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GoldDigger304 Archive

View 3 posts and 84 comments by GoldDigger304 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

I went through the exact same. I don't understand how men can afford to get married for a second or third time. Never again. You will eventually learn to accept your new situation and you will eventually find a purpose/hobby to take your mind off all the stress and injustice.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 06:27 PM
2

In this case maybe she is denying and lying about the relationship to avoid shame. For someone reason wives/girlfriends hate shame. It makes them FEEL like a bad person.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:54 PM
1

"But I am 100% ready to walk away if there's drama, crazy or our lives don't match up anymore." ^^^^^^This is the key. Most men sacrifice themselves and walk into the drama and chaos even more when there is unrest. The trick is to actually do the opposite and walk away. Such a great piece of psychological advice
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:51 PM
1

It is crazy how no one teaches men this fundamental piece of advice. One of the best wealth planning strategies is to not get married,
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:49 PM
2

The main thing is to find a purpose or passion that can fill your spare time. Like a business or gym or hobby or something similar.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:43 PM
3

"She’s consistently lied to my face even though I’ve caught her in lies multiple times." I had to deal with this too. My view on it is they just want to punish you for something that you did to them. They justify the lie by saying to themselves "he wasn't a good husband so I am not really lying I am just getting my own back".
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:42 PM
2

How many years left?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:38 PM
3

Rubbing one out with Angela White versus using an old, dry, used , temperamental and worn out box. I am which one I will be choosing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:38 PM
1

Never bring a biased and unpredictable judge into your finances and love life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:36 PM
3

Stay single, stay happy, stay healthy, stay wealthy, and stay on your purpose.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:35 PM
1

Its never a family of your own. Once she goes to family court will you lose your money and kids. Its all about finding purpose in something that is not risky and not going to screw you over 10 years down the line.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:34 PM
5

Peace and quiet can become addictive. Once you have had a taste of it, do you really want to go back to all the drama and stress of a co-habitating LTR.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:33 PM
2

"I think she needs to know that you know you're not getting screwed over again." ^^^^^ THIS. Gold digger free zone.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:31 PM
2

Its not worth risking your peace, wealth and health for a fleeting romantic relationship. Peace, health and wealth over romance any day.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:30 PM
4

I am always surprised when I hear that a man marries for the second or third time. I don't understand how he can afford the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:26 PM
1

Agreed. Find a purpose and some to keep you busy and then throw yourself into that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:25 PM
3

I don't think you will be that lucky a second time around. I think that's why some men marry for a second time. Because their 1st divorce was relatively straight forward.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:23 PM
6

A man's health and peace is worth more than all the drama and stress (and all the adverse consequences of stress such as heart disease and diabetes) that a girlfriend/wife brings.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:21 PM
1

Did you adopt the kid too? You will need to pay for the kid in asset division or child support or alimony (because she can't work because of the kid)?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 04:21 PM
2

I think divorce rate for divorcees is higher. For some reason (maybe trauma) being previously married makes the next marriage worse.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 04:19 PM
1

Get her to move out of the house and change the locks. You don't want her to stay there and then she starts making up false allegations. Now divorce is in her mind its over. She, her friends, her sisters, her mother will always be contemplating it now. Sounds like she regrets marrying you. Maybe you didn't live up to the husband she thought you was going to be. You may be able to get another 2 - 3 years out of the marriage but what is the point? Its over in the medium/long term. Get a lawyer, dr…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 06:53 AM
4

"And if it’s too perfect they will just jack up your CS to make up for no alimony." ^^^^^^^^^^^THIS Judges always find a way
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 09:52 PM
5

Speak to a lawyer. Is paying 100% of school and 300/week reasonable and fair? She can cut you off from your kid post-divorce so it is important you get a schedule/parenting plan in place ASAP before you agree to any figures. If she doesn't put you on child support, can she claim back child support at a later date?
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 09:30 PM
2

Good point. I think a prenup would have helped with the retirement account. Prenups are normally written as what is mine is mine, what is yours is yours, and what is jointly owned is split 50/50, plus no alimony, plus no legal fees. However 22 years ago no one knew about prenups so you would have lost the 200k of retirement funds regardless. I'm glad the judge/your ex-wife was fair and you can move on happily without any trauma.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 09:13 PM
9

If she is prioritizing her friends over you its already done. I think its a case of when and not if. You have grown apart and want different things out of life. You can probably eek out another 5 more years but at what cost? 5 more years of unhappiness, the unhappiness turns into contempt, the contempt turns into false police allegations. Why not end it on a high when its easy to get a fair divorce settlement out of her, rather than 5 years time when she claims she is too sick/old to work and ne…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 09:04 PM
4

Congratulations. Good luck with the new chapter of your life without all the BS. Also great your kids are on the older side so you don't have to deal with parental alienation. Was the divorce a straightforward 50/50 with no alimony and 2 years child support? Do you have to re-mortgage to pay her the 200k? Would a prenup have made any difference?
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 08:57 PM
3

Eat healthily, drink water, get 8 hours of sleep in, take your vitamins and minerals, exercise, socialize, discover a worthwhile purpose or goal that you want to achieve. You may want to consider therapy or watching a psychological based Youtube channel like PsycHacks, Dr Orion Taraban, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 08:41 PM
-1

I really hate to say this but if men are unwise enough to get married, then they have to deal with the consequences of getting screwed over by biased judges. There's no gofundme necessary. Just don't get married. No marriage. No divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 08:35 PM
1

Its lose-lose. If you give her a call you will look like a push over in her eyes, and then she will take advantage of you even more by asking for more and more perks. If you don't give her a call you will look like a monster in family court. Especially if the judge is pro-mother as the kid is only 4.5 years old. Worst case scenario, if you don't give her a call, she will start to alienate the child against you in order to get revenge on you for not giving a call. I'm sorry if the above sounds di…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 08:31 PM
3

if you do return record what is going on to avoid false allegations definitely do not impregnate her. she will do parental alienation and put you on 18 years of child support.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 01:50 AM
11

if you have been thinking about it for a year, its time to pull the trigger. obvious divorce triggers are: she is always causing drama and chaos she is aggressive, bossy, combative and disagreeable she is disrespectful and moans and complains about you to others she is never happy its always your fault. zero accountability. never says sorry. start moving valuables (items and paperwork) to your parents. contact divorce lawyers and interview them. start doing lots of divorce reading on the interne…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 01:45 AM
11

its over. she will never forgive you for leaving and make her lose weight. you can return but you will definitely be divorced in the next 5 years anyway. the longer you stay in the marriage the more money and alimony and assets you will owe her. maybe she will try to get pregnant and claim 18 years of child support or make false allegations to the police against you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 01:34 AM
3

Facts. She has probably already contacted her divorce attorney and is currently hiding all her assets. Divorce is a no brainer as there are no kids involved.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 12:18 AM
8

Facts. Divorce now while there is no child support, no parental alienation, no custody battles. She will turn into the devil after kids and sleep deprivation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 12:16 AM
20

DEFINITELY divorce NOW before there are kids involved. If she is this bad now then your life will become a LIVING NIGHTMARE when kids show up and she is sleep deprived. She is going to be VERY HIGH CONFLICT in divorce but at least there are no kids, no child support, no parental alienation, no custody battles which is good. She has 4 HUGE red flags: 1) Mentally unstable. 2) No accountability. Accountability is her kryptonite. 3) She pretends to be nice and helpful in front of others because she …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 12:15 AM
0

I don't think its about hate. I think it is about the mathematics of risk vs reward, knowing about certain scientific realities of neuroscience and evolutionary biology, and fundamentals of human psychology. For example, around 80% of unmarried couples go through relationship breakdown. And around 50% of marriages go through divorce. So when you go into a relationship, you have to go into it knowing that "she is not your girl, it is just your turn" based on the maths and statistics of relationsh…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 05:19 PM
6

File for a modification in child support. Submit your new income to the court. Its worth a try.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 02:45 PM
2

It depends on negotiations. You don't get a fair split in divorce, you get what you can negotiate. If the case goes to court, every judge has a different opinion on what is fair and how to interpret the law. A single mom judge will have a completely different view compared to a judge who believes in keeping things simple.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 08:07 AM
2

She will demand the maximum amount but will probably negotiate down to 10% monthly income as long as you give her the house for example. Or she gets 70% of your income but you get the house. You don't get what you deserve, you get what you can negotiate. Welcome to the divorce games (a more awful version of the hunger games).
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 12:08 AM
3

UK is equitable distribution so expect to lose 60%, 70%, 80% or 90% of your assets. You will probably be on the hook for spousal support to help her improve her income so she can afford to rent somewhere. The kids are the court's first priority. Your situation is largely irrelevant. Moving into your parent's rent-free could make the situation worse for you because you now have more disposal income to pay over to her. The result of this whole situation will ultimately depend on how ruthless she, …
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 10:42 PM
1

Can we get a post-nup? Probably not. This case is a great example of why pre-nups are so important. The fact that the share option will count as income could end up being your downfall. Seems like a very bad move.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 10:31 PM
7

As other have said, it is impossible to make some people happy all of the time. Some people seem to have a psychological predisposition to always playing the victim, always having a grievance, always playing innocent, etc. For some people, your best efforts will never be enough. I have used my divorce as a time to reflect on my own psychology and the psychology of others. I have discovered that some people (including myself) are just not lifelong 60 year marriage type people. Relationship breakd…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 10:11 PM
7

I subscribed yesterday. I am probably subscriber 21,000. This is such a great community and I am grateful and humbled to be able to share my story, my experiences, and learn from others in the community.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 10:26 PM
5

I wouldn't act to buddy buddy or chummy chummy with him. You are ultimately the alpha here as they are your kids. She was forced to settle for this beta because she is a single mom and has lost some value in the dating marketplace. Just saying "hi" is fine and a strong handshake if he puts his hand out. Just focus on your kids. He will soon quickly realize himself why your marriage ended in divorce. You may want to crack a joke about the thing he tried to get your daughter to say. That should pu…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 08:24 PM
7

Women are not cold. They simply cope better as they have a better friendship network and want to move onto a new exciting chapter of their life, and find a new financial and emotional replacement. I believe this is genetically and evolutionary programmed into women to help them get over the loss of a partner if he runs away or passes away. This phenomenon is often described as "war brides". Women tend to live longer and tend to be weaker so they need to be able to adapt quickly and move on quick…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 08:01 PM
1

My response probably won't help you, but I am just trying to add some realism in. You can do everything right, however if your case goes to court, all it takes is one biased judge to ruin all your hard work and legal fees. This will be a bitter pill to swallow and could take you years to mentally, emotionally and financially recover. Ideally, you want things to be as amicable and fair as possible. However this is much easier said than done. These types of cases really to highlight the importance…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 07:53 PM
2

if the 200k corporate guy quits his job, his earning capacity is still 200k. however if the 200k corporate dude is made redundant because his skills are useless then his earning capacity and incoming share capacity are diminished.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 07:04 PM
4

3) One other piece of advice I would say is, also remember that the judge is just a human being with a heavy work load. They are probably not going to look into your divorce case as thoroughly as you would like as they have hundreds of other cases to deal with. This plus a lying spouse means that the courts are inevitable going to make mistakes and there will be miscarriages of justice which may not be worth fighting depending on legal fees and/or parental alienation issues.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:56 PM
4

If you are going to fight this (which may make your legal fees and co-parenting worse), I would say one strategy is to say she hasn't turned in discovery and the reason she has not turned in discovery is because she needs zero alimony and is trying not to incriminate herself. You need to argue the lack of discovery is evidence she is trying to frustrate the court's ability to come to an equitable decision and therefore based on the evidence zero alimony is due. This argument probably won't work …
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:52 PM
3

I believe imputation generally occurs where the judge believes that one spouse (normally husband) is deliberately lowering their earnings to avoid alimony and/or child support. The imputation is based on the husband's earning capacity.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:30 PM
2

Yes. This is a fair point. I don't think its the kids that are the problem. It is the marriage, divorce and family court system that wrecks havoc on people's lives. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:28 PM
2

How much does she actually need to survive? If she actually needs 2250 monthly to survive then she may win in court with the right judge. Can you afford to pay her 2250 monthly? If you can afford to pay her 2250 monthly for only 5 years then a particular type of judge that believes in equity and wealth transfer may agree that 2250 monthly is the correct figure because its only for 5 years. What do your incomes look like post-alimony payment. Some judges look to equalize monthly earnings post-div…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:24 PM
4

I don't think this works as the judge will impute income based on historical figures.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:18 PM
2

Alimony is needs based. How much does she need for her and the kids to survive?
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 06:14 PM
0

The idea that marriage is so dangerous that we need pre-nups to make it safe is crazy. The family courts should be ashamed of themselves. I really think judges and attorneys should be jailed if they break divorce laws or are biased in their judgements.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:15 PM
1

What about: 1) Mandatory pre-nups that cannot be thrown out. 2) 50-50 custody unless concrete evidence the father should not get it. And therefore no CS. 3) No common law marriage. 4) Judges and attorneys sentenced to prison if they break the above laws and are biased.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:13 PM
1

I've watched it. Which is why the laws need to be changed and judges and attorneys should be sentenced to prison if the judge breaks the law. 1) Mandatory pre-nups that cannot be thrown out. 2) 50-50 custody unless concrete evidence the father should not get it. And therefore no CS. 3) No common law marriage. 4) Judges and attorneys sentenced to prison if they break the above laws.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:11 PM
-1

Law enforcing pre-nups could not be thrown out. Law stating father could only lose custody if there is real evidence. Even if these laws aren't perfect they would benefit some men at least. Also, if you get married and have kids, you have to accept it comes with some risk. You can't completely eliminate all risk. This point really needs to be explained to some men.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:08 PM
1

Pre-nups cover assets, i.e. it can be stated that the bank balance goes to the owner of the account in the event of divorce. Pre-nups also cover no alimony. CS would be pretty much gone if the custody was assumed 50-50.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 04:17 PM
1

I agree with the common law part. We should definitely stop common law marriage being forced upon people by the state. Great suggestion. Bravo. Pre-nups 50-50 custody No common law
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 04:14 PM
1

A pre-nup is a contract signed before the wedding. A pre-nup can still stipulate that future assets (businesses, savings, retirement accounts, investments) are either split based on who owns it or split based on 50-50 if it is jointly owned, or some other ratio if needs be. You don't necessarily need a post-nup for future asset protection. Future asset protection can be stipulated in the pre-nup.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 04:12 PM
1

The courts do not seem to be well equipped when trying to figure out who is lying and who is telling the truth. And a absence of evidence is not the same as lying. Consequently, the courts will probably go with the person who cries the most out of sympathy to that person.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 03:32 PM
3

To be honest, if no fault divorce was ended, the husband or wife would lie to the court, and make false allegations to get out of the marriage. People would start provoking situations. People, collectively, would start losing millions or billions in legal fees and the courts would be clogged up. I hate to say it, but it is probably best for no fault divorce to exist.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 03:23 PM
4

bout everyone will have at least one close friend, (if not more) who ends up div This is one of the reasons I don't like it when men get blamed for divorce because they didn't check and assess their future wife properly. The problem is, even if you chose the right wife, she can become friends with a few divorcees and then suddenly the chance of divorce now increases by another 75%. No one explains this type of stuff to men before they get married.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 02:25 PM
3

Agreed. Unfortunately, it is common place for the children to be used as a pawn during the divorce settlement negotiation. No one has any idea how bad things get until they are actually in the thick of divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 02:18 PM
3

This is the type of stuff that no one explains to men when they first get married and have children. It is such a shame that so many men have to learn the hard way.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 02:16 PM
2

Marriage is a piece of paper with very real financial and legal consequences. However I agree with your premise that humans do not appear to be lifelong pair bonding species. Humans appear to be serially monogamous with the occasional polygamous mistake. Men appear to be driven by mating opportunities. While women appear to be driven by acquiring good genetics and resource provision. Unfortunately, modern day life does not seem to be compatible with having kids, hence the declining birth rates.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 01:07 PM
2

Thanks. I guess people's answers will vary depending on parental alienation, unfair visitation, false paternity, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:49 PM
0

Thanks. I guess it just depends on whether there is parental alienation and unfair custody involved.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:48 PM
5

Judges often turn a blind eye to the games being played during divorce because everyone is lying, playing games and he/she doesn't know the truth. They are unfortunately dealing with hundreds of cases at any one time, and just want to get the case over and done with as quickly as possible, so they can move onto the next case. If this means splitting the difference, or passing the burden onto the husband if he can afford it, then that is how they usually proceed.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 11:20 AM
3

If she wants more you could try to fight it in court. However, it will only make financial sense if you represent yourself, i.e. so you don't lose money on legal fees. If you are going to spend money on legal fees, then you might as well just give her the money in order to prevent any long term parental alienation, custody battles, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 10:56 AM
12

The fundamental problem with divorce is that if you settle and give her your 401k you lose a lot of retirement money. If you fight the loss of the 401k via the courts, then you lose a lot of money in legal fees and you will still probably lose some of the 401k. You are trapped between a rock and a hard place. You have to do some risk/reward calculations. If you fight her through the courts will she start doing parental alienation? This case illustrates the dangers of marriage and the importance …
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 10:29 AM
3

Please forgive me. It is a BBC article. Google "research suggests that if a close friend gets divorced, people’s own chances of divorcing rise by 75%"
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 09:51 AM
5

This is a great point. If someone files for divorce in December, the relationship problems and divorce planning probably started in January.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 08:56 AM
3

You can google "divorced friends psychology today" for the article.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 08:48 AM
3

Rollo, is that you?
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:27 AM
3

Incredible result. You don't hear that often hear this. Normally the husband loses custody, loses the house and is stuck on 18 years of child support and alimony. Well done sir.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:22 AM
20

One of the biggest predictors of divorce is your wife having divorced friends. If she has divorced friends, her chance of divorce increases by 70%. Divorce is essentially a social contagion because it spreads as it gets normalized.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:18 AM
6

Keep your head up and try to get involved in your child's school and other social events. Its the only way to counter her lies.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:15 AM
2

I agree with what you are saying. But I just think it is unrealistic as humans live longer and longer, and people have more and more options and temptation on social media. Our culture is now more about me, myself and I, rather than marriage. We used to live in a pro-marriage culture. Now we live in a pro-divorce culture.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:12 AM
17

Will be difficult to get out unscathed if there are two kids and the wife is pretty chaotic.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:08 AM
-10

Tough position. Your kids are probably 12 and 10. That is a lot of child custody battles, parental alienation, child support, asset loss, legal fees, etc. I have a feeling if you try to divorce her she will be difficult to divorce and bring her friends into it. May be better to wait 8 years and then divorce her once the kids are adults. Hopefully that helps to avoid some of the nastiness.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:07 AM
1

I don't necessarily think there is a problem with one person walking away. It is normal human behaviour. People leave unhappy jobs all the time. However marriage seems to fly in the face of all common sense and perceived wisdom. I wish as a culture we embraced divorce and separation so that it wouldn't be so painful when a relationship inevitably runs its course.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 11:57 PM
1

Unfortunately, in this day and age, relationships are temporary. Try to see it as an end of one chapter and beginning of another. Unfortunately, divorce should really be seen as the norm. Very few young people are going to be able to navigate a lifelong marriage. Those days have long gone.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 11:50 PM
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