TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

GlobeUnited Archive

View 1 post and 168 comments by GlobeUnited on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

DebateGlobeUnited/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 02:48 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Grandparents more likely to be alive and active is another one.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 03:00 PM
2

Right, one of the dynamics that typically motivates men to commit is the idea that the longer they wait, the "slimmer the pickings". If the Good Guys and Good Girls start pairing off, then it start to flip the dynamic of who seems to be "winning" and who's the loser.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 02:59 AM
4

Yes, I think the big problem with the Red Pill is the focus of attention is all on the women that they don't want, rather than on the women that they do want. The way to short-circuit the negative patterns that are hurting modern dating is for "Good Guys" and "Good Girls" to identify each other, make their intentions known and commit as soon as possible, thus moving on to the next phase of life -- marriage, kids, family, career, etc. Yes, there are minority of both men and women who would rather…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 11:47 PM
1

The "friend zone" is just the default position that should exist between all people who like eachother enough to be in eachother's lives. As a man, you should be in the friend zone of dozens of women. Women from school. Women from work. Women you know through family members. Neighbors. Women you regularly patronize for various services. Women you volunteer with. Etc., etc. At any time, any one of these women could send signals that they are open to something more, and if you are also interested,…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 09:02 PM
2

My best friends and buddies have always been male, but I've usually had fairly close female friends as well. There's often a degree of attraction and flirtaciousness involved in the relationship, but I have no problem being purely platonic friends with women I'm attracted to, and I have no problem being purely platonic friends with women I'm not at all attracted to. I've never understood the idea that a man can't have platonic relationships with women, do you not have female family members, co-w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 04:53 PM
1

It's an important point, and I think people in the comments are getting stumbled up on definitions. The feeling of being "in love" is different than the decision "to love" someone "'till death do us part." The former is really just a release of chemicals our brain evolved over time, probably because that kind of bonding around sex probably increased the likelihood that the ensuing babies would actually survive. But of course those chemicals eventually wash away and your brain reverts the mean, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 04:44 PM
1

Whoops, typo, meant to say a (single) overweight woman with a high body count is very UNlikely to get [love] from an attractive rich guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 09:20 PM
2

Speak for yourself. Me and my friends never gave a sh*t about what the "top 1%" of men are doing and neither did any of the woman we were talking to. "To each their own".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 04:58 PM
1

I do think you're on to something as it relates to casual sex, and I sort of agree with the European approach as I understand it, which is to mostly legalize transactional sex (sex trafficking is a huge problem though, not sure whether that improves or gets worse there versus here). I don't think it's likely to play a role in very many happy, healthy marriages though. One of the many wonderful things about a good family is that it exists outside of the transactional economy. You don't actually c…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 04:32 PM
1

Of course they're not. A 3/4 woman is nearly as invisible to an 8+ guy as a 3/4 man is to an 8+ woman. Hooking up with someone even for a guy is not without its risks and costs: potential STD, potential pregnancy (and you know a 3/4 pregnant from an 8+ will NOT be giving up the baby), potential psycho obsessive, etc., then of course, the time, a rich, attractive man is going to be short on time constantly. No, a 3/4 woman is going to be delusional and lonely or realistic and hooking up with aver…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 04:16 PM
1

I'm sure some do, but by no means all. A little persistence maybe, but they're looking for love like everyone else and an overweight woman with a high body count is very unlikely to get it from an attractive rich guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 04:04 PM
0

I've seen it a zillions times around me. I don't know what you're talking about. Everyone has options. Some just don't like their options.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 03:58 PM
4

What do you mean "don't have options"? In theory a male 5 should be able to have as many situationships as he wants with female 4's and below. And again, anecdotally, I've always seen lot of overweight broke guys having casual sex with overweight ran-through women. It's practically a cliche.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 10:37 PM
5

I can never understand why people say something as illogical as this. If you think that a guy who's a 10 can have a situationship with women who are 9 and below, why would you not think that an average guy (a "5") can't have exact same kinds of situationships with women who are 4 and below? There's no reason why not in theory, and in practice, I've seen it constantly. Until you get to a "1", any guy can always find a girl who's further down on the scale than themselves and string her along in a …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 09:53 PM
1

My point wasn't at all that "it's the guy's fault"; my point was really the same as yours, which is that not a lot of guys are really going to be interested in being with a "high maintenance woman". Believe me, that was never a possibility for me!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:44 PM
1

No, I'm saying that not everyone wants to assume the responsibility for maintaining a high maintenance woman. "High maintenance" usually implies not only that she spends a lot of time and effort maintaining herself, but also that it takes a high level of effort to maintain a relationship with her!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:20 AM
2

I don't have much personal knowledge here, but the decline of marriage and family is occurring at the very least across all of "the West" and in fact, the countries really leading the way on it are in the far East (Japan, Korea, China). It's probably most accurate to say that what's being described is a function of urbanization, which has now spread all across the world. Young people move to cities for education, career and mating opportunities, and within a very short period of time, the tradit…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 04:54 PM
1

Well, not everyone is interested in assuming responsibility for that level of maintenance!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 04:19 PM
1

No lies detected.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 05:08 AM
1

It's hard to get into the mindset, but I do think for a lot of men there's something particularly alluring about personality traits that are "against type": Hot girl who spends all day pampering herself and twirling her hair = hot Hot girl who spends all day hunting, fishing and hammering nails = hotter. There are a lot tropes like this: the librarian that you might not really notice with her hair tied up, thick glasses and a baggy sweater, then she lets her hair down, takes her glasses and swea…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 03:58 AM
0

There's a lot of truth to this. At 21, many women have the option of trading on their looks to get things that they want in life. If what they want is marriage, and they play their cards right, then by 30 they're just moving into the next phase of life -- building a home, having kids, connecting with family, pursuing a career, etc. But yes, if what they want is short-term, financially-motivated interactions, yes, they're more likely to hit a point sometime after age 30 where their options to eit…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 11:15 PM
2

Solutions have to operate at both the individual level and the cultural/societal level. At the individual level, my advice to both sexes would be to be honest with yourselves about whether you are marriage-minded from those who DGAF about marriage, kids, family, etc. and "just wanna have (short-term) fun". IMHO, 80% of both sexes would be happier in a stable marriage for life, 20% wouldn't be. If you're in the 80%, separate yourselves from the 20%, nothing good can come from crossing that line i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 09:16 PM
14

Arranged and forced are not the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:48 PM
2

I wouldn't define "nice guy" that way, but YMMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 04:43 AM
2

Have you ever heard of "servant-leadership"?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 01:18 AM
7

I don't think it's so much about "traits" as it is about intentions. The "nice" guy intends to treat the woman in question respectfully, to be patient about sex, to stick around for a potential relationship after sex, etc. The "bad boy" intends to disrespect the woman in question, to push for sex as soon as possible by whatever means possible including drugs and alcohol, and to immediately discard her as soon as it's "mission accomplished" in that sense, unless she wants to continue indefinitely…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 06:15 PM
1

Yeah, there are also confounding factors in that the rate of marriage differs depending on how long they waited for sex. Not sure it could ever be fully pulled apart.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 09:33 PM
5

But is there evidence that women who wait to have sex during dating end up having less sex during marriage? I'm pretty skeptical, we know that married partners have more sex than single people, so it kind of stands to reason that exclusivity = intimacy = more sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 08:58 PM
2

Is this just your theory, or is there evidence for this?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 08:41 PM
2

Simps are men who are willing to sacrifice their self-respect in order to get into the good graces of women who don't really like them that much. Wannabe alphas are not exactly that, but I do think that if your whole point in life is to alter yourself in order to "get women", you've somewhat lost the plot.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 11:54 PM
8

The Boomer moms had it pretty bad: you must get a job, but the division of labor in the home will not change at all. Not surprised that this resulted in a lot of divorce. I think as you go down from there through the generations, marriages are getting more equal. There will always be different tasks assigned to each gender, respectively, as a general rule, but hopefully, in total, things will be closer to evening out. But yes, I do think if the husband refuses to help out around the house when t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 07:17 PM
2

Depends on how you define "for the most part", and depends on which women you're talking about, where, at what age, etc. I happen to know a lot of women who make good money, better than what their husbands make. They don't seem to care very much. They like that he can handle a solid share of the responsibilities around maintaining a home and family. Not necessarily in a feminine way, they have housecleaners and DoorDash, whatever, but more BBQing, making sure everything's working correctly with …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 04:31 AM
2

For most people, winning at life means forming a family and raising kids that you can be proud of. If you can honestly say that's not part of your life's goals, then by all means, don't get married. But for everyone else, these are all just dumb ass cop outs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 11:53 PM
5

Either/or thinking is usually wrong. That is to say, to think that women either like a man for who he is as a human being or they like him for what he can provide is a false dichotomy. In every case, it's a mix between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 07:20 PM
1

It's an odd one, the question is probably not so much why it triggered parts of the manosphere, but why did the fact that it did get so much attention more broadly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 09:03 PM
2

Yes, that's a good idea too.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 05:17 AM
8

The seemingly contradictory advice of "be friends first" and "don't try to have sex with your (female) friends" used to be solved by courtship. It used to be normal to first declare romantic intentions, then become friends, then have sex. Bringing a bit of that back would solve a lot of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 01:53 AM
1

Makes sense, but as I understand it, parlaying money into casual sex does involve "flying someone out" and putting them up in a nice hotel room in a desireable location and/or at the very least, an expensive meal and night out on the town, etc. It's only the "20 year old rugby player" that can just show up for a 20 minute hit it and quit it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 03:48 AM
0

Sure, I probably wouldn't recommend anyone to "the red pill". I would recommend Jordan Peterson though, for example. Is he red pill?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 10:13 PM
1

I'm familiar with how me and my wife differ. When I'm out, I'm not particularly the "life of the party", but I can really hang out indefinitely. It doesn't take anything out of me, and in fact, I'll usually return home a little "jazzed" by the whole experience. When she's out, she often is the life of the party, but she really had to gear up mentally for it, and then she's exhausted afterwards. On the other hand, if I'm just home, I'll get a little restless and stir crazy, and end up just going …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 09:31 PM
0

Hard to say. Probably net positive. At its best, the red pill just says, "if you want to improve your prospects with women, then you should improve yourself to become more attractive to them." That's good advice and much-needed for a lot of young men, in my opinion. On the other hand, the red pill fosters a mentality of transactionalism that is not conducive to building good relationships. The end result in my opinion is just men using their money to obtain sex from prostitutes. Most people don'…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 09:08 PM
1

Sure, but as I understand it, by definition, introverts get drained by social interactions and extroverts get energized by social interactions. But maybe I'm mistaken . . .
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 08:48 PM
5

I think the definition of introvert is that it "drains your social batteries". By that definition, even though I sort of enjoy alone time and am not that particularly social, I'm actually an extrovert because I tend to get energized by social interactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 06:08 PM
1

It's a complicated situation because of birth control and the fact that it takes much longer on average these days to reach full adulthood in the sense of financial independence. In the "old days", marriage was on the table at 18, 19, 20, so yeah, you could leverage the extreme horniness of guys at that age to get them locked into marriages as a condition for sex. They would also be done with education and ready to start a family. So now we are both having sex at earlier ages because of birth co…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 02:19 PM
4

I'm not sure this is quite true. I think if you just play out that "women do tend to take longer to get aroused", it's obvious that women wouldn't lust after (those) men the same way men lust after (hot) women. Male lust is probably more visual and immediate, whereas female lust is more emotional and gradual. It's not the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 12:30 AM
3

For the most part this isn't a thing. For men, if you can get a woman to have casual sex with you, it's likely that you could also get her to marry her. There is a big exception, which is men who are more sexy than stable, like struggling musicians, former or aspiring pro athletes, etc. A woman might be willing to have sex with them, but not marry them. I think that's a tiny slice of the total male population though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:41 AM
1

Yes, opinions definitely do change.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:14 AM
1

I know a ton of couples like this, and it doesn't seem to be a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:07 AM
1

Valid. If you value your relationship with your kids, divorce is a very unattractive option in most situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 07:51 PM
5

. . . which is totally fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 07:05 PM
1

Smart women can do some math on potential. I was literally broke through all of my dating years, I was still living with my parents and didn't own a car when I met my wife. But I was a student, pursing a couple of professional degress. Now I make a little north of 250k, own a home that's worth around 1.5M and she gets all of it, save for a few bucks here and there that I spend on my various hobbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 04:50 AM
–

It's totally fine. I had plenty of sex before age 22, but for the most part, it came with a ton of headaches and heartaches, and now that I'm older, I realize it was all sort of waste of time and energy that could've been better directed elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 05:26 AM
1

Good answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 10:48 AM
–

A man should obviously do so, to the extent that he cares about a particular woman. But I'm just talking about the calculus that might go into why that's a factor in whether a man is willing to make a long-term commitment, wherein if she cheats, his life could be ruined on a variety of levels. "No. 1 by default" could sound like a better bet than, "try not to be dead last" and see what happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 10:44 AM
–

Idealistically, yes. You hear women talk about mind-blowing casual sex all the time though, which would seem to indicate that at some level, for at least some women, quality of relationship isn't always a factor in how good sex is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 10:40 AM
–

If sex is not available to you, you can use that time and energy to do other things that are equally or more worthwhile. You shouldn't fret about not having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 05:35 AM
3

The answer is pretty simple: poverty. Affluence = fewer kids. All times, all places. China is more affluent than India, but India is definitely catching up, and when they do, the fertility rate will also drop.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 03:25 AM
–

There's a lot of territory in between "your partner isn't having a good time" and "you're the best she's ever had". If she's had better, I would assume no matter how hard the guy's trying to "grow", there's a higher chance that she'll cheat at some point then if that weren't the case. But YMMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 03:19 AM
–

Could be "insecurity" or maybe a realistic assessment of his skills. Just do the math, if she's had one past partner, that means her next partner has a 50/50 chance of being her best ever. If two, then a 33% chance. If three, 25%, and so on, once you get to 99, he has to believe himself to be among the top 1% sexually to be her best ever. Do you think a guy who believes himself to be in the top 1% of sexual partners is looking to get married anytime soon!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 01:15 AM
1

I don't really know what the "blue pill" is to be honest, other than it's not the red pill, but the "if a man wants this lifestyle" basically makes your point tautological. Yes, if a man wants to become a Chad, and a have a harem of women, getting into a relationship is not the best way to achieve that. But the point is, most men are happier in a committed, monogamous relationship than out indefinitely playing the field. Not all, but most.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 06:55 PM
1

It probably depends on lot on the particulars of the people in question, but speaking for myself, 21+ years of marriage, married sex is definitely way better than casual sex. The main reason is 21 years in, I feel like we're still perfecting exactly what works best, and I really appreciate the relaxation factor, casual sex was always generated a lot of nervous energy for me. But I suppose if two "pro's" got together casually, maybe that would be just as good or better, because they've been perfe…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 06:44 PM
–

I heard a lot of that all the way back in college, which for me was the late 80's-early 90's. What I think the trend is really being driven by is that young women in big expensive metros are for the first time ever outearning their male counterparts. This flies in the fact of thousands of years of cultural expectations that men be the "providers" in a relationship, and so there's a lot of friction around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 06:27 AM
–

What are you even doing maintaining this thing by phone? Have you flown over to meet her, or vice-versa?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:58 PM
1

There's a lot of truth to this, when the kids are young, it's preferable that one spouse not be working outside of the home, and generally, that's going to be the woman. That said, single-earner households have always been a small fraction of the total picture, and things are moving really fast in other directions. Already, young women are outearning men in most of the big metros, and that trend will only accelerate given that women are earning higher education degrees at a 2-1 rate compared to …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:58 PM
1

To be fair, it's not easy. Listen closely to what they say, somewhere in there, they're usually commicating truths.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 04:46 PM
1

Not sure I fully understand your response. It's my impression that in general men are more willing to engage in casual sex and women are more willing to enter into committed relationships. There are of course millions of exceptions to both, but at the population level, that's where the tendencies are. Given that, the average man will likely be more willing to engage in casual sex with any given woman versus how willing the average woman would be to engage in casual sex with any given man. Conver…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 04:37 PM
1

I don't know if I'm blue pilled or not, but "lowering their standards" sounds a little worrisome. You could say that he should be patient, continue to pursue his mission in life, and hope for the best. But if he has some unrealistic abstract ideal of what kind of woman he wants, causing him to thereby fail to appreciate any of the women who are actually interested in him, then he might wait too long for something that is not going to ever happen, thereby missing out on the possibility of a good …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 12:27 AM
1

Nobody questions that it's easier for women to "date" attractive men; the question is whether it's easier for women to secure a committed relationship. In general, I think it's true that it's easier for women to obtain casual sex and for men to obtain committed relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 09:45 PM
2

Affairs are stigmatised for some pretty good reasons -- diseases, pregnancies, paternity issues, jealousy leading to violence and social discord, sexual harrasment in the workplace, etc. That said, it might also be the case that the stigma around affairs causes more harm than the affairs themselves, it's hard to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:42 PM
4

I don't know if it's just the loudest voices, but seemingly most, whereas in my opinion, most men would actually be happier seeking out a committed LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 07:42 PM
3

I'm saying that a lot of men in the red pill/black pill space aspire to this standard of "pulling" a woman who are attractive to other men, but also that they should be able to pull multiple "women" as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 06:03 PM
6

Not "an" attractive woman, multiple attractive women . . .
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 02:33 PM
1

It's actually great to have a romantic relationship grow out of a friendship, but it wirks better if the romantic intent is made clear from the start and then the friendship phase is sort of a courtship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 06:27 AM
7

Some portion of that "bottom" 20% are actually committed bachelors childless by choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 05:06 PM
0

Would definitely vote in favor, and yes, most women I think would be better off focusing on family first, career later.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 03:25 PM
3

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 05:31 AM
1

Depends on the woman . . .
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:52 PM
2

My proposal is for every kid she had, the man should be entitled to one felony conviction. So, if you have no felonies, you get a woman with no kids. End of story. If you have one felony, then you gotta settle for a woman with one kid. Two felonies, two kids. Etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 10:28 PM
–

You have to try to have fun with it. You don't really want a world where women make it obvious what they want, it would just be crude, base, and brutal world. Just imagine an unattractive woman walking up to you, turning around sticking her ass out, bending over, and saying, "fuck me now!" You don't want that. No, you want women who aren't obvious in their intentions so that you can use your higher faculties to figure out if there's something possible between you in a manner that allows both you…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 06:13 PM
3

I don't think one sex is superior to the other, but there are things that one sex is on average better at than the other and vice-versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 08:50 PM
–

If you're in the minority of people who are happy single for life versus having a family, then by all means, do so. For most people, that's not a good strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 08:00 AM
–

How did you "dial down your horniness"?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 07:00 AM
–

Apologies, I can't make sense of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 01:25 AM
2

I think this frame is a little too either/or. It's highly unlikely that a modern, Western man of any sort is going to drop into a deeply traditional, religious community and walk off with a wife. But slowly but surely, assimilation is happening as a result of both immigration and also the spread of modernity around the world, and I do think that there is potential for good pairings between Western men looking for more traditional relationships and women from non-Western backgrounds looking for m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 09:55 PM
4

So true.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 06:02 PM
–

You sound a little too caught up in abstractions. At the risk of stretching an analogy in a way that might open a "whole 'nother can of worms", up until 2008, I think there was still a majority of Americans who said they wouldn't vote for a "Black President". Then in 2008, a majority of voters elected a Black President. My theory is that prior to 2008, they had an abstract idea in their minds of what a Black President would represent, but once they were presented with a real live flesh and blood…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 05:59 PM
2

I feel for you man, but just don't forget that a woman that you meet for the first time at 30 had nothing to do with all of the women that treated you badly from 15 to 30. She had nothing to do with any of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 07:07 PM
1

Yes, especially in this realm of male-female relationships, which is really a private matter. How many happily married people living lives of meaning and productivity really want to step into a public role, where's the incentive to do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 06:45 PM
2

You're still pretty young in the whole scheme of things. It sounds like you're doing well in other areas of life, double down there, and keep your eyes open. Maybe travel?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 03:43 AM
–

It might be that you haven't really met one that strikes your fancy yet. If I were you, I might consider making a bit more effort to do so, but there's nothing wrong with focusing on other areas of your life pending the entrance of someone like that into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 11:16 PM
1

No, it's possible for either sex to satisfy their homonal urges with one person, two people, or many people.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 08:17 PM
2

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 06:24 PM
8

"Horniness" and the desire for multiple partners are not the same thing. Men are hornier on average but it's a different type of thing. Women's horniness tends to vary more across time and different situations, but I think the peaks might be just as high if not higher. The desire for multiple partners definitely trends more towards men, but again, depends on the woman, and some woman are more extreme than most men on this count also. There are also a lot more social-psychological aspects to the …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 06:13 PM
–

We need to kill the entire terminology around "boyfriend" and "girlfriend", it brings nothing positive to human affairs. You should be single, engaged or married. If you haven't had a girlfriend by age 25, count yourself lucky.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 05:46 PM
1

I would agree with the first, not necessarily the second. It's too obvious to state that women tend to be more attracted to men that are seen as more attractive to a lot of women. Of course. But a lot of men that attract a lot of women do not get into good relationships because it's very hard to settle on and be faithful to just one woman, when there are so many options to choose from, and temptation is presented daily. By and large unfaithful relationships are not good relationships, in fact th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 03:23 PM
2

Yes, I think you're correct in your observations. The issue I'm sort of trying to address here is the good people being led astray in their youth by the "leftovers" who are now influencing millions. It's truly the blind leading the blind on a massive scale. And the result is declining marriage and birth rates, escalating loneliness and mental illness.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 03:17 PM
2

Step One: be clear about what you want. Stop Two: don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 02:58 PM
1

It's changed before. The 70's were pretty wild in that way, but in the 80's things went pretty far in the opposite direction, there was a lot of 50's nostalgia, and HIV scared a lot of people, etc. The pendulum swings . . .
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 06:17 AM
1

Exactly. And the red pill is all about the SMP of the Miami club scene, whereas the vast majority of men (and women) would end up happier following a very different moral construct, and thus would have a very different value.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 05:16 AM
1

Right, so then the "amoral" characterization doesn't really hold, because there is a moral choice between casual sex and dating for marriage, so if you're just conflating the two, you also obscuring the moral choice, and how the moral choice changes the dynamics of the "marketplace". Just for a thought experiment, imagine for a moment what the "marketplace" looks like if you just took one thing from traditional society -- virgin brides -- and moved it forward as the highest ideal in our own soci…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 03:57 AM
1

Probably true to an extent, but it's nonetheless a lot easier to reverse some of it earlier versus later in the process.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 02:10 AM
1

Well, would agree that we're not quite where we might have been a couple of generations ago on this front, but the main point I'm trying to make here is, what's the aspiration, what's the ideal? It seems to me that the red pill is putting out an ideal as equally rat-brained as what it's criticizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 02:08 AM
0

Dating with intention and still having sex within your relationship is not casual sex. Is that not self-evident?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 01:59 AM
0

My supposition is not in the abstract of the world as we know it. My argument absolutely takes it as a fact that fewer women engage in less casual sex than men, so most men get more sex inside of a marriage than outside of it. Yes, that probably contributes to many men (probably concentrated disproportionately in that very group) are happier being in a faithful marriage than they would be seeking a constant stream of casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 01:58 AM
-1

No, they don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 01:54 AM
2

Monogamous marriage is a massive override of the software given to us by Mother Nature, and those societies who have adopted it have experienced incredible increases in their overall standard of living, unimaginable to most people living in societies where they have not done so (thus the unidirectional mass exodus of the most talented and ambitious from one to the other). Yes, in the last few decades, modern/western societies have taken all of this for granted, assuming that their wealth and con…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 01:53 AM
2

This is what I'm talking about: the sex/love lives of celebrities and athletes are entirely exceptional in human affairs. They're literally in a class all of their own that constitutes something like .00001% of the human population. Nothing about them proves anything about anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 01:49 AM
1

Again, the deflation problem. It's a fact that both men and women apply very different value metrics, depending on whether they are considering someone for casual sex versus marriage. Do you doubt this?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 01:41 AM
0

According to surveys, etc., about half of married men cheat and the majority of all of all married men are happy in their marriages. Putting the two numbers together, we can say for sure that there is at least one man out there who is happier staying faithful than cheating, and it's probably close to half.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 01:39 AM
–

Life is way less stressful when you have social connections that help you navigate through it, and family is the number one kind of social connection for the vast majority of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 10:18 PM
0

Absurd. Where does that stop? "Yeah, you know, you're really just a stupid b***h, you're lucky to have me . . . what, if you were a good woman, you wouldn't be offended so easily!" Sounds like a recipe for failure . . .
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 10:17 PM
2

I've met innocent women up into their 30's, admittedly it gets rarer and rare with each passing year. You're not too old to vibe with a fairly recent college graduate though, and it's not rare for someone to go through college staying away from hookup culture, and then once they're out, it's much less of a part of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 09:24 PM
0

Good women BY DEFINITION do not have casual sex. A really easy way to tell is someone is a good woman or not is to find out whether she has casual sex. Has casual sex = not a good woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 09:22 PM
1

Bingo.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 09:21 PM
1

I'm not talking about "betas marrying alpha widows", an alpha widow is not in my opinion a "good woman". I think the red pill does have it correct that if a woman wants to spend twenty years having casual sex with every "Chad" who comes along, she shouldn't expect to be wifed up by a nice guy at the end of it. It doesn't generally work that way. That's a different thing than marrying a good woman who had not done that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 09:20 PM
1

The literal definition of the metaphor is irrelevant, she's obviously not literally a fish. The point of the metaphor is to say to someone, "you're nothing special to me, there are many more out there who would be equally valuable to me". No good woman will commit herself to a man who looks at her that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 09:15 PM
0

I think you're greatly underestimating the extent to which a woman's desire is likely to be a function of the actual relationship between her and her husband versus some abstract thought of how other women see him.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 09:14 PM
1

My perspective is not just my own, I have friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, I see what's going on around me. These complaints are also not new, I spend more years than average as a single guy before marriage, I remember the experience of dating women who had already been through a number of relationships and casual hookups versus those that had avoided that before meeting me. What I find interesting is that people who supposedly can get any woman they want somehow not being able to find a …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:44 PM
1

Yet another conflation. Stop it. Getting a hardened woman into bed and finding a suitable marriage partner are not the same thing. Not saying that physical attractiveness doesn't help with both, but that's not nearly the end of the story.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:38 PM
1

"Adults" my friend, adults! It's not a women-only thing, men go through the same process, the transition from "nice guy" to something darker but maybe more effective, as we get more experience. It's just a plain fact that as each gender respectively goes through this process, the chances of entering marriage decline. You can just look at demographic data on marriage rates if you have any doubt about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:36 PM
0

Again, people on this subreddit seem to have a really hard time imagining that there are different kinds of women out there. Good women don't look to get married to "some real asshole".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:23 PM
1

Probably true.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:07 PM
1

I didn't say that. My point is that all women begin life as innocents, somewhere along the line, most lose it, some earlier than others. If you want an innocent, then find one and don't take it from her.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:06 PM
3

Not all women are ruled by "female nature". We have powerful brains, our brains have evolved social institutions that allow us to transcend our "nature" because in doing so we make life better for ourselves and for those around us. Women who are ruled by their female nature should be avoided.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:04 PM
1

No, they can be and frequently are two different doors. That's what the red pill gets so wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:02 PM
1

We're animals that have invented complex social institutions that make our lives immeasurably richer and better than "birds". People who allow themselves to be ruled by their base, animalistic "instincts, hormones, and carnal desires" are destined for ruin, and that applies both to individuals and to society as a whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 05:59 PM
1

No. It's marriages built on lust alone that will obviously fail, in the unlikely event they even happen. Marriage is a complex social institution that combines a variety of non-sexual incentives that serve to channel innate sexual desires into social beneficial behaviors.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 05:57 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 05:54 PM
1

What's your age?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 05:53 PM
1

Good women do not have casual sex before pursuing marriage. Good women don't have casual sex period. A lot of good women in today's society do have premarital sex, but they usually do it with someone who they can at least at the time they're doing it imagine marrying one day. Often they end up doing so. Men and women in general with lots of exceptions of course are not the same, what works for one does not work for the other, and vice-versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 05:53 PM
2

They actually do. A lot of women don't relish the idea of getting cheated on in their marriage, and therefore tend to steer clear of men who seem like they'd probably cheat on them were they to get married. If they're also the type not into casual sex, then they'll not do that with them either, even though they find them attractive. Women have more control over their sexual attraction than men typical do.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 05:51 PM
2

In reference to herself? Are you nuts? So, if you're significant other is just like, "yeah, you're great, but you know, there's plenty of fish in the sea!", she's going to be like, "wow, I'm really going to trust the rest of my life to this person!" Uh . . . no.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 05:48 PM
0

Look, if you want to try to share your life with a woman who's operating at the basest level of pure animalistic instinct, by all means, please do. But for anyone reading this, good woman can smell a philanderer a mile away and they are not going to make themselves available to them under any circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 05:22 PM
1

Wrong. Women especially often become attracted to someone over time, based on non-instinctual factors like family duty, financial security, intellectual stimulation, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 08:19 AM
5

No, because what you would do to attract large numbers of women who are open to casual sex is very different than what you would do to attract one specific woman who is the only woman you're intending to spend time with for the next few decades. Very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 08:16 AM
1

Obviously, it's not that that no man would be happier avoiding casual sex. If half the men on Earth do this, obviously some of them figured out that they would be happier this way. I think it's worth quibbling about what the correct number is, but the idea that men by definition are happier engaging in casual sex is plainly not true. You know this.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 08:14 AM
1

We aren't animals. We're humans, way more complex. We're also civilized humans. Maybe barbarians act purely in accordance with how they "evolved", but civilized human beings who are interested in promoting happiness in their lives and the lives of those around them act in ways that are far more complex than animals or even barbaric humans. This is a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 08:11 AM
-5

Wrong. Good woman do not want to be looked as fish in the sea.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 08:07 AM
1

Again, the question is what do you want? If you are clear about what you want, the chances that you'll find it are much higher. My point is that the red pill guys that I've seen for the most part want women who have "had one night stands, friends with benefits, etc. If you want something different, then make sure that you yourself are intensely aware of this, and seek that out. There's of course no guarantee, but if you don't look, of course, your chances of finding it are lower.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 08:06 AM
-4

This is a lie. Women don't all "work the same way". This is exactly what I'm talking about. I hope people are reading this, because you've stated the lie at the bottom of this very clearly.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:54 AM
2

Well, it's reassuring to know that another "happily married" person is looking at all this and having a similar reaction! One thing I've thought about a few times is how few married people are in this general conversation, for the obvious reasons that (1) we're not motivated to think about these issues because we're not as personally impacted and (2) marriage is kind of a private thing, people don't really want to put their marriages out there in the street. So what you get instead is a bunch of…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:33 AM
0

Sure. The issue is that I'm of the "opinion" that 80% of men would be happier pursuing a marriage, and 20% are happier as confirmed bachelors, but 90+% of men are told that they should just waste valuable years of their life pursuing casual sex without commitment. The red pill contributes to this. If my son thinks he doesn't want to have kids/get married, I'll probably tell him that he's making a mistake, but of course I'll support him in whatever he chooses to do. Most likely, if he's like me a…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:11 AM
2

I don't know about that, but I do know that I've learned some painful lessons!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:04 AM
1

My point is that too many men don't understand that they'd be happier avoiding casual sex in favor of marriage. The red pill encourages this misunderstanding by conflating strategies in pursuit of one versus the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:03 AM
2

To say that "society corrupts a woman's psychology very early in life" implies that before she was corrupted, she was innocent. If she has a good family, that innocence will last into adulthood.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 06:00 AM
2

If you want children who will be disadvantaged at every turn in life and ten to 100 times more likely to end up in prison or dead at an early age, yes, by all means go and adopt. For the other 99% of us who have an ounce of common sense, we are not going to trade in the "drama" of a wife for the life of a single dad with an adopted kid. Yes, it's true that you have much less ability to walk away from a marriage if there are kids; that is the entire reason for marriage as an institution, to ensur…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 05:58 AM
2

Yes, most are making bad choices. My message to woman would be the same: save yourself for someone you see yourself with long term, and hope that it works out that way. If you can guarantee it by holding out until your wedding night, even better. Again, for 20% of women this is not the best path, but for most it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 04:55 AM
3

All women begin innocent, and at some point they lose it. I'm saying that if a man really "can get any women", then why wouldn't he want to get one before the loss?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 04:53 AM
2

According to you, there are not good women out there, having casual sex with them is not going to change that?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 04:51 AM
5

Have you considered that there are women who are not like your wife in this way?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 04:50 AM
1

I specified "most". Having known lots of men over my life and watching how things develop, I think it probably like most things conforms to the 80/20 rule, 80 percent of men would be happier married with kids, and 20% are happier as a perennial bachelor. The first question men should try to answer for themselves is what category to they fall in.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 04:21 AM
3

They "learn" to protect themselves and their heart. That makes then harder and less vulnerable, which is both not as attractive for most men and also more likely to lead to a more emotionally distant kind of connection. I would probably agree that men shouldn't necessarily be "obsessed with virgin brides", given the realities of our society. But I do think that it's not coincidental that this has been highly valued by prospective grooms the world over throughout all of history. But given the mod…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 04:12 AM
0

Sure, not sure why anyone wouldn't want to be "as attractive as possible", but that's different thing than spending time and energy in pursuit of the kinds of women that are open to casual sex versus trying to find one good woman to marry. These are different "games".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 04:08 AM
4

My argument doesn't really rest on the chances of finding a good woman; the issue I'm raising is that the red pill messaging isn't even pointing in that direction. See, supposedly, Andrew Tate and JW Waller can have "any woman they want", right? Well, if so, then why is a good woman unattainable? Why is a virgin bridge unattainable? I think it's because it's not true that they can have any woman they want. They can have an endless stream of hardened woman who are operating out of base instincts …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 03:50 AM
2

By your own logic, it stands to reason that good marriages do not start with casual sex, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 03:43 AM
1

I'm not actually suggesting you should. If you value a total innocent, then find one. My main point is that it's worth it to aim for whatever it is you want, in that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 03:29 AM
2

Right.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 03:28 AM
2

The circle of marriage does not exist inside of the circle of casual sex. Even by the red pill's own terms, casual sex with desirable women is only available to a small subset of men. I know a lot of guys who were terrible at the casual sex part of male-female relationships but have "killed it" in the married and happy part of it. This is the whole point, when the red pill gives people advice on how to get casual sex, they are taking people down a path that doesn't lead to "married and happy". I…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 03:27 AM
0

1-2 billion can; the only one who likely will give you children (that you would want) would be the one that you choose to marry. Even those who would give you children outside of marriage are probably not wise woman to get pregnant, as they would likely be irresponsible in caring for your children.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 03:18 AM
2

Because she'll probably give you children?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 03:12 AM
0

It's not so much that, but what the ideal? When the ideal is having a stable of OF girls, it's a different set of goals versus the ideal is one good woman hopefully as innocent as possible. Nobody gets their absolutely ideal, but the aspiration informs everything down the line.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 03:11 AM
5

Your first paragraph does exactly what I said the red pillers do: fail to distinguish between dating/sex and marriage. If you don't do this, then in my opinion you haven't advanced to square one in an understanding of male-female relationships. There is very little overlap between "dating decisions" and how marriage works. Your second paragraph are either mistatements of fact or point to the same problem that we're all trying to address. The vast majority of marriages don't fail; in fact the maj…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 03:08 AM
1

Don't get with a "usual" women; get with someone extraordinary.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 04:30 PM
1

I'll be encouraging my son to hold off on engaging in romantic endeavors for as long as possible. Until you find "the one", it's just a waste of time, energy and resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 08:14 AM
–

You should go to a cafe in a happening part of a city close to you with a book and sit there sipping on a drink all day, watching who comes in and out. If you see someone attractive and he doesn't have a ring on, then smile at him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 08:07 AM
2

Yes, I think very few people are waking up to this problem, it's not limited to the U.S., or even "the West", it's basically everywhere in the world that is at all modern. We've been told that overpopulation is a problem for so long that it's going to take a long time and a lot of effort to reorient people towards the greater threat of population collapse. I've thought a lot about solutions, I'm planning to share some ideas in this forum. I think they're known, we're living in modernity, but hum…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 07:49 AM
1

This is a bit silly . . . it's not like you have to guess whether someone has kids or not, nobody is going to live to a potential significant other about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 12:02 AM
1

It's a good question. There's a subtle but very important difference between trying to take a platonic friendship in a romantic direction, and getting to know each other on the path to a romantic relationship. Looking back at times when I ended up getting romantically involved versus "friend-zoned", it's important to send signals from the start of the relationship that your interest is romantic, even if you also take the time to get to know each other well before entering a romantic relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 07:36 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter