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HappySnowGirl Archive

View 9 posts and 232 comments by HappySnowGirl on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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17

You guys aren't a good fit and you're not that into him. It happens. Learn from it and do better next time.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/15 01:38 AM
2

I'm honestly curious, what are the specific qualities in your husband that you don't think you could find in a monogamous guy?
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/15 11:33 PM
5

Happiness is a choice. People are about as happy as they want to be. Live your life as you want, but I think this is really bad general advice, so I'm not going to let it go without commenting on it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/15 11:31 PM
2

I have two goals this week. 1) Exercise for at least 20 minutes each day. I'm naturally thin and active but I need to do some specific stuff just to tighten everything up a bit after 3 kids. 2) Wake up earlier and make time for morning devotions, prayer, meditation. It just puts me in a better frame of mind and makes each day better. I don't generally don't sleep well because of caring for very young children and in the past I've always chosen more sleep over exercise or morning devotions.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/15 02:31 PM
2

I have a low-drama life, and a no-drama relationship. My husband is my emotional support when I need good advice. If I'm just emotional and he can neither fix it or provide good counsel, then I just enjoy physical closeness with him. Sometimes that's sex, but a lot of times he can wrap me up in a bear hug and it hits my reset button. I share my actual problems with him, not stupid drama. I don't burden him with an endless stream of female hysteria. To me, this is how the relationship provides em…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/15 05:25 PM
38

MRP = the blind leading the blind, but dang is it ever entertaining to lurk there.
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/15 05:05 PM
22

For the love of Pete - thank you. When I read, "Man here", my reading brain immediately starts to blah, blah, blah and I just skip to the next comment.
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/15 05:02 PM
2

You are a jerk on the inside because you are so indulgent of your feelz. I'm guessing that you allow yourself to wallow in destructive thought patterns and aren't nearly as outwardly respectful as you think. Or, maybe you're really bad at picking men. On the bright side, if you're just a jerk, identifying that is the first step to recovery, provided that you actually want to change.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 12:47 PM
2

You can choose to treat him with respect, which is the first step to changing bad habits. And we're not talking about any man, but the man YOU chose to have a relationship with. You're behavior is jerk-like because you are being self-absorbed and waaaay over complicating the simple act of being tolerant and accepting of your SO.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 12:20 PM
3

You just used a ton of words and psychobabble to describe being a jerk. If you want to respect a man, then respect him. So much of your behavior and thought pattern is controllable, so work on rewiring those parterns. I seriously doubt your problem is that you have low self esteem. This whole thing is a humble brag.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 11:57 AM
6

And I'm telling you, that between you and another guy who is your identical, except he has appropriate boundaries with women who aren't his significant other, the RPW chooses the other guy every. single. time. It's just the wiser choice. A wise, attractive, young woman knows she has those kind of options.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/15 02:08 AM
4

Ability to travel is a perk, but I think a RPW is interested in a hard worker who can put food on the table and a roof over her head. She doesn't trade fidelity for financial perks. Even if he doesn't cheat, this trip broaches emotional infidelity. That's why my personal opinion is that he's just not that serious about the relationship. If he were serious he wouldn't put his girlfriend in this situation.Maybe he's a super monogamous guy who ends up dumping her before he leaves. I just don't thin…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 11:15 PM
2

It's not that he shouldn't go. It's that he's a bad bet for a LTR for a RPW.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 06:48 PM
3

I do have guy friends and always have had. Some of them never hit on me and some of them did, but as long as we defined the terms of the relation we managed to remain friends. Also if my boyfriend would get jealous about me having guy friends, it would be a very nasty thing indeed, because why would someone who loves me put me in a position where I'd have to choose? That's fine if it works for you, but this is not RP.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 05:17 PM
8

I don't think anyone disagrees that the guy will choose his lifestyle over the girl. Our point is that this guy is not a good bet for a LTR because he does stuff like take a couples trip with another girl while he has a girlfriend at home. Edit to add: What you call naggy, I call a reasonable, not at all outrageous, pretty standard expectation for a committed and monogamous relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/15 12:08 AM
4

It probably won't get that far anyway. These aren't the actions of a man whose serious. If she doesn't bring it up, he'll probably end it before he leaves.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 10:13 PM
4

It doesn't matter where he is going, because there are women everywhere. There are cars everywhere, too, but I'm not afraid that I'll get hit because I stick to the sidewalks and crosswalks. Her SO is standing right in the path to get hit by a bus.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 10:08 PM
7

Maybe YOU do, but have you met most other people?? This situation could go either way for OP, but ultimately I think he just doesn't see a future with her. The whole thing is strange.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 06:56 PM
16

How long would you go without sex before the hottie you're sharing a room with started looking like a good option? Less than three weeks? Add alcohol to the mix for good measure.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 06:50 PM
6

To be fair, a group of friends is different than one single attractive woman. How long will you be there? How long is it acceptable for you to be without sex? Realistically, how long could you share the privacy of a hotel room with an attractive and willing woman before you were tempted? Before you gave in?
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 06:49 PM
14

I would guess the bottom line is that he's just not that into you. I doubt this circumstance would arise if he were thinking of a future with you. I'm sure some will disagree, but I think a 38 year old man who wants marriage has a pretty good idea after five months whether or not there's a future there. Then, consider this: He's a man who will be traveling without you, either alone, and possibly with eligible women. I'm not making a judgment whether this is "right" or "wrong" behavior, but it is…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/15 06:38 PM
10

The biggest impact you're likely to have on society is raising good citizens (your kids) by providing a safe and stable home.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/15 10:12 PM
4

Kids that age can sweep, wipe the table after meals, set the table, sort and fold socks and wash cloths and small towels. They can feed pets, dust baseboards, put books on a shelf, toys in a box, put away clean silverware. They want to help. Get them started now and you'll have the help for years to come. It doesn't matter if the work is sloppy or imperfect, just that they are doing it and enjoy being a helper.
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/15 07:58 PM
1

That is an awesome tip. My gums get sensitive after three consecutive days, so I will switch to this technique.
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/15 03:21 AM
1

Yet not as dreadful as dying alone.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/15 05:50 PM
1

Maybe you need to become a more serious person. Your responses make you sound like a silly girl.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/15 05:49 PM
1

I am truly shocked at the amount of women on here who think getting married is their first and foremost priority - more important than first securing your own life is on track. My God the harsh words i have read throughout this thread - its ridiculous and not positive at all. I smell troll.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/15 05:44 PM
11

I don't want to get married now however I would in our late 20's if we're still together. Don't kid yourself. You're not that young and your twenties go by fast. What I quoted speaks to your current attitude and frame of mind, and could be part of the reason why your SO isn't sure about you. After 3.5 years, what's the point of more waiting? But that's moot because he told you plain as day he doesn't want to marry you. Sounds like you don't want to marry him either, you just want him to want to.…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/15 12:54 PM
28

I've also become very outspoken when it comes to my opinions when it comes to traditional gender roles, and I'm not concerned with what my moreso progressive friends think. Your inner joy and peace will speak for itself. You don't have to be outspokenly opinionated. Another word for that is obnoxious. You know your friends are progressive and you're trying to bait them. You can't be upset when they bite.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/15 11:40 PM
1

If your man has a strong opinion on make-up, obviously honor that. However, I think it's worth adding that most women in their twenties, who are at a normal weight and reasonably healthy, look pretty good without makeup. This is not necessarily the case as you age. So, go barefaced for now, and reevaluate as the years go by.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/15 04:59 PM
1

Am I reading this correctly that this breakup happened a year ago? You got knocked up. That wasn't smart, but what's done is done. If you want to stay together for the kids then you have to leave the past in the past. I'm going to diverge a bit from the rest of the advice given and say that he isn't required to divulge all his secrets to you, or explain his past relationships and breakups. When you broke up, he didn't have to tell you why. I'm sure you have things you keep to yourself. Maybe he'…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/15 04:27 PM
8

That's great that it worked out for you. Your advice isn't terrible, but you are using a lot of words to make it sound like nurturing and validating, when the undercurrent is "me, me, me." I still think it's in the OP's best interest to get out of her own head and shift focus to her SO. Edit: I don't think you and I disagree except you keep saying things like this: but this new twist in how he initiates and involves himself in sex has me violently turned off". Being violently turned off is a per…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/15 03:58 PM
7

Actually, it's the solution for an imperfect world. He is never going to be perfect, and neither is any other guy. If she's in it for the long haul, there's going to be times when the sex isn't all about her. This is small potatoes, and probably short term. They aren't married. If this is that big a deal then just move on and let him have sex with someone who isn't turned off by him when he's having a rough patch.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/15 03:34 PM
4

She should have sex with him when he wants sex. Bottom line. If she develops resentment, that's on her.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/15 03:14 PM
10

People saying "just roll with it!" don't understand that what he is doing is having the same effect on you as if you suddenly came home with a strap-on and wanted to peg your SO. If that is true, then there is little hope that she will ever have a successful relationship. He's a human being, not a sex toy. What he is doing is the same as if she had a baby and needed a little help with the housework for the first few weeks. It's called love.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/15 03:00 PM
11

You are only thinking of your own perspective. Your man has had a rough few months and needs a little TLC. Give it to him for Pete's sake. I understand that this may not get your motor running as quickly but you are not the only person in your relationship. Consider what he needs. It may not solve your issue, but an attitude change is a MUCH better first step than critiquing his bedroom performance. There are ebbs and flows to any relationship that lasts longer than a few months. You gotta roll …
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/15 02:35 PM
10

Do you plan on putting career before your relationship indefinitely, or do you envision a time when relationship will come first? Why would your SO want to be in a relationship where he's second fiddle in your life? Why do you want to be in a relationship in which your career is more apealling than your man? What exactly makes you a "team", as you refer to it, if you're living separate lives? Not snarky at all, but genuine questions you may want to answer for yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 09:17 PM
7

When I'm being a brat (AWALT), I make sure my attitude is gratitude. It's easy to accept and serve my hubs when faced with a list of all the amazing things he does everyday. It's nearly impossible if I'm looking a list that I generated in my own selfish mind of all the things he doesn't do.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 07:31 PM
17

Why are you grieving when you have total control over the situation? You can be with your SO; you're just choosing not to be. Hard choices are a big part of adult life. You choose your career over your relationship. Just be honest with yourself about it. You are not a victim here. Having to choose between two things you want is the norm, not the exception.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 05:51 PM
11

This post does not make your SO sound overly sensitive to me. It does, however, make you sound nit-picky and unable to let unimportant things go.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 02:35 PM
2

I understand, but she risks making her husband very angry at her which doesn't help her cause.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 04:41 PM
2

BTW: If her H doesn't know about this affair - or if you even suspect he might not - it is best practice to inform him - blow the affair wide open. This could also come across as retaliatory or petty. OP has enough on her plate with her own marriage without worrying about the other woman's.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/15 02:58 PM
1

Now you cheerfully go about your evening, with your kids and whoever else. Enjoy yourself, be pleasant, have fun. Your husband is not responsible for your happiness. Do tell him you feel sad. Mention your feelings with no agenda or expectation, and only occasionally. When you are together, do mention things you like about him and are thankful for. It may be hard at first, but you can start with, "I'm so glad you're here," or, "I'm enjoying this time so much." It's possible to be authentic and pl…
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/14 02:54 PM
2

My plan is to offer him the 6 months that he wanted with the exception that he has to end it with her and work on us and likely seek counseling. If he says no then I have the number of an attorney and will begin the process immediately. From what you've posted so far, it seems very unlikely that he goes for this deal. Slow down. Swallow your pride. Listen more than you speak. Readjust your expectations. Think long term. Remember that you have zilch, zero power over him. Let him eventually choose…
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/14 12:59 AM
3

I agree, don't share a bed. That's a good boundary. But I wouldn't make any demands beyond that. And be very, very careful how you word it.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/14 12:32 AM
0

Careful, you're not really in a position to make ultimatums.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/14 12:10 AM
4

Having seen other women go through this and handle it terribly, here is some advice on what not to do. Don't air your dirty laundry to anyone who will listen. Choose one good confidant. Don't hold this over his head forever. Quietly work on forgiveness with the understanding that this marriage is over. If you are to preserve the relationship it will be as a brand new marriage with a new understanding of how to relate to and care for each other. If you want to try and save the marriage, commit to…
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/14 05:10 PM
4

Some sympathy is appropriate. Fidelity is a reasonable expectation. Still, this is like when I tell my kids not to jump on furniture. When they fall and smack their head, I'm sympathetic to their pain, but I also tell them that this is why we don't jump on the furniture. Personally, I will digest this and use it as a cautionary tale. I hope she can win him back.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/14 04:56 PM
0

Huh. Another INTJ here. Interesting.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/14 03:04 AM
2

I don't have a suggestion beyond scarves and turtlenecks, but DO dress to highlight your best features. Wear a dress that belts at the waist or skinny jeans that show off your real figure. I think this may fall into the same category as "don't cover a zit" (because it actually draws attention to do so). I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm sure it's very difficult, particularly because it's your face. Try to remember it's temporary.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/14 01:29 PM
19

I actually like that song - it's catchy. And, I do agree that it's 'all about the bass'. But in reality, 'bass' is a round ass and tits rather than just being a lardo.
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/14 03:19 PM
1

I do know women who have switched allegiances for their husbands. I'm not going to, but I've always thought it was probably an appreciated gesture.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/14 03:49 AM
1

Because my husband just joked (or "joked" ) that if I were a supportive wife, I'd be cheering for his team. I'm not going to, but I will admit the merit to his argument. I'd say it could definitely be RPW-related if your spouse takes sports seriously. Edit: I'm just starting a light conversation, but by all means delete if it doesn't belong. It's MNF couples night for us and I'm a few deep. :)
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/14 02:10 AM
7

This is anectodal, but I only have sex within committed relationships and I slept with my husband on the first date. I don't know if that is smart or dumb in the larger picture, but when I met him, I knew it was all over for me.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/14 07:39 PM
2

You know we can read your posting history, right?
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/14 02:09 PM
2

WooHoo!
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/14 11:54 PM
4

I'm laughing right now, just from this hilariously awesome thread.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/14 09:24 PM
6

It was always on my no list. How can you forbid gas? Is he allowed to poop?
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/14 09:21 PM
12

Do you have kids? I dare you not to laugh the first time one of your babies loudly rips one in public. It's just a fart. If a man can't fart comfortably in his own home without being shamed and ridiculed, I feel sorry for him. Thank you for this. It reminded me to check my priss face next time my husband spends forever in the loo. ;) Edit: My husband watched people come out of my vagina. It's only fair that he can fart whenever he wants.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/14 09:15 PM
11

For me, success is finding joy in spiritual maturity and strong, healthy relationships. I also want to just generally have my shit together.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/14 07:49 PM
1

You stop tolerating inappropriate thoughts. Many people don't realize that they control their train of thought. Harness your mind and rewrite your inner dialogue!!
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 07:44 PM
8

asking if I was really being unrealistic You are being unrealistic.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 07:38 PM
9

I'm not being hostile, I'm being truthful. What did you expect, a bunch of applause? You are unhappy with your boyfriend because you think you can do better than him. You aren't breaking up with him to test that theory because you are fearful that you will NOT be able to get a better man. The second that a better man pays some attention to you, you will branch-swing again. I'm old; I have seen this happen hundreds of times before. I can see your future. This pretty much sums it all up. Copy this…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 07:37 PM
3

Your concerns are not that special or unique. You are just like every other woman on the planet, and your Fear of Missing Out will never change, no matter who you are with, unless you work on yourself. The secret to contentment is gratitude. Look at what you have instead of peeking over the fence for things that you don't have. You will never, ever have it all. There will always be someone out there who offers something new and exciting. The grass is greener where you water it. Study and practic…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 07:32 PM
2

Yup, gaming your husband is fun and productive. You may instead call it flirting or foreplay, and for us it starts from the minute we get out of bed. No, it's not quantum physics, but sometimes in a relationship, particularly one you've been in for a while, it's hard to see the forest for the trees. You sound very skilled with relationships. How many years have you been married? Looking forward to you adding all of tour expert advice to the sub.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 02:31 PM
27

Y'all laugh, but I can't tell you how many times I was about to be raped, but then the guy read the cute little message on my panties and realized that I didn't even want to be raped. If only all women had these underwear, we could end rape overnight, because this product totally has something to do with the actual motivation behind rape.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 12:20 AM
2

Hmm...she says she does this once a week, but if the hair is dark wouldn't you have to do it daily? I'm always looking for a new solution for my "granny hairs," lol.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/14 06:59 PM
2

This is so true. And it's interesting, when I stay silent enough to examine the impulse to criticize or control, I realize that what I really fear from my husband are what I perceive to be my own weaknesses. I'm afraid of my own 'to do' list becoming out of control so I want to nag him to stay on top of his own. I'm afraid of making waves or appearing foolish, so I want to encourage him to keep his mouth shut when he feels compelled to speak up. If I were running my mouth at him instead of just …
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/14 02:13 AM
4

Consider whether you're wanting actual advice and assistance or just an emotional dump. Sometimes your SO is the right person to go to with your emotions, but not for every itty bitty little thing.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/14 02:40 AM
1

I think positive reinforcement is accurate. But really, it's just saying what you mean and meaning what you say, then following through with it. We women get so caught up in mind games that responding enthusiastically to something we actually like feels suspicious.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/14 01:59 AM
1

I wanted to respond to your comments on the initial thread but never got around to it. If I remember correctly, the poster was intentionally behaving enthusiastically in a way that reinforced something she had clearly told him with her words. To me, this isn't manipulation at all.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/14 12:55 AM
4

I think I'm just expressing myself poorly. What I'm trying to say is that a woman who is already willing to put the needs of a cherished loved one ahead of her own will adjust better to early parenthood where she will constantly have to put her own wants on hold to take care of the baby's needs. This is a sign of maturity and perhaps the one area where an older mother is at an advantage. That being said, there are plenty of selfish post-wall spinsters. So I'm basically talking in circles. :)
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 11:45 PM
1

Absolutely no sarcasm at all. Sorry that it came off that way.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 09:48 PM
4

My former partner suffers from depression and insisted while breaking up with me that nothing was wrong with me or the relationship, but rather that he has an internal time limit on how long he can maintain interest in a woman and that he felt his depression was keeping him from falling in love If you are interested in settling down soon, look for men who are willing and able to be in a healthy, committed, long-term relationship. This guy is not. How did your other relationships end? Is it possi…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 09:09 PM
9

LOL - yes, she was, actually. Like, literally, he does poop in his pants sometimes.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 09:00 PM
3

Personally, I think picking the right person to have kids with is more important than how old you are, although sooner is better than later, all other things being equal. You should also work out your selfishness in advance, but if you don't, the baby will do it for you!
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 08:58 PM
2

It was a fine age regardless, but I also see no point in waiting unless you just want to. I was happy to have kids when I did, and I also would have been happy had I been younger.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 08:47 PM
6

I was married when I was 24. I don't necessarily regret the timeframe in which we had kids, but I don't think the 'waiting' advice applied to me either. Things are going very well for my family, but I do think I would have had at least one more kid if I had started earlier. I love being a mother, and I think being a mother has made me a better person in every other relationship I have, including being a wife. Also, I don't think women realize how much energy it takes to raise a child, not to men…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 08:46 PM
5

I received the common advice to "live a little before you have kids" and to "do and buy the stuff you want before you aren't able to" or to "just enjoy each other for a while before having a baby". But the truth is...aren't I living right now? THIS is my life, and it's a very good one. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you aren't living. And there will always be stuff you can't do or buy for a variety of reasons, regardless of whether you have children. Also, my husband and I are enjoying …
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 08:26 PM
9

She's only four, but the gist I get is that she's calling another kid "poopy pants." So, not acceptable behavior, but also nothing to panic about. With my oldest, I would have gotten all worked up for sure. One of my personal goals for 2014 is to chill the feck out, and it's had an amazingly positive impact on my whole family.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 07:48 PM
8

I had my first baby at 27, and if I were to do it all over again, I would start my family even younger.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 07:39 PM
10

I think women overestimate how hard they work compared to men because men don't constantly complain about how hard they have it. Also, women factor in what they've given up for their careers and misrepresent it as hard work. Even if they've voluntarily chosen to back burner family for their career, it feels haaaard and unfair and reinforces their perceived underdog status.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 05:12 PM
6

You have already received some excellent advice. I also have three kids similar in age to yours. I'm not in school but I'm probably over committed to some of my volunteer activities. These are just a few things that I do. I've asked my husband what is most important to him. He wants a good dinner at a reasonable time, clean clothes, and a wife who isn't too tired him after the kids are in bed. He'd rather have a messy house and a naked and willing wife than a pristine house and an unconscious wi…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 05:08 PM
3

My husband's wants and needs are above the kids' wants but not their needs. I really like how you phrase this.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 04:49 PM
2

I got one from her. Haven't been on reddit for a few days so only just saw it.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/14 01:17 AM
3

If I could give my younger self advice, I would focus on two things: First, I would tell her that's it's okay to be vulnerable. Get that chip off your shoulder and let your softer side shine. Just be open and genuine and accept the results, good or bad. Don't be so driven by ego and pride. I would also tell her it's okay to try...because it's okay to fail. You have to put yourself out there if you are ever to reap the good stuff of life.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/14 01:14 AM
1

Most simple requests (and even some big ones) are covered by a little respect and gratitude. Both free, yet priceless.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/14 08:16 PM
3

Married 10 years and the sex is hotter than ever. :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/14 12:18 AM
3

My first thought is that he is insecure about you improving your appearance, like others have said. Although, I do want to mention that when I adopt a new habit, my super-secure hubby lets me know that it's fine for me, but he's not getting rid of his beer and steaks and still expects me to be a fun companion and not that girl who never eats. It's possible he's afraid that healthy you will try to take away his fun habits.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/14 08:52 PM
9

Do you want to stay because you have invested four years? If so, you should move on. Do you want to stay because, despite his indiscretion, you want to spend your life with him because you think he is a man who will be a good leader for you and any future children? Things to consider: Do you think he'll do it again? Do you care if he does it again? Can you trust, respect, and follow a man who does not seem to act with your best interests in mind? If you expect fidelity in the future, what eviden…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/14 04:13 PM
2

Women get a bad rap for good reasons, but I see it from a perspective that they have been lied to also. Yes, women seem to reap the benefits of these lies about rights and equalities, but I suspect that they suffer from a lack of joy and contentment as much as the men do. Do you think your wife was any more joyful than you were during those 20 years? I'm not talking about momentary bouts of happiness about getting her own way, but achieving actual deep joy and contentment? Probably not, but she …
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/14 02:36 PM
38

You forgive him because he is a human being and we are all flawed. And then... You move on because you are young, unmarried, childless, and your captain has poor impulse control (or, worse, he intentionally humiliated you in front of your friends). If it were me, with 10 years of marriage under my belt and three kids who love their dad, I would have to forgive him (see my point about all humans being flawed above) because that is what I accepted when I decided to get married. You don't carry tha…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/14 02:19 PM
3

Please let us know the results!
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/14 11:26 PM
1

I want to get organized for back to school. I'm going to go through my kids clothes from last year to see what no longer fits or needs to be replaced. I want to make a detailed list of what we need instead of just "winging" it this year.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/14 07:16 PM
5

I'm very aware of the power of my butt ;) I have my very own version of the "bend and snap" except mine is just a bend. My husband can't help himself. He will go way out of his way just to give me a smack. :) Foreplay starts from the minute we get out of bed in the morning!
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/14 02:49 PM
13

To be honest, two months isn't a very long time, especially if you are in a LDR. I tried my hardest to help him be more of a man for him, first and foremost, and also for me. I just don't think he's capable Two months isn't really trying your hardest. Explain "trying"...a lot of letting a man lead is about NOT doing stuff, creating a vacuum. It's about 50% "doing" (nurturing, serving, indulging) and 50% "not doing" (nagging, nitpicking, complaining). Can you really ever "help" a man be a man? It…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/14 02:46 PM
8

Even though you have adopted better behaviors, your reputation with your SO is still one of a selfish woman. Reputations are not build overnight, and it will take time to rebuild yours. Luckily, since you are getting married, you have the rest of your life to work on your reputation. A few years of bad behavior are but a blip on a 50+ year marriage. Keep in mind also that your man is probably not sitting around analyzing your relationship dynamics like you are. He's doing his stuff - working, ta…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/14 04:13 PM
1

He just didn't want it. Said he'd never wear it.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 01:37 AM
6

That's a valid counterpoint, and probably what he would say if he could articulate it. Doesn't make it any less disappointing or hurt my feelings any less.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 01:34 AM
1

As soon as you tell him how you feel then hug him and continue life, he will think about it on his own. I really want to do this. I hate talking feelings with him, because I know it makes him uncomfortable, and then we both feel uncomfortable, and nothing productive happens anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 12:08 AM
2

Thank you for the good advice. I'm in a pickle now because at first I was a little shocked and maybe in denial that the issue upset me and now it feels silly and unproductive to bring it up. I don't think I'm going to sound like a bitch, but I also don't expect any sympathy or remorse from him. He's kind of a stoic. I'm stuck in between understanding that it is ridiculous for him to keep a gift that he didn't want and being grateful that he was honest with me, and being deeply, genuinely hurt an…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 12:03 AM
3

This is the exact advice I would give someone else, yet here I sit, grinding my teeth ;)
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/14 11:57 PM
2

LOL this cracks me up. Short and to the point. Thank you. :) I mean, this pretty much sums it all up, right?
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/14 11:48 PM
5

I'm not accusing you of holding those feelings against him. My point is you should have forgotten the day by now To be fair, we only argue once a year on average. We were at the beach house. It's hard to NOT remember that. The date wasn't important, just illustrating that it's not like we're at each other's throats usually.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/14 11:45 PM
2

'm not exactly sure what you're expecting him to do either way? That's part of the problem. There's really nothing he can do at this point. I just want him to know I'm hurt. I'm not saying that's honorable or "right" but that is my honest feeling/desire at the moment. I'm trying not to act on it. :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/14 11:41 PM
2

You are manipulating him and trying to dominate him by acting upset I didn't see it that way, but yes, I guess so.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/14 11:40 PM
2

What three things happened? What did you do/how did you react after each instance? The item that started it was that he asked me to return the gift that I gave him for our anniversary. It was a sport coat that he had admired, and I kind of put this presentation together saying that it was symbolic of this next chapter of our lives. Now that our family is complete (we had our last baby last year) we can get back to putting time into wining and dining each other. When I asked him when he was free …
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/14 11:38 PM
2

We all come to the dating table with pluses and minuses. The biggest favor you can do yourself is acknowledge that men aren't psyched about raising another guy's kid. That's not to say you can't find a man who will love the both of you, it just means you're not entitled to him. Focus on what you can bring to a relationship that is unique and wonderful. Make yourself a valuable potential partner. As a side note, be very careful to never play the "woe-is-me" Single Mom Martyr card. I have a friend…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/14 01:00 AM
1

I'm not quite as busty as you, but I'm rocking some killer nursing boobs right now so I understand wanting to look cute while accommodating the girls. 1) Buy high quality bras. Have a good strapless and racerback or convertible bra. In fact, just buy higher quality clothes, period. Quality over quantity. 2) If you're showing cleavage, show less leg. 3) Work on your posture. 4) This has been said elsewhere, but it's so important: Find a good tailor! Edit: Stupid typos
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/14 12:46 AM
1

I'd love flair. This is the only sub I really frequent. I've been around for a few months, but I'm sporadically active. I try to only comment on that which I can add something new, unique or meaningful. Is it tacky to ask for flair? It feels like a faux pas! :-P
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/14 12:37 AM
16

I'm not denying the benefits of youth, but stuff like this makes me so glad that I'm an old married lady with other old married lady friends.
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/14 04:47 PM
2

Couple of thoughts: 1 - Don't ask questions you don't want the honest answers to. You pushed your BF into a conversation that he didn't want to have. 2 - You've received good advice already, I'm not going to add to it. 3 - If your weight and height stats are accurate, and you work out 4 - 5 times a week like you claim...you should be rockin' a tight little body. Go ahead, lose the 6 - 10 lbs. It's not really that hard and it's good for you. It sounds like you have worse eating habits than you th…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/14 01:37 PM
3

Recently my husband's godfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer and told he has a very short time left to live. So, not a work issues, but I'm reflecting on that grief to think about how I react to him being emotional. I tend to gauge my emotional reaction to my husband's work and personal stuff based on his own reaction. So, if something like what you describe were to happen, and he says, "[X] happened and I'm 'slightly distressed' about it," I would certainly be concerned for him. I'd offer…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/14 02:06 PM
1

It is what it is. You can also work on setting boundaries with your parents and getting your driver's license/working on anxiety issues. Just keep moving forward and always be improving. You're only starting out in true adulthood. I actually speak from experience. It took me YEARS to set appropriate boundaries with my parents, and half the battle is just knowing that you need to do it. If you're going to live away from public transportation, you need a driver's license, too. Make it happen. This…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/14 11:52 PM
2

I wish I were a people pleaser. It would make my life easier. :) I don't consider myself a submissive person. I'm only submissive to my husband.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/14 09:28 PM
3

I have three daughters. The best thing I can do for them is model a healthy relationship with my husband. I openly admire him and defer to him, and teach them to respect him. Someday they will come to me with questions and I will answer as honestly as is appropriate for their age. We aren't afraid of the sex talk in this house! :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/14 09:26 PM
4

in my mind, a man would be more likely to reject a girl as LTR material if she had a huge amount of debt than if she lives with her parents Maybe, maybe not. I will defer to the gentlemen on that one. I imagine there is an middle ground between racking up major debt and living at home. Your current situation is not working. You aren't just living with your parents. You are living with your parents who are unpleasant to your boyfriend AND INVOLVE THEMSELVES IN HIS WORKPLACE. Serious red flag. Abs…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/14 09:23 PM
24

From how it reads to me, he has put a lot into this new relationship, and you...not so much. So far (from what you describe) he's racked up a lot of miles on his car, put up with parent drama, and felt threatened at work in order to date a girl with an anxiety disorder who lives with her parents. What do you bring to the relationship to offset these negatives? He may be looking for you to give a bit more. You are 23. It is time to start making steps to become more independent. Create a situation…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/14 08:04 PM
1

That's good to know. I've tried Crest White Strips but I can only do it two days in a row before my teeth start to hurt.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/14 05:51 PM
1

I have a friend who swears by oil pulling. Maybe I should try this first. The reason I'm undecided on Invisalign is that I also had braced in high school but my teeth shifted ever so slightly over the years. They aren't perfect anymore, but I'm not sure that it's bad enough that anyone but me notices. Obviously I should have worn my retainer ;)
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/14 05:43 PM
2

Why not just make it a point to wear it? What's the point of giving/receiving a gift if it's just something you could have/would have purchased for yourself anyway? That's just doing someone's shopping for them rather than gifting from your heart. Think how good you will feel when you wear his gift with consciousness and intention. If it's something you would have chosen for yourself then it could have turned into an unconscious act. In this situation, it become s a conscious act of love that yo…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/14 04:39 PM
2

Wake up with husband, then lounge around in bed enjoying the peace and quiet. Up around 6:30, so I have about an hour to myself to accomplish anything I'm working on just for myself. Sometimes I stay in bed because I know my kids will climb in with me eventually and that's pretty sweet. Everyone needs breakfast, dressed, groomed, packed up for school. Leave the house at 8:45 for school. Have the morning to unload the dishwasher, some laundry, prep what I can for dinner, maybe run an errand, play…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/14 06:54 PM
3

A woman with any sense at all has her nipples packed away in a high-quality, supportive bra...so they aren't tickling her kneecaps when she's 50.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/14 06:44 PM
1

My husband does happy hour with work people about once a month and does a boys' weekend about once a year with high school friends, but other than that we do a lot of couples/family activities together. Since becoming RP-aware I've tried to encourage him to do more things with his friends, but he kind of shrugs and agrees, but keeps to business as usual. I feel in the past I've been unconsciously unsupportive of his guy activities, not because I need to be with him every second or am possessive …
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/14 06:20 PM
13

Every time I feel sad because of some Lady Hate over on TRP, I'm going to think of those links. I can't imagine what it feels like to have that kind of contempt thrown at you just because of your gender. Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Because, sure, the reason a very tiny miniscule percentage men rape women or rufie drinks is because they just were never told not to during college orientation. Yup, that sounds right.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 10:37 PM
2

Our eating habits have always been completely out of sync. When we were dating, Tums became a new food group for me. Now that we're married, he's still a meat and (fried) potatoes kind of guy. Think bland, bland, bland and fried. So I compromise. I make a full healthy meal of stuff that I know he'll like, and then add on yummy veggies or more exotic things that I like. Since we have kids, it's important to set an example of a balanced diet, and I'm so impressed with him. He eats stuff he really …
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 03:08 AM
8

A lot of us are snatched up by the time we're 25 (from my experience).
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 03:01 AM
6

Being a first mate to the captain I love and trust makes me happy, my husband happy, and my kids happy. I could fight for some social cause, I could struggle to be right all the time, or I could just be happy and at peace. I choose happy and at peace. Also, I'm skeptical of people who want to better the world but aren't interested in bettering themselves. (Feminists)
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 03:00 AM
2

but it embarasses me to have a BF who condones of things that could endanger us (could be caught for posession, use, health effects and whatever else may be involved As it should. That's good judgment, nothing to apologize for. This is why you date a person for a while before you marry him. This was a red flag. It's not a deal breaker, but tuck it away in your brain. If these red flags accumulate, then this was a bad investment on your part. However, maybe he'll go forth and the coke issue will …
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 02:46 AM
3

I think he doesn't want a massage but doesn't want to come out and say so. Who even remembers what their massage therapist looks like. Is this a male trait?
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 02:23 AM
2

This is only going to work on a certain type of MIL, but see if you two can workout/eat healthy together. If she gets into it, it will change how she cooks, which is helpful if you must live with her. Focus on eating healthy and portion control. You can't exercise your way out of a crap diet. Losing weight is the #1 way to improve your appearance.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 02:20 AM
3

WW is the way to go. All three pregnancies I've used this and never felt much like I was dieting. Recently I wanted to lose 4-6 lbs and wanted to do it quick and dirty on the cheap, so I used My Fitness Pal instead. Same concept, no redonkulous restrictions, but free.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 02:15 AM
5

But it does signify poor decision making which isn't a good trait in a Captain. It's not a deal breaker if it's in the past, but definitely in the negative column.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 02:09 AM
1

I've obviously had too much wine tonight. I replied to you above but to myself because I'm a drunkass apparently.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 02:00 AM
1

I'd just say that you'll take the massage for yourself, since there is no way to guarantee a "hot" masseuse. Offer to give him one yourself at home. Just curious - does he go to the doctor? Because a physician would have to touch him to give an exam. Do his doctors have to be "hot" females? What about a physical therapist or a chiropractor? None of those touches are sexual so I don't see the relevance of appearance. I'm not a guy though, so what do I know.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 01:59 AM
1

What kind of massage parlor is this? Sounds like he thinks he's getting a happy ending or something, lol.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/14 01:11 AM
16

There's nothing wrong with having boundaries in your relationship. Illegal drugs are a reasonable boundary. However, you have choices in how you express yourself. Did you get hysterical or bossy right away or did you express yourself gently and firmly? There's a difference between clearly telling him how you feel about something and trying to dictate how he should behave. You SHOULD assert yourself so that he knows your exact opinion on drugs. But know that ultimately he's free to do what he wan…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/14 12:55 AM
1

You never know, it may end up being a situation where the more you agree with him, or at the very least don't challenge him, he feels less inclined to defend his position so intensely.
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/14 08:58 PM
1

As I get older I'm starting to realize I wasn't "right" nearly as often as I thought I was. I try to take an "agree to disagree" approach to most things. I've read where you've said you feel like you're being accused of something you didn't do? Do you feel comfortable being more specific? The best advice I can give is just not to escalate the situation. Don't necessarily agree with him if you truly disagree. Take the time to consider his viewpoint, and maybe just calmly state that you don't agre…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/14 08:09 PM
4

Uhhhh, do girls actually like guys spitting in their mouth and eating cum off the floor? That sounds pretty fucking gross. No. The rest wasn't too off base, but those two things are ridiculous.
/r/TheRedPill23/05/14 03:28 AM
8

When I got married I kept my maiden name as my middle name. I've recently started thinking about changing my name again so I have my original middle name and my married name, and just discarding my maiden name altogether. It has nothing to do with my relationship with my father or the rest of my family, which is great. I just think that holding onto my maiden name was a way of resisting the total surrender of marriage and joining myself 100% to my husband. He's never said anything about it, but …
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/14 03:16 AM
2

I think refusing to take his name shows that you're not really "all in". My husband would not have married me had I refused to take his name. To him, it would be symbolic of the part of me I was withholding from him, and he was only interested in committing himself to someone who was also committing all of herself to him. Smart guy. One of the reasons I love him. :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/14 03:11 AM
2

Ha! This cracked me up! Honestly, when I look at any catalog I receive in the mail, almost everything they feature in the men's section trips my gaydar. :) I'm kinda partial to men who can wear a suit well, but keep it a little country at home. A man should look like he either just rotated his tires or chopped down a tree. ;)
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/14 12:24 AM
2

End up with weird stuff like paisley, and purple under shirts That makes sense. I can admit that I've done this and received a "hell no" from my husband. Think purple shirt and paisley tie. :)
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/14 10:59 PM
2

I definitely see what you're saying, but it says something only if the man in question sees any relationship between the clothing that to him simply serves a function and his personality. For a man who doesn't care about clothes, he's not being ornamental. He's just going about his day and protecting himself from the elements. It's not like he's rolling up his skinny jeans to show off his loafers while rocking a vest and tipping his fedora. There's nothing wrong with that look, but that's not th…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/14 09:22 PM
1

Tell me more. How can you tell? I'm curious.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/14 07:51 PM
1

I think that's an important distinction. When I'm shopping, I'm definitely picking styles that look good to me and he is comfortable in. My brother was engaged to a girl who tried to dress him like he was Justin Beiber. He looked and felt ridiculous. Needless to say, they never made it down the aisle. There's a difference between providing a service to him that I also enjoy doing and trying to shape him into some other person like he's a J.Crew Frankenstein monster.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/14 07:44 PM
9

Are you controlling or leading? Control is based on fear. Is she allowed to have an opinion? A leader claims the responsibility of being the ultimate decision maker but does consider the wants and needs of the woman he is leading. Are you caring for her or just bossing her around? There is a thin line here. Yes, you want to end a relationship with someone who is trying to subvert your authority, but it is a bit controlling if every time she disagrees with or tests you, you threaten to end the re…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/14 01:32 PM
1

Finally, while you’re criticizing, go ahead and ream him about his family, too. They are just the people who raised him for all these years. This line gave me a little punch to the gut. There are some unpleasant things about his family that are just truth and there is no point in sugar coating it. However, this is a reminder that I can take it down a notch next time something happens. My dramatics aren't making anything any better.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/14 01:17 PM
5

This is a Christian blog, but I think it applies to any marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/14 02:15 AM
1

I'm super into the entire line of D. This is an awesome chart.
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/14 04:23 PM
2

I zoned in on D2 right away - that looks exactly like DH!
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/14 04:23 PM
3

I've decided to only wear thigh-high stockings from now on because DH loves them. But I want the kind without elastic at the top and depend on the garter belt. I can't find them anywhere.
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/14 12:20 PM
2

I'm really sorry that you didn't witness a happy marriage growing up. That is really unfortunate, but it's also not the great indicator of whether or not you can have a good relationship for yourself. You aren't a victim. You can make your life and your self anything you want it to be. Just stop thinking you are at the mercy of your circumstances. If you want love, marriage and family, dedicate your time to learning more about how to make that happen. Become friends with people who are good at r…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/14 02:25 AM
1

I don't swear much because I just don't like the way the words feel in my mouth. I think it's really unnatural to me, in that it feels contrary to my feminine nature. However, I make up for this by saving f-bombs for true doozies. I feel like using it sparingly lets everyone know I really mean business when I let loose. I talk like a truck stop whore in the bedroom, though. :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/14 02:21 AM
10

What I don't understand, not specifically about you, but about anyone who claims a tumblr or blog is a personal diary, is how is that even possible? If it were a personal diary, it would be personal. But what you've just described is public. Would it change anything if you kept your diary private, for your eyes only? If I followed you on tumblr, Facebook, whatever and I saw you post what you described, I'd definitely roll my eyes and dismiss it as a cry for attention. But I don't understand how …
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/14 02:17 AM
13

I want to go back in time to slap 20-year-old me and tell her to put on some damn SPF 80.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/14 12:40 AM
1

I've been wondering about this myself. It seems like both sides are represented her fairly equally. My husband has a habit that drives me BANANAS. Sometimes I find it so off putting that I am unattracted to him, but in a very temporary sense, not in "We need to talk/I'm not attracted to you anymore" kind of way. I've considered saying something about it, but that would almost be worse somehow. Like he immediately kowtows to whatever I want, which is even more unattractive. I think I will just ac…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/14 12:33 AM
5

I'm a practicing Christian. I've seen Scripture twisted to support women working and women staying home. Even the Proverbs 31 woman works. I don't think God is overly concerned with that either way so much as he wants faith and family first in our hearts and priorities. Things that get in the way are ambition and desire for material luxuries. I stay home and take a submissive role because it's key to my personal happiness and my family's wellbeing, not for a great moral or ethical purpose.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/14 01:14 PM
3

I replied further up, but can you share specifically what you would like her to do more/better?
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/14 12:37 PM
10

I'm a hot mom of three (if I may humbly say so). My hubby is the captain and I don't see any excuse to be fat, sloppy, or mean. I'm sharing this just so you know who I am and how I live. However. Try throwing up for two months straight, even though all you eat is bread. Sometimes you do it in the kitchen sink because you just catch a wiff of the trashcan or the refrigerator. Try being so tired that you can't even lift your arms (this is my personal homemade pregnancy test -- "I can barely lift m…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/14 12:34 PM
9

Coffee shops, farmers market, grocery store, subway, friends' backyard BBQ, big league baseball game, park, gym, 5k race, the beach, weddings. Stay away from the club scene and stick to a wine bar or small pub. If it looks like a meat market, it is. Not Tinder.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/14 10:30 AM
2

I HAVE to switch my kids dressers and closets over to summer gear and move the baby's clothes up a size. I should do my own dresser as well, but that is a bit ambitious for me!
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/14 10:58 PM
10

Didn't this song come out like seven years ago? I will assume that her feminist outrage is so intense that she has literally been struck speechless since 2007. Edit: Also, has she listened to ANY rap music during that time frame?
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/14 12:34 PM
1

if you have a high value, you can ignore any request by your SO, I completely disagree. I don't think that is how you should treat people you love. Please don't misinterpret what I'm saying in that way. When it comes to settling down, we want someone we feel like we would enjoy starting a family with. Someone who would be good with the kids and good for us. If by that you also mean that you want the same woman for the rest of your life, and so does she (and she's willing to put in the work), I c…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/14 02:42 AM
5

I didn't necessarily think you were trolling. I feel that when a person has been happily married for a long time, and is posed your question, the answers all seem obvious. Like, why wouldn't you want to get married? My life is awesome! That's my female perspective. I feel like it's hard to answer the question and satisfy what a man is really asking, particularly after I read some of the responses from men on this thread.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/14 01:49 AM
3

Grow up, First of all, that was unnecessary. I'm saying that if this has to be said: "Look X, it's extremely important for me to get married, I just don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to get married", ...and it becomes a process of negotiation, I don't think the cream-of-the-crop women are interested in marrying that guy. And they don't have to, because they are cream-of-the-crop. And, I'm also assuming that guys want the absolute best girl. Maybe I shouldn't assume that. What does b…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/14 01:44 AM
1

Why would a woman want to marry a man who she has to push into it? I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but if we're talking about value in marriage, we have to start the conversation with high-value people. In the scenario yoy propose, neither parties are high value because the woman is nagging and the man was able to be coerced into marriage. As far as questioning the benefits to a child of an unbreakable marriage, that's where the good woman aspect that you have rejected comes into play.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/14 12:06 AM
2

bad marriage stories are easy to tell, happy marriage stories are impossible to tell Whoa. Good one.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 10:58 PM
4

Don't get married if you can't see a benefit to it, who cares. LOL, I retract my response. This is the only correct answer. :) Even as I was typing my long ass spiel, I'm thinking, "I feel like I'm being set up."
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 09:13 PM
6

Then don't get married. It doesn't matter one way or the other to the high value woman, because that woman doesn't want to start a family with a man who is afraid of getting (or just doesn't want to get) married. It seems circuitous, but the truth is, the kind of this woman you would want to marry is not going to try to convince you. I admitted that I was not directly answering the question, that is totally true. If a man wants to get married, the key is to pick a good woman. Obviously men aren'…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 08:48 PM
4

I can't wait to see the comments as they roll in. I assume the readership is mostly male so the comments will be mostly positive, but women will try to tear her up. (As their sad un-blown husbands huddle in the corner.)
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 08:05 PM
1

But, if you have the woman, you're thinking about marriage and you're doing that kind of math...to me, that in and of itself is a big sign saying you shouldn't be getting married. There is room for intelligent risk analysis, but the decision should be driven by something softer and warmer than that.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 07:56 PM
3

I'd go a step further and say to pay attention to how her mom treats her dad. A family can be anti-divorce but still treat each other terribly.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 06:34 PM
4

"What God has joined together, let no man put asunder." A marriage is also the starting line for the leaving and cleaving part of the husband-wife relationship. You leave your family and childhood behind and cleave to your husband. You are his, he is yours, you are one flesh, and it starts at that moment and lasts forever. The boundary is clearly defined. That part of marriage doesn't get a lot of press. It's all sex, honeymoons and registering at Crate & Barrel.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 05:44 PM
2

If a person is scared of marriage, then that isn't the type of person I would marry anyway. Yup, pretty much.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 05:40 PM
1

Urgh, hipsters are the worst. There is nothing less sexy than your stereotypical hipster dude.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 05:20 PM
2

Maybe he wasn't using it as a positive or a negative. It could have been an observation. My husband is flabbergasted that I have no ambition, but it doesn't make him love me more or less, it just is the way it is. Tuck it in the back of your mind in case he says something else later, but if this was an isolated incident, i wouldn't spend too much time on it. A second possibility is that there is something larger on his mind and this was a comment that is expressing his frustration but isn't exac…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 05:15 PM
20

I think a lot of hysteria gets thrown around in RP Land about the potential risk to a high-earning husband when he gets married. This isn't addressing your question exactly, but the best thing you can do to lower your risk is to pick a good woman. Pick a woman who believes in marriage and who believes that real love is a choice and a decision that you make daily, not just a whim or tingly lady parts. Don't pick a woman who confuses love with lust, sex, money, or getting her own way...although so…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/14 04:47 PM
4

How old are you? Are you paying for this yourself or are you asking your dad to pay? Why would he care either way? What are his potential objections? Can he actually stop you from doing what you want to do, or are you just hoping to avoid his displeasure? I am always confused by adult women who worry about getting their parents' blessings for their decisions. I'm not saying it's not a legitimate concern, I just can't relate. My approach has always been to politely inform my parents about my trav…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/14 01:30 AM
5

I have a very close friend whose husband left. I told her, "look on the bright side. You can meet new people and date. I'm tied to the same guy forever!" I was trying to be positive because her husband had already moved in with the new girl, and there was nothing else to be done. I won't lie. I had a momentary twinge of nostalgia for my youth, and dating, and the fun of being young. Her dating life is so sad, though. There is nothing to envy there.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/14 01:24 AM
3

I am also secretly that kind of crazy bitch. DH and I enjoy sitting in our smugness together. Being smug together over a bottle of wine is a great date idea when you can't get a babysitter ;)
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/14 01:20 AM
3

You can't make him quit. in fact, you can make him NOT want to quit if you say anything about it. Instead, encourage his efforts, however minimal. So for instance, when it's appropriate, say, "I'm so proud of you for quitting. I know how hard it is. You're amazing." And just beam at him. I do think it's okay to set boundaries, though. For me, it is a hard boundary that a person is not allowed to smoke in my house. I think that's pretty typical in this day and age and shouldn't be a big deal.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/14 01:17 AM
7

Ugh, I can't think of anything that makes me more pro-marriage than watching another person's divorce. I've watched friends divorce and I'm pretty much willing to do anything to avoid that kind of trauma in my life. Especially with kids...it never really ends.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 07:09 PM
2

I don't think I'm adding anything that hasn't already been stated, but the short answer is that you don't. Any guy you should be interested is going to approach you. However, if you want to be approached, work on eye contact and smiling. Practice with just about everyone you meet who doesn't give you the creeps - it's just being polite. When you do get approached, continue to be polite. It's not attractive to be bitchy or condescending, even if it's a defense mechanism because you're super shy. …
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 07:05 PM
1

Not to mention that I imagine it's suffocating for a kid to be the focus of all the attention that would otherwise be going toward the marriage. And the guilt and pressure of being the focal point of Mom's existence!
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 02:31 AM
3

I have sex on the brain. Apparently the third baby is the one that makes you horny all the time.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 02:29 AM
2

Ha, or I may scare them more. It's a circus here.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 02:29 AM
3

Weird stuff is happening around this house. :) Today DH told me at dinner that he was thinking about using his bonus money for a family Disney trip. I almost fell out of my chair in shock. Not really an example about keeping things "hot" per se, but a completely out-of-nowhere, uncharacteristic behavior from a man for whom planning a family vacation is like scheduling dental work. He was so proud and happy of himself, too. It was adorable. I just beamed at him and told him how happy he had made …
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 02:28 AM
3

I think awareness is half the battle. Most people know that there is a tendency for sex and intimacy to drop off after a baby, but it's brushed off as something normal and inevitable. You know that's not true, so you're ahead of the game. My marriage actually got better after kids. It was like we looked at each other and realized that the other was the only person who understood how we felt about this child. We were always on the same team, so to speak, but now the bond seemed so much more tangi…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 01:39 AM
9

Whether or not she admitted it out loud, it may have been a relief to hear that the baby DIDN'T always have to come first. There are some confusing messages out there for moms. Sometimes I feel pissed off at something my DH says that contradicts my own personal philosophy, but when I think on it for a while, I feel such a sense of relief, realizing I had either taken on a burden that wasn't mine, or a much larger burden than was necessary.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 01:15 AM
5

Part of the blame is on the entire industry dedicated to high-stakes parenting. Teach your baby to sleep THIS WAY or he'll be emotionally damaged forever. Your baby needs to reach THIS MILESTONE NOW or she won't ever graduate Kindergarten. Moms are convinced that these "experts" hold the key to healthy kids and never consider that they may just want to sell some books to some sleep-deprived suckers. Imagine a world where new moms are as focused on a happy marriage. There isn't a better way to ra…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 01:11 AM
3

Hello! I lurk and comment occasionally...if I have anything meaningful to add. I'm in my 30s, married for 10 years, three kids five and younger. I stumbled upon RP stuff while looking on advice on keeping marriage 'hot' after time and kids. Turns out I was a shrew and didn't know it, and things are rapidly turning around. It's amazing what a little info can do. Now I just have to work on my patience. I have a few questions for the group that I haven't posted yet (all sex stuff, so at least it wi…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/14 06:58 PM
2

I'm a SAHM to three under age five, so I keep it feminine but simple. Yoga pants or skinny jeans in cooler weather, with sweaters, tunics, "tissue" t-shirts and cardigans, floral blouses. In summer I wear capris and skirts with tanks and strappy sandals. I love the kind that lace up my ankle. I always wear nice shoes. Boots, ballet flats, and the aforementioned sandals are my favs. This summer I'm trying to add more dresses to my wardrobe. I had DH pick out some that he liked from the Title9 cat…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/14 06:47 PM
2

Added it to my Amazon list.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/14 02:05 AM
2

I have to tell you that I am loving this book! I think it's better than The Surrendered Wife, which was more of a "stop doing this" type of book. FW is more of a "do this instead" type of book. For some reason I'm just responding to it better. I'm tearing through it, but I think I need to take a break because I want to absorb the information, and there is so much of it!
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/14 02:05 AM
2

Just added it to my Kindle!
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/14 06:32 PM
1

Yes, I did actually read this a few months ago, but I forgot. This is how I first heard the term Red Pill. When I was reading this book I honestly felt like he was reading my mind, but I never realized my mind actually worked like that before. I told my husband that he should read it, and I'm dying to ask him if he has (sometimes he does things and I think, "he must have read the book!") but I told myself when I recommended it that I would leave it up to him and not bring it up again.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/14 06:31 PM
2

Here's the thing: The only thing you can do is take the best care of yourself that you can. That's all. So focus on controlling what you can, and accepting what you can't. The truth is, eventually you will be post-wall and then...well, you still just do the best for yourself as you can. You can wish you looked differently (younger) but that's wasted effort. And I really need to stress that being post-peak doesn't mean hideous. It just is what it is.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 09:51 PM
3

LOL, if someone says something like that (humble brag) you just reply, "You're 32? Oh wow, I would have guessed older." Just kidding, don't say that. When people are jerks, just ignore them and try not to be around them more than you have to be.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 09:40 PM
2

But that's not what they're saying at all. That's just what you're reading into it.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 09:34 PM
3

It sounds like you are an attractive woman, regardless of how old people assume you are. It also sounds like people are being complimentary toward you when they say they assumed you were older. Are these women or men who are guessing your age? I don't necessarily think it's a compliment for a 24-year-old to be told you were thought to be 19, but then I also wouldn't be insulted at 24 to be believed to be 29, either. It's kind of a neutral statement - don't read too much into it. Perhaps women pe…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 09:33 PM
1

The thing is, shaving your arm pits is pretty much THE EASIEST THING EVER! If you only wanted to do one single thing to make yourself more attractive and feminine, what could be less time consuming than shaving your pits? Just do it. And yet, if you choose NOT to shave...oh dear Lord! It has such an overall negative affect on a woman's appearance and makes a VERY bold statement that she does not desire to be delicate or feminine. It's the equivalent of wearing a Don't-Touch-Me sandwich board.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 02:19 AM
1

Just out of curiosity, where are you and your SO from? Just wondering if your SO's preference corresponds with some of the regional trends others have mentioned.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 02:15 AM
2

Haha...like it's an accomplishment to have grown armpit hair. Congratulations, so can everyone else! The rest of us women just have the good sense to get rid of it.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 02:10 AM
2

This depends on your hair type, but work with the weather if you can. On humid days, I wear my hair curly, using a curl serum or mousse. I usually flat iron my hair, but definitely not when it's raining.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 02:07 AM
2

I broke my hand a few years ago and I have the same problem. I never got 100% strength back and these are exactly the things I have trouble with. I responded more at length elsewhere in the thread, but I use these opportunities to flirt. Poor little me needs some sexy man muscle in the kitchen, please.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 01:34 AM
6

Specifically regarding your jar example...If I were to need a jar opened, I'd probably say something like, "Baby, will you please lend me your big man muscles and open this jar?" Then when he was done, I'd wink and say, "Thanks, that was hot AND helpful." Foreplay, and my jar is now open. Two birds, one stone. I just texted him at work this week, telling him that I wish his big man muscles were at home because I'm having a hard time opening a jar of salsa and because they are nice to look at.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 01:29 AM
1

Yes! Never underestimate how many calories you can burn during great sex.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/14 01:38 AM
2

Re: that link...if you can "see labia" through the yoga pants, they are the cheapest pair ever made, or the wrong size.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/14 01:27 AM
1

This is a really excellent answer.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/14 01:22 AM
10

Your number one job is to take care of your body and unborn baby. That's not an excuse to become a lazy slob, but it is an opportunity to practice good self-care. It's important for your home to be safe, healthy, and happy. It is not important for everything to be perfect. Sit down and talk with DH. He's not stupid; he knows there will be limitations for you over the next several months. He WANTS you to be healthy and well-rested. We have cats, so during my pregnancy, DH takes care of litter. He…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/14 01:19 AM
1

I was assuming OP meant yoga pants as loungewear/casualwear for around the house, errands, etc. I wouldn't even wear yoga pants to McDonald's. Definitely not okay for going out to dinner, dates, etc!
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 10:58 PM
3

If you think you should lose weight, lose weight. The fact that you pushed SO on this issue makes me think you should lose weight and you know it. Either way, I don't think it's a good sign for the relationship if the attraction drops off after one month. Also, don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 10:54 PM
1

Do you mean in general or with SO? If your feelings are hurt by your SO, you can 1) step back from the situation to see if hurt feelings are warranted or if you can use it as an opportunity for self-improvement. 2) Just tell your SO that it hurt your feelings (in the moment, if possible) and leave it at that. Don't elaborate, don't bring it up again and don't escalate the situation. Then he knows he hurt your feelings but you aren't beating him over the head with it. He'll do with that what he w…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 10:49 PM
2

I'm not disagreeing with that, but I am proposing that an adult woman can willingly change, and tongue biting will be part of the process for those of us not born and bred on RP philosophy. Edit: Thanks! Otherwise I may as well just throw in the towel! :) I'm a former ball-busting shrew who fortunately has an awesome body and makes cute kids or DH would have left me by the curb by now ;)
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 02:37 PM
3

So a shrew can't change her shrew stripes? Everyone has to start somewhere. Most modern women were raised to always speak their mind. The fact that they adopt a new worldview in adulthood--all on their own--is remarkable - and HARD. Biting ones tongue is a good first step in retraining oneself.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 02:28 PM
4

I once heard Dr. Laura tell a caller that if her husband was playing a video game all night that she wasn't doing a very good job seducing him (she wanted him to go to bed when she did so they could have sex more regularly after the kids went to bed). I kind of wish DH would have an addictive habit like this, because every once in a while I get REALLY into a book and want to stay up all night reading, but I know he thinks that is ridiculous and I would get NO sympathy the next morning when I'm e…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 02:03 PM
2

I agree with this advice on principle, but acknowledge that in the early RP stages, it's going to be completely counterintuitive and will KILL OP to bite her tongue (and that's ok). What you describe is what I aspire to, but I can't tell you how often I want to bite my tongue off just to shut me the hell up (or more frequently, close my eyes so I can roll them or give a stinkeye, quietly room so I don't snort or slam a cupboard door). My question is: Is it okay to find a good opportunity to stat…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 02:00 PM
1

I was using the 34 B size as an example of "average". I'm a 30D, but I agree it's important to get measured frequently. My body is constantly changing through pregnancies and breastfeeding.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 01:01 AM
2

I had an easier time after each baby. More kids means more running around after them. I get exercise from playing with them, but I also don't have any time for "bored" eating. I do yoga once a week, only eat when I'm truly hungry, and I wear form fitting clothes so I never feel like just being sloppy.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 12:58 AM
9

I have three kids, ages five and under, including an infant, and I absolutely CAN NOT maintain a clean house all the time, every day. We're not living in filth or anything, but it's completely unrealistic that everything is tidy and calm each day when DH gets home. I admire women who can do it, but I can't. Ask your DH what is most important to him. I know my husband really likes dinner to be prepared when he gets home, and that his laundry is done in a timely manner. He's less concerned by dish…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 12:47 AM
3

Looking awesome while "not making an effort" is a feminine art form. Yoga pants are one tool in that toolbox. My husband drools over me when I'm in a nice pair of yoga pants or leggings. I'm a SAHM so they are practically my uniform (and one that's served me well).
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/14 12:41 AM
1

You and your husband are grown ups; this is your decision. Your mother got to decide when she had her kids and now you get to decide for yourself. The end.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/14 06:39 PM
3

I always think the Dove women are overweight, too. There aren't many circles where you can say that and not get crucified! Not to mention, those might be "real" women but they are also photoshopped. If they weren't, they would have a ton of stretch marks and cellulite. Actually, now that I think of it, that's what Dove should be focused on, considering their products are skin care. Choose models who are in an actually healthy weight range, but who have stretch marks and cellulite! That's "real" …
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/14 09:16 PM
12

Most intelligent, mentally healthy, adult women are aware that professional photographs are photoshopped and recognize that a 5'2" natural B cup is never going to look like a leggy 5'10" DD Victoria's Secret model. That being said, there are plenty of teenage girls who don't have healthy role models who may think that only models are "hot enough". These are probably the same girls who sleep around for validation. It's a messed up world, but I firmly believe that a young woman's body image is mos…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/14 09:11 PM
1

I don't know if I was ever a true "feminist" per se, but I have found that I have been indoctrinated by feminist ideas regardless of my traditional upbringing. Even though I have a traditional marriage (he works, I stay home and care for the babies) I've always lived by the manta, "equal, equal, equal." Eventually, the wise ones figure out that keeping everything equal just doesn't work because it's completely unnatural. The reason I've ended up here is because I knew deep down that my hard-core…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/14 07:34 PM
2

Infuse your water with your favorite fruits. I keep a pitcher in my fridge filled with water and sliced lemons all the time. It's healthy, delicious, and if you have a pretty glass and a straw, you look like a sophisticated movie star sipping drinks at a sidewalk cafe. :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/14 07:29 PM
1

You will find that regardless of the pill you swallow, your friendships change drastically in your twenties as you transition from girl to woman. You may always have one or two lifelong friends from childhood or college, but different friends will serve you differently as you navigate the various stages of life. Adulthood isn't like your school years where you can pal around in a clique. You may have "neighborhood" friends and "work friends", then "church" friends and "parent" friends, and these…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/14 07:22 PM
1

I have a Master's degree in secondary English education, but I'm also a SAHM. I always knew that I wanted to stay home with my kids, which is a value I share with DH. That being said, I don't think DH would have been interested in me if I wasn't a college graduate. This may not be the case for everyone, but for me, having a degree raises my value. I don't work outside of the home, but my college degree -- or more precisely, my college education -- makes DH and me more compatible. He considers me…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/14 07:12 PM
2

There are scary stats tossed around RP sites, but anecdotally, I know many many more women who want to find a high value man and settle down (forever) compared to the nearly zero who only want casual sex. Perhaps this is influenced by geography? I live in a small town and I'm originally from a rural area.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/14 06:56 PM
3

SPF is a must each day, even if it is not a sunny day or you won't be out for very long. I also recommend using a Vitamin C serum daily. Lastly, don't just pay attention to you face, but maintain a special routine for your hands and decolletage. A woman who is 30+ may look a decade or more younger in her face but have the telltale old lady hands and neckline.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/14 06:46 PM
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