TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

GottaPSoBad Archive

View 4 posts and 646 comments by GottaPSoBad on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I'm not her biggest fan, but I watch her stuff. Just looking at the comments here, it's telling that the two types of people who hate her seem to be either misogynist trolls or low-key misandrists. Seems like she's doing something right, just based off that.
/r/MensRights18/10/22 04:40 PM
1

That's some over long, out-of-context take down video trying to use old AF clips to paint a false narrative. Pearl herself has stated that she evolved from a feminist to a RP woman. No scandal here, just & trolls haters being haters & trolls.
/r/MensRights18/10/22 04:37 PM
1

I don't think you know what "grifter" means.
/r/MensRights18/10/22 04:32 PM
4

No answer kinda says it all. Ignore them. Some people find the truth offensive.
/r/MensRights18/10/22 04:23 PM
1

I'm not her, but I'd argue it's a "no," especially for the kids part.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 07:05 PM
8

This is a lot more logical and internally consistent than you're letting on IMHO. I'm admittedly biased since I have roughly the same view tho. It's kinda like how a guy who prefers poultry to seafood can still be a health inspector. In my opinion marriage is something that's good for a majority of people, but only if they do it right. Many people do it wrong (just as many people do most things wrong), so we're bombarded with the fail-cases. Nevertheless marriage can work. Kids I'm more ehhhh on…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 01:13 AM
6

You're making too much sense and being far too fair-minded, OP. No good will come of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 12:58 AM
13

I don't hate you. I just think you have issues and need therapy. A lot of people (male and female) simply shouldn't date until they've worked through their shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 10:12 PM
3

Q4M, and why are you arguing with all the replies? You're breaking multiple rules rn just to...what? Silence a discussion you don't like?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 05:02 PM
4

You realize a dismissive reply like this, from a woman no less, totally proves their point, right? Also, throw up some data if you're gonna insist something's "extremely rare" as a way of silencing all discussion about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 05:00 PM
0

I'm extremely dubious of the idea that you "did your best" if you: Have such a toxic personality Saw zero improvement If you want to actually make changes, let me know. One big thing I'm gonna suggest will obviously be therapy though, in addition to the stuff you claim to have tried already (I can probably give you big pointers on those too).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 04:42 PM
1

Reading profiles isn't mutually exclusive from caring about looks. Also... women arent as obsessive with looks the way the average man is. That's a lie. Please never say that again.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 04:34 PM
1

They don't, and they don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 05:05 PM
2

Isn't this a Q4M? I get that you kinda abandoned your own prompt from the title in the body of the OP, but the title is very much Q4M, not Debate. Anyway, I'd take the next step based on how I felt about her. There are definitely female friends that I wouldn't want to sleep with, just as there are some I'd try. I don't think a girl has to be uniquely unattractive to be a no-go for me, just not my type. Also the dynamics of the friendship, her personality, etc would obviously play a role. Do some…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 03:53 PM
1

Hopefully she can now be happy with herself. Unlikely.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 06:01 AM
6

Oh, I'm for sure still skeptical of Leo's dating practices myself. I'm just trying to throw a top quality comment in, based on something someone else told me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 04:28 AM
10

This girl is a poster child for why I'm anti-surgery. Not in the usual way, like the horrific cases where someone butchers themselves to look completely different. No, she's a perfect example of a person who wasn't ugly (objectively pretty, in fact), but did something completely unnecessary for no real benefit. Before and after are like... 8 vs 8 or 8 vs 7. It's pure body dysmorphia, obsessing over something that isn't actually a flaw.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 04:26 AM
117

It's too consistent to be purely coincidence, but it might not be as gross as people assume. There's a guy I met here who steel-manned the phenomenon of Leo's dating practices. Basically he said Leo dates party girls he meets in clubs, on beaches, et cetera. That demo skews younger. He clearly doesn't want marriage or kids, and most girls over a certain age do (including most of the girls he dumped, based on their future families). So he dumps them at a certain point, knowing they do (or will) w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 04:15 AM
2

You're making distinctions about "behavior" and "appearance," but the judgmental attitude still has plenty of overlap with avowed slutshamers. Lines like You can be promiscuous as hell, but compartmentalize, keep it private and not talk about it And be far more respectable Is a just equivocation. As is trying to parse out "trashy" vs "promiscuous." Most of what causes people to perceive someone to be a "slut" is observed behaviors, gossip/reputation, or appearance. And that's exactly why the dis…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 02:16 AM
2

Got it. Cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 01:57 AM
2

Just say "yes." Cuz this is a long, quibbling, roundabout way of saying "yes" to the OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 01:52 AM
2

What's "privately"?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 01:51 AM
1

You sound like you put actual thought into your post (not everyone does). I'd award it if I wasn't broke AF rn.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 12:05 AM
1

You're going to have to source that women still find it hard to find LTR that it's statistically significant. I'm not gonna "have to" do that actually. It's enough of a hot button, recurrent topic throughout the internet that this handwaving dismissal doesn't hold water. Women have this complaint, we've all seen it numerous times. For what it's worth, the actual data in this area--to the extent there is public or peer-reviewed data--usually isn't broken down in the exact way you're thinking. may…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 10:39 PM
0

I think we have the edge for the reasons I stated Exactly. "Think." You don't know, and if I asked you some basic questions about observable reality in dating & relationships (let alone the broader gender war), I'm confident I could prove the point. Example: Tell me why women, despite having advantages in online dating, still claim to have difficulty finding LTRs on it. (Not all, I'll grant, but enough to be a recurrent complaint on here and elsewhere.) Don't just scapegoat men in your response …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 10:00 PM
2

I haven't, but it's honestly irrelevant to OP's nonsensical rambling of a prompt. I appreciate the forum to shout down black-pilled narratives for the umpteenth time, so I'm happy the thread exists, but OP really wasn't making a ton of sense with how they wrote the intro.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:54 PM
1

Whataboutism? Saying men understand women better than vice versa is whataboutism? Huh? Anyway, I did counterpoint you. Here's your statement: Women know more about men but this is without trying or "studying". I countered this statement with my reply: "Women think they understand, but ... they're still not terribly great at truly understanding the opposite sex though, often because they make (incorrect) assumptions and don't want to challenge their own ideas as much."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:50 PM
1

Q4A: Do you believe some people shouldn’t bother trying even basic general improvements? No. And--"Hot Take"--anyone who says "yes" is a fucking asshole, sorry not sorry. Black-pilled bullshit thinking like "some people are hopeless or undatable" is a poison that we should debate into oblivion. I despise that mindset. Are there a good number of women who [will] never be skinny[?] Is "being skinny" an immutable characteristic? Last I checked, it wasn't. So WTF kind of question is that? or faciall…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:46 PM
0

You just repeated yourself without actually engaging with my point, but whatever. I'm honestly not trying to debate you, let alone convince you. I mostly replied because I want people reading the thread to see the counterpoint (what I might call "the truth").
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:31 PM
2

I'd say women are more conscious of gender and probably are inclined towards gendered thinking and gender essentialism. But men, at least the smart ones, are much better at understanding women than vice versa. Mostly women think they understand men and they, along with society, don't do as much to question that presumption. Women also don't suffer too much from their false assumptions about men, so who cares if they don't actually understand men as well as they think they do? Men who actually do…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:28 PM
3

I love you, bro. This is very much in the "aut AF" genre of Reddit posts, but actually wholesome AF because it's not hateful or misguided.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:11 PM
1

I'm extremely dubious of this. Women think they understand, but their behavior and their struggles in Western society--with significantly less barriers to success and plenty of gendered privileges--put the lie to that theory. At best, the average woman is more willing to acknowledge the role of gender differences as a matter of framing things. They're still not terribly great at truly understanding the opposite sex though, often because they make (incorrect) assumptions and don't want to challen…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:09 PM
1

Basically this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:05 PM
1

None of these women sound like High-value females, but I totally get your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:46 PM
2

XD
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 06:19 PM
21

Surprisingly solid advice. Importantly, guys gotta read and fully internalize both parts.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 06:16 PM
2

Gonna preface this by saying I absolutely hate this question I don't. I'd even suggest that way more people should be asking it to themselves and their peers more often. Would probably help things in the dating space. as if you have to have some extra worth in order to be deserving of someone loving you. Yes and no. I believe everyone should be treated fairly, but I don't think anyone is owed a relationship. Plus it's just a fact that people who have certain positive traits are more likely to ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 09:18 AM
4

People who have a hard time looking inward (and maybe don't like what they see there) feel attacked by the question, I'd guess. They'd rather reject the premise than acknowledge that maybe they don't bring much to the table. Or at least they don't really know what they bring.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 08:47 AM
2

You're a male replying to a Question for Women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:16 PM
1

Q4W
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 06:38 PM
6

Jews for example refer to non-Jews as Gentiles, but Gentiles don’t go around calling themselves Gentiles, it’s an imposed label. This analogy is spot on. The problem is people here do unthinkingly call themselves "Blue Pill" as if it actually has meaning and an articulable set of beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 03:44 AM
2

There is no Blue Pill. You're just someone who doesn't agree with TRP. Don't identify as a term chosen by your opponent, especially not one which implies you're naive at best and willfully ignorant at worst.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 03:03 AM
11

There is no Blue Pill. That's literally it. Anyone who claims otherwise is engaging in sophistry. TRP, per their own allegory, is the "truth" and Blue-Pill(er)s are just people who haven't accepted that truth. Blue Pill is basically just a slur TRP uses to describe normies. The fact that people who disagree with TRP willingly take on said slur as an identity is the most stupid, self-owning nonsense I've ever seen on a debate community tbh. It'd be like Pro-Choicers willingly calling themselves A…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 02:58 AM
1

Yes, they are. As are men. As are all humans. We are all emotionally-driven beings who are ruled by their lizardbrains instead of reason, women aren't any special. In different ways. Flattening everything like that is unhelpful. The mistakes women make in dating aren't the exact same mistakes men make. Men's problems aren't necessarily women's problems. Women's standards are higher than men's, period. But they're higher at the outset, not during the relationship. Men's standards are lower, and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 09:46 PM
1

I rhetorically suggested that a person who claims to have spent a lot of time with rich people, the implication being that said person is rich too, should hang out with different rich people, mainly to get perspective. Maybe stateside. Yes, possibly overseas. How silly of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 08:06 PM
1

Man, why are you so salty? You started the thread in bad faith, arguing around the real crux of what people mean when they talk about women's standards. Again, I infer you did this because there's little defense or apologia for the reality that women's standards are unreasonable. Again, you haven't done much to counter any of that. Mostly I just riled up when people try to play dumb or act like they're not doing things that they obviously are. This is also an alt of mine that I've cultivated a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 08:02 PM
1

Not what I said, which is one reason why paraphrasing a short statement rather than quoting is kinda silly. Anyway, you're not the person I replied to (unless you just outed your own alt), so wtf? Maybe stay in your line. To address your snippy comment though, my point was that trashy people with money don't represent all people with money. A lot of nouveau riche people in America (and yes, other countries) are trashy. Families with generational wealth tend not to be like that, especially in mix…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 07:33 PM
1

I never said it was only about mental. Do you want me to quote the OP back to you? Or produce screenshots in case you edit? Let's not play games, okay? You talked about personality, social skills, and morals. Again, all mental. Nothing on looks. Literally, looks aren't mentioned once in either of your two large paragraphs. I inferred that you did this because acknowledging the beauty component would invalid your whole premise. So far it still seems I'm right on the money. that women are just as …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 07:21 PM
2

There are a lot of work environments outside of tow yards and office buildings. Hospitals, airports, restaurants, on and on. Again, your inability to think outside your own bubble just shows people shouldn't put much stock in your opinion, I'm sorry. Don't make declarative statements if you don't fully know what you're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 06:27 PM
2

The fact that you think this is some general rule proves only one thing: Your opinion in this area is biased AF, and not terribly useful. Some men (at all different levels) like submissive women, some don't. Saying all successful guys don't like trad wives is like saying all UMC people work in offices, i.e. a generalization. It's just your myopia talking. EDIT: Also "submissive" doesn't even automatically mean trad. Could just be demure, or more feminine, or introverted (or a combo).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 06:18 PM
17

Sounds like you just grew up with trashy people who happened to be rich. Spend some more time around old money, especially in Europe, and then reassess.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 05:11 PM
6

Very good assessment. You're basically describing a HVF. The simple truth is that a HVF generally has the best shot at getting into an actual relationship with a HVM (not just hookup/FWB), so I think you're on the track here.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 05:07 PM
1

Q4W
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 05:02 PM
2

Nice strawman/swerve you got there. Making it about the mental rather than the physical? Chef's kiss. Really helps you dodge the real issue, which is that women are just as shallow as men on looks (if not worse) AND refuse to lower their standards (unlike men).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 05:00 PM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 03:26 PM
1

Sure. And negging is considerably more ethical than threats or lies. It's solidly in the convincing/seduction camp. It's basically just flattery by way of reverse psychology. Again, we can debate its value, but it's not unethical just because some women (and white knights) resent how certain negging scenarios play out.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:39 PM
1

It's just a psychological tactic. Flattery is similar. So is peacocking. Do you think those are unethical?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:33 PM
10

I'm not him, but I agree with what I think his basic thesis is here. I'll offer my stance (which hopefully mirrors his), just to be clear: Don't marry someone you don't love+trust and don't (attempt to) procreate with someone you don't love+trust. Every single case of mistaken paternity I've ever heard of has involved a man flouting the above. I'm not unsympathetic to the plight of paternity fraud, I just think the way most guys on the internet talk about it is a little disingenuous and hyperbol…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:30 PM
7

You should really reread my reply then.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:22 PM
1

Negging isn't unethical. We can debate its value as a tool but it's objectively not unethical.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:20 PM
12

My brother in Allah, please touch some damn grass.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:18 PM
7

Trying to prove a silly point. Mostly just moral grandstanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:14 PM
4

Great retort.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:13 PM
38

Why bother with these kinds of threads, people? With the possible exception of Sark and a few others on the female side, and maybe a couple crazy dudes on the male side, no one answers this stuff in the way you're hoping for. It's either a predictably self-serving/flattering response or they just ignore it because they feel called out. What cheater would come in and say, "sure, provide my partner proof I'm an asshole"? C'mon, Jimmy Neutron, freaking think about it for a minute. No one's gonna be…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 11:13 PM
1

I think Ghostbusters: Answer the Call is the only one of these that qualifies.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 10:03 PM
2

I think certain men shouldn't use them, but it's more a matter of goals and mindset than anything. I reject the implicit premise/framing in the OP basically. If you're more "boring," traditional, and/or just don't like peacocking and games (or gamesmanship), you should generally avoid apps. Additionally, they definitely still favor hookups more than LTRs (even if less so than before). But the idea that a guy can't succeed on apps purely because of immutable characteristics is just more doomer/in…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 10:00 PM
3

Sounds a weird girl and an outlier/strawman as a post topic. Most women don't behave like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 09:06 PM
2

This is a long-winded way of making the "I was born ugly and doomed" argument, which I find to be largely bullshit. Show me a guy who can't get a date and I'll show you one who isn't Doing the Work and/or Being Reasonable, literally every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 09:03 PM
1

I mean...have you actually done it? Not just heard about it, done it. Cuz I have, as have several men I know. We've also crunched the numbers and read the rooms. All this as average to above average guys, mind you. Girls overwhelmingly don't want to be hit on at cons, game nights, et cetera. I respect it btw. They explain why very well, and it's usually either that they're with someone already (probably 60 to 70 percent), or they just want to enjoy their hobby in peace.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 09:31 PM
1

Okay? None of that negates what I wrote, also I was specifically replying to a guy who was giving kinda wonky dating advice. Yes, plenty of con goers are regular people. Yes, some are even sexy. Yes, sexy people hook up all sorts of places, even cons. But for the vast, overwhelming majority of con goers, sex and dating should be--and in women's cases, already is--the last thing on their minds. That's all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 05:31 PM
2

Basically this.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:30 PM
2

There's really isn't an ideology that suits both equally. Ahem. I have that ideology. It just has the side effect of demanding accountability from both sides, therefore they all reflexively resent it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:28 PM
1

This is all very well said, especially a modern feminist movement that unconditionally values women’s empowerment over consistent gender equality & fairness whenever the two are at odds. I've struggled to articulate this so eloquently and succinctly myself. Spot on. I've literally argued over egalitarianism with feminists, because the reality is that modern feminism is not the pure equality movement that 1st & 2nd Wave Feminism was.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:26 PM
1

Short answer is no. But TRP, like any other philosophy or handbook with actual things to say about observable reality, is worth looking into at bare minimum. I repeatedly tell people that TRP isn't the answer, but it's at least tackling the real questions/issues (whereas many other dating & relationship ideologies are practically in fantasy land).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:20 PM
15

I'll go super Ehhhh on the notion that most guys raving about their dating woes oh the internet are above average in attractiveness. Average maybe (in aggregate), but above seems implausible (again in aggregate). Also profile pictures should always be taken with a grain of salt. All that said, the core disconnect you're hitting on, OP, is right there in your framing: Women, from their perspective, are being asked to date down. How/why so? Because they consistently overrate themselves and underra…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:16 PM
1

You can keep pretending like I'm wrong all you want, but you're only making yourself look patronizing, bad faith, and terrible at discourse in the process. I've made nothing but logical points, admittedly backed by anecdotes in some cases, but still logical points. You've barely engaged with these points in good faith, and you definitely have not refuted any of the following... Places with predominantly male attendance, like sports-related ones, geek culture hubs, and the like, aren't a great pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:03 PM
1

Whatever you say, my guy. In the real world, the girls that go to male dominated arenas are either with their BF or otherwise not interested. I've seen enough guys strike out at sporting events, cons, and whatnot to know. You wanna pretend that's not the case, you're free to live in fantasy land. And again, working girls go wherever they choose. I've seen guys who looked like Steve Urkel get hit on by dime-pieces at bars. I'm guessing the girls weren't just into dudes with glasses.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 06:03 AM
2

Also if you think a woman approaching a man in a sport club or expo/convention is a professional you really need to get out more. As guy who's actually been to all of these, I can assure you I know the vibes. The vast majority of women there are spoken for or otherwise not looking to mingle in that way. The vast majority of men aren't what single women are looking for. Plus women don't approach men under most normal circumstances anyway, let alone at places like that. Even with all those caveats…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 05:46 AM
2

Okay, now I think you're just trolling.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:39 AM
2

[sigh] I feel like you only read, and engaged with, the smallest amount of what I actually wrote. Look, you're clearly pretty far down the black-pilled, femcel rabbit hole. All I'll say is, you have every opportunity to dig yourself out of it. Touch grass, young lass.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:28 AM
3

Due respect and all, OP, but you sound very young (amongst other things). Let's firstly get something out of the way. You don't want a general "Peace" or armistice in the Battle of the Sexes. You just want to succeed in your personal own goals romantically. Those are two very different things. The latter is actually achievable, for a start. It seems quite clear that men and women have different objectives in sex and love Some do, some don't. It's all a matter of having reasonable objectives and …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:03 AM
2

I'll just say this, with all due respect to the men involved: I've never, literally never, heard of a paternity dispute where there were zero problems in the relationship (i.e. red flags). You can come back at me with "no duh, she cheated," but my point is that a lot of these cases are men who picked the wrong woman and ignored the signs. Don't marry someone you don't trust, don't attempt to procreate with someone who you believe might cheat on you, and definitely don't sign a birth certificate …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 11:01 PM
2

You have the beginnings of a decent point, but your examples kinda put doubt on how well you've thought it out. For women: Dating apps, nightclubs, bars, Reread the OP to understand why all these are wrong. some sports clubs, Sci fi and fan expo conventions - all are very favourable to women The guys there aren't exactly prime real estate. Also, if I saw a random girl coming onto a guy at one of these, I'd assume she was a professional (unless the guy was some HVM outlier). For men: Knitting cla…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 10:43 PM
1

OP stated relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 10:36 PM
1

Are your answers to "Where can I meet guys" and "where can I meet women" the same? Yes and no. The best places for people to meet are generally going to be the same, which is what makes them the best places. That is said, some places may benefit one gender more than another. I'd also argue that a woman who's asking the former question probably had other issues than simply location. Women have so many built-in advantages in the dating market that any woman who's literally having trouble meeting g…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 10:35 PM
1

Okay, fair. I'm admittedly not an expert on Leonardo DiCaprio's personal life. XD I guess the defense for him and lifestyle would be...he doesn't want to settle down, so he prefers women who don't either (at least initially). I still can't imagine there's zero hot, non-clingy women in their thirties or forties who share his values, but I guess focusing on younger girls does make it easier (especially if you're always going to youthful places anyway).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/22 07:10 PM
1

Do your research and get back to us. <_< My only point to the top replier was that a guy who specifically has an age fetish might not be the best example to argue his point.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/22 02:24 PM
1

It's all conjecture, the speculation on his reasoning. Is it entirely possible that some of his thinking matches what you suspect? Sure. Still, the objective reality we know for certain, and can measure, is that he never dates anyone 26 or older. I highly doubt every 26-year-old girl he's known, or could know, is sweating him on marriage/commitment in a way that girls just one year younger aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/22 02:16 PM
2

The unfortunate reality is that in-laws are often nicer to their children than they are to their children's spouses. So the kid doesn't recognize how bad the tension is. Still not a great excuse though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 03:51 PM
2

This makes sense. It honestly blows my mind how many couples get married knowing there's tension with the in-laws. I get that love is blind and you can't pick your parents, but I'd think more people would at least try to resolve (or just avoid) the kinds of horror stories people often talk about with in-laws before the wedding.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 03:49 PM
1

You're starting to have really good takes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 07:29 AM
2

Dicaprio dates early 20s hot models because they're hot models willing to date him, not because they're in their early 20s. He basically dumps them all on or before their 26th birthday though, so maybe the best example for your argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 02:29 AM
1

Cool, bro. You enjoy whatever narrative helps you justify a fatalistic worldview and lifestyle. Peace out. ☮️
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 08:16 PM
0

Yes, for one simple reason: Exclusivity is a choice. If you don't want to be exclusive, you can just say that beforehand. Cheating isn't necessary, especially in an age where Ethical Non-Monogamy, consensual cuckolding, and various other things are far more openly discussed. If you cheat in this era, you're arguably an even bigger POS than previous generation's cheaters. Is there a difference between men and women cheating in a marriage or relationship? What do you mean by this? Are you asking a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 08:00 PM
2

No, you're trying to flatten everything and argue false equivalencies. I mentioned New York as an example of a cosmopolitan place with a lot to do, but described a shut-in who'd be objectively boring AF to most people. The Wisconsinite in my scenario is actually out in the world, living life. So again, will you engage with the fact that a shut-in is less attractive than someone who goes outside and actually does stuff? Cuz that's the crux of the issue, regardless of region, income, or other vari…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 07:50 PM
2

And a New Yorker will never be interested in your Cheese Museum. Thats what I'm saying: You like being outdoorsy and for the next guy it will be the most boring shit he ever heard. Different people like different stuff. Revolutionary take. <_< Now, are you gonna engage with the fact that certain hobbies, interests, and lifestyles are inherently more niche and unattractive than others? Cuz that's clearly what I'm talking about, and you seem hellbent on ignoring that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 07:40 PM
3

Which leads us back to the first statement: Hobbies that interest nobody. You seem to be missing my point: Being outdoorsy and adventurous at home is similar to being outdoorsy and adventurous on vacation. Every state in the U.S. has something special in it, to say nothing of various other places people live in. If I live in Wisconsin and visit parks, landmarks, and yes, the Cheese Museum, I'm a lot more interesting than a New York that never leaves his (friend's/family's) basement. Proving ones…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 07:21 PM
2

You need better friends, OP. That and/or stop bringing your problems to strangers (often idiots) on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 07:10 PM
2

Do you prefer beauty or youth? What's the difference? XD Question for men, though women are welcome to answer too! That's not how a Q4M works, or at least not how it's supposed to. I'm sure some women will butt in regardless though. (Q4M & Q4W only stay gender segregated when the mods pipe up.) What’s your age Early thirties. do you want kids Fuck no. would you prefer an exceptionally beautiful 35 year old or a more average 20 year old? Which one's more neurotic and/or a worse hang? There are ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 07:05 PM
1

The nicest thing I can say is that I appreciate your honesty. I'd normally add "good luck" as well, but I can't in earnest (let alone in good conscience) here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:47 PM
1

You don't have hobbies that interest somebody else. Tell me about your hobbies. Because it shows that you have the money to afford to travel and do all those things. Maybe, but there's plenty of life to live right at home, often for free (or cheap). Go to the beach and surf, go hiking or camping in a local wooded area.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:44 PM
1

Don’t argue semantics. You didn’t say attractive but it was in that vein. It was not though. You're reading that into it because you have a fixation on looks and "pretty vs not" conflict theory dynamics. Let’s agree to both be bored here yes have a good day madam or sir or whatever you are I get that you're probably hedging your bets for specifically PC reasons, but I think a few people (maybe one in twenty) have legitimately thought my gender was ambiguous from my posts. It always amuses me to …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:34 PM
1

I don't resent them. I just won't date them or fully find them attractive until I see them without a beard. But inherent in this is the assumption that the beard isn't a valid part of them, or that their underlying skin and chin might prove disqualifying (which is both illogical and unfair IMHO). It's why there's certain hairstyles that are commended for specific face shapes. Same for men. And so, what if I should demand a woman shave it all off before I can adequately judge her? Maybe she has a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:29 PM
2

There’s a reason your initial example was literally “I’m sure if a guy was asked out by an attractive girl…” Never said "attractive," but whatevs. The average woman does think she’s better because the average woman tries to look nice outside. The average woman still wears makeup, shaves her legs, and tries to dress for her body type. The average male doesn’t even want to get a sense of style because they might be seen as gay by their peers. Part of me could say "no argument here." Part me does b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:24 PM
1

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ Anecdotal Evidence incoming… I've been polite to "ugly" girls when they hit on me. So have some (not all) of my male peers. You're absolutely right that looks play a role, but I still think egoism and the normalcy of certain patterns do too. If a girl thinks she's better than a guy, even if she actually isn't, she's inclined to treat him worse. The average woman does think she's better than the average guy, there's ample data on this. And that, coupled with a comparative abundance …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:13 PM
2

I agree so hard. Besides the fact that many people do talk themselves out of relationships/friendships by being bland AF, the underlying premise of this OP is a nice alternative to the usual pillism we see here. OP is arguing that you can make yourself better if you just try. OMG I love it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:06 PM
1

That's...a bad take? You seem to be fixating on the idea of a "bad chin," which I personally think is overrated (if not outright bullshit). Then you're shitting on beards in general? I could make a similar argument about women's hair. It's a personal preference, not something to resent a person over.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:58 PM
2

Yeah, that's a lot. I pretty much already knew much of that anyway. We both seem to have similar general knowledge bases, if slightly different intuitions in this area. We could probably end up agreeing more than we differ. I already realize that men are starved for attention (on average) and women have too much (on average). I thus have sympathy for a woman not wanting to be hit on. I'd further stipulate that the overly online dudes who say that guys want to be hit on are probably also a little…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:53 PM
2

I'm not much into both-sideing things, so I wouldn't say my position is that “Women are just as bad as men.” In the case of rejection, as your example lays out, even a garbage man can be more graceful in responding to the advances of a woman than many women are when responding to men. Sure, some women are graceful AF and I applaud them for it. But many aren't. On the male side, chances are some men do react shittily to being hit on. I'd wager it's not a statistical majority though, especially av…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:29 PM
8

The cringe, the CRINGE. I suppose this is the end result of pseudoscientific pillheads taking this "everything is systems and biology" nonsense to its illogical conclusion. The reality is not everything in the real world of human adults matches up perfectly with something you could read or write in a biology class. Touch some damn grass and talk to regular people (like a regular person) instead of overthinking everything in the basement for a change.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:23 PM
1

Probably, tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:17 PM
1

Elaborate on your point more perhaps. Not sure what you're trying to say or what should be addressing/rebutting here
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:16 PM
2

I mean, most of this thread is women getting rejected and taking the wrong lessons from that rejection, so...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:13 PM
1

Not really. Unless OP edited recently, it looked pretty neutral and empathetically worded to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:10 PM
5

The wildest part is many took the exact wrong lesson from it. Instead of gaining perspective and empathy, they just dug their heels further into the "men are jerks" ideology.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:09 PM
1

I'm pretty sure most guys still, on average, react better to being hit on than most women. That is all.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:07 PM
2

Basically. It probably doesn't help that the selective sample is gonna lean heavily towards such things. It'd be great if Sadie Hawkins dances and proper speed dating setups (where the men sit) were more normalized, just so a broader section of women could get the reps in. The results would be much better than people realize.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:06 PM
5

So even racists have more tact than many women when it comes to being hit on? Hmm. (I'm...joking? Am I? I feel like this is a legit takeaway.)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:03 PM
2

The entire premise of this thread points up how nonsensical it is to call oneself a "Blue-Pill" in earnest. If you acknowledge even one iota of TRP has value, you're not a Blue-Pill, you're just a skeptical normie. A true Blue-Pill (per the allegory/mythos) is literally ignorant, often blissfully and/or willfully so, and would never make such an acknowledgement.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 04:59 PM
1

It's one of the beards bros' secret weapons. Seth Rogan talks about it sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 04:07 PM
1

You're not gonna make a compelling rebuttal, let alone change my mind, by trying to argue corner-cases. I'm aware of all of them anyway. Here's my bright line when it comes to surgery: Is it medically necessary? In other words, is it fixing something a body medicine doc diagnosed as detrimental. If yes, I give my blessing. Cleft palate, boob reductions, and some fixes for other verified disabilities (or near disabilities). But the problem with you pillheads pitching surgery is it's always cosmet…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 04:06 PM
5

Bald here. Can confirm it's cool. The world doesn't care, in general. The only people who'll know the difference are your friends and family. Assuming they're mentally and emotionally mature, they probably won't care much either.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:54 PM
1

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/cons-of-plastic-surgery_n_5618623/amp
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:52 PM
3

I'm very anti plastic surgery for a number of reasons, not the least of which being this: People can, through other (natural) means, achieve the same minute improvements you claim it offers. Like I said, diet and exercise are huge. While you're fixated on immutable characteristics and going down the body dysmorphia route, I can show you guys that made tangible level ups just by going to the gym.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:00 AM
0

Did a cursory Reddit check. From what I can see, the guy is definitely trying but not quite there yet. Also probably working through some residual issues from his past. The extent to which we can say he's "doing all those things" is thus open to debate. I don't doubt his sincerity, mind you, I just wonder if maybe he's a good case study. Regardless, I wish him luck. And I really wish more people would at least be like him and make an effort, rather than just whinging on the net.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:55 AM
1

I personally believe that we are more capable of change, including in personality, than we sometimes give ours credit for. I grant that it's hard, and I recognize that telling a guy "just change your personality" flippantly is like telling a girl "just change your butt." Both can be changed with effort, but it's hard. How do you change your personality? You start by doing the other shit, frankly. Triage. Pick something that's highly actionable first, then work your way through the rest. Clean yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 05:49 AM
11

Broadly agree, with a few slight mods Build a lean body (with exercise). Don’t be fat or too skinny Have a cool hairstyle, or go full Jordan/Moby if you're bald
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:53 AM
9

You almost offered good advice here. Fuck surgery, don't lie, and tats are too polarizing (hit or miss in terms of appeal). Get better looking (skincare, hairstyle) This is the good shit. I'd add fashion sense, diet, and exercise.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:48 AM
0

The average man has poor dating prospects in comparison to the average woman, what is something men can do to improve their SMV Even if I might quibble with the framing, I appreciate any post that's legitimately asking for help and premised around self-improvement rather than self-pity. So thanks for this. Assuming 5/10 looks, 5’9, average personality One of these things is nothing like the others. Actually two, technically. Almost every guy can improve their looks with better diet, exercise, se…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:44 AM
2

Bro, you gotta fucking chill. Jesus Christ.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:15 AM
2

This is the only correct and honest way to answer OP's question in the affirmative.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 04:07 AM
3

Why can't I stay away? Ugh... The reason Women in western culture can have power over men is because Men have no higher purpose than getting laid. Big nah on that one. Men have plenty of other purposes in life. Not only did you myopically ignore all of said other purposes, you simply begged the question vis-a-vis your "getting laid" supposition. Where's the proof? Even if I granted that desire for heterosexual relationships was a huge driver for men, I'd still argue it's more complicated than ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 07:25 AM
16

Yes and no. (I hate equivocal answers as much as anyone, but it's actually necessary here.) Yes, women should ask qualified, vetted men for dating advice. One of my core beliefs is that men understand the dating space better than women, even if women are de facto more privileged, and arguably more successful, in it. No, not all married men are qualified to give advice. Some have been out of the scene so long that they don't understand it anymore. Some got married under such rushed, forced, or ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 04:11 AM
2

Great example. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 05:53 PM
3

I truly appreciate that. Combination of factors are sorta pushing me out, not least of which being toxic regulars (including a newish guy with no real ideas and a creepy tendency to cloyingly call people by pet names during arguments). Hitting my head against the wall vis-a-vis the class thing was kinda the last straw. I stated it perfectly in my reply to you, so I thank you for giving me the chance to iron out my thoughts like that if nothing else. But yeah, I can't keep messing around with the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 07:46 AM
2

If your argument is that many overly online people sabotage themselves (or simply don't try) when it comes to dating, I don't disagree. I'd softly suggest you reread my OP and maybe check my other replies in this community. I'm far from an incel apologist. I just think some people who have it easier are liable to disregard the struggles of others. This thread, my last one on this blasted sub, was just trying to outline yet another axis along which people are talking past each other, thus making …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 06:58 AM
2

Very interesting hypothesis. Do you think the middle class are under some illusion that the people living in the extremes of poverty and wealth aren't? Or could it be that the princes and paupers of the world are just more carefree/detached than those with (stereotypically) suburban values?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 02:32 AM
1

Fair delineation. I saw 5'8 and 5'9 on multiple sources, but either way it's below 6 feet.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 09:39 PM
2

Average height in North America is roughly 5'10". That said, plenty of dudes are taller and plenty of dudes are shorter. That's why it's an average. Wouldn't surprise me one bit that a decent number of preppy sons were taller, cuz they probably had tall genes passed down by successful parents and grandparents. None of this means short(er) guys are doomed btw (I hate that narrative).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 09:33 PM
9

We're all capable of surprising each other once in a while. Apparently what I said went over like a lead balloon to the masses though (as usual).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 07:20 PM
37

My two pillars of advice or whatever are Do the Work and Be Reasonable. Everyone who's struggling in dating needs to hear and understand both of those, but there's a generally gendered difference in which person needs to hear which one more (and take it to heart). Men, on average, need to Do the Work. Stop lamenting your lot in life, stop making excuses or looking for reasons to give up. Improve yourself in mind and body, then put yourself out there into the real world. Do the damn work. Women, …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 06:44 PM
18

Honestly? You kinda got a point here. Also one thing that annoys me to no end is how so many people are unaware of the wealth disparity in the West. I've had to explain to multiple people that the average person doesn't live alone because at least 60% of people can't afford to.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 05:54 AM
2

🤦
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 05:51 AM
2

It's not a new perspective, it's literally just the golden rule mixed with some additional fortune cookie "wisdom."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 05:14 AM
1

I’m personally all about self improvement and personal growth Okay... but I think it’s naive and selfish to expect other people to change for you. I can sorta agree with you in terms of this exact wording, but there's a broader context and truth you seem to be missing. It's actually something a lot of people miss, which is weird since it should follows logically from the notion that individuals should improve themselves: Everyone's fucking up, and therefore everyone needs to improve. The specifi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 05:11 AM
0

Oh spare me the monkish nonsense. It's patronizing AF and you're not even faking it well. I lost my top. Whatever. You said fuck all in terms of novel concepts or meaningful, actionable solutions. I won't apologize for calling you or OP out. Have a great one, Cabron. Later.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 04:48 AM
0

I replied to your OP already. Said OP specifically refuses to accept solutions that involve personal action and responsibility, which are key to the advice I always offer on this sub. You seem to want some kinda macro, potentially governmental solution to what are ultimately personal problems. 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 04:45 AM
2

There's no fucking advice there. Not really. He admits himself what he's saying is generic. It read like a fucking fortune cookie at the end. Again, trite and unhelpful. Jesus Christ, am I in the Bizarro World?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 04:42 AM
2

Tell me why you want only macro solutions to people's dating problems. Tell me why personal solutions aren't valid. I'm willing to listen, truly.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 04:39 AM
-4

I'm annoyed that you said a whole lot of nothing and OP wants to give you a medal for it. I'm further annoyed you made an under-supported statement about the nature of human relationships as if it were fact, then offered a "source" that doesn't actually support your claim. You can be the nicest guy in the world, but if you spout bullshit and get undue praise for it, that's gonna piss people off. Trying to argue poorly when you get called out will only compound the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 04:35 AM
-1

In sum, we conclude that while there are many ethnographic examples of variation across human societies in terms of mating patterns, the stability of relationships, and the ways in which fathers invest, the residential pair-bond is a ubiquitous feature of human mating relationships. This, at times, is expressed through polygyny and/or polyandry, but is most commonly observed in the form of monogamous marriage that is serial and characterized by low levels of extra-pair paternity and high levels …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 04:26 AM
1

It was a lot of words just to say something trite and ultimately unhelpful. You can pretend his statement is deeper than it is all you want, but I'm thoroughly unimpressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 04:21 AM
2

Let's get meta! Almost every post I see on this sub involves someone complaining, and then a debate in the comments about whether those complaints are valid or not. It’s rare to see someone offering an actionable solution to any of the complaints here. It's rare, but it happens. I've offered mine in at least one OP, and touched upon it several times in replies to other people's threads and comments throughout the sub. If your answer is women should do x or men should do y, keep in mind that expe…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 04:19 AM
1

Due respect and all, but I don't see what he said as a particularly thoughtful reply. I could basically sum up his thesis as "yeah modernity kinda sucks and there's no answer." Also the supposition that humans weren't meant to be monogamous isn't well founded, let alone agreed upon.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 04:11 AM
7

The vast, overwhelming majority of people are capable of finding love if they Do the Work and Be Reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 02:07 AM
3

Hey, I feel you. I do. But what's the alternative? Tap out? Plus, on the bright side, it does get better/easier with time and practice. I'm much better at dating and relationships in my thirties than I was in my twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 01:13 AM
3

I'm not arguing with anyone dude, You replied to me, disagreed with something I said, and offered a counter-narrative. Is that not the basis for an argument? (Check the dictionary.) you're turning it into one by being kind of a dick. Eh. I am what I am, s'all that I am. Still think you maybe don't quite understand what the definition of "argument" is. Your average guy scenario is way off imo but it depends how old "jim" is. Your average guy in his late 20s and up definitely has his own place and…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 10:32 PM
1

I mean, I generally try to meet women at clubs, parties, and such. But to each their own. I would just caution that not all coed hobbies are a good option. Most women at sporting events, game nights/tournaments, and other such things are already with their partners. But dance classes, yoga classes, and certain other places are definitely viable. Basically, if you go down the hobby route, pick stuff that women like more than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 09:58 PM
5

Personality plays a big role, chum. The "snark" you speak of is based on how I always see you on here talking shit and whining about things, but not actually being productive or offering solutions. If someone goes about things the wrong way, they won't get anywhere. So in a way you're right, albeit for the wrong reasons. Case in point: I once was so awkward and lost that I thought just going through the motions of asking a girl out was all that I had to do. But I wasn't doing anything to actuall…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 09:42 PM
3

I wouldn't describe "there are no adult autistic groups here" as "why not" Every time I answer one of your questions or offer advice, you come back with some reason why what I'm saying won't work in your specific case. Some of said reasons seem more subjective than objective to boot. Avoidant Personality is a thing, no offense. Some people just look for reasons not to try. as for the hobbies, is it really your advice to take hobbies you don't like just to meet women? I never actually said anythi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 09:35 PM
3

Again, you asked for advice and I gave it. If you wanna look for reasons why not instead of trying, that's up to you. Best of luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 09:25 PM
2

I don't feel bad about turning people down when being asked out. I don't feel the need to say that i have someone already to make them feel better abt themselves, it's not up to me to coddle someone's ego and make them feel better abt themselves. I'll straight up say "i'm not interested" and not feel bad abt it, bc I DON'T OWE ANYONE ANYTHING. I honestly agree. The worst rejections I've ever had were from women trying to spare my feelings rather than be straight with me. If they react immaturely…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 09:22 PM
3

Only if you're doing it "right." 😉 (Shout out to the kink community!) In all seriousness though, no. The assumption that sex is inherently degrading is just some puritanical tradcon bullshit. Any woman (or man) who earnestly thinks this is probably pretty messed up tbh. Unhealthy relationship with sex start in one's youth (learned from parents and other elders) and then fester over time. Be very wary of these people.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 09:16 PM
2

I can make it even simpler: Most people don't want vanilla sex, period. If your partner isn't making you happy in bed, folks, talk to them. If they refuse to listen, get out.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 09:10 PM
2

More than you're evidencing by constantly whinging on Reddit everyday, that's for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 09:02 PM
7

[sigh] Hello, darkness, my old "friend." What should I be saying instead? Seriously, tell me your advice. Also, just speaking as a man, putting oneself out there and getting reps in does absolutely have an effect. Social skills require practice, just like playing an instrument.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 09:01 PM
4

You seem intelligent and at least somewhat self-aware. I'd wager the best start for you would be talking to counselors/therapists and maybe support groups. Touch base with autistic peers and elders who've managed to date and marry successfully. Learn from them, find what works for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 08:57 PM
9

Very reasonable question. I literally just gave an example of an average guy (by American standards) to someone, so I'll just quote that here: We'll call our average guy "Jim." Now Jim here is really average so it's important to recognize what that means. Jim isn't in the best shape (soft and pudgy, but not terrible). Jim probably doesn't live alone and definitely doesn't own his place. Jim might have a car, or at least have access to one, but it's kinda shitty. Jim does have a job, but that too…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 08:54 PM
7

Bro, you asked me what my worldview and advice were. I gave it. You keep adding variables and then crafting scenarios that I haven't even been talking about. I'm sorry you're struggling, and I earnestly wish you well. Peace.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 08:38 PM
7

I'll give you a sample scenario so you'll have an idea of how to craft one when someone asks in the future. We'll call our average guy "Jim." Now Jim here is really average so it's important to recognize what that means. Jim isn't in the best shape (soft and pudgy, but not terrible). Jim probably doesn't live alone and definitely doesn't own his place. Jim might have a car, or at least have access to one, but it's kinda shitty. Jim does have a job, but that too is shitty. Jim probably has friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 08:35 PM
2

Words matter. Framing matters. Again, saying "I'd date a guy who cares about child support reform and criminal justice reform, full stop" is very different from "I'd date a black guy who cares about race & injustice" or "I'd date an Asian who cares about affirmative action." I've explained this already so many times. Can you maybe just accept that you phrased things poorly in your initial reply and drop this? I'm very clearly not arguing a wrongheaded or bad faith position. I have a point (sever…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 08:21 PM
4

Like I mean a totally average guy who's not too picky i don't think has it that bad out there. You're just restating your supposition, not offering a concrete scenario. Worse than an equivalent woman but don't think it's that bad. This is so nebulous as to border on being a nonsense statement. I think it really gets bad when you get to the below average and unattractive guys. 🙄😒 I don't even know where to start with this. So you recognize that there's a problem, but think it's only affecting a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 08:15 PM
5

No, Cathy Newman, that's not what I'm saying. 😒 Here's the quick version of my Do the Work argument: Self-improvement. Be a better version of yourself, both physically and mentally. It'll benefit you in multiple areas (not only dating) anyway, so just do it. Put yourself out there. So many guys complain about not being given a fair shake, but they're literally just sitting at home rather than socializing. If you do all that and still come up empty, then we'll talk. But most don't wanna do the wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 08:08 PM
6

You'll have to give me a scenario because this doesn't sound accurate the way you're saying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 08:02 PM
1

That's just the black pill, and I don't agree with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 07:55 PM
14

No dispute there. I'm talking on average. The average man has to work far harder than the average woman to achieve his goals in the dating market.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 07:54 PM
2

No. Hence why it's weird that you are claiming that I framed it as purely a race issue. You mentioned a hypothetical black guy for one example and a hypothetical Asian guy for another. Why mention race at all if you just wanted to talk about the issues themselves, especially in the context of Men's Rights? Exactly. Sit out. Now I know you're not saying what it looks like you're saying. Are you telling me to sit out? (Implying that I'm the uninformed one.)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 07:52 PM
2

Can I legitimately call gun violence an Asian issue just because I mention Asian people when I broach the topic? Can I bring up vaping as a Mexican issue just because I'm interested in it and I'm possibly Chicano? Words have meanings, like you yourself said elsewhere. Most/all of us have some intuition on what Men's Rights issues are. Or, for those who are so apolitical and unaware that they don't, maybe sit this dialogue out.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 07:39 PM
6

I get that thinking, but what's the alternative? Tap out? Live as a monk? Also, I kinda exaggerate when I say "half as much." The return will vary, and often improve, with age and experience. Getting good at dating is like getting good at exercise. You don't see insane results overnight, but the consistent effort yields dividends that compound.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 07:26 PM
3

It's hard to say you're "worth a grain of salt" or have a lot to offer if you're explicitly refusing to do the work though. EDIT: Downvotes aren't rebuttals, also read the rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 07:18 PM
2

I'll just pop in quickly to say the obligatory stuff: Correlation is not causation, and stop looking for reasons to tap out instead of doing the work.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 07:09 PM
3

I totally get that. But she framed it as a racial issue, not a gender one. If she'd said "child support" and "criminal justice reform" without all the race and age specifics, she'd have a much stronger opening salvo. Those are legit issues for men, no question.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 07:03 PM
6

"Debate me! Debate me, bro!" <_< At the risk of ad hominem, I'd argue that you're the one who's seemingly less interested in a good faith debate than myself or many other people here. You hold a worldview that assumes a person must do X, Y, Z things that you do just to be a baseline decent person. If I believe in equal rights for women (first and second wave feminism), I'm by definition not a misogynist. You'd argue the definitions are wrong. That's not the basis for a productive debate. There's…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 06:38 PM
4

Great. Your worldview, and your argument, is fucked then. I'm a misogynist simply because I don't cosign all of feminism? Even when I'm an egalitarian who believes in equal rights? That's incomprehensible and indefensible. That's like saying I'm a racist just because I have issues with Ibrahim X Kendi and Robin DiAngelo. Madness. Thanks for at least being honest though. There's really nothing more to say, given all that. Good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 06:21 PM
7

You crafted some nonsense allegory to have a strawman you could kick down. Answer my concise rebuttal to your argument if your worldview is so sound. I'm an egalitarian, which by some definitions means I'm a defacto feminist. I don't claim that label though, for various reasons. Am I a misogynist?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 06:11 PM
28

I tell men all the time that they need to work twice as hard for half as much. Recognizing the fundamental unfairness of that is pragmatic. Being bogged down by it or using it as an excuse to give up isn't helpful though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 06:05 PM
4

That's not an answer. Well done (/s) and good day, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 06:02 PM
3

Pigeonhole? You brought up child support but specifically mentioned a niche scenario of a male rape victim (likely a minor at that). If child support is a legit issue, it's a legit issue. We don't need to couch it in corner cases. The concept of intersectionality exist. ... But it is an issue that effect men. ... It affects men. This all muddies the waters though. If you asked me whether I supported black issues and I started talking about taxes instead of racism, gun violence, and/or criminal j…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 06:01 PM
8

Do you think anyone that doesn't like feminism is a misogynist? Yes. I'd argue that's pretty shitty and shortsighted. "Feminism" has more flavors and connotations in the modern era than "Progressivism." I can be a leftist and dislike (or disassociate from) progressives. As it happens, I am an egalitarian who believes in equal rights for all. I also don't identify as a feminist. Am I a misogynist?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 05:50 PM
0

I feel like somewhere along the line we went from me rebutting your OP to you arguing a sort of quasi black pill to my quasi white pill. 🤷 Anyhow, to each their own. I'm just saying the answers lay more in the realm of self-improvement than immigration. Happy trails, friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 05:39 PM
1

Hey, I'm not saying the current paradigm is good, I'm merely saying it exists. A person can't hope to solve a problem (for oneself, let alone others) until they understand it correctly. It's objectively true that men work harder at self-improvement and dating. I'm merely acknowledging that so I can push the nominal light at the end of the tunnel: The hard work pays off. Becoming an above average man is actually very doable. But make no mistake, above average is the starting line and minimum requ…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 05:31 PM
0

Ok. Some people will disagree. No one who understands the terms in play and argues in good faith, quite frankly. You know racism has no gender. Bringing it up as a "men's issue" is disingenuous. You're dodging, and it's easy to see. The examples I gave is not an all-inclusive list. They are just examples. I'm not going to list like 100 different billion of them so it doesn't look like a narrow point of view. How bout just listing one's that a reasonable person would recognize as gendered? You ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 05:26 PM
0

There are emergent solutions actually, so all hope is not lost. They're just extremely individualistic and often unpopular/uncomfortable to normies. Men need to realize they've gotta work twice as hard for half as much, on average. But that's not no excuse not to Do the Work. And yes, some men may benefit from a change of scenery, though certainly not all. Women, in turn, also need to do some work on themselves to ensure they're really living up to the high standards they so often have for prosp…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 05:18 PM
-2

I think that particular issue isn't gender specific. And you're dodging the primary point. I'm not an MRA myself, but I know they have their own "legit issues" that don't fit into the narrow window you implied with your statement. You basically described a generic normie (leftist). What would you say to dating a legit MRA like what the OP described?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 05:03 PM
3

None of those are men's rights issues. The last one comes the closest, but you've narrowed it to the point of being almost irrelevant to any sort of mainstream, actionable concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 04:58 PM
2

Sure, bro. The whole post reads like something from a teenager though, I'm sorry. A smart teenager maybe, but still a teenager. You've got one big idea but a lot of naivety as to how it would actually be implemented (not to mention how the real world works). The bottomline is twofold: Moving is hard for a reason and the grass isn't always greener. Freedom of movement can help with some issues, but it carries its own risks. Those who sit at home lamenting their lot in life aren't necessarily the …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 04:54 PM
5

I won't CMV per se, but it's generally been my experience that men shouldn't want dating advice from women. They don't know what they're talking about most of the time. A bisexual has a better shot at giving good advice than a straight girl, but I'd still take advice from a straight (or bisexual) guy first.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 04:44 PM
7

"Move to Islam." Gees, dude. How old are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 04:41 PM
1

"Owned." 😂 You write just like him (childishly). And you coincidentally are posting while he's not. There's very little to engage with as far your argument goes anyway, and I already did when you replied under your other account. It's all good though. Have fun supposedly plate spinning and hitting up your "baby momma" whenever you want. I highly doubt that's your actual reality, but it sure sounds like a fun fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 03:46 AM
1

You should look up what that term means. It's not a slur. I'm seriously suggesting you be more careful about using alts to fight your battles and make you supposedly look better. It's pretty transparent what's going on when you reply to me with two separate accounts in the space of a few minutes. Just sayin'
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 03:36 AM
0

Same. Be careful about using too many alts at once. The mods here actually do track that shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 03:33 AM
1

This reply screams sockpuppet, I'm sorry. Why are you so invested in defending OP's nonsensical scenario and bullshit argument?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 03:31 AM
6

Again, this all sounds super normal and healthy. /S You do you, but I think most guys would (and SHOULD) bounce out in the situation you described from your CMV. So the idea that a regular guy would wait 50 days just to pump and dump still makes no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 03:29 AM
9

I'm kinda of two minds on the whole "deliberately make him wait" tactic, but your argument doesn't really hold water, OP. I can be that guy that WILL wait for however long it takes to have sex and then withdraw. You're a weirdo and an outlier then, I'm sorry. What self respecting guy with options does this? The Beta guy is staying for love, so he's in regardless of sexual shit testing. The Alpha is gone by now. You're telling me that you're an alpha who pumps and dumps, but you also have beta pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 03:02 AM
105

Very true. The standards for partners are low. The standards for prospects are high. The two concepts are being conflated and thus people end up talking past each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 11:38 PM
9

Some women are more forthcoming/upfront than others. Some simply aren't able to hide their past, and thus have no choice but to account for these discrepancies. I've seen plenty of both.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 10:56 PM
2

Super Ehhhh on that one, friend. I'll grant you that a guy who does the work has a real shot at finding success in love, but the picture you're painting here seems rather slanted and doesn't graft well onto observable reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 10:45 PM
66

It's just a nonsense, bullshit statement that gets repeated here and in the broader dating grievance sphere from time to time. Studies have shown time and again that women have higher and more complex standards/demands than men. Observable reality alone shows that standards aren't "on the floor." What these women are actually complaining about is a combination of two things: HVM treating them poorly because they can, and them (the women) putting up with it, whilst blaming all men for behavior of…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 10:41 PM
2

I'm anti-marriage and think extravagant rings, especially lavish engagement rings, are ridiculous. (Fun Fact: Diamond engagement rings were made up via an ad campaign by jewelry companies in the 20th century.) But your point is built on a false equivalency, and thus the whole post is kinda nonsense. Women's sex practices and double standards don't equate well to engagement rings. A better comparison might be between the timing/quality of sex from a woman with the timing and quality of commitment…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 10:30 PM
3

Short answer: They don't. (The women don't think of these men.) Long answer: A tragic backstory has no value to the woman if the man's present self isn't inherently attractive. And that backstory in itself certainly isn't what makes the man attractive to her. Women just don't think these terms, at least not generally. Sidenote: I'm sorry, but OP just kinda sounds like a pampered nerd who's fetishizing platonic ideals of Manliness™ and Hardship™ because they're both such foreign concepts to OP's …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 04:08 PM
1

I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Do the Work and Be Reasonable. If you're a female with high standards, as in you want a high value male, then you need to be a high value female. Do the Work to be that HVF. Barring that, Be Reasonable and have standards that you yourself are living up to, not one's far above yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 01:54 AM
1

That's fair, though I think it's also important to be honest about what the underlying problem is when we even start talking about options and standards. Some people need to hear the message "(s)he's out of your league." Otherwise we'll keep seeing 5s and 6s focused predominantly on bagging 8s, 9s & 10s when really none of those high value targets are in their league.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 06:34 PM
0

<_<
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 05:57 PM
1

Did you read my replies? We're going in circles at this point, so clearly at least one of us is talking past the other. Children (and naive adults) often develop wrongheaded notions. More mature people help guide them to the correct thinking through trial and error. More children are born. The cycle repeats. Life goes on, scooby-dooby doo. You seem to be deadset on arguing over a phenomenon that most/all the replies keep telling you isn't new nor even the outsized problem you think it is. Maybe …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 05:55 PM
3

That's basically what I said as well. "Touch grass" applies to more than just the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 05:32 PM
0

You're pushing a pretty narrow, potentially worthless distinction when you try to parse out "influence" vs "learning." Both are examples of people treating fiction as if it's reality, which we all understand is wrongheaded. So what's even the argument here? (Rhetorical question.) Some people, often naive ones, will be "influenced" by everything from rom-coms to porn. Since the majority of adults know better though, we'll be ready to snap those misguided few out of it. This isn't the widespread o…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 05:29 PM
5

I don't watch rom-coms to learn dating strategy, the same I don't treat porn as a guide to having sex. "Touch grass" is applicable here, OP, even though it's more TV and film than strictly internet stuff. Talk to actual people about who to date and how. Read actual advice from competent sources. "The media" isn't necessarily to blame when people treat fiction like it's reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 05:13 PM
7

This reads more like a CMV than a discussion post, just saying. I'll discuss though. This is kinda similar to the confidence debate that was hard here a few days ago. The essential question was "Can behaving with confidence overcome other shortcomings?" You seem to be saying "yes," OP. I'm not saying you're per se wrong, but I think it's more complicated than you make it out to be. Firstly, there's earned confidence and unearned confidence. Being secure in oneself is great. Being proud of one's …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 04:21 PM
1

Yes, regardless of their gender or my own interest in that person. I'll still mostly likely turn them down (GENTLY), but I do appreciate the gesture. What kind of person gets complimented in public and just scoffs or acts offended?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 03:58 PM
2

"Triggered"? Really? 😒 Anyway, you're the one assuming my comments apply (only) to you, and then coming at me for the umpteenth time. I really don't care about you like that, sorry. Other people have pushed the self-serving argument that women should do stuff they don't really want to just in the hopes of maybe getting a man. My comments and full-throated repudiation are directed at that entire notion (and its various defenders). I continue to be right in arguing that it's not a broadly effectiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 03:51 PM
6

The luxuries you speak of aren't evenly distributed though. Moving costs money. Social safety nets still have many problems, and aren't equally available (or good quality) in different areas. Not to mention all the ways modernity has negatively impacted the dating scene. Here's a simple scenario to kinda illustrate how things might have gotten worse for an average or below average guy within our lifetime: John and Jane live in a small town. They're both 5s in terms of SMV. John likes Jane and ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 01:00 AM
2

I'm anti-marriage, but I'll indulge the hypothetical. I pick B. I don't need my wife to play video games with me or love all my favorite films and/or TV. To each their own, but I think the whole "my spouse is my best friend" thing is overrated tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 12:10 AM
21

"Lower your standards" isn't directed at low status men, or at least shouldn't be. "Lower your standards" is advice for women. And I'd qualify that further by saying it's not really as simple as "lower your standards," but more like "have reasonable and realistic standards."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 11:07 PM
2

Makes sense. I bet some of these guys will come around to my perspective when they grow up. XD (half joking)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 09:38 PM
15

Younger guys who are coming on too seriously will often drive women away from them. And some women will turn off men by being too intense early. I get it. But I'm a thirty-something guy. I think a lot of the people here are in their mid-twenties or above. We don't necessarily have to hold our cards as close to the vest as kids in highschool and college have to. And even in college, if you know you don't want to waste time on purely casual stuff, you should be honest and upfront about it. Not an …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 09:10 PM
2

It's not most people, as I just said. Give me data and stats to back up a quantitative statement like that. Or just don't make it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 06:59 PM
2

This started because I asked you a pretty straightforward question about who you meant by "you" (as in who's this hypothetical "better off" person). You refused to elaborate, so I had to call bullshit on your entire premise. If you'd been honest enough to describe the type of people you think are better off, that's one thing. Cuz I know who those people are. But it's not everyone, and it's disingenuous to pretend it is everyone (or even just a majority). It's a minority of people. It's maybe a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 06:32 PM
2

But overall the average person is better off. Non-nuanced statements like that strike me as naive/misguided to the point of callousness, I'm sorry. I'm very much about doing the work to improve one's life and setting reasonable goals in said life. But I'd never say that things are better for the average person. The average accounts for both those with huge advantages and disadvantages via mere accident of birth. Plus not everyone has access to the same opportunities as they grow and move through…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 06:22 PM
39

I agree with so much of this it's crazy. Especially this part: People need to be more intentional and upfront about what they want. You need to be considerate of other’s time and resources. If you want to casually date, state that and don’t entertain people looking for something serious. If you’re looking for something serious, stop being afraid of scaring people off. Have standards. I got into a huge argument with some dudes over my advice that women who want LTRs should date with intention. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 06:12 PM
4

Your chances of finding a love match and being able to get what you actually want out of dating are higher than before. This is your statement. Allow me to illustrate its flaws via a paraphrase: Your chances of finding a good job and being able to get what you actually want out of work are higher than before. Both equally true (in the sense that they're both vapid oversimplifications with kernels of truth in them). But the average person still finds themself unhappy in dating and/or work. Maybe,…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 06:04 PM
1

This I broadly agree with. Though I'd just add that certain people need to work on specific issues more than others, depending on the person (often breaking down along gender lines).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 05:56 PM
2

You're consistently dodging my questions here. Seems like you don't want to say the quiet (and more honest) part out loud.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 05:48 PM
7

Seems like a cop out. Do you seriously think the average person is better off in dating than in previous eras? Explain how. Describe some scenarios.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 05:44 PM
2

Serious question: Who's "you" in this context?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 05:25 PM
1

I don't disagree, but the title does mention "Cons" as well. I'm sure plenty of people (myself included) are chiming in with rebukes and admonitions against marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 05:17 PM
4

I really can't articulate many true pros for marriage in good faith since I'm against it for myself and others. The only thing I can really say in marriage's defense is that it's a good test of a couple's true convictions and compatibility. At the risk of sounding like a reflexive tradcon, I think the argument that people shouldn't have children with partners they wouldn't marry is still solid AF in 2022. Along those same lines, consider two people who claim they both believe in marriage but hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 05:13 PM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 04:56 PM
1

Be advised. She comes here more to fight than actually engage in good faith.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 04:55 PM
1

Most people lack the combination of self-awareness and public honesty necessary to accurately recognize, let alone document, their own flaws. The incels and femcels of the internet are especially unreliable narrators in this way. As for me, my "issues" are pretty obvious if you just check my post history. It's mostly a collection of double-edged sword traits: Wit that can be (and often is) easily weaponized Egalitarianism that calls bullshit on society's double standards and holds people to acco…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 04:53 PM
13

Fifty Shades of Purple
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 04:31 PM
-1

Some men are so undesirable that bottom of the barrel women would touch them. I see a red pill And I want it painted black No colors anymore I want them to turn black Confirms that women only find fit, muscular men attractive. Skinny and fat guys be damned. Wouldn't go quite that far, chief. You're also dodging my point and my question. If self-improvement is an option, why take the black pill? Because it can make you attractive if your face is shit. Reread what I wrote, preferably a million tim…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 06:52 AM
0

Stop objectifying me like I'm just a financial object. I'm more than my wallet. I have thoughts and feelings. [runs off sobbing]
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 06:41 AM
-1

Many men have no league. Again, you don't seem to understand the concept of leagues. What you're saying is equivalent to arguing that some mammals don't breathe air. Everyone has a league. Some leagues are just worse than others. Go to the gym and get lean, muscular and jacked. Lose weight. Right. All basically makes sense and are agreed to be good, doable things. So why the black-pilled bs thinking when this is on the table? Get teeth fixed if need be. I guess, but proceed with caution and only…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 06:35 AM
13

Might sound corny, but people are people. I take them as they come, and I treat them as individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 06:17 AM
5

It will either come off as laughable, arrogant, annoying, disgusting, Perhaps. or harassment Well, that escalated quickly. You sure we're still talking about "confidence" in this instance? Doesn’t matter if the girl is out of you’re league, in your league, or below it. Methinks you don't understand what's meant by "league," sir. Looks get your foot in the door before you can display your personality, and if you don’t have the looks, then you’re pretty much screwed. I mean, there's some truth to …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 06:10 AM
2

There's a good faith, steel-manned way of articulating the case for enhanced moderation of certain topics. I'm sure someone else will try to make that case, but I don't care to. I'll just offer my best good faith counterargument: Let people ask questions, let people talk. If someone says something that's actually toxic or incendiary, kick them then. But just having vast ideological no-go areas is shortsighted and counterproductive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 07:55 PM
15

Stop making sense. Everyone, cancel her!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 07:32 PM
12

Communal discussion practices, including gossip and reputation bolstering/destruction, are exhibited by both genders. Which gender does it more, which gender deserves more of the resultant cultural backlash for it (if any), and the like are all somewhat contentious questions. I personally think it is pretty ridiculous that men receive all the blame and criticism over things like bullying, cultural shaming, sexually explicit group dialogues, and whatnot. Women obviously do more than their fair sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 05:35 PM
3

Strong agree there
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 05:03 PM
10

Assuming everything you said is true, I'm honestly sorry you've been through so much shit. But going to Reddit just to pick fights probably isn't the healthiest way to heal. Be well. Peace and blessings.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:38 AM
–

.r/thatHappened.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:32 AM
5

"reply to my post" "Ugh, wall of text" 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:30 AM
10

I'd argue OP engineered it so. "Pick better men" is primarily meant as advice against dating fuckboys. Reframing it as a sort of "what were you wearing" bit of victim blaming re- predatory crimes is pretty far afield. People are automatically talking past each other by even engaging with this thread at face value rather than calling bullshit on the faulty premise first.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:18 AM
1

You'll just complain I'm being mean/unfair or something... But sure, I'll play along... “Pick better men” is a cop out to not hold men accountable Scenario: HMV signals that he doesn't want anything serious. Girl claims to understand. HMV pumps and dumps. Girl complains. Redditors (both male and female) chide girl that she didn't have to date said HMV, not alone sleep with him. Girl might have an epiphany, or she might just continue to complain. Either way, THIS is what "pick better men" is abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 04:10 AM
9

Nice strawman you got there.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 03:45 AM
1

Yes true close friendships that include sex are the majority of future LTRs imo I mean, I suppose I could give you credit for admitting that this is an opinion rather than a fact. But you're still begging the question (treating it as fact), so I really can't. Data from Stanford researchers shows that online dating has shot up rapidly to become the dominant means of meeting partners. https://news.stanford.edu/2019/08/21/online-dating-popular-way-u-s-couples-meet/ Friendships that include sex coul…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 08:07 PM
7

Very reasonable. Thanks for the answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 06:50 PM
1

Being emotional is not the same thing as being capable of emotion. Some men are so closed off they basically live like stoics 24/7. Others are so emotionally unstable they cry over nothing. A great, healthy man has capabilities, but not overactive traits. (e.g. they're capable of being nice, emotional, violent, etc, but they aren't defined by those traits.)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 06:47 PM
1

Honest question: Do you feel like you were taken advantage of in the drunk situation or just made poor choices? (Some people recontextualize these events differently.)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 06:43 PM
1

Omg! That’s it. You should be a dating coach or something. You’re good! If only... (I could definitely use the money)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 05:05 PM
1

It's not twenty. Not trying to be petty, but I made it a big number to account for outliers. Thirty leaves plenty of room for exceptions that prove the rule. I'm gonna say rn that if I can poke holes in at least half these examples, you arguably haven't disproved my point. But I'll reply in good faith since people already came in daring me and assuming I wouldn't. Salma Hayek I mean, she married an older guy (I disqualified age differences above), but sure. She's aged well, at least as far as I …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 05:00 PM
1

most relationships start with a hookup or fwb and blossom when the people are compatible You're gonna need to define those terms and scenarios, because as written that's just some bullshit. If I had to guess, I'd wager the types of things you're talking about are more like true friendships and mutual attraction that turn into LTRs, which is a very different thing from the FWBs that I, and others, are talking about. Still wouldn't assume the majority of relationships started as friends first thou…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 04:08 PM
1

He's saying "women shouldn't withhold sex," which I can even get behind on some level. But then he's baking in all this additional bullshit about how FWBs are a necessary first step to LTRs, and saying most men won't date you at all if you're dating with intention. Those other things just are not true, nor are they useful IMHO. And advocating that women just go along to get along simply sets women up to get their hearts broken.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 04:02 PM
2

They just don't do even the basic research to understand what any of these things are or mean. One could argue this entire sub is built on a faulty premise because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 03:57 PM
2

It's a satire sub of The Red Pill, not a random comedy sub. It's purposefully mocking and opposing TRP. Mockery isn't an ideology or counterargument though. I know exactly what theBluePill is and I have zero problem with the sub itself. What I have a problem with is people pretending like "TBP" is an elaborate counter-narrative. It's not. It's really just people highly ironically calling themselves "Blue Pill" to joke about TRP. Like, when people this sub unironically call themselves "Blue Pill"…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 03:56 PM
1

That's still a little vague/broad, but my first few thoughts: Firstly, do all these guys you're dating have other things in common? Basically, if you have a type, how closely are you hewing to it? And is it possible that type tends to be emotionally unavailable? I was advising this girl once and she eventually admitted that she pretty much always dates the same type of guy. Insanity is doing the same thing but expecting different results. We can't change who we like as a complete 180, but we can…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 03:50 PM
2

Saying "you don't like r/theBluePill" is like saying "you don't like r/cringe." TheBluePill is a comedy/troll sub, self-defined. Read its intro description. Read its About section. Nothing I'm saying is controversial or conflicts with that sub's own statements. They have no ideology, so there's nothing to disagree with as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 03:39 PM
2

Totally. It varies by person, but here's one that kinda ties to my number 2: When people will tell you who they are, believe them. Listen to what people are saying and why they're saying it. Stop hearing someone say "I'm casual" or "I don't know (what I want)" and then act shocked when they're still commitment-averse months into a situation(ship). Similarly, tying into my 1 and 3, I'd strongly recommend people be honest with themselves and ask the question (to themselves), "What does this other …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 03:30 PM
8

OP clearly wants to knock down a strawman rather than engage with the real argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 02:48 AM
6

Guys who think they are magically become better looking as they age are delusional. Okay? That's so far afield from the actual crux of the "men age better" argument that it's not even a strawman. It's literally just not relevant. Hot guys usually stay hot but hot women usually stay hot too. Name me 20 famous women who've aged better than their partners, let alone better than their male peers. Seriously, go ahead and search for names. I'll wait. Meanwhile, I can literally name you dozens of men w…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 02:45 AM
1

"Wives are like prostitutes" feels like the exact sort of cringe that would be right at home at r/theBluePill (a comedy sub, I'll remind you all, not the philosophy, dating, or lifestyle hub you like to pretend it is).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 12:08 AM
0

15% of people who went into FWB looking for a relationship got one. Presumably there are people who went into the FWB not looking for a relationship who ended up in a relationship anyway, so the conversion rate for FWB -> LTR is at least 15% per that study. So you're using even worse percentages to argue the same point? Bro, c'mon. Saying something happens "at least" a fractionally small amount of the time isn't useful. Airplane disasters happen some small but extant percentage of time. Should w…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 12:02 AM
3

“In 2012, Match’s Singles in America study found that when singles were asked whether they’d ever had a friends-with-benefits relationship turn into a long-term partnership, 44 percent said yes” A citation rather than just a pull quote would be awesome, but I can save you the time with my rebuttal: 44 percent of which gender? My whole point is that women believe this already, but also that they shouldn't. There’s an FWB to LTR pipeline. Observable reality and multiple replies say otherwise. Exce…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 09:57 PM
2

"CMV: I'm fucked up" Uh...that's a tough one to unpack, my guy
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 09:12 PM
14

You lost me at "she," my man. Plus the scenario you're describing is probably not appealing to most women. And frankly, you're pitching a narrative--"the FWB to BF pipeline is real, I promise!"--that's inherently self-serving. I'm trying to give women the hard truth they need to hear. You're basically just gaslighting them so they keep falling for douchebags.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 05:10 PM
11

Congrats on being the outlier? There are oodles of stories to the contrary. Also note that I'm using FWB in the common colloquial sense (a person you fuck, not much else). I have heard of actual friends who got sexual and then got serious, but I'd argue that's a separate thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 05:04 PM
6

I never said it was. I'm just saying it's women who complain about it the most, which is true. An additional factor, albeit a less agreed upon one, is that women also have the most options and avenues to avoid this.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 05:01 PM
1

This.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 04:55 PM
31

Oh my Gods, YES. I don't know why LTR types get involved with people like this, then act shocked when there's no FWB to LTR pipeline.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 04:54 PM
3

Kinda this, honestly. But the problem is people (especially women) don't want to hear the message.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 04:52 PM
13

I've said it before, but I can guarantee that I could vet a woman's dates for her. It's not the easiest thing in the world, but it's easier than you make it out to be. The three big rules are: The vetting starts from looks and profiles (IRL and OLD), not just convo. See people for who they are, not who you want them to be. Stop dating the same type of person and expecting different results. A lot of these would be useful for men to keep in mind when dating women for LTR as well. There's addition…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 04:51 PM
1

I'm saying stuff like that is going to become more of the norm. I don't disagree. My point, and a point that was made by multiple others (including a top comment), is that it's already pretty common. "Sugar" life is just a new term for an old phenomenon.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 09:00 PM
2

"Explicitly" is a strong word, but I can point to plenty of (subtly) transactional norms of dating and relationships that are commonplace. Just the fact that men are expected to pay for dates is inherently transactional if you really think about it. (Some) Women see sex as a tool or bargaining chip. People's dating preferences or types in general often have a transactional subtext. Etc, etc. In terms of explicit stuff? I'd wager the vast majority of relationships that have pronounced age differe…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 08:56 PM
1

I'm being somewhat jokey and semi-facetious. If I take your tale of getting free, full freight, first dates at face value, I have to assume the girls in question felt it was incumbent on them for some reason. And the only guys I ever knew who had that effect on the opposite sex were HMVs of some sort.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 08:47 PM
2

My main assumption is that women love confidence, if there are any women that would like to challenge this idea, then please do so. If you are outliers, feel free to share your experience as well. I haven't even read the comments yet, but I can confidently predict some women are chiming in saying they resent "overconfidence" (read: braggadocious, vainglorious dickheads), which just a giant No Duh. No healthy woman who knows that true confidence is will say she's turned off by it. Define confiden…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 08:42 PM
1

Must be nice. Congrats, King Chad. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 08:28 PM
1

First dates?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 08:25 PM
1

I pay full freight for at least 50% of my first dates. I hue towards less extravagant options early on, then ease into the nicer ones if I really like her and trust her. I also utilize little life hacks to ease the wallet abuse, like memberships that give me free/discounted admission to things. After a while, the girls that are keepers will reveal themselves and pay their fair share, even full freight sometimes. Once we're in a proper relationship, we'll fully split things or just trade off (whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 08:23 PM
2

haven’t paid a dime in other instances I'd love to hear about these
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 08:15 PM
5

This is a platonic ideal, but doesn't actually happen much in practice (at least from what I've seen and experienced). Most people poopoo it or dismiss it out of hand. They'll say things like "I'm old fashioned" or "that's not (gentle)manly." But the reality is, equality means being treated equally and losing certain gendered perks, not just getting only upsides. Ah well...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 08:14 PM
4

Dating - my policy has been that if I ask someone on a date, then I'm going to pay. I've never had a woman not offer to split the bill, but I'm not about that. If they ask me on a date, then they'd pay for the date. I respect the idea behind this, but surely you see how this doesn't always pass the smell test in terms of the gendered differences in courtship.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 08:10 PM
5

Mods, with all love and respect, if you're gonna cp the exact same thing via Auto Mod, maybe proofread your copypasta. "A crowd if IG models"? Really? Two weeks in a row?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 07:49 PM
2

"Become normalized" implies that it isn't already. <.<
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 07:46 PM
8

Totally fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 02:18 PM
1

Wait, is it actually that controversial to say that genotypes exist? Eh. It's not controversial to say certain ethnicities look different or have other unique qualities. It's very much controversial to make value judgments based on those differences. ("X race is ugly," "Y race is less intelligent," etc.) What you're alluding to could be construed as the latter. If that's not your intent, fine. I imagine my take that certain genotypes are more likely to be attracted to one another (even though a …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 02:15 PM
1

I guess I get what you're saying. Still strikes me as a losing strategy, but I get it. Also physical niches refer to build and er…ethnicity-related features Yeah, you're guaranteed to lose a lot of people when you try to argue race/ethnicity is correlated with looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 01:50 PM
4

Basically this. I despise ghosting, but I've learned to not let it bother me. If an asshole ghosts me, or just makes conversation impossible with insanely low effort, I move the fuck on and never look back. I've almost never been blocked, but if it happens I'm definitely not stressing over it. I know I'm a good guy and it's their problem, not mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:25 AM
1

Share any dating advice that you personally think is underrated. (the more original and self-made the advice is, the better) Romantically unsuccessful women should take on a masculine approach to dating/courtship. Learn how to read signals, develop game, hit on guys, and just generally be a pursuer. Even try to pay full freight for dates (if he'll let you). At the very least, women who do this will learn a lot and grow from the experience. Give your takes on others' advice, say whether or not yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 01:28 AM
2

That's fair. I think it's a tough concept to sum up as pithily as my Do the Work maxim. A fundamental reality that a lot of "unlucky" daters need to reckon with is they're not as great as they think they are. They're often unreasonable, both in terms of crazy standards+checklists and wanting things that might simply not exist (or at least be accessible to them). It's one thing to fantasize about Christian Grey, quite another to judge every guy you date against him. I guess a better way to sum it…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 09:51 PM
4

Cuck Tales! Woo-oo! Everyday we're out there making... Cuck Tales! Woo-oo! Tales of Mandingo men; good... Fμck Tales! Woo-oo! So they don’t hear me hiding behind the curtain, lubrication never fails, that's for certain! The worst of messes... Become successes! Cuck Tales! Woo-ooo!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 09:41 PM
5

Obligatory Reminder to Women: The FWB to BF pipeline isn't real. Don't get into any FWB type situation with a guy under the assumption that you'll upgrade to LTR after "putting the time in" or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 09:34 PM
3

Tell me you don't understand anatomy without telling me you don't...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 09:30 PM
4

"Small penises are immoral"? That's a new one.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 09:30 PM
1

The only thing to do is work on yourself You said it yourself. If you think you deserve better, earn it and prove it. But if you're resting on your laurels as a 6, don't act shocked when you can't get 8s, 9s, or 10s.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 09:28 PM
1

1) How soon into a relationship is it possible to feel love for your partner? Sooner than you might say it aloud, meaning sooner than the "I love you - I love you too" exchange. But "love" is also super subjective, and sometimes we fall in love with an idea of someone rather than their real self. The earliest I'd say someone can realistically know their partner and love them is probably 6 weeks in, but many will need at least 2 months. 2) How long into dating before you should say “I love you” f…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 09:24 PM
3

Most of my friends who have had pregnancy scares seem to be a bit laissez-faire with their birth control use. I've always had an alarm on my phone to remind me when to take it in case I forget. I once had a friend comment, "Oh that's so smart, I forget a lot!" Like...does that not terrify you or do you not understand it has to be consistent to work?...🥲 Exactly. Mistakes aren't horrible things nor undeserving of sympathy, but I hate that we culturally pretend like everyone is equally susceptible…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 04:14 PM
29

I love this. The spirit of fairness and common sense shines through. I think that's more important than anything (and usually results in good solutions).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 04:07 PM
3

I basically agree with all of this, as I imagine most (honest and reasonable) people will. Thanks for sharing. Also... there's no way in hell we'd "accidentally" have a child, despite what all my Gen-X coworkers seem to imply. Shout out to this and shout out to you. The reality is, responsible adults who use birth control (correctly) don't have unplanned pregnancies. We can find some outlier case (often one where the birth control was misused in some way), but that doesn't make it anything but a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 03:59 PM
2

I mean, that's not an insane suggestion, but I also can see why they wouldn't like it. Could be seen as sexual shit testing, or just argued to be less helpful/relevant than other vetting methods. That's before even factoring in exactly how you may have said it. All that said, I do see that RPW is pretty zealous in their approach to curating their community. I'm not a fan of heavyhanded moderation or speech/thought policing myself, but clearly they prefer that to letting people brawl in the comme…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 03:04 PM
2

This is the best answer. The idea that females physically mature faster is easy to grok. I can even see it making sense socially and biologically. But that has zero bearing on whether they're actually smarter or more mentally adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 03:02 AM
1

I will say, as a guy, I also do think thirties is the sweet spot for males. I don't know how many women actually grok this, let alone date with it in mind though.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 02:55 AM
2

I broadly agree on the first part, but I think the second is a kinda gross oversimplification (giving off theorycraft vibes).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 02:53 AM
1

People see what they want to see. If a person desperately wants a pairing to work in spite of its flaws, they'll simply downplay or straight up ignore those flaws.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 02:47 AM
3

"Baby mama" doesn't have an age. I'll try assuming you had a point here somewhere and make an attempt at steel-maning. Teen moms aren't the same thing as working single moms, which is true. Is that closer to the distinction you were trying to make?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 02:45 AM
3

I can get behind this in theory, especially as a sort of best practice (ethically speaking). But I just don't care about this so much, and I can help thinking that guys who do are insecure for whatever reason. (I can't say "no offense" in earnest, but I'd like to.)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 02:40 AM
1

I'm sometimes intrigued by it, sometimes turned off by it, and mostly just kinda confused by it, similar to here (though this sub is generally better for many reasons). The Benoit Blanc meme from Knives Out comes to mind: It makes no damn sense...! ...compels me tho
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 02:36 AM
2

I'm willing to believe this, but I have to ask: What sort of "decent [advice]" exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 02:31 AM
2

Not to be crass, but how's the sex? RP women seem to be lower in neuroticism and higher in egalitarianism on average, but I'm skeptical of the subtle tradcon undertones of the philosophy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 02:29 AM
2

I think the perception of it being easy is something OF the platform deliberately wants everyone to believe, especially prospective creators (mostly female). As much as the top creators may dominate, having a steady stream of new talent is still important. It's not unlike similar industries (porn, stripping, etc), I'd imagine. Didn't a high profile creator say she's retiring soon? OF wants the other girls ready to fill the vacuums left in such wakes. So certainly, OP, I don't doubt it isn't near…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 07:12 AM
2

I'm a straight guy who's also not into pegging. I'm evolved enough not to immediately make sweeping statements about what is or isn't gay. All that said, it's hard for me not to question the straightness of certain...mindsets. That's not a value judgment, just a pragmatic bit of skepticism. A guy tells me he likes be penetrated sexually, my response is "okay, you do you." That same guy says he's straight as an arrow? I'm reacting like the surprised white guy gif, regardless of what gender he's l…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 06:58 AM
4

Remember, Blue Pill is a nonsensical self-ID to begin with. That's not me trying to be mean or say TRP is right. I'm just recognizing that identifying as the slur which your enemy chose for you is stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 06:41 AM
0

Anecdotes aren't evidence, no offense. I get that some people wanna imagine things are different, or think that their own, unique experiences represent reality. (They don't, at least not necessarily.) Those are my exact words. Not exactly me invalidating your experience, more like putting it in more nuanced context. I didn't make any claim and have nothing to prove. What would you call you this? My friends and I all brag about how great our male partners are. But I hang out with a lot of career …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 07:53 PM
1

I'm not surprised that women don't have positive feelings about their male exes considering the reasons women typically end marriages - weaponized incompetence, abuse, and infidelity. Of course they don't have positive feelings about the men they left. Those men are exes for a reason. Men on the other hand lose their bang maids and domestic secretaries. Of course they miss that. That doesn't prove the point you think it does. Definitely no bias in that. No way. None whatsoever. The other 3 artic…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 07:35 PM
3

It's like I always say (broken record time): Do the Work and Be Reasonable. You want a better quality of partner than you're currently getting? Do the Work to get higher SMV. You have options but think you're better than them? Have some humility and humanity, Be Reasonable. Take chances on dates you might normally rule out, ideally ones that seem nice but are a little more "average."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 07:27 PM
1

Shit take mushroom
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 07:23 PM
3

Yeah, stop doing that. If a person's behaving poorly to another person, don't assume they're just having a bad day. Some people have hardcore protagonist/royalty syndrome.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 07:07 PM
1

Anecdotes aren't evidence, no offense. I get that some people wanna imagine things are different, or think that their own, unique experiences represent reality. (They don't, at least not necessarily.) Here's some hard data: Men feel more positively about their ex-partners than women do. And here's some articles from WOMEN: Women don't appreciate men in their lives Why Don't Women Appreciate Good Men? How To Appreciate A Man: Seek To Understand Him FIRST
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 07:04 PM
3

It's a mix. Some women are inordinately hostile for sure. You wouldn't know this because you'd never have, or take notice of, those sorts of interactions. Conversely, some guys are awkward or just picking their spots wrong (wrong girl, wrong time, and/or wrong place).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 06:42 PM
1

There ya go. Makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 06:38 PM
1

I don't doubt it. Do you live outside the US? I'm speaking primarily from that vantage point, but I'm sure it exists to varying degrees in many progressive, Western nations.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 06:31 PM
-1

Women do say they're lucky when they have a great partner though and they express similar sentiments about each other's partners as well. This does happen, sure, but it's not the norm or the primary sentimental that's expressed in culture. Every man talks about, or is expected to talk about, how lucky they are to have their gf or wife. Only some women ever return the favor publicly, and there's largely no social pressure to do so regardless. EDIT: Dear Downvoters, your pettiness is showing, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 06:28 PM
1

Gotta say, there's some truth to all this. I'm generally kinda neutral to negative on peacocking because it's inherently performative and difficult to maintain (at least for some), but I do recognize the value.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 04:21 PM
1

Unrepresentative numbers to be sure. Most college age girls are sub 10 on n count (or maybe just above 10 in grad school). Still, it'd be both insightful and hilarious to show a more tame, representative example of this on the female side (5 to 10 partners) vs the average on the male side (less than 4).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 12:29 PM
1

I can totally imagine n counts above 20 aren't representative of undergrad (or even grad school) aged girls writ large, but you're tripping if you think the norm is below 5.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 12:24 PM
2

If someone only watches a few of his shorts/TikToks and never actually looks into him, I guess I kinda get it. One can certainly miss the obvious exaggeration/satire in his schtick if they aren't paying attention or deliberately ignoring it. But just Google him, do some basic research, watch his long form content (especially interviews on other people's shows). He drops the act sometimes, admits he's fucking around sometimes, et cetera. I'd imagine the less deep thinking or less well-versed TRP …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 12:30 AM
2

Anyone who unironically brings up Andrew Tate on here as a resource/commentator loses me immediately. He's playing a character. He does not even identify with, or directly reference, pills or the manosphere (as far as I recall).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 12:08 AM
7

I guarantee you the vast majority of people (male or female) saying that they "have a lot to offer" aren't quite telling the truth. Often they're exaggerating (or straight up lying about) their "strengths," or touting stuff that doesn't actually matter that much in dating. Meanwhile they're overly online, high in neuroticism (especially AVPD and depression), have poor social skills, and aren't doing nearly enough to actually fix their own lives. It's easier to complain on the internet than actua…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 03:12 AM
2

Tbf, you're kinda exaggerating/misremembering that guy's post...BUT he definitely had some blindspots. Mainly he seemed super insecure and maybe too fixated on ultimately minor quirks (not even flaws) about himself. Like, bald is beautiful. I'm bald. I pull fine, mostly because I'm confident and low in neuroticism.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 03:06 AM
5

This is probably the smartest thing you've ever said.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 01:41 AM
7

The vasectomy is a huge plus. It totally depends. I'm CF myself and I respect the hell out of anyone who's willing to commit to that degree. But I also recognize CF is unpopular in the mainstream.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 12:14 AM
8

The sad reality is that many people get stuck with the wrong partners/spouses and then refuse to leave due to the fallacy of sunk costs (and other bad reasons). I personally believe the signs of a bad relationship are most often visible both to the participants and observant outsiders. Each person may be more or less open to acknowledging the problem(s), but it's rare that they actually can't tell that anything's wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 06:44 PM
0

bald head with a horseshoe Why the horseshoe? You said you shave, so I was envisioning Michael Jordan or Moby, not Larry David. Just shave it all off. As for dating younger, I'm honestly up for whatever but my last relationship was weird. She was 4 years younger than me, but many of her friends were an additional 4+ years younger than her still, so it was this compounded mixing of age groups and I didn't have much in common with people that young. Sounds like she was just immature tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 06:38 PM
1

men and women not realizing their good traits don't make up for a sheer lack of social skills/socializing. I'd rephrase this a little. This isn't "good traits don't make up for shortcomings." It's really that people with limited self-awareness shouldn't be overvaluing quaint things they like about themselves. As far as dating goes, the things that actually have value in the sexual marketplace are clear. If someone is missing some/all of those things, or they don't put enough effort into them, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 06:30 PM
7

Cons: Fully bald and shave my head. I remember before being bald and hearing in high school "oh this and that girl have a crush on you". After baldness you're knocked down a few points undeniably, you don't hear that shit anymore. I have plans to do something about this, though. (SMP, scalp micro-pigmentation) Fuck no. Stop thinking like this. I'm male pattern myself (plus some scalp skin conditions and other stuff). I just own it. Women who actually can't love a clean, beautiful bald head are n…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 06:21 PM
12

I absolutely believe you'd make someone very happy, based on all this. I just wanted to point out, as a pragmatist and a guy, a few misconceptions you seem to be under. easy to be alone with, Not certain what this means, though I could hazard a guess. Gonna presume it's neutral for now, definitely not as big a plus as you think. never get mad, You're already getting cooked for this a little, so you have my sympathies. I'll just say most women want men who can thread the needle perfectly vis-a-vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 06:12 PM
1

My main point is that having some positive traits isn't enough if you have a lack of social skills and/or you don't actually put yourself out enough. I mean, I sort of agree in principle. Some of the examples you gave in the OP if positive traits were kinda nonsense (women don't date guys cuz they're good at math or could win a pup quiz), but it's absolutely true that social skills and socialization are key. A guy who's not putting effort into those things isn't really doing that work IMHO
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 05:52 PM
1

You're OP is confusing, especially as an CMV. Are you making an affirmative argument that social skills and socialization are more important than they should be? Or are you just saying guys who think they "have a lot to offer" are misguided for undervaluing those two things?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 05:40 PM
4

Is it reasonable for a man with an average physique to want a thin/non-fat female partner? Sure, in theory. I'm a guy with a pretty average physique, maybe slightly above average. I've been going to the gym for a few months, watch what I eat, all that stuff. Okay. But it'll probably be at least a year before I actually see any kind of visible results. Yes and no. If you're aiming primarily to lose weight, you'll start doing that immediately (albeit in subtle ways and amounts). You'll keep seeing…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 05:25 PM
4

Would men and women be better off separated into neighboring monogender societies? 🤦‍♀️ Let's say that human civilization was split such that any given jurisdiction would be populated either entirely by men or entirely by women. Let's say this wasn't against virtually all the major housing and/or immigration laws known to man. Assuming things were arranged such that reproductive replacement rates weren't an issue for either side (so humanity wouldn't die out) How exactly? both sides had an appro…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 03:28 AM
2

I won't necessarily say "most." I haven't parsed all the data. But just looking at observable reality, there's a lot of guys dating younger (and women dating younger tbf) who don't seem focused on marriage and/or children. Is Brad Pitt or Bill Hader dating whoever he's dating this month just because he wants a new wife and more kids? Doubt it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 02:57 AM
1

I occasionally use large(ish) words or complex sentences, but that one was pretty simple. Not sure what you're having trouble with.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 02:29 AM
2

I get that you disagree with his opinion, but do you actually have any evidence for that disagreement? Or just feelings and anecdotes? I've actually found a lot of contradictory advice and data in this area myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 02:16 AM
4

Okay? Seems like your assumptions in this area don't map well onto the observable reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 02:09 AM
4

Imagine believing men and women don't have different interests. <_<
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 01:50 AM
6

Would you rather have common interests with your partner of similar age or a younger women? Poorly worded question. I think what you meant to say is... Would you rather date a woman of similar age and similar interests or just a younger women? Which still sucks cuz it's a false binary. Plenty of women my age don't share my interests, outlook, or even life experience. Plenty of women younger than me are more my speed. Why? Because they are, on average, probably more fun, more open-minded, and les…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 01:45 AM
0

I'm not saying you're wrong per se, but that's a lot of rules, not all of them intuitive. I see the kernels of good stuff in there too, I'll grant. But I'd hope you can see how that might make a guy not want to approach at all if he's gotta thread the needle so perfectly just to get a fair shake.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 11:48 PM
5

All I'll say is this: Barring some extreme cases or extenuating circumstances, consenting adults in an an age disparate relationship should not be stigmatized. It's kind of ridiculous that people think they can lecture a young person or an older person on who they should date/marry, assuming there's nothing untoward going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 11:42 PM
1

Very few people would, or should, opt into something this. The few who might will be rightly turned off by the excessive and invasive questions, plus the immature way everything is presented (including lack of capitalization and textspeak).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 02:11 AM
3

Ha. I've never heard/seen that analogy before, but I love it. And you're right. Men don't really just want mediocre pizza. They want a quality pizza place that's worth the price. Sadly people often overrate their own pizza and overcharge for it too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:47 AM
9

This applies to the girls as well, but other than that I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:44 AM
5

We've both crossed paths enough on this sub that you should be familiar with my thesis on this. If not, I guess check my profile for my most recent CMV thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:28 AM
7

It's pretty self-explanatory. Do you think the average man doesn't have to work very hard to succeed in the dating market? (This isn't an argument against hard work btw, just a statement of fact.)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:25 AM
1

You should reread what I wrote and who I was replying to.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:23 AM
4

In my personal experience I know [a lot] of dudes with no job, no money, and no ambition who pull way more [than] I do. Translation: An observable phenomenon doesn't exist because it implies I'm messing up and that hurts my ego.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:08 PM
1

<_<
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 10:59 PM
9

I agree with your basic premise, but I'd tweak your presentation. Jealousy drives much of the resentment displayed here Yup. From men's perspective, the knowledge that a minority of men are having tons of casual sex makes the average man angry about being shut out from the orgiastic proceedings. That's the strawman/oversimplification actually. Here's a better formulation: Men resent having to do twice the work for half the results. Which is the objective reality for many of them (though not all)…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 10:55 PM
4

This is a huge one on both sides, and it oddly tends to increase the less attractive (physically/mentally) the person is.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 10:34 PM
14

Very perceptive. I agree wholeheartedly.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 10:30 PM
2

You didn't acknowledge that clubbing every night would make the partner uncomfortable. Just mentioned something about "time management" and how I was making your argument indefensible by pointing out how it doesn't map onto real life behavior. If you just met someone and they told you that "clubbing every night" was an essential part of their lifestyle, that wouldn't give you pause? C'mon. Enough trying to pretend that all behaviors are equal or equally innocuous. Having a hobby is probably no b…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 07:33 PM
2

I was reading a few threads on here, and kept seeing a common refrain. “Women who are _______ are promiscuous.” This is what you wrote, and essentially ALL you wrote (in terms of a scenario) initially. Thus the (deserved) pushback you got. ETA: just to reign everyone in here, this is specifically a question about the correlation between womens INTERESTS and their “promiscuity”. Not a statement doubting the existence of promiscuous people. As an example, in a recent thread many comments stated “w…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 07:18 PM
3

I mean, this sounds like apologia tbh. Also, unless you're an insanely evolved being or supremely naive, you probably don't really believe all that or apply it to your own life. If your partner, male or female, was out of the house literally--the word "literally" is important here--every night and all you knew for sure is they were clubbing...you'd be cool with that? C'mon. Women hate when men spend inordinate amounts of time outside the home for non-work functions. Men may or may not feel rough…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 07:12 PM
5

“women who are into anime are promiscuous”. Okay. So in that instance, we agree that the person saying this is wrong. That's fucking obvious and doesn't require a thread. May I offer a counter example? "Women who are clubbing literally every night are promiscuous." I'm not even Mr Social Conservative or anti-promiscuity. But you see now how arguing we can't make assumptions based on certain context clues might be overcorrecting for the problem you noticed?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 05:03 PM
10

Unless you actually have the balls to put specific phrases or examples into your post/argument, you're basically just arguing against a strawman. "Don't judge a book by its cover" is fine in general, and I agree that stereotyping isn't ideal. But sometimes a book's cover is "My Struggle" in German or a living stereotype is walking down the street. Am I supposed to ignore reality and pretend I don't know what either of these things are likely to be like?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 02:36 PM
2

She is really unfortunate in the face. <_< What does this even mean? I see statements like this from time to time and I always kinda eye roll. For context, I've met a lot of women who were described like this or described themselves like this. I've also visited communities like r/amiugly. A majority of the time, they're just average looking. 5s and 6s that could be solid with a little effort and self-confidence. As I have mention she won't have problem attracting men of her league and also above…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 02:31 PM
1

I have a baseline of understanding of, and towards, women vis-a-vis a lot of issues. I struggle to have much sympathy for those who lack empathy though. And I really don't care much at all about people (more or female) who'd rather complain about a problem than take necessary (if at times inconvenient) steps to solve it. Examples in practice: The female equivalent of a kissless virgin and/or social r-word. If she's honest, self-aware, and making an effort to fix her life, I'm sympathetic AF and …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 02:18 PM
6

This sounds more like a felcem hypothetical than a real person.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 02:11 PM
4

Fun Fact: Based on internal polling, the gender ratios for that sub are even worse than the app it's based on (and arguably worse than Reddit as a whole). That and the general dysfunction in the comments is enough to make me steer clear of that place.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 12:55 AM
-1

You pretty much seem to have no rebuttals on any of my substantive answers to the problems you posed though. How else can I fairly sum up your argument? Would you prefer I describe it as "I have recognized real problems but don't like the available solutions"? That's damn close, I'd wager.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 11:37 PM
1

I agree with some of your prescriptions, but your title and much of your thinking is wrong. The bar for men is low. No, the bar is...where the bar is. I'd say, as guy, it's pretty high, but I'd settle for saying it's slightly above average. But women who say it's low are misguided at best and willfully ignorant at worst. And the existence of ugly or miss-matched couples does not prove that any guy can get a date. No, it proves those guys can get a date, probably through a combination of luck and…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 11:31 PM
-5

"Risk factor"? Dafuq? It's a lifestyle choice, not a disease. And yes, it is a choice. You want something, get after it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 11:12 PM
1

I think I'm in love
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 11:09 PM
-2

All what you're saying boils down to is "the situation I see is unfair, so I refuse to try." That's not a solution to the problem, nor a compelling rebuttal to my OP. A late developer, a later bloomer, someone who has only recently worked out so that they've changed their physical appearance, but their savvy is behind where someone might imagine it to be based on how they look now. If you're seriously gonna argue First Mover Advantage, which is what this sounds like, spare me. You're not just in…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 11:02 PM
1

So...admitted theorycraft. Appreciate the honesty, but this is the part where I say "touch grass". I'm speaking from experience on all this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 10:31 PM
1

You're doing a decent job at addressing part of my argument, but conveniently ignoring another part. Are you doing the work to get to 1 million dollars? We both know it's a lofty goal. I could even say it's unrealistic for most people, but that's not technically my argument. My argument is...do the work to get the results you want. As a baseline, don't complain if you're doing nothing. As a midpoint, don't complain if you're doing something and your goal isn't logical. At the upper echelon, agai…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 10:29 PM
1

Suddenly r/MadMen
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 10:23 PM
1

Then we have people who worked out, took care of themselves and got into relationship worked out, took care of themselves and still get no interest from women Pretty vague scenarios there though. What other work or self improvement was done? What areas were either of these guys lacking in? Did they actually get support and honest advice from others, or just wing it with their own best judgment? Also, quite honestly, no one is owed interest from their preferred partner. They have to earn it, even…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 10:22 PM
-1

A dude can work out, sharpen up his wardrobe but if he too is late to the party, his lack of experience and confidence is going to make him crash and burn fast. What's "too late to the party"? Isn't that a fallacy? Or at least, doesn't that run counter to some common notions like men get better with age? What if she can't stand the thought of being dated by a guy she's almost certain might be trying to hook up with other women while he's hooking up with her? Sounds like a personal problem, and a…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 10:16 PM
1

Yes, any person can, with enough work, date someone somewhere. However what if they don’t like that option? Is that success or failure? Make yourself good enough to get better options. It gets harder as you go, but it never becomes truly impossible if you want it enough and are reasonable. You said any woman can date her looksmatch. What if she’s not attracted to her looksmatch? Sounds like a personal problem. XD But really, you must realize what you're arguing here. A person is entitled to some…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 08:11 PM
1

"his"?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 07:06 PM
2

2 things are better than 1, what a concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 06:06 PM
1

IDK. I like actually trying rather than giving up? But I guess that makes me the weirdo. 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 06:28 AM
1

I don't know how women can even have those [kinds] of expectations anymore. As I stop myself from laughing, (at the farce of the situation, not at you,) I'll just say this: Their expectations have never been especially tethered to reality. But in fairness to them, women mostly just expect what society tells them to. The gendered difference is that society tells men to earn it, whereas society mainly only tells women they deserve it (by default).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 06:26 AM
1

You mean you agree with my supposition
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 06:10 AM
3

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2018/02/12/in-experiments-researchers-figured-out-what-men-and-women-really-want-in-a-mate/ https://psychnsex.com/women-looks/ https://www.livescience.com/58607-mens-looks-may-matter-more-than-personality.html
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 05:28 AM
1

Above average gets you in the game. Committing to a black-pilled narrative of no hope doesn't really seem productive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 05:23 AM
5

I mean, yes, obviously. Whether we mean "above average" in the purely definitional sense or the truly aspirational/idealized sense, it's absolutely possible. What people, specifically men, resent is the fact that above average is the starting line. I'm happy to be a success story and role model, it's good for me and even potentially uplifting for others. But I just wish I didn't have to earn the right not to suffer (I'm speaking in a macro sense there, not just in terms of dating). But yeah, as …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 05:20 AM
9

There's more to it than that (or at least there's supposed to be), but you're not wrong in practice. Plenty of people just fly hundreds or thousands of miles to do largely the same stuff they could/would at home. People are dumb...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 05:13 AM
2

If nothing else, I appreciate the honesty
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 04:18 AM
3

Celebrity infidelity=AWALT, I guess 😒
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 04:15 AM
4

Sure, but again, average. Some are broke, some live at home, some can afford a starter condo. But on average they don't live alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 04:14 AM
3

Factually incorrect for America. Obesity and overweight (together) is about 70% of women. Obesity only is about 33%. That's not "morbidly obese" though. Per Premier Surgical: Obesity, having too much body fat, is defined as having a body mass index (BMI) of greater than 30. BMI is a measure of your weight relative to your height. Morbid obesity, which is also termed “clinically severe obesity,” is typically defined as being more than 100 pounds overweight or having a BMI of 40 or higher. I'm gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 03:50 AM
6

Their goal is to not waste time with men they definitely could never marry/stay with for life. Might be a stated and preferred goal, but it's definitely not their behavior pattern (at least not most of them). That's part of why FDS was so popular: stop wasting time with men that aren't long-haul dating. Big ooph that you're even bringing them up in neutral, let alone positive terms. Assuming good faith, I get what you're trying to say, but that whole community is toxic and they have terrible adv…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 03:06 AM
9

Renting an apartment on 30k (I looked it up too), isn't the hard part necessarily. It's renting an apartment without roommates. That's why I said the average man doesn't live alone. Some are with friends, some are with family. But very few have the whole house/apartment/etc to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 02:29 AM
13

But in Western culture, the average adult male should have a job that allows him to rent a one bedroom apartment. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this. Let me just ask you, do you live in the West yourself? Because I think you have a very ill-informed understanding of the housing and economic situation here (especially these days). I'll also just stipulate that "should" is the operative word here. Your idea what should be the case is preferable to the reality, but it is also very much di…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 02:21 AM
8

This is because women tend to lower the bar to keep the man they like over the bar. Some men will manage to go even lower. If the woman puts the bar on the floor then he breaks out a shovel. I think this is an overstated phenomenon. That is, it exists, but it's talked about far more than it actually happens. Some women have low standards, some men are low achievers. They'd seemingly be a good match. But how many low achievers even date to any level of success? How many truly low/no standard wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 02:12 AM
43

May I let you in on the dirty secret? (More open secret really.) Women's idea of "basic standards" and "average man" are way out of whack, at least when compared to the actual average that exists. Ask any woman to tell you what her basic expectations are and it'll be a damn laundry list. Ask a man, it's probably just a few things. As I say that, let me try to nudge the pitchforks downward by acknowledging this: Women aren't inherently wrong for wanting what actually amounts to an above average m…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 01:08 AM
10

Very well put. I'd add that ample studies show modern women are far more looks-conscious than the old stereotypes OP seems to be working from.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 12:58 AM
7

Now I feel dumb for writing an overlong rebuttal. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 12:45 AM
1

Whatever you say. Kinda telling that you're going out of your way to @ me again just to say "nah-uh," but you do you. ✌️
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 09:34 PM
2

Why this misconception that less attractive men will treat women better? What does "less attractive" mean? Sounds kinda nebulous. When it comes to personality, unattractive can mean emotional immaturity, lack of confidence in hard times, laziness, poor at communication, not good at giving affection, etc. Sure. And a woman who's a 4 or lower in attractiveness can often have a lot of these same qualities. "Unattractive" is a synonym for "ugly." That's not necessarily the same as "less attractive."…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 08:09 PM
3

This is one of the few truly solid replies I'm seeing in this thread. I pretty much agree, and I'll add that OP is very much crafting a strawman of two bad options. Either the bitter incel or the Chad. Um, how about just the average, reasonably well-adjusted guy? He's not either of the two extremes, and by definition (by being average), he's probably just as plentiful in the dating market if not more so.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 07:59 PM
4

It's basically my contention that the solutions to people's dating woes aren't actually adversarial or zero sum. People just need to be honest and fair-minded.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 07:51 PM
1

I only coach women, champ. XD jk I'm literally just trying my best through reason, trial, and error. I learn from everybody's mistakes, not just my own (or at least try to). My best advice is put yourself out there and get the reps in. You're probably young, so you've got plenty of time to make mistakes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 06:48 PM
3

Read my top level comment again. Actually look inward and see how you weren't recognizing one or more essential truths Iaid out. I can't prescribe a step-by-step plan for you specifically because I don't know your exact situation. This back-and-forth, and your overall behavior, give me some insights though: You probably aren't very introspective, like I said already You hate any kind of criticism or calls for personal responsibility/accountability You don't have the best personality, just based …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 06:34 PM
4

I'm trying, friend. I'm trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 06:21 PM
4

Which compromises should I make? Looks are the easiest I’ve been doing that since grade school crushes. I mean, just statistically speaking, this seems unlikely. I'm sure you think this is the case, but you've already kinda shown yourself to be rather an unreliable narrator for your own life. My dream man is just a wholesome loving man. If that’s what you’re saying I should compromise on I truly don’t get the point unless you think women should just be free sex slaves for men without being motiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 06:20 PM
2

You can't say you're vetting dates and doing other things I've outlined if you then follow up with "I don't date." That's like saying you've got a clean driving record but no car. I don't doubt your sincerity, mind you. I'd just guess you're unwilling to do the level of introspection and compromise that's required. It's not unlike a person who'd rather sit at home than work anything short of their dream job (a job they ultimately aren't fully qualified for, in all likelihood).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 06:06 PM
1

I mean, this is kind of a no brainer. I'm not even TRP and I can probably articulate most of the tenets better than the popular TRP YouTubers, Streamers, et cetera. Doesn't help that many are trying to smuggle in bullshit that doesn't belong. I'm super Ehhhh on cultural signalling since it often leads to pandering, but a certain amount of it makes sense. It's public relations 101. Find your target audience, get your message across to the most receptive people first. But don't turn off the skepti…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 06:02 PM
2

[Doesn't] happen with strangers but actual friends +benefits Say it again for the ladies in the back. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 05:49 PM
3

Outliers exist. Plus it sounds like you weren't under any illusions, so I don't see an obvious problem. What's frustrating is when people lie to themselves about the reality of their situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 05:44 PM
7

Sounds like a winning strategy? /S You do you, but it reads like the subtext of what you're saying is "I'd rather be alone than do the work." Totally fine to live that way btw. But that's not exactly a meaningful critique of what I wrote.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 05:30 PM
7

Congrats? A self-serving anecdote, from a guy no less, doesn't make the FWB to BF pipeline real. Women who believe in it are broadly wrong, and any dating strategy which is counting on this scenario is inherently misguided.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 05:12 PM
7

I kinda laid it out all for you, so I'm not sure what else to say. I could confidently spend a month vetting your dates for you to prove my point. I'd be willing to bet money there's things you can do differently and perceptible signs you're overlooking.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 05:09 PM
13

I used to be "that guy" and you're 100% correct. It's like other men instinctively understand what's going on and some [women] are willfully ignorant. I tell women this and they think I'm crazy...or sexist. 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 03:36 PM
1

Why are pick me girls criticized? I have read many posts in blue pill and red pill forums I'll take this moment to remind everyone that r/theBluePill is literally just a meme/troll hub. Anyone who unironically calls themselves a blue pill is cringe at best. I refuse to respect someone who identifies as the slur of them given by their chosen opponent. It's like an atheist willingly and unironically calling themselves a heathen or immoral. Just had to start there. (I don't identify with any one pi…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 03:34 PM
2

I lol'd. (It's funny cuz it's true!™ )
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 03:15 PM
3

Hey, it's whatever. I'm not mad at ya, and you are whatever you choose to be. (Committing to a good or bad ideology/worldview is always a choice.) But you have to realize on some level that what you wrote just amounts to a female version of Alpha Fux, Beta Bux or "Nice Girls Finish Last." C'mon.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 03:00 PM
4

This feels like a felcem back rationalization, I'm sorry.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:44 PM
2

According to dating apps and other metrics? Sure. In my own anecdotal experience? Not particularly. But two things can be true at once. A phenomenon can exist, and it can also be overblown. Sort of like the whole heightism thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:43 PM
7

Tbh I agree. The title and the underlying premise very much feel like a Q4M. It's worded like a Q4W in the body text, but I honestly don't believe most women think in this way about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:41 PM
4

Agreed. It's gamesmanship at best, pathology at worst.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:38 PM
7

Hard disagree. Trying to oversimplify it into something shallow like that is extremely counterproductive.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:31 PM
62

I actually think a lot of the initial replies are roughly right on this one, which is rare for this sub. Men do make choices in this area pretty early on, or at least start to have leanings early on. Not all, I'll qualify, but some significant portion. This is the whole "you can't change their mind" or "you can't influence their behavior" problem that women often experience and bemoan. The biggest mistake women make though, is picking unreliable guys in the first place. On some level they're cho…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:27 PM
11

I...actually agree with this. The prescription mainly, if not all the suppositions it's based on. Women think there's an FWB to BF pipeline, and there isn't. An FWB is an FWB, period. A man who wants to be your BF will take that role pretty much immediately if he really wants it. Women also nag men to say "I love you" or make grand gestures ("you never do x," "when are you gonna propose?"). The reality is...if you're feeling the need ask for these in the first place, there's already a big proble…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 01:50 PM
8

This reads like a giant black-pilled over-thought with dystopian overtones. Also a lot of it just reads like quasi-gibberish. Touch grass, my son.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 05:39 AM
3

You can't see this comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:45 AM
1

I'll link what I'm talking about, but I can't imagine you couldn't find it yourself. The comment should've generated a notification for you. Plus it's easily searchable via "Sort by Best" and was one of the first comments on your whole post. https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/w6jfsm/would_a_guy_really_be_too_nervous_to_make_a_move/ihe7hje?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:35 AM
1

I made a top level reply to your original op. Check your notifications.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:04 AM
1

So...you still got dates from women in NYC then. <_<
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:02 AM
2

Some dating coaches also say the if he wanted to he would thing. A portion of that is true, sort of along the lines of He's Just Not That Into You (the book more than the film), but it gets toxic when you expect every step of the relationship to be some grand gesture or when you disbelieve someone after they genuinely tell you how they feel (or how someone else feels). In general you're better off taking every bit of advice from dating experts with a grain of salt. And as a pro tip, I've found t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 01:53 AM
8

Idk, they didn't sound mean spirited. That's not the point. It shows a lack of perspective and disregard for the other person. It's also a symptom of the whole unrealistic, over romanticized, and self-centered mindset many women have regarding modern dating. What if guys thought that women didn't really love them if they weren't willing to have sex whenever the man wanted? Fucked up thinking, right? How is that better than thinking men should risk their job or even catch a case over a woman? It'…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 01:39 AM
15

My friends said if he wanted to he would. That he would take the risk if he thought I was worth it. That's some really gross and one-sided thinking tbh. (On your friends' part, obvs, not yours.)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 01:27 AM
24

You're trying to think about it from his perspective, but you're really only considering one facet of that perspective. From your mindset, guys approach girls whenever they're (really) into them. It's a binary. Just like saying "yes" or "no" is a binary for girls. But it's way more complicated for guys. Sometimes the guy is shy, sometimes the guy is scared of rejection (very common and reasonable), sometimes he just hasn't figured out what to say. The people around you don't always help either (…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 01:26 AM
2

I think we're talking past each other and beating a dead horse, so I'll just say this and be out: Self-delusion isn't always limited to positive lies about one's circumstances. Good luck, keep trying, and get after it. I'm out.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 12:52 AM
2

I'll just keep going back to what I've been saying. Focusing on a defeatist narrative isn't helpful. I'm the first guy to admit there's a lot of unfairness in the world (especially in the dating market), and some outright nonsense to contend with. I personally think a lot of decent looking guys are being gaslighted into thinking they're ugly, to be honest. But the key solution isn't "internalize the idea of yourself as ugly," right? The solution is "make yourself better."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 11:35 PM
1

I'll put it to you like this: If Steve Buscemi can get girls, so can you. Also, to quote Reinhold Niebuhr: Father, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other. Emphasis added.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 11:11 PM
1

I'm glad to hear you're getting some support. By your own admission just there though, you're probably coming up short on the job front. So maybe there's others that you're more average than truly above average in. No worries tho. Sounds like you're young still, so you have time. Keep striving and be careful to avoid self-defeating echo chambers.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 10:36 PM
1

In that brief paragraph you've already given me reason to highly doubt whether you truly "meet those things," let alone whether you'd be fit to judge yourself in those areas. I'm sorry, but that's my read on your situation. My advice would be for you to get some outside opinions on what you're doing wrong and where you're coming up short (likely shorter than you realize) in the areas I listed. Adult males in healthy relationships, preferably ones older than you, would be a good place to start in…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 10:21 PM
1

Due respect and all, but what are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 10:00 PM
3

What "prior findings"? And what does "altruism" even mean in this context? Sounds like bad science trying to counter equally bad science.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 09:49 PM
1

For whatever it's worth, not that I need to explain or justify myself to you, but OP and I had a pretty fruitful back and forth (which you'd have seen if you weren't so busy white knighting and moral grandstanding). I won't speak for him, but I'd guess he's doing okay. But yessir, doc. You really showed me. I'll be sure to "take my medicine." 😂🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 09:00 PM
3

I'm clearly a very bad person with glaring psychological issues. Y'know, cuz I say logical things a little inelegantly sometimes. 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 08:30 PM
2

You're the one coming at me with an implicitly fatalist argument about how fatphobia is locking you out of the dating market. There are plenty of fat guys who have the remainder of what I said locked down and they smash. But that's because they did the work rather than making excuses.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 08:10 PM
2

I'm adaptable to the country or city, but New York has been in my experience too crowded. When you talk about crowding and romanticize Midwestern or country life, the vibe I get from you is "I don't like cities." Maybe you don't like major cities or urbane/metropolitan cities, but that's also kind of a limited distinction. Cities are cities. Cities are places with vertical rather than horizontal housing, so definitionally they pack more people in and get more crowded. New York City is one partic…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 08:06 PM
1

A man with all of these what I wrote isn't cooked, and probably isn't obese. I'm guessing you didn't read the fullness of what I wrote.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 07:44 PM
3

That's fair. It's all pretty subjective. That's why I asked you the questions I did and made the assumptions I made. A guy who prefers small town living and down home girls is gonna have trouble in major cities. A city boy like myself is gonna have an easier time (not an easy time, mind you) in New York than Dallas though, just for context.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 07:42 PM
6

No offense, man. But you made the thread talking in general terms about something that seems more like a matter of personal experience and preference. Speaking anecdotally, I've done well in New York (like the guy I replied to, but younger).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 07:27 PM
3

Yeah, yours is definitely more a case of personal preference. If you don't like major cities, you'll hate a lot of SoCal. I'm a California kid myself, so I get it. Make sure you plant roots in a small town (as close to one as you can) when you make your move. But don't make it out to be a matter of "which place is good for men," just think and talk in terms of "which place is good for me," y'know
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 07:03 PM
17

New York actually has better gender ratios than most other cities, both big and small. I honestly have no clue what OP is talking about when he says it's harder there except...maybe the problem is a little more about him than the scene itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 06:24 PM
18

Get off Reddit and go to therapy. That's not a joke or me being dismissive. The "feedback" you've gotten implies you have issues. You yourself don't dispute that claim. No amount of advice column type Reddit threads will do nearly as much good as talking through your issues directly and confidentially with a professional.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 06:13 PM
7

What's a "quality woman"? (Serious question.) Also, if you think NYC and Miami are "bad" places, my guess is that what you're looking for isn't exactly what most people are looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 06:05 PM
10

This whole post feels like a cross between r/niceguys and r/iamverysmart. It's also basically just black-pilled doomer bullshit, I'm sorry. You're trying to argue that being intelligent is unattractive, but that just doesn't hold water. Women do value intelligence, but to put it in STEM terms, they care more about general intelligence than specialized knowledge. Oh, you're great at math but have mediocre (at best) social skills? Guess what, you're the human equivalent of a calculator or a chess …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 06:00 PM
3

I think you’re underselling it and trying to white pill people - which is definitely infantalizing them. You should really read my post history before you throw out any white pill accusations. My main thing is keeping it real and saying the truth (at least as I understand it) even when it's unpopular. I get cooked on PPD sometimes for telling the truth about women in the dating market. But then I also get downvoted into oblivion by incels on various subs (notably Tinder) for telling them stuff t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 05:43 PM
8

We're trending into a black-pilled area when we think in these terms tho. I'm also extremely against most plastic surgery for all sexes. The truth, which doomers don't acknowledge because it runs counter to their fatalist narrative, is that everything I mentioned in the middle portion of my post can help a lot in the looks area (including facially). A base "4" who takes care of his skin, dresses well, and gets into good-to-great shape can become a "6." Do the work before you write everything off…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 05:14 PM
56

What trait(s) automatically puts a man above average? Good job - pays well and/or is respected Smart/Thinker - has actual thoughts in his head (good ones) and the ability to reason well Physically fit - not even big muscles or visible abs, just not fat and able to do real exercise comfortably Good skin - healthy, clean, no obvious breakouts or other problem areas Well dressed - not necessarily a suit or a "trendy* look, just putting notably more effort and thought in than "is this clean?" Admire…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 04:46 PM
3

As a baseline, I definitely think there's a disparity between what people think they want (or what they idealize) and what's actually good for them (what will make them happy). Andrew Tate I'm sorry, but anyone who mentions this guy unironically loses me automatically. He's a performance artist. He admits it's an act, or at least a massive exaggeration. Please find a better example to use if you want to make a serious argument or raise a serious question. "To get into a long term relationship wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 04:23 PM
7

51 percent of men aged 18 to 29 are single, per your own source. Compare with 32 percent single among women in the same age range. Even if I was off on guestimating some of the numbers in my own post, 51% single among prime dating age males is kinda gross. Even 40, which is what it would probably be if we averaged across a broader grouping of ages, is still troubling IMHO.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 05:05 AM
6

If we're averaging, it should ideally encompass a wide array. For the sake of simplicity though, let's just imagine a guy in his twenties. I'd say men, on average, still struggle in their thirties, but it's a more complex and varied picture as time passes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 04:23 AM
6

33m here. There seems to be some confusion here about the average man here, at least in America. No, there isn't. He is often described as having to triumph over almost herculean levels of hardship when he is attempting to find a partner Definitely an exaggeration, but it's based on a non-strawman reality. Average men are struggling, and not just in dating. Who actually disagrees with that statement? (No one credible IMHO.) How is the average man in the U.S. faring: physically Not great. He's fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 04:16 AM
55

This whole post has strong "touch grass" vibes, all due respect. Definitely cut back your time on the 'Hub. To sorta answer your question with an anecdote: I've spent some time in The Lifestyle (kink, bdsm, etc). Let me tell you, some of the freakiest and most sexually proficient, seemingly well satisfied people were often not what one would call "conventionally attractive." It's like how the most active, committed nudists are generally not the kind of people you'd want to see nude.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 10:04 PM
1

I'm kinda joking. It follows from his premise that he, a man who had success in dating and relationships (at least enough to make you), was therefore an arsehole. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 09:29 PM
1

So your dad's an arsehole then?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 09:22 PM
2

Yeah. Chubby at least, if my math and conversions are right.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 09:20 PM
2

It seems like you're both overweight, OP. Like who you like, but you can't necessarily expect other people to put in more work than you yourself are willing to, appearance wise.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 09:19 PM
2

I'd be willing to bet you large sums of money that this didn't happen
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 09:12 PM
10

I would say that there is a mix of rose tinted glasses for guys you're into and the opposite of those glasses where you try to err on the cautious side of guys you're not attracted to. Exactly this. If you're judging purely off looks and not behavior, you're basically just using "creepy" as a synonym for "ugly." Plenty of people do this. (Conversely, hot people often get treated better regardless of other factors.)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 08:46 PM
22

I was absolutely creepy as a younger man. I don't think it was simply a case of people misjudging me. I was socially awkward, chubby, a little slow at times, and kind of an overall loser. Being a home schooled shut-in until 18 didn't help. Being homeless for roughly the next 7 years after that wasn't exactly a big improvement. I worked hard to overcome a lot though. When I was finally working, stably housed, and in decent shape, I did better. Maybe a lot better, it kinda fluctuates. I did still …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 08:11 PM
5

Okay question. are you dating other people during this time? I'm trying to probably. 😂 How many things I'm actually juggling varies wildly from month to month. An average of 2 to 3 nights a week carved out for dates isn't that crazy, and leaves plenty of space for multiple people. Plus not everyone's plate spinning. Gotta factor in the monogamous daters when determining an average guideline as well. 7 to 10 days between dates, per person, seems super fair regardless. And I know, see how producti…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:51 PM
3

I was gonna say a firm date number, but I'm modifying my answer based on some really great responses and dialogues in the comments. (WTF, did I just say that about a PDD thread?) As far as the number of dates, it's definitely gonna vary. Using the number of weeks or months as a guideline is probably better. Time breeds knowledge and trust. It also gives plenty of opportunities for a decent number of dates as well. If you can't make time for approximately 1 date every 7 to 10 days, do you really …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:35 PM
1

👌
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:26 PM
1

I want to spend time with this person. If he asks me out I go. I will ask him to go places and get tickets for us. You get the tickets? That's pretty cool actually. I will make time to see him. I’m a grad student and my time is precious, if I’m carving out hours for you, you know it’s not something I’m taking lightly Respectfully, this sentence has the unfortunate connotation that your time is more valuable than his. Maybe you don't mean it that way, but that's how it comes off. Couldn't he just…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:25 PM
2

I appreciate the honesty. There's a lot of baggage and bullshit people have to fight through on both sides. On the male side, to give you some perspective: I'm expected to plan, prioritize, and pay. Plenty of people on both sides will quibble with that or say that I shouldn't simply accept all those societal expectations, but they're there. If I'm not planning the date (or at least trying to), I'm not putting in the effort and thus unworthy. If I'm not prioritizing you, or at least giving off th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:16 PM
7

I feel like if we are getting to know one another and we enjoys spending time together it doesn’t matter who pays. This is where I get called a sexist just for acknowledging the elephant in the room, but it's awfully convenient for a woman to say "it doesn't matter" when the cultural norm is that men pay. Obviously everybody's different, your dates might not be like that, and I'm not saying you yourself are doing anything per se wrong either way, but it's a relevant factor. Actually, every singl…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:04 PM
2

But I was obviously into him. Is it obvious though? What are the dates like? Who's paying (the majority of the time)? What's missing or unclear in terms of compatibility or vetting?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 06:50 PM
4

Devil's Advocate: Are 3 dates really not enough? Why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 06:48 PM
2

If I'm viewing both the normie view and TRP critically, not sure what I need to detox from. Also an entire community based solely on saying "nah-uh" to one specific ideology doesn't strike me as the best foundation for one's own personal philosophy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:58 PM
1

I mean, yeah, obviously. I don't even have to agree with the ideology (at least not the whole ideology) to understand that it's not what its detractors make it out to be. People would rather kick down a strawman than argue fairly (and significantly more difficultly) with a steel-man. I don't even really understand the point in arguing many Red Pill tenets because they honestly do graft well onto observable reality. Are they always 100% right? Meh. Neither are weather forecasts. Still better than…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:22 PM
9

I'm not replying to the Automod since I wasn't told to. First and foremost, the Body Positivity™ Movement is a psy-op directed at women by women. Men are an afterthought. That's why body positive language and visuals almost exclusively focus on women. Men don't benefit from it cause they're not meant to. A lot of men don't really buy it either, and women (especially high status women) don't care. So, know that going in. Secondly, there are some more options for men vs women during the leveling u…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:32 AM
3

thanks for the thoughtful response! i really appreciate it. I'm glad. I feel like I catch heat from both sides because I don't tolerate male bullshit or female bullshit. (Not accusing you of being a bulshitter, btw.) fair enough, partly it's that after years of being implicitly told that no one finds me attractive, it kinda disincentivizes putting myself out there. Ugly duckling syndrome. I've been there. Losing weight makes a huge difference, no pun intended. Going from the kind of guy that was…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 02:56 AM
14

I do believe that societal masculine competitiveness and participating in the traditional courting rituals strengthens security on both sides. I don't. I've heard similar arguments from women here. Some RP, some not. But always seems to boil down to games. "Impress me." "Earn it." Blah blah blah. If we're fucking equals, why all the gamesmanship? Why can't we just go out, decide if we like each other, and go from there? Oh right, because modern dating is fucked. So instead of treating each other…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 01:47 AM
18

This is gross to me as both a male and an egalitarian. As a man, I'm supposed to just be okay with hypergamous bullshit and games from women because that's what I'm supposedly built to overcome? Fuck off. As an egalitarian, I gotta stop you and roll my eyes the minute you say "the woman is the prize" or some such nonsense. I'm not winning a ribbon or some tokens at the fare. I'm trying to find a human partner in life. Gees.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 01:34 AM
2

I guess I'll just start by saying I do have empathy for you. Truly I do. But let's just take a look at a few things... i don't think fat/ugly women are any less invisible than fat/ugly men. society treats undesirables of both sexes badly. Part of the problem here, honestly, is that you (and others to be sure) are flattening and conflating a lot of different things here. "Fat" isn't necessarily the same thing as "ugly," if for no other reason than we can easily identify one without much gradation…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 01:23 AM
2

I calls 'em like I sees 'em. You point out the bad apples that we can agree on, I'll gladly back you up in calling them out. Sidenote: Do you actually disagree with any of my claims regarding OP or are you just here for the whataboutism?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:14 AM
-1

How am I assuming bad faith? I quoted you how. If you can't see what's fucked about assuming someone is a bigot just because they don't share your views, I'm not sure I can help you. I’m not diagnosing anyone "Maybe you'll develop empathy once you have kids." (Assumes a lack of it already.) "What are you scared of?" (Assumes the respondent is paranoid) I’m not a psychologist it would be out of my scope of practice and also I would have no idea Damn straight. Try writing your posts with that mind…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:09 AM
0

In my replies literally rn. Check my account.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:05 AM
2

I'm a dude, but w/e, bro. I just think incels are cringe. If they stopped feeling sorry for themselves and did the work, they'd be much better off.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:04 AM
-1

You have questions that assume bad faith to their core and try to diagnose strangers on the internet. All under the guise of "just asking questions" and in a thread ostensibly about parenting. But I'm not being honest? Yeah, sure, buddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 11:59 PM
0

Will you be sexist in the values you raise them with? The fuck kind of question is this? I think for a lot of people empathy comes after someone you love such as a family member goes through an experience we are more likely to change our views to a more empathetic one. Uh-huh. What are you scared about? GTFO with your hackneyed attempts at starting a dialogue and thinly veiled contempt for alternative viewpoints. You can especially GTFO with any cheesy bit of pop psych nonsense you wanna try and…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 11:50 PM
3

"women are using the date as a foodie-call" I love this. I'm gonna start calling it that. This is a different claim Hey, if it is, then I'll bow out. I honestly think OP is on some "poor me" incel shite that really hurts his argument anyway. I just hate to see people deny obvious realities of the dating scene. I just find it extremely hard to believe (absent any other data) that 20% of dates involve women attempting to use the man for a free meal. That's an astounding claim. I don't. But I also …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:49 PM
1

What’s it like being invisible as a man? The way you phrase it, as well as how you lay it out in your brief OP, kinda implies a strawman. Guys here always say most guys feel invisible and as a woman I can’t relate This is broadly true, though I don't love your framing. Do you think men and women don't live distinctly different, gendered experiences? so what’s it like? The non-strawman, non-hyperbolic version? Eh. How much time you got? Don’t other guys acknowledge you? What does that even mean? …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:41 PM
2

Rules 1 and 2. Pretty simple. The particulars are kinda whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:35 PM
4

Hey, we're ultimately not disagreeing on what men should do. So that's the hard part out of that way already. I just think it's important to acknowledge problems that exist in the dating market. It's anecdotal again, but the phenomenon of women not paying even halfway on dates grafts onto the experiences of myself and my peers. It certainly seems common enough to warrant both discussion and concern. (I could also show you threads full of women themselves, not here or FDS, that support this.) We …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:30 PM
11

Anecdotal evidence or the lack thereof doesn't disprove a phenomenon. OP already provided evidence that this is a strategy that's in use. If it hasn't impacted your life, great. You're not the only person in the dating market.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:10 PM
8

Heh. You know a poster is kinda arguing a losing position when someone replies to disagree with them before you can. Thanks, Queen. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:08 PM
6

I appreciate you trying to be smart and evenhanded with the scientific method, but can I offer a soft, brass tacks (albeit partially anecdotal) rebuttal? Women use this strategy. They support and promote this. It receives very little scrutiny or pushback, especially in the mainstream. Given all that, shouldn't men be thinking about this strategy as a legitimate concern, even if there's no guarantee it'll happen on every date? (Or even half their dates?) Not everyone gets into a car accident ever…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:06 PM
1

It's literally as simple as this: Financially investing in women early on to show that you're not just after sex seems logical. No. Wrong. women take advantage of this by using men as free meal tickets Yes. Correct. or giving free sex very quickly to attractive men Separate issue entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:01 PM
15

Willingness to pay for a meal is a dumb vetting strategy tbh. It is. Not sure for how many women that’s a realistic strategy even… Literally tons of women swear by it, and not just the FDS types. So sleep with those you want, when you want, because you want to… and not in some pathetic attempt to land a relationship. But what about the imaginary FWB to BF pipeline? 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 07:58 PM
6

This is the way
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 07:56 PM
2

😐🙂😄😆😂🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 04:00 PM
7

Swinging? Would you or wouldn’t you Would not. and why? I'd like to just say it's a stupid kink/fetish and be on my way, but that's considered too dismissive and verboten now, so I guess I'll go long. People can like what they like. I really don't care. But I personally think trying to be any version of ENM (which encompasses swinging) is not a winning relationship strategy. Fun for young and/or kinky people? Sure. Again, like what you like. But maybe don't pretend like it needs to be valorized …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 03:48 PM
6

You're still missing it. I'm honestly still not sure you fully understand the concepts you're talking about, let alone the observable reality that they're trying to contextualize. Women hitting the Wall are often bristling at the realization they're no longer physically the same, despite them being mentally the same. I call it the perpetual twenty-something mentality. It's why some women literally lie about their age. They can't reckon with the fact that their SMV has gone down, they need to fin…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 03:33 PM
5

"Hitting the Wall" is not just some idea that aging is bad in general. It's about how men and women age differently, and how that impacts the dating scene. Saying "older people still have options, so the Wall doesn't exist" is like saying "women still date men they're less attracted to for financial/support reasons, so AFBB is wrong." You're literally using the existence and proof of the concept to try and refute it. Go actually read up on the terminology before you try deconstructing it maybe.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 03:01 PM
2

"Common" is obvious. Just ask around (even irl, not just internet communities). "Justified" is tricky, because it can lead down a dark path. If you justify your negative emotions, do you then valorize them? Do you act on that sense of self-righteous indignation? Ehhhh Focus on following Rules 1 & 2 of dating. Recognize the reality of the situation, but don't dwell on its unfairness.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 02:29 PM
6

All you're gonna see here are personal opinions and anecdotes, predominantly from people who are at least 2 of the following: Under 30 Childless Not even in an LTR (let alone a long one or a marriage) I say that just to say...take every reply with a grain of salt (even mine I guess). I've heard from happy parents and unhappy ones. Same with the childless. It all depends. I'm 25 (male) and considering the potential upside vs downside of starting a family in my 30s ... i always assumed "yeah, i'll…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 02:21 PM
2

I love the honesty and lack of specificity. This is a realer (and more normie) answer than I was expecting to read here.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 05:18 AM
2

I suppose I can't guarantee you anything in this crazy world, but I'd bet money that anyone who says the last sentence isn't talking about (or otherwise concerned with) the subtle nuances of Gender ID.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 03:10 AM
8

"Don't get mad, get angry." "It's important to be inquisitive, but not curious." "I love women, but hate females." Maybe I'm too jaded, but most often I see examples more like these than anything else. Do legitimate linguistic distinctions exist and merit discussion? Sure. Is that what the majority of "this vs that" type talk in blogs, seminars, YouTube videos, etc is? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 01:34 AM
6

I'd settle for just a significant reduction in hypocrisy
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 11:35 PM
22

Women, broadly speaking, want a man who can be nice, not necessarily a "nice man." So it's niceness as a skill or a potentiality, not a dominant trait. It's similar to the difference between being a man who's capable of violence and a "violent man." Then there's the whole "nice guy" meme or archetype, which is basically just someone who makes niceness their whole personality or primary selling point. Those guys are often very transparent and understandably unattractive. (Lots of overlap between …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 11:30 PM
1

Yes. Often because they appeal to women more than men... which brings us back to men and being fundamentally different. 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 10:04 PM
2

Not to just tunnel in on the thing that agrees with my argument and ignore that rest but... I’ve seen a few men on tiktok being extremely honest about male behaviour ... and that helped me a lot when it comes to vetting men. This is literally what I'm talking about. Where's the controversy? the things those male dating coaches will never discuss I think my biggest mistake may have been using the term "coach" (mainly just cribbing from sports terminology). I'm not endorsing any particular individ…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 10:01 PM
1

"You'll have to work twice as hard for half as much." Do I even need to answer the second part? 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 09:37 PM
2

She probably learned it from a man. I'm just...serious. XD [tries to outrun pitchforks]
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 09:34 PM
1

Successful women know enough about men to be successful in dating. That's just words. What does that even mean? (I'm asking rhetorically. Your next sentence kinda seals the problem here.) Of course men prefer to not know about the effort behind it and that's fine. I gave you a compelling narrative, including reasoning. A lot of what I've said is based on widely agreed upon data, and can be backed up with sources right now. You're coming back at me with the equivalent of an "I just feel like that…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 09:07 PM
0

No one is attacking fleshlights and only fans Two very different things though. You can't attack Only Fans, since doing so is (arguably) anti-feminist. You absolutely can and do attack fleshlights. (I mean the proverbial "you," obvs.) Ironically, a lot of the arguments against porn, and sex work more broadly, could still very easily be made against OF. But since women are the face of that industry and don't seem to be getting exploited, many feminists keep mum. Again, I'm just here asking questi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 08:07 PM
1

why women supposedly won't tell you what women want It's not "supposed." Plenty of women go through life with a "he should just know " sort of mindset. But that's not even the issue. Competent men know enough about the female mindset to have a shot (assuming said men are also reasonably high status or at least raising status as well). Women, on average, don't know enough about the male mindset to even understand what dating is like for us, let alone how to date us to a high level of success (by …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 08:00 PM
6

I'm actually in line with the more normie and upvote-friendly stance here: No, they don't. If you got a match or a phone number, you were having some success already at minimum. But if you fumbled to bag in the texting arena, that's all there is. Same if you made it all the way to a 1st date and they didn't agree to a second. Yes, it's hard for dudes. Yes, women should have way more empathy and reasonability in certain areas. But no, you're not owed anything extra if she's already given you a ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 05:39 PM
1

Oh, where to even begin with this reply. Should I start with how taking up your BF's hobby isn't even a substantive enough thing to count as "being willing to change"? Or the fact that this was easily the most frivolous requirement on the list?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 05:23 PM
3

Oof. And people call me a jerk. Don't let the women see you saying that. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 04:10 PM
1

It’s not. It is, and your failure to argue why it isn't basically means you can't. Who decides who is competent? Knowledge and Results, going all that way back to my post. Don't just ask a random guy you know. Consult with someone who's actually demonstrated some success, or at least good ideas, in this area. I don't ask random men for advice on men's medicine or anatomy, but I know the best advisors in those areas will most likely be male.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 04:08 PM
4

It’s useful for indicating how someone feels about curvy women. I wouldn’t say his standard for thinness were unreasonable considering his own physique (he’d previously intended to go into the Marine Corps, and still hit the gym regularly) but simply enough he was only interested in slim/athletic women. Now that you explained it, I'm pretty much completely on his side (in terms of body preferences). You gotta be careful about drinking the Kool aid vis-a-vis body positivity. That shit is a psy-op…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 03:48 PM
1

I'd love to see these female coaches and check their results. I'm deeply skeptical. Also this... Men will tell you exactly what they think men want all the time This is either wrongheaded or a strawman. Probably both. One part presupposes men don't actually understand how other men think, or at least can't offer useful insights. Umm...what? The other part basically amounts to saying that men are just advising women to be, and do, "only what men want" which is a strawman.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 03:40 PM
4

Why TF is this a Q4W?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 03:34 PM
6

His problem was 100% unreasonable standards. Hot girl syndrome. Makes sense He insisted on holding out for a woman who: Is not overweight (or even thicc) I'm so inclined to reflexively eye roll at the word "thicc" that I can never take it seriously, even in this context. If what you mean by "not overweight or thicc" is he wanted an unreasonably thin woman, better to just say that. "Thicc" has no value as a descriptor, it's been misapplied and made a euphemism/shorthand for an awful body type. Ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 03:31 PM
4

I know women who ... would change to meet them. Pull my other leg, it plays jingle bells
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 03:22 PM
1

Guess you didn't read my post then. I discount incompetent men. Not every man is gonna give good advice, but good advisors will be overwhelmingly male. Also are you seriously gonna say none of what you posted is a strawman? Saying/admitting it's all anecdotal doesn't help either.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 03:17 PM
3

Sounds like a strawman almost all the way down.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 03:07 PM
9

Sounds like objectification all the way down then. Assuming I take this premise on, it seems pretty hard to do much of anything in light of it. Also, still just devil's advocacy, it's a little convenient to say, as a woman, that any and all male sexual outlets are objectionable on the basis of feminism. Couldn't a man argue then that many female sexual outlets are misandrist?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 01:48 PM
4

The only competent coaches I've come across have been women. Based on actual results, or just that their advice aligns more with your worldview going in? A great coach/advisor/mentor tells their padawan stuff they don't want to hear sometimes. Often actually, especially in the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 01:41 PM
4

In my experience on this intermittently awful site, people who feel called out downvote the offending opinion to hell and might offer up a weak "nuh uh!"
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 01:38 PM
3

That means you're either bland AF online or spicy AF irl. Seems way weirder to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 01:36 PM
28

Just playing devil's advocate: How do you explain the stigma on male sex toys and sex dolls/robots then? Seems like women just generally dislike men engaging in sexuality independent of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 01:34 PM
3

Sounds like you weren't talking to competent coaches. Also I specifically addressed the whole "prettier" thing in my post already.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 01:25 PM
3

Games geared towards girls, like the Sims, are dominated by women. I'm sorry, what? What? Could you repeat that? Games geared towards girls Sorry, one more time. Games geared towards girls Okay. We're done here. You literally just said something that borderline proves my point and invalidates your whole reason for arguing with me: Women need things geared towards them to develop an interest and/or pick them up easier. As in they think differently and have different enticement mechanisms. As in w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 03:15 AM
2

You're arguing something different from your original statement now. Your initial claim was this If you're single in your 30s? 1. You're a serial monogamist whose LTR blew up 2. You're divorced 3. Something's really wrong with you 2 is basically redundant to 1, and 3 is just pure ad hominem. You also said "30s" full stop, not "well into." To answer your new claim, IDK. I'd guess a disproportionate number of males, some more by choice than others. Definitely some females too though, as evidenced …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 03:01 AM
3

Wow. Stereotyping with a nice helping of shade on top. You must be well liked irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 02:51 AM
2

It's the nature versus nurture argument all the way down. My whole thing on that is this...if we can admit as a society that nature explains the physical side, why can't we even tolerate the idea that nature plays a role in the mental side?! Scientific realists all understand and agree men are stronger than women (on average, if I must). It's fringe at best to argue otherwise. But men and women can't possibly be predisposed to different interests or sociocultural niches from each other? It's got…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 02:29 AM
1

"Urban legend"
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 01:30 AM
4

They're imperfect examples, but point to general, observable trends. Also spare me the outliers as "proof" of a valid counter narrative. Males overwhelmingly prefer games and sports more than females do. This is why men make up a disproportionate number of audience members for professional games and sports, even in the women's divisions. Community is a huge part of sports True, but not in the same way as churchgoing, volunteerism, nursing, and a whole host of other community activities and peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 10:47 PM
1

Kinda eh on that still. Saying we all have psychic damage from the oversexed nature of the culture at large is a separate and ultimately unhelpful line of thinking IMHO. Like, what even is the moral of that story? We're all fucked up so the weight of personal choice is less? Meh. A virgin with a porn addiction can do damage to himself or be a damaged individual, sure. A person who's had loads of sex can still be paradoxically low in neuroticism. But the former isn't relevant to my dating concern…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 10:37 PM
2

Until the last century pink was for boys, blue for girls. Myth. Via Wikipedia: Prior to 1940, two conflicting traditions coexisted in the U.S., the current tradition, and its opposite, i.e., "blue for girls, pink for boys". This was noted by Paoletti (1987,[2] 1997,[3] 2012[1]). Since the 1980s, Paoletti's research has been misinterpreted and has evolved into an urban legend Selected Citations: https://books.google.com/books?id=HPyIoreJ1jIC&pg=PP2#v=onepage&q&f=false https://www.researchgate.net…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 10:02 PM
4

That's taught, along with our biases, which everyone has. Everything is nurture? No nature? Surely you don't believe that. If you do, I'm not sure what else there is to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 09:22 PM
2

?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 09:20 PM
9

That's because trucks are marketed towards boys and dresses towards girls. Bullshit. Studies have been done on this already. Absent outside pressure, boys gravitate overwhelmingly to things-oriented lifestyles and play on average. Girls gravitate towards people-oriented lifestyles and play. Boys get into gaming, sports, and vehicles. Girls get into fashion, gossip, and community. Etc, etc. Scandinavian countries aren't perfectly gender neutral Nowhere is. They're some of the closest though. Pret…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 09:20 PM
11

They're two opposite extremes, mostly populated by heteros with blatantly dysfunctional and toxic views on their preferred gender. (Actually, assuming it's all heteros on either side might actually be too charitable.)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 09:00 PM
6

I'm sorry, OP, but your whole premise is built on faulty thinking. Gendered differences aren't all just culturally influenced or enforced. Take a look at the Scandinavian countries, which have the most gender neutrality of any cultures. Boys still gravitate towards trucks and suits, girls still gravitate towards babies, dresses, and the like. As to some specifics of your post... I think men and women can wear the same clothes( even bras can benefit men with manboobs) Show me a single man with gy…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 08:55 PM
53

What do y'all think about this list of red flags? Anyone who sits down at a computer and types out what you described is almost certainly a loser. Even if there's some defensible or straight up logical stuff on there, it's way too long a list. He's invalidating whatever good ideas he has with all the bad ones, plus the sheer volume is autistic AF.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 07:38 PM
12

Precisely. This is straight r/ChoosingBeggar shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 07:06 PM
8

Allow me to quote myself. They go after the same men, but those men don't reciprocate equally. Did I ever say men don't date fat chicks? I think I basically indicated that they do, but don't treat them equally. And then you yourself just said they do it "on the down low." So what exactly are we disagreeing on?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 05:46 PM
1

From reading the Redpill forums, I have noticed that women are generally viewed as hunting men for [their] monetary value, however women who have careers are also considered bad dating choices. These are two separate concepts that you're conflating into a quasi strawman. Let's break them down. women are generally viewed as hunting men for [their] monetary value This is a fact. How accurate it is varies, but most women factor in financial security when judging a man. however women who have career…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 05:42 PM
1

I was really hoping this would be about an individual person's own life context, which I absolutely do think matters and is overlooked in these sorts of discussions. Sadly, all I found was just apologia for poor life choices under the pretense of "modernity." I'm not a prude and I don't prioritize women being as sexually inexperienced as possible, but we can't just say "the society as a whole is oversexed, women have no choice" or "n count doesn't matter if we're all regularly talking sex and ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 05:26 PM
1

I generally think this is a case of women pretending the problem is harder than it really is. But I'm also convinced, based on personal experience and data I've looked into, that the solutions are broadly acceptable in the minds of women themselves, so it's all kinda hopeless. I'll just take your own post, OP, and break it down to make my point. I noticed how as a man, it's pretty easy to notice when a woman is only using you for your attention, money, or resources Is it? (well, at least when yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 05:19 PM
3

My two generalized pieces of advice for succeeding in dating are Do the Work and Be Reasonable. I can expand on the former, since that's more applicable to what I think OP is getting at with this question. Do the Work: Work on yourself, and work towards your goals. If you're a mess of a person, who'd want to date you? Work on yourself first. I usually say this in terms of physical health, fitness, and overall lifestyle, but this includes mental health. Make yourself the best version you can be b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:56 PM
8

Skinny women and overweight women don't play on the same level. They go after the same men, but those men don't reciprocate equally. If what you meant is that most women aim for the same top 20th to 10th percentile of men, then you're basically just stating the obvious. But to assume that they have equivalent success rates is ludicrous. That aside, if women date up on average, and men date slightly to noticeably down on average, then the answer to the question of "average men" is obvious: Date r…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:39 PM
2

Right? Just because some men how fetishes or weird/low standards doesn't mean the whole idea of beauty hierarchies is bunk. Straight men all understand what an objectively attractive woman is. Margot Robbie is a great example. Even a guy who's attracted to a different type of girl than Robbie won't even say with a straight face that she's not objectively gorgeous, let alone that she's on the same playing field with someone like Lizzo.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:32 PM
2

If there are no relationship options in the bigger pool, there won't be any in the smaller pool either. What are you talking about? Seriously, what are you talking about? Women date up in general, which you so far have tacitly gone along with. I suggested that one fit right off the bat is...not doing that (or at least not being so adamant about it). If someone goes from dating exclusively people out of their league to predominantly people within their league, then their pool grows. What I'm desc…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 03:19 PM
3

Because they can't find men who want relationships within their league This is bullshit, and on some level you have to know it. Can't find matches when you increase the pool of options? C'mon. Now we're just not talking realistically. It's difficult to find one who actually wants one, and difficult again to find one who you have basic compatibility with. Just give me an exact, full scenario so I know how far we're talking past each other on this. A real (anonymized) friend, if you like. What are…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 12:51 PM
2

It's an inherently subjective assessment though, and was definitely worded as such. My point stands regardless: How is this not still a problem of women making it harder by dating above their league and/or putting too many conditions on matches? You're literally describing a scenario where the guy's been deemed suitable for dating, an LTR was on the table (on his part), and the woman still couldn't or wouldn't close. You really gonna keep up with the "ugh men make it hard" nonsense?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 12:39 PM
17

Why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:50 AM
8

When I was young and horny? Probably. These days? I really just wanna settle down in a non-matrimonial, childfree LTR. Sex is cheap, whether you pay in cash or in other ways. Companionship is what actually gives women value to moi.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:27 AM
1

In your opinion, what are the benefits of dating men for modern day women? I'll just preface by iterating on your own terminology here. I'm voicing my opinion, not making a straight facts claim (though my understanding of available facts may inform my opinion). Relationships, healthy ones, are always mutually beneficial. It's nonsensical to assume otherwise. Do non-beneficial (and thus unhealthy) relationships exist? Yes, absolutely. But we're simply talking in terms of an average potential rela…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:25 AM
1

Almost completely incorrect. I was going into this thinking you were gonna talk about OF and such, which is a more valid issue (though still overblown). If we were talking about the cottage industry that's been born out of monetizing male horniness without solutions to male despair, that's one thing. But are you really just whining about AlphaM or Tony Robbins asking you to buy their books or join their Patreon? Seriously? The self-help is literally flooded with stuff about male self-improvement…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 12:37 AM
5

how hard it is to find a man who both genuinely wants a relationship and actually, after getting to know you, wants it with you. Gees. Take it easy with the self-immolation. It's like you're on the verge of introspection and evolution, but still just can't quite there. If all these relationship-minded men are turning you down, maybe that's a sign that it's not a them problem? And remember that you're still the one picking them as the supposedly only options for you. Something about you and your …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 11:22 PM
13

Good looking, personable, and successful men do NOT struggle to get average women’s attention. You're right. Now tell me, did you just describe an average man?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 09:27 PM
1

I say some spicy shit on here, but even I'm not comfortable doing a "Top 10 Worst Female Behaviors" list. That's gonna get me tarred and feathered. I'll say this: Women are some of the smartest beings on the planet. They just get in their own way, and get in each other's way, a little too often. The comedian Bill Burr likes to joke that the biggest thing holding back women is other women. Examine your own behavior, find the mistakes, and correct them. Don't let other women gaslight you into maki…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 05:06 AM
1

The best thing you can do, as an RP female (or at least open-minded female), is be a good person and put your gender second. The one of the top 10 worst things I see women do is reflexively identify with, or defend, the bad behavior of other women. You're smart. You're your own person. If you do the hard work, and keep putting good stuff out there, you'll find happiness in the end. I believe that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 04:37 AM
1

Basically, in my own opinion at least, men have it harder as teens and young adults. This is part of why TRP is so appealing to young males. Older males who actually made strides to improve themselves will find they can reap the rewards of these efforts. So there's hope. But try telling a horny teenage boy, probably one who's already lonely due to being low status (for whatever reason), that he's gotta wait to fuck. That he has to get his Bachelor's and possibly Master's first. That he's gotta w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 04:24 AM
1

Eh. It's definitely not all sunshine and rainbows. The potential for greater upside after maturity and into middle age is offset by a ton of bullshit in the preceding years, especially for straight guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 04:14 AM
2

If I knew why This lack of introspection and self-knowledge is why people keep suggesting therapy to you. But whatever. This whole post might be an elaborate troll anyway. On the off chance you're sincere, good luck, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 04:10 AM
3

That's not really an answer. You just offered up two parts of what sounds like a rock paper scissors equation. Are you also not able to work while dating? Because it sounds like you are able to pursue women whilst "not in shape," they just don't reciprocate. And you made no acknowledgement of my earlier workaround suggestions. Why are those not options? You can't just say "I can't." That's not exactly alpha/sigma hustle mentality, my guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 04:00 AM
2

I can only focus on one thing at a time. Tell me why. Like, in as much or as little detail as you want. Tell me why. And before you answer, remember that by your own admission you've spent a decent amount of time dating independently of your work or fitness, so I kinda already know how much bandwidth you have.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 03:55 AM
3

I mean, there are ways to stay in shape without necessarily inhibiting your workflow. Home gym as opposed to gym membership, calisthenics versus cardio (assuming your cardio is usually outdoors), etc, etc. That said, I'd always put money first since it's the key to personal freedom in general. But again, really think you're being shortsighted in forcing yourself to choose. Lastly, I have a decent guess on the children thing: you're subconsciously picking the type of women who don't want kids. It…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 03:50 AM
4

Tate is literally a self-admitted troll. He's playing a character, both in his own videos and in his guest appearances. Whatever his real beliefs, and however much they may or may not align with his character's, the bottomline is that almost nothing he says can be taken at face value. I do think he's moderately funny at times though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 02:45 AM
2

If you like that, go ahead. Just don't expect other people to accept or normalize/standardize your preferences or life choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 02:14 AM
2

It's also telling that OP says she thinks women are more attractive than men on average. I hate saying this cuz it has a toxic subtext that I absolutely am not trying to exude or justify, BUT...maybe OP is attracted to women? Like, I'm a straight guy and I see plenty of average-to-above men walking the streets. It's not hard for me to acknowledge this. I can't speak to how many attractive men I see every day versus how many attractive women, but I feel like the statement "[x gender] is more attr…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 12:29 AM
10

I mean, it's tough. You can't say it's just PIV, because that's too heteronormative. It's even tough to say it can't be with oral, because I feel like that eliminates (gold star) lesbians. My knee-jerk answer is it ought to involve more than just hands or just mouths, even if those are a primary means of stimulation in general. And it ought to be a significant experience for at least one of the participants. But I'm pretty open minded on defining this, as long as we're not engaging in willful so…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 12:18 AM
2

many men in their 30s would not date younger women Generally stop you right there. What's "many" even mean in a statement like this? It's an objective, statistically proven fact that men date younger on average (especially as they themselves age) and women prefer to date up in all vectors (including age). Say "some" here, methinks. Men do get worse with age in looks, but women will look past that and are attracted to the [personality] of men as well. That's...quite a hypothetical and blanket sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 09:33 PM
2

Hitting the Wall is about more than just looks or age as a number. It's about the intersection of age, looks, and psychology. That's the nuanced understanding of the concept anyway. No worries if you're only familiar with a strawman (one I'm clearly not putting forward).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 09:17 PM
1

Big difference between "wanting a relationship" in the abstract and being willing to work for one in practice. The amount of effort and self-work a woman over a certain age should put in isn't necessarily equal to what she's willing to put in, especially if she's used to things on easy mode.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 08:54 PM
1

Courage and selfishness are in short supply. We have to admit that straight off. Do I wish it were different? Yes. Do I try to be the outlier in my own life? Also yes. But I'm still a realist. I know more people do what comes easy rather than what comes hard, both men and women. There's a great French movie called Force Majeure that illustrates my point. It had an American remake called Downfall with Will Ferrell and Julia Louis Dreyfus. A man is with his family, and they are seemingly about to …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 05:40 PM
1

Women are very active protecting men too. <_< I've protected boys from bullying. I've protected men from their self destructive addictions, their crushing low self esteem, their hopelessness, their weakness when they were sick or depressed. [proceeds to try and blur lines, talking about things that aren't comparable or what was meant by OP.] I'm sorry, but no. What you describe is being supportive. You're not a protector. You haven't defended adult males from other adult males, or the physical d…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 05:31 PM
3

I wouldn't argue for a specific age, I'd just say there's a trend and rapidly diminishing returns after maturity and middle age. It's incredibly hard for a woman in her thirties to have the same SMV as one in her twenties, that's just logical. And it scales exponentially. Does that mean all men should be like Leo and never date anybody over 25? Fuck no. But the Wall, or something like it, does describe an extant phenomenon. What it refers to is rapid loss in SMV, forcing women to lower their sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 05:24 PM
6

Beer belly, balding and wrinkly men have hit the wall. Are those men representative though? Were they actually attractive (or at least keeping themselves together) for more than may a few years after college? Some men were just ugly, or mediocre at best, all their lives. And a decent reason why is lack of effort on their own part. Take some famous comedians. Bill Burr was never the handsomest guy in the world, but he was always in decent shape and had an okay face. I compare him now to him in, s…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 05:07 PM
2

She knows. It was a joke
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 04:55 PM
7

Morbillion
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 04:53 AM
2

I figured you felt like that. That's why I asked all the qualifying questions. Needless to say, we don't disagree too wildly, but enough to limit productivity in the dialogue, I think. I'm also confident we won't change each other's minds, so I'm good to call it here.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 04:42 AM
1

I think it’s more how do you define a “league” like would you be basing that strictly on looks or other factors because I’m not sure I necessarily agree with your statement. I base it on more than just looks, but looks are heavily weighted. Regardless, the minute we start to get in the weeds like this I feel like we're already off the mark and potentially talking past the issue (and passed each other). A 6 shouldn't be aiming for 9s and 10s. Arguably aiming for even two numbers above is unreason…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 04:27 AM
6

I think in general that the obvious, sort of textbook read on this is the right one. A guy who really wants a virgin is one or more of the following: A virgin himself Generally immature and/or insecure (even if he has had sex and/or LTR) Fetishizing the idea of virginity itself Is there an exception to all these? Maybe, but think about that psychological profile. Why would an experienced, well-adjusted person care all that much about virginity...and how would that not be a fetish? Just seems hig…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 04:02 AM
10

Both very good points. And in that same vein, I feel like guys in their thirties and up who want virgins are implicitly saying that they want either considerably younger women or sexually repressed ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 03:47 AM
1

I mean, not to get too defensive or combative on my part, but I gotta keep asking you. What's the disconnect? Do you not believe dating leagues exist at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 03:35 AM
1

How is it subjective?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 03:27 AM
2

The men who aren't being chosen will be chosen eventually I'd modified this as "unlucky or unsuccessful men still have hope." There are no guarantees, and some men actually do choose to give up. Still, if we operate from the assumption that the men who want to succeed are more adaptable than the women (and men) who refuse to compromise or do the work, it stands to reason that they have more hope than a woman who'd rather be single than compromise her on checklist.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 04:48 AM
1

Just FYI, I'm paraphrasing this from another reply of mine. If making $500,000 a year is automatically in the Top 1% of income globally, then being a Top earner is relatively achievable for the people who want that. My understanding is that being a Top performer at the gym or in overall physical fitness just means being able to lift more than your own body weight, do intensive calisthenics on demand, and have no excess fat on your body. Visible abs are optional. Bodybuilding muscles are optional…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 10:20 PM
1

You're thinking in terms of extremes though, which isn't necessarily correct or constructive. A middle class--dubious as that term is these days--American is automatically in the Top 1% of income globally, when you average it all out. An American male who simply is in shape (not even visible abs), exercises multiple times per week, and can lift more than his body weight is probably at or near Top 1% for physical fitness. We're talking about averaging across hundreds of millions nationally and bi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 10:09 PM
10

I mean, yes, I kind of agree. Girls are statistically and stereotypically more guilty of doggedly dating above their league, but some guys fail to compromise as well. My advice for most people is work harder (on yourself + your strategy) and be reasonable (date in your league, don't have crazy checklists). If everyone followed that advice, the vast majority of problems in the dating scene would be reduced significantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 09:57 PM
2

NOW there are some women like you example of Soleil, where she actually had a medical issue (gigantomastia) and got it fixed, which I completely understand. Oh so glad you approve. It's almost like doing otherwise would be stupid and indefensible. Oh, wait...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 01:48 PM
13

I just tried to put myself into the position of myself as a woman and how I would see it as an asset that I would like to preserve rather than a nuisance. I guess I seem to share the mindset of women getting breast enlargement Bullshit, and your language here is a perfect example. An "asset"? A "nuisance"? What part of "I'm in pain" don't you understand? The fact that you're comparing physically painful breasts that need reducing to augmented ones that were specially design and chosen kinda says…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 03:36 AM
22

Ehhhh. There are a few problems with this, chief among them that you're coming at this from a very biased point of view. You're couching it in the rhetoric of body positivity and being anti-surgery, but the reality is you just like big boobies. You're prioritizing the abstract idea of some random women you've never met having huge knockers, and then finding excuses to justify them never, ever reducing them to a more manageable size (heavens no). I can't even begin to get on board with that, beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 12:25 AM
3

Babs' nose fit her face, and I'm actually really happy she kept it. There's a geometric formula to how our noses map onto us. People screw with that at their own peril IMHO.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 12:04 AM
22

My Brother in Allah, c'mon. As a fellow man, I must stress to you how awful this take is, especially if you already know there's a valid reason for the procedure.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 11:02 PM
0

Soft counter: Trying to "fix" that with surgery isn't necessarily the answer. Consider the cases of Jennifer Grey vs Barbara Streisand. Sometimes you're better off playing the hand you're dealt, even if some assholes won't accept you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 10:59 PM
6

I'll just preface by offering my personal philosophy: Don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to, and, barring that, focus more on context than raw data. Basically, most guys are better off not asking. The ones who insist on knowing should ask for explanations, not just numbers. This applies similarly to women when asking comparable questions to men. 1) what n count is too high for an LTR? Varies by age, and I really try not to judge or even ask (following my own advice). Being into…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 10:46 PM
1

Q4M
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 09:12 PM
12

It's crazy to me that people are actually trying to argue this point with you. We could maybe quibble on word choice or exact, absolute framing, but basically you're stating the obvious: High value males are more successful, which is objectively true. And based on that, you're advocating for generalized self-improvement over a myopic emphasis on one area (looks). The vast majority of people would, or should, agree with all that. What's to argue really?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 09:11 PM
1

samesexsexual Nani? 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 09:05 PM
2

Congratulations? Anecdotal evidence doesn't disprove an extant phenomenon.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 05:42 PM
1

Wonder how long this post spent in the supposed "shitpost filter" that all mine always seem to get caught in, no matter what (and sometimes never come out of successfully). But whatever. That's on the mods more than you, OP. To answer your question, I'd argue that you're conflating some different things here a bit, to say the least. Yes, poorer and less educated people have children at higher rates. They probably are less neurotic (in the technical sense) and picky than others. They also make wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 05:41 PM
6

And as for John Mulaney....for all of that proudly and loudly childfree, I guess he put the burden of that on his first wife since he was able to recklessly knock up....the woman who he ended up knocking up. I had friends who are dating men who claim to be childfree (aka desire to never have children in the future) and I tell them that unless this man has already gotten a vasectomy or already started the process on its own, he's childfree with you. Or maybe Anna didn't want kids? And it was some…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 05:17 PM
3

Right? Seems like a pretty lopsided read to say "he chose for both of them and she just put up with it."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 05:15 PM
2

Of course. Why wouldn't they? I'm sure some guys do as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 04:41 PM
3

I'd strongly advise you to get off of apps if you can, first and foremost. Barring that, the approach that I've heard recommended most and seems most practical is this: Juggle as many options as you can, push hard for IRL meetups with each of them ASAP, and don't really spend too much time on the pen pal bullshit. Neither of you will really know what's what until an IRL meet, so the whole pen pal thing is just a waste of time for the most part.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 04:15 PM
1

Hey, I appreciate the honesty (even if we struggled to get there). Like who you like. Just recognize that it's a limiting factor, and you are choosing to follow those criteria of yours more, or less, rigidly at any given time. As a guy, for comparison, my "type" pretty much just compromises a few things: Roughly in my "league" (not too high or too low), good personality, and generally an honest person. And sometimes she only has two of those qualities. That's it, and I work with it. Not because …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 02:36 PM
2

It's interesting that you jumped to attractiveness. I actually, deliberately didn't offer a criteria. Money is a criterion. Height is a criterion. Age, Race/Ethnicity (though we don't like to talk about it), Interests, and Culture are all factors. Etc, etc. I simply said you've got enough options to choose differently. If you prefer to pick the same types of guys and oddly expect different results, you're welcome to it. But again, let's just be honest enough to admit you had the opportunity to d…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 02:13 PM
3

I'll put it to you this way: If you're using apps, you probably get multiple matches and messages. Maybe it's not the stereotypical hundreds, but it's more than one or two. It's enough to be picky. Same with being asked out, or just flirted with, IRL (albeit to a lesser extent). If you have options and you're the one saying "no" to some guys and "yes" to others, does it not then follow that you had the potential to pick differently? You act like it's just a matter of luck, or that every guy will…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 01:55 PM
3

You're absolutely right. You are absolutely fucking right. But all evidence points to said women being the minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 03:50 AM
2

Precisely. Thank you. It's a misapplication of terms. If we aim to discuss, and ideally correct, the phenomenon, we should contextualize it accurately. Calling it "natural selection" also has the nasty implication that this is some normal process which is occurring beyond our control. The reality is we have the tools to help the poor and un(der)educated have less kids, and they themselves would likely appreciate it if we pitched it to them correctly. But we're not doing that for various reasons …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 03:48 AM
6

Respectfully, you probably can. They're just not the guys you prioritize.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 03:38 AM
10

But women don't want those men. 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 03:36 AM
1

A lot of people are latching onto the problem you stated, but missing a key qualifier you introduced it with i think the only dating struggle that i’ve personally had I personally appreciate your honesty here. As a man, I'd kill to have only one challenge. Even if that challenge were.. racial fetishization. I'm not even saying that in the "take it as a compliment" sense. I literally just mean, what a privilege to not have any problems in dating, except occasionally facing objectification. That's…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 03:32 AM
5

When does this "courtship stage" end?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 03:07 AM
7

Are you really surprised that (stereotypically speaking) sexually frustrated nerds on the internet would treat dating like a math problem? Really? I'm agnostic on a lot of this stuff myself, but I certainly don't begrudge anybody their strategies for improving themselves and increasing their shot at success. Only thing I really ever push back on is blatant toxicity couched in pseudo scientific terms. But I feel like that's a rarity, and it's honestly just a broad brush that all the guys in this …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 05:34 PM
3

Good bot
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 05:15 PM
1

It makes no difference if they are white or asian or african. Never mentioned race. I'd honestly say culture is the deciding factor. There are white savages and civilized brown people. But it's indisputable that in certain areas of the world, places where women's rights never caught on, women are still treated almost like resources more than people. So in those places, the resulting resource war will be far uglier. Do you really think incels revere women? Because that is what you will have with …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 07:43 PM
3

Assuming it's a civilized society? Way more. You take most western countries and give them those gender ratios, expect women to become even more sought after and revered. It's important to remember also that the female dominated fields and pursuits would suddenly be understaffed, making women far more valuable in those as well. Now, in a less civilized society... let's just say we can already kinda see how that's playing out for real in certain parts of the world, and it ain't pretty. The lack o…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 09:00 AM
3

I think you're safe, my guy. XD (half joking )
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 08:48 AM
2

Same.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 04:53 AM
1

I'm gonna break this down and try to be as pragmatic as I can. Hopefully won't be too wordy or long-winded either. Advantages to both: Pretty privilege. People automatically like me just off of my looks, I get free stuff, easier time dating (and mating), the whole bit. Financial independence. I presumably want for nothing, live comfortably, and invest at a level where I can live off the dividends. Gendered drawbacks for Men: Even though I'm on easy mode, I still gotta try a little. There may sti…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 11:11 PM
6

OP, respectfully, I gotta call bullshit on all of this. The question, the assumptions, the premise, the framing. You're not saying anything that I can even see as a good faith jumping off point, let alone agree with. Firstly, Why is the physical act of cheating so devastating to men? Why is it so devastating to women? This isn't a gendered thing. Everyone hates cheaters. Whereas with us girls I think its more the full package of emotional cheating that goes along with it also. Congratulations on…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 10:42 PM
21

Isn't it just as likely that much of this gender stuff will go down in history as a cringey trend that people ultimately grew out of? I kinda see it more like Gen Z's version of cheesy 80s fashion.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 10:28 PM
2

No, in part because that's already the tacit state of affairs now. It's the quiet part we all understand, but we're not allowed to say out loud. It's already said out loud in certain circles, by men and women alike. Having it become socially acceptable to say on the evening news, for example, wouldn't really serve much point.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 10:26 PM
4

Just based on what I've read, including some research studies, it seems like women are more flexible in that area, at least on average. I don't know if I'd jump all the way to "most women are bi," especially if we're defining bisexuality as a prevailing attraction to both genders. My guess would be, for both biological and cultural reasons, women just aren't as closed off to experiences that don't strictly fit the label "straight." Call it "experimental" rather than "bi." EDIT: It's important to…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 11:00 PM
1

This is one of those topics that I wish we could discuss without all the bullshit and team-picking of modern culture. Whilst it's not as simple as "men support Depp" and "women support Heard," one could argue "feminists support Heard" is roughly true, even after the ruling. One can't pigeonhole all the Depp supporters as merely all anti-feminists and redpills, the coalition is broader than that. But those two contingents do seem to be some of the loudest voices within said coalition. I'm persona…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 10:03 AM
2

Check out this Twitter thread (and be sure to scroll up to the top): https://twitter.com/Genx_Genx_/status/1540609846415970304?t=c3wwzXNS88BvVRSgqysWXQ&s=19 I already made a post about it (pending mod approval/rejection), but thought it was a fascinating example of people hitting on key issues, often without realizing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 09:37 AM
8

As a straight guy, this was both super insightful and depressing...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 09:13 AM
8

Every woman which had approached me had aimed significantly above her rank. Gotta preface with the Obligatory "men do that too," BUT I do generally agree it's something we need to acknowledge as a problem on the female side. To the extent dating leagues and SMV exist, we should all be trying to date more closely within our "league."
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 09:03 AM
1

Submission Statement: I came across this chain of tweets and just thought it was a pretty telling example of what's wrong with dating specifically, and gender relations more broadly. Not meant as a shitpost or a call out (well, maybe of the middle girl a little). Just like...well, just look at it. Top is a mediocre, trite joke that's arguably punching down and misses some relevant points and history. Middle is a person who lacks self-awareness and inadvertently makes one of the incel community's…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 08:43 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter