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View 1 post and 99 comments by HildaEast on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

RELATIONSHIPSHildaEast/r/RedPillWomen05/03/19 07:40 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

You said "dope smoking"... Dope is slang for heroin. Are you saying he is smoking heroin??
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/20 06:50 AM
1

Yup. Honestly it's super attractive to a man with someone who is passionate about something. So if you feel that passion within, go for it! As long as you don't ignore men or forget about men you'll be more likely to succeed in your dating life if you're an interesting person than if you make getting a good man your main thing. When people try to scare you with the whole single career cat lady trope, that trope is not about women passionate about something AND having a family. You can do both an…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/20 02:05 AM
2

In your post you specifically said you are just going to college to get a job and if that's the case it doesn't sound like the best thing to study. Unless you live in Hollywood and want to work in the industry to meet a man in the industry. That being said, if you are actually passionate about film (passion is attractive!) and that's the reason you study it, I would say it depends on multiple things: Is it a good school that will get you opportunities and a good network? Are you getting into deb…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/20 01:43 AM
1

I am inclined to disagree with the consensus here, but it depends. It's completely understandable that he wants to date you in person for a bit before he commits. As women we have to respect that men take longer than us women to commit, because it is a bigger investment for them on many levels. I can't see from your post how much you have actually dated. How many dates have you been on? (Non-virtual) How much time have you spent together? What are your ages?
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/20 11:21 PM
1

I've been blessed with a nice face, am tall and thin, and most people assume I am a model. I have had opportunities but mostly turned them down with the exception of a few jobs that seemed particularly fun or were for art projects. Most people will stereotype a beautiful girl at the first glance as someone who isn't very accomplished in other ways. I get that too but it stops the moment I start talking and it's apparent I have other things going for me. It's a stereotype for a reason: most super…
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/20 10:34 PM
3

Just sayin, 22 is not only young, but you are pre-prime. Most women look their best mid 20s, 24-28, and learn how to be better partners with the maturity that comes with experience (not talking about sexual experience, just general interpersonal and having experienced some ups and downs in their love life). Most women who don't have mental issues that destroy them in one way or another also get better men because they are better at vetting. I don't want to encourage you to "keep your options ope…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/20 10:10 AM
3

I'm good at early stage dating after long term singledom and dating in London and NYC until I found the right guy. Yes Instagram is a dating app. Not only a dating app, but regularly used as one. There is one surefire way to do this. Does he post stories about going out? Bars or houseparties? A Friday or Saturday night 8-10pmish, preferably one where you know he's out, you text him "Anything fun happening tonight? I'm out with my girlfriend, think we might head to the westside next" or something…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/20 10:00 AM
2

Just chiming in as a fellow Scandinavian here, who moved to NYC some years ago and have family in the states. Most "liberals" in Scandinavia are waaay closer to the centre than American liberals. Like way way. Politics is not religion in Scandinavia the way it is here. You aren't defined by the party you support (we also have multiple parties and not a two party system which I guess contributes to less polarization). The ideologies of someone like Bernie Sanders over here who a lot of people her…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/20 04:09 AM
1

Date someone else who is successful and driven, but not necessarily makes a lot of money. You probably have to date someone intelligent, but not all intelligent successful men make a lot of money. Think journalist, academia, artist etc. Let them contribute in other ways that make them feel empowered. For example they have a network of really interesting people and take you to great parties. Or they read a lot of books and can introduce you to books and enrich your life with conversations about t…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 10:08 PM
1

Making good money broadens your dating market, since you won't rely as much on the second income and can choose men within riskier and lower paying professions. Down prioritizing him being a provider opens you to prioritize other traits higher. Now someone in academia or artists or journalists or early stage entrepreneurs could make a good husband for you, even if they don't make that much money. Of course you still want someone driven, but there are lots of driven people in professions that don…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/20 07:04 PM
6

You sound very similar to me. I was single for 3 years (27-30) after having been in two relationships with almost no gap for 8 years prior. That being said, I always knew I want a husband and kids. It was in many ways good for me to be single. Like you I really established my independence, my career, my choices and habits. Fully emersed myself in figuring out everything about myself and becoming the best version of myself. I'm 32 now and thanks to rigorously taking care of my health I still have…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/20 09:42 AM
18

I really feel ya on dating similarly aged men. I am flat out more attracted to men my own age. I feel like we are leveled, it is more easy going easy flowing in the early stages, it feels familiar, there is less of a power dynamic to overcome, we grew up in similar times, and just "get" each other. And heck, I like youthful looks and energy too! Youthfulness has a good influence on me. My boyfriend is 1 year older than me. Another thing with men 33+ is that I find they tend to either have emotio…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/20 11:41 AM
1

There's a pretty big difference between partying and sleeping around. I have never slept around, but I partied a lot in my early twenties (1-2 times/ a week). I party way less now (1-2 times/month), only when there is a great party, but when I do I go hard. Since 27 I don't drink alcohol for health reasons, though. I love putting on an amazing outfit, having deep conversations and loud laughs with interesting people and to dance to amazing music. My boyfriends have always been the same as me in …
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/20 09:50 PM
1

Girl, you are NOT ugly. I looked at your profile. It looks like you have some mental issues though (but many do at 14/15... I was def pretty weird at that age). Work on those. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself, who is confident, grateful for what you have, and kind. I understand you might not feel attractive now at 14/15, because you have a "look" and you don't look generic. Boys your age don't appreciate that (but let me guess: do adults ever compliment your looks??) You have stron…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/20 04:27 PM
6

In my experience and observations, there are 3 types of men that cheat, and maybe most men fall into these categories but fat from all: The flat out narcissist who does whatever he wants. Lives by "what they don't know won't hurt them". This guy is pretty easy to avoid because they will show their questionable morals in other situations and personal relationships. The mentally unstable guy. This guy has some deep seated insecurities. He will destructively do things to ruin stuff he doesn't feel …
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/20 07:24 PM
1

Yeah... Let me just say that as a traditionally attractive woman (blergh sorry) when it comes to looks, our dating life is not much easier. It gets you in the door, immediately. But a relationship is way further than right inside the door. I too have experienced men who don't want to commit and try to drag things out. I also observe the men around me. They don't go for max looks. They go for looks above their threshold and then it's on to all the rest of the relationship criteria. If you're in t…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/20 06:59 PM
6

One tip is to try to cook food you really like. Then you have a goal: to make a version you really like instead of something just from a cookbook. You can experiment with dishes new to you later. Protip to make stuff taste good. Just add a bit of each and try to taste which one it needs more of until YOU think it tastes good: You want a balance of sweet and sour: Sour: lemon, vinegar Sweet: sugar, onion, carrot You want fat+salt Fat: Ghee is my go to. It's great for cooking/frying and adds a sub…
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/19 02:40 AM
16

Okay I'll bite. I'm good at early stage dating games. Your request isn't really redpill territory, though. It's pretty simple: he gets rewards from investing. The reward is sweetness and devotion. Men respond positively to this being earned and not given freely. When he is investing zero (aka takes a week to text), you do not engage. Yes, do reply, but with as short as possible sentences just answering the questions. Or if there are no questions just "Good to hear you're keeping busy:)". No ques…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/19 01:36 PM
4

Okay, calm down. You are 19. I understand it hurts, maybe (and hopefully) the worst anything will ever hurt, but I PROMISE you will meet someone you think is better than him. You will change a lot. Not just change, but improve. Keep climbing the self improvement mountain and become an ultra catch of a lady who can date top shelf men. This guy sounds like he's sketchy, arrogant and not likeable. Artist? Move to NYC, London or Berlin (or some non-western city with a great arts scene) if you haven'…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/19 09:30 AM
1

As long as you are actually mentally healthy enough to offer the right amount of vulnerability at the right time to the right kind of man, I don't think a redpill woman seeking a relationship carries any risk of being single forever. However, I think there is a chance of someone biologically healthy ending up childless (biological) if one takes too long to achieve said good mental health.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/19 09:16 AM
5

I'm 5'9 and a size 0-2, with hips, for reference. I'm 32 now and though my style always evolves and is refined more and more, it's always been somewhat the same. I've just gotten better at it. I would describe it as colorful, fashionable, chic, cool, playful and...appropriate. I wear a lot of high waisted pants and skirts because it's flattering on my figure. I mostly shop second hand (and donate a lot) and have quite a few designer pieces (nothing recognizable with logos). I live in NYC. I wear…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/19 04:25 AM
8

This happens because you have internalized that your worth as a person is determined by what this individual thinks of you. It is related to some emotional trauma in the past that indicated that you have low worth. Contenders: Relationship to parents? Bullying in school? Previous abusive relationship? To fix this you need to do two things: Dig into what made you this way and work on healing those wounds, and build up your self worth through other healthier channels instead of what this person (o…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/19 12:19 AM
3

:) I think I have a little bit of anxiety about not seeming genuine. I didn't want my agreement with his views to be interpreted as me just saying that to make him happy. Which is why saying what you mean in general is important - small and big things. So that he (and anyone in any relation) knows you aren't just mimicking when you actually agree. If you're honest in general he won't have any reason to suspect that you aren't on this topic. But if you have a tendency to agree more than you actua…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/19 06:24 AM
6

You're not supposed to just say what he wants to hear. You're supposed to say what you mean. And you said you don't want kids, so what you should have responded is something affirmative but playful like "I've been doing some soul searching on kids as well and I have come to share your sentiment. I don't want kids. They are lovely but the world has enough of them;)" or something along those lines. He put his cards on the table and said in a fairly straightforward way that he does not want kids bu…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/19 05:40 AM
52

Attraction is an automatic prerequisite, which includes sufficient looks, drive and intelligence. But the trait not as tightly connected to attraction, which is surprisingly rare, is integrity. Honesty and taking responsibility for ones actions. This wasn't always the case, so I got burnt and then learned to actively seek it.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/19 07:25 AM
3

Yes and no: "Redpill" is about effective strategies that produce predictable results --- it's about what works, and less about adhering to a guideline if it doesn't get you what you want. To me I think of redpill as "harsh truths" and bluepill as "blissful ignorance". Clue here is truth. And here we discuss what truth is in our context. For redpillwomen it seems to be consensus that a long term quality partnership is the optimal outcome, while for men there is still a discussion and choice betwe…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/19 07:14 AM
2

That's awesome that you could learn as a bystander. For sure this should have sharpened your spidey senses. I didn't really mean to say that 27 is old, but it took me 2 failed relationships lasting a total of 8 years to really learn what to look for in a man, and I'm not alone with those kinds of numbers. The young ones, even though they shouldn't, can mindlessly fall into suboptimal relationships and stay for years, because there's time after too. Have you been in love or strongly infatuated be…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/19 06:39 AM
5

The term "traditional gender roles" might be deemed a social construct, but when it comes down to it, redpill is about honoring and adhering to how women and men approach sex, commitment and relationships differently - because of different biologies. It's a pitfall to think you can just project your own mindset to the other person when they're a different gender. And on the women's side specifically, if you want to make a quality man with access to large quantities (of both getting with women an…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/19 06:16 AM
4

Yeah. I guess if you create something for people who believe traditional gender roles are rooted in something real as opposed to being a social construct, you will also attract people at the outer limits of insane conservativism.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/19 05:27 PM
38

This is so sweet! Your date sounds amazing, and I think a kiss was appropriate. You did a lot of activities and hung out for a while, so it's natural that you felt ready for a kiss. (The only concerning part was the conspiracy theory thing but if it's a quirky research thing and not a tinfoil pizzagate thing then it's not worrisome). I'm so happy for you that you feel ready to move on from your situation and create a life which includes romance and partnership for yourself. It absolutely can wor…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/19 05:05 AM
2

I mostly shop in vintage boutiques, but not everyone has the patience for that. For new clothes online, I have two favorites: Asos and Yoox. Asos is reasonable and has a great return policy (their vip membership is cheap and gives unlimited free 2 day shipping and returns). If I'm looking for something in particular, say a red dress, I will buy 5 dresses, maybe multiple sizes of each, and send back all but one or two favorites. Yoox has a huge inventory of know and unknown designers' mainly olde…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/19 08:29 AM
–

Show him a glimpse of what it's like to have you as a girlfriend, let him get to know you, and make him feel comfortable in your presence. It sounds like you are already at this stage. Then when you're at a peak (after a great time together) break things off and say the reason is that you have feelings for him and that you are looking for love so you need to step away and get over him and meet other people, since love is not what he wants. A man is the most motivated to commit by realising if he…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/19 07:48 AM
1

Guys who take a long time to become exclusive but really honor it -> fine and worth some agony for that period of non-exclusivity. Guys who give away exclusivity and then backtrack without saying anything -> shady and not worth it. He doesn't have integrity. I'm pretty patient and empathetic with the fear that men can have in the early stages of a relationship, but this kind of dishonesty gets a hard next from me. It says something about his values, and it will very likely be a problem again in …
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/19 10:00 AM
2

The whole "I'll show you this game" or "You need to meet my friend X" hints at the future is flat out some (hopefully subconscious) game a lot of guys play to make the girl feel more comfortable. Don't take those words at face value, only action. Based on your interaction, he's not that interested right now. "We definitely need to do this again" is not good in my opinion. It's equivalent to "I'll call you". An example of something that would have been good is "This was great, how does your week …
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/19 09:47 AM
1

Well if first date is a 30 minute coffee then not being comfortable with a kiss makes sense. After talking and connecting for hours, both having dinner and walking around, it's a different story. Not kissing after that kind of rapport building sounds like someone has issues and a need to test, rather than standards related to initiative and reciprocation. I mean, given that you actually want a second date. If not, then of course no kiss.
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/19 09:23 AM
1

Through conversation. I also suggested we move locations so we ended up walking around which then lead to hand holding which is intimate, and conversations are often better when you're not facing someone all the time. I mean I obviously looked my best and all that, but a lot of women are beautiful, looks just get you in the door and up for consideration. With me it's always conversation. It's one of my strong points. It's about him (or any person you want to connect with) feeling seen and unders…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/19 07:30 PM
1

I've had this happen to me too, the first two dates were lazily planned and in his area. But then I totally wooed him on the second date. Then the third was dinner in my neighborhood, a cute BYOB place, and he'd gone prior to the deli to buy coconut water for me since he'd picked up in a conversation that I like that. He just had a million options when it came to women and it didn't click that I was special until it did. Some men hold back on investing until he's decided it's worth it, some men …
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/19 09:31 AM
1

Him trying to escalate physically is not a red flag as long as he stops when you set a boundary. He does sound a bit unenthusiastic though, but this will change if he gets feelings for you, and a big part of that responsibility is on you! Some guys, and particularly high value guys, will not make a lot of effort at first. But the fact that he wants to keep seeing you means he still hasn't written off falling for you. He might long to be wooed. If you like him and your values align, I think it wo…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/19 08:14 AM
13

There is only one way to slim down, and that is to lose fat. There is only one way to lose fat, and that is to eat less than you burn. Well, there is one more way to not look bigger than you are and that is eating a diet that doesn't cause fluid retention, aka bloat (low carb, not too much sodium). Most women look good and put together with a fairly low fat percentage. Individuals carry fat in different places based on genetics, and you can't decide where to lose (without cosmetic procedures). H…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/19 01:46 AM
3

When I'm low on serotonin I feel like this too. Let's just say I've been to some fun festivals with my man a couple of times and would then have to suffer from low serotonin for a week or two after. And I think it might be "true" in some sense, that the fact that I feel like a "Janice" emits this annoying aura to other people. I'm just not as empathetic as my normal self. The funny thing is that it is a chemical imbalance that makes me feel this way. Literally. If you are depressed you have long…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 11:49 PM
1

I'm 5'9 from a country of tall people where tall is not that much of a big deal. I think it's an overrated and honestly kind of basic trait, like big boobs. Yes it's nice, but a girl with a great smile is better than big boobs (while both is great), and a guy with a charming personality is better than being tall (while both is great). There's something hot to me about a confident shorter guy. Because you have to be truly confident to not be intimidated by regular and tall men around your woman. …
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 06:53 AM
2

This always worked for me. I have a strategy that might not be that endorsed here, but it seriously works: BJs first. As in BJs before sex, not before everything :-P Convey that "I don't have sex before we're exclusive because I really connect strongly between sex and emotions" etc etc. Even though I implement this strategy I have only given BJs to one more guy than I have slept with (he was an out of towner and I ended up eventually being exclusive with someone else). It is also real. It does n…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 09:10 PM
2

You want a man with integrity. If he's not honest in general, he will probably cheat on you at some point. Keep a lookout for conveniencene lies to his parents and friends. Don't try to convey that you are the fierce girl that everyone wants. Men are more attracted to the idea that you're his secret catch, and he's scared that you and other men will realise that. When everyone knows, he's not in a hurry. This is what makes him want to lock you down. Also, vet... Emotional immaturity (red flag: w…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/19 08:18 AM
1

Glad to hear that! I'm sure you will too, and wherever home is is always there if you change your mind:) I moved there from the Nordics, where I'm from. I've stayed abroad since except holidays / visits (5+ years at this point), and am based in NYC now.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/19 03:19 AM
1

Edit: Adding some comforting words. London is in my opinion the best place in the world to figure your things out. No one gets in your business, no one really cares what you are up to, so you have the space to truly define and figure this out for yourself. A lot of other cities try to suck you into being a specific way, London does not. It is just awesome. Has everything. I loved it and my time there was crucial to who I am today. I miss it quite a bit and I'm almost envious that you have this i…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/19 07:02 AM
1

Depends on the hair tie. The thin ones, yes, that looks sporty and unfeminine. But imo they shouldn't be worn in the first place unless they are hidden under the hairstyle, or at the gym. A velvet/cotton scrunchie on the wrist is a good look these days. And very feminine.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/19 07:54 AM
11

When men pulling away is mentioned in the context of a relationship, I think of when in the early stages a man can get overwhelmed and scared of moving too fast, which is natural and expected. But he either breaks up or gets over it typically. I guess that in this case, it is about the kind of situation a man who isn't honest with himself can get trapped in, when he wants a relationship for regular sex and companionship without the responsibility of being a partner. Most men, and all quality men…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 08:46 PM
3

Now you are 17, and dating and girls and boys is drama until early 20s either way. Maybe it's worse now but it was not great 15 years ago either. For people in early 20s and older, if you are looking for a solid and monogamous relationship with the intention of getting married and having kids, I honestly think it's harder for men than it is for women these days... In my experience the traditional dream of having a traditional family is the dream of more men than women, and the men with that drea…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 08:12 PM
3

I mostly use Instagram. I have Facebook for messenger reasons, but I post maybe once a year there these days, it's not much used in my circles. Instagram, I share stories 0-5 times a week, and post once every 1-3 weeks. I am deliberate with how I come off in what I share, and I have given this topic some thought. In general, the rule I follow is to not add to the pollution with something useless or unnecessary (like bragging). No sexual content. This does not just relate to nudity/skimpy clothes…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 05:33 AM
3

I just wanted to chime in with a couple of points. He's 6 years older than you and that adds to how attracted you are to him, and to how accomplished he seems. If you were 25 as well, he would quite possibly just be one of many equal options. I had a 6 year older boyfriend at 19 as well, and from today's perspective 25 year old me could do better than 25 year old him for sure, even though he was my dream at 19 (I'm 32 and on my 4th and very likely final relationship now). Heartbreak sucks. I had…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/19 08:44 AM
–

Yes, too much tension sounds like what it is! It's really not that much work to learn, and can be ready to go with just a couple of hours on YouTube. And if you search your sewing machine model you can probably find videos specific for that. Sewing really only gets challenging when doing tight clothes of non-stretchy fabrics. Oh, and pants are a bit tricky to make flattering. Just do a sample stitch on a small piece of your chosen fabric to make sure the stitches look good, and make sure you cut…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/19 10:42 PM
–

I love sewing! Consider blowing off the dust:) I also love clothes and outfits so YMMV. But it's not that hard, at all. And you get a BIG thing from a few hours effort, just start with simple things like a circle skirt or a non-tight dress, or an apron. Fabric shopping is great. You can really envision what you are going to make.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/19 09:36 PM
2

I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend in highschool. Men are scared they are not the best man you've been with, so as long as you keep dating upwards and improving yourself, this comes naturally. Men are also scared you don't have integrity and standards which increases the likelihood you'll cheat, but you can have integrity and standards and still have a beyond zero n-count, and as long as it's genuine and from the heart they will be fine. In my experience all men I've dated have looked at …
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/19 09:31 PM
3

Lift weights and do the sauna after. It boosts human growth hormone (cell renewal). Makes you look and feel fresh and not that a little bit dead look. And keeps you young. Do it a few days a week to maintain. Prioritize getting enough sleep. Preferably without sleep aids on the regular (they tend to mess with deep sleep vs REM sleep). Eat low carb and not too much sodium. This makes for less fluid retention and less inflammation in your body, and will leave you less puffy and bloated. Make sure …
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/19 12:50 AM
8

The norms are not the same as in real life dating. Men with a highly attractive profile are pretty much equally as flooded with opportunities online as decent looking women. Being a bit proactive in getting the meeting to happen is completely fine. Give him a day to message first, but if he doesn't, then you go. Pre-meeting up it's all pretty transactional with online dating and people with options will carefully consider if it's worth their time to set up a meeting. If there's a spark post meet…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/19 06:36 AM
4

At 27 you are not too old to become the best you've ever been. I find that the best (only?) way to get over being some kind of alpha widow is to become better. Are you really in the best shape, mentally and physically, that you could be? Doesn't sound like it. Go for it, give it your all and work really hard on becoming your best self, and the caliber of the men you'll attract will make you forget those men from your past. It's far from over for you. It also doesn't sound like you dated either o…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 07:27 AM
2

Ummm... What's the conclusion of this? Is having special needs covered important or not? Might read this book. I'm kinda in the same situation as OP, and the "special needs" is what's missing. It's missing hard. I had it with both my exes, and multiple times with others that ended up not working out for a variety of reasons, but I never experienced this with my current boyfriend, of 2 years. He's got pretty much everything else, including being the most popular and alpha guy, and 100% trustworth…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/19 10:18 PM
4

This story is nice and all, up until one point. Though it's preferable to wait with sex until explicit exclusivity, it's not a deal breaker to not as long as he's not under the impression that you sleep around. The thing that stood out to me the most is "the talk" and what came after: Anything short of a relationship after the talk, anything implying maybe later, anything about timing and not being ready: you walk. No more of anything lovey dovey, no more phsycial attention. From that moment. He…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/19 11:50 PM
4

Thanks for the tips and encouragement! The push to get myself to be more social was intended to increase my chances of actually meeting someone in person, but maybe I shouldn't focus on that so much since I haven't been successful up to this point? Online dating can definitely work, but it has a pretty low hit rate for finding chemistry since you haven't met the person, and that can get pretty time consuming and tedious. It's a numbers game and will pay off in the end, but takes time and effort …
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/19 02:57 AM
3

This sounds kind of doomed based on your comments, but in general I think there is nothing to lose with being forward when still being online and not having met, if you are positive you come across as more awesome and attractive in person. I have sometimes had to borderline nag (as in, picking up a twice dead conversation and requesting the date) to get that first meetup but then the tables completely turned in terms of who is chasing who once we met. This has happened both times I did it. Attra…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/19 01:25 AM
2

Instagram is essentially a dating app for the younger crowd. I get asked out there fairly often after some friendly chatting about a mutual interest, mainly by attractive/successful men (but I'm taken) (also a creep message here and there but I don't consider that asking out). I have less than 1000 followers, not an influencer or anything.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/19 01:17 AM
18

This is so great to read ☺️ Now that you are 28, you are definitely in the age where men who meet you will consider you long term rather than just a girlfriend to pass time with. Some people might say that you are getting dangerously close to your wall, but the good news is that since you're new to this self-improvement journey you'll probably be more attractive for a relationship now and in the years moving forward than you were in your younger years, so the men you will align with won't be wor…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/19 12:51 AM
8

This is natural and automatic behavior from a guy. He will be the one pushing and you will be the one setting boundary. A big part of him wants you to set a boundary. Because his future wife is no slut. The rejection will be a bit of a blow for him, so take some initiative in your response. The right thing to do here I believe is: Let him down gently in a way that does not bruise his ego but rather strokes it Set the boundary. Be clear!! No wishy washy "I'm busy" or just letting it slide. Give h…
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/19 09:45 AM
1

It's advice to seek answers and enter the personal journey :) If they end up believing, then great they can reap the benefits I mentioned. If not, then at least they have an answer and can build their own framework deliberately. Everyone needs a reason/motivation to seek, whether it's an existential crisis or personal turmoil, or in this case it's a desire to be better. Most people are complacent or preoccupied and don't seek, both among believers and non-believers.
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/19 05:01 AM
1

I guess I knew that was a controversial thing to say. Someone below said some really good things but now the comments are deleted? I hope that was by their own choice and not a moderator. Anyway, I did not mean to say that you can't be good if you're not religious, and I did not say that all people who define themselves as religious are good, which is why I phrased it like I did. I would say that those types of people mentioned in this and the other negative comments are just as disconnected to …
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/19 12:54 AM
8

Being religious helps a lot;) Not by identifying with a religious group but by actually believing in and praying to God. Talking to God surfaces the most pure and good part of oneself. Also meditation helps with empathy by making your ego smaller and makes you more able to put others first. Edit: I guess I knew that was a controversial thing to say. Someone below said some really good things but now the comments are deleted? I hope that was by their own choice and not a moderator. Anyway, I did …
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 06:44 AM
4

You seem to be open to meeting other men of his caliber, so that's good. I'm sure he's great but there are other great men out there. I'm positive you can improve on yourself sufficiently to get attention from great men. I have sort of been alpha widowed in the past (well, in my teens), but after some initial sulking it just put me on a self improvement journey to be good enough for the person who dumped me, and all men beyond that. If you want the best possible man you can get, you have to be y…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/19 07:38 PM
0

If you're in the US you can use Dear Brightly! You fill out a form about your skin, then that gets evaluated by a dermatologist and you get tailored strength tretinoin in the mail :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/19 07:27 PM
2

It's hard to give advice with this little information about you and your man. There are some signs of him being controlling, but also signs of him being justified in being skeptical. Can you give some more details on him and his positive/negative qualities (what makes him husband material), as well as your own? At 27 you still have another shot at dating and finding a man pre-wall unless you've lead very unhealthily.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 12:45 PM
1

How old are you? If you are younger than say 30 you have time to self improve and get better men, unless you already are very self improved or you are close to your wall. Also, do you live in a dead ish place? Consider moving. I've lived in a lot of places and the times I've ended up hung up on a guy was because of a lack of good alternatives in the area. This includes London btw so not just referring to a small town thing. A change of scenery might help if you're deep in this hole.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/19 10:31 AM
2

Sounds like a troll post but I'll bite. like she couldn't find her own man. Sounds like that's what she did. You said he liked you (I'm wondering for what reason? Maybe you are relatively attractive compared to other women in your area?) but that you "never really paid any mind" so you can't blame her for going after him, he was fully available and you weren't pursuing him. he doesn't like me because ''friend'' told lies on me and said I am a mean girl. Based on your post this doesn't seem like …
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/19 08:23 PM
6

If he's a high SMV man, and especially since he's obviously not 100% emotionally invested either, he's unlikely to commit to an LDR (unless this is temporary and he's in an age range where he's done playing the field). Either way if you don't get commitment, remember this does not mean that he doesn't think you're great, it just means that this wasn't the right situation for some reason (him, you, the distance, a combo). You've already had the talk. He knows what you want. He is stringing you al…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/19 05:51 AM
4

Don't. But what you could do is read the questions beforehand, pick out some of the nice conversational but not too invasive ones and just ask him as a part of your conversation when it feels natural. It's normal to ask questions to get to know the other person, but bringing up a falling in love recipe on the second date is pretty intense. Remember to respect a man's fear of commitment. It's a bigger investment for a man than a woman, and pushing will rightfully scare him away, as it is a form o…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 05:31 AM
4

If you have one of those aerial adventure parks nearby, if it's a good one, they are awesome, fun for hours, super scary even though you're secured because it's so high up. Also a bit of a physical challenge but not too bad. Roller coasters, a day at the amusement park, just make sure to get the fast passes (not too pricey for a special occasion). Bonus: feel like teenagers. One of my favorite date activities is just going to the gym to lift weights together. I don't do classes but I imagine tha…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 11:14 PM
8

Ah online dating. It sucks because it's so time-consuming and people on it don't want to risk wasting time and to go on yet another bad date, but it's hard to gauge someone over just text so who knows what kind of opportunities everyone being casual about it is missing out on. He's probably been on a lot of bad dates and is therefore half-assing it. He's not 100% convinced you're worth his time based on your texting/profile. If you KNOW you make a killer first impression, meaning one which is a …
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 06:54 AM
4

Maybe I'm gonna catch some flak for this, but a famous person I feel connected to and honestly pretty similar to is Taylor Swift. Yes, recently she's released some angry songs about Kanye and all of that drama which I'm not a huge fan of, but she comes through as feminine and dedicated to her man (men...) on for instance "Call me what you want" and even Delicate, and most of her old stuff. She's failed a bunch of times in love, writes honestly about it and seems to learn from her mistakes. She's…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 08:37 AM
1

If you have some degree of closure available, sure, that's great. I think us women have a really hard time stopping to believe in "the one", to discount the all-encompassing feelings that come with something that feels 100% right. This has to mean the feelings weren't real, since it didn't work out, right?? It seems like your options are proving your feelings right by holding on to them, or to drop it but by doing that losing the faith you once had in love and in your feelings, to have it be rep…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/19 01:33 AM
1

:) It's partially about being "set in your ways" but another big part of it is that when you are going on those first dates and it's time to start transitioning towards something more serious, it's easy to get really nervous and wanting it really bad, thinking the stakes are too high. This will either result in being insincere and trying to be eerily perfect or to be self sabotaging as a defense. Or, self sabotaging when picking who to go on dates with in the first place by choosing men you know…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/19 01:09 AM
1

There could be many reasons, and many things you can do to improve. Speaking as someone who was in relationships for 8 years, then single for 3, I'd say that one reason you are struggling is that the longer you are single the easier it is to be single and the harder it is to "get back in". I don't necessarily think that a long break is going to positive difference, but a shift of mindset might. When you're single while dating for a long time, that essentially means a string of failures for whate…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/19 12:18 AM
2

I'd say that he definitely likes you, and it would take more than an offering of snacks to put him off for good, but be careful not to do things like this every time he indicates he needs space. If he experiences that the more he pulls back the harder you pursue, that's what is going to give him this feeling that you are trying to tie a rope around him. The more he pulls back, the less he is investing. I'm not saying keep score, but make sure to respect his signals and needs. I would however be …
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/19 08:21 AM
3

He introduces me to people we run into when we're together, but otherwise keeps me a secret (Asian VS White heritage, his parents and friend group heavily dislike me and my family for being holier-than-though, narcissistic, and allegedly crazy. My family and friends all heavily dislike him and his family/friend group for being amoral, uneducated, and selfish). Ah the cultural aspect. I have a little bit of that to deal with as well. Do you have each other's backs? This is definitely a drawback, …
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/19 03:41 AM
6

It sounds like you don't think he's being genuine. And you might be right, in your post you only refer to his words. Talk is cheap, look at his actions to see if he really cares. Does he invest in you? Does he make any sacrifices to spend time with you, or do you just get his leftovers? Does he introduce you to other people in his life?
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/19 03:21 AM
7

Yes he is pulling away, no it is not a bad sign, it is natural. This is a kind of "test" that guys do as the relationship progresses. And it's where most kind women fail. It's not deliberate from the man's point of view, but I've noticed it happens pretty much every time around the 1.5-2 month mark after a particularly intimate date/weekend. Once your relationship starts progressing and getting close, he will pull back. The correct response here is to give him the space! The test is whether you …
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/19 03:09 AM
4

I think some of these responses aren't that practical or nuanced. You guys are on an app and haven't met yet. There is a major shift that happens after you meet. I've been in your shoes on the app, and knock on wood I have never ever been on a date where the guy didn't want another date (I have screwed up later in the run a couple of times by overinvesting but I'm great at making first impressions). I've had to borderline nag a guy who just didn't seem like he took the app/dating seriously and a…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 05:49 AM
14

Well. Just embrace the fact that it's not going to just happen on its own. You have to apply yourself. But you CAN fall in love with exercise, with how it makes you feel and how it makes you look. Also if you're skinny fat you have a better starting point than a lot of people since you don't have to go through a long period of weightloss before you see fitness results. I think a lot of people will tell you to find something you love. My advice is to fall in love with the gym. Weightlifting is th…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/19 09:13 AM
13

I just make things come up in conversations naturally and gauge his reaction. For instance, just asking dreamy questions about the future, talk about your current lives, and then when it's your turn you might say something like "I really love it here in this city. But I see myself moving to [location] some day in the future when I have kids" or whatever version is yours, pointing at where you want to be later in life. Joke about something like "Wait you don't like Backstreet Boys?? That's a deal…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/19 07:56 AM
5

I attracted him with a deep conversation at a party. He asked me out after. We kept seeing each other. I kept him by being value added to his life, and by not applying pressure. Specifically I was someone who he came to for advice on things, I helped him out with a work project. I cooked delicious meals, and it was obvious I'm someone who respects my body and takes care of my appearance. And as long as he wasn't committed, I wasn't fully his, meaning I was available to be charmed by other men (n…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/19 07:43 AM
1

I know eastern Europe can be pretty backwards when it comes to race, so an interracial couple are probably going to have a harder time than people in less racist countries. This is really sad. Don't let that bring you down, you should date whoever you want, marry whoever is most suited to you. Racism is just as horrible when it's common. It's going to change in your country too. Definitely in your lifetime. And if you are a wonderful woman who happens to fall in love with a wonderful man not you…
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 08:30 AM
7

Fitness geek and hobby nutritionist here. Also happen to be vegetarian (not for fitness reasons), so if you need suggestions I'm here for that too:) There is only one way to lose weight: eat less than you burn. So you can either burn extra (by exercising) or eat less, or a combination. For weight loss, eating less is FAR easier and lower effort than burning more. For instance, eating 200 calories less is less effort than being on the treadmill burning them. Exercise is great for health, for shap…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/19 12:43 AM
1

Yes this is exactly it, but I'm not 100% sure to what extent it will affect me, since I may adjust my tastes a bit this time around. I'm not reallllly afraid of not finding someone else just because of my SMV dropping slightly, I'm more a little bit anxious of alpha widowing myself, because I know if I'm looking for a man different from my current man I will have to sacrifice some of the things he's best at that make me so attracted to him. ​ I truly believe I won't find someone who is as good a…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/19 06:13 AM
2

Thank you for the encouraging words! This lifts my spirits a bit, I have spent a lot of time on self improvement and setting myself up for the kind of life I want and envision. In one way I have it all right now, I'm just not sure if romantic comedy fun college boyfriend (great wording and it's what it feels like, which has been very nice in its own way) is what my future husband should be like. It would shatter my heart (and his) to leave him but we keep clashing and I feel we're struggling to …
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/19 05:57 AM
7

I think what he says is he says isn't that he's looking for someone bossy or argumentative, but someone who is confident enough around him to be herself - even when they disagree with him. Which basically means he's not going to pick a member of his fanclub who will then turn on him and be different the moment he lets go and falls for her. He wants so see something real, someone who holds her own opinions and isn't just looking to figure out what his is to copy. If you do this then his spidy sen…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/19 10:13 AM
2

Thank you for the very kind words :) I just hope I'll choose the path of the least regret. I will remember those words, to stay true and honest to what I want. Not 100% sure what I'm doing right now.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/19 09:52 AM
2

Yeah that's kind of what I did with my current boyfriend. I maxed out on the qualities I need and want, and then I didn't have to care about the things I can provide for myself, like money and self discipline.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/19 09:41 AM
2

It's true... At least I live in a place with a lot of high quality men, but they also take some work to get to fully commit. 40s, I'm not planning on going that long, but even spending the next 2-3 years getting into a relationship messes with the kind of timeline I want, and who knows what I'll even look like in 2 years.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/19 09:20 AM
2

Thank you for your reply. Definitely some mental gymnastics going on... But he is mature in his own way and we are on the same timeline (marry late next year, start making babies a year after that), and it's not the easiest to come by the package he has to offer, and it's not easy to get high SMV guys like him to be as invested as he is. He's the one who sits me down to have conversations about the relationship. He is driven by his principles and doesn't lie. I've dated men who were better seen …
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/19 09:15 AM
2

Well yes if things just would work out... He's great with kids, he loves kids, and has really high energy levels. Things don't exhaust him the way they do me, and I think he would be great to collaborate with on raising kids. He also has strong morals, is never sneaky or lying, appreciates when people are genuine and is not a follower.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/19 09:07 AM
1

I'd say the main enabler of cheating is lack of integrity, and a lack of self awareness and empathy, meaning someone who will just go with what they feel. The reason in the moment is mostly opportunity, potentially but not necessarily boosted by a stressful time in the relationship. Cheating simply isn't the solution. A good person will try and work things out, and leave if things don't work out.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/18 04:20 AM
1

I used to be in the exact same position. I'm successfull, attractive, very smart, high standards, attracted to guys with dominant personalities who are able to challenge me and not just fawn. My solution was simple and surprising: Things got a million times better when I moved to NYC. I met 3 guys I was super attracted to within the first six months by being outgoing and saying yes to things. One of them is my boyfriend of 1 year now. I've lived in other places like London, San Francisco and LA,…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/18 12:39 PM
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