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Grafixx5 Archive

View 10 posts and 350 comments by Grafixx5 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

That’s also a narc trait. Ruining special days of someone else to bring the attention back to themselves. My ex did it ALL the time, vacations were always where SHE wanted, ruin birthdays or any holiday, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 12:27 PM
3

I think they mean rough round trip and OBEYING the speed limit
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 12:26 PM
1

So use a condom
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 11:14 AM
3

Look, as man others have said, she’s probably doing you a favor. Just take care of your kid and let it be.t
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 01:03 AM
4

Speaking from MY situation only. I edited over 16 years with her and 4 dating. SHE ended it, finally. I wanted out for an extremely long time but the ONLY reason why I stayed was because we had a child together and I didn’t want our child, later children, to grow up in divorced households. It sucks, I’m a product of one. I didn’t care about the money, retirement or anything that may have been lost. Why? Because I will figure it out, as I always have during our marriage so what would be the diffe…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 04:31 PM
7

Mine did the same. What’s hers is hers and what’s mine is hers. Yet I was the one who paid all the bills. She actually said a few times that I had no clue on how to do it or “where did all the money go?”, so I said, “You pay them!” She tried 2x but only paying like 3 of the bills each time and threw her hands up and said, “I can’t handle this! It’s too stressful, you do it!”
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 12:49 PM
7

Mine was done as well. I cohabited for the 1 year the process was going on but mainly cause we shared children. Did I get her anything for ANY anniversary, birthday, Mothers Day? Absolutely, unequivocally NO. She didn’t get me anything either. I WOULD take our kids out to buy her something to give her from THEM though if they didn’t want to make her something. I would periodically just take off when it was like Friday or Saturday nights after I made dinner for everyone in the house. I didn’t eat…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:51 PM
3

Shyte, mine said she wanted a divorce 4x and then finally filed. If she thinks I’m gonna be there forever, um no. I ONLY have to communicate with you and see you until the kids are 18, once they hit that, I’m out. I’m not bitter or vindictive about the divorce but after 15+ years of me trying and doing everything while she just “got bored”, nope, no reason to stay in contact at all.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 04:25 PM
3

Look, I’m all for kids being kids but even at 8yrs old, they NEED chores, structure and responsibility. Trust, if you knew what I had to endure for the 15+ years I was with my exwife and the three kids we had that I raised, you would know. I tried to do everything I’m telling you, as that’s how I was raised, like at 18 you should be MORE than self-sufficient. She took it I. The complete opposite direction and I gave up fighting g it’s now the kids act like dad is supposed to do EVERYTHING and th…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 03:16 PM
2

Each situation is different. Depending on the age, you could ask the older kids to step up and help do things. If they’re not old enough to do it on their own, then starting you to teach them responsibility is key. As for after school, well, it was different when we were kids because the schools started out as high school, middle school and then elementary school in start of day order. They got out in those times slots as well. Now, from what I am told, they flopped high school with elementary s…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 11:18 AM
5

Oh, it’s just another Social Media buzzword… much like how they love to always call the man a narcissist, lazy, etc. I actually saw a TT video before of a girl who was furious at her mother who divorced her dad because the mom alienated her from the dad saying he was a narcissist, selfish, etc but then when she reconnected with her dad, he was the complete opposite and how she realized the narc, selfish person was her mom and has since cut her mom out of her life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:36 AM
2

No, the “glow up” is funny because I’ve see some on TT that men respond to like, “So why couldn’t you look like that DURING the marriage if you did BEFORE and AFTER?” Then the amount of women who jump on the guys post is astounding blaming everything on him, her sacrificing her career so he could have his, etc etc.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:33 AM
4

And then they wonder why many men become negative or pessimistic…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:30 AM
6

You forgot to add at the divorce and over 40 how absolutely NOTHING is their fault for the marriage falling apart.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:29 AM
3

I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as the women’s one though, especially when there are some ladies who even post on this sub saying how bad the women’s one is. The only thing that I get a little annoyed at are some responses to questions that I think like go way overboard and most of the time are either just useless or so over the top, it’s ridiculous.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:26 AM
1

It probably has been being implemented because of the medical as well, being that a child can stay on the parents medical until 26. I know where I’m at (SE USA), they said CS is until 19. To which I said why 19? They said that’s when the state says you’re an adult. I said so why do you let them drive at 15, vote and buy guns at 18 then?
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 02:20 PM
7

Mine did the same. Many people we talked to don’t even say a word or look in my direction now. Even our two children are starting to act similarly because, as I found out she told them that “dad is being petty and has been petty through everything.”
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 11:13 AM
1

I think you meant that hot is super crazy!
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 03:09 PM
1

Well, she scheduled vacation that cuts into my time and I brought it up but I still said fine but that the time difference would make up for the vacation that I’m planning with the kids. We have an order that is 50/50 but the trip is not something that I can negotiate because of the type of trip (cruise). So all I asked is if we can swap weeks which would allow her to have them for two weeks straight upon our return and then we would go back to normal.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 10:20 AM
3

Damn, u have a friend who was essentially in the same spot.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 01:41 PM
1

I rarely wore mine because she rarely wore hers. She would tell me she couldn’t because of her job and I rebutted the same answer. I said I know military wives that wear their husband’s ring on a chain around their necks, why can’t you do the same? She said absolutely not. I kind of knew at that point where we stood and that was only like 3 years into a 16yr marriage. Now, my oldest daughter wears it around her neck on a chain that the exwife bought me as well. When she asked me for it, I asked …
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 01:00 PM
1

The ex is trying to just overwrite the memories of you in doing so. My therapist (psychiatrist and psychologists) all have said it’s usually because they’re not truly over that original person.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 02:27 PM
3

Dude, just ask your kids to go to another room when they talk to their mom so you don’t have to deal with it. It sucks but you’re divorced, she can do what with who she wants where she wants. IMHO, therapy may help if she still has this much control over you. I mean, I’m 6 months in and don’t think about my ex, don’t care what she does and as long as our kids are safe and taken care of, she can go do her thing g. Maybe it’s because, like many women say or do, I checked out of our marriage a LONG…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 02:57 PM
1

Dude, As others have said, stop with the alcohol. It’s going to lead to nothing good and she will probably use it against you in the divorce with the kids. Second, try to cut back the hours at work to like 40-45. This will allow for less time at work, more time for you and with your kids. Third, you can do what else others have said and you’ll find it’s the same rinse and repeat for every guy that posts on here. Ultimately YOU decide what’s best for you. Fourth, TBH, cut the sling load from your…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 12:57 PM
2

Dude, I was being sarcastic, just in case it wasn’t obvious. I did the same as you, aside from owning a business. The only difference is her friends and family told her she would be stupid to leave me and would regret it. But now they back her for whatever reason.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 12:13 AM
7

Stop it! There is no way you owned a business, were on call 24x7 and did 50% of the house work all the time, I mean, you could have at least pitched in the remaining 50% to equal 100% of the housework! You’re a slacker! Just playing. It’s weird, we can do it all and yet it still isn’t enough, what they want or done right. I’m convinced that it is a species that will NEVER be made happy, regardless of how the pendulum swings. And I mean that for the vast majority.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 05:44 PM
11

Dude, divorce is her happiness and the one that SHE was looking for. Too bad, so sad. She wants the house she “deserves” and the car she “deserves”, get a better paying job. That’s not your issue.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 09:35 PM
3

My friend had his exwifes best friend and some of her blood relatives try to hold her accountable and tell her she will be f’ing up if she divorced him. They stated multiple reasons why. She still did. He is happy. He, nor I, care about how his ex is doing. However, my friend says that from some of the people he still had conversations with after their divorce, they continue to say how she was stupid and it wasn’t my friend but her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 02:30 PM
4

I have found in the “marriage” or just about any other sub, it is just man-hating women, bashing men and men can never do right. Your mindset is more of a man, sorry if that offends you. Self reflection is damn near impossible for most modern women because society has taught them they do no wrong and it’s always a man’s fault. Why do you think it is this… “A man is taught from a young age how to treat a woman and what to do for a woman but never what to expect from a woman.” Have you ever wonder…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 04:23 PM
4

Thanks and I’m sorry that you’re now experiencing it. Be careful how you express what you said in your post though if you do to others because regardless of your orientation, you will have the label of a “pick me” thrown on you. What many men in society now have realized is exactly what you did, most women don’t know what accountability means and refuse to admit or acknowledge that anything they do is wrong. Many women want men to just be females in men’s bodies and it’s not ever going to work l…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 09:28 AM
1

It depends on the state laws how everything will be broken down. You can’t just take shyte out because you say you paid for everything, regardless of if you did. If you were never legally married, why would she need to file anything? I mean, if it’s just long-term boyfriend-girlfriend or what used to be “common law husband / wife”, most states don’t recognize that anymore. I remember back like 20 years ago, when. I lived in Texas, they would only recognize CL if either or both parties referred t…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 01:54 AM
1

Where do you live?
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 12:18 AM
1

Didn’t care about her birthday. I ONLY make sure that our kids buy her something that tops out at $50/each for her for each “celebration day”. Other than that…. IDGAFF!
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 11:46 PM
2

Dude, tbh, you probably will never know. Only way is to either get her to come clean or during discovery in a divorce to subpoena ALL financials going back 7 years, which I believe is the max. My exwife made good money and we had ZERO to show for it. I had all the debt, she had barely anything. Mine dwarfed hers by like 5-6x. I believe she was giving the money to her family and never asking for it to get paid back. Or using it for rendezvous with other men / couples but I will never know.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 12:10 AM
1

Um, if it was given as a gift, most states and judges will say it’s hers and the value doesn’t matter in the “equitable division of assets”, I believe.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 02:28 AM
2

My ex wanted the tracking on our 3 kids phones I pay for turned off. There are a few reasons why I said it needs to be left on. First, safety of the children. I. Today’s world, you never know what crazies are out there. I would rather be able to give authorities a starting point and direction if something was to happen, God forbid. Second, since they have Apple products, the Apple warranty is NOT covered if tracking / “Find My” is NOT enabled on the devices. Third, I BBM pay for the devices and …
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 09:46 PM
5

Keeping a marriage together for the kids never works out. You will do your thing and while she may change for a little, more often than not, it’s usually a return to the old ways and resentment. I was told, after doing that for about 16 of the 17 years being married, that when my oldest was in 3rd grade (now in 8th), all my exwife did was talk shyte to her about me. I wouldn’t reconcile or try again with her. You have the information and she is just furious that you do and potentially one day do…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 04:47 PM
2

Dude, focus on yourself and leave the ex and her new beau alone and out of your head. You concentrate on YOU and your TIME with your son. Thats ALL that matters, the TIME you spend with him and things you do WITH him. Money and toys, etc don’t mean didly considering he will be into some new shyte in like 6 months anyways. Go on trips with him, camping, teach him to fish, hunt, etc. make memories for HIM, make memories WITH HIM and make them for you as well. THOSE are what will mean more to him. …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 08:33 PM
12

If there are no kids and it won’t hurt the divorce, move out. As others said, she wanted it, she had fun and obviously someone had their fun with her and they dumped her. So now she wants to come back to old faithful who still has a hankering for her. If you show it then it will be. Let her go and as hard as it may be, let the feelings and idea of her go. She asked for the divorce and that’s obviously what she wants or she wouldn’t have said it. She’s stringing you along and you’re letting her. …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 10:25 AM
1

Some states have a law that says unless they are married, SOs can’t stay overnight. I know Alabama has one.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 06:41 PM
1

Nope, you’re not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 12:00 AM
6

Dude, my former stepchild did the same thing. As soon as the divorce started, she didn’t say a word to me and still doesn’t, which I’m fine with. I raised her from kinder through 23, or at least that’s how long I was around for. Her biological father wanted nothing to do with her. But TBH, now that the divorce is over and she still doesn’t, I’m not saddened by it. True colors were shown by all during the entire situation and now, I’m here for the children I share with my exwife. And to answer yo…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 05:48 PM
1

Look man, same situation as I was in. I never wanted the divorce, that was her. Should have thought about it a long while ago but I stayed because, like you, I have two daughters and I didn’t want them growing up without me or a two parent household. What did it do? I mean, I thought that the relationship was strong with the kids but now, not so sure as they are treating me the same way their mother used to. Do I let it change me, no. Hopefully one day, while I’m still vertical and above ground,…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 12:41 PM
1

Oh, I know
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 02:46 PM
1

Well, unless you go to meditation, that’s not going to be up for you to decide. And what’s mattering more, do not say anything like that. ANY divorce lawyer that knows what they are doing will tell you the same.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 02:46 PM
6

That depends on the state, as well as the location the recording took place in so you’re actually wrong on that more than likely. However, what he stated doesn’t sound like there’s anything that can be truly damaging to him or the case depending on how long they’ve been married because in most states, if it’s over 10 years, she’s probably getting half the retirement anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 02:55 AM
2

Sorry man, it seems that it is all they all are after. They try to take the kids away and if successful, they move onto the money. Cause they don’t need YOU but they dang sure need your wallet. Similar experience for a friend as he submitted a receipt for reimbursement to his ex for half of a $500 surgery, which she is required to pay after he covers medical from his salary at $500/biweekly. She covers NO insurance. She responds, “WTF, you a-hole! Oh, I will get my expenses reimbursed then!” And…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 01:40 AM
7

TBH, no real good way to put this… you’d be crazy to pay that much for a BA degree. The ROI is stupid and she won’t even make that much in like 5 years! Most states only require financial support until 18, maybe 19. I’d cut them off at that point or if I contributed, it would be for what I could afford and what I said was ok. Sounds like mom is living HER dream through your daughter so let your exwife pay for it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 02:20 AM
3

Cause college in the U.S. is STUPID expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 02:17 AM
1

Well thanks but I am told, you can probably wonder by whom, that I should listen and respect the boundaries that are being put in place and figure out why I won’t do as I am being asked because the teen will not do as they are being asked until I respect their boundaries and do what is being expected of me first…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 10:34 AM
2

I think you should say that you feel this is not in MY divorce. You start by saying it’s that they don’t feel safe. Then it changes to another reason of losing connection. SM plays a huge part in many if not most divorces and breakups now. Don’t fool yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 01:34 AM
1

Yours is opposite mine. I am always there for them and it’s never enough. Mom doesn’t like nothing and is golden while dad is the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 01:34 PM
1

Oh, I don’t have a problem reimbursing either. I wasn’t even asking for it if it was for $100 or less initially. Until I put up a bill for like $350 that she owed $175 for and she flipped and responded the way she did going all the way back to October last year for me to pay. Then I was like, ok, fine. I can match petty.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 01:33 PM
9

Dude, like you I was told to write a book. I kind of have a similar situation but rather than spend money on things the kids need or reimburse me for expenses, she seems to have money for vacations for her and the kids. When I asked for reimbursement for half a medical bill she went nuts. Then says she is going to submit the ones she has. So I said ok and paid them. And she did that, I went and submitted the ones from this year, came out to like $900. All the sudden she won’t pay because she say…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 12:55 PM
4

They probably do, we just aren’t there to see it cause we’re looking up or if we’re aren’t, we just want absolutely ZERO and sometimes NEGATIVE to do with them!
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 12:49 PM
1

Unless it is Student Loans. Those are not admissible in divorce as marital debt. That is solely the responsibility of the party that incurred it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 12:12 PM
1

Yeah, so back to the lawyer I go. She claims she discussed it with hers and she told her she doesn’t have to pay, can pay what she wants ants when she wants and I have to discuss all futures expenses with her prior to incurring them even though I have primary decision making authority. However, I bet she also didn’t tell her lawyer, IF she actually even did talk to her lawyer, that she submitted expenses that were 6 months old and I paid them to the tune of $600+. But it’s ok, back to the lawyer…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 10:37 AM
2

The problem I have with the OP statement is that he is 62… how in the world at 62 are you going to allow your mom to run you and your life to not reach out to your dad to that point? I mean, my mom divorced my dad when I was in 4th grade and I’m now almost 50. I haven’t spoken to my dad in 10 years because of other reasons. I have no desire to. But my mom sees and talks to him more than I do! Do I care, nope.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 10:53 PM
7

Many have tried and failed. Just about in ANY woman sub, to even include Marriage. It seems that misandry and feminism is the actual problem and not really misogyny. You can’t say anything that goes against their way of thinking because you will simply get skull dragged through a pit of hot lava. But it’s the men that’s the problem and have accountability issues. I even had an issue on a different sub, a CAR sub. Someone posted a picture of their vehicle in a parking lot taken as they walk into …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 10:51 AM
3

Kind of similar for me aside for the cheating. I mean, I have my suspicions that she did and others told me she was but I didn’t bother as I was too busying doing everything to raise our child AND HER child. She asked for a divorce twice but after the first time, my guard went up. After the second time, I just dngaff at all anymore. Our second child came and I should have filed for divorce at that point but I didn’t, why? Cause I didn’t want to have my kids grow up without a dad. However, now th…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:43 AM
5

I do the same, Christmas too. I give them a budget for each kid and holiday. I will until they can work. I suggest they make something because it’ll mean more, at least it does to me, but I know she will just throw it out. When they make their own money, I will remind them and that’s it. The reminders and sentiments are NOT and NEVER returned because, I believe, she feels it’s HER money and SHE is buying a gift for ME.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 11:26 PM
1

Didn’t or won’t your girlfriend testify to the fact that you didn’t do anything to the stbxw because she was there?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 09:51 PM
1

My state won’t let her move outside 50 miles unless approved by the court and it has to be approved that it is severely beneficial to the kid, NOT her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 08:30 PM
1

She can’t touch your benefits or the money. The ONLY thing that the money can be used for is child support calculations, IF you have children with her that ARE yours. I was in a similar situation, no DV but I know she tried, I just didn’t react. I’ve seen MANY non-military wives end up doing this to their men. It’s funny too, because when I was first stationed fulltime AD Army, we were warned by the BOSS NCOIC about women like this in the local area. They tried to get you to get them pregnant be…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 08:20 PM
1

Pretty sure that happens after the honeymoon phase is over… definitely happens after kids or 30/35 years of age (her)
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 12:22 PM
1

I think you meant “Know this, now leave it”…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 11:37 PM
1

If he go tenured as a professor in college, he will make a good amount of money depending on the college and classes taught. I was going to do the same by my exwife never supported me for it although I supported her through TWO degrees. I switched though and am looking at a JD instead of PhD.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 11:36 PM
1

You MAY be able to say that happened PRIOR to the marriage but they may get you on “community benefit” for it and make you pay. Students are NOT equitable property/debt in a divorce so it’s ALL on her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 06:08 PM
3

Dude, a woman an wake up just “not feeling the marriage” today and file for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 06:07 PM
3

Bro, kids and that’s it. STOP communicating with her about her family, dates or ANYTHING that does NOT pertain to your kids with her. All she is doing is stringing you along in case she doesn’t find someone better. BE BETTER!! BUT, I don’t mean be better FOR her. Do it for yourself and someone NEW.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 01:56 PM
1

I would buy but wait until everything is finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 04:29 PM
3

My ex got mad cause when we finalized ours, I was told by my lawyer and the mediator that expenses for things like medical can be split 50/50, even though I cover medical (minus dental) for our kids. So I took the kids to the dentist and paid $350 out of pocket. I sent her the bill and she promptly ripped me apart for asking her to cover half. Now she nickel and dines me for everything. I mean like a $40 ticket to a school event; it’s stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 04:22 PM
1

Yes, there are detectors for WiFi, bugs and hidden cameras but usually if you shine a light into what is normally dark areas, you’ll see them (ie: vents and stuff)
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 11:35 PM
6

Check the laws in your state. Many don’t allow for hidden cameras. They do allow for cameras to be in common areas but NOT hidden.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 11:00 AM
1

I’ve NEVER seen 5 come true for making another man be on the hook to support a child that isn’t his if he was to remarry and then get a divorce again.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 10:48 AM
2

That’s how I’m looking at it. She spent $40 on a dance ticket and kicked it to make me pay half. So how, I’m like, ok fine, EVERY single time they go to the doctor and I have the $30.00 copay, I will submit that. I will submit for the $5.00 I pay for medication.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 10:45 AM
-2

No, it IS agreed on when you give me decision making authority the kids. It’s just not my fault that HER lawyer didn’t explain everything to her like MINE did AND the divorce agreement clearly states. The difference, as I said, is I’m not petty to submit for things less than $100.00. I’m the one who takes them to the doctors and I won’t submit for her to pay have the copay for each office visit but apparently she feels the need to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 10:42 AM
4

How dare you say that! It’s us men that are that way to include narcissistic! And don’t you forget that! (Says almost every divorced female and most women)
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 04:47 PM
11

My mom kept her ex-husbands last name due to it being a hassle to get everything changed again (her 3rd marriage). Who cares if she wants to keep it or not? If she keeps it, to me, if she wanted the divorce and keeps it, it’s a reminder every single time she sees it of you… which is kind of funny.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 03:02 PM
2

When we went through ours, mine didn’t contribute for the last four months we lived together because she was paying her lawyer and saving for rent on an apartment and furnishing it. I had to take a loan against my 401k to just get somewhat back I. The black!
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 02:48 AM
8

I’m going to try to be nice with this and just say … Stop. Not that I’m saying YOU specifically are doing this but I’m tired of excuses that mental health professionals (which is dominated by women) and society makes for pretty much every action and reaction that a woman has to ANYTHING be it positive or negative in her life. While they sit there and chastise men for just about everything and won’t make an excuse for him, because they’re not allowed. Just my 2 cents
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 02:33 AM
2

I think ONE party does for the most part but society and others influencing the other party that does MOT usually realize it is the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 08:10 PM
4

Nope, never again. My friends keep joking about it but it’s starting to not really feel or be like a joke to me. They keep saying how I will get back with my exwife which will NEVER, EVER happen. Or I will meet someone and marry. I told them IF I was to meet someone and marry, she would have to be like Jessica Alba, Sarah Michelle Gellar or someone like that and we all know people like that don’t really hang out with, date, let alone marry anyone who isn’t their equal.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 07:34 PM
6

Says she was 28, if I read it correctly. But then again, after hearing many women that age talk and act, speaking with my former stepdaughter and hearing how she was with the man she was with, I understand. Many appear VERY selfish. I heard my former stepdaughter saying how she will beat the shyte out of her man or any man if they don’t treat her right, if they don’t do what she wants, etc etc. how she says that SHE will run the house, finances and any and all decisions will end with what SHE sa…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 05:13 PM
2

Just gray rock her man and only talk to her if you have kids, which should be the only reason. So easy to block people on Reddit, make your posts hidden, bloc her number(s). As for the cameras, if they’re in your house remove them and change the locks. In the state that I live in, you can have cameras up inside homes but not in private areas (bedroom and bathroom), you can leave them on but ONLY if they were already established and the other party knew about them.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 10:35 PM
3

Depends. When my ex and I divorced, we had it in our decree that even though BOTH our names were on the loans, she was responsible for HER car payment and ME for mine. Also says in ours that I cannot deny signing the title and neither can she.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:58 PM
1

Dude , just worry about your daughters. If you find another woman down the road let it happen on its own.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 11:14 PM
2

Why? Most courts aren’t going to look at that. They go by what is in discovery and most counties and states are requiring mediation now because of backlog with so many divorces. All he would have to do is make us profile private so you can’t see what he posts and it would require a subpoena from court to Reddit to get them. There’s no judge that will authorize that unless they show probably cause and reason for it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 11:12 PM
2

So you have two sources of income right now. I would say try a consolidation loan? See what happens and you can either do the snowball method or avalanche method to get rid of it. Depends on how you want to see your biggest bang for the buck.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 03:10 PM
3

My daughters say that to me but they learned it from my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 03:04 PM
2

Do you have anything in TSP, you can take an early withdrawal and just take a penalty of 10% for that if it helps. Otherwise, depending on your rating, I’m not sure outside of a personal loan to consolidate the to a single payment and interest level.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 12:54 AM
3

My mom kept her 3rd husbands last name because she said she just couldn’t be bothered sending in all the paperwork to every government agency and company to have new shyte issued.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 05:38 PM
1

Yeah, I would be fighting that whole thing for 50/50 at least AND adding in the inability of taking the kids out of state to reside. Show that they are established in school where you are at, with friends, etc and see if you can get the judge to agree.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 07:29 PM
2

Sorry man, that sucks. I would go file quickly and make sure that you have proof that he took the refund into an account that you don’t have access to. I mean, you’re not a stranger to the process so for lack of better ways to say it, that’s not a bad thing. But the financials during discovery should at least show this information and you should be entitled to at least half of the refund you got this year.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 07:26 PM
0

You’re right. You win. You know all. I wish I could be as smart as you one day and just know everything.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 06:26 PM
1

Ok, did I say law? I specifically stated in the state I live in, the standard parenting plan that is issued by the family court system has a clause in it prohibiting either parent from moving an SO into the house or even staying overnight until they are married. It isn’t a LAW passed in the state, it is a court order that’s unless you choose to modify, is in place during and after the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 06:24 PM
-1

Look, I don’t care what it is. I simply stated what is in the documents within the state I live in. Please stop with the “constitutional right” nonsense, I would love to see where in the U.S. Constitution or State Constitution is says, “A person has the right to shack up with whoever they choose.” Proof, easy. “Your honor, our children who are here in the courtroom will testify and state to the court that their mom/dad have a live-in SO who they have heard the actions of fornication through the …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:59 PM
3

Don’t you just love how all the people who have never been through a divorce seem to know everything about it and tell you everything to do and not do when going through it and after it? These are usually the same people, when you look at it. Who are actually in miserable and unhappy marriages that SHOULD be divorced, some who should NEVER have been married or have kids either.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 12:09 PM
0

Did I say that? I said CHECK YOUR STATE.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 12:07 PM
1

You may want to look into the laws of your state. In the state that I live , the standard parenting plan states that neither parent can move an SO into the house or even have them stay the night if they are NOT married, especially if the two are intimate. It is for the protection of the children.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 10:50 AM
9

Dude, I was the same. DB for 14 of the 20 years. I would initiate and she would pull away or give me some other excuse. Then when I wouldn’t, she would complain. I just gave up. Come to find out, I had a like 99.998% gut feeling that she was cheating based on actions that were going on and things being said by her and others. I gave up. She threatened divorce but it was a way of control. The last time she said it, I just said fine go file and walked away from her. She wasn’t going to change, EVE…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 08:09 PM
2

Then he should have texted her FIRST when the kids were with him, THEN told the kids after he sent the text.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 03:53 PM
6

Nope, I’m already giving up a week of my time with them. It is not fair to ask me to help also pay for the trip. (Especially if she is NOT willing to say they can stay with YOU for two weeks giving up a week of her time, and potentially pay for a trip of equal cost)
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 03:39 PM
3

I can agree but I can disagree on your stance. It all depends on THEIR relationship, how the divorce went and how their co-parenting situation has been going during and since the finalizing of the divorce. Would she extend him the same courtesy if it was the other way around? Have they been co-parenting peacefully or has it been more of a HC situation?
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 11:55 AM
5

Just a simple question… if you’ve already told your children, do you not think they haven’t already told her if you’re on Reddit telling us here that you’re going to send your exwife a text about the engagement? I mean, unless the kids are with you and have absolutely ZERO contact with your exwife the entire time, but I think that’s highly unlikely.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 11:42 AM
1

If your decree states that you alternate kids or whatever, then fine. Otherwise, no.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 02:03 AM
14

I think it’s complete and utter bs as well. They get all types of excuses from like age 10 through 70 for how they can act and get away with it. My exwife and I got into arguments about it numerous times. I was like, “You get a week, each of our daughters get a week. That’s three weeks. Can I get the last week of the month to say ‘I’m testosteroning! Leave me the f alone!’?” Her response was no and that guys have ther mid life crisis. I was like, “yeah, that is usually buying a Harley or a vette…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 06:06 PM
1

I have 50/50 and usually don’t ask for copays for like regular doctor visits cause it’s only $30. But our daughter was just in the ER and I had to pay $350.00 for that, aside from whatever the insurance doesn’t cover (insurance is paid by me). So yes, on the ER visit, I will ask for half. She will probably not like it but I also need $3,000 in repairs on my vehicle so….
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 11:36 PM
1

Yeah, don’t get me started on how they get half the retirement that was made during the marriage. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous and needs to stop. They don’t contribute to it at all (usually) and should not be entitled to it at all. In my case, the ONLY reason why we kept ourselves out of bankruptcy is because I was able to take out loans against my retirement and then take more money out of my paycheck to pay it back. She didn’t help pay that either, although she benefited greatly from the…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 10:40 PM
1

Nah, not in today’s day and age. Why get a job when you can milk the ex for everything though you don’t want to be with them, however their money is good enough to support you. All while she goes out and gets with some other guy? TBH, in 20 years, with or without kids, there’s no reason for her to get a job unless he’s making like $300k/yr+. And that’s lowballing. If SHE chose to stay home and do nothing, that’s on her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:46 PM
2

If you have n attorney, why are you NOT having your attorney say, “Use this mediator!” It is likely they know ALL the mediating attorneys in the area and how good or bad they are. Your attorney should also be advising you to NOT discuss anything with her about it either. All communication regarding the separation should be going through the attorney AND IF it goes directly to you should be in email.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:43 PM
4

My friend had the same thing happen to him and still has it happen. He divorced like 12 years ago when the kids were I. Like elementary school and now they’re 20, I think. They only go to him for money to buy things because their mom says she has none, even though he was giving her like $3200/month in CS. The words they use towards him and the sayings are exactly what she would say to him but she says she doesn’t manipulate and that he is narcissistic…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 10:48 AM
1

Understand but if you look at Reddit subs and thinks posted on other social media sites, you will tend to see it’s not necessarily a broad statement. It’s quite polar opposite when a man does something versus a woman. He cheats and he’s a dog, scumbag, she doesn’t deserve that. When she cheats, it’s what did he do to make her cheat, you go girl, get you toes. Same in divorce. You don’t see rich women making poor men rich, what you DO see is rich making poor women rich. And when it comes to child…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 04:22 AM
11

So there’s partial truth in that from what I’ve seen. Men at 40+ and men who are divorced don’t want to deal with drama, lies and bullshit. Many of the women of the same age, well to put it frankly, are simply that. If they haven’t jumped on that train you are speaking of (modern day feminism, the boss-babe mindset, the disrespect shown towards men yet want everything they can get from them aside from showing appreciation, affection and being and bringing them peace). Going for a younger lady wh…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 09:01 PM
1

You may want to check on that because I searched it and that is not how the law reads. It reads similar to my current state, Alabama. You cannot hide recording devices and have to be present but audio/video in common areas is perfectly fine. In Alabama, I had to essentially just argue that the cameras were up inside the house well before the divorce and she knew that and never said take the down or anything. However they are only in common areas (living room, kitchen, etc) and NOT in bedrooms or…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 02:32 AM
2

Yeah. At one point, a girl I knew and considered a little sister (no relation) was murdered. She ended up pressing me about it and I told her why I was sad / upset. The response I got was, “I didn’t know you still cared about her like that?” I was like WTFH, AYKM! She then told me that her still being in love with her kids father is different because she had a kid with him and she will always love him. I was completely dumbfounded.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 02:26 AM
6

Unpopular opinion… alimony, spousal support, child support (unless proven to be a DBD) and taking of half the 401k needs to be federally coded and taken away from states making the decision OR write it into tax code that NEVER changes where it is taxed federally by like 50% by the recipient.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 02:21 AM
3

Oh, some lady tried to argue with me that Bezos’ exwife made the millions that she has with him running the company alongside him. She was like, “They started it off a loan from her parents.” I responded, “I bet he’s paid her and her parents numerous times OVER what he was lent too. She shouldn’t have gotten what she got I. That divorce when she didn’t do day to day ops of it. Sorry”
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 02:15 AM
4

Same. I supported my ex through two college degrees, the military and in her career. Everything she wanted in her life, she pretty much got. But I feel that she had so much resentment for me that a lot of what she wanted, I accomplished like everything she wanted before we were married because we were brought up different and made different choices in life. It got to the point where even though I did everything she wanted and gave her everything that she asked for, it was never going to make her…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 10:51 AM
1

What state is that? Didn’t know of any that will just let you record without some acknowledgement of at least one party being there present.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 04:11 AM
2

Why did the therapist say she can’t threaten divorce? I’m not defending her, but she can say what she wants. I had my ex threaten divorce twice before I had my exwife tell me twice she wanted a divorce and she came back both times with some reason for not wanting it. Both times, I feel that all it was really was a way for me to essentially ‘change’ and come groveling back to her giving her control over me and the entire relationship, every aspect of it. The third time she told me, I told her, “F…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 12:20 AM
1

I would treat her like a queen. She is a roommate at this point and just keep it casual for the kids, depending on their ages. As far as recording devices, it’s illegal in most states to record audio without consent of at least one party. Even if she wants to say, “I consented,” does not allow her to say that and leave the room. Usually the law means that she MUST be PRESENT in the room to record. Now the caveat to that in most states is that you can put cameras inside the house in common areas …
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 12:15 AM
1

You and a good portion of men in the world, mainly modern western world. Saw a video where they said they interviewed like 3,000 men and 3,000 women asking them would they rather account for their action or be incarcerated? 94.7% (if I remember correctly) of women said they would rather be incarcerated versus be held accountable. Whereas 11% of men said they’d rather be incarcerated.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 02:39 PM
3

No, because as we know most women in the world today do not understand the definition of the word accountability. All they do is blame men or a man for all their problems.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 11:19 AM
1

Maybe not but YOU get paid by having that house, the car and all that you speak of. If you don’t like it, leave him. Do everything on and for yourself. It seems to be the trend now anyways. While also a trend though, the amount of women who seemingly make TikToks and say how it was NOT a good decision to leave their marriage because they are miserable and struggling while their ex husband is thriving. All while he either does everything himself OR pays for it to be done and STILL has money.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 11:18 AM
2

No, they don’t “work” 24x7, stop with the madness already. This has been disproven numerous times. And, not only that, but why is it that a SAHD can seem to get everything done within 4hrs on average that a SAHM claims is “all day”? A lot of the “labor” and “mental load” is manufactured BS and has been proven many times over.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 11:15 AM
1

Just a question, if you’re looking to just break even on the sale of the house and it’s been up for a year, why not look at like selling it to an investor? I mean like Zillow or some other company that will just buy it?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 10:32 AM
1

Ok, so first off I wouldn’t sell the house that you’re in. Downing on what you want to do and how you want to play it, it could work in your favor. She bought it when you were / are still married so I would let her close on it because it becomes a marital asset in the divorce proceedings. My exwife did the same but never went through with the entire purchase. We went to court about it. My lawyer said something in front of the judge and her lawyer, her lawyer denied it to the judge but when she w…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 09:58 PM
4

I have heard that some people put requirements or stipulations in the parenting plan or custody agreement about how soon after you can introduce a child to a new partner on either side, how it can go as far as intimacy, moving in, etc. some states even have laws about it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 12:19 AM
3

I never cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 09:04 PM
8

Everything tbh.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 08:42 PM
1

Dude, that’s just how divorce court is. It’s all lies and bullshyte and they don’t need proof to substantiate ANY of it. YOU need the proof to show how you’re innocent. Family law and divorce court is the complete opposite of the “normal U.S. legal system”, being that it is the man is guilty until he proves his innocence.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 10:54 PM
3

Dude, like these women all on the dating apps and stuff being so dramatic and coming up with all these stories. I’m not even on them, just watch some videos on TT, and I get requests to talk all the time and all they do is ask for pictures, we talk and then they beg for money then when I say no it’s “broke ass”. It’s so laughable after they’re all like “I’m a model, etc etc” the entire string scene now is trash and I wouldn’t even bother tbh with you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 02:52 PM
3

Well, what is “cross”? Your wife cannot tell you that you in the house. Is your name on it? She would have to at least get a TRO against you to tell you that you cannot stay in the house.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 01:24 AM
2

Because it’s a business and the lawyers and judges don’t care. They’re in it for the money.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 01:22 AM
1

I know, I just helped. Sorry
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 01:07 AM
3

The age of your son is going to be difficult to prove it’s alienation, imho. You can put up security cameras in the house in the common areas but that’s about all you can do. Due to his age, the courts will probably automatically lean towards your wife being the primary custodian . Now if he was older and could speak, things he may say could prove the alienation.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 01:07 AM
1

They are saying that a judge won’t make you pay if you don’t have a job which is wrong. If you held a job and all the sudden decided you didn’t want to work to try to get out of child support or alimony, a judge can still require you to pay. Many states are doing it where if you had a job and all the sudden found it “convenient” to become unemployed due to a divorce to get out of either, many are looking at the job you have had and the average income in the area and finding against you. Or you w…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 09:55 PM
13

Most states don’t care anymore. If they were working prior to the divorce, they ask for up to 5years of W2/1099s and look at the average yearly salary plus the average salary in the local area. They end up going with that because they have realized that many of either one or both parties do this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 11:46 PM
3

I know someone who hid $250k and is going after the husband for half his retirement, VA disability, 401k, SSS, child support AND now alimony because they claim they were laid off. Many FCJs now have gotten wise to that, where one spouse suddenly quits their job during divorce and it does NOT fly. So they ask for 5 pervious years of W2/1099s and then find the average salary in the local area and say, “Well, this is how much the AVERAGE you make/made/came make/will make is so that what we are goin…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 02:19 AM
2

Um, you put two words in the same sentence I’ve never seen before.can you spot them and honestly NOT laugh?
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 02:16 AM
2

Depends on the law. If his state is a one-party consent state, it will work. If not, he is screwed. And for the OP, her parents will NOT side with you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 03:40 AM
1

You realize that while that’s good advice, much of that cannot be done in most states. Where I’m at, the law stipulates about 80-90% of what you put in this response, I CANNOT DO or I would be in contempt of court and probably jailed or hefty fines for doing so.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 03:38 AM
1

Then you should be g2g.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 07:17 PM
3

I would say that I hope you are documenting all of this along with possible audio / video? I would also say that in order for her to say supervised visits after leaving them in your care for days UNSUPERVISED, she would have to have documented evidence as to reasons why that would support this request.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 11:30 PM
1

I hear that most judges are throwing out prenups regardless of how ironclad they are.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 03:00 PM
4

Some say it is to control the process and narrative. Like everyone seems to listen to the one who files first because they get to play the victim most of the time (guess who that’s aimed at).
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 05:45 PM
6

It’s your call. Personally, I’m not sure about either for me as it would have to be serious with her to do so. Kids I’m not sure about either just because at 40-45, it’s like 60ish by the time they graduate high school which could be rough depending on your health.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 11:54 AM
2

Dude, I’m the same way. I don’t care. Don’t plan on dating and don’t need to. Rather just have my peace, raise my daughters to be much better than I can and teach them what to actually do and not do should they want to marry or get into a relationship with a man. If they do, I will teach them how to actually treat him, what to do right and wrong at least from a man’s perspective and to not just think what to expect from him. To be his peace, essentially a woman with traditional values and morals…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 04:38 PM
3

Men don’t gain shyte from marriage aside from kids. And then in divorce, she usually gets them or takes them. Other than that, as soon as a ring goes on her finger, all is lost for him. He stands to gain nothing with most modern women.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 04:32 PM
9

Yep, I feel you 1,000%! And most women say how they should benefit cause “they suffered”. To me, you shouldn’t get any of the retirement, you didn’t pay into it, the person working did. If she works and has one, you didn’t pay into hers, why should you get hers? I can see only ONE instance where I can say “ok” to this and that would be in the military when you’re moved around every like 3-5years and the spouse doesn’t have the ability to have a career. Fine, then give them a portion but NOT 50%.…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 04:00 PM
3

Well, at least y’all are telling them! Mine told our eldest “a proposal for divorce was made”…. EVERY therapist and psychiatrist I have said that was HER placing blame clearly on ME which is probably why BOTH my kids hate me now. Aside from her using her older daughter to triangulate on me to divide them from me as well.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:04 AM
2

Dude, you sound like you lived a parallel life as mine!
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 05:20 PM
1

While I agree with most of this, the only thing I wouldn’t agree with is the conduct all communication through your lawyer. Unless you have unlimited funds, don’t. They bill for EVERY little thing and EVERY time you reach out to them. I would either text her or email her what you have to say. Do NOT make it emotional, do not make it rude. If you have kids, make it about the kids ONLY. Keep it 1000% CIVIL. That way it’s documented and ONLY bring it to your lawyer when it becomes a problem or if y…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 11:55 AM
1

Doesn’t matter about the job, most states allow for a repetition on child support after 1yr so you’ll be screwed either way.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 11:52 AM
2

Same situation man. Mine outright refused counseling and listens to all of her toxic family about everything and her friends. I don’t care. The divorce is proceeding and I’m fine with it. I only regret about it or loss is that our kids will grow up with two separate houses rather than one with two loving parents under a single roof. One parent actually loves them, one parent loves the idea of them because they believe they will be able to cash in on them in a divorce… I will allow the readers to…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 11:51 AM
4

Mine asked so I told her go file. She then said, “you’re not going to fight or argue me on this?” I said no but I poured out to her how I’ve been feeling and she didn’t care at all. She has been very cold towards me since, acting very petty, childish and vindictive but accusing me of acting that way but she’s been doing everything the same that she was during the marriage so I don’t understand her reasoning or logic in it. I’m only fighting for our kids and what I think is right by them and with…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 03:24 PM
3

Talk to your lawyer and see if you can get her evaluated for NPD. If you have proof she may have traits of it and she is found to have it, it may work in your favor.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 12:20 PM
1

I am. That’s how I treat her. Just don’t like how she’s alienating my children and taught my kids to like not even acknowledge their dad’s birthday. That’s what bothers me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 12:19 PM
5

Your situation sounds like mine. I did everything, she did nothing. Mine cheated and she knows she did, she just won’t admit to it. She walked away and we’re going through a nasty divorce right now and she’s pinning everything on me trying to say I’m the horrible person all while through the entire 20yrs she would say she put in MAYBE5% and I put in all the rest, I’m a great husband and great father, etc etc. now I’m the biggest POS ever and she’s the model wife and mother. I see no lesson aside…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 12:16 PM
1

That’s what mine wants. She gets them during the week and I get them on the weekends so I can’t go out but she can. OR she said that she gets to move out of state to go be near her family, who will then help her raise my kids and I can come visit on the weekends.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 07:29 PM
1

Oh, ok. No worries. I was thinking that’s what you were saying but just wanted to make sure. I’m all about people proving the common narrative wrong, just stated what I see and hear what the narrative is.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 01:19 PM
2

You trying to knock it down on my account? Or are you just stating something different? Because what I stated is pretty much just what is expected to happen. Not that that’s what actually happens all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 12:26 PM
27

Because dads are supposed to be allowed to and NOT frowned upon being replaced in society today because it’s all about the woman doing better for herself. Whereas the dad is supposed to continue to be the POS that the ex wife makes him out to be and stay in the gutter, barely surviving so she can tell the kids, “Look at what an f-up you dad is and how great your stepdad is. He raised you. I wish he was your actual dad.” While she also says to herself, “I did so much better the second time around…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 10:14 AM
1

Nope, you’re not alone. I’m tired of it too. Getting real f’ing tired of it. Like I have a shitload of evidence to show it and if this judge is all like, “Well, ya know, she tried but you just weren’t really giving her anything to work with.” I’m go just sit there like, “WTF!” In my head!
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 01:30 AM
1

Mine just fills the kids head with bad things about me but apparently that’s NOT parental alienation, it is that but just in my head and not in real life. We still live together so that causes an even bigger issue because I have no issues saying things like, “Good Morning, hello, etc” or being in the same room. She downright refuses. Won’t even eat the food I make or buy either, apparently just because it’s stuff I bought and cooked.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 09:01 PM
5

Dude, that’s EVERY DAY with my stbxw! Apparently I am the ONLY one who has to communicate, put things on calendars, give time to show up / schedule appointments, etc etc. she doesn’t communicate with me. She just does what she wants and I find out after the fact. Or she uses the kids as mediums to communicate. But as I e said in other posts, I’m the petty, vindictive child according to her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 08:58 PM
2

Mine did the same. She never wanted to work on it. No effort on her part, no therapy, nothing. She blamed / blames me for everything as well. I know the truth and hopefully our kids do as well.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 05:12 PM
2

Because misery loves company and the women are miserable. They glam it up to the married women about they are free to do whatever and all but if you see, many don’t end up happy and regret it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 05:11 PM
2

Yep, like 80%+ of my “friends” abandoned me when either I told them or she told them she asked me for a divorce. I don’t care, I don’t need people like that in my life and obviously you show me your true colors. I say regardless of how it appears she may be acting, I wouldn’t say the intentions a pure. Mine said she didn’t want to have the divorce affect our kids or have it do as little as possible, but it’s dividing the kids horribly as she is using them as messengers between us and I refuse to…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 03:23 PM
3

It would depend on what days you’re talking. If it’s pickup on Sunday, I would say AM if you’re religious folk and go to church. Child expenses should be split on what you need when they’re at your house, you buy and when they’re with her, she buys. If it’s extra activities, it should be 50/50 split to pay equally. Or if you pay one at $200, the. She pays equally one at $200. If you’re paying alimony AND CS, the burden for extra activities should not solely be placed on you as well. (This is wha…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 12:03 PM
1

That’s the BS that she fed our oldest kid but then that’s NOT what’s happening. She’s purposely making it impact them and alienating them from me and everything. She’s even putting them as messengers because she refuses to say anything to me in any communication method unless it’s through her lawyer but says I’m the one who wants to run to my lawyer for everything.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 11:07 AM
1

I did do it for my kids for her birthday and Mother’s Day. What’s upsetting to me is that she is a hypocrite and is saying I’m being the petty, petulant, vindictive child in this divorce because I won’t just go and give her everything she wants but doesn’t even tell our kids that they should just verbally tell their dad “happy birthday”.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 11:03 AM
1

That has nothing to do with it. You’re hurting me and being vindictive towards me cause you’re not getting your way in the divorce by alienating our kids and NOT telling our kids it’s their dad’s birthday to purposely hurt him. That’s the problem. I honestly do not give two flying shares about how she sees me anymore and haven’t for a long while. I know me, my self worth and who I am, as well as my value. I don’t need to look to her for that and haven’t been for years. For over a decade we have …
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:58 AM
1

No, didn’t think about Fathers Day yet. I may just take them bowling/roller skating or to a movie and dinner. We will see. I don’t expect a gift for Fathers Day, my two daughters are my gift that’s all I need. And I didn’t need anything for my birthday, just a “Happy Birthday dad!” Would have been nice.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:56 AM
1

I did it to honestly be able to have the kids give her something because o wasn’t going to let the kids just have her day go by without recognition. I also did it to show my kids that I am the bigger person and an actual adult, not a bitter child. I wasn’t doing it in the hopes of reciprocal behavior from her but to like NOT tell your kids it’s their dad’s birthday so the KIDS can at least SAY, “Happy Birthday dad!” Is beyond excusable.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:53 AM
1

You know what’s also funny about that… SHE is the one saying I’m the petty, petulant child who is being vindictive during this whole thing.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:49 AM
1

That’s already being done by giving her the divorce that she wants. Looking back at all that’s gone on, I don’t even think it’s really ever been a marriage; more like roommates with rings.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:48 AM
1

Well, yes. But my kids will never be a mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:46 AM
1

That’s all I am doing. Everything is and has been for them for years. Like the last 10+ years! And it will continue that way until the youngest graduates high school. Then it’s zero contact with her. This state even has laws that apparently only apply to me and not to her, weird huh? Cause it doesn’t say that in the law, divorce papers, decree or anything…like it doesn’t say, “the following only applies to the man and NOT the woman”… so she goes and does what she wants but runs to her lawyer if …
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:37 AM
2

I only give the kids money to get her something. I don’t buy her anything. She isn’t mine so it’s not my responsibility. She is now the property of another woman apparently from the video chat conversation I was able to catch her on the other night so I do not really care. My only point is or was the simple fact that she said she wanted this whole thing to affect the kids as little as possible, blah blah blah… yet you purposely didn’t tell the kids it was their dads birthday AND you purposely di…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:34 AM
1

Oh, I know. I just hate being the bigger person and the mature adult all the dang time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:31 AM
2

Some states require it as they feel everything gets settled in mediation rather than court as well.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 11:58 AM
5

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t buy her anything from me. I only gave the kids money to buy her a gift from them and it was only like $50 for each of them to buy her something. So to me, it wasn’t anything big. I didn’t buy her anything and I won’t be, ever. I just think that it’s really fubar to like NOT have our kids go and even SAY “Happy Birthday Daddy!”, when you’ve been together for 20 years!
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 03:27 AM
3

I’m not being her husband. I haven’t been in a long while. I have been her roommate for years. I have been just taking care of me and our kids, that’s it. I was just waiting for the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 02:54 AM
3

I do treat her that way. I realize how she is now and aside from my two beautiful kids, I truly wish we never got married.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 02:53 AM
1

She is already doing that with the help of her eldest daughter who I helped raise as well. I’m know she doesn’t care about me. I’m just laughing cause it’s like SHE was the one who claims that I am the petty, petulant child who is being vindictive in this whole thing. I actually took the kids out and used MY disability money to give them so they could get her something for her birthday and told them that day X was her birthday so make sure they wished her a Happy Birthday. Even when they neighbo…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 02:52 AM
10

Yeah, mine has been hitting the gym daily since she filed.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 12:06 PM
3

Yeah, I have heard that F. And DV are guilty until proven innocent whereas the regular judicial system is innocent until proven guilty.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 12:04 PM
3

I know someone who moved a relative into their house while going through a divorce and the law in their state clearly says that both parties have to agree to it or a court order has to say that it has to be done. None of which was the case for the situation as I am told. Now my friend is fighting in court with documented evidence showing it was never visit but a permanent move of the relative to be in the house and that was always the intention of the other party. Don’t know why they have to fig…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 07:24 PM
3

Just go file man. Seek custody of the kids and be done with her. 2025 seems to be the year for women ending relationships with their spouses/fiancé’s/boyfriends from all I’m seeing on Reddit and all over SM anyways. Just drop her and set your sights on a better life for you and your children. Neither you, nor your children especially deserve it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 05:19 PM
1

Or you could live in a state like mine who doesn’t take it into consideration even if they WERE to tell the judge. Apparently ONLY the judge knows what is best for kids and a situation they know nothing about.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 02:52 PM
3

Min started burning incense all the sudden yesterday too.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 02:49 PM
3

Yeah, depends on the bank though. But when you’re coming after EVERYTHING of mine AND trying to take my kids away, I’m gonna fight with everything I can, especially when I know you’ve skimmed $250k+ to set yourself up good when it’s over. I mean, it should be good with just the W2, 1099s and taxes but I want to show the judge that she’s not telling the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 02:09 AM
2

Subpoena the bank that the accounts are at. That’s what we are doing. Not even asking the stbxw. I showed my attorney how she made over $500k and had only provided about $245k to the family joint account for bills so I know she’s got money hidden someplace. I showed her the taxes which displayed the money she made and what I made so now my lawyer is pissed. Mine has lied on court sworn statements and we have the proof to show it. So this will be great when we show how she essentially embezzled m…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 05:18 PM
5

Dude, most of your situation sounds like mine! My wife was absent completely from raising HER daughter and then our two kids. One went into the hospital at 18months old and could have died. I took her and my coworkers came the next day to bring my vehicle from the hospital we were at originally to the children’s specialty hospital in the afternoon, she was NOWHERE to be found! Why? Apparently in 2012 there was no such thing as email or phones to just send emails to your college professors tellin…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 05:07 PM
3

Don’t plan on it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 09:56 AM
4

Dude, you’re in pretty much the same spot I am. Mine planned for this divorce though since before we moved from the other state we lived in. Now I’m pissed because my lawyer is like asking me to concede everything that she wants too! I’m just like sitting here thinking whose side are you on? I’ve already gone through two lawyers so I can’t switch again because I can’t afford it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 04:36 PM
10

They tend to give everyone else “advice” but don’t live by what they spit.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 01:03 PM
1

I’ve already been through two.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 11:12 PM
1

It’s a standing order that goes with every divorce in this state. It applies to use equally. But it seems that it only applies to ME and not to her because when I do something (ie: buy a book for our kids that cost like $10.00 each), she runs to her lawyer saying I’m violating the order and trying to buy my kids to side with me. But she can spend $350+ on dining out, clothes that aren’t necessary, makeup for a kid under 10, NOT communicating anything directly towards me, telling me I will take a…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 10:04 PM
1

My stbxw is the same way. She will NOT go to therapy, doesn’t believe in it. She thinks everything just gets talked about and stays within the family (ONLY one family though, NOT both). I’m told she is going around telling people that she has tried to get me to go to therapy but is saying to them that I downright refuse to go and have been refusing for years. What’s weird about that though? I’ve been in therapy BECAUSE of her since 2012 and have the records to prove it. I’ve asked her to go, she…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 11:42 AM
3

Mom is alienating you and speaking poorly of you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 09:13 PM
0

Don’t try to understand it. It’s women logic and women math. Mine is doing the same thing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 01:58 PM
2

Yeah, they all used to think and see how great of a husband I was and father, now they all seem to think I’m a POS because of her bs and lies.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 10:25 AM
3

Oh, ok. Cool. I was scratching my head on that one, that’s why.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 01:25 AM
2

Me?
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 11:51 PM
1

Yep. Mine has the mindset “nobody outside the family needs to know what’s going on inside the family”….
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 11:51 PM
3

Yeah, it’s funny though cause I am the one who actually GOES to therapy! I have a counselor, marriage therapist AND a psychiatrist (ADHD). She downright REFUSED and continues to refuse any and ALL types of therapy throughout the entire marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 09:56 PM
9

When she told tricked me into having our first kid and then told me she cheated on me after 20 months of marriage, then said you suck at everything you do including sex and kissing. Then apologized but the guard was back up. One I took down for HER only because I had been hurt and used by women before. Now, want to know the funny thing? SHE filed for divorce and is telling everyone that I’m bipolar because after 20years of me rolling over and letting her have her way throughout the entire marria…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 07:33 PM
1

Oh, I know. It’s ridiculous. And divorce law is frigging retarded as there’s nothing that’s actually like written that I can see or find concrete. It seems like it’s mainly all about feelings. And how the person / judge seems they may feel that day.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 07:01 PM
2

I am but I’m pretty sure she will lie.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 02:52 PM
3

Mine is supposed to admit she had affairs during the marriage in court document questions, whether they are physical or emotional. Who wants to take a bet on if she admits truthfully to them since the state we live in would turn it to an at-fault divorce for admitting to them?
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 01:10 PM
9

Same situation. But mine had physical affairs and now is in at LEAST an emotional affair before the divorce and during but she will NEVER admit to any of it because the whole time we’ve been married, tbh, it’s been nothing but lies and bullshyte.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 10:22 AM
2

Yeah, that’s the traditional way women thought but they were also raised and taught to talk to their husbands and work things out. Now, working things out is filing for divorce after listening to their toxic friends and family while never owning up for anything, lying 90%+ of the time through the process and making the man out to always be the bad guy because they were / are just complete angels throughout the entire marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 02:07 AM
1

If they’re old enough, you can tell them the truth but I am waiting until they’re 18. They can see for themselves before that who did what, who was there, etc vs who was the opposite.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 11:42 PM
1

My older one does but my youngest not yet. Her daughter knows it too but she’s funding her life and putting a roof over her head so she won’t bite the hand that feeds her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 11:39 PM
16

My stbxw decided to get all made up just to walk around the house and “show me she is ok” with the divorce. I’m thinking to myself, “IDGAFF if you look good. When is the judge signing the paperwork!” I wasn’t jealous, didn’t care if she even left me at the house with our kids and went out but she didn’t. She just walked around the house then went to her bedroom for the night shortly after I got to the house. I’m done, over it and past. Have a great rest of your life, I wish you happiness with wh…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 11:25 PM
4

My ex complained about all you said. I tried communicating with her but she would ALWAYS flip it to being just ME as the problem and me that ALWAYS had to change. It was never her or her fault for anything. Even though she said she wouldn’t have smex (at least with me) as she stepped out of our marriage a few times. And she did almost NOTHING around the house or for our kids until she filed for divorce and now is trying to make it seem like she is MoTY. But as I said, it’s me and my fault for ev…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 12:09 PM
3

Same here man. When mine told me for the third time she wanted a divorce, I told her to go file and turned to walk away. She then was like, “Wait, you’re not gonna fight or argue with me on this?” I turned to her and politely told her how I felt, all that I had been keeping to myself because she never wanted to talk, asked or could see how I was being treated, talked to or whatever. I went on for about 15minutes with tears in my eyes and got nothing from her other than, “Yeah, she dos think she …
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 01:09 PM
2

I wouldn’t honestly. I’m going through a divorce now and looking back at it all, I’ve replayed just about everything and all I seem to see is bs and lies. Mine is / was like yours. I did it all… cook, clean, take care of the kids and it’s rewarding for me but it drains me like nothing because I thought that the marriage was to be a partnership and it wasn’t and hasn’t been. But everything is my fault, I had to change, I was the problem, etc etc… I hope she finds her happiness with someone else b…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 12:11 PM
1

Oh, I am man. I’m good. I’ve got goals. My depression and anxiety are damn near non existent now. I never had it before her and now that she’s gone, it’s gone. Focusing on making life better for the kids and me. Looking for a new house for my kids and me More IT Certs (just like 2) Taking the LSAT to go to Law School Gym My kids and me My health and kids health Family vacations for kids and me Rinse and repeat That’s about it. Don’t really care to deal with her and her bs anymore. I’m good. As I…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 12:10 PM
4

Yeah, mine asked for the divorce as well and has been essentially a non-existent mother their entire lives (15 and 11). I’ve been dad and “Mr. Mom” and everyone knows and sees it, along with doing everything. But all the sudden when she filed, now she wants to try to be a mom and she’s over here like, “He’s a pos dad. He doesn’t do anything, etc etc.” yet I’m the one who still cooks, cleans, does laundry, gets them from school, takes them everywhere, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 08:39 PM
1

Why would you not try one with with and one week without? Swapping days like that isn’t good, imho, for them. No real way to establish a routine and constant reprogramming unless everything is always the same at both homes (discipline, rules, structure, bedtimes, etc). Just wondering.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 08:37 PM
4

I’m in a similar situation and it’s getting bad too. I didn’t read the entire thing but it’s just getting ridiculous. I’m being made out to be the villain the entire situation but I’ve let her get away with everything through the whole marriage as well so now because I set boundaries, I’m the bad guy and because I’m looking out for what I believe is best for our kids and myself, I’m horrible because it is t giving into everything the stbxw wants. Which is how it’s always been.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 04:01 PM
1

I would hope that would change if she were to remarry… I mean, I know in some states it does.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 12:09 PM
15

My stbxw said there isn’t anyone else and I know for a fact there is. She thinks I’m stupid, I guess cause I played that role for 15+ years that well.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 12:52 AM
-2

No, it’s actual fact man, sorry it’s not true in your specific case but it’s facts.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 02:08 AM
1

I mean, I am not even divorced yet but going through the process but my oldest kid told me that when she is alone with my stbxw since about 6 or 7 years old, she’s now 15, her mom always says stuff to her like your dad is an a$$hole, deadbeat, horrible father, pos husband, etc etc.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 11:54 PM
-1

I never said to get into a relationship after your divorce I said the person who gets into one right after the divorce or during the divorce as in cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 10:20 PM
7

Honestly, only you can tell yourself that as everyone is different. I did some research and I found out that on average because of how men love, the average time is 3-17 years for them to truly move on from the woman they love. Whereas for a woman to move one, it’s like 3 days to 3 months. That’s why they say, “When a divorce happens, look to the person who takes the time to heal, grow, seek counseling, improve themselves, change, enlightenment because that is the one who was truly invested in t…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 02:32 PM
5

I agree and if both aren’t willing to talk or discuss things and be honest about everything then there is no point to it either.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 11:36 PM
3

That’s the road I am taking… the high road. And I’m sure she will hate it because it is the truth and I know she’s already starting the smear campaign.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 02:18 AM
2

I didn’t do what the OP did but similar. She had access to the joint account and almost direct access to my credit cards which both usually got drained and run up. Was I a simp, maybe and according to most, yes. I did everything… dad and “Mr. Mom” but I’m the one now who is the bad guy. I’m the one who now has to, though it’s not really a change, tell the kids no, they can’t or whatever it is that they don’t like.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/25 05:46 PM
1

I loathe the question on assets and liabilities! I had it all on an MS Excel spreadsheet and they STILL asked about it and asked me to go line-by-line! I’m like, “It’s all right there. It says what it is, monthly payment, total, etc.”
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/25 04:54 PM
7

No, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I mean, you know how y’all split up and the relationship so only you know. I would say that it’s better for you to not take her back or talk, personally. I know I wouldn’t after everything but that’s just me. The heartache for me and the family is just too much.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 11:39 PM
1

She filed in Feb 2024. When I talked with tax people they said it would be in the best interest to let each file married separate and each claim a kid. She doesn’t want that because I owe like $2k and she owes $14k
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 07:20 PM
1

I got it, sorry. Not trying to take it out on anyone here, honestly. There is a law in the state that I live in that says once a divorce is filed with the court, absolutely NO changes to any financial things can be done. So you can’t swap accounts, change deposits, beneficiaries, 401k contribution amounts, etc etc. all bills have to be paid as they were. But that’s what I’m saying is she is like draining the account with spending and we aren’t able to cover bills or I have to pay using other met…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 07:18 PM
2

Dude, my stbxw has a weird schedule and just now switched it for the divorce to show she wants the kids. She works in healthcare as well and for the last like 15 years I’ve been dad and “Mr. Mom”, the kids know it and so does she… EVERYONE knows it. But all the sudden, three months after she files, she goes to her employer and is like, “I need to work from 9-5,” and they swapped the hours. I’m like really? It is ridiculous and I truly hope and wish judges see through stuff like that and like the…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 07:11 PM
1

Oh, I know. I told her we need to file married separately and each claiming a kid (we have2) I figured with it coming from the lawyer that it would just be a go and that’s it. But she told her lawyer that she doesn’t agree and her lawyer is pretty much like too bad they have to file joint. And according to me, trying to put it through TurboTax, which I didn’t actually hit submit it says that we owe 20 grand because she didn’t take out enough for her taxes and she’s telling me that I am going to …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 12:32 PM
1

Yes, I do. Mine only said that I should see what the tax people say and discuss it with her. I know what they will say because I’ve talked to them already. ALL of them have said married fili g separate with each claiming one kid, if I owe or she owes, then we each are responsible for what we owe, not the other and in the divorce settlement it will all be added in but it wouldn’t be fair for one to assume the debt right now for the other. She doesn’t care because she TELLS me that I will get a lo…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 12:02 PM
2

Counseling is good. Just have to find one that you mesh well with. They’re a neutral 3rd party with no feelings involved so that’s the good part. And unlike what is said by the person above, a counselor and even a psychologist CANNOT prescribe drugs, only a psychiatrist can. I wish mine wanted to attempt counseling but she never did and although she said we were on the same page with everything when we first got married and before we did, I realized it was just smoke, mirrors and bs lies. Now we…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 11:13 AM
1

I can’t. The state I live in says now that she has file, nothing can change in mine or hers with assets and anything like that. And tbh, that has little bearing on the overall topic of what I posted. I was trying to figure out that since we are going through it, why is it that I am essentially being forced to concede to everything that SHE wants and essentially just told “she doesn’t agree to it so f him and he has to do it her way” and if I don’t go along with it, her lawyer will run to the jud…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 11:01 AM
1

Each state is different but I’m probably gonna say yes to both would be a best guess since she doesn’t work. You’d have to check your specific state laws. Ask a local attorney, I mean, ChatGPT could probably answer this for you depending on the state you live in as well.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 09:43 AM
1

Sell the house and see if you can get on post just because of the kids. Sell it to open door or something like that. Most bases, or around the area have those “we buy house for cash” signs all over, call them and see what you can get. See if you can get into a house on post or at least into the barracks as a temporary situation until a house becomes available, if not an apartment because of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 09:41 AM
3

My oldest daughter is essentially like get it over with so I can go live with dad already. My youngest apparently doesn’t want us to separate. I don’t want us to either but my stbx already has a new man so….
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 12:35 AM
2

Title 4 D, it’s CS in the U.S. where states get paid $3.00 for every $2.00 they collect
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 11:26 PM
12

Yeah, sorry, I gotta agree with both of them. Mine is already moved on and has been cheating with another man for months apparently and just filed a little over a month ago. We aren’t even barely going into month two and it really just shows me how little commitment and love you truly had for me and our marriage for how fast and how easily you were able to move on. I mean, I hope my stbx finds happiness but the fact that it is that quickly is ridiculous to be straight up honest with you, in your…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 12:37 PM
1

I just mean there should be actual grounds. No fault is just ridiculous. Like if one is cheating, prove it and there ya go. Or whatever the case may be. Otherwise do this thing called put in the work and effort. Maybe don’t be so quick to rush in and get married then.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 12:29 PM
1

The problem is a lot of divorce lawyers tell one party to like “start documenting with the kids” when they file for the divorce and a judge bases their decision on that. They don’t take into account the history of the entire situation. I’ve had numerous lawyers even tell me that. The judge will ONLY look at what has been going on since the paperwork was filed, they don’t care about the past. So what is the point? So one person can make themselves look like the pristine parent and get custody whe…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 12:28 PM
1

I heard he was trying to reverse that though? Like make spousal payments income required to be claimed and that cs payments are deductible for the fathers and claimable as income by the mothers, or whoever gets them?
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 11:17 AM
3

Dude, your situation is like my situation. I did everything as well. Mine couldn’t give a reason aside from me being “bitter” but never took a step back to look at why? Even after I told her the night she told me she wanted a divorce for over 10 minutes why I was always so upset / bitter (cause I do everything and never get help by ANYONE), the only thing she could tell me after that was when I said how the kids seem to think they run the house. Now we cohabitate as well and it’s frigging killin…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 09:28 AM
9

Yeah man, just file. Don’t play the games. It’s not worth it. Mine is doing the games shyte and it’s rough. I could get into so much but I can’t type that long and the people I am friends with, well, I’ve talked their ear off so I’m like alienating myself from them. Let’s just say I’ve gone from 265lbs down to 220 in under 2 months… What actually kind of got to me is that I am in therapy and have been because of this and my marriage. They say they’d diagnose her with some sort of personality dis…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 11:37 PM
3

I wouldn’t bother bringing it up just take a picture like the other one said and leave it at that might be able to use it as far as in court custody why saying how she’s having an affair that’s about it. My soon-to-be ex is already doing that as well she’s been having an affair with some guy for a few months and already has moved on Even before filing which I think is kind of messed up, but she claims and swears that she’s not so I always say look to the one who doesn’t move on straight into ano…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 05:53 PM
1

Well, you’re better off than me! Mine is taking me for everything and draining the joint account when she gets paid cause it’s “her paycheck” causing us not to be able to pay bills.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 03:48 PM
2

I’m gonna check it out, the book. I tried to get mine to go to therapy, she refused on numerous occasions. Apparently everyone else needs to be in therapy or a psychiatric center so it’s a lost cause. I know how this is going to turn out because people are already telling me the bs and lies that she is going around telling them. I wish it would have worked out but I won’t force and never forced her to stay and let her go the day she said I want a divorce based on the response that she gave me wh…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 01:06 PM
3

Shyte, I’m only going into month 2 of the divorce and we are cohabiting and the stbx is already alienating my two kids from me so it’ll be lovely once this whole thing is complete! Not to mention…. Want to hear a kicker? So she claims I have no concept of how to manage money… Over $7k spent on a game in 3.5 month by the stbx!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 12:32 PM
7

Awesome. I’m waiting…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 12:10 AM
1

Yeah, ikr! But I’m the most horrible person in the world apparently but whatever. And that’s how they all think of me so let them have their opinions as I know the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 07:31 PM
2

Yeah, so my xw has a sister whose husband has repeatedly asked her for a divorce, cheats on her and she knows, has hit her and I believe even gotten to break bones (according to what my xw has told me). But guess what, she is STILL with him because she says in the Bible, God says you are to stand by your husband. But this same sister guided and helped mine through our divorce and told mine that she was right to get a divorce from me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 03:47 PM
5

Yeah, I guess that’s a good thing. My mother’s second husband was like that. At the start, then he wasn’t. Then he and I got into it and they got divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 02:34 AM
2

So wait, you are married and did married filing separately for taxes this year? That’s what I was thinking of doing as well because that’s all I am looked at as, a wallet. Plus, she will owe or I should say, filing jointly Turbo Tax says we owe like $15k which is predominantly I believe on her for not taking out enough.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 12:29 PM
5

That wasn’t me at all with my stbxw. It was done more out of appreciation and love for her. But I didn’t but “stuff”, I tried to buy things like flowers, the handbag/wallet she wanted (within reason), and items for our house (again within reason) or save for a family trip that we wanted to try to go on (again within reason and to make memories to have together). It was never or at least it was never an intension of material things to be materialistic. But it doesn’t matter anymore though cause s…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 12:17 PM
1

That’s confusing as all get up but maybe without any recording and being told to a kid it won’t matter?
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 02:51 AM
3

It’s very easy for them to go after former or current military, I am speaking from experience especially when the get you CoC involved. Even more so now because most don’t want to deal with it. I remember being warned when I was a single soldier to stay away from the females that were “lurking” around the bases because of what they would do to military men. I listened, until I got out. Going through a divorce now and thought that I found my one. Apparently she didn’t think so and put no effort i…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 02:44 AM
1

I didn’t say that it is necessarily YOUR issue. The issue is that most women LOOK to get the validation and it becomes that they require or yearn for it from strangers on the Internet rather than their own partner. The problem lies I. Where they (the woman) doesn’t put a stop to or starts to answer and flirt / micro-cheat with the guys sending the DMs and then possibly starts a relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 08:25 PM
1

Yep
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 07:31 PM
3

Sounds similar to my situation but mine actually filed. It’s stupid ugly man. I’ve lost over 40lbs in less than 2months, it’s been hell on me and my two kids that are about the same ages as yours. The only one who seems to be barely affected is her and that’s probably because she already has a new man lined up so she’ll be golden along with getting my money and saddling me with even more debt.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 07:28 PM
5

TBH, I think social media, outside of the Family Court system, has all but added and accelerated to the downfall of relationships, marriage and the family system, as well as society.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 01:12 PM
1

TBH, I think it’s a double standard… YOU have to get rid of or have no “female friends” but she can have “guy friends”. If you bring the topic up it’s YOU have to trust her but she won’t trust you. It’s an ever losing battle tbh.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 01:11 PM
13

I saw multiple videos online posted by women about this and some of it is mentioned here already. First is the money, it makes more sense to get divorced, especially with kids because they get more money. Alimony tends to stop upon remarry though. Secondly,their men (boyfriend/fiance/husband) just simply cannot compete anymore due to social media. When a woman posts a picture, really ANY picture on their social media account they get flooded by compliments by guys and girls usually from all over…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 11:10 AM
1

It was speech to text while driving, sorry
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 10:50 PM
1

OK, so I’m gonna tell you exactly how I was told by a lawyer that I used to have representing me during my divorce. My soon-to-be ex filed for divorce from me. I know that she is having an affair. I told my lawyer that I wanted to have or hire a private eye to catch her that way we can flip the divorce into an at fault divorce The lawyer told me don’t bother because the judge won’t see it that way because they will say that you two are separated and going through divorce proceedings so it doesn’…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 01:55 PM
4

I can agree and disagree, it all depends on the individual and the individual circumstances / situation to be honest with you. Each is different.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 12:40 AM
3

Oh, I know I don’t. I’ve been trying to be the actual adult a bigger person and be normal and you know my mom raised me to be the old-fashioned good guy and that’s how I’ve been trying to be still be nice cordial and everything. I don’t have a problem being the same room with her or saying good morning or good evening or anything like that she won’t say a word to me. She won’t be in the same room with me. She won’t look at me. I don’t have a problem with it. It’s just her towards me not me towar…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 03:39 PM
10

Dude, get your daughter into therapy, like NOW! I got BOTH mine in. My 8yr old had a complete meltdown at her first 1hr session, like 30min of hysterical crying because of what is going on. My stbxw doesn’t care and hasn’t ever shown up to a single session for either kid. She is the one who stepped out, asked for it, never has been a …. I digress because this is your thread and not my rant, I’m saving that for the book I’m going to add her to with my other two exes and publish! But get your daug…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 01:44 AM
9

So I would be almost married for 15 years this July. I got married because I love my stbxw. She was the complete opposite of me. Everything I wasn’t, she was. It was even at the point where she told me I was starting to make her friends worry because when we would hang out, I was “the creepy guy in the corner of the room”, but I was just like sizing them up to see who I could mess with and how far I could take it. I like joking around and sarcasm so after she said that, it then got to the point …
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 01:21 AM
1

lol! Yeah, trust me… I imagine it’s, well… and they tend to fly straighter and further!
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 09:28 PM
5

Look, I talked to NUMEROUS divorce lawyers where I used to live… They ALL told me these two things… No matter how hard it is DO NOT LEAVE THE MASTER BEDROOM! The court and HER lawyer will look at it as YOU abandoning the marriage. If there are kids already or on the way, DO NOT leave the house as that is the YOU abandoning the marriage AND the family. The court and HER lawyer will both use it against you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 05:03 PM
1

What does the custody agreement say? Some states make it in the custody agreement or divorce agreement where one parent has the ability to/ right to be in charge of the religious duties/beliefs of the children.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 02:20 PM
1

Nah man, go to the driving range! I used to do that. I’d just look at the ball and put all my anger into hitting! It’d go further! Imagine it is ….
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 02:14 PM
8

Dude, you’re in almost the exact situation that I’m in. Years and kids ages wise. Everything that I’ve done in my life since being married has been for my kids and more my wife. She was the one who said she wanted a divorce, but she also made everything the way it is. And I’m like 99.999% sure it’s because she stepped out. Much like you said and many others, she finds it easier to allow herself to talk to other men and be influenced by them, her friends and family versus saying or discussing thi…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 12:23 PM
1

Yep. I got a friend who’s wife is doing the gym, Botox, all the “feel good bullshyte off TikTok Shop” and trying to eat all healthy and shyte. And he says she hasn’t really lost anything that he can see. But him, he went from 265lbs to 223.4lbs in 2 months but she doesn’t say a word to him but everyone around him is worried because they say it’s too much too fast!
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 02:05 AM
2

Depends… Are they a narcissist? If they are, that’s the easy way to do it probably.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 02:00 AM
2

I think mine is planning for one right after.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 01:58 AM
2

Thats horrible. Sounds like my situation.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 11:46 AM
3

Maybe, in my case nothing was ever shared with me or spoken. The only times things were brought up were essentially with regard to discipline with the kids and that’s about it, because I did it and she wouldn’t. But then when I would do everything and she did little, that didn’t play into anything. But whatever. It’s done, it’s over. I’m moving on and so is she. I’m down almost 40lbs. It’s just sad to me because I guess I still live who I fell in love with at the beginning of the relationship an…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 01:42 PM
4

Yeah, I would have to agree with you on this and the post above you. I’m not saying to sit here and wallow in it and everyone will eventually move on and deal with it / process it in their own way. That though sounds like a heartless way or someone who may not either have a vested interest in their relationship with their ex, wasn’t with a narc, doesn’t have kids, wasn’t hurt by their ex or did the hurting themselves to their ex. Or like someone else said, maybe a person who created a burned acc…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:21 PM
2

That’s ridiculous, and I bet he was the bad guy and she was the victim the entire time as well.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 01:03 PM
2

Thanks for the responses. I’m hoping it all goes the way I am thinking in my head. I’ve already lost weight. Don’t really give a shyte, it’s just very tense and awkward in the house because of her. I’m looking at switching careers and going into law now as well and hopefully can do it because I’ve been trying but because I’ve been the one that does literally EVERYTHING in and outside the house, I’ve never been able to study for the LSAT. She said she wanted me to but never really supported it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 12:39 AM
13

Yeah, that was why I posted the topic I did yesterday or the day before as to why I never see women expressing remorse about getting divorced. My stbxw is walking around our house now like nothing is bothering her and nothing is wrong after almost 20 years and 3 kids together and she has been cheating on me for like 15 of those years and already has a new boy toy. Yet it’s me… I’m the problem…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 09:01 PM
3

Yeah, I kind of figured that. I laugh it off because I know.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 11:43 AM
4

Product of divorce myself as well and never wanted it for my kids or myself so I know what you and your boys are going through.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 11:42 AM
4

That’s what I’m dealing with. Mine calls me a narc. Though I’m the one who has been in therapy and diagnosed with C-PTSD by a psychiatrist because of her, even have a service dog for it and meds. Tried to get her to go to counseling for us but she refused. She said we should go once, then when I brought it back up she said I lied. But now apparently in the divorce stage is going around telling people that she was the one who has been begging me for years to go to marriage counseling and therapy …
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 03:07 AM
2

I’m hoping to get to that point. I was just asking the question. I was just wondering as it seems like most of the threads are like “she already had a man” or “she jumped right into another” whereas we tend to reflect, heal, build, regroup, grow and then go out.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 03:05 AM
1

But at least you learned. It may take some men a while cause we are stubborn but we learn.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 01:54 AM
1

You’re welcome 🤔 (scratching head / thinking as I think you may mean it as a compliment)
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 07:07 PM
1

Just answer in short responses, no emotion. Don’t say anything more than you have to.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 07:03 PM
11

This is also accurate. Men tend to be logical thinkers and problem solvers. Women are more emotional, sorry, it’s the truth. We like to fix problems. And we think logically when presented with a problem. Many men have a problem opening up about their emotions, for whatever reasons they have. Some are because we have been trained that it isn’t manly and you are taught to stuff it into a box and just deal. Some are because they are twisted and used against you as a vulnerability. Both are my case.…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 05:21 PM
37

Men are taught at a young age how to treat a woman but not what to expect from a woman. Whereas women are taught what to expect from a man and not how to treat a man. (In most cases, look at most old Disney movies and fairy tales for examples) Men also will sacrifice their happiness for their families whereas women will sacrifice their families for their happiness. (Again, in most cases, not all)
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 05:15 PM
2

You should talk to your lawyer. Some states have a law about it that you can’t change the status quo during the divorce. Mine does. Like all the bills, bank accounts, life insurance, benefits, beneficiaries, etc CANNOT be changed ones the filing occurs. If you do, it is contempt and they’ll essentially hang you. They also have in there things regarding children as well.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 03:23 PM
5

Oh, I know. And I didn’t say ALL women are and I don’t think they are either. I’m not a woman hater. I love women. There are a few guys who just won’t see anything else either. It’s like talking politics with some people.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 02:47 PM
23

Yeah, they want the nice guys. Then the nice guys show up, they go for them and then they get bored so they dump them or possibly cheat and then discard them, and then it turns the nice guys into how you feel. Vicious cycle. I’m not saying that happens all the time because it doesn’t. But it’s been a thing for a while from what I’ve been seeing and doing a lot of research online about. I guess that’s where they say “nice guys finish last” from. Some may say it’s the whole “red pill” thing. I had…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 12:30 PM
5

Ok, you’re in the same situation that I am and we are now going through a divorce. Her choice, not mine. I wanted to try to work it out with individual, marriage and family counseling but she refuses ALL of it. Apparently everyone needs it but her. I can tell you, she is probably already cheating on you. If it’s not already a physical affair, it’s at least an emotional one with someone else. Why? Because they tend to treat the guy they’re with like shyte when they do, not the one they’re cheatin…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 09:46 AM
3

Emotional Affair / Physical Affair
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 04:04 PM
7

I will have to agree. Do everything via text. Don’t bother talking to her, or do it as little as possible. I don’t with my stbxw. Everything is always twisted. I know I may have not been a perfect husband or father, but I never have cheated, nor would I ever. I have come to find out that’s pretty much a standard for her. Doesn’t really matter if it is an EA or PA, they’ve all happened and the lies, it’s been like nothing but. Does it hurt, yes because it’s nothing and something I ever wanted. I …
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 04:04 PM
4

I was told it was a big and important part of the relationship. But I guess it just wasn’t with me because I know she’s been having multiple EAs and PAs.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 03:47 PM
1

Who told you all this? I’m going through the same and mine is trying to get my pension and my TSP as well and I’m like um, no she shouldn’t get any of it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 03:25 PM
2

No, neither would I. I’m not saying to be that way either. I’m saying try to make it work. I think if you try therapy and both parties but an honest effort in to trying to do what the marriage counselor says, it may work but it also may not. It may also require individual therapy. It may need for the parties to seek spiritual guidance / healing as well. But I am NOT saying to stay together if there is little or no effort from one or both. I’m also not saying to stay together “just because” or “b…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 02:51 PM
2

Mine refuses both, has for a while. When I try/tried to communicate, what I say would usually be spun around as I was the problem or spun to be something about her and an issue she had. Never really addressed issues I had. Intimacy issues, well, let’s just say that I guess I’m horrific at all of that so I don’t know. I e even said maybe if we did more, more often and tried new that it would improve but nope, never got her to bite on that. When I did, I would get made fun of for that as well. It …
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 02:21 PM
2

You can try counseling if the other party is willing. You can’t force them to though. I have been in counseling since 2012 and have tried what they told me. I think that I have improved, especially with things regarding the kids but it apparently isn’t or wasn’t or hasn’t been enough for my wife and she filed for divorce. She has refused counseling even though she said she wanted to go. Apparently she doesn’t believe in it and calls me a liar when I said she told me that we should go, ok whateve…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 12:40 PM
1

I think family court is the problem as like most are hear to just favor the woman regardless of the entire situation.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 11:15 AM
0

Look only you honestly can make that decision. I would say you have to wait the frozen god of all situation because you ultimately know your situation. You know your history you know your current situation and you know everything that you’ve been through what you may aspire to do with what you may want best for your son. You know your ultimate goals in life what you inspired to get out of it and what you want in a wife. You may see that thing in your former spouse may not you know that history t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 10:52 AM
11

Honestly, only you truly can tell for yourself as every situation is different because of what you want to tolerate. I have been in it for a while and she finally filed, her choice, not and never has been mine. I’ve been willing to work on it. I’ve been going to therapy. She downright refuses to go. Suggested it but will NOT got and even says I’m a liar because she says she never said that she suggested it, I’m just like ok, sure. Everything I seem to say is always a lie. I just live in some fan…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 09:57 AM
2

Well, I would say karma is a biatch. So… Honestly, I would give her enough to stay in a hotel for a week but that’s about it. Have your son live with you and leave it at that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 02:12 AM
1

Most of it is probably cause of the divorce. I swapped one meal with a protein shake and did cut down the amount I eat but not enough to lose 35lbs in that amount of time. The small group of friends I have managed to keep are worried about it because they think I will have a stroke because of it. She doesn’t care because where we live, they don’t allow you to change anything until after the divorce so if anything happens, she will get everything. But she doesn’t care anyway. She has her new boy …
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 02:09 AM
1

If you feel bad, give her some money to put herself up in a hotel for a few days or a week. Better get that way, but I mean other than that that’s why I would do. I wouldn’t put her back in the house or wherever you’re staying, you know to me, that’s kind of just gonna end up as a manipulation technique. She’s gonna probably just try to play on your emotions and get you to get her to stay there and whatever else she could possibly try to do.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 07:22 PM
7

A everyone will say that you have to do things for yourself. Like go to the gym and things like that. Hobbies, etc. Mine and I are in the same spot, though mine never wanted to even attempt counseling or even talk about issues. She found solace elsewhere (read that as you would like). I have lost 30+ lbs since she told me she wanted a divorce and it’s killing me but I won’t keep her where she doesn’t want to be and imho, she has already clearly moved on already. No remorse or anything is felt or…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 07:21 PM
2

I will probably just kick mine off the account when my paperwork is done cause I pay for both my kids phones.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 07:07 PM
2

I’ve already lost 30lbs and we aren’t even divorced yet! It’s only been 2 months since she told me she wanted one and like 3 weeks since I got handed the papers.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 07:01 PM
5

I’d just worry about your son. Tell her that your son can stay but unfortunately you cannot allow her to stay.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 01:19 PM
1

No, that’s not what it is saying. You should be able to prove what is wrong and that you attempted to work it out and not just like “oh, we talked and he likes red but I like blue, and it’s not gonna work!” That’s why many religions also require counseling prior to marriages being allowed in church settings / places of worship as well. As you stated, he says she cheated, provide proof. She says there is neglect or abuse, provide evidence. That’s all I am saying. But to say just simply “irreconci…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 12:59 PM
1

Don’t know. Guess greener pastures? Couldn’t tell you. That’s what I’m told, it’s probably for greener pastures.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 12:49 PM
3

She served me and since has been trying to get me in trouble so I don’t know. I can tell you that I’ve lost 35lbs because of it! No necessarily because of not eating though, I did change two meals to protein shakes as well. But not eating may also be a factor.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 01:32 AM
2

No, a burden of proof should be on the person who wants to file for a divorce as to why. Criteria should be met, for an at fault divorce and if you cannot make those criteria be met, you should still also be required to attend 1 year of marriage counseling on a weekly or at least biweekly basis where the counselor submits a signed sworn statement as to their attestation on their honest opinion that goes to the judge on their observances during the course of the counseling sessions and their reco…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 01:29 AM
1

Probably. If you’re still married, it’ll be counted as marital property more than likely.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 03:20 PM
2

I did everything for mine, raised all our kids, worked etc. She said there wasn’t anyone else but my gut says different. We’re going through a divorce now. I’ve been in counseling but she refuses, she’s been very secretive with her phone and a lot of other telltale signs. But whatever, it’s never been something I want but it’s what she wants so I will give her what she wants as I’m not going to force her to stay where she doesn’t want to be. I just hope that my kids don’t fault me for what has g…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 02:43 PM
2

It seems to be the norm, as many others have said. Many western women get married and it has been made so easy to just file for divorce, especially due to “no fault” and “irreconcilable differences”. There should be an actual burden of proof required on the submitting party that a judge actually has to approve for it to even be filed, but it won’t ever happen. Why do you think there are so many people up in arms because there is talk about POTUS doing away nationally with “No Fault”. However, as…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 01:29 PM
2

When does a guy get an excuse?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 11:18 AM
1

What world are you living in to make that statement? I’ve run into numerous men who have been trapped by women into having kids by having unsafe sex. I know men who are I. Marriages because of it. I have been I. Briefings when I was a soldier where they warn single males to be careful when they go out on the town in specific areas because the women of the area are known to do things like lure them into having unprotected sex so they can get pregnant because they know they’re were/are military an…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 11:11 AM
1

Yeah, we always used protection so I didn’t honestly know why she wanted to go on BC. Then I started to understand.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 11:05 AM
2

Huh?
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 11:54 PM
4

It’s friggin hard as flock man, I will tell you that. I’m in. The same boat. Mine told me 2x that she wanted one, came back both times saying she didn’t. She’s never wanted to go to counseling, then said she thought we should. Then told me I made it up. Ok, whatever. I’ve been in counseling for 10+ years because of all of it. I have tried everything on my part. I did after the second time tell myself that I won’t let her play with me for the third time so when she did tell me, I told her go file…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 11:53 PM
2

That doesn’t matter man, she can clean it out in a week with you out of the country. It isn’t that hard with professional movers. They can do it in three days, especially if she’s know. When you’re rolling out. She probably won’t go to counseling and has no desire to.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 08:28 PM
5

I will probably keep some although don’t think she will keep any. I will keep them for our three kids but they will be in boxes and/or digital.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 06:50 PM
2

And that’s why no fault shouldn’t be a thing at all across the board. TBH but it won’t change
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 02:31 PM
2

I’ve had this discussion with a woman before. And I was told that men just don’t understand what it’s like and our equivalent to what they go through their entire life is a man’s “midlife crisis”, to which is where I responded “that’s where they tend to buy a Corvetter or something, but women get periods, PMS, perimenopause, premenopaus, menopause and men are just to deal?” The response was “yes because men just can’t understand.” Still goes back to a statement I’ve liked where it was, “Men will…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 01:10 PM
3

Too bad many don’t really care and only see the all might dolla as the end game. Some say go with an attorney outside the area, especially if the spouse has one from inside the local area because maybe they don’t know one another. Some have seen where they attorneys just drum up the case for money.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 12:53 PM
3

And any secretly recorded argument as well so watch your temper as well. My friend said that his ex tried to bait him into arguments all the time during their divorce cause they were in a similar situation and all she was doing was trying to get any dirt on him. All she wanted was to use it I. Court to show how he was an unfit father because she wanted custody of the kids to leave the state with them because she wanted to move back near her family. He would destroy him and it did when it happene…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 12:51 PM
3

Family law is a like BILLION dollar a year industry and probably one of the easiest areas of law for people to get into, that’s why there are so many. It’s stupid already. They get rid of Title 4d, no fault divorce and watch what happens. Where I’m at, just a consultation was $200-1000! I’m like, WTFH! Retainers are $4k-10k! Like area you serious! And most don’t do shyte. Have paralegals file the paperwork, you NEVER really speak to or hear from the lawyer directly. He’ll, I know one friend who …
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 11:51 AM
1

Mine hates both the dogs, says they’re an inconvenience but the other day bought them treats from the store…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 08:49 PM
10

Sorry man, mine just filed and I was just served. It sucks. It’s like a thing now, society seems to make it fun and a benefit for women to divorce rather than to try to make a marriage work.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 07:35 PM
2

Honestly, it all depends on the counselor and what is put into it by BOTH parties. A good counselor should be able to see through the biosphere if one or both parties spews it during any or all sessions. I have been to both, male and female. I had a good female and a very bad female. The male listened and gave ideas on ways to fix things or different ways to approach things. The one female did the same, even let me just go in and unload everything on her. Then the one female, after talking with …
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 04:25 PM
3

You know it is so sad how guys have to do shyte like this because the court system just gives everything to the woman or favors a woman in a divorce. It’s honestly sad and pathetic personally. And they wonder why guys don’t want to get married or even get into a relationship anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 02:55 AM
1

Yep, that’s what’s happening with me soon.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 06:26 PM
6

Similar situation here. Men will sacrifice happiness for family. And it seems like that is what you may be doing. Word of advice from my own situation, on what I’m doing. I’ve talked with my kids schools administrators and teacher so they know what is going on in case anything starts happening at school. It’s not as an excuse, it’s just to be cautious. I’m also looking at getting my kids into outside child therapy. I’m going to therapy as well. Doing research on divorce in your area / state and …
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 02:17 PM
3

I have a friend who’s daughter and stepdaughter do the exact same to their boyfriends and fiance that their mother does to my friend. He and I, though I have no reason to do so, both wish the cycle would perpetuate but it was how they were raised by their mother. He is active duty Army and tried as best he could to be there as much as he could, as much as the Army would allow him to be, but with their mother being a sahm, and being around her parents where grandma was the same way, it was or has…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 12:45 PM
1

I tried that a bunch of times. She suggested counseling a few times but she won’t ever go. I’ve been in for years. She will NOT go. Her mindset is that nobody outside the family needs to know what’s going on inside the family so I’m not sure how you would go to counseling with someone like that.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 10:37 PM
5

I know a lot of retired military who have this happen to them, some who aren’t even retired but get out and then get their Va up at 100%, then their spouse files thinking they’ll get a portion of it as well. It’s horrible what is the old saying, money is the root of all evil? (Only speculation on that being the motivation) However, something similar happened. Right after Christmas this year, I was told about getting a divorce but it was not the first time. Mine asked numerous times about a divor…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 12:51 PM
5

It’s just a new supply for her. She had him waiting before it ended with you, he’s probably got more money than you, and she did all that was required for him to fall… once he realizes, it’ll change.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 04:47 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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