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HanEyeAm Archive

View 5 posts and 366 comments by HanEyeAm on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

When I was 20, I thought 20yo women were attractive. At 50ish I still do. Studies across cultures have demonstrated that Men find women around that age to be the most attractive. Advertisers, porn industry, etc have all figured out that men, and women for that matter, see younger women as at the pinnacle of attractiveness. It's really not that complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 01:30 PM
–

Good point. By the way, do you happen to know whether participation in the subreddit would get someone banned from r/dating? I don't know where it happened, but those screwballs banned me for life for participating in what they called an incel/ red pill subreddit without telling me which one.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:14 PM
–

Yep, online dating platforms don't primarily lean on pictures just because it's easy. It's also most important.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 08:49 PM
–

The question isn't whether women go to strip clubs, it's whether they tend to find the male dancers' bodies to be a turn on and/or desirable in a mate.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 08:43 PM
–

Ho ho, you are mistaken. Men who like to see strippers with huge fake tits would love a wife or girlfriend with big tits.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 08:38 PM
1

I'm not sure what the punk movement is. When I was coming up, there were the Nazi skinheads then there were the Ian McKay type straight edge skinheads, each with their own DIY, anti -conventional thing. I remember around 1994 (before Dookie came out), seeing a show at a squat in San Francisco. Between bands a blue haired woman got up and made an announcement about looking for new members to join "Asian American punks for [something or other social justice]." That's when I figured the punk I knew…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 09:48 PM
2

Yeah, people who already leaned heavily became more extreme in polarization and intolerant.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 09:25 PM
13

Exactly what is happening. Healthcare service is getting feminized and so is getting pushed around by managed care and hospital admin (whether run by men or not, they are more corporate assertive/aggressive). Less assertive/confrontational ("feminized") front-line docs and such bleed up into lower middle management (eg, clinic directors) and try to use relational leadership techniques when dealing with hospital admin; and they are eaten alive.
/r/TheRedPill20/12/23 04:40 AM
17

One of the things my ex, a proud feminist when we met, said she loved about me when we met was that I was inclusive and valued equality. Left leaning I suppose. But her pendulum swung to far progressive left third wave feminism with the social upheaval of 2016. I don't believe my views changed much over the years but I had little patience for false narratives and the cancel culture behavior that I was seeing. Well. In her eyes I became an intolerable embodiment of the patriarchy at that point an…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 09:27 PM
1

why men prefer to live in apartments and why women seem so desperate to buy a house. "Independent woman." "Not dependent on a man." In addition, people (men and women) just like having a backyard for their dog, want to garden and set up their house as they see fit. It reflects but also propels women's decision to get married later in life. Plus we've been told for decades that in most cases renting is throwing money away and housing is an investment. And perhaps women have been held back by not …
/r/MensRights17/11/23 05:31 PM
13

Those are liberal talking points, trying to make you think that women are united behind Democrats. 47% of white women (39% overall) voted for Trump in 2016. It was only 28% of women under 30, but that still means at minimum a third of women (probably more) would date a man who voted for Trump. https://www.pewresearch.org/politics/2018/08/09/an-examination-of-the-2016-electorate-based-on-validated-voters/
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 01:25 PM
3

I think that is true. I've dated quite a bit since divorce 5 yrs ago and am almost always the one to break things off. I would like a LT partner, but I'm not forcing it and am cautious. Cupid is keeping his distance, I guess. I worry that women might think "there must be something wrong with him" since I haven't settled down, yet. Maybe the reluctance to commit is "wrong."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 04:45 AM
1

You gotta do it with style, baby. Probably was bad advice for the inexperienced OP. And yes, she does.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 02:33 AM
2

I'm getting some hate for that, for sure! The idea is for it to be authentic yet tongue in cheek.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 05:38 PM
1

You can definitely say stuff like that, tongue and cheek, playfully, in which you don't hide the fact that it's cheesy, and many women will still respond positively to it, if you are authentic and responding to her underlying need.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 01:56 PM
2

I'm glad that you did not lie. Best wishes!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 01:52 PM
1

It's not really my style, and it sounds dumb to read it, but some women eat that stuff up in the moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 12:19 PM
1

No, that's not generally my style. I'm open about the timeline and status of my marriage/divorce from the start. If on a second date a woman asks for details about my dating history, I would be forthright but vague about my history. If pressed I would say that I want to get to know her better before giving her the rubdown, while asking why it was important for her to ask. Frankly, it is a sign of immaturity and insecurity to push for that info so early. As I said elsewhere, over the past several…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 12:18 PM
2

Of course she knows he is dodging the request to share his relationship history (incidentally, OP didn't say he was asked, just that he revealed that information). In my example he's providing some information to try to put her mind at ease regarding the issues underlying the request for information. If a woman Is insistent that I describe my relationship history within two or three weeks of talking, and finds a red flag if I'm not ready yet, that's fine, she's not the one for me. In my (52M) da…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 12:05 PM
1

Oh yeah, looking for social proof for sure, that's a good addition. That also puts her at ease and builds trust. Women aren't (necessarily) dumb, of course, but that's irrelevant. A man isn't obligated to discuss his exes after 2-3 weeks of talking. If he authentically and enthusiastically voices interest and commitment to building something, she'll wait to hear the history. In my experience, most people's report of their history is 3/4 "truthiness" anyway, either through omission or commission.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 06:01 AM
-2

Why even talk about the past when you've only known her for two or three weeks? If she asks about your dating history say something like, "since I met you, my past relationships are a hazy, distant memory. Everything in my past is going to stay there. I'm fully focused on the here and now, with you, and I'm so excited about where we can take it from here." In early dating, she wants to know whether she has you all to herself and whether there are any lunatic exes that may pop up and cause troubl…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 05:33 AM
1

The delusion is believing this calculator works. I set everything at low and race as black. It says that 23% are available at 18yo. Then I change it to 44yo and there are 34% available. First up, there are more women over the age of 18 and over the age of 44, so It should not increase when 23% to 34%. Not to mention, black women are about 7% of the population, so the numbers provided by the calculator are impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/23 01:33 PM
1

I agree, the "rules" do not mean every woman is attracted to every guy who is attractive and "attractive" is of course subjective, to a degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 01:02 PM
1

Huh
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 11:28 AM
1

You are misunderstanding the rules. The rules would be better phrased as generalizations. Particularly for online dating, being attractive or unattractive makes a huge difference (middlin' guys can do well with finesse but they can't just post bathroom selfies and a boring bio). You are talking about a woman's response to one specific man. That depends on the guy's ability to read her signals, push and pull to ascertain whether she is interested, and the woman's ability to signal interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 03:03 AM
2

What sub?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 02:47 AM
–

That's exactly it. It's a certain brand of masculine confidence. Some guys can fake BDE, and some guys just have it. Many of us pull it out of our trousers every once in a while, maybe even surprising ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 10:51 PM
7

Yep. Amazing how many anxiety-induced reddit posts could be saved by just talking to one's partner instead of fretting and asking random strangers what things mean.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/10/23 02:27 AM
8

Well, that's the age-old debate, isn't it? Should you assume sexual exclusivity or assume that your date may be banging the football team? And is it reasonable to expect to know whether your date had sex last week? Or kissed someone last night? Or held hands earlier in the day? Further. Is it one's responsibility to disclose? Or should the other person ask? And when? I'd say if it is important to you, then ask. Otherwise, you don't know what rules the other person is playing by.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/10/23 08:42 PM
6

I'm with you, pal. Studying it is the best way to either fix it or clarify the reasons for the pay gap so the myth of gender pay discrimination can be countered.
/r/MensRights24/10/23 11:41 AM
2

So true
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 12:01 AM
2

In my opinion, the quality of discussion is, for the most part, too low on dating and gender-related subreddits to consider it "debate.". The bulk of people want to be heard/understood/supported, want to feel smart, or want to be mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 06:13 PM
5

I must be in the minority here (52M). I think they were both adults about it and it wasn't a good fit because they had different values. I have taken the same approach to dating, in that I have continued to have sex with a FWB while feeling out a new dating relationship, before we agreed to make things exclusive. I don't have any issue with that. People have different thresholds for being able to separate sex from friendship love and romantic love. She was being thoughtful about what she was doi…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/10/23 04:49 PM
1

Ha! No, just a dreamer. And advocate for critical/thinking reasoning.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 03:29 PM
1

Nah, friend, I totally agree with those points. I hope it was an accurate paraphrasing of your comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 02:11 PM
2

Lots of layers there, and I think I agree. *some people are just going to write things in a way to be hurtful or rile others up. *some people have biases that result in reading into posts more than they should. *if you are stuck in "shoulds and oughts" then you are going to be disappointed and clutching pearls a lot. *you gotta have some thick skin to survive on reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 01:59 PM
-1

If I understand your response, and if I can remember the OP's post correctly, then yes, I agree with you. The OP fits in the same category of any man or woman who cries "x is y" without really trying to debate anything. Edit: I reread OP's post, and see that they did actually have a question after stating their premise, so at least they are open to talking about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 01:53 PM
2

That thread was a hard read. A lot of misogyny. To be fair, there were also responses that rejected the premise involving the comparison of women to feces. Still, not cool. Personally, I'm not a fan of that misogyny or the misandry that is being discussed here. And I have empathy for those who are negatively impacted by it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 01:45 PM
2

People complain, they use hyperbole to complain. People need to understand that words have power and that they should do better.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 01:34 PM
5

Haha! Yeah, people have to keep the context of anonymous reddit in mind, for sure. Some mean people sit at home picking the legs off of daddy-ling-legs, others go online and inflict discomfort on other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 01:32 PM
-2

If you would break down exactly how you came to that understanding of my post I would appreciate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 01:28 PM
2

This is what debate is - people make stances, then defend them. I would like to see more debate, opinions phrased as opinions, and statements phrased with some degree of nuance and uncertainty. I more generally see "men are X" or "men can't stand Y." That isn't conjecture to start a debate, it's just a whine or a biting indictment. Edit: I'm talking about reddit generally, not specifically this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 01:23 PM
3

Yeah, I had the same impression. The more I look, the more I see this forum as a mirror image of 2XC.
/r/MensRights22/10/23 04:51 PM
2

Yup! And she's not exactly saying lower standards, but expanding the dating pool beyond college educated (for example). Doesn't seem controversial or anti-male.
/r/MensRights22/10/23 04:50 PM
1

Not sure where that quote came from...not me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 07:11 PM
1

Regarding the study published in Evolutionary Psychological Science, there's no indication that women lie about referring personality over looks. They underestimate the impact of attractiveness or overestimate the impact of personality, meaning they may not be aware. It seems like a pretty straightforward study, I wonder if there were flaws that kept it out of a higher impact journal.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 05:46 PM
1

Why search for "MRI" in abstracts? That isn't even a proper MeSH keyword. Why not also search for other types of functional imaging like EEG, PET, MEG, TMS, etc.? For that matter, why search for those things at all? This is not a study that determines the cause of the difference, just a difference across gender at different ages, and then infers something about the mechanism behind those gender differences (although, at least per the abstract, they don't make much of it). If you think they shoul…
/r/MensRights20/10/23 02:55 AM
1

At least in the abstract (below), the authors do not claim that socialization has an effect. They also don't claim that biology has no effect. Maybe they say that in the article. For everybody posting single articles to refute the findings, consider that this is a meta-analysis which takes all studies into account. Those individual studies may have been included in the meta-analysis to begin with. If you are citing a specific study, explain why that one in particular challenges the findings. Cit…
/r/MensRights19/10/23 07:01 PM
3

Believing that humans have innate preferences, values, and behaviors throws a huge monkey wrench into everything the psychology field has believed in. With all due respect, that is incorrect. The field of psychology absolutely rejects a blank slate approach.
/r/MensRights19/10/23 06:45 PM
3

That's me. 58. A 5 lb swing in my weight makes a big difference in the cut of my jaw and droopiness around the eyes. I could be making it up, but I really do feel like women pay more attention when I lose a few pounds. But the gorging is fun too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 06:20 PM
3

There was a discussion about the draft on twotrollxchromosomes recently. They were incited by the prospect of women getting drafted to fight for the patriarchy. And thought that pregnancy should be a get out of draft free card.
/r/MensRights17/10/23 09:37 PM
1

Friend, you can do it! Activism or volunteering for things that help men's lives, that is.
/r/MensRights12/10/23 08:58 PM
0

Nearly all women call themselves "feminists," but I hear you are calling out a specific brand of feminists. Still, the question remains, what are you going to do about it?
/r/MensRights12/10/23 05:27 PM
1

I'm sorry to hear that you have nothing to add to MR advocacy other than violence. I hope that you can find agency in other ways.
/r/MensRights12/10/23 01:42 PM
-2

So we should blame women for our woes and not take action. Got it.
/r/MensRights12/10/23 01:40 PM
0

Have any of the men who are gnashing their teeth on this thread doing anything about it? Letter to the editor? Having a rally? Calling a media outlet? Some women of reddit say that MRAs bitch and complain but don't do anything (eg, volunteer for men's shelters). Are they right or wrong?
/r/MensRights11/10/23 11:06 PM
2

Tough crowd here. Someone else phrased it a little differently and said that if paternity leave was compulsory that it would go a long way to reducing the gap further and got upvoted.
/r/MensRights09/10/23 09:43 PM
17

Tat jumped out at me as well. Strange word choice. On the other hand, maybe it was purposely chosen to contrast with the blame often being targeted at men or the patriarchy?
/r/MensRights09/10/23 09:33 PM
27

There are a lot of women enjoying casual sex who are not hedonists, addicts or have major mental health issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 12:50 AM
2

Maybe so!
/r/MensRights07/10/23 06:30 PM
2

Yes, numerous times. I see women do it, too. The presence of men can also be a deterrent to bad behavior, so in a sense they are protectors without having to step into an obviously dangerous situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 02:13 PM
1

For a quick move in the right direction: Read Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules (ignore all his other stuff, at least for now). Read Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. I think Scott Galloway has some interesting stuff. Check him out on YT or his books. Work on yourself and get active w a community and you will likely not be alone.
/r/MensRights04/10/23 06:28 PM
1

They aren't sexy by most men's standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 05:19 AM
1

The vast majority of women, prefer to date exclusively or have a FWB - for sexual attraction reasons, personal safety reasons, reputational reasons, and general lifestyle reasons. Go to any bar or club. You will see a lot of women hanging out together and going home together. I don't have the numbers off hand, but since you made the claim, I'll leave it to you to provide them. But I don't think this is true at all. A sizeable number of women are hooking up through dating apps in particular. You …
/r/ExRedPill01/10/23 12:27 AM
3

I believe that most men do not ascribe to Tate's views in toto nor do they appreciate those views from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 12:11 AM
1

TBF, that is gender neutral and specifies that "somebody" needs to be right, not always the woman. It happens to be the wife in this story, but there are still a lot of "father knows best" families out there.
/r/MensRights30/09/23 03:19 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 10:48 AM
1

A link would be appreciated.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 12:52 AM
2

True, women are more often the ones to take care of their spouse later in life than the opposite. Traditionally, the way the husband supported the family through most of his adulthood was thought to balance out with the wife providing a happy home and taking care of him later in life. With women working, sometimes as the breadwinner, the traditional arrangement is less relevant, yet the husband is likely going to have health problems before the wife. One comment, of children who are caretakers, …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 02:09 PM
5

Awww! That's great.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 11:14 AM
2

Agreed. I mentioned this in another post earlier... My ex thoroughly wiped down the kitchen counters like three times a day. She felt it was important and needed. I feel like you clean up your messes and do a deep cleaning every once in a while. So she wiped down the counters three times a day and fumed that I was not pulling my weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 03:46 AM
3

It can be taxing, but is an impossible thing to quantify and defend as necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 03:43 AM
9

That's great! A nice example of a functional, supportive nuclear family. It sounds like you and your siblings are all grown. What's it like for your folks relationship and household these days?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 03:40 AM
1

Ok, I took another look while on the can. So you are questioning why they explored and presented (Table 2) only use prevalence and not problematic use or harms for individual study estimates. And you conjectured that although the use gap has shrunk that perhaps problematic use and harms are still higher in men, and you question why the authors did not provide that info. I think that's a good point and a good question. You ask about how individual studies or indicators were weighted in the pooled…
/r/MensRights26/09/23 11:27 AM
1

I appreciate your deep dig. I probably won't have time to look at this in the next couple days So I'll take your questions as valid critiques of the methodology, which I think you're contending they did not provide sufficient justification and explanation how they derived their index.
/r/MensRights26/09/23 10:52 AM
1

They provide a lot of information in the journal article. If that doesn't do it for you, check out the detailed methods in the supplemental section. https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/bmjopen/6/10/e011827/DC1/embed/inline-supplementary-material-1.pdf?download=true
/r/MensRights25/09/23 10:00 PM
2

Friend, I don't see any problem with the data or methods. Women have more money and more disposable income than in the past (and perhaps they are more willing to acknowledge drinking on surveys than ever before). It's not inconceivable that women drink more than they did 100 years ago. I read the original journal article and didn't see any gender bias other than the weird, parenthetical mention of particularly targeting young women for intervention.
/r/MensRights25/09/23 08:15 PM
4

Can't get much cheaper than free (men buying drinks) or heavily discounted (ladies nights).
/r/MensRights25/09/23 08:12 PM
3

so why target one sex specifically? That phrase was certainly unnecessary in the original article but I feel like the Guardian overemphasized it. So especially bad on The Guardian for their bias. EDIT: I just saw the BMC press release for this article (Link to a supplement in the article), which also uses that quote about specifically targeting women. Shameful.
/r/MensRights25/09/23 08:09 PM
6

Friend, maybe the Guardian actually read the article... the qualitative review determined that of the 42 studies that reported some evidence for sex convergence in alcohol use or related harms, the majority of these reported that convergence was driven by greater and/or more consistent increases in indicators of alcohol use among females compared with males from recent cohorts.5 ,6 ,8 ,9 ,11 ,14 ,15 ,25 ,27 ,32–34 ,39 ,41 ,42 ,44 ,46–48 ,51 ,55 ,58–60 ,65–67 ,69 ,71 ,75 ,78 Within this context, …
/r/MensRights25/09/23 07:32 PM
1

Right, and that very well may be an innate, biological expression. On the other hand, there remains somewhat of a stereotype that men are better with math skills to a degree that dissuades women from excelling in and pursuing math based professions.
/r/MensRights23/09/23 03:50 AM
0

Thank you. Yeah, this subreddit has so much great information, but it slides into bias, victimhood, and denialism as often as 2XC and other female-oriented subreddits.
/r/MensRights22/09/23 08:01 PM
1

I've already seen the thread. What I'm saying is that there is a kernel of truth in the idea that women have been told that they're no good in math in chess is not for them, and that has influenced preferences of women to some degree. A problem I see on this subreddit as well as on 2XC and more feminist centric subs is that people keep talking in absolutes, like it's all a patriarchical cultural phenomenon or There is no cultural influence. That stance is not helpful in figuring out the reality.
/r/MensRights22/09/23 06:43 PM
1

Very interesting!
/r/MensRights22/09/23 06:40 PM
-6

Well, to be fair, historically, women were told and treated as though they didn't have the intellectual capabilities of men. That wasn't so long ago. And stereotypes persist about gender differences in math skills and such. A question is whether any specific gender stereotype has a basis in an innate quality which is then reinforced by cultural standards.
/r/MensRights22/09/23 01:49 PM
3

Women tend to be more relationship focused, so yeah, pursuits like that are less of interest. One argument is that since less women play chess due to preference, there are just less women available to rise through the ranks. So for example, if for every 100 men who take chess competition seriously there are 10 women who take it seriously, there's going to be one woman in the top ranks for every 10 men. I don't think there is as clear evidence of an innate advantage for men in chess as there is i…
/r/MensRights22/09/23 01:44 PM
2

Sam Malone?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 11:32 PM
1

Yep, I didn't post this as a "male aggrieved" thread. More of an interesting (at some point) legal case to follow that may be precedent-setting for men's rights. Also, I do have some sympathy for the guy. His marriage was falling apart and he had (at least) monthly 30+ minute phone calls with this woman for well over a year. She kept him around as an orbiter, it seems, in his vulnerable state, without setting her own appropriate boundaries. Truly, another "dude, you should know better" stories
/r/MensRights20/09/23 01:56 AM
3

You are downvoted but it is so true: many men (at least us from the Gen X generation) have a baked-in fear of being perceived as gay, and closeness got my touching, and vulnerability with a man as seen as dangerously intimate. It wasn't until my 40s that I was comfortable giving another guy a hug.
/r/MensRights19/09/23 01:27 PM
3

Same!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 02:45 AM
3

I was in the same boat. I took on all the stress of being the main breadwinner while trying to be a "modern" husband and father who split household/child care duties 50/50. In other words, I thought it was my duty to give all of my time and person to my family and stoically accept that I had to give up most of myself, at least until my kids were older and I might be able to start some hobbies again. So I focused on the family and when my (now ex) wife pushed against my social hobbies I withdrew …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 02:42 AM
1

For sure. Learn to talk to feel comfortable talking to people first. Then learn to hold frame and set hooks for women who are more reluctant. If you follow rules #1 and #2 you hardly need the latter.
/r/TheRedPill14/09/23 11:58 PM
1

Try this: Next time a girl approaches you and you feel awkward, respond very plainly: "You're too pretty, I can't talk to you," and WALK AWAY. Delivery is important. You have to be sincere. You have to walk away. OP will come across like an autist. He just needs to unlearn the shy-boy scripts and learn to say "hi, how are you?" while maintaining a frame of someone who is curious, looking for happiness/eudaimonia, and about what she is bringing to the table.
/r/TheRedPill14/09/23 11:54 PM
1

Investigators tend to follow the money. If there were more dollars for prostate cancer, more researchers would do prostate cancer research.
/r/MensRights29/08/23 03:50 PM
1

Interesting that the ACLU is staying rather neutral on the case of the female-only The Wing whereas they have fought against male only spaces.
/r/MensRights28/08/23 11:49 PM
2

I didn't hear about that, and my circles are pretty liberal. I wouldn't even worry about it.
/r/MensRights28/08/23 01:05 AM
5

Yea! That is so heartening. My field of psychology continues to erode into a progressive advocacy organization, but it's wonderful to see Division 51 bucking the narrative. I'm joining, ASAP!
/r/MensRights26/08/23 04:26 PM
13

Male psychologist here. The guild has tons of incentives to attract and retain racial minorities, women, and LGBT, in part, to offer that very experience of having a therapist who connects with you due to shared experience and the client's trust. The small (20%?) percentage of men in the field continues to dwindle, and there is absolutely no effort being made to attract or incentivize men into the field. Until recent years, APA had leadership training programs for minorities and women, and none …
/r/MensRights26/08/23 04:22 PM
2

It does, thank you! Quite remarkable.
/r/MensRights23/08/23 12:24 PM
5

Interesting statistic. Can you provide the source for that? It's a good reference to have on hand.
/r/MensRights23/08/23 11:06 AM
5

I had a scroll too far to find someone actually post data. Thank you.
/r/MensRights23/08/23 11:04 AM
10

I'm not seeing a video linked but it sounds a bit like Robert Bly's (see Iron John) approach. Some experience it as weird, for others it is transformational.
/r/MensRights21/08/23 02:17 PM
5

So, how did it turn out?
/r/seduction21/08/23 12:43 PM
1

Welp, there are a lot of snakes out there, and you may find that the faithful guy you married isn't walking the same path 10 years down the line. Choose carefully, and best wishes to you!
/r/MensRights18/08/23 12:20 AM
5

First up, you seem to be an ally of men, so thank you for that. I think your perspective on gendered roles in a marriage is fine. That said, a known problem with that traditional arrangement is that it creates a significant power differential. The courts to some degree correct for that in the form of alimony, but that may not much influence the day to day happenings in the relationship. What would be your approach to protecting yourself, or do you see yourself as more of a subservient "helper of…
/r/MensRights17/08/23 01:00 PM
3

The percentage of females murdered by an intimate partner was 5 times higher than for males I agree, that is misleading toward making the disparity look larger than it is (assuming your reported deaths are correct). The problem is not percentages, it is that percentages (as well as odds ratios, incidence, etc.) need to be defined and placed in context, as you have done. Good catch, though! Will you report this error to DOJ?
/r/MensRights16/08/23 02:01 PM
3

If 4 of 12 women left during sex, you are definitely doing something wrong. Glad you are taking a step back and wanting to get in control of your anger/frustration and find a different way to respond to brattiness/resistance.
/r/seduction15/08/23 02:48 PM
2

Yeah, the use of the term minority is a good launching point for talking about the disparity in survival rates.
/r/MensRights10/08/23 09:15 PM
2

Yeah, it's not really that big of a population difference they're called a minority, in my mind. It's better to focus on the large disparity in death/survival rates.
/r/MensRights10/08/23 04:47 PM
1

"Pedophile" applies to being aroused by pre-pubescent children, not to 14yo HS students. Good article, but that example is distracting.
/r/MensRights09/08/23 01:26 PM
1

It's more painful when you change your mind halfway through OD'ing and you realize you are likely to die.
/r/MensRights09/08/23 02:31 AM
2

That reminds me...does the gender wage gap equal a gender income gap, the latter including alimony and child support?
/r/MensRights09/08/23 02:25 AM
1

That would be interesting to see.
/r/MensRights08/08/23 10:51 PM
1

Aye, that's the rub, isn't it? It creates, not so much a glass ceiling, but an elastic ceiling that provides increased resistance as your salary increases. The pay gap is already fairly small across the federal system and non-existent for the executive level positions. At the same time, men tend to value salary in jobs (primary earner) whereas women choose flexibility jobs (YouTube family and child care roles). If this is approved, less men in established careers will choose federal jobs than wo…
/r/MensRights08/08/23 10:43 PM
1

Yes there is. Surprise! HR tells you there's no negotiation, They were often tell you you have to start at step one of your GS level. It is not as flexible as the typical corporate environment. But there are ways around it. I can tell you that first hand.
/r/MensRights07/08/23 11:13 PM
2

Ok, you have the superficial stuff down, for sure, better than I do. I wish you the best!
/r/MensRights07/08/23 01:53 AM
1

Thanks for the reply. You didn't ask for advice, but if I had any, If you are staying in the US, I would say to max out what you can do with awesome women closer to your age (and work on being the most desirable man possible) then work your way backward in age as you can. That said, it sounds like you have the mean$ to go after women as young (adult) as you want in some countries, So if that's your thing, okay. In any case, I wish you the best!
/r/MensRights07/08/23 12:42 AM
1

Any advice on how to date 20 somethings in the US when you're 40 something or 50 something?
/r/MensRights06/08/23 11:47 PM
4

Visit the dating and relationship subreddits and of course 2XC.
/r/MensRights06/08/23 11:46 PM
4

I was thinking the same about the USA. Women are much more traditional in smaller towns and cities, particularly Midwest, maybe in the South and pockets of Appalachia.
/r/MensRights06/08/23 11:43 PM
17

There's a lot of missing information here. Perhaps she did not work and took care of household stuff which would mean in court towards the 50-50 split. And perhaps the money is safely tucked away in trusts so it doesn't come into play during a divorce.
/r/MensRights06/08/23 05:46 PM
4

*sign of the owners/businesses extracting as much labor as possible from the workforce while keeping the wages as low as possible.
/r/MensRights05/08/23 01:38 PM
3

Not necessarily higher paying jobs. Nursing, teaching, etc. are relatively low pay and are dominated by women.
/r/MensRights05/08/23 01:35 PM
1

To be fair, society/culture tracks men and women into different fields. Modeling one's parents, depictions in TV shows, guidance counselors, school advertisements, etc. Look at nursing. Mostly women. The men in the field were often introduced to the field as a corpsman/med tech in the Armed Forces and stuck with it as a career. That is, a young man could choose to become a nurse but usually won't unless they have an atypical influence.
/r/MensRights05/08/23 01:32 PM
8

I imagine it also reflects the growing divorce rate and equal custody across parents. Divorced mothers can no longer sit back and collect alimony and child support and have the kids 80% of the time while not working.
/r/MensRights05/08/23 06:57 AM
1

We are a product of nature and nurture. If you want to fully understand the world, develop an evidence base and continually refine what you think you know through study. What is your evidence that female hypergamy is 100% an immutable fact of nature? I'll answer for you: you don't, because there isn't enough evidence to be so assured. You're just being dogmatic.
/r/MensRights04/08/23 04:10 PM
0

Right, my contention is that they were acculturated to want to marry up. Their daughters, if they remain upper middle class or higher, will not have the same compulsion for hypergamy in the next generation that their mother had.
/r/MensRights04/08/23 04:43 AM
1

What is your evidence for female hypergamy being a product of "human nature?" I think it is of crucial importance that we consider that "marrying up" is certainly a phenomenon but whether it is gendered depends on disparities in safety and well-being of the individual and their children. My contention is that if mom is able to financially support the child and society protects the child, she does not need to "marry up."
/r/MensRights04/08/23 04:15 AM
-1

Your post implied that female hypergamy is the default and would not be impacted by cultural change. I feel that as we navigate cultural changes and women have the freedom to earn as much as men, as you say, we need to consider that female hypergamy will no longer become desirable to women and there will be men willing to "glow up" non-status attributes in order to marry up. We'll see what happens!
/r/MensRights04/08/23 04:06 AM
-21

If more women are graduating from law school and med school for example, then how can they all marry up? I think some would say that a desire to marry up is a product of the patriarchy in which women need to marry up to create the best opportunity for herself and her children. If she is making bank then she won't need to marry up. As a result, that phenomenon will die out with patriarchy. And if certain feminists have their way, the next generation of men will be trying to marry up.
/r/MensRights03/08/23 09:00 PM
3

So I think I need to take a break off social media. It sounds like it. Folks need to consider that people want to be heard. Social media allows you to shout your feelings and thoughts from the rooftops to anyone listening. So social media represents those on the roof tops more than the typical bustling townsfolk. Spend less time on social media and more time with Real People. Continue to do the good work of exposing misandry but do it from a place of passion and being helpful, not driven by ange…
/r/MensRights02/08/23 01:34 PM
2

Thought I did well marrying a liberal, spiritual but not religious, woman with an advanced degree. Well, that did not work out. If I get married again, it will be to an educated, but not too educated, woman with traditional/Christian values around family (if I can find one to take this old atheist!).
/r/MensRights28/07/23 09:35 PM
2

That's not affirmative action. Preferential hiring of women by itself is not AA and is illegal per EEO. And AA only regards moderate-large govt contractors, unless I'm missing something. https://www.dol.gov/agencies/ofccp/faqs/AAFAQs
/r/MensRights26/07/23 03:22 AM
11

I'm not doubting that's your experience. But in most corporate environments and governments the HR folks write the advertisement, job classification etc or have a strong hand in it, to ensure EEO compliance and a demonstrated ability to attract diverse candidates. That's even before the interview and selection process.
/r/MensRights25/07/23 01:25 PM
-2

It's related but a stretch to say it is about punishing men.
/r/MensRights25/07/23 12:10 PM
-14

Can you provide examples or a news story or academic article about this?
/r/MensRights25/07/23 12:08 PM
20

It's complicated but they can have a major influence. They decide some procedural policies and influence others. Like weightings and the way applications are rated and scored. For example, in the US federal system, it is very difficult for a manager to write a job classification within the policies and in a way that limits subjectivity on the part of HR so that you actually get the best candidate.
/r/MensRights25/07/23 12:07 PM
6

Several of those are poor sources, have cherry-picked findings, have dead links, or misrepresent data. I don't blame you for not knowing that; advocates are good at obfuscating as part of creating rhetoric. Starting with the definition of "rape" which usually requires penetration. Men and women can be penetrated in their anus but only women can be penetrated in their mouth or vagina. So the gender differences in rates are hardly surprising. Also, when reading IPV stats, see if it breaks down sta…
/r/MensRights21/07/23 03:50 AM
3

I'll add that gaslighting is usually identified by an active, purposeful method of manipulation. [Edit] But it can be unconscious, too. In this case, the woman may be focused on getting what she wants and is a bad communicator. She may not be actively trying to reduce his agency but is unaware or uncaring that it has such an effect, as long as she gets what she wants. That would be a defense mechanism, calling him dumb or wrong to cover her own inability to articulate her wants/needs. Related, s…
/r/MensRights13/07/23 08:10 PM
1

Good addition !
/r/MensRights12/07/23 12:08 PM
7

I don't think feminists "infiltrated" the atheist movement, but there is certainly an association: Marginalized populations overlap and support each other. See Atheist +. LGBT, atheist, and social-justice-minded women (who feel marginalized) tend to stick together. Perceiving a threat, American Atheists and organizations representing other marginalized groups actually pulled together in 2016 to defeat the conservative Christian candidates. Many atheists are secular humanists. Secular humanism su…
/r/MensRights12/07/23 04:52 AM
-1

True!
/r/MensRights11/07/23 03:19 PM
2

Good point! I just posted something similar in parallel.
/r/MensRights11/07/23 03:18 PM
0

Thank you! This sub often has an underlying theme of "women do bad things too but never acknowledge it" vibe. Not #metoo but #youtoo, in a sense. It's understandable given the blanket vilification of men and virtue signaling in some circles. But the resulting #youtoo reaction can also be applied too broadly, which is what I think is happening with the claim of "projection" in this case.
/r/MensRights11/07/23 03:13 PM
-7

"Projection" sounds very smart until you realize that you have no basis for it and that there are probably better explanations.
/r/MensRights11/07/23 01:54 PM
-16

I'm not sure. I'm guessing that it's more about fear and vulnerability. She looks back on the time she had crushes on older men and now sees her younger self as very vulnerable and willing to do whatever he wanted. Current self feels guilty about it and, believing all those HS girls are as vulnerable to abuse/manipulation, is feeling protective of the girl and repulsed by any thought of it. She may also have a personal experience of being mistreated by an older man on whom she was crushing. In a…
/r/MensRights11/07/23 12:44 PM
9

Probably not necessarily. Many HS girls in Japan kept older "boyfriends" which helped fund their penchant for expensive handbags, etc. Many HS girls were pretty relaxed about it.
/r/MensRights11/07/23 12:32 PM
8

I'm curious, does anyone ever post stuff like this to 2XC for their information and discussion?
/r/MensRights06/07/23 05:11 AM
1

Exactly right. So does Pearl think women should have the right to vote if they are full-time mothers? From the debate alone I'm not getting her point other than poking at a feminist argument (with a counter-argument that seems to be easily rebutted).
/r/MensRights05/07/23 04:41 AM
1

Did Ava rebut that women can do those physical and dangerous jobs? I don't think most feminists believe that (acknowledging that you have come actoss some who do). I hear you that she is being hyperbolic. It could have been more clear, IMO.
/r/MensRights05/07/23 04:25 AM
-3

Pearl had two arguments about the vote and she needs to clarify. One vote per family. In that case, why does the husband get the vote? Women need to contribute equally, ie, be responsible (eg, fight in wars, work physically hard jobs), in order to have the right to vote. Couldn't women contribute equally to society in a way that is more suitable to a woman (ie, not a physically demanding job or family role)? I think Ava tried to ask that question. I appreciate hearing a woman take on these argum…
/r/MensRights05/07/23 03:48 AM
3

Wife had attended a women's college and grad program that was feminist-leaning. She was attracted to me in part because I was gender egalitarian. Come 2016 and I turned into the epitome of the patriarchy in her eyes. She shifted left, I held middle ground and a bit conservative on household finances (when we weren't doing well financially) while she was free spirited. I don't wear ribbons and such so she decided that meant I aligned with Nazis. Nothing could convince her that I remained classica…
/r/MensRights01/07/23 07:54 PM
1

Yes, I shared a link from a urology clinic because it provides a concise summary of the argument for circumcision and offers links to research studies. Thanks for posting that commentary. I read the rebuttal as well (link on that webpage).
/r/MensRights15/06/23 12:06 PM
1

I agree that there's not a strong, decent argument for circumcision. But at least I provided some research for my points. How about some research for yours?
/r/MensRights15/06/23 03:28 AM
2

Primarily, man who are circumcised have no idea what It would be like to have a foreskin. Men who have not been circumcised might have some sense of what it might be like without a foreskin, or perhaps their estimation is not very accurate. I don't know. Both those for and against circumcision have decent arguments in my mind, and research I have seen suggest that circumcision doesn't have the strong negative effects that are sometimes stated, and may actually enhance sexual enjoyment, so I'm no…
/r/MensRights14/06/23 09:29 PM
10

That's a very good one.
/r/seduction05/10/22 02:35 PM
0

Friend, why are you introducing "crime" to the question of violent behavior?"
/r/MensRights30/09/22 10:52 PM
-2

Friend, that's not helpful.
/r/MensRights30/09/22 10:33 PM
3

Top comment.
/r/MensRights30/09/22 10:24 PM
2

Why are women making choices that lead to them being paid less? Is it because women naturally care less about money then men? Or is it because there is still a lot of cultural pressure for women to look after children and do chores instead of working long hours? Why don't we change our culture then? I think you're getting downvoted because you seem to be making an assumption that the reason there is a pay gap (as a group average) is because one of those two reasons, when, in reality, there are m…
/r/MensRights30/09/22 10:21 PM
1

Thank you, be safe and be well!
/r/seduction19/09/22 10:28 PM
2

Knowing etiquette, consent, aftercare, etc... So important! I definitely fear the false accusations (in general, nothing to do with BDSM) and am pretty cautious and conservative as a result. I'm sure I missed a couple fun times along the way, but it has probably kept me out of trouble more than anything!
/r/seduction19/09/22 10:14 PM
2

Thanks for the suggestion. A woman I've been dating for a while and I have been having fun exploring our comfort limits and what fun things we enjoy that we haven't tried (I've had some experience with B&D in the past, she has not). Not sure I'll dip into the lifestyle/community or not. Just enjoying learning and sharing right now.
/r/seduction19/09/22 07:38 PM
2

I've heard that women on other OLD tend to read BDSM in profiles meaning that the guy is a pornstar wannabe and she will end up just getting treated badly. By hearing BDSM in your profile, you really limiting the women who will swipe right. Maybe tinder is different. I'd much rather connect with a woman before introducing BDSM. Some are like "YES!" whereas others are curious but need time to get comfortable with me and with letting go and enjoying it. Some are a hard "no," which you have to resp…
/r/seduction19/09/22 02:54 PM
8

Look, we don't know and you'll probably never know. She may have been crushing on you from afar, but since you don't know them, it seems unlikely. They could have been mean-girl pranking you to get off on your confusion. They could have been just practicing lines on you, a hapless and random guy. No harm intended, and what they said may be genuine. Hard to tell. So all that to say, don't get too wrapped up in it. Maybe take it as a compliment, but I'd be more inclined to take it as a random unkn…
/r/seduction11/09/22 05:45 AM
-1

I appreciate the collection of evidence, But I think it's not a bad thing to ask for more information or evidence on substantial claims like that. It's also useful information for advocacy. The way it is described sounds like an illegal practice. It's not unusual for someone to want to call out bad behavior. The paper is interesting, but it's important to consider that this is not a peer-reviewed publication, it is a senior thesis. It might be a vigorously conducted study, but Pierce really shou…
/r/MensRights05/09/22 08:16 PM
1

If it's on a date, take a read of your own energy you're giving off. I left a recent date, telling myself how boring the woman was. As I thought through it, she was actually full of energy and enthusiasm early in the date. I was really burned out from work and trying to shoehorn the date into a busy week. Once I got some sleep and brought the stress level down a bit, I realized that she was probably just matching my energy and that I was a shitty date.
/r/seduction02/08/22 02:41 PM
24

I'm not sure an excuse is needed. Seinfeld-esque tricks should never be used; you want her in an inviting mindset, not a cautious one. Just pick something that you already connected on, so it has a logical flow. "I just have to show you X" is a classic. Tell her that you need to get home and walk your dog, and ask whether she would like to join you. Use a bet for something they could only do at home, in a teasing way, like telling a bartender there's no way in hell she can make it better lemon d…
/r/seduction02/08/22 02:23 PM
1

So true. Thanks!
/r/seduction17/07/22 05:19 PM
2

Yeah, dating in 2s is best. I'd prefer a group over a double date although both create challenges in controlling the frame. But I like challenges. :)
/r/seduction17/07/22 04:11 PM
1

Good point! Probably already vetted. And if it doesn't work out? I have an abundance mentality and another will present soon. (Just came out of a r-ship so I think it's warranted).
/r/seduction17/07/22 11:44 AM
2

For a hook up I totally agree. I'd prefer it in any case. But I'll go with what she is comfortable with in this case. I've had both ways work out with mature women.
/r/seduction17/07/22 11:41 AM
1

Boom. Thanks!
/r/seduction17/07/22 06:15 AM
2

Cheers! That's exactly the path I took a little bit ago.
/r/seduction17/07/22 05:35 AM
3

Oh no, I should have specified, I'm talking trad dating. I felt it was relevant to seddit because even over text through my friend, I'm setting the frame by starting with a compliment vs saying simply, "sure I'd be happy to meet her for a drink."
/r/seduction17/07/22 01:03 AM
2

So a friend texts you and asks if you'd like to meet a woman, you say, "no, I'd rather meet my women in real life."?
/r/seduction17/07/22 12:34 AM
3

But she doesn't know that and may see it as neediness Or, perhaps, she doesn't like it. Or doesn't feel close enough to you to accept your quirks.
/r/seduction16/07/22 11:48 PM
2

For context, I am around 50 years old, the woman in question is in her 40s, and we are both divorced. We are all busy with kids, houses, and work, so there are few opportunities to just invite an extra personal along for dinner, bars, or dancing when you think they might hit it off with a member of your crew. There is also an inherent risk, that if you start dating someone's friend and things go south, it can really make friendships awkward. So, introductions are not made lightly, at least in my…
/r/seduction16/07/22 11:09 PM
1

I like it.
/r/seduction09/07/22 02:05 AM
3

And then what? Personally, I have difficulty making the shift from fun, maybe flirty conversation to suggesting we meetup again and getting a number. I'm twice the OP's age, so I have extra concern that I'd be seen as a creeper (though that is probably not necessary).
/r/seduction08/07/22 07:54 PM
4

Not disagreeing with the process, but there's nothing wrong with going after insecure/LSE women. Pulling them is a different skill-set, part of which is knowing which are more trouble than is worth. Some gals just need a nudge to develop confidence. They tend to be grateful. Have fun, be respectful, and if going for a short-term situation be honest and leave them a better person than when you met.
/r/seduction03/03/22 04:53 PM
2

Ok, man, good luck.
/r/seduction16/02/22 07:15 PM
2

Hey man, what I'm hearing from you is all negativity, call it realism is you want. I'm seeing no gratitude toward those who who are encouraging you and offering suggestions. You're saying that you are into fashion and nearly metrosexual, as if that is desired by most women (fancy-dressed is nit the same as well-dressed, which they do like). Overall, if your posts here reflect how you think and interact with people in the real world, you're not going to get women, no matter your race, height or a…
/r/seduction16/02/22 05:53 PM
4

Hey, how about start your own thread about seduction as a black dude in X country. Get tips from other black dudes. No doubt "blackness" and "ugliness" can be a liability in some circles but there are plenty of ugly black dudes pulling tail and other factors seem to be more important (personality, humor, etc.).
/r/seduction16/02/22 05:30 PM
2

We're not objects or meat. What are we, then? And how are we different than objects or meat? And if so, how should we be treated differently?
/r/seduction10/02/22 03:45 AM
2

Have you considered Google voice? Free number, anonymous, good times.
/r/seduction10/02/22 03:33 AM
242

"they are really going to hate you after tonight."
/r/seduction09/02/22 07:42 PM
2

This study found sperm in precum even after urination prior to testing. Bottom line, precum can have sperm and enough to result in pregnancy. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3564677/
/r/seduction09/02/22 04:40 PM
2

Definitely great to have a woman's perspective, and much appreciated. Great advice in your first post! That said, although hearing from women advice like have good hygiene and wear clothes that fit are useful, I found that most women do not give very good advice when it comes to seduction. They tell us what they think they want but it's often missing insight into what actually works. There are exceptions, like your advice being solid.
/r/seduction09/02/22 03:38 PM
5

Yeah. I would guess that a woman who laid that on me would have tons of other arbitrary rules I was expected to follow. No thanks. To qualify, if she said something more vague like," I've gotten to attached too quickly in the past, so I'd like us to take our time" I be with cool with that and feel it out as it goes. It leaves both of us open to expressing ourselves and escalating whenever it feels right to both of us. That's with a relationship mind, in any case. If you want to smash and dash th…
/r/seduction09/02/22 02:35 PM
1

I've heard. What I meant is that prostitution is illegal in Vegas and the county it is in. You gotta get out a bit for it to be legal.
/r/seduction09/02/22 04:00 AM
2

*just outside Vegas
/r/seduction09/02/22 03:46 AM
3

Yes. My response would be: I would first stop doing whatever I'm doing that's leading my friends to think that I like her. I don't know if they were generally trying to be helpful to you or were teasing her at your expense, but their behavior is part of the problem here, consider whether you want to respond to them as well. When my friend told me what she said I'd probably say something like, "that's a fucked up thing to say; she's a friend and I don't think of her that way." Next time I spoke t…
/r/seduction07/02/22 07:52 PM
4

Not fake. Not act. Just be confident. Her belief in your ability to take care of business (with her) is more important to her than the amount of experience you actually have. She will respond to an abundance mindset, regardless of whether you are dating zero or 11 women that day. Otherwise, yeah, no need to tell them how many anything, because it can only be a turnoff and you have no idea where her arbitrary threshold lies.
/r/seduction06/02/22 07:09 AM
2

Seems like a long game question. Can you give an example of how this might play out in a club or supermarket or whatever?
/r/seduction05/02/22 09:35 PM
2

Got the gist but could use some nuance, I think.
/r/seduction05/02/22 09:32 PM
2

I agree - authenticity is key.
/r/seduction30/11/21 08:13 PM
3

Oh, thanks. Yeah, that's obvious - I thought I was missing an inside joke.
/r/seduction30/11/21 08:12 PM
3

I disagree - as half of the conversation, you can make almost any topic interesting, especially something like astrology. You can be authentic in your skepticism of astrology and still listen to her as she excitedly tells you about it. It can be a launching pad for all sorts of discussion about personality types, sexual innuendo about the various horoscopes, etc. You can say that you are skeptical of astrology, for instance, and say you need convincing. Use it to tease her a bit about her odd be…
/r/seduction30/11/21 07:29 PM
0

Please explain.
/r/seduction30/11/21 07:23 PM
1

Think: "She won't hurt me physically." and "I can't be hurt emotionally just by rejection."
/r/seduction26/11/21 02:33 AM
2

Set a goal to do something, like travel or climbing a mountain, that is exciting to you. Something that will take prep and be transformative. During the prep phase, whenever you feel down, you can look ahead and feel excited. Set a goal to master something. Your accomplishments feel good. It may lead to other enjoyable and meaningful things like becoming a coach or being asked to give a talk. Having expertise is self-fulfilling and others find it impressive. Help others. Find a charity or event …
/r/TheRedPill25/11/21 04:55 PM
1

The way the OP presented it, it seed to come out of left field, and in any case she isn't saying *never *. Given we don't have much context, perhaps he should be asking for clarification (perhaps in a funny way).
/r/seduction01/11/21 09:29 PM
1

Maybe so. Either way, like we say, play cool.
/r/seduction01/11/21 05:10 PM
11

General note about phrasing for the ladies... "I'm not going to sleep with you" is personal; it implies there is an issue with the man being addressed. "I don't sleep with someone after just a couple dates. I really need to get to know them before considering it" places the focus on the woman who is setting the expectation. It is an expression of her values." Clearly, the latter won't be taken as offensive by the man and sets clear parameters and clarifies that there's nothing that he can do, ot…
/r/seduction01/11/21 03:21 PM
0

Exactly.
/r/seduction01/11/21 03:15 PM
3

That's meant as a response to her and not to you, btw.
/r/seduction01/11/21 03:13 PM
58

Asking someone how they are feeling, expectations likes/needs, etc. is a respectful thing that can help build intimacy and connection. It can help reduce misunderstanding. However, in this situation, she would be asking a really personal question that will probably raise defenses and likely receive a half truth in return. That is, if the man has enough insight into what he wants, anyway. And sex when? Tonight? Tomorrow? Casual only? Could you see us married? And is the man allowed to change his …
/r/seduction01/11/21 03:13 PM
4

Don't push it is great advice. She might have a firm rule about waiting a few dates and is saying out loud as a commitment to herself (because she might be tempted) and is asking you to respect her. If you want to pursue her, work on building her desire for you. By date 2 or 3 she may be DTF. If you don't want to play a long game then move on to other women.
/r/seduction01/11/21 03:02 PM
4

Yeah, take it as data, but don't think it is confirmation of anything. Keep talking and collecting data, escalate, or put sex on the backburner while you develop her desire. Maybe she is saying she won't fuck tonight but might tomorrow if you play it right.
/r/seduction01/11/21 02:58 PM
2

Thank you for sharing! What did you do when "super turned on?" What would be your advice to young women today regarding how to behave (or not behave) if they tend to get super turned on when drinking?
/r/seduction01/11/21 12:26 AM
1

She can say no then you fall back on getting her number. If she is offended by the ask, unless she completely shuts down, then you can still play the scenario for a number and getting on her good side.
/r/seduction31/10/21 04:47 PM
2

Thanks for responding to that. Women do have some disadvantages for sure and most issues are complex. The truth is in the middle somewhere. With health care as am example, there are some gender-based biases for sure, but the field works to correct them. Cherry-picking an example or two to suggest widespread discrimination and disparities is really misleading.
/r/seduction30/10/21 02:58 PM
1

Agreed!
/r/seduction28/10/21 04:00 PM
7

Sure, I get that. If you want to use the thought that "I just need to do it" then you really don't need to consider the drowning kid analogy, you just tell yourself that you have to do it, consequences be damned. The problem is that it's a scary situation because one is fearful that she will be mean, that rejection will fuck up your ego, that others will see you rejected and that it will have negative social repercussions, or any number of maladaptive beliefs and appraisals. During exposure to t…
/r/seduction28/10/21 03:54 PM
19

Glad it worked, but it seems like that is really putting that shit on a pedestal. Seems like the real thing to change is ones feeling that approaching a woman is as scary as your kid drowning.
/r/seduction28/10/21 02:21 PM
7

Sounds like you could use some basic sex education bro. Not just about condoms, but I'm guessing you haven't had much education around other aspects of sex either. Being informed is going to significantly improve your confidence with women.
/r/seduction26/10/21 03:25 PM
7

Grandma??
/r/seduction24/10/21 09:20 PM
2

I just don't see the value in denigrating hookups involving only non-sexual emotional intimacy ("better to be alone..." and dehumanizing the interaction). OP says he doesn't want it, but that doesn't make it a bad thing.
/r/seduction20/10/21 02:44 PM
-6

Sometimes guys get too focuses on seeking casual sex and forget that cuddles and attention feel good, too. u/No-Nebula-7181 might also like the cuddles and attention. He might actually like the girl. Don't know the case but he needs to be introspective and consider whether those feeling are influencing his desire to have her sleep over, despite his frustration over lack of sex.
/r/seduction20/10/21 01:19 PM
3

it's better to be alone than treated as a human shaped emotional support animal. Versus treated as a human-shaped fleshlight? Just pointing out the contradiction. Either both the OP and the woman have justifiable desires or neither do.
/r/seduction20/10/21 01:02 PM
21

Yeah, communication and straightforwardness should not be underrated.
/r/seduction20/10/21 12:20 PM
29

Honest communication is key.
/r/seduction20/10/21 12:19 PM
3

Depends on the state, in the US.
/r/seduction19/10/21 12:14 PM
2

Well put!
/r/seduction18/10/21 09:27 PM
1

Is there ever an ok time to buy a drink for a woman during an initial contact?
/r/seduction18/10/21 04:41 PM
2

You got it, OP! We've all had to let one or four or a dozen go in our minds. You'll be okay.
/r/seduction18/10/21 12:53 PM
2

I'm betting that you have a distorted, fantasy view and she's not as good of a match as your brain is telling you. If she were actually to come around and want to date you, I bet you'd be disappointed again cuz it wouldn't be as good as you thought it would be.
/r/seduction18/10/21 12:10 PM
1

A smack or roast won't work. You gotta work slowly toward self-understanding (not the same as perseverating with your head up your ass), maybe with a book or maybe with a coach or therapist. And keep getting other wins to minimize her impact. You got this man.
/r/seduction15/10/21 08:23 PM
3

And there's nothing wrong with being open with the guy about your waning interest. It's just as important as him being sensitive to your level of interest.
/r/seduction15/10/21 01:45 PM
3

Let them fill in some empty spaces in conversation instead of you leading. This can work to bring things around because she probably doesn't care at that point what you're talking about. But if she starts talking about something she is interested in and you are engaged, it can bring her engagement and enjoyment back.
/r/seduction15/10/21 01:36 PM
19

Yeah, touching is a behavior used to physically escalate and get the juices flowing. It might be involuntary with a person you are attracted to or it might be a deliberate act to try to get somebody else riled up.
/r/seduction08/10/21 10:39 PM
1

This is the way. Work on building relationships or at least social contacts and you will feel better and enjoy yourself. The sex will come.
/r/seduction05/10/21 10:31 PM
2

Agreed, and it's important to note that he provided an out to her by texting, "if you're still available..." a decent person would respond, but I'd call that a flake, not a ghosting.
/r/seduction04/10/21 04:52 AM
1

I wonder what percentage of folks lose their virginity to other virgins. I bet less than 30%, and most of those dyads were probably teens. Best of luck, but I think you have quite a challenge ahead to achieve what I believe most people would call unnecessary and arbitrary.
/r/seduction03/10/21 01:27 AM
2

Dude, need more info. That sounds terrible.
/r/seduction30/09/21 11:16 AM
5

And then tie it in with your own life experiences/interests to create a connection.
/r/seduction30/09/21 10:57 AM
2

You gotta read your audience. You can back it off a bit by substituting "eyes/dress/[a joke she said]/etc." or something else that is not sexual. Some women might just see it as a contrived line and not be impressed at all.
/r/seduction30/09/21 10:56 AM
36

You've developed the confidence to talk with anyone. Awesome. Now limit your approaches to a select few who catch your eye. Maybe don't do cold approaches at all in the dining hall. On campus, social networks make it a lot easier to meet women. Maybe join a few clubs, get to know some key women in sororities/clubs, and then leverage those for introductions. Save the cold approaches for random women off campus and in bars.
/r/seduction04/09/21 12:57 AM
2

I agree, it's duchey to tell somebody that on a fifth date.
/r/seduction03/08/21 05:11 PM
1

I think the important part of the message is being authentic with yourself and your partner. Preferably up front.
/r/seduction03/08/21 05:01 PM
2

I asked this question once in r/datingoverthirty, in the days before I got banned. The female hive mind said no. Just talk to them like a person.
/r/seduction31/03/21 10:00 PM
1

The OP mentioned that he was dancing, twice. That is huge for showing confidence and fun.
/r/seduction31/03/21 09:54 PM
3

Definitely had the experience where she wasn't interested in me romantically but would randomly contact me when bored for entertainment. But there was no depth, no meaningful friendship. She was looking to pull a toy out of the toy box for a while to entertain her. I caught on quickly that she wasn't interested in contributing to a friendship, so I cut her off. That isn't every girl and every situation, of course, so is someone else said it's important to develop the ability to assess intent and…
/r/seduction24/02/21 02:32 PM
2

Well, you're certainly right!
/r/seduction09/02/21 12:30 AM
0

I'm around 50 and am deathly intimidated to approach women under 40 (but I shouldn't be).
/r/seduction08/02/21 09:44 PM
12

Same thing. The Chinese word has been Romanized by a couple different standards, so both terms mean the same.
/r/seduction10/01/21 03:20 AM
4

If she likes you she will be interested in you. If interested she will ask questions to get to know you better. Unless she has a cultural background that taught her not to ask men questions, then she is not interested in you as a person. Maybe she likes your body, kisses, car, or attention, but not YOU. Take a step back with an abundance mentality instead of "needing" her interest and affection. Do that and the balance shifts, because right now you both want different things and only she is gett…
/r/seduction31/12/20 08:06 AM
2

Well put! We all need our partners to be supportive, but when that need overshadows other aspects of a healthy relationship, it really gets to be a drag. Hope you are now in a more satisfying situation!
/r/seduction09/12/20 03:15 AM
1

The bulk of comments suggest that isn't universal. There is probably a generational aspect, but still, that seems like a lot of texting.
/r/seduction08/12/20 08:27 PM
2

Ouch. That stinks. My ex-wife seemed to have her self-worth caught up in whether/how I responded to her texts. No matter how busy I was at work, if I wasn't timely in response it meant I didn't care. Or something.
/r/seduction08/12/20 08:26 PM
21

Her definition of a "quality conversation" highlights the neediness. 75% of text conversations had 30 or more back and forth exchanges, which she called "Holy Grail" conversations. There's no way in hell I could maintain that texting day after day. Pick up the phone or Zoom for goodness sake!
/r/seduction08/12/20 03:46 PM
12

Often because it sounds good or they wish it were true. Most readers are new to seduction and bring with them false, common beliefs, so posts spouting those beliefs receive a lot of quick upvotes. For the same reason, some truthful or controversial posts get shot down quickly by those who think they know better. Since, again, the bulk of people here are new at this, the misinformed upvotes collect quickly.
/r/seduction25/11/20 02:50 AM
1

I imagine you have googled it by now if really interested but if not, I'll tell you because IMO it's a great song. Sequestered in Memphis by The Hold Steady.
/r/seduction11/10/20 07:25 PM
3

It started when we were dancing. It got heavy when we got to the bathroom. We didn't go back to her place. We went to some place where she cat-sits. She said: I know I look tired. But everything's fried here in Memphis. Now they wanna know exactly which bathroom. Dude, does it make any difference? It can't be important. Yeah sure, I'll tell my story again. In barlight, she looked alright. In daylight, she looked desperate. That's alright, I was desperate too. I'm getting pretty sick of this inte…
/r/seduction11/10/20 12:00 PM
2

Best answer! Plus get into activities that you enjoy. Really, the OP's complaints about meeting people seem like the usual complaints of folks who are new to an area and trying to build a social and romantic life.
/r/seduction21/08/20 04:01 PM
5

If what you are saying is that sleeping around *just* to have someone in your life erodes your sense of self-worth and expectations for what you can achieve, and thus reduces your motivation to live your best life possible, then I think folks will generally agree.
/r/seduction21/08/20 03:57 PM
2

Vulnerability can present later. I don't think it is an advantage on the approach.
/r/seduction12/08/20 07:00 PM
5

Arrogant folk tend to display confidence, yeah?
/r/seduction12/08/20 06:35 PM
2

And porn isn't just used for pleasure- it can be used, like other drugs, as a temporary fix for anxiety and depression. It gets our minds off of negative thoughts and enhances our mood. The problem is that (medical causes aside) anxiety and depression is our brain telling us that something is wrong and needs changed- our environment, relationships, our way of thinking, etc. If drugs or porn is used to change our mood then we miss the cue and the impetus to change for the better.
/r/seduction29/07/20 05:07 PM
1

I appreciated your post, because lots of gals feel that a guy buying you a drink is a ticket to spin the wheel. However, less women are requiring it, because the implication (man takes care of woman) is a bit outdated, culturally speaking (even if that's how our monkey brains still work). No judgment, just info: it's your time and your call, and if you are getting the boys you like, just keep on rockin'.
/r/seduction07/07/20 03:37 AM
3

He is not actively trying to make a move or take charge. He is just orbiting the gal, staying just close enough to be available in case she wants him back.
/r/seduction15/06/20 10:34 PM
17

Why do we know this is true? Because we've all experienced that realization that a woman we have known for years is suddenly attractive after she loses 10 lbs and dresses to show it off. Don't think that women are any different. It could be looks or charm or status or whatever. There are things you can do to change your attractiveness.
/r/seduction06/03/20 06:40 PM
1

It also makes her feel closer to you make sure feel more confident in trying to grow a connection.. I recall a gal slipping in the conversation that she like guys with dark hair and hazel eyes (me). Clearly messaging interest. I didn't feel any sexual frustration, just confidence that further escalation on my part was desired, or at least acceptable.
/r/seduction03/03/20 05:28 PM
3

To have a good time: 1) put anxieties out of mind. Better yet, work on better management or actively trying to eliminate what is anxiety-inducing. That will help you be in the moment. 2) Don't just think of yourself as "the man" if you are not. Average dudes should definitely have realistic confidence, though. 3) Get down the basics of hygiene, attire, and social skills. It doesn't matter if you're on the spectrum, you can still be nice to people and get their interest. 4) Do things that are int…
/r/seduction03/03/20 05:20 PM
2

I think it is most accurate to say that nearly all women have the desire to be ravaged sometimes. Whether they are comfortable having that experience with their Prince Charming is another matter. Some women are comfortable getting ravaged by a life partner,, whereas others feel uncomfortable sharing what they regard as a dirty fantasy with their partner. Still others are not comfortable with the idea of having uninhibited, raw sex at all. Clearly, I'm talking about the kind of sex in which the m…
/r/seduction25/01/20 05:24 PM
1

Glad to hear you confirm that you were actually seeing someone. I wasn't sure if that was legit, and that's the only part of this that gave me pause. Great job!
/r/seduction22/01/20 11:30 AM
7

Me too. It does a great job at keeping the ladies away. j/k
/r/seduction19/01/20 02:19 PM
1

I'll defer to the PUAs from here. To my amateur eye, in the US, I would think you should have moved it along to sex by now (6-7th meeting?). Best wishes!
/r/seduction18/01/20 07:49 PM
1

She probably did have a good time. And she flirts cuz that's what girls do to keep up man's attention. It doesn't mean she has sexual or romantic interest. Your questions are about how to get and sustain her attention. Getting and sustaining her attention it's just the road to something else.. What is your end game? What is your goal? Hook up? Long-term romantic relationship?
/r/seduction18/01/20 03:58 PM
2

My guess is that eiher she lost interest because she "read your book" or you didn't progress things to romance/sex when she was ready. If you want to ramp things up, you have to rebuild the interest she had when you started out. The other thing of course is to keep improving your game and ability to read the situation. Good luck!
/r/seduction18/01/20 01:45 PM
2

Works for me!
/r/seduction17/01/20 06:48 PM
1

I agree that those who are interested invest in the conversation. I was primarily responding to the idea that who carries the conversation is a matter of gender.
/r/seduction17/01/20 05:41 PM
3

Since you are a women you won't have to carry the conversation, the guy will do most of the work. In my experience, men who approach lead/direct the conversation but an interested woman will carry the conversation by providing detailed answers and asking questions/ making observations (I see you have a bike rack. I bet you are a triathlete.) in return. If the woman initiates, the roles are reversed, at least until the exchange gets going.
/r/seduction17/01/20 12:36 PM
45

Looks like an interesting exercise for building trust and intimacy while having some fun. Not meant for taking seriously: the interpretations are hogwash. Read some instructions that specify that one should be very flexible in the interpretations to keep things light and fun and build a little mystery.
/r/seduction14/01/20 01:39 PM
0

It's on my list, after the not giving a fuck book, currently on my bookshelf. Does this article distort or mislead from Models? Clearly it can't possibly be in as in-depth.
/r/seduction13/01/20 01:32 PM
3

I haven't read Models yet but much of it was a good read: approachable length, good reminders. Kind of a checklist for things I think I'm getting right and still need to develop.
/r/seduction13/01/20 12:01 AM
2

Dudes, there is no need for illegal shenanigans in seduction. "Don't take no for an answer is not in the playbook!"
/r/seduction12/01/20 04:13 AM
2

A parallel example, the marketing/ad world gets more useful info about what people /want/ from observing actual consumer behavior than from surveys/focus groups. I would add, though, that women are entirely qualified to tell you what they /don't/ want, as long as the /context/ is clear (i.e., she likes it from her boyfriend but not from rando Tinder date). Humans are more aware of noxious stimuli than pleasant. We just automatically move toward what we like. We naturally move away from noxious s…
/r/seduction07/01/20 08:08 PM
2

I think he just means that hot women are more likely just to say yes or no and be clear about where you stand with them. They are less uncertain about themselves, typically but not always, and so can gauge quicker where you fit in with their agenda.
/r/seduction04/01/20 08:09 PM
3

I agree. I've "practiced" on women I'm not particularly attracted to, and got myself into a couple of awkward situations. Not so nice for them either, in the end. Further, attractive women still make me nervous as fuck so practicing with unattractive women have had little if any positive impact on improving my approach.
/r/seduction29/12/19 06:49 PM
4

Given your Reddit post history, I think you'd benefit from psychotherapy. Not for porn addiction per se, but for moving yourself in the direction you want in life. Best wishes!
/r/seduction29/12/19 06:46 PM
3

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. 1-800-273-8255
/r/seduction29/12/19 06:43 PM
1

twoxxchromosomes is supportive and sometimes fits the bill. But I still find that there is still a somewhat hostile tone and cancel culture stuff. I hesitate to generalize, because it is a busy and diverse sub, but I've been down-right worried about some of the messages supported there.
/r/seduction26/12/19 04:06 AM
5

Same age and was in a similar position a year ago, although I had to see her and her BF regularly. It still pesters me but I'm in a better place cf when married to her. Best wishes-you can't control everything, but it gets better if you take ownership and make things work! Good luck!
/r/seduction12/12/19 09:26 PM
4

Hang in there. You are young and have the chance to move forward and explore many things in life with a life experience most haven't had. Use it to your advantage; it's a resource. It will get better!
/r/seduction12/12/19 09:22 PM
1

WWCD (Clooney)
/r/seduction11/12/19 06:09 AM
1

My question was more about what is "casual" if designer hoodies and expensive sneakers are "dressy." I guess casual is just less expensive shoes and hoodie in your area. If you want a different view of "dressy" check out AAAC and StyleForum. Whatever works for you.
/r/seduction11/12/19 06:08 AM
11

Okay, then what is dressing down casual? I mean, is there something between wife beater with dirty sweatpants and bomber jacket with hoodie?
/r/seduction10/12/19 10:32 PM
0

Well said. "Feminism" can be confusing as it is defined in waves. First wave, or classic feminism, was about raising awareness and fighting for equality. Many current feminists follow this line of thinking The modern third/fourth wave is much more forward with pro-woman attitudes like "the future belongs to women." The whole social structure is stacked against anyone who isn't a white male. The tenets tend to be unfalsifiable. Those folks are way more aggressive.
/r/seduction09/12/19 01:30 PM
7

I remember when I was a younger man women would occasionally grab my bicep or find a reason to poke my abdomen. It was a pretty forward approach to vetting but I guess it worked for them. Not ever being buff, I'm sure I missed opportunities. Now single again and in my 40s, it happened again last week. I'm still in okay shape, but it's motivated me to get back to the gym and build some muscle.
/r/seduction08/12/19 11:45 AM
1

I don't think this dude was saying he was the OP...
/r/seduction07/12/19 02:06 AM
1

Thanks for the added perspective. Sounds like you had good instincts and nailed it.
/r/seduction29/11/19 09:44 PM
2

That is a fair analysis.
/r/seduction29/11/19 03:45 PM
1

I'm not rejecting the day game/cold approach at all. I should be more specific. Maybe there is a translation issue, but the approach, particularly the comment about the her being an exhibitionist, seems a bit creepy. In the US I think that would turn off all but a specific subset of girls. Second is whipping out your Johnson when she was declining progression. I know that could work 20 years ago and would work with some girls today, but under #metoo girls are getting conditioned to take that as …
/r/seduction29/11/19 12:58 PM
2

Congrats and thanks for sharing. What country? I feel like that wouldn't go over as well in the US.
/r/seduction29/11/19 04:02 AM
11

Sounds like you have good awareness. That's a start!
/r/seduction26/11/19 06:09 PM
19

If you are developing feelings for someone through just texting, you have to back that off. Your mind is probably filling in lots of gaps regarding who you think she is. Keep a casual mindset until you really get to know her. Two months of texting is a long time. There is no reason to wait that long to get together, unless you want to have a fantasy relationship and avoid potential failure when you meet. Don't do that to yourself (or her).
/r/seduction26/11/19 03:53 PM
-22

Making nice chit chat doesn't mean you've made a romantic or sexual connection. So it is great and pro-social, but isn't necessarily useful for getting the girl.
/r/seduction25/11/19 02:21 PM
1

Good point, though I'd prefer to pull gals without it resulting in angry rants later. I will explore further...
/r/seduction21/11/19 08:19 PM
1

Agreed. I don't know how one could cope with the volume issue, bur when someone does, it will be huge.
/r/seduction21/11/19 06:41 PM
3

I think what is needed is a hybrid of discussion forums, which usually have the newest comment pushing a thread to the top, and reddit, which defaults to top comments of the moment.
/r/seduction21/11/19 05:55 PM
12

Sounds like she was so sexually into you that she scared herself off or needed someone to blame for her weakness that made her feel guilty. I think you could definitely get with her again, but she might have some dangerous personality quirks.
/r/seduction21/11/19 12:34 PM
9

I really hope most women don't always think in terms of numbers like this. I think most women (and men) are self-conscious about their own rating/value and take feedback as an indication of their worth. Rejection stings, at least a little, regardless of how many matches you have. It can shake your confidence in whether you can match up to those other "7s" expectations. A "whatever" attitude is not true acceptance but a defense against being hurt.
/r/seduction21/11/19 12:26 PM
7

There is nothing more socially isolating then those fucking self scan machines. Always hollering at you to put your items in the bagging area, place the item back on the scanner and wait for the attendant, i d check required, make sure you have your receipt, etc. Not even an automated have a nice fucking day.
/r/seduction16/11/19 10:21 PM
1

"fantasy involving negativity" Thank you,that put it concisely.
/r/seduction15/11/19 05:05 AM
2

I don't think anyone in the history of baseball has said that batting is just a numbers game. Of course, you have to respect that you're only going to get a hit only 3 out of 10 times if you're good. If you just focus on swing swing swing swing swing, you never going to hit 3 out of 10. The focus needs to be on improving your game.
/r/seduction15/11/19 02:34 AM
19

By "smooth" he is just meaning "not awkward." I think you have a picture of someone who is disingenuous. Being sincere and honest and real is a big part of what is promoted on this sub.
/r/seduction14/11/19 05:46 AM
8

There is also the message that "it is a numbers game" which gives the false impression that a guy should boom boom boom move through approaches quickly to increase your chances.
/r/seduction14/11/19 05:33 AM
1

Thanks for the response! Quite an interesting life.
/r/seduction08/11/19 05:15 PM
1

Good to hear, thanks!
/r/seduction08/11/19 05:08 PM
1

The basics are the same, but... A 45 year old guy isn't hanging out bars where there's a lot of young single people. Women perceive men differently by age and changes in looks that comes with that. A 30yo guy has a lot in common with 25-35yo women. A 45yo guy is not going to have the same shared experiences and interests, and a younger woman may be looking for different things from an older man than she would with younger guys. An guy has to adjust to that with age. Your social set is different …
/r/seduction08/11/19 01:57 PM
1

Care to expand on that? There are nuances to Game.
/r/seduction08/11/19 01:25 PM
1

So having kids and not being wealthy means you're out of luck?
/r/seduction08/11/19 01:24 PM
25

That is a really important point. You don't have to be a classic beauty to be charismatic and draw people in.
/r/seduction08/11/19 01:20 PM
1

I appreciate the response. I was intrigued by your abundance and noted you live in MX. Same rules and experiences as if you lived in LA or Akron?
/r/seduction08/11/19 01:59 AM
1

Yeah, age of the gal certainly matter I would think. My sense is that most women younger than, say, 33, don't normally see guys over 45 or so as an interesting or viable dating partner. So perhaps playing up assets like wealth and drawing from your life experience to interest them and make them laugh becomes more prominent then trying to lure them with your biceps and virility. Not to mention, a 33 year old single mom is definitely looking at things differently than one with no kids.
/r/seduction07/11/19 11:00 PM
11

Maybe you are not in a large enough place to meet random women often. With that acknowledged, you already know something about a woman as soon as you look at her. For example, you go to a grocery store and you see hey woman. You can tell within a second a few things: * Is she likely married * her age * She likely lives nearby and prefers that store over the competition (for example, she is in whole foods vs. Safeway) * Tattoos might be a conversation * What she's wearing tells you something abou…
/r/seduction04/11/19 10:59 PM
4

That is super insightful. Best of luck. Sounds like you know what you need to do to get your shit together. You'll be fine.
/r/seduction04/11/19 02:50 AM
12

Not bluffing. More like the other guys at the table have deeper pockets, but you have the option to work on your skills and come out the better player.
/r/seduction29/10/19 12:12 PM
1

What he's referring to is called "grounding." That might help with your Google search.
/r/seduction29/10/19 03:40 AM
1

I think you are aware of how to inquire about his values and share your own. No need to play around.
/r/seduction27/10/19 07:40 PM
1

Regarding being "corrupted..." Thinking about sex as "corruption" may reflect your value system. But consider that sex can only be defined as "corruption" by the woman, it is not something done to her. Another view is of sex, whether out of marriage or not, in positive terms, like physical enjoyment, exploring one's own sexuality, and building a relationship. This is my own secular values talking, but I think it's a lot healthier to think of sex in those positive terms, rather than through a sys…
/r/seduction27/10/19 07:33 PM
2

Youth and innocence is attractive, per about a million coming-of-age books and movies. Some guys don't want to chase and nurture a relationship with an innocent and chaste gal because it is too much effort for little chance of return. Others have values that lead them to believe that they should pursue chaste, inexperienced women. Still others are enamoured and will love the chase. They don't typically fantasize about it or focus on "corrupting" women. They are just attracted to the woman and gi…
/r/seduction27/10/19 07:25 PM
3

As others have said, you need to first figure out why you want to go out with him at all. In yiuyr mind, is their really opportunity for a LTR? Jesus put himself out there to be tempted in the wilderness and came through the other side clean. Some Christian women using dating as their own temptation against their virtues. I hope that isn't what is going on here: be honest and up front without waiting for him to make a move.
/r/seduction27/10/19 07:12 PM
2

So, you realize that your attitude is bad for your overall well-being and has to change for you to have game, right?
/r/seduction19/10/19 01:09 PM
2

For some guys even the approach for directions is crushingly difficult. If the guy needs a few weeks to comfortable with it, then in the long run, he won't miss the few weeks from his life.
/r/seduction19/10/19 12:50 PM
1

So what's your next action/step to get there?
/r/seduction19/10/19 12:48 PM
1

MTB is very social, at least in my area. Not as many gals as guys, but the gals who ride are a lot of fun. If you want a better mix of gals, join a running club. Lots of fit (and not so fit) gals in them, esp. if it is something like a marathon training group. In my mid-sized city, the groups/meetups often have side activities as well, like organizing hiking trips and travel to running races out of the area.
/r/seduction16/10/19 03:51 AM
35

Sorry, but that gal is not worth my effort, IMO.
/r/seduction14/10/19 03:01 AM
2

It depends on how your "friended" before getting into a romantic relationship and how well your SO knows the people in your social circle before you started dating. Still, your relationships must change when you are in a committed and likely long-term romantic relationship. You will trim off acquaintances and often your relationships with your closest female friends will become a bit more distant, at least until your new romantic relationship stabilizes. Then there are external factors such as m…
/r/seduction13/10/19 07:06 PM
1

This reminds me of the Husband Help Haven material (good stuff), particularly about the role of respect. If a woman doesn't respect you, she might screw you and spend time with you, but you won't have a good, lasting relationship with her.
/r/seduction13/10/19 03:17 PM
3

Do you know that the women in relationships cheat because their boyfriends "have changed" or "they're not the men they use to be"? That's one reason. That is also a catch-all excuse women use when they want to move on, for whatever reason.
/r/seduction13/10/19 03:12 PM
1

On average, to most men, a woman at her best at 23yo will physically be more attractive than a 40yo's best. You can't quite compare maturity and wisdom across ages nor culture and lived experience. So what do you find more important and attractive? You do you. It's all good.
/r/seduction03/10/19 03:42 AM
-1

Dear thirty-six-year-old women redditors: not all guys agree with Dave Chappelle on this one.
/r/seduction02/10/19 09:41 PM
3

Don't sweat it. Lots of opinions on here. There are tons of 20 year old women, I say women, who are more mature than guys twice their age.
/r/seduction02/10/19 09:39 PM
2

i.e., no "mansplaining."
/r/seduction02/10/19 01:19 AM
0

Not joking. We must run in different circles. My comment is a reaction to the (many) women who claim that they dress for themselves, not to evoke reactions from others. It is a belief that demonstrates lack of awareness of how appearance impacts others (or, selfish stance that others have no right to have a reaction). You mentioned underwear. Consider the successful marketing phrase, "Victoria's secret." What is her secret? Who is it a secret from? That lacy bra would not make a woman feel sexy …
/r/seduction01/10/19 04:40 PM
-1

Often women can't admit to themselves that when they feel good about what they're wearing, it's because they know, in the primal part of the brain, that it will attract men and/or intimidate the competition and/or put them in a social tier that increases their chance of getting a good mate.
/r/seduction01/10/19 01:04 PM
3

You are practicing acknowledging thoughts then letting them go, as said, to dissipate. We don't need to, and really shouldn't, distance ourselves from worries, anxiety, our conscience, etc. Meditation just helps us put those pesky automatic thoughts aside and focus on the moment.
/r/seduction29/09/19 04:19 AM
6

Or maybe she needed the thrill of the chase, night out, and some attention, and that's what she got. A kiss and lovey dovy texts are polite pleasantries while she is thinking what to do with you. She decided to move on. But that wasn't your question: it was whether you should have made a move. The answer is yes if that is what you wanted. Be as clear as you need to be to make sure you understand her response. In the future, keep working on reading body language, etc. to get better at reading sig…
/r/seduction28/09/19 02:01 PM
3

Take helicopter lessons. Meet beautiful helicopter pilot. Fall in love. Have family.
/r/seduction28/09/19 01:49 PM
9

Look around you look at how many unattractive men are married. Even happily married. To a happy wife. Did she crush on him from afar? Maybe. If not, how did he woo her? By chance he seduced her using skills and attitude discussed in this sub? Did she "settle?" I don't know, but love has a way of developing based on even the sliver of desirable characteristic (muscles, humor, hairline, kindness, money, confidence, etc.).
/r/seduction28/09/19 04:47 AM
2

Bingo. One can also chase the virtuous life to the point of suffering, like the poor Christian who beats themselves up over occasionally coveting someone else's ox or donkey. But following general humanistic virtues like compassion and gratitude is pretty easily attainable, feels better than trying not to covet (for example), and is prosocial.
/r/seduction25/09/19 03:34 AM
1

Wow, sounds like you are living an interesting life!
/r/seduction25/09/19 01:43 AM
4

Eudaimonia is essentially the satisfaction and peace from living a virtuous, purposeful, and meaningful life. Hedonia is pleasure. Eudaimonia is associated with sustained well-being. You are oriented toward a higher purpose that keeps you going through hard times. Hedonia is fleeting: what makes you happy today may not cut it tomorrow. So if you are oriented toward hedonism, you are always seeking seeking pleasure and avoiding its loss.
/r/seduction25/09/19 01:42 AM
3

Sounds like you are in a good place. Gratitude/thankfulness is a virtue (and makes your life better). Edit: sp
/r/seduction24/09/19 03:43 PM
5

You realize, he's talking about being in a monogamous relationship, and it sounds like you've got an open one, yeah? Big freaking difference.
/r/seduction24/09/19 12:34 PM
1

Get into their lives by doing things that they do.
/r/seduction24/09/19 12:33 PM
5

I'm in my 40s now, and my testosterone is finally low enough that I can start working on talking to attractive women!
/r/seduction24/09/19 12:30 PM
9

eudaimonic > hedonic
/r/seduction24/09/19 12:18 PM
1

Thanks again! "Dysfunctional" is a bit strong, but I get your gist. Just no seducers or salesmen in my family as role models, I guess! There was no open adjacent table or I would have grabbed it (the issue was that we each had a pint of beer [yup, it was a coffee/beer/ice cream joint] and were at tables outside of the zone designated for alcohol, so a barrista asked us to move). Probably hard to picture the scenario, but the advice is still sound. Thanks!
/r/seduction23/09/19 10:43 AM
3

The last paragraph captures it all. As I think about it, my family/cultural background includes a lot of brief, cordial chit chat with strangers which is a brief pleasant interlude but not meant to shift the trajectory of anyone's goings-on. Being on the receiving end, it seemed weird and even creepy if anyone tried to continue the conversation. Huh. In my mind she was cordial but there was no presumption that I could just sit down and join her. As soon as she took a table I was again entering h…
/r/seduction23/09/19 12:38 AM
0

This brings up something very interesting. Central Pennsylvania gals, and gals who would go to PSU, aren't the same as those who go to City schools like Pitt, Temple, etc. Women are women, we all have our basic needs, but the sophistication, savvy, in the way of looking at the world is just enough different, that I wonder how does seduction approach discussed here will translate. I would love to hear someone report back.
/r/seduction22/09/19 03:00 AM
2

I really appreciate the feedback! Thanks! So, last item... The thing that you don't understand is where I FU every time. So we are standing at a table she selected and making small talk. My brain assumes she has her table and wants to get back to her FB or whatever. I need a way to transition from chit chat to "we are having a conversation." I think that negative thinking can be overcome with a prepared script/approach: a simple behavioral modification approach of thoughts changing through tryin…
/r/seduction19/09/19 03:21 PM
1

hard to say no scratch that. I'm sure she could say no if she wanted to. She's a big girl.
/r/seduction19/09/19 12:41 PM
2

Great advice, thank you. Yeah, insecure. Good self-esteem but lacking confidence. Recently divorced and never really developed game when I was younger. In my late 40s so worried so sensitive about coming across as a creep if talking to, in this case, a ~26-32 yo woman. I'm a well-educated, in decent shape, average looks (told I'm above avg by my fans). Although clearly "older" I tend to come across as younger and dated a 36yo for a bit. That's the background. The interruption: yeah, I blew it. I…
/r/seduction19/09/19 11:43 AM
3

Thanks! The opener was funny and she was receptive, but we were asked to move by an employee and it broke the exchange. I didn't recover the flow and we took separate tables. After several minutes I worked up my courage and a plan to get it going again. So I approached her table. She had said earlier that she was a competitive "X" which is an uncommon sport, so I used that. I said something like, "excuse me. I found myself unable to focus on my book. I was just so curious and fascinated about ho…
/r/seduction19/09/19 04:15 AM
4

How does one ignore the folks around you listening in? That happened to me last time I approached a gal at a coffee shop. I suppose the manliness is in ignoring it (unless a response is called for, or you can joke about it to ease tension), but man, it was distracting.
/r/seduction19/09/19 02:48 AM
1

Worked for Nick Tortelli
/r/seduction16/09/19 05:51 PM
1

How about age? Where you meet gals?
/r/seduction16/09/19 05:42 PM
1

How about age? Where you meet gals?
/r/seduction16/09/19 05:42 PM
1

How about age? Where you meet gals?
/r/seduction16/09/19 05:42 PM
1

How about age? Where you meet gals?
/r/seduction16/09/19 05:41 PM
1

How about age? Where you meet gals?
/r/seduction16/09/19 05:40 PM
1

How about age? Where you meet gals?
/r/seduction16/09/19 05:40 PM
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