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Grey_Coffee_55 Archive

View 3 posts and 16 comments by Grey_Coffee_55 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I think that's where my head keeps going...
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 07:15 PM
1

Thanks... really appreciate the comment. I did speak with my solicitor/lawyer today... and I've got some things to weigh up, I will meet again next week. The quick thing they flagged, (amongst their own shocked view of the requests) was to ignore the 'this Friday deadline' my ex wife solicitor had pushed for; With no legal requirement and no reason for this deadline (other than to wrap up quickly) it seems just plain criminal and unnecessarily stress-inducing to try to rush something so critical…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 07:14 PM
1

Thanks... spoke with my solicitor today... that said... at the very least getting the opinions of a random on the tubes is good positive boost for my mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 07:07 PM
2

... the similarities are odd to read. I've had family and friends (both my and my ex's side) point out the times she would be controlling or openly put me down. I think for a long (long) time I didn't even see it anymore, just accepted that's how you're supposed to feel. Get put down, made to feel worthless/flawed (despite being an actually ok decent human) and then apologise for it. I look back and get annoyed at my inability to speak up, to say what or how I felt in response. Perhaps that woul…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 05:53 AM
1

"and the utter way she made me feel awful for any of a number of reasons and why it was clear at the end I wasn’t happy and couldn’t live like that anymore" That resonates. It's only really now with a bit of hindsight. 20 months after the split. With divorce now complete but financial hell (and all the related deep anxiety) still going. After a bit of counselling, more recently, I can see how I was so broken and unhappy not just in the months before the separation but years and years. I was so o…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 05:36 AM
3

Day at a time... it will get better. (*I hope... for me too).
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 01:34 AM
4

Nice post. I first visited here, when life took the big diversion into the world of separation, swifty followed by divorce proceedings. 1.5 yrs later... and I'm still going through divorce... and it's still tough. At some point I stopped visiting and reading posts here, as it can admittedly be a tough feed to read when you're just holding in there. But it has definitely helped at times. Visiting a bit more, recently... I hope one day I'll be in a position to help others navigate some of the thro…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 01:33 AM
1

I've got a 9 and 13 year old. Initially, when their mum and I split (4 months ago) , I would take them out for food and do some paid-for activities. Partly to ensure it was fun, a nice distraction from the reality of the split for them, but also cause I was still sorting out where I was going to live. It was costly but was the right choice at the time. I've now rented a small place and tried to make it feel homely and a nice space for both them and me. I try to make sure when they're at mine (I …
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 10:47 AM
1

Thanks.... definitely trying to do that and getting there. Then the next phase of the separation begins with a surprise message, and another wave of 'oh sh\t, this is a lot rains down'*. Which results in another night of rubbish sleep, huge lack of motivation and focus on work, lack of motivation to go for a run or to eat (poorly or healthily) ... etc etc... but it does pass. Plus as time goes on, I'm realising those sinking feelings are temporary and do process it quicker, get back to it and mo…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 09:27 AM
1

How very helpful ;-)
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 08:54 AM
1

Thanks for posting this reply. I'm just 4 months in to seperation and divorce proceedings are just kicking off but in amongst the slowly improving pangs of hurt/guilt/sadness/stress. I am starting to build up lots of the postive outcomes you've listed. No doubt there's financial stuff to navigate but the point you making about having "MORE money now because someone else isn't spending every dime. I am no longer tied to her bad financial decisions. I am debt-free and making steady progress on sav…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 10:41 AM
2

Thanks, I'm going to give that a go later today.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 01:42 PM
1

Thanks, yeah that's what I'm wondering. Whilst I'd love it if she would cancel the solicitors and we try and go through it as much as possible ourselves. (*As I'd rather give all the money to my kids than a solicitor.) . I don't think that is going to happen. (*But I will give it one last try... ) So then I guess I'm hoping, as you say, that I don't need to fully retain solicitors but just have someone give me advice. Which will come at a cost but hopefully not so high.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 01:32 PM
5

Denial... Fear... Depression... quite possibly in hindsight 'Stupidity' ...we shall see. But mainly a mix of dealing with a dieing father and the stress of that, and the emotional rollercoaster of the breakup. Plus perhaps some false sense of hope that we'd reach a point of improved communication where we could rationally work through the financial arrangements ourselves to a large degree. I'd done some research and many things suggested working through as much of the separation and divorce as p…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 03:21 PM
2

Thanks, that's what I assumed. I'm contacting a couple of recommended solicitors and will go from there.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 03:11 PM
3

Good and helpful post.... I'm currently moving into acceptance with fewer moments/days/hours of the feelings you've described for 'Depression'.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 12:39 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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