if she's real nasty, why are they friends? Unfortunately them wanting you and chasing you for ages does not mean shit. Maybe sometimes. But it does not mean they will treat you right. I wish this was a shortcut to a happy story, a telltale sign. But it is not. It only means that you are a challenge and they are persistent. They really want you but that does not mean they really want to treat you right. Snooping is a last resort. I'm not saying it's right. But it can help you clearl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:49 PM
1

Look at actions. Not words. This is not a success. My ex told me all this and more and he was extremely manipulative. With his honey voice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 07:18 PM
6

This 1000000x
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:13 PM
5

It will be very hard and painful but you can do it. It’s an ocean of Pain. But you’ve got to cross it and You will. in my early twenties I also thought I’d marry my ex. Until two years ago. We discussed it. he pulled similar shit on me. I did not want to see it. Still most men are cowards, absolute cowards and will steal, waste, WASTE your time. Your life is in your hands and you have the agency to walk away. Walk and walk first. you don’t need to wait until he oversteps, thoug/ that can help se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:06 PM
7

You don't need anyone's permission to decide you do NOT want to see him. You don't need to justify it. Stay safe. Don't give him your address.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 02:43 PM
5

Avoid contact with both. Don't stalk their sick media. Block everything. Don't look back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 10:42 PM
2

Ive seen this posted by a male "friend" unironically a few years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 06:52 PM
2

Thank you! You are right! On to better things and better men!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 01:45 PM
14

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. The extent to which men will lie and manipulate you to their face and make you question your own good senses will never cease to baffle me. Yours is a tale of caution but you're not alone in this. It is late here but feel free to chat tomorrow, drop me a message. UK time zone. You'll get through this and you'll be the stronger for it. Virtual hugs. Soon you'll be free. Its a super shitty situation. Whats important is that you remember that very soon, you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 11:36 PM
10

The times other men made fun of my LV manipulative ex for being "pussy whipped" by being affectionate with me (that he was, he could be quite vulnerable) reminds me always how really, really low the bar is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 09:26 PM
2

I guess the fact I'm looking for validation to cut him loose shows I've still got work to do. I guess I can find better friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 05:22 PM
5

I appreciate FDS so much. It has really helped me assess men I know more realistically and made me more confident in setting boundaries. The tell tale sign you've developed some standards? Guy friends (who have now been identified as LVM) start to think that you are becoming arrogant, delusional, and will end up as an old hag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:14 PM
5

Yes. If their ego is fragile - they secretly cannot stand it. They feel it emasculates them, though they have no problem leeching off you for as long as it takes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 10:11 PM
5

Two weeks together. He forgot it was my birthday, bought a bar of chocolate (which we then proceeded to share) from the gas station next door as a gift. 🤡🤡🤡 Two years later - my third birthday with him - he was broke and got upset that I refused to happily pay for my own present (nondescript item for our mutual benefit) Another two years later, he got me a promise "to go to the zoo" for my birthday. I wanted to go to the seaside. It never happened
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:33 PM
23

I agree, we can do better than that - such posts are the reason why FDS gets so much hate. It's no better than shaming a woman because she has AA cups. Its a double standard to shame men for being shallow on the front page and then post this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:50 AM
6

Straight and very appropriately into the junk email!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 09:31 PM
4

Yes. Mine told me that "sunscreen does not work". No words. Also, we were on a trip and I started asking a lady to take a photo of us in French, which I know. She was French speaking. He interrupted me to finish the sentence. He does not speak French. I drove us to a family event. I've driven the route for YEARS. He did not have a valid driver's license at that point. He tried to alert me to a specific sign on the road to correct my driving. In a foreign country in which he did not know the road…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:02 PM
2

Dumb, easy to manipulate, or naive with a little bit of unpredictability to spice it up is preferred by most. Brains are only good as long as they are entertaining, can be used to bolster status, and don't make difficult comments. Bonus points if he can demonstrate to his friends you are smart and then you agree with everything he says in front of them, if they let you speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 04:40 PM
6

I was about to make the exact same comment. If you have to put up an act to pretend that you have some decency and manners towards women, nothing more needs to be said. The entitlement! " I provide 'emotional labour' by flirting and being charming and I don't even get sex immediately if I put the effort to take her on two dates" What I also love is the the "role model for illegitimate children" - oh, the fragile ego. Oh, the fear of cuckolding. Laughable. I am glad he is putting it out there so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:54 AM
1

And thank you for your kind words. I love this sub!! So empowering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 08:02 AM
2

Yes. They just "speak over your head and use more words in a calm tone". The whole concept of the "teen" category is just so disturbing. I don't understand how that could ever be normalized, to the extent of it not being questioned, by a vast majority of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 08:01 AM
12

Throughout my life I was led to believe it was normal for men to watch porn, though I found it disgusting. To the extent that this sub is a revelation for me. When my ex told me the first time I was very upset and also felt jealous and insecure. As usual he gaslighted me and made me believe I was irrational. We actually watched it together once or twice - I tried to be the cool girl - then he was upset that I was upset. Full.pick me apologized for my irrationality. I had full access to his compu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 09:47 PM
3

" I realized Mrs. is really Mister's. " I was today years old when I learnt this from you. I'm my own thank you very much
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 05:01 PM
2

Sure! He can do with his name what he wants and I can do with mine what I want! Maybe I'll feel like taking his name in addition to mine because I like the sound of it. I think double names have a certain elegance to them. If he does not want my name added to his, fine with me. For me the key point remains that any children get the double name because I would like my family name to be continued, at this rate traditionally speaking it is not happening because everyone in the youngest generation i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:58 PM
3

*if he could have it his way! You can do much better than that!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 08:26 PM
12

Dickmatized is an apt description. Did you work so hard to get emotionally blackmailed by someone who tells you, literally, to LOWER YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AS IF YOU DID NOT BELONG where you are right now? So you can match his? You are out of his league! He is trying to make you an equal TO DRAG YOU DOWN TO HIS lower level. He should be your biggest champion. He clearly cannot handle that you will outsmart him and are going and will go like a rocket whereas he's got nothing to show for himself despite…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 08:26 PM
2

Just saw that you mentioned police is involved. STAY SAFE! I used hotmail and I flagged his e-mail address as junk e-mail, which is deleted automatically every 30 days or so and I don't really check it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:04 AM
5

Pretty sure men keeping onto the naming tradition comes more from a sense of ownership or insecurity rather than mere tradition. Clearly The Great bloodline must persevere in the male heir's name. Anything else is emasculation! That said I'd be fine with a double name and any potential partner keeping theirs as long as any potential kids get the double name too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 10:56 PM
20

Good that you don't respond. He made his choices. I got something similar like this too. The last thing he heard was that he was blocked on all channels including email, as in any email he'd sent would be deleted immediately (junk mail but never mind). It was frosty, sharp, and very short. That solved the problem. He never tried again. Looking back it gave me what I needed in light of certain facts. Just block everything so he doesn't trigger you again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 10:10 PM
14

It's very hard. It can be difficult to resist the urge. You really don't need to know how he treats her - it is only going to hurt one way or another. Either you reminisce the times where he would be less of an ass (not helpful for recovery) or you start questioning your worth if you hear he's apparently stepped up. I personally have yet to see a person change really, really drastically within the span of a year or even two, let alone without serious therapy. And throwing yourself into the next …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:25 PM
2

Every single time I see an elderly powerful woman on TV I have to check myself because sometimes I as a woman start thinking about her looks or makeup critically. I noticed I never do that with men 40+, politicians and executives etc, because their confidence detracts from their looks, they are more common to see and just take up space. Politicians etc. But once I really started. oh boy. Oh boy. It's eye opening go the extent you'd get eye cancer if you followed that exercise through over and ov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 09:23 PM
27

Yes. You did the right thing. How men feel so entitled to random sex just because they texted you for some days never stops amazing me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 02:14 PM
5

Yes! Unfortunately very often one's got to make the hurtful experiences oneself to understand what's acceptable and what's not! Sometimes only after you broke up and the rose-tinted glasses have shattered. And then they shatter very hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:25 PM
21

Covert/overt downplaying of another's achievement because of your own insecurity is both condescending and, if towards a woman, mysogynist. It's a red flag. It signals an inferiority complex, a fragile ego and an attention deficit. I've seen this happen towards myself a lot but did not realize in the past how my achievements and projects were downplayed by my ex and his equally mysogynistic friends, many but not all of them egocentric masters of self-promotion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:12 AM
2

Polite and frosty is a beautiful summary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 01:47 PM
3

Mental disorders are very tough. It is so hard to try and keep improving too, and to keep them at bay. So you have done an amazing job! For now - just focus on you and keeping healthy and stable. When the right person comes along, they will be understanding and love both your past and present, because the past has made you who you are. That said, I would not disclose it during the first dates, but try to get an understanding of their views on illness, mental illness, and recovery. After all, men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 08:01 AM
1

Very good! Spoil yourself properly these next weeks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 09:06 PM
2

Very painful. But it is a very good riddance for you indeed. It is going to hurt for a while and there probably will be lots of flashbacks of his poor behavior. You still seem to have him on social media. Block him on EVERYTHING. You don't need to see more material from them. Strictly unnecessary. Don't contact the enemy again. If he wants to offer you any apology, it is likely to be one where he asks for absolution for his behaviour, and not genuine at all. You don't need to give him anything! …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 08:04 AM
2

DEFINITELY FARAMIR
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 02:10 PM
7

Gabriel, Far From the Madding Crowd. Perhaps also, still, Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice (eventually - though appearing arrogant, he has a strong and caring character) Similarly, Mr Knightley from Emma. Perhaps also John Thornton in North and South. *based on pre-FDS readings
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 09:03 PM
14

This is a red flag. It is hard to see when you are being told that this is "only rational" - you might end up believing it - the implication being that YOU ARE IRRATIONAL when you behave like this - essentially a synonym for "not understanding him" or "misreading situations". I had this sort of shit pulled on me for MULTIPLE YEARS (it was a hard lesson). So here is what I have seen: This can go down a very unpleasant rabbit hole. Such arguments open floodgates for all other types of disrespectfu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 11:45 AM
4

I've never heard of that term. But it sounds A LOT like my ex. Fed him through uni for a while, heard a lot about this equal partnership bullshit, always believed it. Was essentially his mom + benefits. He was broke AF and also struggling. Not sure about concept of family and tried to pull the whole "polyamory" thing (nope). Gained prestigious job and was gone. I did not know this typology existed! Never heard of it - or is this your own analysis? Very interesting contribution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 07:54 PM
22

Thank you for the analysis and description. I think it is very accurate. My ex had one of these, conveniently the only other intern in the office he could go on lunch dates with. Even had to meet her, she organised a birthday party for him (together with a mutual friend of ours) when I was working abroad, which I found odd. He kept telling me that they were "only friends" and that she was just "really friendly" and manipulated me into thinking I was irrational (his favourite tactic). We were lon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:28 PM
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